#ironically the math is the easiest part here

[lovingempress]

Week 3 of nursing school and still questioning why I put myself up to this

💀

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Shiitake Happens || Morgan & Deirdre

TIMING: Current

LOCATION: Morgan & Deirdre’s house

PARTIES: @deathduty @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: Deirdre comes home after a party, but not in the way Morgan expects.

Under the bright lights of the murder shed, Morgan gleamed with delight. This version of the piece was coming out much better than anything she’d sketched out or tried before. The wooden foundation Ricky had helped make allowed her to fill the base with flowers and twigs, something that would look for a perfect, mushroom-free Samhain celebration. She had fastened a bit of black tourmaline to the center piece, a geometric sculpture made from tiny animal leg and finger bones that seemed to cradle the crystal as if it was sacred. Tiny chipmunk spines wove out from the sculpture and looped around the floral, autumn base. There were plaster bits marking where Morgan wanted more bones, or maybe a crystal, but this coronet was actually living up to her expectations.

Morgan checked the time and scooped up the coronet, jogging through the backyard and into the kitchen. Everything was fine. She had checked her calendar and messaged Debbie, as far as anyone could figure, everything was fine and Deirdre was probably doing...whatever she did to kill people fate had ordained, or at least witness their deaths. And she was so bad at technology sometimes, maybe she didn’t even realize she’d sent a half message and signed off. As soon as she was home, Morgan would just tell her, and it would all be some stupid, sad accident. And she would come home. Deirdre always came home when she said she would.

Moira was waiting for Morgan at the back door, mewling in welcome and giving her leg rubs before jumping to the counter to sniff around the new toy in her environment (because obviously anything new in the house was a toy to Moira). “No, no, darling, not for you!” She cooed, scooping the kitten up and cradling her as she swayed to a song in her head. “You can have all the catnip in the whole wide world, but that prototype is for your other mommy.” And just in time, a pair of headlights flashed up the drive. Morgan bounced with excitement and rushed to the stove, heating up the dinner she’d made too early in the day to pass the time. There wasn’t much occasion to be doing anything special, but with all distress around them, Morgan felt right about doing something special for her love, and it was always the most impressive, and the easiest, when it was a surprise.

Deirdre drove her car into the garage door. It was fine, she assumed, because as she rolled out of her car she noticed the dent was oddly mushroom-shaped, and everything was better if it was mushroom-shaped. She had been fighting it for so long, and when she suddenly couldn’t anymore, the revelation came to her with stark clarity: fairy rings were fate-sent opportunities. And who was she to deny the will of fate? Deirdre rolled again, tumbling over on the yard, laughing as she laid on the cool grass. She imagined she could’ve slept there, but she wanted inside her house to do away with her pesky clothes. And so she continued to roll and hop and skip to the front door, where she laughed at her silly hands as they fumbled with her keys and flopped onto the floor as soon as she managed to get the door open. The floor was cool and inviting and she could’ve slept there too if not for the burning desire to see Morgan again---a desire that ultimately proved more powerful than the allure of parties and dancing. But Morgan didn’t like the mushrooms, and even in her state, Deirdre wanted Morgan to be happy. She took great care to seem as normal--boring--as she could. “Taxes!” She yelled, picking herself off the ground and dusting off. “I just adore maths! I’m very into numbers!” Deirdre tiptoed closer to the smell of food, stifling her giggles as the hardwood creaked under her; it always did sound a little like farting, and that was funny. “I’m home, Mushr--Morgshroo--Morgue!”

Looking back, the sound of the garage door crunching under metal should’ve been the first sign that everything was going to fall apart. But in the moment Morgan had suspected, well, literally anything else. She reached for a kitchen knife, she started backing away from the windows, calculating how long it would take her to get to her iron rod, to the armory, where Deirdre might be, because Deirdre didn’t crash cars, Deirdre loved her ashton martin, as much as she loved anything material at least. She didn’t recognize the sounds floating through the door, and when she heard the keys fumbling, Deirdre’s keys, Morgan gave a desperate, animal prayer in her heart of no, please no, please don’t do this. But the woman crashed to the floor, dirty and tangled with the mess of nature, and spoke to her with Deirdre’s voice.

For what seemed like a long time, Morgan couldn’t find the will to speak. It wasn’t supposed to get bad until October. That’s what Deirdre had said. October, a month away, and maybe even more if they could be careful and vigilant and smart-- but here this woman was, so delirious on mushrooms she couldn’t even say Morgan’s name right, couldn’t stand on her feet without laughing at who only knew what. She saw the woman creeping towards the food, grilled eggplant, and some carrots and herbs in a buttery sauce. Morgan stepped aside so the woman could get to it without brushing past her. “Hello,” she said at last, the air all gone out of her voice. “D-dinner’s...almost ready. If you’d like to sit somewhere.”

Didn’t Morgan usually greet her with more enthusiasm? Well, Deirdre couldn’t tell. It was so hard to read the expressions on non-mushrooms anyway. She leaned into the pan, nearly dunking her face into the sauce as she tumbled to get a better smell. “Smells good!” She grinned, snapping up in another abrupt movement. She turned her head to smile at Morgan but her eyes couldn’t focus on her for long without trailing away in search for more interesting sights--snapping back sporadically as she continually came to the conclusion that Morgan was the most interesting sight. But she didn’t look mad, which was good. Her acting must have been good. Now she just had to keep it up. Her face scrunched as she thought of what other boring things she could talk about. “I like seats and sitting. That sounds fun. I’ll do that.” And then she dropped to the floor, crossing her legs and smiling up at Morgan. “Look, I’m sitting.” This was normal and boring, right? “Did you have fun today? Because I had lots of fun. I did so much danc--uh, taxes. I did so much taxes. Many taxes? What’s the right word?” She snapped her fingers, tongue out, trying to think. She spent so much time trying to think through her fog that she almost missed Moira pawing at her. “Mushroom!” She scooped the cat up, “you’re always naked, did you know that? What’s that like?” The cat squirmed free and Deirdre watched her leave without question. Something was wrong, but she couldn’t put her finger on it, and she almost didn’t care to.

Morgan continued to stare at the woman in her kitchen. The longer she stared, the more her vision went blurry and she could see the other version of this night spliced somewhere near the corner of her eye: the one where she and Deirdre were already kissing, where Morgan was prattling on about this lesson she’d cooked up for the fall semester and showing off the Samhain coronet she had started, placing it on her head with a kiss and taking too many pictures. Morgan watched the scene play out in her head while she waited for the woman in her kitchen to move, do something even approximate to what Deirdre would do. But it was just ‘taxes’ and ‘fun’, like she didn’t even know what it was that made Deirdre interesting or wonderful. But there she sat. At least Moira had the sense to slink off. “I had a nice day, yeah,” Morgan mumbled. Had. “You can tell me the truth, you know. You don’t have to keep saying ‘taxes’.” She added, taking one of the plates she’d set out and arranging the meal as nicely as she had the strength to. Fetched the flatware and the nice napkins and set it all down before the woman. Her smile was so bright, so much like the one Morgan wanted to see, she looked away and crossed the kitchen to busy herself with the sink. Deirdre wasn’t going to be able to do them tonight, so she might as well.

“I’m not lying! I never lie,” Deirdre’s stomach protested at her assertion, and her will to hide these reactions diminished with the hold the mushrooms dug into her. She stared at her food, stabbing it with her fork and reenacting the screams she imagined the vegetables were making quietly to herself. In reality, she wasn’t hungry, but she knew that boring people ate food. Then Morgan stepped around her and towards the sink, and Deirdre felt unsettled with something that ate at her core. She picked up her food and utensils, setting them aside on the counter. “I do that,” she said, watching Morgan with the dishes. “I do those.” She could remember just that much about it, motivations eluding her. She continued to stare; Morgan’s shape was vaguely like a mushroom. If those parts there were cut off, and her hair was fluffier, and if she was sticking out of the ground instead of in the middle of a cold and uncaring kitchen. She needed grass, Deirdre knew she’d be just right in the forest, among the flowers and mushrooms. “Are you mad at me?” She asked after a moment, picking at the t-shirt she stole off another party goer. “But I’m being boring for you. You like that, right? I’m doing what you want.”

“Yeah, I just um…” Morgan winced and went stiff over the sink. “I figured you wouldn’t be up to it tonight.” You know, because your soul got sacrificed to the mushroom gods and now I’m dealing with your toddler mushroom shadow self. She turned up the water and started scrubbing. It wasn’t loud enough to drown out the sound of the woman’s questions, but Morgan wished it was. Was she mad? It wasn’t like Deirdre could fully control herself even around the scent of these godforsaken mushrooms. They ruined her mood, her train of thought, even without being near them. “I’m not mad,” she rasped. “I um…” She grimaced, head bowed, and did her damnedest to smother the tears in her throat. “...Deirdre’s not boring. She is anything but boring and you should know that. And I can’t have what I want right now, so I think the next best thing is for you to just be yourself. Does that sound okay? ...Babe?”

“But that’s my job!” Deirdre raised her foot to stop down, hovering in the air as her tantrum died just as quick as it came. Instead, she watched her toes, wiggling them around, giggling as they moved so strange. Those were the very same toes that danced between blades of grass and weaved over gnomes and around leprechauns. Now they were wiggling in the air where she held them. She stopped listening to what Morgan was saying, choosing to hop around on her foot. The mushroom fog around her didn’t care much about love or relationships, it demanded fun and what was the most fun to her now was hopping. Until it very quickly wasn’t and then she searched their kitchen for other ways to entertain herself. “She is,” Deirdre responded coldly, inexplicably harsh. “She’s so whiny and stupid. Like a little baby. She cried so much before the ring, like she didn’t know how good it was. But that’s not me. This is me.” And this Deirdre wanted fun, or else she was going to go create some for herself. It was then she noticed a curious trinket against their clean marble counters. She picked it up and turned it over in her hands, eying the delicate bone work but not for the sake of appreciation, but to try and see if any of them might be shaped like a mushroom. None were. “What’s this?” She asked, but she had already put it on her head.  

Morgan dropped the dish she was holding. “She what?” But Morgan had heard the woman just fine. Deirdre had cried, fighting, because this wasn’t who she was or what she wanted to be, because this wasn’t what their life was supposed to be like, and because she did care about Morgan more than the fucking mushrooms that hijacked her brain and-- “Did someone make her get in? Was she forced?” Morgan turned around, clinging to the thought of Deirdre’s last lucid moments as if she could rewrite it into something different if she had enough details. “The real Deirdre is wonderful,” she said, voice hiccuping. “Of course you don’t understand-- no! Put that down!” Morgan ran for the bone crown and jumped to take it back. “It’s not done, it’s fragile, just put it down!”

“Yeah, she was all like ‘no please, I don’t want to go! I’m Deirdre and I’m a loser’ or, you know, whatever.” Deirdre spoke with indifference, running her fingers along the counter. She had just begun to drum them to a beat that’d been stuck in her head when she caught Morgan lunging at her and easily sidestepped with a giggle. That was it. That was the fun she had been looking for. “Aw! Look at your face! You look so scared it’s cute!” She laughed, light on her feet as she danced around. “If you want it,” her mouth cracked up into a challenging smirk, “you’ll have to chase me for it.” And that was exactly what she wanted, ducking around furniture and laughing all the while. She wanted a game, and she was going to make Morgan play one with her. “Come on,” she teased, taking the garment off to wave it around in the air. “Here, zombie. Here! Here!”

“No! No games!” Morgan cried, jumping for the crown again. “You give it back to me right now! I swear to the fucking stars--” Morgan didn’t finish that dangerous statement, but growled, teeth bared with frustration. “What the hell do you want? It’s not done, it’s not even for you!” Morgan clambered up the couch and launched herself from it in her chase.

“But you love games!” Deirdre laughed, swaying to soundless music. Morgan was angry, and that was suddenly very funny to her. The mushrooms told her all about the importance of mischief, and all she’d wanted in the moment was to share in it with Morgan. “But it’s mine now! So it’s all for m--” She hadn’t been expecting Morgan to come at her so quickly, and Deirdre spun in surprise, the piece slipping from her grip. Yet, even in her state, she could tell that was bad. She lunged at it, too clumsy with her movements to hold it properly in her hands again as it bounced between her fingers and palms as she scrambled to catch it. Eventually it settled in her grip, teetering dangerously just above the ground. “Oh,” she laughed, “that could have been bad! We don’t want to break this so soon, right, Morgshroom?”

Morgan stumbled to a halt when she saw the crown topple. For a flaming second, it did not matter what face the woman in front of her wore, she would snap her wrist wrestling the crown away if it came down to it. And she laughed, delighted, threatening, and careless. Morgan slumped where she stood. “Tell me something you want instead.” she said, eyes fixed on the spot where the crown had almost shattered. She could see the world splitting open again, the one where it cracked and broke, the one where she let her temper consume her and hurt what was left of the woman she loved, the one where they were having dinner in the great room with Moira begging for scraps between them. And here, this nothing space, with the woman Deirdre had been turned into laughing at her. Morgan grit her teeth. “Maybe, if I like it, hypothetically, you could get a deal.”

Deirdre considered this, tapping her chin and waving the crown around in her pinched fingers. She liked deals, and this game of chase was quickly becoming boring to her. “But you won’t marry me,” she said, mulling it over. She knew this because she asked last time, and Morgan wouldn’t do it. She knew this because something inside of her said it was true. It was the same something that was begging her to stop, but that she would not listen to because it was the part that was boring and that kept her away from the mushrooms in the first place. She wanted mischief and mayhem, not whatever idyllic domestic scene normally played out between her and Morgan. “Hm.” Deirdre looked at the crown, tapping it with her fingers and flicking the more delicate parts to test its resistance to her force. Then the world faded away and it was just her and this crown and its alluring fragility. She could snap it. She thought about that. She pressed it into her palm, hearing it splinter for her. She could throw it to the ground. She thought about that too, waving it around in the air again to test its weight. Now, suddenly, she was interested in a different game. “What would you do if I broke this?” She asked.

Morgan clenched her fists as her temper flared inside her again. Horrible things she could not do because Deirdre was going to come back into this body, with the body’s memories, and Deirdre hadn’t wanted to leave her in the first place. Morgan breathed through her teeth forcing them aside and trying to think of something better. “Well, I wouldn’t entertain any more of this nonsense, for a start.” Her voice ground out the word with all the others she wanted to say in its stead. “You want to lose the rest of your ‘fun’ here? Is that it?” Morgan trembled; she was no good at this and she knew it. “Just give it back to me. I’ll consider doing something else you want, just give it back.” She held out her hand. “Please.”

Deirdre watched Morgan with a callous gaze. Somewhere inside of her, she was begging too. But this wasn’t like the mushrooms before, these ones were angry. They wanted to create pain just as badly as they wanted pleasure. For a moment, annoyed that Morgan would stop her from having fun, she had to remind herself that she could find her games elsewhere. After all, she still wanted to see Morgan happy. “Why date a fae if you’ll reject the mushrooms so cruelly? This is very important to me.” Deirdre stepped closer, gripping the crown tight--sure enough that if Morgan tried to snatch it back, it would snap in twain. “This is very important to the culture. The mushrooms are like...whatever you humans do. I don’t know. I do know that you’re being really mean right now.” If she had enough sense, she’d realize how ironic she sounded. Deirdre stepped closer again. “I just want some fun, Morgshroom. That’s all. I want us to have fun. I love you and I want that.”

“Deirdre said she didn’t like the mushrooms,” Morgan whispered. “And you said she didn’t want this to happen to her. It can’t be that important...you can’t say it's more important than, what, being her whole self? A sense of sanity?” She shrugged helplessly. “I’m not even human, thanks. And I guess I just...yeah. Fine. I didn’t expect to see you tonight and maybe I was dumb enough to hope that I wouldn’t have to see you again at all. Fuck me. I’m a horrible, stupid person.” She folded her arms over herself and finally forced herself to look up into the woman’s eyes. She cringed inwardly at the mention of love coming from her but made herself ask the question even as her voice cracked and choked. “What...kind of...fun?”

“Oh, I mean, you’re practically human,” Deirdre shrugged right back, slumping as Morgan continued. “Stop. Don’t say that.” Her voice turned sharp. “Don’t say that about yourself.” And then it eroded away into urgent gentleness. “Please don’t say that. You’re not dumb. You’re not horrible. I love you. Don’t say that.” The mushrooms wanted mischief, they wanted malice, they wanted--- “Please?” Deirdre slipped the crown on to her head---for safekeeping---and leaned in to peck Morgan on hers. “Look! We’ll play a different game! Don’t be sad!” She gripped Morgan’s cheeks and pinched them as hard as she could, forcing her mouth up into a smile. “Lookie! We’ll have so much fun!” Then she took a large, sweeping step backwards and pulled the crown off her head. “Let’s play catch!” And then, with as much warning as she didn’t think to muster, she threw the garment into the air--more or less in Morgan’s direction, but her sense of space was warped.

Morgan’s tears fell past whatever self control she had left as the woman’s voice turned gentle. It was the kind of voice Deirdre would use, the kind of urging she would give to her if she was desperate enough when Morgan was down in her pit. Morgan couldn’t help but scrutinize her face with uncanny wonder. She knew the truth, that it was hopeless until the mushroom drug wore off, that she was kidding herself if she thought the woman she missed could surface for a moment to comfort her. And yet-- The woman’s fingers pinched her skin and Morgan shrank away. It was just a fucking coincidence, and she was just really fucking sad.

And  then the crown was flying in the air. “No!” Morgan ran backwards, tripping over her feet to get to it in time. The bone coronet grazed her fingers and she fumbled it into her grasp as she hit the floor, closing her eyes with a moment's relief when its full, unbroken weight settled against her chest. The prototype was fine and, eventually, she would be too.

Deirdre hated watching people cry. It made her chest tight and something in her stomach flip uncomfortably. Watching Morgan cry though, was far worse. She ached with every piece of herself and she didn’t know why. Now she was desperate to show her a good time. She had to. Morgan needed to be happy, this was as universal a truth as ‘mushroom good’ and ‘nudity also good’. “Good catch!” She jumped up and clapped, then began gesturing for her to throw it back. “Now me!”

Morgan got to her feet, slowly and painfully, even with her body’s invulnerability. “No,” she grumbled. “Something else, okay? I’m going to put this somewhere safe. When I’m done we can toss other fragile or sharp things around the house even if it is a health hazard.” She went to the safe behind the painting and climbed onto the chair beneath it so she could reach without straining herself. “Or maybe hide and seek, if you go find somewhere to be...now?” She prompted, gesturing with the crown for her to run along. She wasn’t keen on the mushroom woman having a clue about where the precious things in the house were, even if they were just letters and one sad, stupid bone piece.  

But among watching people cry, watching them refuse to play was also gut wrenching to Deirdre, though in a much different way. It wasn't a profound sadness that claimed her, but a complex anger. And then she watched Morgan move towards her safe. "That's where I keep my stuff," she said, as if trying to recall it for herself. "I have to keep it there so no one can find it." She moved towards the zombie. That safe carried her most delicate treasure; the torn and burnt letter Morgan had written her. The letter was too frail to be rustled around, even when Deirdre came back to her safe every so often to re-read the letters. "The last time someone found out about it, they hurt me." And she watched Morgan, with great disregard to Deirdre's tiny treasures, think about opening her safe without double-checking anyone was watching, without seeing if there were tiny cameras fitting into the bone of her crown. Did she just want it there to hurt Deirdre again? Logic and reason came to Deirdre strangely now, and she considered that even someone who loved her like Morgan was subject to harming her. "No!" And so she lunged, gripping the other half of the crown. "You don't get to go in there! That's mine! Why can't we have fun?"

“Someone hurt Deirdre, I know,” Morgan said soberly. “But I am not her mother. And I am only interested in keeping this safe until the real Deirdre comes back.” She waited for something to sink in, for the woman to get distracted by something shiny. She had only just come back from the mushrooms, she couldn’t possibly remember the combination. If Morgan could just slip the crown in fast enough. “Hey!” Morgan tugged back. “Deirdre gave me the code, she knows I have a right to be there!” She pulled again, with both hands now to support the fragile piece. “Please, just let me put it away. We can do something else, I’ll do something else with you! I’ll do it!”

"I am Deirdre!" She screeched, cracking what few glass valuables Deirdre trusted to keep around them. "Why do you keep saying it like I'm not! That's me! You just don't like me, do you? You don't like fun! You're a human!" The word dribbled out of her with venom and pain. She didn't quite understand it, she didn't understand much like this, but all she could see was a woman who was supposed to love her, hurting her. "You don't have any right! Those are my things! Morgan gave me those! And if you can say I'm not Deirdre, then I can say you're not Morgan!" And for all this mushroom addled Deirdre knew, it could have been some very convincing clone she was talking to. That would explain why Morgan was being so mean to her. She wasn't even this mean last time. "It's like you care about this crown thing more than me," she sobbed, then tugged. She could break it. Deirdre thought about that until it twisted itself into an intoxicating prospect. Breaking things was fun, right? And yet, her body resisted the action. She gripped the piece tighter, using both her hands. Now if either of them tugged too hard, the thing would shatter. "You're being very disrespectful to the mushrooms right now and they don't deserve that. They think I'm the real Deirdre. They would never do this to me. They're kind and inviting and if you'd stop being such a meanie for two seconds and come with me to a fairy ring then you'd know—but no, you want to be a real H-word instead."

Morgan went stiff as tiny cracks ripped throughout the room. Her eyes flickered around the room, assessing the damage. The bone skeleton had a shiny new skull fracture, the snowglobe she’d commissioned from Nic was too far away to show any obvious damage, but not leaking was a good sign. “Sshh! You don’t have to do that,” she whispered. She let go and climbed down from the chair, backing away, her hands raised in surrender. “Look, it’s yours now, okay? You have it. And we c-can...do something. Fun.” None of her words were especially convincing. Her insides were coiled up with fear that the woman would destroy their home if she was upset enough, her eyes were stinging as she called her a human, a distinction she was growing to resent even before she said the word like it was the worst thing she could think of. But Morgan tried to force her mouth into a smile, an effort that only lasted for a second and felt morbidly inappropropriate, and hoped for the best.

Finally, Deirdre had it. She raised the crown to imagined fanfare, dancing around the great room and singing an ode to mushrooms in Gaelic (that went more or less "mushrooms are great, mushrooms are good"). Yet, Morgan didn't seem as happy. Deirdre watched her, halting her steps. And then, dancing around with the crown didn't seem all so interesting anymore. She glanced at its design work, delicate but obviously hand-made. It was unremarkable, because it didn't have any mushrooms. The only thing she could think to call it was junk. Why would Morgan be lugging a piece of junk around? If Deirdre had enough sense to think on it, she might have figured it out, but she didn't. "You know what, Morgshroom?" She glanced up, letting silence consume the room. The clock's incessant ticking remained the only relic of the passage of time between them. "I think I'm bored now." And she tossed the crown behind her, shattering it against the hardwood. She skipped merrily away from the scene, looking for the next grand mushroomless venture the two could partake in (she just had so much trouble thinking about ways to have fun with the mushroom-phobic Morgan).

All the sense of time and probability Morgan had lacked when the woman first came home caught up to her now, two late. It was only five seconds of silence and in that time, Morgan felt it with the same crushing certainty she’d felt her mother’s punishments. There was nothing to do, no one to call for help. She closed her eyes before the woman even threw the crown to the ground. She did not open them again until the snap of it shattering had stopped echoing in her head. The woman was long gone by then. She could pick up  all the separated vertebrae and the snapped ribs and crushed flower buds in her own good time, pausing to stare and cry as much as she needed before taking the mess she’d cradled into her skirt and creeping upstairs to hide.

Finding cans of paint in the garage, Deirdre skipped back into the great room; idea in mind. "Morgshroom!" She called out, dropping the cans of paint to the floor. "I finally figured out how we can have fun!" But she got no response. She looked around the room, trying to find the woman. When she couldn't, she started looking under furniture and out the windows. "Morgan?" She lifted the table, wondering if she was there. She turned to the kitchen, opening up cabinets and drawers. "Morgan?" She crawled up the stairs, searching around corners and cracks. Finally, Deirdre started to grow concerned. Her concern created a moment of clarity, a moment she used to bring herself to their bedroom, hovering awkwardly at the door. "Morgan?" She asked the trembling figure on their bed. "Are you okay?"

Morgan had just enough energy to arrange the pillows in a vaguely Deirdre-body length and shape before crawling onto it, draping her arm around the middle and imagining that she was being held and comforted. It was a level of pathetic desperation she hadn’t reached in a long time, and her stomach twisted with guilt as she reminded herself this was just for a week. A week. Seven days, starting now, if she could pull herself together and stop sobbing like some little girl who’d had her dolly or her car keys taken away she could handle this. Seven days wasn’t that long at all, especially in the grand scheme of things. And it wasn’t like Morgan was still having nightmares. She didn’t need to be talked down from the ensuing panic attacks or distracted from her nerves. If this had to happen, why not now? Morgan continued to think, trying to rationalize herself out of her tears, but sobs continued to bubble up from her chest. No amount of fist clenching or logical thinking could distract her body enough to forget that Deirdre wasn’t here, and would not return no matter how she begged the stars until the mushroom toxins were out of her. The ground had vanished beneath her again and like a child who refused to listen, Morgan could never grasp that this was the true way of things.

She whimpered at the sound of the woman in the doorway and tried to wipe her face clean without getting up. “I’m….I’m fine,” she squeaked, her throat still soaked with tears. “I’m sorry.”

Morgan was in distress, and though Deirdre could only attribute this to her mushroom-hate, her desire to soothe her was no less strong. She inched closer to the bed. “Am I bad?” She asked, wondering for a moment if Morgan’s agony was her fault. No, she reminded herself, this was just what people who didn’t accept the mushrooms looked like. But that didn’t matter, all that mattered to her then was getting Morgan to stop crying. She sat at the edge of the bed, staring at their carpeting, lost in the pattern of the weaving. “Did I hurt you?” She looked to Morgan for the answer, then decided if she was crying, that was confirmation enough. Deirdre crawled beside her, slowly wrapping her arms around her quivering form. “Don’t be sorry. The mushrooms don’t like apologies anyway, not from you. You don’t have to.” Distantly, she remembered that Morgan liked a tight hold, and she pressed harder around her. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Morgan’s body broke open with another sob as the woman wrapped her arms around her. It was everything she wanted and it was all wrong. If Deirdre were really here, she wouldn’t be crying in the first place and there would hardly be a need for questions. But Morgan was so tired inside and in the dark, with that familiar voice gentle and reaching for her heart as it grazed her ear, she didn’t have the strength to push her away. Morgan clamped her arms over the woman’s and pawed around for her hand until she could lock their fingers together tight. She pulled the woman harder against her curling then both up like nested shells. Their bodies fit like they always had; Morgan could even hear the slow drum of the woman’s heart. “I know you’re just here. I know you didn’t do anything besides just be here. It's not your fault, but we— I was going to surprise you. We were going to be happy, and you didn’t even come home.” She swallowed down another sob, shivering. She brought one of the woman’s hands to her face and kissed her palm, squeezing it as tight as she dared. “I was awful, I know I was being awful, but I just want you back. Please come back to me...”

Deirdre opened her mouth to explain again that she was here, that she was home and that she didn’t understand what Morgan was crying about. She felt like a child again, holding up Danny’s dead lost dog and asking him why he was so mad at her about it. But she didn’t have the mushrooms then; the mushrooms made everything clear. And they would do the same for Morgan too. “Morgshroom...can you do something for me?” She asked softly, “take a bath. Really hot, like you like to. Then come down.” With the mushroom’s help, she would set this right. All she needed was some time. “Use bubbly soap, because you can kind of shape that into a mushroom and I know looking at some mushrooms will calm you down. It calms everyone down.” She squeezed Morgan tighter. “Okay? Can you do that, my shroom? My lovely fungus?”  

Of course it had been stupid to speak to the woman as if she was really Deirdre, but it had almost been like relief for Morgan, with the pressure of her body just right and their forms twisted around each other in the way they’d memorized. Even the suggestion of a bath wasn’t a bad one. The real Deirdre would get in with her and they would soak and read the poetry book they kept by the tub if they weren’t up to other means of passing the intimate time together. But that didn’t make it a bad idea. A little burn on her skin, a few minutes submerged head to foot with everything wet and quiet… When nothing else helped, the water was always ready to hold Morgan until she was ready to surface again. Morgan deflated, releasing her hold on the last trickle of tears she was holding in. “Okay,” Morgan whispered faintly, relaxing her grip and turning around to huddle against the woman’s body. “Okay. I can try to do that.”

Deirdre had been occupied with picking Morgan’s tears with her fingers and trying to paint mushrooms on to their sheets with it when she heard her agree. “Huh?” She perked up with confusion, forgetting the suggestion she put forth. “Oh, right! Okay, so you go do that.” Deirdre picked Morgan up, running her to their bathroom with urgency--the more time she spent carrying Morgan, the less time she would have to prepare for the mushrooms. She dropped her carefully into their ornate tub, pressing a kiss to her forehead before she skipped away with the same speed she’d come in with. The mushrooms would solve this. The mushrooms would make Morgan happy.

Time was a strange construct, Deirdre wasn’t sure how much of it she’d spent pushing furniture around into a circle (it had to be a ring), painting red mushrooms on the walls (there had to be mushrooms), lighting candles and setting the right music to play after much fumbling with a speaker she didn’t know how to use (all equally important to what needed to be done). She could not bring Morgan to the fairy ring, but she could bring the fairy ring to Morgan. She would not go so far as to pluck mushrooms from their homes to supply in her mission, but she pulled from their garden to weave Morgan a flower crown better than the dumb one she seemed so obsessed with. And while it lacked the intricate bone work, Deirdre took one of her raven skulls and affixed it to the front. Good enough, she thought, and certainly better than the other thing. At least it was to her mushroom brain. Deirdre had even gone so far as to change into one of her old dresses from Ireland, a piece meant for the traditional summer celebrations, now worn to keep a modesty she didn’t exactly care about, but hoped Morgan, in all her foolish mushroom hating, would enjoy. Now all that was left to do was spin around their great room, moving in tune with the gentle music and watching as the light fabric of her dress swished around. It was all the glory of a fairy ring without the fairy ring part, which wasn’t all the glorious. But it would be enough.

Morgan stayed in the tub for over an hour, until the last sensation of the water’s heat faded and she’d worked her soap and bubbles down to the quick. Nothing had changed, but she at least felt like herself enough to come downstairs in her pajama shorts and shirt. There was nothing left to ruin and she could start on a new prototype tomorrow. She could talk to the woman and indulge her for a little while in the evening without biting her head off or falling to pieces. “Hey…” She called softly. “I’m all scrubbed clean if you wanted to negotiate doing—oh, stars above.”

The mushroom paintings were hideous, but strangely they were the least striking image in the whole room. There was the furniture for one thing, rearranged and piled into a giant circle. Then the candles, strewn around so thickly, Morgan was reminded of the romantic paintings she’d ogled as a girl. And the woman, dressed in gauze and summer, beaming and excited by the playlist she’d started from Morgan’s digital library. It was even playing her favorite song. Morgan swept her eyes over one more time, trying to catch it all and make sense of it. It wasn’t their home, their room, but there was something careful in it, even beautiful.  “I don’t understand,” she said, looking to the woman for answers as she came closer. “What’s all this…?”

Deirdre spotted Morgan, flashing her a brilliant smile as she paused her dancing. “Come,” she urged her, giggling as she approached. She placed the flower crown atop her head quickly, eager to begin with their makeshift fairy ring night. “Wait--wait. I wrote this down.” Deirdre glanced at the smudged writing on her hands, having prepared a good speech while she waited patiently. “Dear Morgshroom, I know you are---” But the writing was sloppy and, with all her dancing and furniture rearranging, very smeared. “---’dad’. But I think you’re very ‘birdful’. Anyways, here’s mushrooms. Love, ‘Doobie’.” Deirdre grinned, her--clearly very romantic--speech over. “I made you a fairy ring!” She exclaimed, explaining herself finally. “It’s not as good, and we can’t get married here, but I know it’ll make you feel better.” She grew very nervous suddenly, unable to find the same excitement about her plans. “Do you not like it?”

Morgan didn’t have any tears left in her, even for sentiment’s sake, but watching the woman take up a thoughtfully written letter for her and recite it surrounded by candlelight made her ache even in the harshest parts of her spirit. All of this was for her. The composition of the circle, the music, even the woman’s dress. And it was all so...very Deirdre, in a rudimentary way. Morgan couldn’t help but come closer to her, looking for an explanation hidden behind her eyes or in the lines of her palm.

“I like it fine. It’s lovely, even,” she said. But that wasn’t what she wanted to talk about. There was something uncanny even in the woman’s smile, familiar, frightening, and irresistible.  “Are you—” She reached out for the woman’s face, her fingers glossing over the air just above. “Are you really in there somewhere, Deirdre?” Morgan stepped closer, awed and afraid by either answer, by the hope rising in her throat. “Did you...remember us, when you did this?”

Well, at least Morgan wasn’t crying. That was all Deirdre could’ve wanted really. It wasn’t the excitement she was expecting, or the convincing she thought would push Morgan into agreeing to come to the mushrooms---but it was good. “Hm?” Deirdre smiled, breaching the space that Morgan was afraid to. She closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around Morgan’s waist. “We can dance slowly, if you want. It’s better like this sometimes. Not so much for real fairy rings, because that’s boring, but for this one that’s okay.” The music was a little too jovial for their swaying, but Deirdre hummed her own slow tune instead. “I’m always in here,” she said, looking at Morgan curiously. “I don’t get what you mean when you say that. I’m always me, except sometimes I’m the boring me. And I always remember us. That’s why I want you to marry me.” But she paused for a moment, deeply considering what Morgan was saying. “But it’s only a week, my heart. And then it’ll be better. Will you wait for me?” The moment was gone just and quick as it’d come and Deirdre began tugging at Morgan’s shirt, petulant but far from demanding. “Oh! You’re supposed to be naked! That’s what makes it a good fairy ring.”

The woman moved into her arms and suddenly Morgan’s hands were grazing her cheek on accident and her arms were around her shoulders and under the musk of the woods she could smell Deirdre, earthy, crisp, and sweet as a cherry tree. Fainter now, like the scent was hiding in a shallow grave. “I’d like a slow dance kind of fairy ring, yeah,” Morgan murmured, stepping closer and settling into the private rhythm the woman was setting for them. She smirked in spite of herself as the song changed and a slower one she cherished almost fit their secret dance perfectly. Some things fit even when they shouldn’t, like their bodies, with so many inches between their height it annoyed Morgan some days. But she could rest her head so easily against her chest and hear that low heartbeat that lulled her into calm during the night.

“You’re different right now…” Morgan whispered. “You’re so different you don’t even like who you usually are, and that’s my favorite person…” She gave the woman’s body a squeeze. The closer they were, the more easily she could trick herself into believing everything would be alright. “But you’re really...you’re a little here, Deirdre?” She spoke her name as a supplication unto itself and pressed her lips to her shoulder, waiting out the silence as the woman thought. “Oh, my love, my pulse…” She nodded fervently; rising on her tiptoes to whisper in her ear. “I’ll wait for you. I love you. Please... oh!” She stumbled onto Deirdre’s foot, thrown off course as she pulled on her. “Right. Um...for you, for our ring, I guess I go topless, at least. But you’re wearing a dress, I’d like to add, even if I can practically see through it.” She pulled off her shirt in one fluid movement and offered a smile, small and tentative but no less sincere as she kept her eyes on this other Deirdre, still searching, reaching for the parts she knew.

“I never like who I usually am. Except for this me; this me is always happy.” Deirdre commented absently. The mushrooms did not allow for pain or question, with them, a simple life was always guaranteed. For so long, it was her only way to connect with the fae who would otherwise shun her for her flatback. But she couldn’t explain any of this to Morgan, any of how important the rings were to the fae, she didn’t like them. And if she’d already decided to hate, then there was no point to argue. Besides, Deirdre didn’t much like wasting her time on anything that wasn’t being naked or dancing. “Well that’s just because there’s supposed to be other layers under it, but I didn’t want to wear them--obvs.” But she delighted in the sight of Morgan’s top coming off, not only because the naked sight of Morgan always delighted her, but because nudity was the way of the fae. “Yay! Boobs!” She scrambled to take her dress off, pulling and kicking it off until she was fully nude. “Now the party can start!” She reached for Morgan again, pulling her close until the were flush together. The best way to enjoy nudity was together, that as something the mushrooms had told her once. But more so, it was something she knew to be true because of Morgan, and how happy she made her feel. She was like her own fairy ring; she didn’t need to be a mushroom to set Deirdre’s heart aglow. “I’m always here,” she whispered, before losing her train of thought to how happy she felt. “You’re magic, you know that? You like a real mushroom, and just almost as pretty as one. I wish you liked the rings more, because I want to show you what’s so wonderful about them, but I can take this for now.”  

Morgan pressed a chain of kisses around the Mushroom Deirdre’s neck, weaving her way upward to her jaw. She wasn’t sure how fae it was of her, but the skin under her lips was so familiar, it made Mushroom Deirdre’s whisper sink and settle inside her. “Give me a week, babe,” she said. “Stay with me a week and then we’ll see. Wait with me til then.”

[thermtiker]

New TTS Base Operator Bios

saw some pictures of them floating around, but I like text and I literally spent about nine hours copying all of these so here they are, enjoy them under the cut they’re in order of CTU, then what order they come in in that CTU (attackers -> defenders)

(i know this isnt our usual content, so check tags if youre curious about comic statuses)

Sledge

Background:

“Coming through!”

Born in the far north of Scotland, Cowden’s military father and nurse mother moved to Inverness with him and his three siblings when he was five. His athleticism elevated him to the position of Captain of the 1998 Scotland Under-20s Rugby Union Team. Following a long family tradition of military service, Cowden joined the 3rd UK Mechanised Division of the British Army. His drive and physique suit the division’s historical nickname of “Iron Sides.” Cowden’s first assignment was in the Armoured Division where he studied engineering and specialized in upgrading the infantry combat vehicles. From there, he developed various breaching tactics. He was then recruited into the SAS, where he holds multiple record s in speed and strength. An expert in mechanical, ballistic, explosive and thermal breaching strategies, Cowden is the operator to choose for quick and relatively silent destruction.

Psychological Report:

It’s part of my job to understand where the country shapes the person and Specialist Seamus “Sledge” Cowden seems indelibly shaped by the rugged terrain where he was born. It isn’t just his imposing presence and athleticism. I can’t help but feel that his personality evokes the wilderness as well. He’s stoic and proud, though admits that he can be hot-headed at times. Field reports describe his courage, leadership, and extensive operational experience as much as they mention his unpredictability. He’s much more than a “gentle giant” as some suggest. [...]

Cowden is something of a raconteur, and for much of our discussion he told me one rowdy tale after another. When he was twelve he cobbled a hang glider together out of boat sails and launched himself off his house. He broke both ankles. During military training, he accidentally collapsed his entire sleeping barrack while testing a new breaching technique, and another time he sank a captain’s motorcycle by riding it off the pier because he wanted to see how far it would travel on the surface - not very far, I gather. His stories aren’t just to entertain. They help to establish a comfortable connection. It’s such a casual, offhand leadership style. [...]

Cowden views his fellow operators as family, Specialist Mike “thatcher” Baker in particular, who he credits for convincing him to switch to the Caber. Numerous Rainbow operators refer to Sledge as one of the easiest operators to work with. [...]

Overall, Cowden is easy-going and unpretentious , though he gets ruffled at the mention of politics. A self-proclaimed news junkie, he doesn’t shy away from debates. In fact, it’s the reason he joined the military, and why one of his brothers is currently an elected MP. Cowden understands that while on the assignment Rainbow operators don’t voice their political opinions and so far there hasn’t been any issue. We should trust that he can control his hot-headedness. At least before he’s down at the pub.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

British Army: 1st (UK) Armoured Division

HND in Automotive Engineering

22nd Engineer Regiment RE

Relevant Experience:

British Army: 3rd (UK) Mechanised Division

Operation Telic

Operation Herrick

Notes:

Device: Tactical Breaching Hammer “the Caber” Operator: Specialist Seamus “Sledge” Cowden

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Seamus “Sledge” Cowden

I’m told you wanted to have a looksee at my Brucie. Why? No offense, Mira, but I don’t need someone mucking about with my Caber, trying to make it look sexier. When Mike’s uncle built it for me (sorry… Specialist bloody Mike “Thatcher” bloody Baker), he damn well made me forge the thing over and over again until we got it right. It’s a solid piece, no forge weld to introduce weak points. It’s made with a differential heat treatment to better transmit the shock of blows along the core and the shaft is covered in fiberglass molded to my handspan for better grip. It’s a solid 4140 steel, built for shock and stress, balanced to prevent it from being too top heavy. I don’t need laser sights to put on the damn thing, and I can promise you that if any of your techies come near Brucie, as the saying goes, “it will kill.”

--Specialist Seamus “Bloody Sledge” Cowden

Thatcher

Background:

“What you can feel, what you can touch - those are the things that are real. Everything else is just a distraction.”

Baker comes from a long line of dockworkers and soldiers. At the age of eighteen he enlisted for active military duty despite family pressure to join the family trade as a stevedore. Immediately thrown in politically-charged conflicts, Baker’s performance was exemplary. Further training and another conflict gave him a Distinguished Flying Cross and Conspicuous Gallantry Cross. His keen sense of observation and decisive manner, combined with his close-quarter combat techniques, made him an invaluable on VIP protection detail.

With extensive field experience and proficiency in SAS tactics, Baker is a critical asset to any Rainbow operation. He has honed his expertise with protective measures and electronic counter-measures and frequently works with engineers to advance the equipment. As a Warrant Officer Class 1 (Regimental Sergeant Major) Baker serves as a respected and effective mentor to new recruits. Baker maintains his agility training, continuing abseiling, and has broken numerous mountain climbing records.

Psychological Report:

Knowing that Specialist Mike “Thatcher” Baker is cynical towards bureaucracy, I wasn’t surprised that he was reluctant to meet me. I needed a different approach. Baker lives aboard the Iron Maggie, a boat in drydock that he repairs in his spare time. It’s his “retirement plan.” I suspect that he moved there temporarily when his wife divorced him, but now he knows no other civilian home. [...]

Baker has a distinguished record of military service. He’s respected and im some cases idolized by those he mentors. When he welcomed me to his home, I could see why people describe him as down-to-earth. There’s more to Baker’s gruff, no-nonsense exterior - it just required some effort for him to trust me. [...]

Raised in a coastal town, Baker has a strong connection with the water. We spent our entire meeting on the deck of his ship, overlooking the cold sea. Being someone who isn’t handy - mastering a paper airplane as a kid was the peak of my craft - I wanted to know what Baker likes about boat building and working with his hands. He told me that besides appreciating the precision of it, he liked shaping the wood into something that has a purpose. I suggesting it was similar to how he mentors recruits. He replied that he doesn’t care about the “why” of things the way us “Uni types” do. [...]

Specialist Seamus “Sledge” Cowden is one of his few close friends. Baker’s tolerance of Specialist Mark “Mute” Chandar surprised me, since Baker is impatient with youthful bluster. When asked, Baker would only say: “Mute’s a clever kid.” He almost sounded envious. I wonder if Mute reflects someone Baker wishes he had been. [...]

While by no means a Luddite, Baker does have an aversion to technology. To him, it’s a tool - like a hammer or screwdriver - nothing more. The idea that people come to rely on it as a crutch is what annoys him. I suggested that he spend time in the engineering lab with Specialists Masaru “Echo” Enatsu and Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon. They have a lot to teach one another.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

British Army: Parachute Regiment

British Army: S.A.S. Bravo Two Zero

British Army: S.A.S. Warrant Officer Class 1 (Regimental Sergeant Major)

Relevant Experience:

Operation Nimrod

Operation Barras

Operation Telic

Operation Lightwater

Operation Ellamy

Notes:

Device: EG MKO-EMP grenade Operator: Specialist Mike “Thatcher” Baker

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Jack “Pulse” Estrada

One of the biggest challenges for a team is Specialist Mike “Thatcher” Baker’s EG MKO-EMP grenade since the electromagnetic surge can disable electronic gadgets within its radius. The EG MKO-EMP disrupts - in some cases it can destroy - quite a few of our devices. It locks up my Cardiac Sensor so it can’t detect another pulse!

The EMP is deceptively simple. It’s the grenade impact that charges the electron particles. That concentrated energy cascades across an area - even through walls - and spikes nearby electronics. Short of wrapping ourselves in a Faraday shield to protect our devices, there isn’t much that we can do against that.

--Pulse

Smoke

Background:

“Sure, I care about the environment. Immediately around me, anyway.”

Though Porter wasn’t an exceptional student, aptitude tests revealed his propensity for sciences. Encouraged by faculty and his parents, he was able to follow a more unorthodox manner of education with tutors, home-schooling, and field science. He flourished in this break from formal classroom studies and quickly developed his skills in chemistry, biology, and math. Uninterested in pursuing a formal university education, Porter forged a fake ID and enlisted in the British Army. Though the rigidity of army rules wasn’t always a good fit, it was offset by the diverse range of training and experiences army life gave him. While he has been reprimanded for breaking rules, his superiors quickly recognized both his innovation and strategic perspective. He was then encouraged to join the SAS. Porter prefers to acquire knowledge and skills, such as language and music, in his own way and does not excel in a formal training capacity. 

Psychological Report:

It’s important for me to not have any preconceived expectations before a face-to-face with any specialist. Since assessments of Specialist James “Smoke” Porter contain some contradictions, I couldn’t have settled into any viewpoint anyway. So essentially he entered my office as somewhat of a mystery. [...]

Porter is consistently described as detached. I reviewed his files and found that his “aloofness” occurs during high-intensity situations. It’s likely not detachment, but focus. I’m reminded of my uncle who used to tap his forehead and tell me to master my mind. Porter, I think, is mastering his mind to stay on task and filter out dangerous distractions. He strives to keep emotions away from decision-making, opting for outlets such as live music events to deplete the tension, thus enabling him to be the person he needs to be on the job. [...]

It’s clear that Porter’s parents encouraged him to be a free spirit and develop his education and personality on his own terms. While it resulted in some unfortunate mishaps - one science experiment left some physical scars but no emotional ones that I can see - there was a great benefit in it. [...] Porter’s free range education helped create a complex, dynamic person who isn’t easily categorized.

Porter is popular among his teammates and considered valuable despite some recklessness. Descriptions such as thrill seeker and fearless seem simplistic to me, however. There’s more nuance to Porter than that. He’s measured and understands calculated risks. Porter - and our other operators = understand that it’s more important to respect fear than try to pretend we never feel it. [...]

Self-taught from an early age, Porter continues to spend time cultivating his own identity. He enjoys acquiring experiences and once he’s mastered them, moves on. The exception is his adopted daughter. He would only share one photo of her. I’ve never seen an infant surrounded by so much paraphernalia, but Porter assures me she is now in high school, excelling within the system he himself was unable to comprehend. Through her, he sees the world in new ways - exactly the kind of challenge he adores.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

British Army

Joint NBC Regiment

Relevant Experience:

Operation Banner

Operation Shader

Notes:

Device: Compound Z8 Grenades

Operator: James “Smoke” Porter

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Liu Tze “Lesion” Long with Specialist James “Smoke” Porter

Controlled tests of the Compound Z8 Grenade required a number of measures including limiting the presence of lab personnel to only the most critical. Strict rules surrounding the PPE disposal (personal protective equipment) and protocols for hazards has to be maintained at all times. Even through the facility is state-of-the-art, additional precautionary measures were required before testing could begin.

The Compound Z8 Grenade mixture’s incapacitating agents are comprised of - [substances are classified and so have been redacted from this document by order of the Director of Research and Development]. As such, the presence of Specialist James Porter and Specialist Liu Tze Long are required at all times, including for any future testing.

First tests were basic data gathering, including the structural integrity and design of the canisters, as well as a deployment timing and range of effect. Evaluation also included a series of tests to measure exposure guidance levels and, where necessary, antidote compounds are being reviewed as well. Data results are still being processed and will be attached when they’re ready.

--Lesion and Smoke

Mute

Background:

“People think my codename is because I don’t like to talk. Maybe I just don’t like you.”

An exceptional and well-rounded student, Chandar was one of the youngest accepted into the University of Cambridge. He majored in electronics and computer engineering, completing an internship at a prestigious tech company where he contributed to the design and function of security system prototypes. His ingenuity caught the attention of Britain’s national security office, the Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ). Having demonstrated acuity in code breaking, Chandar became an intelligence officer within the signals intelligence (SIGINT) unit. He continues to contribute to the applied technical research team and has recently expanded his field of study to include learning Korean.

Psychological Report:

It may not be immediately clear why Specialist mark Chandar’s codename is Mute. While he dislikes small talk, he isn’t particularly reserved and in fact can be brash - a trait that is off-putting to some. Whatever social agitation he experiences, there are some indications that he’s unable to shake it off. I suspect it’s because he’s impatient. He needs to appreciate that there are different approaches to solving a problem. Interestingly, Specialist Mike “Thatcher” Baker seems begrudgingly tolerant of him and has been known to speak up in Chandar’s defense. [...]

Chandar tends to gravitate to certain personalities. In particular, I’ve noticed that he’s been interacting with Specialist Timur “Glaz” Glazkov lately. Because Chandar revels in deconstructing equipment to create something new, I think he’s drawn to abstract thinkers and Glazkov has a similar talent for seeing complex situations in a unique way. [...]

Given his background in information security, Chandar understands secrecy and seems uncomfortably with expressing himself or with personal questions. In his field, and here at Rainbow, information is a critical - life and death - commodity. So of course, I respect this but only up to a limit. I had to find another way in and we managed to find common ground in discussing History, of all things!

For someone so focused on science he surprised me. His hometown of York is one of the most historic cities in England and it’s a city I adore. He described in wonderful detail how he had to pass the Gothic church on his walk to school. He liked to lean back and look up at the bell tower that it made him wobbly. [...] My meeting with Chandar reminded me that we here at Rainbow tend to focus on how our operators excel in the STEM fields, but there is a great value in our operators having passion and interests across a broad spectrum of studies. Chandar demonstrates why he’s much more than someone who is used to being the smartest person in the room. Despite his young age, I’m certain he has something to teach the others.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

University of Cambridge: Bachelor of Science, Engineering; PhD Electrical Engineering

Britain’s Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ): Signals Intelligence Specialist (SIGINT)

S.A.S.: SIGINT Communications and Technology

Relevant Experience:

Tempora

GCHQ Prototype engineer

S.A.S. Prototype engineer

Notes:

Device: “Moni” GC90 Signal Disruptor

Operator: Specialist Mark R. “Mute” Chandar

Evaluation Lead: Chul Kyung “Vigil” Hwa with Specialist Mark R. “Mute” Chandar

Rainbow Director Harishva (Six) Pandey and Research and Development Director Elena (Mira) Álvarez have made these evaluations a top priority. I was asked to review the GC90 Signal Disruptor alongside Specialist Chandar, He’s invested many years researching defense systems and GPS-Reliant Military Systems. Really he’s the expert on the subject.

Specialist Chandar and I put the GC90 “Moni” Signal Disruptor through a number of interior and exterior scenarios. The key focus was to test jamming signal parameters based on several constraints while keeping the devices weight to a minimum.

Regarding the attached evaluation results… Specialists Weiss and Pichon (IQ and Twitch) made repeated requests to review the data because both have devices that are powerful counters to the Moni. I didn’t want to be uncooperative but I wasn’t clear on the protocols. Mute wasn’t granted access to IQ RED MK III results “until Director Álvarez had seen them.” So Mira, I’m leaving it to you to decide.

[Comment_E. Álvarez: That’s fine, Vigil. I’ll handle it from here.]

--Vigil and Mute

Ash

Background:

“You can never truly understand a conflict until you’ve been on both sides.”

Cohen’s mother is a renowned Jewish political activist and professor while her Palestinian father is a professor of Middle Eastern Studies. Cohen was raised in Israel, excelling in Mathematics and Physics. She earned a degree in Structural Engineering at Tel Aviv University and spent a few semesters at Boston University.

Cohen then enlisted in the Isreali Defense Forces (IDF). After undergoing the rigorous twenty-two month training for the elite Air Force unit, Shaldag, she served five years. Skilled in ground and airborne operations, all-weather and all-terrain navigation and reconnaissance, she was invaluable in Operation Orchard. Moving to the US to work with the FBI SWAT, Cohen applied her degree in Engineering and gift in structural resistance to develop advanced demolition tactics and equipment. Along with Hebrew, Cohen is fluent in Arabic, English, French and Greek.

Psychological Report:

I had several meetings with Specialist Eliza “Ash” Cohen before I gave up on convincing her to not see me as a commanding officer. She asked so many probing questions, it was starting to feel as though she were analyzing me. [...]

Cohen isn’t interested in discussing her childhood. There’s resentment toward a judgemental grandmother, but no lasting trauma. Military service acted as an escape from family tensions and appealed to her ordered and focused personality. Cohen added that she appreciates high-risk, high-reward scenarios, but didn’t elaborate on what level of personal risk is acceptable.

Her identity is intertwined with her military training and operations. Extracting anything personal from the tangle is difficult. Cohen is cautious and doesn’t cultivate many close relationships. Her bond with Specialist Miles “Castle” Campbell is therefore important to her - and I would say to the team as well. It’s certainly a good pairing. Campbell’s amenable personality enables Cohen to step out of her comfort zone without feeling self conscious or judged. [...]

Cohen uses other people’s assessments to describe herself: She told me that Specialists Dominic “Bandit” Brunsmeier and James “Smoke” Porter tell her she’s “too serious,” while others describe her as “intense,” and that she enjoys being proven right. So I asked if she thought any of these descriptions were accurate. She told me that she only cares about whether the other operators respect her. I’m confident they do. [...]

On operations, Cohen is exemplary: she thinks fast, and her aggressive style almost always puts her at an advantage. During debriefs, however, I’ve noticed a different kind of focus. The residual stress of combat causes her to dwell on every misstep, perceived or real. Self-evaluation is understandable from someone so highly skilled, but it also has an effect on her team. It’s important to encourage her to process the events as a joint effort and not simply assume the critique alone. Cohen - like all operators - knows there will be situations she can’t prepare for. And yet, she alone allows the stress of the unknown to eat at her. This will need to be addressed.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Tel Aviv University: Bachelor of Science, Engineering

Isreali Air Force

Shaldag

FBI SWAT (JINSA LEEP)

Relevant Experience:

Second Lebanon War

Operation Orchard

Austere Challenge

Notes:

Device: M120 CREM Breaching Rounds

Operator: Specialist Eliza “Ash” Cohen

Evaluation Lead: Dr. Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of R&D

Specialist Eliza “Ash” Cohen was not thrilled when she saw me examining her M120 CREM Breaching Rounds. She paced around me like a leopard stalking prey. I’m the Director, I’m perfectly capable of being professional.

Specialist Cohen is very hands-on and from the start she directed the design and function of the M120 CREM. Up close, I can see that it’s well-designed. What surprised me was how the titanium drill bit is designed like a threaded needle so that it “injects” the detcord into the surface. That explains why the damage zone is so effective.

If there’s another counter besides Jäger’s Active Defense System, I’ll find it. In the meantime one strategy that works pretty well is knowing that Miss KickInTheDoor tends to get caught up in her own hype and rush ahead without enough intel.

My examination of the M120 CREM provided some solid insights, plus it was fun. Ash seemed worried that I might mess with it. I don’t need to flip switches on her gear to win.

--Dr. Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of R&D

Thermite

Background:

“You see a wall, I see an opportunity.”

Trace joined the Corps straight out of high school, making him a fourth-generation Marine. Following his first tour of Iraq, he obtained enough experience to volunteer as an explosive ordnance disposal technician. After his second tour of Iraq, Trace returned to the U.S., enrolled in university, and earned a Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. He brought his experience and skills to the FBI, where he spent a number of years as a field agent within the Hazardous Materials Response Unit. Seeking more dynamic environments, Trace transferred into FBI SWAT, where he excelled at developing new barricade protocols. He then earned a spot in Rainbow where he’s shown further interest in research and development on gadget upgrades. Trace’s hometown of Plano has a major concentration of Chinese Americans, and as such Trave has a conversational level of Mandarin.

Psychological Report:

For someone so disciplined and orderly, Specialist Jordan “Thermite” Trace likes to surprise. He can be a practical joker and he’s always ready with a smart aleck comment. Beneath the surface, however, the recent loss of his sister to cancer, and the death of his mother a few years priors, have made it difficult for him to channel his thoughts and energy with the focus to which he is accustomed. [...] I am concerned that he uses humor to avoid his grief. It’s important he understands that some coping mechanisms can delay the healing process. There are resources that can help him, and I will continue to offer them when and where I may. [...]

Trace demonstrates strong tactical leadership, but can also plow ahead without consensus. I don’t believe there’s any lasting friction with other team members. He’s well-liked by the others and has a solid working relationship with Specialists Yumiko “Hibana” Imagawa, Mike “Thatcher” Baker, and Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon. He can be quite the social-butterfly in his downtime. [...]

A few things to work on: Trace has excellent communication, when he chooses to use it. He’s has good strategies but sometimes tends to “lock in.” I know that he’s capable of being a more agile thinker, so I’ve given him some tips on how to recognize when he’s becoming too… bullheaded. [...]

There’s a lot going on behind his smile. I’d like him to find a way to regulate himself, to find balance for his work and private life. Trace doesn’t show obvious stressors, opting instead to channel any anxious energy into something positive such as the the R&D lab. It has been difficult to convince him that he needs a break from his role and identity as an operator. Shifting his attention to other intense tasks isn’t a solution. [...] I’ve given him some mental relaxation exercises that don’t demand considerable time, but can be tackled throughout the day. Imagawa, in particular, can be a good influence on him since she regularly practices mindfulness techniques to focus and relax. I hope he will take her advice to heart.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

USMC Close Quarters Battle School

USMC Methods of Entry

USMC Helicopter and Rope Suspension Techniques Master Course (HRST)

Texas A&M: Bachelor of Science, Chemistry

FBI Field Agent

FBI SWAT

Relevant Experience:

Two tours of duty in Iraq

Fleet Antiterrorism Security Teams (FAST)

Notes:

Device: Brimstone BC-3 Exothermic Charges

Operators: Specialist Jordan “Thermite” Trace

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Yumiko “Hibana” Imagawa

Thermite’s Brimstone was one of the first devices tested in the lab. It’s the same way he has to be the first through any reinforced walls. Always has to be first. :)

On the day of testing, Specialist Trace was busy developing additional prototypes as he did during Operation Chimera and wasn’t immediately available. Since I’m very familiar with Exothermic BC-3 Charge and have an expertise in explosive ordnance, I volunteered to conduct the evaluation.

Our tests included adjusting the mixture stages to see if we could achieve stronger and more concentrated “melt”. The results helped us clearly determine the chemical reaction times at peak temps. Our tests on the Brimstone BC-2 Exothermic Charge went well and produced some surprising results. Some were enough of a surprise to lure Thermite to join us (that was fun!). We’ve been able to book extra time to apply some of the data to his prototypes. I’ll file another entry as soon as we’re done.

--Yumiko

Castle

Background:

“Listen up, people: No one dies today. Any questions’ll just have to wait.”

Miles Campbell graduated from Cal State LA with a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice and promptly joined the LAPD. Recruited into LAPD SWAT, Campbell excelled in tactical support and high-risk incidents. His careful application of dynamic and deliberate entries made him a Captain early on, while his exceptional perimeter control earned him his first commendation.

Always interested in the safety of his team, Campbell worked tirelessly to perfect defense and reinforcement techniques and equipment. He has earned multiple commendations since his first and is a certified firearms specialist. Transferred to the FBI as a field agent where he trained with the German Federal Police (GSG-9), he was then recruited into the FBI SWAT team. Campbell has participated in cross-departmental training sessions with international law enforcement agencies, including the SAS and GIGN.

Psychological Report:

Within minutes of my first meeting with Specialist Campbell it was like being with an old friend. He has an easy-going manner. We joked over American football and our football - side note: look up the origins of the word “soccer.” I have a 20 quid bet on it. [...]

Reports repeatedly mention that Campbell is referred to as “papa bear” or “the diplomat” among the Rainbow operators. He described how he smoothed over a heated discussion between two operators the other night. It’s clear that he’s the team’s social glue. This, and his openness, means that Campbell can be grouped with any member of Rainbow. I’m not surprised that he’s the one with whom Specialist Eliza “Ash” Cohen feels the most comfortable. [...]

His sense of fair play is clear in both his personal and professional life. I wondered if it was ever a struggle for him, given what he’s seen. Without hesitation he told me: His job is to protect those who can’t protect themselves. Beyond the sense of justice that motivates him, he has a desire to transform things for the better. [...]

Our discussion explored his appreciation of teammates, world cultures, and his love for the abused dogs he’s rescued. Campbells a curious person, someone who enjoys learning for learning’s sake: Habitually staying up late to watch any sort of documentary certainly makes him a kindred spirit for me. He draws his positive energy from his parents, who have been married 42 years and are still madly in love. Along with inheriting their work ethic, it’s their playfulness he tries to emulate. [...]

Campbell is a hopeful person. He believes in the potential of people - all people - and wants to be an agent of change. He’s so concerned for others that he may overlook his own needs. I suspect this is what sparked his recent blow-up after a training exercise. His frustration with himself was evident. One of his strategies hadn’t played out the way he had hoped. Clearly, we need to make sure he gets as much encouragement as he offers to the others.

-Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

California State University, Los Angeles (Cal State LA): Bachelor of Science, Criminal Justice

LAPD: Police Officer, SWAT

FBI: Field Agent, SWAT

Relevant Experience:

GBI New Operator Training School (NOTS)

Multiple cross-departmental training sessions with Federal and International law enforcement including SAS, GIGN and GSG 9

FBI SWAT WMD training

Notes:

Device: UTP1-Universal Tactical Panel

Operator: Specialist Miles “Castle” Campbell

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Miles “Castle” Campbell

Simple and sweet, that’s how I like it. When i first joined Rainbow, the techs started showing me all sorts of contraptions, but I wasn’t going to be someone’s guinea pig. Do you know how many times Bandit complained about getting shocked or Maverick sucked on his fingers because the torch ran too hot? From what I understand, my Universal Panels are unique because they use nucleation, which allows the carbon nanotubes to guide polymers into longer chains. This makes for stronger panels, the kind of toughness that Kevlar can’t approach*. And I’m fine with that. All these nanotubes make for a lighter load. Just rolls them down, nail them into place, and we’re ready to throw down. Better than those heavy-ass deployable shields.

*I had to memorize that part so I could recite it to Specialist Chul Kyung “Vigil” Hwa in Korean.

--Specialist Miles “Castle” Campbell

Pulse

Background:

“The heart is just a motor. Like any machine, it can be fine-tuned.”

Born on Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, Estrada was raised on bases across the US and internationally, in Germany, Turkey, and Japan. His father was a pilot and his mother was a classified Senior Intelligence Officer. Estrada demonstrated acumen for science at an early age and was quickly moved into an advanced curriculum. His focus on Forensic Science and Biochemistry made him a perfect fit for the Biometrics Program with the FBI, which he joined as their youngest intern. He secured his role as an agent and was soon recruited into SWAT, working both in the field and in the FBI Lab. Estrada’s high emotional intelligence led him to join the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) where he excelled in crisis management and negotiation tactics. His knowledge of behavioral biometrics led to the creation of the Cardiac Sensor, along with several other prototypes which he continues to refine.

Psychological Report:

During operations, Specialist Jack “Pulse” Estrada keeps his cool and consistently maintains sound judgement. So to meet someone with such boyish enthusiasm was an entertaining surprise for me. The conversation was a lively circuit of topics from biology, fighter jets, and scuba diving, to something his father builds in his spare time: Muscle cars. I had honestly never heard this term before. It completely baffled me. Estrada had to show me pictures. [...]

We discussed his childhood fascination with biology and chemistry. That he wanted to be an astronaut, and he jokes that he still might be. He’s fascinated with the concept of alien life-forms. Which, upon mentioning it, prompted him to describe his deep-sea diving expeditions with bouncing excitement. [...]

What does make Estrada quiet and contemplative is the mention of his mother. He becomes serious and there’s a wistful tone in his voice. It was his mother who first noticed how good he was at deconstruction micro-expressions. She encouraged free-thinking and let him decide the pace of his academic studies. A naturally private person, her work in military intelligence made her even more so, but because Estrada can so easily read others I think it bothers him that he’s unable to read his mother at all. [...]

Life is a sense of adventure and Estrada is ready to grasp it all. It’s a healthy attitude and I wonder how his upbeat energy affects the group. Estrada told me that he’s working on being more in the moment, “slowing time.” He’s striving to be more mindful. I asked if anyone in particular had encouraged this new point of view, but he avoided the question. [...]

Even under the most extreme conditions, Estrada puts his team first; naturally they all speak highly of him. Estrada says it’s the caliber of his teammates that makes him so dedicated. [...] He and specialist Jordan “Thermite” Trace are close, but there is some professional rivalry between Estrada and Specialist Monika “IQ” Weiss. They seem to enjoy goading one another. I’m not concerned. If anything, it benefits Estrada to be challenged once in a while.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Purdue University: Bachelor of Science, Forensics; Master of Science, Biometrics

FBI Biometrics Intern

FBI Biometrics Operator

FBI SWAT Negotiator

Relevant Experience:

Virginia Task Force 1

International Red Cross and Red Crescent Movement

Watertown operation

Notes:

Device: HB-5 Cardiac Sensor

Operator: Specialist Jack “Pulse” Estrada

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Jack “Pulse” Estrada

Hey, Mira. As per your request, here are the specs for my HB-5 Cardiac Sensor. In a nutshell, the sensor uses microwave radiation to detect heartbeats because microwave radar technology has enough fidelity to distinguish human from animal heartbeats. My device takes it a step further by allowing you to “silence” the heartbeats of friendlies. It still detects them, but doesn’t alert you in order to reduce the noise while information gathering. Now here’s the caveat… I’ce already patented the HB-series and the latest variations that will be sent to various emergency management organizations to help locate survivors at disaster sites. While I’ve used it in hostage situations, the original intent is to help urban search and rescue teams. This is first and foremost a humanitarian tool, and my copyrights will guarantee that.

--Specialist Jack “Pulse” Estrada

Twitch

Background:

“Machine learning and teamwork have one thing in common: Always lead by example.”

Pichon grew up in a family of academics in the historic city of Nancy, France, where the children were encouraged to excel in Math, Science, and Technology. Early participation in sponsored computer programming competitions led her joining the army cadets at sixteen. Almost immediately her talent was recognized, particularly in robotics. Her superiors quickly encouraged Pichon to study engineering while continuing her career in the military. From the start, Pichon’s focus has been on adaptable technology that aids soldiers in the field. While there is much praise for her technological achievements, Pichon’s tactical prowess and ability to problem solve quickly and efficiently make her a crucial operational asset. Pichon’s unique combination of talents made her well-suited for GIGN and, later, Rainbow. She is fluent in French, English, and German and her current research focus is AI.

Psychological Report:

Technologically creative isn’t a term I’ve heard before working with Rainbow. According to Specialist Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon’s field reports, it’s the most concise description for her. Of course, it doesn’t encapsulate all of who she is. There’s more depth and surprises to Pichon than anyone expects. [...]

There is some academic rivalry between Pichon and her sister, a physicist, but nothing serious, she tells me. It’s endemic of the perfection her family instilled in their children. Her father told her to strive to be incredibly every day and that it will resonate out into the universe. [...] The Rainbow team speaks highly of her both operationally and in a social setting. Specialist Gustave “Doc” Kateb, in particular, appreciates her intuition and empathy, while others such as Specialist Olivier “Lion” Flament praise her technological know-how.

I wanted to know how Pichon interprets technological creativity. She said it’s the way she sees things differently and yet remains aware that she’s seeing things differently. So I suppose I would add “philosopher” to her myriad descriptors. [...]

She’s a very hands-on researcher. The manner in which she gets right up close to a robot, interacting with it the way someone would a child or pet, illustrates her innate compassion. Pichon is currently teaching AI empathy so that it can, in turn, teach it to humans. I’d love to delve into this further, and have plants to visit the lab. [...]

Because Pichon’s passion for technology as a way to improve quality of life drives her in research and in her military career, I wonder if she isn’t at times being too idealistic. She’s an excellent operator with many skills to offer besides the tech, and I want to give her more thought to where the human factor is crucial. [...]

Her background and interest in AI means one of Pichon’s favorite pastimes is people watching. Whether it’s settling into a restaurant or taking a bus, she goes wherever there are crowds of people and studies behavior. Travel, too, excites her. The list of where she hasn’t been is shorter than where she has.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Self-trained robotics expert

French Army: 6e Régiment du Génie

Relevant Experience:

Operation Unified Protector

Operation Serval

Operation Barkhane

Notes:

Device: RSD Model 1 - Shock Drone

Operator: Specialist Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon, Project Lead Defense R&D

Let me start by saying how much I appreciate that both Dr. Harry (Six) Pandey and Elena (Mira) María Álvarez, Director of Research and Development, have implemented this evaluation review of all equipment.

I’ve attached a detailed schematic of the current RSD Model 1 (Shock Drone) device. Being able to run the current Shock Drone through controlled tests provided me with much needed additional data. With Elena’s permission, I’ve scheduled further lab time to try some rough prototype ideas.

I’d like permission to add my name to the schedule for evaluation of Specialist Max (Mozzie) Goose’s device known as “Pest”. Because it’s such a powerful counter I’m interested in participating in the tests.

[Comment_E Álvarez: I’ve looked at the schematic with your new modification ideas, and I’m thinking you should get IQ’s (Specialist Monika Weiss) feedback on them. Also, re: Mozzie. There are some issues with the Australian’s availability. If you want to fly there to observe the tests, we can discuss. Mira.]

--Twitch

Montagne

Background:

“Every conflict is an iteration upon the last. Every scar, a victory.” Touré began his career in law enforcement as a uniformed police officer with the National Gendarmerie. They used his imposing form whenever there was a need to show a strong police presence, earning him a spot in the Mobile Gendarmerie where the focus was on crowd control as well as military and counter-terrorism patrol missions. Touré’s push for extensive training provided him with a broad skillset and earned him a position in the GIGN. Though he’s best utilized for his breaching techniques, Touré also has training in combat engineering and reconnaissance. When not deployed with Rainbow, Touré is an instructor at GIGN.

Psychological Report:

Specialist Gilles “Montagne” Touré’s imposing presence, along with his unwavering gaze, is impressive and (as a tactic) I can see how it can be unsettling. He’s a man of few words, even among his friends. I chose to visit him at one of the GIGN Training Centers so that he’d be more comfortable talking. [...] Observing Touré with his trainees gave me a better sense of him. In this capacity he was accessible, fair, and even gregarious. [...]

We started by discussing his role as an instructor. Touré was excited that Rainbow continues to evolve and is proud to be a part of it. He told me there’s always a lot to learn from his peers and that, lately, he’s been trying to stretch beyond his comfort zone. He certainly has taken the lead on including more virtual simulation in our training. He’s hoping to incorporate the unique skills of operators such as Specialist Grace “Dokkaebi” Nam in his next sessions. [...]

Touré has a naturally protective nature. His choice to enter law enforcement speaks more to that than his family’s military history. The middle of four - his two brothers are also in the military - Touré said that the family raised them to be protectors. Their parents recounted stories of various ancestors who fought for what was right. [...] He believes that education is the solution to many of the world’s problems. His sister finished her police training but switched to teaching when she felt that was where she could do the most good.

Because Touré has an understated confidence, I was surprised when he expressed doubt over his role in Rainbow. Many of our operators are exceptionally skilled with languages. Touré isn’t. None of the reports suggest this is an issue, but even a perceived weakness can become debilitating. I encouraged him to select one - only one - language to focus on studying, and asked some of the other specialists to make an effort to include him in their conversations. If all goes well, it’ll feel less like he’s being tested and more like he’s being folded into the group.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Gendarmerie Nationale

Gendarmerie Mobile

Relevant Experience:

Prise de la Grande Mosquée

1994 hijacking, Marseille Provence Airport

Joint training exercises (CENZUB)

Certified GIGN trainer

Notes:

Device: Extendable Shield “Le Roc”

Operator: Specialist Gilles “Montagne” Touré

Evaluation Lead: Dr Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of R&D

Gilles Touré’s Extendable Shield was one of the first to arrive for evaluation. Le Roc’s heavy black surface is covered in deep battle scars and definitely stands out against our R&D facility’s pristine labs. According to Pulse (Specialist Jack Estrada), it was like the Monolith from 2001 A Space Odyssey had landed. I didn’t understand this reference until he linked images from the movie - he’s right!

Having Monty participate in some of these control tests has given us a better perspective of what he’s up against (and what he puts others up against). The shield has had some modifications in the past and we have had a solid list of adjustments we may want to consider eventually. For now, Montagne’s skill with the Extendable Shield has always been solid. As long as Specialist Touré has good support and communication with the team, Le Roc will continue to do its job as designed.

--Dr Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of R&D

Doc

Background:

“My job is to keep you alive. Make it as hard as you like.”

Of Algerian and French descent, Kateb grew up in an affluent family in Paris’ 16th arrondissement. He comes from a well-respected lineage in both the military and medicine. In his second year of medical studies with the prestigious Université Paris Descartes, Kateb answered the appeal for volunteers in Médecins Sans Frontiéres (MSF). He has subsequently volunteered numerous times on emergency frontline aid missions around the world. Upon graduation, Kateb declined a prominent private medical practice in favor of a career with the French Defense Health Service. Kateb’s main disciplines is toxicology and ecotoxicology. He has authored studies on biological agents and their effects on at-risk population and damaged environments, and contribution reports to the European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control (ECDC). Recognizing the ongoing need for doctors, Kateb continues to volunteer with the MSF. He is a highly regarded medical officer for the commandement des forces spéciales Terre.

Psychological Report:

Specialist Gustave “Doc” Kateb’s wealthy upbringing could have easily turned him into a narcissist, yet he’s one of the most accessible and thoughtful people I’ve encountered. Surprisingly, he didn’t have much interest in being a doctor. The impetus seems to stem from family tradition, though it’s clear his grandfather’s military service was a strong motivation. Kateb admitted that he almost quit at the end of his first year because he didn’t feel any passion for his work. I gather his father thought the mention of “passion” was absurd. [...]

In his second year, Kateb volunteered for MSF and that first mission still resonates with him. The squalor, the chronic lack of supplies, the desperate need. He remembers how the look of worry on the mothers’ faces subsided as they gathered near the tents. That’s when he found his passion at last. [...] Encountering people with so little, it’s understandable that Kateb said that he felt shame. What’s interesting is that he described embarrassment as well for the life he still had. [...]

Field reports reflect Kateb’s selfless acts, yet he has explicitly chosen a combat role. That piques my interest. It was some time before he was willing to share his story with me. During a frontline op in East Africa, the hospital where Kateb worked was stormed by local militia. All of the patients he fought so hard to save were killed. From this horrendous event he realized it was within his power to save lives with a scalpel or bullet. [...]

Kateb’s proclivity for conflict resolution is just one of a dozen skills that make him an asset to Rainbow. It’s clear the team trusts and respects him. He’s developed a strong bond with Specialist Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon, due in part to Pichon’s use of technology to lessen the risk on human lives. Unfortunately, there is also unresolved animosity with Specialist Olivier “Lion” Flament over quarantine procedures that saw several of Kateb’s aid worker friends killed. For now, the situation is stable, if nonreciprocal. That may be the best we can hope for.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Université Paris Descartes: Bachelor of Science, Health; Master Toxicology and Ecotoxicology; Doctorate Medicine, Toxicology, Chemistry, Imagery (MTCI) French Defense Health Service

Army Special Forces Brigade

Relevant Experience:

Opération Turquoise

MINUSCA Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF)

Notes:

Device: MPD-0 STIM PISTOL Operator: Specialist Gustave “Doc” Kateb

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Gustave “Doc” Kateb

The first thing we’re taught in battlefield triage is MARCH, or looking for and treating in order: Major Hemorrhages, Airways, Respiration, Circulation, and Hypothermia. The first, blood loss, is always the greatest danger and while my stim pistol delivers the necessary dosage of epinephrine to stimulate the heart and dilate the cardiovascular system with adrenaline, the dose also includes micro-pellets that functions as near-instant coagulating agents. They race through the circulatory system, sealing up internal bleeding and damaged blood vessels, and filling in wound cavities from the inside, preventing soldiers from bleeding out. I don’t like the idea of keeping wounded soldiers on their feet, to be frank, but I also know that a soldier who can still fight will save yet more lives.

--Specialist Gustave “Doc” Kateb

Rook

Background:

“If you’re going to get shot, you may as well do it right.” Nizan’s father is a respected stone mason while his mother held multiple jobs. They both informed his sense of architectural design and precision, helping him earn top rankings in school. Along with Nizan’s intellectual interests, he excelled in athletics from an early age, including Track & Field, fencing, and cycling. He later dropped out of university to cycle across France before returning and joining the Gendarmerie. Nizan thrived in his training, which included specialized qualifications in weapons, surveillance, and criminal investigations. His adaptability put him at the top of the list in military and defense courses, quickly catching the attention of the GIGN. His first operations with that unit combined all the elements to satisfy his endless pursuit of challenges and adventure, according to staff psychologists. Specializing in hostage rescue and surveillance, Nizan’s list of successful interventions is extensive.

Psychological Report:

In reviewing Specialist Julien “Rook” Nizan’s file, what stands out is his ability to adapt to demands. Very quickly into our conversation it was clear that Nizan’s interests are wide-reaching. From his descriptions, it sounds like his parents imparted their eclectic tastes. Julien and his sister, Élodie, were especially encouraged to be curious about everything. I would argue that it’s this openness to the world around him that led to the creation of his protective - yet still highly flexible - armor plating. [...]

Nizan’s father is a stone mason, which requires imagination, precision, and dedication. His mother’s ability to explore different vocations with verve - bookkeeping, street busker, florist, tour guide, sommelier, and chef - all strongly influenced how Nizan adapts to challenges and what goals he sets out for himself. [...] The field reports reflect some of Nizan’s chameleon-like way of merging into whatever role is required. This kind of versatility is rare - I’ve asked leads such as Specialists Gustave “Doc” Kateb and Miles “Castle” Campbell to challenge Nizan more during operations. [...]

I’m curious about how Nizan went from studying architecture to joining law enforcement. He grew up passionate about cycling, auto racing, and rock concerts, and he spent an inordinate amount of time trying to device as scheme by which these could become careers. Ultimately, his interests evolved. Dropping out of university to cycle around France gave him his first sense of freedom. And then his world expanded further when he returned. At that time, the Gendarmerie enlisted his civilian father for an anti-corruption sting with local businesses. Nizan told me he was fascinated by the level of planning required by the police. [...]

Right from the beginning, Nizan remembers appreciating the broad spectrum of skills and range of expertise required to be in law enforcement and the military. Every day is a different. [...] Nizan is one of the more constant optimists on the team. His ability to energize other specialists is important, and he’s certainly well liked. I’d like to see Nizan’s sense of adventure put to better use, however. Complacency benefits no one.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Gendarmerie Nationale

Garde Républicaine

Relevant Experience:

GIGN Marksmanship champion

Notes:

Device: R1N “Rhino” Armor - Armor Pack

Operator: Specialist Julien “Rook” Nizan

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Gustave “Doc” Kateb

Lab time has been limited. I understand this. But Specialist Julien Nizan’s R1N “Rhino” Armor Assessment has been bumped off the schedule four times! I was informed that this was due to the straight forward nature of the Armor Pack and therefore doesn’t require a full lab analysis. This is not ideal. How are these being prioritized? I’d like to have a meeting with Dr. Harry Pandey and Director Elena Álvarez (Six and Mira) to discuss the lab schedule priorities.

The R1N’s composition of boron ceramic plates can limit damage from small arms and effectively “buys time” from fatal impacts so that medical assistance can reach the team in time. As we all know, this is the single most important thing in combat - survival! With something so simple it’s really exceptional and deserves respect. Please, let’s discuss lab time.

--Doc

Glaz

Background:

“Information keeps you alive. It’s how you find your way out of the dark. That, and a flashlight.”

Timur “Glaz” Glazkov’s formidable skill as a sniper served him well within Spetsnaz. He has an exceptional talent for observation and attention to detail. Glazkov grew up in the seaport city of Vladivostok, where he studied art.

In 2004, militants took a school hostage in Beslan resulting in the deaths of numerous people, including children. This motivated Glaz to join the Ground Forces of the Russian Federation. While training at the prestigious Khabarovsk Military Commanders Academy he developed unparalleled marksmanship and was immediately recruited into the 45th Guards Regiment. Assigned to special ops and VIP protected detail, reports consistently show that Glaz possesses a unique creative approach to problem-solving. He is the squad member with the most expertise in long-range scoped weaponry.

Psychological Report:

What stands out about Specialist Timur “Glaz” Glazkov is his wit. It’s surprising from someone so intensely focused during operations. He won’t share his gallows humor with me because he says a civilian wouldn’t understand, and he may be right about that. Still, I find him engaging in our discussions. [...]

Glazkov possesses many traits expected of a highly-trained marksman and field reports demonstrate his knack for improvising in tough situations. His ability to deconstruct complex concepts on the fly likely comes from his artistic sensibilities. [...] I asked what his influences were when he was studying since Vladivostok was quite remote back then. As Glazkov’s father worked in shipping, he had access to plenty of bootleg music and books. [...] His paintings are vibrant -- expressive. They’re more than an escape, perhaps a spiritual cleansing or a depiction of how he perceives suffering, but I’m far from a qualified art critic. [...]

He grew up in the Far East, and his exercises at the Academy included cross-border training with China. His knowledge of Mandarin and China’s culture should prove useful. [...] The rest of his upbringing seems typical: Getting into trouble, getting himself out again. Early operational reports are - let’s say a tad thin. And while he’s clearly self-aware, he’s not willing to discuss much with me. [...]

Glazkov is well-respected by his team. His humor and observational skills make him tolerant of personality extremes and he seems to be among the few operators who strategizes well with Vicente “Capitão” Souza. He laughs when Alexsandr “Tachanka” Senaviev tells him it’s because he too almost lost an eye. [...]

The mark on his right eye - a scar - is from a weapon kick, though his smile leads me to believe that’s not the whole story. I’ve noticed he subconsciously rubs it when he’s bothered. It may be nothing, or may be his “tell,” if how he plays poker with the FBI SWAT contingent is anything to go by.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Cadet Corps

Ground Forces of the Russian Federation

Khabarovsk Military Commanders Training Academy

Spetsnaz: 45th Guards Regiment

Relevant Experience:

Russo-Georgian War

Deployed in REDACTED

Notes:

Device: HDS Flip Sight OTs-03 MARKSMAN rifle

Operator: Specialist Timur “Glaz” Glazkov

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Sebastien “Buck” Côté

The OTs-03 high-powered sniper weapon of Specialist Glazkov’s (Glaz) exceeds all previous Russian designs. I’ve always been eager to try it. Since I happen to be a marksman in my own right, R&D Director Elena “Mira” Álvarez chose me to test it - under the sharp eye of Glaz. (It’s not his staring that unnerves you, it’s that he sketches you while he does it…) The single-point cut-rifled barrel is a key reason this weapon is so effective. There’s no stress on the barrel and no wobble or drift. So if you still miss it’s because you aren’t Glaz. Even a precision weapon as good this isn’t much without the HDS Flip Sight. The OTs-03 has an integrated rail for mounting optics with a tandem configuration allowing quick access to the HDS. This thermal detection is a point of pride and contention among operator discussions. This weapon provides faultless technical backup for someone with faultless skill.

--Buck

Fuze

Background:

“Chaos is only an enemy if you’re unable to adapt.” Growing up in a military family in Samarkand, Uzbekistan, Shuhrat Kessikbayev immigrated to Russia shortly before the fall of the Soviet Union. From an early age Kessikbayev displayed an aptitude for science. His interest in mechanical engineering was honed in the military where he also trained as a machinist. Kessikbayev has applied these skills in numerous engineering projects, including his own weapon, and his ability to improvise in the field with scrap materials and minimal tools has made him a legend among his fellow recruits. This is one of the key reasons he is an asset to Rainbow Operations. During his time in the 27th Motor Rifle Brigade he excelled as a sharpshooter and has extensive weapon knowledge. Deployment within the Spetsnaz is confirmed, however all operation details remain classified. Kessikbayev is fluent in Uzbek, Russian, Ukranian, and English.

Psychological Report:

To say that Specialist Shuhrat “Fuze” Kessikbayev is restrained does not give the full picture. I was reminded of my grandmothers phrase: “Talking to him was like pulling teeth.” When other operators referred to him as mysterious I thought they were joking. I wouldn’t say that he’s difficult. He’s quite pleasant and hospitable. But he is… contained. It took some work but we finally managed to have a revealing conversation. [...]

Kessikbayev is quiet except with Specialist Timur “Glaz” Glazkov. When he does speak, people tend to hang off his every word. Field reports mention that Kessikbayev readily makes himself available in team planning but often falls into a cone of silence during operations. It’s critical that he maintains communications with his team, otherwise there may be further altercations such as the one with Specialist Siu Mei “Ying” Lin regarding civilian casualties. This is doubly critical given some of our operators come from units with “zero casualty” rules [...]

It was necessary to address past reports about Kessikbayev’s recklessness, so I asked him to describe an operation from his point of view. His objective, he explained, is to break down the defenses as efficiently as possible, but insists he isn’t careless. It’s clear that his creative engineering skills are a critical asset. He’s highly intelligent and calculating. While hard-hitting, Kessikbayev does possess good situational awareness. I suggested that he concentrate on improving this during future ops. [...]

I was unable to ascertain any details about his brother who is allegedly MIA. That file remains classified. However, I did manage to get Kessikbayev to open up a bit about his personal life. He was engaged for two years but the wedding was called off after he decided it was “not the road to take.” A proud Uzbek and a proud Russian, Kessikbayev said that growing up his parents encouraged them to embrace all that was Russian, so it wasn’t until his teens when he learned to embrace his Uzbek heritage. I asked him to elaborate on the experiences, but in his typical understated way he simply replied, “It was interesting.”

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

27th Motor Rifle Brigade

Spetsnaz GRU GSO

Relevant Experience:

Participant in the Ratnik gear program

Personal cluster charge, the “Matryoshka”, designed by Kessikbayev, first saw action in [REDACTED]

Notes:

Device: APM-6 Cluster Charge “Matryoshka”

Operator: Specialist Shuhrat “Fuze” Kessikbayev

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Jordan “Thermite” Trace

I’ll admit that I’d already jumped on the device evaluations even before I received the official request. No surprise there, right? Mira always has the R&D lab running at full throttle. So when she asked me to look at Shuhrat’s APM-6 Cluster Charge it took me no time at all to write up my report.

I was already familiar with the Matryoshka, having studied its trigger mechanism in relation to my Brimstone charge. The mechanical assembly is modeled after aerial bomb fuzes where detonation is tied to a fuze with an integrated firing pin. It’s less sophisticated than my Brimstone, but it doesn’t need that to be effective.

Clearing rooms and flushing out defenders is its primary function and I’d say it operates as designed. It actually has a benefit in that some targets are terrified of the boom. Shuhrat obviously understands the importance of classical conditioning. I just wish it only affected the people he’s going up against, but that's the problem with high explosives - they don’t discriminate.

This gadget is a beast. And that’s something, coming from me.

--J. Trace

Kapkan

Background:

“There are many different kinds of cunning. Fortunately, survival requires only one.”

Maxim “Kapkan” Basuda and his brothers grew up in Kovrov, surrounded by the influence of the Russian military. Both parents worked in the military support factories, his father in mechanical engineering and his mother in textiles. Encouraged by his parents and teachers, Basuda joined the Ministry of Internal Affairs as a police officer. Along with the standard training of weapon expertise, protection detail, and high speed pursuit, Basuda showed adroit skills with hostage rescue and information gathering. Clever strategies and self-sufficiency meant that Basuda was perfect for an undercover operation in the port town of Naryan Mar of the Barents Sea. His successful efforts to shut down organized crime prompted his recruitment into the highly respected Spetsnaz. Basuda became an avid hunter and trapper during his time in the Arctic Circle, before behind transferred to Beslan in 2002.

Psychological Report:

On first impression, Specialist Maxim “Kapkan” Basuda can come across as jaded about the world and his role in it. Oftentimes those who are most frustrated sound as though they don’t care, when in fact they care a great deal. It’s important to Basuda that he’s able to make a lasting contribution and so, despite his cynicism or because of it, he’s taken it upon himself to mentor other soldiers. [...] Even though some find him intense, they all speak highly of him. I asked him if he thought he had changed much over the years. He laughed and told me the one change he has noticed: He still eats flint for breakfast, only know he knows when to take his words back. [...]

Basuda enjoys a number of hobbies centered around weapons and hunting, so naturally I wanted to hear what the appeal was for him. A hunter, Basuda told me, needs to think strategically, to understand the animal’s routines and behaviors, but it’s also imperative that the hunter respect their prey. [...] Any true hunter respects animals. They understand conservation and the need to maintain a balance. Wolves and bears play their part perfectly, he told me. Basuda said this understanding makes him a better operator because he can apply it to people - both in how they’re like animals, but also in how they are not.

For Basuda, life is harsh - made harsher by humans. Decisive action and level headedness are what matter. Like wolves - not the fairy tale kind, but the real ones - Basuda considers himself loyal. Wolves, he explained to me, are devoted to family. All members raise the young, and they work together as a team when hunting. [...] Given his explanation, I wondered if he may feel somewhat lonely. A wolf without a pack. At my mention of it, he laughed and tapped his temple and told me he always loves brain science - that my job studies the mind but then is almost always about the soul. Listening to him wax philosophical, I couldn’t help but agree.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Ministry of Internal Affairs, Police Officer

SOBR

Relevant Experience:

Beslan School Siege

REDACTED

Notes:

Device: EDD MKII Tripwires

Operator: Specialist Maxim “Kapkan” Basuda

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Tina Lin “Frost” Tsang with Specialist Maxim “Kapkan” Basuda

It’s exciting to be a part of these evaluations. So I want to extend my thanks to Rainbow Director Harry (Six) Pandey and Director Elena “Mira” Álvarez for including me. Because of my Welcome Mats, Mira felt that I’d be the best choice to take a closer look at Kapkan’s EDD MK II traps. So Kap and I got right to work running our gear through a series of tests: Stress, deployment, and tactical. We made use of every part of the state-of-the-art lab.

Over the course of its development there have been various adjustments made to the EDD MK II. It was updated with a lighter alloy and a revised design has made it more flexible. Overall, the EDD is functioning well and we’re happy with the results (attached).

I learned more about Kap over these past few days than from all of the operations we’ve been on together! He taught me a few new tricks. And despite what he says, I think he learned some things from me too.

--Tina

Tachanka

Background:

“They told me I’d died. They were wrong. I was reborn.” Many of the men in the Senaviev family served in the Red Army. At the age of eighteen, Senaviev was conscripted into military service just as the Soviet Union was ending its operations in Afghanistan. Upon the dissolution of his draft, Senaviev opted to enlist full time. He was part of the wrestling league, where his formidable frame and match strategy earned him accolades. Along with heavy artillery, Senaviev’s training focused on defensive and breaching tactics, and while there he apprenticed as a precision tool and die machinist in the weapons division. Senaviev applied for a transfer to the Russian Navy but for classified reasons remained in the Armed Forces.

Psychological Report:

Calm in a crisis: Specialist Alexsandr “Tachanka” Senaviev’s original file doesn’t cover much more than that. So along with our meeting, I wanted to dig deeper into field reports and observe him in training before I could reassess his background.

Senaviev has a boisterous sense of humor with a booming laugh. He can be quite blunt, but without the intent to offend. Personally, I appreciate someone with clarity. [...] He’s dedicated to his team and is focused and calm during operations. That said, I’ve also observed some frustration. There’s a contingent of specialists who passionately support him, yet Senaviev feels he has potential that he doesn’t know how to maximize. It’s clear he wants to be a devastating force so I suggested changing his approach. If he studies his team, in particular, he should search for gaps in their strategy. It’s there he may just find a place where he fits. [...]

Senaviev’s younger sister is a doctor and our discussion had barely started when he was showing me photos of her in her doctor’s smock, along with a dozen more photos of his nieces and nephews and his own kids. [...] He and his sister grew up in a strict household without many things, which is why he makes a great effort to enjoy life. They both make sure that their kids are loved and raised with laughter. At the same time, he doesn’t like to buy or accumulate physical objects and emphasizes this with his children, much to their consternation. I suspect that’s also partly to do with his divorce. [...]

Though Senaviev is dedicated to his country and appreciates the life his patriotism has brought him, he was adamant that his son and nephew no make a career out of the military. “They can do obligation,” he told me. “Then go be useful in something else.” And so what Senaviev wants for his family and friends - for them to find a role where they find useful - is what he’s trying to find for himself. It’s up to Rainbow, as a team, to guide him.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Soviet Army

Russian Ground Forces

Relevant Experience:

Soviet-Afghan War

First Chechan War

Second Chechan War

Russo-Georgian War

Notes:

Device: Mounted LMG - RP-46 Degtyaryov Machine Gun

Operator: Specialist Alexsandr “Tachanka” Senaviev

Evaluation Lead: Dr. Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of R&D

Yesterday my day started with being handed a flight case that looked like it had been dropped ten thousand feet from the plane, and then dragged behind the delivery van before it reached us. Inside, the LMG had as many battle scars as the outside case. Even before checking with Tachanka - Specialist Alexsandr Senaviev - I knew that’s how it looked when it was put inside.

Tachanka doesn’t want anyone to “touch his toys” but he understands these evaluations are crucial for team operations. The LMG has had so many modifications to it already - mostly by Senaviev - that it’s in a category of its own.

We are in the process of testing a number of prototype options. In the meantime, I’ve attached a list of possible adjustments we can make to this LMG, if I can get Tachanka to let us make the changes.

--Dr. Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of R&D

Blitz

Background:

“I don’t like photos of myself. The lighting is always wrong.” Kötz is a graduate of Hermann-Böse-Gymnasium, an elite academy specializing in science and language studies. Throughout his educating Kötz excelled both academically and athletically. Among his many unique abilities, Kötz is multilingual with the ability to grasp the nuance of a language quickly. His physically imposing frame and skill with his weapon make him  formidable in space, room-to-room deployment. It’s his tactical experience that secures him as a solid Rainbow elite. These abilities combined with his specialized academic background and good-natured personality make him highly sought after. He easily transitioned from a Schnelle Kräfte soldier in Kosovo to a member of the GSG 9. Kötz has been integral to fostering training practices and good will between India’s National Security Guard and GSG 9.

Psychological Report:

Specialist Elias “Blitz” Kötz has seen his share of intense combat but is physically and mentally resilient. His temperament can best be described as jovial, though his team prefers to describe his sense of humor as “goofy.” I know my son would agree. Kötz uses humor to help diffuse stressful situations. It’s appreciated by his teammates and holds more value than his previous commanders gave him credit for. [...] It’s not that he doesn’t take his job seriously. In fact, quite the opposite: On a number of occasions he was the first to rush a barricade and has often placed the team’s safety over his own. The fact that Kötz prefers to not consider his acts as heroic is a quirk of his personality, but certainly no detriment to his performance. [...]

I like to think of myself as physically fit. Of course I realize these specialists are in a class of their own but even there, Kötz stands out as exceptional. He jokes about how often our med team files requests to strap him to some new machine so they can keep testing his physical limits. For anyone else the attention might be overwhelming, but Kötz takes it all in his stride. [...]

For his easy laugh and quick wit, there’s an earnest passion to Kötz. In the midst of telling me how his childhood was fun and free, he suddenly stopped. All joking aside, he said, “We have a responsibility to look after one another. I take that very seriously.” I have no doubt. [...] I’ve noticed that Blitz is a close confidante with Specialist Lera “Finka” Melnikova. When I asked him about it, he said they enjoy making fun of each other. She impresses him, he told me. It makes me wonder if he harbors some guilt because he’s in perfect health. [...]

Kötz’s mental dexterity can’t be overlooked, yet he often neglects to use it during operations. His amicable friendship with Specialist Gilles “Montagne” Touré may be a pathway to expanding Kötz’s application of his own abilities, and a way to hone their competitive edge.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

International Baccalaureate Hermann-Böse-Gymnasium

Division Schnelle Kräfte

Relevant Experience:

Special Team 6

Trainer: National Security Guard (India)

Notes:

Device: G52-Tactical Light Shield Operator: Specialist Elias “Blitz” Kötz

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Elias “Blitz” Kötz

Flash and bash - Kapow! Is all you need to know.

Serious, when Six and Mira (Doctor Harry Pandey and Director Elena Álvarez) issued a directive to have all of the equipment evaluated, I volunteered to put my G52-Tactical Light Shield through rigorous tests… as long as they treated me to lunch. :)

The flash shield has had modifications that improve the flash and make the shield’s weight lighter. I speak for all operators when I suggest that lighter is always better. Lighter makes faster!

[Comment_E Álvarez: Yes, Elias. I’ve made a note in the file. We’ll do what we can. Mira.]

So it’s all working very well. One last thing! When i opened this file there was already a note: Blitz’s G52 is Flash and Bash aggressive and yet Elias is the total opposite! He’s the sweetest, funniest person to hang out with.

I have no idea who wrote this, but they are correct. I am the funniest and the sweetest.

--Blitz

IQ

Background:

“Life is the ultimate Rube Goldberg machine.”

Weiss’s mother is a renowned mathematician and her father is an inventor whose high academic standards encouraged Weiss and her siblings to win numerous awards in math, science, and music throughout the school years. Thriving in the gifted program enabled Weiss to complete her first internship with a local tech company at the age of sixteen. She was invited to MIT, where she focused on electrical engineering, achieving accolades for her research in Microelectronics. Weiss then joined CalTech for graduate studies in experimental electrical engineering. Weiss returned to Germany to work with military technology research before joining the Bundespolizei (BPOL) as an officer. Both the physical and mental challenges of the job appealed to Weiss and she quickly moved through the ranks. After two years with the BPOL she was recruited by the GSG 9.

Psychological Report:

Specialist Monika “IQ” Weiss is as active physically as she is intellectually. When she does manage to pull herself away from rock climbing, spelunking, and - well, countless other athletic and intellectual pursuits, she writes science-fiction. During our meeting, Weiss exuded so much natural vitality that I felt the same exhaustive rush I felt from completing my first marathon. [...]

Weiss says that she and her siblings are typical overachievers and jokes that even she gets worn out at family gatherings. It’s clear they’re important to her and she confided that she doesn’t have any close friends because only her family understands her.

It isn’t unusual for people with exceptional intelligence to be uncomfortable socializing. Of course, I’m not interested in pushing Weiss into making friends - that’s not my role, nor hers. But I do think she would benefit from reaching out to some of the other specialists beyond the usual training exercises and research. [...]

Her parents encouraged Weiss and her siblings to stretch their imaginations as much as their intellect. She described her mother as “someone madly obsessed with finding patterns in chaos.” Her father was the kind to launch experimental rockets from the family garage. It’s hardly surprising, then, that Weiss inherited their combined talent for focused disruption. [...]

Weiss was coveted by companies and universities from around the world, but she chose law enforcement. That fascinated me. She said it was an opportunity to work with state-of-the-art equipment and express her love for her country at the same time. I pointed out a third reason - academic research can be rewarding but it's typically highly focused and structured, leaving less room for the wildly creative approach that Weiss naturally possesses and that our special operations encourage. [...]

Field reports mention that Weiss can become obsessive when tackling challenges. In the same vein, she suffers from bouts of insomnia. I suspect the latter stems from the fact that Weiss simply doesn’t want to “give up the day”. If she’s to be of utmost use to Rainbow, it will be important that she learns when and where to let go.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT): Bachelor of Science Electrical Engineering

CalTech: PhD Electrical Engineering

Bundespolizei

Relevant Experience:

GSG 9: Protection detail (Iraq)

GSG 9: Technical unit GSG 9: Airborne operations

SWAT training with both Bundespolizei and GSG 9

Notes:

Device: Electronic Detector RED Mk III “Spectre” Operator: Specialist Monika “IQ” Weiss Evaluation Lead: Specialist Monika “IQ” Weiss

Under the direction of both Six and Mira (Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey and Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of Research and Development) I’ve been helping lead a team of specialists for the department’s equipment evaluations. As the battlefield evolves, technology needs to evolve too!

Evaluation tests of the RED Mk III “Spectre” in the lab have been mostly positive. The frequencies have been adjusted and the scanner has improved. It’s always been a goal to have the gadget’s detection communicated to the team in real time. Field tests for this modification are attached.

One final note: I noticed Specialist J. Estrada (Pulse) was added to the tech lab schedule. The last time he was in the lab his “prank” modifications to the Spectre were not even mildly amusing. If he’s going to hang around the lab and participate in the evaluations I suggest we all keep a close eye on him. He isn’t as funny as he thinks he is.

--M. Weiss

Jäger

Background:

“Birthdays. Proposals. These should be surprises. No one wants a grenade to the face.”

Raised by his uncle, a mechanic with the Bundespolizei (BPOL) Aviation Group, Streicher was around engines and motors at an early age. While he demonstrated skills in mechanics, it didn’t hold the challenge that he was looking for. Since he had an affinity for complex machinery, his uncle encouraged him to study aeronautical engineering at university, but strict academic form was uncomfortable for him. So while Streicher’s grades were acceptable, he had a tendency toward restless antics. Following his hobby and passion in flying, he spent a considerable time around pilots and aircraft. Private corporations sought him out, but Streicher joined BPOL-Aviation Group because it offered him unique challenges, the opportunity to fly and serve his country. Almost immediately, Streicher began designing defensive weapon systems for BPOL including a ground-based Active Defense System (ADS) prototype. It was this prototype that caught the attention of GSG 9 and Rainbow.

Psychological Report:

Specialist Marius “Jäger” Streicher has a creative curiosity that’s reflected both in his operations and his daily life. The first part of our conversation was spent discussing a documentary that he watched the night before, about scientists searching for new antibiotics. Streicher was so caught up in it that he sent the link to Specialists Gustave “Doc” Kateb, Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon, and Lera “Finka” Melnikova. I’m sure they were all equally interested, if maybe not thrilled to be contacted so early in the morning.

That was only the start of our conversation. Streicher discussed other documentaries that he found fascinating: NASA sending a probe to the sun, new discoveries about Tyrannosaurus Rex, really anything to feed his voracious appetite for information on any subject. Robotics and artificial intelligence are the topics he seeks out the most but he enjoys almost anything. [...]

Streicher’s lively energy made for a dizzying meeting. Though the conversation wasn’t erratic, it had a path, I admit I wasn’t able to see it until I noticed that he often mentions the team: Wondering if so-and-so is doing alright after the loss of their dog, if another one received the birthday card he sent, and other references. Streicher enjoys sharing information so that he can make connections. Not just his connection with individuals, but a web of connections among everyone. [...]

His own upbringing wasn’t particularly lively or warm and the small family meant that he had very little company his age. He told me that his uncle was a fussy man - nitpicky. Streicher appreciates his uncle and all that he taught him, going so far to say that his uncle made him a better person. But Streicher did also say that his uncle was closed off and had no sense of humor. I believe the translation is “grouchy bean counter.” Understanding this background shines some light on why Streicher is so eager to create these connections with his team. He sees them as family. It certainly explains how intensely protective he is of all of them either on operations or during downtime.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Karlsruhe Institute of Technology: Bachelor of Science, Aerospace Engineering

Bundespolizei: Helicopter Technician, Weapons Maintenance

GSG 9: Technical Advisor

Relevant Experience:

CQB training for operations at sea

Involved in anti-piracy ops

Notes:

Device: ADS-MKIV “Magpie” Automated Defense System

Operator: Specialist Marius “Jäger” Streicher

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Marius “Jäger” Streicher

Mira tasked me with the evaluation of my ADS-MKIV “Magpie.” Spending hours in test lab sounds like my type of vacation - no joke. I’m always on the look-out for where things can be improved. For reference, I have attached the field test data for comparison. Data-Data-Data!

Before we get to that, let’s explore the importance of studying defensive strategies alongside breaching techniques throughout history, as well as the evolution of tech -

[Comment_E. Álvarez: References on defensive strategy, historical analysis of strategies, historical documentaries, list of favorite books have all been archived. *Marius, the details are interesting (and I agree with some of your favorite movie picks) but please keep this file focused on the tech results. Mira]

Now that those references help explain my tactical approach, we can better understand these tech results (attached). To sum up: The Magpie is operating at optimal performance. My gear and my operator strategy will - as Pulse says - “continue to cause many salty tears” for our opponents.

--Jäger

Bandit

Background:

“Survival is all about timing. Nature doesn’t give second chances.”

Brunsmeier and his twin brother were raised in a working class district near the Berlin Wall. Their father worked in the police force and strongly encouraged them to join. While working with Bundespolizei (BPOL) Brunsmeier excelled in crisis situations. He transferred to the Aviation Group long enough to obtain his helicopter license but his adaptability and experience with border surveillance flagged him for undercover operations. He was embedded as an undercover agent in the terrorist organization Red Army Faction (RAF) and later in the Hannover Chapter of the Hell’s Angels. In both operations Brunsmeier’s contribution was critical in seeing key members arrested and providing valuable information. While undercover, Brunsmeier honed skills in guerrilla tactics and improvised explosive devices. He developed prototypes of his electrified barricade and deployable shield. He is fluent in German, English, Polish, and Turkish.

Psychological Report:

I wouldn’t expect an operator who worked undercover for years amongst dangerous biker gangs and militants to be anything less than clever and adaptive. And in re-reading Specialist Dominic “Bandit” Brunsmeier’s file I’m struck by just how resourceful he had to be. It’s clear he had to be creative and strategic to stay alive. Frankly then, I was surprised by his sense of humor. It must’ve sustained him through his undercover operations. That said, he can have a cold intensity. Nothing reminds me that I’m a soft civilian more than looking into Brunsmeier’s eyes.

Brunsmeier certainly speaks fondly of his brother. He enjoys being an uncle to his brother’s kids - how they’re the only ones who let him be as silly as he’d like. He told me about their childhood in the shadow of the Berlin Wall. How sometimes they’d hear a BOOM from something triggering a land mine. And how they couldn’t resist pranking the patrol guards with some twin antics. [...]

I didn’t want to ask about the undercover work directly. It wasn’t until our most recent meeting when he volunteered some information. Brunsmeier described the challenge of remembering the real “upi” when immersed in another persona. The question: “Who are you?” would creep into his sleep. If he dared to form an answer, he knew he was as good as dead. Even considering the question was dangerous. So he would push it away. We discussed details of what he had to do to ensure his cover wasn’t blown, the source of some fantastic rumors circulating about him. Smiling, he assured me they’re only half true. I don’t want to break his confidence here. I merely need to assess if it has any lasting impact on him and the Rainbow team. [...] The most I can offer at this time is that the team works well together. [...]

It’s critical that Brunsmeier doesn’t close himself off. Training scenarios alongside operators such as Specialists Miles “Castle” Campbell, Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon, or Elias “Blitz” Kötz could help. These operators have calming attributes that may temper Brunsmeier’s inner demons.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Bundespolizei formerly known as Bundesgrenzschutz (BGS) Bundeskriminalamt (BKA): Abteilung

Relevant Experience:

Undercover: Red Army Faction, Weiterstadt prison bombing

Undercover: Hannover Hells Angels

Notes:

Device: CED-1 Crude Electrical Device “Shock Wires” Operator: Specialist Dominic “Bandit” Brunsmeier

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Jack “Pulse” Estrada

Given that the CED-1 Crude Electrical Device “Shock Wire” is a fairly straightforward tool in Specialist Dominic Brunsmeier’s arsenal, he was surprised when I told him it was scheduled for evaluation. Bandit’s more of a grease monkey and so he seemed out of place at first in test facility. (Note: Need more lab coats in size Large. I’m not letting him wear mine again. I don’t know what the hell he spilled on it, but I recommend it be incinerated).

So far we’ve collected a solid amount of data. The fun part was running a series of mods to maximize its capabilities and naturally Bandit had his own methodology and tricks up his sleeve. In my opinion, if we want any future modifications the best bang for our buck is to explore battery configuration. Bandit is in the “if it ain’t broke” camp, so it’s going to take some convincing. Let’s tag it as “in progress.”

--Pulse

[crystalblueskie]

I got bored and wrote some jokes. Tell me if you like them.

So, to get started let me tell you a little something about my family. My mom is disabled and so she has a service dog named Callie Ann...that is such a country white girl name, Callie Ann, amirite? Anyways, so this dog obviously goes everywhere with us: doctors offices, grocery store, restaurants. Normal service dog stuff, you know? But for some reason, everybody stares at her like it's the weirdest thing they've ever seen. A dog wearing a vest walking around Target... I use Target because Walmart is too controversial. Walmart: EVIL!! Target: fair game. Walmart: Trump Target:...any other president. Anyways: dog wearing a vest walking around Target, a vest that blatantly say "SERVICE DOG" on it mind you and random people like to just walks up to us as we and the dog are minding our own business and ask "Is she a service dog?" *Stares bewildered* and every time I'm thinking in my head "I DON'T KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER VEST!"..."no, no ma'am we just slapped a service dog vest on her so she can go everywhere with us. Thank you for asking. Goodbye. Have a nice day." Another thing about this dog, I love her to death I really do. It's fun we have a young dog in the house again, she loves to play with anything that squeaks or makes a weird noise, I'm getting exercise again! Yay! But my mother takes it to a WHOLE 'NOTHER LEVEL!! We'll out shopping...*whispers* at Target...and we'll walk past the dog section... I'm trying to walk past as fast as possible. My mom stops right at the mouth of the aisle and walks down it. Shit, I know how this goes. My mom and her dog happily trot down the aisle and her dog smells all of the toy until eventually she smells a toy for more than three seconds...my mom is ready. She talks in that annoying baby voice, you know the voice right? *in an annoying baby voice* "Do you like that toy? Yeah! You like that toy? You want that toy? I'm gonna get you that toy!" SHIT. Toy goes in the cart...We end up leaving the store with more dog treats and a goddamn dog toy. Ever. Single. Time. And I'm over here thinking, if I got a toy every time we left the house as a child, I would have more toys than my tiny, little, ADD-riddled brain could handle. Now a days I'm a old 24 years old. If you don't know what that means, it means I'm mentally 24 years old and physically 80 years old. I'll be walking around the house like this *walks around like an old lady holding my back* and my mom will be looking at me and ask "what the hell are you doing?" And I'll yell back to her "what does it look like? My back hurts!!" I look outside "Get the hell of my lawn, you mangy kids!!" Anyways that obviously means I am a young millennial, which basically means that I remember when Netflix was delivered to your front porch and when Blockbuster was a thing. Also, I was told I needed to go to college or I wouldn't amount to anything. Jokes on them, I still didn't amount to anything. I got a Bachelors in Individualized Studies which means I was indecisive about my major and when I graduated I got a piece of paper basically thanking me for my participation. After 5 years of college, I got a piece of paper thanking me for participating in college. Think about that. This is what happened, I was originally going to school to become a teacher, but to become a teacher you must first waste your time taking a bunch of bullshit teaching classes like "How to teach Math" and then after about 3 years you have to submit a portfolio answering questions such as "Why do you want to become a teacher?" Maybe because I need a job and I was told the only way to get one that pays well was to go to college and I like kids sometimes and I took a course in school where I was basically a teachers assistant for 2 credits a semester and this seemed like the easiest job to get at the rip old age of 18. WRONG!! I was so very wrong!! What my teachers and professors failed to tell me was that to even get accepted into my colleges teaching program is not only do we have to answer the portfolio questions is: you have to pass 2 tests. This is what the TAKS tests were really preparing me for. One test was on Math. At this point, I have not done basic Mathematics in 2 years. The other test was on English and Grammar. I have barely passed my English courses with C's my entire life. The cards were not in my favor. You get approximately 60 minutes to finish each test. They take you into this office and you get a little locker and a key in exchange for your Drivers License. You are expected to place your phone and your purse or bag in the locker. They then place you in a separate room with desks with computer lined up against the wall. And at the opposite end of the room, smack in the center is a person that is paid to sit there and make sure you don't cheat. That is their only job, to sit there and stare at you like this *stares around room* am I making you nervous? *whispers* good. Because that is exactly how I felt the entire 60 minutes. And the thing is they don't even give you scratch paper for the math portion, just a TI-84 calculator. You know the ones that cost like 250 dollars and were fucking MANDATORY in middle school? Little secret about those calculators, they have 4 games on them. Yup. Found that out really quick. I used to sit in class on my calculator and the teachers would be none the wiser as I played the same game on my expensive calculator for the whole hour. I still play on it to this day. Anywho, no scratch paper, just an expensive calculator that I can play games on but forgot how to graph on. And I don't know about you guys, but I can't do math in my head like some people, I'm not wired that way. So, I had to go up to the creepy guy paid to stare at us and ask him for scratch paper. At one point I got so involved in solving a problem that I kept getting answers that were not multiple choice options, that I ran out of time and automatic failed 8 out of about 50 questions. A month later I found out that I somehow managed to get a B on a test I didn't finish. *whispers* I'll take it. So, the first time I turned in my portfolio, I had the tests scores that they were looking for but not the detailed answers to their profound questions. I obviously did not get into the teaching education program the first time. A year later I was allowed to turn in my portfolio again. This time I got smart, I made my sister proofread and rewrite my answers for the incentive of 100 dollars of my financial aid. *whispers* I got in. Now at this point, you're probably wondering why I told you all of this and why I don't have a Bachelors in Early Childhood Education like I intended after I went through the torture of 5 years of college and my acceptance into the TEP and the answer to that is, I showed up to the TEP orientation to be told that I had to take 2 more years of teaching courses and at that point I had been in college for nearly 5 years and I was like "There is no way in Hell that I was going to graduate after nearly 7 years of college just to teach children how to count and what the primary colors are." That was probably my biggest mistake in life. Just FYI, all of your childhoods are a lie. Red and Blue are not Primary colors. Cyan, Magenta, and Yellow are the true Primary colors according to the art wheel. To those of you that don't know Cyan can also be called Sky Blue and Magenta is a bright shade of Pink. We good? Good. The definition of a Primary color is a color that cannot be made by combining any two colors. They just exist in the world as is. Still good? Okay. Blue and Red by definition are not Primary colors because they can be made by combining two colors. Blue can be made by combining Cyan and Magenta. Red by combining Yellow and Magenta. They are by definition Secondary colors, colors that can be made by combining two primary colors. Look at that, you came out to have a good time and I tricked you into learning something, I am a teacher. I'm just kidding, I'm lying I didn't always know that. I always thought the Primary colors were Blue, Red, and Yellow just like all of you. I learned that how everyone learns things nowadays, YouTube. Anyways, moving on. The other day I couldn't sleep to save my soul, I had insomnia. And I noticed the weird way that I lay in my bed. It looks a little something like this. *walks over to a pillow and Petunia laying in the middle of the floor* One moment I'll be laying like this *places right foot on side of left knee* You think that ones weird wait until you see the next one. Next minute I'll turn over and be laying like this *place left foot on top of right knee* and then I'll turn over again and do this *pull legs up closer to my body and place them slightly apart* I don't know what this one is, it's like when Deadpool got ripped in half by Juggernaut in Deadpool 2, sorry spoilers. And his lower half has to regrow and he's standing there in front of the remainder of X-Force and Cable but his legs are that of a toddler. That's what this looks like to me, a grown ass person with baby legs trying to run away from something. And then I'll turn over AGAIN and do this *lays almost on front and places left foot of the side of right knee* know this one , this ones not even a sleep position, this is the fucking tree pose from my beginners yoga class. *Stands up and does the tree pose placing both palms together.* Just *hums yoga hum*. That's what that is right there. Haha. I got so bored one morning around 6 o'clock that I decided to clean the mess that was my closet. I had shoes thrown all over the floor of the closet and smack in the middle was a laundry basket that had all the clothes I had ever worn in 3 months. I opened the doors up *pretends to open doors* and I just screamed *screams* and then promptly fainted. Right in front of my closet. That is how messy it was. And the ironic part is that I have OCD. That mess was too much for my tiny, little OCD-riddled brain could handle at 6 in the morning. Which was ironic considering the fact that I had been living with it for 3 months and my OCD didn't seem to mind. But the minute my brain decided it wanted to clean that mess, suddenly my brain was overwhelmed. It took me approximately 2 hours to clean out the junk filled drawers in my dresser and put all of my spring/summer clothes away. Some of you probably noticed I said spring/summer clothes, that is because my autumn/winter clothes do not fit in my room anywhere. So they lay in a tote, a room away, until the temperature starts to drop, and then I would change them out. Men you don't realize this but every girl you know has more clothes than she can count, and some of those clothes, *whispers* she don't even wear. I have a half a closet full of skater dresses, that I wear once in a goddamn blue moon, just because I wanted to feel pretty that day. Interesting thing about switching clothes out, it's not even a new thing. Back in the 19-whatever's girls and women would have a hope chest that was filled with dresses for the spring/summer time when it was autumn/winter outside, and vise versa when it was spring/summer outside. I learned that story from my beautiful mother over there, because one day I pointed to her mothers hope chest and asked what it was used for. Interesting fact about me and my grandmother is that if you look at pictures of her when she was around the age of 13 sitting at the pool, my 13 year old self looked exactly like her, facial expression and all. My grandma unfortunately died of Breast Cancer 5 years after giving birth to my mother, her only surviving biological child. I say "biological child" because after my grandma had so many miscarriages and stillborns, she and my grandpa gave up and went to purchase a child *whipers* from Target. Haha. I'm just kidding, everyone knows that babies come from heaven and that storks carry them down in their beaks to a random families' front porch and leave the baby there to get stepped one when the Husband or Wife goes to check the mail. Probably the Wife, husbands are useless at running errands. You tell a man to go to the store to get 5 items and he comes back with 1 maybe 2 of the items that you had purposely written down on his arm so that he would remember everything. Do women have to do everything? Even figure out what's wrong with our own cars because we've been asking you to do it for 2 months and you keep saying "I'll take a look at it as soon as I have time." "As soon as you have time, bitch? That's right now!! You're sitting on the couch watching goddamned football and drinking beer. Guess what either you can record or pause your game for 15 to 30 minutes or you can sit there watching it and not have anything to eat for dinner, because I was so busy doing your "job", that I forgot to do my "job"." I put quotations around job because I don't understand why the cooking and the cleaning and the children-taking-care of has to be done solely by the woman and why yard work and fixing cars and sitting-on-there-all-day-watching-the-game-while pretending-to-take-care-of-the-children has to be done solely by a man. I don't work like that. Everyone can do any household job. For example, I have broken the side mirror of my moms car 2 times now. Do you think I was just like "Oh, well, I don't know how to fix a mirror I'll have to take it to Chris to get it fixed." Just FYI, Chris is a real person, he's my mechanic for things that I can't fix on my own. Hey, Chris! I didn't just give up, I did what every person in my generation do, I turned to YouTube and typed into the search bar "How to change the side mirror of a 2005 Ford Focus" *ding* Millions of videos pop up. I click on one, I watch it, I now know the basics for how to change a side mirror on a car, I took me exactly 5 minutes to learn it. How long did it take you Chris? Since then I have now replaced 3 of my mothers side mirrors. One on the drivers side that she did, and two on the passenger side that I did pulling in and out of the garage. Both times. YouTube has gotten ridiculous. Remember way back when when it was filled with music videos and people would post videos of them singing along to the songs. Nowadays, you can search anything on YouTube and find a video on it. For example type in "how to get mangy kids off my lawn" and you will most likely find a ridiculous video on how to keep children and dogs off your lawn. I love YouTube, I watch a lot of gaming videos, some Youtubers that I watch are Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, the GameGrumps (creators of the fabulous game DreamDaddy), The Fine Brothers or FBE, Graveyardgirl or Bunny, and Good Mythical Morning with Rhett and Link. Search any of these Youtubers and watch their videos, and you will not be disappointed. I love how there's a channel out there for any genre. Baking, Cooking, Make-up, Video Games, React Video, and ,my personal favorite, rant videos. Do you guys remember when Chris Crocker did the "Leave Britney Alone" video? He was ugly crying and I'm pretty sure wearing mascara and guy liner and he just keeps yelling into the camera for 30 seconds straight "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!! LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!! YOU *points at person* LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE AND YOU *points at a different person* LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!" And it just goes on like that for 30 seconds of a guy ugly crying over Britney fucking Spears. You thought girls where the best ugly criers, you were wrong, it's the gays. Gays overpower all girl powers by like a 100. A girl will be like "Look at my make up isn't it nice?" And a gay guy with jump out of nowhere add flawlessly apply FaceOff quality make up and be like "you look beautiful, do you like my sexy alien?". Anyways, I just love YouTube, I could watch YouTube video of people playing scary games that look interesting to me but I'm too scared to play *whispers * all day long.

[benigxtcr]

the nerves were practically written in bright neon colours into the lines and features of ben’s face, the attempt of a polite smile sitting crooked on his lips as if it was part of a faulty code. he hadn’t done anything. he knew he hadn’t done anything serious, least of all in a direct approach towards winnie. however, in the same nerve-wrecking horror which had him skip through the security gates of stores and airports ( which never went off, but he still expected it as if he himself was made of metal ), he rushed through the local police department, already ready to get this over with.

one. is this the first time you’ve been called to the precinct? do you have a criminal record?

a long pause of silence followed the first and presumably under any normal circumstances the easiest question, benjamin’s eyes staring blankly off into the distance as if his brain had frozen into place. “ i– i– i– “ he started, stuttering as his mind seemed to only slowly reboot again, “ i have never been here !! but i – and i promise. in fact, i will swear an oath if necessary !! that it was never malevolent, let alone with the criminal intent of harming anyone in any way, shape or form – will have an entry registered for ‘ trespassing ‘, recorded about eight months, two weeks and a few days ago. it was for a treasure hunt !! — well, not as much treasure as merely a hunt for what turned out to be a scrap piece of metal, but a scrap piece of metal hunt? doesn’t sound quite as alluring, does it? not that that matter’s right now... i guess... i guess, it doesn’t. “ because this was about winnie and not about him — not yet, anyway.

two. where were you during the evening of ms. winnipeg sanders’ disappearance? specifically between the hours of 8 and 11 pm?

a breathless huff which could almost resemble a self-ironic smile, because as obvious as the question had been, he’d hoped it would not come. “ when was it? “ the twenty-third of february, which by easy math was a saturday, and ( as odd as it may sounded, considering he was able to give the exact span of time for other events in the pasts ) that was about everything ben knew for sure. “ i was– “ he inhaled deeply, the breath shaking in his lungs, “ i was at the benbow inn !! all the way between eight and eleven. “ or at least he was about ninety percent sure he had been there. 

three. can you describe what you were doing immediately before that?

“ yes !! yes, of course. “ his head went into an immediate series of fast and frequent nods, showing the very willingness he did, matter of fact, have for answering any and all of their questions with the sincerity they wished for — unfortunately, he never remembered many details about specific dates and meetings, let alone when he had many memories with a certain person. they simply blended together; he knew everything about his best friend but it was a mere impossibility to remember a date. “ again, i was at the benbow inn, “ he muttered, hands lifting to rub his temples in an attempt to remember, his glasses pushing up in the process, “ jim and i –  that’s jim hawkins and i – were... “ a pause which was filled with the desperate exhaustion of a sigh. “ we were helping out. saturdays are, on average, the most visited days within a lot of restaurants and stores. “ which, by mere coincidence, was the complete base of his assertion: by simple probability, he had most likely been there.

four. can anyone confirm your whereabouts at this time?

his eyelids fluttered, head falling into another nod as he looked up again, hands sinking to wipe his sweating palms at his jeans. “ yeah, yeah... sure. “ and he knew he would be able to name jim once again — even if he hadn’t been in the benbow inn that night, ben was basically certain his friend would stand up for him and agree to whatever had to be agreed to ( in a way, they already had agreed on just that, hadn’t they? ), however that was the very problem ben had with it. he didn’t want to drag jim into his memory based problems. “ oh !! “ a jolt went through his shoulders, his back straightening from his slumped defensive position as he suddenly felt he’d kept silent for too long: “ everyone who was temporarily resident at the benbow inn for the time being. unfortunately, i would not know who exactly it was. “

five. how well did you know ms. winnipeg sanders?

ben paused, eyes narrowing and his knee jumping as he considered their words and whatever may be the most genuine answer to them. “ the description of ‘ well ‘ is indefinitely relative, isn’t it? “ he mused aloud, his shoulders lifting momentarily, “ i know her name is winnipeg sanders, and i know that winnipeg is the capital and largest city of the province of manitoba in canada, but i never asked whether that’s what her name is based on. furthermore, i of course have the knowledge that she owned a bakery and she had legendary self-made honey based baked goods !! i asked for the recipe for her honey muffins once, but she politely declined which i understand. it’s a family recipe. i don’t actually know whether she has a family though. i mean, she obviously would have to have parents of some sort but i do not recall ever meeting or hearing of a spouse or a relative — what was the question again? “ how ( well ) did he know her? right. “ i would consider her an acquaintance with a positive foundation, leading to friendly but mainly on the surface conversations. “

six. did you and ms. winnipeg sanders ever have beef, or a quarrel? have there been moments where you wished – even if it were just in the heat of the moment – to inflict harm on her?

“ oh god, no !! “ for once, there was no hesitation within his answer or the obvious struggle of remembering the truth. he didn’t need to think twice. “ i would never want to hurt anyone !! we are all merely carbon based life forms. i don’t believe in the existence of real reasons to harm anyone or anything, mentally or physically. “

seven. what was your reaction when you heard about the news?

“ i uhm... “ another sigh pushed past his lips, his thumb moving to scratch over a stain of oil on his jeans. the truth felt harsh to say, but it was the truth nonetheless and he knew only the truth would help the investigation. “ i don’t have any real emotional attachment to her..? i don’t want to say i felt indifferent – i don’t believe i did – but the interval of my sympathy was a little short. i have had the experience that people leave sometimes, some of them rather abruptly as well and without any prior warnings. i suppose, based on the experience alone, it was – to me, it still is, i guess – more likely that ms sanders decided to leave sunnyside. she would not be the first. i have my doubts that she’ll be the last. “

eight. when was the last time you saw ms. winnipeg sanders? did you notice anything different about her?

ben had never been one to curse in his life – consider him child friendly, if you will – and yet he could not quite help the quiet ‘ fuck ‘ from tumbling off his lips as his head fell into his hands. the exasperation was visible in his shoulders and the features on his face, the tension tugging at his muscles in his neck. “ i don’t know — i wish i knew !! i do !! i just– “ he shrugged. it had never seemed important to him to remember where winnie out of everyone was. by probability, she stood behind the counter of her bakery and truly, that was the only place where she genuinely mattered to him —  either she was there and he could have a coffee or she wasn’t and he had to get one somewhere else. it was a simple yes or no question and he had never wondered, let alone bothered using some of his brain’s capacity to memorise where she was if she wasn’t in the baker. “ i have a bit of a memory problem. “

nine. do you know anyone who may have had any problems with her ? do you know anyone who may have had it out for her?

his lips parted, taking a deep breath as if to start another one of his on going sentences and end in the ramblings he was so very well known for. however, instead of responding to the answer in an entire monologue, ben in a rather unusual fashion chose to answer with only a single word: “ no. “

ten. have you noticed anything peculiar since the disappearance? anything special you think is worth mentioning?

his head came to shake slowly, shoulders lifting once again into the suggestion of a shrug. “ nothing, “ he muttered under his breath, a long pause of silence following yet another single worded answer. “ i am sorry. i really am !! can i leave now? if we are done here, i would like to leave. “ 

[katzuyas]

I’ve been tagged in so many things over the past couple of weeks that I honestly don’t even have much more bookmark space left in my browser RIP so I finally decided to do all of it at once, hence the title and the rest of this longass post under the cut

bc there’s a lot of the tag games down there and tagging a million people would be annoying, I’m gonna tag 10 of you to grab a dice and roll it to figure out which meme you’re tagged for ^u^)b if you roll the same number twice, count that meme as the start from which to count and roll again! I hope you like this idea, but it’s only a suggestion so feel free to do whatever you want tbh?

@sweet-vitya, @gabzjones, @and-then-yoi-happened, @etherealalchemist, @joeys-piano, @quadruplyyours, @yuliaplisetskaya, @dreaming-fireflies, @teekettle, @iwritebetterthanispeak, @chessala

enjoy, if you want! 💕💕

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thank you for the tag!!

rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers that you want to get to know better.

1. Name: kat

2. Nicknames: same tbh

3. Height: 170cm

4. Orientation: who knows who cares (it’s pan)

5. Nationality: polish

6. Favorite fruit: mango, cherries, I love watermelon too but the seeds piss me off too much to fully enjoy it

7. Favorite season: anything that doesn’t make me sweat off my skin but isn’t also freezing my toes is more than fine with me ^u^)b

8. Favorite plant: I don’t think I have any favs here

9. Favorite scent: I have this yankee candle ‘sweet candies’ and I can just DIE wrapped in that scent holy sheet (when it comes to perfume tho I’m a sucker for the original chloe, but I also love calvin klein’s euphoria bc it’s just Fresh)

10. Favorite color: any pastel really

11. Favorite animal: MY SWEET PUPPER HINA (so yes, dogs)

12. Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffee sometimes, TEA AND GREEN TEA AND VANILLA CHAI!!!!!!, hot chocolate is a nope

13. Average sleep hours: I always try for 8h bc otherwise I’m a zombie, but it doesn’t always work out so... I’m a part-time zombie anyway lmao

14. Dog or cat person: ISN’T THE PIC PROOF ENOUGH THAT I LOVE MY FURRY DOGGO SON

15. Favorite fictional character: victor nikiforov. that’s it. that’s all. we can all go home now

16. Number of blankets you sleep with: 1 + a duvet bc I like being cosy

17. Dream trip: japan, always. but another one would be a trip to the harry potter universal store or the noble collection store I guess

18. Blog created: who even remembers this pffff (somewhen in august 2011 I think)

19. Number of followers: I’m just gonna say it’s a four number figure ;3c

20. Random fact: I’m currently rewatching lord of the rings and procrastinating writing so YES I’M A NERD AND A BAD PERSON AHAHA //sweats

tagged by @story-kat -- thanks love, I actually really like these so it was great fun to do 💕

Rules: using only song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and then tag people

artist/band: one ok rock

what is your gender: stuck in the middle

how do you feel: jaded

if you could go anywhere: start again

favorite mode of transportation: mighty long fall

your best friend: wherever you are

favorite time of day: taking off

if your life was a tv show: liar

relationship status: hard to love

your fear: bombs away

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thanks again!! ahaha I feel like I’ll be saying this a lot today, but you spoil me /)u(\

Rules: tag 9 people you want to know better or just because you feel like it.

Relationship status: taken ;3c

Favorite color: any pastels, really

Last song I listened to: still the lord of the rings ost

Last movie I watched: lord of the rings lol two towers ^u^)b

Top 3 tv shows: game of thrones (bc I love my fantasy shit), rein (bc I love my history shit), and american housewife (bc I love laughing and this show is Hilarious with the capital H)

Top 3 characters: victor nikiforov bc I adore him, hinata shouyou bc he’s my sunshine son and I gotta mention miyuki kazuya bc his smirks still keep me awake at night 😍😍😍

What I’m currently reading: honestly? my own writes bc I have no time for anything other than editing orz

tagged by @themayflynans and @endlesscloudsoftime, thank you both!! 💕

A - Age: 26

B - Birthplace: poland

C - Current time: 11:50am

D - Drink you last had: just some coke

E - Easiest person to talk to: nowadays it’s gotta be @saniika and @and-then-yoi-happened bc I know I can be as salty and upset as I feel when I talk to them and that it’s alright to just let it all out which is something I wish for everyone to have 💕

F - Favourite song: don’t have one tbh

G - Grossest memory: back in elementary school my class was in warsaw to see the big zoo there and one of the chimpanzees just projectile shat all over our teacher and it was simultaneously the most awesome and the fucking WORST bc she smelled like shit the whole trip back home ugh

H - Horror yes or horror no: depends on what kind of horror but generally? meh

I - In love?: no idea tbh but definitely comfortable in my relationship

J - Jealous of people?: you’ve no idea. jelly and bitter.

L - Love at first sight or should i walk by again?: walk by and actually tell me you’re interested bc I’m a blind pan who is easily confused

M - Middle name: magdalena ;3c

N - Number of siblings: 0

O - One wish: Been keeping Salty’s answers here - yes, to learn to love myself.

P - Person you called last: my mom lol she’s the only one I call, really

Q - Question you are always asked: "so when will you start looking for a job?”

R - Reason to smile: VICTUURI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S - Song you sang last: oh man I don’t even remember, I don’t really sing out loud

T - Time you woke up: these days? 6:30am

U - Underwear colour: sea green-blue, turquoise?

V - Vacation destination: I’m going to japan next year to see ice adolescence even if it kills me

W - Worst habit: biting the inside of my cheeks bloody

X - X-rays: my hand when I had a small accident playing badminton, my jaw for my braces

Y - Your favourite food: PIZZA HELLO

Z - Zodiac sign: gemini ;3c

tagged by @theexitgarden and @endlesscloudsoftime, bless you both and thank you for thinking of the old me 💕 

1st RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better:

we’ll be skipping this one bc of reasons //sweats

2nd RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory- I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concert

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smartphone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

tagged by @story-kat and @endlesscloudsoftime (astea m’dude ur tagging me in everything and I love you for it)

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SONG(S) TO SING?

I will most often hum or mouth lyrics when I’m writing and my brain gets distracted so it usually is some sort of acoustic cover of a rather popular song, like despacito? lol WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE FLOWER/TREE/PLANT?

I don’t have one tbh FAVOURITE COLOURS?

anything pastel!! WHAT DO YOU ALWAYS DOODLE?

I don’t anymore but it used to be some random squigglies??

HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR COFFEE/TEA?

2.5 teaspoon of sugar into both + 1/4 milk/cream into the coffee and 1/4 cold water into the tea FAVOURITE CANDLE SCENT?

SWEET CANDIES FROM YANKEE CANDLE. BURY ME IN THIS. SUNRISE OR SUNSET?

sunrise bc I don’t even see sunsets anymore (I’m asleep then lol) WHAT PERFUME DO YOU WEAR?

the original chloe is what I like most but I would die for dior’s j’adore, it’s so nice 😍😍😍 in the summer I’m wearing masaki’s fluo tho bc it’s sweet and summery

WHAT’S YOUR GO-TO DANCE MOVE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE?

butt wiggling? maybe? idk man I never really thought about it? lol FAVOURITE QUOTE?

“Because people don’t have wings, we look for other ways to fly.” -- somehow this one always sticks with me bc it’s so beautiful and vivid that you’d never say it’s from a japanese cartoon lmao

FAVOURITE SELF CARE ROUTINE(S)?

sleeping, kicking back and watching some dumb movie that won’t make me think of anything but how dumb it is

FUZZY SOCKS OR HOUSE SLIPPERS?

both? I like fuzzy socks in winter but in summer I go barefoot but sometimes u gotta have something between your skin and the floor so = slippers WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR EYES?

brown

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE EYE COLOUR ON OTHERS?

I don’t honestly care but blue eyes when they’re very light creep me out somehow FAVOURITE SEASON? WHY?

don’t have one but as long as it’s not too hot or too cold I’m good NECK, CHEEK, OR NOSE KISSES?

depends on what you want to achieve? neck kisses will have me melting, cheek kisses smile and nose kisses giggle and possibly blush so YEA THERE’S THAT

WHAT DOES YOUR HAPPY PLACE LOOK LIKE?

it’s my room. that’s it. this is my happy place

FAVOURITE BREED OF DOG?

ANY DOGGO IS A GOOD DOGGO AS LONG AS IT’S NOT THOSE SMOL ONES WHO BITE UR ANKLES FOR NO REASON DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE MARRIED?

idk, I mean yes I’d like to be married one day but I’m not really in any hurry to get there? CURSIVE OR PRINT?

I don’t honestly care

FAVOURITE WEATHER?

cloudy but not too cold

tagged by @story-kat, thanks for the tag babe!!

Rules: bold what you prefer and tag 10 people.

coffee or tea

early bird or night owl

chocolate or vanilla

spring or fall

silver or gold (BOTH! BOTH IS GOOD)

pop or alternative

freckles or dimples

snakes or sharks

mountains or fields

thunderstorm or lightning

Egyptian or Greek mythology

ivory or scarlet

flute or lyre

eyes or lips

witch or fairy

opal or diamond

butterflies or honeybees

macaroons or eclairs

typewritten or handwritten letters

secret garden or secret library

rooftop or balcony

spicy or mild

opera or ballet

London or Paris

Vincent van Gogh or Claude Monet

denim or leather

potions or spells

ocean or desert

mermaid or siren

masquerade ball or cocktail party

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thanks for this omg I actually wanted to do this one!! 💕💕

THE AO3 TAG GAME:

WHAT IS YOUR TOTAL WORD COUNT ON AO3?

869 938! holy sheet I’m so close to 1mil???? wowowow o.O

HOW OFTEN DO YOU WRITE?

I try to write every day, but these days (with renovations going on and my sleeping schedule all fucked up) it’s really hard to find the time and focus to do it orz

DO YOU HAVE A ROUTINE FOR WRITING?

I actually do! or I did when I was still regularly writing lol it was something like this: cracking open an energy drink, lighting up my fav scented candle, booting up itunes and my writing playlist and generally just spending 5-6h just writing 💕  

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE KINKS/TROPES/PAIRING?

kinks: pet play, public or semi-public play, voyeurism, doggy style, also actually BOTTOM VITYA,      

tropes: reverse au, time travel, famous aus,

pairing: victuuri. no seconds. we die like man and only stan one (1) gay ship

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE FIC OF YOURS?

I don’t necessarily have an absolute fav but a fic that I still remember fondly and am beyond sad that got little to no attention is: if there’s a will, there’s a way bc I worked my ass off for it and I love every bit of it so? give it a read if you want to?

YOUR FIC WITH THE MOST KUDOS?

dazzle me with gold which will be getting an update this weekend ;3c

ANYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING?

recently? everything. I’m just broken and idk how to fix it bc I can’t even find a good moment to try so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

NOW SOMETHING YOU DO LIKE (ABOUT YOUR WRITING)?

how sweet and soft everything is when I’m in a good mood bc victuuri deserves this kind of love and I’m so happy writing it for them 🙏🙏🙏

tagged by @amaanogawa, thanks so much ems!!!

1) How many works in progress to do you currently have in progress?

one actual wip and like... 5 more that just sit and wait their turn? //sweats

2) Do you/would you write fan fiction?

rip that’s all I write too... tbh I used to write original fiction before but I find myself much less constricted by fanfic? I can explore the characters here more than I can in original fiction where worldbuilding takes most effort

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

oh definitely paper! if I could I’d buy printed out fanfic too!

4) When did you start writing?

I was about 12 I think? it all started with harry potter, like everything else has, and I regret not a second of it!

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

sometimes when i get very excited about what i’m writing i’ll tell my fandom friends about the specific AU that i’m writing about but in terms of reading the full length fic, i don’t have anyone that i let read before anyone else. it’ll be on ao3 for everyone at the same time.

6) Where is your favourite place to write?

my desk, my pc. I can write on my phone but I like to edit as I go and it’s hard to do on the phone.

7) Favourite childhood book?

do I even need to say it? harry potter

8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?

for fun, but with the aim of possible future publication maybe?

9) Pen and paper or computer?

always computer. i have only recently begun writing fics on my phone because i’ve been traveling a lot and i don’t always have my laptop on my person, but it’s still much more comfortable to sit down and type on a proper keyboard.

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

at my uni, yes. and it completely sucked bc they didn’t teach anything, just had us write random shit for 3 years so eh

11) What inspires you to write?

everything? like, any random thing or thought I’m instantly trying to weave into my writing, turn it into a prompt. every new experience is just a basis for me to write on.

but if you’re asking WHY I write: I don’t even know, I’ve never thought about it? it’s kind of like asking why I breathe ahaha I just do? it’s a part of me? idk man idk

tagged by @themayflynans, thanks for this love!!

7/7/7 tag

The rules are as follows: Go to page 7 of your WIP, go to the seventh line, share seven sentences, and tag 7 more writer-bloggers to continue the challenge.

oh wow ok this is a difficult one bc I don’t think I even have a wip 7 pages long //sweats let me see... aha, okay, I found one! from back in march when I asked people to send me over some numbers for one of those writing memes and @theexitgarden I believe (??) sent me the prompt “I don’t think anyone could be as lovely as you” for victuuri and I kind of got a blind!victor au from it?? wELP here’s the fragment of it:

His music is vibrant in a way that he couldn't play on his piano alone and the clap of the blades that he can hear from the speakers of his TV makes him only more certain – this boy, Yuuri Katsuki, is skating to the sound of Victor's soul as if it's his own.

He never notices the tears that well up in his eyes until they roll down his cheeks and Makkachin presses against his side, whimpering in concern. Victor runs a trembling hand through her soft fur and takes a deep breath. And then, he decides.

"Yasha," he says when his former coach, his father in all but blood picks up Victor’s call. "I want to do this."

And he does it.

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime again, boy you spoil me ahaha

1. Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?

I have no idea tbh bc even the characters I don’t like wouldn’t be exactly boring, so??? I honestly don’t know

2. What problem or situation did TV / movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out it wasn’t? (i’m lowkey taking a jab at hsm because thanks Disney for making me think high school would be awesome)

hooking up with people ALL THE TIME when you’re in your 20s bc wtf what a bold-faced lie omg

3. What would be on the gag reel of your life?

"how many times can kat click her tongue at random strangers who piss her off by breathing the same air?” and a manip of all the eyerolls I do bc let me tell you... THERE’S A LOT

4. What does “infinite” mean to you?

my love for victor nikiforov

5. If your life was a movie, what songs would be on the soundtrack?

definitely lots of acoustic vibes and harry potter tunes and I can bet your ass that I’d have the yeah yeah yeah ost from yoi bc it’s such a banger and I LOVE IT but also dramatic classical violin and piano bc they pull on my heart and I am weak

6. What item would be your top choice to make into a horcrux?

honestly? my phone probably. I don’t necessarily have other things close to me that I’d use with enough heart to be of any significance to me

7. Who would play you in a movie about your life?

??? no idea lol I’d love for it to be katherine mcnamara bc 1) we share names, 2) her red hair is gorgeous and I’m a redhead, 3) SHE is gorgeous and I’d love to be portrayed by someone that hot 😍😍😍

8. Most relatable scene from any book/movie/anime/etc.?

yuuri’s little gasp when he first saw victor skating bc HARD SAME MY SWEET SON HARD SAME

9. If you were shrunk down and somehow got stuck in a blender, how would you get out?

I’d jump from side to side of it to try and rock it a bit and see if I can flip it over and get out that way? idk man what is this question lol

10. Would you count manga as a piece of literature? Why or why not?

ofc I would? honestly, some manga have even better storylines than written fiction why WOULDN’T it be counted as a piece of literature

11. compliment yourself. (joey, you’re just to freaking good to at making up questions).

oh man... //sweats umm??? good job me on not breaking down yet bc the renovations keep being awful and you’re handling it well?? maybe lol

tagged by @theexitgarden, thanks love, once more!

RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better.

Three Fandoms:

Yuri!!! on Ice

Ace of Diamond

Haikyuu!!

The First Character You Loved:

victor. he’s voiced by suwajun, do I really need to say more?

miyuki!! gosh I do love my asshole sons snarky and mean

hinata bc he’s a ray of sunshine and I even named my doggo after him 💕

The Character You Never Expected To Love So Much:

I gotta copy you garden bc chris took me by surprise too! my love for him started from that little sad look he gave us in the kiss and cry and it blossomed beautifully over time ahhh

sanada omg?? he is literally baseball kuroo so I was not expecting it but I fully embraced it lmao

iwaizumi bc I’m not one to like the mothering types but he’s??? actually so kind and sweet under all that harsh Manly facade it’s so cute

The Character You Relate To The Most:

victor, I’d say, or so I like to think

honestly? miyuki. just look at my url lol

oikawa, probably...

The Character You’d Slap:

I wouldn’t actually, but yurio deserves a good kick on the butt

um??? kataoka? bc TF U MEAN U DON’T KNOW WHO THE ACE SHOULD BE WE KNEW IT FROM THE FIRST CHAPTER YOU DUMBASS

early tsukki bc he’s could use it tbqh

Three Favorite Characters (in order of preference):

victor, yuuri, chris

miyuki, eijun, mei

hinata, kuroo, oikawa

A Character You Liked At First, But Don’t Anymore:

no one like that in yoi tbh, my love is only growing

kataoka lol

umm???? idk

A Character You Didn’t Like At First But Do Now:

seung-gil, I’d say. he grew on me lol

raichi, I guess??

to say tsukki, I’d have to actually like him now but it’s more difficult than that bc I didn’t like him at first but now can tolerate him so?? does it count?

Three OTPs:

victuuri, phichimetti, and the third would be very problematic bc I honestly don’t ship anything else in yoi?

miyusawa, chrisawa, sanasawa

KUROHINA YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, oihina, bokuhina

tagged by @sleep-furiously, thanks for the tag, love!!

post five facts about myself ❤

I have a sweet doggo who is the light of my life 💕

I write good shit sometimes

I believe I have good taste

I’m a snark machine when certain buttons are pressed

patience levels run at 0%

wow ok this was A LOT to go through and it took me like 3h to do this holy sheet but at least I had fun and now I have my firefox bookmark free so that’s awesome ahhh!! thanks so much again to everyone for the tags, you guys are amazing and I’m lucky to have you 💕💕💕💕

[honeylikewords]

okay so now that we have a good understanding of who Benny is, do u got some of those good good hcs for him? let all those benny emotions out my frond

thank u for enabling me, i need enabling

for anyone curious, here is the post talking about and explaining who Benny is! also, here’s a link to the trailer for the movie he’s from! now, without further ado, let’s play a game called “K Gets Self-Indulgent And Cries A Lot About A VERY Unheard-Of Character From A Largely Unknown Body Of Work!”

hfjdkjf okay so here we go

Benny is actually really good at doing internal, rapid calculations. He learned to go quick calculations in his head while doing football in order to tally scores and to do the math on how many (and what kind) of goals his team would need to score, how far down the field they’d have to move, etc. He’s also got a bit of a natural gift for statistics and they come to him easily. However, he doesn’t consider himself very smart, so he never talks about it, and would HATE to be labelled as a number-crunching geek.

Benny can play guitar and enjoys it. He never studied, but learned from his dad and from trying to emulate records he’d play in his room. He had a band briefly during high school comprised of himself and a few of his friends. They were called the Rough Riders. They were terrible.

Benny gets skittish around cats but loves dogs. The only reason he didn’t have a dog with him on the streets is because he didn’t wanna subject a dog to his shitty lifestyle, and would prefer a dog be able to live in a comfortable home with regular food and a loving family rather than have to sleep on the streets with a smelly, weird loser. Growing up, he has a German Shepard named Yankee. Unfortunately, Yankee didn’t make it out of the house fire. Still, every time Benny sees a German Shepard, he thinks of Yankee, both with fondness and melancholy. If he were ever to get a dog again, he’d want to adopt a shelter dog or pound puppy, and if that dog just happened to be a Shepard-mix… all the better, he’d say.

Benny never has had an actual long-term girlfriend and doesn’t really know how relationships work. The only model he has for adult relationships were his parents (who were functional, kind, and loving), and what he sees on television, in movies, on billboards (although, truth be told, he doesn’t watch much TV anymore and he rarely goes to movies. He sneaks into some movies every now and then, but it’s not very often). As such, all he knows about relationships is a little warped. The only relationships he’s been remotely near as of late have been manipulative, exclusively sexual, and unfulfilling. He hasn’t really bothered to seek out a girlfriend, knowing he has nothing to provide. He’d be more of a burden than a romantic prospect, and he has severe self-hate problems that make is difficult for him to imagine himself as attractive. Plus, the layer of grime and stink doesn’t do him any favors…

Benny does not think of himself as handsome. He was very popular in high school, what with his quick wit, his handsome features, and his proficiency in sports. He’s got all the makings of a great, attractive man, but he just can’t see if for himself. The incident also severely impacted his ability to properly assess himself, and he’s now more confused than ever and full of more self-hate than before. But even in high school, he was hardly aware of his handsomeness. He always considered himself to have a messed up face and unattractive features, and to be rather unintelligent. 

Benny keeps up to date with sports, even on the streets. He would fish around in trash cans for newspapers, watch the TV is bars or in store windows, listen to the radio from outside doors or next to parked cars. Sometimes, if he was lucky, he could sneak into the stadiums and watch for himself. His favorite sport is, of course, football, but he also keeps up with baseball. His favorite team for baseball is the Yankees, and for football it’s the Giants.

Benny has harsh music taste and refuses to listen to “that new trash”. He likes rap (prefers old school), likes older, vintage rock and roll, and won’t hear anything electronic. He also likes country (Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson, particularly). He likes to go to older, more low-key bars and watch young people play at open mics because it reminds him of when he used to play.

Benny often talks about how he needs to keep moving, but often fantasizes about getting out of New York and moving to a small town in the middle of nowhere where no one knows him and the cost of living is low. He’d buy a small house, get a dog, get a job. He’d prefer to work for himself, obviously, and is very independent, but he thinks it’d be nice. Before the fire, Benny’s biggest dream was to acquire enough money to set his parents and brother up comfortably, to go to school and graduate as a business major, and to own a sports team. Now that he’s aged and suffered, he’d be happy just to be on his own somewhere quiet, unbothered and allowed to have time to grow and heal.

Benny’s full name is Benjamin Alphonse Lambo. He’s half Italian and half Jewish. His father was an Italian Catholic and his mother was raised in the Jewish part of Brooklyn. He celebrated both religions and cultures; he is mostly religiously Catholic but culturally Jewish. He still celebrates Christmas and Hanukkah, even though both holidays remind him of his parents in a heart-aching way.

Benny’s favorite season is the transition between winter and spring, when things finally start to warm up. New York burns and sweats in the summer, and freezes in the winter. The falls can be bitter cold, but they’re usually bearable, but spring is best, even if it rains a lot. The seasons are harsh out there on the streets, but spring is often pleasant. The nights are cool and slightly damp, but in a refreshing way, and the days are sunny and warm without being overbearing. It’s the easiest season to endure, and also his favorite even aside from practicality; he likes the greenery of the trees and the blooming of the flowers. Everyone seems to be in a better mood with the return of the sun, and he feels more at ease. 

Benny has a terrible temper and is not patient at all. He will not sit through the trailers at the movies. He will not wait in lines. He always likes to try and find the fastest, most efficient way to do things. He has a bit of an instant-gratification problem, and hopefully can be balanced out by spending his time with someone who is patient and enduring instead of short-fused like him.

Benny used to want to be a father as good as his dad was, but now severely doubts his ability to be a good spouse or parent. He still, in the back of his mind, wishes he could be part of a family, but it’d take a very long time, a lot of therapy, and a lot of internal growth before he’d ever be ready to leap that hurdle.

Benny’s favorite foods are super simple, but he hasn’t had a good meal in years, so even the most basic meals are like haute cuisine for him. If he was ever able to eat a homecooked meal again, he might break down crying from joy. His old favorites used to be pizza, spaghetti, fried salmon, and anything grilled. His favorite fruits and vegetables are apples, peaches, strawberries, potatoes, peppers and carrots. He likes food that has a good, strong bite to it. He also is really fond of hard candies and likes to crunch them noisily.

Benny hates seeing kids homeless and will make a more concerted effort to get them to safety than he would ever make for himself. He knows he’s beyond saving, but he refuses to see young children or teenagers put into his situation. They deserve to go to school and have bright futures, safe futures, happy futures. He gets furious with the system that prevents them from getting what they need, and has been known to get off his ass and work to make sure they get processed properly. He will put up a huge stink to make sure of it.

Benny can’t draw and has terrible handwriting. His hands are kinda shaky and so he has trouble writing out clear and distinct characters. Semi-related, but he also has a strained gate and walk because of an injury he sustained to his leg several years ago. He limps and walks almost bow-leggedly now, and it’s quite the strut to behold.

Benny doesn’t read much “literature” but was really fond of comic books growing up, so he wants to see all the Marvel/DC movies. It’s kind of adorable to see how psyched he gets. Even if they’re not “good”, he doesn’t mind. His favorite heroes are Batman, Superman and Punisher and Iron Man. He also loves Spider-Man and Wolverine!

It’s been years since Benny ate ice cream, and he misses it sometimes. His favorite kind of ice cream was a Neapolitan sundae with hot fudge and a cherry on top, and he liked to eat them with his brother. It was kind of their thing to make sundaes and have competitions to see who could make a “better” sundae. He misses those days a lot.

I have a billion more but for now I will leave you with these because if I keep writing I won’t ever stop

[donghun-s]

the very large sp3arb tag

so @sp3arb has tagged me in a total four tags recently and i’m finally getting around to all of them!! tysm for all the tags, meri (btw i love your name?? i think its super cute!) and i hope you learn a bunch of unnecessary stuff abt me lmao (under the cut bc this is a long ass post)

i dont have a name for this tag

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

im not tagging anyone bc im bad at things and most ppl i wanna know about, meri has already tagged so

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo - I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know- I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority  - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie  - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages [i don’t speak two, i speak one and sign in another] - I have made a new friend in the past year

alphabet tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

I was tagged by Roxanne ( is it ok if I call you Roxy? I like Roxy) Actually @lxx-fxlix  And for some reason it did not give me the notification you did, I was casually stalking your blog when I saw:

A: age? 16 (01 liner)

B: birthplace? North Carolina

C: current time? 7:53 pm

D: drink you had last? Arnold Palmer (half sweet tea, half lemonade)

E: easiest person to talk to? for me, it’s my irl best friend gwen and my best friend on here, krys

F: favorite song? oof i’m super indecisive so i’m just gonna commit to mayday by got7 (it always changes but mayday has stayed on my constantly rotating playlist for nearly six months now; most are on for six weeks, max)

G: grossest memory? uh probably when one of my swim lesson kids tried to eat a bug (they were like four) and i had to make them spit it out into my hands 

H: hogwarts house? proud slytherin!!

I: in love? i love a lot of people, but i’m not IN love

J: jealous of people? not anymore, my self-esteem has gotten so much better in past years

K: killed someone? uhm a couple of times in fics (*cough* jinjin in not like this *cough*)

L: love at first sight or should i walk by again? not love but pls walk by again bc i’m probably enjoying your aesthetics

M: middle name? christine

N: number of siblings? one, an older sister

O: one wish? to adopt a kid with no family or an unhealthy one (obvs when  older and financially stable)

P: person you called last? my sister called me yesterday morning, and before that i had called my friend to tell him abt a near death experience when i was driving

R: reasons to smile? something good will happen to you, you’ll meet someone wonderful, and there’s always new experiences to happen

S: song you sang last? poet by bastille (an underrated fave)

T: time you woke up? about 8 am

U: underwear color? light heathered grey

V: vacation destination? i’d love to go to greece someday! santorini would be my first choice, and then my great-grandparents old village near thessaloniki

W: worst habit? probs my dermatillia (picking at acne on my face until it bleeds, then picking at the scabs, leaving a bunch of scars that will never go away)

X: x-rays? i got one on my tailbone one time, two years after i sprained it bc my mom didn’t believe me

Y: your favorite food? uhhh most anything tbh; i quite like the honey butter chicken sandwich from pdq

Z: zodiac sign? libra

✨ Fun Facts Tag ✨

Rules for this are:

Have fun with it!  

Tag some of your mutuals

1) Favourite colours:

orange!! and after that, any kinds of pastel or muted darks

2) Favourite song at the moment:

lotto by exo has been on replay in my head, my car, and my earbuds

3) Last book you read:

the sun and her flowers by rupi kaur

4) Last TV show you watched:

i tried to watch part-time idol bc hyunbin from jbj was in it, but within the first 15 minutes they set up an unnecessary relationship so i had to nope out of there real hard; i then reverted back to rewatching white collar for the fifth time

5) Last movie you watched:

does john mulaney’s nerflix comedy special comeback kid count?? if not, probably nightmare before christmas way back around christmastime

6) If you have a pet whats their name?:

four dogs: pheonix, kino, midge, and bess; three horses: little man, gem, and andy (ironically i’m allergic to dogs and horses, and my dad keeps buying more)

7) If you have siblings how many?:

one, my older sister

8) Favourite thing to do on a weekend:

i love doing my swim lessons and seeing all my kids!! i haven’t been able to lately bc of the weather, 

9) Best tumblr friends:

i only talk to @cheesyramynry on a daily basis, but i have a lot of blogs that i consider friendly acquaintances or casual friends as well!!

10) Favourite thing about yourself:

i value my compassion and empathy above all else; i am very much the mom friend and love to be it

11) Favourite memory:

ah i have so many; i think rn i’m gonna go with this past christmas, bc it was my last one with my grandfather

12) 3 weird habits:

swallowing gum, taking all my pills in descending size order, i tend to mimic how a singer sounds when i sing along to the song (ex: if they have a british accent, i’ll subconsciously sing in a british accent; if they stress certain syllables in certain ways, i’ll do it too)

13) What would you call your style?:

comfortable (stretchy jeans, t-shirts, hoodies) and with a few signature Gay Things (jean jacket, flannels, oversized mens’ button ups, a couple gay/bi pride shirts)

14) Odd talent:

if i have lyrics in front of me to a song i’ve never heard before, i can predict the pattern of the tunes and rhythm and sing along the first time

15) Do you have a tumblr crush?:

literally all of aroha and all of the sk fandom (y’all are the loveliest fandoms i’ve ever been a part of)

the stray kids tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post, and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

I’ve decided that in celebration of Stray Kids pre-debut album I needed to create a tag. The ultimate goal for The Stray Kids Tag is to learn about your Tumblr mutuals, and have fun answering the Stray Kids related questions!  Here we go:

1: When did you decide to join the Stray kids fandom?

i saw a thread of information abt the suspected nine members before they were officially announced and was like ‘yes i must stan them and love them with all of my heart.’ so uh,,,,, back in august or september??

2: What is your favorite episode of Stray Kids? uhm, i’m gonna expose myself rn and let y’all know that i’ve never actually seen a full episode of the show; as soon as i heard it was gonna be a survival show, i knew that i couldn’t watch it bc my heart was too weak and i was emotionally incapable of becoming too invested while watching it; but from clips, i quite like the episode with the 3:3:3 mission, and also the last episode when all nine were reunited and told they were going to debut together

3: Who would you say is your bias in Stray kids?

my initial one was chan, and they i got rlly confused, and then slowly came to realize that it was jeongin (anything else after that is a fucking mess)

4: Who would you say is your bias wrecker in Stray kids?

literally kill me all of them bias wreck me so hard bUT hyunjin, jisung, seungmin, and chan have been wrecking me so hard in particular lately

5: What line would you want to be apart of in Stray kids? uHHH not dance line bc swimmers have 0 coordination on land; i quite like singing even tho i’m not good at, so probably that, but i can also hit all of chan’s english rap parts in 3racha songs, and keep up with lafayette’s raps in hamilton, and a lot of the english rappers i like too so uh,,, sign me up for rap line too

6: What is the first song you heard of Stray kids? hellevator

7: What is the first song you heard of 3racha? i think it was either hoodie season or runner’s high

8: What is your favorite song on their pre-debut album?

young wings or school life or yayaya (or grr or 4419 or glow or hellevator)

9: What is a concept you’d like to see Stray Kids try in the future?

i love their current optimistic and slightly rebellious teenager concept rn bc its an Eternal Mood; but i always love myself a soft boyfriend concept 

10: if you could meet with the members of Stray kids for one day what would you say to them?

how proud of them i am, and how proud of themselves they should be; i would tell them about how they’re saying things that resonate deeply for their fans and i love that they’re talking abt real world problems; i would also make sure to tell them (chan and 3racha especially) to make sure to rest more, and eat well, and take care of themselves emotionally as well as physically; and finally i’d like to tell jeongin how wonderful he is and that he’s doing so much at such a young age (lmao he’s actually eight months older than me but that’s no the point) and to never lose his cute little smile

finally done!! meri, if you actually read all of this, uh thank you????? i hope you now know everything you wanted to know abt me, and probably more than you wanted to know

i’m bad at tagging people, so if you also made it this far and haven’t done some of these tags, choose one, or a couple, or all of them and do them yourself!! just say that i tagged you!!

[imaginemycroftholmes]

Mycroft Submission Form

I’ve been flirting with the idea for awhile now, so sure, why not?

Name: Amanda

Nationality: US

Age: 29

Personality Type: ISFP (or so the Internet says…)

Level of Education: HS diploma

Best Subject: English

Worst Subject: Algebra

Favorite Subject: I had a few favorites; Biology/Earth Science, English, History and Art

5 Hobbies (if applicable): Most of my pastimes are the usual things: reading, drawing and the like. I also love to write, and hand-in-hand with that I do a lot MORE reading (which I tend to refer to as “research”) trying to make what I write more believable or at the very least less nonsensical. But I do learn interesting if mostly useless tidbits here and there. I also frequently enjoy walking on nature trails or in parks in my area, particularly if they’re around water.

Favorite Genre of Music/Movies/Books: I’ll start with the easiest half of this question. My taste in books and movies is pretty much the same thing; fantasy. Futuristic, medieval, dystopian, superheroes, magic; I love it. As for music, that’s a little harder to pin down.

Last song you listened to on repeat: I actually don’t recall what song I last listened to on repeat, so instead I’ll tell you the song that’s been stuck in my head. It’s Art of War by Anberlin.

Last phrase you said to another living person: “I tried.”

How many blankets do you sleep with: No more than 3, but it has to be pretty cold before I resort to a third blanket.

7 note worthy skills: I like to cook, and I have no qualms about trying out new recipes (though I make no promises about results). I’m rather articulate and have a deep fondness of words (which I don’t use very often because most of the people I deal with day to day wouldn’t get/appreciate it). I like to sing, well enough to my own ears. I’m a good listener, empathic perhaps to a fault, and I’m good with keeping secrets.

7 noticeable sins: Honestly, I’ve been guilty of all seven at one time or another.

Allergies/impairments/illnesses: My first stint in the hospital three years ago leads me to believe I’m allergic to the antibiotic Bactrim. Apparently it makes my immune system try to kill me.

Level of Intelligence on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being dumb, 2 being below average, 3 being average, 4 being above average and 5 being genius): I’d say I’m probably average. Maybe a shade above.

Level of Fitness on a scale of 1 to 5( 1 being obese, 2 being overweight, 3 being average, 4 being fit and 5 being skinny): This one’s a 2.

Level of Attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being Anderson, 2 being below average, 3 being average, 4 being above average and 5 being Mycroft): Again, I would say average, but like most people I could be bias one way or another.

Feline, canine or both: I love how easy-going most dogs are, but I feel like it’s more rewarding when a cat likes you. Currently I have a dog and a cat.

Confidence Level on a scale from 1 to 5 (1 being nonexistent, 2 low, 3 average, 4 above average and 5 Sherlock): I’m going to say 2.5 for this one. It’s not great, but it’s not what it was. And I’m working on it.

Position in the Family (oldest, youngest, middle): I’m the oldest. My brother is 8 years younger than me and we’re pretty close.

Eye Color: I’m told they’re hazel, but closer to the blueish-green side.

Hair Color and Length: Sandy brown, cut just above my shoulders. It gets lighter in the summer time.

Height: 5'7, give or take.

Combat level on a scale 1 to 5 (1 being useless, 2 being somewhat capable, 3 being average, 4 being more than capable and 5 being expert): I’d like to think I’m a 3. Thankfully that’s never been tested.

Your normal dress: I work in an office, so it’s business-casual most of the week. I like dressing nicely, but I’m equally as happy in jeans and a T-shirt or sweatshirt.

How well you take rejection on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being temper tantrum, 2 being vindictive, 3 being average, 4 being can take it like a man, and 5 being like water off of a duck’s back): Handling rejection is another one of those things that’s a little tough to pin down. Humans are essentially pack animals, we’re wired to want to belong and be accepted. Though some of us have had more experience with it than others. That being said, I’d be between 2 and 3 on this one. I wouldn’t turn vindictive, though.

Languages known: I took American Sign Language and Spanish in school, but that of course was years ago. I did well in ASL, but was nowhere near conversational.

Cleanliness of your bathroom on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being a crime scene, 2 being messy, 3 being average, 4 being pretty clean and 5 being perfectly spotless): It’s going to have to be a 2 on this one. Definitely due for a once-over with a Magic Eraser.

How big is your circle of friends on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being nonexistent, 2 being very small, 3 being average, 4 being large, and 5 being a massive social network): I have a good number of acquaintances, but a very small circle of people I consider to be friends.

How would you rate your mental health on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being very poor, 2 being poor, 3 being average, 4 being good, and 5 being prefect): Looking back, even as recently as a year ago, I feel like I can accurately say I am a 3.

Opinions on the current Holmes family members ( Siger Holmes, Violet Holmes, Sherlock Holmes and Eurus Holmes): Eurus is easiest, so I’ll start with her. She reminds me of the exotic snakes at the zoo; fascinating to observe and study so long as there’s a layer of thick glass between us. Sherlock’s next easiest, he’s intriguing, funny (often without meaning to be) and someone whose company I dare say I’d enjoy. Siger’s pretty precious in my opinion, I imagine the two of us would get along well; and for the most part I’d say the same of Violet as long as I keep on her good side.

Please bold the following below that applies toward your submission:

Friendship

Mentorship

Relationship

Partnership

As to the question portion, I spent quite awhile reading and re-reading and pondering. I couldn’t answer them all, but I took a shot.

Question Portion:

1) If you ask me to prove it I wouldn’t be able to, but I would assume angle C is the sum of angles A and B since the vertex of all three begin in the lower left hand corner and the rays meet in the upper right hand corner (does that even make sense?)

2) I honestly have no idea how to solve that. Math has never been my strongest subject, so I tend to stick to what I know.

3) I’ve read through this one over and over and I still can’t make heads or tails of it. I fold.

4) I would say that shooting Mr. White first would be best. He never misses, while with Mr. Gray there’s the possibility that he will miss.

5) 5+5+5+5 ≠ 555

6) I’ve been puzzling over the man in the elevator, but I can’t figure out why he wouldn’t just take the elevator all the way to his floor. Unless he has claustrophobia. Though if he had claustrophobia, why would he take the elevator at all?

7) Well if the room has no door, you could simply flick all the switches one at a time until one of them turns on the light inside, then go in. If there is a door, then I’m not sure.

9) Honestly my first thought on this one is that if John and Mary live in the same city why is he mailing her a ring? They’re in love, odds are they know each other’s addresses. Wouldn’t it be simplest to meet and give it to her in person?

13) I’m going to say C.

19) Bronze and iron I think.

24) I have always seen the dress and blue and black.

Mycroft's answer:

Well, well Amanda, you seem to have filled out everything at length but I seem to have missed your current occupation on the form.  I've gathered from other questions that you work in an office of some sort but I would be curious to know what sort of business you align yourself with. I find it very telling about a person with what kind of work they choose to pursue such as people that flock to retail have a tendency toward but the color and patterns while fast food members are more sight and smell. Very fun to decipher on a dull day in the office. While you do not address all the questions I see you still put forth the effort to answer what you could with some rationalization on your end of the spectrum and I can respect that.  For any relationship whether it be romantic or platonic requires some form of communication in order to function effectively. That being said I find it very refreshing to find someone closer to my height as you will find that being over 6 foot does come with its disadvantages. Finding clothes, walking through crowds when you're trying to remain unseen, attempting to kiss someone well below my height and closer to my chest. I will say that biology has never been one of my stronger suits as opposed to Earth Sciences (since Sherlock was keen on exploring the great wilderness as a pirate and all)  but would be amendable to glossing over one of your favorite bits of the subject over coffee or pastry at any time that you feel you are available. I cannot promise this would be a quick romance but what does it matter if we enjoy our company along the way?

 Friendship: 7.91/10

Mentorship: 9.35/10

Relationship: 6.98/10

[lairofsentinel]

As an American, that was spot on. My history teachers were specifically told they couldn't teach about a certain subject multiple times. We actually had a teacher get suspended when a parent complained that their son was being taught "blatant lies."

My Gods…. 

The “Land of freedom” according to all the films that reach these lands here. It’s sad that laws have been so twisted that being a hater is now an “opinion” that needs to be taken into account because “free speech”, or the fairy tales of creationists are considered now “knowledge” worth teaching. And there you get those people know shit about history, laws or mere sense for being unable to understand the meaning of “free speech”.

I mean, it’s not surprising about what you say, anon. Interaction with average Usians in my life (outside tumblr) gave me the idea that they truly know nothing about most things (especially in social areas). [I’m not even talking about creationists… like… WHAT? , man! read about fucking science for the Love of GOD!. they are the same people that keep calling any muslin as “fanatic” which is hilariously ironic]And even though it’s true schools are to blame for this spread ignorance, it’s also true that these institutions, according to Foucault, are places where people are indoctrinated to repeat patterns useful for maintaining the system the way it is. If you don’t have free teachers, children are doomed to be just tools for the powerful, pretty close to zombies.

However, Freire also said that schools are the most efficient institution in our modern society to produce REAL sustained change. When school teaches you critical thought, self-taught techniques, empathy (which can be learnt), and stimulates your mind to think over our current world, changes happen. And you can totally see that by giving a glimpse to the school system of USA system and Finnish one. Schools may be the key for mental slavery or freedom of mind.

I personally went to public schools and I found every kind of teacher you could find. Since a fucker misogynist as hell who kept telling girls to just worry about dishes and kitchens, to a lot of teachers who, through Literature, History and Culture taught me to learn every point of view of a situation before having an opinion. I had even a lesbian teacher who risked herself and her job just to be open to us in order to show us that lgbt community is everywhere.

And that’s the key for everything: expose yourself to all the viewpoints, learn all the sides before getting your own opinion, doubt about the only one thing teachers taught you (unless it’s math, man…. Math has only one truth and it’s always exact lol -jk).

Learning to say “I don’t know on the subject, so I have no opinion on it”. Or “I thought I was right, but I was wrong”. Those behaviours, sadly, are not taught neither in school nor in…. any other place of our society. People are always indoctrinated to turn into machines of correct answers. What society expects from us is that: being good and exact in our exams, all the time, the less you mistake, the more successful you will be. Mistakes are punished harder than bad behaviour against fellows (you failed the stupid multiple-choice? repeat the whole year. You assaulted a girl? nah, just give a note to the parents.). We are not taught that mistakes are part of life and it’s ok to fail, to learn, to change behaviours. To simply unlearn.You realise about that once you are out of the school if you kept in an environment critical enough to make you doubt about things, to make the indoctrination fail in the end.

So, I see, and many natives I met in my life told me so, USA system is the extreme of that concept of indoctrination. And it’s not by chance. Freire was right there: culture, knowledge, and critical thoughts (and empathy I would add) are the keys for changes. In a society of information we live in, being unable to process information, to make sense of it, to question it, to put it in context!, is the new way of being illiterate. A functional illiterate, who will vote to those who speak the easiest/simple/straightforward way.The other thing that USA schools stimulate a lot is competition. And knowledge is never made though competition but cooperation. Holy shit if Science does know about that. Via sharing your thoughts and opinions with others, you shape and polish them, you give them nuances, you learn a side you didn’t take into account before, you may realise you were wrong. Community and sharing change us A LOT. But hey, that’s commies bullshit, get out of here!

It always worries me that people cannot have high quality education, no matter the level (I’m not elitist and I acknowledge the several problems that academy itself has, that’s another topic, though). Especially those who live in first world countries, whose foreign policy always fucks us all. If their citizen are functional illiterates… well we are the first one in being fucked up. Not by chance many political analysts say these days that “now” first world countries are living the “third-world-count-rization” (sorry, in Spanish sounds much better: la tercermundalización de los países desarrollados), because they are going through processes that our countries lived around the 80′s and 90′s.

Anyway. When you start to learn about the History of another country, you start to understand the resentment that they may have for your own country. That gives people a bit of empathy, make them understand why this hate exists, and if they are worried about it because the injustice it represents, they may start to change things in order to generate change towards a fairer society. But the process will never start without education. High quality education. Education that Freire wanted for us all. The liberating one.

When I think about this topic, Malala comes to my mind all the time.

[jedimanda]

The Queen is here! She has been completed (at least 98% of it). I really can’t believe that I actually did it. O_O. I’m in awe with myself. My Queen Amidala cosplay is now ready to compete with. I had my first photos taken of her this past weekend with my bestie, Alexandra Lee Studios. I don’t trust anyone else with my photos besides her, truth!

Now having her done, we can now chat about the techniques I used to put her together. Beware, this post might be long, but enjoyable, I promise.

I started working on her in April of 2016, with the headpiece first. I’m glad I started there because if that would have failed, I wouldn’t have gone any further. But luckily I started gaining good ground on her. I started a worbla base for her cap that rest on my head. Not too hard, then I added details by the way of fabric paint. yup truth, I used fabric paint for all the little details you see on the headpiece. Then of course sprayed over with gold spray paint.

The giant M structure was next to build, I used a lot of things in that M. Cardboard was used as a pattern first and inner stabilizer, then I placed guiding batting around it and stuffed with poly fill to give it its round shape. Then covered that in chicken wire and then covered in duct tape. That part was messy and difficult. TRUST ME. At first I made the M too big and just kept trimming it down before I added the hair. I must say the M is attached to the gold crown by the hole I made at the top.

The M is made up of 4 wigs. I ordered cheap wigs from Amazon and ripped the wefts out of them and glued them on layer by layer. This is what gave it the weight I truly did not see till I tried it on at the end. OUCH. BUT WORTH IT!!!

After the M was “haired” I started finishing up all the gold attachments. All are made from worbla sandwiched over 1/8″ craft form. Then formed with a heat gun to the shape I need. Applied fabric paint dots, lines, and squiggles then sprayed it gold! This took a lot of time too. Next I started the hanging columns from her headpiece. It’s basically upholestry foam that I rolled up and wrapped in red brocade. Then applied the gold worbla pieces to the spots needed. It’s attached to the headpiece by two jump rings because they need to be moveable.

OK now, all the pieces are attached, now it’s time for the final additions and touches. I used like 20 yards of gold chain for the strands hanging of the sides of my crown pieces and faux jewels glued over them. Then I hand painted all the little dots through the headpiece red and blue. BOOM, headpiece is done. Now to try it on. Once I tried it on, I realized that I will be a thick wig to basically provide a cushion for my head because having just the worbla crown on my head hurts pretty bad. So the current wig I have that is under it won’t work, I need to rethink this piece and have a new wig and ponytail for Star Wars Celebration. Oh ya! The ponytail, that was interesting to play with. It’s actually my least favorite part of my costume. I hate ponytail wigs, and you really can’t put up a “non ponytail” wig up into a ponytail. Cosplayers, you will understand this. Try it and it reduces the size of the wig cap and it’s like a child size wig. Big fail, you can see the issues in my livestream of my photoshoot over on my Facebook page.

That being said, I will have to purchase a new lace from base wig and two ponytail clips to complete the under wig. Not fun, this will run me up about $85 in Arda Wigs. ugh -_- BUT lets move on.

The headpiece is completed, and I happily put it aside to focus on sewing the tunic, skirt, and robe. FINALLY. It’s sewing time, my confidence shot up like 100%. Let’s start with the tunic and skirt first…oh no wait amanda, you must start the beading…

Oh my god, the beading ok. The amount of beading I had was nuts but it was crucial to the piece. I beaded separately on nude netting for the main piece in the middle of my tunic. Once that was complete (so many hours), I attached it to my tunic over the white organza and orange fabric that was there. Then I proceeded to bead around it, using my own designs and photos I found from the movie and the Disney Parks dress. The sleeve ends will get beads…eventually. Then I hand stung the hanging beads, that was the easiest part. haha. Now let’s get to the tunic and skirt creation.

I want to list the fabrics I used for her here. Both from Fabric.com and Joann’s Tunic and Skirt fabric- 7 yards of Shantung Sateen Orange from Fabric.com

20 yards of gold 1/4″ robe trim from fabric.com

8 yards of Premier Velvet in Red from Joanns’ for the robe

Among other notions I bought were orange and red Coats and Clark thread, 10 spools of Elastic thread (for shirring technique on robe), interfacing, 30 yards of upholstery piping that I dyed to orange. Plus about 4 yards of gold netting for collar band overlay.

The tunic and skirt patterns I used were custom, I used a base bought pattern then adhered to what I needed on the dress form. The Robe pattern is actually an altered Jedi robe pattern form Simplicity.

The pleated of the tunic and skirt are 1/2 overlap pleats (i think that’s the technical term of that). Measured out on the back and ironed flat.

ASSEMBLE all the pieces together and boom, a lovely tunic and skirt. This actually was pretty simple. The fabric I bought was great, pressed nicely and served well. I used a french hem on both tunic and skirt, and left a little bit of a train on the skirt.

Robe time, ok. This was way more of a massive project that I thought. I have no clue the math I need to work to achieve certain elements I wanted. THANKFULLY my boyfriend is great at math and helped me a great bit to determine the amount of fabric I needed to buy. Once I altered the pattern for the robe, I cut out some pretty massive pieces for the textured panels at the bottom of the robe.

Now one of the main questions I get is how I created the super lush texture you see that I have my hand on. I made it buy using a sewing technique called “shirring”. Shirring is basically sewing normally but having your bobbin full with elastic thread. You must hand wind the thread on there then simply place it normally like you would a bobbin within your machine. The trick is to sew normally and the fabric will bunch underneath. It’s works great. A lot of seamstresses use this method for dresses for little kids, easy on, easy off. The only problem is the amount of fabric that you have to DOUBLE to get the desired final size you need. So one of pieces I had to cut for the bottom panels was literally a 60″ by 68″ right curved angle. dear lord… Once the pieces of velvet were cut out I then sewed a line of elastic thread vertically and horizontally with 2″ in-between. Basically looked like a checkerboard pattern on the back of the velvet. Once those pieces were done, I lined them and attached them to the robe. Next added the gold trim by doing a 2 by 2 stranded braid. Hand sewed it on. Now it’s downhill from here, I promise.

I created the collarband and sleeve band from hand dyed upholstery thread then fabric glued onto scraps of the orange fabric, once that was glued, I then overlayed some gold netting from Joanns over and “snug” stitched the overlay on. Looked like I was sewing udon noodles.

After that collar band was done. I then stepped back and wowed myself. Couldn’t believe it, the last thing I needed to do was the circle embroidery on the robe. I created the design on Adobe Illustrator then digitized it into an embroidery file using my embroidery software. 

Nest was literally 12 hours of embroidery because each circle design took 14 minutes. Had a couple of hiccups but it went well. Once that was done, she is now complete enough for a photoshoot.

A snip and a trim there, she is ready for her debut. I’m so happy to have seen this project all the way though. It took me 9 months to totally create it. A literal baby.

If you have any questions on anything, just shoot me a message! You can reach me through my contact tab. Cheers! Photo credits: Alexandra Lee Studios instagram.com/aleestudios

  The Queen has arrived. The Queen is here! She has been completed (at least 98% of it). I really can't believe that I actually did it.

[droneseco]

Learn to Program Our Future Overlords with The MotionBlock Robotics Kit

Our verdict of the MotionBlock Robotics Kit: The build quality, software, and potential of this STEAM-focused robotics kit is worth every single dollar. If your kids are excited by STEM or STEAM, the MotionBlock kit is an unmissable purchase.1010

Looking for a programmable robot to help your kids get to grips with STEM or STEAM education? Makeblock’s MotionBlock kit might just be exactly what you’re looking for—but is it just a bit too complicated for most school-age children?

What Is STEM/STEAM?

Aimed at 14 years and above, MotionBlock is a collection of robotics components that can be programmed using Scratch and Python. A 2019 Red Dot award winner (for Programmable Robot Kit), Makeblock has specifically marketed the kit as being suitable for school-age children with an interest in robotics.

Or more specifically, Science, Technology, Engineering, (optional Art), and Math. Often, to test kits like this, we recruit someone of suitable age to help assess its suitability.

However, in this case, it has not been possible, ironically due to school exams. So, I’ve channeled my 14-year-old self to review the MotionBlock kit. This might not be as ridiculous as it first seems…

Unboxing the MotionBlock

An immense collection of 144 components can be found inside the MotionBlock box. So many, in fact, that the (pretty heavy) box is subdivided into two smaller boxes, each loaded with robotics kit.

Described as “sophisticated mechanical and electronic components” these modules can be combined using simple dovetail joints and cables. Five intelligent servo blocks are included, offering 360 degrees continuous rotation and high precision. They can be programmed using a synchronizer, motion recording, or in Scratch.

Along with the servos, cables, and dovetail joints, you’ll find wheels, a ball gun, and the central computer. This is accompanied by a simple 12×16 LED dot display (mounted on the “main brain”, known as the Master Control) which can help to add some character to your robot builds. The computer is powered by a compact rechargeable battery, which comes with its own USB charger. It’s worth plugging this in for a few hours before you get started.

There’s also a box complete with a Torx screwdriver and various screws. These are required to construct the modules. For example, the swing and clamping module segments of the robot arm and grabber need to be built.

This, really, is the basis for the age grouping. While I suspect younger children could program the robot with Scratch, building the modules is certainly for older kids with superior motor skills.

What Can You Do With the MotionBlock Robotics Kit?

[amaon id=”B07QVQC3NY”]

The MotionBlock kit comes with various designs for you to try:

Fighter

Sampling Rover

Footballer

Gorilla

Off-Road Auto

Snake

Larva

Dog

Robotic Arm

Pitching Auto

These unusual builds highlight the versatility of the MotionBlock components and utilize key modules. Among these are the acceleration module, ejection module, and rotating module, as well as the swing and mechanical claw clamping modules mentioned earlier.

Underlying each build are a collection of five high-performance intelligent servos. They’re designed to imitate the behaviors of many animals, with high stability of control and strong capacity of bearing.

Pen module, suction cups, and more can be also be employed for unique, individual builds. The main module, meanwhile, features Bluetooth, enabling you to control your MotionBlock creation remotely via a mobile app or a dedicated controller. There’s also a micro USB port for connecting the module directly to your computer to upload programs.

Meanwhile, thanks to a pair of LEGO adaptors, you can also integrate your MotionBlock build with your latest LEGO project.

Building Your First Robot

Many robotics kits come with a bunch of components and modules that just snap together. A few minutes later, you’ve got a robot moving around, a program freshly uploaded via USB.

Not so with MotionBlock.

Aiming for simplicity in the review, I opted for the Robotic Arm. Instructions for this build are included in the printed manual (others are in the mobile app for Android and iOS), so it made sense to start here.

90 minutes later I was done, having constructed every servo module. Unfortunately, I still had to build the Synchronizer, a remote unit that controls the robot arm. While this was a bit faster, the entire build time was around two hours.

It’s worth highlighting here that although the Synchronizer is a useful remote, it is limited by the 25mm cable connection to the Master Control. It’s also limited by some restrictive brackets (“Stoblocks”) that prevent full motion. They appear to be provided to prevent the cables from being stretched but have the opposite effect. Better motion can be achieved without these parts.

Also, the robot arm requires calibration when used with the remote, but this isn’t the case with app-based remote control.

Getting the Build Right

Unfortunately, I ran into a problem. It seems that early in the build, I connected a component incorrectly. While I immediately fixed the issue, the damage was done.

Four 16mm screws had penetrated the case of one of the servos, resulting in the arm being non-functional. This was the servo installed in the rotating block, a key component of the arm.

This happened thanks to a simple misreading of the instructions. No unreasonable force was used. In fact, it was tougher to screw the 16mm screws correctly.

On the plus side, if I had used the instructions in the mobile app, it would have been far clearer. Here, each step is guided, with an animated illustration and an interactive 3D graphic of the components. In short, if you’re planning to buy this kit, use the manual in the mobile app.

Seized Up Servo

Reading the instructions carefully won’t prevent manufacturing failures, however. While experimenting with the Synchronizer arm, it turned out that one of the servos—ironically the one fitted in the rotating module to repair the one I damaged—had seized up.

With all builds of the MotionBlock kit requiring four or more servos, that pretty much brought things to an end.

Fortunately, Makeblock were kind enough to forward a pair of replacement servos. A few weeks later, the robot was finally up and running.

Further investigation showed that the screws were not sorted as per the labels in the box. This resulted in me using 20mm screws instead of 16mm. That 4mm difference would probably have saved the circuit board in the servo!

Once again, the moral or the story is clear: pay close attention to every step of the instructions.

Hook Up the Mobile App to Control Your Robot via Bluetooth

With your robot built, it’s a good time to sync it to your mobile device over Bluetooth. Get started by installing the Makeblock app, available for Android and iOS. While phone versions of the apps are available, we found the tablet user interface was more usable.

Syncing over Bluetooth is handled by the app (with the usual system confirmation) and is surprisingly painless. A few moments later, you’ll be ready to control your robot project. Each supported robot build has its own control interface, enabling you to steer, guide, or otherwise manipulate the construction based on the component parts.

Additional Mobile App Features

Various extras are hidden in the mobile app that can change the way you use your robot build. For example, there’s a neat little pixel art screen that lets you alter the default LED displayed on the Master Control’s display.

There’s also the option to change some default settings. For example, with the robot arm build, you can alter the strength of the arm and grabber. Note that a different surface may be required to ensure the suction cups are properly secured. We used a varnished farmhouse-style table for this review, which has various imperfections that can weaken suction.

And if you’re looking for something new to do with your robot arm, how about mounting a pen on it? The app features a drawing tool that you can use to easily program a few words, doodles or even artwork. Watching a robot write or draw is quite a sight!

The app will also display the battery status, so you can tell when your robot will need recharging.

Programming Is Simple With Scratch and Python

When you’re done with manual control of the robot, you can begin to program it with Scratch and Python.

This is easiest via the mobile app, where you can use the Scratch software to program your robot. In the case of the arm, this could be something as simple as instructing it to pick up an object and place it elsewhere. With vehicular builds, the program might be to move around. While no standard sensors are included, this should be possible regardless if you know the distances involved.

A desktop interface is also available, called mBlock 5. This features a Scratch interface that supports the conversion of the program into Python code. A version of mBlock is also available for Android and iOS. Programming in this manner can be done live, although the best results seem to be enjoyed by uploading programs directly, as you might an Arduino.

Another, less high-tech way to program the MotionBlock robot is included. This relies on programming the Master Control module directly by recording manual servo movements. For example, you might program the arm to move around, open, and close, using your hands. This action is then saved and played back, with the robot following the steps you manually programmed by manipulating it.

Reimagine Your Robot with MotionBlock Kit

By the time you’ve reach the end of your first build with the MotionBlock kit, the truth is clear. This is a truly amazing collection of projects and activities, solidly manufactured and expertly packaged and presented.

There’s literally nothing wrong with this kit, short of the ability of a 40-something reviewer to accidentally break it. Maybe the battery could last longer, or perhaps it could feature a camera module for the vehicular builds. These are minor gripes, however.

If you have STEM or STEAM-interested kids who are in the right age group, you should seriously consider the MotionBlock kit.

Enter the Competition!

MotionBlock Robotics STEM Learning Kit Giveaway

Read the full article: Learn to Program Our Future Overlords with The MotionBlock Robotics Kit

Learn to Program Our Future Overlords with The MotionBlock Robotics Kit published first on http://droneseco.tumblr.com/

[grassroutes]

Learn to Program Our Future Overlords with The MotionBlock Robotics Kit

Our verdict of the MotionBlock Robotics Kit: The build quality, software, and potential of this STEAM-focused robotics kit is worth every single dollar. If your kids are excited by STEM or STEAM, the MotionBlock kit is an unmissable purchase.1010

Looking for a programmable robot to help your kids get to grips with STEM or STEAM education? Makeblock’s MotionBlock kit might just be exactly what you’re looking for—but is it just a bit too complicated for most school-age children?

What Is STEM/STEAM?

Aimed at 14 years and above, MotionBlock is a collection of robotics components that can be programmed using Scratch and Python. A 2019 Red Dot award winner (for Programmable Robot Kit), Makeblock has specifically marketed the kit as being suitable for school-age children with an interest in robotics.

Or more specifically, Science, Technology, Engineering, (optional Art), and Math. Often, to test kits like this, we recruit someone of suitable age to help assess its suitability.

However, in this case, it has not been possible, ironically due to school exams. So, I’ve channeled my 14-year-old self to review the MotionBlock kit. This might not be as ridiculous as it first seems…

Unboxing the MotionBlock

An immense collection of 144 components can be found inside the MotionBlock box. So many, in fact, that the (pretty heavy) box is subdivided into two smaller boxes, each loaded with robotics kit.

Described as “sophisticated mechanical and electronic components” these modules can be combined using simple dovetail joints and cables. Five intelligent servo blocks are included, offering 360 degrees continuous rotation and high precision. They can be programmed using a synchronizer, motion recording, or in Scratch.

Along with the servos, cables, and dovetail joints, you’ll find wheels, a ball gun, and the central computer. This is accompanied by a simple 12×16 LED dot display (mounted on the “main brain”, known as the Master Control) which can help to add some character to your robot builds. The computer is powered by a compact rechargeable battery, which comes with its own USB charger. It’s worth plugging this in for a few hours before you get started.

There’s also a box complete with a Torx screwdriver and various screws. These are required to construct the modules. For example, the swing and clamping module segments of the robot arm and grabber need to be built.

This, really, is the basis for the age grouping. While I suspect younger children could program the robot with Scratch, building the modules is certainly for older kids with superior motor skills.

What Can You Do With the MotionBlock Robotics Kit?

[amaon id=”B07QVQC3NY”]

The MotionBlock kit comes with various designs for you to try:

Fighter

Sampling Rover

Footballer

Gorilla

Off-Road Auto

Snake

Larva

Dog

Robotic Arm

Pitching Auto

These unusual builds highlight the versatility of the MotionBlock components and utilize key modules. Among these are the acceleration module, ejection module, and rotating module, as well as the swing and mechanical claw clamping modules mentioned earlier.

Underlying each build are a collection of five high-performance intelligent servos. They’re designed to imitate the behaviors of many animals, with high stability of control and strong capacity of bearing.

Pen module, suction cups, and more can be also be employed for unique, individual builds. The main module, meanwhile, features Bluetooth, enabling you to control your MotionBlock creation remotely via a mobile app or a dedicated controller. There’s also a micro USB port for connecting the module directly to your computer to upload programs.

Meanwhile, thanks to a pair of LEGO adaptors, you can also integrate your MotionBlock build with your latest LEGO project.

Building Your First Robot

Many robotics kits come with a bunch of components and modules that just snap together. A few minutes later, you’ve got a robot moving around, a program freshly uploaded via USB.

Not so with MotionBlock.

Aiming for simplicity in the review, I opted for the Robotic Arm. Instructions for this build are included in the printed manual (others are in the mobile app for Android and iOS), so it made sense to start here.

90 minutes later I was done, having constructed every servo module. Unfortunately, I still had to build the Synchronizer, a remote unit that controls the robot arm. While this was a bit faster, the entire build time was around two hours.

It’s worth highlighting here that although the Synchronizer is a useful remote, it is limited by the 25mm cable connection to the Master Control. It’s also limited by some restrictive brackets (“Stoblocks”) that prevent full motion. They appear to be provided to prevent the cables from being stretched but have the opposite effect. Better motion can be achieved without these parts.

Also, the robot arm requires calibration when used with the remote, but this isn’t the case with app-based remote control.

Getting the Build Right

Unfortunately, I ran into a problem. It seems that early in the build, I connected a component incorrectly. While I immediately fixed the issue, the damage was done.

Four 16mm screws had penetrated the case of one of the servos, resulting in the arm being non-functional. This was the servo installed in the rotating block, a key component of the arm.

This happened thanks to a simple misreading of the instructions. No unreasonable force was used. In fact, it was tougher to screw the 16mm screws correctly.

On the plus side, if I had used the instructions in the mobile app, it would have been far clearer. Here, each step is guided, with an animated illustration and an interactive 3D graphic of the components. In short, if you’re planning to buy this kit, use the manual in the mobile app.

Seized Up Servo

Reading the instructions carefully won’t prevent manufacturing failures, however. While experimenting with the Synchronizer arm, it turned out that one of the servos—ironically the one fitted in the rotating module to repair the one I damaged—had seized up.

With all builds of the MotionBlock kit requiring four or more servos, that pretty much brought things to an end.

Fortunately, Makeblock were kind enough to forward a pair of replacement servos. A few weeks later, the robot was finally up and running.

Further investigation showed that the screws were not sorted as per the labels in the box. This resulted in me using 20mm screws instead of 16mm. That 4mm difference would probably have saved the circuit board in the servo!

Once again, the moral or the story is clear: pay close attention to every step of the instructions.

Hook Up the Mobile App to Control Your Robot via Bluetooth

With your robot built, it’s a good time to sync it to your mobile device over Bluetooth. Get started by installing the Makeblock app, available for Android and iOS. While phone versions of the apps are available, we found the tablet user interface was more usable.

Syncing over Bluetooth is handled by the app (with the usual system confirmation) and is surprisingly painless. A few moments later, you’ll be ready to control your robot project. Each supported robot build has its own control interface, enabling you to steer, guide, or otherwise manipulate the construction based on the component parts.

Additional Mobile App Features

Various extras are hidden in the mobile app that can change the way you use your robot build. For example, there’s a neat little pixel art screen that lets you alter the default LED displayed on the Master Control’s display.

There’s also the option to change some default settings. For example, with the robot arm build, you can alter the strength of the arm and grabber. Note that a different surface may be required to ensure the suction cups are properly secured. We used a varnished farmhouse-style table for this review, which has various imperfections that can weaken suction.

And if you’re looking for something new to do with your robot arm, how about mounting a pen on it? The app features a drawing tool that you can use to easily program a few words, doodles or even artwork. Watching a robot write or draw is quite a sight!

The app will also display the battery status, so you can tell when your robot will need recharging.

Programming Is Simple With Scratch and Python

When you’re done with manual control of the robot, you can begin to program it with Scratch and Python.

This is easiest via the mobile app, where you can use the Scratch software to program your robot. In the case of the arm, this could be something as simple as instructing it to pick up an object and place it elsewhere. With vehicular builds, the program might be to move around. While no standard sensors are included, this should be possible regardless if you know the distances involved.

A desktop interface is also available, called mBlock 5. This features a Scratch interface that supports the conversion of the program into Python code. A version of mBlock is also available for Android and iOS. Programming in this manner can be done live, although the best results seem to be enjoyed by uploading programs directly, as you might an Arduino.

Another, less high-tech way to program the MotionBlock robot is included. This relies on programming the Master Control module directly by recording manual servo movements. For example, you might program the arm to move around, open, and close, using your hands. This action is then saved and played back, with the robot following the steps you manually programmed by manipulating it.

Reimagine Your Robot with MotionBlock Kit

By the time you’ve reach the end of your first build with the MotionBlock kit, the truth is clear. This is a truly amazing collection of projects and activities, solidly manufactured and expertly packaged and presented.

There’s literally nothing wrong with this kit, short of the ability of a 40-something reviewer to accidentally break it. Maybe the battery could last longer, or perhaps it could feature a camera module for the vehicular builds. These are minor gripes, however.

If you have STEM or STEAM-interested kids who are in the right age group, you should seriously consider the MotionBlock kit.

Enter the Competition!

MotionBlock Robotics STEM Learning Kit Giveaway

Read the full article: Learn to Program Our Future Overlords with The MotionBlock Robotics Kit

Learn to Program Our Future Overlords with The MotionBlock Robotics Kit posted first on grassroutespage.blogspot.com

[comicteaparty]

June 8th-June 14th, 2019 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 8th, 2019 to June 14th, 2019.  The chat focused on the following question:

What was the original incarnation of your current comic?  What has changed over the lifespan of the idea, and what has remained the same?

Nutty (Court of Roses)

My comic, Court of Roses http://courtofroses.thecomicseries.com/, was originally built around my first D&D character, a half-elf bard named Merlow the Rose. The comic was going to be strictly based on D&D, but as I started going gung-ho on the worldbuilding I started deviating away, making my own variations on races, making my own pantheon, and even formulating different magic rules and creatures. It's still largely inspired by D&D, and other fantasy works like Lord of the Rings, Elder Scrolls, etc., but I'm also trying to make the world my own, too!

Pencilz

My comic the Caraway Crew https://tapas.io/series/The-Caraway-Crew was originally based on my childhood friend group. Actually the very first incarnation I had with the Caraways was where we were all self-inserted into some large crossover fanfiction... it was pretty bad aha.(edited)

I just realized I said that twice oops

Draco Plato

The first incarnation of my comic....world was a Sailor Moon parody I believe. There was a boarding school and magical boys and girls that fought aliens or something. Firosofi was the "priest" of water and Affinity was the "priestess" of light (ironically her character hasn't seen the light of day in years). Apus was still around in that incarnation since Firosofi and Affinity were affiliated with it there too I think The initial premise still makes up the core of the Apus ideology I think; people fight in pairs against forces that threaten Earth. The focus since shifted to be much more character focused and on characters who were made much later (Damon and Lyall primarily). http://khyatix.com/

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

But I'm A Cat Person http://bicatperson.com/ basically sprang into being (heh) fully-formed, but I pulled a bunch of the characters from earlier fanfiction incarnations. Jany and Kara Lynn got started in a Neopets RPG; Timothy was created as an OC member of Section XIII in Hellsing; Reseda and Cybele were from the same Sailor Moon exoplanetary team.(edited)

Leif & Thorn http://leifandthorn.com/ started as Colbert Report fanfiction XD It was so far removed from the source material that I spent years thinking "I should file off the serial numbers and try to publish this as an original work"...but it didn't click until I got away from the idea of doing a 1:1 adaptation of the fic's plot, and just used it as the foundation of a world where I could set all kinds of other stories.

AntiBunny

My comic AntiBunny http://antibunny.net/ started out as an all pencil sketchy comic about depression. It experimented a lot early on artistically as I tried to tear down my old style and build a new one. As it's changed over the years I've built up a new art style, and as I've changed as a person I'd say it's become its own story driven by the characters. The protagonist's depression and anxiety is still important, but I think the significant thing is that I'm seeing depression from the outside rather than the inside, and my writing has changed a lot as a result.

mathtans

Interesting topic. I might be unique in that my math comic started as a web serial (though I didn't know that's what it was at the time). Meaning text, but supplemented with drawings, because the point was that the graphs were character hairstyles: https://sites.google.com/site/taylorspolynomials/series/openbar

I gave it up after several years due to lack of interest, then brought it back as a web comic with many of the characters redesigned (parabola having twintails instead of bunny ears, for instance). http://mathtans.ca/ It then crossed over with the serial, meaning both sets of characters are canon and take place in the same universe. https://mathtans.blogspot.com/2017/04/math-character-bible.html

So the more it changes, the more it stayed the same? (As to plot, that tended to be whatever math concept I thought would be interesting, from archaic trig functions to fractals... I never knew where that'd be going.)

kayotics

The original incarnation of Ingress Adventuring Company https://ingress-comic.com/ was, like many other fantasy comics, derived from a D&D campaign I played in. I really loved the character I played (Toivo), and the campaign had finished, so I decided to keep using him in more stories. While the basic idea of the character is the same, I completely removed him from the campaign that he was in so I wouldn't have any issues with having to ask my friends to use their characters. Toivo has essentially remained the same, but large parts of his backstory and the entire setting has been changed from the original game I played him in. And, since I'm no longer tied to D&D with a comic, the rules of magic are a lot more vague. Similar to what Nutty said above, my comic is still largely inspired by D&D and other fantasy staples, but at least I can deviate from them as I continue to make my comic.

MJ Massey

Black Ball http://welcometoblackball.com/ is a much more recent idea of mine and hasn't really changed too much in terms of the overarching story, though minor things have shifted such as Maude becoming more of a main character, giving her a brother who is also getting more involved in the plot, and changing the role of a future character. But it's always been Emily and Chester solving a murder mystery.

MJ Massey

The shifts have been so minor and over time that it's hard to find where the "first draft" ends and the "next version" begins. But I've been mentally shifting things as I go along and see that certain aspects of the story need more attention for the ending to pay off or for the character to get well developed

Who the murderer is has stayed the same and how it happens and why. Just the circumstances around it have been smudged and fixed

Tuyetnhi

The OG plans I had for https://oiydcomic.com/ occurred after I was fiddling with twine to make a one shot short story, and an illustration series/zine project after having an intense dream. At first, I initially wanted to create it into an ero-romance comic about a woman having a one night stand with her dream lover, eventually living together after seeing each other for a few weeks. After thinking about it further (and some beta readers later lmao), I decided to develop into a romance-focused drama about acceptance and making life more than what is instilled in our dreams. I fleshed out Cara's (main character) modivations, her background in regards on courtship and romance somewhat seen in the asian-american experience (specifically Vietnamese-american rituals; some that retained after viet dispora came to the US in the late 80's - 90's and the effects on their children). Basically, from intense escapism to a general exploration on romance. With some common themes I've liked in 90's shoujo with some criticisms here and there.(edited)

Respheal

Galebound (http://www.galebound.com/) started off as what was going to be a short story. I posted it up on deviantART just for fun, and I was totally pantsing the plot xD I had an idea of a magician who for some reason couldn't ask questions, and the stablehand he kidnapped when he wasn't getting a horse fast enough. The original idea was that Din was on the run from something? And Conan was that hapless stablehand the protags burst in on like "I need a horse!" before escaping $antagonist or chasing someone. Originally Din was supposed to be a good guy, for real, just...more of a trickster to Conan's straight-faced act(edited)

Since its inception, the plot got way deeper and a gazillion times more horrible I think at one point an Obligation wasn't necessary for magic, and probably wasn't even totally compulsory But then the Pascal Incident happened and making the Obligation compulsory suddenly became much more integral to the plot and world. And once that happened, Din's backstory got more fleshed out and his character got darker. I still really wasn't sure what to do with Conan at that point, though. That didn't hit me until like seven years after the original five chapter draft going up on dA, and knowing Conan better changed everything It's fun :'D

snuffysam

Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R (http://sgkdr.webcomic.ws/) started off as a short film I made for an introductory film class in college (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibRdxNLd3Q4). The film is about a fan of a really bad anime forcing his boyfriend to sit through an episode. The production quality of the film is honestly really bad in retrospect (still got an A though lol). At around the same time as I was making that film, I had just watched... I assume Food Wars, and I was on a real "you could make a battle series out of anything" stint. Like, I would just have a notes document full of ideas like "a shonen series about math olympiads". One idea I really liked was "a shonen series, but it's actually just The Wizard of Oz". After I had finished the short film, I wondered what the actual series that the "anime" took place in would be like, so I decided to build out a comic. I outlined five books, the first being based primarly off the Wizard of Oz. And... the rest is history.

deo101

The first incarnation of millennium (http://millennium.thecomicseries.com/) was pretty much a "chosen one" story where the main character had to go kill an evil space queen and was the only one who could do it. I made about 6 more stories that I later decided I could put together, and the easiest way for me to combine them all was a highschool space story, which I developed for quite a while... Later I changed them all to be adults and started building the current iteration of the story (which has also changed a ton)

Desnik

My WIP comic (which has an ask blog: http://ask-a-warlock.tumblr.com/) started out as a video game idea incorporating Banjo Kazooie collectathon platforming with Ace Attorney trial mechanics....obvs I'm not much of a programmer or 3D modeler, so I went with skills that I actually know how to do: Write and draw(edited)

It had one incarnation where the characters run around all of Europe but it was much too much to develop within 250 pages so I scrapped that and focused on one standalone story, which I'm thumbnailing now and I'm hoping to get into the art stage by the end of the year

and now the page count is about 170 so hopefully that's an easier project to wrangle, when it comes down to it

[samuelfields]

The Return On Rent Is Always Negative 100 Percent: Here’s How To Live For Free

There’s a ton of talk about how there’s a housing affordability crisis in various parts of the country.

Perhaps the fear of forever being priced out is an underestimated motivating force behind the continued demand for housing despite high prices.

I remember when I bought my first 2/2 condo in 2003, I felt a sense of relief that I no longer had to pay ever-rising rents. Even though the $2,300/month mortgage payment was about 15% higher than my previous rent after a 25% down payment, it felt good knowing my costs were generally fixed.

What I’ve recently realized is that many people in San Francisco and many other cities have not had to pay a single penny for housing costs over the years.

What? How is this possible when San Francisco is considered one of the most expensive cities in America?

Let me show you with a friend’s example that doesn’t involve mooching off your parents as an adult child.

How To Live For Free In An Expensive City

Here’s the profile of a home that was purchased for $1.3 million in 2011 and sold for $2.2 million in early 2019. He put down 20% and took out a $1,040,000 mortgage at 3.5%. Below are some approximate numbers.

Positives

Monthly rent avoided for eight years: $5,500

Total rent avoided after eight years: $440,000

Net proceeds after fees, principal pay down, all taxes from selling house: $1,100,000

Negatives

Opportunity cost of not investing $260,000 (down payment) in the stock market from 2011 – 2019 = $286,000 (110% appreciation)

Net mortgage interest cost after eight years = $203,000

Net property taxes after eight years = $90,000

Maintenance cost after eight years = $20,000

Net cost of living = ($440,000 + $1,100,000) – ($286,000 – $203,000 – $90,000 – $20,000) = $941,000.

If this simple math is right, not only was my friend’s family housing free for eight years but he was also paid $941,000 to live in San Francisco. That’s pretty good value for just living.

Obviously, experiencing a 69% appreciation in his property was a big factor in this equation, but so was not having to pay $440,000 in rent during this time period.

Even if the property only appreciated by 3% a year, my friend would still have been paid over $500,000 to live in San Francisco for eight years.

Related: Reinvestment Ideas After Selling A House

How Much You’ll Spend On Rent In Your Lifetime

Check out this chart about how much money you’ll spend on rent for a median-priced home in various major cities.

It’s kind of crazy to see that a San Francisco resident would pay $2,468,000 in rent for a median-priced property by the time he or she turns 60.

Is your city on the list? If not, add up how much you’ll end up spending on rent for your desired property if you never buy. I don’t think you’ll like the results.

With such massive amounts paid in rent over one’s lifetime, is it no wonder why the desire to buy property is so strong?

I’d love for property prices to decline by 20% so I can snap up another Golden Gate Heights panoramic view property in San Francisco. Alas, unless I get really lucky, another investment property is not in my cards.

Some Takeaways On Getting Paid To Live

1) The return on rent is always -100%. Yes, you get a place to live, but if you buy, you also get a place to live. Once this variable is canceled out, what’s left is the owner’s optionality to sell the asset. Who said high school algebra was a useless course.

2) Although buying a home is making a concentrated bet with leverage, buying a home may ironically be easier than investing the same amount of money in the stock market because you’re buying a tangible asset that may improve the quality of your life. With stocks, there is not utility gained. Further, prices could decline out of the blue.

3) Renting and investing the difference in the stock market and other assets is a great idea, but people often fail due to a lack of financial discipline. Without a proper automatic invest strategy in place, chances are high the saved difference ends up getting spent or left sitting in a bank account.

4) Time is your friend when it comes to owning a property. Over time, the cost to rent rises to barf-inducing levels. Meanwhile, the appreciation of a property also sometimes rises to unbelievable levels. The only way you can survive as a renter is if rents stay flat or go down, which usually doesn’t happen due to inflation. Rising rents and rising property prices will crush your financial progress if you are unwilling to get neutral real estate by owning your primary residence or moving to a lower cost area.

5) To live for free, you’ve got to take risk. Staying in a rent-controlled apartment is somewhat akin to working at a safe day job with no upward mobility. You’ll likely never starve, but you’ll likely never get rich either. If you take some risk by buying real estate, you might do very well just like if you decided to start your own business or hop to a different employer. Alternatively, you might go bankrupt if you buy inappropriately. But at the end of the day, no risk no reward.

6) Living for free strengthens the real estate market further. Living for free is another phrase for rising home equity. The more home equity there is, the larger the buffer in case of a recession. Given lenders have significantly tightened their lending standards since the 2009 financial crisis, only the most credit worthy borrowers have bought homes.

When you combine high credit worthiness with record high home equity and low mortgage rates, it’s hard to see another crash in home prices again. The best we can hope for is a 10% – 15% decline window before another recovery. Instead, we’re likely going to see increased discretionary spending.

Arbitraging To Live For Free

Once you own your primary residence, you won’t truly know until after you’ve sold your property whether you lived for free all those years or not. In the meantime, you can make educated estimates every year about whether buying or renting made more sense.

If you really want to live for free in the present, you’ve got to figure out a way to make investments that will produce income that will cover all your housing expenses and then some.

The concept of Buy Utility, Rent Luxury (BURL) is one logical strategy. Aggressively saving money on the short end of an inverted yield curve to cover your longer duration borrowing costs is another strategy, especially when the yield curve is inverted.

But the easiest strategy is to simply not rent for life. If you rent for life, you are going to look back 30 years from now with regret. Your kids will also likely hate you for not buying so long ago.

All these rich kids today are rich because their parents had the foresight to do some math and take some calculated risk decades ago.

If you’re not willing to build assets for yourself, at least do it for your children. Just make sure the numbers make sense.

Related: Focus On Trends: Why I’m Investing In The Heartland Of America

Readers, have you been living for free all these years? If so, I’d love to hear about your numbers. Despite all the data that shows homeowners are on average 44X richer than renters, why are there still so many people against long-term homeownership to build wealth?

The post The Return On Rent Is Always Negative 100 Percent: Here’s How To Live For Free appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from Finance https://www.financialsamurai.com/return-on-rent-is-always-negative-100-percent-how-to-live-forfree/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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The Return On Rent Is Always Negative 100 Percent: Here’s How To Live For Free

There’s a ton of talk about how there’s a housing affordability crisis in various parts of the country.

Perhaps the fear of forever being priced out is an underestimated motivating force behind the continued demand for housing despite high prices.

I remember when I bought my first 2/2 condo in 2003, I felt a sense of relief that I no longer had to pay ever-rising rents. Even though the $2,300/month mortgage payment was about 15% higher than my previous rent after a 25% down payment, it felt good knowing my costs were generally fixed.

What I’ve recently realized is that many people in San Francisco and many other cities have not had to pay a single penny for housing costs over the years.

What? How is this possible when San Francisco is considered one of the most expensive cities in America?

Let me show you with a friend’s example that doesn’t involve mooching off your parents as an adult child.

How To Live For Free In An Expensive City

Here’s the profile of a home that was purchased for $1.3 million in 2011 and sold for $2.2 million in early 2019. He put down 20% and took out a $1,040,000 mortgage at 3.5%. Below are some approximate numbers.

Positives

Monthly rent avoided for eight years: $5,500

Total rent avoided after eight years: $440,000

Net proceeds after fees, principal pay down, all taxes from selling house: $1,100,000

Negatives

Opportunity cost of not investing $260,000 (down payment) in the stock market from 2011 – 2019 = $286,000 (110% appreciation)

Net mortgage interest cost after eight years = $203,000

Net property taxes after eight years = $90,000

Maintenance cost after eight years = $20,000

Net cost of living = ($440,000 + $1,100,000) – ($286,000 – $203,000 – $90,000 – $20,000) = $941,000.

If this simple math is right, not only was my friend’s family housing free for eight years but he was also paid $941,000 to live in San Francisco. That’s pretty good value for just living.

Obviously, experiencing a 69% appreciation in his property was a big factor in this equation, but so was not having to pay $440,000 in rent during this time period.

Even if the property only appreciated by 3% a year, my friend would still have been paid over $500,000 to live in San Francisco for eight years.

Related: Reinvestment Ideas After Selling A House

How Much You’ll Spend On Rent In Your Lifetime

Check out this chart about how much money you’ll spend on rent for a median-priced home in various major cities.

It’s kind of crazy to see that a San Francisco resident would pay $2,468,000 in rent for a median-priced property by the time he or she turns 60.

Is your city on the list? If not, add up how much you’ll end up spending on rent for your desired property if you never buy. I don’t think you’ll like the results.

With such massive amounts paid in rent over one’s lifetime, is it no wonder why the desire to buy property is so strong?

I’d love for property prices to decline by 20% so I can snap up another Golden Gate Heights panoramic view property in San Francisco. Alas, unless I get really lucky, another investment property is not in my cards.

Some Takeaways On Getting Paid To Live

1) The return on rent is always -100%. Yes, you get a place to live, but if you buy, you also get a place to live. Once this variable is canceled out, what’s left is the owner’s optionality to sell the asset. Who said high school algebra was a useless course.

2) Although buying a home is making a concentrated bet with leverage, buying a home may ironically be easier than investing the same amount of money in the stock market because you’re buying a tangible asset that may improve the quality of your life. With stocks, there is not utility gained. Further, prices could decline out of the blue.

3) Renting and investing the difference in the stock market and other assets is a great idea, but people often fail due to a lack of financial discipline. Without a proper automatic invest strategy in place, chances are high the saved difference ends up getting spent or left sitting in a bank account.

4) Time is your friend when it comes to owning a property. Over time, the cost to rent rises to barf-inducing levels. Meanwhile, the appreciation of a property also sometimes rises to unbelievable levels. The only way you can survive as a renter is if rents stay flat or go down, which usually doesn’t happen due to inflation. Rising rents and rising property prices will crush your financial progress if you are unwilling to get neutral real estate by owning your primary residence or moving to a lower cost area.

5) To live for free, you’ve got to take risk. Staying in a rent-controlled apartment is somewhat akin to working at a safe day job with no upward mobility. You’ll likely never starve, but you’ll likely never get rich either. If you take some risk by buying real estate, you might do very well just like if you decided to start your own business or hop to a different employer. Alternatively, you might go bankrupt if you buy inappropriately. But at the end of the day, no risk no reward.

6) Living for free strengthens the real estate market further. Living for free is another phrase for rising home equity. The more home equity there is, the larger the buffer in case of a recession. Given lenders have significantly tightened their lending standards since the 2009 financial crisis, only the most credit worthy borrowers have bought homes.

When you combine high credit worthiness with record high home equity and low mortgage rates, it’s hard to see another crash in home prices again. The best we can hope for is a 10% – 15% decline window before another recovery. Instead, we’re likely going to see increased discretionary spending.

Arbitraging To Live For Free

Once you own your primary residence, you won’t truly know until after you’ve sold your property whether you lived for free all those years or not. In the meantime, you can make educated estimates every year about whether buying or renting made more sense.

If you really want to live for free in the present, you’ve got to figure out a way to make investments that will produce income that will cover all your housing expenses and then some.

The concept of Buy Utility, Rent Luxury (BURL) is one logical strategy. Aggressively saving money on the short end of an inverted yield curve to cover your longer duration borrowing costs is another strategy, especially when the yield curve is inverted.

But the easiest strategy is to simply not rent for life. If you rent for life, you are going to look back 30 years from now with regret. Your kids will also likely hate you for not buying so long ago.

All these rich kids today are rich because their parents had the foresight to do some math and take some calculated risk decades ago.

If you’re not willing to build assets for yourself, at least do it for your children. Just make sure the numbers make sense.

Related: Focus On Trends: Why I’m Investing In The Heartland Of America

Readers, have you been living for free all these years? If so, I’d love to hear about your numbers. Despite all the data that shows homeowners are on average 44X richer than renters, why are there still so many people against long-term homeownership to build wealth?

The post The Return On Rent Is Always Negative 100 Percent: Here’s How To Live For Free appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from Money https://www.financialsamurai.com/return-on-rent-is-always-negative-100-percent-how-to-live-forfree/ via http://www.rssmix.com/