#intracommunity transphobia

[ego-similis-testudines]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but TME/TMA discourse inherently divides the trans community down gender lines, erroneously pits trans men and transmascs against trans women and transfems, and serves only to sow seeds of discord in an already-divided trans and overarching LGBTQ+ community. It's called the trans community. Not the transmasc community. Not the transfem community. The trans community. That's it. Nothing else. We are on the same team in the fight for human rights, protections, and representation for ourselves and our fellow trans siblings. A house divided cannot stand and we will never get anywhere as a community if all we do is argue on Tumblr over who has it worse (which hinges on the argument that transmascs and trans men have any sort of privilege whatsoever by virtue of being ignored - invisibility is not a privilege, and it's certainly not male privilege) instead of fostering what community we have left before we eat each other alive over bullshit and don't have one anymore.

You cannot build nor foster community when you hate half of your community over online discourse that barely has any bearing on material reality whatsoever if you interact with people who are not chronically online and brainrotted by the cesspool of queer discourse. There is some level of truth to "People when you go outside: 'Hey man, how's it going?'"

Also for the love of G_d, stop sorting intersex people into the restrictive boxes of your new binary and ignoring them or calling them transmisogynists when they don't want to be affiliated with your particular brand of divisiveness.

[ego-similis-testudines]

I put transandrophobia-affected in my bio for this exact reason. I can play this game too.

I’m curious about how exactly people who defend TMA/TME think about this…

If TMA/TME are apparently so integral to transmisogyny discussions that criticizing the categorization at all gets people angry that you obviously don’t care enough about transmisogyny…

Should we be creating an affected/exempt binary for other axes of oppression? And if you say no should I assume you don’t actually care enough about those axes of oppression?

I mean, certainly misogyny applicable and exempt should make sense to people who like the use of TMA/TME, right? But how about racism? Ableism?

Oh and hey, how’s about having transandrophobia affected and transandrophpbia exempt?

Or is there something about transmisogyny specifically which you think requires sorting people into strict ‘affected’ versus ‘exempt’?

[rawstrap]

I've seen people say terf rhetoric is any hatred of men and I've seen people say terf rhetoric is anything transphobic said by anyone. the refusal to actually engage with the reality that terfism is primarily focused on oppressing trans women is in itself a form of transmisogyny. yes they hate all trans people, but it is quite easy to see who they primarily target with their words, actions and policies, you just don't want to care about trans women. claiming someone is a man hater doesn't mean you get to call them a terf or a radfem, thats an obvious, willfull dilution and denial of what terfs are.

[ryuuseirune]

i can't say i experience misogyny because that's "misgendering myself" and i can't say i experience anti-transmasculinity or transandrophobia because those terms are apparently offensive in some way. but i really think people just want trans men to stop complaining about their oppression so that they don't have to live with the fear that they're capable of hurting someone

[mathsbian]

Assuming makes an ass of you and me.

[leotheloaf]

Hi, y’all, in the coming years it is more important than EVER that we have a strong queer community.

What we ARENT gonna be doing, is forming separatist movements, or rekindling old ones, or dogpiling each other over who “gets the right to speak” about their own oppression. We ARENT gonna be throwing the most “unpalatable” queers under the bus to try to appeal to cis/het/allo people. We ARENT gonna be abandoning our trans and nonbinary siblings. We ARENT gonna be abandoning our intersex siblings, and we A R E going to be INCLUDING them in our activism. Respectability politics gets us nowhere. Infighting gets us nowhere. Separatism gets us NOWHERE. Shape tf up y’all

[ego-similis-testudines]

Users marked green on Shinigami Eyes:

Tumblr funnyperson dash simulator 😁

User marked as green on shinigami eyes 1: trans women keep making these obviously sexual jokes and then get surprised when they get called out for it

User marked as green on shinigami eyes 2: it's insane that some trans men have the courage to even imply they could ever possibly be in pain

User marked as green on shinigami eyes 3: yeah normal nonbinary people are "valid" or whatever but so many want to use pronouns I don't agree they should use

User marked as green on shinigami eyes 4: aromantic and asexual people should all kill themselves

[ego-similis-testudines]

The term "TMRA" (trans men's rights activist) in relation to trans men who recognize that transandrophobia exists both inside and outside of the trans community being used in a derisive way sure sounds a whole lot like the TERF usage of "TRA" in relation to anyone who supports trans rights in general. Who knows? Could mean nothing.

[intersexcat-tboy]

Calling people "afabs" is the "females" of the trans community

[nixisverytired]

Hey we all know pronouns aren't a privilege, right?

It doesn't matter how "annoying" a trans person is, it doesn't matter if they disagree with you on some intracommunity issue-

Use the pronouns they have in their bio, or the pronouns they ask you to use. Even if you really don't like them, or you think they're problematic.

Your comfort with somebody's pronouns isn't a factor. Using ANY other pronoun for a user that prefers it/its is misgendering. Same with neopronouns. If you can't manage it, don't talk to it.

Oh and just to be clear-

Claiming that a trans woman's account is actually "run by a man" is misgendering. Saying a trans man's blog is part of some "secret terf circle" is misgendering. Pretending a person is actually your oppressor in disguise so you can misgender them is, get this, misgendering!

I don't care how much you dislike someone, use the right fucking pronouns.

[justasaiyangirl]

"any transfem who believes in transandrophobia is actually secretly just a man"

my honest reaction:

[puppydogdevotion]

"All these theyfab tmes calling themselves 'boygirlthing genderfuck freaks' are just trying to make stuff harder for transfems!!1!1!" get off 4chan. Im begging you. Your brainrot is damn near terminal and you're going to drive away any allies and friends you could have had by slinging around 4chan slurs and transphobia.

Multigendered & nonbinary folks are not the sole cause of transmisogyny. Pull your head out of your ass and talk to somebody who isnt terminally online and so self hating they've started being transphobic to other trans people

[magnetothemagnificent]

i feel like i vaguely remember you saying you were chassidic/grew up chassidic (or maybe i'm just imagining things lmao) and as a queer jew, this is so difficult for me. i'm so conflicted when it comes to chabad. on one hand, the fact that i'm a queer jew who isn't fully observant is hard. i know my rabbi would prefer otherwise even though he doesn't say anything, and the chabad community can be isolating in that aspect. on the other hand, i love the community. i love that my campus rabbi can answer my questions. i love that i know where to go for shabbat dinner. i love that they don't want to strip me of my queerness, even if they don't approve, and all they want is for me to live a fulfilling jewish life and do mitzvot. i hate that chabadniks aren't "accepting" of queer jews, but i love that they're welcoming of all jews, regardless of background. have you ever felt this way or am i alone in this

You are not alone in this.

It's absolutely true that I grew up Chabad. I am adamantly no longer Chabad, but I still engage with the community out of necessity and because, well, my family is still Chabad. And it's very very isolating, especially for me, because I can't even go stealth as a trans guy because other Chabad people know who I am, or at least who my family is. So I am in a constant limbo state of being treated as an outsider not just because of being queer, but not even being able to daven with other people- I'm not allowed on the men's side, and I make the women uncomfortable.

Though, I will counter your statement about Chabad being welcoming of all Jews, regardless of background. Chabad as an institution does not consider patrilineal Jews to be Jewish. It also doesn't consider converts who haven't undergone and *Orthodox* conversion to be Jewish. As an institution, Chabad also doesn't affirm trans people's gender identities, nor does it consider homosexuality to be anything but a test from G-d that one must overcome (sometimes even through conversion therapy). And, unfortunately, the closer you get to Chabad, the more you'll realize that. Campus Chabad is very different from institutional Chabad, it's very much a facade to try and recruit more Jews to become Chabad themselves, and yes that does mean eventually "giving up" their queerness.

So that's my caution to you. I think it's great that you're able to use Chabad as a resource - it's certainly better than not having any Jewish community at all- but it's important to be aware of who they are and what they're intentions are. It's kind of like the Salvation Army in a sense- I would *never* tell someone who is able to benefit from their aid to just not use whatever help they can get, but as an institution the Salvation Army is Not Great and getting too close will only end in getting hurt.

And here's some Jewish youth and/or young adult programming organizations (that aren't institutionally queerphobic) you might want to look into if they exist in your area:

Keshet

JQY

Moishe House

Hillel

It's tough out there, but you're certainly not alone. And the fact that you're seeking out a Jewish community is important and incredible, especially in these times.

[starryroe]

So, it seems like multigender people are now slowly becoming the focus of hate from exclusionist groups, which I can only assume happened because these groups felt forced to have to respect multigender people for a few months as the website's opinion of them was that they were cool, and now these bigots are finding each other and, claiming that it is in order to "protect other trans people", are shitting on the "fagdykes" around.

What I want to say is this: for the love of everything that is good, if you find a post that is claiming that one specific kind of generic trans person is hurting another kind of generic trans person, actually think critically about said post.

Did this imagined person have to be a kind of trans person? Would there be a reason as to why op would like you to think certain trans people hate all other trans people?

Do these certain trans people really find any advantage in hating other trans people? Do they have any reason to do so? Or are they also under the same societal oppression that hurts them for the same reasons as other trans people?

Do *you* find any advantage in hating these people? Or are you two under the same societal oppression that hurts both of you, and hating these people serves no purpose to anyone but our oppressors to keep us divided?

Stay strong out there everyone. We gotta stick together.

[promiseimnotacop]

jsyk user genderyomi reblogs from ppl identyfing as baeddel/“transman-hater” (w their words). safe to assume she is one.

i do appreciate well meaning calling me out on shit i've reposted and whatnot but that does not to my mind warrant any kind of unfollow/deleting posts what have you

i have been seeing traces of this new wave is 'transmisandry a real thing/is baeddelism real and if it is is it actually a bad thing or kinda based' flooding my dash lately and have very deliberately stayed away from engaging in any of it/weighing up on one side or another.

thankyou for engaging here though in a more polite way!

[mathsbian]

do you realize that reblogging posts about how "infighting in the trans community is so manufactured" sends a very clear signal to people like me that you don't think transmisogyny is a real problem and that we are not safe around you? i'm genuinely not trying to be hateful and cruel, this just makes me feel incredibly hopeless and isolated. if even other trans people will dismiss us as hysterical when we talk about how were mistreated, what community is there for us?

No one is saying you don’t get mistreated. But there IS a VERY VOCAL subset of trans women saying trans men actually have PRIVILEGE not oppression at all and how dare they label it. THATS the discussion I’m a part of. That and the erasure of intersex people regardless of agab or current gender or sexuality.

So if you’re not here to talk about that, you can move right along. And I reblog plenty of stuff about uplifting trans women and listening to them, too, if that’s the metric we’re measuring my worth as a person by. 🙄 If you don’t feel safe around me, block me, I guess? But I literally can’t even properly discuss this with you if you’re anonymous and you’re not going to be more specific than “trans unity is inherently transmisogynistic because Duh” because what is there to discuss. We fundamentally disagree, from my perspective.