#introduction to the us food system

[o-wild-west-wind]

So I’m still breaking down my thoughts, and something I keep returning to re: the politics of the Gliyeraba Thropple™ is the multifaceted question of class and power.

While Glinda is the epitome of privilege and the “rich girl” archetype, Fiyero AND Elphaba arguably start the show with more power and influence than Glinda does. Fiyero, of course, is the prince of the Vinkus—but Elphaba is notably the daughter of the governor of Munchkinland, which puts them nearer in terms of political/royal/class standing (and yes…the arranged marriage AUs DO go hard).

Now, the reason this is all so interesting is because it situates Glinda as someone with a huge outset motivation to social climb. Because while Elphaba clearly doesn’t have actual power, she and Fiyero share one thing that Glinda doesn’t have—a position that has them primed for disillusionment. Although Elphaba clearly still believes that it gets better at the top (a.k.a. the Wizard), she already has a lifetime of experiencing how hypocritical and loveless life in the "aristocracy" can be. Meanwhile, Fiyero’s very introduction is one of a depressed nihilist (all wrapped up in a flashy dance number); he’s transgressive from the start, which is perhaps the privilege one has when you’re already born at the top of the food chain—all the while also indicative of a genuine dislike of the system he’s in (and this is where I have MORE thoughts on gender and queerness, but I think that’ll deserve its own post). So although their actions are unequivocally brave, there's a lot less disillusionment E&F need to unpack before they break out—and, one could argue, an inherent privilege in their already being closer to the "truth."

Where I’m going with this is that I think Glinda represents something fascinating about the psyche of the bourgeoisie/upper-middle class—something that has real-world implications today. Because there’s something about her specific rung of power—the one that is just powerful enough to remain perpetually aspirational, like the peak of a bell-curve of ignorance—that taps into an important facet of “how wickedness happens.” It’s the story of the people who vote against their own interests because they think of themselves as "future billionaires;" the people who arguably lack the privilege of knowing that their race to the top is meaningless. It's the mindset that leaves you abandoning your morals and deepest loves for a system that forever dupes you into thinking your heart's desire is still just behind the curtain.

It’s all another part of why Glinda’s character is so lushly complex. She's complicit, but it stems from a genuine ignorance and vulnerability—and we get to watch her rise and fall so we don't fall victim to the same falsehoods. And I think it's also part of why our tellings and re-tellings of The Wizard of Oz, the true "American fairytale," still continue to resonate with us over a century later.

[sweetkpopmusings]

hongjoong coworker headcanons <3

a/n: a whole bunch of people got laid off at my company today, so it only seems right that i cope by escaping into thoughts of coworker!ateez <3 please enjoy the precious gem that is coworker!hongjoong :,-) pics not mine~

content: fluff, nonidol!au | wc: 1k | warnings: none really! one mention of food | pairing: coworker!hongjoong x gn!reader | requests: open

everyone, and i mean absolutely everyone, wants to be mentored by hongjoong

they don’t care if they aren’t even in the same department as hongjoong

they just KNOW that he is the best ally and support system to have in the office

everyone also says his face is a workplace perk most people are too scared to say thing within earshot of hongjoong lmao

hongjoong knows everything people say about him, but he doesn’t let on

instead, he simply does his job and minds his business

things change when you start working at the company

you were hired in not only the same department, but same team as hongjoong

so your supervisor assigned hongjoong as your mentor

hongjoong, ever the professional, happily accepts and promises to train you well, so you can succeed in your new role

this all happens before you have a chance to learn hongjoong’s lore at the office

so you are wildly confused by the shocked and jealous stares from your coworkers as hongjoong walks you to your desk

it also feels suspicious that seemingly everybody is walking by your desk while hongjoong gives you a brief introduction to workflows, programs, etc.

but you, like hongjoong, are just trying to mind your business and do your job

which is actually super easy because hongjoong knows every single hack, automation, etc that means you can get your work done without being slowed down by tedious tasks

he’s a genius but so casual about it that you’re just sitting there like :-0 ??? how does he know everything ???

he chuckles when he sees your face and assures you that it’s just because he’s been there for ages and that soon enough you’ll be exactly the same way

you doubt it but appreciate his confidence in you LOL

at the end of your first week, hongjoong offers to take you to lunch

he says your boss is paying for it because it is “team bonding” so you agree 

what you didn’t know was that this team bonding would include hongjoong spilling ALL the tea in the office

he wasn’t gossiping in a cruel way, but he felt it was his duty, as your mentor, to give context on all the looks you were receiving

hongjoong finds it hilarious and adorable when you look at him with an absolutely shocked face

he just sits back while it sinks in for you, and, based on your reaction, hongjoong knows for sure that he finally has a friend in the office

he can tell that you won’t treat him like he’s different, which is a massive relief for him

so, from that day on, he makes it his mission to be both an amazing mentor AND a good friend

he stops by your desk for little check-ins and spends his breaks with you, whether sipping on coffee or walking around outside

hongjoong remembers everything you tell him about your life like he’s an incredible listener

you joke that it’s creepy he pays SO much attention to every detail you share and he says his resume didn’t say “detailed-oriented” for nothing

that is the moment you realize he is a complete dork LOL

speaking of dorky hongjoong

whenever he offers you a “cheer up!” or “you’ve got this!” it feels so much like a proud parent cheering on their child

he complains when you say this because “at least i should be an older brother but a DAD?!?!”

hongjoong is sulky but that goes away as soon as you buy him his favorite drink

you also changed his contact to “dad” but he doesn’t need to know that <3

he isn’t beating the dad/older brother allegations any time soon because he nags you once he gets comfortable with you 

it’s always with a smile on his face and full of care

but he will nag you about keeping your desk clean, using better handwriting, making your presentations more stylistic, etc

like sorry when did he become a judge instead of a mentor ???

it’s okay though because he lets you return the favor by nagging him constantly <3

hongjoong pretends not to like it when you nag him, but it fills his heart because that means you’re comfortable with him too :,-)

it also adds to everyone’s jealousy because you two are CLEARLY close and hongjoong finds their envy ridiculous and hilarious 

he definitely brags about how close you two are like he thinks you’re incredible and that everyone should be jealous they don’t know you like he does

somehow dating rumors start of course and when asked about it, you and hongjoong always reply with “wouldn’t you like to know”

hongjoong made you promise to give that answer because he thinks it’s fun to mess with everyone LMAO

he has so much fun with you that, to show his appreciation, hongjoong gets you a gift for your one-year anniversary at the company, including a handwritten note

he makes you promise not to open it while he’s with you because he doesn’t want either of you to feel awkward

later, once you read the note, you understand exactly why he requested this

the note starts with him praising your work ethic and improvement because he’s a proud mentor :,-)

at the end, he confesses that, before you started working there, he felt pretty isolated

it was like he was on an island or in a fish bowl, being watched from afar by everyone else

after that first lunch, and the many, many conversations you shared afterward, hongjoong finally felt like he belonged there

you made hongjoong feel like he belonged

that was something he was immensely grateful for, so he promised to pay you back by supporting you as a coworker and person, so you never felt like you were alone or an outsider

hongjoong tries to play it off the next time he sees you, but the sparkle in his eye when you thank him for being such a good colleague and friend reveals just how much he cherishes you in the workplace and beyond <333

[inuyashaluver]

Maybe you could write one where Alessia has a girlfriend who is a firefighter (which means she is taller and more muscular that lessi). And the relationship is the typical sunshine and grumpy?

fire safety - alessia russo

alessia russo x reader

description: in which you and your girlfriend are absolutely smitten for each other, even if your girl is embarrassed for your initial interactions

warnings: do me a favour and imagine lessi has played in arsenal for much longer xx, swearing

a/n: this request had me GIGGLING like stopppp too good, thank you so much, please please please enjoy!!

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

whenever someone asks for the introduction of your relationship with you and your girlfriend, alessia, your girl can’t help but be embarrassed.

it’s easy for alessia to say that your introduction to each other was degrading for her, not believing how much she embarrassed herself in front of you. however, the whole interaction with the arsenal striker, you couldn’t help but find her bubbly-self cute, completely contrasting your stern personality.

you’re a firefighter, a job that you absolutely loved. you were very serious about your job, often seen with a scowl on your face. helping people in need was one of life’s greatest rewards, until your girlfriend came along and took a joint first place in your heart. your girlfriend, the princess of women’s football loved nothing more than to do what she loves, both of you incredibly passionate.

—

it was a regular, cold day in england. a slow day for alessia at training and a slow day for you at the station. both of you were painfully single, seemingly, no one caught your eye, so much so that the both of you were constantly set up with people you just didn’t like.

“(y/n), just meet with this girl, she’s really cute” your colleague pleads, you were both currently sitting in uniform in the small break room at your fire station, patiently awaiting for the signal to go off in case of emergency.

you let out an exasperated sigh, leaning forward to cradle your face with your hands, shaking your head in frustration. “no, when the right person comes along, i’ll know, no more stupid dates” you point your finger at the girl with a glare, “ugh fine” she gives you a light shove, sinking into her seat as she glares at you over the table.

you were about to argue with her and instead got interrupted by the blaring of the alarm system, an emergency.

you quickly rush to get on your protective gear and head to the truck, hopping in the driver’s seat and going as quickly as you could.

“head to the arsenal training facility” your colleague informs, you let out a little hint of a smile, your favourite team, you nod and turn on the sirens.

—

“alessia! that’s fucking burning!” leah yells, alessia was currently making food for her and leah in the arsenal training facility kitchen when she looked away for just a quick second, the pan somehow bursting into flames.

“shit, shit, shit!” the fire alarm floods the facility, people rushing around to get out as quick as they could. smoke was filling the air of the small kitchen, no circulation causing the fire to stay put.

alessia was in a panic, she just froze, she had no idea what to do. leah was no help either, claiming she didn’t know how to use the fire extinguisher staring at them in the corner.

“what the fuck do we do?” alessia exclaims, looking at leah’s shocked face for help until she sees fire fighters filling up the room.

all of them had big helmets on, covering their faces, two of them put the fire out in no time. meanwhile, you see alessia and leah watching in horror, your eyebrow furrows at why they were still inside the smoky room, extremely dangerous for the both of them.

you colleague grabs leah and drags her outside, meanwhile, you walk up the prettiest girl you had ever seen, you’ve seen her on tv but god was she gorgeous in person. “focus” you whisper to yourself, you quickly place a hand on her back and direct her outside to where the staff and teams were waiting for clearance.

alessia looks up at you when she feels a hand on her back, you were so much taller than her, uncommon for the girl. all she could see was your eyes, your face covered by your thick helmet. she was red in the face looking up at you, completely dazed.

“are you okay?” a muffled voice says to her, she recognises that it’s yours. all she could do at this point was nod, your gloved hand still stationed on her back, keeping her relatively close to you.

you quickly nod at her, moving back inside to help the rest of your colleagues, coming out shortly after to the people outside staring at the 7 firefighters in their training facility.

you take off your helmet, lightly shaking your head and holding it under one of your arms. “fuck, okay” alessia mutters under her breath, looking at you with a dazed expression, taking in your muscular build and slightly flushed face, you were breathtaking.

a few of the girls on the team were looking at you in shock, many of them smirking and whispering at each other but all you could focus on was the pretty girl you took outside, her looking at you with pink cheeks.

your chief firefighter began talking to everyone, giving clearance to go back inside after about an hour, so the smoke could clear out. you stood to the side, eyes drawn to alessia, you were so intrigued by this girl, what were you going to do?

you take off your big jacket and store it in the truck, someone else would be driving on the way back. you were now in a short sleeve shirt, your muscles on full display. you only did this because you wanted the pretty girl to see you, not missing her ogling expressions towards you, you couldn’t help but smirk just at the thought.

suddenly, you feel a light touch to your shoulder, turning around to look down at just the girl you wanted to see.

“hi” she breathes out, smiling brightly at you, you give her a soft one in return,

“hey” you cross your arms and lean on the side of the truck, looking at her expectantly as her eyes trailed your body, shamelessly checking you out, you do the exact same thing, trailing your eyes over the gorgeous girl in her training kit.

“um, thank you for putting out that fire” she smiles sheepishly, rubbing her hands over her exposed arms.

“that’s my job” you smirk and shrug your shoulders, alessia turned a bright shade of red

“can i ask why you stood there in smoke when you could’ve died?” you move off the truck, standing directly in front of her with your arms crossed, she looked up at you with her piercing blue eyes, you were done for.

“oh! um..you see” she lets out an embarrassed laugh, “i kind of started the fire” she sighs, looking down at her shoes, lightly kicking the ground out of embarrassment.

“would you like me to give you a fire safety lesson..?” you bend down to dip your head towards her, catching her eyes

“alessia” she adds, you smile at her brightly,

“alessia, cute” you exhale through your nose in a little giggle, “now this is very serious, alessia, you could’ve seriously got hurt, your life matters you know?” you start, a stern expression evident on your face, alessia frowns a little at your scolding, nodding her head along with your words.

“you have seriously got to be more careful, this could’ve been way worse” you grumble, alessia nods again, avoiding your eye contact, getting scolded by literally her dream girl was quite humbling, she was so embarrassed.

“now that i’ve given you a scolding, let’s go through some fire safety” you quickly squeeze her arm as a comforting gesture, alessia’s breath hitched as your warm hand made contact with her cold arm.

“you must pay attention while you’re cooking, alessia” you remark, alessia cheeks were so pink, you couldn’t help but find her adorable.

“i was paying attention! and then leah showed me a video and we got distracted” she shakes her head and you look up to see leah looking at you both with a smirk, you squint your eyes at her and focus back on alessia.

“hm i see” you nod at her words, she finally looks up at you again, your eyes meeting with hers, you let in a sharp inhale,

“w-well okay, that’s fine, let’s just be more careful” she smiles at you and you just about die, feeling your cheeks grow warm. “i will” you smile back softly at her, just looking at each other for a few moments until you hear your chief calling for your team to leave.

alessia looks at you sadly, “now i hope the next time i see you, alessia, is that you’re not trying to die in a fire” you say cheekily, the girl lets out a small giggle at your words.

“and i hope the next time i see you..” she pauses,

“(y/n)” you fill in the blank expectantly,

“(y/n), pretty” she copies your previous exchange, “is that you’re not giving me a fire safety lesson” she smiles and you smirk at her,

“hm, we’ll see” you shrug, lightly squeezing her arm again as you move back to the truck, smiling when you see alessia waving bye to you shyly, you return her wave and get situated in your seat, ready to go back to the station.

both of you had the same thoughts after that, you need to see each other again.

—

about two weeks later, you were told a couple of firefighters needed to do a check up at the arsenal training facility for their fire alarms, you immediately volunteered in hopes of seeing alessia again.

alessia had thought about you everyday since she saw you, she only had your first name and it was incredibly hard to find you on social media, all she wanted was to see you again.

the girls were in the gym, doing slight warm ups. alessia was on an exercise bike, mindlessly peddling but stopping when she noticed a familiar build she had been thinking about for two weeks. you stroll in alone, letting out a slight smirk when you hear a wolf whistle when you walk in.

“sorry ladies, just need to check your fire alarms” you gesture to the ladder you were holding in one arm.

you look around and spot the girl you’d been thinking of everyday, the same one you’d been stalking on social media everyday. you had a hint of a glare on your face until you smile and wave at alessia, she just looks at you absolutely starstruck, this must have been a dream. leah beside alessia picks up her hand and waves it back at you, you smile and set up the ladder in the middle of the room, the girls around stopping what they’re doing to watch you.

it takes two seconds to check a fire alarm so you were very quick, not missing a few of the frowns when you climb down the ladder. alessia had stayed on the bike, watching your every move with a slightly agape jaw. all the girls watched in shock when they watched you walk up to alessia with a smirk, stopping in front of her and placing your hands on the handles of her bike, your hands brushing when she places them next to yours.

“hello, alessia”

“h-hi, (y/n)” she stumbles,

“i’m very happy to see that you’re not trying to die in a fire” you smirk at her, she can’t help but let out a little laugh,

“i’m very happy to see you” she smiles and you raise your eyebrows amusingly, “i mean! i’m very happy to see you’re not giving me a fire safety lesson” you smile at her pink cheeks, nodding in understanding with her,

“ah okay, well i actually came over here to give you a fire safety lesson” you joke, lightly grazing your thumb over her pinky, she looks down at them with a shy smile.

“yeah, okay” alessia laughs, moving her hand slightly closer to yours. “i came over here actually to get a pretty girls number so i could give her a private fire safety lesson, since she clearly needs it” you smirk, shrugging your shoulders, alessia flushes slightly, you own pink cheeks prominent.

“hm” she hums, “i think i do, so i’ll give the pretty girl in front of me my details so i can be extra safe.” alessia and you pull out your phones at the same time, exchanging numbers and shy smiles.

“well, alessia, i’ll call you about your private session” you wink at her, she smiles and nods, watching you pick up the ladder and walk out of the room, but not without glancing back at her with a grin.

“alessia! what the fuck! how did you pull her?” katie exclaims, getting harshly shoved by caitlin in the corner.

“i have no idea” alessia mumbles, looking down at your contact information in her phone.

—

and so, you invited alessia out on a date, going extremely well. you met up multiple times during the week, finding out you lived 5 minutes from each other. slowly, you both begin to date, now being in a relationship for just over 2 years.

you moved in together, finding a new flat in the same location, both of you absolutely smitten with each other. you always came to alessia’s games or came to visit her at training. alessia loved it, calling you a big softie and always laughing at your scowl.

you went to a game one day, sitting in the friends and family section to watch your girl play in your ‘russo’ jersey. arsenal had won 3-1, alessia scoring one of the goals. she spots you waiting for her near the tunnel, her eyes lighting up and running over to you. you smile brightly at her, lifting her easily over the barrier to stand right in front of you, alessia wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you into a tight hug.

you hide your face in her neck, placing a small kiss there and rubbing your hands over her back, pulling her closer.

“hi, baby” she breathes out,

“hi, lessi baby” you give her a light squeeze, pulling away to be at arm's length so you could see her face.

she puckers her lips up at you and you smile, leaning down to place a sweet kiss on her lips, moving together tenderly, gently and filled with so much love. you both kept it tame from the peering eyes of spectators, pulling away with a quick peck before picking her up and placing her back over the barrier.

alessia smiles shyly, “let me shower and i’ll meet you at the back” you nod at her, alessia smiles brightly and blows you a kiss before running off to the change rooms.

you wait for her by your car, alessia was your passenger princess and she loved it way more than she would like to admit. she walks out tiredly, dressed in one of your hoodies and some shorts. she smiles at you brightly and trudges towards you, you run up to her and sweep her up in your arms, carrying her to the car with a bright smile. she smiles at you so brightly, “softie” she whispers, giggling at your fake scowl, “star girl” this time you laugh at her scowl full of complete amusement, she rolls her eyes at you when you place her in the seat and buckle her in with a peck to her lips.

as soon as you both got inside of the house, both of you get changed, and when you near the couch, alessia pushes you down and completely lies on top of you. you let out a little laugh when she sinks her weight into you. you place your hand under her hoodie to roam your hands on the skin of her back, the girl hums at your contact.

she moves to hover over you, smiling at you brightly.

“my pretty girl” you whisper affectionately, puckering your lips up at her, she immediately moves to kiss you, kissing each other softly until you grab the back of her head to deepen the kiss. you both pull away breathlessly, smiling at each other brightly.

“i’m so happy you gave me a fire safety lesson” she says cheekily,

“well i’m not going to say i’m happy you almost died in a fire but i’m happy i saw you anyway” you remark with a wink, grinning at her, she groans in embarrassment, hiding her face in your neck, you let out a bright laugh, holding her close to you.

—

whenever you and alessia visited each other at work, you would look at each other so proudly, bragging and showing each other off. everyone could see how in love with each other you were, incredibly endearing for the ones that were trying to set you up on dates for years and years.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

liked by leahwilliamsonn and 44,232 others

alessiarusso99: i’ll commit arson if it means i get to see her in this uniform

view all comments

yourname: have we learnt nothing?

↳ alessiarusso99: i learnt that i love a woman in uniform?

↳ yourname: baby, do we need another fire safety lesson? seems like you learnt nothing from our previous ones

↳ alessiarusso99: hm, i think i do

↳ yourname: minx

[okayto]

Mini-Review: Jet Lag: The Game

An American travel competition series, each season features a contest that sends players to achieve a geographical objective in different parts of the world, some of which are inspired by board games. Whether it's teams traveling to to US states to claim a Connect Four-style row or column, circumnavigating the globe via air travel, playing tag across western Europe, or driving the vertical length of New Zealand, players will race against each other and the reliability of transit to get the win.

Imagine: you are an adult, collapsing into a hotel bed after a long day of getting lost on the public transit of your vacation city. You're about to stream something funny and not difficult to follow—maybe Nailed It!, maybe Taskmaster—when you companion interjects, says they've been watching this really fun travel race show, and starts a playlist where a quartet of people in predawn darkness run away six seconds into the video, and suddenly you're watching people race to circumnavigate the world?

That was my introduction to Jet Lag: The Game.

Each season is a self-contained game, and they mix it up: the first season (which, for some reason, is the second playlist on YouTube) is a game of "Connect Four" across America, where teams must "claim" four states in a horizontal or vertical row by traveling to each one and completing challenges, while the second game is a race to circumnavigate the globe, and the third season is a game of tag across western Europe, primarily using train systems.

Sidequest-like challenges are an integral part of these games. In most of them, players must unlock coins or money (as in a video game) to have the in-game balance to buy tickets, or unlock information about opponents, etc., so the series is never a straight race. The challenges vary by season and location, but include things like:

Logic or trivia challenges

Go to a museum for half an hour and tell the camera 5 fun facts you learned

Eat a menu item at McDonald's you can't get in the US

Get 1000 feet from any building

Get a hole in one in mini golf

Find [animal] at [local attraction famous for animal]

Make cheese

Cursed! Listen to Tom Lehrer's "Element Song" on repeat until you reach the next city [over an hour away]

Cursed! Only take trains that leave at odd-numbered times

Acquire any food produced in your current state and mail it to your family

Explain the birds and the bees to a bird or a bee

Ride a horse

Get goosebumps while at least one goose is in the camera frame

Because the challenges are random (usually drawn from a shuffled deck of cards), it adds tension to the games: the player or team needs money/coins/points in order to travel, or thwart their competitors, and there's a real risk that they'll fail because it's physically impossible or there's not enough time to complete.

If you, like me, are wary of YouTubers™, worry not. The focus here is the game, and the players do a decent job trying not to bother other people: most faces of passers-by are blurred, players try to set up in out-of-the-way corners when filming, and when they need to interact with people, like at a customer service desk, the camera is usually pointed at the player. There's also a lot of being very polite to customer service, drivers, and others they interact with. You can see them get strange looks sometimes, but overall they do a good job of trying not to be Social Media Personalities™ disruptively.

And the players themselves also seem to be nice people to watch; they'll send "curses" or other interruptions when the game allows for it, but there's no out-of-game interpersonal unpleasantness that makes it into the show. Also, one player, Ben, consistently wears the brightest, most funky clothes. He has no camouflage in a crowd, but who cares.

Final comments: Highly recommend. It's fun, safe for most ages—swears stronger than "damn" get bleeped—and you can tell that a lot of planning and thought has gone into game development to balance things. If you like the idea of race-type reality shows combined with good attitudes and sportsmanship, you'll probably enjoy this.

Subtitle availability: English closed captions are available and very well-done, sometimes including different font colors to indicate different people in conversations, and some excellent phonetic spellings of mispronunciations! However, for the first two seasons (Connect 4 and Circumnavigation), only auto-generated captions on YT are available.

Where to watch (USA, as of December 2024): YouTube (playlists link [X]) and Nebula (which was partially founded by the game's creator)—which also has recap/discussion podcasts, and series outtake video tarting with season 8, and the service gets new episodes a week early.

Start watching with: The friend who introduced me started me with the first playlist that shows up on YouTube, Circumnavigation, so I feel like if it worked on me, it'll work on others. But if that doesn't appeal to you, starting with either the next playlist—Connect Four Across America (which is actually the first season) or the third season, Tag Eur It, would be good. I started my parents on Tag Eur It, a game of tag across multiple European countries, because I think it's got one of the strongest hooks of any early series, explains the rules very quickly, and the immediate urgency (runner must run; chasers start to follow soon after) draws you in very quickly.

But really, starting anywhere will work. However, because the creators sometimes reference outcomes from earlier games, especially when they are playing near the location of previous games, I recommend watching any similar-geography games in order (Tag 1 before Tag 2 or Hide and Seek, and New Zealand [Race to the End of the World] before Australia).

Status/Frequency: There are currently 11 complete seasons on Youtube (12 on Nebula), and so far new seasons premier roughly 3-ish times a year, with most seasons lasting 5-6 episodes, and episodes tend to be 30-45 minutes each. As of this review, there is no indication that this is likely to change anytime soon, and the 12th season premiers this month.

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[cantwritethetword]

(2023) TickleTober Day 8: Alien - More Human Than You Think

Fic Descript - The Doctor maintains that being tickling is a strictly human thing. While Rory is quick to accept it, Amy knows him too well.

~A/N  - BLAME @carrie-tate FOR THIS HER 11TH DOCTOR ART HAS REIGNITED MY LOVE OF THIS TRIO AND INSPIRED ME TO WRITE THIS FIC (ngl heavily based on this art)

These guys were my first introduction to doctor who when I was like 8 so they are very very important to me I love them, so hopefully I write this well ^^

(also feel it's important for everyone to know that I watched this wonderful montage the whole time I was writing it lmao)

- Enoy! ~

Tag List: @fullsongphilosopher

Masterpost Link 

TickleTober Masterpost

"I keep thinking I'm used to you." Rory said with a light chuckle.

The Doctor popped up from where he was working. "What's that supposed to mean?" He asked with a scrunched face, wielding a modified hair dryer and what looked like washing machine tablets.

Clearly the irony was lost on him.

The TARDIS needed a little TLC (in the Doctor's words), and so the team had taken the rare opportunity of peacefully floating through space to get some adjustments done. The Doctor was banging and tinkering at the console, Rory was watching, and Amy had gone to take a shower (because apparently she had no desire to listen to the Doctor's consistent yapping as he worked).

"Well, I've been here for long enough to feel like I know you." Rory explained. "But then you go do something... odd... And it's like the first day I met you all over again."

"Are you forgetting Rory," The Doctor half-shouted over the whirring of the hair dryer. "I'm an over 900 year old Time Lord from another planet, of course I'm odd. The best people are."

Rory softly tilted his head, taking a moment to fully appreciate that perhaps it was the overall circumstance that was weird rather than the person in front of him, before circling around the console closer to his friend.

"That looks better." The Doctor sat upright and clicked off his tool, turning to face Rory. "What do you think? After this I've just got a few more tweaks and we can be off again."

"You look human though." Rory continued from his previous train of thought. "You eat human food, you dress in human clothes, surely you aren't completely Alien."

"I'm just as Alien to you as you are to me." The Doctor chirped, scurrying over to the next stage in his TARDIS-repair plan.

As he moved, however, he failed to realise the space (or lack thereof) between his head and the edge of the console. He let out a tight-lipped groan as he rubbed the impact site on the top of his forehead.

"And you feel pain like us." Rory added, jumping to add the spontaneous example that would back up his point to the list.

The Doctor shot him an agitated look. "Don't they teach you bedside manner at your nursing job? I near enough break my skull and all you do is point out that we both feel pain? Most beings do!"

Rory, ignoring the Doctor's initial complaining and instead focusing on his last statement, nodded in contemplation. "I suppose they do..."

"I sUpPoSe tHeY- ugh..." The Doctor rolled his eyes, accepting that he wasn't getting any sympathy from the usually most sympathetic person on the TARDIS. "Any other questions? Or can I get back to doing something important."

"Hmm..." Rory scratched the back of his head. "Are you ticklish or anything?"

The Doctor froze momentarily, before jumping to his feet with a spin and a smile. "Nope, that's unique to you humans."

Rory gave him a doubtful but unsure look.

"Honestly, if anything you lot are the weird ones with your... hyperactive nervous systems... and... involuntary laughter responses..." The Doctor rambled, but his flow was a little more disjointed than usual.

"I guess so..." Rory nodded, but he still couldn't shake the memory of the Doctor's odd reaction.

But, there was little time to think about it.

"Has he bored you to death yet?" Amy said with a grin from the stairway.

"Hey!" The Doctor complained as Rory laughed. "I'm the most quality entertainment out there."

Rory opened his arm for Amy to tuck herself under it. "The Doctor was just telling me how weird we humans are."

Amy gave him a look. "You're one to talk Mr Bow-Tie."

The Doctor tugged on the aforementioned accessory. "Bow ties are-."

"Bow ties are cool, right." She finished for him, rolling her eyes. "My point still stands, how exactly are we the weird ones?"

As Rory opened his mouth, the Doctor jumped in first. "Well, weird might be a strong word. Humanity is wonderful and beautiful and terrible and strange and-"

"We're ticklish." Rory interrupted. "But that was the only example he could give me so I'm not sure I-"

"Oh you're not ticklish, Doctor?" Amy asked halfway through Rory's statement, but something in her grin made The Doctor suspect she knew the answer already.

"Uh..." The Doctor rubbed his neck. "Well I... Well..."

"He said it was just a human thing." Rory offered a response, oblivious to the rising tension surrounding the Doctor.

"Is it now?" Amy took a few steps closer to the Time Lord, her face trying to seem innocent and confused. "Just humans?"

The Doctor stumbled backwards, his hands fumbling over themselves. "Well, perhaps sometimes... some Time Lords may... may be a little more uh... susceptible to uh... to things like that."

Amy continued her devastatingly slow pursuit around the console of the TARDIS, leaving Rory on the opposite side. "And would you be one of them?"

Rory finally caught on as the Doctor backed up towards him. "Wait you lied to me?!"

"Rory it was nothing personal I just-" The Doctor babbled nervously, his hands now forming a semi-protective barrier between him and his pursuer.

Amy made eye contact with her husband, that evil grin still plastered on her face. "Rory, how do we feel about liars?"

Without a word, Rory stepped behind the Doctor and hooked his arms under the Doctor's shoulders.

"Waitwaitwaitwait no!" The Doctor shrieked, wriggling in Rory's hold. "Plehease!"

"Huh..." Amy paused, an inquisitive look on her face. "Humans normally wait for the tickling to start before we start laughing... Is that a Time Lord thing too?"

The Doctor whined. "Yohou know that's not truhue!"

Rory chuckled from behind. "You're not really in a position to talk about truth right now."

The Doctor was about to argue when Amy lunged, lightly scribbling her fingernails all over the poor Doctor's torso. He inhaled sharply, the effort of containing his reactions forcing out squeaking noises.

"Seems pretty ticklish to me." Rory commented, struggling with the sudden responsibility of keeping the Doctor upright.

Amy smirked, pausing her attack. "Oh, I don't know... He's not laughing anymore, maybe he was right..."

"I'm-" The Doctor panted out. "Always... right-"

Before he even had the chance to finish there were ten fingers digging under his armpits.

His eagerness to jump at the opportunity to talk after being unable to for the last ten seconds was exactly what Amy was counting on, and the sudden unexpected attack brought out a shriek of helpless cackles from the poor Doctor.

With a grin, Amy looked up at her husband. "Now this is what I'd call ticklish."

"OHOKAY FINE FINE FIHIHINE!" The Doctor yelped in between giggles. "I'M TICKLIHISH! JUST LET ME GOHOHO!"

Rory and Amy locked eyes, smirking.

"What do you think Rory?" Amy asked, letting her fingers skitter up and down the Doctor's bony ribcage. "Have we proved our point?"

Rory hummed in thought, drawing out his response to mess with the Time Lord as long as humanly possible. "I might be convinced, but he still hasn't apologised for lying..."

"I DIHIDN'T HAVE A CHOHOHOICE!!!"

Switching to drilling her thumbs into the Doctor's hip bones in response to his claim, Amy gave him a fake-confused look. "That doesn't sound like an apology."

Rory laughed, while the Doctor scrambled to put together something that sounded like speech through his laughter. "FIHIHINE OKAHAY I'M SOHOHORRY!"

Amy withdrew her fingers as Rory guided the Doctor to the floor, letting him rest his head on Rory's leg.

"I think you're more human than you think." Rory chuckled, patting the Doctor's shoulder.

"Right." The Doctor glared up at him, but there was a hint of softness behind his eyes. "Can we go now?"

[trashpandato]

Romance

Earth customs are weird. 

Kara knows this; has known it for many years. And sure, she’s spent all those years trying to learn, trying to understand what makes humans tick so she could mimic it successfully enough to not stand out. 

“Fake it til you make it”, Alex used to say, implying that if Kara spent enough time pretending, human behaviour would eventually become second nature to her.

And fake it she did. Some Earth customs were easy enough to adopt. Like wide smiles that cover up her pain, the concept of comfort foods or all-you-can-eat buffets, or even humans’ tendency to find excuses to turn any random day into some kind of celebration - Hump Day, Tax Deadline Day, Polar Bear Plunge Day, National Frozen Yogurt Day. (She’s half-convinced that most of these are inventions by Alex to confuse her, but she celebrates National Gummy Worm Day on July 15th anyway.)

But if she’s honest, a lot of the things that humans do, their customs, their rituals, still seem a little strange to Kara. Even after years of trying to understand.

Chatting up strangers, for example. On Krypton, interactions with someone not known to a person would have required some sort of intermediary, an introduction through a trusted person. If Kara had even dared to walk up to a stranger to talk to them, she would have faced discipline not just from her family but also from the broader community. When she first landed on Earth, she relied on Eliza or Alex to make introductions and felt intensely uncomfortable when kids at school would randomly talk to her. It took her a long time to believably mimic these kinds of human interactions, and if she’s honest, she still prefers an official introduction over just chatting up people out of the blue. (It’s why she was happy to tag along with Clark for her first encounter with Lena.)

Or there’s the act of blowing out candles on a birthday cake. Extinguishing light instead of keeping it burning as a means of celebration. The first time Eliza prompted Kara to blow out her candles, Kara was horrified and it took a lot of gentle reassurances from her adoptive mother to even consider partaking in this peculiar human tradition. To this day, Kara prefers her candles away from her cake and to leave them burning for as long as safely possible.

And then there are all the gestures associated with romance. With Krypton’s system of arranged pairings based on compatibility across a number of important factors, there was no need to wine and dine anyone. She could remember her parents showing affection for each other, but there was never any ritualized approach to romantic moments. Humans, on the other hand, humans have rules about dates, about which flowers are appropriate to give to someone and when, about who pays the bill at the fancy restaurant, about slow-dancing and little gifts and how many feelings to reveal and when. 

It’s a lot to keep track of and confusing, and all the romance movies in the world cannot prepare Kara for her first official date with Lena.

She shows up with plumerias, because she knows Lena likes those and she knows, knows, that she’s supposed to bring flowers. But then Lena has tears in her eyes as soon as Kara hands them over, and she’s also wearing this dress that hugs her body in ways that make Kara’s higher brain function fizzle out. So she doesn’t protest when Lena pulls her inside with her hands fisted into the lapels of Kara’s suit jacket, follows Lena’s lead when she pushes her against the kitchen island and kisses her senseless, and finds herself naked and sweaty in Lena’s bed not long after that.

When Kara’s stomach rumbles a couple of hours later and Lena calls to have some food delivered, Lena chuckles.

“We kind of did this all backwards.”

Kara frowns. “How so?”

“Well,” Lena leans in and presses her lips close to Kara’s ear, making her shiver, “usually, the clothes come off after the fancy dinner.”

“You humans have a lot of rules about romance,” Kara huffs, and Lena laughs.

“I suppose we do. But I’m happy to break every single one of them with you, Kara Zor-El.”

[thedansemacabres]

Introduction To Supporting Sustainable Agriculture For Witches and Pagans

[ID: An image of yellow grain stocks, soon to be harvested. The several stocks reach towards a blurred open sky, focusing the camera on he grains themselves. The leaves of the grains are green and the cereals are exposed].

PAGANISM AND WITCHCRAFT ARE MOVEMENTS WITHIN A SELF-DESTRUCTIVE CAPITALIST SOCIETY. As the world becomes more aware of the importance of sustainability, so does the duty of humanity to uphold the idea of the steward, stemming from various indigenous worldviews, in the modern era. I make this small introduction as a viticulturist working towards organic and environmentally friendly grape production. I also do work on a food farm, as a second job—a regenerative farm, so I suppose that is my qualifications. Sustainable—or rather regenerative agriculture—grows in recognition. And as paganism and witchcraft continue to blossom, learning and supporting sustainability is naturally a path for us to take. I will say that this is influenced by I living in the USA, however, there are thousands of groups across the world for sustainable agriculture, of which tend to be easy to research.

So let us unite in caring for the world together, and here is an introduction to supporting sustainable/regenerative agriculture. 

A QUICK BRIEF ON SUSTAINABLE AGRICULTURE 

Sustainable agriculture, in truth, is a movement to practise agriculture as it has been done for thousands of years—this time, with more innovation from science and microbiology especially. The legal definition in the USA of sustainable agriculture is: 

The term ”sustainable agriculture” (U.S. Code Title 7, Section 3103) means an integrated system of plant and animal production practices having a site-specific application that will over the long-term:

A more common man’s definition would be farming in a way that provides society’s food and textile needs without overuse of natural resources, artificial supplements and pest controls, without compromising the future generation’s needs and ability to produce resources. The agriculture industry has one of the largest and most detrimental impacts on the environment, and sustainable agriculture is the alternative movement to it. 

Sustainable agriculture also has the perk of being physically better for you—the nutrient quality of crops in the USA has dropped by 47%, and the majority of our food goes to waste. Imagine if it was composted and reused? Or even better—we buy only what we need. We as pagans and witches can help change this. 

BUYING ORGANIC (IT REALLY WORKS)

The first step is buying organic. While cliche, it does work: organic operations have certain rules to abide by, which excludes environmentally dangerous chemicals—many of which, such as DDT, which causes ecological genocide and death to people. Organic operations have to use natural ways of fertilising, such as compost, which to many of us—such as myself—revere the cycle of life, rot, and death. Organic standards do vary depending on the country, but the key idea is farming without artificial fertilisers, using organic seeds, supplementing with animal manure, fertility managed through management practices, etc. 

However, organic does have its flaws. Certified organic costs many, of which many small farmers cannot afford. The nutrient quality of organic food, while tending to be better, is still poor compared to regeneratively grown crops. Furthermore, the process to become certified organic is often gruelling—you can practise completely organically, but if you are not certified, it is not organic. Which, while a quality control insurance, is both a bonus and a hurdle. 

JOINING A CSA

Moving from organic is joining a CSA (“Community supported agriculture”). The USDA defines far better than I could: 

Community Supported Agriculture (CSA), one type of direct marketing, consists of a community of individuals who pledge support to a farm operation so that the farmland becomes, either legally or spiritually, the community’s farm, with the growers and consumers providing mutual support and sharing the risks and benefits of food production.

By purchasing a farm share, you receive food from the farm for the agreed upon production year. I personally enjoy CSAs for the relational aspect—choosing a CSA is about having a relationship, not only with the farmer(s), but also the land you receive food from. I volunteer for my CSA and sometimes I get extra cash from it—partaking in the act of caring for the land. Joining a CSA also means taking your precious capital away from the larger food industry and directly supporting growers—and CSAs typically practise sustainable and/or regenerative agriculture. 

CSAs are also found all over the world and many can deliver their products to food deserts and other areas with limited agricultural access. I volunteer from time to time for a food bank that does exactly that with the produce I helped grow on the vegetable farm I work for. 

FARM MARKETS AND STALLS 

Another way of personally connecting to sustainable agriculture is entering the realm of the farm stall. The farmer’s market is one of my personal favourite experiences—people buzzing about searching for ingredients, smiles as farmers sell crops and products such as honey or baked goods, etc. The personal connection stretches into the earth, and into the past it buries—as I purchase my apples from the stall, I cannot help but see a thousand lives unfold. People have been doing this for thousands of years and here I stand, doing it all over again. 

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Farmers’ markets are dependent on your local area, yet in most you can still develop personal community connections. Paganism often stresses community as an ideal and a state of life. And witchcraft often stresses a connection to the soil. What better place, then, is purchasing the products from the locals who commune with the land? 

VOLUNTEERING 

If you are able to, I absolutely recommend volunteering. I have worked with aquaponic systems, food banks, farms, cider-making companies, soil conservation groups, etc. There is so much opportunity—and perhaps employment—in these fields. The knowledge I have gained has been wonderful. As one example, I learned that fertilisers reduce carbon sequestration as plants absorb carbon to help with nutrient intake. If they have all their nutrients ready, they do not need to work to obtain carbon to help absorb it. This does not even get into the symbiotic relationship fungi have with roots, or the world of hyphae. Volunteering provides community and connection. Actions and words change the world, and the world grows ever better with help—including how much or how little you may provide. It also makes a wonderful devotional activity. 

RESOURCING FOOD AND COOKING 

Buying from farmers is not always easy, however. Produce often has to be processed, requiring labour and work with some crops such as carrots. Other times, it is a hard effort to cook and many of us—such as myself—often have very limited energy. There are solutions to this, thankfully:

Many farmers can and will process foods. Some even do canning, which can be good to stock up on food and lessen the energy inputs. 

Value-added products: farms also try to avoid waste, and these products often become dried snacks if fruit, frozen, etc. 

Asking farmers if they would be open to accommodating this. Chances are, they would! The farmer I purchase my CSA share from certainly does. 

Going to farmers markets instead of buying a CSA, aligning with your energy levels. 

And if any of your purchased goods are going unused, you can always freeze them. 

DEMETER, CERES, VEIA, ETC: THE FORGOTTEN AGRICULTURE GODS

Agricultural gods are often neglected. Even gods presiding over agriculture often do not have those aspects venerated—Dionysos is a god of viticulture and Apollon a god of cattle. While I myself love Dionysos as a party and wine god, the core of him remains firmly in the vineyards and fields, branching into the expanses of the wild. I find him far more in the curling vines as I prune them than in the simple delights of the wine I ferment. Even more obscure gods, such as Veia, the Etruscan goddess of agriculture, are seldom known.

Persephone receives the worst of this: I enjoy her too as a dread queen, and people do acknowledge her as Kore, but she is far more popular as the queen of the underworld instead of the dear daughter of Demeter. I do understand this, though—I did not feel the might of Demeter and Persephone until I began to move soil with my own hands. A complete difference to the ancient world, where the Eleusinian mysteries appealed to thousands. Times change, and while some things should be left to the past, our link to these gods have been severed. After all, how many of us reading know where our food comes from? I did not until I began to purchase from the land I grew to know personally. The grocery store has become a land of tearing us from the land, instead of the food hub it should be.

Yet, while paganism forgets agriculture gods, they have not forgotten us. The new world of farming is more conductive and welcoming than ever. I find that while older, bigoted people exist, the majority of new farmers tend to be LGBT+. My own boss is trans and aro, and I myself am transgender and gay. The other young farmers I know are some flavour of LGBT+, or mixed/poc. There’s a growing movement for Black farmers, elaborated in a lovely text called We Are Each Other’s Harvest. 

Indigenous farming is also growing and I absolutely recommend buying from indigenous farmers. At this point, I consider Demeter to be a patron of LGBT+ people in this regard—she gives an escape to farmers such as myself. Bigotry is far from my mind under her tender care, as divine Helios shines above and Okeanos’ daughters bring fresh water to the crops. Paganism is also more commonly accepted—I find that farmers find out that I am pagan and tell me to do rituals for their crops instead of reacting poorly. Or they’re pagan themselves; a farmer I know turned out to be Wiccan and uses the wheel of the year to keep track of production. 

Incorporating these divinities—or concepts surrounding them—into our crafts and altars is the spiritual step towards better agriculture. Holy Demeter continues to guide me, even before I knew it. 

WANT CHANGE? DO IT YOURSELF! 

If you want change in the world, you have to act. And if you wish for better agriculture, there is always the chance to do it yourself. Sustainable agriculture is often far more accessible than people think: like witchcraft and divination, it is a practice. Homesteading is often appealing to many of us, including myself, and there are plenty of resources to begin. There are even grants to help one improve their home to be more sustainable, i.e. solar panels. Gardening is another, smaller option. Many of us find that plants we grow and nourish are far more potentant in craft, and more receptive to magical workings. 

Caring for plants is fundamental to our natures and there are a thousand ways to delve into it. I personally have joined conservation groups, my local soil conservation group, work with the NRCs in the USA, and more. The path to fully reconnecting to nature and agriculture is personal—united in a common cause to fight for this beautiful world. To immerse yourself in sustainable agriculture, I honestly recommend researching and finding your own path. Mine lies in soil and rot, grapevines and fruit trees. Others do vegetables and cereal grains, or perhaps join unions and legislators. Everyone has a share in the beauty of life, our lives stemming from the land’s gentle sprouts. 

Questions and or help may be given through my ask box on tumblr���if there is a way I can help, let me know. My knowledge is invaluable I believe, as I continue to learn and grow in the grey-clothed arms of Demeter, Dionysos, and Kore. 

FURTHER READING:

Baszile, N. (2021). We are each other’s harvest. HarperCollins.

Hatley, J. (2016). Robin Wall Kimmerer. Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous wisdom, scientific knowledge and the teachings of plants. Environmental Philosophy, 13(1), 143–145. https://doi.org/10.5840/envirophil201613137

Regenerative Agriculture 101. (2021, November 29). https://www.nrdc.org/stories/regenerative-agriculture-101#what-is

And in truth, far more than I could count. 

References

Community Supported Agriculture | National Agricultural Library. (n.d.). https://www.nal.usda.gov/farms-and-agricultural-production-systems/community-supported-agriculture

Navazio, J. (2012). The Organic seed Grower: A Farmer’s Guide to Vegetable Seed Production. Chelsea Green Publishing.

Plaster, E. (2008). Soil Science and Management. Cengage Learning.

Sheaffer, C. C., & Moncada, K. M. (2012). Introduction to agronomy: food, crops, and environment. Cengage Learning.

Sheldrake, M. (2020). Entangled life: How Fungi Make Our Worlds, Change Our Minds & Shape Our Futures. Random House.

Sustainable Agriculture | National Agricultural Library. (n.d.). https://www.nal.usda.gov/farms-and-agricultural-production-systems/sustainable-agriculture

[kaeso4ka]

Three times Optimus suggests you merge Souls. You refuse three times

Pairing: yandere Optimus Prime x reader

Life in the Cybertronian hull was indeed different, as was trying to adapt to her new surroundings. Optimus was constantly pacing around to monitor your condition; though a daily report to Ratchet made more sense than Optimus' shadow behind you.

He remained silent and didn't bring up any topics that touched on their relationship. It did surprise, especially his caring demeanor with subtle hints, but it didn't go any further than that for Prime.

You were rarely in the bibliarium, finding some information there to counterattack Optimus if he got useful, but there wasn't much about that. Only praise for the Primes themselves and their backstory.

“There's too little information,” you say again, finding yourself at the racks of datapads. Optimus was nearby.

The tall mech pulls a datapad from the topmost shelf with little information, but important nonetheless. For him.

“The Most Failed Project to Generate New Sparks”? You hesitate, but you read the introduction. “Spark fusion? Really, Optimus?”

“Let's merge Sparks now, shall we?”

Optimus leans in so close that your antenna starts twitching, too annoying. You press the self-interested datapad against the mech's chest and back away from the peculiar trap.

“No.”

Optimus is disappointed by this response.

***

The next time he brings it up occurs during the energon absorption. The nearly empty cube is left in your hands as Optimus looms over you out of old habit.

“Let's merge Sparks now, shall we?”

Lunch has been ruined. You rest the cube against Optimus's glass so that he is forced to grab the precious food.

“No.”

And that disappoints Optimus again.

***

The next time you can't say no to him is sex. Optimus shivered at the mere sight of you in the Cybertronian body, whose hull flexed from his touch, optics flashing due to systems overload. You belonged completely to Prime, whether you wanted to or not, everything had already been preordained long ago by Primus himself.

Before leaving dents in your fragile body from pleasure, Optimus descends to your face.

“Are we going to merge Sparkles now?”

His lips were so close to your lips. One kiss would decide everything, especially when you said yes. Your optics light up again, you've heard everything, so you have to answer...

“What? No.”

And that disappoints Optimus for the third time.

[amuseoffyre]

Got pondering today on the baseline for Ed's experience and life up until he arrives at the Revenge, based on the various fragments of backstory and implicit history that are scattered throughout both seasons.

"we're just not those kind of people"

recurring violence - his mum's black eye and the kraken flashback, which carries over into Ed's instinct to recoil from anyone touching/coming near his face (except Stede)

"Remember how he stabbed us?" "He treated us like dogs. Like worse than dogs" - introduction to a world beyond his family and it's even worse and relentless

"his name was Felix and he was a really nice guy" - his peers being killed slowly and painfully as punishment in front of him

"It's poison!" / "I got the gift you left me, in my glass" - not even food or drink were safe

"that's what you fucking get" - a system of anticipated and constant violence

"cutting off a bloke's toes and feeding them to him for a laugh", "love a good maim" - inured to doing violence to others without question

"I don't wanna go back to the old days, drinking all the time" esp. after Jack's condescending "I didn't know I had an audience with the fucking pope" when he tries to refuse rum - twice, Ed comments on two of his friends about their drinking and twice, he gets scoffed at and then takes a drink from their bottles himself

"I was gonna kill him and burn his face off" - Anne and Mary (his peers from his youth) nodding in agreement that this is normal

"Run me through" / "Whip my balls!" / "Six inches of steel right in you" - violence and brutality as foreplay (And ohhh this puts a whole new light onto his extended freak out about Stede and him sleeping together straight after the Ned Low incident)

Knife Parade - finding it silly and funny and utterly unaware that he was terrorising people because he'd grown up surrounded by that kind of behaviour with Jack, Mary and Anne.

"Didn't apologise for shit" - no apologies, no admitting mistakes, no awareness of doing something wrong (and once he realises, he promptly apologises to Fang and then, awkwardly, stiltedly to Izzy the next episode)

"Your friends are very troubled" / "Yeah. Well, they're pirates" - the self-awareness there that this isn't a normal, healthy way of behaving

No wonder having a glimpse of something different with nice clothes and good food and marmalade and well-meaning friendship opens a door he never knew was even an option 😭

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hey hey it's welcome home!

May or may not be doing this cause its a description of one of my ocs, but uuuh- Wally, Poppy and Frank with a 'reader' who is basically Robbie Rotten from Lazytown, just an obligatory 'villain' who lives to cause trouble and come up with 'schemes' for the rest of the cast to deal with even though... Uh... They would also completely bail out on whatever they had planned if they got sick because they don't wanna spread it to anyone else shfjsjfhd

Wally

In the show, you're basically the villain character who has a knack for causing many of the plights/perils in each episode.

Like you could be out to sabotage Sally's plays, ruin Wally's pompadour, take a wrecking ball to Home, etc.

Your home has an underground lair with a bunch of high-tech inventions that help you carry out these "evil deeds".

Oh, and you absolutely have a villain song, too.

You can even "hijack" Wally's introductions and proclaim to the viewers that you're gonna take over the neighborhood by the end of the day.

In some episodes, you'd kidnap him and keep him hostage--only for the rest of the neighbors to come to the rescue.

It's a game that you seemingly always lose, but you find it fun!

Yet even as a villain, you have standards.

For instance, Wally was expecting you to show up and interrupt his painting session...but he sees you off in the distance going to the pharmacy with a mask on and wonders what you're up to.

It turns out you got the flu, so you wanted to forego whatever scheme you plotted until you felt better.

"You won't try...spreading your sickness to us?" He tilts his head, confused.

"....I'm a villain, Darling." You huff in a tired, stuffy voice (yes, you refer to everyone by their last name). "Not a monster."

Poppy

As the main "villain" of the show, sometimes you'll pick on Poppy for being a "big scaredy chicken" and thwart her cooking attempts.

You might discreetly add something to her food that makes it taste yucky, or remotely crank the oven 100 degrees extra so her pie turns to charcoal.

Of all the cast, she's the most intimidated by you. The others usually come to her defense.

However, one day you visit her barn, and while she freaks out at first...she notices you look rather exhausted and sickly (not to mention keeping your distance), and her motherly side still manages to come out.

"O-Oh, are you okay, dearest? You don't look well.."

"...I caught a cold. Do you..have any tea?" You ask softly.

Of course, she can't say no and turn you away. So she makes you some hot tea, which you sincerely thank her for, and you two chat for some time before heading back home without incident.

Since then, your schemes against her became just casual teasing and stealing a few of her ingredients.

Maybe you're not so bad after all, she thinks.

Frank

You like targeting Frank solely because your antics make him furious.

He acts like you don't bother him..but when you make a giant butterfly-catching contraption and abduct all the butterflies from the park? He'll be seething red and demand you to release them.

Or if you release a swarm of bees/wasps/hornets when he's trying to have a nice picnic with his fellow neighbors? He'll be shouting at you as he runs the other way.

You just grin, finding delight in pissing him off at every opportunity.

However, one day you catch a cold and decide to put a pause on your evil schemes, opting to sleep in and leave your neighbors alone.

Yet that day so-happens to be the day that Frank plans to give you an earful about your behavior, as he marches over to your house to confront you.

But since it's locked behind a high-tech security gate, the system asks him for the entry password and he keeps getting it wrong.

In the end he storms back home, but that's where you call him and explain you were sick and didn't want him getting infected.

You do admit that seeing him shouting random words at your security system made you laugh the sickness out of you, so you felt much better now--and you thank him for that.

He just grumbles a "you're welcome" and hangs up.

[critlore]

WE'RE LIVE!!!

Run, don't walk (or the internet equivalent) to Kickstarter and back us now for early bird prices and first chance at limited rewards, including:

* Play with the writers

* Be in the book (kinda)

* Unique, in-game content for YOU, YOU, YOU!

"Urban legends" is another way to say “our deepest fears given form.” Stranger danger, government conspiracies, contaminated food, anything beyond human control — they’re modern myths to make sense of modern anxieties.

And, OK, sometimes they’re just about owl men. We can’t explain that one.

The best urban legends are shocking, gross, just about plausible, or all of the above. Those are the sweet spots we’re aiming at with these scenarios.

We’re letting our freak flag fly with Do Not Adjust Your Set, but that doesn’t mean we’re going completely off the rails. The book will include guidance on playing safely, a full set of content warnings for each scenario, and some general tips on running horror scenarios. We’re also committed to making these scenarios surprising, creepy, occasionally screwed up, but not bigoted or hateful.

Do Not Adjust Your Set will be a softcover, A5 book. We think it’ll run to about 100 pages, but stretch goals could make it bigger than that. It will include:

An introduction and advice on playing safely

How to prep and run a system-neutral scenario

Six scenarios, each good for 1-2 sessions of play (possibly more, depending on your players)

Full-colour art for each scenario by Lore Evans and Madeleine Ember

The Kickstarter is live until 28th November, but we have early bird prices and limited reward tiers, so back now!

[talonabraxas]

Aurveda Talon Abraxas

The Five Elements of Ayurveda - Ether, Air, Fire, Water & Earth

The Five Elements

Aurveda's core view is the connection between the macrocosm and the microcosm, from the universal to the individual, meaning what cxists outside also exists within us. The five great elements (pancha mahabhuta) that compose the world around us also make up our inner world. These elements-space, air, fire, water, earth-form the building blocks of life and mirror the basic principles in physics of space, energy, transformation, liquid, and matter. Each element is connected to a subtle energy, a tanmatra, that is associated with our senses--sound, touch, vision, taste, and smell.

Let's explore how the elements form our physical body.

Ether/Space (Akasha)

Ether or space, akasha, is the first and subtlest of all the elements. Ether is the space in which everything exists. It is universal, nonmoving, and formless. Its qualities are clear, light, subtle, soft, and immeasurable. This clement is related to the actions of expansion and vibration. The tanmatra of space is sound (shabda), and the ear is the Sensory organ that perceives sound.

Air (Vayu)

The air element, vayu, is the energy of movement. It initiates and directs motion. Its qualities are mobile, dry, light, cold, rough, and subtle. The tanmatra of air is touch (sparsha), and the sensory organ is skin, which helps detect movement. In the body, air expresses itself in the movement of the muscles, lungs, heart, and impulses of the nervous system. Its responsible for breathing, ingestion and elimination, and the flow of thought. Prana is the basic principle of the air element, the vital life force that is primarily taken in through breath and which life cannot exist without.

Fire (Agni)

The fire element, agni, is the energy of transformation. The qualities of fire are hot, sharp, light, dry, and subtle. The tanmatra of fire is vision (rupa), and the eyes are the sensory organ responsible for sight. The fire element governs all metabolic processes, aiding in the digestion of food, transformation of thoughts, and perception of light. Tejas is the subtle essence of fire, the burning flame of pure intelligence that pro-cesses all perception into knowledge.

Water (Apas)

From subtle to gross, the next element is water, called apas. Its main actions are cohesion and adhesion. Its qualities are cool, liquid, dull, soft, oily, and slimy. The tanmatra of water is taste (rasa). The tongue is the sensory organ that plays a large role in our experience of eating and our sense of satisfaction. Water lives in the body as plasma, saliva, mucous, cerebrospinal fuid, urine, and sweat. Ojas is the subtle essence of water, giving vitality and immunity to the bodily tissues.

Earth (Prithvi)

The earth element, prithvi, is the densest of all. It creates shape and structure. It is heavy, dull, dense, hard, and gross. The tanmatra of earth is smell (gandba), and the sensory organ is the nose. The earth element shapes all the body's solid structures and tissues, including the bones, cartilage, nails, teeth, hair, and skin.

Incorporating Ayurvedic principles into massage therapy goes beyond mere relaxation; it offers a holistic approach to harmonizing the mind, body, and spirit, promoting overall well-being. By addressing the elemental balance specific to an individual's constitution, we can tailor massages to effectively target stress and tension, ultimately leading to a more relaxed and grounded nervous system.

[spoiled-fawn]

Part 1: Meeting John Price

Western AU; Mail Order Spouse Trope

WC: 3,131 CW: None

AN: My beloved! John Price! Would love to hear your thoughts and comments, as well as any questions. I hope ye enjoy <3

Please see the following for the explanation and precursors to the scene!

Introduction, Biography

--------

Truthfully, you’re glad you didn't have many friends in town, as it meant no one to share unnecessary secrets with, nor did it spread any word of what you were up to in your free time. 

However, that isn’t to say that you trusted at least some people in the small town you lived in, such as your boss.

A scapegoat for you to write your correspondence letters was that you simply had to stay late on the farm, working extra long hours because of something that was messed up, or because you knew your parents wouldn’t argue with the fact that you were getting more money.

Feeling that you were a decent enough candidate for John to consider since you are working as a farm hand already, you decided to write your first correspondence the next day. Once sent, you received a letter back from him four days later and by god, did he sound like such a gentleman. 

You were able to soon confide in him on how you wanted to leave town, start fresh, but stick with what you know since you did work on the well-known “Loyal Laswell Farm,” and help out around their farmhouse with common jobs such as sewing, cooking, and even making a dirty barn looked organized- a man’s dream spouse.

With only two weeks passing and less than a handful of letters to be traded, you already had money and an open invitation to John’s ranch. Through your correspondence, John stated that he had already known of Kate Laswell, her having been a long ago buyer from him and even she had sought out advice on taking care of her lambs long ago. 

John connected the dots and realized that you were the trusty youngling that she hired early on; He already trusted your morale if Laswell had kept you after all this time. (And if Laswell did gloat about you once in a while, that was a secret between her and John.) After finding out about the mutual connection, you confided in her. 

Kate, already knowing of your family’s vices, was pleasantly surprised by your major turn of life events and how quickly your fate had been granted to you in the form of Price. She made sure your head was screwed on straight enough that if it didn’t work out, you could mail her and she would help you figure it out from there…

Kate’s wife chimed in and said you and Price would be a great fit.

The two women gave their aid to you in the form of gifting you your favorite horse to ride off on during your long journey. You only brought a handful of items from your parent's house, slowly, and used the remaining amounts of wardrobe you kept at the farm to pack up. With two bags packed and some food, feed, a gun being courtesy of Laswell’s wife, and a celebratory pack of cigars for John (Kate’s wedding gift), you were on your way. 

It only took you a week by horseback, luckily traveling near the Oregon Trail that had already had sorted paths cleared and lived-in, you only needed to stop when you and your horse did. You were able to send John updated letters, but were not able to receive them due to constantly being on the move. This left you daydreaming about him.

John wrote that he is originally from Deadwood, South Dakota. He comes from a long line of lawmen and followed in their footsteps in his early adult life. However, as John became sheriff and notorious for his hardened but fair demeanor, he began to see the justice system slip through the cracks right in front of him. Murderers would walk away and many left unjustly prosecuted in other cases. It angered and dwelled on him so much that he retired early on. John soon found his solace in the quiet mountain town of Pitkin, Colorado. John describes himself as a proud man who is protective and respectful, an old soul who loves his whiskey - and is looking for his strawberry wine. He is a weathered man who can fix any problems of yours, all at the cost of a shoulder to lean on and someone to spend the rest of his days with.

Coming into Pitkin, it brings forth a small town nestled within luscious green mountains and a strip of shops down the main road that highlights most of the town's activity. Riding through, you were an obvious sight to be had; a new face set out on a horse with minimal bags packed on the back. You didn’t seem like a traveler, no, you seemed like someone who was on a mission to find something- someone. 

Smiling and giving small nods towards those who stare, your cheeks have a faint blush from the attention as you ride down the strip and toward the end of the town. Soon, the signs have a label of a bull, a common connotation of a ranch, causing you to garner up a bit more hope and hold your head high as you click your horse into a canter. 

The sound of your horse's hooves thundering on the ground cannot beat the thrum of your heart; riding over the hill, you’re greeted with a breathtaking view of the Alpine mountains that dip into a valley with an absurd amount of leveled planes that make you believe the land was spread flat by an inviting entity. Your eyes come into focus on small black dots that move before you make out to be the shape of cattle grazing across the green and flowing grass.

There sits a house atop the hill that is before the dip of the valley, where a fence surrounds a large barn that is directly adjacent to the house. You bring your horse to a slow walk as you take in the view of the wooden house; it's a cabin-styled home but large in the additions that have been formed around the sides, making it one of the bigger houses in town. The barn rivals its size by double, and the open stalls along the side let you glimpse into the hay-filled homes of horses that linger near the fences. You have to do a double take when you see movement in the barn that is all too human-like, then pulling the reigns of your horse once a few feet away from the entrance to stop and watch. 

A man stands, low grunts leaving him as he stretches his back before grabbing a hay bayle and beginning to break it up. He wears a worn-out pair of jeans and a cowboy hat as his low whistling breaks the silence between the surrounding horses neighing at your new appearance. In an instant, you know immediately this is John.

To your surprise, your horse greets the others in a sharp jeer of noise, causing him to turn around in surprise his eyes dart up at you.

For a second, you’re humored at the look he gives, not expecting something so sweet as you to ride into his ranch and most likely expecting someone within the town to come to bother him. 

But in an instant, he knows exactly who you are. 

After his shock wears off, he sets down the hay and reaches up to take his cowboy hat off and place it on his chest as he walks toward you. Letting out a low whistle, his eyes roam over you with an enamored stare. “God was just showin’ off when he made you, sweetheart.” Comes the low timbre of his voice, sending a small fire of desire shimmying through your vertebrae. 

A soft smile graces your face in return, halting your horse for the time being as he comes up to you. “Good morning sir, would I be right to assume that you are John Price, the owner of this ranch?” You ask after a moment of your eyes trailing over him, taking in his face and ice-blue eyes while he approaches to help you down from your horse.

“That I am, Sweetheart. And I suppose you’re the one that I’ve been lookin’ so forward to meetin’, that right?” He asks in return, a small smirk taking his lips while he helps you lower down from the saddle. You smile at the extended hand, taking it as you swing your opposite leg out of the stirrup while feeling the touch of his other hand coming to caress your hip in a gentle fashion.

"I hope you've been as comfortable as one can be on a week-long ride," John comments softly, keeping his hand on you once you're firmly planted on the ground as his eyes scan you from head to toe. "How you feelin’?" He asks sweetly, now finding your eyes with genuine affection in his tone.

In response to his lingering touch on your hip, and feeling it travel to your waist with a brief squeeze before he lets it fall, you give him a small squeeze of the hand you're holding to. “Not too shabby; was able to get a room a few of the nights along the way. I’m thankful for the good weather I had while getting here.” You respond as you shift your saddle-sore hips for a moment and reorient your limbs to standing. 

"You're not so shabby yourself, sweet thing'." He compliments softly as he releases you, then grabs your horse’s bridle and releases the bit before attaching his own lead to it, and a small feeling of surprise crosses your mind at how easily he handles new horses. Then, gesturing for you to follow him. "Come on. Let me show you around." John leads with comfortable confidence, letting your horse sniff him while leading him to an open stall with some water and feed. 

“Thank you for letting me bring my stallion here, Laswell gifted him to me when I was sayin’ goodbye. Said you may remember him from when he was a foal?” You prompt with a tilt of curiosity at the edge of your words while you join them in the stall to unload your bags and take the saddle off.

Looking back towards him, his eyes are looking over the horse for any identifiers, hints that would make him remember. “Not quite sure I remember this one, sweetheart. He got a name?” John asks in response once finished doing a sweepdown of his mane and a quick swipe of his hair coat.

“Laswell said he’s always been named Captain.” You answer curtly, now looking to see his reaction, if any.

It takes a moment for you to narrow in on the way the left side of his mustache twitches slightly before he breaks out into an all-out smile. “Well, I’ll be damned…” John trails out as he moves back towards Captain's head.

His blue eyes shine in the light of the barn windows, meeting yours for a moment while a boyish charm takes over his face. “This slick bastard got you all the way over to me?” John speaks with a gruffness that intertwines with amusement; the way his hands move to rub over the horse's forehead and nose showcases a glimpse of a gentle side reserved for his animals.

As you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion, John catches your expression and gives a hearty chuckle in response. “I helped birth this one the day that Kate came up here to buy some lambs. Her wife was cryin’, thinking that him and his momma were gonna die.” He answers before moving to give Captain a pat on his chest, a huff of his breath coming out in response. 

“He had both him’s front legs back during contractions. Had to help the mare by pushing his fat head on in to get him to readjust. Kate and her wife saw the whole thing.” He finishes with a hum and a distant look in his eyes only for a second, now coming back to your side and picking up a bag of yours.

“This all you got? Woulda expected a bit more from a woman movin' out west, especially to the cold mountains.” He states with a cocked eyebrow, eyeing as you bend down to hoist the remaining bag over your shoulder. You both give Captain a farewell tap before exiting the stall and heading towards Johns's house.

You wait on replying for a moment as you take a longer look at the structure, noting the wooden panels that exude a warm and weathered patina, a testament to the house's endurance against the harsh elements of the wild. The front features a symmetrical facade, with a steeply pitched gable roof that displays a combination of wooden shingles and iron accents. Windows are evenly placed on the front-facing sides of the house, and shutters open to allow glimpses into the inside.

“Didn’t have a lot to bring if I’m being honest. Just packed up what I liked and wanted, then left.” You answer with a confident nod, leaving it at that. “I did plan on finding some new or old fabrics to start making winter coats for myself.” You add on quickly, thinking over how quickly the chill must set in within the mountain valley.

You follow John onto the front porch of the house, “Ah, you do some of that fancy work or just plain work?” He inquires while gesturing for you to step inside the entrance. You’re greeted by a spacious entryway, designed to be practical and modest. The floors, made of polished wide planks, creak softly under the added weight of yourself next to John, a new soul to provide protection to in the house.

To the front of the entryway, is his living room, its centerpiece being a grand stone fireplace, providing warmth and comfort during the chilly evenings. Leather upholstered furniture invites warmth to the house, and you can see a good amount of hides used as a rug and even a throw blanket over the couch, while ornate coffee cans and some intricately shaped vases linger around the surfaces. 

The sound of your mouth opening and closing resonates in the silence of you two standing there before John shuts the door softly behind you and ultimately snaps you out of your daze. “Um, just some plain work. Never had the time or materials to work on some fancy clothes, would rather make things I know I’m gonna use.” You answer while moving to face adjacent to where he stands in front of the door.

His eyes track your own as your attention comes back to rest on him, a small smirk tugging on the edge of his mouth. With a quick laugh, he moves to place his left hand along your back, his cold fingers sliding to the place between your shoulders. “Welcome home, Sweetheart.” He smiles while speaking softly, leaning over to place a light kiss atop your head. 

When he moves back from your space, which you want to ultimately follow as you feel his warmth radiate next to you and already adore the way his voice dips impossibly lower when speaking so gently, his hand slides down to the small of your back and gives a small tap to lead you forward. “Come on, let's get you settled in.” He beckons you while walking to a door that is adjacent to the entrance.

Walking in, John’s bedroom exudes a haven, signifying his rest and relaxation at the end of the day. The warm, earthy tones of the wood and furniture create an internal warmth, in contrast to the view of the surrounding mountains of green and glimpse over the cattle that wander the land, the windows laden with lace curtains.

The bed was the average size for the master bedroom; The double bed sat its headboard against the wall to the right of the entrance, facing the windows. A large red quilt adorns the bed while the bed itself is a robust wooden frame with upright pieces of carved and sanded wood posted taller at each corner of the bed.

In the corner is another stone fireplace, where an armchair sits to serve as a place for John to unwind, read a book, or reflect on the day. A well-worn wooden dresser stands against one wall, its surface adorned with a few cherished mementos - a faded photograph of him on a horse, a weathered pocket watch that has seen countless sunsets, and a small collection of polished rocks, each one possibly a reminder of a special moment.

"It's not much." He pauses before speaking again, his tone becoming more personal. "And I'd love to have you share my bed when you're comfortable. However, if you need time to adjust, I can set myself up in the living room. I don't wish to pressure you if you're not comfortable yet."

The sweet and respectful offer doesn’t fly over you, and a small smile rises over your lips. “Thank you, John. That’s awfully considerate of everything you’re doing for me. I don’t want to burden you with sleeping on your own couch, I wouldn't mind.” You answer while slowly walking to the dresser, placing your bag down by the foot of it.

“It may take a few days to adjust and get to know you, but-” you take a second to turn around and look at his form with a small shy smile, “I don’t think I’ll keep you waiting long.” You finish as a soft blush rises to the apples of your cheeks. Your hands come to interlace together in the front of your lap as his heavy footsteps make their way towards you with a bright smile that borders a smirk.

He stops in front of you, holding eye contact as he places your other bag down. “Ain’t no way in hell I’d be letting you sleep on the couch, sweetheart. But, I do look forward to hearing your answer. When you’re ready for it.” He speaks in a gruff voice, eyebrows raised to make sure you're taking his answer to heart and understanding, his warm hands moving to enclose both of yours within his grasp.

Bringing your hands up to his lips, you watch with rapt attention at his mouth puckering and in turn, making his facial hair move in the action, then leaving a warm and gentle kiss on the back of each hand.

His eyes don’t stray from yours while doing so, his blue eyes bring an inviting wave of ice- the kind you actively seek when you’re feeling too hot or need to wake up. “Now, how about I show you the rest of the ranch, babydoll?” He asks with a soft grin, pulling you just a fraction closer by the grip of your hands.

[paledoptera]

SHADOWFELL SAGA CONTENT ARCHIVE (POST 2/2)

welcome back to the shadowfell content archive!

this is going to be the second (and hopefully last) post! keep in mind the "parts" are going to be a lot more brief than the first post, the early game was pretty fleshed out but the rest was pretty much just vague ideas.

in addition to content that would have eventually come out, i'm also gonna be showing off a couple of early drafts and ideas that got cut!!!

SO:

INTERMISSION: BATTLE TIME!!!

so this was the original draft shiiv sent me for "smackdown". for the two tracks they contributed to the game (smackdown & pasta la vista, which you can hear in the last content archive post) they basically made a full song with temporary instrumentation, then i went back and remade the song with more toby fox-y instrumentation. they are FANTASTIC at music writing and i actually kinda love this original version of smackdown, it has some unique charm in how bitcrushed it is

i don't really have much to comment about the battle system, but i'll quickly run through how it would've worked:

basically, it'd be the mario & luigi battle system but with a few small changes.

solo attacks would be weak attacks that cost little BP (bone power)

bros attacks would be strong attacks that cost lots of BP

you can skip your turn and regain BP by using a "pass" action command. this would be the main way to recover BP

i think one flaw in mario & luigi is that BP being a somewhat limited resource kind of force you to use solo (jump/hammer) moves rather than your COOL and hard to master bros moves. i feel like BP being an UNlimited resource would kind of remedy that

here are some ideas we had for bros attacks

(in bone blast, papyrus' gaster blaster would have been FRANK from papyrus belief <3)

yaboinando made this amazing concept for an attack based off of an old "dark darker yet darker" fan animation

last thing i have to say about the battle system: we actually had another form of "bros move" planned out. the whole game is food themed, so i figured it was only natural that a cooking move would be in the game!

PART 4: MOUNT CERAMIA

this area's name actually hovered between "mount ceramic" and "mount ceramia" for a while. i ended up choosing ceramia cuz i thought it sounded more mountain-y the theme is pretty unfinished, but i really like how it sounds anyways. i wanted to establish "our maiden voyage" as the overarching "area theme" for the whole game, but i thought a more percussive and tribal-sounding version of it would be cool for the mountain area

mount ceramia is a giant mountain made of plates and mugs. who would've thought!! i wanted to make a joke about "tectonic plates" here. i liked the section in superstar saga where you climb a giant mountain, which is prob the biggest inspiration of this area.

early on in the area, you meet IMPACT, a skeleton oc with a giant bone club

he was mostly a joke character, but i liked him. he was kinda like a big dumb caveman-y guy. funnily enough, i never envisioned him as a boss or villain. he was always going to be an ally.

(i didn't make it very far in the writing process of his theme song!!)

i can't be bothered to make a whole google doc for his short introduction script, so i'll just copy-paste it to here. (his text was going to be comedically large)

Impact: IMPACT!!! Impact: I AM IMPACT Impact: THE ONE WHO BONKS Papyrus: HELLO IMPACT! IT'S NICE TO- Impact: IMPACT PLAGUED BY Impact: TERRIBLE EGGPLANTS Impact: THEY HARD LIKE ROCKS Impact: AND RUIN MY GARDEN Papyrus: AH, A SKELETON IN DISTRESS! Papyrus: NO MATTER, THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS HERE TO HELP! (papyrus materializes a bone in his hand) Papyrus: I'LL SMASH THESE EGGPLANTS VALIANTLY LIKE- (papyrus swings his bone at the eggplant, it bounces off. he keeps trying) Papyrus: …LIKE SO!! Papyrus: LIKE SO!!! (the bone he's holding cracks) sans: you're cracking me up. Papyrus: SHUT IT SANS! Impact: YOU ARE BABBY BONES. Impact: WEAK LIKE TWIG! Impact: NEED MORE CALCIUM Impact: VITAMINS ARE GOOD. (impact tosses a heavy bone club at papyrus) Impact: THESE ARE REAL BONES. Impact: BONE CLUBS. Impact: IMPACT MADE THEM MYSELF. Impact: THESE ARE REAL BONKABLE. Impact: HELP ME BONK THE EGGPLANTS Impact: AND THEY ARE YOURS. the bone clubs would have basically been this game's replacement for the hammers in m&l. i liked the idea of papyrus and sans just hitting shit with comedically large bones like cavemen

this area was very egg-centric for some reason. i think it's because i got the whole "smashing-plates" thing into my head and wanted to smash other stuff.

PART 5: CARRION ISLES

in earlier versions of the game, the brightwater floats were actually called the carrion isles. i thought that name was too grim for such a brightly colored area though, so i pushed it forward!!!

i don't have any concept art for carrion, but i'd picture it as a collection of super stormy scary piers with constant thunder and scary intense music. it'd have that core-thing going where it'd have really intense area music that keeps playing in the battles.

(enemy designs by the fantastic yaboinando!)

this area was very fuzzy in my head. i wasn't really sure what to do with it, but i wanted some kind of semi sheriff minigame or battle at the end of this. the basic idea i had was that there'd be a "pirate king" and that semi would ally with them, maybe there'd be some kind of silly cannon battle between you on ferryperson's (now repaired) ship and them. another idea i had was that the "pirate king" could have been undyne, who fell into the dark world way after sans and papyrus did. they'd initially be allied with semi, but as soon as she sees her "enemies" are sans and papyrus she jumps ship and joins you on your adventure. i'm not sure how that would work with the rest of the game though!!!

one thing for certain is that after the silly battle, there'd be a big intense betrayal scene where ferryperson fights you. i SWEAR i had some concept art of this but i can't find this. it'd have ferryperson on a giant wave while papyrus and sans are floating on the collapsed remains of their boat though. kinda like this.

this theme was somewhat inspired by alphys takes action, funnily enough. i like how it sounds, though it is very unfinished

(edit) FOUND IT!!!!

this is VERY very early concept art, back when the game had more of an undertale-y UI. originally sans was actually going to be the only one in this battle since papyrus was held hostage, it'd be the thing to push him into finally fighting properly

PART 6: STEEL CALDERA & ZARELLA RESORT

quick warning!!! everything beyond this point is very fuzzy. we had NONE of this solidly planned out

this is the closest thing we have to a theme for steel caldera. it would've been a magma-y volcano area! originally this area was actually called "steamworks" and was a purple-pinkish retro-futuristic city, but undertale yellow came out and i thought it'd look like a ripoff so i trashed that idea lol

in the original script, caldera was also called "mt zarella" but i thought that sounded lame

i had a brief idea for a skeleton in undyne's knight armor called "ROMAN OF STEEL" who was gonna be the main villain for this arc, sort of a big egotistical tough-guy character.

zarella resort was gonna be the part-2 to this area, a fancy italian resort next to the volcano with heavy mafia connections.

r.v pine made some fantastic designs for the cheese mafia that i still LOVE

there was gonna be a meta joke in the resort where papyrus & sans expect to get firehand and thunderhand, but the ancient sites that those powers come from were knocked down and turned into a tourist attraction. some mafia employee goes "I'm sorry, but hand powers have been privatized."

the arc ends with papyrus getting a neverending bottle of hot sauce that he just kind of carries around and uses as a "fire" attack

INTERMISSION: MID-GAME SEMI FIGHT

early on i envisioned some kind of semi-emotional moment where sans and papyrus meet another skeleton with this big western wagon, then they sit by a campfire and talk, then go to sleep. when they wake up, semi sheriff is chasing them with his own wagon, and there'd be this massive battle. i swear i have concept art of this too but i ACTUALLY can't find it this time

PART 7: CAPRESE JUNGLE

this was a very weird area. it was gonna be a jungle based on salad i swear everything i came up with for this area came from some schizo hallucination because i don't remember coming up with any of this.

here are some iterations this strange area went through:

the area was ruled by a fancy skeleton with a fancy feathered hat called "Arial Noire". she spoke french and was a necromancer

the area was ruled by dinosaurs, like papyrus' dino egg oatmeal. there would be a part where semi tries to ambush you, but accidentally shoots a baby dino in its egg and then the baby dino gets pissed and fights papyrus and sans

the area was ruled by a flowey knockoff called "Peppermint".

PART 8: QUICK ROUNDUP OF OTHER AREAS

here are some other area ideas i had for the late-game:

sugarspice peaks, an area with cliffs and moths and stuff. i didn't actually put much thought into this area, i just wanted moths in the game. in the light world this would have been a cupboard

the badlands. this area would have started as a return to flavortown, that ends in a giant journey to catch the IMPASTA, the bandit who framed papyrus & sans and caused semi sheriff to hunt you down throughout the entire game. after you catch impasta, semi sheriff joins your party.

steampunk glacier, basically just the fridge in the light world. this would have been a heavy parallel to "joke's end" in superstar saga. i think paps & sans would have been seperated from semi sheriff (and possibly undyne) for the first half of this section, then they all meet back up near the end. sans also gets a shitty hand power, being a few cubes of dry ice that he just throws at people's eyes

PART 9: WATERFALL PALACE & FINAL BOSS

so, this is something that's oddly personal to me because the stupid, STUPID idea i had for the final boss was my entire motivation to create this game.

the waterfall palace area would be a standard area-before-final-boss-area. in the light world it would be the comedically tall kitchen sink.

at the top of the tower, there'd be a giant faucet with running water and the "dark lord", the overarching villain for this whole thing. you find the "dark lord" and fight him. a theme similar to "in the final" from bowser's inside story would play, but then the boss would be incredibly underwhelming. he'd die in like 3 hits... at which point he reveals he's not the ACTUAL dark lord, and he was just pretending to do so for status. he'd turn off the faucet... and then a giant door would reveal itself behind the great waterfall.

papyrus, sans and semi sheriff would walk through the door... and see a japanese temple.

and then, the ground rumbles.

the FINAL BOSS of this entire adventure would have been a GIGANTIC ANNOYING DOG WITH THREE HEADS. an ANNOYING CERBERUS if you will

you don't understand. the idea of this is so fucking hilarious to me. imagine going on this entire adventure just for the final boss to be an annoying dog joke. this is the first ever idea i thought of for this fucking fangame and i worked backwards from there and thought up EVERYTHING ELSE. JUST to fit the puzzle pieces together for this finale. i thought it would be so fucking funny to troll the players like this.

to bring the joke even further, in most mario & luigi games, you have to collect 8 pieces of some kind of ancient-mythical-powerful-artifact. in this game i decided on "ingredients for the legendary linguine", a bunch of seemingly magical ingredients that come together to make this uber powerful relic of a meal. there was gonna be this dramatic scene halfway through the cerberus fight where papyrus assembles the linguine, throws it at the boss and then NOTHING HAPPENS. a big point of the boss would also be that it'd think papyrus, sans & semi's attacks are just play-fighting, but once they deal enough damage then it'd get angry and just curbstomp them both and they'd seemingly be pretty much dead.

there would be this big power-of-friendship scene where sans, papyrus and semi revive, and then a giant three-headed gaster blaster dragon would be assembled from the bones of their attacks, and there'd be a bowsers-inside-story style giant battle where the megalo dragon finally defeats the annoying dog

and that, my friends, would be the ending of my half-shitpost game, because i think that would have been amazing and hilarious, but unfortunately that reality will never come to fruition.

thank you all for the support. since i posted the first half of this archive i saw a twitter thread posted about the game's cancellation. it's pretty humbling, and dare i say almost inspiring seeing how many people liked the concept so much and were saddened by its cancellation. i have a big problem with announcing projects too soon and then having to cancel them when i inevitably loose motivation, so to avoid this i'll probably be dead quiet on any future big projects until i can release SOMETHING to do with them, whether that's a demo or trailer or anything else. i hope to see you all in whatever project i start next!

SHADOWFELL SAGA ARCHIVE: PART 1 - PART 2

[silent-raven13]

I'm Hobie Brown and...

Every so often when a new group of Spider-heroes come in, some of the original Spider-heroes would introduce themselves. One who is always the loudest one to start off the controversy with Miguel O'Hara.

"This wanker had the whole Spider Society chasing after a fifteen year old boy about four or five years ago!" Hobie spoke to the new comers, "And he's still running this place."

"Wait, a 15 year old boy?" A new Spider-woman with a West African pattern designs around her suit asked being confused at the leader of the organization.

"Brown!" Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose, "How many times do I have to tell you to stop bringing that up?"

"Not until, this place goes down under, mate! We as a Spider-people shouldn't have to follow rules, and order!" The punker swing from one part of the office to another. "We are to break the system, not follow who does this and that!"

"Ohhh!" The young Spider-heroes awed, some even taking notes.

Miguel shake his head with his eyes widen, "Wait, wait, don't write that. What are you guys doing? Don't listen to him! Este pinche cabrón!" Already giving up from Hobie's annoying introduction.

Miles came into the office holding bags of lunch, while sipping his slushy. He didn't have his mask on, "Whoa, looks like he already got the new comers into him, huh tio?"

"Morales? What are you doing here?" Miguel looks over to find the nineteen year old standing by the platform.

"I brought lunch for Gwen and Pav!" Miles holds one of the bags up in the air. "Where are they?"

"Over here!" Gwen uses her web to get the bag and pulled up to the ceiling. Miguel and Miles looks over to find them sitting at one of the edges talking.

"When did you guys come in?" Miguel asked out loud, "This room isn't for hanging out! It's a place of business, to group and prepare for missions! Ay, DIOS ayúdame!"

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah! A place of "business"." Pav rolled his eyes under his mask with air quoting, "We get it, Miguel! This place is our new favorite spot, now!"

Gwen laughs along Pav, "Yeah, dude. We like the vibe here. Ohhh, they gave us extra Crab Rangoons!" She peaked in the bag to find extra items, "Yum! I was so craving for Chinese food!" The two walks over to one of the bulky vertical walls to sit and eat in peace.

"And I don't believe in ruthless dictatorships under this organization!" Hobie's voice rings their ears.

Miles could only laugh at his boyfriend's long rants against the hierarchy and government. Miguel placed his hands on his hips with his head down, "Miles go get your novio before I pop a blood vessel."

"Come on, tio. You know, he does this all the time. You should get use to it." He giggles hearing his boyfriend's voice, his lips part away from his plushie, "See, almost done."

"Morales." A warning from the Big Boss.

"Okay. Okay." Miles turns toward the group and said out loud, "Mi amor, I brought lunch!"

"And that's my cue to leave, mates! I hope you all learn about the conspiracies of this place!" Hobie got up on one of the tables and swing over to his boyfriend. "Hello, luv!" He took off his mask to give Miles a big kiss on the cheek, "You got our food."

"Yup, Indian today! I got the curry you like with some garlic naan." His boyfriend happily said.

Pav said, "It better be authentic Indian!"

"In this cafeteria? How?" Gwen snorted at him.

"Huh, true! Nevermind!" Pav shouted out loud.

Gwen leans over at Pav without her mask on, "Hey, you know what will be funny?"

"Ohh, what?" Her friend leans in to listen her whispers. "Ohhh, that's a good one!"

The wavy haired Spider-man spoke out, "Hey Hobie! Did you even started your intro? You forgot to mention you don't like the AM or the PM!"

"A la puta madre! NO! Don't you start, Brown!" Miguel was about to give his own explanation about their caused.

"I almost forgot." Hobie grins widely loving making Miguel pissed off.

"Bae, we're supposed to have lunch together." Miles pouts having to sway side to side to at least help his boss from his boyfriend's long rants.

"I will. Enjoy with Gwen and Pav, Sunflower!"

"Miles, come up here!" Gwen quickly said having her hand gesturing him to come up to where they are sitting.

Miles climbs up giving an apologetic look towards Miguel. The older Spider-man could only sigh from frustration. The nineteen year old Spider-man sat next to his blond friend, "What's up?"

"You know, how Hobie likes to claim he doesn't believe in a lot of stuff... so I got this idea." She giggles.

"Huh oh." Miles grins, "What kind of thing your pulling?"

"Nothing. I swear, this will be fun!" Gwen leans over to whisper in Miles' ears.

"Ohhh, I see." He smiles widely.

Hobie stood on a table beginning his intro, "I'm Hobie Brown, when I’m not playing shows, antagonizing fascists, staging unpermitted political action slash performing art pieces. OR, having a laugh at the pub with the mandem. I'm not a role model, I was briefly a runway model. I hate the AM, I hate the PM, I hate labels!" He kicks off some items on the tables only to piss off Miguel more. "I'm not a hero, because calling yourself a hero makes you a self-mythologizing narcissistic autocrat! Like this gentlemen over there!" He eyes on the leader of Spider Society.

"Pinche pendejo!" Miguel mutters lowly, saw the new-comers were writing everything down, "Don't write that down!"

"So you don't believe in labels?" A Spider-man asked wearing a tobe with his own Middle Eastern designs.

Another one with a nerdy voice spoke up wearing a futuristic Cyber-Punk Spiderman outfit, "Yeah, you hate all labels!"

"I. Hate. All. LABELS."

"Really!" Gwen spoke up out loud, "All labels, mate?"

"All, Gwendy!"

"Even if I say if this is a chopsticks?" She holds her chopsticks

"Yup!" Hobie said proudly, "I can say those are forks! I don't believe in none. None what's so ever."

"Not even if I say the sky is blue!" Pav asked out loud.

"I can say it's Red!" Hobie said as a matter of fact, "All about being chaotic. Keep stirring the pot." He wasn't aware of his boyfriend standing next to him with his hands behind his back being adorable.

"Even if there's a police caution tape?" Gwen asked out loud.

"I'll rip the bloody thing off! No one can tell me what to do! I am Hobie Brown!" Hobie spoke up, "Not gonna let a pig tell me what to do or say!"

The new Spider-heroe 'Ooohhhed' and 'Ahhhed' at him seeing how inspiring he is to be his own Spider-man. That's something they need to work on. "No, don't listen to him. He's only saying this to start trouble." Miguel began.

"But that's what a dictator would say." A new-comer Spider-man said slowly, they all were eyeing him.

"I like this lad's way of thinking." The punker chuckles lowly seeing how annoyed and mad Miguel looks. When he turns around to go to eat with his friends, he blinks in surprised to find his boyfriend next to him, "Luv, what are you doing down here?"

"Bae..." Miles's lips twisted into a wide smirk, "You said you hate all labels."

"Yes, luv. You know this."

"But," He cutely pouts with his bottom lip popping out a bit more, "that means you don't believe in us. So we're not in a relationship?" Having fake tears! "You think of us as nothing?"

The new-comers all went, "Ohhhh."

"No! No, luv! I never meant it that way." Hobie said out loud with worried going over to hug him.

"But-but..." Miles frowns, "That means you don't like it when I called you baby or mi amor?"

"No, I do! I believe in whatever YOU SAY, luv." Hobie said having to comfort his boyfriend.

"Really? So if I say the sky is Green?" Miles asked innocently.

"The sky is green!"

Miguel rolled his eyes, "Oh brother..." He thought to himself.

"And if I say we're in a relationship?"

"We are in a relationship, Sunflower!" Hobie picks up his boyfriend in bridal style, "Only my darling Sunflower words matter to me." He kisses Miles' cheek.

"So you do believe in labels?" One Spider-person said.

"Only what my Sunflower says! I'm Hobie Brown and I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend, Miles and the sky is green." He kisses his boyfriend on the lips. Miles giggles with that response while their friends laughs.

[chase-prairie]

I'm guessing that as a graduate student you have read a zillion and one documents and books and papers and things in your field. Would it be outrageous to ask for recommendations/your favorites? I'm really interested in learning more about the history of Native land use and food systems in the midwest (which I suppose is a very long history, I'd be happy learning about any time period), prairie ecology, and the current outlook for native plants and pollinators (and conservation recommendations). Even one recc for each would be amazing. Feel free to postpone this ask if you're too busy! P.S. can't wait to read your dissertation.

This is a big ask, and I get a lot of these types of asks! In the future it'd be nice if people were more specific about their interests and not asking about general, huge topics. There's a level that you can and should be googling yourself! Many academic papers are online for free through sites like academia.edu and I'm not a search engine!

General answer if you're interested in this range of topics is Robin Wall Kimmerer's Braiding Sweetgrass. She comes from the midwest and writes some on prairie and the book is all about Indigenous science stewardship.

Otherwise, the topics you're asking for don't have one single source that will tell you everything you're looking for. People make small studies of one community, one ecosystem, one plant. Whether it's ecology or ethnobotany, there's no one making compendiums of info, especially not in the midwest. That's why I do the work I do, but even what I do is imperfect. Be suspicious of anyone who/any text that claims to be comprehensive on a huge, complex subjects; they probably are bsing you.

Indigenous Land Mgmt:

Two good recent papers:

The subject of indigenous wild management is more intensely covered in California (M. Kat Anderson) and Vancouver (Nancy J. Turner). Those two authors are great for both nuts and bolts chat and philosophical perspectives about how people have lived in and altered and restored their ecosystems.

A compelling academic book on the subject is Roots of Our Renewal: Ethnobotany and Cherokee Environmental Governance by Clint Carroll, which is just as much about philosophy, knowledge production and protection and community building, as plants.

Prairie Conservation Practices:

Like I said above, currently published stuff is about very specific interactions and focuses, like a particular pollinator group in a particular plant. What you're looking for, a generalist summary of the field, doesn't really exist.

If you're looking for plant lists and how-tos Tallgrass Restoration Handbook or the Tallgrass Prairie Center Guide. Do not go for Ben Voigt. If you're looking for a general conceptual entry to Midwest conservation/restoration, there's Ecological Restoration in the Midwest

If you're looking for general recommendations for free, Xerces.org is the resource for bee-friendly landscaping and planting.

If you live near a University or Arboretum or Botanic Garden, this is the kind of thing where you should just browse the shelves near the books I've recommended! Chances are you have free access to the libraries, if not the ability to check the books out yourself!