#is bad for me consistent would be a good neutral word to use instead

[underfeddemonboy]

I have this really weird and specific feeling I don't know where else to put or express.

So for me, about a good chunk of my food fixations, anxieties and worries are centered around timing more than anything else - calories for sure as well as amount and nutritional value, but the timing of food and consistency/frequency of it is just as vital to my ED brain as those other things are. To me, just eating very little and restricting very heavily without doing anything else would be horribly anxiety inducing because that would just bust your metabolism, wouldn't it? You'd be trapped in a cycle of eating little to nothing all the time, hitting constant plateaus for a very unsustainable weight loss that keeps yo-yoing back to higher weights. Every single time I've managed to get very underweight and stay that way has been because I managed to "hack" my metabolism by eating little, and restricting overall in my day, but making it so that my intake was spread out through the day and frequent - not eating anything for more than 3 hours gives me just as much anxiety, if not more, than eating more than 300kcals in one sitting, or eating any more than a small portion of fries. I also try to sliding scale my intake so it's proportional to how much of the day I have left - big breakfast, normal lunch, modest snack and small dinner, and the earlier I can keep all of these in my day, the better (ideal schedule would start at 8/9am, and dinner would be no later than 7pm). Only time I feel ok not keeping up a consistent intake is after dinner, which since I try to keep early I think might count as an intermittent fast?

Every single time I hear fellow ED people/friends talk about only eating once a day, trying to go without food as long as possible and putting their whole day's calorie allowance into one go, it makes me just want to start screaming "that's not how you do it!!! that's how you stay fat AND miserable, no wonder you're still at a healthy weight!!!!!!!". Of course I'd never do that - all of this stays locked firmly in my head, I'd hate to trigger someone else, push my own anxieties and paranoias onto them, or give diet tips/advice and risk making them sicker.

But still, I haven't really encountered this as much in the community? There's a lot of inherent understanding of the general fear of food, of eating at all, of certain foods, but I never hear people get as anxious about not eating and specifically metabolism

[gwemmieee]

Sometimes, I get involved in posts here that attract the terfs, and I peer in to make sure I block anyone who's highly likely to send me hate (which has already happened a lot in just over a year on tumblr), and it's hard for me to unpack how often terf blogs hide behind edgy language that I actually sort of agree with. Stuff like women's liberation, supremacy, etc.

I am afraid of men after how much and how consistently they have traumatized me. I sometimes feel like I hate men, but I don't like to assume and judge and hate people I don't know, so I don't trudge too far down that hole. But I genuinely do think that femininity is superior to masculinity, and I do think that masculinity as we know it is only a positive force when it's used to defend others from violence, and otherwise it is at best a neutral/centrist force. And I don't know if or when any of that will change, because I have no desire to go out of my way to be closer with any man I've met so far--at least no desire strong enough to overcome the fear and trauma. And that's really saying something considering that I'm sexually bi and can find men attractive.

And almost every time I look at a terf's page, it's filled with words that seem to see eye to eye with me. Stuff about women being better, men being predators, etc., but it's all so much more sweeping and generalizing and judgey than anything I'd say (in public). But sometimes when I'm in private and really frustrated, I'll say stuff like that too, so I get it. I also see fully positive stuff sometimes and I get excited! Just today, I saw one reblog some science debunking that biological women are weaker than biological men, and that was wonderful. But she hates trans women, so I still had to block her.

As I keep reading through their pages, most of it is just them policing other people. I find a lot of hateful stuff that contradicts feminine superiority, or that has nothing to do with it. They see people who are taking longer to grow up because they've been abused and had to spend time unlearning that abuse in order to not perpetuate it on others, and they talk about those people as if they're subhuman predators, as if there's some kind of race to be all the way grown up and they're a bad person for falling behind. They get irrationally angry at people over innocent terminology disagreements or not being their ideal kind of consumer. I don't actually see much hate thrown at masculinity at all--I see a lot more hate thrown at people who it seems like they are more likely to tolerate than men, but they throw vitriol instead because those people are just not quite good *enough* for them. "This is what's wrong with our community." "This is who we need to kick out because they're a problem." I also see a lot of them digging out a single social media post saying something extremely nasty out of rage, then doing this weird magic trick where they take this leap of logic into suddenly talking as if that person represents every single other member of whatever demographic they feel like putting down this time (usually transfems). And it's weird. I understand the irony that I'm doing a version of that right now, but the key difference is I'm talking about a political camp that people have voluntarily chosen to rally behind, not a gender identity that is intrinsic to their entire being.

It feels like they're confused. Like, the way they speak about men, women, masculinity, and femininity, I would be forgiven for suspecting that they genuinely think masculinity is just a Y chromosome and a penis and femininity is just an X chromosome and a vulva, and I'm really glad I have no clue what they would say about intersex folks because I don't expect anything pleasant. So it's like, they're saying this high level stuff about the superiority of femininity and the predatory nature of masculinity that I actually really identify with, but they're not basing it on actual femininity and masculinity like I am. They're not considering the deeper nuance and reality around how men and women tend to behave and how that affects where our identities lie. It seems like they really do cling to the delusion that having a penis at birth means you will always and only be a predator, while having a vulva at birth means you will always and only be perfect. And... that's just so sad and limiting and out of touch. Are any of them actually interacting with and trying to listen to anyone who challenges their bubbles of thought?

I think it says a lot that they feel so safe and empowered to shit on people in public in ways that to this day my repeatedly abused and abandoned ass is still terrified to do even in private most of the time. And I'm very frustrated that they have such a monopoly on public speech that can voice the more negative sides of my own feelings around my own trauma around masculinity. The only way I can feel better is by consciously choosing to believe that most lesbians aren't like these lesbians. That most sapphics don't tolerate hate, including this brand of it. We shouldn't be dwelling on hating masculinity. We should spend more time loving femininity.

[kakusu-shipping]

2 and 11 for your Mario S/I!!

Thankyou very much for asking!!!!!

My Mario S/I ref can be found Here and Info Here

2. How similar is your s/i to you? Are they a carbon copy, completely different or a mix of the two?

A lot of my S/Is are just straight me with a little idealization and a little warping due to just the nature of growing up somewhere different.

For my Mario S/I, he's a lot smarter than me, which isn't to say irl me is dumb, just not very good at retaining information, or using it to further a conclusion. My Mario S/I is, and is also very passionate about learning about the new world he lands in. (I like to think if I got isekaied I would be too but who knows)

He shares my special interest in Mushrooms, a lot of my taste in games, Bulling as a Love Language, Generally Chill Go with the Flow personality type, Fear of Bees, and a handful of other small traits that I don't wanna list too long.

He handles a bad situation way better than me. Like I said he's better at rationalizing and drawing conclusions, he's a lot more calm in a high stakes situation, good at talking something down, and reacting quickly to chaos.

For example in the events that'd be eventually rewritten as Paper Mario, Emile was the one to throw Luigi out of the castle, as he hung behind to find Toadsworth. He talks Bowser into instead of shoving him in the prison in his own castle to instead let him stay in his own room is the castle, and spends the rest of the game slowly sneaking all the trapped Toads out of said prison and back to his room until Mario storms the castle and saves them. I could never do all that, but he could, because he's cool under pressure and smooth with his words.

Side note this is also how my Mario S/I gets top surgery; He takes a very neutral stance to most schemes Bowser does, so when he was brought to Bowser for sneaking around the castle, and learned he had the Star Rod, he asked if he could get a wish, sense that's what the thing's for anyway. Bowser agreed as long as it wasn't something stupid like "I wish Mario had the power to defeat Bowser". "I wish for Top Surgery" is considered a Selfish wish by the Star Spirits and would never be granted, but Bowser did it, cause why not. He loves a selfish wish and is very Trans Rights

11. Does you s/i have one outfit they're always seen in or multiple?

He does have multiple outfits! Like Mario and Luigi he has all kinds of fits for different activities, not sports he doesn't do those, but like, Casual Wear and such. I actually drew us in a bunch of outfits you can see Here!

Though also like Mario and Luigi, I do typically just stick him in the Overalls look, for consistency sake. Either that or the basic Sona outfit of Big Orange Sweater

Oh! But actually a while ago I drew him in a few of my favorite Power Ups from the Main Series, I never posted it cause the image was more long than wide, and the sketches were pretty Eh in my opinion, but I'll post them now just for the sake of putting out all my art, even the stuff I'm not the proudest of.

The main concepts are his eyes and freckles change color to match the power ups, though he doesn't use them all that often sense he's an Adviser and not typically in any kind of direct line.

[iustitians]

ooc; worldbuilding - the state of Fontaine shortly before & after the Cataclysm (spoiler: it was bad)

Some of y’all know that I’ve already started kinda thinking and rambling about what Fontaine may have been like shortly before and after Neuvillette arrived and accepted the position of Iudex. I’ve already established a timeline of events in a previous headcanon post of mine: the Cataclysm happens ~500 years ago and Egeria dies, Focalors becomes Archon and comes up with her plan to combat the prophecy, Neuvillette becomes Iudex, not long after that the whole Narzissenkreuz Ordo shebang takes place, this indirectly results in the creation of Melusines, and some 20 years later he both brings the Melusines to Fontaine AND introduces his “series of institutional reforms,” as he calls it. We've got that, right? Good.

The rest under the cut because it's kinda long and rambly.

So here’s the thing. While some of those reforms may have concerned the Melusines - in between securing rights for them and making it possible for them to be employed in the Marechaussee Phantom - not all of them did. In fact, I believe most did not, and the same applies to the pushback and resistance that resulted. Yes, some of that was towards the Melusines and it was a serious issue, what with people literally throwing rocks at them, but from my understanding, the reforms Neuvillette introduced were on a fundamental level, possibly changing a lot about Fontaine’s political system. After all, simply bringing in some cute little half-dog-half-slug creechers wouldn’t badly damage the interests of multiple Fontainian factions.

Then again we’re talking about the nation that used to be ruled by its Archon, only for her to be lost in the Cataclysm. It then got Furina, who was just playing the role of the Archon and awaiting the grandest of trials, while the real successor made the Oratrice and locked herself up inside as she constructed a giant blade for her own head. Changes to the system would be necessary.

But. Something that made me wonder is that, even though some years did pass in that period, we’re still talking here about Neuvillette in his first century among humans, which means two important things. Firstly: if he still doesn’t feel like he has a solid grasp on both them and himself, he definitely did not have one back then. Secondly: he admitted that he was not particularly interested in humans in the beginning. It’s not like he didn’t care at all, but he could have just sat in his comfy chair and chilled, instead of creating more problems and stress for himself.

It’s worth noting here that, even though Neuvillette could easily become a dictator if he so desired - especially right now - he clearly has no intention of doing so. He views what he does as his duty, plain and simple, and is not that interested in consolidating power for himself. So the reforms had nothing to do with him being power-hungry. He briefly mentions that there were few people he could trust during that time, and I can imagine that he would have liked to change that if possible, but other than that…

I’m inclined to believe that he began to interfere because things were, plain and simple, bad.

Firstly, the old system that ends up uprooted as a result of Neuvillette’s reforms (and Vautrin’s revenge murder spree) is consistently referred to as a regime in his character quest. While the word does not have to have a negative meaning and connotation, it usually does while referring to a form of government, often standing next to words such as authoritarian and totalitarian. They could have used a simpler and more neutral word, such as system, and I’m choosing to believe that the decision to not do so was deliberate. This automatically paints it in a negative light when compared to the system set up later by Neuvillette. And it’s important to note that predominantly other characters use the term, not him - so this isn’t his attempt to color our opinion.

And secondly… While we don’t know every detail of Fontaine’s history, we do know of a few events that happened shortly before the Cataclysm, such as the Purge of Fleuve Cendre and the Siege of Poisson. Those names don’t sound like ones that would belong to pleasant events, do they? That’s because they don’t.

So now, for a quick history lesson: Fleuve Cendre used to be a basically lawless area, way worse than it is today. It was eventually taken over by one Eduardo Baker, who picked up a bronze pipe (aka the Ferryman) to “beat back the crocodiles, and then to protect the merchants from being extorted, harassed, and blackmailed by the gangs, resolving the disputes between Fleuve Cendre "compatriots," and blessing the newly wedded.” Of course, above ground it was decided that this situation could not last, and eventually the Maison Gardiennage raided the Fleuve Cendre and arrested many people there, including Eduardo and his entourage. This event became known as the Purge.

They were exiled to the desert - and no, I don’t know why they weren’t sent to the Fortress, but rather to freakin’ Sumeru, or what this says about international agreements between Fontaine and Sumeru regarding the former throwing its exiled criminals at the latter, but whatever - but they were rescued by Eduardo’s henchmen, seized the escorting Gardes as hostages, came back and occupied Poisson, from where they made a series of undisclosed “unreasonable demands”. This eventually culminated in the Siege of Poisson… which was basically a burning and a massacre. As a result of the intervention of the Marechaussee Hunters, the town was razed, many inhabitants were burned to death or killed in other ways, and Poisson never truly regained the glory it had back then.

Oh and by the way? Eduardo was the father of Jakob Ingold while the then-mayor of Poisson was the father of Rene de Petrichor, and after their fathers’ deaths, the two were sent to the Narzissenkreuz Institute. In other words, this whole shebang indirectly led to the entire Narzissenkreuz Ordo situation. And speaking of the Institute, can I just comment really quickly on how, at some point, someone decided that an affectionate but rather unintelligent Oceanid (Lyris didn’t understand causality and couldn’t count) and a retired Admiral of the Fontaine Navy were perfect candidates to run an orphanage for the children of disaster victims and criminals? Like dude, we all know that Fontaine’s child welfare services are a Big Yikes to this day, but apparently this situation has a history. Whew.

ANYWAY. What I wanted to say here is that both of those situations strike me as raids carried out by the authorities with little to no regard for the safety of civilians, especially the Siege of Poisson, considering its disastrous consequences. And these are just the two instances that we know about. This in combination with the use of the term regime paints an image of Fontaine as a rather… harsh and unforgiving place. The land of endless trials and unflinching justice, thrown into disarray after the calamitous Cataclysm and mourning its late Archon.

This is what Neuvillette would have encountered upon coming to Fontaine, and after allowing some years to pass and realizing that whatever authorities were in place at the time either couldn’t fix things, didn’t intend to, or just made them worse, he… basically decided, “damn. Even I don’t think you guys deserve this” and instigated his reforms.

I mean hell, according to his character stories, there was at least one point where he had to publicly clarify that he was not some kinda monster or demon sent to judge and punish all of Fontaine, only to instantly get accused of unending and dangerous ambitions - which does tell us a little about people’s attitude and mindset. I do personally headcanon that the aforementioned situation took place sometime around that period - late enough that the Fontainians realized he wasn’t a normal human due to the fact he wasn’t aging in spite of the passing of decades, early enough that there were still some tensions and stress in the society.

I do wonder and it is possible that part of it may have been due to his position actually being threatened, but I’m unsure on that. There are several mentions that the hardliners wanted him to give up more of his power, and I do believe that he, from the start, saw his position as the Iudex to be a task entrusted to him, and as such, losing it would have meant failure as far as he was concerned. So if the risk was of his power reduced to where he could no longer perform his duties, he would have reacted. He wasn’t interested in having more power, but he would refuse to have less of it. That said, the mentions of trying to force him to yield said power are all placed in time after the reforms were started by him, so I kinda see that more as a reaction to than the cause of everything. I am more inclined to believe that the reforms were a genuine attempt by Neuvillette to make things better, because they were not good. At all. And those who cared more about their cushy lives than anything else would have stirred up unrest in response, until first Carole the Melusine, and then the hardliners themselves paid for it with their lives.

So yeah! It was wack.

In short, if you think Fontaine has issues today, I think it used to be even worse.

[delurkr]

This was going to be a reblog of @dennisseyebrows 's post and related to @tatjana-fantasy 's comment but their post doesn't deserve to have whatever this is dumped onto it so I decided to make it separate lol

So maybe it's just because I'm all about ✨complexity✨ in characters but I mainly like to see the doubles as facets of the same people instead of Anthony's corrective imagination. Basically like Amy, Anne, and Angela are all separate people but they're also all Amy, all Anne, and all Angela to fill in the gaps of what we aren't shown. About Joseph and Amy, they're happily married indeed but maybe their consistently ideal interactions are more representative of moments James and Anne had/have instead of how they used to always be. This is going into headcanon territory, but with Tanya saying "they've been arguing since we were in diapers" and just with the two of them having such strong personalities my guess is that conflict alternating with kiss-and-make-up is normal for them and, while it's not great for the kids, doesn't necessarily mean anything serious until it does.

And I feel like it's a deliberate point of the game that we get 30 minutes of people being more or less terrible to each other so that we're quick to pick sides and condemn them and assume this is actually how they are since it's our only exposure to them after all (so we think) and we go wow why don't some of them just part ways already, and then we spend the rest of the game learning more about them and their circumstances and seeing how their doubles can act the same while having more to them than that because in reality, there is always more to people (which is neutral btw; I'm not saying it to downplay the bad or the good). Also I'll say here that because of the current day cast's variability and having more than a few minutes with them I'd guess they are really the most comprehensive picture of each Clarke (their personalities and attitudes, not specifics like Taylor and Daniel dating or Angela being divorced and such). We have as good as they get in the 1600s era, as bad as they get in the 1970s, and the determinate present day to establish which side of each character wins out. Learning to look at what happened differently is very clearly the point of Megan's story and I mean why wouldn't it apply to the rest of the family too.

Also it's relevant that I think the underlying story is purgatory since there's hints to it, and if so, everyone's fates can't depend on the ways Anthony characterizes them; it would depend on the actual people making their own choices. But even interpreting it as all his imagination, it still remains that Anthony and the player are learning to make sense of his family being complicated and to see them apart from the last image he has of them that was (almost literally) burned into his memory. And part of the tragedy is that this family in no way "had it coming" (and I've seen players use those words) but they ended so unexpectedly at a genuine low point, like not only in life in general but also in a get-past-tonight-and-deal-with-it-in-the-morning sort of way, basically the kind of regrettable times that most of us have but usually have the chance to make up for later. Of course they didn't and the present day timeline is helping or hindering Anthony piecing together a more accurate understanding of Megan especially but also everything else that was going on with the family.

Anyway if you made it this far, congratulations, my lack of articulacy is annoying me and I don't how to end this but yeah I have these 6 people under the microscope every day and most of the time I like to look at the sets of doubles as 6 big beautiful layer cakes instead of more like how Anthony wished it was, but please know that none of this is me telling people how to enjoy the story of course, this is just how I get the most meaning out of it personally.

[ihavenocluedude]

Hiya, I really like your works and was wondering if you could do a request for me! I was thinking a romantic Scotty x GN reader where the reader is like an alien and working in engineering. Maybe their species has this thing where they find someone they want to be with they sort of take on traits of that person right? So they sort have taken on Scotty's accent and doesn't realize it at first, well Scotty sort of thinks that they are making fun of him (they aren't of course they just really like him) and it ends in Scotty pointing it out and Reader getting flustered over it and trying to explain how they aren't mocking him they just really really like him

Was that too much like details? I'm sorry if it was, have a good day! 💙

Locking onto you

Montgomery "Scotty Scott x Gender-Neutral! + Alien!reader

Link to reading it on Ao3 Link to Main Masterlist

A/N - Ah thank you and I'm so sorry this took so long, I absolutely loved this request so I really worked hard on it... So uhm... here you have an almost 3k word fic :). I hope you like what I did with the request! (btw not at all too many details, it's perfect) And I hope you have a good day too!

(I had a hard time coming up with a title and then I just thought of TØP's song 'Holding onto you'... so yea)

Word Count - 2 853

You’d seen it with your parents. The way they acted so similarly that you couldn’t even tell the sound pattern of their footsteps apart. The same habits, the same vices, the same tones in their voices.

Both sides of your grandparents had described your parents separately, how they were when they were younger. Shown you what traits were actually their own. What they had brought to that union.

The habit of leaving cupboards and drawers open was the habit your mom had had almost since birth. The singsonginess of their voices was originally found in your dad’s voice, bouncing with his voice as he talked.

His parents had claimed that it had calmed his voice down by mixing your parents' speaking patterns together. Whilst your grandma on your mom’s side complained that your dad ruined the calm patience that was found in your mom’s voice before.

Your species wouldn’t necessarily keep the traits of their partners for forever, especially if falling in love with someone outside of it, but it could be hard to stop once you’d started.

And some traits just locked on forever, one of your uncles stuck with a stutter from a woman that certainly isn’t his wife. And even if he complains about it in front of his wife and the rest of the family, he can’t help but tell you the story of the girl he’d met when he was only 18 years old. A trait that got stuck was never necessarily bad because it stuck, if anything it was a memory worth holding onto.

It hadn’t happened to you yet. Sometimes you thought you had found it, that small lock onto something a person did or how they behaved. The way one of your friends would bite their nails, how another would always play with their hair when stressed or how you’d picked up a word someone used consistently.

But your parents had examined the situation and explained that it wasn’t quite it. It had to be bigger to tell anything truly, the smaller habits came along with it. But for example for your parents, it had been their voices that had been their clue.

On their fifth date, your dad’s voice had gotten calmer, steadier, not as anxious, or as melodic as it had been. Whilst your mother’s voice had been more energetic, almost voice-cracking by the way her voice had bounced around in a way she wasn’t used to. They’d laughed about it and felt their skin thrumming with excitation.

It wasn’t like a soulmate bond that some other species had, and it wasn’t some sort of proof of true love.

You could’ve locked onto several people’s traits and behaviours throughout the years, bringing a mix of both you and your former love interests’ traits to the table. But you hadn’t. Instead, the first time you locked onto someone for real… you didn’t even notice it.

First, it was his clumsiness. Montgomery ‘Scotty’ Scott was a very clumsy man sometimes. Although very competent in his very physical and practical job, he was a klutz.

In your workplace, where you’d most often see him, he’d often not be as clumsy as he often could be but that was mainly because of the focus he kept whilst working. Sure he’d have some accidents from time to time, like every other engineer he’d stumble to the medical bay at least a couple of times a year.

But when you first adopted the clumsy behaviour you hadn’t exactly gotten the work focus as well. Which meant a lot more medical bay visits than usual for you.

Pissing McCoy off was easy, but getting to the med bay way more than before especially exasperated the man. So he’d told Scotty to keep a closer eye on you whilst working.

Thankfully that helped you adopt the work focus as well. The way Scotty could get so lost within his work and the attention he had on it. So much so that you sometimes had to poke his shoulder even after calling his name several times.

So finally you got a bit more focused. Didn’t get as many burns, thankfully. And had McCoy not as irritated at you as before. But as soon as you got out of the engineering station you’d stumble over the first little bump in the floor and feel as if nothing had truly changed.

But then it was his ramblings. You’d always caught onto when he’d start rambling to you, it was sweet. Especially when in the middle of working. The way he’d ramble in nervousness or stress and if you cut him off you’d only see concern or caring in his eyes.

Or… the best thing, when he’d ramble out of passion. Although you already worked within engineering and obviously had an education in it, you’d never say no to Scotty’s ramblings about the ship and the warp core.

And then you started rambling back.

As if a flip switched and you suddenly could think about a hundred things to tell him. For example about the projects you’d started on your own, now that he and McCoy trusted you not to accidentally harm yourself.

Or about the shore leave destinations you’d been to, describing the different habitats and the way you loved the different ways of the different species. Never actually telling him about the ways and habits of your own.

“Have you noticed how…” McCoy once started asking Kirk as the two looked onto your conversation with Scotty, your ramblings coming out in a tone the two of them hadn’t heard out of you before. Kirk nodded with a small smirk. He knew, of course, he knew.

Kirk had always had a curiosity when it came to tendencies of different species. So whenever he could, he’d look up one of the crewmates’ species. Learn about them and perhaps even talk about it in his log.

It had helped immensely so far by getting him closer to the crew of his ship. But it had gotten even better when he, out of pure curiosity, had searched you up because of your newfound social closeness to Scotty.

“Picks up traits of the person they want to be with, very sweet,” Kirk explained as his smirk deepened. McCoy, already knowing of Kirk’s habit nodded and huffed out a breath.

Meanwhile, you and Scotty stood there just some metre away. He had completely zoned out from what you were saying at this point.

Scotty’s brain was going too quickly to really register what was going on in his head anyway. There was only one thing that he was sure of. You were trying to speak in a horrible Scottish accent.

“So I don’ kno’ exactly what t’ do.” You said calmly with a shrug as you wrapped up your ramblings about your current project. Your speaking patterns and the words you’d chosen weren’t different but the tone was rougher for sure.

And Scotty obviously noticed the way you’d cut some of the consonants out of your words or the way your o’s sounded more rounded than pointed. You were clearly doing some sort of accent… But you couldn’t possibly be doing… his?

“You’ve tried t’ find a new way t’ do it?” Scotty asked, not even really knowing if his question made sense in context to what you’ve been telling him. It was often one of the most usual questions Scotty asked and reminded his subordinates about when asked about issues and shortcomings with projects.

There wasn’t always just one straightforward way to solve a project, one could often find new ways to do things and with that also discover new solutions.

“Aye, of course.” Now Scotty couldn’t ignore it.

It bothered him for the rest of the day. Not annoying him, not aggravating him just simply… feeling his own heart sink slightly. The two of you had been getting closer lately, especially since the time McCoy had told him to keep an eye on you. But hearing you do what sounded like a dig at the way he spoke…

He didn’t want to point it out at first. He’d thought you’d stop after the first sentence of you even doing it. But then you had continued throughout that conversation. And the next. And the one after that too.

Scotty could easily be a feisty being. Someone who wasn’t afraid to stand up for himself. But he had to admit that he was hesitating when it came to you.

”Are y’ okay?” You asked him the next day, walking around the ship a little for a break. You’d been working for a few hours now, Scotty staying pretty quiet throughout the whole shift. Although your first instinct was to rant to him and talk as usual, you figured that his silence was a sign that you maybe shouldn’t.

”Yeah, ’m fine.”

”Really?”

”No! ’m not fine!- well… why the accent?” Scotty stopped walking instantly, the two of you stepping to the side of the corridor of the ship to not be in the way of anyone else.

”The accent?”

”Oh, don’t act so shocked!” He snapped out in his usual feisty voice he’d usually use towards Kirk. Whilst you hadn’t heard the tone used towards you before, you weren’t all that caught off guard by it. It was peculiar but with this specific topic, it made you try to inspect the situation closer.

What was he upset about? ’the accent’ he’d said. It was clearly upsetting him. So what was it? Were you actually speaking differently than usual?

”Am I…” Just from the first two words of the sentence you could hear the difference in your voice that you hadn’t heard before he pointed it out. So you clear your throat before trying again. ”Was I-” Not quite there but better. Cleared your throat again. ”Was I speaking differently?” You asked as you felt the normal signs of embarrassment tickle up your spine. A sort of chill at the embarrassment that you clearly had done something strange.

”Y’… You were mimicking me.” His sentence sounded more like a question. As if he was questioning himself at that point because of your reaction.

”Oh.” It sounded more like a squeak than a worded reaction.

Shock, self-consciousness and love all swelled up inside you at the same time.

Shocked by the fact that it had happened. It had happened and you didn’t even notice it. You had locked onto him and not seen any of the signs.

And it suddenly just all clicked when he brought it up. The way you’d picked up on his clumsiness, his work-focus as well as his ramblings.

Traits of his that you had good memories with. The first ones that you had looked upon with fondness.

The clumsiness had been the first trait you’d noticed about him that wasn’t part of his personality. It wasn’t his humour or his kindness but just the way he’d sometimes stumble over nothing and just chuckle it off.

Sure he was sometimes a grumpy, feisty man. He was someone who at times scoffed and huffed at every argument in a discussion. But he was also someone who could so easily laugh at things like his own little stumbles.

Then it had been the focus that you’d admired so. The way his face twisted, showing clearly just how ’in-the-zone’ he was. Whilst he could seem like an easily distracted man, someone who’d turn his head up at every little sound in the engineering station. He could so easily just slip into his focus.

Then it was the ramblings. The ones you’d want to listen to for as long as you could. Especially the passionate ramblings when he’d just go on and on with not a single hint of stress or agitation in his voice. The ones that weren’t out of nervousness or stress, even if you’d listen to those for as long as possible too but they weren’t the same.

And then this.

The first thing your parents had locked onto was each others’ voice patterns. This was almost to be expected but you hadn’t seen it coming at all. You had been looking out for the moment where you would lock on or the person you’d lock onto so much that he’d been able to hide right under your nose.

Of course, you care for Scotty, you’d always look at him with fondness, cherish every moment you’d have with him. Take time to appreciate all the small things about him. And still, you’d managed to not realise that this is the person you’d lock onto.

Scotty called you back to earth by saying your name and then asking ”Are you okay?”

A quick and eager nodding started in response, not really daring to look him in the eyes at this moment.

”I’m fine… I… I wasn’t- I mean, I didn’t mean to… Mimick you, that is.” Although this moment was filled with a slightly overwhelming feeling of embarrassment at needing to explain it to him, you couldn’t help yourself from feeling almost dizzyingly happy.

The feeling of love surging within you as well as the utter relief and happiness of just knowing that you’d locked onto someone. Especially someone like Scotty. You couldn’t have asked for anyone better.

”How d’ya accidentally put on an accent?” His voice still sounded a bit accusing, which was fair. But at least his voice felt a bit softer now that he knew you weren’t making fun of him.

After all, you had probably sounded… god knows how bad your fake Scottish accent had been, at this point you did not want to know that… Though it might be a fun question to ask later on.

”It’s complicated? But it’s- it’s sort of something that my kind might… well we- we sort of pick up the traits, behaviours… sometimes speech patterns of uhm…” How the hell do you just explain to him that you’ve locked on. That your alien brain decided that you want to be with him without even truly knowing it consciously enough that you didn’t notice locking on.

”-someone we want to be with” You rushed the words out but made sure that he still could hear them. You didn’t want to have to say it again but you did want to get the words that felt embarrassing to explain to be said as quickly as possible. No hesitation, just a lot of other terrifying feelings.

There are a lot of different ways a situation like this could go. And the quietness that settled over the both of you after your revelation felt… justifiable?

Scotty is after all not like your species, and he didn’t know about it obviously which means that situations like this are harder. If he had known or if he had been like you he might’ve seen this coming.

You kept your eyes away from his face as much as you could. Not really daring to try and figure out what he would answer by his facial expressions. But at the same time you really just wanted some sort of sign, that you should run away and let this situation slip away or for you to say something more.

”So y’… y’ want to be with me?” Scotty finally asked with a timid voice, before clearing his voice and adding ”What… what does that mean exactly t’ya?” his voice was more assured but at the same time sounded as if he was going to walk across an unstable bridge with a several metre drop beneath it.

Now it felt like your turn to become quiet. What does it mean to want to be with Scotty?

”Yes. And I don’t know yet.” You replied after thinking it over for a little while. Whilst you really like Scotty, to the point of your entire being warming up with the fondness you have for him whenever you think of him, you don’t know what this would exactly mean for the two of you.

After all your parents had already been dating when they locked on. In that situation, they didn’t need to even discuss how to go on with it. It was more just a confirmation that they both really liked each other. And in a way strengthened their start as a couple.

Here it’s just you. No way that Scotty could lock onto you back, no way that you could see your relationship being cemented as… anything more than you really really liking him.

”But would y’- I mean, would you want t’ go out with me sometime?” You ask, nerves making your voice dip back just slightly into Scotty’s pronunciation, into the comfortable space that he took up of your mind.

And before you could even doubt it all, try to retract your question or try and cover up any of the things you’ve told him, he places one of his hands on the lower side of your face. Leaning in very slowly as to give you space to push him away before he gets too close.

And then his lips touch yours.

And so, he locks onto you.

[tsukiyadori]

Translation Quality of Fukou-kun wa Kiss suru shika nai Episode 1 on Viki

Since I saw somebody asking about the translation quality of Fukou-kun wa Kiss suru shika nai - I took a little look.

(Just the Viki episode 1 though, since I don't have a subscription and that's the only free episode right now. No Idea about Gagaolala's since I also don't have a subscription there either. Couldn't find what fansubs were referenced on quick look, so also no idea about that one. If somebody wants to provide sub-files I can take a look at the lines, too.)

My brain also blanked out with the OP and the ED has been skipped. (Spare me that bland canned Jpop please...) So no idea about the lyrics.

TL;DR first: Viki's for that episode is… passable. I have seen no hair pulling super major botches that are just utterly wrong and plot/context/characterization breaking. That being said, definitely don't expect brilliancy, either.

Some things that picked my attention in order of appearance:

In the prologue when Kouta talks about his type he uses 子 (ko). That implies a girl. After he drops the act, he's using 人間 (ningen) which means human. This was quaint, because usually you would opt to 人 (hito, person) for something more neutral. No idea what this is supposed to imply or if at all. Translations are fine there, just a lost nuance.

I'm sure I'll meet some great friends -> I'm sure there will be wonderful new meetings/encounters 出会い (deai) is used, which is meeting/encounter. This can mean all sorts of things in that vein, but expressly also means you might have your fated mate meeting (運命の出会い, unmei no deai). So it's definitely implied he's hoping for a bit more. (But the context also supplies this information already, so nothing really lost.)

This introduction was all lies! -> By the way, this prologue just now was COMPLETELY all lies!

That got shortened and also looses out on the typography of the sign. There is this playfulness JP typography that never seems to translate well outside.

Dropping the sweet act, here's my actual introduction This one is actually a good localization. In the fake prologue he uses boku for I (usually more innocently boyish) which then is switched to ore (more rude, manly).

And I've finally come to this conclusion: I'm just meant to be unlucky -> I've arrived at the truth, I have an unlucky condition This is maybe a bit nitpicking. But it's less a conclusion but more like he found the root cause (the truth) and the way he describes his condition is using (体質, taishitsu), which is a physical condition. So basically he takes it in like an identified chronic illness he has no means to get rid of, and that's a mood that reflects across everything he says (to himself), which is full of bitter salty anger, envy or resignation. He also gets pretty venomous nasty often enough, with much ruder, colloquial speech (extension to the switch to ore) which I don't quite think the English captures with as much of a contrast to what he says out loud all that much. The actor's voice does tho, so it still has that vibe from there.

Kirari is a sound effect onomatopoeic word describing a twinkle. Which is why this is a bit of a wild nickname to have as an adult (and a guy).

Typo Izakoi instead of Izayoi once, so QC is probably not the tightest, but also not the worst since there was only one.

Shinomiya gets translated to Naoya, which means this one abides by Western name referencing of first names rather than keeping the Japanese one of referencing last names and its registers of intimacy it denotes. This is jarring by default if you hear Shinomiya, but read Naoya, but it's pretty standard a thing to happen with Japanese translations. What definitely is bad tho is that there is no consistency, because Kouta's acquaintances call him Fukuhara, which is his last name. (If this show ever starts making Kouta switch from Shinomiya to Naoya, and they make a big blushy drama out of it, which the Japanese love to do, probably expect this to make no sense in the translation.)

What a formidable guy -> What a dreadful/frightening guy

lady killer This is obviously a bit awkward with it being in a BL coming from a guy describing the effects on himself, but that one kind of has no short English word. Japanese uses 無自覚天然たらし (mujigaku tennen tarashi). mujigaku means unaware, tennen is a natural airhead (the one that breaks hearts like breathing and never notices) and tarashi means very (in a bit of a condescending manner) and amplifies this once more. (If there is a good Engilish expression, I'm all ears!)

I was hoping we could stay together always - let's stay together That is super awkward, but the translator probably tried their best to retain some levels of ambiguity for the misunderstanding. The word used is 付き合い (tsukiai), which can mean accompany but very much also means dating. The way Kouta asks it is literally how you'd ask somebody out for dating, and he does this even in a very typical girly shy manner (completely in contrast with his thoughts in more guyish informal register).

Other than that, the translation definitely doesn't feel like natural English, but also not like that Engrish you'd get from a Japanese native person usually. (My guess is it's intermediate-advanced proficiency, one of the typical pit traps in that stage is still to be too literal and have Japanese sentence structures invade your translation.) Refreshing for one doesn't sound like anything a native English speaker would say to describe a person. What is meant here is a person who is kind of upbeat and agreeable to their surroundings, or somebody who's good at smoothing things out with their way of talking. (But also not suave or so.) Maybe affable, amiable, pleasant? (But then I don't think Westerners ever mumble so fascinated about a person after they're gone, bar in a more sexually/romantically/idolizing coded fawning sense to begin with…?)

[stanknotstark]

Commanding Loki (just kind of happens)

Summary: You’re not really sure how it happens but you begin commanding Loki, the God of Mischief, around. To everyone’s shock, he happily obliges to your commands. 

The first time you do it in front of the Avengers they all kind of stop in shock.

"Loki, get me a soda before you sit down." You told rather than asked the God.

You were too busy looking at a tablet Tony had lent you to see him stop in his tracks. He glared at the Avengers looking at him, ready to attack him as if he was thinking about attacking you for giving him an order. They weren't wrong but only because you did it in front of everyone. Probably.

He got you a soda and sits next to you, rolling his eyes at your nonchalant thanks. 

The next time it happened was kind of a life or death situation.

"Loki, leave the room right now and calm yourself," You checked Thor's pulse through the gushing blood which made him slippery as an eel, "You either calm yourself and I’ll let you back in or you can sit out there like a petulant child. Go."

Natasha looked at you as if you were crazy, her hands pressing a t-shirt to Thor’s wound tightly. Loki heeded her no mind though and did as you told him.

He was welcomed back within 15 minutes.

Next, you do it more to push boundaries because Natasha had a conversation with you after Thor's fiasco. She's finds it quite funny that he obeys you like it's second nature but if anyone else dared do it he wouldn't hesitate to threaten their life. Trust me, Tony had wanted to test his boundaries and tried to do it too. Needless to say, Tony wouldn't be doing it again any time soon, he was still pissy some very expensive pieces of furniture got destroyed.

So one day while you and Loki are hanging out with Natasha, like you all consistently do because you three enjoy silence but companionship at the same time. You look across at Nat and grin, making sure Loki doesn't see it and commence your plan.

"Loki," Loki looks up from his book on midguardian foods newly introduced from 1996 to 2010, a questioning frown on his face, "Pass me the remote."

It's simple enough, nothing too strenuous. Yet.

"You have two perfectly functioning arms." Loki mutters but grabs the remote and gives it to you. You give him a genuine smile and you can see he has gone soft in the eyes before he looks at his book again. 

You glance at Nat with raised brows, she looks away with a smirk as you turn on the TV. Flicking through channels you finally settle on reruns of Stranger Things. Natasha gets interested and you kind of watch but mostly you're thinking about commanding Loki to do something else but what? Loki keeps looking at his book but you see him glancing up often to watch the show too.

"Hey, Cowboy," Loki growls at the name, it had come up when Thor told you he used to call him a cow for his horns, "Don’t sit like that you'll get scoliosis....if a God can get that." Loki who had slouched forwards blinked at you and sat up straight in shock from the bad posture. When you see him glower at the TV you smile, he's probably cursing midguardians for ruining his good posture.

"Thanks." You whisper.

Loki hums carelessly and puts his book down to instead watch the show. Natasha coughs into her hand (a hidden laugh, you knew Nat too well), Loki eyes her suspiciously, looks at you, then focuses back on the TV. You force yourself, with great resolve might you add, to not laugh. You let things settle again before you try the ultimate command.

"Ugh." You start, rolling your right shoulder around and poking at it as if it hurts. You're literally about to tell Loki to massage it for you but you’re struck by paralyzing shock. Loki had noticed your 'discomfort' and moved closer to you. Lifting his hands towards your shoulder he stopped and looked at you with a tilted brow, asking consent. 

Aww how sweet.

You nodded and shifted so he had better access to your back. One hand landed between your shoulders on your back and the other pinching the area where your shoulder met your arm and began massaging.

Shocked you let him staring at the TV but not knowing what is going on on the show. Loki and you had touched before so it's not so out in the left field that you're concerned but he was massaging you in front of Natasha. Your thoughts turned to mush as he pushes and pulls your body so he could access all of your back and starts massaging your entire back. You couldn't help the little whimpers and soft moans of delight. Not only was this man a God but he was literally gifted God like hands, unfair!

After letting out another whimper Loki stopped. You felt him shift back to his original spot and so you did too. Glancing at him you saw a hint of flushed cheeks as he stared at the TV distantly. Natasha was outright staring at him with both eyebrows raised to her hairline, it looked like.

Loki cleared his throat and left with an offhand excuse.

Once Loki left the area Natasha's eyes fell onto you. She smirked lecherously but said nothing about what had just happened. Turning her attention back to the show when you shrugged your shoulders, completely flustered. 

She asks, "So like, I don’t doubt Will is going to be found but does Barbara make it?"

You smile and settle into the couch, "You'll find out in a few episodes."

Natasha groans and you laugh. You know she hates not knowing but if she's truly desperate she can look it up on Google or ask Jarvis.

The next time you command him it's another crisis. 

In short, Thor and Loki are arguing, both clearly in a ferocious rage in the kitchen. All the team is there to experience it this time too.

"No, Thor, I cannot simply understand why you would defend those inept idiots you call friends. If you think they're in the right you’re more brainless than I thought!" Loki yells at Thor who now looks like a kicked puppy and your motherly instincts kick in.

"Hey!" Loki looks at you shocked, this is the highest he's ever heard your voice, and probably the angriest too because you just don’t get mad. You have the patience of a Buddha God, Tony likes to say. 

"You apologize to him right now, then you will listen to what your brother has say, and if you interrupt him I will show you just how minuscule a God can be to a non believer."

The entire kitchen is silent. Tony looks like he wants to flee the area, he's been on your angry side once before. Steve is practically engraving the table with his eyes. Natasha shrugs and continues eating her meal, the utensils clipping the plate the only noise in the room.

Loki looks at Thor and raises a brow. Thor, still looking at you, swallows and begins to talk, focusing on his brother again. 

"Im trying to learn but I don’t know how to stay neutral between your feelings and my friend's-"

Loki opens his mouth but slams it shut when you snap your fingers.

"-i do not want to offend anyone but every choice i make I offend you and I’m sorry brother, I truly am. What can I do to amend things between us?"

Loki glances at you to see if he may talk now. At your nod he says, "Start by supporting your brother sometimes. I don't ask that you stand behind every argument between your friends and I but you never fail to support them, it seems. You can't please everybody Thor, and you can't stay neutral forever, at some point you have to realize that you have to pick a side and who's side."

Thor has lost to kicked puppy look but he now frowns and nods, staring at the floor with guilt. Loki's hand comes up, hesitates, then he places it on Thor's arm for a second and swiftly leaves.

When no one moves for a few seconds you clear your throat and they all go back to whatever they were doing before the argument escalated out of proportion, you included.

You realize you may have tiptoed the line of being fair with that last command so you let it rest for awhile, give Loki some space. He of course notices your avoidance because Tony had asked you what was up between you both, stating that the God had asked him if anything was bothering you. Usually Loki came to you with his concerns, not being the type of person to talk behind someone’s back. 

You sigh and tell Tony you’re fine, that you’ll talk to him. So you head out from Tony’s lab and search for Loki. He isn’t in the living room, kitchen, or even his own bedroom. You remember him once stating that he likes read on the roof sometimes, Tony had build Loki a garden up on the roof at one point since Loki clearly missed the garden from home, Asgard. A small gesture but a true turning point for both Tony and Loki’s relationship you think. 

Walking out on the roof you don’t see Loki in the garden so you murmur a few expletives and make your way back to the door when a voice calls out your name. You follow the sound and find Loki hidden on a corner of the roof, sitting on the edge of the building. 

Walking up behind him you ask, “Can we talk?”

“You’ve never asked before, don’t see why you’d start now.” Loki says, no contempt in his voice though, it’s just very...neutral. 

You force out a small laugh, hearing your own tenseness in it, “Ya, about that..”

You sit next to Loki letting your legs dangle over the ledge like Loki does now. His legs kick every once in awhile giving him an almost childlike appearance. 

“First off, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Loki looks at you.

“I was out of line the other day with you and Thor. Not just then I’ve been, well, commanding you to do things for me and that’s...it’s not...right?” You finish lamely, your face a big grimace but you look Loki in the eyes when you apologize.

“That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?” Loki says with mirth lingering in his words. 

“Well, ya, is there some other reason I should have?” You squint at him suspiciously.

“No.”

Loki looks at you with an innocent look on his face, which you know is pure bullshit, but you let it slide. Shaking your head with a smile you then look out across the open skyline below you. 

“Apology accepted.” Loki says after some time has past. Your shoulders, which had tensed involuntarily, now relax. 

You don’t react, well more like force yourself not to, when you feel Loki’s hand come to rest atop yours which had been supporting you on the ledge. Loki lets his hand rest there before he gets more confident and intertwines both of your fingers. You smile, finally looking at Loki who is already staring at you brazenly. 

“Kiss me.” 

“What?”

“Did I fucking stutter?”

Loki smirks then leans in, his left hand coming to cradle your head at your jaw and kisses you. At first softly, as if testing the waters, then begins to put more passion behind it as you lean into him. His tongue gently swipes across your bottom lip and you open your mouth to let him explore. 

If you thought this man had God like hands....

When you’re both breathless you part but keep your faces close together. Your eyes roam over his face, noting how young he looks right now, how vulnerable, and bite your lip. Loki’s eyes drop to your lips and uses a thumb to pull your lip from your teeth lest you bruise them more. “Don’t bite them, it is my job to bruise them.” Loki says breathlessly. 

Much later, when it’s dark out, you both come back into the tower and make your way to the living room. The first person you see is Natasha who, legit, smiles at the look of you two. Tony who notices Nat smiling looks where she’s looking and whistles at the two of you who decide to share a love seat. 

“Shut up.” You command the two of them. 

You were sure the both of you made a pretty funny picture. Your hair was most likely tousled, too much so to just be from the wind, and Loki’s lips were nearly purple with bruising so no doubt yours were any less. Not to mention the both of you were too incredibly happy, which ya you being happy is normal but it was almost an alarming amount of giddiness and Loki doesn’t normally show his emotions so openly like this. 

Tony smirks, raises a brow and points the remote at the TV. “Stranger Things?” 

You, very much flustered, clear your throat and say yes. 

[imaginarydesires]

Pedro Pascal

Character Preferences

How They React to Being Your First ♡

Warnings: 18+, sexual content, loss of virginity

Notes: gender-neutral-ish - there are no pronouns so it could be considered a female reader or male bottom.

❥ Dave York

He loves the idea of taking your innocence from you almost as much as he loves the idea of you willingly giving it to him. He’ll never forget the way you looked at him with those doe-eyes and told him you wanted him for your first. The idea of being the first to ever be inside of you was intoxicating. Partly due to his excitement, he’s not gentle, at least not as gentle as you would have liked. He’s slower than he usually is with lovers, but he still hurts as he takes you, and he doesn’t slow down. Your moans consisting of a mixture of pain and pleasure are all the motivation he needs to quicken his pace and fill you.

❥ Din Djarin

“Are you sure you want me, cyar’ika?” His mind races with negative thoughts of himself. He believes you deserve someone better to deflower you. He believes you deserve to look into the eyes of someone as they take you, not looking into the reflection of a black shield. You’re reassuring him more than he’s reassuring you at first. But then he takes you, and he’s gentle, making sure you’re comfortable and constantly asking if you are okay. He’d never been so careful with someone before, so concerned with whether they were enjoying it as much as he was.

❥ Ezra Prospect

He’s not as concerned with being gentle as he is with being passionate. He wants your first to be a memorable one, with someone who genuinely pines for you, and he knows he’s that man. He’s poetic, whispering into your ear a combination of lovely words to relax you into him. “Your body is emphatically heavenly, my exquisite little angel.”

❥ Frankie “Catfish” Morales

He’s nervous to be your first, maybe even more nervous than you. He wanted everything to be just right. You deserved everything to be perfect. He laid flowers around the bed and lit candles that scattered the room. He played soft music from a playlist he knew you liked. He did anything and everything he could to calm you and make you happy. He was sweet and gentle, constantly asking if you were okay, reassuring you that you are beautiful and that he loves you.

❥ Jack "Whiskey" Daniel

He's watched you and wanted you for so long, but he never imagined you had not been deflowered. He doesn't have to remind himself to take it slow. He was planning on it even before he learned of your innocence. He wanted to savor you, remember how you taste and feel underneath him. The sweet words he whispers in your ear calm you and reassure you that you picked the perfect man for your first time - he would not disappoint you and he would not let you forget this moment.

❥ Javier Peña

When you told him you were a virgin, he was shocked and, quite frankly, scared. He had mostly been with whores. Hell, he could barely remember the last time he was with someone who wasn’t a whore - or at least could have been one. He asked you at least a million times if you were sure you wanted it to be him, and at least a million times you assured him you would choose no one else. He was gentle, more gentle than he had every been with anyone, but once he got started, he couldn’t stop. Everything about you intoxicated him.

❥ Marcus Moreno

He's honored that you would choose him to be your first. If he hasn't already told you he loves you, he will now. He wants you to know you are giving away yourself to someone who will love you for the rest of your life. He recognizes this is not a decision to be made lightly, and he reassures you adamantly. When he finally takes you, he's slow. He takes his time, knowing you deserve it to be perfect.

❥ Max Phillips

He’s so excited, he can barely contain himself. He never knew someone being a virgin was a turn-on for him until you were under him. He didn’t ask if you were sure, didn’t reassure you that he would take care of you. He just fucked you, obsessed with how tight you were. He moaned into your ear and told you how good you were for him. He used you and, once the pain subsided, you loved every second of it.

❥ Maxwell Lord

When you told him you were a virgin, you were all he could think about. He wanted to take your virginity so bad, it overpowered his daily thoughts. Every time he saw you, he wanted you there and then. One night after he took you to dinner, you finally said you wanted him. He had to force himself to not bury himself into you immediately. He was surprisingly gentle, at least at first, but that changed as you adjusted to him. “Can I go faster?” He asked, and when you nodded in approval, that was all he needed to fuck you into the mattress until you were crying out his name.

❥ Oberyn Martell

Choosing one of the most well versed men in all of the Seven Kingdoms to take your virginity was both a blessing and a curse. He was delighted to be your first. He imagined devouring you so none of your future lovers could ever compare to him. He wanted you to think of him every time another man touched you. He went painfully slow, taking his time going down on you, making sure you finished a few times before he even began to fuck you. But his fingers had gotten to know you so well that when he did take you it wasn’t nearly as painful as you anticipated. Which he fully planned for because he knew he wouldn’t be able to take it slow with you once he felt how tight you were. He wanted to hear you moan his name as you came on him again and again.

❥ Pero Tovar

This man does not know how to be gentle. He's never necessarily made love - he's always been the man in the brothels fucking the whores until they were screaming. So, when you tell him you're a virgin, he is undeniably panicked. "Hermosa, are you sure you want a rough man like me?" You guarantee him you desire no one else. He is as easy on you as he knows how to be - always asking if what he is doing is okay and making sure his movements are fluid instead of his usual sharp thrusts. He wants to make it good for you, something special that you will remember even long after he's gone.

[fenristheorem]

it´s me again u.u! how about lance + begging nsfw please?

You again!? Well goodness, you just can’t get enough of Lance it seems, haha. Don’t worry, I can’t get enough either.

Writing this as a scenario because it’s specific enough to do so 😏

There is begging but it comes in a bit later, there’s a lot of build up to it lol.

*Note: This is an nsfw ask so it will include detailed sex scenes and - considering it includes begging - very kinky sex. Don’t read if you feel you won’t be comfortable with this subject. Minor swearing. Also, this starts off immediately in the thick of it, so don’t start reading until you’re comfortable (and alone) lol.

I usually write with the term Guardienne due to the neutrality of it, but it seems a bit... weird? for Lance to be saying that instead of an actual name in this case (since Guardienne isn’t an ‘actual name’), so I’ll substitute with the name Erika to give more flow(?) to the situation.

~Under the cut~

Lance + begging nsfw (+ bondage as discussed, and blindfolding because it’s wonderful - and let’s face it, Lance wouldn’t beg if he can do something about it so the man would need to be helpless):

Aged ropes - worn well from years of use elsewhere - creaked dangerously as Lance flexed his arms and tensed his body. His back arced and hips lifted slightly off the bed as he snapped his eyes shut and panted. He wasn’t entirely sure how he ended up in this situation - his thoughts were cloudy and wouldn’t allow him to think that far back and in detail, especially with the slick, velvety pair of lips that sucked delicately at the skin between his thigh and ball sac. His hardened cock twitched and he groaned lowly as her tongue lapped his skin for a moment before she pulled away.

Released now from the rippling pleasure, he breathed out and relaxed, nearly ashamed at how sensitive he had become. Sure, he was prone to succumbing to sensual physical touch quite easily, but he rarely displayed this much sensitivity at this intensity. It seems like she must have caught him on a good night.

The female pulled away to gaze at the man underneath her - lacking all articles of clothing and looking more gorgeous than ever as a thin layer of sweat slowly manifested on his skin. Powerful, scarred arms reached up towards the headboard, wrists bound tightly in musty old rope that seemed to be just barely withstanding his strength. It was faintly frayed in a few areas, and hopes that it would last the night passed through her mind. Lance broke the last one they used; it was thinner and was braided differently than the one they were using now, but newer than this old rope. However, the vendor at the market selling rope was closed today, and her their patience couldn’t last through the night, so they had to make due with the dubious old rope she found way deep in the guard’s stores until tomorrow came, where she could buy another stronger rope. Fortunately this one seemed to be holding for now, but it was completely unknown on if that would remain.

Her eyes trailed over Lance’s wrists - not rope-burned thankfully, but definitely unable to escape unless the rope broke. His circulation looked fine based on his skin tone, and as her gaze trailed back down again she couldn’t help but admire the thick veins that wound down his forearms. She threw a glance at his burning icy eyes - narrowed in a glare of pleasure and irritation - as she climbed over him, straddling his abdomen before flicking her gaze to his parted lips and then back to his eyes.

“What do you want?” Her voice was a low, husky murmur as she stared enticingly into the dragon’s eyes, shifting to rest her hands on his broad chest and accentuate her naked breasts.

His gaze twitched as she did so, but he didn’t leave her eyes as he narrowed his further and growled deep within his chest, almost so that she could feel the reverberation underneath her palms. The dragon’s answer was clear.

“What do you want me to do?” She asked again, her head tilting slightly and hair spilling over her shoulder.

Lance’s nostrils flared slightly under a heaving a breath when she adjusted her hips, resting her weight on his abdomen and shifting in a continuous rotating motion, just a mere few inches away from where he’d like to feel her slickness instead. Every movement downward allowed the tip of his cock to brush against her rear, just enough to create some sort of tempting friction that sparked another wave of feral impulses to flow through him and buck his hips. The woman above him quickly lifted her weight off of him at this, narrowing her eyes slightly and giving a faint coy smile.

“Erika.” He growled her name, impatience rising within him.

She had been continuing her teasing ministrations for nearly an hour based on his internal clock, starting from foreplay, then pinning him down - at his will - and tying him up.

That’s how she got him like this.

He remembered clearly now when she brought him down on the bed and gently traced along his arms, bringing them over his head to hold his wrists together as she dug around in a bedside drawer. Lance humored her by submitting and laying obediently as she began tying his wrists with the rope, and then tying that to the headboard - only to realize too late that she could tie quicker and stronger than he thought when preoccupied with teasing her neck, and he found himself genuinely bound without easy escape. He had glared at her as he struggled against the restraints for a minute while she backed away, reminding him of their consistently unused safe-words as she reached under his knees to wrap her arms around and grasp at the top of his thighs before pulling. Once leaning up and struggling faintly with the knot, he found himself completely against the bed sheets with his arms gently taught above his head, and Erika made sure to keep him like that by placing her hands on his waist immediately and resting her weight on him to keep him from pulling himself back up. She made quick work of his pants from there, and the rest is history. 

Now, leaning teasingly above him, Erika’s skin crawled with anticipation as she recalled her victory. Rarely could she get Lance bound without his true obedience to the matter, so having this powerful man underneath her truly by her own accord made him seem that much more feral and dangerous - which made her feel that much more powerful. Technically he could use their safe words to get out of this - their first rule is to always obey the safe words, it overrules all other rules - but she knew he wouldn’t. He would make his resistance interesting by actually using his wits to escape, not taking the low road and using the safe words just because he feels taken down a notch by being so easily bound while being completely aware of her game.

However, he didn’t seem to want to play her game. That would make sense; he’s not one to beg, but Erika set her ambitions on hearing him plead, so by the oracle that’s what’s going to happen.

She smiled at his low growl before taking her weight off of the hands on his chest, turning back to the drawer she pulled the rope from - she still had a few other techniques to disarm him further...

“Not in the mood to ask, huh? I’m sure that’ll change.”

Lance’s gaze flicked over to the dark, thin cloth she held in her hand, and then to her playful grin as she looked back at him. He could do nothing to resist her as she used both hands to place the cloth meticulously over his eyes and around his head, tucking the loose ends behind him to keep it in place.

“Not too tight?”

Erika gently tested the tightness of the blindfold by slipping a finger between the cloth and his skin, finding it loose enough to provide comfort but tight enough to keep him effectively blind.

Lance openly bared his teeth and snarled at her from deep in his throat - not the first time he’s done that, usually when he’s angered or irritated in ways he doesn’t know how to express, but occasionally to humor her. It was a mix of both irritation and humor that drove him to snarl this time.

“Oh dear! I suppose I should beg for you not to hurt me?” Her voice was a coy, amused teasing that drew a mean but genuine smile from Lance as they both shared a hushed laugh.

“Only if you don’t want me to hurt you.” He purred.

Erika hummed in response as her weight shifted above him.

“I don’t think there’s a lot you could do right now anyways.” Her voice was silky and light as she teased him, and the only warning Lance had was her weight settling between his legs again before she licked a path up the middle of his sac until the base of his cock. He gasped a quick moan, the smile dropping from his face before he clamped his mouth shut and bit his lower lip. 

This woman would be the death of him.

Erika held his shaft with two fingertips of one hand as she brushed her lips up his length, stopping just before his head before ghosting her way back down. She moved to the soft, sensitive skin between his thigh and sac again - this time on the other side than she was before - and gently sucked a small portion of the skin into her mouth, licking and attentively sucking to assure she wasn’t being too rough to the point of pain. The hand that wasn’t holding his twitching cock rested on the inner of his thigh as she moved again, pressing a firm, wet kiss to the curve of his sac. The muscles under her hand tensed as she did so before she pulled back slightly.

“I can keep at this for a good, long time you know. Are you sure you want to be that stubborn? I could relieve you, all you need to do is ask nicely.” Erika drew the words out tauntingly, watching the dragon’s facial expressions as she spoke and hoping he would give some hint that he would crack and yield to begging.

However, Lance refused to give in so soon. He knew he was in a bad position; he couldn’t move, couldn’t see, and now he feared opening his mouth for any reason lest he somehow ended up pleading instead, but he refused to go down without a fight. Instead, he took a steady breath and willed himself to relax as much as possible again, mentally steeling himself to avoid any possible temptation of pleading for her from entering his mind.

All of his mental preparation, however, fled from him when he felt her fingertips brushing his inner thigh, before warm, silken lips took one of his balls into her mouth as her tongue gently lapped at his skin. 

Fire rolled underneath his skin as he tensed again, impulsively flexing his arms and pulling down before they came to an abrupt halt as the rope reached it’s limit. A shaky, rumbling breath made it’s way from his throat as electricity surged through his veins and settled at the base of his cock, sparked from the persistent restraint that rendered him helpless. In this moment he never wanted to break a restraint so badly, so he resolved to pulling further against the ropes, encouraged by the faint creak of either bed or rope, until he couldn’t find it within himself to apply more pressure while under such states of intense desire. 

Erika glanced up as she swirled her tongue around the tender skin, her own skin shivering momentarily as she watched Lance’s display of strength against his restraints. She sucked harder at him - testing the limits - as the thrill encouraged her, wondering how long this could continue for before the ropes broke under the might of the ice dragon. Did it even occur to him to perhaps use his ice to freeze the rope and snap it? Was he fully aware, but wished to prove that he could escape without the use of his dragon ability? Erika watched with anticipation as she teased him, awaiting his next move. How wonderful it was, doing something so lewd to such a powerful man as he fought for control under the weight of his own rules.

She adjusted herself again, gently releasing his skin from her mouth before teasing her lips around his other ball, only to back away again a few short moments later.

Lance huffed a shaky breath as he relaxed slightly, the ropes binding him loosening just a bit when he did so.

“What do you want me to do, hmm? What do you want me to do next?” Erika watched Lance closely again as she spoke, once again attempting to assess where his level of self-control was.

Lance parted his lips, unknown but desperate words lingering at the tip of his tongue, before he resorted to shaky breathing. He knew she could keep at this game for a while, keeping him at the edge of pleasure and infuriating him just enough so he would eventually buckle and give her what she wanted, but he still wasn’t ready - he had a bit of composure left.

However, the one small gesture told Erika exactly what she needed to know. She kissed along his lower abdomen, nipping lightly once in a while, before dipping back down to his ball sac, taking the first ball gently into her mouth to tease again before letting go and taking the one she neglected into her mouth. Lance’s back arched slightly in response and he bucked his hips when she began tracing her tongue over the sensitive skin. Her hand caressed his cock, thumb rising to pass over his slit where precum was dripping, and stroked once as he bit his lip and tensed against his restraints again.

Erika released him from her mouth and moved to lean over his cock, running the tip of her tongue from his sac, up his throbbing shaft, until she felt the ridge of his head before backing away again.

“I need you to beg for me, Lance. Tell me what you want me to do.”

She spoke knowing he was probably drowning in relentless waves of pleasure from her bold actions, hoping it would weaken his resolve further. For assurance that her tactic would work, she immediately leaned back down after speaking and ran the flat of her tongue over his cock head, tasting the salty tang of precum as she passed over his slit.

Lance grunted, a minor desperate note in the sound, and rolled his hips, gasping faintly when he felt her lips brush his head momentarily. However, Erika quickly pulled back, taking both hands off of him and refusing to initiate skin contact.

“Lance,” she started, her voice a lewd murmur. She knew exactly how far to push him now. “If you want that you need to beg. Beg to feel my lips sucking you off.”

Erika traced a finger over his cock head before leaning back down and running her tongue underneath the ridge, brushing her lips over his head in a soft kiss as she laid her hand on his abdomen and dragged her palm lower, towards his sac.

Lance bit his lip and groaned again as Erika gently took his sac in hand and squeezed softly, before she pulled away and held his cock in her palm instead. She teased one of his balls into her mouth again, adjusting properly as Lance’s hips rolled when she stroked his cock, and swirled her tongue around it before sucking lightly and pulling gently back.

“Fuck, Erika, please!”

The words escaped Lance before he had a chance to argue against himself, caught agonizingly in the desperation of wanting to feel her lips around him again. Tight coils settled in his lower abdomen as his cock throbbed in her palm, and the precum that was slowly slickening her touch on him only encouraged his desire to feel her lips sucking him off.

“Please what?”

Erika pulled gently away from him to speak, brushing her lips over his skin still and flicking her tongue out to lap at his cock when she could.

“I...” The dragon hesitated, not knowing how to find his words.

Erika leaned back down momentarily and sucked the flesh of his sac into her mouth, purposely excluding his balls, before releasing again and dragging her tongue from his sac, between his balls, up to his head. Lance jerked momentarily against his restraints and released a faint growl as he bucked his hips, and Erika humored him by complying to his wishes and wrapped her lips around the head of his cock, swirling her tongue and lightly sucking as she pulled steadily back to release him again. Lance’s hips rose off the bed to keep his cock in contact with her lips as she pulled away.

“Fuck, alright! I need you to suck me off! I need to feel you!”

His hips rested against the bed as Erika pushed him back down, bobbing her head once to take him further into her mouth. Her tongue ran along the underside of his shaft as his cock throbbed, precum seeping out of his slit to mix with her saliva and help slicken him. Lance moaned as he rolled his hips, enjoying the warm wetness of her mouth before she pulled away again.

“If you beg more I’ll swallow.”

“Only if I can watch.”

She smiled as she leaned up and grasped the blindfold, and with a flick of her wrist the blindfold drifted off the bed and towards the ground. Her eyes met with Lance’s piercing blue eyes - weighed heavy with lust - for only a moment before she leaned back down and took his cock in her mouth again.

Lance’s gaze followed her as she bobbed her head, gently sucking and swirling her tongue around his head when she came back up. One of her hands came to the base of his shaft, encircling her thumb and forefinger around his base and squeezing. He groaned and slightly rolled his hips, embracing another wave of warm electricity that came cascading through his veins as he tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

Erika pulled back for a moment, tilting her head to the side to lick along the dry skin further down on his shaft before taking his head in her mouth again. She eased herself further down, slowing as she felt his head press against the back of her mouth, but persisted and relaxed herself so she could take more of his cock.

Lance gasped quietly as Erika swallowed him, pulling against his restraints before releasing a loud groan.

“Fuck yes. Let me cum in your mouth, please let me cum in your throat.”

Lance’s voice was low - laced with the rumblings of a growl - as his abdomen tensed and breathing increased to a light pant. He rolled his hips as gently as possible, asking for more without making her too uncomfortable to the point of pulling away.

Erika released his base and took the rest of his shaft into her palm, slowly backing off to allow herself a moment to relax as her hand followed the direction of her head movement. She swirled her tongue around his head and stroked his shaft, pulling away momentarily to drag her tongue up the middle of his sac and take one of his balls into her mouth again. The pad of her thumb swiped across his slit, spreading more precum as he groaned, before she gently pulled her mouth away with a gentle tug and took his head into her mouth again.

Her hand stroked his cock at the same pace that she bobbed her head, continuously going deeper every time, and licking the sensitive underside of the ridge below his head when she came back up, until his head was pressing against her throat again. She gently squeezed his shaft once as she relaxed herself and took him further into her throat again, giving herself a moment to adjust before moving slightly.

Lance groaned as she took him into her throat again, abdomen tightening and hips rolling like earlier. He panted, casting a glance at her to make sure she wasn’t displaying signs of distress, before gently bucking his hips. Erika held steady, meeting his gentle movements with further advancements of her own as she stroked with her hand what she could. Lance squinted his eyes shut again, a small shiver rippling through him as he felt his oncoming release.

“Let me... please! Yes, like that!”

He panted his words and arched his back as Erika tightened her throat around him, applying more pressure to the underside of his shaft with her tongue and pulling back slightly for a moment before swallowing him again.

Lance struggled against the restraints again - tensing and pulling so hard he was sure that he’d break something - before the impending wave of fire rolled through him. He bucked his hips a last time, a shout escaping him as he released himself. 

Erika held still as Lance’s cock throbbed in her throat, a strong, salty taste making itself apparent a few moments later as the dragon panted and slowly relaxed. She gently pulled back after a few heartbeats - keeping in mind that he would likely be sensitive now - before glancing up and locking her gaze with a sated blue gaze. Without a moment’s hesitation, she swallowed and licked her lips, as promised, and Lance narrowed his eyes slightly.

Her gaze broke from his and she leaned off the side of the bed, taking his discarded shirt from earlier.

“You can clean yourself up, right? I need to wash myself off quickly, I’ll be back in a minute.”

She tossed the shirt casually onto Lance’s chest and rose tediously from the bed, testing to make sure she could stand after so long in an odd position.

“Uh... wait!? I can’t...”

Minor alarm laced Lance’s voice - a rare thing to hear from him - so Erika immediately stopped all she was doing and looked towards him, remembering now that he couldn’t, in fact, clean himself up. He was still restrained.

“Wait, you really can’t break out of that!?”

Sure he was restrained, but the last rope he broke was much stronger than the current one, and not as frayed as this old one. Apparently the little old rope could stand to a dragon’s strength.

He merely gave her a look;  a raised eyebrow combined with a half amused glare.

“Your ice-”

“Hey, I can answer that question while you unite me.”

Lance watched her stubbornly, a twitch at the corner of his mouth signaling the beginning of a small smile.

Erika rolled her eyes.

“Your ice can’t freeze it then shatter it or something?”

She was sure he had that ability, so why didn’t he just do that? Regardless, she went to untying him, gently loosening the ropes around him and affectionately brushing her hands along his arms to soothe any pains the rope could have caused from his fighting, until he was completely free.

And then she was grabbed by the waist and pinned on the bed.

“What-”

“You really think you can tie me up, blindfold me, and then ask me to beg for you without there being consequences? I think it’s only fair that you know what that feels like now.”

Lance already had both her wrists pinned under his large hand and was setting to work with the rope, and Erika couldn’t help but fight the anticipating grin that slowly overcame her as she realized what that would entail for her.

She hoped for a moment that the rope would break, and then decided against it. If begging for Lance came along with his tantalizing teasing, she certainly couldn’t complain.

~I hope you like this! I don’t entirely know how to talk teasingly so the dialogue might not be the best, but otherwise I think I wrote pretty well. 😂

Thank you for asking, darling! ❤️

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[minghaocouture]

Title: Crazy in Love Pairing: Xu Minghao (SVT) x Gender Neutral Reader Genre: Fluff, Single Parent AU Warnings: Mild Language WC: 8k+ Collab: Love is: on the Radio - hosted by @haechanblr and @secndlife​

A/N: So...I know this is an x reader but when writing this I definitely focused more on Minghao’s relationship with the reader’s daughter, and I’m not sorry. I absolutely loved this prompt and got a bit carried away with it lol. Also I did use the term ‘Nini’ as a gender neutral parent term for the reader! Also, ALSO am I dropping this after almost 3 months of inactivity...yes, did I write this back in like...December? Also yes.

Tag List: @woozisnoots @kpop-in-new-albion @tleeee @uglychildd @samemagicpoint @rjsmochii @svtjuniverse @karmacqre @dwcljh @taeyeon-got-shmoney @seungsanhun @haotheheckk​ @karrotkarrotkarrot​ @skylions-den​ @sehunnies-hunnie96​ @coppertrashi​

“That’s a wrap for today. Great job everyone, remember to practice at home during the week okay?” 

A small chorus of affirmation echoed through the small dance hall. Minghao couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he watched his class pack up their belongings so that they could join their parents out in the waiting room. It was always a bittersweet feeling, sure he liked teaching his adult classes but the lessons with the children were always much more entertaining. Always dancing just for the fun of it all, rather than for some end goal. A part of him missed being that carefree, which is probably why his 6-10 class was his favorite.

“Mr. Haohao.” He was pulled from his thoughts by the small voice of one of his students, Sofie. She was rather short for a 7 year old, but she made up for her height with her fiery temper. He’d even seen her hit one of the older boys once when he had been insulting one of their classmates (which he had let slide, chastising her slightly but also getting onto the boy she had punched for being rude.). Currently though, that fiery temper was replaced with a small almost pitiful pout. 

“Uncle Jiji isn’t here…” She muttered, her tiny fists clenched the straps of her backpack as she stared up at him. It wasn’t the first time this had happened, and honestly Hao felt bad for the young girl. She was usually dropped off an hour or so earlier than the rest of the class, so she was forced to sit with her back against the wall as Minghao taught his ages 11-15 class, and she would always be the last to be picked up. He had never met her parents before, only this ‘Uncle’ of hers named Jihoon, who was almost consistently late when it came to picking her up.

Minghao knelt down and gave her a small smile, gesturing his head towards his office to the left. Such a simple action had a small grin start to spread over the child’s face.

“Well, you can head to my office. You know where the snacks are so help yourself.” Just like that, her sour mood was turned on its head and she let out a cheer before dashing towards his open office door. He pushed himself back up, and followed after her, preparing to get some paperwork done before his next class which thankfully wasn’t for another hour and a half. He watched as she climbed into his desk chair and pulled open the top drawer of his work desk. He had started stashing snacks in there after the first few times she had been left here after hours, as people tend to get hungry after dancing and Sofie was no exception. 

As soon as the pepero box was in her hand, she jumped off of the chair and dashed over to one of the plush armchairs that he kept on the other side of his desks for when he had meetings. Minghao couldn’t help but laugh a bit as she tore open the lid of the box, grumbling at the foil bagging on the inside and how it always seemed to give her trouble when she tried to open it. Minghao took his seat, letting her fumble with the item for a moment as he got a few of his papers in order. He knew better than to offer help too early, she would get upset if he did, so he always waited. 

As if on cue, she sat up on her knees in the chair and leaned over his desk with the box stretched out towards him.

“Open please!” He did just that, ripping the thin foil with ease before passing the box back to the child. She quickly began munching away on the chocolate sticks and Minghao began working. It was sort of a routine that the two had developed since she started talking lessons with him.

“Sofie, why doesn’t your parents ever come pick you up?” The question left his lips before he could stop it. Despite the girl’s unusual situation, he tried not to pry into the lives of his students so he had never asked. He just let her leave with Jihoon, who had also signed her up for the class, and then went through the same routine the next week.

He watched as the young girl pulled another stick out of the box, shoving it into her mouth at lightning fast speeds. Watching her, it reminded him of a chipmunk the way she was furiously munching at the snack as if it would disappear if she took too long.

“Nini works a lot! So they ask Uncle Jiji for help sometimes.” She began, munching loudly on her pepero as she swung her tiny legs out to lightly kick his desk. He had asked her once why she did that, and she just said she liked the noise it made, so he didn’t bother telling her to stop. “But Nini always comes home after work and we play tea party and superheroes together before bedtime!”

It wasn’t a lot of information but at least Minghao had a small grasp on the situation. At least it seemed like Sofie was coping well? Or at least from what he could tell, obviously he wasn’t around all the time. Despite that, he had come to care for the young girl after all the time the two had spent together. 

As he went to ask another question he heard the sound of the door to his dance studio swinging open, followed by the heavy sound of footsteps. His head snapped towards the door to his office, but from the angle he was at he couldn’t see whoever had entered.

“Sofie??” An unfamiliar voice echoed through the empty space. This person was obviously looking for the little girl sitting across from Minghao, but it wasn’t the familiar voice of her Uncle this time. Before Minghao could look back over at the child to question her, she had already bolted out of room and towards the mysterious voice. So, Minghao did what any sane person would do and followed her.

“Nini!” The child screamed, rushing over to the ‘stranger’ and jumping into your open arms as you knelt down. The person, whom Hao was now assuming was in fact Sofie’s parent, pulled the girl close and held her tightly. “Nini, I thought you had to be a vampire hunter tonight??”

You laughed, pulling away from the girl just enough to squeeze her cheeks between your palms. Sofie laughed as her you  shook her head from side to side, making a no motion.

“Well, they didn’t need me anymore. Turns out I’d fought most of those silly vampires! So I came to pick you up,” Your smile softened, and just from that Hao watched your smile drop for a fraction of a second as you explained yourself. He could only assume that you had been fired from...vampire hunting? He was definitely going to ask about that, he was a bit too curious not to. 

Sofie let out a cheer and threw her arms up into the air, knowing that you would now be able to spend more time with her. Almost as if she just realized where she was, Sofie pulled away from you, and turned back to look at Minghao. 

“Mr. Haohao! This is my Nini! They came to get me instead of Uncle Jiji!” She exclaimed, her hand wrapped tightly around your much larger one as she introduced the two of them. He couldn’t help but laugh a bit as Sofie bounced on the balls of her feet, obviously excited to introduce the two of you. You stood and flashed him a small nervous smile and gave a small wave with your free hand. It was such a simple action but Minghao had to admit that your smile was cute, even as small as it was now.

Seeing you also brought a bit of comfort to the male. He had been a bit concerned about Sofie’s home life, but he could tell how much you cared for your daughter. It was a relief to know that she was loved so much.

“Sorry for being late, there was some really bad traffic and I had to make sure Jihoon didn’t try and come pick her up too. That would have been awkward, ya know I get here and she’s already gone.” You rambled, which Minghao thought was fair, it was your first time meeting and first meetings with teachers were always awkward. So Minghao shook his head, as if to tell you that it wasn’t a big deal.

“Sofie’s a good kid, Jihoon’s usually late to come pick her up so we’re used to hanging out until her ride gets here. Isn’t that right Sofie?” At his question, the girl rapidly nodded to confirm. She quickly held up her basically empty box of pepero, shoving it as high towards your face as she could. 

“Mr. Haohao gives me snacks when I wait, so you can keep coming late.” Her words brought a laugh to the two of you. It was a tender moment, one that Hao was surprisingly content with being a part of.

“Why don’t you go grab your bag so we can head home, Uncle Gyu is coming over to make dinner tonight for us while Nini looks for a new job.” You instructed, patting your daughter on the back before watching her run back to the office you had seen her come out of. With Sofie gone, you looked back over at Minghao and the look on his face made your heart catch in your throat. He was watching after Sofie, as if she had hung the stars just for him as she dashed through his studio. The moment was soon over and he turned his attention towards you. 

“So, vampire hunting?” 

“I work...worked at an Italian restaurant, and Sofie says that I’m hunting vampires because of the garlic in the food. I figured I’d let her think that for now, didn’t want to crush her imagination and all.” Hao nodded, chuckling a bit to himself and thinking about how many little stories Sofie would tell him during their times waiting for her ride. It made sense now if her parent was encouraging her.

“Again, sorry for being late. I just...coming to get her was pretty last minute. I wasn’t supposed to be off until after 10.” Once more Hao gestured for you to stop, with a small soft smile of his face.

“Like I said, it’s fine. Sofie’s a good kid, and my next class doesn’t start for another hour. So it’s no problem for me. Honestly, it’d probably be a bit weird for me if she just suddenly was getting picked up on time.” He confessed, it was strange that he was admitting this to you. Usually he was a bit more closed off towards the adults, but you just seemed like someone he could be honest with. Like he could literally just say things and you could listen. 

He felt a strange happiness well in his chest as you let out a laugh, as if he had just told you the funniest joke ever.

“Noted, I’ll make sure to be at least ten minutes late from now on. But if you ever want her out of here earlier just let me know.”

“How would I do that without your number?” Minghao thought himself pretty smooth with that one. He wasn’t...technically flirting, but he wouldn’t mind talking to you more often. He met so many parents that either seemed to be filled with disdain for their kids or had only signed them up for his classes so that they could force their old dreams onto them. You didn’t seem like that, and he was grateful. 

“Shit, I totally didn’t have Jihoon give it to you when he signed her up did I? Here.” With a groan you pulled out your phone, tapping on the device for a moment before passing it over for Hao to put his number in. Wasn’t the exact reaction Hao was hoping for but it was so endearing that he didn’t mind. 

As soon as the phone was handed to him, Sofie came rushing out of the office with chocolate smeared around her lips and instead of her box of pepero she now had a small bar of the chocolate clutched in her tiny fist. He heard another small laugh escape your lips as you knelt back down in front of the young girl.

“And what do we say to Mr. Minghao?” The leading question had Sofie pause, her eyes widening as she wracked her little brain for the correct answer. When it seemed she had figured it out, she turned to face her teacher once more. 

“Thank you Mr.Haohao for the snacks!”

“And…?”

“And….for…”

“Watching me while I wait for Nini.” You whispered the answer to the young girl who parroted it back to Minghao. The male passed your phone back over to you as you returned to full height, contact info saved into the small device. Soon goodbyes were being said and the two of you were exiting the building.

Needless to say, he was a bit hopeful to see you again.

Which was exactly what happened, now every Tuesday after class he and Sofie would wait about 15 minutes and you would arrive. You would have some small chats while Sofie showed off to you what she learned that day. It was nice, and Minghao was growing just as fond of you as he was Sofie.

These casual chats led to more messages between the two of you as well. You would see some funny meme and send it his way, sometimes you would even send videos of Sofie practicing her choreography at home in a room he could only assume was hers. The plethora of toys shoved into the corner as she practiced was kind of a give away. In return he would send you images of things he’d made for dinner, or if he saw a cat on his way to work he would snap a picture for you. He could almost say that they two of you had become actual friends, despite not seeing each other outside of that designated time frame on Tuesday nights.

Today though, wasn’t a day he would be seeing you. It being a Friday, and one of the only days where he doesn’t schedule classes, he was getting errands done. Though for some reason he had decided to bring Soonyoung and Junhui, his roommate, grocery shopping with him. Something that he already knew was a bad idea, the two were like children and after the fourth time that one of them tried to sneak in a non essential item into their cart, Minghao felt regret filling him. 

Never again.

“Sooo, the Valentines dance recital thing is coming up soon right?” Junhui questioned, his eyes drifting over to Soonyoung who was once again trying to put some popsicles into the basket without Minghao noticing. Unfortunately for him, he was about as silent as the tiger he claimed to be.

Minghao grabbed the box from his hands without looking and returned it to the freezer where it belonged before grabbing the handle of the cart and continuing down the aisle. 

“Yeah, my kids class and my adults class seem to be prepared but my teens are struggling.” He confessed, turning left and entering the next aisle. His eyes scanned the shelfs for the items that they needed at home, hoping he didn’t forget anything. He had previously had a list but Junhui had distracted him on the way out and so it was left sitting uselessly on their kitchen counter. 

Soonyoung, still pouting, was gripping the edge of the cart like a child making the metal basket swerve like a drunk person was driving it before he spoke. 

“I’m sure they’ll be fine. You’re a good teacher so just keep doing what you’re doing and they’ll be ready.

As Hao was about to agree with the elder male, a loud shriek came from behind the trio. This was followed by the sound of footsteps running against the tile floor of the supermarket, and the weight of something slamming into the back of Minghao’s legs, which nudged both him and the cart forward.

“Mr. Haohao!!” Only now did he realize just where the scream came from. Doing his best to twist his head around to see the small girl who was currently clinging to his legs, he grinned. 

“Nice to see you too Sofie.” He greeted as the girl pulled away, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she stared up at him with wonder in her eyes.

“What you doing here?” She questioned, her hands moving up to fiddle with the zipper of her jacket. “I thought you would asplode (explode) if you left the dance place!” 

He heard a series of laughs coming from his roommates, and he rolled his eyes at them before kneeling down in front of the child. 

“Nope, I gotta leave there sometimes too, kiddo. My roommates would get lonely if I didn’t come back.” He reached out lightly pinched one of her cheeks, which brought a small bubble of laughter from her as she shoved his hand away. He did also leave out that his roommates would probably burn their apartment complex to the ground if he wasn’t at home at least...some of the time. Sofie didn’t need to know about his dysfunctional found family. 

Speaking of family, he glanced up looking to see if he could fine either you or Jihoon somewhere in the aisle, but no such luck.

“Where’s your Nini?” He questioned, his eyes returning to Sofie as she continued to bounce around happily. The young girl shrugged in response.

“I wanted to play hide and seek! So I hid!” Just as she spoke, the crackle of the loud speaker went off above the group, causing all three men to look up in surprise. A male worker’s voice began the announcement, letting the store know that a ‘Sofie’ was in fact missing, before describing what she would be wearing and finishing off the broadcast by asking for her to be brought to customer service if she was located. 

The trio’s eyes landed on the young girl, who didn’t seem to be phased at all by the announcement. Minghao couldn’t help but laugh as he stood back up. 

“Well, we better help you find Nini then.”

“I wanna ride in the buggy!” She exclaimed, her arms stretching out in the universal sign that she wanted to be lifted up. So Minghao did as she requested, lifting the girl and situating her in the children’s seat of the cart.  

The duo next to the cart quickly began chatting with Sofie, asking her all sorts of questions about the princess dress she was wearing, what her favorite game was, literally anything. It was pretty funny, and she was 100% willing to give them whatever answers they asked for. 

“It’s nice to finally meet the famous Sofie.” Soonyoung eventually said, grinning at the tiny girl as the group traversed through the store towards the front where customer service was. “Your Mr.Haohao has told us all about you, he even says you’re the best in his class!”

“Soonyoung…”

“He’s right,” Sofie agreed almost instantly, nodding rapidly in response. “ ‘Cause I listen, I don’t talk in class! Like Ria or Jinjin! They talk all the time, and Mr. Haohao has to give them tally marks!” She continued to ramble on about her classmates, as they continued their trek.

It gave Minghao a small sense of...domestic life. He wondered if this was what his kid would be like if he ever had one. He had never been able to imagine himself as a father, he was far too busy for that. Yet in that moment, he hoped that if he did ever have kids, that they would be at least half as charming as little Sofie.

As they pulled into view of the customer service area, Hao could see you standing nervously at the front. Gently chewing on the nail of your thumbs and tapping your foot as your anxiety grew. So before they reached the area, Hao stopped the cart and looked down at you.

“Sofie, you should apologize to your Nini.”

“Why?” Her tiny head tilted to the side in confusion, not understanding the need for an apology when in her mind she had done nothing wrong. She had just wanted to play and it wasn’t her fault that Nini wasn’t good at hide and seek.  

“Because you scared Nini, and that’s not nice. You don’t want to be mean, do you?” His words had the young girl gasping in shock, she of course hadn’t thought of it like that. Before Minghao could say anymore, her tiny eyes welled up with tears. Hao’s heart dropped at the sight, he had never seen the young girl cry and to his shock it made him feel terrible. She didn’t say a word though, simply shaking her head as she sniffled, silent tears beginning to streak down her cheeks. 

“Good job Hao, you made her cry.” Soonyoung quipped causing Junhui to snort slightly as the group began walking again. Once close enough, Hao called out your name, causing you to turn and look at them. When you eyes landed on your daughter’s back you let out a large sigh of relief. 

Hao carefully picked up the small girl once more, setting her feet on the ground just as you rushed up and knelt down in front of her. As soon as you were within her sight, she let out a soft sob. Which was a bit surprising to Minghao, he had expected wailing like with most children but Sofie was different...he already knew that though.

“Nini, I’m sorry!! Mr. Haohao said I scareded you!” She exclaimed, wrapping her short arms around your neck as she cried. Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around your daughter, resting her weight on your hip as you let her cry into your shoulder. A few comforting words leaving your lips as you tried to calm her down, confirming that you were scared but only because you didn’t want her to get hurt. After a moment her tiny sobs became non-existant, and she turned her head in the crook of your shoulder so that she could watch as you began speaking to Minghao and his roommates.

“Thanks Minghao, I’m honestly so grateful you’re the one who found her. I was so worried some creep had just run off with her.” You confessed, stroking Sofie’s back as you spoke. Before Minghao could respond to you, Junhui came up to his side and rested his elbow on the shorter male’s shoulder.

“Just call him Hao the Hero! That’s what we do!”

“You do not!” Minghao retorted, lightly shoving Junhui away from him and rolling his eyes. That was enough to get Sofie’s attention again.

“Mr. Haohao is a superhero?! I knew it!” She exclaimed, dried tears and snot still one her face, but the former emotions seemed to be all gone as she was now excited at the possibility of her teacher being a superhero. You couldn’t help but laugh at your daughters antics once again.

“I really owe you guys one, I don’t know what I would have done if anything happened to her.” 

Once again, Minghao found himself stunned silent by the smile plastered on your face. It was like a scene in some romcom film, where he was the love struck protagonist that was struggling to find the words to speak.

Wait...love? His heart was pounding in his chest at this realization. Sure the two of you messaged each other more casually now but...love? He never thought he would be someone who could fall in love, figuring he’d be alone forever, maybe buy a cat or two for company if Junhui and Soonyoung ever moved out. But love had always seemed like such a far reaching concept for him. 

“You could make it up to us and come have dinner at our place tonight!” Soonyoung exclaimed, almost as if he could see the gears in Hao’s head as they turned. Minghao felt his heart leap into his throat as his head snapped over to Soonyoung, who continued. “Hao’s making dinner tonight, and we love having guests!”

As if your situation was mimicking Minghao’s own, you were cut off and unable to answer when your daughter spoke.

“I wanna go! I wanna!” She exclaimed, bouncing as you held her causing your frame to shake a bit from the little one’s excitement. With a chuckle, you nodded firmly.

“Well, if Fi wants to go then I guess I can’t say no.”

“Yeah! You said is rude to say no to inva-invamatations” Sofie declared with a firm nod. With a small correction to her sentence, you looked back over at Hao with a small smile.

“I...better finish up my shopping. Just, text me when it’s good for us to head over. Sofie’s bedtime is at 9 though so…”

“I usually make dinner around 6 so you should be able to get her home in time for bed.”

The smile that spread across your face was enough to send Minghao’s heart into overdrive.

“I’ll see you then.”

Once again, Minghao watched the two of you walk off to go finish your shopping. This time he could hear Sofie explaining that she made friends with Soonyoung and Junhui too and that she was going to draw everyone in a picture before dinner tonight. Minghao was snapped out of his longing stare when Junhui lightly elbowed him in the gut.

“You’ve got it bad, Mr. ‘I-make-dinner-at-6.’. I don’t think you’ve cooked dinner before 10pm in all the years we’ve known each other.” Minghao felt the tips of his ears heat up at the accusation. He refused to make eye contact with his roommates who were casually throwing out teasing comments in his direction. 

If Minghao thought that the teasing would stop once they arrived home and he started meal prep for the night, then he was a fool. In fact it only got worse. It eventually came down to Minghao threatening to kick the two older men out of the house until dinner was over. Despite some whining, the two agreed to calm down their teasing. For now at least.

“So...you really like them don’t you?” Junhui questioned. The tall man had climbed up onto the free space of the counter, sitting cross legged as he watched Minghao cook. He didn’t seem to be teasing this time, his curiosity genuine.

Minghao paused for a moment, staring at the dish he was cooking as if the food would give him the answer he desired. Unsurprisingly, it did no such thing. So he didn’t respond, which prompted Jun to continue.

“I mean, you get along well with their kid so...it wouldn’t be weird if the two of you got together.”

“Look, I know you mean well but I don’t want to pressure them. I also don’t want to lose Sofie. If I tell them about these feelings I’ve caught, they might be uncomfortable and take Sofie out of my class.” Minghao confessed, it was weird saying these things out loud. Things he had only thought about in passing before today, since he had just now realized how much he had grown to care for you.

“I don’t think they’d do that,” Jun retorted, his eyes staring up at the ceiling as a small mischievous grin slithered onto his face. “They were looking at you with the exact same heart eyes that you had.”

“Shut up, and get out.” Hao groaned, trying to return his focus on the meal so that he didn’t ruin anything. 

Which he didn’t, the dinner was a success with both you and Sofie loving the food. There was a soft, almost domestic aura surrounding the table that the five of you sat at, even with Soonyoung and Junhui there. Sofie seemed overjoyed to be there, looking around every few minutes and asking questions like ‘why don’t you live at the dance studio?’ among other things. It was something Minghao could grow accustomed to. 

As the night began to wind down, Soonyoung and Junhui offered to take Sofie out to play in the backyard. Something you were okay with, saying it would help tire her out before bed time. Minghao knew their motives though, they wanted to get you two alone and it made his heart flutter with anxiety. Hoping he wouldn’t say something dumb. 

He distracted himself by picking up the plates left behind by the goofball trio, as he had now dubbed them, and transporting them to the kitchen so that he could clean up. To his surprise, you followed behind him, picking up what dishes he couldn’t grab on his first trip.

“Here, let me help.” You offered, your eyes scanning for a scrub brush near the sink so that you could clean off some of the dishes. Minghao quickly shook his head, taking the dishes from your hands after setting down his own. 

“No way, you’re the guest.”

“And you made dinner, it’s only fair I help.” Right then was when Minghao realized just who Sofie got her puppy dog eyes from, for you were giving him basically the exact same look. He felt his heart seize up and he quickly averted his gaze before you could see the flush growing on his face. 

“Fine, I’ll wash them and you can dry.”

The task went by rather quickly with the both of you working. He would scrub and rinse before passing them off for you to try the excess water off and set them in the drying rack. It was silent as the two of you filed things away, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. In fact Minghao would have found it quite comforting if not for his worry that you could somehow hear how fast his heart was beating. 

“Sofie’s really fond of you.” You said, setting the last dish into the rack before turning your gaze to the young dance teacher. “She’s always talking about you when we’re at home. I think by this point most of the art she’s put on our fridge also has you in it too. I guess what I want to say is...thank you for being so kind to her.”

Minghao couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he met your gaze.

“You don’t have to thank me, I enjoy getting to spend time with her. She’s definitely better company than my nosy roommates.” His words brought a bright laugh from you, covering your mouth as you did so. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from you, feeling his heart swell with this newly realized feeling. He liked that he could make you laugh or smile.

The silence returned, the two of you locking eyes once more. From your body language, he could tell that you were struggling to speak, words lingering just beyond the surface that you didn’t know how to get out. So he decided to say fuck it.

“Are you doing anything on Valentine’s day?” As soon as the words left his lips it was as if time had frozen. Was that too presumptuous? Should he have not mentioned the holiday? Sure he knew you weren’t seeing someone at the moment, you had told him yourself, but that didn’t calm his nerves.

“Yeah, my uh...one of my jobs was asking for people who didn’t have plans if they could work that day so...I said yes.” You replied sheepishly. He felt his heart sink a bit, he knew you worked a lot. Being a single parent was expensive so you had taken two jobs to support your family, which was why your best friend Jihoon, who worked from home, usually babysat Sofie when you were busy. 

“Ah. That makes sense.” He couldn’t stop the light disappointment from seeping into his words. His eyes flickering to the floor, embarrassed. Only for them to snap back up to you as you spoke once more.

“But...I might be free sometime the week after.” You confessed, causing a small bit of hope to return to the male. “I know the Valentine’s recital is on the 15th, and that was my only real day off that week.”

“How would Friday the 20th sound? I don’t have any classes that day?” He jumped in, his heart thumping loudly in his chest as he watched your face twist into one of deep thought. Another moment of silence passed between the two of you before you broke out in a grin.

“I’m pretty sure I can get that night off. So...it’s a date?”

***

Time seemed to pass almost too quickly, the next week was Valentine’s day and the dance recital. The day of recitals was probably the most stressful day of his career, he was always running around and making sure everything was set up and that no problems would arise. Much to his relief, everything went fine, of course there were some minor mess ups, but other than that all of his classes were spectacular.

As things began to wind down, students said their goodbyes and Minghao began the arduous task of cleaning up. 

“Told you everything was gonna go great!” Soonyoung exclaimed. The elder male began unplugging the lights that had been set up for the show, as he and Junhui had stayed after to help Minghao clean up. The teacher laughed softly and nodded, while his roommates might be a little...wild, they were the kind of optimism that he needed in his life and Minghao was constantly grateful for them. Even if he rarely said the words out loud.

Grabbing his phone, which he had been using for the night’s music, he began deconstructing the speakers so that he could carry them back to the equipment room. 

“Sure, sure, you were right. I supposed a blue moon does happen every once in a while.”

“Hey!” Soonyoung exclaimed, pouting a bit as Junhui and Minghao laughed at his expense. It was times like these where he knew who his people were, times where he didn’t need anything else. Or at least they used to be, a small part of him felt like something was missing. As he thought this, a loud familiar call of his name echoed off the walls.

“Mr. Haohao!” Sofie’s familiar voice called, her footsteps thudding against the flooring as she ran towards him. She was, of course, still all dressed up from the recital. Soft pinks and whites covered her fluffy dress, the skirt bounced excitedly with every step she took. Without thinking of it, Minghao set down the speaker and knelt down as Sofie rushed up and jumped into his arms.

“Did I do good Mr. Haohao?” She questioned, hugging him tightly as she did so. He couldn’t help but laugh at her question before giving a small affirmation. 

“We both know you did great, Sofie. You’re a very talented dancer.” He reassured, causing a small noise of joy to escape the young girl.  “I really hope your Nini decides to sign you up for the next set of classes.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. I think Sofie would have my head if I didn’t sign her up again.” He had been so distracted talking to Sofie that he hadn’t even heard you approaching until you spoke. As his eyes strayed from the young girl in his arms, he was blown away. You had really outdone yourself tonight, all dressed up to look presentable for the recital. Not that you weren’t stunning beforehand, but he was still blown away nonetheless. For a moment he was just sitting there, staring at you, before he heard Junhui clear his throat behind him. 

He stood as Sofie let him go, returning to your side and taking your hand in her own. 

“We were...planning on going to get ice cream to celebrate the recital going well. Sofie wanted to invite you.” You began, Sofie nodding rapidly as she beamed up at him. It was definitely heart warming, but he knew he couldn’t. There was still so much work left to do and he couldn’t just leave it all for Junhui and Soonyoung. He opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off before any sound could escape him.

“Sure! He would love to go!” Junhui’s familiar cheerful voice cut through, causing Minghao to pause and turn back to look at his friend in shock. The male in question grinned, winking at Minghao. “We can finish up here, we’ve been around long enough that we know where everything goes.”

“But-”

Before Minghao could protest, Soonyoung had practically leapt over to the male and pulled him into a tight hug. His lips brushing up against Minghao’s ear as he squeezed him.

“I know you have a ‘date’ next week with them but you better go get ice cream tonight or so help me. You’ll be pouting about it all night.” It was very unlike Soonyoung to take control during situations like this, but Minghao knew that he was right. So he returned the hug, getting one last big squeeze from Soonyoung as he said goodbye. 

Sofie’s face lit up with the brightest smile he had ever seen when he confirmed that he would join the two of you for your daughter’s favorite after-dance dessert. Shoving his hands in his pockets, Minghao walked beside the two of you towards the entrance of the studio. As you neared the doors, Minghao felt a small tugging on his pants leg. He glanced down and saw Sofie’s hand extended up towards him, making small grabbing motions as she walked.

Taking the hint, he pulled his hand out of the pocket and it was soon firmly held in Sofie’s grip. In that moment, everything seemed to fit into place. He had thought about it before but he hadn’t really realized how much he wanted this until it was right in his hands.

Instead of taking a car, Sofie insisted that the three of you walk together. Chatting along as Sofie walked in between the two of you, swinging your arms excitedly as she talked about the recital. It was a nice little walk, the air thankfully was not too cold and the ice cream parlor was thankfully close by. It seemed like everything was moving so quickly and before Minghao knew it, it was over and Sofie was begging for him to go to their home so he could tuck her into bed.

So there he was, 8 at night and waiting awkwardly on your sofa as you get Sofie ready to go to sleep. He could hear the two of you chatting and heard something that caused his heart to practically stop.

“Nini, can Mr. Haohao be my new Papa?” The innocent question had him in shock, his hands sweating as he wrung them together. He couldn’t really hear your response but he heard the loud noise of affirmation from Sofie after, which was followed by the sound of footsteps rushing into the living room.

“Mr.Haohao! It’s sleep time!” Sofie exclaimed, clumsily leaping over the arm of the couch so she could fall onto his lap. A symphony of giggles coming from her lips as Minghao seemed to snap back to reality, lifting the girl up and standing from the couch. 

“Well then we better get you to bed, Princess.” He glanced back down the hallway where you were watching, and flashed you a small smile. You returned the gesture before turning on your heel to lead him down the hallway towards Sofie’s room. He had seen glimpses of the room before in the videos that you had sent to him, and it was definitely a room that fit the young girl. 

He made his way over to the small bed, noticing the Princess bed sheets and he could only assume that this was Merida. He wasn’t too well versed in Princesses, but Sofie had rambled to him about her favorite Princess so many times that it would be surprising if it were anyone else. He plopped her down gently on the mattress and watched as she wormed her way under the covers. 

“Mr. Haohao, can you come play with me tomorrow?” She questioned, stifling a yawn as she stared up at him. He chuckled softly, pulling the comforter up to her shoulders and patting her head softly. 

“I’ll ask your Nini and see what they say, but for now it’s time for sleep. Okay Fi?”

She nodded softly, rolling over to her side and squeezing her eyes shut. As if going to sleep quicker would enhance the chances of her seeing her favorite teacher tomorrow. 

Minghao stood from Sofie’s bedside and turned back to face you, the look on your face caused his heart to practically skip a beat. You hadn’t seen someone get Sofie to sleep that fast since Jihoon made her that sleepy time playlist. It definitely made your heart flutter to see him be so kind to your daughter, you could see how much he cared. It made you wish that he could care about you just as much.

***

A week later, Minghao was practically beside himself with anxiety. He knew he was extremely fashionable but every outfit he seemed to try and put together for his date with you just didn’t seem to cut it. Despite that concern he had still pulled together a nice comfortable outfit that fit with the small mom and pop diner’s feel.

The two of you had decided it would be best to meet at the restaurant rather than drive up there together. Though, waiting in this booth had to be the most stressful thing that had ever happened to him. He had honestly never been this nervous about a date before, but he really liked you and he...really liked having Sofie around, so he didn’t want to screw this up.

The sound of the door chime rang in his ears, followed by the sound of footsteps against the linoleum flooring. 

“Minghao, I’m so sorry I’m late! Sofie kept trying to come along and started crying when I was about to leave so it took me a bit longer to leave.” You explained, sliding into the booth with an apologetic smile on your face. You were a bit out of breath and your clothes a bit disheveled but Minghao had never seen anyone more breathtaking. You were about to continue your apology, worried that he would be upset that he had to wait, but before you could speak you found one of your hands being taken into his own.

“I’d have waited all night if it meant getting to have dinner with you.” All anxiety seemed to be gone now, and back was the calm and collected Minghao. If the night could have lasted forever, then Minghao would have liked it to. 

It wasn’t anything fancy, the two of you wanted to keep it more of a down low date. Though Minghao did wish that there was at least some wine, but that was just his personal preference. The two of you chatted through the dinner about everything, life, your jobs, anything and everything. Until finally the topic strayed towards Sofie.

“Her...other parent, they didn’t really want anything to do with her.” You explained, your eyes straying from Minghao and landing on the table. You hadn’t really spoken to anyone about this, everyone who needed to know had been around when things had gone down. So breaching this subject had been one you had been dreading. 

“It’s just been Sofie and me since she was born, I haven’t really tried...dating since then? I never wanted her to get attached to someone only for them to walk out on us. You know?” Minghao nodded in understanding, it was something he had suspected in all honesty.

“We’re a package deal, and I just...before we decide to try anything, I just need to know that you understand that.” 

“At this point, I would do anything for Sofie...and for you.” Minghao confessed. “I’m honestly crazy about the both of you, and I don’t think that is going to change anytime soon.”

***

“Fi, come on get up. You’re gonna be late for school.” Minghao called out as he threw open her bedroom door and flipped the light switch on just to prove his point.. The teen in question groaned, rolling over and hiding her head under the covers. 

The sight had Hao rolling his eyes before sauntering into the room, making sure to step over the clothing and books that had been left on her floor so that he could give her frame a small shake. It had been a good 7 years since he had started dating you and 5 years since he had moved in with Sofie and you. It wasn’t the life that he had expected to have, but he wouldn’t change it for the world. 

“Come on kiddo, don’t make me sick Uncle Jun on you. You know he’ll come over right now and tackle you.” That seemed to have her moving, throwing back her blanket with a groan as she looked over to glare lightly at Minghao. 

“You’re such a jerk, Papa. Uncle Jun is the worst alarm clock.” She complained, throwing her legs out from under the covers and off of the bed. She stood and sluggishly trekked over to her closet to pull out her school uniform. “At least Uncle Gyu just wakes me up with food.” 

“Well, I tried to tell you when breakfast was ready, but someone didn’t want to get up yet.”

“That’s cause you make breakfast at like...6” she complained. Minghao couldn’t help but laugh as she gestured for him to leave the room, which he did. Returning to the kitchen where you stood sipping on your breakfast drink of choice, about ready to head out for work. 

“She finally get up?” You questioned, eyes following Minghao as he made his way over to press a soft kiss to your lips. Which you returned without any problem, your heart swelling with happiness even after all this time of being with him. 

“I did have to threaten her with Jun, but she at least won’t be late now.” He explained, his arms wrapping around your waist as he rested his forehead against your own. “Speaking of late, if you don’t hurry that’s what you’re going to be.” 

It was normal for him to distract you with affection right before you left for work, it was honestly something he looked forward to. At this point it was practically routine, even after all these years. He was still crazy in love with you and he doubted that would ever change. You and Sofie were his past, present, and future, and he decided that was all he needed in life, and so he wanted to show you that every day from now on. He never wanted you to have to doubt if his feelings were genuine.

“Then give me one last kiss you goof.” You instructed, pressing your lips against his own, just as Sofie walked into the kitchen.

“Oh my god you two, gross!” She jeered, sitting down at the table where her rapidly cooling breakfast was sitting. You and Hao pulled away from each other with one last small peck, making your way over to press a kiss to your daughter’s forehead. 

“Have a good day at school sweetie. Jihoon’s gonna take you to the studio so you can work on that project today, make sure to meet him at the front doors when you’re let out. Okay?” You instructed, speaking to the girl as you grabbed your keys so that you could finally leave for work. 

“I know Nini, I’ll see you for dinner tonight.” 

It was a simple domestic life, but watching the two of you, his partner and his daughter, it was better than any film could have described it. He had found his family, and it was here.

[drabbles-mc]

“Get It Out!”

Angel Reyes x Reader (Guest appearance from EZ)

Warnings: language, mentions of blood/injuries

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: We love a little Injured!Angel having to get taken care of by his girl and his brother. This was technically a Whumptober prompt but I have fallen behind on posting those in order so here’s a little one-shot. 😁 Feel free to make requests!

When you had told Angel that you wanted him to be more honest with you, to let you in on what was going on with the club, this is not the direction that you saw it going in. You just wanted to know why he was gone for days at a time and couldn’t communicate with you. You did not expect to have him turning up on your doorstep, half-draped onto his brother, bleeding.

“What the fuck,” you opened the door all the way and helped EZ pull him inside.

“He got stabbed,” EZ didn’t really know how much he should elaborate—he didn’t know how much you knew.

You scoffed, “Yea I can fucking see that, Ezekiel, the blade is still stuck in his leg.”

The two of you carefully lowered Angel onto the floor. You had so many questions but from the look on EZ’s face you weren’t confident that either of them were going to give you many answers. Blood was trickling down Angel’s leg and it was almost too distracting. It was hard to think about what to do when all you could think about was the fact that your boyfriend was one wrong decision away from bleeding out on your floor.

“What do you want me to do?” you finally managed to ask.

“I don’t know,” EZ replied honestly, “He insisted that we come here because you would know what to do.”

You huffed, “Fucking hell. Alright, um, go grab some towels out of the closet. I’m gonna grab some gauze and other stuff. I’ll see if I can get him patched up enough to take him to a real doctor.”

“No doctor,” it was the first time Angel had spoken.

“Angel,” your voice was firm, “this isn’t a debate. I’m gonna get rid of the evidence of whatever crime was involved here,” you gestured broadly to his whole body, “and then I’m gonna come up with a fake story and get you to an emergency room.”

“But—”

“It wasn’t a question,” you cut him off before he could argue.

You flew up the stairs, heading to the bedroom that you and Angel shared. You looked through his drawers, finally finding an old belt that would do exactly what you needed. You gripped it tight in your hand as you also dug around for an old pair of shorts and a clean shirt for him to wear instead of his now-bloody jeans and his kutte.

Once you found everything that you needed in the bedroom, you made your way to the bathroom. You called out to EZ to put the towels underneath Angel’s leg so he wouldn’t bleed all over the floor. You could hear Angel’s voice but it was muffled and you couldn’t make out what he was saying. Surely is was some sort of sarcastic remark. It was probably better that you didn’t hear it.

You rooted through the cabinet in the bathroom until you found some peroxide and gauze. You also grabbed a wash cloth before making your way back downstairs. You dropped all of your treasures on the couch before proceeding to the kitchen. You grabbed a pot and filled it with warm water. You also got your fabric scissors out of the junk drawer, chuckling to yourself that your random crafting phase a few years ago was paying off in the strangest ways now. You brought them out to the living room and set it on the ground next to where EZ had positioned Angel.

You looked over at EZ, handing him the scissors, “Help him get his pants off while I get all of this set up.”

Angel groaned, “C’mon, Y/N, we don’t gotta do all this.”

“You came to me for help, Angel.”

“Just get it out,” he gestured to the blade jutting out of his leg, “Get it out and slap a band-aid on that shit, Querida. I’ll be fine.”

“I say this with all the love in the world, Angel: shut the fuck up,” you gave a pointed look to EZ, “Scissors, jeans, now.”

Angel might be up for arguing with you but EZ knew better. He had yet to piss you off and today certainly wasn’t going to be the day that he changed that trend. He pulled off his brother’s shoes and set about carefully cutting the fabric above and below the blade that was in Angel’s leg, peeling off the piece that was below. The cut off his leg with no issues.

“What do you want me to do with the fabric that’s cut by the knife?”

“Leave it for now,” you were getting the gauze ready, “that’ll be the last piece we take care of.

EZ helped brace Angel off the ground just enough so that he could push the waistband of his jeans down off his hips. It felt foreign to him to try and get his pants off when there was only full leg left of them. EZ carefully maneuvered the cut piece around the blade without touching it too much, but it still made Angel wince and curse under his breath as he wriggled his other leg out of the fabric.

Once his jeans were off and tossed to the side, you started telling EZ your plan. It wasn’t an elegant plan, and honestly if the blade had gotten one of Angel’s arteries there wasn’t going to be all that much you could do for him anyway. So this was your best shot, you just had to pray that it would work as well as you hoped.

“I’m gonna pull the blade out,” your breath shook just saying it, “Then you’re gonna press the gauze hard against the wound to try and slow the bleeding. Then I’m gonna use this,” you held up the belt, “to wrap around it to try and get some good, consistent pressure on it. Hopefully that’ll all work and then we can get fresh clothes on him and get him to the hospital.”

“What about me?” Angel piped up, “What do I do?”

You looked down at him. His face was pretty neutral given the circumstances, but you could see the fear in his eyes. You placed your hand gently on his cheek, “Try to sit as still as possible. It’s gonna hurt like a bitch.”

You looked over at EZ again to make sure that he was ready. He gave you a small nod and you gently wrapped your fingers around the handle of the knife. It wasn’t your typical little pocket-knife, and you were glad they someone had had the foresight to not just yank it out right away. You let out as steady of a breath as you could manage.

“Just get it out, Y/N,” Angel’s voice was harsh but you couldn’t blame him.

“Sorry,” your voice was soft as you pulled it out in one smooth motion.

“Fuck!” Angel screamed and clenched his fists, fighting the urge to squirm from the pain.

You pulled the last small piece of fabric down away from the cut and EZ immediately placed the gauze onto the wound, stifling the bleeding slightly. You took a breath and tried to reassess for your next step. You were going to have to clean out the cut—god only knows where that knife had been before it got jammed into Angel’s leg.

“This is gonna sting, Angel, I’m sorry,” you couldn’t meet his eyes. You lifted EZ’s hands and poured the peroxide onto the cut, immediately pushing EZ’s hands back down again.

Angel’s eyes were shut tight, fighting the urge to let out another scream. He had the towel balled up in his fists, knuckles white. You tried not to think about that as you grabbed the belt, propping his leg up just enough so that you would be able to loop the belt underneath it. He didn’t have scrawny thighs, so it didn’t loop around as many times as you had originally thought it might, but it seemed like so far your plan was working about as well as could be expected. There was no blood spraying everywhere, and it seemed like you would be able to clean him up a little bit and get him to the hospital without him passing out from blood loss. All of those things were huge wins in your book.

You took a deep breath and looked over to Angel, who was a little paler than usual. You gently ran your thumb across his cheekbone before setting about to clean off his leg. You soaked the wash cloth in the warm water and wiped down his entire leg, trying your best to get as much of the dried blood off as possible.

“EZ,” you looked over at him with pleading eyes, “Can you help him stand up so I can pull on his shorts?”

“I can pull on my own shorts. I’m injured, not unconscious,” he sounded bitter.

“You shouldn’t be bending that leg, Angel, that’s all. I know you’re capable of dressing yourself. Don’t start being a baby about all of this now.”

EZ stifled a laugh as he helped his brother to his feet. Angel leaned more of his weight onto EZ than necessary just to make him pay for finding any humor in this situation. Angel did as he was told, though, and allowed you to pull his shorts up. Changing his shirt went much smoother and soon enough he was ready to be taken to the hospital.

They helped him hobble out of the house. EZ was about to guide him back to the pickup but you steered them towards your car. “Back seat is bigger,” you stated matter-of-factly. You and EZ helped ease Angel into the back seat. You hopped in the driver’s seat and EZ sat shotgun.

“What’re you even gonna tell the doctors?” Angel piped up from the back seat.

You looked at him through the rearview mirror, “You work at a scrapyard, can’t you just tell them it was a workplace accident?”

“I mean,” he huffed, “I guess.”

You chuckled, shaking your head and returning your eyes to the road. EZ looked over at you with a smirk, “Not bad for not a doctor, Y/N.”

“You boys and your praise. It’s a wonder I can stay so humble.”

[candreloup]

Hey! I heard you were looking for asks so I was hoping you could write about a hero with social anxiety who everyone thinks is shy, but in reality they actually have a lot to say and they are super sweet and considerate. And if their nemesis could be a suave villain who knows them better than anyone (and maybe even has a soft spot for them) then that would be amazing. Have a good day!

I am having a good day, thank you!(maybe it's because of your well-wishes :D) Have fun with this one too, this prompt looks super interesting. I'm excited to write it! Also I'm trying to write at least one snippet every day, but I might miss some days(depends on amount of stuff that day, inspiration, etc)- but for the summer I can actually have a consistent schedule! (Ignore the fact that today's is a bit late, haha) But anywho- on to the story!(wow that's like my catchphrase now)

Edit: also i have realized this may not be exactly what the original ask is about... so I think I'm going to do another one mor accurate to the request hehe

Hero gazed out of the window, staring into the rainy drizzle outside. It was a gray day, overcast and chilly with just the right touch of gloomy. The perfect day to sit inside with a cup of tea and listen to music. Instead, Hero was stuck inside, waiting for the rain to abate and sweating in the too-warm room. The temperature was just a touch too high, barely a few degrees over comfortable. It was a nice gesture, but in someone's over-eagerness to please, they had switched the discomfort to the other side. Oh well. Hero thought. At least the rain seems to be stopping soon.

The rain in question was slowing to a drizzle, the sky lightening and the sun beginning to peek out of the dissolving clouds. The inside was beginning to swelter, filling with heat faster than the dripping rain could cool it off.

Hero thought, "Here it comes."

The next few seconds came in flashes, going in and out of Hero's field of perception. The door slams. Flash. Windows shatter. Flash. A sweet smell drifts through the broken windows. Flash. A smooth voice fills Hero's head. Flash.

"Hello, Hero. It's nice to see you again."

It was over before Hero knew it. The sudden storm of sound, sight and smell flooding Hero's senses vanished in an instant, whirlpooling back into the singular figure in the center of the room, sitting languidly on a velvety chair. Villain.

Hero walked forward mechanically, feeling... numb. It had been years since they'd seen Villain, long before they became "Villain" and ceased to be "Friend". Hero could remember, clear as day, when that familiar face had appeared on the TV screen of the cold cafeteria. Along with a headline that read, "Dangerous criminal at large: 9 dead in lethal attack on Organization." And when the alarms started to wail, filling Hero's muddled mind with even more confusion. They'd struggled to process it, at first; it took them longer than it perhaps should have to realize that that smiling young child was no longer so young, and definitely no longer smiling. No. Instead they looked angry, resentful at the world for the cards they'd been dealt. Not like before. Not like before, when despite all the hardship and suffering that had been thrown their way, Friend had still seemed to love life. To cherish it and fill it with as much happiness as they could, as if to make up for the lost joy in other places.

What happened to you, my friend?

That all vanished into nothingness when Hero saw Villain sitting in front of them, fiddling with some small trinket in their fingers. Waiting. Waiting for what? Hero wondered, staring at the different, but still recognizable face. Waiting for... for...

Villain looked up. Hero stopped, waited along with Villain. What are they waiting for? Villain spun the trinket in their fingers and with a deft movement flicked it back into the dark recesses of their jacket.

"Waiting for you, Hero." Hero flinched. That was new. Hero sighed. They hadn't bothered to do research on Villain. Stupid! They'd been so naïve, believing that this clearly changed person sitting in front of them would still act the same, talk the same. But it was too late for that. All that they could do now was grasp at the small thread they had, hope beyond hope that they could figure out a way to bring Villain back. Now all that was left to do was try to understand, try to puzzle out what happened to that little kid they'd played with. And to try to bring that bright soul back.

"I know what you're thinking." The sudden noise startled Hero, jerked them out of their thoughts.

"Oh?" Hero struggled to stay as neutral as possible. Villain chuckled.

"You're so transparent, Hero. Just like I used to be. A dumb little kid. And you're wondering: What happened?" Hero hid their surprise as best they could. It wasn't enough. Hero could tell, could see the glee in Villain's eyes at Hero's confusion. It was a malicious joy, so different from that happiness they used to have.

"Now you're thinking that I've changed. Again. I did change. That's true. But I'm still the same person."

Hero cleared their throat, struggling for the right words to say.

"...No, you're not."

"Oh yes I am. I'm still 'Friend', even if I"-Villain gestured to their face and body-"changed in appearance. And perhaps personality."

Hero shook their head. "No. The friend I knew would never murder someone. You... you aren't my friend. My friend is gone." The bite in those words seemed to sting Villain, the hurt in their eyes barely visible. But it was quickly covered up and replaced with cold humor.

"O sentimental fool! You really believe your little friend was so great, huh! I almost feel bad for you."

"No. I know my friend was a good person."

"Ahhhh, you knew your friend so well! I see. Then tell me this, Hero. How is it that you never knew where your little friend lived? Or chose to ask? And how is it that you never noticed the deadness in their eyes or the tear stains on their cheeks? Tell me, Hero!" Villain spat. The venom in their voice was audible now, cutting through the smooth, smug tone as Villain glared at Hero. "And tell me, little Hero, how you never saw the bruises and scars on your friend's body? Tell me how you never, not once noticed how isolated, how totally alone your friend felt?" Villain was standing now, advancing slowly towards Hero with rage in their eyes. "Tell me how, Hero. TELL ME!" they half-screamed, standing almost nose to nose with Hero.

Hero kept their calm. Strangely enough, this was almost better than before, better than that slick villain sitting elegantly on the chair. Hero preferred unhinged to silence. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, the little Hero is sorry! Ha! What a joke! Well, little Hero with the oh-so-great-friend, explain to me your reasoning when you left me!!"

Hero snapped. They'd been calm, silent, reasonable this whole time. Kept their cool, kept their patience. Remembered- this is a person in pain. They are in pain because of me. I used to love them.

But the last line was the final straw.

"Oh, Villain, you want to know about leaving??" Hero yelled, standing on their toes and staring directly into Villain's wide eyes. "You want to know about loneliness, about feeling betrayed? You know, Villain, JUST BECAUSE YOU FELT ALONE DOESN'T MEAN I DIDN'T!" Hero screamed, filled with an uncharacteristic amount of rage.

"Hero, calm-"

"NO. For every time you hid things, every time you made me feel like I WASN'T THERE FOR YOU despite my CONSTANT PRESENCE, I'm going to tell you. You want to know, Villain? You REALLY WANT TO KNOW? Every SINGLE time I asked, EVERY TIME I BEGGED AND PLEADED WITH YOU TO TELL ME, you know what you did?"

"Hero-"

"TELL ME, VILLAIN. DO YOU REMEMBER?"

"I-"

"YOU RAN AWAY! So don't sit there, with your chair and suit BULLSHIT, and try and tell me that I WASN'T A GOOD FRIEND. Don't. Do you know how many times I tried, Villain? And god damn, COULDN'T YOU SPARE A SINGLE THOUGHT TO TELL ME? But no, you NEVER SAID A WORD. You just pranced around, acting happy until I left. Because APPARENTLY, EVERY SINGLE THING I THOUGHT I KNEW ABOUT MY FRIEND IS A FUCKING LIE."

Hero was breathing hard, still bubbling with anger. How dare they, how dare Villain accuse Hero of not trying. God knew they tried. Every. Single. Day. But even through all of that Hero had faith in Villain. They'd believed Villain was still good. But then that news report had come out. And now, Hero realized that their entire childhood had been a façade.

"I... I'm sorry." The words were almost a whisper, so quiet Hero could barely hear it. But they still heard it.

"Sorry won't cut it."

"I know."

"You know, Villain? Do you really?"

"I thought I knew."

"I loved you, Villain. I almost still do." Hero whispered into the room, feeling their words bounce off the bare walls. "I loved you..."

Villain looked up from their chair, eyes wide. "...You did?"

Hero started crying softly, tears rolling slowly down their face. "You idiot. You lovable fucking idiot." Villain stood slowly, looking ashamed. "Come here." Hero opened their arms to Villain, sobbing when Villain fell into the comforting embrace. "You idiot. I missed you," they whispered, tears falling onto Villain's shoulder.

"I missed you too," Villain murmured softly, quiet tears gently falling onto the floor.

It sounded like rain.

[klvbxlove]

quietness (investigation team x gn! reader)

a/n: honestly, this drabble was not planned at all. but for the past days, i had been feeling really down, so i figured the best and easiest way to somehow vent (?) my feelings was making this drabble. also, i know it might not sound like this is actually an investigation team x reader, but i put that there just because. 

(damn, this is a really large GIF. but this is the only one i can find with all the investigation team members 😅)

reader type: gender neutral

reader specification(s): reader is an introvert

genre(s): angst

trigger warning(s): mentions of self-doubting thoughts, mentions of unworthiness

summary: a week ago, you left inaba for osaka without telling your friends, the investigation team. but before that you wrote them a letter talking about everything you’ve been feeling prior to moving.

word count: 1.3k words

♡ ♡ ♡ (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*) ♡ ♡ ♡

key:

(f/n) = friend’s name (y/n) = your name

♡ ♡ ♡ (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*) ♡ ♡ ♡

   To any one of you who reads this, 

   I will have to be completely honest. I didn’t want to tell you guys about what’s going on. But I felt like I just had to, but not over text. That’s why I will write this as a letter instead. 

   Just in case (F/N) hasn’t told you guys, I gave this letter to them the day I seemed to have vanished and asked them to keep it secret for a while. They would only be able to show it to one of you ONLY if you began wondering where I’ve gone. 

   So now that you’ve begun reading this, you’re probably curious. Where have I been? Why did I suddenly disappear without a trace?

   First and foremost, I’m not in danger. I’m perfectly safe, and so is my family. It’s just that I’m no longer living in Inaba anymore. A few weeks ago, one of my guardians got a new job near Osaka, and we had to move so they could be closer to the workplace. 

   But enough about that. I didn’t write this letter only to tell you where I’ve gone. I figured I could vent out my feelings to you guys and explain how I’ve been feeling lately for the past few months.

   See, when I had moved to Inaba a few months ago, I thought it would be a nice place to settle, especially since I’m an introvert. I mean, think about it. City life might sound a bit draining for someone like me, right? And I know many people here regard Inaba as a quiet place in the middle of nowhere, but I mean, I liked it! I did not hate living in the city or anything (It was nice at times, to be honest.), but I thought that living in a quieter area would also be good for me. 

   I had those thoughts just a few weeks after settling down here. And it took me less time to fully get comfortable. I mean, sure, it was a bit unusual to not hear many sounds in the town compared to the city, but I didn’t mind. It was nice! 

   But that’s where things took a not-so-great turn for me. For the next few months, I had been crying to sleep almost every night. Making sure to be as quiet as possible, I would sob non-stop in my pillow. And it would go up to the point where I just exhausted myself. At first, I thought that maybe it was just my emotions messing with me. It happens on a few occasions. I figured, if I just settle down with myself, I would feel better. That was just it, right? That I would be alright in a few days?

   Yeah, no. 

   My usual routine of crying every night became consistent. I’m not sure if anyone was able to tell, though. I mean, I did hide the fact that I was feeling down. Around people, I didn’t act overly happy, but I didn’t act depressed either. To put it simply, I was just fine. 

   Right then and there, that was when I realized that maybe Inaba is not the place for me. I appreciated the quiet this town has to offer (and of course, I would never hold a grudge against this rural area). However, I just hated the silence. I guess it was making me feel more alone than I used to be for some odd reason. And usually, I’m not that bothered about being alone. Yet lately, I just hated it. I hated being in my room in all this silence. 

   And I know I could have told you guys about my struggles. I am NOT trying to indicate that any of you would try to ignore me (or anyone else in our friend group, really) if I was crying out for help; I know you guys would never. There was just the fear of being a burden. I know you guys have days where you’re either busy or need to deal with other personal things. I would feel bad if I ever added more to your plate. And it was also why I was so quiet whenever we hung out. I had a gut feeling that whatever I said didn’t matter.

   Honestly, hearing about the fact that I was moving to Osaka, arguably one of the largest cities in Japan, did excite me a little bit. Maybe I was more accustomed to living in a city rather than a rural town. 

   Now that I got to say all of that, I wanted to say I’m sorry. 

   I know it seemed like I had no trust in you. 

   I know I wasn’t comfortable ranting or venting about anything to you. 

   I know I’ve been distant from you for the past weeks. 

   And I know I must have worried you when you thought I went missing.

   For everything I’ve mentioned here, I’m very, very sorry.   

   But then again, I feel like it wouldn’t make anything much better. I know you guys probably feel like I treated you as fake friends and that I was pushing myself away from you. Hell, I bet everyone is probably mad at me. You probably have no plans on forgiving me anytime soon. I understand.

   However, I also just wanted to thank you guys for being one of the best friend groups ever. I’m honestly a bit picky about the people I open up with, but you guys managed to break that wall. And for that, I am grateful. Maybe one day, I’ll talk to you guys again. And maybe, we can all hang out just like we used to. Only if you want me to, that is.

   But until then, goodbye.

   (Y/N). 

-

   It had officially been a week since you wrote that letter and gave it to (F/N). You had no idea if any of the Investigation Team members ever wondered where you went or if they cared at all. But chances are, they probably did not. After all, you were arguably one of the quietest members ever, so how were they supposed to know what you have been through before you moved?

   Sighing, you closed the book you were reading and walked over towards the window. While your new house was still a bit farther from the city, you could still see the tall buildings from afar. Night had settled down in Japan, and the sky was pitch black while illuminated by the stars. 

   If there was one thing you had missed about living in the city, it was the sounds that you heard during the night. Was it loud? No. But was it dead silent? Of course not! You could almost describe it as the Goldilocks zone. Osaka was not too loud nor too silent.

   After a small smile grew on your lips, you suddenly let out a yawn. It was time to sleep. You had a long day ahead of you tomorrow. So you closed the curtains of the window, walked over towards your bed, and crawled into it. From what you have noticed, you have not been crying every night as often as you used to back in Inaba. Sure, a few tears trickled here and there. But it was not up to the point where the only way you could fall asleep was by sobbing. 

   Osaka seemed to be the perfect place for you to live. You could only hope that your emotions will begin to improve now that you are in a city again. It was clear it was not going to happen overnight. That was for sure, but you would be patient. 

   Of course, you were sad that you were miles away from the Investigation Team. However, you hoped that they were doing well, wherever they were. 

   And you could not forget to mention that you stood by what you last said in your letter to them. Maybe one day you would have the courage to talk to them more often and hang out just like you used to.

[scottymcgeesterwrites]

A Guide to the Best Editions and Translations of Some Classic Literature

TWENTY THOUSAND LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA BY JULES VERNE

IMPORTANT: Whatever you do, DO NOT BUY the edition translated by Lewis Mercier. In fact, NEVER buy any translation of ANYTHING by Lewis Mercier. Mercier’s translation is unfortunately the most “standard” and popular translation. This translation is said to have removed about 20-25% of the original novel, and also removes a lot of Verne’s original meaning. In short, it was a botched translation that somehow became very popular and accessible up until the 1970′s, but always still check for before buying. Barnes and Noble still has his translation lying around for sale.

If the name of the translator isn’t on the cover or back cover of the book, you can check the first few pages where they write the publication history. It might be in fine print.  Frankly, any translation that is NOT by Lewis Mercier is good. The pictures I have attached here are of the edition I bought published by The Franklin Library. It was translated by Mendor T. Brunetti. It also includes the original illustrations, which is cool.

THE HOLY BIBLE

Oof. This one can get really dicey. But I’ll explain it the best I can.  There have been dozens of translations of the Bible, if not hundreds. Not everyone uses the same one, especially evangelical groups like Pentecostals and Jehovah’s Witnesses. These more radical groups have willingly altered the Bible to further their views. So, a Bible that a Jehovah’s Witness holds is not the same Bible that a Roman Catholic priest holds.  The King James Bible (KJV, or King James Version) has often been considered the most popular version of The Bible throughout modern history. Many of the Bible’s most memorable quotes are directly taken from the King James Bible. It’s considered dignified, poetic, and beautiful. It’s also wrong. So very, very wrong. It’s quite possibly the worst translation of the Bible ever made. I grew up in Catholic school and even there we never once touched the King James Bible. The problems with the King James Bible include certain “theological biases” (i.e. implying Jesus appeared somewhere when he didn’t) and all-around bad translations (i.e. it says there were unicorns but the real meaning is supposed to say “horned beasts”) (see ReligionForBreakfast). The other annoying thing about the King James Bible is that quotation marks are not used. This can be very confusing for readers as it becomes unclear who is speaking.  If you’re curious to see how an exact literal translation of the Bible into English goes, check out the Interlinear Bible. It has the original Hebrew and Greek text with the English words underneath (or besides). You will quickly realize just how complicated translating the Bible is, as Hebrew does not have many words. The English prose in the Interlinear Bible therefore can read like gibberish.

If you want to read the Bible with as close to the original intent and meaning as possible while also being readable, then go for the New American Standard Bible. It can still be a bit difficult to read though. The current popular edition is the New Revised Standard Version. This newer edition from 1989 is considered the most neutral of all translations, as it does not hold any denominational bias. The translators even placed gender-neutral words, such as “people” instead of “mankind”. 

FRANKENSTEIN BY MARY SHELLEY

The original 1818 text by Mary Shelley has been given more spotlight as of late. The text that we are most commonly familiar with from 1831 had the story toned down because of course it would be scandalous for a woman to write about such things at the time. Mary Shelley had suffered critical outrage and pressure for editorial changes from her husband Percy for her original vision. For the 1831 edition, she was forced to edit the novel so that Dr. Frankenstein would be a more moral character, whereas the original Dr. Frankenstein in the 1818 text did not go through much moralizing. 

Penguin Books recently released an affordable edition of the 1818 text.

THE THREE MUSKETEERS BY ALEXANDRE DUMAS

There are numerous translations but I want to highlight the one I read by Richard Pevear. This made the story very readable while also remaining faithful to the story. Pevear didn’t censor Dumas’s original meanings at all like previous translations did for their time. I thoroughly enjoyed his translation and was lucky enough to get the hardcover of his first edition back in the day. My mom completely surprised me by buying that book for me, and it ended up happening to be the best translation. The best thing about Pevear’s edition is that it includes footnotes for archaic terms. The original hardcover of Pevear’s edition is difficult to find by now, but his translation has been re-released by other publishers. As of a few years ago, a new translation by Lawrence Ellsworth has been released. I have not read that one but have heard good things. The publishers of the Ellsworth translation have also been republishing ALL of the Musketeer stories to provide a series of consistent editions, which has always been rare for the Musketeer saga. 

HOMER’S ODYSSEY, ILIAD, and VIRGIL’S AENEID

First off, read these epics in verse form. I cannot believe there are editions out that written in prose form. I’m sorry but that should be illegal. I grew up reading Robert Fagles’ translation, which is pretty damn good and is the standard in schools. However, also look for Richmond Lattimore’s translation. Lattimore translated The Odyssey and The Iliad in the original rhythm that Homer intended. Fagles wrote in freeform for the sake of being easier to read. Both translations retain the original meaning, so it’s up to you really what you prefer. As for The Aeneid (Lattimore only translated Greek classics), go with Fagles.

DON QUIXOTE BY MIGUEL DE CERVANTES

Read the translation by Edith Grossman. That’s all I can say. I devoured that book in days. Grossman did to Don Quixote what Pevear did to The Three Musketeers. It’s just that good and readable. Ormsby is the second-best, being the most scholarly of all translations. The translation is the most accurate but the humor can be dry and doesn’t pack the same punch as Cervantes probably intended. The translations to avoid like the plague are by Motteux, Smollett, and John Phillips. SHERLOCK HOLMES BY SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE

Surely, most people reading this have a copy of the Sherlock Holmes tales in one form or another. But which is the best?  Every text out there is the same no matter the publication, but I prefer to read the way it was originally formatted with all the illustrations. The automatic assumption people might have is that all the original Sherlock Holmes stories were published in The Strand Magazine. This wasn’t the case. There were several stories published in other magazines at the time, such as A Study in Scarlet and The Sign of Four, to name a few. Therefore, if you find an edition boasting to have “all The Strand illustrations” it probably only has the stories that were published in The Strand Magazine. More confusing yet, some editions do say “All the Strand illustrations” but also include A Study in Scarlet and The Sign of Four.  Keep in mind this magical number: 60 Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote a total of 56 short stories and 4 novels with Sherlock Holmes. If the copy you are holding does not add up to 60 stories, don’t bother. You might get a copy that comes in two or three volumes. 

[masterthespianduchovny]

At the beginning of age of avengers, someone assumes that Tony is the leader and he corrects them and say that it’s Steve.

And that surprised me because I assumed that Steve and Tony were co-leaders, but no, Steve was CHOSEN as the leader of the avengers. I was about to say that Tony was second in command, but I’m assuming that’s Nat.

But, as surprised as I was about this revelation (I literally hadn’t seen the movie in 8 years until 3 days ago), it instantly made sense.

As much as the anti Steve crowd hates on Steve, on several occasions we’ve seen Steve not only inspire people, but also get them to follow him. After someone commits to following Steve, they’re typically loyal to him.

We do not see this with Tony.

The issue with Tony isn’t that he’s flawed and has trauma, it’s how he treats others and how he processes trauma. When you lash out at others, ignore them, insult them (for your own amusement); don’t consider anyone else, etc, you more times than not will alienate people who are ok your side or, at least, want to be. A person having trauma doesn’t excuse how they treat others. And there is only so long most will people up with that behavior before leaving, which is their right.

I believe the only person who stayed by Tony’s side no matter what was Happy. Tony and Rhodey commonly fought and Rhodey even sided against Tony as well. Pepper had to take a break from Tony due to his own actions.

People can forgive flaws, but often struggle to forgive habitual poor behavior and various transgressions that comes with it.

We cannot except people to respect Tony or want to follow when he makes a joke about the PTSD (Capsickle), their traditional clothes (Thor), job endangerment (Rhodey; Tony made a transphobic joke about an event that didn’t happen), as well as sexual remarks (Natasha). And that’s not all that he did. This goes beyond being flaws, especially when you’re supposed to work with these people and they’re allegedly your friends.

He also doesn’t tell anyone about his trauma and OFTEN deflects, which may include insults or cracking inappropriate jokes. No one should have to deal with that all because someone is traumatized, especially as ALL OF THEM are dealing with their own and equally valid trauma.

Comparatively, Steve does not do that.

The people who work with Steve and are friends with him take him seriously. They support him and he supports them.

We see this going back to the 1940s. Peggy believed in Steve based off of his resilience and faith of convictions. She challenges him when he accepts his current circumstances.

After Steve saves literally over 400 men by himself, he earns the respect of not only colonel Phillips, but the men he saved as well. When he says he wants to pick his own team, in addition to the wish being respected, the chosen men flat out say that they’d follow Cap anywhere.

This must be stressed: these men were held prisoner and knew they’d encounter the most dangerous weapon and men in the entire war and readily agreed because Captain America asked.

In winter soldier, Steve is declared a criminal and is on the run. When he breaks into the shield headquarters, he gives his speech and EVERYONE minus hydra agents refuse to launch the coded because Captain America explain to them that some dangerous shit was going down. They believed his word because his actions and his character is THAT respected.

See the trend here: people listening and following Steve because they believe he’s genuine and wants to do what’s right.

In age of ultron, we hear a reference that he was chosen as leader. The events in this movie proves why Steve was chosen and Tony wasn’t.

Whether or not you believe Tony was right to crested ultron, he still should’ve told his team what Wanda made him see AND explained why he wanted to create this tech/weapon. Instead, he deliberately kept it a secret and pressured Bruce into helping him. Ironically, despite the claims that Steve feels like he knows that’s best, this is exactly what Tony assumes.

Let’s be clear: not only are Steve, nat, Bruce, hawk eye, and Thor adults, they are also avengers as well. They don’t need Tony to protect them and they all of the capabilities of deciding if they want to do something dangerous and risk their lives. And it’s ego centric as hell for him to actually believe that Steve, of all people, would guilt him by saying he should’ve saved them. Steve wouldn’t have done such a thing both saying that or even making Tony feel bad if he did all he could do.

Despite creating his murder bot due to not consulting his team because he knew they’d say no, Tony did it AGAIN.

Again, where’s the leadership? Where’s the accountability? Where’s the understanding that he may not like the answer, but he does owe it to his team to talk to them? And, again, he thinks he knows what’s best.

What does Steve do in this same movie? The twins start fighting besides him, which he doesn’t interfere with because ultron is the bigger threat. But, rather than fight them like his instinct tells them, he stop and listens to what they have to say.

I want to note that people like to say (and some are thinking), it’s good that Tony built what eventually became ultron, well, it’s good that Steve extended a hand to the twins. They also played a huge role in why the world didn’t lose half its popular, which was a consequence of Steve’s decision making.

Once Steve heard them out and was willing to let them into the fold, he defended them when other avengers tried to attack them. He didn’t leave them out to dry.

Then, when the actual fight happens Tony reveals a few minutes in that they have no other options but to abandon civilians and let them die.

Steve flat out refuses that as an option and makes the PERSONAL decision to stay until every civilian is safe. Not one person will be left to die.

I don’t know about anyone else, but Steve comes off as the clear leader and Tony doesn’t.

What happens next is that literally every current avenger and the twins stay to help. Nat literally tells Steve that this would be a beautiful place to die and explicitly says she’s fighting alongside him.

Whether or not Steve spoke to people, he inspired them to follow him by his actions.

Who is inspired to follow Tony?

Tony flirts with retirement, which no criticism against that.

But, alongside nat, Steve personally trains Sam, Rhodey, and Wanda for team avengers. After accepting Wanda into the fold, he treats her life everyone else.

In civil war, Steve was hands on with wandas training so she could control her power and made sure was protected. He accepted responsibility for not accounting for unforeseen threats, such as the explosives and explained to Wanda the realities of their job. He was realistic with her, but used that as motivation as to why they should strive to be better. Steve was outraged when he found out that she was locked up and freed her from Tony’s unlawful imprisonment.

Even if someone argues she should be locked up, Tony did not talk to her. Wanda didn’t consent to being confined to the house. This is another example of believing he knew what was best for people rather than talking to them and seeing how they feel. He isn’t giving others the right to make informed decisions for themselves and in general.

Steve, on the other hand, consistently considers what people feel because he TALKS to people. He has meaningful conversations with people, such as nat and Sam. Steve formed connections to people, which made them feel close to him.

But, let’s circle back to Tony, he takes a MINOR without the explicit consent of his guardian. Not only does he take Peter without May’s permission, he takes Peter OVERSEAS and to fight at that.

To make matters worse, Peter doesn’t know WHY he’s fighting or what for.

Where’s the oversight or accountability in any of that?

During the fight, someone flat out asks how old Peter is. Tony follows up after the fight, during homecoming, with almost inviting Peter to stay at the avengers compound. As a reminder, Peter was still a literal teenager and Tony still DID NOT ask peter’s guardian if this was okay.

Where as Steve explicitly tells people what they are getting into. He lays out what to expect and that you have a choice in it. Steve never pressures people into helping him and they usually volunteer. And, whatever happens afterwards, he’s there for them.

How was Tony’s mentorship with Peter?

He’s not actively involved with Peter after taking him in as a mentee, pawns him off in Happy, thinks at status reports are sufficient, and ignored Peter’s concerns. Peter was a minor who just had the most surreal experience of his life and Tony doesn’t think this kid would be amped and itching to do more?

Tony doesn’t think Peter might need some hands on mentorship? Tony thought he could mentor from afar with updates and camera footage, but it actually engage.

Them damned accords!

Tony signed the document due to guilt and tried to get others to sign it despite him being mostly responsible for why the accord even exist or, at least, did a lot of shit that is now being penalized. I’m not sure if he actually read it OR if someone summarized the point.

Whereas Steve DID read the accords and his stance wasn’t one of guilt, but concern and ethical issues with what’s in the accords. Steve was prepared to retire because his beliefs didn’t align with what was being asked of him and others. He didn’t ask anyone to back or follow him.

But, people do eventually back him and follow his lead. They know exactly what they’re getting into. And, despite knowing the risks and eventually getting arrested, they stick to their convictions.

When Tony finds out that Bucky killed his parents, despite knowing that Bucky was brainwashed for LITERALLY decades, he tries to kill him. When cap realizes this, he constantly tries to neutralize Tony.

Let’s go back. Steve knowing that Bucky needs to be arrested, decides to save Bucky both for Bucky’s protection AND so those trying to bring him in doesn’t get hurt/killed. Once Bucky is safely arrested, Steve lets the situation go.

Oh, before I really get into infinity wars, there is no mention of Wanda harming other people even accidentally. :)

Tony, as usual, ignores what others wanted, like strange, and think he knows what’s best. He plans to fight thanos henchman by himself as well as thanos completely ignoring the concept of teamwork. (He also jumps to insulting others for his own shits and giggles—keep in mind, these are people he doesn’t know).

What does Steve do?

He was successfully on the run with nat and Sam and they worked together as a TEAM to save vision. They then meet up with rhodey and formulate a plan as to how to stop thanos. Steve coordinates with various people to have the battle in Wakanda. He doesn’t assume he can fight thanos by himself or should.

Steve refuses to trade lives because every life is valuable.

When the Snap happens, Tony fucks up into his cabin in the woods and lives his life.

And what does Steve do?

Run a support group to keep hope alive for people who are trying to see the best in a shitty situation.

He stays an avenger and does whatever needs to be done because he’s there to serve the people regardless of the despair he feels.

Don’t get it twisted, Steve is not perfect, but he constantly led by example, put the wants and needs of others before himself, was a hands on mentor, listened and supported others, and refused to leave anyone behind and/or die. He was always willing to be the only man fighting the battle and even to die for his beliefs.

And this man is called selfish by some.

Where as Tony consistently believed he knew what was best for others, was willing to let people die, was a shit mentor, mocked and ridiculed others, put his own feelings first, etc.

And this is seen as a leader???

Let’s not forget that dangerous tech he left to a MINOR after he died. Peter was so overwhelmed by the responsibility, he gave it to the first person who listened to him and who he believed to be responsible. This isn’t a condemnation of people. Again, his a literal minor—15 or 16. Who is overwhelmed about the shit stark left on his shoulders.

When old cap spoke to Sam, he gave AN ADULT, his shield. One with loved experiences and who knew how to handle complicated feelings. He knew what Sam was willing to handle and could handle.

And another thing: the fact that people were willing to go on the run with Steve says a lot. This is the second time Steve has been on the run and people, Sam and nat, were willing to follow him and assist (both times).

Tony couldn’t even get people to stay faithful to the legal accords. Rhodey said peace out as soon as cap returned. Nat abandoned Tony to join Steve. Vision questioned his life choices, and then went black to be with Wanda. And Peter didn’t know what the fuck was going on.

And Tony stans think he should’ve been leader based off of using his money for the avengers and giving them a place to crash.

LOL!

People want Wanda to apologize to Tony for invading his mind when he should apologize for her parents dying. If you’re a weapons manufacturer, there’s no such thing as believing only the “good guys” will use your weapons. You know your weapons could and will get into the wrong hands. And you also know that without war, you’d be out of a job. But, also the “good guys” are usually imperialist who fuck over other countries as they undermined these government structures to steal resources from them and other shit.

Just because starks stopped manufacturing weapons doesn’t mean he can escape accountability for what his weapons did to others.

Tony also ratted out that Clint had a family and was fine with them being jailed because they took the “wrong” side. Did he apologize to any of these people? The ones he had jailed and the ones who were forced to go on the run for a bill he supported, and then admitted was fucked up? (The same law he later broke twice.)

But, he’s a leader???