#into something that makes a blue pooping tree

[homestuck-without-words]

what

[tbshorts]

Turtwig and Torterra are almost perfect. Grotle........ is also there.

Chimchar really doesn't look like much, but Infernape absolutely rips

Piplup is easily the best gen 4 starter, Empoleon is practically a legendary

Video scripts below the cut

Turtwig:

Ah, the worst gen 4 starter - I'm kidding! I'm kidding. It's only second worst. It's a simple concept, executed well: what if a tortoise was also the seed of a plant, and as the tortoise grows, so does the tree on its shell. It recalls the idea of world turtles, the best cosmological concept, which is also hinted at in Torterra's pokédex entries.

But, right, Turtwig - like most starters it's mostly designed to be cute, with its broad smiling jaw and oversized upper lip and chibi proportions. The lil' twig with the two leaves on the head is just adorable, it's the pokémon version of a propeller hat, and I'm really charmed by it.

As for Grotle, well, middle stages are often awkward, and with its weird almost caterpillar body shape and two… bushes(?) on the back, it looks a bit half-finished. It really could have done more to imply a flowering garden on its back, it looks too barren.

Torterra, though? Fuck yeah, Torterra, this pokémon is so fucking cool. A giant tortoise with legs like tree trunks and claws made of boulders, and hills and trees perched upon its back, that RULES. My only criticism is that it is way too small in-game. If it was Wailord sized, it'd be S-tier.

Grade: A

Chimchar

Chimchar is probably the weakest design among the starters, both it and Monferno never really transcend just being… monkeys with fire on their tails. Chimchar has the… well it's supposed to be the shape of a small ember on its head, but let's be real, it looks like a poop, and there just isn't enough THERE to make it more than what it seems on the surface.

Monferno at least has the blue and red face markings, slightly recalling the idea of a mandrill, which is cool, and a bit of that wild white collar, which, okay, that's something, but it still barely looks special - if anything it looks like a first-stage evolution, honestly.

Infernape, thankfully, makes up for a LOT of lost ground. The billowing fire hair gives it a sense of dynamism, the powerful red crest on the face makes it look tough, the bright white is striking and the decorative gold pads on its body recalls how divinity is often decorated in Asian art. It's trite to compare every mystical monkey to Sun Wukong, but it does feel like some of him or Hanuman is in here, the design has a ton of charisma. And I really like that it remains slim, it looks agile, quick, clever, and more than a little mischievous. Weak pre-evolution designs are worth it to get to here.

Grade: B

Piplup is easily the best gen 4 starter, Empoleon is practically legendary

Piplup is the cutest gen 4 starter and also the best designed, this lil' guy is such an instant and immediate charmer. Being a baby penguin, how could it not be, but also the way that its blue markings are "fastened" on its beak and cascade down into a cloak hanging over its shoulders gives it a real "preschool kid in a raincoat" vibe that I love, and the two "buttons" on the tummy like it's wearing overalls just… god it's cute.

Prinplup avoids the awkwardness of middle stage evolutions, looking both cute with its plump little body, buttons and tailcoat, like a kid wearing his first fancy suit, but also like it's fast and powerful, thanks to those sleek fins and the head crest.

Empoleon, meanwhile… like holy shit, this thing looks like a LEGENDARY. The beak extending into a shape which is both a crown AND a trident is genuinely brilliant design, the picture of a nautical ruler. The stippling on the white marking makes it look like a fancy cravat of a king or prince, the hard edges of its collar look at once regal and dangerous, like it could slice you to piece with it, and together with those shield-like hard fins gives it an air of invulnerability almost. This thing is INTIMIDATING, it's regal, it's powerful, it's amazing!

Grade: S

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

The main skellies visits the horrortale bros farm and a random animal suddenly attacks them when they were not looking.

Undertale Sans - He's running for his life chased by an angry cow while Oak (Horrortale Sans) stares, doing nothing to stop the cow actually. He even waves at Sans as he passes by, smirking. Now he knows his "older" self doesn't like him but still, some help??? That's not funny!

Undertale Papyrus - Willow (Horrortale Papyrus) is just so confused when he notices all of his goats staring at something in a tree. That's when he notices Papyrus, holding for dear life to a branch, looking like he went to war, his clothes completely destroyed. Oops. He quickly comes to his rescue as Papyrus explains how he wanted to pet one of the babies but then Mom was not happy and the other goats attacked him. He doesn't like goats anymore, he decided.

Underswap Sans - Blue keeps working, looking dead inside, carrying hay as the two farm roosters keep attacking his legs. That hurt actually. But that's fine. He's used to pain. He said he would help on the farm and he's going to help. He's sure that if he keeps ignoring the roosters, eventually, they will leave him alone.

Underswap Papyrus - He's whining, hiding on the roof of the barnyard. The geese are angry after him and won't leave him alone. He already lost a part of his hoodie to them. Please someone helps him. He's terrified! He doesn't want to die killed by a goose. He dramatically flops on the roof, dead. He's going to take a nap there and when he'll wake up, all his problems will have magically resolved. Except that the geese finds a way up while he sleeps and he wakes up to angry hisses coming to bite his butt. Honey leaves, running for his life, screaming for help.

Underfell Sans - Red is lying on the floor. He just wanted to take some hay off the tail of one of the horses. The horse got mad and kicked him in the face. Luckily, he has thick bones and didn't die. However, he doesn't feel too good either. The world is kinda spinning at the moment.

Underfell Papyrus - He came only because he was in a bad mood and wanted to piss off Willow. So he was screaming at Willow for nothing, when suddenly a donkey came running, screaming at him with noises from hell, and then headbutts him at full force in the chest. Edge fell face-first in cow poop. Edge is not just mad, he's now mad and humiliated. He leaves like a villain, the face covers in poop, swearing this is not over. That donkey just made himself a nemesis.

Swapfell Sans - He just went to pick up Rus, but then he got jumped by a horrible creature! It keeps screaming at him and following him everywhere and he hates it so much. Why does it make this sound? That can't be a normal sound! The poor turkey is actually doing nothing at all, just following him for attention, but Nox is terrified of it. Why would anyone want that thing in their living space???

Swapfell Papyrus - He was just imitating the pigs, when he said something that apparently offended all of them and they all lunged at him. Rus is running for his life, screaming at the top of his lungs, as they refuse to let him go. Oak could technically help him, but the real question is does he really want to help him? That's still years he's waiting for an opportunity to teach that guy to not mess with them.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He knows he's not welcome here but he still tries to intrude anyway. Oak was to tired to deal with his bullshit today though. So he ordered the dogs to attack him lol. Good luck with that. They're all sheepdogs and they know how to protect their herd. Wine is forced to retreat.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He just wanted to sit with the bunnies ;w; But what he didn't know is that the male bunnies were in heat and that him cuddling one of the females made them MAD. The bunnies won't stop attacking him and growling at him and he didn't know he could get attacked by his favorite animals :( He feels so betrayed!

[fandom-trash-xl]

EPISODE 6: LIGHTNING

In which I feel things about Glorio

We start the show with no major losses or harm from the ship crash and, in typical Toriyama gag manga fashion, the companion piece to the fart joke, a poop joke. And not just any poop joke, a poop joke that helps the plot by conveniently keeping Goku out of sight when the Gendarmerie stops by.

We do have confirmation about the collars being third Demon World exclusive and Panzy having one past her scarf. The Gendarmerie doesn't seem to bat an eye at this being the princess, but they at least don't charge her any taxes.

Goku's hair is "too resilient" to be pulled back out of its normal shape- there goes the ponytail Goku dream.

Back on the road (well, sky), we get some casual lore talk. We're still keeping the Kais/Glinds being born from trees- which Goku takes as Shin being basically a plant and that's why he only seems to drink and not eat.

Arinsu, Shin, and Degesu (in that order) are all from the same tree and therefore siblings- and they free pick their gender! Love to see it!

Shin is the only of the trio to not stay in the Demon World due to differing ambitions. Considering his name feels like an odd one out, he might have changed it after leaving.

The gang camps in a "safe" cave for the night and Panzy has a cozy looking centipede sleeping bag. After a nice campfire dinner of millipede pate and Glorio continuing to be dodgy as hell when it comes to answering simple questions, our cool emo boy steps out to take a call...

AND HE'S WORKING FOR ARINSU

Like, I knew he was suspicious day 1 but wow. Why does my assassin theory sound more and more likely?

However, there's no time for rest! Turns out a very hungry cow- I mean, minotaur is lurking in the cave. Glorio takes charge, but Goku seems a little skeptic that he's up for the task and becomes curious about just how strong Glorio is...

Dang it, Goku, I thought you were making a recovery in Fight-holics Anonymous. He's even doing half a Frieza deal by offering to fight with only one hand.

Glorio's pulling off some fancy magic spells- the one-finger beam, what I thought was almost going to be a Death Ball, you can't keep doing this to me, man. Some electric energy styles too

My squishing on unusual Dragon Ball characters has found a new target, officially.

Meanwhile, the minotaur is feeling like chopped liver and we get a full glimpse of Super Saiyan- with how long he was yelling, I could've sworn he was about to go for Super Saiyan 3, which would've been absolutely gutsy considering he doesn't even know how 1 fully works in his small state.

Apparently, there's something suspicious about Glorio's magic and strength that Shin's not telling us... Oooh....

Now, we get a quick cut back to Team B! Bulma's work is done on the ship- and just in time, Vegeta's getting antsy.

However, I knew something was up when A) they were so sure this was how they were getting there after the show made a whole point about Hybis and B) Bulma didn't seem to be coming along, even though she's in the opening and ending. It seems that going to the Demon Realm wasn't in her initial plan, so she's likely getting roped along when they do make the journey.

And sure enough, the spaceship hits an unexpected snag! Don't worry guys, a silly little guy is on his way to help!

Looking at the next episode preview, we don't get many clues, but it seems we might be getting more lore on the collars!

EPISODES WITHOUT KNOWING HANVI'S WHEREABOUTS: 6

Honestly, I'm just keeping this counter for the bit and this feeling that I'm going to be sorry for removing it if we get a random cameo for no reason out of the blue.

[wonder-teo]

Entry 1

Date: 4/23/2024 Approx. Time Frame: 4pm-5:30pm Days since first contact: 7 Locations Visited: 3 - Amile Forest - Tsubu Woods - Rem River Bank Creatures Sighted: - Finfin - Spidasaures - Clippy (Freaky Bird) - Pepperfish - V-Rex (With picture!) - Palm Tree Snake - Essie

Notes and sightings under cut. Notes I deemed important are in pink bold italics.

Amile Forest - Said hello to Finfin - Finfin left

Tsubu Woods - Followed Finfin to Tsubu Woods - Didn't make much noise, but Finfin left. Perhaps he was annoyed with my presence. Or maybe he got bored with my silence (Can he hear in the woods?) - Spidasaures sighting - Clippy (Freaky Bird) sighting 1 - Finfin arrived, but promptly left. I was beginning my written notes, I didn't notice him until I heard his wings flapping. Again, I had made little to no noise, so this wasn't a case of scaring him off - I heard a sound like a single ring followed by a swoop sound. I was tabbed out, and when I opened the window, there was no trace of whatever made the noise. Strange? Was that you? - Pepperfish sighting 1 - V-Rex! I captured a picture. I was waiting for the right moment, right where he was in the middle. Perhaps I waited too long. I'll see when I look at the image when posting.

[As seen above, the picture turned out alright. The vegetation is covering him up a bit, but overall it's about as good as it can be. I was concerned that his eye would be covered up, but it's visible, albeit barely. Something to note is the color of the Tsubu Woods. The woods is usually depicted in blue colors. Is the color of the Tsubu Woods seasonal, or perhaps depend on the time of day?] - A sound like this: gon-gon-gon-nyeeh, gon-gon-gon-nyeeh, gon-gon-gon nyeeeeeeeeeeeh. No visual to accompany it, or at least, none that I saw - Clippy (Freaky Bird) sighting 2 - Finfin arrived and sang a short song - Finfin did flips around the tree branch and flew around the trunk while singing a jaunty tune! - Finfin again did flips and sang - Finfin flew very close to the screen as Tsubu nuts sprinkled down in the background - Finfin flipped and sung for a third time. He seems very playful today - Finfin was wagging his tail while facing away. Did he poop while I was writing my notes? - The gon-gon-gon-nyeeh noise returned but was immediately followed by Finfin's yawning before the noise properly faded out. How funny! - Finfin is very tired, it seems! He's yawning and murmuring so much... - Finfin left, Tsubu nuts falling in his wake - Palm Tree Snake! I recognized the sound of her slithering long before she appeared on-screen. She looked as lovely as ever - Pepperfish sighting 2

Rem River Bank - I decided to switch to Rem River Bank, my favorite location, while doing some things - Clippy (Freaky Bird) sighting 3. I think I had seen in the encyclopedia that they can appear here, but I had forgotten. What a nice surprise! - I heard some underwater noises, but I didn't notice any visuals - Finfin arrived and began swimming - Some technical issues as my program went to screensaver. Once I was fully back, Finfin was flying - Finfin landed on the rock and began cheeping at me. Can he hear me? I wonder if this game really does differentiate between him in the water and him outside of the water in terms of him being able to respond to microphone activity. It either does that or microphone activity just doesn't work when he's in Rem River Bank at all, I'm sure - It seems Finfin had left at some point. I'm sad I didn't notice. I swear I don't ignore you on purpose, Finfin! - Clippy (Freaky Bird) sighting 4 - Essie! She's bigger than I thought she was, judging by the one head I was able to see on the side of the screen - Dinnertime for me. I concluded by Teo-watching for the time being

[totkdaily]

Day 2: The Great Sky Island

The abilities Rauru's hand provides are so strange, but I can see some connection to the abilities of the Sheikah Slate.

Wandering this quiet land is a contemplative experience, but all I can think about is the Princess. The construct had her Purah Pad, and said she was waiting for me. Rauru... the creature beneath Hyrule Castle said Rauru knew of us, put faith in us. How can he know me, let alone Zelda? It would help if I even knew when I was, but without my paraglider I have no real hope of reaching the land below - the risk that I wouldn’t hit water is too great, at least until I know more...

I'm unsure of Rauru, but the Stewards seem kind and helpful. They’re attentive to the ringing of the Time Bell at dawn and dusk, echoes lost in their routines.

It’s almost a relief to find a Korok in a tree - finally, something familiar. It hands me a Korok seed, which I’m still fairly convinced is poop. It sounds like Hestu is still around - or already around? The children of the forest, I think, are immortal. So that doesn't give me much more of a clue as to when, exactly, I am.

I sail across a lake in a rudimentary craft I built with Rauru's hand. The constructs complain that their raft has broken, but I can't seem to make them understand when I've fixed it.

It's past midnight. In a cave, I discover some kind of glowing frog? It shoots bubbles at me. When I shoot at it in response, it becomes a flash of blue and a gem.

Incomprehensible. I'm sure Zelda would be very excited about the scientific implications. She would be able to deduce the truth of this place, from its architecture and mechanisms. If only I can find her.

[diamondcrownacademy]

DCA Info Part 18: Rosadormienti Dorm 💤🌹😘

Rosadormienti (ロサドルミエンティ寮, Rosadorumienti Ryō) was founded on the Dreams (夢) of the Slumbering Princess and is inspired by the world of Sleeping Beauty. Students of this dorm excel in General Magic.

Dorm Founder: Aurora

Known in-universe as the Slumbering Princess (睡眠の王女).

Dorm Crest

The dorm crest features a shield like emblem with a pale gold exterior outline and lavender interior. Within the center of the interior is a crown that resembles the same one Princess Aurora wears. The top part of the emblem features three roses with the one in the center being red, the right one being green and the left one being blue. Near the bottom of the emblem, there is a banner with the dorm's name on it. There are thorny vines on the top and sides of the exterior and the upper part of the emblem's interior.

Dorm Leader: Briar Auroria

Rosadormienti's current dorm leader is Briar Auroria, a student who possesses powerful magic and has fairy blood flowing through her veins.

Dorm Fairy: Willow

Willow (ウィロー, U~irō) is Rosadormienti's dorm fairy and vice dorm leader. She is known for wanting to get to know people better and is shown to praise her current master. She keeps everything neat and tidy and is a busybody, looking for something to do. She makes sure everything is organized and neat, she uses magic to change the color of the tapestry in the dorm when the seasons change to match the aesthetic. You can expect that in any weather or holiday, the dorm will still look radiant.

Her current appearance is manifested through Briar's desire to have a fairy godmother to watch over her when she feels so lonely. As a child she never really had anyone to talk to as they merely converse with her because of their duty, she always wondered if a fairy godmother blessed her with gifts maybe then she would be accepted.

Dorm Living Quarters

• The exterior of the Rosadormienti dorm living quarters is made from white marble and has several spires surrounding the base of the building. In every spire, roses and ivy vines grow and latch onto the walls making it look straight out of a fairytale.

• The interior has a fireplace in the lobby that is completely made out of polished stone so no flammable objects are placed in there.

• Outside of the dorm living quarters lies a secret pathway to walk around. The forest path also has a small cave where a monster sleeps, but the monster belongs to the dorm leader so there won't be any worries. Though it is known to be gluttonous.

• There are also berry bushes and fruit trees that grow around the area. Some of the dorm tenants hold picnics there or just enjoy a nap under the shade and the students often have hanging baskets on their windowsills, to feed the birds and small animals that come by ocassionally. You can hear the sounds of wildlife almost everywhere.

• Some of the plants here are sentient and are placed at the entrance of the dorm living quarters to repel against intruders and trespassers. (Though this is mostly so that the animals don't wander around in the lobby, as lovable as the animals are, no one wants animal poop in the building).

Etymology

The dorm's name is a portmanteau of the Latin words "rosa" meaning "rose" and "dormienti" meaning "sleeping". Both reference Aurora's other aliases, with the former referencing her peasant identity "Briar Rose" and the latter being her more famous one, "Sleeping Beauty". The dorm's name is additionally derived from Latin words, referencing how Aurora's real name is Latin for the word "dawn".

[victorluvsalice]

-->Only for her and Smiler to decide they wanted to play ping-pong together, and for Alice to run off to the ping-pong table before I could stop the interaction. *sigh* Damn werewolf super-speed... I was like “fine, okay, you can play a game of –

“Hmm. Actually. Hang on. Why not play a round of juice pong instead? Be something DIFFERENT for me to watch, anyway.”

And so they did, tossing balls at each other’s cups of juice. As you do. XD And damn, Alice absolutely SMOKED Smiler, getting all four of their cups while they only got ONE. I think I see why Smiler only plays regular ping-pong with people these days. XD Sorry Smiler! Maybe this will make you a little less obsessed with the table!

-->Anyway – Victor finished the tending and the fertilizing while this was all going on (super vitality on the remaining oversized crops, and some pet poops on a few nearby flowers) – as he was busting for a pee and dirty, I had him transportalate up to the white-and-blue bathroom and hit the toilet and the shower while Alice went on a hunt and Smiler entered the greenhouse to get their plasma fruit and herbalism supplies (along with some pears and plantains) before super-selling the rest. Well, ALMOST all of the rest – the way they did it, the apple tree got missed in every super-sell batch, so they ended up harvesting that too. XD Well, they can use ‘em for nectar! While that was going on, Victor finished his shower and cleaned some more spoiled food out of the fridge –

-->And then I spotted Ian Moody standing on the porch for some reason, being pestered by a couple of specters. I decided to have Victor save the poor old guy and sent him out to give one of the ghost blobs a Potion Of Good Fortune – the gift was a hit, fortunately, and Victor got another lump of wraith wax, which he promptly sold to an oddity collector because we have ENOUGH of that stuff, thank you. XD Ian, thus freed, immediately headed back out into the world as Alice returned from her Hunt, mouth full of meat and Fury high. (I guess he saw all this and thought “NOPE.” Which, fair.) I looked at her devouring her steak while all aglow, looked at the in-game clock and saw it was noon –

And was like “you know what, I’m not going to the store today. They can just have a chill day at home for a change.” So I directed everyone to hang out on the porch together for a bit while Alice finished her meal, then Smiler went over to shape the bonsai into a freezer bunny shape (as they were feeling very playful) and had Victor get a REAL lunch of mushroom steak (as he was trying to eat ice cream – you have to eat REAL FOOD sometimes, Victor) –

[violent-optimism]

Ranking every Ganon/Ganondorf based on Appearance

Hey folks!

Those who know me well know that Ganondorf is one of my all time favourite video game characters and I am SO excited to see him return in “Tears of the Kingdom”. In that spirit, I thought it would be fun to do a personal ranking of every major Ganon or Ganondorf appearance in a Zelda game.

Notice how I said “major”, because quite frankly there are a lot of smaller Zelda games out there and I don’t have time to look into every single one of them to see if the G man had a cameo or not. This won’t be a complete list, just complete in terms of my personal knowledge and the games I am most familiar with. Also, friendly reminder that this list is my opinion and I’m not trying to offend or change anyone’s mind.

Let’s go!

Ganon from the CD-I Zelda games - 1/10

I had to throw this one in here just for fun. It’s no secret that most of the characters in these games look absolutely god awful, not just Ganon himself. He looks like a weird, swamp monster that’s a cross between a dog and an ogre. Whenever I see this image all I can think of were those hilarious Youtube Poops from way back in the day. It is truly a silly design that fails to even remotely represent such an evil and intimidating character.

Calamity Ganon from Breath of the Wild - 3/10

Gosh, I just know I’m gonna piss people off with this one. I’m sorry, but I just don’t like this design at all. Like, what am I even looking at here? He looks like a Christmas tree crossed with a pirate skeleton or something. The only reason why I gave him a 3 is because at least he is somewhat intimidating, unlike the last entry on my list. I know I haven’t actually finished BOTW, but that doesn’t change the fact that I find his design to be pretty uninspired and confusing, at least from what I’ve seen.

Original Ganon from the Legend of Zelda -  5/10

Although I’ve always preferred Ganondorf to Ganon, I will say I actually dig this design quite a bit. It really gets the point across that he is a powerful baddie and will hurt you if he gets the chance. It’s a good look, it’s effective, and oddly cute in a weird way? Especially when you see him in the game as a bundle of sprites that resemble a bright blue pig. Ultimately it’s just not as threatening or aesthetically pleasing as some of his other reincarnations.

Ganondorf from The Wind Waker - 6/10

Now we’re getting somewhere! While this is far from my favourite design of his, you have to admit it goes in a pretty creative and unique art direction. This version of Ganondorf feels rather large and imposing, especially since he towers over the characters of Link and Zelda who are literal children. I love the small details like his brooch and sandals. When I look at this image, I’m left with only one burning question...why did they make him so god damn CHONKY?

Ganondorf from Ocarina of Time - 7/10

Honestly it’s really hard to find anything wrong with this design. This was the first time we ever saw a human version of Ganondorf, and it’s inspired all of the other versions since then to some degree. He’s imposing, he’s threatening, he’s powerful, and it shows. I love the brown tones mixed with the white/blue/red cloth that’s scattered over various points. I think the only problem I have with this is the weird cod-piece situation that’s going on. And why did they make his ears so big and goofy?

Ganondorf from Hyrule Warriors - 8/10

Now THIS is more like it! I never played Hyrule Warriors, but boy do I sure love this design of Ganondorf. The blue and gold tones, the giant boots, the luscious red mane that’s free to blow in the wind. This is a look that just screams power and strength, with a touch of grace added in for good measure. Ganondorf looks delightfully mean here, like he’s thinking about how much he’s going to enjoy smashing your face into the ground.

Ganondorf from Tears of the Kingdom - 8.5/10

This new look hasn’t even been out for a week and I’m already so in love with it. I’m really enjoying the Samurai inspired design, with the man bun, tattoos and more skin shown than any other version I can think of. I know it’s on trend to talk about the thirst factor, but it definitely is there. Ganondorf’s potential for sex appeal is long overdue, and judging by everyone’s reaction I think I’m correct in that. Similar to Link and Zelda’s designs, I feel like this look has taken a bold new turn without straying too far from the original design of the character. I can’t wait to see more of him!

Ganondorf from Twilight Princess - 10/10

Here he is; the man, the myth...the absolute GOAT. In my opinion, Ganondorf’s design PEAKED with Twilight Princess and no other design has even come close to this level of perfection. Part of this might be my nostalgia talking, or the fact that this is my favourite Zelda game. But according to some other folks online, it looks like I’m not the only one who is obsessed with this look. Just looking at this image you can feel the anger, the power, the dominance. I love the colour scheme, the hairstyle, the cape, the fingerless gloves. There was so much thought put into every detail and it really shows. Perhaps 11 year Sam was ahead of her time, but I thought this Ganondorf was sexy as fuck back in the day (and tbh I still kind of do). At the end of the day, this look has everything you’d want for the King of Evil.

Thanks for listening to my ramble, folks. I hope you got something out of it. What’s your favourite version of Ganon/Ganondorf? :)

[muuum-am-i-adohhhpted]

The Path to Godhood (Empires SMP)

Summary: Joel is just an average, mortal, boy living with his single mother in what will become the Ancient Capital. The Rapture hasn't occured yet, but Joel is given a surprise when his father visits him, telling him a humanity-wiping event will happen in twenty years. He gives Joel an offer that includes safety from it.

Or, how Joel became a god that doesn't include the Fountain of Strength.

AO3 Link

Word Count: 4511

Warnings: Death, death of a parent, bad parenting, lies, temporary amnesia, references to bullying, fire and smoke inhalation.

~~~

Even from a young age, Joel had been obsessed with the gods. He'd search out shrines of smaller deities in the outskirts of the capital, committing their names to memory. He'd sit with the older folk in town and listen to stories of adventure, morality, and jealousy. The gods were messy, and human-like, and they made mistakes just like everybody else. But they were just that: gods. And Joel was a mere human, tethered to the earth like a bird with clipped wings.

Keeping to himself and only interacting with elders put a target on his back. The kids his own age taunted him for his height and scrawniness, throwing dodo poop at his clothes and tripping him wherever he walked.

His mother said that children preyed on the weak, and that Joel was an old-soul. "Keep true to yourself, and they'll eventually tire of you. They're looking for reactions, and the best thing you can do without making the bullying worse is to pretend they don't affect you."

The thing was, it did affect him. A lot. His mother was on the shorter side, and Joel was too. They had a lot in common, in fact. The same untamable brown hair, and chestnut eyes. The only trait Joel apparently got from his out-of-the-picture father was his rather bulbous nose. Joel liked to keep it that way; he much preferred to look like his mother who Joel considered his one and only parent.

A lot of stigma came with being an only parent, and Joel was ready to fight anybody who even blinked at his mother the wrong way. But none came. The children had plenty of opportunities to say something rude about his mother but didn't, and no whispers came from the adults.

Joel didn't truly understand it. Until one night, sitting under a froglight tree in the orchard, a man appeared in front of him. He was wearing a pure-white chiton, blond hair and blue eyes. His entire being was ringed with gold, indicating his godhood. The thing that stood out the most to Joel was the man's nose. Large and bulbous—exactly like Joel's own.

"I must be dreaming," Joel muttered, and he quickly stood up. Because gods didn't just come down to the mortal realm. And if they did, they definitely made sure to be hidden, and they definitely didn't have children with mortal women.

"I'm afraid you’re not. Joel, I am your father."

The world seemed to fall away from under Joel, and he instantly sat back down. "What?"  This revelation felt like one of those hackneyed melodramas some of the older kids wrote and acted out in town square. All he needed now was an amnesia plotline, and he'd be set. "Why are you telling me this now?"

Joel could now place which god this was—the god of the sky. It was his job to paint the heavens blue every morning, and black in the night. Only when he was sad or upset did the sky end up a melancholy grey.

The god of the sky looked down pityingly at Joel. "The Fates have read of a terrible future, and it's quite imminent. It won't happen in this area, but it will affect the entire world causing earthquakes and rising waters. Nearly every mortal will die."

A shiver went through Joel. "How soon does everyone have?"

"Twenty years, at the most," the god replied. His lips were pursed and he seemed to not know where to look—at Joel or somewhere else.

Twenty years felt like a long time away, but Joel supposed if he was immortal, that period wouldn't seem nearly as long. "So. Everyone's going to die. Are you planning for me to be the messenger to tell everybody? Maybe we can build something? A safe house?" His mind was already running with ideas on how to do such a thing. Obsidian, perhaps?

The god shook his head. "No, the mortals will descend into chaos if they were to know. No Joel, I'm asking you if you would like to be granted the gift of immortality and live with me and the other gods. It will be safe up there."

“Immortality?” Joel repeated. “With you?” He could hardly wrap his head around the idea. The prospect of living forever, alongside the gods no less, sounded incredible. He’d be safe from whatever terrible event would occur in two decades.

“Is my mother allowed to come too?” Joel thought of his mother who cared for him, loved him, and also held a demanding job at the copper aging facility below the capital.

The god’s face turned pained, “unfortunately, that’s not possible. You’re half-god, and already have some claim to it. Giving mortals immortality is incredibly difficult; the other gods all have to agree and I haven’t exactly made friends with all of them.”

Joel’s mind was then made up. “I can’t leave her behind. I’m the only person left for her here; she’d be all alone for the end of the world and I can’t do that to her.”

For a long time, the god stared at Joel with an inscrutable expression. Then, he patted Joel on the shoulder. “Very well,” he finally said. “You’re a good son, Joel. I’m proud to have you as my son. Farewell.” And, in the blink of an eye, he disappeared.

Joel stayed sitting under the froglight tree until the sun came up once again. He pictured his father running along the sky, giving it a beautiful pink and orange hue.

Joel never told his mother about the meeting.

~~~

As Joel grew older, he struggled with whether or not he should tell the city that humanity was going to die. But his father had been right; if people were to know, everything would fall into chaos. Crime would run rampant, and panic would ensue. Besides, if the Fates said that almost everyone would die, there was nothing to be done. The world might as well live in ignorance.

And so life went on.

He was nearing adulthood and, while he had sprouted up significantly, he was still in the middle of the pack. Nevertheless, the bullying backed off. He wasn't sure whether it was because of his new height or because they all grew up. Either way, Joel was glad.

In the meantime, his mom was getting older. Spending so much time underground had faded her usual liveliness. Her wrinkles seemed deeper, her eyes foggier. Grey streaked through her dark hair. Joel was scared.

He took up a part-time job at the froglight orchard, eventually working there full time after finishing his schooling. In the blazing sun, constantly plucking froglights from the trees, gathering them in a basket, and carrying them inside to be washed, Joel slowly felt himself become stronger. When he had first started at the orchard, he could only carry seven or so froglights per basket, but now he found he could lift nearly twenty.

Joel was proud of the accomplishment; he liked the way he looked in a mirror. The bulk fit him in a way the scrawniness hadn't. Unfortunately, his new appearance did remind himself of his father who he hadn't seen since that night under the froglight tree.

When his mother took a nasty fall in the copper aging facility, Joel was finally able to persuade his mother to retire. At this point, Joel was making enough money for the two of them to live comfortably along with the money he had already saved.

On her deathbed, early in the morning, Joel's mother pulled him into a loose hug, her hair tickling Joel's neck. Her hair was nearly all grey now, her hands shaking and frail. "Son, I need to tell you something. It's about your father."

Joel's face pinched. "Shhh," he told her. "It's okay; it doesn't matter. He isn't here now, and he's never been here to care for this family." A part of him wished his father was here, so he could see what he could have prevented by allowing the both of them immortality. Joel was positive his father could have gotten the other gods' permission, but he hadn't even fought for it. Hadn't even tried.

"But—" his mother argued. 

Joel shook his head, and he could feel tears threatening to spill. "I love you."

Joel's mother gripped him tighter, pulling him closer into the hug. "I love you too, and I hope you know that physicality doesn't always denote strength."

"I know, I know." And this time, Joel couldn't hold the tears in. He felt them run down his cheeks like a waterfall and Joel could feel the exact moment his mother's heart slowed to a stop. "You are proof of that."

~~~

After the traditional funeral rites had been executed, Joel left.

He couldn't stay in the capital any longer. People looked at him with pity; they brought dishes upon dishes of food, saying that his mother was in a better place now. Joel seethed inside, knowing that this could have all been avoided.

It was the closest he had come to yelling that the world was going to end.

He travelled the world with only his thoughts as company. The places he visited were a comfort. They didn't know his mother was gone. They didn't know he hadn't always looked like this. They didn't know they would all die in just five more years. He hated seeing civilians pregnant with children, knowing that all was for nothing.

Everytime the cloud of grief began to be too much, Joel skipped town to the next one. And then the next one. He experienced new smells and sights, and met all kinds of people of different walks of life.

Too quickly, the five years were up, and Joel found himself in a snowy taiga village. That morning, the sky turned a terrifying red, and Joel wondered whether or not this was warning from his father that the end of the world was upon them all.

Groans rattled through the earth, shattering windows and scaring away livestock. Soon, the earthquakes arrived, and fire spread like the entire world was dry and parched. It didn't matter that snow decorated the ground, fire jumped from rooftop to rooftop.

Villagers rushed around, eyes wide, calling for their children.

Joel couldn't help but think that this village was lucky. The walls of most of the houses were made of cobblestone instead of wood. The walls wouldn't collapse on anybody. However, that didn't mean the roofs wouldn't.

"Pixlriffs!" A mother was screeching, nearly hysterical. Her cheeks were streaked with tears. "Pixlriffs! Where are you?" 

Another villager was physically restraining her from running back into the fiery debris that had been their village. "You can't go back in there—it's a death wish. All we can hope is that your boy has already made it out."

Joel stepped forward. "I'll go in," he told the woman. "I'll glance into the houses to see if I can see him."

The other villager violently shook his head. "The boy is either dead or safe with the other children. You shouldn't—"

But Joel was already gone. He couldn't stand and watch as another son was ripped away from his mother. If the boy was still inside the village, as his mother thought, Joel was going to reunite the two of them if it was the last thing he did.

The smoke coming from the wooden roofs and light posts immediately engulfed him, but Joel continued on. "Pixlriffs!" He called out, before doubling over and letting out a cough. Still, he went deeper into the village, holding a scarf up to his mouth and nose.

His ears instantly perked up when he heard the screaming of a young boy, the voice coming from inside the house to his right. "Help; anyone! Please! I'm stuck!"

Joel bounded inside, taking in the scene in front of him. A beam from the roof had fallen, sandwiching Pixlriffs' leg between it and the floor. He looked to be seven or so, with a blue cloak and brown hair filled with ash.

Joel was instantly at his side, and he heaved the beam up an inch—enough for Pixlriffs to wriggle out from under the beam. The boy's breathing was laboured, and Joel wasn't sure if Pixlriffs had broken a leg or not, so hoisted him up on his back. "We're getting you out of here," Joel said, determination laced in his voice.

He stepped out of the house, using one hand to keep the scarf over his face and the other to keep Pixlriffs on his back. "Pull your shirt up over your mouth," Joel instructed. "It'll help keep the smoke out."

Joel felt shifting on his back as Pixlriffs did as he was told. "I'm scared," he said quietly, and Joel nearly didn't hear him over the crackling fire surrounding them.

"It's okay," Joel told him. "It's going to be okay. You'll reunite with your mother, and everything will be okay." He wasn't sure if he was just telling Pixlfirffs this or also himself. To get Pixlriffs' mind off of their current situation, Joel began talking. "My name is Joel. Did you know that I'm a god? In my true form, I can wrestle the ender dragon and I tower over everyone I meet. I only look like a regular man now because, if I were to show mortals what I actually look like, everyone would be scared of me." It was more than an exaggeration, but Joel hoped it was capturing Pixlriffs' imagination.

"The capital where I live worship dozens of gods, but I'm one of the most important." They were nearing the outskirts of town, and Joel could just barely see the outline of trees, currently not on fire. They wouldn't be that way for long, but Joel focussed on them nonetheless. He needed something to walk towards. He could feel it getting harder to breathe, and his nose burned from the irritation the smoke caused. Still, Joel continued talking. "The capital has this massive catacomb with a huge statue of our main goddess. People ride along the streets on dodos instead of horses or donkeys. I'll take you there one day."

Finally, they were out of the village, and Joel could see Pixlriffs' mother run towards them, eyes shining with relief.

Joel tried to take in a breath of fresh air, but ended up in a coughing fit, Pixlriffs sliding off his back in the process. Each cough seemed to come out harder than the last and, eventually, Joel collapsed into a heap on the ground, his heart stuttering and slowing down, almost at a deathly pace.

~~~

When Joel opened his eyes, he was in an unfamiliar room lying in an unfamiliar bed. A man sat at his bedside, looking nearly the same age as him. With blond hair and blue eyes, he looked almost familiar but Joel couldn't place him. "Where…where am I?" He asked. "Who are you?" With striking realization, he immediately sat up. "Who am I?"

"Hey, hey, it's okay," the other man said. "You've just been turned into a god; it might take a while to get used to it."

Something in Joel's stomach dropped, and the slightest wisp of this isn't what I wanted passed through him before dissolving, and he couldn't quite remember what it was he had just felt. "Oh."

"I'm your father," the blond man said, and he gave Joel a bright smile, teeth pearly white and straight. "You just turned 29 and I gifted you immortality for your birthday." In a playful voice, he said, "can't have five-year-old immortal gods, now can we? We often wait for the kids to grow up before stunting their growth."

Joel blinked rapidly, his thoughts and feelings like mush in his head. "I'm a god," he repeated, almost under his breath. Yes, that sounded about right. Almost. But who was he to question his father who just gifted him something like immortality? "Why can't I remember anything?"

His father patted Joel's shoulder comfortingly. "You spent all of your life down in the mortal world. When you arrive up in the god realm, your memories from down there are taken away so what you saw in the mortal world won't cause you pain. Don't worry, if you ever go back to visit the mortals, your memories will return."

Joel's eyes lit up. "Can I go back now?"

"Not a good idea," his father said with a sad shake of the head. "The mortal world is going through a tough time. Nearly all of them are dying."

"Can't anything be done?" Joel asked hopefully. While he had no memories of any mortals in his life or even walking among them, it felt wrong to not help them in any way he could. "Give them a sort of sanctuary?"

"If it would change anything, I would," his father sighed. "The Fates have foretold the Rapture would kill most of humanity. Anything the gods do would mean nothing."

"Most? You mean they'll be survivors?" Hope bloomed in Joel's chest.

Joel's father stood up. "Not many, but yes. Enough to repopulate the earth. Now, you should get some rest, son. I'm sure you'll be back on your feet in no time; then we can see what kinds of powers you wield."

~~~

Living with his father and the rest of the gods was exciting. He couldn't tell time passing as he met new people, and honed his thunder and lightning abilities. His father said only a couple of months passed, but it felt like days.

Whatever hesitancy he had previously felt about being immortal, he chalked up to weariness and thus promptly forgot about.

He enjoyed helping Peril with creating storm clouds for mortal farmers, and sparring with Jeremy among the clouds. Some of his favourite days were spent just hanging out with his father, accompanying him as he coloured the sky with a variety of shades he created in his home.

Still curious about the mortal world, Joel often asked his father how the mortals were faring down below. He wanted to visit to see if he could help in the aftermath of the Rapture. Joel could help move large debris or help close up cracks in the earth by filling them with boulders.

And, everytime, his father would say, "the mortals need to learn to care for themselves. If we always help them out when they are in times of trouble, they won't learn and evolve. It's better to visit when they're thriving, which is going to take a bit more time."

So Joel dropped the subject and continued on about his day until he would remember the mortals once more and bring it up again. It was a never-ending cycle, and Joel had no reason to think anything was amiss.

That is, until all the gods became translucent. Except for Joel.

"They're forgetting us; the mortals are forgetting us!" Peril exclaimed that day when all the gods gathered together to figure out what to do next.

Jeremy gestured to Joel, who was still solid. "Why isn't he being forgotten—he's our newest god! This doesn't make sense at all. No one could possibly remember him; he hasn't even been down to earth in his god form before."

Joel's father put two hands on Joel's shoulders, staring deeply into his eyes. "Joel, it is time. You must travel down to earth to help the mortals remember us. In our translucent forms, we are weakened and unable to travel there for long periods of time. I have no answers as to why you're not being forgotten, but we mustn't question it; you may not stay like this for much longer."

Joel swallowed the lump in his throat. He had no memories of ever being in the mortal realm before and, as such, it was practically a new experience. "Do we know how many mortals are still alive?"

His father shook his head. "We don't. You'll have to find them on your own. You must help the survivors remember and get them to give offerings to us; we're counting on you."

Joel didn't know how he could force mortals to worship the gods. He knew the capital he had come from was the main area where people believed in them, so he hoped descendents from his old hometown were still around. If not, and the survivors believed in different gods or no gods at all, Joel was going to have a tough time.

"I'll try my best," Joel said, and he managed a strained smile. Then, he descended down to the mortal world.

~~~

When Joel finally landed on solid ground, his head immediately felt like it was being split open by a cleaver. Instantly, he fell to his knees, gripping at his skull, and scrunching his eyes closed. Old memories came to him in waves, crashing into him like a tsunami, nausea rolling through him. His old bullies, his mother, his old home. His father giving him the option of immortality at a young age and gifting it to him later in life when Joel was on the brink of death.

Joel laid there for what seemed like hours, nursing his migraine and the rush of his mortal memories from who knew how long ago.

As the pain ebbed away, and Joel mentally sorted through his memory, he couldn't help but feel the anger burning within him. His father had forcefully turned him into an immortal god. He had lied about who Joel had once been. Did he want to save his father and the rest of the gods? Joel wasn't so sure anymore.

And so he walked. He had no idea where he was in the mortal realm—nothing looked familiar. Any sign of old architecture from his city or any of the other empires from his time were gone. Just how long had he been up in the god realm? His father had told him ten years, at the most, but Joel was beginning to think that that was just another lie. Chills ran through his body. Finally, as Joel was about to give up looking for civilization, he found a familiar hill. It was much grassier than he remembered, but it was the same one he remembered climbing as a young boy before the Greatbridge and his home came into view.

Joel crested the hill, and the familiar sight took over his senses. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes as the bridge's path led to the gatehouse. The bridge was cracked and looked worn, but it was still there. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He couldn't believe that he was finally home.

Joel slowly made his way across the bridge, glancing down the side to see the water gently lapping at the stone pillars holding it up. The pillars were undecorated, probably destroyed in the Rapture or stolen by pirates.

He made his way through the gatehouse, the wooden doors already cracked open just slightly, before stopping in his tracks. Joel blinked at the scene in front of him. There were no buildings, just parts of the foundation roped off. Off in the distance, the froglight orchard grew wild. His home was…an archeological dig?

"Joel?" A voice asked, and Joel spun to the source, only to see a mortal man in a blue jacket and brown hair. "Is that really you?" The man looked awed, and he pulled off a pair of gloves, nearing Joel. "I didn't think I'd see you ever again."

It clicked, then. Why he wasn't being forgotten like the other gods. Pixlriffs had remembered him. "Pixlriffs?"

Pixlriffs chuckled. "The one and only."

"How long has it been? It looks like it's only been thirty years or something." Part of Joel was relieved that it hadn't been too long since he'd been gone. Pixlriffs had been quite young when Joel saved his life, and now he looked to be in his mid thirties. Maybe he had just arrived in the mortal world in a spot uninhabited by people. Maybe this was an archaeological dig sight because a landslide had covered the entirety of the town.

Pixlriffs went serious and he shook his head. "Joel, you've been gone for over 1000 years."

"1000 years?" Joel repeated. "But—but you're here. You're not an immortal god. This isn't possible. I must be dreaming."

"I can't explain it either," Pixlriffs said. "But, one day, I stopped aging. I don't know if I was always like this, or if it was a substance I touched or ate or if it was something else entirely. But Joel, it's been over 1000 years since you saved me. New empires have formed, and the others have no memory of the Rapture at all, only versions of it in their legends."

Joel's voice came out in a whisper as he said, "the gods are slowly fading away because nobody remembers them. I'm the only one not affected because you've remembered me."

Pixlriffs let this sink in. "Tell me about the gods," he finally said. "If I remember them, then they won't fade away. Still, you should find some villages too. Spread the knowledge around in case anything does happen to me. And," he added with a smile, "later, you can tell me what your ancient capital used to look like and I'll re-build it to its former glory."

And so Joel did. He told Pixlriffs about Peril and Jeremy and the other gods he had lived with for a thousand years without knowing. When he finally got to the god who painted the skies, with blond hair and blue eyes, and a nose like his own, Joel paused before making up his mind.

"And I'm the god of the skies and thunder and lightning."

~~~

Later, after Joel and Pixlriffs finally parted ways, Joel found himself in a grassy field in a village that had taken to his godhood quite easily. The sky was clear and, as Joel looked up at its endless blue, Joel pictured a sparkling marble empire in the sky.

He hadn't wanted to become immortal for the sole purpose of being with his mother, but she had died before the Rapture occured and there was no way to take it back. Now, the only way he could die was if he was erased from mortal's minds and wiped from history books. And Joel wasn't ready for that yet.

Joel exaggerated his feats and his traits to the people living in Lower Stratos; he didn't want to be forgotten. Memory was too precious to him—he would never go back to the god realm ever again. He wanted to make a name for himself here. Not only to prove the bullies who had picked on him wrong, but also for his mother who had always been there for him. Every morning to pep himself up for the new day, he told himself in the mirror he was strong. Both inside and out.

[rocklandjbrin]

It had been a rough night. Rockland’s nose was still stuffy, but his face had since dried, no longer paved with icy streams as the wind blew upon it. Right cheek aching, he found a spot on the left side of the subway, and leaned his head up against the window until the rattling got to him. He hadn’t bothered checking the time when he’d left the house, hadn’t exactly been a priority, but it was clearly the middle of the night. So much for getting a good night’s sleep. 

He sprawled out on one of the train benches as soon as it cleared up, using his hood as a makeshift pillow. His arm was slipped through one of his backpack straps to try and make sure no one ran off with it. 

It was bordering on morning by the time he stepped back onto firm ground, the birds were singing, the sky ever so slightly lighter. Took him a few moments to get his bearings, but once he had he decided on a destination pretty quick. Early morning trail walk on Old Putman, and who needed school, or exams, when he could go to the library? Riverdale wasn’t too far off.

Laughably, when he first saw blue out of the corner of his eye, he’d thought it was a flawk of birds, or some flowers or something. Course, in his defence, the scales were off in the distance, and partially hidden by trees.

Rockland squinted, ducking to try and get a better look. Looked almost like a lizard tail or something?Had to be a statue, right? Weren’t any lizards that big in New York. But who puts a statue off trail? Could it be a Banksy or something? Maybe it wasn’t a lizard at all, it was far enough away he could be seeing it wrong.

He stood there for a while, torn between the call of the library and the call of adventure. Man, he was pooped, Riverdale had comfy seats, but... His curiosity got the better of him. Shouldn’t take too long to check it out, wasn’t that far, even if it felt it with his limbs like lead. His knee was getting tired, too. Couldn’t take too long.

Careful with his footing along the uneven terrain, the teen slowly made his way over. He only glanced up every so often as he watched for sticks to slip on or bug nests or whatever else could be in his path, so he didn’t realize just how close he’d gotten to the mysterious statue, until his eyes darted up and he realized just how wrong he’d been. Red eyes met his blue, and the boy froze, gripping his cane tight, every muscle stiff. 

“Shi-” The teen squeaked, voice probably two octaves higher than normal.

No way. No way, no way, no way- dragons didn’t exist... did they?

His forcefield bubble flickered up around him all the same. Was it fireproof? Not a clue, but he sure hoped so- A DRAGON. There was a massive dragon- this wasn’t some kind of movie or even a news report or somethin’, this dude was right here. In front of him. And he had to admit, it wasn’t that much of a reach. Aliens existed. He could make forcefields, and other mutants could do some pretty wild things- wait. “A-are you a mutant?” 

Man that’d be such a cool power. He didn’t know what would freak him out more, and he didn’t know what would be more exciting. Well, a real dragon would probably be more exciting, but only if they weren’t about to turn him into a s’more.

His head was like the length of his entire body. Badass.

[ladyfly]

New Parts- The Wedding 9

I googled a website to make a name for a fazbear campsite. and it's gems are special. The top one is good but what are those other ones? I like #2. 1) Freddy's Family Campground 2) disfunctional Freddy 3) cambear 4) Camp Pizza 5) the best campground in america

CW: talk about sex,

You ask Moon how he was able to build the body to so closely resemble yours. All he tells you is he salvaged the parts. Outright telling you at one point that one day he will tell you but today is not that day. You accept the answer with a kiss.

With your bags in hand the three of you sand at the employee entrance waiting for your ride. A six passenger street legal cart rolls up. You can see it through the little window on the door. You weren't sure what you were expecting but a shitty little six seater golf cart painted to resemble Freddy was not on your list.

The driver is a modified staff bot with a bright olive green shirt and poop yellow hat. It assaults your eyeballs. The three of you take a seat. Sun and Moon sit next to each other and you sit behind them with the luggage. They each have an arm behind their seats so you can hold their hands.

Their eyes are full of wonder as they look around at the world around them. It reminds you of kids visiting Disneyworld for the first time. It warms your.. circuits? You don't really have a heart anymore. Not a real flesh and blood one anyway.

The drive takes you behind the plex along a grey gravel driveway. It's three miles to the campground. Sun and Moon ask many questions about nature and the forest. You answer every question you can. The air is cool leaning towards cold. It being Autumn in the more northern region of the world.

A warm cup of tea would be lovely. Too bad you can't drink tea anymore. You spend some time lamenting all the things you can't eat or drink anymore. However as you gaze up at Sun, who is looking at you in concern, you know you made the right choice. Sun nudges Moon pointing at you.

Moon looks at you carefully as you enter the gate to Freddy's Family Campground "Are you ok? Is... IS something wrong? You aren't regretting-"

You cut him off "NO! ... No. I uh I was just thinking about all the things I can't eat and drink anymore. I don't regret this. I'm just mourning a loss. I'm good now."

Moon climbs into the back of the cart with you. He pulls you into his chest "I'm sorry I couldn't find a way for you to eat."

The cat stops in front of a large log cabin with a sign that reads "Welcome! Office check-in inside!"

It has an image of Bonnie waving while wearing a ranger hat and a sky blue Hawaiian shirt with pine trees and camp fires on it. It looks cute. The three of you climb out of the glorified golf cart.

Sun rolls the gravel under his foot "Ooo! I like that sound!"

Moon helps you out of the cart and Sun take the luggage.

The driver bot holds out a map "TAKE A MAP!" It screams very loudly.

You make a mental note to put this on your list of things to change/fix. The map has a cabin circled on it. It has the same number as the key in your pocket. The cart drives away leaving the three of you alone. You walk up to the main office and try the door. Locked.

You look back down at the map "Let's go find our cabin. After that we can explore the area."

Moon slides a hand around your waist "Or, we can finally take you as your husbands. Show you why you made the right choice. In the bath, in the kitchen, outside."

Sun takes the map from you "It's not far. Lets go!"

The walk to Cabin #21, as stated on the key, takes fifteen minutes. You hope the cart will take people to their cabin. Not that the walk is hard but customer satisfaction. Another thing for the list.

The cabin looks like it came out of a Yogi Bear cartoon. Around the back is a hot tub and fire pit. You wonder if you can use the tub.

As you walk up to the door Moon stops you. "Wait! We need to carry you across the threshold!"

You are about to say something when Sun and Moon pick you up together. They carry you sideways into the cabin. Inside looks like someone took a Cabellas, threw it into a blender, and dumped it into the house.

It has leather couch with buffalo plaid pillows, faux fur rug, and a TV over a fire place. The kitchen is big enough to fit two people. It has a bar for eating. The bathroom has a big shower with a seat but no tub. The bed is a California king. Big enough for the boys. Good.

Moon stalks up behind you and pins you to the bed "You are ours now starlight. Inside or outside?"

Sun pouts "I want to cum inside not out!"

You nod "Cum inside."

Moon chuckles "Not what I was asking."

You wiggle your hips into his groin "Inside then. I wanna fuck you outside tonight."

Sun giggles "Two times? Really sunshine?"

You nod "It's a start!"

[fakeloveaskblog]

(Hi, me again.)

I’ll hold of on anything life ending until I get Remus’s permission but I will cause every lamppost, tree, bush, postbox and bin to move into his path so he walks into them. And every car door to open as he goes past to once again hit him. And make all traffic lights take forever to change. And make the ground really uneven so he keeps twisting his ankles as he walks. And get lots of birds to poop on him. And when he gets home, mess with his house key so it doesn’t quite fit in the door without lots of effort and frustration. And when he finally gets inside, warp his door’s so they don’t open or close without pulling or pushing then really hard. And make lots of creaky floorboards. And move all the furniture two centimetres to the left so everything feels slightly off, and he constantly stubs his toe on things. And make lumps in his mattress. And make all the taps either run to hot or to cold, and either a tiny trickle or a massive spray. And make all the floors slightly slippery, not enough to constantly fall over but enough that you’re constantly worried you might. And make his duvet slightly to small so his feet will stick out the end when he lies down. And make all his food taste slightly different, not rotten but different. And add a device in the walls that will randomly play Spring by Vivaldi at full volume for about twenty seconds before stopping, and it moves around so he can never find it.

I think that’s probably enough for now. I had way to much fun coming up with minor inconveniences for Oswald. Happy April fools! Anyway after setting all these things up I’ll check on Remus and see how he’s doing.

(By the way you don’t have to write Os reacting to all the things I did. I’m content to imagine his not so silently cursing me as he deals with all of my shenanigans.)

Glow Eyes

Shortly after Janus and Remy had helped Remus back to his apartment he fell into a weak slumber. He went in and out of sleep, tossing and turning on the living room couch. The shock of seeing his abuser had made him exhausted to the point of passing out but his body was too on edge to let him sleep peacefully.

Remy had opened a window and was sitting right next to it so they could could smoke. Janus sat beside them and was doing the wordle of the day because when he got stressed doing puzzles helped him stay calm.

Neither of them spoke. Partially because they didn't want to wake Remus but mostly because just sitting next to each other was enough for them. Eventually Janus got up and got a book before sitting down next to his partner again. Remy cuddled up against him and watched as he turned one page after the other while they heard his heart beat.

Remus' eyes suddenly opened but he stayed still for a long time after that. Janus noticed but his boyfriend didn't look like he was panicking so they decided not to disturb unless he said something.

"Can we have ice cream today?" Remus asked after nearly half an hour of silence.

Remy jumped out of surprise. They looked as if they were ready for him to burst into tears any second now. "I mean it's like your place. You got any ice cream?"

"Unless there's any monsters out we should be able to go out and buy some. And if there are we can go buy ice cream And kill monsters. Double win"

Janus sat their book aside and smiled lightly "The evening sun is quite warm. Darling you got enough spoons to go out on a walk?"

"Think so" Remy replied.

"I'd remembered his eye color wrong" Remus blurted out "I remembered them as much more blue.....I didn't even hear his voice, what if I'm remembering that wrong too" A shaky breathe of relief left his lips "I hope I can one day remember all of him as wrong. Just a fuzzy fucking stupid memory"

"One day" Janus got up and stood by the couch. They meet their boyfriend's eyes but let him move first.

Remus hugged his partner. His arms snaking around their waist as he leant his head against their stomach and Janus in returned ran their fingers through his hair. They saw as he closed his eyes and felt as he pressed his arms around them ever so slightly harder. Remy sat down next to him and quietly leant against his back until he let out some tiny notion of their name to which they pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, right where his spine stuck out.

"I love you two" Remus murmured out "Like- Like how vultures love corpses"

"Yeah I know" "How could you not love me" The other two replied almost instantly. Before both adding "I love you so so so much babe!!" "Darling I love you too"

"Seeing him was...horrible...so am I fucked in the head if I say I....I feel...not better but....less....scared?"

"How so?" Janus replied in a soft tone.

"I dunno. It just- it's like....Closure I guess"

"I get that babe" Remy said "Getting to say goodbye to Viv instead of like having to just run away helped I think. I mean it's not I know how I woulda felt otherwise but I imagine I would have felt even more like unsure"

"Yeah..It felt like.....He can't touch me anymore....Cause I know you two would...would keep me safe" Remus' voice went a bit shaky as if just saying it aloud made him feel all warm and fuzzy from happiness.

"Oh girlie I was fully ready to destroy that man's entire cock and balls"

"I would create the most insidious of traps to make him suffer"

It made Remus chuckle lightly "And you still got that contact with that psych right? Who I can like go talk to?"

"Picani? 'Course girlie. I can call him about like getting you a session any time"

"Okay!" Remus took a deep breathe like he was hyping himself up before exclaiming "You two wanna go get that ice cream now?"

"Sure!"

"Of course dear"

Remus pouted while making grabby hands for the both of them to which both Janus and Remy kissed him. Janus made some snarky joke about Remus stealing their partner so Remy kissed them as well.

That night the three of them all cuddled up together under the warm covers of the bed. Even if it took them all, and especially Remus, a while to fall asleep none of them had any bad dreams that night.

--

This is the last part before the end. If you want to send any last asks to any of the characters before the epilogue this is your chance.

[uppermocns-moved]

if you’re taking requests maybe roadtrips with eren, jean, armin and connie?

road trips

oh my god this is the greatest idea i’ve ever heard. 

eren, jean, armin, connie + road trips

(going on a road trip with all four of them at the end)

cw: fairly gender-neutral, modernverse, weed references

𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻 𝗷𝗮𝗲𝗴𝗲𝗿

eren insists on driving the whole time, no matter how long the trip is.

his phone is plugged into the aux because “my car, my rules” but he doesn’t complain when you unlock his phone and start picking songs. 

forcing him to pull into a drive-through so he can eat real food, not just the 44 oz of mountain dew and monster energy he got from the gas station before you left.

hand-feeding him french fries.

playing i spy when it’s too dark to see anything, or on long highway stretches where the scenery doesn’t change. 

“i spy... something blue.” “is it the sky?” “you’re so good at this, babe.”

it’s very easy to talk him into impulsive detours, even if they’re in the opposite direction – he may be the one driving, but he’s relying solely on you for instructions. just tell him where you’re going and he’ll take you there.

“___ is only a two hour drive from here! we should go!” “yeah? okay.” 

driving with the windows down and enjoying the cool nighttime air.

car-camping in national parks – putting the seats down in the back and throwing together your bed for the night, sitting on the hood of his car to look at the stars with no light pollution, getting baked and watching a dumb show off his phone before going to sleep. 

at this point, eren realizes he forgot to pack his phone charger so you’ve gotta share.

getting breakfast together. eren’s not a morning person, but he can’t be grumpy when you’re looking so cute and sleepy in one of his hoodies. 

eren driving with one hand on the wheel and the other holding yours, occasionally lifting it up for a kiss as a silent thank you for being there with him. as if you’d dream of being anywhere else. 

𝗷𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗸𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗶𝗻

listening to the radio to keep things spontaneous, usually the classic rock stations. 

jean taking his hands off the wheel because he needs to air-bass along.

listening to true crime podcasts when the radio cuts out – it’s funny watching jean’s face twist up in disgust during crime scene details, and sometimes he yells in response as if the podcasters can hear him. you also play detective about who you think did it – loser buys food at the next stop. 

music keeps things energetic at the start, but podcasts keep his mind stimulated when he’s been driving for a while. 

the original plan is to split the driving, but you end up falling asleep with your face smushed against the window and jean doesn’t have the heart to wake you up. he doesn’t mind driving the rest of the way.

stopping for food every couple of hours to make sure you’re both eating properly, not just snacks. you do have plenty of snacks, though. 

jean going "uh – excuse me” whenever you open a bag of something and sticking his hand out. he’s like a dad, he always needs a handful of whatever you’re having. sharing is caring. 

jean always packs a lot of unnecessary things, and he will reserve the right to say i told you so when his double-hammock comes in handy.

limited stops along the way (minus food/gas/bathroom) – getting there relatively early means you can relax in the hotel room and maybe explore/go out for dinner later that night.  

when you take over driving, jean is a big window-watcher and takes a lot of pictures of the mountains/scenery. 

already making plans on cool things you can do on the way back, when you have no time restraints – day trips, scenic rest stops, hikes, etc. 

𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗲𝗿𝘁

stopping at a starbucks first-thing to get drinks for the road (he makes sure to get some food too so you’re not just running off a venti iced coffee)

splitting the driving – armin is the better (and calmer) navigator so you usually take the first and final shift. 

dozens of cute polaroids to put in your adventure scrapbook

researches fun (and romantic) things you can do when you get to your destination and reads them aloud to you. you come up with a plan together. that waterfall hike sounded really fun. 

armin takes lots of videos because he likes making little montages for his socials

you’re in control of the music. armin likes when you show him new artists – he’ll slowly nod his head along and inevitably add the songs to his spotify. he really likes snail mail. 

he takes over driving when you get tired – he likes holding your hand when he drives, or sometimes you’ll lean over and rest your hand on his thigh.

armin trying not to melt when you put on one of his hoodies for warmth – you have your own, but his are comfier and they smell like him. 

silly games to pass time like i spy or looking for different license plates. it’s fun until armin gets clever and spies things like the mile marker from 10 miles back. 

you insist you aren’t going to fall asleep because you wanna keep him company, but you end up curling into your pillow and dozing off mid-conversation. it’s adorable, and he doesn’t mind. he’ll usually turn on a podcast or an audiobook. 

armin stays awake the whole time but it catches up with him once you reach your destination – all he wants to do is cuddle and rest up

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿

leaving a day in advance or very early in the morning because you stop at every tourist attraction along the way.

scenic lookout? let’s go there. world’s biggest ball of yarn? fuck, count me in. meteor craters? already merging onto the exit. dinosaur bones? you read my mind. 

picking up cool souvenirs along the way like geodes and stickers to put on his water bottle. maybe a funky lil alien to hang from the rearview mirror, along with his 20 tree air fresheners. 

taking cute, cheesy pictures of and with each other – connie posing with his arms out like he’s holding the mountain, standing in front of national park signs, etc. 

you collaborated on a road-trip playlist in advance (it’s 12 hours long)

somehow you end up listening to veggie tales or absolutely losing it until the car starts rocking to britney spears

"i love this song” to every song, as if he didn’t put it on the playlist 

listening to connie sing along and butcher all the lyrics. impressive falsetto, though. 

arsenal of snacks – more than you realistically need

screaming every time you see a new “welcome to ___” sign

“WELCOME TO ___!” “WOOOOOO!”

connie rocking the socks with slides. it’s comfortable. 

pulling through drive throughs every once in a while for food, continuously forgetting to throw out the trash bag from your last stop. 

𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺

stopping at the gas station to fill up the gas tank and stock up on snacks for the road – almost everything from the candy aisle, giant bags of doritos, slushies, energy drinks. nobody really thinks to get actual food.

the driving is split between eren “i’m serious, pull the fucking car over or i’m gonna piss myself, jean” jaeger and jean “eren stop honking my fucking horn, traffic won’t go any faster” kirstein. armin is the navigator because they’ll both get everyone lost.

everyone has their turn with the aux cord – until connie cracks himself up playing the same song over and over, then you have to pry it from eren’s cold, dead hands.

so many pictures

impulsive stops at tourist attractions.

playing dumb games to pass the time (quickly turns into replacing one word on each sign with “poop” because they’re all a bunch of children).

finally stopping at a diner later that night for real food

making it to the campsite and setting up tents and hammocks

getting baked around the campfire and telling spooky stories

connie complaining and scaring himself while he wanders off into the dark forest to find a spot to piss

smores (ofc)

going on group hikes and jumping into lakes/down waterfalls together. video of jean belly-flopping.

[grasslandgirl]

FALLING for you

It was an accident. Really. Katja was tall, and she’d always been more comfortable on horseback than on her own feet. So when a root sticking out of the ground caught on her boot while she was walking home from school with Ostentatia; it was an inevitability that Katja would trip. And take Ostentatia down with her. And somehow, through a feat of physics Katja didn’t understand, ended up sprawled on her back with Ostentatia on top of her- their faces mere inches apart.

Katja stared. Ostentatia stared back. Katja didn’t think about how she could smell Ostentatia’s strawberry lip gloss, the Love Spell perfume she reapplied at lunch, the oregano hair rinse her Nonna made her use every weekend. Ostentatia blinked down at Katja. Katja was sure she was bright red and probably smelled like the stables (the bad stables smell, like dirt and sweat and poop- not the good stables smell of fresh hay and Cinnamon’s special cinnamon-scented mane conditioner). 

Ostentatia sat up, rolling off of Katja and sitting down on the grass beside her. Katja closed her eyes for a moment, staying sprawled out on her back. Her stomach was one big knot and she could still feel Ostentatia watching her. Her knee was right next to Katja’s ribs, and if either of them moved even an inch, they would be touching. Katja opened her eyes again, looking up at the blue sky through the branches of the tree above her.

She sat up. Ostentatia was still staring at her, mouth pursed up tiny and determined. 

"I- I'm sorry-" Katja started to say.

Ostentatia shoved her hand out towards Katja's face, holding one finger in front of her face to silence her. "Don't say you're sorry." Ostentatia commanded, and Katja's mouth snapped shut. She tried very hard not to think about how close Ostentatia's hand was to her mouth. She tried not to think about how close Ostentatia’s mouth had been to hers a minute ago. This is just how Ostentatia, Katja told herself, she's loud and she's pushy and she goes into my personal space because she cares about me- like a friend. That's it. "Don't apologize to me," Ostentatia continued, scowling up at Katja. "You did not to anything wrong."

"But I-"

"No!" Ostentatia interrupted again, "I need to tell you something! And I'm going to say it!"   

Katja nodded, mute with worry. Ostentatia stood, unspeaking. Her eyes bored holes into Katja. Her jaw trembled, even as she glared, and Katja worried for a second that Ostentatia was about to cry.

Ostentatia crying was the third worst thing Katja could think of, after Cinnamon dying or her Dad being upset. Katja very pointedly did not think about the connecting factor between those three things. If Ostentatia started crying, than Katja was going to start crying too, and then Ostentatia would be upset she'd made Katja cry, and then Penny would appear out of nowhere- she had a weird sixth sense ability to tell whenever one of them was crying- and the weird moment would be broken.

Katja didn't think about how pretty Ostentatia still managed to look- even when she cried. Tears streaming down her face in clean lines, eyes sparkling even as she glared at someone or something, nose turning bright red. Katja always ended up with a lot of snot over her face, and that wasn't a good look for anyone but Cinnamon (who looked beautiful always and forever no matter the circumstances).

Katja wondered what was so important or so bad that Ostentatia couldn't bring herself to say it aloud- even to her. There were only a few things that Ostentatia struggled to say (that was one of the things Katja lo- liked the most about her; how Ostentatia wasn't ever afraid to say what she thought)- not like Katja, who still felt the most comfortable talking to Cinnamon.

"I'm going to say it." Ostentatia repeated, but it sounded more like she was saying it to herself this time, not to Katja. Her finger was still an inch away from Katja's lips. Katja still wasn't thinking about it. Ostentatia had really pretty hands, too: perfect nails with real gems on them, she and her mom had a regular appointment to get them done together every month. One time, Ostentatia invited Katja to go with them, but Katja didn't end up going- it's hard to set up horse tack with inch-long acrylics. (Even if Ostentatia said her nail tech could totally do a horse design if Katja wanted. Even though Ostentatia had taken Katja's hand in her own and told her she had nice nail beds. Even though Ostentatia's hands had been warm and gentle on hers.) Katja blinked. Ostentatia was scowling.

Back before they were The Maidens, back before they were friends, Katja had thought that Ostentatia's scowl was the scariest thing in the world (after the thought of Cinnamon getting hurt or dying, of course). But, Katja realized with a little bit of pride, she knew Ostentatia well enough now to know this wasn't her pissed-off-at-You scowl, this was her pissed-off-at-Me scowl.

"I'm gonna say it," Ostentatia said for the third time, almost murmuring it. Her perfectly-manicured eyebrows were low over her eyes, jaw set and determined.

"I love you," Ostentatia whispered.

Katja's heart fell out of her chest.

Ostentatia wasn't one who was afraid of telling people she loved them- she did it often, loudly, and with pride. But this was different. This wasn't how Ostentatia said it to the other maidens, or even how Katja had overheard her say it to her family. This was quiet, an intention behind the words that Katja was terrified to put a name to. 

Ostentatia huffed, blowing a small strand of hair out of her face. "I mean like- whatever, I love you. Like. Eugh-" she finally took her hand away from Katja's face, gesturing with both of her arms wildly- "Like love you, okay! Like, Zelda and her weirdo boyfriend, like Danielle and Antiope, like Sam and that fucking bitch Aelwyn. Like- like you. Okay??" Ostentatia's voice rose in pitch and volume as she talked, but behind all her bravado, Katja saw something she'd never seen in Ostentatia before- uncertainty.

Oh.

"Oh." She breathed, and like she was waiting for any response from Katja, Ostentatia froze- arms hanging in the air, mid-gesture.

"Oh?" Ostentatia echoed. Her voice was angry, but her eyes were still uncertain, even- afraid.

"I, uh, like- love you too." Katja mumbled. She'd read a lot of the romance-centric books in the Babysitter's Horse series (even written some stories of her own for some of them, but that wasn't here or there-) but nothing Katja had ever read could have prepared her for how hard it was to say it aloud. "Uh, I didn't know that- but you just- and I don't know how to. Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Uh. Did you want to-" Katja racked her brain for something cool or romantic to say. (In most of the Babysitter's Horse books, they went and got hay from the same trough together- or even sugar cubes in some of the later, teen editions- but Katja didn't think Ostentatia would want to do that.) "Get ice cream? From Basrars? With me? Just me- not the other girls? Or, I mean, if you wanted to invite them too we can if you want to, but I thought maybe we could-"

"Yes." Ostentatia was twisting one of her rings around her finger- a nervous tic- but she was smiling up at Katja. She had a really pretty smile, and it made something go mushy and warm in Katja's stomach to realize that it was her that was making Ostentatia smile like that. "Yes. Basrar's. A date."

"Oh. Okay. Cool." A date. 

"Okay," Ostentatia said definitively. She took Katja's hand in her own- warm, with callouses on her palm and cool metal rings on her fingers. "Let's go." Ostentatia tugged Katja to her feet. 

“Ostentatia?” Katja hated how her voice wavered, hated how even in this wonderful, important moment, she still shook with uncertainty. She turned, raised an imperious eyebrow; but there was still that warm smile on her mouth, her hand around Katja’s- and that was enough to bolster Katja’s courage. “I wanted to kiss you. Earlier. When we-” Katja felt like her face was on fire- “and also. Before then. A lot. So.” She grimaced, looking down at Ostentatia’s warm hand still tight around hers. “Sorry, I’m not good at this.”

“Katja.” Ostentatia took a step closer. Katja could see her pristine Fantasy Uggs in the grass. “Look at me.” How was Katja supposed to ignore that? She did, tugging her gaze away from their interwoven fingers. Ostentatia’s smile was a blinding, burning thing, spread across her face. Katja had heard her talk about her god’s Holy Forge before- how it had burned impossibly hot for centuries, how no mere mortal could look upon it without Logran’s blessing or their face would get burned off- Katja thought that’s what Ostentatia’s smile looked like. So beautiful she was scared she would go blind from the force of it. “You’re good at this. You’re good at a lot of stuff. Don’t shit talk my girlfriend like that.”

“Girlfriend-?” Katja squeaked. 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay.” 

“And for the record? I thought about kissing you, too.” Ostentatia tipped her head, huffing as though she’d just won an argument. Katja beamed. “So there. Can we go get ice cream and make out now?”

“Ye- yeah. Yes. Let’s go.” Katja held Ostentatia’s hand the whole way to Basrar’s- and she didn’t trip once.

[guqin-and-flute]

And A-Fu Makes 4--Ch. 3

[Happy belated birthday, Jingyi! 🥳]

[Ao3 Link]

Things got a little better in school. Not too much. What they were learning was so boring that paying attention didn’t really make it better even when he did use his new rocks so his ears woke up. His ears just didn’t like what they were hearing. When Yellow-Father visited the Cloud Recesses and gathered him up and asked him all smiley what his favorite thing from class today was, A-Fu scowled. “When I leaved. ”

Yellow-Father’s eyebrows went crinkly. “An education like this is a great privilege, Fufu. You’re very lucky.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t feel lucky. Not never.”

His father’s crinkles turned into a little frown and he said, all serious, “There are a great many people who never get to go to school, let alone have the life you’re going to have.”

“Then they’re the lucky ones.”

After that, Yellow-Father closed his eyes and took a deep breath before smiling and asking if he found any good bugs lately--which was such good timing because A-Fu had ! He got to show Yellow-Father the little house he had made for them in the back garden with mud and sticks and a couple rocks--unfortunately, only a couple had actually stayed inside. And maybe that was because they were too busy sleeping on their backs with their legs all curled up but that was okay, because he held them up all proud and Yellow-Father agreed that yes, they were a very nice find and now he could go and wash his hands. 

What actually really started to make school lucky was that they began going outside to train and use their practice swords more. A-Yuan may have been good at everything else and just a little bigger than him, but A-Fu was starting to feel great when he got to swing his sword around all strong and fast like his fathers. Up until now, no one at Cloud Recesses had let him whack anything, practically--it was all ‘hold it like this�� and ‘bow like this’ and ‘etiquette etiquette etiquette’. Blah blah blegh. Just another thing to forget. But A-Fu was finding out that his body was pretty good at remembering things, even if his brain wasn’t, and one time, even the teacher passed by and nodded, saying, “Just like that, Lan Fu,” and the sun came up in his chest all sparkly and happy. 

He grinned over at A-Yuan, who was concentrating really hard on swinging straight down and didn’t see him, but it was totally okay, because the teacher had told him that he was good! He was doing so good!

After class, he ran all the way home through the sun coming down through the trees to the Hanshi and told the whole entire thing to Blue-Father about 5 times as they walked to the secret bunny patch in the woods. He even stopped on the path to stand with his practice sword to show him his stance and everything. “I’m so proud of you,” Blue-Father had said with a wide, warm smile, waiting for him to catch back up. “You’ve been working very hard.”

“I have! Watch, watch--I can do it so fast! So much faster than A-Yuan! I’m gonna kill all the bad guys!”

Blue-Father shook his head, still smiling, turning to walk beside him with Shuoyue held behind his back. “We should use our swords to protect people.”

Right away, A-Fu copied him, holding his practice sword behind him with his shoulders all straight and his chest puffed out. Their footsteps crunched on the white rocks, every once in a while matching up on a step. A-Fu tried to make them match more, but Blue-Father’s legs were too long. “Yeah, from bad guys that I’m gonna kill! When is the next war?” he asked, looking up at his blue father, all calm and tall against the trees. “Are we gonna win it?”

“Wars are not scheduled, silly boy. Nor should we wish for them.” He held out his hand--A-Fu switched his sword hand and took it as they kept walking. “Your die’s have fought very hard to give you a world free of war.”

What? That was the worst news! “No more wars ? How is people supposed to be heroes, then? That’s not fair, all you got to be heroes! Die, you shouldn’t have ruined it for the rest of us.”

Blue-Father gave a small hum of laughter through his nose before looking down at him with a smaller smile, shaking his head again. “In truth, wars aren’t about glory or heroes. A good leader sees them as a last resort, not something to seek out. The ones who suffer the most are the people who cannot protect themselves and those left behind--and so we dedicate ourselves to the service of those who need us. That should be your goal if you want to be a hero, not the killing. It's what your Uncle Wangji does, when he can. He is known for being where the chaos is.” He looked out into the deep green of the forest shadows. “There is nothing wrong with a peaceful life.”

A-Fu rolled his eyes and leaned way over, hanging from Blue-Father’s hand. “Boooring. I wanna fight--kshh kshh ksshhew!” he added really loud as he reached out to beat up a rock right next to the path, whacking it so loud ‘tok’s echoed around them, scaring a squirrel up a branch.

Blue-Father’s hand squeezed and tugged him back carefully. “A-Fu, don’t treat your sword that way, use it with respect.” 

Sulkily, A-Fu stuck it behind his back again. 

“And you will have plenty of opportunities to fight, in the life we lead. What’s more important is to have empathy and kindness. Ah, Wangji.” He nodded to him as they finally stepped into the little meadow, bunnies hopping up eagerly to see if they had treats in their pockets. “A-Yuan!” He added with delight as A-Yuan raced up and grabbed onto his thigh with a big grin.

Excited, A-Fu pulled his hand away and wrapped around his other leg, linking his feet behind his heel. “Walk! Walk!” he hollered and so Blue-Father did, walking with careful straight leg steps all around the bunny patch while they both giggled into each others faces when they swung by and the little white puffballs of rabbits scattered in front of them.

A-Fu loved playing near the rabbit hutches with his family--it smelled like sweet hay the rabbits ate and the clean water smell of the stream nearby which made cheerful noises. Some sun came through the thick leaves, but not a ton, so it was green and shady, even on sticky hot days. The grass was thick and fun to jump around and dance and wrestle on. 

After 3 times around the whole meadow, Blue-Father shooed them off so he could sit, and A-Fu shyly went with A-Yuan over to go say hi to Uncle Wangji where he sat watching them with a guqin on his knees and a bunny nestled in the corner of his thigh. A-Fu showed him that he still had his rocks from school, tucked in his inner pockets, snug and warm. Uncle Wangji nodded with a little smile and A-Fu felt all shiny and bubbly and thought that this was maybe one of the best days ever. He sat right next to him, leaning on his leg, and told him what songs he wanted them to play when Blue-Father took out his xiao. The grownups played lots of music while they were there; dancey ones and pretty ones and boring ones they played all slow and sad. It was nice because the music was kept close by all the huge trees, like a private recital. A-Fu danced with A-Yuan to the fast ones, pretended to be underwater for the slow ones, then chased the bunnies around when there were too many of those--until A-Yuan made him stop.

Eventually, though, fathers started talking in between the songs, and that got long enough that the instruments just stayed in their laps and A-Fu got bored. Then, he had the greatest idea. He grabbed A-Yuan’s hand and pulled him up so his special speckley rabbit hopped out of his lap. (A-Fu had named it Poop-Eater and A-Yuan had named it Turnip and they both would not use each other’s name--A-Fu because he thought it was lame and A-Yuan because he thought it was gross--even though it was true , because he did eat poop, A-Fu had seen it.) Dragging A-Yuan over to where the grass was long and soft and pretty un-nibbled, he said, “Let’s do a dueling!”

A-Yuan held out his arms wide, showing him in his sleeves. “But I don’t have my practice sword.” 

“Hmph. Well, okay, I have mine...so the duel is who can swing the sword the best. You go first.”

A-Yuan scrunched his face up and looked back at where Blue-Father and Uncle Wangji were chatting quietly about something, both petting the sleeping bunnies in their laps. “Do I gotta? I’m playing in bunnies and I'm tired.”

“Yes, we gotta, for really real! We can play in bunnies after!”

After one more longing look at the rabbits, A-Yuan sighed. “Okay.”

They practiced, back and forth and back and forth, and since A-Fu was so good in class, he was able to tell his cousin that his hands weren’t holding it right. Then, that his feet weren’t right, and then that he wasn’t swinging it fast enough or straight enough. It felt great to be the one in charge, the one who knew all the right answers, for once. Eventually, he rolled his eyes and asked, all smug, “Did you even pay attention in class? It’s not that hard. Are you trying at all?”

Right away, he knew he messed up. 

A-Yuan’s face got all wobbly and red and his eyes went shiny. He dropped the sword and ran to Uncle Wangji sobbing, saying that A-Fu was being mean to him. A-Fu’s tummy dropped into his feet like when he had jumped off the too high wall. He ran to go hide behind his father--but, of course, he didn’t let him. Blue-Father found his hand and tugged him to his feet and made him stand up straight and tell them what happened. Uncle Wangji sat on the grass and held A-Yuan under his chin and listened to A-Fu explain with a quiet face that didn’t show what he was thinking at all. “I wasn’t making fun of him! We were playing!” There was a long silence, and A-Fu squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears. “I’m not lying!”

Blue-Father’s even voice said, “Then tell us, A-Fu.”

Desperately, A-Fu looked up at him where he stood, still covering his ears. He was looking down at him with a serious face, eyebrows raised. He wouldn’t let Uncle Wangji yell at him.

...Right? 

“Diedie… ”

“We need to take responsibility for the hurt we have caused. There is no getting out of it.”

“You were making fun of me,” A-Yuan sniffed, all miserable, turning in Uncle Wangji’s lap to look at him. 

Everyone else was looking at him, too, and A-Fu got all hot and squirmy and ashamed because now everyone was mad and hated him. “I was just...I was teaching him...he wasn’t doing it right…” he whispered, his eyes all blurry. 

He just wanted to be good at something. Why was he in trouble for being better than A-Yuan at something when A-Yuan had so many other things he was better at? It wasn't fair.

Uncle Wangji looked at A-Yuan, whose lip trembled as he said in a voice like a wobbly guqin string, “But you said it so mean.”

“I didn’t! That’s how they teach me !” A-Fu cried, pulling his hand down from his ear to scrub at his tears.

“Do you know it is wrong?” Uncle Wangji’s voice was quiet--which definitely wasn't yelling but it sure felt like it.

A-Fu just covered his face and didn’t say anything.

“Should you do it, if you are aware?”

“...No.”

Blue-Father knelt down beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You know that this is not how we treat people. You need to practice empathy--think of how he is feeling. If it hurts you, it will hurt him. What do we say to A-Yuan?”

When A-Fu looked back at A-Yuan, seeing him still crying made A-Fu start crying again, which made A-Yuan start crying again and they hugged and A-Fu said he was so so sorry and he would never ever say anything mean to him ever again. A-Yuan forgave him right away, like he always did and hugged him back super tight. A-Fu saw Blue-Father smile a little at Uncle Wangji--who gave a teeny smile back. (A-Fu was getting better at being able to see them. They were there! Just quieter.) Then they both curled up on Blue-Father’s lap and played with the bunnies while Uncle Wangji played more nice songs on the guqin and things just all got so much better. 

‘Empathy’ was a Blue-Father word--A-Fu noticed it popping up, like Blue-Father kept it in his pocket. Whenever he yelled when he got too mad or did something without thinking or talked before his mind caught up, it was ‘empathy empathy empathy’. Maybe it was his favorite or something.

Some of his other grown ups had pocket words, too--Great-Uncle Qiren’s was ‘Prohibited’ or ‘Impertinent’ and Yellow-Father’s was ‘Careful’. When A-Fu started looking, he kept noticing it more and more--when he played with A-Qiang a little too rough or balanced on the edge of the koi pond, he got a 'careful'. When he ran around right after a bath, he got a “Fufu, careful! ”

One time, he got a ton of ‘carefuls’ in a row, when he was in Koi Tower and he snuck out behind the nanny’s backs again. He went around and around in the halls to lose them until he was almost dizzy and when he finally stopped, he realized he didn’t recognize anything--there were no windows and more doors than usual,  dark and sturdy. The walls didn’t have as many fancy curlicues and dangly bits as the rest of Koi Tower, more plain blue with just some gold circles studding the pillars every once in a while. Well. A-Fu just had no idea where this was. 

He wasn’t worried, though, because when he poked his head around a corner, he spotted Yellow-Father facing away, talking to a black and gold someone in a doorway, so he dashed down the hall and catapulted into his father’s legs and yelled a hello with a big grin. It wasn’t until he looked up at his father’s face that he noticed he wasn’t smiling back like he usually was. His expression was all tight and unhappy, his eyes darting between A-Fu and the man he was talking to. 

The man was smiling down at him, though. But his eyes weren't friendly--they were dark and... waiting. They glittered like a snake and A-Fu even liked snakes--but he was pretty sure that people shouldn’t have the same sort of eyes.

Yellow-Father’s hand squeezed his shoulder as he tried to turn him around quick. “Fufu, you are not allowed down here, you need to--”

But A-Fu spotted something and he squirmed back around in his hands. “Why do you have that?” He pointed at the man’s hand where it sat on his hip with only the pinky covered by the black leather of his glove. “That’s weird.”

“Lan Fu-- ” 

The fact that Yellow-Father just full-named him flew out of his head because A-Fu decided right then and there that he didn’t like this guy when he said, “Wow, you’re a rude little shit, aren’t you?” Then, the stranger man tilted his head, his wide, weird smile growing wider and weirder. “Ooooh, is this Er-ge’s spawn?” 

A-Fu jutted his chin forward and folded his arms. “No, I’m--”

“That’s enough. I think you have somewhere to be,” Yellow-Father said. And A-Fu froze, looking up at him with wide eyes. Because Yellow-Father was never rude, no matter what--but his voice had been rough and cold like ice and he was staring at the snake eyed man. And he was finally smiling; all hard like a warning. 

For some reason, that seemed funny to Snake Eye Guy and his teeth peeked through. “You’re not even going to introduce us?”

“No.” Yellow-Father took A-Fu by both shoulders and turned him, marching him right back down the hall.

“Rude. Do you like sweets, brat?” Snake Eye Guy called after them.

A-Fu scowled back over his shoulder as Yellow-Father kept steering him in front down the hallway, almost tripping him on his feet. “Yeah,” he said, super tough, just like Gray-Father would. “Why?”

“Come find me if you ever want any.” Then, he laughed, delighted when Yellow-Father’s fingers tightened on his shoulder like claws. “Oh, what, Lianfang-zun? What do you think I’m going to do to him? It’s just candy.” His mocking followed them around the corner A-Fu had to take at a jog.

Yellow-Father had hustled them down the strange corridors until they found the sun again. He was still squeezing until A-Fu yelped that he was squishing his bones out, and he let go right away. When he stopped to kneel down and rub them, he started scolding with a worried frown, “Fufu, you cannot keep doing this. You need to stay with your nannies and out of places that are not meant for you. You have to be more careful.”

A-Fu just wanted to know who that guy was and why his hand was like that and why he was so weird and why was Yellow-Father so mad at him and did he really have candy?

And Yellow-Father wouldn’t answer any of his questions at all. He just kept saying, so serious, that A-Fu could never be around him again or talk about him and that he needed to be careful. And usually A-Fu was annoyed at new rules, but this one seemed to make sense. It would also be pretty easy to follow, because he gave him the creeps and he didn't really want to have to talk to him again. But he still wanted to know-- “Why?”

“He’s not someone a child should be around. If he ever tries to talk to you again, you come and find me right away, Fufu. Do you promise me?”

“Who was he?”

“Do you promise ?”

A-Fu had to think. “Yeah. Why?”

“Just...don’t worry about him. You shouldn’t see him again, but if you do, leave at once.”

“Are you mad? Why can’t I talk about him?”

“...Because it would be gossip. Gossip is forbidden.”

A-Fu guessed that made sense. Maybe. He reached up and grabbed Yellow-Father’s hat dangly, asking, “Are you mad? Are you mad at me?”

Yellow-Father sighed and rubbed his face and then finally smiled at him, all squinchy and small and harassed. “No. No, I’m not mad. I’m sorry.” He pulled A-Fu in close and squeezed, kissing his forehead.

“Is he a bad guy?” A-Fu asked Yellow-Father’s neck. “I can beat him up for you, I’m getting really good at swords.”

Yellow-Father huffed out a breath and smoothed A-Fu’s hair down. “I’m sure you are. But no. Just...just be more careful. Don’t come here again. Stay with your nannies.”

“Why? Careful what?”

Yellow-Father pulled back and rubbed his temple. “It’s time to go back, now--and no more escaping! You can’t be so naughty, what are you going to do to my heart, making me worry? I’m going to have to have a talk with your nannies….”

If ‘Careful’ was Yellow-Father’s pocket word, maybe one of Gray-Father’s pocket words was the grownup word 'Conviction'. A-Fu first learned about it when he went to stay at the Unclean Realm for a whole entire month in the summer. 

It was so much fun--he went into town with Uncle Huaisang a lot and hid in the sweet smelling fabric at the silk shops and got a little toy fan, just like Uncle Huaisang’s. Almost every day they went down and both got candied hawthorn sticks as they walked around and looked at things. A-Fu’s favorites were the toy stands--he got pinwheels for him and A-Yuan and A-Ling and A-Kui. He tried to get them in all the Clan Colors but they didn’t have red, so he got A-Kui yellow, too.

Sometimes, though, they would go into the forest and find a little stream where Uncle Huaisang would tie up their sleeves and they would try to catch fish with their hands. Uncle Huaisang was really bad at it and A-Fu told him so. He got so offended that he splashed him and got his robes all wet. And one day, they followed a little blue bird for-ev-er until A-Fu started complaining and scared it away. Uncle Huaisang had paid him in candy to not repeat any of the words he yelled at the sky as it flew off above the trees. Oh well. A-Fu liked hunting for things on the ground more anyway, like frogs or turtles. They couldn’t fly away and they were easy to stuff in his pockets or his sleeves. One time, he brought back, like, five toads and Gray-Father said the same bad words as Uncle Huaisang when they got on his important letters. From then on, toads were banned from the Unclean Realm, which made A-Fu grumpy. But at least he still had the 3 salamanders he found and he was learning new vocabulary words, like he did for school.

Other times, he would help weed and water the vegetable garden out behind Uncle Huaisang’s room. They had planted it together the last time that A-Fu had stayed a million years ago and things were still growing--but there were a couple beans and lettuce and carrots he got to munch on after they rinsed them off. It was kind of boring, but he got to look for worms and eat, so it wasn’t so bad.

Nie Zonghui, Gray-Father’s second in command, always had a nice smile and showed him how he could use his double sabers, which was the coolest thing next to Baxia. Now that he actually knew things about swords, A-Fu followed him around a lot when he was doing practice drills in the training yard with all the pink flower trees around it, copying his moves with sticks, since his practice sword was back in the Cloud Recesses. “I’m not certain I should be teaching you these,” Nie Zonghui said with a smile down at him as A-Fu hacked at a practice dummy’s butt. “Sabers and swords use different techniques and I don’t want to spoil your learning before you even start.”

“Well, if it’s my sword, I can use it how I want, right?”

“Mm. Not quite. You’ll be taught Lan skills.”

A-Fu frowned, wiping sweat off of his face with his sleeve, then shoving his headband up when it slipped. “Then I’ll get two--one sword, one saber and I’ll use them in two hands like you and it will be the coolest thing anyone has ever seened.”

Nie Zonghui grinned and looked over at the Nie shijie that was snickering nearby at the next dummy. “Uh, that will be a sight. I look forward to it.”

A-Fu nodded firmly at them. “Yeah, you do that.”

When Gray-Father stopped doing boring work talking to people and came out on the training grounds, A-Fu would challenge him to a duel and fight him with a Nie practice saber. It didn't always go so well because Gray-Father knew more moves, but when it got too complicated, A-Fu just whacked his shins and knees really hard and then tackled his tummy so they fell on the dirt and laughed. When Gray-Father wasn’t around, the cool Nie disciples sometimes let him whack them in the knees! He just had to promise to avoid the nards, which he thought was fair.

He would go walking and playing with Gray-Father on days where he was back from Night Hunting and meetings, riding on his back or one shoulder like he was Clan Leader--or even a King! When he sat up there, he was so tall, he could probably be in charge of anybody! Sometimes Gray-Father was grumpy and not in the mood for a lot of wrestling. Sometimes he told A-Fu to ‘calm down and cut it out’ when he got super bouncy or loud. But most times, he was happy to see A-Fu and threw him up into the air or pretended to eat him or asked him all about his day. And A-Fu was so super happy to see him too, because he missed him.

Sometimes, though, he got a little sad and missed Blue-Father and A-Yuan and his Cloud Recesses friends and the bunnies and Uncle Wangji and even Great-Uncle Qiren. Sometimes, he had nightmares where he woke up in a place he didn’t know and no one would look at or talk to him. Those times, Gray-Father would let him crawl into bed once he knocked on the door. He would hug him close to his chest and pat his back and say that he missed Blue-Father, too, and he wouldn’t ever leave A-Fu anywhere he didn’t know. The Unclean Realm was his home, just like Cloud Recesses and just like Koi Tower, but he just had a whole bunch more practice of Cloud Recesses. He was used to the night noises of the bugs and the shush of the tree outside his window when the wind blew. Well, he told his father, A-Fu just needed to stay here more often, that’s all! And he had smiled.

When Gray-Father heard about how good he was getting at swords in school, he was so totally proud of him. His father ruffled up his hair and smushed his cheeks and said, “Practicing a lot, are you? You’re going to be a fearsome warrior just like your die? Smite all the evil?”

A-Fu got that happy sparkly feeling bubbling up again. “Yeah!”

Uncle Huaisang grinned and fwipped his fan shut, patting A-Fu’s shoulder with it. “Ah, good job, good job! What about reading and writing, xiao-Fu? I bet your calligraphy is going to be impeccable!”

A-Fu wrinkled his nose--peckable? "We don't keep birds like that in the Cloud Recesses, shushu," he reminded him, all patient. Ugh, did he ever think about anything else besides birds?

His uncle and his father looked at each other. "Oh, of course! My mistake. But I bet with your shu-gong on your case, you're the top of the class!"

A-Fu shrugged, flapping his toy fan open and closed really fast, the way that made Uncle Huaisang wince (and he did). “I hate reading. It’s stupid and hard. I like doing swords way more, I’m better at stabbing. ” When he said it, he jabbed the fan forward with both hands toward Gray-Father’s chest.

Gray-Father did a complicated twisty thing with his hand and snatched it right from A-Fu’s fingers, bopping him on the head with it. “Good boy, practicing.” 

A-Fu wrapped both arms around the sting and scowled. “Hey!”

Uncle Huaisang sighed. "Aiya, another one. Promise me you'll at least still paint with me?"

Before he could answer, Gray-Father asked, “How are you with a bow and arrow? Have you started yet? Maybe we could try hunting sometime soon.”

Uncle Huaisang made a scrunchy face, folding his arms. “Da-ge, don’t you think that’s too rough for him? And... would Er-ge approve?”

Some of the happy went away from Gray-Father’s face and he looked over at Uncle Huaisang. “I went out with die around his age. And Xichen has agreed that he should have a broad education.”

“But he’s just a baby!”

What! 

Extremely offended, A-Fu puffed up and raised his fists. “I’m not a baby! I can hunt! Die, die, I can hunt, can’t I?”

“Of course you can. I can take you later today. How about it?”

When A-Fu cheered, Uncle Huaisang rolled his eyes and muttered something, fanning himself real fast. 

When they went, it was still a nice day but the sun was so bright when it peeked through the leaves, A-Fu had to squint against it and sweat kept trickling down his neck, even though the air was cool up in the mountains. They were both clopping through the forest on Gray-Father’s big brown horse, Leiting, with A-Fu perched in front on the saddle. He felt very important and tall and he kept very quiet just like Gray-Father told him to be, looking around with his practice bow in his lap. When he snuggled back against him, he felt Gray-Father chuckle in his belly and he reached down to pat A-Fu’s chest. Then, his father sat up, straight and quick, and twisted to the side, shooting his bow with a twunnnnng before A-Fu even knew what was happening.

And it turned out that Uncle Huaisang was actually right. 

Because when they got down and found the arrow butt poking up from the bushes, A-Fu’s tummy clenched up tight like a fist. The other end was stuck in a bunny. It was lying there all floppy with blood coming out of its mouth and nose. The one dark eye he could see was looking at the sky, reflecting the sun coming through the leaves. It wasn’t moving. It wasn’t ever gonna move again.

It was dead.

And all A-Fu could think was that this bunny wasn’t ever going to feel the hot sun again or eat a flower or anything.

He had heard about killing before, and he knew what dead was. Kind of. Sort of. He had just never thought about it for Really Real, actually happening. It was for stories and legends. It hadn’t meant anything before now. 

Suddenly, the nice day was horrible and awful and he burst into tears, startling Gray-Father and Leiting, who swung his huge head around to stare at all the noise. Then, he puffed out a breath and shook his head with a jangle. 

“Why did w-we gotta shoot it!? It’s j-just a bun-unny!”

Gray-Father frowned and knelt down next to him, a hand on his shoulder. “What did you think hunting was, child?”

“I do- hic- on't know! Why did you do that?!”

“We hunt animals and take them home for their fur and meat. For food.”

He stared down at the bunny’s big gray body, just laying there on the ground. “Food?!”

“That’s how we eat. What did you think was in rabbit stew?”

“I don’t k-know ! Bits! P-Parts!”

With a face screwed up, Gray-Father pinched his nose with his fingers, then looked at A-Fu again. “You thought we just cut parts of an animal off? That would be cruel, their legs and things don’t grow back. Chicken is chickens. Pork is pigs. We kill them and eat their meat, just like wolves and tigers do. It’s the natural order of things.”

This was the worst news in the world. All this time, he had been eating silly chickens and fluffy rabbits? They were dying? No wonder there were Lan rules about not eating meat or killing in the Cloud Recesses! He wrapped his arms around his tummy and yelled, “I hate it!! I’m-m never gonna kill an-nything ever!”

Sighing, Gray-Father picked him up. A-Fu put his arms around his neck and wiped his nose on his shoulder, smushing his face into his chest. He smelled like leather and the sun. With a thump, Gray-Father sat down on something, maybe a log, patting his back. “We are cultivators. One day, it will be your job to kill evil things--”

“Bunnies aren’t bad guys! They never hurt anyone! ”

Pat pat. “I never said that. Listen to me. You don’t have to like it, but it’s important to know what goes into your food. Everything in this world has its price.”

“I’m n- never gonna eat meat ag-gain!”

“Child--”

“No ! Never! It’s ho-horrible!”

A-Fu felt him heave another sigh as he kept pat-patting. “Alright, alright, deep breath. It’s your choice--you’ll be like your Blue-die and rest of the Lan. If this is what you decide, then we’ll make you vegetarian food when you come here...and I’m sure the cooks in Koi Tower will do the same. But you can’t be picky about what you eat, because you need to grow up strong. You’ll eat what’s put in front of you.” Gray-Father peeled him back and looked down at him with a serious face as A-Fu sniffled. “That means no more of Jin-shao-furen’s rib and lotus root soup or pork bao. No sneaking things with meat from the kitchen just because you get tired of it. If you have a conviction about something, you stick to it. It means nothing if it changes when you please--that’s not conviction, that’s convenience. Do you understand?”

This was obviously a way bigger decision than he had thought when he first said it. He scrubbed at his eyes and stared at the threads sparkling on his father’s robes in the sunlight as he thought. They were bright gold in the dark green, like the fish scales in Uncle Zixuan and Aunt Yanli’s koi pond. “...N-no more pork bao? Or bo-mu’s soup?”

Gray-Father raised his eyebrows and nodded. “Or chicken or fish or any sort of meat.”

He snuck another peek over at the arrow poking up out of the bushes, then stuck out his chin, crossed his arms and announced, “Yes. Never.”

With a big, rough thumb, Gray-Father wiped his tears away from his cheeks, then rested his hand on his shoulder. It was really warm. “Alright. Think more before you decide, because it’s a big change. And if you believe in something, I expect you to mean it.”

A-Fu wasn’t going to think more because he meant it, he really, really did. He didn’t even look at the body of the rabbit as Gray-Father brought it home and he hid behind his hands when they stopped by the kitchen to drop it off. When a golden Jin butterfly fluttered from the sky, Gray-Father scowled and lifted A-Fu down from Leiting’s big back and set him on the ground. “Go find Huaisang. I’ll be by later.”

Instead, A-Fu first wandered to his room and ate the rest of the sticky candied hawthorn that he had forgotten next to his bed and felt a little better. Then, he went and found Uncle Huaisang. He burst right into his room and announced how terrible hunting was. “Did you know they kill the animals!?” he demanded up at him. “Did you know that? I think everyone should!”

Uncle Huaisang pressed his lips together, looking at the door like it had said something rude. Then, he took A-Fu out into their garden and together, they threw seeds on the warm ground and watched the different birds come fluttering down, bright as little bits of colored cloth. He even showed A-Fu how to follow them from behind and reach down to catch it. He wouldn’t let A-Fu try on his own, cause he might grab too hard, but he let him hold one really, really gentle in his hands after he caught it.

It was tiny and smooth and he could feel its little heart beating super fast against his fingertips through its fluff as it looked around. It was so light and small that he all of a sudden got worried that he would squeeze too hard and kill it, so he let it go. 

The rest of the day while he played and ate and ran around and snuggled with Gray-Father, the rabbit totally wasn’t even in his head. 

But that night, after he was tucked into bed and the lantern got blown out, he laid there and thought about the bunny and death. What if they killed a baby bunny's mommy and now it was all alone in the dark? What if it was a Cloud Recesses bunny's cousin? What if they had just killed A-Yuan's bunnies’ A-Yuan? A-Yuan would cry and cry and cry all day if he had seen. 

Rolling over onto his back, he watched the branches outside wave against his ceiling in the moonlight, rustling outside his window in the wind that blew in the sweet smell of flowers. Death seemed to be what big, strong things did to littler, weaker things. It made sense--people were bigger and stronger than the bunny, so they killed it. Tigers were bigger and stronger than regular people, so they killed them. 

Were his birth parents small and weak? They had to be. Had someone shot them through the heart, just like Gray-Father did today? He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them, green and black speckled clouds of stars squishing around in the dark. Before today, they had just been a story Blue-Father told him. It hadn’t been real life. And he never really thought or wondered about them dying; they just were dead already. But he guessed that they didn’t just come that way because dead people couldn’t have babies. It was weird. 

It was better that he had his real fathers, now. They wouldn’t ever leave him and Gray-Father could beat up every tiger.

When he got back to the Cloud Recesses at the end of the month, he made sure everyone knew what hunting really was. “And the bunny just died!”

Great-Uncle Qiren sipped from his tea cup, then set it back down in front of him. “Yes, that is the nature of hunting. If you’re worried, it does not sound like the creature suffered.”

“Uh…” No, he hadn’t thought about that. “That’s good. I guess.”

Blue-Father squeezed the base of his neck, comfortingly. “That must have been quite a shock if you weren’t expecting it.”

“Yeah….Did my birth parents get shot by an arrow?”

Blue-Father took in a quick breath, but it was Great-Uncle Qiren who said, in a quieter, kinder voice, “No, Lan Fu. They died in battle, protecting their Clan. You don’t need to know more than that.”

“Why?”

“There is no need to trouble your mind with such knowledge while you are young. Know they did what they could to protect you. As Xichen does now.” 

“I won’t be troubled!”

Great-Uncle Qiren shook his head, mouth a tiny bit smiley under his moustache. “Enough.”

“Will you tell me later? When I’m older?” 

He tilted his head a little. “Perhaps.”

“7?”

“No, it will be many years. Do not ask again, I will not answer.”

A-Fu looked up at Blue-Father, who was petting the ends of his hair where it laid over his shoulders, watching him with a soft smile. “I’m never gonna go hunting again,” he said, firmly. “I’m gonna eat like a Lan always.”

Blue-Father’s eyes curved up and Great-Uncle Qiren made a little bit of a pleased face and nodded. “It is wise of you to consider the sanctity of life and purity of your body. It is why we have this rule.”

Huh! There were good reasons for rules! A-Fu never knew. 

When he told his class, some of them already knew about it, like the older kids and A-Yuan--which wasn’t surprising because A-Yuan knew everything. But a lot of them asked questions, which he did his best to answer while feeling very important. They asked him things like ‘did you see its ghost?’ and ‘was it scary?’ and he demonstrated being dead a couple times, then Gray-Father being the hunter. After a while, they all wanted to try and they ended up all taking turns pretending to die and kill each other in a big game around the practice yard, which was really fun! Until Teacher Lan Hai came back outside and had them practice tightrope again.