#interact with someone your character doesn't like
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same with numbers. i never felt underappreciated and unloved by amazing people here, but for all readers that i have (i personally prefer to call them "readers" because in my mind "followers" sounds like i'm someone more important), my average non-cc post gets just 1-2% notes of that number
it's not much, but after being on tumblr for some time, you just stop worrying about following counter and stop expecting huge numbers from it. notes are still useful as an indicator of which characters of yours people are more excited to see, what time of the day it's better to post because more of your readers are online... you know. to compare your posts with your other posts, not to compare your popularity with that of other people. some posts just get traction and it doesn't mean you're not as welcome as people who made them
and to be honest? having 5-10 people who are actually interested in my stories, who interact with my lore text posts, ask questions about my characters, is so much more gratifying. i couldn't care less about how many likes i get, but receiving an ask about my oc or my thoughts on a character that i like, makes me so happy
what i'm trying to say is, don't worry about numbers. whether you have 10 readers, 100 readers, 10k readers, it won't matter in a long run. find a few people who actively care for what you do, and you won't feel lonely
I've been seeing alot of people felling discouraged from simblr and feeling like they don't belong
Especially when there is alot of posts going around telling you not to focus on popularity etc
But im here to tell you ITS NOT YOU
You did nothing worng you do infact belong here its not your fault people in this community are not interactive (and yes its just this community im in two other fandom spaces and they work just fine people here are the outlier)
And my proof that its not your fault?
I have 3200 follower (all real people i removed the bots myself)
So you would think i would get alot of notes and feel included right?
WRONG
3k+ followers and this year the most notes i got on any non cc post i made was 15 and on cc posts it was 56
The only post that got alot of notes all year was my simblreen treats post and you would think with 3k people watching it would be 1000 notes or something but no last time i checked it was barely over 100
There are like 3 people that occasionally talk to me sometimes on my posts lol (very thankful i know no one owes me anything)
And i have had this blog for 6+ years
My point is
You belong just fine and i personally am happy you are here
Its not your fault people are being stubborn and refusing to reblog on the reblog website
(imma be real with you if i owened this website im removing the like option this is the reblog website you don't need to only like stuff but i dont own it so 🤷♂️)
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lucanis' romance is disappointing because like many other aspects of this game you can practically smell all the wasted potential
spoilers below!
we know from the stories that came before veilguard that cousins lucanis and illario grow up knowing caterina has a favorite grandson she intends to make first talon one day. it's implied and sometimes outwardly said that lucanis is indeed a better assassin than illario, and being a better assassin in a FAMILY OF ASSASSINS is a big deal. at the same time, we find out that illario is the more personable between the two. lucanis says he can charm just about anyone and zara calls him 'amatus' right before illario fucking kills her, so we know that's true. we find out through banter that lucanis had a crush on viago and failed miserably to show him because his only idea was to get him a knife, and, should you have an active romance with him, he will also admit to your companions that you are his first relationship
lucanis spends his entire romance backing away from you. he barely reacts to your flirting, he ducks away from a first kiss to 'clear his head', he won't shut up about coffee, and the moment you commit to him is just a quick scene where he SAYS he made you dessert, meanwhile, pretty much every other character is kissing you and declaring how much they care for you, emmerich's first kiss happens relatively early into the second act and it's such a sweet scene.
all this tells me is the writers were going for 'fail boy's first romance', packed with the slow burn of someone who has no idea how to show you how much he cares for you. it's sweet! i romance alistair every time for pretty much the same reasons. there's something very disarming about a strong, capable man who turns to mush around you because you're just that precious to him, because he's afraid you'll cringe and run away at his inexperience/awkwardness/eagerness.
but while i think that idea was perfectly executed with alistair, i think what we got for lucanis is extremely weak, to a point where i started wondering if my game was bugged and i had missed a romance flag somehow, or soft locked myself into someone else's romance. that's when it becomes a problem for me. when i flirt with him and he DOESN'T REPLY, it's not even him looking awkward, it's him not looking interested. he certainly sounds cute and awkward around neve, why does he show her that side and not rook? it felt like they were meant to be together, especially with the whole 'pick between treviso and minrathous' storyline, but i checked out neve's romance and that one is really good, one of my favorites in fact, SO WHAT GIVES? it's not that lucanis is reserved as a character, it's more like the game wasn't programmed with his reserved nature in mind. so he shows you he's committed by making you desert... couldn't we have had a scene where we watch him baking, instead of hearing him say he did it? we run into him preparing a surprise and he's out of sorts, or he asks us to go on another grocery run and you piece together what he's planning from peeping the ingredients. SHOW DON'T TELL IS THE MOST BASIC OF WRITING ADVICE, SO PLEASE ???? they did it with kaiden in ME3, he cooks for you and burns the garlic because you're just so distracting. there were multiple opportunities for cute and unsure, neve's romance is surprisingly tender and this one could've been too.
as it is right now, lucanis' romantic interactions feel like game bugs, his pet demon seems to be far more entertaining than him/is generally mega underutilized (can you imagine a scene of spite getting done with lucanis' bullshit and sleep walking some more to tell you he's smitten), and if you are planning to have lucanis as your romance, you should go into it knowing that after your first good, dare i say EXCELLENT first romantic chat at that coffee shop ("like a kiss goodbye" charmed me there and then) you'll be waiting until literally the end of the game for any sort of pay off. there's a good romance to explore here, the complete opposite of zevran as far as crow romances go, but sadly these fun dynamics will only get decently explored in fanfiction i fear
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Howdy ghouls, folks and dearie- ohs
My name is Hedone and I've been in this community for about three years now. I love it truly and wish never to be parted from it. But in that time I've noticed somethings. Like how it can be difficult to survive it, especially when your starting out I feel. So, to give back I made this;
This is your guide on how to make friends and survive the selfshipping community.
So with that out the way, there are some steps to survive.
Create -
In my view, self shipping is often a creative outlet as it is a comforting one. The ability to take a piece of media into my hands and shape it to my whims and will is often awe-inspiring. I'll admit it's easier to see it with other people than with ourselves.
So with this in mind - start off small, though if you want to go guns blazing you can do that too. It doesn't have to be a lot. If you feel embarrassed, don't be. If you are afraid then don't worry cus your definitely not alone there.
Often times it helps to make a promo. This way people who find you can know some quick facts; your title, your fos and any other bits of info you wish to give. Most people will want to know if you share an fo or not - whether this is in case they are uncomfortable with share or want to know if your comfortable with sharing. Whether you are or not is your choice.
'this user' boxes are a fun way to decorate and tell people about yourself. If your worried about how it looks, then make another one, there's no limit unless you make one. Some people make Cards for it. If that's intimidating, don't worry boo, this is Tumblr - you do you.
My first real post was about what it would be like my mind was like a house and what which fos would stay and which ones would come and go. I posted it three years ago and in all that time it has gotten 16 notes on it. Does that mean that I shouldn't have created it? no, no it doesn't. Because when I read it it makes me happy.
Do a gush post, make art, start 'reblog with your f/o' game, write stories, make a moodboard - start the flow on those creative juices.
interact -
I've seen a lot of people be nervous about talking to new people and I can tell you, I feel the same. Its daunting, talking to someone new and it can be awkward wading through the small talk. Most people are in the same boat as you; nervous and wishing to talk about their fos.
Instead of focusing on being popular, try and make friends instead, its much much more emotionally fulling than the first option. Find people with fos in the same source, and try and build it up from there. You'll find your weridos eventually - you just got to sieve though the rest first. You don't have to be best pals with everyone on there but be friendly.
If you recognise a character, why not send an ask? If you have a mutual in mind, why not try and talk with them? Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Doing content trades is a great way to interact with people (and boo if your worried or don't think your content is very good, don't be - we're all evolving here). Also if you can or just like to draw, you can make fanarts for a selfship you like or would like to be your mutual - like I said before, everyone on here just wants to talk about their fos here, all that is needed is a small push first.
With that in mind not everyone you talk to is going to like you, or interact the same way you do. Everyone has a style to themselves and that's ok - the trick is find someone who has the same, or a similar style as you. Even though we are interacting through a screen, remember that there is another person behind that screen; ask them how they're doing, what they're up to, if anything positive happen in their life.
Also be careful about the kinds of people you want to befriend- do they give back what you give first? Do they share your joy? You're bound to find many you click with, just be patient and don't give up - you got this 👍😊👍
Make Friends From All Walks Of The Community -
You'll never know who you're fandom buddy will be - Antis, proships, all are people and all have a different flavour to one another. Its up to you to pick. I've found that to survive here you have to lay roots. No man is an island after all. If you don't agree with a someone's ship or like it doesn't cost much to just be polite. Being considerate and kind to other people's selfships goes a long way round here.
Insecurity
Its pretty easy to feel intimidated by other's success. feeling like their ships are being validated while yours aren't (trust me here - I know what I speak of) but here's what you have to remember: We're all just people daydreaming about fictional characters - No one is better than you and you f/os will always love you!
This is one of the many reasons why building a foundation of fellow weridos is important, its good to have a someone that your able to lean on and vice versa.
But main point here is that no matter what, no one can take away your fos love for you nor your love for them. And if they try, flip them the 🖕 cus we don't give a 🦆
Karma -
I see a few newbies do this where they go onto someone's blog, reblog a game but not send in an ask from that game. If you reblog an ask game off of someone, sent in an ask from that game. Every little helps and it spreads the love around.
Tumblr is not like Instagram, likes are not the currency here. Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Leave a comment in the tags about the things you like or what you felt like when you saw it, send in an ask about their post.
Remember that even though we are interacting through a screen, there is another person behind that screen; Wishing for the same things as you do.
Take Breaks
It can be tiring on here, takes up a lot of energy so taking breaks can be good for you.
It's not like your fos are going to run away the second you turn your back - come away from Tumblr for a bit and reconnect with the outside, touch some grass, take a walk outside for a while. Its can be for as long as you like. I usually find that I like to take these breaks when I have things planned, so like if I'm going somewhere or have a thing planned I generally just try and stay off Tumblr for as long as I can, till I really want to.
If you feel like your abandoning your fos then why not take them with you? what would they say when your outside? How would they react? What would you say back? things like that.
Like with many of my posts, I doubt it will get much attraction. But if one person sees it and it helps them, then that's my dues paid, my contribute made. A very special thank you to @echoes-lighthouse @wisemins @hibiscus-ships @tex-treasures @missnaunet @vanilla-ending, @multyshipping for all your tips and helps with making this post.
With that said, thank you for reading this and if you never see me again
Merry Meet, Merry Part and Merry met Again.
#hedone talks#self ship#romantic f/o#romantic fo#familial f/o#self shipping community#self insert#queerplatonic f/o#platonic f/o#self insert community#self insert x canon#self ship community#self ship positivity#self shipping#selfship#selfship community#fo community#self shipper#selfshipper#canon x oc#si x canon#canon x self insert#oc x canon#si x fo#canon x si#yumeship#selfshipping community
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Sol.... Begging for some sick Matt? Pls? Pretty please? I'm thinking with this prompt from the "feeling sick positions" list you reblogged:
When a character is sick and he has an arm draped over his eyes while laying down, bonus for the other over his stomach
Angry when sick
When Isaiah came home shortly before midnight, the light in the living room was still on. That was his first clue.
The second was even more obvious than the biting light in his night city eyes.
"Are you okay?"
Matthew didn't bother opening his eyes covered by his hand. His other was draped over his stomach and he looked like he was about to slide off the couch, but didn't have the energy. "Do I look okay?"
Isaiah put his coat off with a sigh before approaching. "Alright, what's wrong?"
"Ah, now he cares. I'm. So. Touched."
Isaiah frowned, which was only for his own benefit, since Matt couldn't see it. "Are you pouting that I'm...not giving you attention?"
"Attention? You are fucking not home any day of the week. That's not lack of attention, that's a chronic avoidance."
"I'm not avoiding you." Isaiah dared to put the back of his hand against Matthew's cheek, since it was the closest free surface. "You aren't warm. No fever."
"Oh, I know. You are avoiding her, which doesn't really solve the problem for me, does it?"
"I'm not avoiding anyone. Just been busy," Isaiah said with an eyeroll that again, would have no effect. "I got really invested in law school again and I have many packs to visit and-"
"You know what? Shut it. I'm not in the mood to hear your made up crap." Matt turned his back to Isaiah, face pressed against the couch. Both his hands were now snuggly wrapped around his middle.
"Your stomach bothering you? Want some tea?" Isaiah was trying very hard not to pout at being interrupted like that. He was being honest.
Running around the city trying to find out if he truly wasn't seen as an Executioner was pretty exhausting. Even more exhausting was finding out that his effect truly wasn't what it was supposed to be.
Which meant lots of roaming around the city at night in the hopes of finding some trouble or a scuffle he could solve.
Until his connections got more willing, he needed more eyes in the city. Someone nible and fast to go on patrols for or with him.
He needed Rip. And he needed him, like, yesterday, not next month or whoever else it took for him to be able to stand humans and interact with wolves again.
Isaiah decided he might as well make the tea to have something to do. There was an amount of scents in the kitchen, movements and food he didn't know.
It was distressing to realize there were freshly washed cups and plates he didn't put into the dishwasher and food he didn't order or cook. That Seline moved in these spaces when he was away.
It wasn't like they didn't know how to interact. Or that they were would scream or argue or whatever. Isaiah was actually quite proud how well they were handling it.
There was a bit of tension, sure, but they could communicate about the essentials well. In a few weeks they might even be able to talk about the weather while looking at each other.
He felt kinda like Seline had other stuff to tell him, glaring at him and then changing her mind. Isaiah would have liked to tell her stuff too. But he didn't want to escalate it. Maybe he really was the coward in this.
They weren't together. What worse thing could happen?
Not that it was that bad. He was fine. It wasn't world-ending. He was fine. Really.
"Are you making a soup out of the damn tea or what?" Matthew's raspy voice brought him back to the present.
Isaiah shook himself off his trance and finally put the water into the cup with the mint tea. He didn't want to make it too strong, before he brought it over.
"Put the light off, will you?"
Isaiah complied, cringing inside at the ordering and the tone. Between Seline and himself, he didn't expect Matt to snap first. Maybe that was his fault too.
The tea filling the room with its clouds of steam and Matt taking up all of the couch, Isaiah sat down on the floor. He patted Matt's leg. "Try some of it?"
There was a gasp breath like Matt wanted to speak, but a soft burp came up instead.
"At least tell me what's wrong. What part of your stomach hurts?"
Matt grumbled something under his breath.
"Matt?"
"Just...overall, okay? It's bloated and painful and your questions are annoying."
"Right," Isaiah said tiredly.
Long silence followed. Isaiah would have thought Matt fell asleep, except his breathing kept catching at weird intervals.
"Wanna try lying in bed? Maybe stretching out-"
Matt curled up on the couch even more, all protective on his side around his upset stomach. There was a soft groan. "Leave me alone. Go to fuck to sleep or whatever, don't stay up."
Isaiah got up with a sigh, glad for the glimmer of sympathy of being send to sleep. He sat down on the edge, draping himself across Matthew's legs. His eyes were so heavy and the turned off lights were putting him to sleep. "No can do. You can ask for anything else though."
Matt froze up a little at the contact, squirming under the weight.
Isaiah suppressed a yawn and put a hand on top of Matt's shoulder, rubbing up and down. His eyes were drooping.
"Come back right after school tomorrow?" Matt said into the quiet darkness.
Isaiah swallowed heavily. "Okay."
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Moshang Fic - Part 1
half of something else
JRaylin441
Summary: Tianlang-Jun comes to visit the Northern Desert Palace. Tianlang-Jun is very bored. Tianlang-Jun finds a way to entertain himself.
Written for: Gotcha for Gaza prompt "on behalf of gusufan please tag them! I would like a post-canon Moshang get together fic. sfw or nsfw doesn't matter :)" from boomfanfic
Content Warnings: None for this chapter (that I know of), but it will be explicit in future
Read it on ao3 here (x)
Tianlang-Jun arrives at the Northern Palace on a beautiful and perfect summer day, which is funny, because he's about to ruin Shang Qinghua's whole life.
Shang Qinghua has an Overarching To Do List that is ever-evolving and extensive. There are arrangements to be made, banquets to organize, appropriate guest rooms to appoint. There is color-coding. There are sublists on sublists, organized by immediacy and location within the Demon Realm or Cultivation Sects and a thousand other subheadings that only Shang Qinghua is able to fully track.
When someone like Tianlang-Jun arrives, it has to jump to the top of the priority list. This is the father of Luo Binghe, one of the only full-blooded Heavenly Demons left alive, and initially created to be the only person capable of challenging Shang Qinghua's son in a fight, at his full power. Bing-ge is fairly easy to deal with, these days, now that Cucumber-bro has come along and turned him into an eager little tradwife. There isn't really a need for him to have some arch-nemesis/father in the world.
Which leaves Tianlang-Jun, local chaotic neutral god-level demon, just wandering around without a purpose or plot hook. He can do things like arrive, unannounced, in a Demon king's court and expect to be welcomed. Maybe he will be kind and perfectly accepting of the fact that he has to wait for several minutes for things to go his way. Maybe he will kill every demon in the palace out of boredom, like a toddler with a tantrum.
It was fun to write characters like this when it was just in a book! They keep things interesting! They're helpful when he needs something to happen and can't figure out how to motivate his characters to do it! They're way less fun to deal with when Shang Qinghua has somehow become the person in charge of managing the logistics and fallout of those interactions, in both the human and demon realms. Because, apparently, no one else is masochistic enough to want a job like that.
This is not the kind of masochism he enjoys! If he thought it would make any difference, he would be taking a baseball bat to the System's smug little screen right now!
"This King welcomes Tianlang-Jun to the Northern Desert Palace and hopes that he will stay as a welcome guest for as long as he wishes."
"This humble one is honored to accept your hospitality."
Shang Qinghua skids into the throne room with what feels like a cartoon dust cloud behind him. Mobei-Jun is only now wrapping up the grandiose and official greeting of Tianlang-Jun before the whole court, because he is a very good boy who has been trained well by his closest advisor and knows how to stall for time when Shang Qinghua tells him to.
They are engaging in shallow salutes toward each other, since it's a little unclear exactly what Tianlang-Jun's ranking is now, as someone who could wipe the floor with Mobei-Jun, someone who had a long-standing alliance with the Mobei clan before he was imprisoned under a mountain for two and a half decades, someone who no longer has any official titles.
Shang Qinghua, of course, ranks leagues below either of them, and drops into a low salute as soon as his feet have found purchase in their place to the side of Mobei-Jun's throne. He can feel dark red eyes (why did he think that was a good color for a protagonist's eyes? Why did he need to give that eye color to the badass big bad demon??? They're terrifying!) lingering on him for a moment, evaluating him before easily moving on, just as every other powerful person in this world tends to do when confronted with his trembling mousiness. It is often very convenient to be overlooked, and Shang Qinghua never (really, never ever) feels bitter about the fact that, in a world where literally everyone around him is a badass (he knows they are, he wrote them that way), he gets stuck in this body.
"My servants have prepared our finest rooms for you." Bold of Mobei-Jun to go ahead and make that claim when Tianlang-Jun arrived not a quarter shichen ago. Sure, yeah, just assume that Shang Qinghua has it all together and handled. Everyone else does. "Please do not hesitate to reach out to my advisor, Shang Qinghua, should Tianlang-Jun find himself in need of anything." Shang Qinghua taught him that customer-service line, back when Mobei-Jun was more wont to stare in stony silence at any visitor to his court. He has no right to be this irritated about all the work still being foisted off onto him now. He sowed these seeds. He's reaping now. He reminds himself of this and does not allow his hands to clench into fists. Not in public like this. There is a ticking knot in the muscle behind his shoulder blade, instead, that is winching ever tighter and more painful. This has been true for many years.
Tianlang-Jun's eyes pass over him again, another assessment, now that Shang Qinghua has been shown to hold such a high rank. This is normal too. Shang Qinghua likes that they underestimate him. It makes his job easier.
"If Tianlang-Jun would honor this lowly one by following him, this Shang Qinghua will show him to his rooms."
"Of course," Tianlang-Jun replies, jovially, as if he has run into an old friend on a walk rather than arrived unannounced to another demon lord's court. Shang Qinghua feels himself cringing at the blatant character trope of it all, the lackadaisical OP demon lord. Fuck you, past version of Shang Qinghua. There is no excuse in not knowing that your actions would have consequences.
He cringes and he grovels and he guides Tianlang-Jun to the rooms that he and every member of Mobei-Jun's staff that wasn't already in court for the greeting just dropped everything to put together. They look spotless and prepared in the same way they would if this had been a pre-planned dignitary visit, because Shang Qinghua is fucking good at his job, not that anyone notices.
"Before you go, Qinghua," Tianlang-Jun calls, already calling him in a way that is far too familiar with nothing to be done about it. "Are there any human novels in this palace? I have fallen out of the practice of reading with my imprisonment, but would not mind a chance to rediscover an old hobby."
"Of course, Tianlang-Jun," Shang Qinghua murmurs, bowing low enough that his nose could almost scrape the ground. "This one will obey."
He backs out of the room without rising from his bow, feeling the panic of this new task settle in the shaking of his bones, into the knot in his shoulder, alongside all the rest of his endless Overarching To Do List. Sure. Yeah, he'll get right on that. Because of course this is the best use of his time. The smile on his face is a rictus of customer service.
As soon as Shang Qinghua is out in the hallway and away from the range of heavenly demonic hearing, he grabs the first demon that respects any of his orders by their collar and sends them to start arranging a greeting banquet for that night. He grabs another and sends them along to rearrange the schedule for court the next day, since they were actually planning to receive some dignitaries tomorrow and will need to shift them to later in the day so as to not disrespect their new guest. He doesn't pick a demon to go and update his tracking of Tianlang-Jun's location, since no one else in this palace is supposed to know about that. He doesn't pick a demon to go and get the novels either, because he doesn't trust a single demon in this realm to know what the best options for human literature are and, unfortunately, he knows exactly the sort of thing that Tianlang-Jun would enjoy.
Because he wrote him.
*~*~*
Mobei-Jun does not enjoy banquets. It is easier, now that he is king and has no further aspirations for promotion, because he no longer has to spend his time doing something Qinghua calls "net-working" and can generally sit in stoic silence. Even so, he would prefer to dine in his own quarters, with Qinghua nervously chattering at length about all he has done and still has to do that day.
The food is prepared in the traditional demonic way. Qinghua does not like the raw meat, or the carnivorous diet of many in the court. Mobei-Jun spent an hour in the kitchens prior to this preparing hand-pulled noodles for him, so that he will have something to eat as well. He had captured and killed the beast used for the meat in the noodle dish the day before, also for Qinghua. He had not shown much of a reaction, when the prize was presented to him. Merely gestured for Mobei-Jun to hand it off to a servant to be butchered.
When the banquet begins, he gestures to one of the servants to bring the noodle dish from the kitchen out to Qinghua. No one dares to disobey when it comes to Qinghua's happiness. They know better.
When the steaming noodle dish is placed before him, Qinghua looks down at it in surprise before taking a darting glance in Mobei-Jun's direction. It is good, that he knows so immediately who is taking the time to cook for him. All things are as they should be.
"The honorable Mobei-Jun had no need to go through such trouble for me." Ah. All things are as they should be, except for the lounging heavenly demon seated to his side. Mobei-Jun hates when he must entertain guests, particularly ones that are powerful enough to defeat him in combat. When Junshang is visiting, it is not so bad, because he has known Mobei-Jun long enough to not be surprised by his silence. Also, he is usually so preoccupied with his human consort that there is no need to entertain him either way.
"You are a guest." This is what is expected, when an important guest arrives. It would not be happening, otherwise.
"This lord cannot help but notice that the human in your court seems to be well integrated." Tianlang-Jun is tilting his head in Qinghua's direction, as if there could be any other human he is referring to.
"Yes." Mobei-Jun responds, even though he does not want to talk to this demon about Qinghua, because Qinghua will be upset if he offends their guest this early into his visit.
"I cannot help but notice that someone has been cooking for him. Is there a demon in your court attempting to lay claim, then?"
Damn it all, actually. Mobei-Jun no longer cares about whether he might upset the guest. He curls his upper lip into a snarl before Tianlang-Jun allows any thought of that variety to linger in his head. There is a sudden shift in Tianlang-Jun's body language. One of his eyebrows flies up, and he suddenly seems much more interested in the conversation. Over at his table, Qinghua shoots a sharp and reproving glance in Mobei-Jun's direction, like he does every time he thinks Mobei-Jun might be making more work for him.
"Oh? It could not be that the Mobei-Jun, heir of the family that so publicly opposed my very interest in the human realm, has gone and started to court a human."
"Qinghua is none of your concern," Mobei-Jun grits out stiffly. Because Qinghua will be sad if he causes a political incident and he is holding on to his temper by nature of that fact alone. "This king would recommend that Tianlang-Jun decide on some other topic of conversation."
"Of course, Mobei-Jun. How can this guest do anything but comply?" But Mobei-Jun knows the glint of interest that he is still seeing in those dark eyes. He made a mistake, somewhere in that conversation. He doesn't know where. But he has drawn Tianlang-Jun's attention to Qinghua. This cannot stand.
"Qinghua is my advisor and a member of my court." The longer he is talking, the more smugly entertained this infuriating demon looks. "Tianlang-Jun has no reason for Qinghua to cross his mind."
A smile like a young child coming across an undefended table of sweets and delicacies. "I thought Mobei-Jun instructed me to direct any of my concerns or requests toward his advisor."
"No need. Tell a servant instead. They will tell Qinghua."
"That seems rather inefficient." Tianlang-Jun takes a slow and mocking drink of his wine, eyes laughing at Mobei-Jun over the rim. "Surely your advisor would prefer a more direct approach?"
The goblet in Mobei-Jun's hand groans under the pressure of his grip. "If Tianlang-Jun needs something, he should simply come to me and ask." The words are hissed out between teeth that will barely part to let them pass.
"Ah. An elegant solution. Truly, the king of the Northern Desert is peerless in his wisdom."
Mobei-Jun is being laughed at. He knows this feeling. He would grab Tianlang-Jun by the throat and throw him across the room if it wouldn't lead to him making a fool of himself in front of Qinghua. So, instead, he throws back the drink and studiously ignores any other attempts at conversation from the guest at his side. Let Qinghua be angry with him for not being the perfect diplomatic host. It is better than anything else he might have done.
*~*~*
Shang Qinghua is tired in the body-tired type of way, but not in the brain-tired type of way. The banquet ended hours ago, and the rest of the court has retreated to their beds for now, whether to fall asleep or to hook up with whoever they want. Good for them, good for them. The vigor of demonic youth.
That is not what is keeping him awake, however. Fuck no. It's been years since he's had a chance to bump uglies (as they say) with anyone. Shang Qinghua has an enormous and ever-growing Overarching To Do List. This is known. He also has his daily to do list that he draws from the points on the Overarching To Do List. He was doing an okay job getting through it before that deadbeat dad on a world tour had to show up and throw everything off, so now he's up hours past when everyone else went to sleep, like some kind of gamer bro, scrambling to check this month's inventory for Cang Qiong Mountain Peak against last months, to make sure there aren't any far less clever people skimming off the top. So far, it looks like a few of the Zui Xian disciples have been taking more than they said they would, but that's typical for them and not beyond the normal amounts, so he's not particularly worried.
Shang Qinghua is just setting those documents aside, moving into his next task (updating the map that he keeps of the movements of important figures based on the reports of this person and that person), when he hears the door to his office open.
No knock. No nothing. Is he some teenager still living at his parents' house? What's this entitlement and complete lack of privacy?
"I have always found it quaint, all the busy papers and documents that make up a human's day." Fuck. Tianlang-Jun. Not the sort of person that Shang Qinghua can order to leave.
"My lord Tianlang-Jun," he greets, shakily, standing for a quick salute and dropping the inventory paper over his map. The motherfucker. As if he didn't just ask Shang Qinghua for human books when he arrived. Papers and books aren't, actually, a unique human thing.
Much of demonic writing happens with an elaborate system of knots tied into thread, since there is so much variation in demonic hand structure, and tying knots is more accessible than holding a writing utensil. Learning how to write with a brush and paper had been a sign of status, because it meant that you might be interacting with the human realm. He'd thought it was a clever world-building detail. And it's not that humans spend more time than demons on their record keeping. More that, when Tianlang-Jun was emperor, he had been absent more often than not and had actively thwarted the efforts of his court to keep strategic records and reports. It had been part of what led to his downfall, leaving him to fight back entirely alone against so many sects. It had left his lands in chaos and disorganization, the easier for Shang Qinghua's son to sweep through and conquer.
Also, well, Shang Qinghua had never found too much pleasure in balancing all the little moving parts of writing political intrigue. Better to just have a good reason such structure was lacking and stop worrying about it.
"Forgive this humble human the wanderings of his mind." Shang Qinghua shuffles the map that he was making adjustments to further out of sight, even as he watches Tianlang-Jun's sharp eyes pick up on the movement. "How can this one be of service to the great Tianlang-Jun?"
"I couldn't help but appreciate the wonderful selection of novels provided to my rooms." Tianlang-Jun's movements are slinking and feline, as he maneuvers his way just a little too closely into Shang Qinghua's space. "I thought it might be worth my while to meet the human capable of selecting such things. Perhaps we may have some things in common." Tianlang-Jun has a tell when he's lying. There's a little twitch right at the corner of his smile, for just a second. No one ever noticed it. Even if they had, no one would have ever pointed it out to him or told someone else, because no one would ever dare. Shang Qinghua knows that he is lying right now, because he knows the tell, because he wrote this character. This was supposed to be his Big Bad, before the computer crashed and the outline fell to pieces and everything else went to shit.
"Perhaps Tianlang-Jun would like a recommendation for a companion more fitting to his status, who may also enjoy to discuss such things with him?" Shang Qinghua needs this man to leave. He has to get up in just a few hours to help prepare for court again, and he still has several things on today's list. Please, please, please just take the hint and leave.
"Oh?" Head tilted to the side. A fox, rather than a cat. "Is Shang Qinghua spoken for, then? This Tianlang-Jun had hoped to befriend him, but it seems as though some other demon has laid a claim."
"What?" Shang Qinghua sputters, because there are about seventeen things about that one small sentence that he needs to question and it's knocking some of the fear and hesitance right out of him. "Surely Tianlang-Jun has others he would find more suitable to befriend." Befriend??? This is the Big Bad! What is he even doing in here?
Tianlang-Jun seems quite aware of Shang Qinghua's panic and distress, and yet utterly unmoved. He makes his way over to the desk that Shang Qinghua was using and sits down on the surface, right atop the papers, patting against his own thighs and smiling with all the guile of a newborn baby.
"I think that you will find that I have quite a history of befriending people that others may not see as suitable." Tianlang-Jun reaches over, swipes up the cup of tea that Shang Qinghua poured himself several hours ago and immediately forgot about. The previous emperor of the Southern demon tribes takes one delicate sip, wrinkles his nose in disgust, and then sets it back down. "Entertain me, Qinghua. I want to hear all about this life that a human built among demons. At the throne of Mobei-Jun, no less."
Oh. That makes more sense, then. The scandalized, gossiping note in his voice, when he talks about Mobei-Jun. The sudden and more-intense-than-it-should-be interest. Shang Qinghua can never escape the time honored tradition of a queer-coded villain, apparently. It happens when he's writing, even if he doesn't mean to do it. And this would make sense, as a power grab without having to do any of the actual work, which is the part that Tianlang-Jun always hated anyway. Marrying Mobei-Jun would be a pretty little solution.
"This one is hardly as important as all that." As if Shang Qinghua is ever going to allow this man to end up with Mobei-Jun. It would be a terrible match, neither one of them making the other happy. And, well, Mobei-Jun has always his favorite. He deserves something better than a miserable marriage. "This lowly one would be happy to tell Tianlang-Jun anything he is curious about, but it would hardly be anything worth hearing. This one is rarely granted the honor of speaking with Mobei-Jun." Tianlang-Jun is too powerful and unpredictable to piss off, so he can't exactly say no, but he's certainly not going to make it easy.
"Oh, this lowly one, huh?" Tianlang-Jun clicks his tongue in a chiding, condescending manner. Bitch. "No need to stand on such formalities. We're friends now, Qinghua. Come, sit with me. Tell me about yourself. Tell me about all the ways that human literature has advanced in the past few decades."
And, well, that's a direct order. For all that Shang Qinghua lectures Mobei-Jun about being a good diplomat, he can hardly do anything but obey. For all that Shang Qinghua shit talks people in his head or in his interactions with Cucumber-Bro, he is and will forever be a coward. He walks over to the small sitting area in the corner of the room, where he has covered all four of the chairs with some mishmash of maps and paperwork and empty bowls of noodles. The servants likely would have cleaned it up if they weren't forbidden from moving anything in the room.
Tianlang-Jun follows him, gleeful as a child and with the power of a nuclear bomb behind him. He stands off the to side, entirely unhelpful, as Shang Qinghua shoves several piles of detritus to the floor and beats furiously at the seat cushions to try and remove some of the dust. When one is clear, Tianlang-Jun slinks over and perches upon it like a throne.
"Now, isn't that better?" Tianlang-Jun seems to have brought the cold cup of Shang Qinghua's tea with him, and is continuing to sip from it, despite the level to which it is clearly grossing him out. "Tell me about books, if you're so reluctant to speak about your king."
They talk. It should be terrifying, speaking with a Heavenly Demon like this, someone so unpredictable. And it is, in a way. Shang Qinghua is shitting himself, and he can feel the way all of his limbs have locked up in trembling panic. Tianlang-Jun, though, was written to be a charming and charismatic villain, the kind of character that you can't help but like, even when he's clearly committing all sorts of atrocities. And so, somehow, despite it all, Shang Qinghua kind of likes him. Tianlang-Jun is quick and clever and very invested in learning about the terrible plots of terrible romance books that are starting to really pick up steam in this world after The Resentment of Chunshan.
"See? We're friends now. Tell me about my friend, Qinghua. How did a human come to be such an integral member of Mobei-Jun's court? An advisor, at that?"
Shang Qinghua talks him in circles, barely talking about Mobei-Jun at all, because he can make a new friend while still sticking to the original goal. Every time it drifts close to talk of Shang Qinghua's king, he can see the light in Tianlang-Jun's eyes, the leaning forward in sudden rapt interest, and it's not hard to remember to change the subject.
It would be easier, however, if his entire life didn't seem to revolve around Mobei-Jun, at this point. There's really very little that Shang Qinghua can talk about that doesn't tie back to him in some way. This is not because of his pathetic little crush, either. It's simply because he has made himself into an essential member of the court and because he lives at his place of work. Obviously, his life would revolve around his boss, in a situation like that. The pathetic-crush-maybe-love is entirely separate from that.
As the night wears on into the wee small hours of the morning, Shang Qinghua is furious to realize that he could actually see himself becoming friends with Tianlang-Jun. It's lucky, though, because the dropping formality and increased comfort eventually reaches a point where Shang Qinghua is finally comfortable pushing a new novel into Tianlang-Jun's hands and shoving him out the door to his quarters. Shang Qinghua can cross off the one or two essential things left on his list for today, and move all the other still-important-but-less-immediately-pressing tasks to the list for tomorrow.
He crashes into a few snatched hours of sleep, reeling from all the details that will be waiting for him when he wakes up.
*~*~*
"I see why you like him so much."
Mobei-Jun does not respond. That voice could be talking to anyone. He refuses to acknowledge it until it has made it impossible to do otherwise. Qinghua should be grovelling at his feet in thanks, at the effort he is putting into diplomacy.
"Your little human pet. We had such a lovely talk late last night. He has such taste in literature, don't you think?" Mobei-Jun is not looking at Tianlang-Jun, even as he lounges beside him as an honored guest at court. He is not looking because it's impossible to know if Tianlang-Jun is even talking to him. He will not look, because if he looks then he will lunge at Tianlang-Jun teeth-first, and he is behaving himself. "And such a fire in him! I will admit, Mobei-Jun, I didn't see it at first. He seems so nervous and jittery all the time. But there really is a brilliant mind in there, isn't there? And he's got a spine, if you push him far enough."
The doors to the court open, and Tianlang-Jun falls silent, thank the gods. Mobei-Jun is one of the only creatures on this earth that has the opportunity to know those truths about Qinghua, past the mask that so many others see. Perhaps Tianlang-Jun is only taunting him but, if so, then it is a very lucky guess.
Mobei-Jun rules for the next petitioner to be sentenced to death. He doesn't even know what they came in for.
As the court watches the crying demon be dragged from the room, Mobei-Jun sees the accursed image of Tianlang-Jun, lounging in his seat with a smirk, in his peripheral vision.
"Someone like that is truly worth knowing, wouldn't you say? Worth keeping on your side. I think I may take up a friendship with Qinghua. He seems like the sort of man who would enjoy exchanging letters."
And that is the last straw.
There is no warning, when Mobei-Jun lunges. He slips into the shadow of his throne and appears, teeth and claws first, behind where Tianlang-Jun has the nerve to lounge. Speaking of writing letters to Qinghua. Calling him by that name. Mobei-Jun is going to kill him where he stands.
Tianlang-Jun isn't surprised. He meets him blow for blow, even as Mobei-Jun tackles him down off the dais and they begin to duel in the center of the court. The demon nobles stand in quiet observation, not interfering for either side. They are nothing. Mobei-Jun draws the sword at his side, lunging forward with the speed and strength he has developed over years of sparring with Luo Binghe, on top of a lifetime in a family that wanted him dead. Tianlang-Jun dances gracefully out of the way. He laughs as he does. It sends icy fury hurtling through Mobei-Jun's bloodstream.
The fight is brief and brutal. For every blow that Mobei-Jun lands, Tianlang-Jun lands three. He is faster, and stronger, and older. What does it matter, that Mobei-Jun will lose? That is not the point. How could he respond in any way but this, when Tianlang-Jun has so blatantly flaunted his claim to the man he is courting?
A blow to the side of the head, and Mobei-Jun sees his blood on the ground. A blow to Tianlang-Jun's arm, and his blood forms into a wickedly sharp blade that he wields more effectively than claws and teeth.
Mobei-Jun is losing. He is losing, and Tianlang-Jun does not do him the dignity of making his next charade subtle. Perhaps, to the nobles, already losing interest in the fight, it is difficult to see. Here, in the midst of the fight, it is glaringly obvious when Tianlang-Jun allows several of Mobei-Jun's hits to land in a row. Even more obvious when he winks and then drops to a knee, bowing his head before Mobei-Jun's strike, fully confident that he will not allow it to land.
Mobei-Jun does not allow it to land. Because Qinghua would be upset.
"This Tianlang-Jun apologizes for any offense he may have caused his host, the venerable Mobei-Jun. Please, accept this one's deepest regret and honest surrender to the martial prowess of one such as Mobei-Jun."
He is laying it on thick. He is smirking throughout the entire declaration. Mobei-Jun does not dignify it with a response. He grunts in some vague acknowledgement and strides out of the greeting hall before he does something like throw away his entire kingdom for the chance to tear out Tianlang-Jun's throat.
Let him try to take Qinghua. A man like this is not at all to Qinghua's taste, and has none of the sort of shared history that he has with Mobei-Jun. Tianlang-Jun can throw himself against the brick wall of Qinghua's regard all that he desires. It will make no difference. He will not find a way into Qinghua's heart.
Mobei-Jun hasn't, and he has been trying for years.
*~*~*
By the time Shang Qinghua makes it back to his office for the evening, he is about ready to hunt his king down and throttle him. Sure, go right ahead, pick a fight with the most powerful demon in the court in the middle of the court where everyone can see and then leave court early. Surely someone else can take care of all the day's petitioners. Surely someone else can greet the dignitaries from the Fox Clan.
Of course. Shang Qinghua will just shift around his daily to do list, again, and make that happen. Who cares if it means that he needs to send the head servant to oversee the preparation of the greeting banquet for tomorrow, and fuck if that imbecile will do any of it right. He'll make it too garish or, even worse, make it grander than the welcome banquet they held yesterday, and cause a diplomatic incident that way. Most likely, Shang Qinghua is going to have to head over there tomorrow morning and undo everything the head servant did, which means another item on his to do list.
When he returns to his office, there is a pile of mail waiting for him, because there's a fucking spawn point above his desk and new tasks arrive every time he dares to step away. This is always the first part of his routine in the evening: going through all the mail in order of oldest to newest and checking to see which part of the Overarching To Do List it needs to be added to.
There are, thank fucking god, very few unexpected things in this pile of mail. Shang Qinghua moves a few tracking symbols around on his map of VIPs, and takes the time to jot a few points down on his to do lists for various regions. There are some items to add into next months budget for the Northern Desert and a few requests for night hunt services that will need to be passed on. Nothing too unusual, until he gets to the two most recent pieces of mail.
Qinghua,
I so enjoyed our conversation last night. Your insight into the motivations of the characters inBreathless Wishwere truly correct on every point. A mind like yours is one that I am eager to befriend.
Here's to many more nighttime conversations.
Tianlang-Jun :)
Shang Qinghua stares at the smiley face at the end for too long. This is what he gets. This is what he gets for watching too much shonen anime right before starting to outline this part of his story. He has no one to blame but himself, for this chaotic cool-guy stalker vibe that Tianlang-Jun is bringing to the villain role.
Shang Qinghua does not know what to do with this letter, but there is nothing about it that needs to be added to the Overarching To Do List. He sets it to the side so he can start to forget about it (after taking out the color-coded cheat sheet for the tracking map of VIPs and adding a new colored dot next to Tianlang-Jun's name).
The next letter is even more confusing.
Truly, Shang Qinghua stares down at the envelope for almost a full minute before moving.
It is folded on impressive, expensive cream paper. His name is written across the front, in a handwriting that would be impossible not to recognize, after all the time he has spent managing documentation for its owner.
Qinghua, it reads.
Tianlang-Jun provoked the fight today. There will likely be people who are unhappy.
I don't like him here. Make him leave.
There is no signature line. Shang Qinghua is going to kill him. He is going to go back in time and not save his life, back when they first met. That would have made every other part of his life so much easier. Fucking hindsight.
Fucking. Sure. He'll just go ahead and kick the most powerful demon they know out of the palace, then. Him, Shang Qinhua, the only human here. A cultivator too! Don't forget that part! A cultivator, you know, like the cultivators that imprisoned him under a mountain for decades and killed the woman he was in love with? Surely, there couldn't possibly be any flaws in this plan.
"Is that all he wrote? That's pathetic." The voice is from right over Shang Qinghua's shoulder, and he screams and whirls around, throwing the letter with all his might, only for it to flop harmlessly against Tianlang-Jun's chest and fall to the floor. "Hello Qinghua. I need to teach your king how to write sweet nothings as well, apparently."
Right. This asshole. Trying to seduce Mobei-Jun by doing ridiculous things like, apparently, starting a fight with him in front of the entire court and then reading letters to try and figure out how his actions were received.
"Tianlang-Jun." Shang Qinghua dips into a low salute, because he needs a second to get his fucking face together and also because he doesn't want to fucking die. "How can this humble one be of service?"
"None of that, I thought we already talked about this. No need for the formalities." Tianlang-Jun reaches past Shang Qinghua and steals his tea again before sauntering over to the sitting area where they spent their time yesterday. "I was just bored and wanted to talk to my friend. You're not busy, are you?" He's standing in front of the chair he sat in last night, because it's already accumulated new clutter and apparently his arms are still going to fucking fall off or something if he deigns to do any kind of physical labor.
"Of course I have time." Shang Qinghua gives one last, longing glance toward The Overarching To Do List and makes his way over to clear off the fucking chair. Make way, everyone. Shang Qinghua, the only fucking person capable of doing any work around here is finally here. What else can he do for you?
Tianlang-Jun drapes himself across the chair like an expensive throw and takes a languorous sip of Shang Qinghua's tea. When he tastes it, and the liquor Shang Qinghua had treated himself to spiking it with, his bros shoot up and a delighted smile spreads across his face.
"Ah, Qinghua, I had no idea you enjoyed this sort of thing. You must really be telling the truth when you said that you were planning to relax tonight." Shang Qinghua had not said anything even close to that. He would never say something like that. He added the shot or two because all he has to do tonight is a bunch of simple copying over of figures from all the various documents into one larger tracking sheet. It's mindless work and not the sort of thing that is disrupted by a little alcohol greasing the way.
"This king of yours is not very good at the whole romance thing, is he?" As if Shang Qinghua is going to allow slander like that to stand.
"He has never been interested in that sort of thing, so there would be no way to know one way or the other."
"Oh? What makes you so sure of that? I thought you were rarely granted the honor of speaking to Mobei-Jun?" Tianlang-Jun has the kind of smile that makes you feel like he's always playing a prank on you, or telling a joke at your expense. As the person who created him, Shang Qinghua knows that that feeling is often correct. The question is simply whether or not it is correct at this exact moment.
"I have known him for many years and seen him grow from a youth into the king that he is today. I would know if he had expressed interest in another."
"Qinghua sounds so sure. Perhaps this Lord should take his word for it." A fucking wrestling match in front of the entire court. Conversation with multiple words from Mobei-Jun over the course of a banquet. Maybe this is the joke. These behaviors could be seen as romantic, sometimes even flirting, in demon customs.
"Tianlang-Jun returned so quickly to formalities, after announcing that they were not necessary. Is he attempting to take his leave, then?" Shang Qinghua is trembling from the audacity of prompting Tianlang-Junto leave, but he's not sure he won't do something even worse if he continues to talk to him. The lesser of two evils.
"Hm, not just yet." Tianlang-Jun spreads his legs wide, leans forward to rest his chin on his hand and stare with half-lidded eyes. "Have you fucked each other?"
Shang Qinghua feels the impact of the question as it hits his chest, and then the shockwaves out that lock down each of his muscles as they pass. Fight or flight or fucking freeze, and he is a prey animal in the hungry gaze of a predator. Not even in a hot way that it sometimes feels with Mobei-Jun, just in the terrifying, if-I-don't-say-the-right-answer-he'll-kill-me way.
Thankfully, or tragically, or pathetically, Shang Qinghua doesn't have to lie about this. Who knows how a man as single-minded and obsessive as Tianlang-Jun would react to having to share his love interest with the tiny cultivator before him.
"No! What the fuck? No, of course he hasn't fucked me."
"He hasn't fucked you? Oh, Qinghua, you poor thing. That is not the question I asked."
"I don't see why any of this is relevant to anything at all."
"I told you. I'm bored! A poor, retired heavenly demon, traveling the world without a friend or a title to his name, grieving the loss of his most reliable subordinate. There is nothing at all to do out there. And there's something so very interesting happening here at this court. How long have you been wanting him?"
Shang Qinghua cannot tell him to leave, because he would be dead before the words could even leave his mouth. Also because this should all be just fine. He shouldn't feel the need to shut this down. Shang Qinghua doesn't mind when people make pitying assumptions about him. It's useful. If it weren't for the pathetic, desperate obsession he's been nursing for his king since long before he even came to this world, it would be funny. Instead, he's holding onto the shreds of his composure and humiliation and anger with the tips of his fingernails.
"Tianlang-Jun," he forces out. "Is there some sort of book you are looking to borrow tonight, or another way that I could be of service to you?"
"My friend Qinghua must be a prodigious reader indeed, if he believes me capable of reading all the books he sent over in the past day alone." There is a breath of peace, where Shang Qinghua is idiotic enough to let his guard down, thinking his blatant efforts to change the subject were accepted. "If you're not going to fuck him, you should at least go through the trouble of cooking for him. After all the cooking he's done for you."
Is this some weird mind game? Probably! Luo Binghe has to get it from somewhere! Is Tianlang-Jun trying to mark his claim on Mobei-Jun by trying to offend and order around anyone who might be a love rival? That feels more like the moves of the Little Palace Mistress than a Heavenly Demon lord. But then, why tell him to cook for his king? Where does that fit into the plan?
It's all gone so strange.
"Sure, yeah, I'll do that." Shang Qinghua agrees because there's nothing else for him to do and he doesn't know what the game is, here. He certainly can't go and tell Tianlang-Jun to fuck off, to leave him alone, to leave this entire fucking palace and go make his trouble somewhere else. What can he do but agree? He has no power here, beyond his intricate and extensive knowledge of all the ways that Tianlang-Jun could fuck him up without even expending any effort. Easier than sneezing.
"I'll hold you to that, Qinghua," Tianlang-Jun says, drinking deeply from the spiked cold tea that he stole. "As my friend, I have to trust that you will keep your word to me, no?" He smiles at that, as if they are two old childhood friends passing the time over jokes and nostalgic stories.
"Of course, of course," Shang Qinghua murmurs, feeling like an old grandfather appeasing a toddler. He could hope that this would be the end of their conversation, but Tianlang-Jun stays again, this night, even later than the night before. Shang Qinghua has nothing he can do about it, but he's going to have to start penciling naps into the daily to do list, if this shit keeps up.
*~*~*
"I have to say, that letter you wrote to your darling love really left something to be desired." Tianlang-Jun does not wait to be announced or engage in any small talk. He simply arrives and begins speaking about the thing he wants to say. This is normally the sort of behavior that Mobei-Jun appreciates.
Normally.
He is reading over the speech that Qinghua has written for him, greeting the dignitaries from the Fox Clan after their arrival yesterday. It is short and succinct, but covers the points that would be necessary for whatever sort of behind-the-scenes things Qinghua is trying to accomplish. Mobei-Jun no longer asks for specifics. He just goes where he is told and says what he's supposed to say. In return, Qinghua makes the words at least somewhat bearable to say. It works for them.
They have a rapport. An understanding. Mobei-Jun is not going to forget this and allow himself to lash out again, like yesterday. Qinghua had not been happy. He hadn't said anything, too busy with other things, but he had scowled up at him over dinner, and that was enough to make it clear. Most likely it will come up again after Mobei-Jun has angered him several more times, and he decides to let it all out at once.
All this to say: Mobei-Jun does not respond to Tianlang-Jun's words. Merely grunts in acknowledgment, so he does not feel as though he has to say them again.
"Have you ever written a love letter before?" Tianlang-Jun slumps into a chair across from Mobei-Jun and props his feet up on the table, letting them fall atop the parchment holding the written out speech. "Because, if so, then I'm pretty sure he had no idea that it was a love letter. Is that how you talk to him all the time? I don't like him here, Qinghua. Make him leave, Qinghua. Bring me my blanket, Qinghua. Someone reading your letters would think he was your parent."
Mobei-Jun focuses on the words beneath Tianlang-Jun's shoes, even as he can feel his lips raising in a snarl. Those were the words he wrote. So Tianlang-Jun really did read the letter. This was not just a lucky guess that Mobei-Jun had fallen for his taunting. He knows the exact words.
Does that mean that Qinghua showed him the letter? Or that he broke in to the office to see it? One would be Qinghua's choice. Mobei-Jun could go and shout at him for it, but that would just make him do it more, most likely. The other option would mean that Mobei-Jun would have no choice but to challenge him to another duel. Another that he will lose.
It wasn't a love letter. That's why it didn't sound like one. Mobei-Jun has never written a love letter and never will.
"I think he was sad about it. If that's the kind of courting you're doing, no wonder he hasn't taken up your offer."
"Is there something Tianlang-Jun needs?" Mobei-Jun grits out between his teeth. He is speaking like this more and more frequently recently.
"I simply desire the chance to teach someone younger than me the proper way to woo a human, considering I'm one of the few demons who has ever managed it." That gives Mobei-Jun pause. Tianlang-Jun notices. "Considering the only models you may have for this kind of relationship would be myself and that son of mine, I had assumed you may want help. Unless, of course, you would prefer a relationship more like the one my son has built with his teacher."
"You have successfully courted a human."
"Famously, I'd say. Or infamously, I suppose, depending on who you're asking. But it certainly did happen. You can look to the emperor of our realm, if you have any doubt."
Mobei-Jun does not respond immediately.
There are two sides of him at war. He has been courting Qinghua for years with no discernible reciprocation. This Tianlang-Jun is one of the few people who may actually be able to help.
The other side of him is furious that this thought has even crossed his mind. This demon lord has intruded into his home uninvited and dares to comment on his relationship. As if he could ever know Qinghua the way that Mobei-Jun does. Mobei-Jun does not ask for help. He is the ruler of his Northern Desert. The second-in-command to Junshang.
Also, Tianlang-Jun is clearly waiting for him to ask for help. Sitting there, smug as can be, in patient silence. Mobei-Jun would rather rip his own throat out with his claws than ask for help from someone so clearly expecting him to.
Would he rather tear out his own throat or lose Qinghua, though?
If he accepts Tianlang-Jun's offer, it will not be as simple as agreeing. There will be strings attached. Mobei-Jun grew up in a family like this, too. Constantly trading information behind each other's back and holding things over each other.
Qinghua will not leave. He promised. They have time.
He lets the silence grow thicker in the room. Goes back to reading through the speech. If he ignores Tianlang-Jun long enough, he will likely go away.
It takes a good while. That is likely what happens when you try to wait out someone who spent the last few decades trapped under a mountain. Eventually, Tianlang-Jun allows the feet of the chair to scrape across the floor as he stands up and laughs.
"Well, good luck, then. I'll give you this one for free: your Qinghua is a man of words. Maybe try to do something about that, rather than begging for him to come clean up your messes." Tianlang-Jun raps his knuckles once against the surface of the table before sauntering out. It's good that he leaves so quickly, because Mobei-Jun is going to kill him if he has to look at him for another second.
*~*~*
It's kind of fucking frustrating, all the shit that's been going on recently. Shang Qinghua is always the person sent to deal with everyone else's bullshit, sure. Usually, though, there's a little bit of free time here and there. He can use it to sleep. He usually uses it to check in with his king and make sure that they are thinking along the same lines in the plans they're pursuing. Or to make sure he's doing all the things that Shang Qinghua trained him to do so that all the careful planning doesn't fall to pieces. Or to just get a chance to stare at him and be the perverted old man that he is. It's usually a fun mix of all of that. It's been happening more often that Mobei-Jun orders him to eat dinner together anyway, this past year or so. Sometimes it's those same hand-pulled noodles, and he's starting to get better at making them edible too.
There's been so much, with Tianlang-Jun's unexpected visit and the complications it brought to the Fox Clan's expected visit, and all the other everyday minutiae that comes from being the only person capable of running the demon realm or the human realm.
He misses it, though. The things that he gets to do when there isn't so much happening all the time. Evenings with his King, his favorite. Casual conversation with him, which really ends up looking more like Shang Qinghua rambling on and on about this or that while Mobei-Jun sits quietly and occasionally makes grunting or vaguely affirming noises to indicate that he has noticed that Shang Qinghua is still talking. Okay, so maybe the only thing that's really missing right now is his time with his king, but maybe that's the only thing worth missing anyway.
He makes his way over to the desk, flips over the stack of letters, starts going through them and adding information to The Overarching To Do List, shifting things in their priority rankings, moving figures across the VIP map and tweaking the color coding. There at the bottom of the stack is another one of those letters, same as the last time. Expensive, heavy cream paper with his name across the front in familiar handwriting.
Qinghua,
I have not seen you as frequently these past few days. There are many banquets. Eat lunch with me tomorrow.
Stop spending so much time with Tianlang-Jun.
Once again, there is no signature line. Once again, there is no need for a signature. It could not more clearly be from Mobei-Jun. It's him at his most neglected, entitled, and pouty. It reminds Shang Qinghua of the way he used to act when he was a teenager, actually, still coming into his power and unsure of his ranking within the family.
"See, I was thinking that was really more of a horizontal movement, but the ridiculous grin on your face makes me think I'm missing something and it was actually better." Shang Qinghua still jumps at Tianlang-Jun's voice, but he doesn't throw anything this time, because thought he might be stopping by again tonight. He just jumps whenever there's an unexpected noise. Sometimes also when there is an expected noise. "Any chance you'll be sharing with the class?"
"Tianlang-Jun," Shang Qinghua greets, bowing into a salute even though he's getting really fucking sick of this happening and would like to know how Tianlang-Jun so easily broke past the lock and talisman he had left on the door to his office. "In what way can this humble one be of service tonight?"
"See, you're so submissive and acquiescent when we're talking like this, Qinghua." Tianlang-Jun reaches out to lift Shang Qinghua out of his salute. There's an eager, boyish smile on his face and nothing behind his eyes. "Which is funny, because it doesn't seem like you follow through on the things we talk about." The smile grows wider, showing off just how sharp a full-blooded Heavenly Demon's teeth can be. "So eager to agree here, and then your actions go and betray all the trust of our friendship."
There is a fine tremor starting up in all of Shang Qinghua's limbs, something he's never quite figured out how to prevent when he's scared. His voice, when it comes out, is a high squeak. "Betrayed? If Tianlang-Jun would be so kind as to explain what he means."
"Qinghua," the word is chiding. "You told me you would be cooking food for your Mobei-Jun. And, yet, I saw nothing of the sort at dinner."
"There was a banquet!" Shang Qinghua yelps, because this is ridiculous. "We were welcoming the Fox Clan and he was giving a speech! I can't cook for him at a time like that!"
Again, Tianlang-Jun turns foxlike in the way he tilts his head to the side. More foxlike even than the Fox Clan that is visiting and that Shang Qinghua invented in a clear effort to pander to the furry demographic.
"Did he not cook for you?"
"He. Well. That's different! He knows I can't eat all that rotting stuff that demons like to eat!"
"Sounds like you could have cooked for him too."
"What do you want?" Shang Qinghua despairs. He made his bad guy too aloof and mysterious and now there's no way for him to even understand the points that he's trying to make. "I'll do whatever you want, just please stop with this whole intimidation game. I don't know what you're trying to do!"
"Qinghua, Qinghua," Tianlang-Jun saunters behind the place where Shang Qinghua was sitting and is now halfway to kowtowing. He's headed for the fucking tea again, not spiked, and Shang Qinghua has resigned himself to that. If that's what it takes for his chaotic-neutral villain to finally monologue and let everyone else in on what the fuck is going through his head, that's a small price to pay.
This is the part where he fucks it up.
Because he's so resigned to doing whatever needs to be done to make the person so much stronger than him leave him alone that he's not even watching him that closely, the way a spy master really should be. He sees Tianlang-Jun's hand reach out, and he doesn't do anything about it, because he thinks he's going for the fucking tea.
And then Tianlang-Jun is holding The Overarching To Do List. And it's too late to do anything.
Shang Qinghua still tries. He lunges up off the ground because there's nothing else to do when someone is holding your child hostage in front of you. At his first movement toward Tianlang-Jun, the motherfucker holds out his free hand and sets it alight with demonic fire, moving it slowly toward the stack of papers.
Shang Qinghua freezes. He doesn't move a fucking muscle, aside from the tremor wracking through every single one of them. He doesn't even allow himself to babble. He already asked the questions. Tianlang-Jun knows what he wants to know.
This is not a world where everything can be backed up to the cloud. This would be infinitely worse than losing his outline. That list is everything holding both realms together. There aren't copies.
"Ah, so this is what it takes to gain the full attention of one so important as the advisor to the king, Shang Qinghua. It's good to know something like that, when you're someone like me. A poor, homeless demon with no power of his own beyond what is granted by his blood. You understand why something like this might be necessary." He's monologuing, thank god, but he still isn't saying anything helpful, anything that will give any kind of fucking insight into what he could be thinking. Shang Qinghua has let him exist as a rogue entity for too long. It's not safe to have someone like this wandering. He needs more information.
"What do you want." Shang Qinghua does not ask, because there's too much space between each word for it to have that kind of inflection. He doesn't want to speak too quickly, because he does not know what sort of behavior will cause Tianlang-Jun to bring that flame closer to his Overarching To Do List.
"It seems that my good friend Qinghua is so busy with his lists that he had no time to follow through on our agreement." Interesting, that he's back to calling Shang Qinghua a friend, as if he hadn't just implied it was a threat. As if he isn't holding Shang Qinghua's most precious item hostage before his very eyes. "Surely, he will have more time to cook a dinner for his king if there are not so many other tasks cluttering up his time."
And
What?
What could possibly be the point of this? Shang Qinghua thought he was onto something, thinking that Tianlang-Jun was interested in Mobei-Jun, but this makes no fucking sense. How did they get here? He is going to scream. No more chaotic neutral villains ever, ever, ever again. No more characters that chase their whims from scene to scene. Every character from now on is going to have a clear and established set of values, consistent motivation, driving force.
No time for any of this. Whatever the motivation is, there is nothing for Shang Qinghua to do beyond hug those overpowered thighs and pray that he doesn't take it any further than this.
"Tianlang-Jun will return the list, after I do this?"
"Of course, Qinghua. I, after all, am a demon of my word. Your precious papers will be returned to you, as soon as you take the time to care for your king in the ways that he has taken care of you." Shang Qinghua would laugh at that, the idea that their relationship is unbalanced in Shang Qinghua's favor, but again. The fire.
"This one will do as you say, then."
"Good boy." Tianlang-Jun pats Shang Qinghua's head on his way out the door. Like a dog. He takes the list with him, but extinguishes the flame.
Shang Qinghua is left standing in the middle of his office.
He should do something.
There are hours before he usually goes to bed.
He can't just go to sleep.
There are so many things to do.
He has a whole list of all the things that he needs to be doing right now.
The problem, though, is that there's so much shit to keep track of every single fucking day. There's not enough space in his head to keep track of that, and every time he tries he just drives himself up the wall with no clue how he got there or what he needs to do to get back down.
So. The Overarching To Do List. He figures out what needs to be done, writes it down on the correct region of the list, and then erases it from his brain. He doesn't need to remember any of it. It's on the list. He'll find it again when he makes his daily to do list and when it's necessary for it to come back up.
It's a living document. There are no copies, because it changes seventeen times a day and is always shifting. He writes it in a horrible mixture of English and simplified Chinese characters, so that even if someone else in this world got ahold of the list that controls life across both realms, they would never know what it says or how to interpret it. Only Cucumber-Bro would ever have the context to read the information, and that's never going to happen, because he's far too content to live in his isolated little cottage while his husband waits on him hand and foot. And he'd never want to betray Shang Qinghua, because he's the one making sure Cucumber-Bro can relax and have a life like that.
No Overarching To Do List. No memory of what is even on that list. Nothing to do for the few hours where he usually sits down and makes significant amounts of headway into the neverending list.
There is nothing to do.
He could go to sleep, but there's no chance that he'll fall asleep right now. He's conditioned his body over the past several decades to spend this time awake.
He could go and cook a meal for Mobei-Jun right now. Would that count? Would that get him his list back right now? Tianlang-Jun had saiddinner, specifically. They've already eaten dinner. And Tianlang-Jun specifically pointed out that Mobei-Jun had cooked a meal for Shang Qinghua to eat when he was in front of everyone else. He had said that he would return the list when Shang Qinghua showed the same level of consideration for his king that his king has shown for him. Cooking something right now would almost definitely not meet those requirements, and would just add more tasks onto the pile.
Well. He was complaining earlier, wasn't he? About the lack of time he's been able to spend with Mobei-Jun recently. He might already be asleep, but there's nothing else to do. Maybe he'll go for a walk over toward his quarters and see if he's still awake now too.
Tianlang-Jun may be mad at him for this. His motivation is still so unclear, Shang Qinghua doesn't know what's going to set him off or what would make him happy. But he hasn't said not to spend time with Mobei-Jun, has encouraged it in some specific ways, so he's going to assume this is okay.
The halls of the Northern Palace are long and wandering. With so many different animal features integrated into the demon realm (again, many thanks to the deep and generous pockets of the furry community), there's never a moment where all the members of a demonic court are asleep. Shang Qinghua slips down the hallways, nodding at various nobles and servants as they go past. Everyone else is dressed casually, but Shang Qinghua needs to pull on several layers of draping robes and fur cloaks whenever he ventures outside of his personal chambers, especially at night. He feels like a huge, lumbering marshmallow as he walks down the hallway, all of his movements and sensations buffered by layers on layers on layers.
It's a long walk to his king's quarters. He had offered, after the whole incident with Shang Qinghua running away, to move his office and rooms closer, but Shang Qinghua hadn't seen much of a point. They rarely spend much time together in each other's rooms, and he's already put all his time and effort in finding the right combination of talismans and interior design and heating elements to make the temperature bearable. It would be so much work to design a new space like that.
The crowds thin out as he approaches the king's chambers. Mobei-Jun is not known for his friendly and welcoming demeanor. Someone looking to curry favor, gain his insight, lobby for policy would know better than to try and trouble him late at night. It would have the opposite effect.
Perhaps Shang Qinghua shouldn't be here at all, actually, when you think about it in that context. Maybe this is a dumb idea and he's about to see his king, mussed up from being awoken and furious, telling Shang Qinghua to leave him alone. Shang Qinghua tries to ignore the depraved part of him that feels excited at that image. It's one thing to be a masochist in a fun, sexy, pre-negotiated way. It's another thing to have your boss who has hit you before and could very easily kill you feature in those fantasies.
He tells himself this approximately five or more times a day. It hasn't worked yet, but he's holding out hope.
Besides. Mobei-Jun promised that he would never hit him again. Shang Qinghua has to trust that, because his entire life is built around trusting that right now. So, he pushes down any hesitation and knocks hard on the door. The wood is so thick and dense that it requires that kind of knock for anyone to hear.
It takes a minute and several more knocks before the door flies angrily open.
Mobei-Jun is standing in the doorway. His long, straight hair is caught and tangled on itself in several places. He's wearing loose-fitting, soft pants and a draping robe left open. That is all he is wearing. The endless expanse of his pale, muscled flesh on display has Shang Qinghua's mouth going dry. It could not be more clear that he had been in bed, got up when he heard the knocking, and threw a robe on as he walked over to the door. He was likely asleep, if the grouchy, squinty expression on his face is anything to go by.
What would he do, if Shang Qinghua dropped to his knees right now and blew him, just in the middle of the night in the middle of the hallway outside his chambers?
Maybe he'd let him. A mouth is a mouth. Maybe he'd punt Shang Qinghua across the floor and never talk about it again. Maybe he'd kick him out of the palace and find a different spymaster and advisor.
Shang Qinghua doesn't do it, just like he hasn't in the years that he's known him.
"Qinghua?" The grouchy, squinty face doesn't go away, but it softens a little bit. Likley relieved that it's not some politician here to try and talk about business.
"Ah, My King, sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."
"Something is wrong." The way this man never asks questions, just states what he thinks is true.
"No, no, nothing like that. Just here to-" To what? Just here to do what??? Why is he here? Just because he lost his to do list and has nothing to do? How does he explain that to him at all? "Ah, never mind. Never mind. Go back to sleep."
Shang Qinghua turns away from all that glorious skin and makes it only two steps away before he feels a hand clamp down on the neck of several layers of his robes and cloaks. He yelps as he is scooped up like a scruffed kitten. Mobei-Jun drags him back, slowly, spinning him back around to meet his eyes. Shang Qinghua reminds himself again (again again again again again) that he should not be turned on by his boss manhandling him.
"Qinghua does not often come to see me at this time." Again, not a fucking question, but he's still got Shang Qinghua held still. He's not going to let go without him saying something to explain himself.
"Ah, ha ha, My King. This one does not wish to disturb your sleep." Mobei-Jun flexes his arm in a way that makes Shang Qinghua brace to be shaken, but it doesn't come. He watches the intentional pause and forcible relaxation of that muscle, the same sort of thing he's seen several times since he and Mobei-Jun talked about the whole hitting thing. Still, the relentless, unblinking contact from his ice-blue eyes is cutting into Shang Qinghua, who has never been very good at staying quiet anyway. "It's just that I wasn't sleeping and I thought maybe you wouldn't be sleeping anyway and wanted to see if...ha ha, I guess just wanted to know if you needed something, or anything."
The squinty, grumpy expression has almost entirely disappeared into the usual smooth, blank lines of indescipherable emotion. Shang Qinghua does not know if that is a good sign or a bad sign.
"Qinghua usually uses this time to complete tasks and paperwork."
Huh. Shang Qinghua hadn't realized that Mobei-Jun kept that kind of track of what he's up to.
"Ah, yeah, I guess that's true."
"Qinghua is here instead." There is a tick at the corner of Mobei-Jun's eye. A usual tell that he is getting angry.
"Ha ha, yeah, Tianlang-Jun-" The hand in his collars tightens. There is no pain from it (all fabric, and that's good, it's good that Mobei-Jun is not moving him around by a firm grip on his neck), but the obvious reaction to the name still shakes him a little. "Tianlang-Jun came and took my list."
"The Overarching To Do List."
"Oh, uh, yeah. That."
Mobei-Jun drops the collars and goes to storm off down the hallway in the direction of the guest rooms. Shang Qinghua yelps again and starts to scramble after him.
"Wait, wait, My King, where are you going?"
"He is a guest in my palace. He cannot interfere with the work of my advisor."
"So, what, you're going to fight him?" At the skepticism in his voice, Mobei-Jun whirls around, the same hurt pout that he's had since he was a teenager.
"Is that not why Qinghua is here?"
"No!" Shang Qinghua wails. "I just thought that, if I wasn't doing anything and if you weren't doing anything, well, I guess." The pout has dissappeared off of Mobei-Jun's face, and he is no longer pulling away from Shang Qinghua to head toward the guest quarters. "Never mind. I'm going to just, I don't know, go to bed or something. My King should go back to sleep too. This one apologizes for waking you."
"You came here to spend time together."
Shang Qinghua sputters to a stop at those words, shocked and appauled that Mobei-jun would be so bold as to just go ahead and say something like that out loud, when they never do things like that. He can feel the heat of a blush flooding his cheeks, but Mobei-Jun just nods his head and grabs again at the scruff of his cloaks, before he can find a way to gather all of his words together. Without ceremony, he is dragged back through the doorway and finds himself in the king's private chambers.
In all the time that he has lived in the palace, he has not ever been in his king's bedroom.
The rooms are cold and yawning. The ceilings arc high and elegant above them, carved from a beautiful natural marble deposit and shot through with silver shaped to look like ice filigrie on all the support beams and molding. There is a fireplace in the corner, with a sumptuous fur from a Six-Headed Ice Cavern Leopard spread before it, but no fire in the fireplace. Mobei-Jun has never been the type to pursue any sort of heat, when left to his own devices. In a room this large, where an ice demon has spent the last few hours and the walls and ceiling are carved from stone, there is a kind of ringing freezing cold that cuts right to the core of Shang Qinghua's bones. He feels a shiver wrack through him almost immediately.
In the corner of the room, there is an enormous bed, covered in furs and blankets and pillows. They seem to have been constructed into some kind of nest, so that Mobei-jun can lay on top without having to bundle up in any way. Shang Qinghua hates that he knows this now. His mouth is dry just looking at it, knowing that it might still be cold from when he was laying in it just before Shang Qinghua knocked on the door. The blankets are rumpled and scattered. He could probably figure out a way to keep warm, if he bundled up in there enough. If he were going to sleep there.
Which he isn't going to do. Because they don't do that and never have and there is no reason to think that they ever will.
"Ah, My King, this really isn't necessary." The shivering is mostly from the cold, but Shang Qinghua would probably be shaking either way, with the way that it's basically automatic as a response whenever Mobei-Jun manhandles him like this. Yes, it is objectively fucking hot. This is the demon that was meant to kill him and that knocked him around before and from whom he has begged for his life. He should not be turned on right now. He can't help it.
Mobei-Jun does not seem to be listening. He pulls Shang Qinghua over to the chairs near the fireplace and sets him down in one before sitting silently in the chair across from him. They sit in silence for a second, staring at each other, while Shang Qinghua shakes with shivers, even through all his layers. After a bit of this, Mobei-Jun jerks back into motion and goes to light a fire.
"Wait, My King, you don't need to, that really isn't necessary." Shang Qinghua starts with a loud protest, but it strangles itself to a whisper when Mobei-Jun shoots him a scathing glare. Fine. Fine. He's the king here. If he wants to light a fire in his room then that's his problem. Shang Qinghua certainly isn't going to stop him, especially when the first wave of heat begins to emenate from the fireplace and he feels as his muscles unclench.
When he glances back over at Mobei-Jun, his face has gone well and truly soft, and there's something new and stunning about the way firelight plays off his cheekbones and the planes of his face. Something about this new light, the crackling of the flames, flips the moment from terrifying and cold to something warm and peaceful. Shang Qinghua settles back in the seat, snuggling down a little deeper into all the cloaks, feeling almost as though he should have some kind of warm drink as well.
And, suddenly, it's not so bad at all. He's not panicking anymore, becuase his king dragged him here. His king lit a fire. His king will throw him out when he is done speaking with him. All that he can do it wait to be told when his king's patience runs out.
"Well, My King, should I ask how your day went? It doesn't seem like there's much point, since I was there for most of it and had my people reporting back to me about everything I wasn't there for." Mobei-Jun snorts a delicate laugh, with all the effortless elegance of someone written as wish-fulfillment by a man with a competence kink. "I know you did well with the speech for the Fox Clan, even if I was busy prepping for the banquet instead."
"The Fox Clan," Mobei-Jun says, but there's a nuance to his flat tone that makes the words absolutely scathing. Shang Qinghua leans forward, grabbing onto the arms of his chair, and it's probably a good thing after all, that he's not holding a hot drink right now.
"Did they do something? Why didn't I know that you don't like the Fox Clan? It impacts our plans, and the rooms we give them, and the things we serve at the banquet. If you're going to cut them off as allies, you need to let me know yesterday, so that I can start getting everything in order for something like that. You have to tell me these things, My King, if I'm supposed to be your advisor and spymaster."
"Qinghua can know whatever he likes, regardless of reason."
"Oh," Shang Qinghua feels a blush rising on his cheeks, but they were already red from the cold, so it's probably unnoticable. What the fuck is going on in this place right here? "Well, great, appreciate that, but also I do need to know for my job. And also so that, when I write speeches, I can make them things you're actually willing to say."
"They are...overfamiliar." Shang Qinghua cannot help the way that he laughs nervously at that. It's unusual to hear his king express this kind of targeted hatred rather than a general dislike for everyone. It's funny, to hear him complaining. Also, that is not nearly enough information.
"My King, tell me more. What happened? I was only gone for a shichen. Surely nothing too horrible could have gone wrong in that time."
"One of their delegation has expressed interest in courting Qinghua."
And. Oh. Huh. Well, that's not at all what he was expecting this conversation to be about. It's also still really unclear why that would make Mobei-Jun not like them, unless-
"Ah, they really shouldn't be troubling the king with such things as that. And during your speech as well, no wonder My King no longer likes them. It shows a true lack of understanding for courtly manners. Which one of their party was it? This advisor will do what he can to remedy this situation."
There is a pause, enough to draw Shang Qinghua out of his ramblings and notice the way that the irritation has left Mobei-Jun's face, even as his eyes still rest heavy on Shang Qinghua.
"It was the younger general, with the long black hair and silver ears." If Mobei-Jun is looking for recognition in Shang Qinghua's expression, he finds it, because that's one of the Fox Clan that has been relentlessly seeking conversation with Shang Qinghua over the course of the visit, especially when he has seven other things that he really needs to be attending to. He is handsome enough, almost everyone in this world is, unless they're written to be some low-grade villain. It would be nice, if it were at all possible for Shang Qinghua to find himself interested in anyone over the screaming noise of his pathetic love for his king.
"General River Mud! Yes, I remember him. I wouldn't have expected him to interrupt official procedings in such a way. I'll have to make sure to update my notes on him." Shang Qinghua reaches for the brush he usually keeps just behind his ear, but it's not there, because he was settling in for the night in his office. Without asking, he makes his way over to Mobei-Jun's desk, taking one of his brushes and the thick, half-dried ink still in the dish. He's almost done scrawling the reminder onto his hand when he hears Mobei-Jun speak up again.
"It was not an interruption." Shang Qinghua glances back over at him, his sleeve caught between his teeth to better hold it out of the way while he writes, inconvenitently also blocking him from asking any clarifying questions. "General River Mud of the Fox Clan petitioned appropriately for royal permission to court Shang Qinghua, the king's advisor."
The sleeve falls from Shang Qinghua's open mouth.
"Oh shit." Mobei-Jun is just watching watching watching, waiting for Shang Qinghu to react. "Oh shit, okay, wait, that's not at all what I thought you were going to say. So, wait, okay, is he like officially courting me now? My King, if you blessed the courting, then you know that it would be a great offense to both himandyou if I didn't allow it to happen. So, wait, are you trying to marry me off to another clan?" His breathing is speeding up, and he can feel it. Mobei-Jun must be able to tell as well, because he rises to his feet and begins walking toward Shang Qinghua. "You can't send me away, My King, this place would fall to pieces without me running it and you know that. I can't go to the Fox Clan. I don't even have fur and what-"
Mobei-Jun sets his hand over Shang Qinghua's mouth. It is cold and large enough to cover from one hinge of his jaw to the other. He wants to lick it.
"I denied his request and sent him away." The words are so close. Mobei-Jun is so close. He's so much bigger than Shang Qinghua and his voice is so deep that it shakes the air between them when he speaks. Shang Qinghua needs to take a moment to remember what they're even talking about.
"Wait," he tries to say, but it comes out more like mphg until he is able to wrap his hands around Mobei-Jun's and push it away from covering his mouth. "Wait, but sending him away like that could be terrible for the relationship between us and the Fox Clan. My King, you can't just send away every person that annoys you. Why would you even do that?"
This is the kind of question that does not ever get an answer. Mobei-Jun acts based on his feelings and never takes the time to explain. His advisor must learn to take it all in stride and fix whatever mess was just made. Mobei-Jun is a man of action rather than words.
They're still standing so close, with Shang Qinghua holding his mostly-limp hands in the air between them, from when he pushed him away. There's something sparking in the air between them. In the firelight that flickers, dim this far away. Shang Qinghua is suddenly once again very aware of the bed in the room, large and comfortable behind him. They're so close that he can see the resolve settle over Mobei-Jun, a sure sign that there will be no response, before a thought clearly strikes him anew and he tilts his head, focused on Shang Qinghua's expression.
"Because Qinghua cannot go to the Fox Clan. Because this palace would not survive that loss." Oh shit, oh fuck. Somethings happening. Something is fucking different right now, and there is one long, unending scream echoing in Shang Qinghua's brain. One of those large hands lifts from his grasp to brush almost inperceptibly along the edge of one cheekbone, into his temple. There is a wry, soft smile at the corner of Mobei-Jun's mouth, if you are lookingveryclosely. "Because Qinghua does not have fur."
Shang Qinghua is a mouse in a trap. Pinned, wide-eyed, staring up into the eyes of a predator. Mobei-Jun's hand is resting along the side of his head, elegant fingers pressed into his hair, along the shell of his ear, against his temple.
He's waiting for something to happen. For Mobei-Jun to lean down and claim his mouth like it's his right. For him to laugh in his face and declare it all a terrible joke. Something, something, something but Mobei-Jun is carved from ice. He does not shift or react, simply holds them in that moment. He's watching Shang Qinghua like he's waiting for the same sort of thing, and this is too much. This is a dream. This is a trick. This isn't happening.
Shang Qinghua bursts into awkward and uncomfortable laughter, shuffles his way to the side until he's no longer pressed into that small bubble of space between his king and the desk. The moment shatters on the ground after him. He can practically hear the crack. It's fine. It's better than whatever might have happened if he hadn't done anything.
"Ah, My King, so kind, so kind. Of course this advisor would not leave. Come back to the fire. I have my notes now." He pats at the chairs they were sitting in earlier, awkward, awkward. Mobei-Jun stands with his back to him and the fire for one more breath before he turns and follows the directions, lounging in the chair like a throne. Good boy.
"No need for all that, then. My King told the general no, sent him away. This advisor will manage the fallout. Quick, let's talk about something else." Mobei-Jun does not look angry, but there is something of that pout back on his face, and Shang Qinghua can't look at it for too long or he is going to lose his mind. Anything else. "Oh! This one was wondering what My King's favorite food might be."
A pause, as Mobei-Jun clearly decides whether or not he is going to allow Shang Qinghua to get away with such a blatant effort to avoid any conversation about their most recent interaction. A deep sigh.
"This king does not care much for eating. He will eat what is provided for the occasion."
Right, see, Shang Qinghua knew that. That's why he doesn't already know what his king's favorite food is. Before today, he probably would have just answered that question by saying that he does not have one, that food has never been a source of particular joy for his king.
"Okay, and I know that, but surely My King must have some food that he prefers over others? Or some kind of cuisine he has been curious to try?"
"...Zha jiang mian," Mobei-Jun mutters. There are hints of a blue flush along his ears, and Shang Qinghua cannot figure out why. Where would his king have even had the chance to learn of the existence of zha jiang mian? The demons in his palace tend to eat meat raw or dried, with some rare fruits in the summer.
"Ah, good choice, My King."
"And Qinghua?"
"Huh?"
"Qinghua's favorite meal." Oh. That makes sense. That's how conversations tend to work.
"Hand-pulled noodles, My King." At that, Mobei-Jun dips his head in a firm nod of acknowledgement. This whole conversation is so strange. Everything about this night has been so strange. He has no idea what else they should talk about, and the conversation lapses into silence, the fire crackling between them. When Shang Qinghua cannot stand the quiet any longer, cannot stand the memory of the strange interaction over by the writing desk, cannot stand the looming presence of the bed in the corner, he lets out another awkward laugh, stumbles to his feet, brushes his sweaty palms off against his thighs.
"Well, this one has troubled you for long enough." He feels woozy, like the floor underneath him is rocking with each step. "I will take my leave and let you get back to sleep. See you tomorrow, My King."
"Not a trouble." Mobei-Jun does not stand to follow him or look particularly bereft, but the words ring through Shang Qinghua all the same. This is not how they speak to each other. He remembers the grumpy, sleepy look on Mobei-Jun's face when he opened the door. Interrupting his sleep like that is not a small offense. For him to say that it is not a trouble, now.
Well.
He doen't think on it any further. Better to just let that lie before his mind can get a proper hold on it.
Shang Qinghua extends his hand in a terrible little wave before he slinks back down the hallways, as if he were a criminal escaping the scene of a crime, except he literally was just talking to someone.
Back to the safety and warmth of his own quarters. Tianlang-Jun is not hiding anywhere in the corners. He checked. After that, there is little to do beyond curl up under the heavy blankets of his own bed and allow exhaustion to drag him under.
It's hours before he falls asleep.
#svsss#svsss fanfiction#my writing#svsss fic#svsssaction#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#moshang#mobei jun#shang qinghua#tianlang jun
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Thinking really hard about how Ford is so fucking obsessive man. Like I think thats one of his main character traits.
And like, that would absolutely shine in his relationship with Stan. At first, he just assumes its guilt. He feels bad about erasing Stan's memories, so he spends so much time "making up" for it because of that, right? He's so clingy, he can't take his eyes off stan more more then an hour because he's worried, right?
But it just keeps getting worse.
Ford and Stan set sail and it just gets worse. Stan slowly improves, their relationship improves, but Ford is still just as obsessed. He actually gets worse, but its hard to notice that he can't be away from Stan when they live in the same like 300 square foot space. Ford eventually starts to devolve into a form of Worship of Stan. He doesn't even notice. He's just constantly thinking about how perfect Stan is, how Stan completes him, waxing poetry about Stan's bravery and kindness.
I just love obsessive, possessive, Ford. Ford just gives me the vibes of someone who was made to worship. If left unattended he would fall right back into obsession that we only saw with Bill. And Stan probably laps up the positive attention.
I know this is a basic ass stancest take but I need to rant somewhere Im losing my mind
-👁️🗨️
YESSS omg this is so fuckin gooood i was plannin to respond when im nmore sober but i cant ignore this im sory. your fucking Mind
LIKE fords obsession slowly gettin worse and worse is just. So Peak. like u said at first he thinx its jsut the guilt but may i also propose: he also thinks its partially cuz he missed so much time w him. hes a Scientist. he hasn’t interacted w his brother in 30 — functionally 40 — years! ofc hed wanna learn everything abt him. thats a Normal Response
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Finally, thanks for the apology! It's a pity, of course, that you didn't create your own post, but continue to write under the artist's post (and write hate words to them for their work) and don't tag anyone so that no one will even see this post in the end. But I'll do it for you, don't thank me. @frankbigfan @kr9vorebeazt @dicktat @hostik
If you want to answer, answer my post, and leave dott-fox alone in a good way.
You apologize to everyone, but you keep insulting one of us. It's disrespectful and unfair, to say the least, and it would be strange to think that after all my posts, I won't defend they.
The freedom of one person is pumped where the freedom of another person begins. Of course, you have the right to do what you like (by the way, are you going to apologize for pdf content?). You're just being asked to get away from people and stop pestering everyone with your beloved Frank. None of us hate Frank, but the way you've been trying to shove him down our throats for two years makes us all sick, and some of us really started hating Frank because of this whole situation, which wasn't the case until now.
Read more:
There are quite a lot of works on AO3 and on the ficbook where Frank is mentioned, I know artists who painted Frank, yes, it was a long time ago, but the fact remains that there is content with Frank.
Creating any kind of fandom creativity isn't a snap of the fingers. It's hours and hours of work, hard work. You wouldn't like it if people came to you in comments on your art and fucked up why you don't draw Juan, Aitor, Williams, Brooks - any other less popular characters. So you stop imposing on people. Or, learn to respect the work of other people and offer money for commissions, rather than asking for free requests that no one is obliged to draw for you.
Popular ships in fandoms are a fact. Once upon a time, there were only a couple of works about Haiden, and no one knew about them. People were united by love and interest in them. Find like-minded people. You will not be able to impose interest on people. You will only alienate people from yourself by such behavior. It's normal that a particular ship or character doesn't find popularity, and it's stupid to get mad at it. Make content yourself or pay money to other people, respecting their time and work, if you can't do it yourself.
You don't need to hide behind your problems with interacting with society. None of us hide behind diagnoses, for example, and you shouldn't try to make yourself a victim. Everything that is happening now is just the result of your actions. Accept it and stop fidgeting like you're in a frying pan.
Don't judge other people by yourself, especially their age. Absolutely all the participants in the conflict are older than you. Many are already of age, and some are well over 20 years old.
And yes, no one called you names or got personal. We didn't bully you. We only pointed out your actions and words without touching your personality in any way. So don't lie that someone told you to "fuck you bitch idiot" or attach screenshots where someone actually did it.
~~~
Наконец-то спасибо за извинения! Жаль конечно, что ты не создала свой собственный пост, а продолжаешь писать под постом художника (и писать ему слова ненависти за его творчество) и никого не тэгать так, что этого поста в итоге никто даже не увидит. Но я сделаю это за тебя, не благодари. Если хочешь отвечать, отвечай под мой пост, по-хорошему отстань от dott-fox.
Ты извиняешься перед всеми, но продолжаешь оскорблять одного из нас, это мягко говоря неуважительно и несправедливо и странно было бы считать, что после всех моих постов я не буду его защищать.
Свобода одного человека закачивается там, где начинается свобода другого человека. Конечно ты имеешь право делать то, что тебе нравится (кстати ты собираешься извиниться за пдф?). Тебя лишь просят отстать от людей и перестать приставать ко всем со своим любимым Фрэнком. Никто из нас не ненавидит Фрэнка, но от того, как настойчиво ты пытаешься два года запихнуть нам его в глотку - нас всех уже от этого тошнит, а некоторые действительно начали ненавидеть Фрэнка из-за всей этой ситуации, чего не было до этого момента.
На АО3 и на фикбуке достаточно много работ, где упоминается Фрэнк, я знаю художников, которые рисовали Фрэнка, да, это было давно, но факт остается фактом, контент с Фрэнком существует.
Создание любого фандомного творчества это не щелчок пальцев, это часы и часы работы, это труд. Тебе бы не по��равилось, если бы люди приходили к тебе в комментарии к артам и доебывались, почему ты не рисуешь Хуана, Айтора, Уильямса, Брукса - да кого черт возьми угодно. Вот и ты перестань навязываться людям. Или же научись уважать труд других людей и предлагай деньги за коммишки, а не проси бесплатные реквесты, которые никто не обязан тебе рисовать.
Популярные пейринги в фандомах это факт. Когда-то и о хэйденах была всего пара работ и никто не зал о них. Людей объединила любовь и интерес к ним. Найди себе единомышленников. Ты не сможешь навязать людям интерес, ты только отторгнешь людей от себя таким поведением. Это нормально, что какой-то конкретный пейринг или персонаж не находит популярности, и злиться на это глупо. Делай контент сама или плати деньги другим людям, уважая их время и работу, если не можешь сделать этого сама.
Не нужно прикрываться своими проблемами с взаимодействием с обществом, никто из нас не прикрывается диагнозами, например, и тебе не следует пытаться делать из себя жертву. Все, что сейчас происходит это лишь результат твоих действий. Прими это и перестань вертеться как уж на сковородке.
Не суди других людей по себе, особенно об из возрасте. Абсолютно все участники конфликта старше тебя, многие уже совершеннолетние, а кому-то далеко за 20 лет.
И да, никто тебя не обзывал и не переходил на личности. Мы тебя не буллили, мы указывали лишь на твои действия и слова, никак не трогая твою личность. Так что не надо врать, что кто-то говорил тебе «fuck you bitch idiot» или прикрепляй скрины, где кто-то действительно это сделал.
#good day villedor#call out post#call out tw#artists on tumblr#dying light fandom#dl2#dying light 2#haiden#dying light frank
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This is a weird thought piece question so if you don’t wanna answer it’s okay. But genuinely as a character I think Katsuki is very aware of people he cares about. Almost in an Izuku type of obsessive way, maybe less intense and prone to writing it down, lol. But as I trust your perspective on him a lot I wanted to ask, do you think he’s the type of person as a friend or significant other or potential person, to be aware of insecurities?
Or to care genuinely? For example if you were insecure about your size. Do you think he would be aware of that and be silent? Or would he love the insecurity in spite of your feelings? Or does he not really think twice because he cares about you and doesn’t know you would even feel that way. It’s a weird dilemma I ran into wanting to write a piece for him and I realized I couldn’t figure it out. Hopefully I am explaining myself properly?
Thank you 😭
i understand what u mean lol dw and i think if u read some of my pieces my stance on this aspect of him is hard to grasp bc i dont often write more insecure readers. mostly bc i think its a little bit harder to write well as it requires more nuances but thats a diff can of worms jdhfkj
i think its important to understand less so what bakugou does and does not care about and moreso the way he process information - which is largely intuitive.
like i do understand what you are asking and because bakugou is bakugou - yes, i think he is probably aware of these things. he picks up on them often and usually uses them in some context when throwing insults or even in more light hearted interactions.
but a lot of bakugous informational processing is based on a pragmatic, systemic and reason based way of thinking. and a lot of what impedes that way of acting is his own emotional state. in the beginning of the series, he's a lot more insecure in himself and he projects that onto other people. it causes him to act in very irrational and ridiculous ways
however by the end of the series, katsuki s a fully processed and emotionally realized man. so he defaults to a more elevated, calm and secure version of himself that relies on what he's best at which is using his intuition to draw conclusions and implementing a reason based plan. before he was doing that just with logic.
but he has the emotional tuning to also do this in his relationships and he's taken a lot of time to learn to navigate them.
so i think in a partnership, it's unlikely that he does not know at all. i think he probably picks up on the insecurity in smaller ways but does not put a real name to it (i.e. i dont think he thinks of it consciously / actively) until something comes up which forces him too do it
and that something would be if its putting his partner in any kind of serious emotional distress or comes up frequently as a reason for their upset.
katsuki has this line he says very famously says to shouto "there's no way you could've noticed something that i didnt but lets hear it anyway." and he's being passive aggressive af lol but there is some merit to that.
he's a very keen person naturally and he spends a significant amount of time with you - so he definitely knows to an extent. maybe no actively, maybe not consciously - but just an intuitive understanding.
however, because he loves you - he will only intervene when he thinks its necessary to do so. and this isn't because he doesn't care about you, but because he specifically had to handle his own insecurity and he knows firsthand what you're experiencing in himself.
but katsuki loves you and also has a lot of faith in you. he will push if he thinks you need to be pushed, and he will assure if he thinks you need to be assured. he's a good partner in that way. but for the most part, he won't interfere because he trusts in you as a person to overcome things. insecurity is not something that can be mended by another person if it's within yourself, but it can be healed when it's reframed to you by someone who loves you.
and if you need that from katsuki he will undoutedly give it to you. but he trusts you to handle business basically. so not in a bad way, he treats your insecurities as simply being apartof you.
he doesn't have any feelings about the insecurity itself. he's not lying when he says that. but thats because he loves you more as an amalgalm of all the parts of you. his view of you is rounded out and he sees all of it as you. if he loves you, he loves you. there's nothing that needs to be changed as longs as its you. so he has no opinion on if you like or dislike something. you are you no matter who you are or what you look like.
bakugou is very explicitly not shallow. appearances in love are generally unimportant to him. he falls in love with people not looks even when people don't believe that because he's so pretty lmao
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ae don't see the point in engaging in a fandom if you don't even really like the characters
like, yeah, folks get ford wrong, and they get mabel wrong too. but they also get stan wrong. like. a lot? just as much as they get ford wrong, even? is. is there a chance the only reason folks talk about ford's mischaracterization more is because he's made out to seem worse than he is and stan is made out to be flawless and people like flawlessness and perfection and more attracted to characters deemed as having no negative traits because they feel better projecting themselves onto said character
anyway, ae can't say anything on dipper cause ae don't even really know his character that well (was always more interested in the others unfortunately) so ae have no clue if like. folks are mischaracterizing the main character too
but the point is: you have a main cast of like four characters. maybe five, if you count bill. and three out of those four (maybe four out of those five, considering the. what would we call that. 'wet kitten'-ifing of bill, especially recently), a large chunk of the fandom violently mischaracterizes. do you get us here? like, it's one thing to throw some headcanons into the ring, tweak some bits of a character, etc.
what the fandom does with ford and stan is not that. ford is not ford, and stan is certainly not stan. and mabel? we all know how she's treated
aey don't want to say like. all the folks here are doing it for this reason. but ae'm willing to bet this is due to 1. not interacting with the actual material for a long while and 2. not being able to let go of the series due to nostalgia
and ae get that, ae do. it's hard to let things go that are important to you. but you're not the only one. gravity falls praises weirdness, the differences in beings. lots of folks are attached to the show due to this, especially neurodivergent or just generally outcast folks. it says you will find your place, where you will find community and safety. it says that things get messy, but they can always get better
1: erasing stan's mistakes and flaws and making him a perfect can-do-no-wrong was coerced into every bad thing he's ever done character fucks that up (and the stan in our head personally likes to have his gremlin shenanigans acknowledged). it means stan didn't have to work for his happy ending, he didn't have to better himself, he just had to sit and wait for ford to drop it in his lap. this means it is not equal. it's not fair to ford, if he's the only one that had to put effort into it (especially after the thirty years of being in a completely alien place??). this also becomes an issue when you take into account that a large amount of people still give stan all his canonical trauma. you are not your trauma, you are not responsible for it, but you do need to work with it. it can't get better by itself, you need to help it get to that point. and this is speaking as someone with ptsd. it will always be there, but you can ease the pain. thus, treating stan in this way yields the opposite meaning: he doesn't struggle with it. he doesn't make mistakes. he never lashes out because of the suffering as commonly occurs. he doesn't have to try. making him messy makes him real, and making him real means he can be used as a device to help those hurting to heal. his experiences are relatable for a lot: and thus making him have to work for his good ending instead of just waiting for it to fall into his hold is important. if he can do it, you can, too! you don't get that if he doesn't have to try
2: ford is a very neurodivergent-coded character. this does not mean he is canonically neurodivergent; it does, however, mean that when you demonize him, make his character worse than it is, it is very difficult to avoid spewing out ableism. saying x trait of ford is bad for y reason means you are bound to fall into a pit trap of hurting beings who don't deserve it. most folks think of autism, of course, but this also applies to a lot of other things. personality disorders, paranoia and anxiety, ocd, and a whole host of other things folks have no control over. he has a lot of hurt he was never able to process properly, and that adds to him being a messy character. this is good! he works hard to pry his life from his abuser, and he works even harder to better himself and get his happy ending with his family! and yet. the fandom does not acknowledge any of that. he is demonized for things stan does, too, and ae have never such horrific victim blaming as in the fandom. again, this hurts people. he is not irredeemable, and he is not responsible for what his manipulative abuser did to him. implying or outright saying he is harms beings that are trying to heal from similar experiences. furthermore: the emphasis on him being arrogant, having an ego. stop that. if he has a little bit of arrogance to him, so what? that's normal, that doesn't make him a bad guy. especially when folks dig so hard to find any scraps that prove this apparent trait of his. everything is scrutinized. learning to love yourself is important, and gaining a little bit of an ego is part of that. building confidence and pride in your accomplishments is good! being able to genuinely say you're cool or amazing or smart or beautiful or strong is good! building all of this up is an important part of healing, especially from trauma, and demonizing ford for it is actively working against this
pointing these things out isn't hating on stan or defending ford, either. the characters have personalities, and it's better in the end to let them keep them, as messy as they may be. stan has flaws, ford does too. but they're good people, they have good intentions, and they work to better themselves and repair relationships. they're not all the way there, yet, but they will be. you just won't get to see it (that's what fics and fan art and headcanons and discussions are for)
this turned out so much longer than ae meant it to be, but like. idk, needed to get our thoughts out ae guess
#...put this in the tags? what. absolutely not#like yeah it's an important message but also we are easily scared#that's not to say you can't reblog. just that putting it in the tags broadcasts it to absolutely EVERYONE#and some of that everyone is made up of folks we would rather not know we exist
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This popped up on my dash and since you said that the conversation is open, I thought I would share my two cents, even if it might be stuff you are already familiar with and do yourself. I don't think I'm in the same fandoms as you but things mentioned here are observations made from multiple fandoms. Although I have been writing in AO3 instead of tumblr for the most part, my experience here comes from writing almost exclusively Steve Rogers longfics (mostly 50k+ words, 10+ chapters) from 2021. I don't claim to be super popular - I'm just reflecting on the relative differencies I have noticed in my engagement.
First of all, please don't quit a series just because it has been over a month. That's not a long time for an update at all! If you're writing fic, it's something you do on your free time without getting paid, so there's absolutely no reason at all to apologize life getting in the way.
From my own experience, I have to agree with the consistency and speed of updates being pretty big factors on engagement. I have noticed most reader engagement when I have been able to push out one or more update a week for multiple weeks straight. It helps people stay engaged with the story and invested when the story is fresh in their minds. But then again, I have gotten a lot of comments when coming back from a hiatus too so I think it's not the only factor at all.
Writing a lot, even if it's not the same series, helps keep one's fics on people's minds, and helps establish you as someone who writes X character (with a certain kind of characterization). I share sneak peeks sometimes, but that's just because I am too impatient to wait, they're not from 'marketing' standpoint. Personally I try to focus on writing and let the writing itself do the rest, but I do make a point to reply to comments and thank people, even if that is sometimes very delayed, so that they know I appreciate them. I also don't talk badly about my own writing, because as a reader, seeing someone do that can very easily turn me off from reading their story. (To be clear, I don't mean venting about the human frustrations of writing but publically calling your own stories bad etc.)
One of the big things for me as a reader and a writer is having multiple storylines going and having 'hooks' in the story, so to speak, so that the readers know what they're looking forward to when the story continues. Cliffhangers are the ultimate form of this but things like a character uncovering a partial piece of information that raises questions work too. I spend a lot of time establishing chemistry, both romantic and platonic, so that the readers have something to root for.
Then again, engagement always depends on the story. Some things do better than others. Sometimes I think a fic is going to be well-liked and it doesn't get much attention, sometimes a thing I thought was just pure self-indulgence gains a lot of reader interaction. Which brings me to my next point - I think that the writer's enjoyment bleeds through the story to readers; things that I have enjoyed writing the most are my most popular fics. And sometimes when I think I'll write some easy 'trope soup' that'll get a lot of interest, it's crickets. I think there's a lesson there for me.
I try to engage with people and be a part of fandom beyond writing. I read and comment other people's fics, I reblog stuff, I talk about everyday things and try to stay active even when I have no capacity to write (happens to us all). It helps foster a sense of community, and while it's not self-serving and I read and comment out of genuine enjoyment, ultimately being active in fandom and engaging with writing helps us all. It does feel like current fandom population doesn't comment as much as they used to, which is a shame. But I try to be the change I want to see in the world.
It's also worth noting that sometimes there are these 'lulls' in fandom where everyone is sort of quiet and busy with life, I assume. Like major holidays. They just happen, and the season will change again. Also, scheduled reblogs and comment replies help reach different sets of people.
Finally, focusing too much on the stats is a thing that for me is a road to madness that sucks all enjoyment out of writing. It is human to want engagement and look at the pretty numbers but again, what matters is the enjoyment you get from a story. Personally I have written a 250k longfic in a tiny niché that was commented regularly by one single person and occasionally by about five people. And I still love that fic to death and am so proud of myself for writing it.
That's my two cents, from my personal experience. As always, they should be taken with a grain of salt, and they might not be universally applicable. I wish you the best with writing and hope that the muses are kind to you.
Writers of multi-chapter fics:
How do you keep your readers engaged as the story gets longer?
I've heard from many, and seen it myself, that interaction drops significantly as the chapters accumulate (which I honestly do not even understand...hence why I'm asking this) but I've also seen a lot of writers who have quite lengthy fics where the engagement and excitement seems to stay consistent throughout.
They're receiving asks with comments and questions about the latest chapters, the reblogs are abundant compared to likes, and I'm just curious if there's anything anyone does differently to help maintain this other than just being a great writer 🤣 (which I'm realizing is probably the key thing and that there's nothing to do other than just be able to write a really good story which I'm clearly not haaaaa)
I've tried sharing snippets of upcoming chapters in the past and they've always fallen on their face, I've released chapter playlists, etc so I feel like from a "marketing" standpoint I've done what I can? And also as writers we shouldn't even have to work that hard to "promote" our fics considering people ask to be on taglists and what have you. (This is the site for sharing and ACTIVELY participating in fandom...)
It's been a struggle to keep myself motivated to finish up my series and I'm starting to wonder if there's even a point now that it's been over a month since I've updated (which I realize consistent updates are likely a huge factor as well 🙃 but, you know, life.)
Anyway. Thinking out loud here. Any advice/conversation is welcome! 💗
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@alecta-beckwourth
While Courtney had no problem being from District Ten, he hated having the number branded on his bicep like a beacon. He was busy taking out his frustration on a punching bag, trying his best to use it as a shield to keep his form out of sight from the rest of the Tributes, and acutely aware that the viewing gallery for Sponsors and Mentors saw all.
He was by no means a trained boxer, but growing up with younger siblings had taught him how to throw a punch or two, and the repetitive motion of fist against bag kept him in a semi-sane mindset as others around him trained in various ways to kill him. And of course, it was then that One approached him. He glanced up for a moment before piling into the punching bag, grunting with the effort and hoping she'd leave him alone - but sensing she would not.
#t: alecta 2#133#training#task 5#interact with someone your character doesn't like#<3#(the writer loves the character tho!!)#i also promise i didn't know these workout gifs of him were at a punching bag lol
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Oh hi there transfem discussing her experience in the trans community i just had a quick question about your post
What does tme mean?
Oh okay i see i understand, thank you.
What does transmisogyny mean?
Ah I see, I get it.
What's a trans woman?
Oof scary. One last question.
What's a woman?
Thank you for being my own personal google (not like you had anything better to do right?) and derailing the point of your post for my own personal education. I will now add nothing of value to this post in return. Bye bye!
#channel 3#ignore me i'm bitching#it's just like. somehow the word tme/tma magnetizes people who refuse to do a second of thinking EVERY SINGLE TIME#like on one hand i almost feel bad for bitching#because generally if someone is unaware enough to ask theyre probably not aware of the precedent of multiple tme people asking on every post#what tme/tma means#BUT ALSO it happens so often it straight up feels like it's intentional#and like even if you don't want to look it up i feel like it's easy to guess by context clues#but like regardless of that#could you imagine going to literally any other discussion like that and asking them to define basic terms#'hi thank you for sharing your math thesis with us. just one question what does that t shaped symbol mean? this one: +'#'hi thank you for your in depth analysis of whether the cubs win this year. just one question. what's baseball'#'hi thank you for this in depth character analysis. just one question. what's a book?'#like in all of these cases we can agree that either a. they're a bad actor or b. they're not doing the bare minimum to engage with the post#why is it that people think it's still okay to do that on posts by transfeminists? (<- knows the answer)#(also i'm sure this also happens to cisfeminists but i think more people know better than that now)#like. if you do this i don't think you're evil or like transmisogyny incarnate or whatever but like. in the nicest way#i want you to think through what you expected to happen with. like sincerely and ask yourself was this productive to anyone#did this add anything of use to the post or to anyone else#explaining tme/tma doesn't add use to the post because transfems have explained it billions of times elsewhere#and knowing what it means is generally the bare minimum for interacting with a post discussing transmisogyny#so who does it help to ask? further who does it hurt to ask? in what context might my question be taken?#whagever who give a shit
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did nobody ask you for red letter day? absurd! *I* wanna know about red letter day!
hello captain and friend anon!!! I KNOW I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN SIX MILLION YEARS SO THANK YOU FOR THESE ASKS <333
okay SO the first thing is, you have to understand, my list of documents for this fic looks like this:
anyway i do love this fic even though it FIGHTS ME; it's supposed to have both Fights and Mysteries and both are hard to write 😅
anyway hmmm i'm going to cheat by including a Dick POV section that I am probably gonna end up cutting, because i like it but i also worry that it slows down the dialogue?
excerpt below the cut! the only context that you need is that Dick and Tim have been having the "should Tim call if there's danger in Gotham" argument again (Tim's position is "no"), partly because they both have genuine positions on this argument, but also because it enables them to sublimate an emotional conflict into a work conflict and thus avoid talking or thinking about their feelings, which is a shared pathology goal:
Dick would bet Tim never mouthed off to Bruce like this. One of the many things that suck about being the knock-off Batman is that none of Dick’s orders really stick. All of the responsibility without the authority to back it up. At least when Dick was leading the Titans, they did what he freaking told them. …Mostly. …Okay, sometimes. The awful truth is—and he tries not to dwell on it because it’s pointless and doesn’t achieve anything, but—everything with Tim, sometimes it reminds him of the worst times with the Titans. The same uneasy feeling of dread, like he’s grabbing for someone who’s slipping through his fingers. Roy’s crossed arms. The clock creeping toward midnight, staring at the champagne, knowing in his heart that Kory wasn’t coming. After Tartarus: watching Roy walk out of the room, watching Donna follow him, staring at Vic’s back, Kory’s back, all of them walking out, and no one left but the newcomers. When the personal is so fucked up that all you can do is double-down on the professional, and even that doesn’t help, and then— (Get a grip, Grayson.) And anyway, this isn’t like the Titans, is it? Dick was out-of-line, there, in retrospect. He’s never been good at losing people gracefully. Pushing Kory for marriage when she was already pulling away, trying to cling to her instead of letting her go. Giving ultimatums after Tartarus, when he knew the team already resented his orders. Making decisions behind Vic’s back, trying to force him to stay. It’s an ugly bad habit, picked up from Bruce: things are slipping, and your people are mad at you, so you get scared, and then you get authoritative and controlling so you can hang onto them, except you can’t control them, so then they get even angrier and you lose them anyway. It’s easy to see in Bruce, hard to see in himself, but he knows it’s there. He barely managed to catch himself in time, with the Titans. Is he doing the same thing to Tim? Does he need to back off? But Gotham is risky. Tim’s always been capable, obviously, but…it’s okay to be a bit authoritative, isn’t it? Tim should call if there’s someone who looks unusually dangerous. That’s just common sense. Dick’s not asking for miracles, here.
#general unreliable narrator warning sdfsdfsd#dick. honey. kory needed space after being tortured + that was not your fault or the result of your choices actually#anyway i'm so torn because on the one hand i feel like this is worryingly close to info-dumping in a way i don't like#and i also worry that it's not giving enough context for someone who's not familiar with the comic references#but at the same time mmm okay this isn't the main point of this or anything#but part of what i find so appealing about the dick + tim conflict#is its potential to interact with their different types of abandonment issues#i feel like tim's abandonment issues generally have enough play in fandom that i don't have to spend a lot of time establishing them#whereas most dick-centric fics tend to focus on other aspects of his character#but dick has a lot of anxiety about losing people too#like. it's complicated bc he doesn't process it or narrate it to himself in quite the same ways that tim does#but it's very much an underlying anxiety imo
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I was thinking the other day that man, kokuto neji is such a character and I haven't liked a writer character like this since... shang qinghua?
which naturally led me to this thought: jj fic with svsss-style au where neji transmigrates/gets isekai'd into the world of havenna. as domina, of course.
it's extra fucked up imo because at least when sqh transmigrated in his book, he made up all of those characters and they mostly stayed in the realm of fantasy. like, sure, lbh was kinda based on himself in some ways and mbj was his ideal fantasy, but they still mostly stayed fictional, you know? sqq (sy) had to fix his plots because the characters sqh wrote strayed too far from their original plotlines
but theater makes a fictional world a bit too real and personal, especially when you use real people as inspirations for your writing. with neji, he'd be looking at rukiora and see three different people (mitsuki acting as rukiora; rukiora who was written based on a younger version of neji; rukiora who is her own person in this weirdly real world of havenna). neji would see fugio and to him that is both sou acting as fugio and the fugio who grew up with poison flowers. miguel is both fumi and the guy who ran away from his neshiromi fields. the only constant would probably be chicchi. she is too much like kisa in that... well. neji didn't really have a backstory for chicchi. chicchi is a blank canvas just like kisa is as an actor.
anyway. yeah, very sv-style character arc where neji, much like shen yuan in sv, is forced to humanize the villain. except this villain was his creation and is also tied to a bunch of personal issues for neji that he Doesn't Want To Think About and also he doesn't? really understand the character he wrote tbh?
isn't art supposed to process your emotions for you!! why must he process these himself!!
can you imagine neji, who always casts himself as a seer of some sort (fortune teller, ushinoko) or someone who generally has some control over his future or his "creation" (who is mary if not just another side of neji anyway; she's takihime redux, and takihime is also. neji). imagine this dude being transported inside the play he wrote but he doesn't understand it and he has no control over it and everyone's acting both in character and out of character. he both knows and doesn't know these people. they're fictional but also... real? does he treat them as real people? is domina real? he wanted his actors to imbue parts of themselves into his characters. are these people really just characters from a script? are they his quartz classmates? is he allowed to even hope that that's the case?
it's both THE improv exercise of his dreams and also. a nightmare
#mine musings#liveblogging jj#jack jeanne#i do kinda want to write this eventually. like separate from a njmtsks fic#oh god. not me wanting to write a fic about a story within another story. oh rama havenna...#we can even throw in the whole prayer theme. like yes the priest preaches in a godless town and he carries a bible but hear me out#what if the god he's preaching about is himehiko instead#like. prayers and confession as offerings to a theater god. said theater god put you in your own play to “help” you fix it bc you#as the scriptwriter don't even understand anything about your own play#i kinda envision this as a neji & kai fic#though neji mostly struggles with rukiora and chicchi and the way domina prevents him from reacting authentically#neji knows everyone's backstories and inspiration but them BAM he has to face chicchi and he doesn't know anything about her#bc he was banking on kisa making chicchi her own character and being the 'transparent vessel' that helps everyone improve#and also he just had zero notes about chicchi lmao#neji every night at pontartia: is she being ooc right now or is this how chicchi was supposed to be all this time#like remember that time when he said to sou that he only realized what mukai's character was about after kisa got her act together#it's happening agaaainnnnn with chicchi#meanwhile rukiora hates him soooo much and neji is sad that he can't even confess about this to the priest bc it would be ooc for domina#mikki hates him!! except that's not mikki. but she looks and sounds and acts like mikki!! and also like a younger version of neji!!#he'll look to jire and he's all sad and mopey and neji is like. suzu having nuance is GREAT but also suzu not being cheery feels so bad man#where's my moodmaker? hachipochi missing hours :(#he tries to talk to sou but that's not sou that's fugio and also. fugio only cares about chicchi#domina barely even interacts with miguel so neji has to devise ways for domina to talk to him while being in character#but the minute he gets close rukiora is there and miguel would never talk to someone that makes rukiora upset. go away madame!!#neji is left to commiserate with otori/facchio and himehiko is laughing in the background
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another day another "applying the concept 'disposability' to 'someone withdraws from a personal relationship, & that wasn't signed off on by the other'" kill me
#literal acknowledged interpersonal abuse Needing to be ''mediated'' (implicit premise of preserving that relationship >>>)#and if the victim doesn't participate they're treating their abusive partner / abusive relationship as ''disposable''#like in what meaningful way. getting away from an abuser is ''disposing'' of them like imprisonment / killing From A State?#dropping an abusive relationship is ''disposing'' of it? like uh yeah i sure hope it is#this is always Vaguely Applied to ''ppl don't want to HANDLE CONFLICTS or DO THE WORK'' & then connected to political actions#like well someone's just a bad person In The World / All Things if they stopped being my friend and i don't know why#like of course that Can Be good faith. it's a personal business#but if someone ghosts you and you truly don't know why Yeah maybe there's something going on but like okay let them go#if they want to do that for reasons you don't think are Compelling or they just aren't interested / putting in that Effort then like#what Friendship is really being lost here. but then tweet about it with no context & a zillion ppl like SO TRUE kys randos#[fart reverb Conflict Is Not Abuse] standard abuse apologetics which are easy & a zillion ppl go SO TRUE b/c It's Abuse Culture#someone HAS to Answer My Texts / Calls / In Person Confrontations As A Bold Clearsighted Political Actor are you kidding#someone really doesn't. even if you Really are like ''and i'm not even consciously malicious'' what a high bar#one gazillion abusive parents will tell you And My Estranged Child Won't Even Tell Me Why / Doesn't Have Any Good Reasons / Won't Talk....#what am i supposed to doooo i'm at a losssss And Really I'm The Victim#''i want to break up'' / ''okay i don't :) let's talk through Your Feelings :) [waffle around until insisting on Same Access To Person]''#someone can rescind interpersonal access to themself For Any / No Reason. on a dime no explanation necessary. for god's sake#and friendship is not actually some magically pure & Neutral relationship either. same things#anyway just unfollowed some rando for their thread spinning off a vague qrt ''ppl are so AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION they unfriend u''#going on & on abt how You Need To Put In The Work & Effort & You're Just Probably A Bad Person Otherwise & Disposability like#the disposability is my three points wastebasket toss. death via the state =/= someone won't talk to you. can we be at all serious#every day i reach out further like aplatonic people [some emblem gesture] lovelessness [same] help me#thinking of a Good Tweet i saw abt framing everything re: interactions with others around Consideration first & foremost#wildly enough the way you treat people doesn't need to have Fundamental Assumptions re: like ah Friendship / Community / Love / Family &ccc#how do you treat a stranger. how do you treat someone who you don't personally like &/or vice versa. how do you treat ppl you don't Meet.#it's all so vague it could mean Anything but a) often hints towards [abuse victims are framed as Bad Political Actors]#& b) then that's what people read into & respond to for sure lol#as ever ''oh everyone's just little bitches who can't handle any discomfort. yes; this was prompted by my being discomfited''#wait yeah lol i did not Confront this stranger to try to Posit this to them in twttr's character limit; just unfollowed. disposability smh
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Every time I see someone use Purple Haze Feedback for 'UwU FuGio real!!' or paint Giorno as a coldhearted sadistic master manipulator I feel myself coming closer and closer to snapping
#theskinwalkerqueenspeaks#granted i don't like fugio#i don't see a problem with the ship it's just not my personal otp#hell sometimes i see really good fugio art or fic stuff and i go 'y'know what fuck yeah that slaps'!!! i'm not a fugio hater#but the entire point of purple haze feedback was not to be endgame ship material#i'm also not saying that you couldn't use that to back up your ship but if that is the only thing you got out of it you should take a step#back from fandom and shipping culture bc you should be able to interact with a piece of media without thinking 'how can i ship this'#also giorno is a deeply traumatized teenager he ain't manipulating the mafia that easily lmfao#that one goes out to the crowd who think that giorno only told bruno what he wanted to hear#which is bullshit in itself because he hadn't even heard of bruno prior how the hell would he pull 'oh yeah same i hate drugs too'#out of his ass without knowing bruno and without bruno ever saying that he hated passione's involvement in the drug trade#it's a huge leap#also!!#giorno went out of his way more than once to try to keep his team alive and at the cost of not achieving his dream at that#those are not the actions of someone who doesn't care who lives or dies as long as his goals are met#you all need to rewatch the series and reassess how you see characters because holy fuck you missed so many gods damn points#rant over
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