#is it cause of the fact you are interested or genuinely have nothing else to do?

[watering-plastic-plants]

genuinely confused at how my dad decided to get a degree in a scientific field

[sunny-m00n]

[Sunny ranting about new a interest to people who don't care (part 26)]

the brainrot is deep and i'm dragging my friend down with me for this one i also made a lil Adventure Lineᵗᵐ because i couldn't sleep cause of bad thoughts, then promptly gave it googly eyes because no one can stop me just like no one can stop me from drawing me and a friend as narrators and making silly joke ideas in case we ever do a voice over of a few endings or something- anyways bye lol

[signanothername]

Was listening to “The Court Jester” before I thought of something.

Does your version of Nightmare have like, a will of some sort? Like, if Nightmare were to die because if Dream had won against him and like, killed nightmare or nightmare just died cause he old and crusty (/hj), would Killer get his things?? Like his mansion/castle, clothing, throne, prized possessions, etc. .or would Killer just mourn over Nightmare, wander around the castle and like, get nothing but help himself to things inside of it? Finding his secrets and stuff like that?

Interesting question >:)

Ok so i feel like it’s pretty much clear Nightmare does own a lot of things, his castle one of them of course

But I feel like had Nightmare died Killer wouldn’t inherit anything after, cause to inherit something you need to be a family, which Killer isn’t, and tbh, I don’t think Killer would ever care enough to want to inherit Nightmare’s possessions regardless, he certainly wouldn’t care if Nightmare died either

Nightmare’s death would negatively impact Killer, but not in a “Killer would feel sad and mourn Nightmare” kinda way, more like “Killer had been a bit codependent on Nightmare to find purpose that now Nightmare’s dead he doesn’t truly understand what to do with his life” kinda way, but even then, it’s not like Killer truly understood if he had any purpose at all anymore other than to be someone’s killing machine, so i feel like he’d move on to do whatever the fuck he wants anywhere he wants

Killer would simply abandon the castle and go somewhere else, especially with the fact that the one who kept him trapped there no longer exists to continue keeping him there, and it’s not like Killer holds any attachment to it or Nightmare, Killer can’t feel anything most of the time anyway, and even when he does (stage 1) it’s not like he holds Nightmares in high regard (especially with how Nightmare treated him)

Know who’d actually inherit Nightmare’s possessions tho? Dream, and unlike Killer, I can see Dream actually genuinely caring about inherenting every little thing Nightmare ever owned, cause Nightmare’s possessions are the only things left of his now dead brother, Dream would heavily mourn the loss of his brother and I can even see him taking care of Nightmare’s possessions for the rest of his ageless life, making sure the castle is spotless (spring cleaning if you will) he’d take all Nightmare had, from paperwork, to photos, to books, to the crescent golden crown and keep them somewhere safe, making sure they never wear down with time

Dream knows Nightmare actually cares about keeping things prestine and he aims to keep it as prestine as he possibly can (and maybe it’s cause of the crushing guilt weighing him down about how both their lives had been, and how he couldn’t ever fix it)

And who knows, maybe Dream would start healing when he realizes that there’s a tiny part of Nightmare that still cared about him even after his corruption in the process ;)

Part 2 (of sorts)

Part 3 (a lil bit)

Part 4

[ham-st4r]

𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓪 𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓪𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓹𝓽. 6 - 𝓛. 𝓗𝓮𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓾𝓷𝓰

📞Pairing: heeseung + fem reader!

Warnings: smut, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, pet names, mature jokes, cursing.

Genre: PSO (phone sex operator) heeseung

Number of words: 1,900k

Find your way around!

You called heeseung the next day at that same time, FaceTiming him after he got off work and you were out of school. You both talked and talked for hours, realizing how much you enjoyed just casually chatting with one another after your days had ended, and it soon became a habit.

Calling every other day turned into every day, and months passed by. Heeseung quickly became your best and only friend. Not only did he listen to you attentively and take genuine interest in you, but he also took care of you in a way that no one else had.

He’d guide you to pleasure and instruct you on how to touch yourself in all the right places until you were creaming around your fingers coming undone for him night after night.

At first, you were embarrassed that you were up until the morning up to no good till you found a phone sex website all those months ago, but now, as you talk with heeseung over the phone, you are so glad that you did cause you actually liked him and his company it was rare to meet good people online, but he was your diamond in the rough so to speak.

The only problem was that you couldn’t really take things further. You were miles away from him, and now that you’d be studying abroad, you would be even further away from him.

You didn’t quite know how to tell him, especially cause he was talking about flying to meet you so much recently, and the gesture was so sweet. The fact he would fly just to meet you was unfathomable in itself, but unfortunately, you’d have to turn him down.

“So I was thinking of coming next month if you’re open to that,” he says, looking at you through the phone screen. Your conversations were far more casual now. You both comfortably interacted and talked about anything or nothing at all, sometimes just enjoying one another’s presence or even sharing playlists. Some nights, he’d even set up his phone so you could watch him game. So, needless to say, in the months that have passed, you guys have grown close, and the only logical next step would be meeting up.

“Hee-“ he doesn’t let you finish before he goes into full-blown detail about coming to meet you. Truthfully, he didn’t want to let you speak cause he was afraid of you potentially saying no, so he tried his best to convince you before you gave him a solid answer.

“Look, this is all the money I saved.” he reaches into his drawer, holding up a stack of cash, and your eyes bulge at the amount he made all that from phone sex and a part-time job. “Tickets are cheaper around this time of year, too, so that helps. I’ve already been looking at places to go and sights to see, but I think it’ll be even better if you show me some of your favorite places to visit as well.” he smiles, and your heart fills with warmth from his consideration towards you. “Also,” he raises a sneaky brow, a small pink box coming into the frame. “Got you a little something,” he held out the box in front of the camera, and you gasped. It had to be some type of jewelry. You just hoped he didn’t spend too much; you were happy just spending time talking with him. You didn’t need a gift.

“Hee” you say softly looking over the box. “You didn’t have to meeting. You would be enough of a present.”

“Why thank you,” he says shyly and places the box down. “But I want to. You deserve a present for being my best friend, but maybe I could be your present, and you could unwrap me if you know what I mean,” he winks playfully.

“You’re so stupid,” you say endearingly. “I wish I could hug you right now,” he chuckles softly, wishing for the same exact thing.

“Me too, my angel, so what do you say? How about next month?” He asked, feeling a bit more confident with what your answer would be now that he showed you he was in a position to actually meet you.

You bit your lip, contemplating if you should tell him or not. You were about to cause if you didn’t, that would be unfair to him, but his eyes looked so hopeful that you couldn’t, so you lied. “Yeah next month” you whisper and he grins showing you that beautiful white smile.

“Next month,” he repeated while smiling from ear to ear. “Can’t wait to see you and give you your gift. I know you’ll love it.”

“I’ll love anything you get for me, hee,” you swoon.

“I know, my angel,” he hums. “I’m already thinking about how to spend our night together.”

“Have you now?” You quirk your brow.

“Yes, mam.” he reclined against his bed frame, his biceps on display thanks to his sleeveless shirt, and he looked so rideable at that moment.

“What are we gonna do?” You change the angle of your camera lying on your stomach, and he can see your butt while you kick your feet playfully.

He bites his lip at the sight running a palm over his length. “There’s a little park not far from you, a fancy restaurant that I had to book months in advance, and then I was thinking maybe you’d take me back to your place and show me around, yeah? Specifically, your bed.” his voice drops an octave lower, and it reminds you of the first night you called him. A tingle shoots through your core, your stomach doing the thing as he smiles at you.

“That sounds nice,” you mutter, trying to keep your cool, but you can’t when it’s him.

“That sounds good to you, angel?”

“Yes,” you answer again, a bit more quietly than before, and you feel just as timid as the first time you called him.

“Aww, don’t get all shy on me now. Weren’t you just spread open for me last night, fingers buried deep in your wet pussy while you begged for me to fuck you” he smirks and laughs at your embarrassment as you move out of the frame. “Now say it again, be a good girl,” he encourages, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine.

“Yes,” you say a little louder, but not pleasing enough for him.

“Louder,” he baits you.

“Yes,” your voice shakes, and your face heats up with embarrassment.

“Louder for me, angel, like you were last night,” he groans, his hand pressing on the tent that began to form underneath his pants.

“Yes, heeseung,” you moan, and it sounds so pleasing to his ears.

“Perfect.” You hear his pants unzip, and your eyes widen. “Don’t act surprised. I know you’re wet too, angel” He positions his camera further away so you can see between his legs clearly as he shifts out of his clothing on his lower half freeing his stiff veiny cock. “Fuck” he sighs in relief, running his palm over his cock. “Show me we’ve done this so many times, baby. It’s just me and you,” he whispers.

He’s right. You have done this often, but it didn’t take away any of your shyness while baring yourself to him on camera. The way he spoke to you made you feel like you had all the confidence in the world as you quickly flipped over on the bed, revealing your bottom half to him.

You hear a gasp from his end, and just the sight of between your legs made his eyes roll back in his head. “Now slip those cute little panties to the side and show me what only I get to see,” he grunts, gripping his base and squeezing tightly.

You timidly do as he says, and embarrassingly enough, there’s a thick string of arousal connected to your panties as you push them aside, showing him your tight hole.

“Angel, what are we gonna do with you? If my voice makes you this wet imagine if I was there whispering sweet nothings in your ear, rubbing your clit, and fucking your soaked pussy with this dick” he starts to stroke himself, slowly building up to the pleasure.

You whine helplessly, your hole squeezing so tightly around nothing as you circle your throbbing clit. “Heeseung,” you moan as your other hand busies itself inside your cunt, two dainty fingers filling your little pussy.

“That’s all you’d be able to say is my name after I finish with you,” he laughs breathily, tugging on his long dick until he reaches his tip rubbing his palm in fast circles as precum bubbles on the head. “I’d fuck you so good. The only thing you remember is my dick and my name stuff you so full you can’t even think straight, and the only thing you’ll want when I’m done is for me to do it all over again.”

“Yes, hee” You slip your finger as deep as they can go working fast circles on your overly sensitive clit, and it’s not long before you cum.

“Your pussy looks so good,” he groans. “Bet it’d look even better with my dick shoved deep in it. You’d like that, right angel?”

“Fuck yes, want nothing more than your thick cock filling my insides,” You moan lewdly, losing yourself in bliss as you imagine him doing any and everything to your touch-starved body. “Want to feel your cum inside me? Need you stuffing me full heeseung”

“God, you’re so fucking naughty sometimes” he fondles his balls a little, adding to the already mind-numbing pleasure. “You can have that baby. Every single last inch of my dick belongs to you. Id fill you up for being such a good girl, give you round after round of my warm cum breed your pussy till it’s leaking out of you for days.”

“Yes, need it so bad hee want to feel your cum in me,” you say breathlessly, your walls clenching around your fingers tightly as you came.

Your words made him reach his limit. The idea of filling you with his cum would literally be fulfilling one of his biggest fantasies.

“Fuck I’ll give it to you, ugh,” he whines. “I’m cumming” he announced, rubbing his dick faster until hot white spurts shot out from the tip and coated his tensing stomach.

“Me too” The sight of his face twisted in pleasure, his whiny moans and the amount of cum he spilled for you is what brought you to your second orgasm, rubbing your clit so fast until you were creaming and clenching your digits, wishing it was his cock instead. “Fuck yes,” you sigh, eyes squeezing shut while your orgasm takes over your body, your legs shaking with bliss as he rubs himself through his high, watching the way your body reacts to the pleasure.

Your breaths are heavy, and your fingers slip out of your hole, creamy white following after, and the sight makes heeseung’s cock twitch as he bites his lip. “Wish I could lick you clean, angel fuck” he let go of his soft cock, eyes glazed over with arousal and exhaustion.

“In a month from now,” You giggle softly and huff out a tired breath.

“Yeah, in a month from now,” he smirked, and he could hardly wait.

Thank you for reading. Please reblog and leave feedback! - 🐹

Permanent taglist @hee-pster @hoyeonheeseung @furious-eagle @heehoonsnemo

Just a call away taglist 🔖 @heeseungshim @rayofsunshineeee @fakeuwus @heesquared @skzenhalove @wildflowermooon

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

TERROR ANIMUS

KINKTOBER DAY 23 - HOGWARTS AU WITH JONATHAN CRANE

Pairing.| Jonathan Crane x fem!reader

Summary.| There is no one that you despise more than the arrogant Ravenclaw know-it-all who goes by the name Jonathan Crane. But his fascination with you is more dangerous than it seems.

Warnings.| Dubcon, noncon, spell casting, fear toxin but make it magical, p in v, fingering, blackmail, you're both 18.

Word count.| 5k

Notes.| I'm not the best with my Hogwarts knowledge, but this was actually really fun to write and its just an au.

Typically, Gryffindors and Slytherins would be arch nemesis’ within the grand Hogwarts walls. However, over the years of your schooling, you’d seem to have grown an enemy of your own, wrapped in a Ravenclaw cloak and tie. His exasperation had seemed to grow on you like mold, being in his presence soured your mood immediately. 

Jonathan Crane could almost be mistaken for a Slytherin, given the fact that he is a slithering snake. He found great joy in others misfortunes, the greatest in yours, so you made it your ambition to never fail around him. He was an outsider in between these historical grand halls, ambitious in being better than everyone else in the room, his intelligence was undeniable and curiosity of his strength and power would soon be your ruining. 

It was all because he had a fascination with you, one that he perfectly disguised as loathing. Jonathan was never interested in the sporting scene, but he would go out of his way to watch your quidditch games, in high hopes that you'd humiliate yourself. But Jonathan always seemed to be the one disappointed as he strided out of the stadium whilst you’d have everyone cheering for you. 

“What are you staring at Crane?” you grumbled, your face directed to your professor. 

You could feel his dark eyes burn your skin from beside you, coincidently, your professor set a sitting arrangement in hopes of improving the overall grades on average. Jonathan snorted and fixed his tie, your professor continued on with the lecture. 

“Nothing of much importance” he spat out under his breath. 

Your eyes snapped to him, you gave him an intimidating glare, but your looks always went unphased by him. In fact, your enemy smirked at you, his hips shifted underneath the wooden table. 

“If you look at me again, I’ll hex you, capeesh?” you warned in a stern tone. 

“Loud and clear” Jonathan rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the lecture. 

But Jonathan would find other ways to get under your skin, it was biased, you knew it, all he had to do was breathe a tad heavier than usual to get your blood to boil. A mental grin grew on his lips as he felt your body shift in your seat, the sound of your heavy inhale through your nose increased, the way your pen tapped firmly on the benchtop. One time you caused a scene in class merely because he asked how your day was going. You found yourself counting down the time, the words of your professor fell deaf on your ears, the only sound you focused on was the ticks of the ancient clock. 

As class was dismissed, you abruptly stood up and gathered your belongings in a rushed formation. Jonathan smiled innocently at you, but felt a slight bounce of anger as you ignored him completely, he wanted you to acknowledge how badly he loved to irritate you. 

Your anger quickly mellowed out as you felt a firm arm wrap over your shoulders. As you looked up, you smiled softly, Justin Helga, only the most popular boy in Gryffindor house. Usually, you stayed loyal to your Slytherin house, but you made an exception for him. Justin was dreamy, confident, genuine and thoughtful. His appearance was conventionally perfect, he was tall, dark, broad and had a flashing smile. You’d been dating only for a couple of weeks, you were both keeping it lowkey and focused on your studies as primary. But you couldn’t be helped to be smitten by the boy with a lion heart. 

As Jonathan exited the classroom, he managed to pick you out immediately through the pool of students. His jaw clenched, blue eyes twitched as he watched Justin put his slimy paws all over you. Jonathan muttered under his breath, his hand trailed over an old book locked in his arm before he spun his heel and strode off in the opposite direction. 

It was late at night, you hid in your corner of the library, several books open and your hand jotted your thoughts away. The library was always quiet at this time, but when your eyes wandered up, you locked eyes with a familiar set of blue eyes. Jonathan smiled at you, he sat alone also, he always sat alone regardless, but he couldn’t help but to watch you. 

Most of the students were off on break, welcomed back by their loving parents with open arms. But you always remained at Hogwarts, your parents would use the excuse that you needed to focus on your studies. Yet a blind man could see how much of a burden you were in your parents eyes. Jonathan also stayed most breaks as well, you just never cared enough to know why. 

Shortly after, Jonathan stood up and walked towards you, his footsteps echoed throughout the hall. Your body stiffened as you returned your focus to your work, he always wanted to ruin your day, he seemed to get off to it. 

“Can I join you?” Jonathan grinned, his posture cocky. 

You huffed out and immediately slammed your book shut, not caring if you’d get in trouble for breaking the rules. Jonathan whispered your name as you tried to walk past him. 

“What is it Jonathan?” you hissed lightly. 

“You don’t need to hate me so badly, you know?” he responded quietly, but his eyes were loud. 

You frowned towards him, you looked him up and down. Was this him being humorous? 

“Pardon?” you replied bluntly. 

“It’s our last year of school… Do you have enough space for all of this loathing towards me?” Jonathan asked slowly as he leant closer to you. Your head jolted back. 

“You’re pulling a trick on me” you scoffed, but Jonathan shook his head immediately. 

“No, no… It’s just that, I see you here almost every holiday break, who knows, maybe we aren’t so different after all?” Jonathan explained with a raised brow, his fingers taped onto his books. 

Your eyes narrowed towards him, he didn’t smile at you but his expression seemed sweet, genuine. Eventually, you sighed out in defeat and bobbed your head. 

“Are you not welcome home also?” you asked softly, vulnerably. 

“You could say that” Jonathan nodded, his pain flashed through his eyes just like yours would.

A soft sigh left your lips, suddenly you felt bad for him. Even though you always saw him, well tried to ignore him, you wonder why you never wondered why he was here too. Maybe because you assumed he merely wanted to piss you off more. 

“So, can I join you?” Jonathan grinned. 

“No speaking allowed” you warned, a stern expression locked on. 

Jonathan chuckled and sat down opposite you. Every so often, you’d look up, glance at him for only a moment. It was like he could hear you, cause his eyes would dart up, quickly followed up with a grin. The focus on your studies seemed to fade, were his eyes always that blue?

Over the days, you found yourself actually getting along with Jonathan and it felt skeptical. Now, it’s not like you’d tell him your darkest secret, but you could make small talk without wanting to rip his throat out. Not that there was ever much talking, but his presence was nice, it was different. Only sometimes did his appearance frustrate you.

Jonathan was kinder than it seemed, he’d help you out if you ever needed it, not that you’d ever admit that you did indeed need it. Casually, you’d just sit besides each other in the library, courtyards and dining hall. Sometimes you’d get so into conversation that the grin was non-wipeable, even earning a genuine laugh from one another. Whenever small, innocent things like your hands brushing against one another, you’d feel like sparks of electricity run through you. You’d wonder if he felt it too before you blocked that thought out of your head. 

Jonathan Crane was an enigma. His interest in fear was concerning, yet by the way that he explained it, you couldn’t help but to be intrigued in his theories. Sometimes you’d notice Jonathan walking tall throughout the halls. You’d try to follow after him but felt eerie whenever he’d disappear into the woods. It was better not to know, you didn’t care anyways, remember that. 

It wasn’t until the last night of break where you both sat in one of the courtyards. You were both mindlessly talking about each other's thoughts and dreams. Somehow your bodies had inched closer and closer together. It wasn’t until Jonathan made you jokingly smack his shoulder that you realized how near you were.

The laughter quickly died, you both looked into one another's eyes. Your heart pounded in your chest, lower lip begging to be bit onto. Jonathan whispered your name, his hand slowly snaked up to your flustered cheek. His touch was melting at your skin, right as he leaned in to kiss you, the sound of two professors laughing echoed as they walked past nearby. You flew away from him, flashing your mentors a forced smile, Jonathan muttered under his breath. As Jonathan looked over to you, his eyes narrowed with how quickly you were on your feet. 

“Where are you going?” he questioned. 

“It’s late and getting cold” you sighed, avoiding his gaze. 

Jonathan stood up and blocked your path as you tried to slip past him. He whispered your name once more, you hated how sweet it sounded on his tongue. When you ignored him, he repeated himself more firmly. It seemed he had to grip onto your forearms to grab your attention.

“This is wrong” you admitted, finally looking him in the eyes. 

“Wrong? All because our bickering over the years actually meant something more meaningful sweetheart?” Jonathan spoke quietly, gently. His eyes tried to plead with you but you were ignoring him like a sickness.

“This doesn’t mean anything” you objected arrogantly.

“Stop being stubborn sweetheart, I won’t tease you for it” Jonathan assured, blue eyes wide with honesty as he slowly closed into you. “I want you, please” he confessed, begging for you. 

You’ve never seen him beg before. Never seen him so vulnerable, helpless, submissive. His thumbs drew circles as he swallowed the lump in his throat. Your emotions screamed for you to let your guard down, but your pride had thrown away the key. 

You snatched your arms free before any regretful actions could course through. “Goodnight Jonathan” you farewelled without looking into his eyes again. Jonathan watched you flee, his hands resisted to form into fists and jaw twitched from the humiliating rejection.

As the students returned to Hogwarts, so did your neglectful behavior to Jonathan. Your little holiday had to remain in the dark, your friends couldn’t know that you were managing to get along with a particular Ravenclaw. They’d give you so much shit for it, you’ve already expressed him to be a living plague. 

You sat on the balcony with your friends after a long day of schooling. Your mind was zoning out with him still on your mind. They were all talking about their fantastic school break, the trips they took and mischief they got up to. The thought of going back home after graduation stressed you out. You couldn’t wait to be free from everyone. 

Evie called your name, you blinked back to reality, your brows furrowed as you looked at her. All of the girls were grinning towards you. “Here comes your boyfriend” she giggled obnoxiously. 

Your eyes darted over to Jonathan, typically he was striding like he had somewhere important to be. His entire pompous and narcissistic aura soured your mood immediately. Of course, he was heading your way, in front of all of your friends. 

“Come on, do it” Lavender egged on. 

“What?” you glowered. 

“Pull the trip jinx on him” Evie explained, her hands waved around in contribution.

“That was only a joke” you muttered. 

You’d rant about wanting to embarrass him, constantly. Always would you say about pulling the trip jinx on him, just for all of you to laugh at him, bruise that massive ego of his. But, now that he had some dirt on you, you couldn’t even think of doing that. 

“Don’t be a chicken, do it!” Flu chimed in, a frustrated expression on her. 

Your eyes darted over at him, he was looking right at you, a wicked grin on his lips. His footsteps became louder as he approached you. Mentally, sweat was rolling down your skin, you forced your sight away from him. 

“No” you said sternly. 

Everyone sighed heavily, but Evie had this menacing look on. Right as Jonathan proudly walked in between all of you, his eyes locked onto yours, Evie drew her wand from her cloak. Your eyes widened as you saw her raise it in the corner of your eye. 

“Offendo!” Evie shouted as she casted the spell. 

Swiftly, Jonathan tripped onto the stone flooring, he grunted out in pain, his belongings scattered everywhere. Everyone bursted into a fit of laughter, you sat there silently, your throat tightened. His blue eyes shot up to you, waiting for you to do something, anything. But you didn’t, it was clear where your loyalties lied. 

“On your knees for her as per usual, right Crane?” Lavender insulted, a disgusting grin on her lips. 

“In his dreams” Flu snorted. 

“Careful, he might use a love potion on you” Evie joked, as she tiptoed around his books over to you. 

The way he was shooting daggers at you pissed you off. Why was he staring at you like this was your fault, your doings? Your brows scrunched together, fists tightened as he continued to stare at you, surprisingly no words leaving his lips. 

“What did I say about looking at me, you nitwit” you hissed. 

Jonathan lightly laughed and moved up onto his knees. His hands rested on his hips as he looked you up and down, your breathing hitched everytime he looked at you that way. 

“Was just curious about what the boys said about you! A slyth-slut indeed!” Jonathan pronounced proudly. 

Even if they wanted to stop you, the speed you charged at was impressive. Before Jonathan could react, you pinned him to the ground, your hips straddled his, your fist crashed into his jaw. The girls laughed and cheered you on, effortlessly, you held Jonathan to the floor, his legs squirm underneath you as the girls threw insults at him. 

“Next time I’ll break your jaw, capeesh?” you threatened, your anger unleashed. 

But Jonathan only smirked at you, his hips rolled against yours, you shuddered at the sparks of friction and leaped off of him. As your eyes remained glued to one another, you tried to decipher Jonathan’s expression. It was a mixture of anger, excitement, betrayal and, you prayed you got this one wrong, but lust. 

A professor called out your name, your head shot into her direction. Swearing under your breath, she strided over to you all. With a few disappointing words echoed, she wrapped her hand around your bicep and tugged you away from the others. 

“Oh it wasn’t her fault, Professor! He called her a slut!” Evie objected, but her words fell deaf. Your head snapped back, Jonathan was still watching you from the ground, his legs wide apart as he smirked towards you. 

The loyalty inside of you forced you to take the fall for Evie’s harmless spell. You were internally suspended for two days and had to write a sincere apology to Jonathan. But the worst punishment was a lengthy phone call with your parents. Everytime you hoped to put down the phone, their verbal abuse continued on. A disappointment you were, you needed to control your wild anger, apparently. The fuel of hatred towards Jonathan was reignited at full power, you could rip him to shreds. 

The next week, Jonathan and yourself seemed to ignore one another's existence completely. It was contradicting, you were relieved that you didn’t have to hear his irritating voice a little more. Yet found it infuriating that he wouldn’t acknowledge your existence. Sometimes you felt the urge to apologize, but when you took a quick glance at him, those thoughts vanished. 

The week after, you smiled gleefully at the note slipped underneath your door. Justin’s handwriting was perfect. You found yourself kicking your feet off of the end of the bed as you read it over and over again.

You’re the color of green

Your beauty dances like leaves in the wind

You fuel my sweet nature

My luck has struck with you

Meet me in the old theater room at 8pm x

Justin

The poem was cheesy without doubt. But you didn’t care, it was romantic gestures like these that always made your heart swoon. You hid the note and rushed to the bathroom to get ready. The grin on your lips couldn’t be wiped off, thankfully you were alone for no nosy snakes to interrogate you.

You slithered your way out of your common room. The cloak remained over your head as you rushed to the fourth floor. There weren't many lurking around in these areas, but you couldn’t help but to feel a rush of excitement surge through you. 

With your head poking in both directions, you opened the door and slipped into the theater. The room was dark, you raised your wand and the candles turned lit. But the room was empty, cold and honestly, it felt slightly off. It was exactly eight, but Justin seemed to be nowhere in sight. You slowly stepped down towards the stage, your eyes lingered over the empty rows of seats, your anxiety came together in your stomach. 

The footsteps you heard were all too familiar. Your brows scrunched as he came into sight on the stage. As you observed Jonathan, your eyes widened and fists formed, of course this was a stupid ploy from him. There were no words you could form, but your anger brewed and Jonathan found amusement from it. 

“You really are easy, huh?” Jonathan joked, your silence was his glory. “Can I tell you a secret?” Jonathan asked, his voice echoed throughout the room. 

“What? You’re a fucking creep?” you insulted, arms crossed over your chest.

“I’ve come across a book of spells, far too dangerous to be taught within these school grounds” Jonathan disclosed, his arms raised wide as if it was something to be proud of. 

“You seem to be the one with the tongue of a snake” you snarled. “You’re such a freak! You know that right!” you shouted, veins popped out. 

The anger was uncontrollable, you wanted to abuse him in every way possible at this moment. Jonathan laughed and jumped off the stage, his hands rested on his hips as he walked towards you. You continued on, calling him every name in the book. With how caught up you were in your anger, you didn’t notice him close the distance inbetween you too. 

Jonathan wrapped his arms around you and kissed you passionately, his tongue slipped to the back of your throat. At first, your body accepted the kiss but you managed to shove him off of you and slapped him across the cheek. The strike echoed, redness pulsed over his skin as he smirked towards you. 

“You’re a pig” you spat before you spun your heel and stormed towards the exit. 

“I’ll only tell you to stop once” Jonathan warned. 

But there was no concern in his voice for his next actions. You replied but giving him the finger, the door growing closer. Jonathan pulled his wand from his pocket and flipped it for dramatic effect, as he pointed the tip at you, he casted the spell. 

“Terror animus!” Jonathan roared. 

A flash of green struck you, the mist swarmed around your entire body as you gasped out for air. Quickly, you tumbled to the fall as you tried to breathe. Jonathan smirked, he slowly moved in, his head moved around to observe every reaction surging through you. You were on your side, your body shivering as Jonathan rested his shoe on your hip and guided you on to your back. You looked at him fearfully, Jonathan couldn’t help but to groan out, a truly wicked grin on his lips. 

“Jon-Jon-Jonathan… What have you done to me” you wheezed, your hands up to your chest. 

Your chest felt like it was going to implode. The speed that your heart was beating seemed physically impossible, you couldn’t breathe, your throat was completely swelled up. Through glossy eyes, you could point out Jonathan’s figure, but his feature was completely darkened, you cowered before him. 

“Fear is a fascinating concept, isn’t it?” Jonathan teased as he bent down beside you. 

Your body shivered, you looked so cold, so helpless, like a frightened puppy. It felt inhumane for Jonathan not to pull you into his arms. He stroked the strains of your hair behind your ears, he smiled innocently at you. 

“There, there… You’ll be okay, the spell is only temporary…” Jonathan cooed, as if his words didn’t enter your brain all jumbled up. His voice was demonic, blue eyes burnt into your soul. He easily pulled off your cloak, his eyes admired all of your curves. 

Your body latched onto him for dear life, your eyes squeezed shut as you begged for this nightmare to be over. It was the perfect melody for him. Jonathan tutted by your ear, his hand rubbed your bare thigh just below the hem of your skirt, he always thought the length of your skirt played a dangerous game. You moaned out softly as he gently caressed your skin, his mouth hung wide open, a wicked grin grew on his lips as he observed your eyes roll back, tongue poke out of your open lips, throat swallow intensely. 

On his knees, Jonathan shifted his hips as he felt his trousers to be rather tight. But when the friction caused him to groan out, his head turned to look at the bulge in his pants. A sly smirk rested on Jonathan’s sinister lips, he looked back at you, your eyes batted fearfully at him. 

“Oh my, you’ve gotten me all erect” Jonathan commented casually. 

He made sure to rub his bulge over your bare thighs, you stammered out, your heartbeat rose once more. In an attempt to push your weak body off of him, Jonathan squeezed you against him. 

“I’m going to get you expelled, you’re going to be locked up!” You choked out, eyes swelled with the horror imagery of laying with him. 

Jonathan chuckled and laid you on the cold wooden flooring, he straddled your hips and effortlessly pinned your arms above your head. Taking your jaw in his hand, he pointed your face at his, your swollen eyes blinked slowly. 

“No… You won’t tell a soul, or I’ll make sure that you’ll stay in this state for eternity. You’ll be locked up in a madhouse for the rest of your days” Jonathan laughed darkly as he kissed your cheek. 

“N-no Jon-Jon-ahh” you squirmed. 

Jonathan continued to kiss you softly, tenderly around your heated face. Then his lips teased you by brushing over yours, just like a snake teasing its prey. His intelligence was clearly underestimated. Right when you believed Jonathan would kiss you, he brought to light your new agreement. 

“I have a variety of spells I desire to test on. The species of animals I’ve been testing on doesn’t satisfy me. I need a human subject, so come on, be ambitious for me! Perhaps this can teach you some loyalty, I know you lack that” Jonathan snarled your new agreement, a sinister smirk trapped on his lips. 

You shook your head at the proposition, he was crazy. But Jonathan snorted at your response before he passionately kissed you. You were too terrified to fight back, so you allowed his venomous tongue to slither down into your throat. His hand slipped into your loose hair, twirling it around his fingers before he pulled your head back. 

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t want to do any permanent damage to you. But you’re going to be my little lab rat, you got that? Gonna be my good girl. I’ll experiment on you, then to reward you for your scientific sacrifice, you’ll sit on my cock” Jonathan smirked, your skirt had already rode up to your waist, so his crotch grinded against your exposed cream panties with a growing damp spot. 

“Jonathan please!” you begged, tears streamed down your cheeks. 

“Shush, I’ll be gentle, I promise” Jonathan soothed, his hands traveling to your hips. 

It was like there was an invisible bind to your wrists, you were too fearful to move. His slim digits teased around your panties, once they looped around the bands, he tugged them down to your knees. An animalistic growl left his lips as he stroked your folds, they were glistered, you wanted him just as badly. Without forewarning, Jonathan pushed a digit inside of you, his dark eyes widened with arousal at the tight warmth. Once his digit completely vanished inside your sweet walls, he added another. The palm of his hand rubbed over his bulge, his eyes couldn’t get enough. They’d constantly snap from your pussy to your gorgeous expressions. The moans you whined out were to die for. 

As he took his fingers into his mouth, he unbuckled his pants and pulled out his cock. His body fell on top of yours, hands spread your legs apart, he looked you deeply in the eye as he lined his tip with your entrance. You stared back at him with wide eyes, blossoming with fear. Jonathan moaned out, a pure smile of glee fullness on his lips. 

“Forgive me, I’ve never been with a girl before” Jonathan muttered as he pressed his length in. “But I’ve studied human anatomy inside out, literally. So this shouldn’t be too difficult to navigate” he continued on as he slowly pushed himself in further. 

Jonathan shuddered out, the vibrations of pleasure rolled over him. He couldn’t keep his mouth shut, the moans that formed out of his mouth were damn right pathetic. But there was not a hint of shame or embarrassment in his figure. Even though you hadn’t seen his size, you could still manage to figure how large he was. But you weren’t sure if it was just a trick in your mind, or if he was actually going to rip you in half. 

“How many cocks have you had, hm?” Jonathan asked, his cock halfway in. 

“T-two..” you choked out. 

Jonathan flared his nostrils at your answer. A massive part of him really hoped you’d say that you were a virgin too. Your arms latched around him, despite how badly you wanted to bash his head in, you needed to hold onto reality. Jonathan smiled as he continued to push his cock into your velvet walls, every push ran a new wave of pleasure over him. 

“Knew you wanted me, you were too much of a stuck up bitch to convince me otherwise” Jonathan hissed out, his cock almost buried in deep.

You whined out in response, your walls squeezed him repetitively. Even though your vision was blurred, Jonathan’s presence felt frightening, intimidating. His breaths were like a beast, his mouth nibbled over your earlobe whilst his hands squeezed your breasts through your shirt. 

“You’ll show me some fucking respect from now on” Jonathan commanded harshly. 

You whimpered out and nodded your head quickly towards him, desperately feeling a compulsion to obey him. That sweet, timid expression of yours was pathetic, it made his cock twitch rapidly in between your tight walls. 

“You’re so beautiful when you’re afraid” Jonathan complimented softly. Then, like a balloon popping, Jonathan felt his orgasm reach the edge. “Oh fuck” Jonathan whined as he quickly yanked his cock out of you. 

He couldn’t risk getting you pregnant, he at least needed to have some fun with you first. Jonathan pumped his coated cock in his hand, his ropes of white spurted across your stomach and shirt that fell loose from your skirt, Jonathan cursed to himself as his strokes slowed down. His chest undulated as his eyes fluttered, a permanent smirk was locked on his lips as he squeezed the base of his shaft. 

“I’ll stay with you until the spell wears off” Jonathan heaved out. 

He tucked himself back into his pants, propped himself back onto his elbows as he grinned widely to himself. He observed your timid state, your body continued to shiver, from a mixture of the coldness, pleasure and fear. The semen on your body was wiped off with your cloak. 

“H-h-how lon-ng?” you squeaked, body still trembling like leaves in the wind. 

“I’m not entirely sure, there's a number of factors to take into consideration” Jonathan replied. 

You inched closer to him, Jonathan sighed and welcomed you into his arms, he held you tight. A part of Jonathan regretted not bringing a notepad to jot down everything. Oh well, he was sure he’d remember this perfectly. His fingers teased your sensitive entrance, your hips rocked against him, breathing deep as you kept your face buried in the crook of his neck. 

“Quite fascinating” Jonathan commented with his fingers deep inside of you, you moaned as his fingers curled. “Should we just stay here the night? Hm? It’s quite cozy and certainly secluded…” Jonathan suggested devilishly. 

It wasn’t exactly cozy, but there was enough supplies hidden behind the stage to change that. When Jonathan left, you anxiously waited for him to come back. It felt like he was gone for hours, even though it was only a few minutes. He’d returned with old thick blankets in his arms, ones that were used in a play years ago. The sheet is laid on the ground and Jonathan rolled you onto it, he draped the large fabric across your bodies and held you.

“You belong to me now, capeesh?” Jonathan mocked, a cheeky grin on his lips. You looked up at him and slowly batted your tear filled lashes.

“Yes Jonathan” you replied as his fingers trailed back down to your core. 

“You should have submitted yourself to me in the courtyard” Jonathan clicked his tongue. 

But there was no regret on his end. This ordeal seemed much more fitting anyways. How was it that you were the Slytherin, yet he was the viper and you were nothing more than a helpless mouse.

[cuntdevil]

★ DIVERSE PALETTE!

you always considered yourself diverse within the world of food & the culinary arts, but you realize how inept you are when you meet sukuna. he lets you know that your palette was weak until you tried him.

( fic demographics. ) jujutsu kaisen, sukuna ryomen, fluff & sexually mature | minors, ageless & blank blogs: do not interact & 1544 words.

╰┈➤ chef!sukuna, afab!reader (she/her pronouns), panty thief!sukuna, fingering, slight pussy job, unprotected sex, finger sucking, lowercase intended (i wrote this on my phone lolz), not proofread.

( author's note. ) kinda wanna expand on chef!sukuna now? would love to write a long fic dedicated to it now. it'd be so yummy 😋 !!

"oh, really?" his chuckle is deep, reverberating from his chest as he listens to you go on and on about the many trips you've taken around the world. how you've tried so many cuisines and the authentic delicacies of the people from whichever country you've made a visit to. you're not even trying to be a pretentious bitch, eyes lighting up in genuine passion as they sparkle under the dim lights of the restaurant of his choice.

the moment he had mention his interests in cooking, never letting you know that he was a chef with a restaurant of his own, you leaned in over the table, your interest evidently piqued as he gives a simple shrug, not finding what about his occupation made him so captivating. this blind date was supposed to fail, he thought. he believed that with the shrug of his shoulders and his dreadful nonchalance would pull you away from him. a sweet thing that sat at a table all along after he was nearly an hour late. eyes that pitied you as you looked around in expectance. truthfully, his plans were to stand you up, but you were badgering his friends and in response, his friends badgered him.

a few of his "friends" or his work colleagues as he preferred to put it, had set him up on one in hopes to get him out of his work. he found nothing intriguing about his career choice, yet he slaved away in the kitchen to perfect his craft. he loved his job, but he didn't see the point in talking about it outside of it. it's what he did, and when he did allot time outside of it, he didn't want to talk about it.

but you? you wore a vermillion dress that went well with your warm undertones, causing you to glow within the stiff building. where everyone else wore the safe colors of black and white, you stood out in the satin cloth that clings to you in a snug fit with gold jewelry that rests against your brown skin and further accentuates your beauty. you're not wearing that much makeup, but sukuna wouldn't know. that's not something he's too familiar, but if you are, it melts beautifully into your skin and it's alluring.

he finds your passion for the topic amusing, noticing that you're picking at your plate with your fork. you've eaten a bit, but not a lot. tapping his feet against the tiled-floor as he took becomes interested, it must be contagious. "what do you think about your food tonight? how does it compare to everywhere else you've been?"

"oh! um..." you stop in your tracks, eyes widening at the tone he takes. you realize that you've done it again. started rambling and made yourself seem like all that you're not. you become hyper aware of everything you're doing, wondering if you're being an asshole by bringing up your experiences. you've been told that you might come across that way. in fact, before arriving to this date, you were told not to bring up your trips. and here you are, doing just that. "um, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to come off a certain way—"

he notices that you drop the fork, letting it fall to the plate with a clank. you start fidgeting with your nails, picking at the skin. an awful habit you've come to have. "i'm no food critic or expert, just a foodie who travels a lot, so i don't think that it'll really matter. the food does taste good though! i just got... a little ahead of myself."

cute, he thinks.

"huh?" you grow flustered at the mumbled comment. you're sure he didn't mean to utter that out loud if you're absolutely sure you caught what he said. it's good to know that you've got his attention somehow.

"hm?" he dismisses it with a clear in his throat. "well, i didn't mean to sound so condescending myself. i just wanted to see if this restaurant was matching your tastes."

the heat bites at your face, as you're quick to dismiss his words. "oh, don't worry! i'll eat anything— everything matches my tastes."

"oh yeah?" his voice grows even huskier. "then im pretty sure you won't mind having a taste of me."

"what... what?" the conversation has took a turn and you're unsure if it's for the better or worse, but sukuna's sitting up in his chair, leaning closer to you to the point you can feel his breath against your skin. you didn't mishear him. you know that for sure just based on the dark gleam in his eyes.

"you heard me," a devious grin graving his features. sharp, carnivorous teeth that peak out from his lips in a dashing grin. "i'm dying to just have a taste of you. i'm sure you wouldn't mind having one for yourself, hm?"

₊˚⊹♡

he's an insatiable creature who's lips you can't help but devour whenever he's in your presence. a man that you can't get enough of and puts all of your endeavors to shame. you've come to learn that he's a man skilled in the kitchen as well in the bed, that first night after your first date with him, putting every other man and every plate into an embarrassed frenzy.

he was bold and passionate, despite what he wanted to deceive you on. his nonchalance could never hide how he yearned and strived to be better and to improve every dish he's created.

"no one's ever mastered anything," he told you once, while he cooked you steamed fish. his callused hands moving delicately across the plate as he handled the food with care. this was a dinner date after all, and he had to improve his little food critic. "there's always some way we can improve."

what you both believed to be one night of heavenly passion turned into more. something genuine being pulled out in the midst of it all. he was right in a sense. it was human nature to have flaws, but you could see none of his. not even with the way he manhandled you in the night, while in the day, he'd hold you like a lady.

he was a course that you had never tasted before. that exploded on your taste buds the moment you kissed him. with a lingering touch and the swipe of his finger against your bottom lip before he intoxicated you with his divinity. he was something that had you weak in the knees, ready to bow down to him at any moment's time. he proved to you that your exquisite palette was as exquisite as you made it to be.

his rough, callused hands that are tender from a long day's worth of cooking and preparation for the next hold gently as he carries you over to the bed. lines of blue that traverse his wrists, a thumb padding and rubbing calming circles into your hips. smooth and soft, supple lips that capture yours for a heated kiss— a shared silence between the two of you, minus the huffs of haughty moans and the air you both share.

your whines and whimpers are weak, swallowed by him as he devours you. but you do the same. nimble fingers that grasp at him, arms that wrap around his shoulder and nails digging into his back. he flexes and contracts at the pinch of skin, trying to get impossibly closer. the pile of clothing builds into a haphazardous mess, watching the two of you messily dance towards your bed.

and you bounce when you land on top, a squeal that should all be too familiar with this process. your eyes gloss and shimmer with an expectancy as they take in sukuna's spectacular form. black ink that travel the course of his body, prominent in the dim lighting of his bedroom.

your eyes roam as he unzips his pants, a relief to be unrestrained as he shimmies from out of them and they pool to the floor. black boxer briefs that hug him perfectly and does nothing to hide the growing erection that's underneath. all the while, his eyes stayed on yours, watching how you were so mesmerized with him. one knee causes the bed to dip, the route to you is now muscle memory. he hovers over you, an intimidating spirit that causes your stomach to flutter with butterflies and a pool growing in between your legs.

your fingers reach for the band of his underwear, and with you, he's not afraid to let go. he exhales as he lets you reach inside, fingers that graze and gently pull at the dark hues of his happy trail, combing your digits through the tufts of hair before you feel the base of his cock. you both let out a sound of need— you anticipating his cock and him loving the feeling of you around him. he has a habit of knitting his eyebrows together whenever you give into the urge, thick bushes that allude to one as a guttural sound leaves his lips.

your hands are cold, sending a shiver down his spine as you squeeze slightly at the base. he continues to harden under your hold, the tent in his boxer briefs becoming more prominent despite your hand inside it. your free hand comes to wrap around his waist, feeling each crevice and well-sculpted muscle of him as you drag him down into you. releasing your hand from his underwear, you buck your hips into his erection. you're so heavy with need, wrapping a leg to pull him in immensely as you mewl. "ryo, i need you."

with a menacing smirk, his eyes look down at you devilishly. "'m all yours for the taking."

"i need you t'do something, ryo," you specify, growing whiny at his teasing and bucking your hips further into him. his bulge rubbing against your pussy, your juices seeping through your panties. your back arches from the bed, grinding up into him for the friction and how it feels so good. your chest beats fast, your breathes becoming short with heavy want and desire. it's so bad, you're starting to tear up the longer sukuna withholds action. "please."

"alright." he gives in easy at the sight of a tear prickling the corner of your eye. arms lowering to press his chest into yours and immediately capturing you for a kiss, his hands going straight to cupping your pussy and feeling just how wet you are through the lacy fabric. you both move in a rhythm, further dampening your panties as you exhale in delight. you mewl into his lips, letting him swallow every sound from you as he gnaws on your bottom lip.

rubbing in circles to your clothed clit, soon enough he can hear just how wet you are from his very few actions. he tugs down the underwear, pulling it down by the crotch. you assist in kicking it off, well aware that this might be another pair that'll find itself lost and no longer in your possession now that it's in the hands of sukuna. he's hasty in shoving two fingers inside of you, needing to stretch you no matter how many times the two of you have both shared this bed. you croak out a slightly pained moan as sukuna sucks on your bottom lip, shifting your focus.

your walls greedily suck him in, your juices like a trap as sukuna wants nothing than to create more, to see once more just how your pussy reacts to him. deep inside, his fingers curl inside of you before pulling out. his wet fingers traversing to your clit and taunting your needy hole. you clench, your juices seeping out as sukuna circles your nub. "that's enough, hm? or does my darling need more?"

fingers returning to its home inside your pussy, you whine at the feeling as he sets a moderate pace, fucking you with his thick fingers. your eyes shut, basking in the feeling as you let your body relax into him. no, it's never enough. he fills you with a carnal need that you're not sure you'll ever be able to satiate. he has you addicted, forever wanting more. will this intimacy ever be enough?

"i need more," you finally answer, hands reaching for his erection once more. cupping his cock as he did your pussy. "want you— your cock in me. please, ryo. please."

with a few more thrusts of his fingers, he removed them and lets them dance on your tongue, letting you taste your need for him. your tongue swirls, saliva replacing your slick. he joins you in your hum of delight, missing him tugging down his boxer briefs. a length too heavy that it falls, dark shafts with a mushroom tip, he holds it. rubbing the tip with his thumb, he hisses at how needy he is, feeling how much he himself also wants you.

he plants his length in between your folds, bucking his hips into you as he slides inbetween your pussy lips. his head tilts, fitting it in the crevice of your neck. his breath sends jolts down you, feeling his lips on your jaw as the head of his cock kisses your entrance, slowly sliding in. "it's all yours, love."

and feeling him inside you again, reminds you once more that you've never had anything— anyone — as good as him.

[nohaijiachi]

Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside

Before we get into the subject matter of the title let me preface a couple of things:

1- All that will follow is, big surprise, my opinion and my interpretation of this character. Do I think I am The One And Only Who Gets The Blorbo Right and that my ideas are 100% the way the author(s) intended to convey the character? No.

More likely than not the way I see Aziraphale could be intensely different from the way Authorman sees him, or Actorman sees him, and I don't think that my interpretation is necessarily any more correct than anybody's else.

That said, if I also did not think that I am, in fact, correct on a certain level, I wouldn't have bothered forming such a thought out opinion of Aziraphale in the first place, nor would be sitting here, writing this post that I can already tell is going to be entirely too long and might probably ruffle some feathers.

So I'll be writing the rest of this post with the caveat that I while I do think my interpretation correct, I'm also not trying to change anybody's mind nor to discredit anybody's else interpretation of Aziraphale. We can sit here in the sandpit and hold different opinions and still be able to build sandcastles together, it really isn't that deep at the end of the day; I can assure you, I'm not here to fight nor cause fights with this one.

2- With the above point, comes also the fact that I won't bother continuously saying "In my opinion" for the rest of this post. You already know that. So, if something will come across as a bit caustic, do know that it is very much tongue in cheek and I am poking a bit of fun at general fannish habits that I am also very much quote-unquoute 'guilty' of having partaken into, and will partake into again plenty of times in the future, I'm sure.

So, with that: Here's Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside

A large part of the people comprising this fandom prefers Crowley. There, I said it.

This fandom's preference blatantly skews toward Crowley. Can we admit that openly? Let's admit that openly.

To be clear, this isn't meant to be an accusation or recrimination or any other -ation you can think of, I am merely stating matter-of-factly a phenomena I've observed in the last four years.

It is also not a wrong nor bad thing in any way, shape or form. I adore Crowley myself. I love them both so much it's unreal.

But I started with that because I think it is very much a symptom of the fact that a lot of people don't get Aziraphale.

I remember back with S1 there had been plenty of times when I found myself reading discussions and opinion exchanges about Aziraphale and Crowley, their dynamics, all the things that went unsaid behind the things that were said, and found myself genuinely surprised by seeing how some people interpreted certain moments wildly different from how I personally saw them.

I look back at that and I think "Oh, sweet summer child". Nothing could have prepared me from the onslaught of takes about Aziraphale that make me go "Good lord, what???" in the wake of S2, and the infamous Last Fifteen.

Now because I don't want to be pointing fingers at specific things and risk upsetting somebody more than I already am by being open in admitting that, guys, yes, some of the takes y'all have been sharing make me go "Yikes(tm)", I'll move on the interesting part and what I would actually love to discuss, aka cracking Aziraphale's head open and see what that actual fuck is going on in there.

Another preface: Because this duo is intrinsically linked and woven together it is downright impossible to only focus on Aziraphale without also mentioning Crowley, so... Let me circle back to our fav demon bae for a sec, here.

I think the reason why it seems that a larger part of the fandom favors Crowley is because I feel like Crowley is a much easier character to grasp. He is very open in his thoughts and feelings, at any given moment us, the audience, have a much easier time watching a scene and sort of ruminating in the back of our heads about Crowley's motivations for saying the things he says and doing the things he does.

That isn't to say Crowley is a less complex character than Aziraphale. They are very much equally complex and multifaceted individuals with their strengths and weaknesses, their issues and the way they each cope with them, how differently they approach their existence and so on and so forth.

But whereas Crowley as a character presents itself with a certain dynamism and a far more outward openness about his complexity, Aziraphale does the exact opposite; we can say Aziraphale is downright hermetic about it.

For us, the audience, he presents a challenge that requires a good deal of thought being put into him to see over the facade he presents at a more superficial level; he requires time and effort to fully dismantle him in our minds to try and see what makes him thick (other than his thighs), and thus I think it is entirely natural that more people latch on the far easier to identify-with, and relate-to, Crowley.

And that is the inevitable consequence of everything that makes Aziraphale... Well, Aziraphale.

So, where to start? Let's try and jot down what Aziraphale truly is at his core.

He is a contradiction.

This man-shaped being is a walking contradiction, constantly existing in a state of being coated in three thousand layers of misdirection and obfuscation and double thinking.

Why is that? Well. He's an angel.

Aziraphale loves being an angel. It is a tenet of his entire existence and something he cherishes. He wants, so very much, to be his ideal of what a good angel is: An entity who is kind and loving and understanding and forgiving.

Of course us, the audience, know that is utter bullshit, because we know angels can be individuals just as complex as the humans Aziraphale loves so much, with all their inherent flaws and capability for cruelty. And, on a certain level, Aziraphale knows that too.

So there we have it, one element of contradiction: Aziraphale wants to think that angels are always Good and Righteous and Never Wrong; Aziraphale knows that angels aren't, in fact, always Good and Righteous and, by god, can they make plenty of mistakes, too.

What else? How about Aziraphale sitting there, being in love with a demon, fully knowing that at the end of the day demons really ain't that different from angels, and also desperately hanging onto the concept of Good vs Bad.

And he sits there, existing with these two contrasting idea equally taking space in his mind, neither side ever capable of taking over the other.

What else do we have? Aziraphale loves God and wants so hard to believe in Her love for humanity and Her ineffable plan, and Aziraphale also time and again does things that very blatantly go against Her will, lies to Her face, and Doubts. He Doubts, a lot, and that requires the capital letter because those Doubts are what spur him in going against everything he's ever told to believe in order to do the right thing.

Aziraphale's very existence is a constant push-and-pull of things he wants to believe and things he knows are real; things he's told to do and things he wants to do. That's how we get "My side" and "there's a bit of good in you" and "you are the bad guys".

And nothing he's lived through has managed to break him out of this unhealthy way of existing quite yet; that's why he acts the way we see him act in the Edinburgh flashback in S2, or at the start of S1 when Crowley has to ease Aziraphale into the idea of trying to stop Armageddon with the usual song and dance of "temptation" and "plausible deniability" and "you'd be thwarting me", even though from the start we can tell there's a little part of Aziraphale who is clearly not at ease with the idea of the end of the world, and once he's been given 'permission' by Crowley nudging him, he is all the way in with the whole saving the world business, not take-backsies.

Both the moments I mentioned here are very important for different reasons, but of the two is very much the Edinburgh flashback that gets a lot more flack by the fandom and is blatantly misunderstood, which I think is the inevitable consequence of that minisode immediately following the glorious, beautiful, heartbreaking piece of art that is the "A companion to owls" minisode.

I've seen a lot of people lamenting that Aziraphale acts obnoxiously in the Edinburgh flashback and, yeah. He does. But I feel like the fact that we are seeing this after watching Aziraphale struggle his way through saving Job's children, even being willing to go to Hell for it, is a though act to follow and probably soured Edinburgh-Aziraphale for a lot of people, made them think that the character had regressed instead of progressing.

But, see, the way he acts is wholly congruous with who Aziraphale is and has always been and keeps being up to the very end of S2. Yes, even after what he does for Job's children.

If you get down to it, Aziraphale had been ready to give up and let the children die, in episode 2. For a brief moment, after Crowley told him he 'longed to destroy the blameless children', Aziraphale was walking away, having tried all he thought he could try to do to stop this senseless act. That was until Crowley tested him by making the crows bleat, cuing Aziraphale to the fact that his impression of Crowley wasn't wrong, and the he could count on him to do the right thing.

To be clear, I don't want to undermine Aziraphale's action by only giving the credit to Crowley but... It is, also, only thanks to Crowley cajoling him and giving him the right excuses, that Aziraphale feels safe in doing what he's always wanted to do all along.

He'd wanted to save Job's children, and thought he couldn't until Crowley threw him that hell of a lifesaver. He wanted to save the world and thought he couldn't until Crowley nudged him on the path of plausible deniability.

He wanted to save Elspeth's eternal soul, blinding himself to the hardships she'd have to endure in her not-eternal life, and was smacked right in the face by the reality of human suffering multiple times.

The way Aziraphale acts in that flashback can't be a regression, because there never was a progression in the first place: He'd always walked the line between Heaven's and God's will and his own, personal morality and sense of justice.

By all means, if we look at Uz-Aziraphale and modern-day-Aziraphale at the start of S1, his reticence about the whole saving the world business should, by all means, appear as a regression as well. You mean to tell me that he'd been ready to become a demon for the sake of three mortal children, and then suddenly a handful of thousands years later when faced with the prospect of the whole world going up in flames he'd just be all like "Heaven will triumph over Hell and it will be all rather lovely"? Like, fuck off, Aziraphale, you lying double-thinker, you (/pos)

Aziraphale constantly exist while being at war with himself. Circumstances have allowed him to rebel the will of Heaven and God more or less safely time and again, but he never quite managed to break free entirely. He'd always ended up being reeled back in, being fed the party lines, being made to feel shame for his independent thinking, until it all becomes too much and he is forced to step back from that freedom he'd been inches away from grasping.

Back and forth, back and forth, never stopping.

And all of this, all of what he is, makes it so hard for us, the audience, to truly see him. To truly grasp him. To truly watch any given scene with him and figure out what he might be thinking or feeling.

To understand Aziraphale is to understand what he is not saying when he says something, which is a good deal harder to do than it is to understand and relate to a character like Crowley, who very much revel in saying exactly whatever the heck he thinks whenever he damn well pleases.

All those layers of obfuscation and misdirection and double thinking that Aziraphale coats himself in are as much an armor that makes it harder for the audience to understand him as they are his very own downfall because, good lord, if you exist like that, if you exist forced to keep things hidden from yourself, well... It's inevitable that at some point you are going to stumble into pitfalls of your own making.

And I love him for it.

So, there? I hope I managed to explain something with this post, and that it wasn't just the rambling of someone who spends way too much time thinking about her blorbos. To be clear, I don't think people who haven't spent as much time as me trying to dissect and better understand Aziraphale's character are like, dumber than me or anything. It's just that this pair of angelic-demonic blorbos take too much real estate in my mind, lol.

Feel free to let me know your opinion and if you think I am wildly off mark and my Take Is Bad. I might answer, I might not, it all depends on time and my mood ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

[ajbullet]

My thoughts on episode 1 and 2 of Percy Jackson and the Olympians: (spoilers)

- The ACCURACY of the little Percy casting was unbelievable. They look identical.

- The SARCASM 🫶🏻👌🏻

- I’ve never been able to connect with Sally Jackson as a mother-figure in the books just because of my own rocky relationship with my mom, but the way she’s played really made me believe in her character and her love for Percy. It gives PERCY’s character more grounding and their relationship really drives the show.

- Sally just sitting in the rain with Olivia Rodrigo playing. Mood.

- “You fell in love…with Jesus?”

- The friction and “betrayal” between Percy and Grover was super interesting to see and I’m really glad they touched on that more than in the books

- I’ve been pronouncing Brunner wrong. Dam.

- Sally saying goodbye to Percy, knowing she was probably going to die 😭. Percy screaming for her.

- the Minotaur fight was awesome

- “YOU DROOL WHEN YOU SLEEP” Omg I can’t believe she said it. Leah’s delivery was different than how I imagined it but I loved it. She’s so matter-of-fact

- Again, I’ve always struggled with connecting with Luke’s character just because I felt like he was a little two-dimensional in the first book and then after that, you know, he’s evil and while I understood his motivations, I just didn’t really…care? Idk but his portrayal really helped me understand the depth of his betrayal and just how heartbreaking his story really is. I already love him more than I’ve allowed myself to from the books

- “She’s my little sister” I love their relationship while it lasts. Seeing how close they are really adds to the layers of both of their characters

- I’ve also been pronouncing Thalia wrong. Double dam.

- THE BLUE CANDY. PERCY BURNING IT NOT TO TALK TO HIS DAD BUT HIS MOM. That scene broke my heart.

- Leah. As. Annabeth. I’m going to be completely honest, Ive loved Leah from everything I’ve seen about her but I was nervous just because of how precious of a character Annabeth Chase has always been to me and I didn’t know if ANYONE, not specifically Leah, could live up to those expectations but omg I love her. Her bluntness. Her facial expressions. Her voice and delivery. Her sure movements and confidence and self-assuredbess that has come from success after success and training for so long. The way she is so unashamed to admit to using Percy and only watching him to see what he could do for HER. In her short amount of screen time so far, Leah was able to add layers to this character I’ve loved for so long that I didn’t even know where there. I never wanted her to leave the screen. My only complaint is that she didn’t have more lines. She is my Annabeth Chase. She’s not from the books. She’s not from the movies. She’s her own version and she stole the show.

- Luke saying Annabeth has a plan and that Percy will know what to do, only for PERCY TO BE FLOSSING AND PEEING AND PETTING GECKOS and trying so hard not to drive himself crazy with his ADHD and having nothing to do. I genuinely laughed out loud. Might be my favorite part.

- the fight scenes are so well choreographed.

- CLARISSE. She’s too pretty. I can’t hate her. And her ELECTRIC SPEAR. When it broke and she screamed, I got chills.

- The trident.

- Annabeth KNOWING Percy was Poseidon’s before anyone else cause she’s “always 6 steps ahead”

- People already keeping such important info from Percy “for his own good”

- “You are Poseidon’s son” “No, I am Sally Jackson’s son!” Might just be my favorite line. It’s so true. She raised him. She sacrificed everything for him. She loved him and cared for him and taught him that he wasn’t broken, he was singular, a miracle. She died so that he could live.

- Sally Jackson is parenting goals

- The way Percy instantly changed his decision to go to the underworld as soon as Grover told him his mom could be saved. Their relationship is unmatched

- Walker Scobell is already pretty well known, but I have a really good feeling his popularity is going to skyrocket after this show. He is such an amazing, dedicated actor. I know exactly what he is felling 100% of the time.

Overall, I absolutely loved it. In two episodes it’s become a comfort show that I can’t wait to continue watching!!

[justpoliteconversations]

Apple Merchant [BOTW!Link x Isekai!Reader] (Part 4)

Link learns some things. And so do you.

Yet another for the ever growing pile of self-indulgent garbage refuse. Enjoy the process of decomposition with me for a while.

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

Alternate Extras: Embrace

Masterlist

TW: Choosing not to display warnings. Read at your own discretion.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Legend of Zelda franchise.

---

The yiga. A faction of Ganon worshipping traitors formerly of the Sheikah clan, whose main objective is to kill the Hero known as Link (in other words, himself). Known for their distinctive red body suits and white masks. And, strangely enough, their love of bananas.

They were also currently at the very top of Link's (until recently non-existent) shit list, because AM had deemed their threat level too great to allow them to meet each other freely. As Blue had told him, AM's profession placed them at greater danger than the average citizen to the assassins' blades. What that profession was, Link was not told (despite his pleading and intense stares and even one memorable attempt to bargain for the information), but it was deemed necessary to maintain distance because of this.

There were plenty of other useful things in the book too. Not a letter or a note or even a small bundle of documents. A book. An honest to Goddess book. Because there was nothing else the ridiculously thick, neatly piled collection of leather bound miscellaneous papers, maps, diagrams, notes and documents could be. It was the thickness of Link's hand for goodness sakes.

Thankfully, Blue had taken mercy on him (and his desire to get moving as soon as possible) and bookmarked the pages and maps that would be most useful to him. All while giving him that bland, graceful smile of hers and explaining that AM was a very proactive information gatherer, but that they didn't always consider that not everyone wanted to know the exact region Sneaky snails bred in or where the highest priced wheat could be found.

Link very deliberately didn't tell her that he did, in fact, find those very interesting topics to learn about (and that he would be reading through the entire book when he got the chance. later). Because he was still stung that she'd given him a condescending little smile (smirk, it was a damned smirk and Link knew it) when he'd tried to bargain with her for more information on AM.

In total, he'd spent three days in Hateno, gathering information (as though the book wasn't enough), gathering supplies (because as many as were in the slate, it didn't have everything a warrior would need to maintain his gear. Blue's words, not his) and getting to know the people around the area.

Also, armor. Costume fitted (Link didn't think too hard about how Blue had gotten his measurements) as to AM's specifications before they'd left town. The order arrived a little later due to his (apparently) small size causing complications with some of the straps.

Honestly, it felt good. It felt familiar with a hazy kind of comfort that spoke of his body's remembrance of such armor resting upon it often. And suddenly, in that moment, the thought that he had once been a knight didn't feel so far off, despite having no memory of it and very little desire to become as such again.

Ready to go (finally) he put on his boots, tightened the straps of his new (fitted. maybe he'd see about getting his Sheikah armor fitted as well if he was in the area) hyrulian armor set, and took one last shot before departing.

"Where can I get more bananas?" Link tried, going for casual but coming off far too intense for it to be anything but prying. "For the Yiga problem."

Blue just smiled (small and condescending, and so frustrating) before replying evenly. "AM has that well in hand I'd imagine." The knowing glint in Blue's eyes put a pout on Link's face. "It's best you focus on your mission, Courageous One." Then she smiled genuinely. Just a bit, but enough to ease Link's heart as she continued. "Fear naught for your beloved AM. No harm shall befall them while my sister haunts their shadow."

Link believed her. And with that little bit of reassurance, the Hero of Hyrule set out into the world once more. With courage in his heart and his goal ever at the forefront of his mind.

Defeat the Calamity guy. Meet AM. Travel this vast, wondrous world with them for the rest of their days. Or, maybe one day settle down more permanently in Hateno and open a food stand.

Anywhere life took them. Whatever you wanted. This was the beginning of his new life after all, and he was so eager to spend it with you.

---

You stared up at the quickly growing pile of bright yellow fruit with something like regret stabbing at your heart. Just thinking about how much rupees you were about to drop on this one purchase alone was enough to put a hitch in your throat. It was enough to have you contemplating a long walk off that equally long (absurdly long) wooden bridge just next to the stable.

When you'd stopped at Lakeside Stable for the night and told Adino you'd pay him market price for any bananas he brought back to you before you left. You hadn't expected him to take that as a challenge. You hadn't expected Skims to get involved in it as well. And you most certainly had not expected Red to show up out of nowhere with a pile rivaling (and maybe even surpassing) Adino's.

And thus, within the span of a few short hours, you were suddenly several thousand rupees poorer (not that that pantry amount even scratched the surface of your accumulated wealth, but you digress) and many, many bananas richer.

At least they tasted good.

"Not that I'm against your presence. But why are you here, Red?" You asked the red clad woman after (with a heavy heart) passing out everyone's pay for the bananas they'd brought you. (Skims and Red didn't even have the grace to look ashamed for muscling in on the quick profit either, the jerks.)

She didn't even pause from where she'd been fingering through her newly acquired (ill gotten) gains when she hummed playfully. "Oh. Gran thought it'd be wise to send along a little extra protection to ensure The Hero's benefactor remained unmolested during these most crucial of times."

The look on your face must have been confused enough to spur Red to explain. "Gran told us to keep you in the dark about our motivations, but I like you. So I'll tell you the truth, since you seem like the reasonable sort." She finally put the rupees down and turned to face you, eyes hardening into a serious shade of near black as she explained.

"The Hero is without his memory, and until recently, was without motivation to see his mission through with the urgency it requires. Had he been as he was before, just the mention of the Princess would have been enough to send the guy running, if you believe the rambling of nostalgic old gossip crows." Her lips twisted into something too complicated to decipher before it was neutral again.

"But he's not the man he used to be. He's not the princess's knight anymore for all his destiny would push him to be. And so, he needed a new motivation to get him moving." She gave you a smile, but it wasn't a nice one (it was one full of spite and pity, though only the pitying part was directed at you). "That's you. The guy loves you already. Call it situational stockholm or just that damned knightly instincts of his, but you are the apple of his eye." She tried to soften her smile into something humorous, but it fell short.

"Bottom line. You're the replacement motivation. Just until he gets enough of his memories back to get invested in the Princess' wellbeing." She flicked a rupee off the stump she'd gathered them on, expression very closed off as she continued.

"Whenever Mr. hero gets a little too comfortable playing house, we're supposed to dangle you in his face and get him interested again. That you seem invested in his success was just a bonus. Be it the Will of Hylia or just simple coincidence, doesn't matter. You're useful, and if it gets the Princess out of that Hell, we're willing to use that."

Another smile, sharp but honest. "It's our duty after all, to serve the royal family. I'm sure you understand." Despite the way the information settled sourly in your stomach you nodded, keeping your expression as even as possible.

She noticed though, and suddenly her hand was on yours (you hadn't noticed it tightening into a fist). "Don't fret, Apples." She smiled again, softer this time. Eyes lighted with a compassion that held such raw honesty despite her earlier words. "My sister and I are not going to let the elders use you like that. You might have asked yourself why Bluey isn't here instead, since, you know-" She smirked, side-eyeing Adino who'd gone some distance off to try to find more bananas (to take more of your rupees, the little bastard).

"We will fulfill our duties. For the protection of Hyrule and everything we love. But not at your's or your dear Hero's expense. At least, not like that. You see, Bluey has something I do not, and that is a gentle touch. She'll take care of the Hero in the way he needs, not the way that'll get the fastest results." Her smirk widened. "And she's got more of a rebellious streak than me too. Trust in her. She'll protect your dear Hero. Even if she has to spit in the elders' eyes to do it. She never could put her heart aside for the sake of duty."

You were silent for a time, digesting her words with the weight and attention they deserved, before looking back to her. A smile on your lips, and your hand out before her in the gesture of a shake.

"I look forward to doing business with you then, Red." You began, letting the edge of your resolve sharpen your eyes and embolden your words. "Let's do our best to protect Link and save Zelda. We'll give it everything we've got."

Red grinned, full and bright and smug (so unbearably smug, like she had won the lottery. which they didn't have here, and you were not interested in introducing any time soon either). "I knew you were gonna understand. The Goddess wouldn't choose just anyone to guard her chosen's heart."

You blinked. "What?"

Red picked up another rupee, flicking it at you. "What~?"

---

Now, off to work! And then the shadows to rest.

[mysterycitrus]

I know a lot of ppl ask u abt jason or dick but im wondering now, what do u think about bruce? I find him a very interesting character whose characterization is incredibly feeble, both bc of his 80 years of history and the tendency writers have to project their own male fantasies on him. So i'd definitely love to hear ur own thoughts about him. I personally enjoy depicting him as someone morally grey, although my sympatization for him changes day to day. Wether you think he is a good or a bad person, i believe u need to make him dedicated to gotham and the bat as a symbol, and that comes with all its advantages and drawbacks

bruce wayne is sooooo interesting (derogatory) because like u said, he carries the baggage of every masochismo author that decided batman was too woke and should hurt his kids and that supporting gotham’s infrastructure is for pussies. there’s also the flipside of that, where he’s the perfect father who’s waaaay too emotionally regulated for my taste. both of these interpretations are bad imo, and both functionally miss the point.

i think part of this (in fandom) is an obsession with moral angst — u can either be a good person doing good things, or a bad person doing bad things. think about how some characters are crucified while others are babied. someone always has to be absolutely right, and the other has to be absolutely wrong.

in reality, there are a lot of people who are fundamentally kind and fundamentally want to do good that are really terrible to the people in their lives. bruce wayne being someone who relies on having so much control that it implodes his connections to the people around him is an important part of his character. his profound love for his children, for gotham and her people, for humanity in general and his belief in peoples ability to change, doesn’t circumvent the fact that he’s often an emotionally abusive man who hurts others to achieve his own ends. he contains multitudes.

writing him as a functionally irredeemable, violently abusive person is the anti-thesis to the symbol that he himself created. no, i personally don’t believe he actively beats his kids (even though it’s supported in the text). no, i don’t think he’s an irredeemable sadist (as much as frank miller wants u to believe otherwise). to have people like dick grayson and diana and clark and dinah love and believe in u means that there has to be something there worth caring about, otherwise the whole universe is gonna fall apart.

that’s what makes his relationship to cass so interesting — he sees his neuroticism, his dedication to the cause above all else, and does not find it admirable. he finds it confronting and upsetting. and to be clear, cass (like dick) is very much the moral ideal of what batman should be, but still bruce finds it hard to deal with!!

his abject failures — his treatment of the robins, his crippling guilt about jason, his fears of becoming a killer, the impossible load he gives himself to carry — means that when he’s shown as someone who genuinely cares, it makes him more complex. like yeah, bruce isn’t actually a cold hearted person. he really really gives a shit. too many shits, to be totally honest. he’s a morally grey person that wants to do good, but is so terrified of losing control that he keeps others away and hurts them in the process. there’s a reason why his emotional crutch was a traumatised eight year old fr. nothing is more important than the mission, including bruce wayne himself

[winniethewife]

I laugh like me again, she laughs like you (Moon Knight System x F!reader)

Warnings: Presumed!dead character, Reader romantically involved with Jake, Marc and Steven are featured, Mother!reader, Single mom, Angst,

Words: 634

She would never expected to have to do this alone. Just as she thought she wouldn’t do many other things alone. Witnessing her Daughters first steps, Her daughters first doctors appointment, the first time she got really sick, the first time she made a friend, her first move, all the way to London. She wasn’t expecting to be alone for her child’s first…everything. And now as she drives down the street she looks at the little girl with dark curls and brown eyes sitting in her booster seat as she looked out the window eagerly.

“Celesia?” She called her daughter’s name and the little girl looked over at her, the gaze in the rearview mirror reminded her so much of the girl’s father.

~

Jake Lockley was a rascal, but he loved her, and for some reason she loved him back. Despite the complications, Despite Marc living his life how he wished, taking her Jake wherever that was, with whoever that was. She had managed to form a friendship with Marc, which didn’t make it any easier, because she started to care a whole lot, a bad habit of hers. At some point they moved in together, a lovely thing to have with Jake, an interesting time with Marc. So when Marc teamed up with Bushman, she had advised against it. It seemed like a really bad idea, it wasn’t that she just wanted to keep Jake with her, it wasn’t the fact that she would have to find another roommate, she was genuinely worried about Marc. So of course when Marc had already been too stubborn and had shipped off, It was time to get a positive pregnancy test, because the universe finds that shit funny.

~

“Yes Mommy?” Her daughter’s voice brought her back to the present.

“You ready for your first day at school?” She asked, trying to sound excited. The little girl nodded enthusiastically, giving her mom two thumbs up. Which she glanced in the mirror. “Remember baby, I can’t look at you when I’m driving so I need you to use your words.” She reminded the eager five year old.

“Right, Sorry Mommy. I am really excited! I can’t wait to make friends and learn things and-” The young girl continued to ramble, causing her mother to smile warmly. So many things reminded her of Jake, and Marc.

~

She sat tears streaming down her face as she read over the letter, all that was found of Marc Spector was some of his belongings in a bloodied temple in egypt, presumed dead, and seeing as everyone else on the expedition was dead that was a good assumption. But she was three months pregnant and currently trying to figure out what the hell she was going to do without her best friend and the father of her baby who, unfortunately in this case, inhabit the same body. She wasn’t sure how the hell she was supposed to do all this alone. Where to even start. But she didn’t have a choice now.

~

The whole day she kept checking her phone during work, just in case she missed a call from the school or a message from Celesia’s teacher, but there was nothing. At the end of the day she rushed to pick her up from school, and then they went to the store after. As the two of them puzzled over which kind of sweets to buy that week, she was surprised when a man ran into her.

“Oh, Sorry! That was entirely my fault there. So sorry.” The voice was too familiar, wrong accent, right voice.

“Jake?” She turned to look at the man, messy head of curls, Dark Brown eyes. The man looked confused. “Marc?’ She asked, maybe too hopeful.

“Sorry, Er I’m Steven, With a V.”

~

Masterlist

Taglist; : @silvernight-m @queerponcho @boredzillenial

A/N: Middle of the night angst? Happens more often than you think.

[kurogane2512]

this is a weird request but how would you favourite characters in any game(S) react to your death ? Just genuinely curious LOL

Ooh very interesting. I know some will react more intensely than others, while some would have that "silent but internally dying" reaction. I also believe the reactions would differ depending on the method of death. Here's what I could categorize~

HEAVY ANGST AHEAD WITH TW THEMES

Ok so I think it's obvious that Signora would have the most devastating reaction and I hate to imagine that oh god 😭😭 To have this happen a second time would surely destroy her, even worse if it's similar to the previous experience where she was too late to save her love. I think.... I think she will not want to live anymore and would kill herself 😭 Nothing matters now, there's nothing that can give her hope anymore, be it Tsaritsa or whatever she doesn't care anymore....

Another one to have a devastating reaction would be Chameleon I feel. It's the pattern of already having lost closed loved ones before, I know these people would breakdown. We already know how far Chameleon went to seek revenge for her parents' death, if you are killed by someone else then she will not hold back at all... If it's more on the line of natural causes then she'd pretend to be fine but she's clearly out of it for a long time...

Ningguang's reaction would be similar to when the Jade Chamber was destroyed. She has a position and status to maintain so she'd do her utmost to appear fine on the outside, she'd process the death so much and try to console herself until she reaches her breaking point and loudly cries in her room. She'd look over all the gifts she ever bought for you and would hold them close to her heart and cry out more, but in the end she knows she has to bounce back soon...

Lisa would be angry, surprisingly. She's another one to hide her true emotions at first, others like Jean and Kaeya may try to comfort her and she always acts her usual flirty self. I imagine when she first got the news of your death, she was so angry and hurt that purple sparks fly around her as she'd look down and hide her face with her hat. She curses herself for not being there to save you, all this knowledge and power she has becomes useless if she couldn't even save you...

Cabernet would have a very.... twisted reaction, to say the least. I know she would be sad, but for a different reason. It's the fact that she can't have your soul anymore. If she finds you in a dying state then she'd definitely take your soul and preserve it for as long as she wants, it's the biggest temptation she'd hold back. She'll only eat your preserved soul as her last meal, to have you as the last taste on her tongue and both of you die together. If she's unable to preserve your soul then she might even try to get into some resurrection stuff just to extract your soul at least....

Cocolia would have 2 different reactions. If she's affected by the Stellaron then she'd honor your sacrifice and try to achieve her goal even more, using your death as a motivator. If it's normal Supreme Guardian Cocolia then she'd be similar to Ningguang, appearing strong and balanced on the outside but breaking down in private. She'd look over your memories together and promise to fulfill all that you wanted for Belobog....

Himeko would become reserved and detached for a while. She'd continue doing her duties like normal, but it's easy to tell her mind is diverted and there's nothing much that can be done. She'd feel very lonely once again, she'd look over the stars and think of you all the time. She may lose interest in her hobbies since she got so used to doing them with you, she'd silently cry in private a lot...

Eirene would be pretty indifferent. Yes, she did love you a lot that was never a lie. But she has bigger goals, she had hoped to accomplish them with you but she will now continue on her own. She will do it for you too, she won't cry but she will promise to do everything you wanted. If you were killed by a rival of hers then she'll be merciless, she will have revenge and destroy them for sure. She will never let your death become her weakness.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

your ghoul fics have me in a fuckin chokehold 😭😩 there's nothing i love more in life than a scary sexy man w questionable morals

not to be horny in anon but like... imagine the reader, after having been traveling together for a while, being an insufferable brat for a couple days, just tap dancing on coop's last nerve- but he's not gonna get rid of you, he's seen you in action, despite his lone-ranger status, you're too useful. too skilled. too good at surviving in the wasteland as a vaultie for this not to have been destined. at least that's what he tells himself to avoid facing the fact that, well, poor bastard caught feelings. basically this is a long winded way of me saying boot riding as punishment, cause the man deserves a free polish 😶

Grunt Work

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Vault Dweller Reader

Word Count: 3,920

Warnings: smut (18+), BDSM-style dynamics, boot riding, masturbation (male), begging, mild hair pulling, mild cum play, Cooper is a softie (but a pissed off softie).

Notes: Anon, I wish you would've been here to see me read this request for the first time. I think a small part of my brain exploded. How did this become 4,000 words? It may have turned out softer than you envisioned (not the first time I've given that preface/apology and it certainly won't be the last; The Ghoul is soft deep inside and you cannot tell me otherwise!), and if so, I hope you still enjoy. Thank you for reading!

Every day with this girl was an exercise in self-restraint.

Granted, the type of self-restraint varied greatly from day to day, hour to hour. From the moment he had agreed to do business with the vaultie, she'd been testing his patience, his boundaries, his sense of what was normal.

Generally, he quite liked it. It was actually endlessly refreshing, he found, to spend time with someone who treated him like he was human, who he felt comfortable enough to actually relax a bit around. Someone who still had some sunshine left in them. Slowly, agonizingly so, they'd developed a bit of a rapport, then a genuine trust, which had eventually (and somewhat recently, given the scope of all the months they'd been traveling together) bloomed into more. What you'd call that "more", he wasn't really certain.

It had been the first time he'd allowed himself any sort of dalliance in that area since he'd divorced Barb all those years ago, and it had been both amazing and heartbreaking. Establishing that new attachment with his little vaultie had been the first time in lifetimes that he truly felt connected to his humanity, the way she'd kissed him and clung to him and sighed his name just like one would with any normal man.

He really had forgotten how wonderful it could be to be with someone, to let them get as close as they possibly could, even though he looked the way he did, acted the way he did, and refused to take off anything besides his duster, his gloves, and his hat.

He knew, deep down somewhere, that she wouldn't reject him simply for what his body looked like. Not at this point. Unfortunately, her feelings about his body didn't really change his feelings about his body. Still, getting to feel her and hold her close had been even better than he'd imagined.

But that new moment of connection, that next and first step, also meant he was fully closing the door on his time with Barb; he'd always been faithful to her, even after they'd split, since he'd really had no interest in dating again in the time after the paperwork was finalized. Then the world had ended and wasn't even a thought in his mind for ages. It had taken him months to even see the advances the girl had been making towards him, months more to reciprocate them.

As asinine as it would seem, becoming this close, actually giving himself to someone else physically and emotionally, made his two-centuries old divorce finally feel real. His ex-wife could still well be out there somewhere, as far as he knew, but they'd never be together again, even if by some wild chance they were reunited. Those special feelings he'd once held so deeply for her were no more.

When his companion had finally fallen asleep that night, tucked naked and warm against his side and wrapped in the tail of his duster, he had shed a few tears, something he genuinely didn't believe he was still capable of.

She didn't seem to be sleeping as deeply as she typically did that night, but if she'd overheard his incredibly vulnerable moment, she never let on or brought it up, and he was endlessly grateful for it.

Maybe he was just growing soft with old age.

She was also quite the burgeoning Wastelander, a shockingly good scavenger with a sharp eye for value and utility, small enough to fit in places that he couldn't, her little hands quick at hacking terminals and picking locks. But, despite her small size, she was quite strong, able to handle herself far better in most fights than he'd ever expected a vault-dweller to be capable of. He didn't necessarily need to watch over her every single second, but the urge persisted, nevertheless. Seeing her safe, seeing her happy, those things gave him a strange sense of inner peace that he hadn't felt in ages. It had become second nature to hover around her.

Besides, as of late, keeping an eye on her every second seemed to be his best bet to stay alive. He was genuinely unsure if his girl (Was that what she was?) had been dealing with an especially bad streak of luck over the last week, or what, but she was rapidly grating on his nerves much more usual.

First, she had managed to nose her way into a yao guai den and set the thing off chasing her, resulting in him taking a pretty nasty swipe to the side before they could put it down, several foot-long tears in his already worse-for-wear coat. However, she'd apologized profusely, spent a few hours that night mending and patching up his coat. He found it impossible to stay mad at her through either.

Then, she'd done the exact same thing a few days later, but with a pack of nightstalkers. He'd nearly lost a finger helping her fight them off, the shitty little things infinitely more tough than one might expect. After that, she was officially no longer in charge of picking where they slept, an arrangement he hadn't been fully aware he'd entered into until he'd had to put his foot down about it. Whatever, she'd pouted a bit and insisted it wasn't her fault. He didn't love how little she spoke to him when she was pouting, and her resolve for keeping at such things was irritatingly strong, but what bothered him more was how well it worked.

Eventually, he'd apologized for snapping at her. That night, she chose where they slept. He tried to not think too long on why he'd let her.

He didn't fully understand why he found himself acting this way around her, and only her. All he knew for sure was that he'd be devastated to lose her, as chagrined as the admission made him, and so he did his best to make things pleasant to keep her around.

What she'd pulled today, however, had managed to officially piss him off.

After a long week of iffy sleep and more scrapes with wildlife and fiends than usual, they had both been a tad testy by the time they'd reached the shabby little trading outpost at the edge of the Wastes, one of the last places you could reliably stop for clean water and supplies in this section of the desert going the way they'd come from. It was also a reliable place for him to obtain vials, and had come in handy to a life-saving degree more than once.

The girl had gotten slick-mouthed with the proprietor over the price of some fancy machine parts she'd scrounged up, insisting that they were worth far more than he was offering her. Granted, she was right; the man was attempting to swindle her, to some degree, but frankly, the damn things were cumbersome and heavy and he wouldn't even call the price she could theoretically get for them worth hauling them around in the heat. If it were him, he wouldn't have dragged them all this way, and would certainly ditch them now.

For reasons he couldn't fathom, though, her solution to the man offhandedly threatening to just keep the damn things had been to pull her pistol on him, which, of course, had set off an entire chain of unnecessary events. The owner's gun had come out, as well, then Cooper's, despite him actually trying to talk the situation down for once.

The man wouldn't relent, however, and he had been forced to shoot his hand off to end the conflict without her blood being spilled. Well, maybe not completely forced, but it certainly felt that way at the time. That particular trading outpost had been incredibly useful to him for well over a decade, and now he wouldn't be able to return.

If it had been anyone else, he probably would have shot them.

Not probably. He would have shot them.

But instead, here he was, tucked into a creaky old UV-eaten lawn chair, smoking and trying to disguise how unsettlingly happy he was to finally have some safe alone time with her beneath his annoyance at being inconvenienced. If there was one thing he hated, it was being inconvenienced. But, if there was one thing he greatly enjoyed, it was her company, so he was at a bit of an impasse.

It was moments like this where he wondered if he'd finally poisoned his brain with too much Jet or any other number of substances, the haze that consumed him every moment around her thick. Even now, when he was angrier with her than he'd ever been at any point in their travels, he couldn't focus on his legitimate grievance because he wanted her so badly. It was the single most irksome thing he'd ever experienced.

She was quickly sniffing out this weakness of his, perceptive little minx that she was. Increasingly, she was quick to soothe his bad moods with little touches and kisses, and it made him melt embarrassingly every single time. He'd been livid and silent as they'd trudged away from the building, both of them covered in rapidly-cooling blood spatter, when she'd brushed her hand along his back softly; a sort of apology, he supposed. Since then, his main source of anger had been himself and his lack of resolve when it came to this particular woman.

The old cowboy was determined to teach her a lesson today, though.

He'd spent the better part of an hour checking their perimeter once they'd come across this place, and the little sniper's nest where they were holed up had a great view of the area. It certainly wasn't much, little more than a rusty metal panel jammed between some rocks, a mattress, a chair, and a radio. But for the first time in a few weeks, things were safe, quiet, and calm. They had plenty of rations between the two of them, and water wasn't as much of a concern as it had been on their way in. She was so comfortable that she'd actually shed her boots and socks, her dainty little feet curled up underneath her as she nibbled away at something under the ramshackle "roof".

Now was the time. He just had to wait for the opportunity.

"You've been quiet since we left the traders." she said after a while of companionable, though mildly terse, silence. It wasn't a question, but at the same time very much was, and the casual, roundabout way she was addressing what was her own actions made him scowl slightly.

"You've been a pain in my ass these last few days, sugar." he said flatly, glaring at her as best as he could from under the brim of his hat. "Should be happy I've just been quiet now."

She actually rolled her eyes slightly, but clearly didn't think he'd seen it, keeping silent as she continued to eat. Increasingly bold for someone within grabbing distance. Cooper let a few seconds pass, studying her.

"Y'know, when I was in the marines, if you were a little shitheel, they'd make you do grunt work." he said eventually, voice matter-of-fact.

She pursed her lips at that, finishing up the can of beans she'd been steadily tucking into.

"I don't think I know what that is." she replied almost absentmindedly.

"It's the shit work no one ever wanted to do, so being assigned to it was intended as a punishment. Scrubbin' floors, toilets. Peelin' potatoes. Polishin' boots."

She chuckled at his anecdote as if it were meant to be entertaining, but the way he let her laugh hang in the silence, staring her down as she sat there curled up beside him, said otherwise. After a moment, she sort of narrowed her eyes at him, her tone low, almost conspiratory, when she asked:

"What're you playing at, cowboy?"

"I'm sayin' you're in trouble, cowgirl." he replied, reaching out to hold her chin solidly in his grip and watching her pout. "I'm sayin' that I think a little grunt work would do you and that attitude of yours some good, and I'm sayin' that I think you should polish my boots."

"Polish your boots?" she repeated, wrapping her tongue around each of the words like they were foreign to her.

"Pretty sure there ain't a functioning toilet within a hundred miles of where we're sitting, and I ain't got any potatoes. So…"

"You can't be serious." she said, her eyes full of curious suspicion as she looked him up and down.

Releasing her chin, the old ghoul set to removing his gloves, tugging his second hand free and using his naked pointer finger to draw a little 'x' over his heart.

"Serious as the grave, darlin'."

There were a few pregnant seconds of them staring one another down, waiting for the other to bend, to flinch. She even lifted her chin towards him, just enough for him to pick up on, an unspoken challenge. God, she was so like him.

"Now…be good and take your clothes off." he smirked, brows raising when she made to argue in response. Her lips worked their way between her teeth as she hesitated before slowly dropping all her armor from her arms and torso, then drawing the dirty shirt underneath over her head.

"Is that better, Coop?" she asked, letting her hair down out of the knot she'd tied it up into on top of her head, the strands framing her face as she worked him over again with those eyes of hers. Pulling herself up into a standing position, he did his best to ignore the way her bare breasts moved and dipped with gravity.

"Mmm. I think it would be more fittin' if you called me 'sir', frankly."

"You cannot be serious!" she insisted again, indignant as she slid the zipper on her trousers down, her tone making him chuckle despite himself. She just didn't know when to quit, and it was fucking adorable.

"Am I ever unserious?" he asked, ignoring the look she shot him back in favor of watching her slowly work the worn pants down over the curve of her ass, dropping them into a pile around her feet and leaving her standing there as naked as the day she was born. He felt his already-stiffening cock twitch slightly, resisting the urge to rub himself through the faded pinstripes of his pants. This was supposed to be a punishment for her, and doing that would give her too much opportunity to distract him.

"Aww, c'mon, boss." she sighed, pressing at a hidden button of his, cocking her head and sending that silky curtain around her face glinting in the light.

"I mean it, missy. You fucked up pretty bad today, and you need to be punished for it. And what did I just say?" he responded, fighting hard to keep his voice even and body still.

"Well…what else would you have in mind as a punishment, sir?" she purred as she stepped back towards him, batting those long, dark lashes his way. He managed to keep his eyes on hers and off of her body, a task that felt herculean as the ache in his gut grew more intense. For a split second, he wanted to give in to her, to pin her to the ground and fuck the attitude out of her like he'd wanted to for days. But there would be plenty of time for that later.

"I promise you that if you knew your other options, darlin', you'd choose this." he replied, finishing his smoke and tossing the butt away. Digging his inhaler out for a quick puff, he finally removed his hat and set it aside, reclining just enough to allow his feet to stick out a few inches in front of him.

She huffed at her little ploy failing to work, crossing her arms and cocking her hip slightly. Cooper's teeth dug into the inside of his cheek to keep back a grin.

"Well, are you gonna take them off?" she demanded.

He couldn't hold back his smirk at that, his head cocking as he continued to stare her down.

"Just how long are you gonna keep playin' dumb? You know it's gonna get cold when it gets dark."

Studying her face, he could see the faint lines of confusion there, and wondered if maybe she really didn't know what he meant.

"There's a reason I wanted you naked, honey, and it ain't just the view."

Though it certainly didn't hurt.

It took a few long, long seconds of her looking him up and down, wondering, but eventually the glow of realization lit up her face, followed by more brow furrowed confusion.

"How would that even work?" she asked, though her tone was more curious than argumentative.

"I suppose you'll figure it out, huh? Askin' an awful lot of questions for someone who's about to be freezin' their twat off in about half an hour." he said, watching with apparent glee as she fidgeted in place, pulling another cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it.

Still attempting to make a stand, she didn't move, chewing away at that bottom lip as she hesitated there. He could smell that she was already turned on.

"Go on. Get to work." he ordered softly, exhaling smoke through his nose, staring into her eyes.

After a heartbeat, she seemed to accept her fate and slowly lowered herself down onto her knees in front of him. That, too, made his cock jump. Her cheeks had a visible rosy hue as she clearly struggled to arch herself at the right angle to make proper contact; after a few long seconds of her huffy sighs, he took mercy on her and tilted the toe of his boot more skyward, allowing her to begin to rub herself back and forth across the dusty leather in earnest.

He watched as her face slowly morphed from mildly confused concentration to blossoming arousal, the tint in her cheeks growing until it consumed her entire face.

"How does it feel?" he asked quietly, taking another long drag off of his smoke.

"It feels good." she huffed, a light sheen of sweat glinting on her soft skin.

He reached out and grabbed a fistful of her hair at that, squeezing just enough to make her gasp, her eyes flying open to gaze up at him, wide and wet.

"Feels good what?" he demanded. "Given you an awful lot of chances on that, kid. Y'know, insubordination usually calls for more severe punishment."

"It feels good, sir." she replied, her hips stuttering slightly as she struggled to move them with her head fixed in place, her eyes falling shut again. He found it a little surprising that the mild pain hadn't stopped her or made her complain more. If anything, she'd seemed to like it. He took note of that for later.

"Tsk. Well, it's supposed to be a punishment, but I guess I can't help it if a little freak like you gets off on polishin' my boots. Guess I did know a guy in the service who really liked bein' made to scrub the floor, but, between you and me, I think he might've had a little thing for bein' pushed around and told what to do." Cooper's voice fell to a secretive murmur as he spoke to her, watching her eyes dart away as he teased her.

However, as he watched her slide herself back and forth across his foot, he found it more and more difficult to resist the urge to touch himself. When her eyes didn't open for several minutes, focused entirely on the sensation, it would seem, he took the opportunity to palm his cock, his hips eventually beginning to rock against his hand. That movement caught her attention, her gaze burning into him as she watched; this was a button of hers for whatever reason. Feeling emboldened and somewhat sure that she was too distracted to cause trouble, he quickly undid his belt and fly and tugged his erection free, a shiver running down his spine as he gave himself a few experimental pumps in the cooling air.

Unfortunately, he'd underestimated how coherent she still was, her head remaining low, but her right hand creeping up his leg towards his hand. He jerked his chin towards her, sending her jumping back a bit. However, she didn't look fearful, more chastened.

"Don't. You. Fuckin'. Dare." he growled, his hand not stilling for a moment. "If you touch me, I'm gonna put you over my knee and spank your little ass until you can't sit right for a week."

His threats only seemed to make her hotter, a throaty moan leaving her as she began to hump his boot with increased speed, all attempts at preserving any semblance of her dignity abandoned in the pursuit of her orgasm. The grip he was maintaining on himself tightened, and a growl ripped out of his chest in response as he fought to keep his eyes open and on her. If he could still sweat, he'd be pouring it just like her.

Cooper's leg jerked involuntarily as a particularly strong wave of pleasure shot up his spine, digging the toe of his boot harder into her weeping little slit, and she keened in response, her body beginning to twitch all over like it did when she was nearing her end.

"You close, honey? You wanna cum?" he asked feverishly, rapidly sprinting towards his own finish line.

She nodded rapidly, her breasts heaving with her strained breath as her nails dug into his thigh.

"Please, please, please..." she breathed over and over.

"Look at you, just cleaned the thing and you're about to make a mess all over it because you're such a needy little slut." he chastised, breaking down into a harsh whisper as he seized her by her hair once more, his cig hanging loosely from his lips. "Go on, baby. Cum all over my boot."

The labored whine she let out as she lost herself all over him, and the blissful way her face contorted as she cried out, was more than enough to finish him off, his release spurting all over his hand and stomach. They both growled and groaned their way through their shared release, her collapsing against the inside of his leg as she panted heavily. Working to control his own breathing, he let his head fall completely back with a blunted "thud" against the frame of the chair, releasing his grip on her head.

After a few quiet moments, they both rather sheepishly peeked at one another. He held his spend-covered hand up in front of her face, the mess catching the fading light as he reached out towards her.

"You're gonna have to clean that up, too." he said softly, rubbing some of the slickness across her lips, barely holding back a groan when the little pink tip of her tongue darted out to lap at his fingers as they passed by.

"Mmm. Yes, sir." she responded, gently laying her temple against the side of his knee, those big, round eyes slowly slipping shut. Cooper reached out and laid his palm against her head, petting her now-rumpled hair with more affection than he'd like to admit, admiring her in the golden-red hue of the evening sun.

"Don't get too comfy there, sweetheart." he said after a few quiet moments, his cock beginning to stir again. "Don't forget, I've got another boot."

[meistwentyinchheels]

having many thoughts about percy (he drives me insane) idk what the kf devs put into this man, but i swear i'm addicted. like the more i learn about him the more obsessed i become,,,i think i'm mentally ill

anyways since i think a lot about him (and my kf mc, may. might actually drop a lore post on her at some point) i will now be sharing some of those thoughts. also have a strong feeling this post is gonna end up pretty long just as a heads up lmfao

also a lot of this is just speculation on my part and me trying my best to analyze the little amount of information we have as of the moment. just as a disclaimer, anyways!

out of the three love interests i genuinely think percy might be the angstiest route for the following reasons (under the cut):

like first off, the devs have mentioned in the past that one of the routes will have a forced breakup to serve the greater narrative (this was mentioned a really long time ago tho so it might've been subject to change, but since we have nothing that proves otherwise i am running with it.) and i do not believe in any way that it could be elio,,,unless the devs decide to throw us a curveball lmao jamie is still an option and he was my first thought when i found out about the breakup route, butttt i doubt it'd be him. so from process of elimination that only leaves percy. he's also the only one out of the lis that has been in relationships before and judging from past asks i'm assumingggg that those past experiences most likely still affect him.

second, every single mention of his family has been vague at best and there's been ZERO mention of his mother. in the asks only his dad has ever been mentioned and also in the studying event if u go off with percy and elio, go to check out the polo club and choose to stay back with percy he'll mention that he moved to the states with his dad. normally people would mention both parents, but percy didn't so it's likely his parents divorced at some point? also i had a whole ass supposedly sound argument here, but it got disproven bc apparently his step-dad also came with them to the states??? like yes it does still prove that his parents r divorced, but it can also imply he has 2 dads. that's so funny i love it. okay moving onto my actual point!!! since percy is a child of divorce it's likely also affected his view of love and romantic relationships. possibly in a skewed way, but who knows so that does add to the angst factor QUITE a bit

finally, percy's avoidant and deferring nature. during the festival event if you split up and then go to check out the festival games you end up running into percy, which is when the game tells you that he tends to defer to what others want and seems to be perkier exploring the games by himself. there's also a few occasions in-game where if the mc tries to ask percy about himself he tends to either A. brush the topic off or B. push the attention onto someone else (usually elio?). so i'd assume that he dislikes talking about himself? which would mean it would take him a good while to open up. which isn't inherently a bad thing, but it can also cause communication issues so. sigh.

is this flimsy evidence? yes! but do i care? no! also i would do a deeper dive into this if i was actually good at analyzing character behaviors,,,and if not for the fact that at the time i'm writing this it's 1am on a school night. there's also so many other things i could have talked about!!! like his name!!! maybe some other day. so like. do with all this information what you will. bc i certainly will!!! i have so many ideas!! many angsty notes!!! be prepared.

[the-head-ancho-chilli]

The Hashira and their Sense of Humor

Apologies for the hiatus! A lot has happened over the last couple of months and I'm finally getting some of them (somewhat) resolved through therapy and A LOT of patience with myself. So here's a post that I written back in October that brings me so much joy! Thank you all for your patience ^^

Word count: 2k~

Mitsuri Kanroji

You know those types of people who want to tell you a really funny story but they need to stop laughing first?

And they've been laughing for the past fifteen minutes?

Yeah that's Mitsuri

I'm not entirely sure what to categorize this either than comedic storytelling

She could probably be a standup comedian too, she has some good stories to tell

But Mitsuri is really in her element when when someone else is telling a mildly amusing story

She will just keep adding onto it to somehow make it even more funnier than it was originally intended

Misturi could make an inside joke between you guys too, she is the designated funny friend of the Hashira

I also feel like she sometimes makes self-deprecating jokes, but not on any serious topics

Like she enjoys poking fun at the fact that she's still single

For an example, Mitsuri and Shinobu could be making an order at a restaurant for lunch

By the time Mitsuri finishes her first round of food and hands the dishes to the waiter, she accidentally drops them causing all the plates and bowls to shatter all over the floor

She tries to help clean up but the staff insists that she shouldn't worry about it

Sitting back down with Shinobu, cheeks red from embarrassment, Mitsuri will crack an awkward smile and say "Yeah, this is why I'm still single!"

Obanai Iguro

Obanai is the most sarcastic motherfucker on this list

I feel like his number one policy is "Don't ask me stupid questions"

He's already annoyed like 70% of the time, just don't annoy him even more

But then again...

"Hey Obanai, did you lose this?" "No I was just playing hide and seek with an inanimate object for fun, YES I fucking dropped it"

"You look really tired, are you doing okay?" "Hell yeah, nothing says healthy like eye bags as dark as my hair"

"Can I pet your snake?" "Yeah you just gotta let him nibble you first but don't worry, he's only venomous"

Usually he's kinda rude about it but he does have his nice moments

"Hey Obanai, can you pass me that?" Obanai will just say no but hand and just hand it to you anyways

Some people just don't understand sarcasm all the time and that's when he kinda runs into some trouble

Obanai and Kyojuro were walking to a meeting together, but Obanai had forgotten his jacket AND haori

It was quite chilly outside too, so poor Obanai was shivering while trying to keep Kaburamaru warm

Kyojuro asked Obanai "My friend, winter is coming! Aren't you cold?"

Obanai deadpanned and said "Of course not, I'm just practicing my acting. Glad to see that my shivering is that convincing"

"How interesting! Maybe you should audition for a play at the theatre!"

Obanai's annoyance kept him warm for the rest of the day

Tengen Uzui

Quite an obvious statement, but Tengen’s humor mainly comprises of sex jokes and innuendos

The man has three wives, of course he would find that shit funny

Like he will be in the middle of a meeting, and everyone will line up to receive some gifts from Kagaya

He will say "Come in a straight line, my students"

Tengen will chuckle and say "That's what she said"

Tengen is also the type to be "gay with the homies" and loves to embarrass Sanemi and Obanai by making jokes about being in love or hooking up with them

He chooses specifically those two because it felt awkward to make the jokes to Gyomei

Tengen once spent forty-five minutes explaining to Kyojuro that he didn't actually want to buy him dinner after Kyojuro gave him a genuinely offended look to the highest degree

"How deceitful of you, Tengen"

He pretty much wrote off saying jokes like that to Kyojuro following that incident, but he really can't help himself sometimes

I don't think that Tengen solely has generic innuendos he uses on everyone, he likes testing what SPECIFIC category of sex jokes makes people uncomfortable

Like if Giyu goes to the bathroom, Tengen will saunter up with a finger gun on his chin and ask "Pissing all by yourself, handsome?"

Everyone is throwing their shoes at him

Sanemi Shinazugawa

Of course this sadistic bastard likes slapstick, what we’re you thinking?

He may be good at holding in a laugh, but you can still see that stupid smirk on his face if anyone stumbles

One time Tengen's six foot ass fell face first while running late to a meeting

Sanemi actually struggled to keep his composure that day, he had to bite his lips together to hide the uncontrollable grin on his face

People getting smacked upside the head, tripping others, people getting violently angry, Sanemi loves it all

He refuses to admit that Zenitsu is funny

Now a regular civilian is one thing, but children getting roughed up is another

there was a particular incident where Sanemi had come across some kids swinging on a tree branch near a market he occasionally visited

This week ass branch definitely didn't have the strength to hold up any of those kids

So Sanemi did what any sane person would, and stuck around to watch this disaster happen

Well unfortunately for this one child, the branch snapped mid-swing and fell right on their face

And there was Sanemi, a hand over his stomach from laughing at these dumb kids

He didn't even stop to help them or anything, just calmed down from laughing so hard and walked away to continue shopping

Shinobu Kocho

An absolute queen of insult humor

Even Sanemi can’t beat Shinobu at her best

Do you even think she would stick with the basic ass jokes? Of course not

She can be an absolute menace if she really wants to

Shinobu is just tired of everyone's shit, and she can get even more exhausted from putting on that smile nearly as much as Kyojuro

She just can't keep up

Which brings me to my main point, which is that Shinobu's funny side usually comes out in rants or vents with the people closest to her

She and Mitsuri both express their humor by storytelling, Shinobu's just originates more from anger an annoyance rather than an effort to be entertaining

Regardless of who Shinobu's around, everyone can tell that when she walks through the door with steam coming out of her ears, everyone's gonna be laughing their asses off

As anyone can agree if they've worked in any form of customer service, there are some days where you are so damn close to breaking your cool

When Tengen got placed in the Butterfly Estate's infirmary, Shinobu was actually going to kill a patient instead of saving them for once

Like this man was just demanding shit and teasing his friend left and right, and Aoi had never been so afraid of her mentor in her entire life

Aoi tried to calm her down, "Sticks and stones Shinobu, don't let him get to you!"

Tengen only snickered

Ooooo, she lost her shit

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but PLEASE. FUCK. OFF"

Angy Shinobu is best Shinobu

Kyojuro Rengoku

Look me in the eyes and tell me Kyojuro doesn’t like puns

I know you can't do it

He will howl with laughter nearly every time you tell him a pun

"Hey Kyo, you're never gonna believe it! Remember my friend with a bakery? Well it just burned down!"

At first he'll show genuine concern, politely shouting "How unfortunate!"

"Don't worry about it, his business is toast"

Give him a minute...

"Ahahaha! Good one!"

Not only does he like being told puns, but if he has a good opportunity to tell a well timed pun he will not stop giggling until he tells it

One time you, Tengen, Mitsuri, and Kyojuro were all trying to decide where to eat after a long day of work

At one point Tengen suggested hotpot, even offering to take you all to one that Makio and Suma liked

Kyojuro tried muffling his laughing, but his attention was redirected when you asked him what he thought of the idea

Finally able to cease his giggles, Kyojuro proudly shouted "SOUPER"

It doesn't matter if you find the joke funny or not, Kyojuro's laughter is so contagious that you're dying at the silly pun

What a fucking dork <3

Giyu Tomioka

If there was a form of comedy that’s applicable at any given moment, Giyu would use it on a daily basis

Luckily for him, Giyu discovered it very quicky and refuses to let the tactic go

That's right, Giyu is physically incapable of stopping himself from making a "your mom" joke

Everyone can blame Obanai for that one

Quite literally at any opportunity, Giyu will mutter the phrase under his breath

Unfortunately, because it has become such an unconscious thing for Giyu, this bad habit of his ends up kicking his ass at the worst of times

with all due respect to Giyu's efforts, it just makes him unintentionally funny

in an awkward way

Giyu visited one of his favourite restaurants on his day off, the waiter asked "Is there anything else you would like, sir?" after giving his order

Now Giyu didn't mean it, he really didn't

It just slipped out of his mouth so easily

"Your mom"

Let me tell you, the silence was absolutely deafening

After the two stared at each other in mutual confusion, Giyu just wordlessly left due to the sheer embarrassment and awkwardness he had caused

He tried to go back, truly, Giyu made the effort and walked through the door

But he made uncomfortable eye contact with that same waiter and walked out

He hasn't gone back to that restaurant since ;,)

Gyomei Himijima

I have already established in my Gyomei Headcannons post that Gyomei is the dad friend of the Hashira (go check out that post if you haven’t btw ^^)

So of course he's going to make dad jokes, everyone saw this coming

God forbid you ever complain around him, he will see it as an opportunity (usually)

"Man, I'm really hungry" Gyomei will hand you a bento box and say "Hi hungry, I'm prepared

He is THAT GUY that makes "I haven't seen you since last year!" jokes

Every single year without fail

Shockingly, Gyomei and Kyojuro will bond over their mutual love for super corny jokes

One time while training Genya, Gyomei asked him "Child, what is long and sticky?"

Genya paused his routine to think for a moment, slightly disturbed by the question

"I don't know what you- fresh mochi?" Gyomei shook his head

Genya made a claw gesture with his hands, knowing Gyomei couldn't see it

"No idea, what's long and sticky?"

Gyomei gave a small, sly smile before responding

"A stick, little one"

To be honest, Gyomei's jokes do annoy some of the Hashira whenever he makes them (mainly Shinobu, Obanai and Tengen)

Normally because he's so calm about it

Tengen usually is one to lose his temper over it though

"You really got a joke for about everything, huh?" "Indeed I do, Tengen. I even have one about construction"

Tengen's eye will twitch as he taunts Gyomei "Oh yeah? Well let's hear it then!"

"I'm afraid I can't, my friend. I'm still working on it"

Kyojuro's laugh echoes throughout the meeting as Tengen realizes he most definitely walked into that one

Muichiro Tokito

His sense of humor is weird

That’s all I have, anything that Muichiro finds funny is actually kinda strange

He does this thing where he will go in with a fistbump, but change it to a high five last second

Muichiro can do it the other way around too, but regardless it results in this silly fist-five thing that makes him chuckle

He's a little bit of a devious child so his sense of humor kinda comes from whatever will annoy the other Hashira

Sometimes he will sit in the middle of a meeting and just blow raspberries while spacing out a little

It annoys the fuck out of Sanemi and Obanai because Muichiro's spit gets EVERYWHERE

Even Giyu thinks that kid comes with his own splash zone

He's not one for pranks per say, but he likes reaping a bit of terror amongst the other Hashira

One time Muichiro stole Tengen's red eyeliner one weekend purely for entertainment

the next day when everyone showed up to the meeting, people got to witness a very distressed Tengen

Holding up Sanemi and Obanai midair by the collar of their shirts, Tengen interrogated the both of them where they hid his shockingly expensive liner

Of course no one would suspect the slobbering kid, who was inconspicuously blowing raspberries

Had anyone asked Muichiro if he saw Tengen's liner, Muichiro would turn to the fuming man and giggle

Secretly, Aoi is Muichiro's unknowing accomplice in these scenarios

"Here Aoi, could you hold this for a while?" "Uhh, sure? What is it for?" "Hmm? Oh nothing..."

Don't underestimate this little shit

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚ ꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚ ꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚

Hey y’all! Hope you liked this post, it was such a pleasure to write it ^^

I’m hoping that now I’ll be able to write more for this blog now that I have more time, and I have more posts lined up in the future :)

Ask box and requests are still open, just please read the rules before submitting anything!

[bsd-elle]

Thoughts on Buddy Daddies Episode 9

I have so many thoughts about this episode and it all stems from P.A works' fantastic SUBTLE writing choices.

This episode, on paper, sounds like a pretty cliche sports day episode, but they somehow managed to show us the character progression and the relationship progression between the characters.

The biggest progress we can blatantly see is Rei taking an effort to help Kazuki more.

And we can see that Kazuki reacts accordingly.

Kazuki is surprised by this development, and voices his concern.

Rei was genuinely impacted by the events in episode 7, realizing that he was pretty 'useless' when it came to raising Miri, and has taken the initiative to give a helping hand.

And what I love about that is, we know that Rei had absolutely no clue how to work a microwave or any basic cooking, so for him to automatically suggest and start making onigiri shows that either he had previously asked Kazuki how to make simple items, or two, he was more observant when Kazuki was cooking, because he wanted to be able to do more, do anything to make his little girl smile.

And it's so wonderful to see them actually bring up this plot point and continue it, rather than letting it be a one-off plot point.

They pick up on his interest to be more involved and we see him actually trying.

Knowing the unfortunate circumstances of his childhood, it's not that Rei doesn't want to help out or get into Miri's activities, but rather that he simply doesn't KNOW what to do. Doesn't know what's right.

His hesitance throughout the Episode is evidence of that, his hesitance to give Miri his riceballs.

He genuinely looks so sad, feeling like he can't compete with Kazuki's sheer talent with cooking.

His hesitance to even cheer for Miri.

Growing up in a family full of espionage and assassination, quietness and taking up little to no space must've been embedded into his system, into his psyche, and the fact that he's actively trying to be loud, to draw attention to himself, just shows the effort he's putting into taking care and raising Miri, something his father never attempted to try.

And both Kazuki and Miri appreciate his efforts.

They understand that he's trying and are so enthusiastic and receptive to his attempts.

Which is why he takes it to heart that Miri fell down because he was 'loud'.

I think, in that moment, he thought that he failed, that failure is never acceptable.

But, that final reassurance from Miri (in the cutest way possible), that he didn't fail, he didn't do anything wrong, and Miri considers them all to be a family, something he never had, something he's never known, that's all he needed to realize that, yes, maybe he'll fail, but at the end of the day, Miri is happy, and there's nothing else that matters.

The other one I wanted to talk about, which is definitely more subtle, but the progression of Kazuki and Rei's relationship is truly so beautiful.

Kazuki treasures the help Rei attempts and supports him in every way possible.

When Rei said that he wanted to make riceballs and was worried if Miri would like it, Kazuki instantly reassures him that Miri would love it.

In fact, he proudly proclaims to Miri that Rei would be making onigiri. And I'm sure that if he hadn't, there might be a chance that Miri wouldn't have been able to eat it, while Rei was clouded by his doubt.

When Miri says that she likes the onigiri and she thanks Rei, Kazuki immediately tells him, "hey, you did good, look our daughter agrees too. You're doing good and trying, and we both see that".

When Rei is drowning in his self-loathing about potentially causing Miri to lose the gold medal, Kazuki tries to reassure him and tell him that he didn't do anything wrong.

Finally, when they're walking back, Kazuki tells him that he's proud of him, that he worked hard, and you can tell that Rei really appreciated that, to know that his efforts were being accepted.

And that's why their relationship grows in such an organic manner, Rei puts in the effort, tries his best to help out to the best of his abilities, and Kazuki reassures him, let's him know about things that he would have no idea about, and vocally supports him.

And Miri, my sweet angel, with her bright personality and even brighter smile, constantly comforts both Kazuki and Rei, that she's happy, that they ARE a family.

The reason they are a family is because each one of them helps each other, is an equal part in the group.

And at the end of the day, they're just all trying their best, taking one step at a time, while the others, cheer them on.

(And this picture is the perfect symbolism of that sentiment, Rei awkwardly trying his best to smile, and Kazuki physically trying to bring him closer into the picture).