#is Sun jealous of the attention Sky gives Fi? the answer is: hell yeah

[gutiuniverse]

Wild: Want to play a game? Legend: Uh…sure…? Wild: It's called Sun or Fi. I give you actual quotes I've heard Sky say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or the sword. Legend: … Legend: Awesome.

[talkfastromance4]

Lost Without You-- Calum Hood oneshot

Copyright talkfastromance4 © All works is intellectual property of the author. All rights reserved. Any redistribution or reproduction or any part or all contents in any form is prohibited. You may not, without written expression and consent from the author, distribute works amongst other social media platforms

A/N: based off of Fly By Midnight’s new song Lost Without You. Give it a listen as  some of the lyrics are incorporated in the piece! 

Warnings: angst, moody and broody

Word count: 2,577

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Enjoy! :)

• • • •

Calum is a man of deception; the Houdini of keeping his six-year relationship hidden from the media sharks’ eyes. He’s the mastermind of averting their invasive questions of why he hasn’t found a special someone yet, what’s the hold-up, to the attention of this awesome bass riff he’s been working on. It’s not that he was ashamed of you or your love, he wanted at least one part of his life to stay private.

Part of his deception is keeping his lips sealed. He’s perfected the silent-yet-observant role of the band, only speaking when he deems it necessary and if it’s related to the band, Duke, or their music while simultaneously he was having a full conversation with you on his phone about how all the planets share the same sun.

For six years, your relationship worked amazingly well. He adored your compassion for his dream, always referring to you as his biggest fan which always made you laugh. It’s been six years of late-night calls, paragraphs shared of how much you meant to each other filled with promises of the adventures you’d have when you’re reunited again. It’s been endless voice notes of a new song he wrote, memories upon memories printed on polaroid’s and saved in a lot of albums on your phone.

For six years it worked until it didn’t.

Complacency became very apparent and the feeling of being stuck in one place crept up your neck and whispered in your ear while your friends were getting engaged left and right. While out and about you felt jealous of other couples who could freely kiss one another. Seeing the guys and their girlfriends cuddle while you were all out dinner left a burning hole in your heart while Calum was three seats away.

For six years it did work, but the comfortable bubble you were in for so long suddenly became uncomfortable and claustrophobic. It was a long break up that left you both teary eyed, your makeup cleaned off from the salt in your tears, and your voices hoarse from talking. You tried talking it through, but the only solution seemed to be taking a break.

A break from your best friend of six years, a break from a love so genuine.

It’s been six months since that miserable night where half his heart was taken and Calum doesn’t want to be by himself these days, he doesn’t want to think of himself this way without you. But he has been thinking about it, every second, every day. He’s been thinking of you constantly.

And you’ve been thinking of him too. Recently you’ve been seeing a new guy, someone from the gym you go to who has shown interest multiple times. He’s the opposite of Calum, so you thought you’d give it a try. Something different, something new.

“Why’d you decide to give me a chance now? I’m glad you did, don’t get me wrong, but I’m curious,” Matt asks while you’re out for coffee.

“I haven’t been alone since I was eighteen,” you confess. You felt a release as you finally opened about your relationship with Calum, leaving his name anonymous so Matt wouldn’t blab to the press you were dating a member of 5 Seconds of Summer.

Your heart burst open of your whole relationship, six years of memories, love, a friendship set on fire, finally released into the open.

“Then why did it end?” Matt asks while he walked you up to your door. You hadn’t realized you talked about your relationship for the whole date, how pathetic is that?

Instead of answering him, you pulled him in for a kiss that traveled to your bedroom. Opening up about Calum opened your sadness of the breakup as well. The whole time you were with Matt, you compared him to Calum in your mind. His fingers were clumsy while Calum’s were sure and precise, years and years of bass playing under his belt did wonders. His hair was thin between your fingers while Calum’s was thick and fluffy. Matt’s movements were jerky while Calum’s were fluid as water.

When it was over, you rolled over to gaze out the window, tears brimming your eyes because for the first time in six months, you felt lost without Calum. There’s another body where he used to be, and you can’t stand the thought. Thoughts of Calum left you awake until Matt kissed you goodbye and left.

Calum’s over at Michael’s, he’s on his fifth white claw and he feels the alcoholic bubbles taking effect. In his impaired state, he pulls out his phone and scrolls to your text conversation, six years’ worth of conversation still held in his phone’s memory.

Him: I miss you when it hurts

Knowing you won’t reply but hoping that you do, he stumbles to the hammock. With one foot on the earth he sways from side to side staring at the stars through the trees. He’s wondering if all those stars have been in the sky since your relationship started when his phone does the two-toned ding reserved only for you.

Excited and nervous all at once, he almost falls out of the hammock reaching for his phone that falls between the netting of the hammock. Cursing under his breath he stretches until his fingers grab hold of the device, the light of the screen illuminates his face.

Her: I’m sleeping in your shirts

His heart skips a beat, his mouth goes dry just imagining you in his shirts. He hasn’t seen his sensation shirt in two years because you stole it and claimed it yours. Every couple months he’d get it back so that it would end up smelling like him and you’d steal it all over again. He loved seeing you walk around your place in nothing but his shirts, he loved the way your ass peeked out from the hem.

Him: but seeing you would make it worse

He impatiently waits while your gray bubbles pulsate on his screen. Then they stop and then your pretty face is on his screen followed by your ringtone. Surprised, he nearly drops his phone again before answering.

“Hello?” he asks breathlessly.

“Can we still talk on the phone sometimes?” you ask.

Calum falls out of the hammock this time because he hasn’t heard your voice in so long. Six years he’s been hearing your voice in his head, on his phone, in his ear while you whisper dirty things. Six months without your voice has been hell and hearing it now, it’s like he’s at the gates of heaven.

“Of course, we can,” he finally responds climbing back into the hammock. He licks his lips. “How are you? Are you okay?”

“Yeah…I’m okay,” you respond softly. He knows every nuance of your voice; he can tell you’re telling him the half-truth. “Are you okay?”

“I’m better now.”

Over the next several weeks, you’ve been talking on the phone more frequently. You’re still seeing Matt every now and then, just to give you something to do and hopefully not think of Calum. That’s damn near impossible.

You’re on the phone with Calum while you’re sitting out on your balcony watching the sun go down. Both of you haven’t said a word in about five minutes, but hearing his breathing makes it feel like he’s right there with you. The two of you always had comfortable silences of enjoying each other’s presence.

“Can we be the exes that still stay friends?” he asks.

Your feet slam to the floor that were perched on the railing at his question. It filled you with butterflies.

“I’d like that, Calum. I’ve missed my best friend,” you admit shyly.

“He’s missed you, too.”

Matt spent the night and after your morning coffee, you laid on the floor staring at your ceiling fan as it rotates. The cool air blows on your skin and it reminds you of all the times you and Calum would lay on the floor or the grass, heads next to each other, as you talked about random things. Matt found you like that and asked what you were doing.

“Come lay with me, let’s talk,” you say reaching for his hand.

You feel his hesitancy as he lays next to you.

“What do we talk about?” he mumbles in confusion.

“Anything. Don’t you think it’s weird that Mars has the same sun we do?”

“No,” he snorts.

Suddenly, your door opens and with a rush of panic you sit up expecting to see Calum thinking that it’s him. Part of you wants him to see Matt and the other part of you wishes Matt weren’t in the picture at all. Crestfallen, it’s one of Matt’s friends who came by to pick up a video game he had. Matt leaves you on the floor and you send a text to Calum asking him about Mars and the sun.

He replies quickly with how that fact still blows his mind and you smile.

Ten months have gone by and Calum is pacing back and forth in his kitchen. Duke is following his motions, tongue lolling out and panting while the rest of the band follow the dad and dog duo. You’re coming over for the first time. For the first time since the breakup he’s going to see you and it has his stomach reeling.

“Why are you freaking out so much?” Michael asks.

“Because, it’s been so long! It could either go really well or end horribly,” Calum huffs continuing to move back and forth.

“Will you stop pacing?” Ashton demands, “you’re making me dizzy. It won’t end horribly. You’re already broken up.”

That stops Calum instantly. He glares at his best friend for his blunt remark, Michael and Luke share the same look.

“What?! I’m not wrong! What could be worse than that?”

“We’ve only started being friends again…she could decide she doesn’t even want that,” Calum sighs leaning against the counter. Duke sits at his feet.

“You’ve been friends for six years…yeah, you were also a couple, but I don’t understand how you can just stop being friends with that much history,” Ashton shrugs.

“Yeah, you don’t understand,” Calum shakes his head. Only you and he know where your relationship stands. He’d give you the moon if he could, lasso it and all that like from that movie you love so much.

The doorbell rings and Calum stands up stick straight, he breaks into a cold sweat. Michael offers to get it and when he returns, it’s only Andy and Sarah. At every doorbell Calum waits for you to walk through his door again but is met with disappointment when it’s another party guest.

Feeling defeated he collapses onto the couch, swiping through apps on his phone while the party blurs around him. Duke hops up and lays in his lap.

“Hey guys. Where’s Calum?”

Upon hearing your voice, Calum and Duke both perk up with Duke bounding off his lap and running to wherever your voice came from. Calum stands slowly, hearing your sweet words to Duke as he rounds the corner. Seeing you after all this time is like he can finally breathe again. You’re giving Duke kisses and Calum notices that your hair is different, the new cut and style takes him by surprise but you’re beautiful as ever.

Then your eyes lift to his and he swears he felt the planets align within him. When you smile it’s like he’s seeing the sun for the first time.

“Hey, you made it,” he says gruffly then mentally slaps himself. He should have said something cooler, more riveting but you smile all the same and stand up.

“Hi. Yeah, I did. I wouldn’t miss it.”

After grabbing you a drink he ushers you to a quiet corner where he awkwardly asks for a hug. You share a timid embrace, but it still feels like home. He wants to hold you forever but reluctantly lets go so you can catch up some more.

For the whole night you stay in that spot, unless he left to refresh your drinks, or you grabbed a snack that you shared on the same plate. As the last people left, you and Calum were left alone on the couch, the lights dimmed, and the music changed to something more chill.

“I thought you would’ve brought Matt with you,” Calum says. The other guy’s name leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and his next sentence tastes like bile. “I want to meet him.”

“I thought about it,” you sigh leaning your head against the couch. Your head presses against Calum’s arm that’s slung over the back and he sucks in a breath at the contact. “But it’s not working with him.”

“No? Why’s that?” he tries to sound polite.

You stare at him for a long time, taking in his dark eyes, the slight curl at the ends of his hair, his tattoos peeking from his shirt and the three moles you’ve always loved to kiss.

“I’m lost without you,” you confess.

He stares back for a beat.

“You’re lost without me?”

“These ten months have been so hard. I think about you all the time, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to come over and beg for you to take me back. But I hurt you. I know I did. I hated that night we broke up; it was one of the worst nights of my life. But why would you want me back after I threw in the towel because I was feeling affection deprived? That’s not fair. And then when you texted me…I felt so happy. This whole thing was stupid, and I understand if you don’t want—”

Calum silences you by pressing his lips to yours. You kiss back eagerly, welcoming the comfort of his soft lips against your own, your fingers immediately flying into his hair. His own hand cups your face, you melt at the warmth of his skin and a chill runs through you when his tongue slips between your lips. The world stops, the music drifts away as you kiss your best friend, your soulmate after so many days apart.

The kiss leaves you both breathless and gasping for air as you break apart, but you don’t move far, his forehead rests on yours. You caress the back of his neck while his thumb caresses your cheek.

“I’ve been lost without you, too, cupcake,” he mumbles and your heart rushes at his nickname for you. “I was nervous as shit before you came, I didn’t think you were going to.”

“I almost didn’t come,” you chuckle, “I kept imagining I’d see you with some new girl hanging off you.”

“The only girl I need is you.”

You’re kissing him again, then ask on his lips, “Maybe we should--?”

“Baby, we should start again,” he finishes for you. “We’re both different now. We’ll be different, we’ll…we won’t hide this time. You’ve been a part of my life for so long, you held my childhood that I didn’t want to let go of yet.”

“It’s not letting go, it’s moving forward,” you trace his eyebrows then poke each one of his small moles that you love because they’re like stars.

“Move forward with me?” he asks, nudging his nose against yours kissing you again. You nod against him as he pushes you onto the couch. Your love lost was found again.

• • • •

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**if your url has a strike through it’s because your blog didn’t show up as a tag! :(

[hipsofsteel]

Find Out For Yourself

A RusCan fic written during FemSlash February 2015 (FrUk and eventual AmeBel as well)

Prompt: Person A goes by an alias, to the annoyance of B. The only way B will learn A’s name is to “find that out for yourself.”

Anya Braginsky has been using an underground social site for years to speak to other members of the LGBTQ community. Her best friend is a user named MapleBabe, who was her first friend online. Two years after their first online meeting, they both agree to go to Hetalia University, and MapleBabe challenges Anya to discover who she really is. While trying to figure out the mystery, Anya meets Madeline Bonnefoy, a fellow member of the school's women hockey team, and develops a close friendship, all while still trying to discover and meet MapleBabe. She might be a bit closer than she thinks.

PS This work features Trans Girl America

[Chapter Masterpost Here]

Chapter Two: Anger

The next day was hockey practice. I didn’t really talk for the whole time.

Coach Baudin came up to me. “Are you sick, Braginsky? You look pretty tired today.”

“I’m fine, I just…” I started to say, but then I started coughing. And not a quiet little cough. No, it was a cough that could make mountains shake.

“Alright, this isn’t an option. Go back to your dorm and get some rest. That’s my order.”

“Yes, Coach.”

I skated back over to the locker rooms right as Maddie was coming out.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I replied, and then went past her without another glance.

MapleBabe is online.

MapleBabe: Hey, did you figure it out?

AnyaBee: Go away.

MapleBabe: Why?

AnyaBee: Because I’m fucking pissed at you, and punching myself for not realizing it earlier.

MapleBabe: What did I do?

AnyaBee: What haven’t you done? Lied to my face, pretended to care.

MapleBabe: What in motherfucking hell are you talking about?

AnyaBee: Your name is Madeline (MADDIE) Bonnefoy. MB isn’t MapleBabe, it’s your initials. You pretended to be a stranger, when I knew you the whole time. You pretended that you were watching the hockey game, when in fact you were out on the ice. You invited me over to your house, and THEN PRETENDED TO BE JEALOUS. YOU LISTENED TO ME SPILL MY HEART OUT, AND SAID NOTHING. YOU’RE THE FIRST PERSON I EVER CAME OUT TO IN REAL LIFE, AND IT WAS ALL JUST A SHAM.

MapleBabe: Anya, that’s not true.

AnyaBee: Really? Oh really? Your name’s not Maddie then, huh? I should have known. Little brother, only one actual parent. What threw me off was the fact that you said YOU WERE UNABLE TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND, OR AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT YOU TOLD ME.

MapleBabe: That is true.

AnyaBee: You have two dads. They would understand.

MapleBabe: Two dads is a lot different than two moms.

AnyaBee: Sure.

MapleBabe: Anya Braginsky, you listen to me right now! My papa told me that he prays that I’m going to be straight. My dad yelled at Alfred for wearing one of my dresses once. Two gay dads do not mean they want lesbian daughters or transgender sons!

MapleBabe: Anya, you think you know how it feels, and you do, but let me tell you why Al’s been so quiet. Because he’s afraid. Because SHE’S afraid. My GAY parents wouldn’t be happy if I was a lesbian, but they’d live. However, if AMELIA KIRKLAND told them the truth, she’d be out on the street in five seconds.

MapleBabe: You don’t know me, Anya. I thought you’d understand. Guess I was wrong.

AnyaBee: Maddie, I...

AnyaBee: Maddie, I’m sorry.

MapleBabe has disconnected.

The next few days were spent in silence at hockey practice. I tried to apologize, but there was nothing I could do.

Valentine’s Day came and went. Maddie said nothing, just marched off after practice while blasting Beyonce’s All The Single Ladies.

I didn’t know what to do.

Finally, I monitored her MapleBabe profile, and looked at her recent friend additions. Eventually, I found a likely candidate.

Freedom Jones has accepted your friend request.

Freedom Jones is online.

Freedom Jones: Hey, you’re Anya, aren’t you?

AnyaBee: Yeah. Alfred?

Freedom Jones: Yep.

AnyaBee: Maddie said you prefer Amelia.

Freedom Jones: Only online. Too dangerous to be Amelia at home.

AnyaBee: I’m sorry about that.

Freedom Jones: Hey, did you piss Maddie off or something? She’s been acting weird lately.

AnyaBee: I said some really stupid things. I thought she’d been just messing around with me when I found out you had two dads. She rightfully turned around and yelled right back at me.

Freedom Jones: I know how you feel. It’s so strangely hypocritical. Two gay men who don’t like lesbians and hate transgender people.  

AnyaBee: I knew gender can be a problem in all homes, but I thought your dads would at least be more accepting of sexualities.

Freedom Jones: Nope, but I have a boyfriend. He understands who I am, and he’s cool with it either way. Guess that’s the benefit of dating a bisexual.

AnyaBee: That’s good. At least you have someone.

Freedom Jones: You know, until I came out to Maddie, she only had you to talk to. Don’t give up on her yet. She’s just hurt.

AnyaBee: Okay.

Freedom Jones: Take care of yourself, Anya.

AnyaBee: You too, Amelia.

Freedom Jones has disconnected.

“Maddie?” I spoke quietly.

“What?” She turned, and her voice had a bite to it.

“I’m sorry. I really am. I just wish you’d told me, hinted at it. Something.”

“Yeah, well it’s too late to take it back.” She replied, and then turned her attention back to her phone. She was standing at the bus stop. She made a run to the grocery store every Friday morning if we were in town.

“Look, I talked to Amelia…”

“What?! Anya, you have no right to…”

“I sent a friend request, she started the chat. The only question I asked was me confirming it was her.”

Maddie still seemed angry.

“I’m sorry that I’m a douchebag instead of a friend.”

Maddie still didn’t speak.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. See ya.”

MapleBabe is online.

MapleBabe: Why were you talking to Anya?

Freedom Jones: Why aren’t YOU talking TO Anya?

MapleBabe: That’s none of your business.

Freedom Jones: Same here.

MapleBabe: Amelia, you know it’s dangerous to let people know who you are on these sites.

Freedom Jones: Yeah, but at least I’m not treating my friends like shit.

MapleBabe: What do you mean by that?

Freedom Jones: Anya might have said some stupid things, but you haven’t exactly been treating her nicely. For two years you hid, and then, while you knew exactly who she was, you forced her to play a guessing game. No wonder she feels betrayed. You watched her every move and never admitted it to her.

MapleBabe: I was playing it safe.

Freedom Jones: The time for playing it ‘safe’ is over, Maddie. For all of us.

MapleBabe: What do you mean by that?

Freedom Jones has disconnected.

My cell started ringing at one in the morning.

“Fuck.” I groaned, trying to grab it before Odeta woke up, but I missed and just knocked it onto the floor..

“I hate you.” She muttered under her breath.

“I’ll make it up to you in the morning.” I said, grabbing the phone and clicking ACCEPT. I stood and walked into the bathroom. “Who’s this?”

“Anya, it’s Maddie.”

“Why are you calling me right now?!”

“It’s an emergency. Amelia’s disappeared, and she left a letter for my parents.”

I paused. “Did they kick her out?!”

“No, she just ran. Dad’s out trying to find her, and papa’s at home, but they’re both upset and I have no clue where she’d be going.”

I nodded. “Where are you?”

“I’m at the bus depot, asking incoming drivers if they’ve seen her, well, him. They wouldn’t believe me if I said her.”

“I’ll be out in a bit. I’ll call you if I find anything.”

“It’s raining. Be careful.”

I hung up the phone, and turned on my lamp. “What’s going on?” Odeta asked as I pulled out a set of clothes.

“Friend’s younger sibling ran away. She asked me to help.”

“Need me to tell Baudin if she comes looking?”

“Yeah.I’ll pay you back with free food or something when I return.”

Odeta made a hand motion that said Okay now turn off the lights. I pulled on my heavy trench coat, thick warm hat, and my favorite scarf. Combat boots, leather gloves, knife in pocket (always present in case of emergencies), and once I grabbed my flashlight and car keys, I was ready to go.

After three hours, I was beginning to lose hope.

Maddie called every ten minutes or so, hoping. But I’d found nothing.

“Maddie, she might already be out of town…”

“She wouldn’t. She’s smart, she’d stay in the area so I could help her!”

“Okay, whatever you say.”

At about six, the sun began to lighten the eastern sky. I started to turn around to pick up Maddie, until I thought of something.

I entered a Wi-Fi cafe, and after buying a coffee, pulled out my phone.

I went to Freedom Jones’s profile. The site was a social network, and I knew about some codes.

I read the bio Amelia had written.

hEY fellOw internet beings. the Name is freedom, freedom jones. i’m a transgenDer girl just trying to live her life free from her father’s tyranny! all people welcome here, long as you Aren’t creeps_K, i’ll talk to you in the chatrooms.

That hadn’t been the bio she’d had earlier. It had all the same info, but it had been written for someone else.

Someone who knew a certain code.

HONDA_K

I went to the profile. Bisexual boy. This was it. She knew either Maddie or I would get the message.

I sent a request, and it was answered in minutes.

HONDA_K has accepted your friend request.

HONDA_K: Hey Anya, it’s Amelia. I’m just using Kiku’s profile right now.

AnyaBee: Everyone’s out looking for you. Maddie’s at the bus depot, your dad’s wandering the streets, and your papa’s at home waiting for you to come back.

HONDA_K: I don’t want to go back until I know what they think about me.

AnyaBee: Can I at least tell them I’ve contacted you and that you’re safe.

HONDA_K: Yeah, as long as you don’t tell Maddie how to get a hold of me. I don’t want to talk to her at the moment.

AnyaBee: Then you’d better decode your bio quick, and unfriend Kiku if you’re friends.

HONDA_K: No, I use a separate profile to talk to him, and he’s the only one I talk to on that profile.

AnyaBee: Smart girl.

HONDA_K has disconnected.

HONDA_K is online.

HONDA_K: Bio decoded. Thanks for letting me hide for now, Anya.

AnyaBee: Yeah, I just hope your sister doesn’t flay me. I’m gonna de-friend you now just to cover your tracks.

HONDA_K: Thanks.

AnyaBee: Take care.

HONDA_K: Will do.

AnyaBee has disconnected.

AnyaBee is no longer your friend.