#is a unique kind of hell

[perplexingly]

.

[thefableddestiel]

“Something always goes wrong”

“Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?”

This but it means like, Dean could’ve ignored his sexuality if it wasn’t for Cas. Dean could’ve stayed in hell like he deserved if Cas hadn’t pulled him out. Dean wouldn’t have had to experience losing the love of his life time and time again if Cas just hadn’t come along.

[heartorbit]

🩷💛💚💜

[quinn-of-aebradore]

Something that really makes me feel insane about Ashton is the way a solid chunk of their arguments have always been that they’re Just A Guy. They’re nobody. They’re nothing. The gods never paid any attention to me, I don’t matter. I’m not special. And sure, with the information that was available early in the campaign, that was a reasonable conclusion for them to have drawn.

But now? When they know the powers that live inside them, powers that never have been combined before and likely never will be again? When several people have all independently pointed out how unprecedented their existence is? That basis for their argument loses all credibility. How many people on Exandria are walking around day to day with a fragment of a titan and a piece of the Luxon inside them? One. Ashton is a singularly unique being. “I’m nobody, I don’t matter,” bitch you’re the main character in a YA novel, calm down.

[lizzybeeee]

DATV Mini-Rant about the lack of Lyrium Potions in this Game

A small thing that immediately made my stomach drop when playing DATV was the fact that there are no lyrium potions.

I did an elective on game design in university and chose Origins as my game of choice for my final essay because I always loved how much the game incorporated the world/lore in its game mechanics! Call it pathetic or sad (I won't blame you lmao) but this series was the first video game that engaged me so deeply with its story-telling that I wanted to dissect it. That's why I'm focusing on the lack of magical cocaine in a fantasy game series.

Lyrium is a substance that serves as a game mechanic and a major lore/world-building element. It's use is essential if you play the game as a mage or have party members that are mages - it replenishes mana in game, its use is central to being a mage within the story (harrowing, rituals, etc...), and it's a major export/plot relevant resource that is important to the world at large.

So imagine my surprise when I boot up DATV for the first time and there's no lyrium potions as a mage character. My main interest in the game series was for its lore and story (RIP) so I didn't look too hard into developer interviews or videos about the combat itself - it would either be good or bad, but that wasn't my main draw to the game. I kept playing, wondering if I would ever unlock another slot for potions, perhaps, but then it was abundantly clear that it wasn't the case.

It's a small thing, but popping a lyrium potion mid-combat has the same effect that hearing people say 'Maker's breath' and 'Thank the Maker' does. It's this little bit of world-building that reminds me that I'm playing a Dragon Age game. It's not just a 'mana potion' or some other glowy blue magic vial...it's this substance that's important to the world and that has a reason to be there beyond rejuvenating my mage.

It's the major export of Orzammar -> the pillar of its economy.

It's the substance that allows waking mages to enter the Fade -> it allowed me to save Connor Guerrin with the aid of other mages.

It's the substance that the Chantry uses to leash it's templars through addiction -> an addiction I encouraged Cullen to overcome in DAI.

It's the substance used in the Rite of TRANQUILITY.

It's the substance that allows my warrior character to take on the templar specialization in each game -> Alistair and Ser both talk about lyrium and its relevance to training (in DA2 you just do it lmao)

It's the substance burned into Fenris's skin by Danarius.

It's the literal blood of the Titans -> lyrium veins are literal veins (such a cool design choice in DAI to make them look like blood capillaries!)

And all the time in DAO, DA2, and DAI my mage characters were downing this substance like there was no tomorrow.

Even though the combat changed in DA2 and DAI they still kept lyrium potions for mages. Even though they simplified herbalism from DAO in the next two games, they still required the player to interact with the world and find the ingredients for these potions. It was this gameplay mechanic that linked the player to the world -> I know that I need blood lotus to set shit on fire, elfroot for healing potions/lyrium potions, etc... It was cool game design, having game mechanics and lore interconnected like this.

(Not saying that picking up dozens of elfroots was fun or the best game design, btw -> but it's just an example of how they linked the world and game mechanics together, and I like the intent behind it! Cool design does not equal effective design lmao)

What do we get in DATV? No lyrium, whatsoever, just healing potions.

Potions we don't even have to work to find or get crafted! Just break some green shit and there it is! We don't pick up ingredients or discover unique flora to each of these Northern Areas for our own use. We don't loot potions or ingredients from corpses, sacks, boxes, chests (etc...) to replenish our own stock. A healing potion in this game is not a potion you craft, made from ingredients you found, it's a button I press on my controller. It's lost that immersive link - especially when your companions can toss another one at you while being effectively immortal in combat.

The only new flora we hear of is Broma's Bloom which I did like the lore behind! It's used in dye to colour the Warden's armour and its growth is a sign that the damage of the Blight is lessening. I love that! That's a cool bit of lore! Especially since it's named after Andraste's mother in a land that is supposed to be extremely religious. Geographically unique flora and fauna (biodiversity) is just as important as architectural design when designing an area - DAI did this amazingly well with the different creatures and plants we could run into in each area!

The first time we meaningfully talk about lyrium is when we go to Kal Sharok for the first time - a decent amount of game time since the beginning of the game, depending how fast you play. And then, when we get there, the lyrium looks like a bunch of crystals from a 'grow your own lyrium' kit. The absence of lyrium from the game world and mechanics is something that was very hard for me to overlook considering its importance to every previous entry. Especially since in this game we address the fucking Titan's and what the fuck happened to them.

Just...imagine playing a mage in Dragon Age and not using lyrium?

This game is a death of a thousand cuts - so many small, meaningful world-building elements and mechanics brushed off - before fucking godzilla comes along and nukes it all with the handling of the main story/lore.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

The most liminal feeling in judaism is knowing history that's deeply shaped jewish communities and yet... nobody but jews talk about it. Obviously, this isn't unique to judaism, but it's a very specific reminder that jewish history matters more to you than it does anyone else

[hinamie]

Hiii Hina, i hope you’re going good!! :3 I saw you like Pokemon and I’m really curious to know if you have any thoughts on itadori & megumi being pkm trainers 👀

I just know they would have matching eeveelutions, like Espeon and Umbreon <:

Have a great day!! 🫂<33

HIIII YES I LOVE POKEMON I LOVE POKEMON SO MUCH trust me the thought of drawing itfs' pokemon teams has crossed my mind Many times but the whole teambuilding part always felt a little daunting,,,there are over 1000 of these guys atp,,,,

tht being said thank u for this ask it came at the perfect time to motivate me to actually brainstorm n sketch teams for them!! the sketches r at the indecipherable stage so here r lists of the teams I came up with fr each of them:

yuuji:

togepi (non-competitive) (maybe it evolves)

growlithe

flygon

annihilape

bewear

staraptor

megumi:

absol

shiny absol

zorua

corviknight

dragapult

serperior

I like the eeveelution angle and the idea of them having matching ones but i personally just,,. don't see yuuji as having espeon :'> if he were to have an eevee imo it's between base eevee, jolteon, or maybe flareon. but giving yuuji one of those options meant i then ran into the problem where megumi matching him would require giving him a vaporeon which didn't sit right with me either bc ur right he's SUCH an umbreon bitch. ended up giving neither of them eevees here but i do support the sun/moon vision

anyway this is what i'm working on fr the next however many days probably smile :)

[mabaris]

the thing I’m very interested to see is Harding’s relationship to other dwarves as her weird magic manifests.

she’s a surfacer; I feel like no matter what happens, Orzammar dwarves are going to point at her as an example, saying, “this is what happens when you lose your stone sense, you basically become a human, and this is why you should stay underground because we’re safe down here”

[parasolcopyability]

still thinking about that stat chart....mhin fight back against the weak allegations omgg

[science-lings]

more info for each option below

1- I just think it's funny if everyone knew who Sherlock Holmes was (Phoenix's 'Sherlock Holmes 2 baby!' moment) and it's a popular belief that he wasn't real but he was, just under a better name.

2- I can't help but look at these guys and point at them. Kazuma's concept art where he has his hair back is so Phoenix-coded and one of his thinking sprites looks a lot like Phoenix's and I think that in the afterlife whenever Phoenix is kind of a bitch Ryunosuke looks over at Kazuma and blames him for it. I don't know which one is trans and neither do historians, it's knowledge that has been lost to time. Though it would be funny if Ryu just popped out of nowhere to go to university where no one knew him so no one would know anything about him. Did he forge government documents to do it? who knows he's just living his best life memorizing tongue twisters.

3- It would either be something badass like a snake winding around her arm or something symbolic like a fleur-de-lys which is the flower-based symbol in TGAA for European prosecutors. I also think it's funny bc it's apparently based on an Iris (or a lily), and the iris has the connotation that it 'prevents fire' which would be funny subtle anti-phoenix symbolism.

4- as much as the fan renditions of scruffy beanix absolutely fuck, this guy has the most pathetic facial hair I've ever seen, he's trying so hard to look like a homeless rundown stoner but can only manage a sprinkling of stubble. In addition, Miles can grow facial hair and he tried to grow a mustache for a week in Europe but it was a sensory nightmare and he will never do it again.

5- idk there's a reason his little mascot is a mouse, I just think it's funny if he just appears next to people and they have no idea how he got there. quiet little guy (unless he's thinking loud enough for it to leak out of his mouth). If he was a little more chaotic he would make an excellent thief/ pickpocket. The closest he gets is making snacks disappear from the 221b pantry.

6- All the animals as evidence and his first defendant in seven years being an Orca, he has that disney princess vibe. He was buds with Polly the parrot during the trial and even Money the monkey warmed up to him, especially in the anime where he just chills on Phoenix's shoulders during the court demonstration. I also think eventually Taka would also warm up to him due to his immaculate bird vibes. Trucy's doves and rabbits love him, he does not know how this happened. He regularly has pigeons following him around during investigations. He accidentally makes friends with a crow when throwing out popcorn kernels, it regularly gives him things now and more than once it has retrieved evidence for a case he's working on. He names it Kay and refers to Human Kay accordingly.

7- A little detail I noticed was that a lot of the information Mia got on Redd White was from conversing through the spiritual veil which seems to be her strong suit even as a spirit herself. She can talk to Phoenix without having to use a medium. I think it would be interesting to delve into all the nuances of the Fey's spiritual abilities outside of channeling. There's definitely a whole lot more to it than we're provided. How does that magatama work? how does Pearl charge it with 'spiritual power' and why is she the only one that can do it? I'm a hoe for magical worldbuilding so I would love to get my grubby fingers all over the Fey's.

8- Just two haters who can't have the job that they worked so hard for and are bitter about it. I like to think that Ema visited America at least once a year to visit Lana in prison and she stayed with Phoenix to save money on hotels. It just means something to me that it's her pin that's on his beanie and she gets included in the Wright family (+ Apollo) new years official art, and he keeps the investigative tools she gave him for nearly a decade. They aren't the best influence on each other but they understand each other more than nearly anyone else. They send each other pictures of Edgeworth whenever one of them is hanging out with him so the other doesn't feel left out. Also, they both think it's funny to catch him in the middle of talking or making a weird facial expression.

9- Some guy can't just change how trials are done for everyone without a lot of political bs, Phoenix is famous in law circles and even outside of law circles but he needs to convince a lot of important people (and expose a lot of corrupt important people) before it can go through. At some point, Edgeworth is going to pick him up and they're going on a private plane to talk to the president. It's important to me that he has trouble grasping how important he has become and is surprised every time he's invited to speak at some fancy event even though he's literally important enough to have statues made of him. He is the most iconic defense attorney, he solved the deaths of the two most notable defense attorneys before him in some of his first trials. He is going to be in history books and that is unimaginable to him.

10- Obviously since his canon ancestor is Japanese he's at least part Japanese but I mean like, in my mind, he's fully Japanese American who can speak the language and was raised by immigrants, but I also think that so many other hcs are fun. Is he latino with his black daughter? love that, inject some melanin in these attorneys please. I see the ensemble artwork and am blinded instantly.

[danmeichael]

jiang cheng's sexuality or desire for a relationship are secondary, he's actually an eternal bachelor because people are scared of wei wuxian going sweeney todd on them if they break jc's heart.

[prismatiger]

Homunculus

[bumblingbabooshka]

I've been feeling down so instead of an Art vs Artist I did a sort of 'accomplishments recap' of the year! [Patreon | Commissions]

[flavorcountry]

Instant Band Night is back again in two weeks and you should come!

Are you in the San Francisco Bay? Maybe? Do you know anyone who lives there? Probably?? Wanna just reblog this and help out???

You can probably guess what happens there, but here's how it goes:

The stage has a drum kit, guitar, bass, keyboard, and mics

We draw names out of hats to make instant bands that get 5 minutes in the green room to plan a 5-minute set. That's usually one (1) song

A hat-drawn artist will draw the band's gig poster on a meeting room easel pad while they play

The first rule of Instant Band Night is: 👏 YOU 👏 DON'T 👏 HAVE 👏 TO 👏 PLAY 👏 AN 👏 INSTRUMENT 👏 TO 👏 ATTEND 👏

Every show needs an audience! You can be part of it!

The second rule of Instant Band Night is: We guarantee you (the audience) an astonishingly excellent time

You'll see something you've never seen before every 5 minutes, it's gonna be great

The third rule of Instant Band Night is: Bring a friend or three!

Nov 9 2023 ALL DETAILS HERE (INCLUDES A VERY GOOD FAQ)

It comes back every other month on the second Thursday, so if you miss this one, mark your 2024 calendar for January 11

I've Blazed posts about the previous Instant Band Nights and a few people actually showed up who were either from Tumblr directly or got sent by friends who were, so I'm just going to keep doing it

If you want to hear about future Instant Band Nights, you can add yourself to the email list here!

[supercantaloupe]

nothing but support and understanding so far from my supervisor coworkers and professors when i reveal my present struggle with migraines and medication for the same. nevertheless it always feels like an exercise in humiliation to talk about it

[fatfemmefreaquency]

complaining/ self-indulgent misery about the job market/ economy/ how much life sucks these days if you’re disabled, especially in canada under the cut

no longer doing sex work because i hit a point of extreme burnout on it circa 2019/2020 has meant losing… just so much income

and like. the only thing scarier than what that burnout meant for my finances is that now i’m at a point of just emotionally not having the bandwidth for a remote job any more (working on the computer: i do bookkeeping, medical billing, run a remote office (medical), and some freelance graphic and web design and social media support for small businesses (mostly non-doctor health clinics and registered clinical counsellors, by referral)

but like. i’m so tired of working alone. i want to work around people again but my disability/ pinched nerve & muscle weakness stuff definitely means i don’t have the capacity to do manual labour again or even just like… a coffee shop or cook job (RIP—food & bev service is what i did pre-pro domme stuff. and i loved it)

like, uh, what does anyone do to make money these days????

i’m tired of being broke/ poor. i’m tired of relying on the goodwill of family for housing (even if i know i’m so very lucky to have the option—the goodwill comes with strings attached). i’m tired of not having extended health care, so i have to decide between things like medication vs. food and transport

i’m physically not able to do any kind of heavy lifting or a job where i stand all day. most customer service jobs won’t hire you if you have a physical disability (ask me how i know)

like i am GREAT at customer service. but i just need to be able to sit periodically and can’t always lift 50lbs (an application requirement at most jobs). on a good day i can lift 150lbs or more. on a bad day? I can’t even lift 10lbs

i am so good with people and v good at selling things—i just need to be allowed to sit sometimes (and i live in a capitalist hellscape (canada) where you cannot sit if you work in a shop. because corporations and even small business owners are stupid as fuck and don’t understand how productivity works)

there’s no way i have it in me (emotionally, physically) to go back to the labour of sex work (the emotional labour of online, or the emotional AND physical labour of in-person)

and i don’t have a degree. turns out completing somewhere between 2/3rds to 3/4ths of a BA before dropping out due to chronic pain & a deeply ableist and inaccessible university culture does NOT give you anything to show for it

life and livelihood just feels increasingly untenable and having an entire ‘career’ that is just… multiple ‘side’ hustles that make me increasingly less money (thanks, fiverr, big tech, and AI for completely devaluing my labour and expertise by saturating the market with undervalued/ underpaid or free options that will do the only work i’m capable of for pennies. yay!)

i’m so goddamn tired. and i’m scared of staying alive in a world that is so fucking unforgiving when you are disabled & broke

the irony is that for the first time ever i am no longer suicidal. and honestly? that’s WORSE than when i was. before i could at least tell myself “well if this becomes unbearable, i can always die”

but now things feel unbearable AND death doesn’t seem appealing at all

people will say shit like “tired of being broke/ poor? just get a job”

but like. WHERE? get a job HOW?

I live in a small-er town. there are no jobs

and no one wants to hire you if you’re a fucking cripple

“no one wants to work” NO. WRONG. it’s just that no one wants to pay a living wage to so-called “unskilled” workers and they especially do not want to pay a living wage to disabled people

“go on disability” disability wouldn’t even cover the cost of my medications, let alone food. and I make enough money from freelancing (like $1000/month) that I wouldn’t even qualify for full disability. the one thing disability would give me is money to pay family for the housing they let me have at like $2400 less than the market rate (because a 300sqft above-garage apartment like mine rents for about $2800/ month where I live)

i’m already on the “fair” (sic) pharmacare plan (for low income people) in my province. it doesn’t cover dental (my mouth is KILLING me. I have a toothache 24/7 and there is NOTHING i can do about it without ~$600, which i do not have to spare)

I can’t currently go get my diabetes medication because until I reach my annual deductible ($500), my meds will cost $300/ monthly—which i currently just don’t have, until i wrap up a contract job I’m currently working on and get paid

i just…. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I hate it here

and because it’s canada we don’t even have options like venmo or cashapp or whatever to ask friends for money—that’s an american only thing

even if i did? I wouldn’t feel all that comfortable doing so. everyone I know is just as bad off if not worse. i’m not taking money from anyone else living hand to mouth like I am

especially not because if i was willing to eat my pride and ask for more support from my parents they’d try to give it, if begrudgingly/ with shaming attached

i just… wish i lived in a country with an actual fucking safety net

we hear all the time about how good we have it in canada. but I’m sick of needing to drive three hours just to see a family doctor/ PCP/ general practitioner

sick of living in a small town where there is no fucking lab that does bloodwork outside of the hospital lab which is overrun and overtaxed because most of the labs are privately owned and it just… isn’t profitable to offer lab work in a smaller rural town ????? as if profit is more important than making sure people can get diagnostic tests in a timely manner?????

“oh at least you have healthcare!” what fucking healthcare? the bus between here and the city costs $30 round trip. there’s no public transit between here and there and the private coach company charges a lot. there are almost no specialists (gyne, endocrinologists, etc) in town because, again, it’s not cost-effective to have them in a small town and we’re only a 1.5 hour drive from the city

“everyone can afford a car, right?” NO. gas costs fucking $1.89/ L right now at the pump and insurance is like… $400 a month. my car doesn’t have winter fucking tires and while they do have Mud & Snow all seasons, the snow is two feet high outside and those tires are 5 years old. i am not taking the highway on them—plus i need a jump start probably after the cold snap

and even if i was gonna drive down to the city to see a doctor all they’d do is prescribe me more medicine that my “fair” pharmacare plan might or might not cover (if it isn’t the first line treatment then it costs $$$)

i hate it here. i hate this country so fucking much with its “at least we’re not the usa” bullshit. canadian exceptionalism is just “we’re better than america”

get the fuck out of here with that

the healthcare system fucking sucks actually. minimal medication coverage, no access to psychotherapeutic care that isn’t just… the worst and most ineffectual group cbt you can possibly imagine, no dental (well, dental in a year or so—thus far state-funded dental coverage has only been rolled out to senior citizens and children of low-income families. not low-income adults)

if you don’t live in vancouver, toronto, or montreal or the immediate metro areas of those cities the transit is a fucking joke

cost of living is insanely high in smaller towns

cost of rent is… also a nightmare

like… all of our taxpayer dollars just go to the police/ the rcmp

so many of the roads in my town are not paved or filled with potholes but if there’s a protest downtown sometimes there’s a cop to protester ratio of 1:5. why do we need a police force with hundreds of Mounties, each with their own massive police truck, for a town with 22 thousand people and virtually no crime????

public university costs less than the usa i guess. if you can get in

oh, you got into one of the handful of public unis? well congrats. hope you’re not disabled and that you don’t want any accommodations beyond an extra hour on tests and being able to withdraw late in the semester from courses (with a W on your transcript so everyone knows that even though you didn’t *technically* fail that course, you *are* a quitter. oh, the private colleges will expunge the course entirely with a doctors note after a late withdrawal? too bad you’re disabled AND too poor for college!)

and culturally just like… fuck. it is so goddamn lonely here. Canadians are nice but they sure aren’t kind

everyone’s out for themselves. there’s no community, unless you want to join a church and then there’s just… abusive cult-y community

i’m so fucking tired

i’m so tired

and i want a job, i guess. because i’m literally not going to survive without one

but idk how to find one that isn’t actively making me depressed, stressed, and so lonely and isolated that I want to break down sobbing at the end of each day

like what the fuck, actually

this is the bad place (for real for real)

but what kills me is it doesn’t have to be. like it is actually possible to have a functional healthcare system, to cover dental and medications for patients

to cover psychotherapy

it’s possible to actually support pwd, too. and not with just a pittance that ensures they will always be hungry and on the brink of losing their housing (of course that would make it really hard to convince us to kill ourselves via MAiD, but canada would rather pay for disabled suicide than pay for disabled people to eat food and wear clothes and have a roof over their head! neat! yay! eugenics!)

it’s possible to have mutual aid and a culture where people genuinely care for each other

it’s just that white people and the wealthy/ powerful have no compassion or solidarity with others and settler colonial nation states despise basic human decency

i’m so sick of kindness and food being luxury goods

so fucking sick of housing being treated like an investment before it’s treated like a human right

and i’m so sick of the fact that any taxes in this country just… line the pockets of corporations or pay the salary of cops who brutalize the public

our grocery stores are pretty much all owned and run by three companies that have a de-facto monopoly and a long history of price fixing and price gouging—the government did a whole big inquiry into it and then just wrapped it up with a “well you should fix that, we guess” no fines. no new legislation. no response.

rampant corruption is just… what canada is. what it’s always been

and watching the land die around me because of negligence and active hatred of nature is also so goddamn depressing. seeing how low the creek is this January. how dry and brown the evergreens are even in winter. watching the sky turn orange in the summer with forest fire haze and the grass dry to a crisp and the leaves on the trees get coated with mildew because they’re weak due to lack of nutrients and moisture in the soil

smelling the humus in the forests dry up

hearing that the local golf club owner shot a bear because it kept wandering onto the course

i’m so tired of the complete disregard settlers have for the land and its creatures. it’s their land, more than it is ours

one of the major climate activists in my province was just deported on bullshit justifications that he had “disturbed the peace” at a protest by resisting a cop that was being excessively violent when he cuffed him (an instinctive response, to “fight back” by struggling when a cop is fucking putting their whole weight on your back and hitting you) and that meant his visa was revokable

i just. it’s so important to have hope

but this is such a goddamn hopeless country

they keep us so small here. i feel so so small today

I don’t even want to think about what is going to happen with the election this year (fuck pierre polievre and fuck the Liberals who have just… destroyed this country utterly and are now proposing austerity as a “fix” for an economy they broke)

i REALLY don’t want to think about the trade war trump & the republicans/ the US just launched and what that will mean for the cost of living, especially groceries

i just want to go to sleep and never wake up (unless i wake up in a better world, or at the very least one in which i’m employable and have enough money to afford basic “luxuries” like food and housing and medication and keeping the heat on, and maybe, idk, a bit of fun every now and again that isn’t just pirated media consumption)