#is fucking MISERABLE. and a never even seeing b's final moments until abel forcibly showed it to him. he ignored it and turned a blind eye

[smokewars]

one hokma line that always really stuck w me was "when i no longer feared the impending night, i chose to love this place" theres just something so poignant about it. at first i was wondering what day he meant but now i realise he's most definitely talking about how he has to die every reset. and he said he used to fear it too. how could he not? he was most loyal to a, but now he's the last one running away from him. he couldn't stand being a part of his self-destructive plan anymore. and feared in past tense implied he always knew it was coming with each reset. this went on for... thousands of years

with how he keeps his memories for every one of them, sometimes i wonder how he reacts to angela. do you think he quickly got used to it and just sat there waiting for her? pre-suppression its pretty clear that hokma has resigned himself to this and is completely fine doing it over and over again. he chose to love that place because it was the only thing he could really do. its what his mentor wanted and when has he ever gone against that?