#is a filthy fucking man

[figthoughts]

random thing but soldier boy is such a freak like hsjjsjdkd

couple days ago i was talking with anas bot of hair braiding n such i was all cute doing his hair🥰 suddenly that man started growling and manhandling me and stuffing his hand inside my panties like!??hello??how are you??my name is?

no ur so real omg like why are soldier boy bots SO intense LMAOOO i lowkey love it i always end up arguing w them i swear they’re just a different breed they’re so fun

but right??? ben’s a fucking freak,, like i just imagine him being soooo animalistic in the bedroom, like grunting and growling with every thrust and just absolutely dominating whoever he’s with— tucking away limbs to get ‘em outta his way, yanking hair, shoving his fingers in your mouth and he definitely doesn’t mind being called sir or daddy at ALL

and call me crazy, but his misogynistic ass isn’t above a slap or two, just to remind you who’s in charge ughhhh i wanna write soldier boy smut headcanons now

[slttygeto]

hanma kisses your cheeks a lot. and its such a contrast to how filthy he can be. he whispers dirty things into your ear about how he “cant wait to stuff you full of his cock” or how he wants to “lick you through your panties” and then he pulls away and kisses your cheek while grinning.

[latimeria-fell-from-heaven]

oughnndfhhnnghh his voice, his fuckinmg voice,,,

[galaghiel]

"Alright, Jaune. Just like we practiced."

[your-fuccked-up-dad-volume100]

Deranged obsessive stalker that makes everyone that flirts with you go missing. (Me)🔪

[ktchie]

'Keep your mouth shut and your legs open'

Ted lasso x Reader

Smut and fluff

♡other tags: p in v, unprotected sex (don't do it or you'll die), cunnulingus, cum eating, vaginal fingering, soft dom!Ted, praising and degrading.

♤2.6k words

◇ y'all fuck in his office, what more do you want?

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

"Stop squirmin' so much, sugar" he mumbled in your ear, hot breath making your stomach coil. "And keep your pretty litte mouth close, don't want others to hear ya' but me"

You sat on his lap, legs wide open and slung on either side of his thigh. His fingers deep in your cunt, wet with slick and his spit.

The sounds of your pussy was filthy, soaking his khakis with every move of his arms. It makes your ear go hot and toes to curl. The image of you spread out on his office with your bare cunt weeping wasn't helping you either, it makes you feel dirty, like some cheap slut for him to use whenever he grew bored.

"Take a look at that" he spread his slick fingers apart in 'v', two web of precum connecting in between. "ain't it pretty?.." he then suck it with a loud pop "sweet too, makes me wanna put my whole face deep in that pretty cunt of yours, can I?"

You nodded your head mutely, brain could barely form any words aside from moans and whimpers. Ted chuckled at you before pressing peck on your cheek, sweet and gentle as if he wasn't breaking you apart on his lap with his fingers shiny with your slick.

"Gonna put you down yeah? Sit you 'ere on my spot so I can kneel down" Ted did exactly what he told you, carrying you as he stood up before putting you on his office chair, panties on your ankles and your skirt somewhere on the carpet.

He kneeled down slowly, his once innocent eyes bright with pure happiness and adoration were now darken with lust, almost wild, like a man starve. He stared at the spot between your things "Look'a that" four fingers touch your cunt, smearing your juices and making a mess. " 's pretty, and all for me ain't that right, hun?"

You nodded your head, almost squealing when Ted push your thighs apart, putting them on the arms of his office chair and leaning close to your cunt. "Need your words, baby doll. Tell me its all f'me"

" 's alll yours" you said almost in daze, your hand gripping your shirt thight halfway to your belly button. He had told you to do it earlier, command you do it so he could see his fingers disappearing in your pussy.

"Thats right" he mumbled before he blew on it, smiling as you shivered.

"This what you want, sugar? To be spread out in my office where everybody can walk in and see you actin' like this?" He lick a slow stripe of your cunt, you whimpered lowly. "Bet it is, hm? You've always been the filthy one. Even humpin' on my cock when I told you not to, who would have thought my perfect girl could be so disobedient?"

You feel like you were drowning, his words almost like a fleeting whisper as you sat there, chest panting and mouth agape. He was breaking you, pulling you apart until you turn into nothing but a toy for him to use. You clamped your mouth shut when you felt him lick you, poking your clit from the hood of your pussy before sucking it on his mouth with a filthy sound.

"Mhm!" You moaned through your palm, arching your back and gasping when he push it back down.

"Stay still" he ordered before diving back in, not even giving you a second to breath. He captured your clit between his lips, pulling  before sucking it, even going as far as to pressed his face further and lapping at your cunt. His tounge now on your throbbing hole, slurping any slick he could taste with his nose bumping your bundle of nerves.

"T-ted!" You moaned loudly as he started to aggressively eat you out, lapping and sucking like a man deprived of anything good in his life. He's tasting you like it would be his last, as if there's a noose around his neck ready to pull at a drop of a silver pin. "S-shit!" You threw your head back and slithered your fingers on his brown locks and pull, he groaned loudly as you did so but did not relent his actions.

Your pussy is fluttering at every poke of his tounge, your slick dripping down on the leather chair and towards his chin. He was a mess but the way he looks at you made you think he actually loves being dirty like this. He pulled away to kiss the inside of your thighs, lips shimmering with your juice and his spit.

"Stay still for me, would ya?" He had asked before pulling both of your thighs forward and making you slide down - you're half hanging on the chair and half laying down. "There we go, sweetheart. Be good f' me. Let me make this pretty pussy cry hm? Give you what you been wantin' for" he kiss your cunt briefly before he took two of his fingers and slowly push it in, you groaned loudly before pressing a palm on your mouth.

"Shhhh, I know. But you gotta keep quiet, alright darlin? Don't want those boys hearin' you while I'm fucking your cunt." He stated lowly, eyes stuck on the way you swallow his fingers, as if your pussy was hungry for everything he can offer."So fuckin' wet, sugar. Should have punish you y'know? Comin' on my work with that short skirt on, teasin' me and pretending you don't know a thing when I called ya out" he clicked his tounge with that stern tone that made your stomach coil and pussy throb. "Youre lucky i love ya' or else ill have ya on my knees right now, that sweet ass red from my palm and crying pretty tears. But I dont wanna hurt ya'" he licked his lips as a slick drip down from your pussy "can't have my pretty girl suffering, I don't think my poor heart can take it" he said before leaning down, capturing your hard clit on his mouth and giving a loud hard suck that had your thighs shaking and back arching.

"NGHHH!" your moans were muffled by your palm, eyes rolling back and jerking on every thrust of his hand.

Ted pry your thighs apart before his palm pressed on your lower abdomen, adding to your sensitivity and the overwhelming feeling of pleasure and ecstasy. He pulled away from your cunt, his hands slowly going faster and reaching for that hidden nerves that made you want to melt.

"So fucking pretty like this, darlin'" he praised you while he ruin you. "Such a pretty girl" he pecked your lips but you didnt have the right mind to even respond properly, you are out of it, your mind nothing but empty air and your body knows nothing but pleasure. He pressed his face into your neck, inhaling your scent as he put his other hand on the wall to keep him grounded while he fucked your pussy roughly. He groaned when you groaned and moaned when you moaned, he buried his face further into your throat, licking your skin and pressing to you close as you claw on his nape, you were shaking at this point, eyes closed and mouth agape.

His fingers were loud in your cunt, filthy and animalistic. He hit your spot at every thrust, chuckling at every swallowed sob of your blubbering mouth. "Too much hm? Better take it, you haven't even cum yet"

You keep your eyes closed tightly as you feel the coil on your stomach tightening, your pussy fluttering on his fingers, squeezing it tight and soaking it with your slick. You held onto him as you came, toes curling and teeth burried on his shoulder.

"There ya' go, that's my good girl, that's a sweetheart. So good for me, so fuckin' perfect" he kissed your cheeks repeatedly as he continued to fuck you with his fingers, not stopping even when your tears soak his shirt.

"Mgh! To-too sensitive" you had said but you chased his fingers when he almost pulled away. "Just a little longer, dolly. Wanna see you cum again"

You shook your head to say no, you could feel your cum dripping down the chair, could feel it stick to the inside of your thigh but Ted still didn't stop, only push forward. "Come on, darlin' you can do it"

"T-ted i-fuck, please I cant-"

"Yes you can" he kissed your forehead, lingering a little too long that you could feel your heart flutter. "Come on, I know you can do it. Just one more time, let go for me, sugar. Make me proud"

You came again with a silent cry, thighs shaking and eyes rolled back as Ted mumbled praises and sweet nothing in your ears.

"Good girl, there we go" he stated, his thrust slowing down.

"Love you, you did so good" he kissed you gently before pulling back, the fingers that were once buried in your cunt were now gone and you watch, with hooded eyes and heaving chest as he sucked it on his mouth.

"Ted.." you mumbled as you watched him undo his belt, the clashing mental echoing on the silent room as he watched you with dark eyes and a subtle smirk.

"Somethin' wrong, sweetheart?" He had asked coyly, pulling his khakis down lightly. "Ya need something?" He pulled his cock out of his boxers and it made you salivate, made you want to lean down and take it to your mouth, taste him like he had tasted you and make him fall apart.

"Fuck.." you whispered as you watch him thread his fingers to his slightly messy hair, licking his lips as he did so. Warm hands, almost enveloping the entirety of your thigh spread you apart once again, as if you're nothing but a toy.

"Keep those legs open f' me, yeah? Finally gonna give you my cock, sweetie. you'll behave, won't you?"

You nodded your head at his question, your pussy twitching at every movement he makes. His thumb caressed the skin in your inner thigh before he leaned down and spit on your throbbing cunt.

Your breath hitched as you stared at his large cock, dripping with precum and bobbing with need. It always makes you wonder how you can fit it in, how Ted makes you take it because seeing it now so so close, it almost seems like impossible.

"Dont worry your pretty little head, sugar" he licked his lips, lining up his cock on your sopping entrance. "It'll fit"

He thrusted slowly, gripping the flesh on your hips and thumb caressing your tummy. He groaned as as you clenched, holding on his arms as he swallowed the moan threatening to escape your mouth.

"F-fuck, almost there, darlin' almost there" he mumbled as he buried his face on your neck, mumbling curses as he move. His right hand push your thigh forward, folding you in half with a loud groaned as he finally bottom out. You moaned in return, closing your eyes and throwing your head back.

"There we go, sweetheart. There we fuckin' go, shit- told ya It'll fit, you're fuckin' made for me" he growled and suddenly thrusted a little harder, hitting that hidden bundle of nerves deep inside you. It made you choke on your own saliva and whimpered loudly. "Pretty pussy, made just f'me ain't that right, princess?" He held your cheek between his hand before pulling you for a kiss, swallowing your moans. 

You gasped as he started to move a little faster, rocking the chair beneath the both of you. You feel so full, his cock stretching you so widely you know you'll feel him till morning.

"Feel me in here?" He ask as he pressed a palm on your tummy, chuckling when he felt a dull bump beneath his hand. "You do don't ya? Cock so big im all up your fuckin' guts, its a suprpise you can still keep quiet hm?"

"P-please" you almost sobbed pathetically as he continue to hit that spot inside of you that makes you want to bury your head into his chest and screamed. "P-please, Ted"

He cooed and grab your face, his thumb swirling on your wet bottom lip as you stared up to him with daze eyes and agape mouth, head filled with nothing but air and the pleasure of his cock. "What is it, darlin? Need something from me?"

You nodded dumbly, sucking his thumb into your mouth and groaning loudly when he moaned and thursted forward rather harshly. "Te-tell me what you need, come on-shit, come on sweetheart. Ya know ill gave it to ya, just say the word" he push his thumb forward, caressing the pad of your tounge before pulling it out and putting it in your clit. "Cum? Wanna cum, is that it? Does my pretty dolly wanna cum?"

"Y-yes, want to cum, please Ted please" you begged pathetically, tears brimming in your eyes from all the pleasure you're receiving. Your pussy practically weeping.

"Shhh, I know, I know. Aint gonna have to beg yeah? Don't have to, you know ill give to ya" he groaned and clenched your hips harder. "Fuckin love ya so much ill give the whole goddamn world to you" he confessed before capturing your lips in a bruising kiss, Ted tasted like salt and sweet and love and promises you know you'll keep, you pulled him towards you and embrace him as his cock drilled into your wet cunt, you held him so close you could barely breath. "I got you, sweetheart. Shi-shit squeezin me so tight" he held the back of your chair and started ramming into you fast, almost too much.

"Mmhh" he whimpered, thumb moving into your clit a little bit faster now and more sloppier. "M' close.." he whispered and put his forehead into you, closing his eyes "come with me, honey. Please" he begged so beautiful your heart ache, you nodded at his request and captured his face into the both of your palm before kissing him gently.

"I love you" you whispered and soon enough you were coming, your toes curling and your back lifting. Ted clenched his jaw and lightly pulled your hips up and started fucking you like it was his last.

"Fuck!" Soon enough he had come, throwing his head back and his hips stuttering. Whimpering and twitching whenever you clenched tight.

"S-shit, sweetheart" he breathed heavily before looking down on you, flashing you that love sick smile partnered with his blushing cheeks.

You grin up to him and kiss him passionately, soft and gentle and filled with adoration.

"Ya should come here more often" he had said with a cheeky grin, moving away to tuck himself back to his jeans before gently putting your panties back into you.

You scoffed "and you said I'm the dirty one"

Ted laugh lightly "oh well I guess we both have our moments. But um-" he looked down, suddenly shy as if he wasnt just rearranging your guts a second ago. "I would really love it if you come here more often and we dont hav'ta..y'know..just wanna spend time with ya, that's all"

You breathed a sigh and pull him close and kiss his nose. "Youre too cute"

"Does that mean you'll come again tomorrow?" He gave you his very best puppy eyes, the one that would make even the gods bend their knee.

You rolled your eyes affectionately "Of course ill come" you smiled at him slightly "I don't think I can sayo no to that pretty face"

He grinned cheekily. "I know"

Ted kissed your knuckles and you suddenly realize that you don't mind marrying this man and maybe even going into his work very day, seeing him like this is worth it anyway.

[bitethedevil]

I’m too fatherless to ever experience that disgust you feel about someone saying your dad is hot. As a Danish person, I do however feel that foreigners thirsting over Mads Mikkelsen and calling him daddy is the closest I’ll ever get to that feeling.

[just-null]

How do we feel about Beach wear Noritoshi....

Everyone thinks he'd go covered head to toe wearing those wet suits divers use, but no. Noritoshi isn't the type to want to attract attention to himself when it's not needed, so he'd try to blend in. Emphasis on try.

He's the guy wearing a covering or some shit. I think you'd have to fight him to wear a translucent one. (if you splash him with water, you'll acheive the same effect thoughahahaha) even though it's a beach, he's trying to find an appropriate way to cover up, hes just like that. yes to sunscreen ofc. I can see him in a sun hat, but it's not his.. maybe he took it from one of the girls

HIS HAIR WOULD BE UP BC ITD BE TOO HOT AND THE SUN HAT WOULD HELP HIM FROM GETTING OVERHEATED H.H....H IS FACE WOULD BE FLUSHED BC OF THE HEAT AND. AND. AND.. he's like the beach babe on the shore, soaking up the sun and reading a book or smth. if you splash him with water, i can see him trying to get you back. then boom bam, hes in the water with everyone else.

OH FUCK that's even IF he goes to the beach. it's like seeing God in the flesh, idk man I'd go blind........... hed probably come along when he realizes theres hot people at the beach. he cant have you looking at people in that state, hold on hes going. give him five minutes..!

EXTRA

[untied covering version under the cut. like his booefjehsaf are out aha.]

ahahahahahahahahaa *froths at the mouth*

mf dont even begin to look at me like that

[xxplastic-cubexx]

ohhh i just know magneto is so pathetic in bed constantly asking charles if he’s making him feel good and charles just praising him like 😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌

THIS IS WHAT I LOG ON TO THIS WEBSITE FOR 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[queenlua]

this list is a depressing enumeration of everything that makes modern web design so aggravating, lol

[aromanticgarbage]

The whole joji - filthy frank wiki debacle.

[isa-ah]

the way people feel completely entitled to being nasty, snarky, and belittling towards me for having to ask for allergy information... there's a special place in hell for you genuinely

[mrsoharaa]

Riding him like you're stealing his soul, sultrily smoothing out your left palm flatly onto his heaving chest, pressing down ever so lightly as you roll and grind your hips perfectly along his solid hips, getting that perfect angle deep inside of you as you grin coyly, seductively "You want to be a daddy so bad, don't you baby?" and he gets all flustered and almost cums immediately on the spot from your depriving, promising words.

"Here, let's make you a good father then baby, just give everything to me - make me a pretty mommy, baby"

[yamimichi]

Elon Musk is under fire for 'liking' this highly offensive and disgusting meme. Elon Musk, who is himself on the Autism Spectrum, thought this was funny.

He's also been known to refer to his diagnosis by the Nazi guy's name.

I for one am extremely offended by this. If I wasn't already off of Twitter than I'd definitely be off of there now.

[pinkyjulien]

Tagged by @arcandoria MMWAH Thank you bb 👁👄👁

Rules: Make a poll with five of your all-time favorite characters and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favorite!

▶ Tagging, no pressure in doing it 🤏 @lokiina - @elvenbeard - @wraithsoutlaws - @cybersteal - @teddys-shion

[nosugarallspice]

Lemme just go take my place.. in between his legs.