#is he cringe?? absolutely hes a theatre nerd

[baconcolacan]

KC interacting w/ everyone else gave me a stroke. Sorry for the swap asks, im just, im just too invested it'll be my demise. Anyways, ready?

1 how would Red and Blue (KC) react to THEMSELVES from regimen?

2 i was curious, does A.K. know about what happened to Tords arm and Toms eyes? Does he know the story behind his parent's quite important injuries? But most importantly, who caused them and how

3 look, i know i know, and i apologize in advance but hear me out, im just, just feeding your imagination- your creativity, yeah! Its, its for your sake..

..so, what if Church's Grimm met Stay and Regimen- I KNOW CG might not even be finished and its the least of your priorities!- but its so different- i cant help but wonder how the others would react to a younger version of them, that isnt in war, ruling, in the military, but are..different in their own way. Also we dont know much about them- And in this one, Tom is quite literally *dead* so im quite curious of how they'd face his spirit, or ghost (who probably has a supernatural power that could be dangerous..or useful..)

I hope you're doing well and taking breaks, you can skip last ask if it spoils too much or for whatever reason! Please remember to appreciate yourself, also know that Castling was fire and insanely fun to read! leader x leader au *chefs kiss* could go on about it for hours, istg you're really out to get us with that talent of urs

PHEW OK CONFERENCE TABLE ASKS LETS GO!

If Red met R.L. I think he'd be very understanding of why he's like that. They virtually have the same goals, although Red isn't as power hungry, he knows that he's more than willing to mutilate the entire world for his own selfish goals, which both he and R.L. will happily admit to. He might be a bit uncomfortable with how off the rails R.L. is mentally, but it's not like he has any room to really judge, he's not as sane and sound as he likes to pretend to be anyway....

If Blue met Tom. Well first of all, Tom wouldn't react too well to the fact that Blue is essentially a mirror of his own Tord, they're both military leaders with a proclivity to violence, and Tom is still at the stage where he's trying to justify everything he's ever done. Blue on the other hand, will happily admit that he's doing what he's doing for his own sake, and since when have we ever cared about other people? They mean nothing to us, might as well have some fun.

Blue thinks this version of himself is pretty funny for being so uptight about his "morals". Then again...he might still have something to lose, so he supposes that's just natural.

2. All AK was ever told when he asked about his parents' injuries was that it was an accident, and that it happened when they were out in an active war theatre. Tord wanted to admit that it was his fault, but Tom stopped him because, to be frank, it wasn't really his fault, he started the war sure, but he wasn't the one that sent the bomb towards them.

3. HSASFJ OK I'll just give a general answer to this for all the aus cause I cant write them all one by one at the moment.

I think, on the side of the Tords, they'd all be surprised that a clearly younger version of themselves (CG Tord is in his early 20s) is such a wallflower, cringing away whenever there are eyes on him or hiding as much as he can in his hoodie. KC and Stay Tord would be pretty sympathetic, Regimen Tord would be appalled at how "weak" he presents himself.

CG Tord just hates looking at them, they're all marked by death, the veil is touching all of their souls, and they're damned. What does that say about his own fate?

The Toms on the other hand, I doubt they'll be able to see their CG version, so I'll just stick with their reaction to CG Tord. KC and Stay Tom will think CG Tord is absolutely precious, more so with Stay Tom because he reminds him of when his husband was a shy little nerd bird teenager, always refusing to go outside to hangout with them unless it involved something he really likes.

Regimen Tom thinks he's creepy, especially because CG Tord would stare at him a lot.

God, what the fuck, now there's a stereotypical creepy ghost-seeing version of Tord who seems to be interested in him?? Fucking kill him now.

HAHAHA AND TY FOR LIKING CASTLING! I'm actually surprised that there isn't a lot of Red x Blue fics out there?? Like damn, I love a dynamic where they're on equal ground, why isn't there a lot more fics like that?? HKDSJFHHG FINE I'LL DO IT MYSELF.

Awkward. They'd be awkward about it.

Let's say, hypothetically, they both get spat out into the Stayverse. Freakouts and initial explanations aside, Tord and Tom take advantage of their temporary presence to leave their son with them while they do RA stuff (after they vet them ofc, they dont just trust their son with anyone, even if it's another version of themselves.)

Red and Blue aren't sure how to react around AK, seeing as he's their son in another life. Red would definitely be the one whispering shit to Blue like; "Does he want..a hug? Kids like hugs right?? How do I- do I just open my arms or...?"

"No you fu-"

"Don't swear in front of the child, Blue."

"Piss off!"

They stop being awkward eventually because AK will force them to watch cartoons and build legos with him.

Regimen: :]

Stay: Well, of course they still have fights sometimes, and they're both bullheaded and too prideful to back down, but this time since they're older, they don't escalate their fights like they used to anymore, and would much rather prefer to separate and cool off.

Although, Tom has more of a penchant to hold on to his anger than Tord, who would often feel much better after letting out his frustrations in explosively violent ways. This would of course, lead to Tord wanting to talk but Tom is still seething, therefore would not want to talk to him yet.

His silent treatment often leads to Tord being a bit gloomy but definitely more snappy, which would lead to days in the RA where he would be a bit more unforgiving with his army and how they run their operations.

It'll be tense for a while, until Matt steps in to gently remind Tom that he needs to actually talk with his husband if he wants to sort things out.

I'm not sure if you wanna know what happens with KC Tord, as Blue's silence often means he's getting paraded around again like a showgirl, so he'd be more irritated and aggressive than usual, which would bring Blue back to the warfront.

Stay: Tom would recognize immediately that Tyler is biologically his son (Due to his hellhound genetics lmao). He'd probably act a little bit stiff towards him, only because he's trying to be polite, as every bit of his instincts are on the fritz, telling him he has to protect his progeny.

Tord would probably clock in on his husband wanting to adopt the kid, and would come to the same conclusion that Tyler might be related to him in some way. I think he'd be more neutral but warm towards Ty, since he doesn't have a personal tie with him.

Regimen: I really don't think you want Tyler to be in this universe lmao. Both Tom and Tord would be pretty cold with him, especially Tord if he figures out Tyler is related to Tom. at worse he might even kill him. And like I said before, this Tom isn't good with kids, so he'd try his best to avoid Tyler at every chance he can get.

Sorry Ty :[

[merv606]

Okay but Terry being a massive syfy and Star Wars nerd and having a deep nerdy desire to have Daniel don the Slave Leia outfit is absolutely hilarious. Maybe he even drags him to an anime convention and buys them both a lot of mercy lol. It’s a dream date of Terry’s. Daniel just cringes along through it.

Terry dies a little on the inside when Daniel admits he hasn’t seen the original trilogy.

Terry, of course rents out a theatre and has them played.

In all seriousness, if this wasn’t the Mercy AU, I think Daniel would find that endearing about Terry and would 💯 be the supportive boyfriend who listens to him go on and on about it 😂

[maurypovichofficial2]

...

[deyondwashere]

Let’s talk Graves (Part 1/3)

Calm down goth kids, I’m not talking about literal graves, I’m talking about one of my OC’s, Graves.

(Purple text means that it has a chance to be changed and or deleted)

Exposition

Okay so a bit of history for you, Graves used to be one of my most problematic characters. For a long time he was just a concept, fun fact he was actually supposed to be a girl at some point but I changed it last minute. Before I tell you what his original concept was, go ahead and buckle up because god was it a ride.

Appearance

Graves is an Amilian. Amilians often have unusual hair color so his is sort of like a dull purple. He has massive eye bags from working late and black marking around his face because of his species (More on that in Those Red Butterflies)

I would describe his body type as sorta frail, but not Disney channel typical nerd frail. I mean, he’s in a Villain organization he can’t exactly he weak, especially since he’s part of the big 3.

His style is basically just “goth theatre kid.” In my rough drafts, he’s wearing black head to toe with a buttoned up shirt and a white sailor scarf. So yeah, pretty theatre kid. Also, he has a small masquerade plague doctor shaped mask that he keeps on his forehead. When he performs surgery he puts it on and looks low key terrifying.

Those Red Butterflies

Butterflies play a important part within his character, whenever you see a red butterfly you’re mind as a viewer should immediately go to him. Here’s a bit of world building for you, there are 2 worlds that are important to the universe, and as far as I’m concerned there isn’t any others. Neither of them really know about each other, but select people from both worlds know about the other. Before I tell you the names of these 2 worlds, please remember

1. I made these when I was 12.

2.My excuse is that the humans are the ones who named the other, but it’s not actually what they calls themselves

3.What do they call themselves you ask? Uhm…

4.Yes I know it’s obvious, yes I know it’s cringe, but you know what chances are it’s probably not gonna change so deal with it. If DC gets to name a big city “metropolis” and a small city “smallville” AND A SUPERHERO NAMED “SUPERMAN”…then I’m allowed to do this.

Anyway they’re called amilians and they live in the amilian world.Ok now I know how absolutely stupid that name is. And yes, they’re basically just humanoid creatures with animal ears. Am I going to keep that name? Yes. Am I going to change the name of their world? probably. Am I ashamed of myself? No comment. Also the other world is basically just earth, I never explicitly state that it’s earth but there’s humans on there with cultures that are on earth so…

Back to the butterflies, the butterflies came from the amilian world, and have since been an invasive species on earth. If you’ve ever watched hunter x hunter, think of it like those butterflies in the first season. They search for blood. On battlefields they would fill the sky like a dark storm cloud and dead bodies would just be a cluster of red. If you’re ever in the forest and you start seeing a lot of red butterflies, run in the opposite direction. These butterflies will also come after you if you have a open wound, even if it’s just a cat scratch. They don’t really do any real harm, but do you really want a butterfly drinking your blood for breakfast? Graves absolutely hates those butterflies. Sometimes he finds them intruiging but those butterflies love to follow him around because he reeks of death. They’re just a general nuisance to him. These butterflies will also follow around the people he has revived.

The Lab

Graves is a scientist. “The Lab” gets mentioned multiple times in the series. The 4 main characters of Crystals grew up there- but 2 of which do not remember their time there. Graves worked there, he was about 14…and probably one of the best workers there. He works as a surgeon and researcher, he really did love all the excitements they did on the kids though. That’s why he worked there, that was his first experience with the transformation. He has made it abundantly clear that if he ever got the opportunity for something more exciting and or benefiting for him he would turn on the transformation in a heartbeat. More on his morals later.

Powers

Once upon a time, I wanted to add immortality to the world of Crystals, however, having a character who's only power is to make people immortal is kind of boring (no offense). And so, I decided to add another trait onto him. He brings people back from the dead. Actually, that's his base power. All he can do is bring them back from the dead. However, he cannot reverse the cause. So if he brought back someone who was shot in the heart, without fixing the damage through surgery and or magic, they would just die again moments later. Thus, he gets his sister to help out for a deal.

You might be wondering, how the fuck does someone who brings people back from the dead make someone immortal. Ah well you see, I have absolutely no idea. He's a scientist, he figured out how to manifest his power to do that I don't know don't ask me I only wrote this guy man. Anyway, another question I had was "How is this guy making people immortal if he can't even heal them?!" Well lucky for me I have an answer for that. You know how in a video game you have a save slot and then when you mess up and or die you just restart there? Yeah that's basically what he does. In simple terms he has a "save file" of their body and then once they die then they respawn at their anchor point in about 24 hours. Honestly I'm not the best at stuff like this so I don't really think too hard about the science and facts about stuff so...

Immortality is still a fairly new thing, only 2 people are actually immortal so far. And even so, immortality doesn't work like how you think it would in this universe. I'm pretty sure immortality is usually just "the person can't die," well in my case, they can and very much will die in the most gruesome of gruesome ways. Ok, maybe not to that extreme but you get the point. As stated, when someone dies they will spend 24 hours technically dead before coming back to life at their anchor point.

Role in story…coming soon

[rainwolfheart]

i've been playing lovelink for a few days and i have reviews

Adam/Dominic - total sweetheart. lil basic but I am absolutely spending gems on him. 9/10

Aesha/Samantha - I wanted to like her but I can't deal with the cringe. and mc being so oblivious to game culture. also I am not into the sexy videogame outfits thing. 3/10

Albert/Jonathan - no thanks I don't respect the troops. might match with Albert if I'm desperate to farm gems. 1/10

Alex/Calum - too forward, wish there were more "cool your jets bro" options like there are with Blake/Keanu. also just doesn't feel realistic. "couldn't afford canvas so I painted on myself"??? you can buy canvas at the dollar store, it's good paint that's expensive. try harder. 3/10

Alice/Eve - matched with Eve before I reset and I want her back. didn't get far enough to really get to know her tho. 7/10

Ana/Milena/Ruby - I'm not into the "born sexy yesterday and you're the only human she knows" thing. I think she's super sweet and interesting and I want to help her, but I want her to make real friends and do stuff without mc! the obsession makes me uncomfortable. 3/10

Angel/Emmalyn - super sweet but I want to have nuanced animal rights/veganism conversations with her every time 😬 5/10

Antoine/Noah - one of the only pairs who's never come up! I want to match with Noah and get dog pictures. 5/10

Austin/Damien - ehh could take it or leave it. probably gonna match with Austin to farm gems. maybe I'll be surprised. 2/10

Blake/Keanu - kinda enjoying it. I matched with Blake first with a more femme mc in mind and I was kinda creeped out, but after I reset I matched with Keanu with a more masc mc and I'm into it. he's cuter. wish his pics were actually covered in ink tho?? he's got a sleeve and like 2 big pieces, he's not even the character with the most lmao. 5/10

Charlie/Jake/Zayn - ngl Charlie was one of the reasons I reset. I had already matched with Zayn but I found out Charlie is probably trans and I couldn't not. honestly not super into the storyline, as a theatre major who is a terrible actor, but I can live with it. 6/10

Clementine/Grace - matched with Grace before I reset, gonna go for Clementine tho. Grace has too many "sexy nerd halloween costume" vibes for me. Clementine has the same name as my cat but at least she's less cringe. 4/10

Cpt. Muffin - BEST MATCH. BRING HIM BACK. 11/10.

Dahlia/Rose - I think Dahlia is the most like someone I'd date irl she's too fucking cute. I have spent gems on every single option so far. I am buying an engagement ring and all the snacks as we speak. 10/10.

Daniel/Ryan - matched with Daniel before I reset and probs will again. kept rolling my eyes at his story tho. you can't just breach your NDAs to a random person on a dating app!! 4/10

Didier/Mamoru - waiting patiently for Mamoru.... 5/10

Dr. Vile - I'm a lil disappointed he greyed out so early. I'm having fun with the story but not sold yet. 6/10

Eveline/Jade - had Eveline before I reset and I want her back!!!! possibly my fave after Dahlia and Adam. also the kind of person I'd be into irl. 9/10

Garrett/Rory - pls match with me Garrett. 8/10

Hazel - ??? 4/10

Hugo/Marco - unpopular opinion but I really really dislike him. he's constantly flirting with someone behind Sally's back, I'd call that cheating, and yet you can never be upfront with him. I choose the friendliest options every time and yet he persists. 1/10

Jaden/Skylar - everyone's obsessed with Skylar and I haven't found him yet. curious to see what the hype is about. 5/10

Jamie/Seth - I've heard so little about these two. curious but only vaguely. 5/10

Jasmin/Kayla - pleasantly surprised by how much I like her? I feel like both their profiles don't reflect how they are in conversations at all. wish she and mc weren't such dumbasses tho. 5/10

Julien/William - match with me pls Julien. 6/10

Liam/Min-Jae - matched with Min-Jae briefly before I reset and I'm curious about his story, not sold yet. I'm not into kpop so it's interesting for mc to also be an outsider. 5/10

Michael/Sam - you are a child!!! I don't want to match with them tbh. 1/10

Nicholas - I like the concept but because mc keeps worrying he's pranking them, he sometimes reminds me of those people who are really into historical rp to the point where they pretend to not understand modern life. that da Vinci pic is hilarious. I wish you had the option to talk about being queer in the 18th century with him!! 6/10

Nick - ??? 4/10

Oliver/Stefan - no. 1/10

Raphael/Wyatt - Wyatt looks too much like Shaggy for me 😂 curious to talk to Raphael tho. 4/10

Sage/Vitoria - big titty goth gf. love her. she's not a werewolf yet in my game but I am waiting respectfully. also wish mc wasn't such an asshole after she ditches the first date. 8/10

Sheng/Tomas - idk enough. curious. 4/10

Theo - so mad I missed them. come back. be queer with me. 7/10

Tiros - as long as you don't think too much about how centaur sex works he is so much fun. sexy constantly shirtless man lost on a beach trying to reclaim his honour. sign me up. 6/10

[incorrect-rainbow-rocket-quotes]

Hey. Theatre kid Maxie anon again. Off anon now bc I am no longer worried everyone will shun me for committing Cringe Headcanon™️, and now I feel like maybe people will want to talk to me about other maybe-not-cringe things bc that would be neat. Really tho, we had it all backwards. Maxie is the drama kid and Lysandre is the nerd. A nerd with incredible fashion and a knack for grandiose flair? 100%. Can’t deny that. But he DID build a functioning whole-world-death-laser.

moderately-ok-trash-bin said:I suppose that now that I’m off anon I can stop introducing myself. Ok ok but hear me out here. We all think Lysandre’s style and theatrics point to a drama kid. But I do stand by my Nerdy Tech Geek Lysandre. So for your consideration I have... Geek with a strong love for reading novels. Think about it. Timeless, characters are as compelling and beautiful every time you read, it’s a world built entirely by one’s imagination, exactly as you want it to be. (Curse tumblr’s ask limits)

moderately-ok-trash-bin said:(Continuing my last ask) He seems like the type to like fantasy and sci-fi most, but PARTICULARLY real hard, gritty dystopian stuff. He gets absorbed in good writing and compelling settings, and the seeds of similarities he sees between the broken worlds of his stories and the world he truly lives in awakens a grave sense of duty. Only he can see how this world will fall to ruin. Only he can stop it... by whatever means necessary. But anyway that’s just my headcanon. Hope u like it tho 🤷‍♀️

Yoooooouuuuuuuu

YOU

Need to STOP coming up with these GOD-TIER HEADCANONS

I can absolutely see Lysandre liking novels that’re somewhat dystopian and yet philosophical about humanity, like Farenheight 451 and The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas, as well as general books on philosophy, like War and Peace (one thing he and Maxie have in common is a love of Tolstoy) and The Space Trilogy.

(He’d give Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? to Cyrus to read at his recommendation.)

[fritzllang]

#7 for Pink/Orange?

Thank you so much for the prompt, and also for your amazing art which partially inspired this.

This is actually the longest piece of fanfiction I've written, so there's that. And I still have a couple of ideas about it, so who knows, maybe I end up writing a second part.

Hope you enjoy.

7. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.” + Pink/Orange

"Well kids, that's it for today. I've got places to be, should I drop ya off?"

White is half-turned in the driver's seat of his car to look at Freddy in the passenger side. Pink occupies one of the back seats; the three of them have just spent the entire afternoon staking out the diamond's place, eating junk food and listening to White's amusing but intentionally vague stories about his past jobs. 

Before Freddy can say a word Mr. Pink answers for him:

"Actually… Orange, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out for a while?" 

Freddy is surprised by the question, but he sees no good reason to say no; he can even justify himself saying it's good for his assignment to spend time with the guys. Still, he looks at White as if he's asking for permission. White looks back at him with a raised brow but says nothing, so Freddy shrugs. 

"Yeah, sure. Bye, Mr. White."_ Shit, I sound like a fucking school kid_. He tries not to cringe as he gets out of the car and shuts the door behind him. 

"Bye, boys." By the sound of his voice, White seems to find the whole situation entertaining.

As the car drives off the curb Freddy finds himself standing on the sidewalk along with Pink and suddenly feels self-aware, so he lights a cigarette and starts walking without direction, just to keep his feet occupied. For a while, Pink just follows beside him. Freddy's not exactly sure what it is that the man wants to do. 

"So…" he starts, but he doesn't really have anything to say. 

"Yeah, right. So, I was wondering…" Pink seems twitchy, but that's not out of the ordinary. "I heard you say you like action movies? There's this one I want to see…" Pink's fumbles with something in his pocket and produces a rolled cigarette, lights it with nervous hands. "Just came out. It's called Point Break. Wanna go see it?" Pink looks like it took him a lot of effort to get the words out. 

Freddy ponders the question for a moment. Is this guy really asking me out on a date? He's not sure if he's reading the signs correctly; but if he is, well, he's not really opposed to the idea. Admittedly, Pink's not the nicest fella he's ever met, but at least he's pretty sure there's more to him than that coat of assholery he seems to wear for an armor. And then again, probably Holdaway would congratulate him for fraternizing with one of the guys. Sure Freddy, probably the man would also be glad to know you've been checking the boy's ass (not bad, for a man so scrawney). 

In the end, he chuckles and nods. "Yeah, why not. I haven't been to the movies in a while."

Pink seems to light up. "Great. Uh… there's a theatre this way…"

They find themselves in an old, dusty-looking, two-screen movie theatre; Freddy buys a small tub of popcorn, and the movie hasn't even started when he's already regretting not ordering the large one, because Pink is stealing them and even has the nerve of complaining about the lack of butter. He thinks he might be starting to find the guy adorable. Freddy wonders if Pink's gonna try any kind of move on him during the movie, and the thought makes him nervous. What if he takes my hand or some shit like that? He already has enough with feeling like a fucking lovesick teenager around Larry, doesn't need the trouble of getting involved with another guy from the team. He decides to make an effort to keep his hands on his lap, staring straight ahead at the screen, and immerse himself in _Point Break _for the next two hours. (*)

Pink doesn't make a move; Freddy spends the whole time squirming and fidgeting in his seat anyway. He couldn't have picked a worse movie to watch if he had tried. Pink's constant hushed commentary doesn't make it any better, either. Fucking Hollywood movies with their fake-ass sexy FBI undercover agents and their homo plots. Fuck. Is the universe trying to laugh in his face? Has Pink discovered he's a cop and this is his fucked-up psycho way of telling him? But when the credits roll and the lights come back on Pink is staring at the screen teary-eyed and looking like he's ready to suck Keanu Reeves off. He doesn't blame him, either; he might have enjoyed the movie if he hadn't spent every minute of it expecting the man by his side to turn to him and say "Hey, could you imagine if there was a fucking undercover pig in our group, Orange?" 

He's not telling Holdaway about this. 

So as Pink is turning to say something Freddy gets up rather quickly and goes straight to the bathroom, ignoring the man behind him. He takes a couple of minutes to compose, wash his face and throw looks at himself in the mirror. He even whispers to himself, quietly, after making sure no one else is in the stalls. 

"He doesn't know shit. You're super cool. You're fucking Beretta. You can do this Freddy. Shit. You can do this."

When he gets out of the bathroom Pink is waiting for him outside, absolutely oblivious to Freddy's nervousness (thank the man for his lack of social skills). "Was that a good fucking movie or what?"

Freddy gives him a lazy smile and agrees, and doesn't have to do much else because Pink starts going on a full review of every scene in the movie, with analysis of the subtext and innuendos, and he only has to nod and hum from time to time for the guy to be content. 

By the time Pink is wrapping up his critique, they've been walking around for half an hour and Freddy's feeling a lot better. Pink seems to have been too enthralled by Reeve's and Patrick Swayze's intense relationship to give any thought to a possible rat in their job. It also clears any suspicions Freddy might have had about the man's tendencies. He definitely finds him adorable. Suddenly Pink stops and looks at Freddy with a smile on his face, he's taking something out of his pocket. "Hey, back there you seemed a bit on edge… you want to relax, for a bit?" 

Pink opens a small tin can and shows it to him.  There's a few rolled cigarettes and a joint inside. 

This time Freddy lets out a big laugh, because if that isn't an advance then he hasn't seen one. But the truth is, he's starting to have a lot of fun with Pink. 

"Yeah, let's go."

"Wait, I wanna grab a coffee first." He signals to a cafe on the corner. 

"I thought you wanted to relax."

"I want you to relax. Anyway, I'll order decaf."

They order two to go and when Freddy goes for his wallet Pink puts a hand on his arm and smiles nervously. 

"I'll pay. Owe you one for the popcorn."

Freddy lets him, but when the waitress brings the change back and Pink picks it all up Freddy lets out a chuckle and fishes a single from his pocket for the girl. Pink doesn't notice, he's too busy sniffing his coffee suspiciously and taking a cautious sip. 

"Are you sure this is decaf?"

The waitress is trying to reassure him but Freddy's already on his way out, tugging at Pink's arm. 

"I'm sure it is, leave the lady alone."

They sit side by side at a solitary part of the pier, almost sprawled on the wood planks. Pink takes the neatly rolled joint from the tin can and lights it up, huffing it a few times and then passing it to Freddy. He brushes Pink's fingers when he takes it, just to see if there's a reaction (there is, a twitch of the hand) and gives it a tentative puff. He hasn't smoked weed in a long time, almost since high school, and wants to be careful; the only thing he needs now is a high-induced burst of honesty or something like that. He doesn't want to look like a rookie either, he's supposed to be a dealer after all. 

Stop it, Freddy, you're thinking too much. 

Almost immediately he starts feeling the old-familiar dizziness and knows it's affecting him more than he wished. 

The sun is starting to settle and the sky is tinted with orange and pink hues, it's like they've bled their code names into the dusk. Freddy stares at the clouds and is torn between finding it enchanting and terribly corny. The truth is, it does cast a beautiful light on Pink's face, softens his sharp edges. The guy's smiling too, in a way Freddy had never seen yet. Pink talks first. 

"So, are you nervous about the job? Your first big thing, isn't it?"

Don't be too honest, Freddy. Don't be too honest.

"Uuuh… I mean, yeah, but just a little. The normal amount. You?"

"Nah. Well, I'm always nervous. But not about the job. I feel confident about it, we're supposed to be professionals."

"Yeah, I guess…"

"I mean, I wouldn't pick any of those guys for a friend, but if Joe chose them he must've had a reason."

Freddy lets out a soft laugh, he feels a bit lightheaded. "You wouldn't, uh?"

"Of course I wouldn't. Have you ever been alone with Mr. Shit?"

"Brown? Can't say that I have."

"Never met anyone more obnoxious in my life. The man can't fucking shut up." That sure sounds a bit like someone. Pink takes another drag before talking. "Always going on and on about Nancy Sinatra or The Breakfast Club or whatever thing he saw the night before in his mom's basement. And they say I'm annoying? What a nerd." 

Freddy bursts out laughing, and Pink looks at him surprised but then does too. It takes them a minute to calm down. 

"What do you say about Mr. Blue?" says Freddy, "is the man eighty or what? Always looking like he's about to take a nap." 

"Yeah, totally. Sure, the guy must be old school, probably has a ton of amusing anecdotes about serving in the Second World War."

"Maybe even the First." 

Pink wheezes, a cloud of smoke coming out of his nose and mouth at once. He passes the spliff to Freddy again. "And don't even get me started on Mr. Blonde, the psycho. Every time you so much as bother him a little he looks like he's ready to break your nose."

Freddy couldn't agree more. He won't say it, but that Mr. Blonde guy scares him; reminds him of some of his worst colleagues. He takes a long drag, longer than he intended, and returns it. 

"And what about that "Nice Guy" Eddie?" Freddy makes the quotes with his fingers. "Yeah I get that he's the boss' son, but does he do anything? Is his job to babysit us or something?"

Pink shakes his head. "Nah, he's there for when Blonde's stressed and needs his dick sucked."

Freddy chuckles. "Whoa, you're so right. Can't believe you just cracked "Nice Guy" Eddie's."

The sun's long settled now, and the shadows of dusk have overtaken the pier, surrounding them in a bluish darkness stained by the yellow light of a distant streetlamp. The bright-red end of the joint shines when Pink takes a last drag and passes it to Freddy, almost finished. 

"You know what, you're so right." Freddy says. 

"Uh?"

"You're a bit of a punching bag, aren't you?"

Pink stays silent. Freddy stares at joint in his fingers before huffing it to the butt. It's late, he should be getting home. 

"They all joke you're such a bad guy. Well, I don't think you're so bad." Freddy says. He doesn't say My real boss wants me to look at a bunch of mug shots and find your face. He doesn't say If everything goes right in a few days you'll be going to jail and it'll be my fault. He doesn't say I'm scared shitless but I don't know what to do. 

Pink doesn't say anything, either. Freddy reaches with his hand to his side to let the finished spliff fall between the wood planks, and then keeps reaching, until his fingers brush Pink's and his hand in resting on top of his. 

He can feel Pink is trembling, only a little. 

(*) Point Break is a very extra 1991 movie about an FBI agent (Keanu Reeves) who infiltrates a gang of surfers suspected of commiting bank robberies. He ends up becoming friends with them and developing a very intense (very gay) relationship with the leader (Patrick Swayze). Drama ensues. And when I say very extra, I mean there's a scene in which, after finding out the truth, Swayze sky-dives off a plane to get away, and Keanus jumps without a parachute, catches the other midair and points a gun to his head shouting at him to open the parachute. That extra. Please watch it. 

[dotzilaa]

The Star Player

Writer’s Month Day Seven! Today’s prompt is Sports.

Summary: Supernatural High School AU where Castiel is the yearbook photographer along with Charlie and he needs to get pictures of the soccer team for the final game of the season, and he might have a major crush on the star player, Dean. 

Word Count: 1951 (this is a long one)

   Castiel carefully grips his camera around his neck as he jogs towards the soccer field. The game starts in twenty minutes and he needs to get a picture before the sun goes down. It’s the last game of the season, everyone is hyped, and the team has the homefield advantage. Charlie wants to get a before and after shot of them, so Castiel needs to get there now.

   The team is thankfully on the field already and he makes his way over to the coach. Bobby looks up from his clipboard as he approaches, and he holds up his camera in response. He’s already told Bobby what he needed so all he does is blow his whistle and Castiel flinches.

   “Boys! Get over here!” It takes a minute or two before all of them are gathered around the pair. He catches Dean’s eye and he gives Castiel a blinding smile. Castiel looks away, face flushing a bit. “Castiel here needs to get your picture so line up. You know what to do.” As he waits, he spots Charlie over with the cheerleaders and he refrains from rolling his eyes. She’s supposed to be doing the same thing as him, but he knows she’s just flirting. He looks back to the team and gestures for Bobby to join them. He rolls his eyes but does so.

   He takes a couple steps away and starts snapping pictures, he promises them that if he gets a couple serious ones, they can do goofy ones. Once he gives the go ahead one person immediately jumps on another’s back, another has one in a faux choke hold and many have sprouted bunny ears. He shakes his head but snaps the pictures. Most of them change poses and when he’s done, they crowd around him to see. Dean all but pushes right up against him, throwing an arm over his shoulders and heat seeps into his shoulders.

   “These are great Cas!” Dean smiles that smile again and Castiel can’t stop himself from smiling back.

   “Thank you, Dean.”

   “You’re gonna be a famous photographer one of these days. Just you wait.” Castiel chuckles and looks away from him to make sure that no one will drop his camera.

   “That’s very kind of you.” He replies.

   “Take the compliment Cas. You’re fantastic.” He ruffles Castiel’s hair and then he’s off, calling the rest of the team to get back to warming up.

   Castiel walks over to the benches where the team sits, dropping his bag next to one end and going through the pictures again. He’s already choosing which ones he should use and how to edit them a bit. The lighting and cropping could be better. He rechecks his memory once again, just to make sure that he has enough room for the rest of the game.

   He walks over to Charlie who he knows for sure is flirting because he can hear the giggles from the cheerleaders. She barely spares him a glance as he comes to stand right next to her.

   “So, they’re doing a marathon of the Star Wars movies at the theatre, you only have to pay a little bit more but going will be totally cool. I’m friends with one of the ushers and he said that refills on popcorn and drinks will be free. You want to join me?” The cheerleader she’s talking to looks totally enamored and Castiel holds back a snort.

   “Totally! Sounds really fun. Is it this weekend?”

   “Yep!”

   “Hold on.” She quickly runs to her bag and Charlie sends a smile to Castiel and Castiel only shakes his head. She comes back holding a pen and Charlie diligently holds her arm out for her. The cheerleader writes her number and parts with a text me. Castiel leads Charlie back to where he’s set his stuff.

   “What’s her name?”

   “Anna. And she’s only doing cheerleading because of her mom and she’s totally awesome. She like Star Wars and Star Trek and it a total art nerd. I think I’m in love.”

   “You always think that.”

   “It’s just…” Charlie sighs dramatically. “Girls are so easy to love. Besides, enough about my love life.”

   “You mean we’re not gonna talk about your love life? Oh, the horror!” Charlie playfully shoves him.

   “I’m talking about your love life.”

   “What? Like how nonexistent it is?” Charlie scoffs.

    “Its not nonexistent! You definitely have something going on with Dean.” Castiel huffs.

   “Will you drop this already?”

   “Never.” Castiel sighs, running a hand through his hair. “He’s completely over the moon for you. I don’t think there’s a thing he wouldn’t do for you. All you’d have to do is bat your lashes and pout and he’ll do it without question.”

   “He would not!” Charlie gives him a look.

   “Mmhm.” They settle onto the bench and Castiel hands her his camera so she can look at the pictures. “These are good. I’m thinking we can even use one of the goofy ones in the back of the book.” They devolve into talking about the yearbook and how it’s going to be organized.

   Castiel settles down when the game starts, and Charlie runs off to see if she can get decent pictures of the players as they play for the first half. Castiel brings out his phone, content to just scroll through social media until halftime. He cheers when everyone else does though and does look up from time to time to watch.

   He shuts his phone off when he sees a post talking about fucking pennywise erotica and watches the game hoping that it’ll cleanse his mind. He’s already sent a link to Charlie anyways. His eyes almost immediately pick Dean out and he thinks back to what Charlie said.

   Dean and he met when Dean needed tutoring in his English class because he needed to keep his grades up. Ever since then, they’ve practically been inseparable. Hanging out at each other’s houses, hanging out after games, playing videogames. Its been fun, being with Dean. But he’s not over the moon with him. Definitely not.

   At that moment Dean runs by. He winks at Castiel and gives him a little wave before running back off again. Castiel thinks back to every time Dean did something like this. Every time the team won a game they went to get pie if they could, he almost always waved when Castiel was watching the games, he let him win in video games sometimes, he fixed his bike for him, drove for two hours just to get doughnuts from Castiel’s favorite place on his birthday, let him cry his heart out when Castiel’s parents got into yet another fight which had his mother storming out, giving him these looks like he’s Dean’s whole world. Okay, he might be over the moon with him. And Castiel might be over the moon for him too. He doesn’t know what to do with this information.

   Two minutes till halftime Charlie sits back down. Her hair is now in a ponytail and she gives him a look as she drinks from her water bottle

   “Why do you look like you just discovered the secret to the universe but then wished immediately for ignorance?”

   “How do you even come up with this stuff?”  Charlie shrugs and takes another drink. “Besides the point, you’re right oh my god.”

   “I’m always right. But what am I right about now?”

   “Dean likes me.” Charlie gives him a deadpan look.

   “Congratulations! You’re officially the last to know. You just now figuring this out?”

   “I am having a crisis here Charlie!”

   “So, ask him out at half time.”

   “Absolutely not!”

   “Okay, okay,” Charlie holds her hands up in a placating gesture. “You’re right, he’ll probably be in such a dazed state he’ll throw the second half.”

   “Charlie!” The stands erupt into cheers and they both look back to the game. Adam just scored a goal. Charlie claps and lets out a whoop that has Castiel cringing.

   “Cas, listen. Gather every last drop of courage you have in you and ask Dean out on a date. For the love of god, one of you do it soon or I’m going to just lock you both in a closet, you hear me?” Castiel nods, fully believing she will. The horn goes off and they both jump and turn back to the game once again. The teams run off the field over to their benches.

   Dean comes over minutes later, a towel around his shoulders and water bottle in hand.

   “Hey Cas.”

   “Hello Dean.” Charlie looks between them, gives Castiel a pointed look and walks off. Dean takes her place, leaning his shoulder against Castiel’s.

   Dean takes a sip from his water bottle. “You okay?”

   “Why wouldn’t I be?”

   “Its just when I looked over a couple minutes ago you looked like you were about to throw up. Like you realized you completely forgot you had a test tomorrow and didn’t study at all.” Dean chuckles.

   “You should really be watching the game not me.” He turns and hopes he’s giving Dean his best stern look.

   “Well I apologize that I just can’t keep my eyes off of you.” Castiel sucks in a breath.

   “Dean, I was wondering if-”

   “Dean! Coach needs us!” One of the players, James, comes running up and Dean gives Castiel an apologetic look. Castiel doesn’t know whether to be relived or annoyed.

   “Sorry Cas, later alright? I gotta jet!”

   “No one says that anymore!” He calls out to Dean’s retreating back. He looks over to where Charlie is, easily spotting her with her vibrant red hair. She looks like she’s about to murder someone.

-

   There’s a minute left on the clock and they’re tied. Both him and Charlie, and like everyone else, they’re on the edge of their seats. Charlie is actually biting her nails, glancing from the clock to the players. Saying the time every now and then.

   Their team has the ball. It gets passed from player to player. Five seconds are left on the clock and when Cas looks back, the ball is getting kicked and then Dean doing a fucking jump kick or something like that and it- it goes in the goal! The stands erupt into cheers and the horn goes off. Charlie and Castiel are out of their seats, screaming and clapping with everyone else.

   The team swarms Dean, they’re jumping around, hugging him, and shouting. He’s lifted up and he fist pumps the air while grinning. Charlie is already snapping shots and Castiel and Dean make eye contact. Dean’s grinning and so is Castiel. He feels so happy and proud that his legs are moving before he can process it. Castiel sees his mouth move but doesn’t here him but he’s being put down moments later. Castiel doesn’t stop, breaking into a jog and Dean pushes past his teammates.

   Castiel all but tackles him, jumping up and wrapping himself around Dean and he easily catches him.

   “You fucking won!” Castiel shouts.

   “We won!” Dean shouts back. He adjusts his grip so both hands are holding Castiel’s thighs. Castiel leans back so he can look at Dean’s face. He’s sweaty and flushes, dirt on the side of his face and he fucking reeks- but Castiel doesn’t care. Dean’s face is split into a grin, eyes crinkling and practically sparkling. He doesn’t hesitate and smashes his mouth against Dean’s. Dean’s still for a moment before eagerly responding. Castiel is the first to break away.

   A wide smile is on his face as he takes in Dean surprised and breathless face. “Go out with me. Please?” Dean huffs out a laugh and kisses him again.

   “Hell yes.” He says against Castiel’s lips.

[fuckyeahwomenfilmdirectors]

Blockers dir. Kay Cannon (2018)

Considering the absolute paucity of R rated studio comedies directed by women how lucky were we that we got not one but two really good ones in 2018? I’m talking of course about the delightfully ridiculous buddy action film The Spy Who Dumped Me and Kay Cannon’s directorial debut Blockers. I dodged Blockers in theatres because I heard it referred to as a gross out comedy one too many times for me to actually want to see it on the big screen, but imagine my delight when I watched it at home and found that while it certainly has some gross out cringe worthy moments it is also a well-written delightful film with a lot of heart. 

The “blockers” in the title is short for cock blockers and refers to the parents of three best friends. Julie, Kayla and Sam have been besties since their first day of school and are now in their final year of high school. When Julie decides to lose her virginity to her boyfriend on prom night, Kayla, a jock with no particular feelings about her own virginity, decides to lose her virginity on the same night so they can have the same sex-versary (to be celebrated yearly at Olive Garden). This leaves Sam, a shy nerd who is grappling with the realization that she might be a lesbian, feeling left out. After some misguided but well-meant advice from her mother and step-father, Sam decides to join in the sex pact and lose her virginity to her fedora wearing boyfriend on prom night. 

Their plans to have sex are set in motion the second they head out to prom but through the miracle of tech (Julie has accidentally synched her iphone to her computer leaving her mother and Kayla’s father to try to decipher their children’s sexy peach and eggplant emojis) their parents eventually realize that their three teen daughters have a sex pact. Horrified at the idea of their children having sex the parents set out to stop them, by any means possible. 

Despite the fact that the children set the plot in motion the film really belongs to the adults. Julie’s mother Lisa (Leslie Mann) is a single mother who is so emotionally fragile after her ex walked out of their lives years ago that she can only associate sex and vulnerability with heartbreak and pain. Kayla’s dad Mitchell (John Cena) is a classic overprotective type who still sees his daughter as a little girl who needs to be saved. And even Sam’s dad Hunter (Ike Barinholtz) whose lax attitude towards his daughter’s sex life seems one with his desperation to be the “cool” parent, actually stems from the fact that unlike the other parental figures in his daughter’s life he has clued in to the fact that she’s a lesbian and doesn’t believe she’ll actually have sex. 

This is Kay Cannon’s directorial debut and she handles it like an absolute pro. There’s a lot of material to get through and a lot of characters with differing motivations and goals but the script (by Brian Kehoe and Jim Kehoe with uncredited input by Cannon) gives everyone their moment to shine. It also has a deep understanding of consent (apparently Cannon’s contribution these conversations are weaved seamlessly into the plot and feel as natural as breathing). The movie also isn’t shy about pushing back on the intentions of the “blockers”. Both Kayla’s mother and Julie’s boyfriend’s parents openly tell them that they should mind their own business and trust their children to make their own sexual decisions. Also, not to spoil too much, but each girl and parent has a different resolution to the night and when those resolutions come it feels right to their characterizations and right to the plot. 

The cast is pretty uniformly great but as always Leslie Mann is an absolute gem. This is a role she could pretty much play in her sleep, but she absolutely sells every single moment of Julie’s arc. Out of the kids Gideon Adlon as Sam was the best to me. That’s maybe due to the fact that as the one with the coming out arc she had more dimensions to work with but she absolutely sold every inch of her character. 

Also hurray for Cannon for scoring one for Amy Heckerling! In an interview Heckerling stated that in the ‘80s when she started working she wanted to show less female nudity and more male nudity. It took a few decades but more and more male nudity is making it into the mainstream and that includes Blockers. So while all the women get to keep their tops (or at least their bras) on, there are several shots of both a penis and testicles! Before anyone gets too excited it’s played off as a gag (and kind of a creepy one tbh, I’ll be happy when these kind of non-consensual scenes disappear from cinema forever), but kudos to 62 year old Gary Cole for gamely stripping off for the camera. But mostly the kudos goes to Cannon for making sure that even though the young women of her film are ready for sex they aren’t treated like objects. 

[mentalcurls]

3.  Una festa in cui nessuno ti vuole

Here we go, my thoughts on episode 3 of season 1! Finally the whole girl squad is together and out there having fun. The topics I’ve managed to ramble about about this time are double standards, fandom, Mom friend™ Giovanni Garau and the mysterious Francesca Mirabella, as well as the results of the Bechdel test for this episode  ✌🏻

“Eva, mi guardi?” was the precursor to “Martino, guardami Martino!”

Gio really doesn’t get it. He keeps saying he’s doing things for Eva, when actually he does them to appease her so she won’t bust his balls, so he’s doing them for himself

Cerami and Bea sound exactly like all couples of middle schoolers I knew when I was in middle school myself. The shoes thing especially. It’s hilarious.

I understand Gio’s frustration with Eva, I do, cause it’s hard being the only point of reference for a person when you have a much more diverse social life. I’ve been on both sides of their situations actually. When Gio says “Couldn’t you try to make some friends?” I know his intentions are good, he’s coming from a place of wanting happiness for this girl he’s in love with, despite being frustrated with her just then; but I also understand Eva a lot, the feeling of isolation, of not knowing what to do or who to turn to because everyone just seems too distant or too busy with their lives (and of course there’s some condescension there too, cause she’s a teenager, she’s got standards, especially since she was popular before fighting with Laura), and the frustration she must feel, because it’s not just Laura ostracizing her, she made scorched earth around Eva for several degrees of acquaintances; and I’m 100% sure that deep, deep down Eva is a bit angry that she had to bear most of the brunt while Gio came out of the situation unscathed

Eva’s disdain for her classmates who like manga and k-pop wounds me deep into my fangirl heart, not because I’m specifically a fan of those things myself, but because she’s using those example to say they’re loser nerds because they have that strong passion for those things, the same passion I am, as a matter of fact, pouring over Skam Italia and Eva’s own story right now. Plus she’s basically shitting on fandoms included among those mostly made up of teen girls and LGBTQ+ people, so there’s that. Are you a fangirl of anything, Eva? Do you know what it means to fell such a pull towards something, a book, a movie, a song? Have you ever felt it? Do you know how nice, how rewarding being a part of fandom is? How fun? My wish for Eva at the end of the season, for when she decides to focus more on herself, on understanding who she is, is actually to get in one of those fandoms she seems to dislike, cause it’s a wild ride, yes, but it’s also an opportunity to learn so much about other people, places, worlds, and ultimately about yourself.

“Eva, it’s nice to be around you. Maybe you forgot, but when someone is around you, it feels nice. Trust me.” And this I think is the first real taste of that Mom friend™ Gio we’ve come to know and love in season 2, that protective, supportive, loyal person who gives good advice and just knows how to lift your spirits. This could have 100% been a conversation he had with Marti in S2, if Marti had been feeling insecure after he pushed everyone away. More importantly, this could 100% be something Gio tells Nico at any point ever in which he’s feeling low. Can you imagine that? Oh my God. Especially with the joke about smelling afterwards. (Aaand I made it about S2 rather than about Eva. Ops.)

poor Eva, she tries so hard. Too hard, in fact. If instead of that whole three-messages-and-a-sticker explanation she’d just gone “*Hey” it would have made her cringe less at herself and it would probably have prompted more of a response from Ele. I understand the panic though.

those theatre kids look just like the twins from “The Shining”! The girls is even wearing light blue like them! And they walk in sync and call Eva’s name repeatedly and ask her to come act in a play with them! OMG, LudoBesse’s mind, honestly.

Ele is so bad at fake crying, really. And the fact that theatre guy, a person who’s supposed to know something about acting/pretending, falls for it kills me.

Evanora for the win, honestly, look how cute they are together. I mean, Ele definitely looks pretty smitten here, immediately noticing Eva from afar, making her smile and reassuring her in a roundabout way about her fumble on Facebook a few days before

poor Gio, the Anglo-Spanish War is kind of a bitch, though to be fair the only things about it history professors usually care about are who was ruling those countries and the Invincible Armada; the Thirty Years’ War is much more interesting (defenestration of Prague, anyone?)

how cute is Silvia??? BRB going to throw myself into a volcano

Gio and Marti doing the parent thing over Eva like Gio and Elia will do in S2 over Marti himself

then Martino catches Federica’s eye and we have the infamous spoon scene; Fede sort-of-pretends-to-fellate the spoon and Marti looks away, embarrassed and uneasy. I love how Skam (both the og and Italia) have taken the trope of the guy ogling the girl from afar (or not so afar) and her feeling uncomfortable under the attention, and have reversed the gender of who’s looking and who’s looked at.

What I don’t like is how it’s framed, in the shots and in the discussion between the characters, like it’s creepier than most of the stuff boys do to girls during the series (I’m thinking especially of guys at parties in general and of the Villa boys). The vehemence Martino uses to express his discomfort over Federica sexualizing him and making her interest evident is basically the same with which the girls react to finding the tally on the wall behind the boys’ bathrooms. This would kind of be fine, despite the fact that the two things are imo on different levels of disgusting, if it was discussed somehow that boys doing disturbing stuff are considered normal, just hormonal teensagers, but when girls do a fraction of the same thing they’re demonized, considered really weird and too horny. There’s no discussion of the double standard and that’s what bothers me.

Something else that would have been interesting to explore, maybe not with Marti, but later with possibly Chicco Rodi, since we see Fede talk to him at a party and even kiss him (if I remember correctly) is the follow-up from that trope: the guy usually goes up to the girl and makes a comment and she turns him away, but oftentimes after he insists a while she concedes and she ends up dancing/going out/going home with him. Which is a shitty thing that happens in a lot of media. It’s actually kind of what happens with Edoardo and Eleonora later. And it would have been super interesting to see Fede doing the ogling thing (which would have never been as rude, graphic and uncomfortable as guys can get, anyways), being turned down, then actually getting her way, and what kind of reactions she’d have from the guy and from the girl squad.

Martino is such an asshole! Silvia obviously extends her invitation to him and Gio out of politeness because they’re friends with the girl who helped her in a bad situation, she doesn’t know them and she was not obligated to invite them along. And while Gio manages to keep an appearance of politeness, Martino straight up mocks Silvia who’s been nothing but nice and enthusiastic towards Eva. That, in my book, is even worse than the two boys being their unsupportive selves yet again and telling Eva to get new friends, then not helping her make some. And that’s such a boys thing, honestly, to spot a problem and tell others to solve it but not help along!

and Silvia is so nice, she’s so good at driving the conversation along, keeping track of the social cues: she feels Eva doesn’t agree with the guys, so she extends her invitation again, then elbows Fede for some support, but she just makes things awkward so Silvia has to smooth things out, then she invites Eva again and is finally able to make plans, but she still has to diffuse the situation when she sees the boys are uncomfortable with Fede’s suggestive actions. So much emotional labour for just one conversation. Thankfully Eva helps her along a bit, cause no-one else does.

by the way, I totally understand and share Federica’s kind of humor and I love her

Marti’s face at Fede’s joke about psychotropic drugs though. Completely blank, just for a second.

I think it’s telling, though, that Federica is one with the weird actions and the weird humor nobody gets, because she’s the fat girl, so she gets pigeonholed as the comic-relief character: she does whatever comes to her mind, she doesn’t seem to pick up on social cues and she’s there mostly to make the other characters laugh or to make them look more refined, more clever or to say how cool they are; sure, she’s a good friend who stands up for Sana and Eva when it’s called for but her character could be way rounder

oh, guys. Marti and Gio’s reaction as soon as Silvia and Fede are out of earshot, it makes my heart bleed. The mocking, the casual fat shaming, the way Martino looks absolutely disgusted about that girl showing an interest in him

Ele acting aloof and dismissive of Silvia is not my favorite thing, I mean, I get not liking a person from the get go, but for God’s sake, come up with an excuse or something, there’s no need to be so blunt when she’s just inviting you to a party

you can actually subtly see Ele kind of relax when Fede arrives, she’s obviously much more her speed

and of course we have Sana, scathing Sana, picking up on Silvia’s racism straight away and calling her the fuck out but diffusing the situation with humor anyways

Silvia is looking for cool girls to make her own group since she’s been more or less kicked out of Laura’s; Silvia probably used to be the popular girls in her class, but Laura has taken that role from her, first integrating with Sara in Silvia’s friend group, then “overthrowing” her, despite only being in her class a few months, given that the transfer from Succursale, when Laura, Eva and Gio’s class was separated into groups that were merged with pre-existing classes, happened the previous September

(btw, Eva, Gio, Marti and Elia are in 4B, Ele in in 4A, so Silvia, Fede, Laura and Sara are in another class; Sana is probably in yet another class; and Luca could be either in the same class as Ele, as Silvia and Fede, as Sana or in another completely different class)

Eva hasn’t picked up on Silvia’s desperate desire to be one of the cool people yet, and Eleonora hasn’t explained it to her either? Pffft

OMG Silvia has an older sister???? I completely missed that the first time around! Hi Francesca Mirabella! You seem to be older and popular since you get into Villa guys’ parties, so you explain so much about Silvia

Ele has been at Kennedy high only for a month, so she might not know yet who the most popular people are yet, I can get behind that; but Eva? After 7 months? Not having the perception of the internal hierarchy of her school? Girl, please.

Eleonora dubs Edoardo “faccia da cazzo” and “capelli di merda” right away 👏👏👏

on the other hand, Sana seems to know the social hierarchy of both the school and her year very well, probably because she absolutely needs to in order to avoid at least some of the discrimination

Sana clearly has plenty of ideas about how to be popular, but she’s much better at preaching than at doing; Silvia wants to be liked by everyone, probably because of some complex she has about being in her sister’s shadow, but her solution is to be at the same time judgemental and a pushover; Sana’s brutal honesty and “advice” is meant more to hurt than to help Silvia become a better, more genuinely likable person; Sana’s probably lashing out because she was hurt by Silvia’s behaviour towards her

Federica is so clearly the comic relief in this scene, not one of her lines pushes the conversation along plus she acts like she’s completely oblivious to the tension between Silvia and Sana

yas for Eleonora who has the common sense to actually look for an alternative solution since they’re obviously not going to Martucci’s party, I like a practical girl

even at the club, Sana shows diffidence until the girls (probably Ele with some help from Fede) pull her in, drag her away from the bar so she can take selfies and dance with them; is she uncomfortable? Is she just trying to act cool? Is it a defense mechanism? Is she trying to keep away so people won’t look weirdly at the girls because they associate with the “terrorist”, is she afraid someone will say or do something?

seeing the girls dancing and having fun like gives me such a nostalgic feeling for those few (because I’m a really self-conscious motherfucker) parties in high school in which I was really able to have fun with my friends

Bechdel test: the episodes passes the test, with flying colors I might add, since there’s the conversation between Eva and Eleonora in the corridor after the theatre guys leave; Silvia thanking Eva and inviting her to the party; the whole scene with the girl squad in the courtyard, both when it’s just Ele and Eva, when Silvia arrives, when all five girls are present and when Sana leaves; finally, the first part of the conversation at the Baretto, when they’re talking about the party, then Edoardo is mentioned and it stops passing the test.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1.  If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

[jessicakehoe]

Julia Garner Isn’t Who You Think She Is

Julia Garner is hard to miss—even though the 25-year-old actress is roughly the size of a woodland sprite. (OK, she’s five foot five, which isn’t even that short.) When I get to the diner where we agreed to meet, she’s already there, leaning forward in a booth, wearing a black turtleneck that seems ready to provide cover should she need to disappear. But that would be difficult. Garner the actress—you’ll recognize her if your taste in film and television runs toward the unsettling—can and does disappear into her roles, but Garner the person is unmistakable.

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It’s her hair: a controlled eruption of blond curls that would make William Katt—you know, the guy from The Greatest American Hero—swoon with envy. You don’t see curls like hers on television too often—at least not since the days of Chrissy Seaver on Growing Pains or maybe the first season of Felicity. It’s one of the subjects I intend to raise with her: how curls are often cut, straightened, covered up or otherwise discriminated against in showbiz and how they might make someone a hero.

There’s probably a metaphor in there, too.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

She brightens when I approach, and we immediately fall into an easy conversation. She’s open and friendly, despite the unconscious motions of millennial discomfort: pulling at her collar and then running her hands through her hair, gathering it up and moving it from one side to the other, like a kid who doesn’t want to eat her potatoes. Before I can ask about that hair—or anything else for that matter—we’re interrupted by one of the diners on his way out. He’s sporting a buzz cut and a bright green shirt he likely got at the “Why Yes, I Am an Embarrassing Dad Store.”

“Is that Ruth we got here?” he says, not acknowledging my presence. “We just finished Ozark, and I thought it was you!” Garner is just as gracious with him as she was with me when I said hello. The man compliments her work and then heads out before anything becomes uncomfortable. A few moments later, he’s back with a camera. “My wife is going to love this,” he beams.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

It was almost as if the whole interaction were a bit of theatre orchestrated for my benefit, to show not only Garner’s reach but also her low-key grace despite her growing fame. It wasn’t, of course. But since I had wondered whether Garner, who has been acting for nearly a decade but mostly in indies, has started getting recognized, it was a bit uncanny.

And, fine, asking whether an actress gets recognized is about as groundbreaking as asking who she’s wearing on a red carpet. But it seemed like an especially appropriate question for Garner. Because her biggest role at the moment—at least until Dirty John, a true-crime series, based on a popular podcast, that came out late last year—is as Ruth, the whip-smart, shit-talking quasi-outlaw/sidekick to Jason Bateman’s Marty on Netflix’s Ozark.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

“When did that start happening?” I ask.

“It actually first started in Brooklyn,” replies Garner. “Because I was in indies, that seemed to be where I was recognized most often.”

And now look: That girl from Martha Marcy May Marlene—and a surprising number of other cult-based works, like Electrick Children, where she played a Mormon teen who believes she was impregnated by rock music, or Waco, where she was one of David Koresh’s Branch Davidian wives—is all grown up and getting spotted in Manhattan. If you can make it there….

Garner isn’t anything like the characters she plays. She doesn’t sound like them, and she doesn’t act like them. Granted, this is true of most actors (though, ha ha, certainly not all). But, like in the biblical “Parable of the Sower,” she plants the seeds of her characters in fertile ground: They grow out of who she is. Take Ruth in Ozark, for example. Garner has managed to create a character that’s intimidating, resourceful and strong while keeping this thread of vulnerability humming just under the surface. “The vulnerability is the easy part,” she tells me. “Ruth’s strength—that was the challenge.”

“The vulnerability is the easy part. Ruth’s strength—that was the challenge.”

Plus, she already had that thick, rusted Missouri accent from an earlier role in Tomato Red. She figured she’d impress the producers with it in her audition for Ruth. “Casting offices in New York are tiny,” she tells me. “So while I’m waiting, I can hear all these other auditions for the same part. And none of them are trying out the accent.” She decided she’d forget the accent, too. Only, she couldn’t. “I had prepared so much with the accent that I couldn’t even remember my lines when I tried to do it with my normal voice.” Obviously, breaking out her Missouri twang worked out for her—spoiler alert: she got the part—but the fact that she almost caved to peer pressure of her own making is telling.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

You get the sense that, like a lot of people who were painfully shy as kids, Garner has what my family used to call the Appropriateness Gene. It’s a potent blend of sensitivity, empathy and self-awareness that makes, for instance, watching cringe-comedy nearly impossible unless there are ample pillows nearby to hide under. Basically, the Appropriateness Gene—which has yet to be identified by geneticists—makes you want to do what’s right/expected, and it causes you pain when others don’t. “My mom used to get me to eat vegetables by making me feel guilty,” explains Garner. “Like, ‘You don’t want these carrots to fail in their life’s purpose, do you?’”

“My mom used to get me to eat vegetables by making me feel guilty. Like, ‘You don’t want these carrots to fail in their life’s purpose, do you?’”

Famous people will often talk about how awkward, nerdy or generally uncool they were growing up. This is either an attempt to seem relatable or proof that everyone goes through periods where they feel as if they don’t fit in. It usually feels disingenuous—except when Garner says it, you believe her. “I was one of those kids whose parents were actually worried about them. Like, ‘She’s such a sweet girl,’” she says, pretending to be her parent, “‘but is she going to be OK?’”

Acting was actually what brought her out of her shell, though she still identifies as a bit of a nerd, even now. She looks down and her voice drops, as if she’s about to confess something that will be painful for both of us: “I really like Vanderpump Rules.” When that doesn’t convince me of her current nerd bona fides, she tells me she knits, too. The shame.

“I was one of those kids whose parents were actually worried about them. Like, ‘She’s such a sweet girl, but is she going to be OK?’”

She lowers her voice often, actually, apologizing in advance for saying something horrible—like how parents maybe shouldn’t force their children to perform before they are ready—that never turns out to be horrible at all. She can’t help it. It’s a function of her Appropriateness Gene.

But that (entirely fictional) gene might also be the key to outsized talent. After all, has there ever been a shy, sensitive child who isn’t also a keen observer and preternatural listener? Even now, that’s what Garner notices when she watches other people perform: if, and how well, they listen. “I can always tell; that’s the most important thing,” she says. “It’s about figuring out what a character wants. It sounds horrible, maybe, but people only wake up in the morning because they want something from the day. If you listen, you know what that is. And then you react to that.”

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

The harder you listen, the more present you can be. “If I can remember what I did in a scene, I will ask to do it over. Because it means I wasn’t in the moment,” she says. That’s the other side of the shy/sensitive/self-aware coin: an inherent perfectionism that is both inspiring and exhausting. “If I’m not in pain—if something isn’t hurting—at the end of the day, I worry that I haven’t worked hard enough,” she says. “I just want to know that I’ve done everything I can.”

“If I’m not in pain—if something isn’t hurting—at the end of the day, I worry that I haven’t worked hard enough.”

But that all-or-nothing, go-for-broke commitment begins before the official work even starts: These days, Garner doesn’t even go in for an audition unless she knows she’ll be crushed if she doesn’t get the part.

There’s something refreshing about that passion, something dangerous. But it’s also the perfect response to an industry that has a habit of breaking people down and flattening them. Of taking their curls and straightening them. “I know I’ll never be cast as, like, the popular girl because there will always be someone prettier,” she says. “And I can’t play a typical daughter because I don’t look like anyone. I want to take advantage of being the New Thing, because I’ve learned that there will always be a new New Thing.” And so why not only go up for roles that interest you—that only you can bring to life?

“I want to take advantage of being the New Thing, because I’ve learned that there will always be a new New Thing.”

And maybe that will change as Garner’s career progresses. Even some of the best actors in history have accepted roles and done work they clearly weren’t passionate about. Hell, whole careers have been built on a performer’s need to pay a mortgage(s). But in a perfect world, wouldn’t everyone have Garner’s level of passion? Wouldn’t everyone be willing to work until they hurt and listen until they were lost in the moment? A perfect world doesn’t necessarily mean an easy one. Perfect can be messy, even if you don’t see it that often, especially on television.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

Photography by Owen Bruce. Styling by Michela Buratti . Creative direction by Brittany Eccles. Hair, Bobby Eliot for Starworks Artists/Oribe. Makeup, Misha Shahzada for Forward Artists/Charlotte Tilbury. Manicure, Tracylee Percival. Fashion assistants, Sarah Gentillon and Erica Cutroni. Photography assistants, Karen Goss, James Lee Wall and Roxanne Hartridge.

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Julia Garner

Dress, $31,880, Valentino. Earrings, $55, Tuleste.

2/9

Julia Garner

Dress, $5,510, and earrings, $1,880, Dolce & Gabbana.

3/9

Julia Garner

Dress and pants, prices upon request, Miu Miu. Shoes, $5,040, Dolce & Gabbana.

4/9

Julia Garner

Dress, $3,230, Saint Laurent by Anthony Vaccarello. Hat, stylist’s own.

5/9

Julia Garner

6/9

Julia Garner

Jacket and romper, prices upon request, Louis Vuitton.

7/9

Julia Garner

Dress, $31,880, Valentino. Earrings, $55, Tuleste.

8/9

Julia Garner

Top, $1,370, Dsquared2. Skirt and shoes, stylist’s own. Earrings, $80, Tuleste.

9/9

Julia Garner

Dress, $31,880, Valentino. Earrings, $55, Tuleste.

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