#irish problems i guess?

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

one day people will write about doctors telling people to exercise more for literally any and all condition and regardless of the safety or efficacy of this advice the same way we write about arbitrary bloodletting in the early modern period

[everysongineverykey]

i love you azura books i love you luz's nerdiness given prominence throughout the show i love you "luzura" i love you amity and luz bonding over a "cringe" book series i love you lumity azura/hecate cosplay i love you young queer couple cosplaying as a queer couple that really inspired them as kids and helped bring them together i love you beautiful tribute to the power of representation in media as shown via a latina girl adoring and being heavily influenced by a book series starring a latina witch who she can see herself in i love you varied and beautiful discussions of representation in a show with heaps and heaps of just that :')

in the same vein, i love you cosmic frontier i love you chief engineer o'bailey-hunter parallels i love you gus captain avery cosplay i love you gus helping hunter confront his identity as a grimwalker by introducing him to a series with a character he can see himself in i love you star trek deep space nine reference i love you black boy cosplaying as a black space captain i love you camila connecting with luz using her own nerdy childhood obsession i love you power of stories and, again, representation in media i love you the owl house's constant message that representation matters i love you i love you💙💙💙💙

[voidoffline]

Okay so today I started out normal. Then after maybe an half an hour or a full hour I got stuck in an Australian accent. Which isn’t too out of the ordinary, because I have adhd and sometimes just get stuck in accents for a bit

After like maybe thirty minutes or less the Australian accent turned into an Irish one

Then I was stuck in an Irish accent for several hours. Very unusual, as that doesn’t happen a lot

Then for maybe thirty minutes or so I got my usual accent back (which is a mix of a few accents since I’m a military brat, but mostly American)

Then I got stuck in an Irish accent again. And now it’s one forty one at night and I’m still Irish

Gonna see if I’m Irish in the mornin’ or if I’ve gone back to normal

[shekeepsmeworms]

Had some wine feeling good made a really shitty bowl in ceramics class this morning that I’m really worried has a bunch of air holes in it and had a really crappy therapy session where I didn’t talk too much but was honest about some other stuff which is good overall I guess but now I’m doing drunk crochet and watching the Duggar family documentary and probably going to stop watching soon once they start talking about the awful stuff but yeah day in the life of a woman doing her best I guess

[breitzbachbea]

Sometimes when I write things, I know full well that something is extremely unlikely/out of the ordinary, but don't fix it and instead keep it for that very reason. It's not there because I need plot convenience over reality (honestly, most of the assassination attempt in Irish Problems), it's there because everything else being more or less realistic makes this exception 10x funnier (Angelo's chicken being laser fucking focused on Michele's walled off yard that is two kilometres from their home)

[caitas-cooing]

Comments bullies made about me that I remembered from most to least hurtful (this was in elementary school so most of these are pretty tame now but like remember I was 6-7):

You're the size of an elf. This one would probably go lower on the list of I wasn't still short tbh. I am still only 5ft tall so yeah it's sensitive

You're so pale you look like a ghost. Don't really care about this as much as the height thing but it is still annoying because I burn easily (also using this to remind everyone to wear sunscreen regardless of skin tone. Skin cancer is deadly and anyone can get it.)

You're weird/crazy/insane etc. most common insult was some variation of this, or going into details about why I was this way. Least hurtful because when I was little my mom used weird as an affectionate term. I could tell they were trying to be mean so it still hurt but it also confused me about why they thought that it was a bad thing. I had been weird the whole time and up until the first grade nobody really cared, but now suddenly it was a bad thing and I didn't understand it. Last hurtful for the insult itself but most impactful because I thought about it the most because of the confusion. I was turning that one in my head for years. I still don't really get why people don't like it, but I'm used to it enough by now that I don't really care at this point.

Anyway two years later in the third grade I got diagnosed with autism and then 3 years after that I got an ADHD diagnosis. There were probably more things they said but most of them were either some variation of the above things or possibly some things I just forgot because I'm 24 now lol

[lis-anxiety-writing]

so i'm home for christmas and i've been thinking a lot about the relation between the place i grew up and my perfectionism

maybe this is just a small town/island but i've always longed to leave, and every time i'm home i'm reminded of this fact. don't get me wrong, i love my home, but i don't want to live here right now. i've moved out, i've gotten a taste of the world, and by god i liked the taste. (and i worry that my home will never be able to fully satisfy my hunger now that i've sampled something else, but that is a rant for another day)

but there's something else as well: i think i equate being home to failing.

i've always seen university as my way "out of here", and every time i come home (especially now that i'm close to graduating) the happiness of seeing friends and family is tainted by the feeling of failure and isolation. i think i just associate home with the idea that i "didn't make it". and on one hand that's unfair, not moving away from here does not mean you failed as a person. still, most people do move away to study or work a few years, and for me that has absolutely been the right choice. however, most people also move back, and i'm not sure if i want to anymore. maybe in ten years, but definitely not now. but still i feel so obligated to be the perfect little good girl who does well in her studies and then moves home with the husband she found while studying to settle down. and that's not me. at least not at this point in my life.

so in order to "justify" staying abroad i have to be perfect. academically, socially, mentally. i need to be a exemplary student, always happy, never struggling, with a perfect five year plan. if i don't have that, well then why not just move home? just come home with my tail between my legs, admitting that i couldn't make it out in the world.

moving home is simultaneously something i feel like i should do, something i'm terrified of doing, and something i'm not even sure if i want to do. and somewhere in there, i also feel like no matter what i chose to do, i have to make sure i do it perfectly: either i move home and become a model citizen and daughter and mother and wife, or i stay abroad and i climb the academic ladder and really make it "out there". and i don't know what i want (something in-between, probably), but i think a lot about it when i'm home.

so i guess next year we're gonna try to unlearn the idea that home=not making it, but also the idea that i'm under some obligation to move back. a piece of me will always yearn to leave, but my roots are buried so deeply that i'm forever tied to this place, for better and for worse.

[scribblesofagoonerr]

— Come get yer' kid!

brace yourself folks, this is a long one!

Thank you to @alotofpockets for helping me through the writers' block with certain parts.

I was gonna just keep this as 5 parts, but I love writing choas fc so I'm just gonna continue to write it until I get bored of it, whenever that happens.

pairings: kim little x reader, leah williamson x reader, awfc x reader

summary: the flight back to london and kim still can't catch a break, much to her surprise it's not reader causing the chaos this time though.

"Aye, Kimmy. Yer kids' quiet," The ever observant Katie McCabe nudges the Scots' woman and gestures to the seated area in the airport where your all but practically glued to Alessia.

"Shes' missing Kyra," Kim glances over to see you as she makes the brief explanation to the Irish girl, knowing the truth behind the reason for your sudden withdrawn behaviour, "And shes' not my kid. I'm just babysitting until we get back to London and then shes' Leah's problem again."

Katie snorts in amusement, "Takin' it pretty hard to not have her partner in crime, ain't she? I bet Williamsons' ecstatic to have the little menace back under her wing." She jokes with your captain.

"She'll be alright as soon as we board the flight," Kims' more than observant with your lack of your usual chaotic behaviour, but somehow she still feels like she needs to be on high alert in case you decide to pull another prank.

Kim was right about one thing though, you were definitely in a sulk about missing your best friend.

After a fun filled few days down under in Aus with the overall win from playing against the All Stars team, you were all now heading back to London.

Unforunately due to the fact that International break was right around the corner, it meant that you would have to endure the flight without the older Aussie girl considering that all three Matilda's players remained in Melbourne to catch the connected flight to their camp.

It's safe to say that you do feel a bit mopey about the situation and of course its' not long before the rest of the girls start to pick up on your distant personna.

"We're goin' to be boarding the flight soon, Y/N/N," Alessia glances down at you from where you've shifted your body to lean up against hers with your head tiredly resting on her shoulder, "Is everythin' alright, kid?"

You just decide it's easier to sit with one of the girls, who wouldn't try and bother as much to get a conversation out of you and your pretty familiar with Alessia through the England side of things, so you know that shes' a safe bet to sit by.

"Mhm," You barely even have any energy to respond.

Your response peaks Alessia's further concer that there's something wrong with you because having known for you as long as she has done, the only times' you known to be this withdrawn is either when your sick, tired or just upset about something, "Are you not feelin' well?" She wonders.

"M' fine," You mumble with your head buried in her neck, you were keeping your hood over your head with the hope that everyone else will leave you alone.

"Are you sad about something?" Alessia frowns in deeper concern, trying to figure out the reason for your quietness; Yeah, you were definitely sad.

"I guess so," You murmer in response, your eyes feel hazy with the lack of sleep but that's purely down to your own fault of staying awake most of the previous night.

Damn TikTok being a bad habit, one minute your scrolling through videos and the next thing you know its' 5 am, the suns' coming up and your being woken up to head to the airport.

Whoops?

"What's goin' on?" Alessia leans forward to try and be more observant, "Are you missing Kyra?" She questions, trying to figure out what could be getting you so down.

Are you that easy to read?

"Uh huh," You mumble quietly in agreement, "I'm too tired, Lessi." You add, trying to fight the sleepiness.

Alessia chuckles slightly and pats your back with her free hand, "Thats' why you should sleep instead of being on TikTok, eh?" She jokes as you lift your head up to face her just as quick, "You made the mistake of posting one of them videos into the group chat."

"Awh shucks," You mumble in realisation; Fantastic, another reason for one of the older "responsible" girls to lecture you, ie. the blonde English skipper, otherwise known as Malfoy to you now, "I'm not in the mood for one of Malfoy's lectures."

"What?" Alessia asks, confused, "Whos' Malfoy?" She's bewildered by the name.

"Le, Malfoys' her new code name cos' of that god-awful hair cut," You explain in the state of being half asleep.

The blonde couldn't help but stifle her laughter, "I don't think she'll be too happy to hear that." She jokes.

"I'm willing to take that risk of her shouting, because its' funny at least," You mumble tiredly as you let out a yawn, "Lessi? Can I sleep on the plane? I'm so tired."

"Sure kid, you can sleep on the plane," Alessia chuckles and pats your back, "Just try and stay awake until we board the flight at least. None of us want to carry you onto the plane." She adds.

"I can't promise that," Your voice is once again muffled in the crook of the older blondes' neck as you fight the urge to stay awake, "I'm so tired, but TikToks' addictive though to give up watching it."

"I don't think I've ever seen Y/N be this quiet before," Teyah jokes as she glances over to where your sat watching a movie on your iPad while still being leant up against Alessia.

"Unless shes' asleep," Katie remarks.

"Or she's sick," Vic chimes in, remembering the time where you came to training before and were too stubborn to admit you were feeling unwell.

You were more than aware that they were talking about you, but you were much too engrossed in the current Avengers film to even care about it.

The first flight from Melbourne had been fine, you had been able to peacefully sleep practically the whole flight; Luckily enough Alessia had taken pity on your tiredness and allowed you to all but lie right on her to snooze away, also making sure that nobody else woke you up either.

The connected flight from Dubai to London was a little different and with your newfound energy, you found yourself growing bored, fidgeting in your seat and being quickly aggitated when you couldn't get comfy until Alessia suggested that you watch a film to try and distract yourself for a bit, so therefor you're now sitting beside the blonde-- more like practically leaning on her while you watch the first Avengers film.

"She's too quiet. Are we sure that shes' not secretley plotting something?" Teyah wonders, hesistantly.

Katie shrugs her shoulders, "I'm not sure."

"You know how much she loves them Avengers films," Vic all but rolls her eyes; Its' true that you were a massive Marvels' fan, you wouldn't ever deny that - You bedroom walls were covered with posters, amongst other things and any time that you needed to wind down, you'd take yourself off to your bedroom, or a quiet place where ever you were to watch a film.

The Irish girl hums and tries to observe you closely, "Ere' Y/N! What's up with yer, kid?" She shouts across the plane to you.

"Leave her be, Katie, shes' fine," Kim gives the bruntte a pointed look.

Teyah snickers, "Are you sure? Shes' actually not being a pest for once!" She makes the snide remark.

"Yeh, only cos' she doesn't have her sidekick by her side. I've never seen her look so depressed..."

You finally had enough of the constant back and forth chat about you, besides they were ruining the perfect film.

Making sure to pause the film first so you don't miss any of it, you whip your head round to face the girls, "I can hear, you know!" You shout at them.

"Now look what you've done," Cloe pipes in, shaking her head.

"Y/N," Alessia tries to divert your attention back to the film rather than arguing with the older girls.

"What? They're talkin' about me behind me back-- And they're interrupting one of the greatest films made!" You whine in protest, shooting a glare at Katie and Teyah.

Kim exhales a sigh and pinches the bridge of her nose, "I knew it was too good to be true," She thinks to herself, "Y/N, just ignore them and watch the film. Katie, Teyah, you girls are old enough to know better than to wind her up!" She scolds them both.

"Y/N is the same age as Teyah," Katie reminds the Scots' women.

"Are you sure? The way she behaves sometimes says different," Emily chips in, amusedly.

"She has a point," Frida adds in.

Kim starts to rub her temples, "Just a few more hours, just a few more hours until we're off the plane," She repeats to herself. "Lets' just leave Y/N be, alright?" She tells the rest of the girls, sternly.

"Yeah," Katie and Teyah mumble in sync.

You can't help but help look Katie dead in the eye and stick your tongue out at her before you go back to watching the film.

"Y/N," Alessia chides, catching the rude face you had pulled at the Irish.

"What? I didn't do out," You protest innocently, trying to act like butter wouldn't melt.

Alessia definitely knew different as she laughed and slung her arm around your shoulder, leaving you to be so watch the film and enjoy the peace and quiet for the remainder of the flight, hopefully.

"Wha... What was that?" Kim shoots up from her seat and immediately sets her eyes' on you.

"What was what?" Cloe asks, confused.

"I just felt something hit the back of my neck-- Y/N!" Kims' straight to blame you for whatever it was that happened.

You poke your head up from your iPad to see your Captain looking less than happy, "What?" You question.

"What'd I tell you? No more pranks, or else!" Kims' still quick enough to scold you, thinking it had something to do with you.

"That weren't me, Kimmy. I've been watched the film-- Ask Alessia!" You protest, turning to look at the blonde for her to back you up.

Kim turns to look at the blonde girl, "Alessia?" She questions.

"Shes' right, Kim," Alessia nods in agreement, "Y/N has been practically glued to be the whole flight." She teases you, ruffling your hair which she knows' you all but hate when someone does that.

The Scots' women looks more than confused now, "Then who was it?" She wonders.

There's a few snickers around the plane and you poke your head round to spot where the laughters coming from; The Young Guns.

You weren't going to rat them out, you were actually quite impressed about being able to pull the prank off, even if it did mean that you were the one to get blamed for it.

"I don't know. Sure you're not imaging things now, Kimmy?" You joke with the older women, sure enough you were in sulking still about the lack of your best friend this flight but you had a spark of energy after your nap and would you really be yourself if you didn't act up even the slightest bit?

"Wha-- I know you had something to do with this, Y/N!" Kim is lost for words as shes' more than convinced it was you pulling the strings on the chaos.

"It wasn't me. How could I do that when I've been sat here the whole time?" You tell the Scots' women as you give her one of your famous cheeky grins.

"Yes, well-- Urgh. Enough of it, anyways. I don't want any more trouble the reaminder of the flight," Kim states sternly, wagging her finger in your face, "The sooner this plane lands, the better." She mutters to herself, walking back over to her own seat.

"It weren't even me!" You protest, miffed about the fact that you were automatically the one to get the blame for this.

Are you that predictable?

"Back in a minute. I need to loo," You make the quick excuse to the blonde, clambering over the seats before you head to where the academy players are all huddled around together, "Young Guns!" You shout in a low whisper.

"Hi Eagle 1," Mini Viv greets you.

"Whatever it was that you did, I got the blame for!" You huff in protest.

"We don't know what you're talking about," Noami replies.

You can't help but scoff and glance between all 6 of them who're trying to stifle their laughter, "I know you definitely did something. I know that look!" You insist.

"We didn't do anything," Maddie snickers.

"Yeah and well, if we did then we just learnt from the best," Laila remarks.

"Yeah but that's not the-- Wait, really? You really think I'm the best?" Your sidetracked by the compliment to continue to point your point across, "Seriously?"

"Yep," Maddie agrees.

Freya shrugs her shoulders, "We just wanted to have some fun. The flight is boring otherwise." She admits.

"I told them it was a bad idea," Mini Katie chips in, looking more apologetic than the other 5 of them.

You can't help but grin feeling a certain acomplishment, "Right, okay... I'm goin' back to my seats, but no more pranks. Mother Kimmys' convinced it' me and I'm toast if anything else happens!" You warn them.

Mini Viv mockingly salutes you, "You've got it, Eagle 1. No more pranks."

"Good," You glance between the 6 of them with a certain look, hoping it looks at least the bit immidating; After all, you have a great mentor when it comes to it, "I'm going back to my seat before Less starts to wonder where I am."

"Guys, should we have told her about us switching the luggage or leave it as a suprise for her to find out?" Noami questions in a hushed whisper.

"Nah, leave it. At least we won't be in the firing line then," Laila jokes with the rest of the Academy players.

"Freedom!" You exclaim, jumping up from your seat the minute that you touch down in Lonndon; You couldn't wait to be off the plane and be able to run around again.

"Someones' eager to get off, huh?" Cloe jokes, spotting you from her seat as she watches you to try and rush off the plane the second you can.

"It's almost hard to believe that Y/N was this quiet on the plane," Emily chimes in.

"Yeah, you wouldn't think it now," Vic snickers, noting your usual energetic self again.

"Lemme off! I need fresh air!" You insist, wanting nothing more than to be off the plane, having had enough of being confided inside of it.

With that being said, as soon as the moment came where you could exit the plane, you pretty much sprint from your seat and out of the door, running down the steps onto the tarmac ahead of the rest of the girls.

"And shes' off," Alessia chuckles, shaking her head.

"Y/N! Don't run off!" Kims' back to stressing about you as she rushes to try and catch up with you, knowing the busy airport that you're no doubt bound to get lost inside if you get far, "Come back here!"

"Freedom!" You exclaim, throwing your arms up in the air as you run around like a complete maniac in that moment.

"Run, Y/N. Run!" The Young Guns shout in encouragement.

"Y/N! Come 'ere!" Kim shouts in frustration, trying to get a hold of you while your running about.

"I'm free!" You shout aloud like a mad man.

"Y/N, come back here-- We're about to go into a crowded airport!" Kim continues to shout frantically, catching up with you and taking a hold of your upper bicep.

"Ay, Kimmy-- Lemme go, I want a taste of freedom!" You whine and try to wriggle away, all you want to do is run around but the Scots' women is pretty reluctant to let go anytime soon.

"I'm not letting go, I can't trust that you won't run off again!" Kim states, sternly.

You still continue to try and break free from her grasp, "I won't do it again. Lemme go!"

"Mhm, I don't believe that-- Come on!" With that being said, Kim tugs you in the direction of the airport with the rest of the girls.

At least while you went through security, the Scot' had the kindness to realise her grip before you all head over to reclaim your baggage.

Low and behold did you or the rest of the team know what had happened to it.

Of course you were the one to get the blame for it without even a second thought.

"Oh hold on, I need to grab my power bank before we leave the airport," Katie speaks up in realisation, "My phones' almost dead."

"There's always one," Teyah jokes, rolling her eyes.

Katie unzips her suitcase, or at least what she thinks is hers, "Why can't I find it? I swear I packed it-- Hold on, this one ain't even mine!" She exclaims, confused as she continues to dig around in it, "Who's is this?" She questions, turning to the rest of the group.

"That's mine," Sarah chimes in.

Katie huffs and passes the suitcase to her, "You must've got mine then?" She questions, accepting the suitcase before she opens it up to have no luck there either, "What? This ones' not even mine!" She states, annoyed about the situation.

With that being said, Katie begins to start literally ripping open each and every suitcase, scouring through to find the correct one.

"They've all been messed up!" Vic points out in realisation.

"Really? No shit sherlock," Teyah teases the Dutch girl.

"What's going on?" Kim asks, confused as she overhears the commotion.

"The baggage has all been mixed up," Alessia exhales a sigh.

"Y/N," Kim mutters, pinching the bridge of her nose; At the news of this, your Captain is literally stood there seething in anger while you're non the wiser, distracted by the colourful logos' in the airport of a nearby shop where you spot lego.

"Of course it was her," Katie remarks, huffing in annoyance.

"Ah, no. Y/N, come back here, right now!" Kims' quick to spot you making a run for it in the direction, "Y/F/N, get back here!" She shouts through the airport.

"O... Ow, Kimmy!" You flinch in shock as you feel the pain of your ear being yanked, "Lemme go! Lemme go, I just want the Lego!" You state, not seeing the big deal about it; In your opinion, it looked so cool!

"Absolutely not! No!" Kims' firm in her words as she believes your the one thats' behind the whole mix up of the bags, "Why can't you not just behave for once? This is gettin' beyond a joke now, Y/F/N!"

"O... Ow! This hurts-- Lemme go!" You continue to whine and writh around in pain, your definitely not a fan of this but you don't see what the huge fuss was about you running off to look at the Lego, "I just wanted to look at the Lego, its' not a big deal!"

"I'm not talkin' about the lego, Y/N. You mixed up the bags!" Kim points the finger at you for the blame, "Don't even try to deny it-- I knew you were up to something!" The Scots' women scolds you.

"What? That wasn't even me!" You whine, trying to break free from the Scots' women.

"Like I believe that, Y/N-- This is completely out of order!" Kim states, sternly as she drags you in the direction back to the bags, "I can't believe you-- You can't ever stop causing trouble!" She scolds.

Your at a complete loss for words, you had no idea what she was talking about but the pain in your ear really was hurting a lot the more that Kim continued to hold it tightly, "I don't... I don't-- It wasn't me. Let go, it hurts!" You complain.

"The Young Guns have a confession," Katie speaks up as you both approach them all again; It turns out that while Kim was chasing you around the airport, the Young Guns decided to come clean.

"Oh?" Kim blinks and looks between the 6 academy players.

"Go ahead," Teyah nudges Freya to speak.

"Uh... It's about the baggage..." Freya begins.

"That wasn't Y/N," Maddie continues to say.

Mini Viv scratches the back of her neck, "Er, yeah, it was us instead."

"We just wanted to have some fun," Laila chips in.

"Yeah, the flight was borin' and wanted to do something," Noami states.

"I was completely against it-- I told them it was a bad idea!" Mini Katie insists, seeing the fury in the Scots' facial expression and not wanting to be on the wrong side of her Captain.

Kim exhales a sigh, easing her grip on your ear as she pinches the bridge of her nose, "Right, I see. Well, thank you for being honest," She states.

You stare at the Scots' women in disbelief, "Thats' it? That's all your gonna say-- You yanked me by me ear across the airport and they just get off scot free? What the actual fuck!" You exclaim, annoyed.

"Calm down, Y/N," Alessia can clearly tell your annoyed and tries to defuse the situation.

"Calm down? Nah, sod that! If... If that were me then I actually would've been in trouble-- That's not fair!" You whine, huffing and puffing and stomping your feet around to cause a scene.

"That's enough, Y/N," Kim cuts in, her voice remaining firm, "I don't care who did it, they've admitted it now lets' grab our things and get out of here so we can go and meet the rest of the girls.

"I didn't... I didn't even get to look at the lego!" You huff in annoyance, kicking the ground beneath you as you sulk behind the rest of the girls, "I want to at least look at that!"

"I don't think so!" Kims' quick to grip a hold of your ear again as you're reluctantly pulled in the direction of where Leah, Lia, Beth and Viv are all waiting for you, "Leah! Come get yer' kid. I'm done babysittin' now!" She exclaims.

"Kimmy, lemme go-- This hurts!" You still try and break free from the Scots' womens' grip, but to no avail shes' still reluctant to let go.

"Hi, girls. Good trip?" Lia greets you all as you walk over to them.

Katie scoffs, "You could say so."

"It's been eventful," Alessia chimes in.

"So, we heard you might need one of these?" Beth smirks, holding up one of Myles' leashes in her hand as she looks you dead in the eye.

"What-- No!" You protest against the idea, scowling at the blonde, whos' finding complete humour in the situation.

Leah furrows her eyebrows in confusion as she catches up to you all, "Dare I ask what happened?" She asks.

"Y/N's just having a tantrum over lego and other things," Vic jokes.

Judging by Leahs' stoic facial expression, you guess that shes' less than happy to hear that.

"I'm never babysittin' again!" Kim states, releasing her grip on your ear as she pushes you in the direction of the blonde, "Shes' your problem now."

With that being said, Kim all but takes a hold of her luggage and starts to walk off from the rest of the group.

"Wait, no-- Hey Kim, hold on!" Leah calls out to her in sudden realisation, "We still need you to babysit when we go to camp!"

"No, no, nope. Absolutely not!" Kim shouts back in response without even turning round, "Theres' not a single chance that I'm taking care of that menace any time soon-- I need a break!" She exclaims.

"C'mon Kim, we can hardly take her to camp with us!" Beth pleads with the Scots' women.

Kim scoffs and shakes her head, "That's your problem girls, figure it out yourself!" That being said, shes' quick to make her exit out of the airport and you bet no doubt the first place shes' heading to is the nearest off license.

"You know I'm 19, right? I can take care of myself just fine-- Alright, I'll just shut up then..." You go to protest, but judging by the look that you get from all four older girls, you just decide to shut up.

"Poor Kim," Lia exhales, shaking her head.

Viv hums in agreement, "Yeah, poor Kim indeed."

"I thought I told you to behave?" Leah exhales a sigh while she looks at you in disappointment.

You were now back home, you had to deal with the scolding of a lifetime which still didn't end even when you arrived back at the flat you shared with the blonde.

Which led you to know, where the blonde was still telling you off for everything dumb and idiotic in her own words that you've done over the past few days.

"I did-- I just wanted to look at lego!" You whine, trying to justify the reasoning for your need to run off in the airport.

"Oh, really? So Kim literally dragging you through the airport by your ear was for no reason at all, was it?" Leah questions with a raised eyebrow as she unlocks the front door.

Busted.

"I hope you know that you're grounded," Leah states, firmly.

"What! Why?" Your eyes widen in disbelief.

"Because I quite clearly remember telling you to behave and you clearly didn't," Leah explains the reasoning as she continues with her usual stern facial expresion, "Therefor, you are grounded."

"You can't ground me-- I'm 19!" Your quick to protest, knowing there was probably no use in even doing that.

Leah has the audacity to smirk at you, "Oh, well that's where you're wrong there, sunshine. My house, my rules."

You continue to widen your eyes in disbelief, "What!? That's not... That's not even fair!" You whine, like the ever mature adult you are.

"It is more than fair, Y/N," Leah states, firmly as she looks you dead in the eye, "From what it seems like, between you and Kyra, you've both tormented Kim the whole trip. We had a conversation about this, didn't we? The reason for you being grounded is more than justified and I'm not going to change my mind anytime soon."

"Meany," You mumble, staring down at your shoes.

"Great, so we can't leave her alone and nor can we take her with us," Leah huffs aloud, talking about you like you weren't even there with Lia, Beth and Viv who also came back to the flat with you both since they all seemed to have shared one car.

"What do we do?" Lia questions.

"Well, there is a third option," Beth chimes in.

"What's that?" Leah furrows' her eyebrows in confusion.

Beth starts to turn to look at Viv with a coy smirk on her face, "Viv could you..."

"No, no, definitely not!" Vivs' quick to catch on to what her girlfriend was about to say and protests against the idea, "You heard what Y/N was like in Melbourne, I'm goin' to Scotland-- I'm not dealing with that!"

Spoiler alert, you do in fact end up going to Scotland.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Soooo a reply in the most recent Oil Is Thicker Than Blood release (by @dronebiscuitbat ) gave me an idea! And threw my impulse control out of my window!

BE WARNED: this contains a more than implied spicy Nuzi scene, which is canon in the universe of Oil Is Thicker Than Blood. I also tried my best to finish this so be also warned for potentially sucky writing lmao

Edit: I FOUND THE GUY THAT INSPIRED THIS SHIT IT'S @/makiyu23 THANK YOU DUDE THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE THIS WITHOUT YOU

[EAVESDROPPING]

That red eyed freak... She's gonna pay.

Crawling in the vents. She always loved crawling around, whether it's the roof, the walls, or the ventilation systems, it always felt so good and satisfying.

This time didn't feel good the usual way now. It felt good like a revenge. Fitting.

While she's doing that, she found a few trinkets along the way! Neat! Things to look at instead of her glasses! She always disliked looking at her own glasses out of boredom, it brings memories she doesn't have consent for... Y'know what else she didn't consent to?

...

Let's not joke about that time, V...

...

Anyway! Back to searching through the vents! And sending those updates on the red thing stuff too!

"robo-god i fucking love crawling it's satisfying like-..." She stops for a moment... Then sighs... "Let's not ramble about these things alone V, you'll seem crazier than you already are..."

After long minutes of crawling around in the vents and sending updates on the search, she started to hear something...

Talking?

There's people talking...

There's people talking.

"Look, i'm just sayin', we can't have these Murder Drones in 'ere at all, ya know their body count? As someone who like- counts the deaths and missing drone cases, i say they're up to like- the THOUSANDS!"

"You know Khan's orders and announcement, they're living with us now, end of. We cannot keep having this conversation, Sean..."

"Susan please just- just understand what i'm trying to say here!"

"We can't keep up a relationship if all you're gonna ramble about is the Murder Drones wanting to make amends."

A Worker with an irish accent... Rambling to another, 50% masculine 50% feminine and 100% tired sounding, about the fact that she and N are living in the bunker with them and how he's against it. Of course. If she could drop down right then and there... She would. But she can't, she made a promise... Stupid promise but hey, she cares about that idiot.

...

Stupid feelings, stupid concept of caring, stupid core, now she feels all mushy and gross...

Ughh, get back to work you trauma bag!

Beep. Update sent. And as she crawls around the vents, a message for Lizzy. Heehee Lizzy she cute- SHUT UP BRAIN.

SD-V: yo liz i caught two people talking while i crawled in the vents, wanna hear?

A few seconds later...

Lizthequeen: OMG yes!!! drop the gossip gurl!!!

SD-V: so theres these two workers talkin shit about me and n for obvious reasons and apparantly these two workers are also a dumb lovey dovey couple

Lizthequeen: oh shiz you talking about sean and susan??? oh theyre having constant problems with their relationship i heard!!

SD-V: thats what im saying. theyre in constant problems with their relationship yeah

Lizthequeen: they are fr?? daaayyuummm gurl...... are they breaking up now???

V stopped to look back and crawl a little backwards to hear...

"... Susan- Susan please don't do this to me-"

"No no no no you know what? You know what? We're done here, all you ramble about is your racism, fuck you and fuck off"

"Susan please!"

Then a slam... Then a sigh...

"... WELL GOOD RIDDANCE I FUCKING GUESS!"

She began crawling forward again... God damn.

SD-V: yup

Lizthequeen: RN????? HOLY SHIT?????

SD-V: yup

Lizthequeen: they finally broke up........ thank you for sharing the info bestie i owe u so much

SD-V: yeah you owe me a good hanging out

What the FUCK. WHY DID YOU SEND THAT WHY DID YOU SAY THAT

V immediately stopped messaging in flustered frustration, yellow filling her visor and embarrassment filling her... Everything. Fuck's sake.

...

...

...

Lizthequeen: what do u mean by that ;3c

SD-V: nothing shut up buzz off im busy anyway BYE

Then to the right goes the program...

...

...

...

That was stupid.

...

...

Okay that's processed.

As she crawled by, she began to hear more chatter... Right, people exist.

"Guy imma need to talk to ya"

"Oh no. My name in b flat. I'm in trouble"

"More like i wanna discuss something with you regarding the whole Khan's daughter and N thing..."

"... Am i in trouble?"

"Stop saying you're in trouble, i just wanna talk"

PFFFFT

"“Stop saying you're in trouble” yeah shut up before you get in trouble hehehehehe-"

"What the HELL was that?!"

V squeaked in surprise, then yelled back, attempting to threaten the two into submission.

"YOU BETTER NOT TRY ME OR I WILL DROP DOWN AND RIP YOU TO SHREDS YOU TOASTERS!!"

...

...

"Okay, no need to yell lass, we would've listened anyway"

"Yeah what Han said"

V sighed in relief and kept crawling and sending updates. Situation avoided.

...

...

Crawling by crawling by, crawling by for the sake of your life~

This is getting really boring, i fucking hate this now i wanna go home~

She sang as she crawled in the vents, sending updates every few as she found new things and new gossip, making herself laugh a little as she crawled... She needed those laughs and those moments. She needed a break from the tension and the fear. The dread. That red eyed freak...

...

That red eyed freak.

...

"You want me to lead?" She heard, faintly, as she crawled about...

What in the god damn?? Uzi??

"Lay down then"

What????????

She crawled forward and stopped to hear the possible new gossip...

...

What the fuck are they doing down there.

"Relax, okay?"

"O-okay..."

Uzi?? N?? What are they...

...

Oh they can't be.

"I-i'm not t-that insteresting"

"You're gorgeous, actually"

"Shouldn't i be saying that to y-you?"

Nuh uh they're not i don't believe... N would be a bottom though.

A little more of hearing from inside the vents, it becomes clearer as every second passes. She can't move.

She jerks a leg forward, yet it's stiff. She can't move.

She tries the same with one arm, it's stiff too. She can't move.

She tries to at least launch herself forward, but her whole body is stiff. She can't move.

She sighs... I can't move... I can't stop hearing...

"Ngh... Uzi..."

JUST MOVE LET THEM BE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOV

She jerks an arm, trying to continue crawling.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

FINALLY.

She manages to continue crawling by...

After ceaseless crawling, ending up finding nothing, and having heard quite the event... You think she'll have a word or two for them about it?

She's laid down across the ground, alone in her nest in the spire, seemingly dissociating after the events that transpired...

"Well... Damn." Her last words said in surprise.

...

...

...

...

...

We never got to go far in our relationship.

She swapped her hand up with the submachine gun and aimlessly let loose a barrage of bullets, drowning her thoughts in noise. Drowning her sorrows in noise.

Heavy breathing, panting.

...

"Let's not think of that, V..."

[n-e-t-t]

Hogwarts, 5th of February, 1977, 22:20.

Young! Remus Lupin x Fem! Gryffindor! Self-made character! Pre established plot! Smut! NSFW! Fluff! Friends to Lovers! Lovesick! One shot!

Summary: It’s a cold and bleak winter night at Hogwarts, as two friends strike up their usual idle conversations. But for some reason, this cold winters day becomes just as important as any holiday.

Warnings!: Swearing, mentions of food, scars(not self inflicted), angst, sex and nudity, unprotected sex (wrap it up), virginity, kissing, hurt/comfort, smoking, drug mention, teenage problems, mentions of violence

All of these warnings are included for authenticity, not to be romanticised or abused. ALL CHARACTERS INVOLVED ARE 18 OR OVER - NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS

A/N: 13.5k words. Oh no. I guess I babble? I hope I don’t talk that much in real life. This is my first ever fic, ever!! Please be patient, and caring. Any thoughts and suggestions on my writing would be appreciated. I don’t even know if anyone will read this, but you’ve got to try and put yourself out there!

“Oi-“

Juno stirred, groaning in protest, her brows furrowed in her state of confusion. The warmth of the large hand that squeezed her shoulder was gentle. Only then did she jolt awake, whipping her head upwards from its place on her books, ginger hair flying around from the sudden movement.

“What time is it?-“

She asked quickly, roughly, after her light slumber. Her Irish accent flowed off the tip of her tongue, golden orbs dancing around the empty library and its ornate decorations.

Hells, she really needed to get her priorities straight. Hungover and grumpy.

Remus chuckled, looking at her with a slight smirk as she started to wake. He leaned against the table, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It’s 20 over, and you look like shite.”

He said with a soft chuckle, amused by the sight of her messy hair and tired face.

“I’ve been sitting here for the last half an hour trying to wake you up.”

Remus continued, watching her head whipping around, looking around the empty library.

“You were out cold, sleeping like a little baby.”

Juno groaned again, rubbing her temples before running an idle hand through her messy hair, long and disheveled. Only then did she realise the darkness that had creeped upon the castle, the only light illuminating the room casting from the fire goblets that adorned the stone walls.

“Why didn’t you shake me harder, Moony?-“

She asked, allowing the corners of her lips to twitch upwards in a lopsided fashion, in that signature smile of hers. She finally looked up at him, Remus, her best friend, fellow Marauder, his warm hazel eyes and signature knitted sweater that smelled like chocolate and coffee.

Remus smiled back at her, a lopsided grin growing on his thin face. He loved the way she spoke his nickname, even if he pretended otherwise.

“Oh, I was going to, but it was too funny watching you being completely out of it.”

He said, crossing one ankle over the other as he leaned more against the table, raising his eyebrow and tilting his head to the side.

“And look at you, grumpy and hungover. I can smell the alcohol from here.”

He said, chuckling again, teasing her. It was obvious how comfortable he felt around her, as he let little insults and jokes slide from his tongue like normal conversation.

The mention of alcohol in any capacity made her stomach churn and bubble like the cauldrons in the potions classroom, bitter bile threatening to burn its way up her throat. Juno grimaced, scoffing with a flick of her hand as she leaned back in her chair, ancient and wooden.

“Padfoot knows how to party-“

She replied, grumbling and muttering the words.

“It’s a shame, we missed you there-“

She added, reaching up to brush off some stray crumbs off Remus’ sweater.

Remus rolled his eyes, and let a small scoff escape his lips.

“Oh, obviously,”

He said, referring to Sirius, and all the parties he hosted in the Gryffindor Common Room or the Astronomy tower.

“I was studying.”

He said in response. He felt her fingers brush against his sweater, he chuckled, raising his eyebrow.

“You trying to touch me, McLean?”

Something in the way Remus spoke those syllables made Juno’s chest tighten, though she always prided herself in masking her emotions, at least the ones she didn’t dare want anyone else to see. She hummed, rolling her amber orbs that glistened in the reflection of the fire sconces.

“Shut it, Lupin-”

She giggled, rubbing the tip of her freckled nose with the pads of her fingers.

“You and your books, and your smarty pants glasses and knowledge-”

She continued. Remus laughed, a wide grin plastered on his face.

”You’re just mad that I’m smarter than you.”

He said, a teasing tone to his voice, sticking the tip of his tongue out, like a child.

“You’re smarter than everyone-”

Juno retorted, allowing her honeyed irises to dance across the details of his face. Warm and gentle. Sweet and kind.

She let out another quiet chuckle, reaching forward to close over her leather bound books. It was a double edged sword, loving him. Loving him like a best friend, like a dog or something sweet, like apple tarts. Loving him like dreaming of how he would kiss.

But she couldn’t tell him. She’d never dare. To lose their bond, their friendship. What a waste-

Remus chuckled slightly, looking her over as she closed her books. He felt the same way about her. The way his heart beat a little faster when she smiled, or how his eyes always searched for hers in a room. The way he wanted to do anything to make sure she was comfortable, and happy. He loved her, probably a bit too much. But they were just friends. Even if he sometimes did think about what it would feel like, to kiss her.

”Only you would get mad because I’m smarter,”

He said.

“Maybe you should try reading one of these books sometime.”

He continued, a cheeky smirk on his lips.

”You might actually learn something.”

He loved pushing her buttons. But he also knew that he could, and she wouldn’t mind. They had gotten used to each other over the years, to the light insults, and sarcastic comments.

‘What more is there to learn when the only thing I’m interested in is you?’

The thought ran through Juno’s mind, like a summer storm battering against the confines of her skull. Or maybe it was the alcohol, who’s to tell?

“Maybe,”

Juno hummed, tapping her fingernails against the hardback book.

“Or maybe I should learn to refuse wine from Padfoot-”

Remus chuckled, running a hand through his already messy dark hair. That was already a first step in the right direction. Refusing the alcohol from the party animals. He thought it was a miracle she was even still awake.

“Maybe you should. You’re gonna end up face down unconscious in the middle of potions one of these days-”

He said with a laugh, raising his eyebrows and giving her another smirk.

He couldn’t stop his eyes from dancing over her face, taking her beauty in. He had already memorized all the details on her face. The small beauty mark she had on her left cheek, or the way her lips were naturally pouting in a cute way.

“How many cups did you even have last night?”

“More than enough, clearly-“

Juno grumbled. In some ways, it was amusing to think about their teenage antics, to wash away every responsibility that fell at her feet. To be defiant, to refuse a smile to anyone that asked. But it was futile, and everything moves with time.

“Kind of wish I was just burning my skin off by the fireplace, studying with you-”

She spoke the words quietly, softly, genuinely.

Remus chuckled, shaking his head. He remembered his younger years at Hogwarts, the many nights he spent with his friends, talking in the common room until late, drinking firewhiskey and sneaking off to do dumb little pranks. He found himself missing that sometimes, before all the responsibilities.

He looked at her, his eyebrows raising slightly.

“Then why don’t you study with me?”

Juno smiled, warmly, the dimples on her cheeks decorating her face like Christmas ornaments on a mantlepiece. She looked at him, unable to wrap her head around how someone with his condition could be so warm. So kind.

“I will-“

She replied.

“Solemnly swear-“

She added, watching him roll up his sleeves.

Remus chuckled softly, his eyes fixated on her smile, the way her dimples adorned her freckled face. He could feel the heat in his cheeks as she smiled at him, his heart beat picking up a pace.

“Is that your best attempt at a serious tone?”

He smirked, teasing her and her lighthearted ways. He could probably count the amount of times she had been serious on one hand. It was part of her charm, in a way. She never took life too seriously, and didn’t waste time on being sad or upset. She always had a small grin on her lips, a cheeky tone in her voice, and a playful eye-roll on the horizon.

She groaned once more, head pounding, most likely from dehydration.

She pushed herself out the wooden chair as its legs screeched against the floorboards, smoothing out the fabric of her skirt with her palms before tilting her head to look upon Remus’ full height.

“Can’t help how I talk, Moons-”

She quipped, heart clenching as she breathed in the scent of him.

Remus chuckled again, rolling his eyes. That was typical Juno, not being able to stay serious for more than two minutes at a time. Though he couldn’t really mind it. It was what made her who she was, the thing that had made him notice her in the first place.

He watched as she stood up, smoothing down the fabric of her skirt. His eyes involuntarily danced over her body, taking in every inch of her.

“I know. That’s what makes you Juno. Pretty sure I could tell if someone had replaced you, like a shapeshifter or something-”

His eyes locked with hers, his heart beating in his ear. It was getting harder to control himself, to not push her up against a wall, and do all the things he’d wanted to do for months. Months? Years? He’d lost track of time.

“You’re gonna have the worst headache in the morning. And no one to blame but yourself-”

He teased, his thin lips pulling into an amused smirk.

She never had anyone else to blame apart from herself with anything. She was always her own demise, self destructive and selfish.

Maybe she was too harsh on herself.

Then she spotted it, the bright red packet of cigarettes hanging loose in Remus’ bag, peeking out menacingly.

“Come outside with me-”

She spoke, for once, sincerely. Her honeyed irises darted from Remus’ handsome face, to the cigarettes and back again.

Remus’ eyebrows raised, as he grabbed the cigarettes from his bag, taking two from the pack, lighting them both with his wand.

“Of course.”

Juno gasped and waved her hands about in front of Remus’ face, before grasping him by the sweater and pulling him towards the door.

“Not in here! Christ Moony!-”

She exclaimed, voice dropping to a whisper as her brown leather shoes scrapped against the old wooden floors.

“You boys will keep me in detention forever!-”

She could smell it already, the musky smoke staining her uniform. Luckily the library was near the courtyard, once they climbed the stairs, of course, the chill of the night nipping her kneecaps and kissing her cheeks once they had finally emerged.

Remus chuckled sheepishly, rolling his eyes. As she pulled him towards the entrance of the courtyard, he had to fight off a grin. He felt her hand grip tighter in the fabric of his sweater, as she yanked him out into the cold night. He took a long drag, letting the smoke roll off his tongue over his thin lips.

“You’re a bit overdramatic-”

He commented, a cheeky smirk on his lips as he watched her struggle to not shiver in the cold of the February night. He took another drag of the cigarette, before moving closer to her, to try and warm her up.

“You’re gonna get yourself sick-”

“I’m always sick-“

She replied, giggling softly as they gathered themselves underneath the large weeping willow tree. She could see the stars peaking through the vines, the constellations clear as day as Remus’ warmth hummed against her skin through her blouse.

If this was the end of the world, or the collapse of time, Juno would be satisfied. Joyful at his side.

“Stars are pretty tonight-”

She commented.

Remus chuckled, shaking his head at her comment. It was true that she was always sick. The girl was a disaster when it came to taking care of herself. Snotty nose and cranky attitude. He knew he’d have to get on her about it eventually.

“Yeah,”

He said, his eyes still fixed on her lips.

“They really are.”

He felt the cool night air stinging against his face, blowing back his messy, dark locks of hair and nipping at his neck. Despite the cold, he felt strangely warmed. He wrapped his arm around her, to pull her close against his side. He felt her shiver slightly, and he rubbed his hand gently up and down her arm, the sleeves of his sweater covering her skin. He had the urge to just bury his face against her hair.

Juno smiled at the action, effortlessly affectionate and endearing. Something friends do. He was so sweet, damn it-

Her shoulder pressed into Remus’ chest as she crossed her ankles, shifting her weight between each foot.

“Have you and Prongs made up yet?-“

She asked, taking a sharp inhale from Remus’ cigarette that lingered between his fingers as she looked up at him from the corner of her eye.

Remus’ eyes darkened slightly, frowning at the mention of James. It felt like ages since they had last tried to talk to one another. He took a drag after her, letting the smoke roll out through his nose as he exhaled it, and looked at her.

“No. But it’s not like it matters anymore-“

He said, his tone sharp and cold.

“I don’t know if we will for a while-“

He added. He didn’t know if they would be able to fix whatever mess this was, but he certainly wasn’t happy about the whole thing. Losing one of his best friends wasn’t on his list of things to do this year.

Juno hated it. Absolutely raging at the turmoil within her group of close friends. It was ride or die, it was special, irreplaceable.

“Yes, you will-“

Juno spoke, Irish accent flowing through the crisp air, breath visible.

“You have to-”

It made her heart hurt, watching Remus try and lock eyes with James across the breakfast table, yearning for a white flag of surrender.

“Its us. All of us. The Marauders, Moony-”

Remus sighed. He knew she was right. The Mauraders were inseparable, they always had been. But this fight was severe, one of the biggest arguments they’d ever had. He didn’t know if he could just forget it all and go back to how things were before. The thought of it tugged at his heart painfully.

“I’ll try, as soon as he makes an effort. But I don’t know, Juno… this isn’t like our regular squabbles.”

He leaned his head down slightly, so his forehead was almost resting against hers. He couldn’t help but take in a deep inhale of her scent, the smell of parma violets and warm sugar so sweet around him.

Fuck personal space.

“I want to fix things… I don’t want to cause the entire group to fall apart-.”

The look in Remus’ warm gaze was jarring, like he was swallowing his pain until he couldn’t help but vomit it back up again.

“It’s not your fault-“

She replied, snubbing the cigarette out against the bark of the tree.

“James is sensitive right now. Him and Lily are trying to figure out their relationship, he’ll come around. I swear it-”

She explained, suddenly feeling like the weight of the topic had drowned out her hangover.

Remus chuckled bitterly, and pulled her even closer. He knew she was right, of course. His issues with James really weren’t his fault, he’d done nothing wrong.

But he couldn’t help but feel responsible. After all, none of his friends were exactly stable right now. Everyone had an issue of their own to deal with, and the one who usually put everything and everyone before himself, was himself falling apart.

“I just want everything to go back to normal… I miss my friends-“

He muttered, burying his head against the crook of her neck. He hated himself for feeling vulnerable and lost. That wasn’t the role he was supposed to be playing. But he wanted to let himself be weak. Just once. Just a few moments with her alone.

Her heart shattered, and regardless of her easy going nature, she was serious. Genuine. Unmasked.

“Moons-”

She whispered, trying not to slip into the void from a simple moment of intimacy between them.

She cradled the back of his head, fingers delving into the dark chestnut strands in an attempt to comfort him. The one that always had his shit together.

“I know you do. It’s- it’s going to be okay, I promise-“

He could feel her fingers gently twisting around the strands of his messy hair, and he couldn’t help the way he closed his eyes and slightly melted into her touch. He couldn’t fight the way his heart thumped hard against his rib cage, and the butterflies that were fluttering around in his stomach.

Juno, his best friend, his partner in crime, the one who always laughed at his dumb jokes, who never once failed to light up a room when she entered.

The girl he’d fallen head over heels in love with.

“How do you know?-“

He mumbled, his lips almost touching the silky soft skin of her neck. He pushed himself even closer against her, his need to be close to her overwhelming him. It was almost an addiction.

How did she know? How could she know? Remus was the smart one, the clever one. Juno wasn’t any of those things, in her mind at least.

She swallowed, the heat of Remus’ breath wafting over her neck.

“Because Prongs is stupid. But he’s loyal, like a dog-“

She replied, hushed and quiet.

“And Padfoot said that he didn’t know how to say sorry to you-“

He let out a deep sigh, his shoulders slumping at her words. That was just like them. They didn’t know how to communicate. Of course they didn’t know how to deal with things like this.

His fingers pressed against her skin, fingers tracing mindless shapes into her waist. As if he was afraid she’d disappear if he let go.

“How do you and Padfoot always know these things.. you two always know everything-“

“Sources. We have our sources, I guess.”

“Bloody gossip hounds, you two-“

Remus replied, grumbling. Juno sniggered, pulling away just enough to look up at him with those golden eyes. He was so pretty she thought she could cry, or at least slit the throats of all those other girls that wanted him, as selfish as that was. She didn’t even have the right to think that way.

“Anyways, enough with the depressing shite, huh?-“

This was Scotland, in February. Depressing was an understatement.

Remus let out a soft chuckle, his fingers still tracing his mindless patterns.

“I hate it when you get smart on me-“

He teased, though there was a hint of seriousness to it. It was like she could always read his thoughts and feelings, she just knew who he was. The things he didn’t like people to know about him.

He was quiet for a moment. He took in her features, the way her eyes gleamed in the dark, the way her lips looked rosy in the cold. He sighed out, a tiny smile twitching on his lips. He glanced up at the night sky, the stars and moon shining above them.

“You know the night sky pretty well, don’t you?-“

Juniper McLean. Astronomy extraordinaire. Record holder for how many times a telescope lens could be broken.

Remus’ syllables reminded her of something she had done last night at that party, whilst Sirius was too busy snogging blonde girls to pay any attention. She smiled toothily, before pulling away from Remus’ grasp.

“Can I show you something?-”

She asked, not even waiting for an answer before butting in again.

“Mary did it last night-”

She added, remembering the taste of red berry wine and firecracker whiskey on her tongue.

Remus quirked an eyebrow at her question, watching as she pulled away to stand in front of him. He studied her face as she spoke, noting the way her eyes gleamed and a small smirk tugged at the corners of her lips. She was up to something. He didn’t know what, but he wasn’t sure if he liked the look on her face.

“Mary did what last night?”

He asked, his voice filled with a hint of wariness.

Juno chuckled, amused by the curiosity in Remus’ hazel orbs that always lit up at the sound of something new.

“Just look-“

She chirped, before turning around to face in the other direction, her back to him. She was lucky it was the dead of night, or else there was absolutely no way in hell she would be this daring.

Juno swiftly pulled her blouse over her head, cursing at the chill of the air on her newly exposed skin. Her other hand came to pull her hair out of the way, revealing Mary’s handiwork. Ink from a quill, connecting the freckles on her back to one another, mapping out in constellations across her bare back.

Remus felt his eyes widen as she turned away from him, his heart thumped wildly against his chest as she slipped off her blouse, leaving her bare back completely exposed. His eyes instantly darted to the smooth skin of her back, tracing the constellations drawn on her skin. He hadn’t even realized he was moving his feet until he was standing right behind her, his eyes drinking in the sight in front of him.

"Merlin…”

His voice was low and hoarse, eyes tracing every little tiny mark on her skin. His fingers itched to reach out and touch the skin of her back. They ached to touch her, to feel the warmth of her body under his fingers. She was so close, and everything inside him screamed to just reach out, but instead he stood frozen in place, completely mesmerized by the girl in front of him.

He forced himself to breathe, his fingers clenching into a tight fist. He couldn’t allow himself to touch her. He knew he’d just want more.

Remus’ lack of words wasn’t unusual to her, knowing he was taking in the sight before him. It was enough to blossom her cheeks like a garden in spring, something she could easily blame on the winter air.

“Crazy, huh?-“

She spoke, giggling as her shoulders lightly bounced.

“She showed it to me in the mirror when she was done-“

She added, kicking her feet against the grass idly, holding the fabric of her blouse against her chest.

It took Remus a few moments to be able to speak coherently again. The sight of her bare back, the way the stars were drawn across her skin, the tiny little freckles that covered her.

"Yeah… yeah, it’s..”

He swallowed, his eyes fixed on her skin.

“Can I touch it?”

Juno’s honeyed gaze was locked upon a tree in the distance, watching the way it swayed back and forth. So simple, making oxygen for them both to breathe. Something that had a clear purpose in life.

She snapped herself out of her own chaotic mind, tongue darting out to wet her lips before nodding.

“Yeah,”

She murmured, thankful that he couldn’t see her face right now. Always a gentleman.

“You didn’t need to ask, Moons-”

His breath hitched at her words, as his heart throbbed painfully hard. He took a moment to compose himself, his throat dry as he slowly allowed his hand to reach out towards her. His fingers shook faintly as they hovered over her skin, as if he was almost scared to touch her. When his hand came into contact with her skin it was impossibly light, his fingers so gentle it was almost as if feathers were brushing against her back. Though his touch was soft as a caress, his hands trembled ever so slightly.

Juno’s breathing hitched in her throat, lungs constricting at his touch. Light and gentle like a leaf in the wind.

“That tickles-“

She spoke, giggling innocently. Never in a million years would she have let anyone else touch her like that, let alone have showed them like this.

But this was Remus. She could be herself with him, utterly and completely. She could remember it now, all those years ago when they took the piss out of people on the Hogwarts Express for the first time.

Remus was silent, his heart beating wildly in his chest as she giggled at his touch. The sound of her laughter made his hands shake and his mind scream like a mandrake.

The memory of them sitting on the train, laughing and making fun of people came to his mind, and his heart ached at the thought of how much things had changed, yet the two of them were still the same.

“…Can I ask you something?”

He breathed out, his voice hoarse and strained.

At that, Juno pulled her blouse back over her torso, adjusting it accordingly before turning back around to face him.

“Anything-“

She replied, flashing him her signature smile, lopsided and cheeky. She had to pretend she didn’t feel anything, that her stomach didn’t clench at his touch, or that her mind didn’t swim with what it could possibly feel like for Remus to touch her everywhere.

His gaze was fixed on her smile as she turned around to look at him, his eyes tracing her lips, and down her neck. He swallowed before speaking.

“Are you.. Are you dating anyone right now?”

He instantly regretted the question as soon as the words left his mouth. What if she was dating someone? Worse, what if she was in love with someone? He felt his heart clench at the thought, as he looked into her golden eyes, praying that she would say no.

Juno scrunched her brows, but her smile didn’t falter. She looked up at him inquisitively, head tilted to the side as she examined the features that had grown so familiar to her, the details that never left her mind. Remus’ glasses, black framed and old. She could picture him nose deep in a book right now, stuffing his mouth with chocolate to stave off his impending werewolf transformation.

“If I was, don’t you think you’d know about it?-“

She replied, Irish accent light and airy, breath visible in the cold night.

Remus felt himself take a deep breath and relax slightly at her words. The idea of her dating someone sent pangs of jealousy through his heart, though he pushed those thoughts out of his head rather quickly. He let the corners of his mouth tug up into a tiny smile at her words. Trust her to say something snarky as a reply.

“Fair point. I suppose I’d know if you had some idiot trailing after you.-“

He teased, his voice soft and low. Gods, he was that idiot, wasn’t he?

He mentally cursed himself for a moment, but was able to push the negative thoughts away. He just wanted to be able to look at her, to hear her voice, to touch her and talk to her.

“Are you.. seeing anyone then?“

He inquired, shoving his hands into his pockets, trying to seem as casual as possible, even though he was anything but casual on the inside. He was pretty sure he could physically feel his heart beating in his chest, thrumming against his ribcage.

Juno began wondering what the hell had been in his porridge when he ate it this morning, or if someone had cursed him as a prank.

She chuckled, shaking her head in response.

“Are you asking me if I’m having sex with anyone, Moons?-“

She asked, point blank. She was never one to beat around the bush, especially around her best friends.

But Merlin’s beard, why was he even asking?

Remus felt his face heat up at her question, a flush of pink spreading across his cheeks. He tried to keep his composure, he really tried, but her blunt question caught him completely off guard. He felt the words get stuck in his throat, stuttering like an idiot for a few seconds, before finally being able to reply.

”I- No-“

He said, a strangled squeak in his words. He was a mess, and he knew it.

“No! I didn’t mean-“

He paused, his hands clenching and unclenching in his pockets. His heart was racing a million miles a second, his ears pink with embarrassment. He knew he should just stop speaking and move on, but the need to get his point across forced more words out of his mouth.

“I wasn’t- I swear I wasn’t asking that! I wouldn’t even want to know, that’s none of my business-“

He was babbling now. His face was red, this was definitely the worst outcome possible. For someone so clever, he felt like an idiot.

She wanted to stop him, to grab him by the broad shoulders and stuff his mouth with a rag. But in all honesty, the thought only made her giggle more. The sound vibrated through her chest, her hand reaching up to cover her mouth.

“No, Moony, I’m not shagging anyone-“

She replied through her laughter, leaning back against the willow tree.

“Are you shagging anyone?-“

Gods, is she still drunk?

She asked the question like she had asked him if he wanted a cup of tea, simple and nonchalant.

Remus’ mouth opened and closed, his mind completely malfunctioning. She looked so casual as she leaned against the tree, her eyes sparkling with laughter. He could feel his face heat up with embarrassment, and he mentally cursed himself for not being able to speak.

He was supposed to be eloquent. He was supposed to be suave. He was supposed to be sophisticated. This was a complete disaster.

“No-“ He said, still as flustered as he was before.

He paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts and find his words. The idea of himself in Sirius’ or James’ shoes, the endless charm pouring from his lips, being fucking cool. It made his stomach twist into a thousand knots. He didn’t feel like he was the same as them. They chose to embrace their Animagus abilities, he didn’t.

‘You’re so fucking selfish. They do it for you.’

He ran a hand through his hair, fingers tugging at the soft locks in agitation.

”I don’t.. that’s not something I..“

He couldn’t even finish that sentence, it was all just word vomit. He was stumbling over every word he spoke, and he felt like burying his face in his palms.

Juno felt her heart swell in her chest, the night breeze dancing through her long ginger hair as she looked at him sweetly. Like she always did.

He looked so pretty with flushed cheeks.

“Take a breath, Lupin-“

She replied, her voice close to a whisper.

“Where’s my friend gone? Is he in there? My witty, sarcastic Moony?-“

She asked, eyeing his ruffled chestnut hair.

He closed his eyes as she spoke, the sound of her voice a breath of fresh air over the smoke inside him. He took a slow breath, taking a moment to compose himself even just slightly. He felt her eyes on him, the way she looked at him, the way she called him Moony.

That last bit forced a tiny smile onto the edge of his mouth. He opened his eyes to look at her, letting his gaze fix upon her golden eyes and her glowing face.

“He’s.. in there somewhere.”

He murmured back.

His eyes fell onto her face, looking at her soft features, her smooth skin. His breath was a bit less labored, his heart still racing but at a less erratic tempo. She was so beautiful, and she stood here in front of him, close enough that he could reach out and touch her.

‘Red is my favourite colour now. Didn’t realise it before.’

“And what about you, McLean? Juno, Is she still there?-“

He asked quietly, his voice barely a whisper.

Juno stood silently for a moment, pondering the question herself. It really shouldn’t be that complicated, a simple yes would suffice. But she smiled, pushing her tongue against the backs of her teeth as she stared back at him.

Finally, she nodded, hair falling across her freckled cheeks as her fingers pulled and toyed with the cotton of her blouse.

“You bring her out, you know. From behind the curtain-“

She spoke, beginning to sound like one of Remus’ handwritten stories. Like she was covered in his ink.

He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. It was only a tiny smile, a fleeting moment, but it was there all the same, and it was genuine.

“I do? What am I, the magician then?”

He chuckled, a light twinge in his voice. He wanted to laugh, really laugh at her theatrics.

Remus’ laughter was contagious, like a deadly disease she would never want to be cured from. Juno laughed too, mirroring the twitch of his lips.

“Yeah, something like that-“

She replied.

“You’d look good in the top hat-“

She raised her hand a little, pointing to the top of his head, at the little tufts of hair that pointed in different directions.

He felt the grin that was growing on his lips, his head tilting forward as she pointed at his messy hair. He let out another chuckle, a real one this time. It rumbled through his chest, a deep and somewhat hoarse sound, but a sincere one all the same. He ran a hand through his hair self-consciously, the strands sticking up in an even more messy fashion.

“I’d look good in one of those capes too, I think.-“

He joked, his voice rough and low.

His eyes flicked back up to her at his own words, the tone of his voice coming as a surprise even to himself. He hadn’t meant the words to sound like that, that low and husky, but it had slipped out before he could stop himself. He looked at her, her wild copper hair, her freckles, those golden eyes that seemed to see right through him.

He wondered if she could see the desire that burned inside his chest. The need to touch her, to pull her into his arms and hold her and keep her there.

She nodded once more, lightly nibbling her plump bottom lip between her teeth as she stifled the bubble of laughter that inflated in her chest like a balloon. Remus’ hair, now messier than before, spoke volumes in itself. He could look worse and Juno would still look at him the way she looked at him now.

“We could do a traveling show, you could saw me in half or something, we can laugh at getting booed because we’re shite-“

Juno replied, rubbing a knuckle over her eye and accidentally smudging her periwinkle blue eyeshadow, glittery and messy.

Remus felt a small laugh tear its way out of his throat at her idea, leaning back against the tree trunk beside her. He gave her a side-eyed glance, his eyes flicking over her face and around her eye, noticing the smudged blue tint.

“Perhaps not the sawing in half. A bit too gruesome for my taste. I quite like you in one piece.-“

He said, his voice quiet but filled with mirth.

His eyes fell onto her makeup mishap, and he tilted his head curiously. He hesitated for half a second, then he found himself moving towards her. He felt like he was acting on instinct, no logic behind why he was suddenly standing in front of her. His fingers found their way to her cheek, his calloused thumb gently rubbing over the smudged makeup on her skin. If anyone saw them, there was probably a million different conclusions jumping into their heads, but Remus couldn’t be bothered with any of it.

It was one of the most intimate things anyone had ever done to her, despite it all. The simplicity, the innocence of it. It forced her to look him in the eyes, to soak in the warmth of his thumb and melt into it.

“You’re too good to me, Moons-“

She whispered, dancing her honeyed orbs between each of his earthy pools.

“You couldn’t even saw me in half?-“

She spoke again, unable to stop herself from spilling.

Remus’ entire being seemed to be hyper-focused on the feeling of her skin against his fingers.

“Maybe if you asked nice-“

He murmured in reply, his voice rough and raspy but dripping with genuine affection.

“Nah. Not even for money.-“

He added. He hadn’t really meant to do any more than fix her makeup, but the thought of pulling back now made his heart ache. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, staring down into her eyes, his thumb gently rubbing over her skin.

“Perhaps you have some kind of voodoo over me, you’ve put a spell on me or something.-“

He joked, his words only half true.

“And change the way you think? Never-“

Juno quipped, far too in love with his mind to even consider the option.

That’s how she knew she couldn’t be that selfish, or desperate. There was nothing more terrifying than losing him. Than losing this.

The night only became colder, nipping her nose and slicing her lungs with every inhale.

“Let’s go inside, yeah?-“

His eyes flickered over her face, taking in every small twitch of eyebrow and corner of the mouth, every tiny detail that made her who she was.

He felt as she shivered. He let his hand drop slowly from her face, grabbing her hand instead, his fingers intertwining with hers and almost recoiling from the frostbite.

“You’re freezing.”

He started to walk slowly, hand in hers, the warmth of his grip probably the only thing keeping her from turning into a popsicle.

He had a clear destination in mind. The Astronomy tower. He would take her up there, and they could sit under the stars, next to the muggle space heater Juno had managed to knick from her parents and enchant to ensure no electricity was needed.

‘Smart girl.’

Perhaps it was a cliche, in fact it definitely was. He loved the stars, and he didn’t fear the moon when she was around.

Juno’s leather shoes clipped against the marble floors leading to the Astronomy tower, her fingers clenching and unclenching in Remus’ large hand.

“Gods, so predictable, Moony-“

She teased, ducking her head down to slip herself through the small doorway. It was empty, dead as summer. The telescopes unused and rusted during the winter season.

Remus let go of her hand, and instead took a seat on the cold floor, his back leaned against the wall as he looked out over the breathtaking view. The night was clear, the sky full of endless stars. It was mesmerizing.

He patted the floor beside him, looking over at her, the smile still on his face, an encouraging look in his eyes. He wanted her closer, wanted to have her next to him, as close as space would allow.

“Turn that thing on, would you?-“

He said softly, his voice low in the dark of the tower.

Remus didn’t have to tell her twice.

Juno manoeuvred herself closer, swallowing her heightened heartbeat hoping to muffle the ache. She slid down the wall until her backside touched the floor, pulling her knees close to her chest before letting the leg closest to Remus flop down, resting against his thigh as she swished her wand, igniting the radiated heat.

“It’s nice,”

She started to speak, allowing the rough wool of his sweater to itch against her skin happily. What was nice? Gods, so many things about this were nice.

Remus felt her settle down beside him, her body heat seeping into him through their close proximity, and he had to force down a shiver before he spoke again, humming in agreement.

“It is. It’s very nice-“

He agreed, his voice almost a whisper.

He took his eyes away from the stars, slowly turning his head to look at her instead. She was so close. He could see the way her freckles were sprinkled over her face like glitter, and the way copper strands of hair fell across her forehead. Her eyelashes were like little brushstrokes, dark against her skin, creating shadows on her pale skin. Her eyes, those golden eyes…

He felt the ache in his chest return, more insistently than last time.

Remus’ gaze was felt before it was seen, burning into the skin of her right cheekbone, slowly flowing down the expanse of her neck and collarbone. He could burn her all he liked. He had been burning her for years.

“Thanks for waking me, in the library-“

Juno whispered, digits idly fiddling with the flesh of Remus’ knuckles, like it was a normal thing for friends to do. God, what was normal? Anything? Really?

Remus felt himself shiver, just a slight one, when she started fiddling with his hand, her fingertips gently tracing the skin. Why did he let her do this? Why was he letting her toy with his heart the way she did? Why was he enjoying it so much? Why did he want her closer until he couldn’t breathe anymore?

Why couldn’t he get her out of his damn nightmares?

“I- Uhm… It was getting late, I just- I-“

He mumbled, his voice catching in his throat.

He stumbled over his words, something he hadn’t done in years until this night. He was always cool and collected, he never stuttered, he always knew what to say. Not with fucking pretty girls, but- Why was he stumbling over himself now? Stuttering and mumbling like he was fifteen and had just discovered that the girl he liked existed. So stupid. He felt like he was fifteen. He felt like he was fifteen and utterly lovestruck and scared to death.

Juno knew him. She knew him like she knew how Butterbeer was far too sweet and how loud Sirius shrieked when he seen a spider. But surely, the heavens above would have told her what was chewing him up.

Either that or she was just plain blind. In denial. Maybe both.

“Moons?-“

She spoke, unbeknownst to her until she heard her own voice. She was looking at him now, drinking in the sight of him.

“Is the moon making you queasy?-“

Remus let himself look at her, taking in her freckled face and her wild hair and her lips, the way her lips moved around those words, around the nickname.

He chuckled lightly at her question, though it was quiet and forced, a weak attempt at normalcy.

“I feel like I’m going crazy...”

He mumbled without thinking. He cursed under his breath, his eyes widening a little as the confession slipped out. It wasn’t meant for her to hear, yet it had. He didn’t think before he spoke, his brain was just a big jumbled mess at this point. It was all her fault.

The air went still, like every gust of wind ceased to exist in the moonlight. Juno’s digits ceased their actions alongside it, her brows being the only thing to move, furrowing in response to Remus’ confession. But what exactly was he confessing to? Feeling mental? Everyone feels a little mental sometimes.

“Crazy?-“

Juno queried, leaving the moon behind to look at Remus. The money she would pay to sneak a peek into his mind was abysmal. Maybe she felt crazy, too.

“It’s not even half full-“

She spoke, pointing at the crescent moon.

He let out a soft chuckle, feeling how the air was thick between them, a heavy burden on his chest. He looked up at the moon, trying to look away from her, looking at the stars and the night sky instead.

His voice was quiet, barely a whisper as he spoke again. He had already slipped up, he wasn’t sure that he could handle it again.

“It’s not the moon-“

He mumbled, his eyes tracing endless constellations in the night sky. Visions of her back flooded his mind, taunting him.

He let out a slow, shaky breath, before finally turning to look at her again. He swallowed hard, his jaw clenched shut as he slowly spoke, his voice low and rough, and just above a whisper.

“I can’t even describe it-“

He closed his eyes, squeezing them shut and letting his head fall back against the stone wall behind him, his fingers clenching into fists in his lap, the knuckles white from exertion.

Why could he never say what he wanted? Why couldn’t he talk to her? He was a poet, for merlin’s sake, he should be able to find the words.

Remus was so full of life. So human. Not even his affliction could take that out of him. Or the ivory fangs, the large talons.

Juno wanted to write a book about him, or a song. She wanted to drink from his glass and leave a cherry red lipstick mark on the rim, and maybe then he’d kiss her when he was thirsty.

“If you don’t describe it, it’s lost to the void-“

She whispered, nudging his broad shoulder with her upper arm.

A shiver went down Remus’ spine at the touch, a breath being forced from his lungs as he felt the touch through his sweater. God, her touch was intoxicating.

He let out a dry, humorless chuckle at her words, tilting his head down a little so that his eyes met hers again. There was something in his gaze, something desperate, something panicked, something vulnerable.

“You’ll hate me for it-“

He mumbled, the words falling from his lips before he had a chance to stop himself. His voice was rough as he spoke, his eyes flickering over her face, watching her reaction, searching for a trace of something in the golden depths of her. Anything, a sign, anything that he could cling to that could tell him what she was thinking, feeling, how she would react when he told her.

The longer Juno stared back, the less she thought she knew him. He was carefree, light and focused, a stark difference to what she was looking at now. Nothing ever bothered him. Nothing was ever too serious, too hard. He stitched his own wounds with a steady hand every full moon, biting on a cloth so he wouldn’t wake the other boys.

She returned to the surface of her mind, shaking her head as she kicked off her shoes, letting them clatter to the side.

“Well, you know that’s not true, Lupin-“

He couldn’t focus on her words, every sound being swallowed by the roar of his own heart in his ears. He could only look at her. Look at the way she tilted her head, the way her hair moved with the slight action, the way her eyes bore into his with so much conviction.

His eyes followed her as she kicked off her shoes, taking in the way her skirt rode up a little in the process, and the glimpse of skin that was revealed.

“You don’t know that-“

He mumbled, his voice cracking.

“I know that, so uncomfortably well-“

Juno almost cut him off on his last syllables, injecting her words into the atmosphere.

“Something is eating you and I want to hear about it,”

She encouraged, stomach clenching at the puppy dog expression Remus seemed to sport on his face like it would cost too much to use it again. Getting his moneys worth.

Remus swallowed hard, looking down at his hands in his lap, watching how they trembled involuntarily, a nervous tick of his. He couldn’t see her eyes on him, feel the way she was watching him so intently, looking right through him, right into the darkest parts of him.

He knew he should stop while he could. Stop now and there was a chance that they could still be something that resembled friends. He needed to stop.

‘Stop. Now.’

He drew in a shaky breath, his shoulders hunch and tense as he looked up at her again, his eyes meeting hers, almost immediately regretting the move, like a shitty game of chess. She looked so open, so vulnerable, in a way that he’d never really seen her before.

Maybe he could try. Maybe he could be completely honest with her, and just tell her how he felt, confess everything, tell her what she did to him, how she made him feel. His heart was thudding so fast now it felt like a small bird trying to break free from a prison made of ribs. His hands were sweating. He forced in another shaky breath.

It hit him in that moment. That sudden realization. The cold, hard truth. It felt like a bucket of ice cold water, like he had been doused by it completely.

He was in love with her. All the way, 100%, helplessly in love with her.

At this point, Juno was on edge. Remus had pulled her all the way to the edge, far enough to see the waves below the cliff side, at least.

‘Gods, give me your pain, I’ll take it. Nothing hurts that much, right?’

She thought, running her tongue against her molars.

She didn’t say anything, this wasn’t about her. She didn’t need to make it about her. She lifted her pointer finger, circling the space on her chest where her heart lay underneath, watching Remus’ pupils on their travels. A silent voice, something that said ‘Say it, I dare you.’

Remus’ watched the movement, slow and graceful like the wave of a wand, yet powerful in its simplicity, in its silent message. He felt a shiver go down his spine, his eyes fixated on her hand, moving in slow circles on her chest.

‘I’ll carry it for you.’

The mere thought of speaking made him want to break down, run away and never look back. Fall sleep in the Shrieking Shack. Yet her eyes, her eyes were pulling him in, looking at him with so much earnest, telling him that he could. That she wanted him to.

And who was he to deny her what she asked for?

“I’m so fucking in love with you-“

Silence, ominous. Comical.

Suddenly, Juno’s head felt like a microwave oven. She wasn’t sure if her heart was even working. Maybe she had passed out from dehydration, or Sirius’ iconic parties have slowly turned her eardrums to mush.

She knew she was alive and breathing when she swallowed the saliva that had pooled in her mouth, amber irises focusing on Remus’ face.

“You’re so fucking what?-“

She asked, almost breathlessly, attempting to avoid her own expression in Remus’ glasses, focusing on the scar indented into his jaw instead.

Remus couldn’t help the breathless, almost humorless chuckle that escaped past his lips at her question, or the nervous smirk that spread across his face.

He had done it. He’d said it out loud. He should throw himself a party.

“I said, I’m so fucking in love with you-“

He repeated it again, each word spoken with a newfound confidence.

Now that the words had finally left his lips, he found that he didn’t want to stop saying them. He wanted to repeat the words, over and over, again and again, until they had burned a permanent mark on her heart, on her mind, on her soul, so that she would never forget, never doubt it.

If Amortentia was a feeling, this was it. Like the weeds had been plucked from Juno’s guts.

“Like, as friends?-“

She spoke, wide eyed and innocent.

She wasn’t bloody stupid, of course it wasn’t as friends. Well, it was, at some point. But not now. She had never felt more alive, like she was enough for somebody. For him.

Remus held her gaze, a flicker of amusement in his eyes at her question, the barest hint of a smirk on his thin lips. He wasn’t buying her innocent act. He let out a low, breathless chuckle, letting his head fall back against the wall, a soft thud sounding in the silence, as if to say ’really?’

“Like friends? You wanna play that game?”

He asked, a hint of a challenge in his voice. It was fun, trying to read each other.

“I’m so fucking kidding-“

Juno rushed the words out, orbs becoming half lidded as she quickly tilted her head the right way, capturing his lips between her own before she had a chance to hesitate, to question herself.

Suddenly, it was a rainy Sunday that kissed her lips, the taste of him like coffee after a large meal. The feeling went straight to her brain, dopamine in a nostalgic sense suffocating their friendship.

Screw it. They could call it something else now.

Remus’ eyes fluttered shut immediately at the touch, his breath hitching in his chest, his heart stuttering for a beat. Her lips were as soft as they looked, and he felt as if he were drowning in the feeling, as if he was sinking deeper and deeper into it, and he would willingly let it happen. He was quick to respond, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer, one hand burying itself in her hair.

It was a messy kiss, not really well thought out, but it was perfect, she was perfect.

She should have been gentler, graceful like a lady. How could she be soft when her emotions were so loud? Juno pulled away, just enough to breathe in Remus’ velvet breath, saliva mixed like a dangerous cocktail. She rested her freckled nose against Remus’ cheekbone, face flushed and heated.

“Did that feel right? For you?-“

She asked, an Irish whisper ghosting over Remus’ skin.

Remus let out a low, soft noise, a sound somewhere between a moan and a scoff when she pulled away.

“God, yes-“

He muttered, his voice coming out as a hoarse whisper. He tilted his head to the side, his nose brushing against her jaw. He was practically clinging to her now, like she was an anchor, and he was a wrecked ship bobbing around in the open sea.

Juno wondered if he had ever been kissed like that, or even kissed at all. Remus was never one to brag like the other Marauders, like James and his plum coloured love bites or Lily’s sheepish grin.

She ceased her thinking, Remus’ proximity like white noise radiating through her body.

“I love you, too-“

She whispered, talking into his messy, mahogany hair, fingers fisting his charity shop sweater.

“Not like a friend-“

She added, for the mere purpose of clarification.

Remus’ hold on her tightened, his grip firm and secure. He was holding on with everything he had, as if he was scared she’d disappear if he loosened it. The feeling of her breath against his hair, the sound of her voice, the words that had escaped her lips in that quiet, soft tone. It was everything he had ever wanted to hear, and more.

He pressed a soft, lingering kiss to the skin of her neck, his eyes fluttering shut again as the words left his lips in a low whisper.

“I’m all yours."

Juno moaned, shamelessly.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time-“

She muttered, the cold air haunting the moistened skin of her throat from Remus’ kiss as she dipped her head to meet him once more.

He tasted like a firework, like cinnamon and coffee creamer.

The way her tongue slipped into his mouth would put a Slytherin to shame, her wet serpent scraping the inside of his cheek. Maybe it was too dirty, or filthy, the way she slipped her milky thighs on either side of Remus’ lap, resting against him completely as her ginger hair tickled his face. Let the gods strike her down if it was.

Remus groaned at the sound of her moan, low and guttural, desperate and needy. He wanted to fuck her right then and there, the sound alone sending a wave of burning desire through him. Her weight in his lap made it hard to think, to focus, all his senses screaming for her.

He gripped her thighs, holding her against him, his hands slipping under her skirt. His fingers dug into her soft skin, a possessive move that he knew he would have to apologize for later. But right now, all he could focus on was her, the feeling of her skin, the heat that was radiating from her body, the way her lips felt against his and her tongue in his mouth, hot and wet and messy.

If Juno’s arousal hadn’t peaked hours ago by simply looking at him, it damn sure had now. Her abdomen clenched, lust driven by pure infatuation. Raw emotion. She knew it from the way her pussy had slicked, moist and sensitive against her underwear and Remus’ tented groin.

She whined involuntarily, digits twitching against the hem of Remus’ sweater. She didn’t even recognise herself. It was like she was someone else, living her perfect reality from the outside.

“Bloody hell, Moons-“

She muttered, not giving a single damn about their surroundings.

Remus’ breathing was picking up in speed, his hands roaming over her skin, mapping it like charting the stars, committing the feeling of her to memory. No words left his lips, only ragged breaths and soft moans and a litany of sweet, sweet curses that fell like prayer from his lips.

“F-fuck, Juno-“

He growled, lips finding purchase against her neck. He knew they were outside, and that anyone could find them any second. The thought of getting caught like this, with her in his lap, on display for anyone to see, was only fueling his fire.

His hands gripped her harder, almost painfully tight, as he left a trail of dark, purple marks down her neck and collarbones, marking his territory like a wild animal would claim their mate.

Never in Juno’s entire existence did she believe love could feel this good. This rich. She felt like putty in his large hands, or the quill she had bought him for his birthday that lived between his fingers.

She shuddered, shoulders slumping as she returned the favour, reddened lips assaulting Remus’ throat, fingers tilting his jaw back to lick around his Adam’s apple.

“Tell me-“

She swallowed, slipping her hands up his sweater to rest upon the toned surface of his stomach.

“Tell me what you like-“

In other words, ‘I want to please you. Help me do that.’

Remus was losing himself, drowning in the sensations that came from her touch. His head fell back, baring his neck for her, the sound of her voice in his ear driving him near insane, like Azkaban was as close as the corner shop to his home back in Wales.

He couldn’t formulate words, not like this. And she hadn’t even really been doing anything yet, and still he was already drowning in her, like a man on the brink of death in the desert.

“I.. F-fuck, I like a lot of things-“

He said between breaths. His words cut off by a shaky moan, his eyes rolling back for a quick moment at the feeling of her hands against his stomach. It was too much, and yet not enough at all.

He gripped her hips, pulling her down against his lap, forcing her to press against the growing bulge in his trousers, his hips rolling up into hers in a desperate attempt to get friction. The action caused him to let out a low hiss, his head rolling back against the wall again.

Juno could make an endless list of all the things he liked, in a normal sense. Christmas shopping, French fancies, chocolate. Gods, anything sweet. Such a big fucking kid.

Her thoughts were struck by lightning as her arousal ground against Remus’, the contact shooting pleasure into her veins like a junkie. The moan she choked out was ragged, far from anything innocent.

“S-Shit, Remus-“

She stammered, suddenly a virgin all over again.

Remus couldn’t think straight. The thoughts in his mind had dissolved into a haze, overwhelmed by the ecstasy that her body was sending through him. She was going to be the death of him, he swore it.

The sound of her voice calling his name was enough to make his blood run hot, and he pulled her harder against him, grinding his hips up against hers again, the heat between them burning like a forest fire.

“F-fuck-“

He muttered, his teeth finding her shoulder again. He needed her. Now.

He didn’t know how much longer he could hold back, being with her like this. He was so desperate, like if he didn’t have all of her, he’d die. The wolf in him would starve.

“Tell me-“

His voice was low and raspy, filled with desire.

“Tell me I can have you-“

Remus’ words only served to completely ruin Juno’s favourite pair of underwear, turquoise and lacy. The fabric most certainly darkened and damp. He was ruining her, scarring her soul for eternity. Hells, all those shitty books were right-

She nodded almost violently, breathing harsh and unsteady.

“Have it a-all,”

She whined, wanton and parched, digits tugging at his sweater.

“Take it off-“

She whispered incoherently.

Remus’ pulled his sweater off in a quick, desperate motion, tossing it to the floor carelessly, his glasses getting lost in the battle, not even bothering to think about where they landed. They were for distance, anyways. Nothing distant about this. He just needed them off.

His hands were on her again immediately, tracing the skin of her back, finding the zipper of her skirt and pulling it down, before his hands moved to the buttons of her blouse. His fingers had no trouble working the buttons, and he all but tore the fabric off of her when they were all opened, his eyes going dark at the sight of her in just her bra and panties.

His hands traced the skin of her stomach, slowly moving up to her chest, finding the lace fabric of her bra and fumbling with it before managing to get it unclasped. He took a moment just to admire her, his gaze roaming over her body, taking her all in, every inch of her.

“You’re so beautiful. God, you’re so beautiful..”

He whispered, his eyes roaming up to her face, his hands tracing a path over her thighs.

Juno didn’t even care that she was almost naked, that Remus’ warm eyes baked her bare skin in what felt like sunlight beneath the stars. Not when her own eyes, dilated and blown, admired every single silver scar etched into his torso like traumatic artwork.

Her breathing slowed, the chill of the February air caressing her breasts. If she was beautiful, Remus was magnificent. Magic.

Goosebumps formed on her thighs underneath Remus’ large hands, as she finally uncorked her mouth.

“Have you ever done this before, Moons?-“

Remus swallowed, shaking his head slightly as his hands continued tracing her skin. She was so soft, so warm. And her eyes roamed over his body like he was something special, like she truly found him enchanting.

Her question made the heat he was feeling turn into a blush that spread from his neck to his face, his breathing coming out in shaky exhales. He tried to speak, but all that left his lips was a shaky, low,

“No.”

He’d been with girls before. A few snogs here and there, and one or two of them had come close to going further, hand in the trousers, but it hadn’t happened. It had never gone that far.

“I’ve never…”

He started, his voice rough, almost hoarse.

“I’ve never done this before..”

He finally managed to get the words out, the confession leaving his lips in a shaky breath.

Gods above, if they even existed-

Juno had to refrain from smiling, padlocking the corners of her lips and maintaining the look of awe that she currently possessed.

Of course he hadn’t. He’s too good. Such a god damn gentlemen, was she even worthy of it?

“You’re killing me-“

She whispered, shaking her head all the while. It was an unconscious action, the way her hand lightly grasped his own and placed it around her right breast.

Remus’ breath hitched again as he felt the weight of her breast in his palm, his thumb starting to move slowly on its own, running over her breast, against her rose bud nipple, before repeating the movement.

“You’re perfect.”

He muttered, his voice almost cracking at the sound. No words could describe how she made him feel, how her very existence left him speechless. His other hand moved to caress her other breast, gently squeezing them in his palms. He was trying to keep himself from going wild, from letting the last bit of self control he had left drop completely, all while trying to not act as inexperienced as he truly was.

He had to stop talking to her like she had been the first to put petals on flowers, like he was threatening to inflate her ego that had been smooshed into the dirt for so long.

Juno’s mind silenced, distracting herself with the gentle moans that tumbled past her open mouth, before muffling the sound against Remus’ throat, tasting his salty skin.

“I’ve had d-dreams about this-“

She whispered, cursing herself for her futile words. This wasn’t the time for talking, but his voice was her favourite song. She wanted him to keep fucking singing-

Remus had to hold back an outright moan at her words, her confession, the thought that she had been thinking about him like this making his hard cock twitch in his pants. He let his hand move once more, down her stomach, finding the lace of her turquoise panties and gently pushing down on them, a silent question.

“You have?”

He asked, trying to push the words out through the haze that was making him dizzy. His hand went to the waistband of her panties, his fingers slipping under the lace, playing with the hem, his whole body screaming at him to just take them off and be done with it, yet he waited, holding himself back from doing it until he was absolutely sure she wanted it to.

His other hand went up to her hair, tangling his fingers in her ginger locks, gently gripping them in frustration, trying to keep his desires at bay.

“Show me. Show me how you dreamed about me.”

He muttered, his voice low and hoarse.

The sound that left Juno’s throat was more than unholy, it was down right sinful. She felt his fingers tickling her pubic bone, mere inches away from her blazing, throbbing flesh. She wanted him to notice the mess she had made of herself, the mess that he had made of her.

She swallowed, inhaling sharply through her nose, allowing her fingers to explore the wilderness of Remus’ tense stomach, kissing his scars with her fingertips until her nails clinked against the metal buckle of his belt.

“C-Could never say no to you-“

Juno whimpered, unsure if she had ever felt this desperate for anything.

Remus bit down on her shoulder to keep himself from letting out a moan. His hips bucked at the sound of her voice as she spoke, a shaky breath leaving his mouth. He felt like he was losing his mind, like the last bit of self control he had left was about to disappear completely.

“Take it, take it off-”

He muttered between breaths. He couldn’t wait any longer. The sight of her sitting in his lap, half naked, the sound of her voice saying his name, it was too much.

He fumbled with the buckle of his belt impatiently, struggling to unclasp it as his hands shook, before finally managing to get the damn thing open and pushing his trousers down his legs, lifting his hips. The feeling of his own clothes against his leaking cock was unbearable, only making his desperation grow even more.

He let out a low hiss at the feeling of his aching hardness against the heat of her, his head immediately falling back to rest against the wall again, his eyes closing for a brief moment to try and regain some control.

Tell another joke.

Nothing could have prepared Juno for the sight, throbbing and raw and red-

Huge. Like a fucking candy apple.

Her breath hitched in her throat, seeing him like this. She could only imagine the look on her face, unfiltered and genuine.

“Bloody h-hell Remus-“

She spoke as her voice cracked, digits slipping into the soaked material of her underwear as she manoeuvred her thighs accordingly to slip out of them, the fabric stinging against her sensitive flesh.

Remus was already gone. She was all he could think about, all he could feel. He felt her body move against him, and he opened his eyes again to look at her, watching her as her slender fingers moved against her skin, tossing her panties to the side like they were the only thing in the world that was keeping her from him.

“God, Juno…”

He mumbled, his voice almost shaking as he looked at her, his hands gripping her hips tightly as his blown pupils zeroed in on her slick flesh. Fucking delicious.

His eyes were roaming over her body as she sat there in his lap, her bare skin against his, and he once more felt like cursing God for making her the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“You’re so goddamn beautiful. You have no idea how good you look right now.”

He muttered, not even caring about the words coming out of his mouth.

To be the light in Remus’ eyes was more than a pleasure in itself, dopamine flooding her belly and swishing around for the fun of it. Like a high, a better high than any sort of spliff. There they were, as bare as the day they were born, just like nature had intended.

“I-“

Juno stuttered, enveloping her fingers into Remus’ messy brown hair, watching the way his throat bobbed.

“I think I’ll die if you don’t touch me-“

She confessed, dangerous and needy.

“I got you, I got you-“

He mumbled, repeating the words as he reached down between them, wrapping his fingers around his own veiny length as he tried to steady himself enough to guide himself to her.

“I’m gonna touch you, don’t you worry-”

Juno wasn’t fucking worried.

The words were barely out of his mouth before his hands were on her again, caressing her thighs, holding her in place as he pushed his hips up a bit, trying to find the right angle.

“Please, please-“

He was shaking, so damn nervous and yet desperate for her, needing her so badly he was about to lose his mind completely. He tried to steady his breathing, his words shaking a bit as he spoke.

“Just- just tell me you’re ready.”

Juno couldn’t let him go on like this any longer, second guessing and pushing away his own needs like he did every single second of his life. Everyday, giving up his seat and letting his coffee go cold for someone else.

She just wanted him to look after himself. To value himself. God, they were fucking perfect for each other in that way.

Words were futile, Juno had decided, as she let herself sink down slowly onto him, stretching herself out for him until she had made it halfway.

Foreplay was overrated.

“F-Fuck!-“

She cursed, fingernails painting Remus’ broad shoulders with crescent moons.

He was not prepared, at all. His eyes slammed shut as soon as he felt her around him, sinking on him so damn slowly, the feeling as she wrapped around him like a vice driving him mad in the most wonderful way. A moan escaped his lips, low and shaky as her nails scratched across his skin.

He couldn’t keep his hips still, a curse leaving his lips as he tried and failed to just stay motionless. As if by magic, it felt like her body was made for him, molded just to fit him, and him alone.

He opened his eyes after a few seconds, forcing himself to just look at her, to see her, the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. Her head was thrown back, eyes shut, pink in the cheeks and a string of curses leaving her lips as she adjusted to the feeling of him inside her. The sight almost made him cum on the spot, a ragged breath leaving his mouth.

“Look at me, look at me-”

He mumbled, trying to bring back his voice long enough to speak. His hand came up again, grabbing her chin and pulling her face back down so their eyes could lock back together.

Soulmates are a bunch of hogwash, right? Just something people believe in to feel better, more at peace when they’ve felt empty for too long. Juno was being converted at the speed of light.

Her eyes met his, with a depth she wouldn’t have dared to swim to before. And by the gods, was he the most magical thing she had ever seen.

“W-Whatever you want-“

She choked out, accent muted in the bliss as the scent of their combined arousals filled her senses.

“Just say it, Moons-“

Her hips jerked, untethered to the bounds of anxiety and fear, as she slowly started riding him. Slick. Soaked.

Remus’ eyes darkened as he looked at her, watching her ride him in desperate, shaky movements. He was trying hard to keep his composure, to hold back and not lose control of himself completely, but goddamn it was hard, when all he wanted to do was give her everything he had to give.

“God, I need-“

He tried to say, but the rest slipped right out of his head as he felt her walls clenching around him, his head once more falling back against the wall with a thunk.

Words weren’t coming anymore, or at least ones that made sense, so instead Remus wrapped an arm around her, grabbing her hips and keeping her in place, holding her firmly in his lap, her body flush his chest. He couldn’t look away from her as he planted his feet flat onto the concrete floor, finding the leverage he needed to begin meeting her movements with his own, his hips thrusting up into her as he moved.

He was falling apart, losing control, the only thing he could think about being how good she felt around him, how tight she was. Every sound coming out of her mouth making him push himself to give her even more, to drive even deeper, to just try and give her everything he could, anything she wanted.

“You like that, sweetheart?”

He managed to ask, his voice sounding absolutely wrecked, almost not even recognising himself.

The pang of ecstasy and pleasure almost pierced Juno’s guts at the sound of him, the innocence of his words, groundbreaking and oh so Remus.

She cried out, choking into Remus’ cheekbone.

“Love it-“

She whined, not a care in the world at this point as the sound of skin meeting skin was her new favourite tempo. She could feel the sting of her kneecaps scraping against the harsh flooring, her juices sticking to her reddened skin.

“Don’t stop- please don’t stop-“

She sounded like she was about to burst into tears at the weight of it.

Remus didn’t think he could stop if he wanted to. Her words were driving him completely insane, the sound of her voice filling his ears, the need to hear more, to hear her fall apart just for him.

“God, don’t cry, please, I got you-”

He muttered, holding her even tighter, one of his hands coming up to cup her face, his thumb gently wiping away the tears running down her cheeks.

“I’m not gonna stop, I promise, I’m not gonna stop-”

Juno was so blissed out she didn’t even realise the tears had fell until Remus wiped them away, smudging her makeup like he always did. Even now. She didn’t even have time to feel pathetic, as every stuttered thrust from him hit that gooey spot inside of her, causing her stomach to clench and her thighs to tremble.

“Y-You’re making me cum-“

She spoke the words urgently, like she couldn’t get there quickly enough.

“Remus!-“

She cried out, strained and broken as she fell apart in his lap, in his large hands. Her safe place, clinging to him like a childhood teddy bear.

He could feel her clenching around him tightly, her body shaking and trembling, trying to keep itself together, and he had to bite back a cry of his own, feeling her fall apart in his arms, around his length, driving him to the very edge.

“F-Fuck yes-“

He choked out, his hold tightening as he tried to hold back, his hips still working, driving into her.

“God, yes-“

He breathed out, struggling to form the words.

“So- so beautiful-”

He could feel her body trembling against his own, the way her walls clenched around him, bringing him ever closer. His breathing was getting faster, more intense, and he knew that he couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Gods, I’m gonna-”

He gritted out the words, his hands gripping her hips so hard they would probably leave imprints of his thumb prints. He couldn’t stop moving, his body moving on autopilot, chasing his release.

“Do it-“

Juno begged, point blank and purposeful. Careful wasn’t in her deck of cards tonight, she could think about that later.

She rode out the aftershocks, chest catching with labouring breaths as she grasped Remus’ by the jaw, anchoring him to look at her like she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Look at me and finish, Moons-“

Juno whispered, whining at the overstimulation of her fluttering flesh.

Remus’ entire body felt tense, like a string being pulled taunt, pulled to the breaking point but not yet snapping. The sight of her face, still flush from her release, her voice pleading, and the words that left her mouth sent him over the edge, his hips stuttering one final time as he buried himself as deep inside her as he could, coming apart and shooting ropes with a shaking moan that bordered on a soft cry.

His body immediately went slack afterward, the strength leaving his body completely as he leaned back against the wall, taking her with him. He slowly let go of her hips, not sure if his hands could be trusted not to hurt her, bringing them up to run through her hair instead as he tried and failed to slow his racing heart.

What was there to say? What was there to say when Juno could feel his release trickling out of her like a leaking tap, hot and wet against her reddened inner thighs? Juno didn’t know.

She slumped against him, freckled cheek indenting into Remus’ shoulder like it had many times before. His fingers in her hair, enough to remind her that he was still him, and nothing had changed.

“Hey, Moony.”

She whispered, amber eyes shut.

He hummed softly in response to her call, letting his hands run gently over her back, tracing the bumps of her spine and the shape of her shoulders as he focused on her.

“Hi, Juno.”

He mumbled into her hair, tilting his head slightly to bury his nose into the locks, inhaling her scent and letting it fill his head, like a drug that didn’t wear off, like a sweet fix that he didn’t want to let go of.

‘Thanks for waking me, in the library.’

[rustfoxes]

Disjointed DAtVG feelings/opinions

I've played the game for a bit, I'm not too far in yet, and honestly? I hope it gets better. Spoilers & venting below as you might guess.

Everything seems to be tell, don't show. There's very, VERY little trust in the player. Characters happen upon a ruined village? "The village is ruined! There's no one here!" Yes, we can see that. Character looks upset? Text pops up on screen to tell you that IN FACT!! Character is upset. Couldn't have guessed.

Everything is explained out loud immediately, except the arguably actually important things. If I remember correctly, there's no mention of the 10 year (?) timeskip from DAI, everyone just now knows everything about elven magic and the Fade and the Veil EXCEPT FOR THE PLAYER. None of that is explained! New players are expected to just know, which in some games works, but when you throw characters into a magical forest and say it's Arlathan forest, how tf are they supposed to know what Arlathan is.

Why is Varric a brunette all of a sudden

Characterisation of returning characters is fucking wild. Fun, jokey Harding? Massive chip on her shoulder and real aggressive for some reason. Soft-spoken and measured Solas? Yelling, again, for some damn reason. Where is his iambic pentameter? And he hates blood magic all of a sudden?? Did the writers play the earlier games at all? Solas SPECIFICALLY says in DAI that blood magic has no morality to it and is merely a tool.

The game is linear to the extent that I cannot for the life of me see the point of the game asking you to wrap up unfinished business before moving forward. What unfinished business? You've locked us into a small room with 0 exits and 1 chest. There is no business.

So far there's been zero time for any of the story to breathe. There are no story beats, because the drum machine that is the pacing just keeps hammering on. The gravity of the situation has no time to set in for anyone. THE ACTUAL GODS OF MYTH HAVE BEEN BUST OUT OF GOD-JAIL. THIS IS A HUGE FUCKING PROBLEM. "Yeah, well, people would've died if Solas hadn't been stopped from tearing down the Veil." And this is preferable???? What the actual fuck. DAI Solas wanted to rebuild and to safe-guard his people. TWO of the people he wanted to PROTECT EVERYONE FROM are now out. But oh man, that Solas, he would've hurt folks. You think the wondertwins won't? Jesus fucking Christ.

The gameplay more or less just completely scraps character classes. Playing a mage rn and for some damn reason she has separate ranged attacks. What the actual fuck. What is the point of making people choose a class if a damn mage has to stand next to enemies to attack?

So far doesn't feel like an RPG at all. Starts in media res which is fine, but your character is already established as a cool hero and an important figure. Why? Why weren't we along for that ride?

Character movement is janky af, DAI was much smoother 10 damn years ago. Hopefully they'll somehow manage to fix it.

Either they needed better actors or a much better voice director, because holy shit is the dialogue awkward and halting and just... no.

Writers have clearly had shoes far too large to fill. Dialogue wants to be funny and witty and clever. It is not. Specially not with the phoned in voice acting.

Where have my Welsh/Irish elves gone? Wtf happened there? Also why wasn't there anyone around to tell the actors how to pronounce the elvhen words??

Why the fuck is the rogue our healer.

All quests so far have been walking from A to B, collecting some coins along the path, and then fighting 5 or 10 enemies. No variation at all.

Idk man, I really hope the game will find its legs as it goes on, but so far? Massively underwhelming and honestly quite disappointing. Absolutely does not feel like DA. People critisised DA2 for being rushed and DAI for a whole host of shit, but at least I felt like I was playing a Dragon Age game.

[imfinereallyy]

The Long Con

I saw this tik tok edit of Rachel McAdams in the movie Hot Chick where she gets a milkshake on house (and she's just totally playing the guy) and for some odd reason this spiraled me into thinking about Conman!Steve and Mob Boss!Eddie. So here is my brainrot I guess. Maybe I'll do more parts or make something longer on ao3 if people like it.

Steve wasn't one to not think things through. Yes, he was aware that it was a double negative. He played up the dumb part quite often, but Steve wasn't actually stupid. So it was all part of the game, really.

Steve loved the game. The rush, the push, and the pull of tricking someone, getting them for all their worth. Steve loved the game because it was fun. Steve loved the game because he got to use horrible people for his very lavish lifestyle. There was nothing like living rich by feeding off the rich. Well, he was trying to do that, at least. See, Steve, although good at what he did, he burned through money faster than you could say savings. It wasn't his fault, really. He used to be better at keeping track. Always made sure to have enough, just in case. Hadn't needed to worry about anyone but himself. Because the only thing Steve truly loved for a long time was the game itself.

But then he met people along the way, misfits and criminals like himself that he couldn't help spoiling. The only person who seemed to catch his problem was Robin, but even she couldn't resist a new hard drive for her computer. It's how she made her own money, after all.

Despite his problem with spoiling everyone, Steve always thought things through. He followed the rules of the game without rules and continued to fill his pockets, scamming the deserving and cruel. But sometimes, sometimes for Steve... his abilities and bad habits sometimes, well, overlapped. Sometimes, Steve could have been better at choosing the right people to care about. He was getting better at it, he swears. He let go of the wrong ones a long, long time ago.

But sometimes they came back begging.

Tommy had been someone from his life before. Before being on his own, back when purple and blue were his father's favorite colors to paint him with. It was a time before the game, a time that, although he tries to forget, had a grip on him.

So when Tommy called, seeking forgiveness, seeking help, Steve caved quickly. He would always be that same little boy, looking for love from a past that wasn't there. Tommy wasn't his parents, sure, but it was as close as he would get.

So, yes, steve normally thought things through, but there was the rare occasion, there was the exception to the rule, where Steve majorly fucked up.

He was in Boston when it happened. Even though years ago, Steve swears he would never be going back. He's in a small diner two blocks away from main street. And he had just finished getting Tommy's money back. Steve always celebrated with one of three things: drinks, sex, or milkshakes.

And Steve wanted out of Boston as fast as possible, so he went for his quickest and sometimes tastiest tradition.

"How much do I owe you?" Steve smiled innocently at the waiter, giving his best babygirl face.

The waiter bit his lips as he tried not to stare at Steve's mouth, "It's okay, it's on the house."

Steve licked part of his free milkshake off his finger, "Really?" Steve's voice was an octave higher just for the waiter. He could tell he was someone who had a preference for men, and most likely had a problem with letting go of his masculinity. So Steve knew the more feminine, the better. Steve couldn't help the sly grin that stretched across his face when the waiter got flustered. He was an attention whore; sue him.

His waiter—huh, Andy, according to his name tag—looked like he was about to say something when a throat cleared behind him.

"Andy, doll, you might be wanting to get back to the kitchen for a minute." A deep voice said behind Andy. It sent chills down Steve's spine. The Boston accent with a slight tilt of Irish was enough to captivate him. Andy moved faster than the speed of light at the command.

When Andy disappeared, with his tail between his legs no less, the most beautiful man Steve's ever seen revealed himself. A tall, pale, curly brunette stood before him in a suit with a ripped-up band tee underneath. It shouldn't look good, and it shouldn't look professional, but it did. Steve saw tattoos peeking out from exposed skin, piercings all over his ears, and enough jewelry to start a store. Steve was bewitched.

The mystery man smiled, hands in his pockets, and leaned down slightly into Steve's space. "Oh, sweetheart, I have been looking for you everywhere."

Steve stayed silent, drinking him in; he smelt of mint, smoke, and morning rain.

The man slid into the booth, put his arms on the table, and made a little beat with his knuckles on the plastic. Then, Steve noticed the words "Hell Fire" across his knuckles. Steve's heart sunk to his stomach. He had heard of those hands before. Those hands were famous.

The man leaned his face against his right fist. "Hell" pushed into his cheekbone. "The name is Eddie Munson, love." Eddie looked Steve up and down. "But I think you've already figured that out by now, haven't ya?"

Steve steeled himself. He should be okay. He hadn't wronged this man before, but something, something was telling Steve that he most definitely had. The look in his sweet abyss of eyes told him as much.

A smirk stretched across Eddie's face, and suddenly he kicked the leather bag next to Steve's feet under the table. Steve's cheek twitched slightly for a millisecond, but it was enough to give him away. "It seems here... like you and Hagan have stolen quite a bit of money from me." Eddie tsk-tsked while Steve's heart dropped from his stomach to his feet. Tommy screwed him.

"And that love, well, that just won't do."Steve had never seen such a sweet smile feel so deadly. "So, Sunshine, I am going to make you a deal, and you would be smart to take it."

Steve wasn't actually dumb, but yes, he most definitely did not think this through.

________

Sooo thoughts? I was going to write more but if this was a flop, I didn't want to put my heart in soul into it. But I did spiral a bit with it. Whoops!

edit: I made some grammatical changes but that's it. I realized I kept switching tense changes when I was writing in present, so I changed it to past. I'm much more comfortable with it. Let me know if there are any more errors.

part 2: here

[mercurygray]

Blind Dates Fest 2024 - Freda Torvaldsen, ARCS

A few days ago I asked for MOTA prompts, and @junojelli delivered:

A MOTA scene prompt for you: a new arrival is amongst the clubmobile ladies at the local pub one evening. Of course, it would only be right that they give her the lowdown on the men they can see in the bar, and the recent gossip on possible nocturnal escapades of course 😏

So! An extra Blind Date! You can learn more about @blind-dates-fest at their blog.

Fandom: Masters of the Air

It was only a matter of time before the subject came up.

“Can’t say I’ve ever met a Freda before.”

It was always like this, her first day in a new assignment, where you been, where you from, what do you do. And then inevitably someone would work around to the obvious. So... what’s a name like Torvaldsen doing with a name like Freda?

“And neither had my mother,” Freda said with a resigned smile, sitting down heavily and nodding thankfully to one of the other girls for the beer. “After my father and brother were both Peters I think she just wanted something interesting.” She shrugged. “She told me once she found the name in a short story in a woman’s magazine. Never got confused with another girl in class, though! Fred’s just fine, for every day use. It’ll get tossed in eventually, so we may as well start there.”

Fred was easy - approachable, even. A good way to start a conversation, a quick, easy joke to set everyone on the same level. Who’s on shift today, girls? Rose, Laura, and Fred. Wait, Fred? And she’d stick her head out from wherever she was hiding, and the boys would all have a laugh that Fred was really a twenty-six year old blonde from Madison, Wisconsin with a big smile, and not the paunchy driver from Brooklyn they all pictured when they heard the name. She didn’t mind the jokes, really - it made the whole job easier. So what’s your name, solider? You have a nickname, too? Where you from? The whole reason she was there, in three questions or less - to make the average G.I. feel at home, seen, valued and wanted.

“Where’d you say you were, before this?” Helen asked. At least, she thought it was Helen - or was it Ellen? Honestly, Tatty had run through the team of three pretty quickly this morning and she might have misheard. Tatty, of course, was easy to remember - Katherine Spaatz, with a last name the papers wouldn’t soon forget and a face that liked being photographed. Mary Boyle was the other, a sparkling-eyed Irish girl from Des Moines who looked like just the kind the fellows all liked to spin around a dance more than once. She couldn’t remember the name of the girl she was replacing, either - not that that mattered much. She was going home with the one non-communicable disease the Red Cross didn’t want to deal with - pregnant, Mary had mouthed across the table when they’d first met this morning, her fresh off the bus from London and Tatty skating artfully around the subject.

“Did a spell at the canteen in Washington, another couple months in London in a few different spots,” Freda offered. “I guess I’m a professional replacement at this point - which is either a compliment or a curse. You’ll have to tell me which.”

“Well, we’re happy to have you, for as long as we’ve got,” Tatty said with a nod. “Did they tell you what the work would be like? Working a base is different than canteen service.”

“The hours, for a start,” Mary said, rolling her eyes.

“If they’re running a mission, they’re up and at ‘em at 4:30 for a 5 am briefing, which means -”

“Service ready for 4:45,” Freda filled in, nodding along. “Means we’ll be starting about...three thirty, maybe, to have everything hot and ready?”

“Will that be a problem?” Tatty asked, her eyes dark and decisive across the table.

Freda shook her head. “Always was more of a morning person. How long are they usually out for?”

“Longer runs...six, seven, eight hours at a time? Tower will give us a ring when they’re expected back in, and then we rack up donuts and coffee in the interrogation hut. You’ll need to be sharp on that shift,” Tatty warned. “They don’t always come back looking pretty.”

“Doctor’s usually on hand to evaluate anyone who can walk. If they’re still standing he’ll turn ‘em loose on the interrogation team,” Mary explained. “Captain Brennan and her girls run that room - she’s nice, you’ll like her.”

“You’re not there to make small talk for that one - pass out coffee and get ‘em to their table as quick as you can. Each crew runs through the whole mission - what they saw, who they shot at, bombs dropped. The after-action report. Once they’re done, they’re free to leave, and so are we. We’ll do dishes and clean-up, and then get the coffee urns ready to drive ‘round to the crews. Can you drive?”

“Well enough for Wisconsin,” Freda offered with a shrug. “We had a Ford I could grind through.” She didn’t say anything about the last time someone had asked her if she knew how to drive, and how she’d nearly run over the campus mascot trying to muscle a Clubmobile into a turn.

“Sounds like you’ll be driving our Jeep, then. We’ve got one assigned to us.”

Freda nodded, trying to maintain serenity. Well, that’s all right. A Jeep’s not a remodeled London bus, and it sure as hell doesn’t drive like one.

“The planes are parked out on hardstands and the crew basically live out there while they’re working,” Tatty went on, “So we take coffee and sandwiches around once the planes come back in. They’re good guys out there - better than the flyboys, sometimes.”

“Now, Tatty, don’t go turning her head the wrong way,” Mary interjected, before Freda could ask what a hardstand was. “They’re all nice. Just take some getting used to.”

“Anyone I’ll need to watch out for?” Freda asked, glancing around the club, which was gradually beginning to fill for the evening - officers in their Class As, the gilt on their wings like sunshine, laughter like a river. The knucklehead who knocked up your friend, for instance?

Tatty made a gesture across the room towards the biggest group. “The tall one horsing around with the dartboard is John Egan - Major Egan, rather. Or Bucky, if you want nicknames. He’s mostly harmless, but he’ll flirt with anything. Just give as good as you get and you’ll be fine. Man next to him is Major Gale Cleven - also Buck - who you’ll wish was single and isn’t.”

“He’s got a girl back home in Wyoming,” Helen (Ellen?) put in, her smile a little wistful. “Ask him about her sometime.”

“Man with the permanent frown is Major William Veal - Bill, sometimes. He’s all business, you’ll never see him dance, so don’t ask. Tall fellow next to him with the lighter curly hair is Major Jack Kidd, also mostly business.”

Freda’s eyebrows went up. “Mostly?” Now there’s a word with a story.

It was Tatty’s turn to smile. “We think he might be sweet on Mary, when he lets himself.”

Mary rolled her eyes. “Only because the rest of you gang up on him!”

“Those are the squadron commanders, anyway - the other pilots and navigators and crews report to them. It’s a lot of names,” Tatty said, almost dismissive.

Notice how she didn’t say I’d learn them, Freda thought to herself. They’d told her that much in London, when she’d gotten her assignment. Don’t get too attached to your post, or the soldiers there. They can change or leave at any time. It’s a war, not a weekend.

“Ladies! And how are we all on this fine evening, eh?” Here it was - faces up. Freda found her smile and turned to see who it was - a young man with black hair and blue eyes and a smile just this side of mischievous. And this one is named Trouble, I’ll bet. First lieutenant with flying wings - a pilot. “You all over here plottin’ somethin’ we fellas need to be made aware of?”

“Just introducing the new girl around, Curt.” Tatty gestured to Freda, on the other side of the table, who raised a hand and nodded hello.

Trouble (Curt?) smiled a little wider, his hand on Tatty’s shoulder, leaning closer over the table. “Oh, the new girl, eh? And does the new girl have a name?

“New girl answers to Fred,” Freda said with a patient smile, trying not to smile too hard at the patently obvious big-city, big-spender feeling rolling off of the lieutenant in waves. New Yorkers. You could run them off a press like that. It was funny, sometimes, how much they tried not to be types - but she’d known far too many men like him. That was the trouble with canteen service - you saw so many they all started to look the same. “And she’s not looking for another drink, before the lieutenant starts asking.”

“Tough customer!” He laughed at that. “Curtis Biddick, at your service, Fred. Now, if any one of these jokers starts anything or gets fresh, you come find me, alright?” He pointed, for emphasis, and she took note of the knuckles of his hand, the shortness of his nails. “Gotta take care of our girls, you know, since you’re always taking care of us.”

“I’ll certainly keep it in mind, Lieutenant.”

Biddick waved the rank away like it was a fly he were swatting. “Now, none of this lieutenant crap, Fred. My friends call me Curt.” He fixed his eye on her and she smiled, and nodded - heard and acknowledged. Confident they had an understanding, he clapped Tatty’s shoulder again and stood up. “Tatty. Mary. Helen. Fred. Yous all have a good night, now.”

“Well, there you are, Fred. If Biddick likes you you’re set. He was serious about finding him, too - he’s the company boxing champion.”

“Of course he is,” Freda said with a smile, finally able to place where she’d seen hands like that before. And a total sweetheart underneath all of it, if I read him right.

And a soldier, something in her head reminded her. That’s the trouble with working a base - they won’t just be here for a night. You’ll have learn their names, and their girlfriends, see them day in and day out - until one day you don’t.

She took a deep breath and a sip of her beer, still glancing around the room, at the laughing men at the dartboard, the craps game, the piano, everyone alive and free and full of life. Maybe it had been a bad idea to start with names.

---

Eagle-eyed readers will notice that I have name-dropped several new characters in here; one of them, Marion, is my other Blind Date this year. You'll meet her on Saturday!

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1120 - Initial Thoughts

And we're here again

Back from Break and Ready for a Robot Rumble The transmission continues and the Gorosei are converging, but the crew are still looking for a a way out

Let's see what we have going for us this time

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Relase

Yamato's problem with the kids is swiftly resolved with Denjiro's appearance, now the Daimyo of Kibi

Oda's notes mentions Rayquaza which is my favourite legendary Pokémon so I gotta shout that out

And with the title being 'Atlas' I think we know what's gonna happen

26 years ago in Punk Hazard, Clover comes to visit Vegapunk to help him research the Void Century

You can see a head at the top of the giant fence, which I would assume is one of the Numbers, the one in the Bruce Lee suit back in Wano I'd guess

Also Vegapunk's artificial dragon is diddy sized

Since he works for the Government, Vegapunk of course says no, wondering why Clover keeps getting released

Of course he's the smartest man in the world, so he quickly surmises that Clover is likely attempted bait for his associates

He insists that the past should be left behind, but Clover has personal reasons for investigating it

He knew someone who was a D. his older brother!

Claíomh D. Clover, surprised but should've expected an Irish name from him, Claíomh or Claidheamh means 'Sword' btw

His unnamed brother was killed in front of him for being a D, he lied and told the killer it was just a friend

'How am I meant to accept a world where you can die for having the wrong name?' - tragic given that he died uttering a name

Taken aback, Vegapunk tells Clover to leave, forgetting what he heard and telling his old friend to stay safe

'The voices of the past call out to you' - again with the heavy hitters Clover

Insisting that he will uncover history to the point he will be unable to be ignored, we flash forward to the Ohara Incident, where he uncovered history to the point where he was unable to be ignored

Fuck you and your bowl cut Caesar, revelling in the fact that Ohara got nuked

And excuse you that ain't some brat that is Nico Robin my (at that point in time, future) wife

We see another internal thought from Vegapunk while at Ohara, sad that Clover and the scholars chose death, hoping that someone would continue where they left off

And back to the present, Vegapunk's transmission echoes Clover's words about the voices of the past, but also that History is written by the Victors

Zeff cameo, also Tequila Wolf shown again - Oda keeps having it show up what is the secret?

Also my wife Nico Robin, still listening while having to handle her past trauma as Vegapunk notes how history is erased or rewritten, but still lives on in the survivors and the oppressed

Zoro and Jinbe didn't latch onto the ship as planned, because Lilith is objecting the plan to leave now

She has done all the math and the wind direction, calculating that any change of direction caused by V. Nusjuro can be fatal since it'll change the landing position

But up comes Atlas, and she smacks the shit out of Lilith

The crew is naturally confused, but Lilith is KO'd and something switched off in her head

'I'll leave her in your hands, take off! I'll make sure you make it in One Piece' - ...is, is that a roll credits moment?

The KOing of Lilith was tactical though, since she switched off her connection to the main hub - causing York to believe Lilith is dead

V. Nusjuro makes a charge as the Straw Hats ready their Coup de Burst, but is met by a charging Atlas

V. Nusjuro cleanly takes the arm of the Vegapunk of Violence, but she doesn't need that arm to do what needs to be done, as she pulls the Gorosei away for the Sunny to fly off

Back down below the Navy have to take in the fact that it's a full blown Kaiju movie going on right now

Luffy, Sanji, Franky and the Giants have the classic One Piece 'boys love robots' moment

Emeth speaks to Joy Boy, glad to meet them again

Luffy though, confused, doesn't know that he's being addressed

Even centuries old giants are able to do the 'oy' backhand gag

Noting that the Gorosei are Joy Boy's enemies, Emeth resolves that they are their enemy, and they are glad to fight for Joy Boy again

Ju Peter and Warcury are still very willing to put down Emeth, and end Vegapunk's transmission

But Luffy and the Giants are making their leave, as Brogy asks if Emeth's a friend

Luffy notes that it said it was protecting 'some guy called Joy Boy'

But here's the interesting part, the Giants didn't hear a voice: that was the Voice of All Things, perhaps even a voice of the past huh?

Still a kid, Bluegrass attempts to refocus the Navy back on the longboat

Vegapunk's closing words mention that people should have the right to learn from the past, from all perspectives

Ju Peter preps a big human teeth chomp, but Emeth is readying an attack

Sanji and Franky await the beam or a rocket punch, but instead they get a fizzle

Blue balled, Emeth gets its arm bitten off, the 900 years have done a number on the weapons it had

Saturn meanwhile comes charging, leaping off Ju Peter to land on the longboat

His main focus seems to be Kuma and Bonney, but Sanji spots the Sunny taking flight from up above

The trajectory seems good but the distance is still short

and not far behind V. Nusjuro cuts through Atlas, mocking her attempt at a grand sacrifice

but Atlas' expression turns soft, and with a smile she notes she's simply lending a hand

And from her death, the explosion propels the Sunny towards the sea

Usopp and Chopper doing right by thanking Atlas, as York revels in being the 'Last Vegapunk' - only to be corrected by V. Nusjuro

Emeth realises that it has rusted for too long, but there was a time Joy Boy spoke of, and they wonder if they can 'use it' for this moment

During all this, Vegapunk notes how Roger and his crew must know the full story, that they must've heard it from the 'purest source possible', and that it may end up determining how things transpire in the future

Prisoners cover the final panel

Oh shit he did say it, the government did try to keep it under wraps: Gol D. Roger

Well it looks like it's curtains for Emeth. We pour one out for Atlas, the first Vegapunk Luffy met, who was nothing but welcoming to him, who fought even when outmatched against Lucci, and sacrificed themselves to help the Straw Hats, just as Edison did.

Last chapter many were suggesting Bonney4Nakama, but I wonder if this chapter does anything for Lilith4Nakama. She was a bit argumentative, but it is still a hell of a feather in the cap to have a Vegapunk on your team, even if it is Grand Fleet. Plus she is the most pirate of the Punks, looting ships for resources and funding, and as the 'evil' one the WG would spin the story so she can't persuade the world about what truly happened.

This chapter had some good stuff when it came to the importance of history, it could've been very easy for Ohara to have been forgotten to the story, but Oda maintains it as a centerpiece of history, the destruction of Ohara literally triggered so many other smaller events that have snowballed and come to bite the Gorosei. Emeth speaking using the Voice of All Things is interesting too, because Zunesha did that as well, the Sea Kings did that too, did Joy Boy unite all races under this voice perhaps? And what is it really?

Questions upon questions, but now that Luffy has heard the name Joy Boy I wonder if he will at one point try to inquire into it, Robin has been quietly soaking up this knowledge, it is a lot to take in but it also feels like she will have more things she can reveal to the crew from it.

The Sunny makes it to sea though, Saturn seems to be the last obstacle (Egghead has been pretty cyclic; Lilith and Atlas were the first met Vegapunks but were also the last allied Vegapunks, Saturn was the first Gorosei obstacle and now he's the last), who does it fall to in order to stop him? Sanji is due a moment that's not undercut by failure, but it can also fall to Kuma to push away the first true obstacle and mastermind behind every tragedy in his life one last time, his powers are designed to push things away.

There seems a tiny bit left of Vegapunk's transmission and I'm still waiting on why it needed a video feed, but it would bode to finish on a strong closing argument.

[matchahater]

It’s ten-thirty, and night’s settled heavy as sin over the city, stripping the streets of all the right kinds of foot traffic. Duke’s alone on the sidewalk. He’s walking fast but not too fast, earbuds in with no music playing, hands solidly in pockets. He should be heading home from class and prepping for an early shift. Instead, he’s looking for trouble.

Tonight’s trouble is a particular guy Duke’s had his eye on for days. He’s a dealer, a guy in his thirties who dresses like he’s sixteen and sells to his “peers.” Three kids overdosed on his shit last month, and Duke caught him bragging about it online. He hadn’t been hard to find: Tommy Donovan, white, thirty-two, five foot ten, lives with his ex-wife in the Financial District. Mostly, he’s been selling to rich kids over in that area. But tonight, according to his Snapchat story, he’s seeking out a new audience in the Narrows. In Duke’s neighborhood.

Bruce had explicitly told him to avoid it. Maybe it just hadn’t sounded worth it, to him. Duke doesn’t make a habit of guessing what the guy’s thinking.

“Take it easy,” Duke mumbles to himself, pulling his hood over his ears. He breathes slow, easing his heartbeat. He’s not in trouble yet. Batman had told Signal not to get involved. Technically, he hadn’t said anything about Duke. And Duke knows how to deal with assholes in his neighborhood. His block, his problem, his solution.

The streetlights above him flicker slightly as he passes by, just a couple lumens drifting in and out. He’s stopped trying to control that. It doesn’t unsettle him anymore. The particles of light shifting just makes it feel like he’s got company: like wherever he is, he’s never alone.

He doesn’t mind that feeling. The Signal is all about light. That’s why he’s got the day shift. Manipulating the angles, bouncing it off of the curves of his armor to fill gaps and shadowy spaces, all of that is easy. Compared to what Batman does, Signal’s playful, kinda. It opens folks up, eases their nerves. He’s built a relationship with the community.

But at night, when there’s no daylight to wash the shadows out — at night Duke can fuck with the dark, too.

He finds Tommy Donovan at the rendezvous point, out back of the Irish pub where they never fixed the flickering streetlight. By then, Duke’s draped his earbuds over the back of his neck, his hood pulled way up. It had been easy to add an extra swath of shadow over his eyes, to make him unrecognizable — not that Tommy’d recognize him anyway. He’s probably never been to the Narrows before.

Donovan smirks when he sees him, already palming a baggie from his pocket. Asshole. “Hey, kid,” he greets. Duke resents that, too. “You came to the right place.”

Fuck the formalities, Duke decides. He shoves up the sleeves of his sweatshirt. Shadows flicker ink-dark across his knuckles and curl around his wrists, dripping off the pads of his palms. He likes it when they look alive like that. Like he’s got some unholy creature at his beck and call.

“I did, huh?” he asks, darkening his voice too. He yanks the shadows from the back of the alley and pools them at the guy’s feet, coaxing them up the wall behind him. Donovan’s surrounded.

It’s just light and its absence. Just tricks, nothing substantial. But the guy looks terrified. Duke thinks this must be how Bruce feels all the time, this sick kind of triumph. He feels powerful.

“I,” the guy starts, stuttering, “I— I don’t know what you want from me, man, I’m not- I’m not doing- this is a misunderstanding.”

The baggie’s still in his damn hand. Duke scoffs. He rolls his wrist the way he’s practiced, flicking his fingers, and darkness spatters heavy as blood across the ground. “A misunderstanding?” he echoes, stepping forward. “Nah, I understand perfectly. I understand you’re in the wrong business, man.”

Donovan starts to press his back against the concrete wall, then yelps as the shadows sneak onto the curves of his shoulders. Duke decides that’s too much. He pulls them back, just a little. “Quit selling to kids,” he says fiercely. “Matter of fact, stop selling at all. Find a new line of work. I see you around again, you’re done. You got it?”

The man nods, trembling. Duke pulls a glimmer of light from the old streetlamp into his eyes, piercing through the shrouded mask of his face. “Cool. Get the fuck out of here,” he growls. And Tommy Donovan obliges, nearly tripping over himself on his way back to the sidewalk.

When he’s sure the coast is clear, Duke lets the shadows seep back into position in the hollows and gaps of the alley, retreating from his face. His heart is pounding, he realizes, quickened with the strain of holding himself back. That scares him a little. Fighting giant plants or killer robots or mobs of men with machine guns, or chasing away assholes like Donovan, all of that is simple. It’s what Duke could do, in the right circumstances, that freaks him out the most. Sometimes he thinks he’s got no idea what he’s capable of.

As if he’ll feel something different, Duke reaches up to touch his cheek, but skin is skin. Illuminated or not, his is always warm.

His mom had always said that was the sun in him. Whenever Gotham was gray too many days in a row, she’d cup his cheek and ask: You been taking bites out of that sun again? I see it in your smile, baby. It had been a sweet nothing to her. But he remembers being six, staring at his face in the mirror, imagining the burns on his lips, tasting the heat. All that light in his belly. Like if he opened his mouth wide enough, it’d all come rushing out.

Duke shakes off the memory, watching the darkened street. He wonders how much light he would swallow down, how much darkness he’d release, to save his city. He wonders if it’d ever be enough.

[ad-ciu]

Hello! I hope the following question makes sense and doesn't cause too much head-scratching:

Are the currently publicly-available translations of medieval Irish texts a decent enough approximation of the "cadence" and style of the originals? Such that if I were to write a story to the rhythm of those, it could reasonably be said to be "right"? Would I have written something "like" the TBC, or Tochmarc Emire or whatever--or would I just be writing in the cadence that a late 19th/early 20th century translator thought they ought to have?

(The context is that a friend of mine is writing essentially a mech anime in epic verse with heavy inspiration from middle English Arthurian literature, a project I enjoy hugely. I've occasionally harboured ambitions of doing something similar for the Ulster cycle but always get stuck on where on the scale of medieval to modern language-style to even begin)

& I guess the other part of that is, is it even possible to be "authentic" in English, when you're not writing in a version of the language of the Irish texts? (I'm aware of fun things like that "Tattooine Cycle" article, but that's presenting itself as a translated manuscript, so using the style of older translations makes sense there)

Oh, what a fascinating question!

It depends I suppose on what you take 'cadence' to mean. If you mean the actual rhythm of speaking these stories aloud, unfortunately all modern editions and translations of medieval Irish texts will broadly fail to capture this with any degree of accuracy due to a lack of punctuation in the original medieval texts. Punctuation is something we impose as editors to try to make the material clearer, but if our choices of where sentences start, stop, where commas go, what should and should not be a run on sentence, all of those are modern impositions on the texts.

However, this is also just sort of normal, because modern punctuation styles are commonly imposed on earlier texts in the editing / translating department. So, my gut instinct is that this isn't what you mean.

If, by cadence you mean something more like 'how these stories were read', not considering punctuation, unfortunately that's also entirely unknown. As it so happens, I was just yesterday considering how the character Cuscraid the Stammerer does not stammer in any of his dialogue in the texts, which makes me wonder if this was intended to be something someone reading these tales aloud would incorporate or not. Similarly, if certain lines are intended to be delivered or interpreted as sarcastic or not is not left to us.

However, this is also a problem with written English, where tone, inflection, other important elements of communication are not actually encoded in standard text which requires some slight innovations like emojis or the idea of '/s'.

So, I'm guessing you might mean something along the lines of the basic style of the text? Like, if you have over-extended descriptions, heavy use of epithets, long-sub tales, poetic interjections, and the basic vibes of the sentences? If that is the case, then the early translators were doing, broadly speaking, a rather reasonable job. There are some which are just absolute garbage (essentially any that are trying to translate poetry into poetry, something they lacked the knowledge of medieval Irish metrics to do properly, but those are -extremely rare-), but broadly speaking you'll be fine to draw inspiration from those.

The big warning I'll give you, however, is how stories are written is changing a lot in the medieval Irish period. For instance, if you read the 8th-10th century text Longes mac nUislenn and compare it to the 15th(?) century text Oidheadh Cloinne hUisneach, which is ultimately the same story but being told with different words, you'll see massive differences.

Broadly speaking, the earlier a text is the more clipped and short it will be. With the super-early material seeming almost more like a point-form summary of a tale. The later into the tradition a tale is, the longer, more exaggerated, and detailed tales become. Some of the late Early Modern Ulster Cycle tales for instance will have multiple pages discussing what clothes people are wearing. Similarly, the later a text becomes the more obsessed they seem to be with incorporating elements of earlier tales, but we should note that this may be an illusion. We do not know if our earliest texts are doing this because they could be borrowing heavily from lost materials.

So, what I would suggest is that you pick a specific time period you want to emulate, read a few texts from then to model your story off of (if you have issues, just drop me a message or whatever, let me know the period you want and I can give you texts, or you can give me a text you like and I can give you other contemporary ones).

The broader question of it you can be 'authentic' to these stories in English is... more complex. If I was being extremely academic and pedantic I would say 'absolutely not, every translation itself is a re-imagining of a text'. But, even if you were somehow able to write an entire story in Old Irish with perfect fluency, it still wouldn't be perfectly authentic because you aren't living in 8th century Ireland, so you'll be understanding things differently. And, that's fine. If I am not being extremely academic and pedantic, I'd say 'You can be as good as it matters, if you do a bit of legwork and consideration of things'.

EDIT: I should actually give examples of what I'm talking about. Here are three different versions of Tochmarc Emire, the Old Irish version (fragmentary), the Middle Irish version, and the Early Modern Irish version (called Foglaim Con Culainn, only interested in the later half of the tale).

If you read those, you'll see super clearly how storytelling is changing in these periods.

I hope that helps! And if you need any further assistance, please do not hesitate to toss a rock at me!