#is erasing Emerie's importance?

[yazthebookish]

Sorry but it gives me the fucking ick when the only time some people will bring up Emerie is to be performative about how no one hypes her up or create content for her because she's a WOC.

Can we not weaponize a WOC for petty reasons? Because I'm pretty sure if I went to some blogs and pages that are loud about this, I'll barely find Emerie content (if there are any).

[feyresdandelion]

Some people in this fandom don’t understand acotar mates.

Azriel’s reaction to Gwyn’s capture is not mate behavior, it doesn’t matter how much you want it to be.

I often see people saying that Azriel didn’t freak out because he had trained all the valkyries and knew that they were capable of surviving the blood rite. But that’s not how mates work in Prythian.

Cassian, who also trained and also knew they were capable, was freaking out over Nesta being taken. He had to keep reminding himself that he had trained her and that she was a warrior and it still didn’t calm his nerves. While trying to rescue Eris (a rescue Azriel really pushed to happen), he kept thinking of Nesta and could not keep his attention on Eris for more than a few hours.

Males can think and know that their mates are warriors, powerful and more than capable but that doesn’t erase their biological need to protect them and their worry when their mates are in danger.

When Feyre went back to the spring court, Rhysand was really worried, even when he knew that she was okay and that she knew how to defend herself.

When Nesta went into the blood rite, Cassian had to remind himself that she was well trained and a great warrior but it still didn’t calm his need to save her until he knew she was safe.

When Gwyn went into the blood rite, Azriel was more focused on spying on Briallyn and saving Eris. In fact, he was the one to remind Cassian that rescuing Eris was important and that by helping Emerie, Nesta and Gwyn they would be breaking laws and causing all of them to be persecuted.

And yes, he did show worry for them. But his worry is no way near the worry of a mate. I’m sure he feels fond and proud of every single valkyrie, because he knows where they come from and what their traumas are and has actively seen them come out of their shells and gain confidence in themselves.

But again, his worry is no way near mate behavior.

[speedytyphoongentlemen]

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[abraxosdreams]

What accountability? Nesta and Elain only show feyre love and affection after she needs it, like Nesta saving her happens after feyre dies.

Did we forget the part when Nesta covers for Feyre in book 1, and then tries to climb the wall to save her? and once again, the things she does afterwards is her growth.

The idea that trauma explains but does not excuse abusive behavior is central to understanding complex characters like Nesta. However, the concern that fans sometimes weaponize this narrative to justify or normalize abusive behavior is valid. It’s essential to distinguish between acknowledging a character’s pain and endorsing their harmful actions. Nesta’s story may aim to explore the messy reality of trauma and healing, but fandom interpretations do sometimes skew this balance, leading to unhealthy rhetoric.

While some fans may act as apologists for Nesta’s behavior, this is not inherently a reflection of the character herself or her intended narrative. Fictional characters are designed to evoke strong reactions, and their complexity invites varied interpretations. The broader goal should be to engage critically with their arcs, recognizing their flaws without condoning them.

Abusers and Self-Control

You raise an important point about the normalization of the idea that abusers “can’t control themselves.” It is indeed dangerous to suggest that trauma inevitably leads to abusive behavior, as it risks excusing harm. However, Nesta’s portrayal doesn’t necessarily assert this as a universal truth; rather, it examines one possible outcome of unaddressed pain. While some fans might romanticize her actions, the text itself doesn’t excuse them. Her aggression, particularly toward Feyre, is repeatedly framed as a failure on her part, one that she must confront and work to repair.

The narrative doesn’t absolve Nesta of her choices; instead, it attempts to humanize her, showing that people can cause harm while grappling with their own suffering. This duality is a reflection of the complexity of human nature, but it doesn’t imply that all trauma leads to abuse or that such behavior is beyond one’s control.

Accountability and Apologies

Your critique of Nesta’s lack of direct accountability toward Feyre is significant. While A Court of Silver Flames focuses on Nesta’s internal journey and attempts to change her behavior moving forward, the absence of an explicit apology to Feyre feels like a gap in her arc. Admitting wrongdoing to oneself is a crucial step in personal growth, but it doesn’t erase the harm done to others. An apology, especially to someone like Feyre who bore the brunt of her aggression, would have strengthened the narrative’s emphasis on accountability.

The contrast between how Nesta treats Gwyn and Emerie versus Feyre is also telling. It highlights her capacity to form meaningful, respectful relationships, raising questions about why she couldn’t extend that same consideration to Feyre earlier. This disparity isn’t meant to excuse her actions but rather to underscore her flaws, making her eventual growth more impactful for some readers—but understandably unsatisfying for others.

The Role of Intent in Abuse

The claim that Nesta “used her trauma to hurt others” implying intent is a nuanced one. While it’s unlikely that Nesta deliberately set out to inflict harm, the absence of intent does not mitigate the impact of her actions. Intent matters in understanding why someone acts a certain way, but it doesn’t diminish the accountability they owe for the consequences of those actions.

Nesta’s journey demonstrates that she is aware of the harm she caused and is actively trying to change, but the lack of direct resolution with Feyre remains a sticking point. While the narrative gives her space to heal, it does not absolve her past behavior or erase the pain it caused.

However, Nesta is far more than her worst moments. While flawed and messy, she embodies resilience, courage, and growth. Her journey is about confronting pain, rebuilding relationships, and proving that even those who have hurt others can strive to be better. Her loyalty, leadership, and bravery—whether protecting those she loves or empowering others like Gwyn and Emerie—highlight her depth and capacity for love. Dismissing her entirely overlooks the beauty of her redemption arc and the powerful message that healing, while imperfect, is possible for anyone willing to fight for it.

I have started to like Elains character more these in the recent books but I really need Sjm to put a scene where elain and feyre talk about what happened in the in book 1 and she apologizes and tries to better herself for it cuz if sjm puts another excuse, for the sisters, for neglecting feyre and just leaves it like that, like nothing happened, that's going to be so disappointing 😞....and I feel like ill dislike elain characters afterwards.

Although I don’t really like Elain I do pity her, like she was as much a victim of Nesta as everyone else, but I one hundred percent agree there needs to be a long talk and apology.

To me Elain is like an abused wife, and I don’t mean this in a nasty way but it’s her trauma response like so many poor women, but their family dynamic is the abusive husband his passive wife and the abused children household , Nesta is the husband, she is the image the “typical man” they has so much pent up anger that they take their trauma and pass it onto everybody else they don’t care for anyone else only how they can get that anger out and put it onto others. Their trauma is YOUR responsibility. Elain is the wife she see hears and endured the abuse but she doesn’t leave she stays in hopes someday it will get better, she see the best in Nesta and wants everyone else to see that too but the bad days FAR outweigh to good days, she acts oblivious to the abuse surrounding her because if she can ignore it it doesn’t exist and finally Feyre is the abused child she, endured both Nesta’s abuse and Elain’s neglect, she was a child dealing with adult issues, she sees Nesta and Elain for everything that they are and she will hate them for the rest of her life, but she will always love them more, just like every abused child you hate your parents so much but you can never stop loving them no matter how much u try, she wants to not be responsible for them but she doesn’t know anything else she’s been raising them her entire life, but because of the abuse she endured from them she will be the person to break that cycle, she will look and Nyx someday and hate them even more for putting her through that.

[vee-nvs]

SEARCHING…: GIFTS

🏷 — TARQUIN X READER, TAMLIN X READER, ERIS X READER, RHYS X READER, AMREN X READER, EMERIE X READER

📍— their love language is giving gifts

🔖 — modernau!, gn!reader, blanket stealing, fluff, hurt/ comfort, angstish in some parts but nothing major, grammar mistakes (?)

TARQUIN

tarquin is quite good with words, but he also has a lot of money. and he likes to investe in your relationship. taking you to different places for your dates, no matter how expansive they’re, buying all the tickets to a specific movie session so you guys have the whole room for yourselves. eventually he also gets the habit of buying expensive things he knows you like away to often, but since the moment he fell in love with you, he invested a lot on your dates.

“you rented a yacht?!”

“it’s actually the family yacht.”

“tarquin, you didn’t have to…”

“‘course i had! you said you’ve never been in one. maybe now you’ll understand why i love the ocean so much.”

.

“you sure we are in the right room? it’s empty.” you ask him as you check the room number in your ticket.

“yes, i am.” he answers, holding the popcorn and the soda. a prideful smile on his face.

“tarquin, what’ve you done?”

“i bought all the tickets for this session.”

“tarquin!”

TAMLIN

tamlin is just one of many in this list with a communication issue. since his childhood, he finds it hard to verbalize his feelings. and once things between the both of you got serious, he made sure to tell you at least that - that he loved you even if he was unable to express it through words. so every time he messes up or you conquer something, he’s buying you whatever you have been eyeing recently. and if he doesn’t know what it is, he checks your wish list or asks your friends and family.

“congratulations, princess”

“oh, tam! it’s- it’s…”

“you favorite author’s new book? yes.”

“and it’s autographed?”

“just the best for my princess.”

.

“so, can i sleep in our bed tonight?” he asks, hope shining in his eyes. the sofa isn’t bad, but it sure isn’t as comfortable as sleeping in a bed. by your side.

“tam, those flowers are pretty. and this is my favorite dessert. but it doesn’t change the fact that you steal all the blankets every night!”

“i know! and that’s why i also bought more blankets.”

“you better not steal those too.”

“that means we’re sleeping together tonight?”

ERIS

eris has the hardest time expressing what he feels through words. he grew up in a less than favorable environment to express himself, having to keep on an act for most of his life. so even now that beron isn’t on the picture anymore and he has no reason to hide anything from you, eris still find it difficult to express himself. so be it because he feels like a “sorry” is not enough of a apology, or because saying “i love you” isn’t quite easy enough yet, eris buys you a present as a way to tell you what he fells.

“here. for you.”

“what’s it?” you ask, tone cold, still not forgiving the words he said to you a few moments ago. you try to not show any interest as you inspect the box. it is from your favorite store, and having such an observation boyfriend as eris you can guess what is inside.

“it’s… an apology.”

“eris, this…”

“i know. i know can’t erase what i said expanding money on you, but it’s the only way i can show that what i said didn’t mean anything.”

you let out the breath you had been holding, putting the gift on the table before opening your arms.

“com’ here” eris didn’t falter one second before getting into your arms.

.

“what… eris, what’s it?”

“your valentine’s day present?”

“all those flowers?! are you crazy?!”

“just what you deserve” he says before kissing your lips.

RHYS

rhys likes to celebrate. he enjoys it and think it’s extremely important. so doesn’t matter what date it is, he’ll find a way to gift you - because he’s bad at planning celebrations. and sometimes, he comes up with random excuses to buy you expensive things.

“here, darling. happy mother’s day.”

“u-hm… r-rhys? we don’t have kids”

“no, but you act like a mom to mor and cass when they are drunk, so… here, for you.” he extends the bag from the expensive cake store in town.

.

“darling~”

“rhys, i’m really busy right now”

“but darling! do you know what day it’s today?”

“… friday?”

“it’s national wine day!” he says as he shows you an expensive bottle of wine and a bouquet of red roses. “let’s celebrate”

AMREN

another one who has a hard time expressing feelings! but amren also loves luxury, she enjoys living a good (& expensive) life and wants you to have all from the best. wines? the oldest. clothes? made for yourself if you don’t find anything you like. food? only the best, most delicious ones. she demonstrates her love by taking care of you and making sure you enjoy your life.

“amren, we can just look in another store”

“why, love? if you liked this one, i’ll just have it made in your size.”

.

“this wine is older than me.”

you choke on the wine, before going to check how old it is. just to roll your eyes at her comment.

“it’s a lot older, ‘ren!”

“what means that’s a really good wine, love.”

EMERIE

emerie isn’t as (stupidly) rich as the others in this list. but she’s also the best at communicating here. so her presents are simple, but meaningful, what makes them really nice. she went shopping with nes and gywn and saw a candle in your favorite smell? she’s getting it. a new book you’ve been talking about? she’s buying. oh, just a cute keychain that reminds her of you? it’s already yours and she might get two so you can match.

“babe! i loved it! it’s so cute.”

“i know, right? it remembered me of you.”

“… a cat keychain remembered you of me? what are you trying to say?” you ask, a obviously fake offended tone in your voice since you don’t bother hiding your smile as you hug her.

“that you occupy way too much space in our bed” she whispers in you ear, hugging you back.

“hey!”

[bookofmirth]

They accuse that we've cut Emerie off from the Illiarians plot and we're just talking that Az must deal with them along with the romantic pair. Emerie will also be important in this core of the Illiarians. Plus they erase Lucien and whoever is really involved in the Autumnal Court to give the plot to Elriel who aren't even connected to Beron and Autumnal. And other than that I see a lot of people posing as if the kidnapping of the Valkyries is going to be forgotten and Gwyn and Emerie have won the blood rite.

I think that Elain and Az being the ones to resolve all the Autumn Court plot tension is one of my multiple villain origin stories. @spell-cleavers and I can join up and make a team of villains specifically for this.

The idea that Az and Elain would have anything to do with Beron, Eris, Lucien, Lady of Autumn, and Helion's family drama... Elain has enough stuff on her plate: the mating bond, Vassa visions, her personal issues to get over. Az also has enough to deal with: his random obsessions with women, his hatred for his people, his rebellion against Rhys, his loneliness. There is no need to shove them into Autumn just because sjm dropped the idea of a Blood Duel, not when Az is ready to duel people all the time, and not when there are other people who have actual, legit reasons for wanting to invoke it. (Again, Elain says "hey I want to reject the bond", Lucien says "okay", the end.)

People are always quick to cry "Emerie erasure" and then just forget that Lucien is Elain's mate and connected to a bajillion plots in the series at this point. Lucien, a disabled man of color and victim of emotional and physical abuse, and a definite victim of Ianthe's dubcon encounter. Fuck him, I guess.

You know, you make a really good point. I didn't even think about the Valkyrie kidnapping as being a loose thread, but it totally is? Obviously Briallyn was the driving force behind that, but there were Illyrians who cooperated. They tampered with the Blood Rite. I don't think that throwing unwilling participants into it is against the rules, but... They included weapons when that is really, really against the rules. Rules that are so strict that Cassian couldn't enter the Rite to help Nesta or they would both be killed. How could all of that just... disappear? On top of the strife that the Valkyries winning will create amongst the Illyrian culture.

I sort-of wonder if the Illyrians will try to delegitimize the Valkyries' win? I'm sure they are pissed about it. I wouldn't be surprised if they say "oh well there were weapons, the whole contest was rigged, better luck next time little ladies!" idk. Just speculation.

Okay but your original point about Emerie lol yes. Even if these conflicts hadn't happened in acosf, the Illyrian culture is still a major eyesore on the Night Court, and honestly on Sarah. The people who need to be involved in that are: Emerie, Azriel, Rhys, and Cassian. They are all at least half Illyrian. Perhaps that's how Balthazar could come back? And then the Valkyries, by extension of their connection to Emerie and the fact that Cassian and Azriel were training them, could play a supporting role.

[rufousnmacska]

I have a lot of thoughts about A Court of Silver Flames, and since it helps me to write them out, I thought I’d share.

It’s behind a cut because SPOILERS and it’s long lol!

Nesta

I had expected we’d learn that Nesta had suffered some type of abuse or trauma as a child that Elain and Feyre were not aware of. I wasn’t expecting it to be so subtle, for lack of a better word. Abuse comes in a lot of forms, which I think SJM is good at showing. Emotionally manipulating your daughter for power, ignoring her in favor of your business and money … those may not be as visible as physical or verbal abuse, but they still cause damage.

I’m not sure how to convey it properly, but I thought it was important to show how the parts of her that were born from the abuse and trauma, while dark or not always healthy, were still useful. The wolf she became to survive her childhood helped her survive the cauldron. Not being able to “turn it off” is what hurt her. My favorite quote:

“So Nesta had become a wolf. Armed herself with invisible teeth and claws, and learned to strike faster, deeper, more lethally. Had relished it. But when the time came to put away the wolf, she’d found it had devoured her too.”

And as Amren said later “That’s the key isn’t it? To know the darkness will always remain, but how you choose to face it, handle it … that’s the important part. To not let it consume. To focus on the good, the things that fill you with wonder.”

I’ve seen a lot of fans upset that Nesta gave up her cauldron powers at the end to save Feyre and the baby. Although I’d initially hoped (post acofas) that her training would be more about her magic than physical training, I’m okay with how it worked out. She never wanted that power and she never liked having it. She stole it as revenge and she fought constantly to suppress it. Was she a badass when she wielded it? Absolutely! But ultimately, her giving it back was the final big step in her healing arc and acceptance of herself. (That doesn’t mean she’s “cured.” This will be an ongoing battle for her. I only mean this in terms of the story in this book.)

She chose to sacrifice it, unlike so many other times in her life when things were forced on her or happened to her. Unlike the future her mother had set out for her. Unlike when they were poor and her father did nothing to get them through. Unlike when she was thrown into the cauldron and then a war. Even unlike when she was forced to move into the House of the Wind, and her apartment – the one place she had chosen for herself no matter how run down it was – got demolished. I’m not going to go into the intervention too much. It was poorly done, but I doubt any of them had experience in doing one. A conversation acknowledging that might have been nice. And I’m not ignoring Feyre and Rhys’s hypocrisy of Nesta being confined to a place where she effectively had no way to leave on her own. The stairway at that point was not an option. But the bottom line is that Nesta needed help and was not in a position to willingly accept it or seek it out.

Regardless, she is still a lethal badass. She still has some of her powers, along with her fighting skills, which will only get better and better. So, the idea that she gave up what made her strong, or ended up as some meek housewife …  I don’t agree with that at all. She has the intelligence and potential to become a force in leading armies. Not to mention her skill as an emissary. (Which Cassian finally learned how to imitate lol!)

On a personal note, I’m intimately familiar with the depression and self-loathing Nesta experienced in this book. Although I don’t necessarily react to those feelings in the same ways or exhibit the same coping mechanisms (I tend to turn my anger inward rather than outward), I could still relate to her journey. Her stubbornness and feelings that she didn’t deserve love or anything good or kind were presented accurately in my opinion. Parts were hard for me to read because of that. But I loved that she was able to make her way through the pain and finally begin to accept and love herself. And I especially loved that she was helped not only by Cassian, but by her friendship with Emerie and Gwyn.

And the House! Holy shit. The magic houses in this world piss me off to no end because they are not real and I will forever need to clean my own place LOL! Her relationship with the house was beautiful and funny and I love that she Made it! She needed a friend, someone to understand her, not only what she wanted but what she needed, and boom! The House of the Wind came alive for her.

So, overall, I loved Nesta’s journey. I’m happy she ended in a place that brought her inner peace and the ability to better deal with her problems in the future.

 Nessian

I loved them before this book and I love them more after. The smut was a little shocking at first lol but I’ve read the Black Dagger Brotherhood books, which SJM loves, so really, it wasn’t that out there. I loved that Cassian showed that even with the mating bond, he could give Nesta space and freedom. In that respect, their relationship felt more mature to me than feysand. Their banter and the sexual tension was great! (The book is about a book.) They had some not great moments, as they have in past books. But those were realistic. People argue and say things they regret. But they also talk through it and apologize. This is a good time to point out – NOT ALL APOLOGIES INVOLVE EXPLICITLY SAYING I AM SORRY. There are other ways to show remorse and ask for forgiveness.

I don’t know if I had one favorite moment as there were quite a few. I think the most emotional for me was when they reached the lake. I know firsthand how difficult it is to speak aloud the things Nesta said. And I am also lucky to have people in my life who responded the way Cassian did – with love and support and kindness.

The nightmare scene, the prison scene, the dancing, the mating bond, Cassian turning the knife on himself … I loved them all!

The Valkyries

I fucking loved them! Gwyn and Emerie were absolute delights and I’m so glad Nesta made good friends of her own who she could be herself with. Their bonding over books, training, and their pasts was wonderful. Nesta urging them on and defending them from the Illyrians in the Blood Rite was a beautiful step in her healing. Before this book, I was hesitant about the foreshadowing that Nesta would take part in the Rite, fearing it would become some sort of white savior trope to help the female Illyrians. But I enjoyed the way it ended up happening. I know it seemed unrealistic for Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn to get that far against warriors who’d been training for years. But part of the point was the males were arrogant as fuck. They underestimated the trio, to their detriment. Nesta and her friends used cunning as much as strength and skill to get where they did.

And I loved the image of Emerie and Gwyn just sitting back, sipping tea and admiring the river after going through a week of pure hell and winning the Blood Rite.

I hope we get more of them all together in the next books.

ETA - I can’t believe I forgot! Gwyn writing their story because their stories deserve to be told 🥲💕

The sisters

Overall I liked how things turned out with them.

Elain is still a bit of a non-entity to me. I don’t feel like I really know anything about her. Which, to some extent, is the point I think. There will be a lot to reveal in her story and she has a shitload of healing to do. She may have the appearance of adjusting and fitting in, but I don’t buy it. Nesta telling Elain to fuck off was awesome and long overdue. But Elain was also right in pointing out how others treat her and the trauma she’s experienced. I think there is still more to be dealt with between these two in the next book.

Feyre and Nesta were the more interesting relationship to me. The eldest and the youngest tend to butt heads in my opinion (and personal experience). So I was glad they came to an understanding. And very glad that Feyre did not get angry with Nesta for telling her about the baby. Rhys deserved the wrath for that.

One thing I would have liked to see discussed was the role of their parents in their lives. Nesta holds a lot of guilt for how she reacted to their poverty and I think that is understandable. I think Elain does too. However, I do not think any of the sisters should harbor blame for what happened. Their father was responsible for them. Period. Even if he was physically unable to work or help around the house, he still could have been a father. Yes, Feyre stepped up and fed them. Nesta and Elain didn’t help. It was his role to make them. Not in an abusive way. But step up and tell Nesta and Elain to do something, whether it’s chop wood or gather food from the wild. I don’t know. In my opinion, it is wrong to place blame on young girls who had a parent that did nothing. His actions in acowar were noble, but they don’t erase his failures. That all of this was glossed over disappointed me. I think this was something Nesta needed to be told explicitly by both her sisters. She had things to apologize for and feel guilt for, but she was not the one who should have protected Feyre. All three of them should have been protected by their father.

 The Inner Circle

It’s kind of funny to me how blind they all are about each other. I don’t even know what else to say about their dysfunction.

Amren’s sudden desire for Rhys to become High King was weird, and though I should know better, I still really hope the series doesn’t end that way. The IC tends to have good intentions about things, but I don’t think they know how to handle a problem without some kind of force. And controlling all the other courts is not something that would happen easily, especially with perceived allies.

Amren and Mor thinking Nesta belonged or should be sent to the Court of Nightmares was a spectacularly shitty take. The lack of awareness and acknowledgement that Nesta was suffering from multiple traumas was just … unbelievable.

But considering how much this group does not see about each other, I guess it’s not a surprise. I don’t know how much is willful ignorance or just really, really poor people skills. I understand how this all makes for good angst and drama, I really do. But I’m just at the point where it’s grating. They need to sit the fuck down and talk to each other. It’s been five hundred years for fucks sake. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Rhys

Okay. I liked Rhys in acotar and acomaf. But the sparkly exterior wore off big time for me in acowar and acofas. I honestly could have done without him in this book. But I wasn’t foolish enough to expect him to not be in it. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that SJM has her favorites and Rhys is at the top of the list.

Having said that, he annoyed the shit out of me in this book. Someone really needs to explain to him that a choice between two awful things, one of which might be deadly, is not really a choice. I don’t have the energy for it, but better writers than me could write a thesis on the illusion of choice in these books. Which is, in my opinion, pretty clearly tied to the brand of feminism presented.

Not only is the choice given to Nesta at the beginning not a choice, Rhys doesn’t seem to consider Elain at all in his argument with Az. All other issues with that bonus chapter aside, he saw them. He saw the mutual attraction and consent. What happened to not forcing females to accept the mating bond? What happened to respecting her choice and autonomy? I considered the possibility that maybe since he knows Az, there’s a reason he thinks they wouldn’t work. But then, that pretty much flies out the window by him asking Az about Mor. Sure, Az is still hung up on Mor, but she is pretty fucking clear about her opinion.

The whole thing about not telling Feyre about the risky childbirth was awful. And not that I would expect it to happen, but not even mentioning abortion as an option was frustrating. That plot line was not good in any way. There were plenty of other things that could have gone wrong with the birth to push Nesta to act at the end. To be honest, the feysand dynamic is not great. While I appreciated her standing up to him about Nesta and other things, he very deliberately uses sex as a distraction to get out of arguments. Yet another way he never really seems to suffer consequences of bad behavior.  

I will say I was really glad he got the opportunity to experience the full trauma of what Nesta went through. And my petty ass loved him kneeling before her at the end!

Miscellaneous

Where was Illyria?? My one serious expectation for this book was that we’d learn more about Illyria and deal with the revolution that was hyped up in acofas. To be written off in one paragraph was disappointing. It makes me think that if we are to ever get more details about the Illyrians, it might be in Az’s story. It was mentioned a few times that he hates them (with good reason) and would wipe them off the map if it was up to him. So I’m guessing his arc will require him coming to terms with that.

Elriel-Elucien-Gwynriel

I’ve never been super invested in this story line but I admit I’ve leaned more towards Elriel in the past. Partly because I like some of the complementary symbolism associated with them, but mostly because I’d really like to see a story about rejection of the mating bond. Even with the extra chapters, I feel like we still don’t know much of anything about who Elain truly is. And the same can be said of Az. So, those chapters didn’t sway me that much. With the exception of Az interacting with Gwyn. I agree with a lot of others saying Az has a lot of work to do on himself before he can be with anyone. I think Elain and Gwyn also have a lot of healing to do. SJM can take this in so many directions that I just don’t know what to think.

I will say that originally I was expecting the next book to involve a love square of Elain, Az, Lucien, and Vassa, because I did see a connection between the last two. But now … Was Lucien annoyed by Jurian and Vassa because he’s jealous? Just annoyed? I don’t know. I still think Vassa will be in the next books if only because of Koschei. But I’m not so sure about her involvement with Lucien. I think we’ve got enough people in this love polygon lol! Jesus, what a mess. But maximum angst 😂

[dxnceremery]

( lee taemin, 26, cismale, he/him)  CHOI "EMERY" MINJUN ! we’re so happy you’re here. you’ve been her for A YEAR, working as a IDOL, right? yeah, everyone’s already told us all about you. they said your very OUTGOING, CREATIVE, and SARCASTIC. which we think is just awesome. of course they told us that you remind them of SMELL OF LATE NIGHT DANCE ROUTINES, OVERSIZED SWEATERS & TWO AM AIRPORT TRIPS and ERASER by ED SHEERAN. so we feel like we already know you so well. we can’t wait to get to know you even better, though. 

(Again will add more to these intros and write up a bio I just wanted to get the basics down!)

TW: Overworking, Yelling, Berating 

Minjun grew up in Seoul, South Korea. With parents that were both world famous idols, It was quite clear that one day the boy would follow in his parents footsteps. His father started teaching him routines as well as basic concepts. His favorite was always going on tours with his father and his bandmates. They treated him as one of their own, making him appreciate having those protectors.

Once he reached the peak age of sixteen, the boy auditioned for the same company his parents were signed with and was instantly accepted into training camp. It wasn’t without hard work, his interview skills needed work as well as when greeting fans. He was still quite shy at the time, making him seem unapproachable. 

It was a little over a year later that he debuted with the group Skyline that was soon after taking over the news as well as radio stations around the world. ‘Emery’ being the maknae meant he soon had more protectors in the form of his own bandmates. They would often smother him, yet he knew that they meant well and simply wanted to make sure he wouldn’t get overwhelmed. 

However, due to his parents careers and how close to perfect they were made Emery an easy target with his management. He wasn’t quite living up to his parents, even though by KPOP standards he was well above average and even quickly became one of the fan favorites. 

That wasn’t good enough though, not for the son of Storm and Nellie. He needed to be closer to perfect than even his parents were, as that was what management expected of him. It caused him to slowly begin to resent the industry he once adored and cherished. As he was shunned, berated by his own company that was suppose to support him the most.

He soon bought a place in Seattle, wanting an escape when he wasn’t touring or working in some other form. Unfortunately he is traveling so much that most times he is flying in at twelve pm and flying back out at two am. 

At this point the only reason he sticks with his group is for the fans and for his boys in the group. They practically helped raise him, making them just as important to him as his family. 

[tmgroup1234]

How to Care for Suede & Leather

Keeping suede and leather items of clothing looking new and untarnished is a fairly easy task. One of the most important things to remember when caring for suede and leather is that exposure to inclement weather conditions can stain and scuff the items. Additionally, both suede and leather items need cleaning and preventative maintenance on a regular basis to ensure the material remains soft, supple and moisturized. Failure to do this can result in cracked and dry material.

Caring for Suede

Treat new suede with a waterproofing spray. Give the item a light coating of the spray, then place it in a cool area. Once the suede is dry, rub any areas that look dull or mussed with an emery board to fluff up the fibers.

Clear loose stains, such as dirt and sand, with a suede brush. If the stains are sticky, such as rock salt or mud, dab at them with a soft, damp cloth.

Mix a few drops of dry-cleaning solvent with a handful of sawdust and apply it to any stains that are greasy or set-in, such as oil. Brush the area with the suede brush after the stain is removed. Dry-cleaning solvent can discolor suede, so test it on a hidden area before applying it to the stain to make sure it won't damage the item.

Visit a professional suede cleaner for stains that can't be removed using one of the home care methods.

Caring for Leather

Apply a waterproofing spray to leather items when they are new. Dry the items in a cool place, then condition them with a leather lotion to keep the material soft and breathable. Repeat this treatment about every three months to make sure they don't become stained or cracked.

Allow wet leather items to air-dry in a cool place; direct heat from a dryer, heater or fireplace can dehydrate the leather. Apply a leather lotion to the items when they are nearly dry to restore flexibility to the fabric.

Wipe away dirt, rock salt, dust and other surface stains with a dry sponge. If stains or marks remain, treat the leather with a cloth dipped in a solution of 1 cup of water and 1 tablespoon of white vinegar.

Rub away surface scuff marks with a gum eraser.

Store leather clothing on wide wooden or padded hangers to keep the fabric from stretching out. Place the clothes in a breathable cloth garment bag to keep them from getting dusty; never store leather items in plastic bags, as that can dry out the material. Stuff leather shoes and handbags with newspaper to help them retain their shape.

[yazthebookish]

I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this “Gwyn didn’t receive the necklace” theory (which she likely did -Azriel tried to lie in that scene and Clotho pulled him on it so why would she then lie about giving the necklace to Gwyn?) and I don’t actually see how it matters? Whether Gwyn received the necklace or not, something sparked in Azriel’s chest. Whether Gwyn received the necklace or not, he could picture how her eyes might light up. Whether Gwyn received the necklace or not, he had to consciously erase the smile it brought to his face. Whether Gwyn received the necklace or not, the image of her smiling glowed in his chest and he thought it was a “thing of secret lovely beauty”. People are trying so hard to find meaning in this necklace, trying to prove that it was Azriel’s way of declaring his love for Elain but are actually ignoring his FEELINGS, which are the focus point of the chapter and are literally spelled out for the reader. Not a bit of glass on a chain. Elain’s not getting it back, she gave it back. And it’s so hypocritical that they say we should want more for Gwyn than a regifted necklace but here they are, wanting a regifted necklace for Elain. At the end of the day, Cassian didn’t regift his gift for Nesta, because we knew he had deep feelings for her and he knew she was the only one for him. On the other hand, Azriel had no problem at all. In fact Elain didn’t enter his head once whilst he did it. I’m laughing even trying to imagine Cassian doing what Azriel did and it’s ridiculous. The regifting situation will always be more damning for Elriel because if Azriel had ANY feelings of importance towards Elain, he wouldn’t have given the necklace away. But he did. And here we are.

That whole last section of the bonus scene is damning for them because of the romantic coding in it. Why do you think they're making Gwyn be this luring Lightsinger? They acknlowdge that Azriel is feeling something towards her (not love yet but there is something brewing) and that's why they're twisting this whole thing as Gwyn trying to make Az fall in love with her.

This alone proves his feelings are not as deep for Elain. He wants her, but he is not in love with her. This whole passage proves it. You wouldn't think of another female if you were head over heels for someone already.

We had Cassian and Emerie's interactions yet nothing was romantically coded there. Even Cassian was thinking of Nesta half of the time. But here is a whole different case.

[emery-shaw]

Brunch | | Arden & Emery & Lucas

Characters: Lucas Adams + Emery Gardener + Arden Oliver Date: Friday 3 August, 2018 Location: Cafe just off campus

Arden sat in their usual booth, tapping her fingers impatiently against the tabletop as she waited for Emery to make an appearance. Whilst their brunch was a weekly occurrence, Emery had been unusually strange when texting to confirm that he could still attend. He had mentioned that he was bringing someone with him, however had refused to give her anymore details. When Emery finally arrived and slid into the booth directly opposite her, she immediately narrowed her eyes at him. "Hurry up and spill the beans before your mystery guest arrives", she demanded.

Emery knew that Arden would ask a lot of questions so he wasn't surprised when she didn't even say hello. "Hi Arden, it's nice to see you. You're looking really pretty today", he said pointedly. "You need to be on your best behaviour, okay? I've invited Lucas to join us and it's really important that you guys get along", Em said quickly, needing to update Arden before Lucas joined them. "I'm trying to show him that I've changed, alright? That he's not wrong to give me another chance because I'm not going to keep him a secret again". Em stopped talking abruptly when he saw Lucas walk in, a fond smile teasing his lips as he waved his ex-boyfriend over to their table.

Lucas wasn't very sure about this. He wasn't sure if he should be there but he was there and though he was tired at least he made it. Walking in, he saw the face of his ex, walking over slowly as he feared whom the other person was. Turning to face them though, Lucas smiled. "hey Arden, nice to see ya." Slipping in by Emery and nodding to the other boy.

Arden smiled widely when she saw Lucas. "I'm glad you could join us", she said, genuinely meaning her words. "Em has been pretty nervous about introducing us. Right before you got here, he was giving me a lecture about being on my best behaviour", Arden teased the two boys.

Emery winced when Arden started teasing him. "That was supposed to be a secret lecture, Arden!" he reminded her, his cheeks heating up. "I didn't want her to scare you off by asking all these annoying questions", he explained to Lucas. "I know you two already know each other but Arden, this is Lucas, the guy that I've been telling you about. Lucas, this is Arden, my best friend".

Lucas looked over to Emery as he introduced them. "Yeah we have met and you've been talking about me?" His brow raised as the waitress came with their menus. Smirking, he looked his over and nudged at Emery a bit. "Also, Arden, you can ask anything you want to ask. Don't let Princess over here stop you."

Arden smirked when Lucas gave her full permission to ask questions. "He hasn't stopped talking about you". She knew that Emery would berate her for embarrassing him later but right now, it was worth it. "I do have one very important question, actually. Do you have any embarrassing photos of Emery from high school?"

Emery cursed under his breath. "This was a terrible idea", he complained, unable to hide his blush. He had a strong feeling that this brunch was going to cause him to die from embarrassment. "I may have mentioned you once or twice", he admitted.

Emery cursed under his breath. "This was a terrible idea", he complained, unable to hide his blush. He had a strong feeling that this brunch was going to cause him to die from embarrassment. "I may have mentioned you once or twice", he admitted.

Lucas "uh huh,  whatever you say. " Lucas smirking to Emery.  Turning back to Arden, he pulled his phone out. Showing her the whole folder for emery pictures. "You look and see if you think any of them. Are embarrassing. "

Arden had spent a lot of time around Emery but there was something different about him when he was around Lucas. He just seemed more relaxed; more comfortable. It was actually really nice to see. Arden eagerly reached for the phone and started scrolling through the images. "Damn it, he looks kind of cute in most of these pictures. There's hardly any blackmail material", she said with a sigh.

Emery looked at the phone with curiosity as Lucas passed it to Arden. "You can't tease me for talking about you when you seemed to have saved every single picture from our relationship", he pointed out. Honestly, he was flattered that Lucas hadn't erased all reminders of him when they had broken up. "Arden, give Lucas back his phone. You're the last person in the world who should be trusted with photos from my teenage years".

Lucas scoffed.  "I can and I will,  why would I delete photos?  Told you I still love you. " He didn't care if Arden was there,  he would say it out loud in front of her.

Arden froze for a second, staring at Lucas and Emery like they were a form of entertainment. She had never seen this side of her best friend before and honestly, she felt like she wasn't /supposed/ to be seeing the soft, fond expression on Em's face. It was something private; something that was just for the two of them. Arden dropped her gaze and stared intently at the menu.

Emery stared at Lucas as he so openly said that he loved him. "Am I allowed to say it back?" he asked. His feelings for Lucas hadn't changed but he didn't want to scare Lucas by coming on too strong. "Because I do, you know", Em added, his eyes filled with warmth and affection as he looked at his ex-boyfriend.

Lucas "it's a free country,  you can stay what you want to say. " Lucas not letting his eyes leave the menu.  He knew how emery was looking at him but there were still things in the way. "So Arden,  how you been? "

Arden glanced up at Lucas when he changed the subject and asked how she was. "The same as always, really. My friend Lovey and I spent last night eating vegan ice cream and binge watching Gossip Girl so I'm a little more relaxed than I usually am", she said with a small smile. "How are you?"

Emery wanted to say the words but bit his tongue. Lucas was intentionally avoiding his gaze and whilst Emery understood why, he didn't want to say those three little words when they were in such a confusing and fragile state. Instead, he said nothing and picked up his own menu, trying to hide the fact that he was stung by the perceived rejection.

Lucas nodded to her. "Sounds like a good night to me,  spending time with a friend and all. " The waitress taking their orders,  he reached over and took Emery's hand as Arden talked.

Arden nodded in agreement as she placed her order. "Lovey and Em are basically the only two people that can force me to take a break from studying. I'd probably burn out without the two of them", she admitted.

Emery smiled slightly when Lucas took his hand but didn't comment on it, knowing that Lucas would likely pull away if he said anything. "Actually, I think it's the vegan ice cream that pulls you away from your study", he joked.

Lucas smirked a bit. "Hold on,  just caught on to this.. Vegan?  Really? So you gonna fear about me eating my eggs and all?" He wasn't looking to offend the girl but at the same time,  he liked his protein.

Arden rolled her eyes at the comment. "You can eat whatever you like. I watch Em stuff his face with bacon at least once a week so you aren't going to get a lecture from me", she assured him. "My diet isn't exactly by choice. I have a few food allergies and in the end, it just worked out easier to stick to a vegan diet than constantly stress about whether a particular food was going to cause a reaction", Arden explained.

Emery laughed at Lucas' comment. "Arden's more likely to complain about how quickly we scoff our food, not what we're shoveling into our faces", he added.

Lucas smiled,  even laughing a bit as she explained more and emery helped. He wasn't sure what to say,  wondering if the girl wanted to ask more. Turning to Emery,  he smiled a bit. "Anything else you two want to ask of me? "

Arden thought for a moment before speaking again. "I know you two have still got a lot of shit to figure out but I like you, Lucas. I hope you stick around", she said simply.

Emery widened his eyes in fake shock when Arden said something genuinely sweet. "Coming from Arden, that's the highest of compliments", he teased. "For what it's worth, I hope you stick around too".

Lucas looked back to her. "I don't plan on leaving,  this is one of the best schools around and I'd like to get a good education.. Plus,  I found something here. "

Arden stared at Lucas for a few moments before nodding her head in approval. "Smart and good looking. Em, you've got a good taste in guys", Arden stated. "Well, you've got a standing invitation for brunch so you can join us whenever you like".

Emery honestly couldn't have imagined this going much better. Arden and Lucas genuinely seemed to like each other. "Yeah, I do. I'm not going to fuck it up again", he said seriously. "Maybe Lovey can come the next brunch, too. I think it's important that she meets Lucas too". Arden and Lovey were basically his Monarch family.

Lucas shrugged,  smiling to himself more. "I might take you up on that. But not sure, yet. The jury is out. " Though he knew he'd come again. Their food arriving,  Lucas sat back and started to eat quietly.

Arden knew that Lucas would come to brunch again, even if he tried to pretend that his mind wasn't already made up. "Fair enough", Arden said simply, smiling at the waitress as her food was placed in front of her. "When you've had a little more time to settle in, I want to pick your brain about some of your classes. I'm thinking that I should maybe take a few psych classes or at least read some of the textbooks so that I have more of an understanding of human behaviour".

Emery was starving by the time the food arrived and quickly started eating. "When I told you to develop some interests outside of law, this isn't what I was talking about", he teased his friend. "Seriously, she's not kidding. She'll actually invite herself to your dorm room to read your textbooks. She's crazy", he told Lucas

Lucas raised his brow to both of them. "Girl you need new hobbies. You need to get out and play some sport or go for a run. " Teasing her of course as he ate,  covering his mouth as well.

Arden narrowed her eyes at the two boys as they teased her. "Hey, I do have hobbies! I'm on the speech and debate team and the LGBTQ + club. I'm also a member of the swimming and diving team; and the track and field team. I have a diverse range of interests", Arden defended herself.

Emery laughed loudly as Arden listed off her extracurricular activities. "That just sounds like you're reading out your resume", he teased.

Lucas laughed as well. "He's right,  it does sound like that. When was the last night you just went out dancing to drinking?  I think we need to take you out one night. The three of us,  Sunday would work. How about it? "

Arden glared at Emery and Lucas as they both teased her lack of work/life balance. "There was that time when Lovey dragged me on a bar crawl!" she triumphantly declared. "I suppose Sunday would work... I don't have any classes until 2pm on Monday".

Emery couldn't stop laughing. "If you're talking about the time you two went drinking, barged into my bedroom at 3am and insisted that I teach you how to twerk, that was at least three months ago", he pointed out through his laughter.

Lucas "Sunday then were going out and no arguing from either of you. " Lucas already having a plan in mind. With his brunch done,  Lucas sat back and sipped on his juice. He didn't want it to end but he knew he had things to do as well.

Arden knew there was no point in arguing. "What's the dress code? I just want to know how much of an effort I've got to make", Arden explained.

Emery smiled fondly at Lucas and Arden as they made plans for Sunday. "No arguments from me", he said simply as he finished his meal. He nodded at the waitress so that she would bring over their bill.

Lucas "just be you and be comfy. " Lucas pointed out to her,  then looked to emery. "You're coming out too,  you know. You need to chill too. "

Arden nodded to herself, mentally reviewing her wardrobe in an attempt to decide what she wanted to wear. It was a simple dress code but she knew she would end up asking one of her sisters for help. "Alright, fine. I'll find an outfit and I won't complain too much about being dragged out for the night".

Emery rolled his eyes when Lucas said that he needed to chill as well. "What are you talking about? I'm the most chill person at this table!" he protested.

Lucas rolled his eyes,  slipping from the booth. "Good,  then I'll see you both Sunday night,  meet me outside of my dorm,  we can go from there. " Giving them both a kind smile. "Thanks for breakfast and nice seeing you Arden"

Arden smiled and raised a hand in a goodbye gesture when Lucas got up to leave. "Nice seeing you too", she said with a smile as Lucas walked out. "Seriously, you need to fix things with him", Arden told Emery firmly after Lucas was out of earshot.

Emery waved goodbye, his eyes on Lucas' retreating form as he left the cafe. "Trust me, I'm trying", he told Arden. He quickly paid the bill and the two of them left the cafe together.

[heatofthemomentfanfic]

Short

Miami in December. A fun time. Maya was hosting a private Christmas party for her company. Love Towns. She wanted fun. That’s what she got. She begged me to come. Support her. Get away from freezing home.

So I did. First flight out of YYZ.

Toying with my hair. Tilting my head. My eyes moving constantly on my outfit. Sticking with it in the end. Naughty and nice.

An intimate dinner with my cousins. Crystal, Taylor, Bria and Maya. Laughs, wine, full course meals. A classy pregame for tonight’s festivities.

Maya’s night. Her team was amazing. A tight knit team that meshed together like family. The location was great. A mansion. Strobe lights set to the mood. A pool in the backyard with mermaids. String lights above your head. A fairytale dream come to life. A garden haven like that scene from Peter Pan.

A few celebrities were here. A few good bloggers. Nothing unusual. A female DJ to set the mood perfectly. A videographer moved gracefully. Capturing the right moments.

Lost in my own world. Dancing carelessly. Taking photos. Networking. Drinking. Living freely.

Maya made her toast for the night. Gratitude and thankful. Overwhelmed with emotions but happiness summed it up. More to come. A better future for sure.

Walking to the open bar. Spotting a familiar face in the sea of familiar friends. My heart sank...just a little. Turning to a different bar. Erasing what I saw. Trying to become invisible. I didn’t need to see him. Our time ended. It was almost too perfect to be true. Who am I kidding? I gave up on him. His idea of love wasn’t mature. He wasn’t ready. He wasn’t what I needed.

The Boy didn’t take that well. He wrote a few words about me. Words he didn’t feel comfortable texting right away. Wondering where have I been? Recalling conversations of young infatuation; he used to be on my mind constantly. What a time.

Distracting myself again. Remembering where I was and why I was here. A sense of calm came back. Unbothered. Leaving back to hotel with Bria.

A morning workout like usual. Brunch outside with umbrellas and robes. Bottomless mimosas and twerking. A good time that anyone would want to join. A trip to Wynwood Art District. Photos of course to emphasize on our art. Art Basel activities wrapped up early. A yacht party to end the night.

Once was luck. Twice was supposed to be.

Brown eyes piercing into each other. Complete thoughts were blocked by me. He couldn’t read me. He couldn’t express himself how he wanted. He felt like there was more to tell. Another part of him was over and done with me. Ha, I found that hard to believe.

We were across the room. Smiling with the same effort. I never made it to his side nor did he make it to mine. No words were said. I drank my white wine.

My fun came to an end. Work called me. Facing the bitter cold was terrible. It was still home. I couldn’t trade it. Maybe New York if I had to move. Atlanta was also an option. I met someone out there. A beautiful man who wanted to offer the world; the world I dreamed of. I declined for Aubrey. He had more value at the time. I guess I saw happiness in him that he couldn’t put into motion.

Sitting at work preoccupied. Looking through important flies. Classic music playing lowly. The office phone rang. Making immediate eye contact with Jennifer.

“You have a call from Drake. Would you like to take it or should I tell him you’re busy?”

“I’ll take it.” A confident wink. I knew silence wouldn’t last long. “Thanks Jen.”

In seconds, the call transferred. “What can I do for you, Mr. Graham?”

“I didn’t expect you to answer.”

A careless shrug. “You’re not disappointed, are you? I can always let you leave a message.”

“Dinner tonight at Fring’s.”

My eyebrows raised. “Why?”

“You know the answer.”

“Do you know the context of the question?”

“You’re asking a lot of questions instead of saying yes.”

“This isn’t a date.” I had to clarify nothing.

“We could make this a thing.” I could read his smirk.

“It was a thing….that ended. I have plans.” Plans with myself. Plans of self care. Face masks, glass of wine, work on the side.

“Whenever you don’t have plans, you should reschedule with me.”

“I’ll keep you in mind.” Ending the conversation there. I won’t let him get carried away.

Self care Wednesday night. I owe it to myself. No one bothered me. Peace and clarity in my mind. I waited for the weekend. Demanding what I could. He accepted the offer.

I stood with a glass of red wine. Staring at the CN Tower lit brightly from his glass windows. Another rental for his liking. Perfection was his thing.

“Why?” I turned to him. Staring up slightly at his tall stature. His eyes were tired. I hit that right on the nose.

A soft smile. “You’re here because you want to be here.”

“Why did you want to see me?”

“For the same reason, I’ve always wanted to see you.” He missed me. He couldn’t get through to me through texting or calling. The atmosphere would be different.

“Well, I’m doing fine.” My eyes went back to the view. I tried to reassure him. “What made you worry?”

“I didn’t like our ending. It wasn’t an end. It just fizzed out….and it shouldn’t have.”

My eyebrow raised. “Why not? You were not going to put in the necessary effort. I wasn’t trying to be the heat of the moment or another phase. Phases are cycles and I can’t do that with someone I love.”

His cocky grin made me roll my eyes. “Why didn’t you say that?”

“You never reciprocated like you meant it. What do you want?” The side of my face rested against the glass.

“Can you wait on me?” Something about his words were sad. I stared up at him.

“Do you even want me?” An annoying sigh left his lips. “Seriously. Asking me that is pointless at this point. You can have whatever you want whenever you’re ready. So why put me here? If you want sex then say that. I’m not going to keep this up with you….especially when you know what you want.”

“You can’t handle this life.”

My eyes rolled. I placed my glass on a table. Walking by him to leave. He grabbed him before I could leave the room. Picking me up into his arms. Kissing with love. Taking me to his bed. All at the same time.

I stopped him. “If I can’t handle this life, then I won’t be here. I’m not gonna fall in love with you.”

Removing myself from him. Realizing that this has to be the last time. I can’t come at his every call. I have to leave him alone. I was doing so well.

His thumb brushed against my cheek. I realized I was crying. I pushed his thumb away. I hated him. I hated that he wasn’t ready. I hated that he wasn’t ready for me. I wanted to be there for him. That was the honest truth. That was the twisted false sense of reality,

“Zhuri….” He was confused as well. “Talk to me.”

“I can’t.” Shaking my head. “I can’t just be here waiting for you. I can’t. I can’t just wait anymore. I’m sorry if that’s selfish. I’m just tired. I can’t give you what we’ve always wanted. There’s nothing romantic about this...whatever this is.”

“Is this the end? Are you really over and done with me? Is this what you want?” His tone was relaxed. He wasn’t surprised. This wasn’t his first rodeo. I knew this.

“It’s over. We can be cordial somewhere down the road if that’s what is meant for us. I’m done with you. I’m done waiting for you. Trust me, I don’t want to be but I can’t continue to sacrifice when you’ve never offered to sacrifice anything. I’ll always love you and I won’t ever stop but I can’t be in love with you anymore.”

All of strength was used. A weight lifted off of my shoulders. I held in that thought very tightly. It hurt more than I imagined.

He let me go. I let him go.

Years later, we bump into each other. Two different people with two different lives. I presume he was happy. He met this girl from Toronto. They were in love happily. He stopped doing music. He was strictly business man. One of the greatest the city has ever seen.

As for me, I was married to a pediatrician. He is my best friend. He has made me so happy. We travel whenever we can. We moved into a house last month. We have a beautiful baby girl together. Emery Sade Parker. She’s my everything.

Yet, we stood glancing at each other from across the room. It was Maya’s baby shower. She was expecting baby number two with Lou. She was glowing with joy for many reasons.

We haven’t seen each other in years. He was mad at me last time I recalled. Rather, mad and hurt simultaneously because he wasn’t invited to my wedding. He didn’t find out about it until months after the wedding that I was with someone. Inviting him wasn’t the best for either of us. It would just be a reminder that it could’ve been us and I’m happy now.

Hugging him tightly was nostalgic. Inhaling his scent that was his. The hug lasted longer than I expected. It couldn’t be misinterpreted to mean anything else.

A quiet smile between us like giddy kids. “You look amazing.” His charm still present.

“Somehow your beard has aged better than you.” A cheesy comment to make him laugh.

“I’m trying age like your pops. He’s a legend.” Our eyes fell on my parents. A goal.

“You’re getting there.” A soft smile. I wanted to walk away. His girlfriend was approaching.

“Maya told me, you had a baby girl.” I kept my life extremely private...from Aubrey. I knew my family still brought me up to him. Pictures were the way to my life.

“Yeah. Emery.” I missed her and her dad. She had a cold and couldn’t fly out to L.A. Aryan wouldn’t allow the traveling risk.

“Hey, you must be Zhuri.” A beautiful black woman stood across from me. Her hand extended.

“Yeah, and you are….Ivy. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Shaking hands. “I’m gonna go get these games started.”

One last look at Aubrey. He was happy but I could feel his longing to talk to me. It hurt him and he hurt me. We were going to move away from this. It was best for both of us.

He was never going to leave my life. He was apart of my family’s life. I was fine with that. I wasn’t shaky or hesitant about Aryan knowing about him. We coexist...as two different people with two different lives.

[ryuichifoxe]

(Adding your reply here anon because it's lengthy and so is my own haha.)

For the next few weeks, it's just silence. No more missing packages, the cover is put back in it's place and it's as if nothing has happened at all.

At first the eerie quiet is suffocating, charged with anxiety and paranoia. Constantly looking behind, making sure that you are not followed, that nobody is watching is exhausting. It's like after the Farm all over again. The days slowly drag on, but having to wake up to a panic attack each night, so severe that you actually throw up and want to claw your face off and just hide, is doing wonders to one's sanity. Not going up at all helps, it's kind of grounding, and calming to be able to hide in the shadows. Though he misses being able to stuff his face full of donuts so much. The lair is still safe, hasn't been compromised yet, and that is the important part.

When the nerves have had time to settle, and he doesn't feel like shit everyday it's time to investigate. From a safe distance and taking every precaution he can, erasing every trace. Hopefully the mechanic lowered his guard in the meantime and thinks the silence meant that the threat has been successfully scared away. He starts writing e-mails from a throwaway address, asking for advice about mods that are exhaustingly mundane, and he already knows the answer to. Just to see how he reacts in normal circumstances. Then it's looking up online reviews, profiles for the shop and basically everything he can put his hands on. After that only the hard part is left, trying to profile the mechanic himself, which is not easy considering it seems like he does not make housecalls, which would open up the rather dangerous possibility of sneaking into the shop. Now that would be a bold move. And stupid, scratch that. So it's watching from a distance, from the shadows of dark alleyways as Em goes grocery shopping once in a blue moon, and if he so much as glances his way, he is out and gone. Watching him work and tinker late into the night from the shop window is kind of fascinating. The light inside painting everything in gold, while the dark envelops him outside, taking care to be in the blindspot of the cameras.

Then he makes and appointment from another throwaway e-mail address for just a quick check-up. Late into the night, as late as Em is willing to let him push without getting suspicious.

Deep breaths. You got this. Keep your walls up. If it goes to shit, you still have an out.

He arrives fifteen minutes late to the agreed time, because he needed that to have another panic attack in an alley.

How can you be so fucking stupid.

But it's too late; he is already in, looking around in the vaguely familiar interior, taking in everything he can. A man in his late twenties, light stubble on his face, except for a scar on his right cheek, prominent cheekbones, familiar dark circles under the eyes, light brown, almost tan skin. He has dark brown, chin-length straight hair, but most of it is covered by a beanie on his head. His eyes are a strange hue, somewhere between green and brown. He holds himself stiff and upright, and is a few inches shorter than Emery. He put away his sewer rat clothes, for grunge streetwear that is nondescript enough. Jeans, boots, a long sleeved shirt and black slim ankle length coat.

“Hello, hi, sorry, I know I am late, there was an accident at the main road, and I had to come the long way.”

He is still looking around, glancing at him but not making direct eye contact, heading his way and sitting down at the chair he saw the other clients use.

Time of the truth, I wonder if he recognizes?

He shrugs out of the coat, rolls up the skin-tight shirt sleeve revealing his mechanical right hand, and laying it in front of Emery on the table. As he sees him focus on it, he turns to look at his face directly for the first time.

“So I have a little problem with the thing's grip strength, it needs to be adjusted. It makes for a challenging wank.”

Why the hell would you say this, this wasn't the plan and you are left handed anyway. Maybe he will smile, take the joke? Or he will think you are a pervert and haul your ass out of the shop like you deserve. What the fuck is wrong with you.

His attention is still glued to Em's face, looking for the tiniest twitch of his mouth, for a disgusted sneer, for an annoyed eyeroll, anything.

Life returned to normal and the paranoia eventually faded to it's usual, manageable level. Though Emery still toyed with the idea of relocating his business to another side of town, just to be safe. His neighbor, Maria, was horrified when he brought it up one afternoon.

Who's gonna feed you? Bring you snacks that won't rot your teeth? Make sure you take an actual break at noon??

First of all, he's a grown man. Not even human. Fully capable of running a business and buying his own food. So what if it was mostly sugar and high fructose corn syrup? It helped him stay focused. But the thought of needlessly worrying this older woman he's known for two years, and inconveniencing one of his elderly clients, ultimately guilt him into staying put. He'd just have to up security and stay vigilant. Besides, he knew how to disappear if push came to shove.

It didn't.

The feeling of being watched occasionally, sure, but he tried not to obsess over it too much. He'd already ruled out the Farm, as far as the thief went. Emery doubted anyone worth worrying over would abduct him walking home on a brightly lit street, convenience store concha in one hand and bottle of strawberries and crème liqueur in the other.

On second thought, maybe Maria was right to worry.

But everything felt the way it did before the thefts began. Work never slowed down, now without the added customer service task of rescheduling the same two appointments over and over. Emails to respond to, new clients to pencil in. The latest is running behind schedule. It's always the last job of the night.

He doesn't let the frustration show when his client finally shows. Doesn't immediately look his way, offers a distracted hum in acknowledgment until he's finished filling out a form on his laptop. Mind not open but unguarded, no reason to have his shields at 100%. With how many people come and go in the shop nowadays, it was a hard learned lesson in burnout.

“What's a Friday night in Los Diablos without a pileup on the freeway.”

Even after he turns his focus to the man in his shop, there's no eye contact. He expected the client to move to the chair, heard the leather give under his weight. Instead, his eyes go to the hand on the table and the way it connects to the rest of the arm. His thoughts racing, cataloging the wear and tear long before he's close enough to even pull up a chair. He's mid-reach when the words register in his brain and Em's head jerks up to finally, finally look him in the eyes, visibly caught off guard by the joke.

It's impossible to miss how every muscle in the seated man's body tenses. Crude humor. Nervous reflex.

“Sounds like you're having a real hard time then,” he jokes, grin curling slightly more to the right. Most people found it charming and make an effort to calm down. “Gonna pop the shells off and take a look, but if your grip is weak then it sounds like a sensor issue. Maybe a loose cable. Relax, alright?”

When Emery says it, the goal is to do what he always does. Extend his mind, reassure his client of no ill intent. That he can be trusted. He won't sweep their unspoken concerns under the rug or chalk it up to the most expensive part being faulty.

Only to hit a roadblock. A familiar one.

He doesn't move. Can't. It's embarrassing to admit how much of a struggle it is to keep his breathing steady. Simply sits there, staring at the inner mechanics of the palm he removed the shell from, until he's able to compose himself. The intrusion to his mind is carefully pulled back, not yanked.

“Relax.” Em isn't sure why he repeats it, or who benefits more from hearing it at this point. But his tongue feels heavy behind his teeth and he has a choice to make. A skittish glance up at an equally nervous face, and the decision is made. Back to work with no sudden movements, just careful fingers. “Didn't think you'd actually show up. I take it this is why you singled my shop out."

Shit. What the hell.

Who the heck is this lunatic, who follows a stanger into the gutter?! Anyone sane would have called the police. Should’ve known, the tracker was a warning not a challange. Oh well the sewer system under the city is like a labyrinth, he will either turn back after a while or wander into his death.

Taking the advantages of the home turf, he can focus on hiding in the shadows, taking care not to make any noise as he continues to head back home. Luckily they don’t have visual on each other yet, and from the sound of the cursing the mechanic is still at the main entrance.

As much as I don’t like to pry I will have to keep a tab on him.

But as he extends his consciousness, and something actually reaches back for once, as if searching for him, he has to stop in his tracks. Sheer panic settles heavily in his stomach, cold sweat immediately drenching his back, a metal right hand landing on his mouth to stiffle a surprised noise escaping.

Quickly, I need to shut this down. But it is too late, he must have felt it too, the strange recognition in each other instead of the expected.

Paniced thoughts start to rush around in his head as he raises the mental walls, trying to shield himself of any intrusion, listening closely.

Was I fast enough? What do I do, who the hell is this, he was just a mechanic! What now?!

[Thank you for extending the character limit <3] -✘

There.

He shifts, facing the direction where his consciousness brushed against another.

Contact. Brief, almost reaching, familiar, dangerous, and then it's ripped away. The recoil is immediate; physical and mental. As if he'd placed his hand directly on a hot burner. It takes a considerable amount of effort to force his shields back in place, the panic overriding his anger bleeding through the cracks until the last piece seals shut.

Idiot! Couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? You should've relocated when this started, instead of thinking you had any advantage. Didn't want to leave. Let yourself get too comfortable, feel too human. Arrogant. Run. Get out.

Stumbling, Emery keeps his eyes trained forward and grabs for the rungs he know lead topside. A tentative step, waiting to hear anything, and then he's moving. Up.

Telepath in the sewer. A telepath--Farm? No. They wouldn't show their hand, not like this. Taunting isn't their style. He would've already been dragged off if this were the directive. It should settle his nerves but the nausea won't subside.

Still, Emery hesitates at the top of the ladder and glances back to where he last sensed the thief.

“I know you're still there.” It's an assumption, one he's not willing to test by mentally reaching out again. Safe bet though, since he hadn't heard any movement after the contact.

Are they just as unnerved?

Em steadies himself by pulling at the anger from earlier, letting it harden his voice. There's an edge he can't quite shake. “You want something, you come in through the front like the rest, got it? Steal my shit again and I will find you.” Quieter. “And don't think you're safe because you're in the sewer.”

Was it a threat? A strange olive branch? Both. Neither? He's not sure. With any luck, neither will they and this problem will resolve itself with them fucking off forever.

Emery hoists himself out but pauses when reaching for the cover. It's his eyes making shapes out of shadows, has to be. He bites his lip and, like many of his choices tonight, stupidly leaves it open. Their little rat game is up anyway. Telepathy's out of the bag too. For both of them. That has the nausea rearing it's head again, so he takes one last look, pulls his shields tighter, and finally breaks for the open window to his shop.

He needs to walk, shake this off. Grab something sweet and bottle of schnapps.

[lordxwyatt-blog]

On Wyatt Clarke’s bedside table is a disfigured package wrapped in silver paper, with the name ‘Mr. Clarke’ printed neatly in dark green sharpie. Inside the package is two voodoo dolls: one doll of his sister, Amara, and one doll of the woman he loves, Emery. Both dolls are splattered in blood.

For those who know Wyatt completely, they’re aware of the fact that he has pretty good senses. Having been trained by his father at an early age to strengthen these senses had its own ups and downs, especially with him being a P.E teacher and all. It was a curse to walk into the gym and almost pass out from the odours his not-so-cleanly students possessed; so him returning to his room with a peculiar package on his beside table with an unpleasant aroma of copper set off the alarm bells in his head. 

“Hello?” he called out, afraid the sound of his rapidly beating heart would give him away were there an intruder still present in his room. Ears strained to the point where he was sure he could even hear the static noise of one of the other staff members’ tellies from down the hall, Wyatt was sure that whoever had the pleasure of delivering him such package was long gone by now. Step after step, he closed the distance between himself and his bedside table, gaze locked on his name. ‘Mr Clarke.’ From what he understood, the package was most likely sent by a student seeing as none of his colleagues referred to him as such, but ‘Wyatt’. 

At this point, the coppery smell was borderline overwhelming, almost convincing Wyatt not to open up the package that awaited him ever so patiently. Some part of him knew that he was going to regret opening it but he had an eerie feeling that if he wasn’t going to open it himself, someone could accidentally stumble upon it in his absence. Whatever was inside was covered with blood; that, he knew for sure. As if the package were aligned with explosives, Wyatt took caution in stripping it of its silver paper, unsealing the secret it held in store for him.

Scarlet coloured his vision, a slick splatter of blood covering two dolls which he couldn’t quite make out at first. Primarily, he had thought it was a cruel message sent to him concerning the two girls, Eve and Poppy; an inside joke only he and the one responsible for their disappearance (as well as Gunner’s) shared. But getting a closer look with blood on his hands, the two dolls in his head became realistic, having the faces of the two most important females in his life: Amara and Emery. What frightened him even more was the fact that they were voodoo dolls and everyone knew whatever happened to voodoo dolls happened to the one they resembled so the blood splattered over them had Wyatt panic. He wanted to call the both of them up and keep them in his sights forever but he knew that would only make matters worse.

They couldn’t see him like this– no one could.

The dolls fell to the ground as he lost his grasp on them, the blood on his hands now seeming to blind him. He rushed to the bathroom and tried to erase his skin of the scarlet colour it threatened to stain permanently, biting hard into his lip as concern and pain seeped into his being. Did this mean that Amara and Emery’s blood was going to be on his hands, as well as Gunner’s– was the blood Gunner’s? He was on the verge of a breakdown, rushing back out into the room to the sight of the dolls on the carpet near his bed, forcing himself to clear up the mess that he’d made in his moment of clumsiness. 

The harder he scrubbed the carpet, the further the bloodstain seemed to spread out. At this point, Wyatt had a cold film of sweat covering his body, heart beating fast as he refrained from letting this ‘gift’ assist him in shedding a tear. Doors locked, as well as the windows, he sat in his room trying to clean up the mess he had made, the blood and disinfectant laced together to create an aroma he knew he wouldn’t forget. 

Some say that he is still scrubbing his carpet of the blood to this day.

[yazthebookish]

This needs to be said. People who perpetuate the theory that gwyn is manipulating people with her “lightsinger powers” really need to find some compassion. Theyre totally fine taking a kind and brave character, someone whos been violated in one of the worst ways possible, and have her negatively influence people without their permission. See the sick irony in that? And then they justify this theory by saying oh she doesnt know shes doing it. Imagine how horrible gwyn would feel if she found out

Hello anon🤍

I am not completely excluding the Lightsinger theory but when I say that I mean the possibility of Gwyn being connected to an ancestor that was one but that's about it.

However, Gwyn is 3/4 High Fae. Her grandmother was a River Nymph residing in the Spring Court's rivers. Her grandmother was most definitely not a Lightsinger or else she would've murdered the Autumn Court High Fae she seduced and had a baby with + she would've been killed by Tamlin to protect his court. So.. even if she had a very distant Lightsinger ancestor "which is unlikely since Lightsingers live in the Bog" she would've had a very weak Lightsinger blood running through her. Did we forget that Water Wraiths also reside in the Spring Court? Gwyn's grandmother could be just a River Nymph in every sense of the word.

The main reason that theory came into existence is because they're trying to find an explanation about Azriel and his shadows being drawn to Gwyn, because it's preposterous to even think that Azriel genuinely likes her. They use that to say that she had lured him to the ring or lured him next day to give the necklace to Clotho. Poor Gwyn didn't even expect him to be in the ring.

Give a little credit to Azriel's shadows, they feel and hear things others can't and so they would've picked up on something evil emitting from Gwyn if she was a "Lightsinger", they won't dance or sing for her. I wrote down a theory that the reason his shadows dance and sing for her is the possibility of a mating bond which we know could likely be true because: 1). Azriel and Gwyn are nearly equals with many parallels between them. 2). Musical references are always used in both TOG and ACOTAR for mating bonds. There is one beautiful description in TOG that calls the mating bond "The Song of the Soul".

Nothing in the book points out that she is unknowingly using her Lightsinger powers. As for when Nesta had a vision about the Harp during the service and Gwyn singing. Gwyn did mention that they found some very ancient songs to sing during the service, it's the songs that likely led Nesta to that vision. The only power Nesta detected from Gwyn is the crackling sort of energy, and this is another theory but crackling is often described for Fire and that ties her to the possibility of being related to the Vanserras.

In the end, I am against diminishing Gwyn's character. She is a SA survivor that many survivors relate to and are inspired by her inner strength and perseverance. She is a comfort character to many of us. She played a significant role in Nesta's healing. She has her own healing journey which we've yet to see and the grief she feels over her sister's death. She worked hard and pushed her friends to revive the Valkyries. Even with an arrow in her thigh, she wanted to stay with Nesta and face the Illyrian males rather than let her face them alone during the Blood Rite, Nesta had to knock her out. She is someone important to both Nesta and Emerie and they want the beautiful friendship that blossomed between them erased?

I haven't read a Lightsinger theory that did not push the "Gwyn is manipulating everyone" or "Gwyn is evil" agenda. It does not only upsets me but it disgusts me how far some fans are going with this theory and invalidate Gwyn's journey throughout ACOSF. Like, really? You'd think SJM would turn the character that she had introduced to celebrate the friendship and kindness one of her closest friends had shown her for her to turn Gwyn evil later?

To me, the Lightsinger theory is just a desperate attempt because they know SJM won't use a SA survivor to tease the readers about a false romance or use her as a plot-device so they're trying to bring down Gwyn in a way that makes it come off as if it's an innocent theory "which may or may not be the case but from what I have seen lately from the same theories, I know it's with an intent to diminish Gwyn". Sarah knows the backlash she will be subjected if she overstepped that line.

I think I have seen this around or someone told me but someone implied that she could be a "good Lightsinger". Did they miss the part when it was said that Lightsingers are literal monsters? How can her gifts as a Lightsinger be used when Lightsingers lure and kill for fun. Lightsingers and Shadowsingers do not even have the same powers even though the names are similar.

As you said anon, the fact that they imply Gwyn is using others behind their backs when she herself had her choice taken away and was violated.. a sick irony indeed.

[jvwhyte]

(A little off topic from the original post but i need to get this out lmao.)

I loved Lucien a lot, because he's white-passing, he represents an identity a lot of people struggle to find within books. The general ignorance of his race is so irritating on so many's levels, and it happens regularly with other characters too.

Emerie, for example:

“Her angular eyes and light brown skin suggested a heritage from another region, perhaps a recent ancestor from the Dawn Court.”

Emerie is canonically biracial, yet people ignore this. Her skin is Light brown, different to the other Illyrians who's skin is a golden brown (which suggests she's mixed) and her eyes 'angular' suggesting she's either got a parent or grandparent (more likely grandparent) that's Asian. I've even seen some people try and say she's Latina/Hispanic, which clearly is not the case.

She's also (obviously) Illyrian, which based off the real life Illyrians, suggests she's indigenous.

"The territory the Illyrians inhabited came to be known as Illyria to later Greek and Roman authors, who identified a territory that corresponds to most of Albania, Montenegro, Kosovo,[a] much of Croatia and Bosnia and Herzegovina, western and central Serbia and some parts of Slovenia between the Adriatic Sea in the west, the Drava river in the north, the Morava river in the east and in the south the Aous river or possibly the Ceraunian Mountains."

And while the exact race of the real Illyrians is still a debated topic, the Greek settlers in the central Adriatic islands in the early fourth century indiscriminately used the term 'Illyrians' to describe the indigenous population on the coast and hinterland as early as the fourth century BC.

Going based off this we can then assume that Emerie is Indigenous and Asian.

Also with Vassa:

"Golden brown":

She clearly has brown skin, so why draw her otherwise? She does has red hair and blue eyes, pointing to her perhaps also being biracial but that doesn't mean she's white!!

Back to lucien.

Lucien is bi-poc.

Helion is either Black/middle eastern.

LoA is white.

This makes him Biracial guys!!

Erasing characters identities is erasing representation. We have this amazing character who's biracial (and has a disability) who people love and we have another character who's a strong female role model who's poc (potentially lgbtq+ too!) who people see and adore. SJM isn't exactly known for her good representation so the representation we do have should not be brushed aside so we can white-wash our characters.

SJM also includes other super cool poc characters like Amren, Thesan, Varian, Cresseida, Tarquin, Nuala, Cerridwen and we have Rhys who is Bi-Poc.

Let's not take away these peoples identities, even if these are "just books", there are still real people who are the same race as these characters, who may be mixed/biracial (like myself) and by acting as though their identity is not important, it's ignoring the years of oppression these people have faced.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk, cheers and thanks.

people are saying lucien is not POC, do you know any posts that clarify this question?

Besides canon, yes! Here is a post from an official artist and @moononastring about the topic.

Lucien is Helion's son. Therefore, Lucien is not white.

I had a student a few semesters ago write an amazing argument about how she wasn't Latina enough for some people, and not white enough for others, and how organizations for people of color don't do enough to support bi-racial people. This is something to keep in mind when thinking about whether Lucien is "POC" enough. It's just an ironic turn of events that, when historically people couldn't be white enough due to the one-drop rule, now the opposite is true.