#integra and Alucard being bros

[dont-need-one-of-these-do-i]

I think they’re silly and I like their odd relationship, so here is some young integra hanging out with Alucard

I think the pose is based on a piece of Arcane fanart I saw ages ago but idk.

[krewekreep]

How He Would Really Be (or) Baby Daddy Red Flags

I might also name this Baby Daddy Red Flags 😂😭 I don’t know

Actually this is gonna be a lil fun text post series that’s slightly fan fic but moreso a Drabble that’s acknowledges our collective delusion. It comes from a tumblr experience I had I’ll elaborate on and link later:

First Off: Alucard (Hellsing / Hellsing Ultimate)

He’s an OG baby daddy tbh (I’m black I know I’m using og wrong, it’s been butchered beyond redemption. Oh well. 😭) he’s truly part of my “damn this type is not good for me in real life.” (LMAOAOAO)

I love yall but alucard (hellsing) is so overtly and dangerously yandare (one of my main men so im not judging) but I am amused by coding to him to be “mean to everyone but me” if he in character grew that true of a bond with you. 1. You’re never going outside or out of his site like actually 2. You could do whatever you want INSIDE but like don’t try to leave 😭 3. You’re literally never gonna be independent again like fuck him just eavesdropping all the time he’s gonna be lurching over you so bad your back is to his chest every other step 😭

I can absolutely see him getting “mad” at you when his affection INEVITABLY gets overwhelming. I could see Alucard wanting to dress you, bathe you, and while it can seem hot that’s pretty…👀 he also would absolutely put you in a situation you think he won’t save you from but does. Likewise any public outing requires hand holding the entire time. Don’t worry he’s strong enough to maneuver you as he needs but I get annoyed when men just use their strength randomly with me 😭 not negative but like okay big boy wtf 😂

He’d throw you to the wolves and have you likely in some real ass traumatizing fake dangerous scenarios to save you and make you that much more dependent on him. This is literally Vlad the Impaler (for those who watched Ultimate, plus that form is genuinely so fucking hot omfg.) he lowkey did this to Sera mind you 😭 he literally will let Anderson scare the fuck out of you cause they’ll both have the hidden agenda of mutual amusement (like their literally bros if they stopped being intolerant of each other LMAOAOA)

That is a man of overreaction, self indulgence, self righteousness, and performance…have fun. 😀

Again…you think he gonna let you have any freedom? Your choices will be faux independent my loves. You’re his and I imagine (me @ 12 Jesus I needed another baptism) you likely wanna be his 😭 but yeah girl all men are burdens he’ll just be a really parental, controlling one. Plus he old as hell and will likely wanna lecture your young mortal ways like ew shut up grandpa. Only way out is linking up with Sera and Integra. Sera will sneak you out and have safe fun with and Integra will be sure to demand Alucard leave you both alone. You’ll be supported and protected but def link up with the girlies to keep him in check.

(This actually literally amuses me so much and feels very sex in the city for no reason lmaoo) + who else is actually gonna be the worst to be with? (Gojo, all tea all shade)

[grimescum]

choose violence meme for 1, 13, and 18 >:3c !!

KAYLA COMING IN CLUTCH OMG do u knoq how painful it is to not just answer walter for each one. i had to sit here and ponder bro

1. this one os hardddd coz the few characters i can think of are usually misinterpreted by the fandom for jokes? and i get that but i Think. i'll say ogata (golden kamuy). i see the thing where people take a stoic character and make them Alpha Daddy Dom (do you get what i mean. am i crazy. like how men are pictured in shitty romance manga or webtoons) and that pisses me off because i can tell its not done for the funny. it's probably not a regular occurrence though, i mostly see it while browsing pinterest

my first thought of course was walter but i'm not necessarily unhappy with the fandom's perception of him. more humanizing aspects of him are either only implied or are just crumbs so i get why people would take the easy route and turn him into a cardboard cutout of a character if theyre not crazy. that being said (and this kinda ties into what i said above) i still get pissed off when people chalk him up to being evil or sexy or have him show only one personality trait which is either kind old grandpa or smug sexy grandpa

i am a big fan of humanizing characters . please make ur characters vulnerable ❤️ i'm kind of a hypocrite because of how many pictures i draw of sexy walter but uum. hes sure as hell vulnerable in them so (/j im working on it, its more an issue with my motivation)

13. alucard (hellsing) i think. i just . sometimes it feels like people forget how tragic he is and either make him entirely too silly. but again what they draw doesn't necessarily reflect what they truly think, i just wish more people would focus on just how fucked up he is.

that stupid hellsing abridged that i hate (slight exaggeration) probably contributed to how people portray him tbqh

18. zorin (hellsing) on the basis that she's hot and i want to see more muscle women

gansoku (golden kamuy) on the basis that he's adorable and funny and a well made interesting character. i can see why the others outshine him obvs i just wish he got more love

uuhmm walter's potential relationship with seras (hellsing) because i think it would be so sweet to see him act as a sort of father figure towards her (no i am not projecting my deep rooted desire for an older man i see as my father figure to be kind to me whatsoever)

the trauma that integra (hellsing) would likely have. all this talk about how shes badass and hot, and its true, but there's so much you can say about her that people usually don't. i'd love a comic or a fic or whatever where integra finally feels comfortable enough around a person to loosen up

i started getting sleepy coz i was thinking so hard 😭 i hope this is coherent . i dont interact w fandoms much outside of my own little bubble so

[nuclearforest]

May I request our boy Pip on the list ask?

I love my boy Pip. He deserved better. Anyway, ty for dropping the ask, Rotten!! Time to think about things I haven't really bothered to in a while lol.

1: sexuality headcanon

Summed up by the phrase "I'm not gay, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks." And I don't mean that in the offensive sense. Pip is largely straight, but has definitely questioned himself and engaged in some intimate acts with men. Just to give it a shot while he was young and staring death in the face.

Maybe the best term is straight but homoflexible. Like he is attracted to women, but under the right set of circumstances he wouldn't turn a man down even if he wouldn't usually pursue it. And all things considered, for as rare as it is, Pip is pretty comfortable with it.

If anything, one of the things keeping him from being any more interested in men is all the time he spends with the rest of the Geese. Camp is a bit too rough and fighting with and losing men like your brothers creates quite a bit of emotional scar tissue.

2: otp

SerPip. They deserved so many good things and I start sobbing every time I have to watch Pip's death. At least they have each other for company forever, though. 'Til death do they part is no match for a determined little vampire, apparently!

3: brotp

Canon-wise I dunno if we really saw Pip's interactions with the rest of the Hellsing cast to really say he'd be bros with anybody (even between Iscariot and Mill!) But I think he'd probably be pretty cool bros with Integra. Similar ages and leaderly roles in their respective groups. It's easy to see them kicking back to have a cigar together and chat at least once. Teggy desperately needs more friends and socialization outside of work, too, and so in that respect Pip would be healthy for her.

But that said non-canon wise it's gotta be Pip and Barrett. Like, they're at the right age to wingman for each other and they have absolutely iconic chemistry as friends. We need to see more of them. Pretty pls. (I mean I could theoretically also write some but I am far more inclined to write uncle Pip to Barrett's kids because That is also rich with possibility...)

4: notp

Honestly I don't give a shit who ships what or how relationships between other characters are explored. And like, I think there are plenty of chances to explore Pip as a comrade and friend to many folks of the cast. But if we're talking about romantic shipping, I don't think I could ever see Pip with Alucard or Walter. And TBF I haven't seen it, but it also seems like a crack thing with relatively little canon support (until somebody kicks down my door and informs me otherwise).

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Dude is surprisingly good at holding a home together. Like he keeps the place clean enough, knows how to cook basic things, and probably bothers to at least half-ass making his bed every morning. There's something about the civility to be savored at home before going back out to work, you know? He lives like a dog the rest of the time so he may as well live like a man while it suits him.

6: favorite line from this character

Full disclosure I do not really bond closely with lines or specific phrases. So it's hard to remember and I had to go back and listen to a bunch of stuff lmao.

But pip's little monolog to to Seras before Zorin shows up where he's talking about London and how nice and normal people were just kinda gets me. It's not quite the same as a love letter to the mundane life, but he's one of the few folks in hellsing really showing off some humanity there. So I really like that one, as often as I forget about it lol.

7: one way in which I relate to this character

Honestly Pip seems like the kinda guy to roll with the punches and that's how I like to think I am too. Like, he's adaptable: learns the supernatural is real (ok), decides he wants a vampire gf (brave man), and still manages to stand for his core beliefs at the end of the day. I like to think I'm the same in that sense, where I can adapt until I have something worth standing up for.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

I dont think anything canon pip would do could ever give me second hand embarrassment. But also consider he can't really rub one out in privacy after being made into a familiar. And he's stuck in his uniform unless he needs to change. Seras can't just imagine him in other clothes, right????

Moreover why do any vampire ghouls keep their clothes???? Why are they not naked???? Is Alucard just one giant closet?????

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

CINNAMON ROLL (and I will fight for this)

[voiice-of-the-soul]

why some people be shocked at the thirst for hellsing characters? my brother in christ, they are literally ex porn characters

[laski-and-sage]

Accidental AU no.3 - Actor AU

Not really accidental but we randomly started talking about it and adore it too much not to post it!!

What if Hellsing characters were actors.... for Hellsing

• Hans: "Oh my GOD finally I can talk again! Being mysterious because you don't talk- okay! But that shit? Man... no!"

• Alu: Do i really have to lick the floor? Cus if yes... Yikes

• Major: I'm glad that my german parents teached me this annoying accent, but it's not only annoying... it's fucking hard to do that!

• Schrödinger, reading the script: So basically I'm a furry...?

• Anderson: Yoooo vlad my dearest brother from another mother- I'm sorry but the next scene is a fight scene and even though you beat me last night with the vodka... I'm gonna win this one!

• Integra: Smoking? REALLY?! No! I'm not gonna- you do cgi? Okay, deal

• Seras: Aw man... i hate these push up bras- does this character really need so much tiddy?!

• Alu fighting Anderson: come @ me bro!! *the fight scene gets interrupted by them both laughing*

• Pip: I'm gonna die? Aw man... But at least I get the cool scenes!

Alex: we're all gonna die, what do you want?

• Doc: I am NOT discussing the outfit. I LOVE IT

• Maxwell: My voice... after all this manniacly screaming... it's dead like most of the cast-

• Alexander casing Maxwell around with a bayonet after they played the death scene just for fun. — Bonus points if Maxwell screams

• Alu making a selfie with pips running death scene in the backround and Integra stands besides him with the peace sign

• Maxwell making photos as Alu sleeps in one of the studio corners bc the nightscenes had to be made

• Zorin suffering with her Make-up. The Makeup-artists suffer as well

• Heinkel just annoyed bc the bandages for the last scenes. Scenes have to be remade cus those bandages constantly slip

• Heinkel just screaming of frustration and Anderson has to stop her from glueing them in place

• The dark gloomy scenes just get the funniest in the studio. So many bloopers

• Anderson just forgetting the bible texts and HE'S RECITE ANYTHING! Like starwars. Hobbit. Harry Potter

• *crosses bayonets* ... May the force be with you-

•"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

"Wasn't it more like... y'know... biblical stuff?"

"Yeah... I forgot..."

"Again?!"

"TRY TO REMEMBER THE BIBLE YOU BITCH!"

• *"stabs" Alucard* AVADA KEDAVRA

Alu: *laughing HARD*

As always. Maybe more will be added. But so far....its free to use. Just @ us so we can see it! :DD

[thirstyforlulu]

Yandere Hellsing x Reader HCs? Including Millennium

Integra:

She’s a very possessive yandere

With her money and power, she has the means to get her hands on you

She’s good at playing cool, you won’t catch on for a while

Sure you notice that she never sends you on missions and that she’s always having you work near her office, but that’s just her being a good friend

When she decides to approach you romantically, she’s very forward

Around you she’s a touch starved animal, unlike her usual put together appearance

If you deny her feelings or try to run, get ready because she’s not giving up that easily

She’ll pull whatever strings she has to in order to find you

She’ll spend thousands bribing people or tracking you

Once she knows where you are, she’ll send Alucard to collect you

When she has you she’s very loving

She’ll want to constantly be touching you in some way

Usually that means sitting beside her while she works at her desk

As long as you’re good, she’ll let you wander the entirety of the manor

Since you tried to run she’s added all sorts of security measures so you can’t get out

Act up though and she will chain you to the wall in her office

“Y/N, your behavior has been deplorable lately and needs correcting.

Don’t give me those sad eyes, this is all your fault.”

Walter:

He’s a sneaky yandere

Very observant, he’ll learn your patterns and preferences

At the start he’ll leave you gifts like your favorite food or pretty flowers

He uses it as an excuse to get closer to you

He’s always offering to do favors for you, secretly lowering your defenses around him

He’s not the type to take anything from you but he will take the time to appreciate them

If you let him clean your room he’ll likely pause to sniff some clothes

You notice how much he knows about you but you just think he’s very observant

You don’t realize it’s due to his obsession

He’s the type to take more precautions

If you deny his advances he’ll lock you up somewhere, probably his room

He’ll get chains and a cage if necessary

If you really act up, he’ll lock you in the basement

The way you cling to him in fear after spending all night in the dark is addictive

His wires are always nearby

If you try to run you’ll only get a few steps out the door before the wires wrap you up and pull you back

He does his best not to hurt you, but if you struggle too much, a few cuts are inevitable

Seras:

She’s a very clingy yandere

She’ll want you on every mission she goes on

When you have free time she’ll take you out into the area nearby for some quality time

If you ever push her away, she gets angry

She’ll pout like a child then force her way into whatever it is you’re doing

At the time, she’ll act like it’s just a coincidence and you might even believe her

You’re not getting rid of her so easily

She’s also a very sweet yandere

If she feels she’s hurt your feelings she’ll go out of her way to get you presents or treat you nicely

Until you say you forgive her, she won’t stop pampering you

No one else is allowed near you, not even Integra

She’ll make excuses and do whatever it takes to keep you to herself

She would never kidnap you or lock you up because she hates to see you sad, but her “loving” behavior will be a trap in itself

Don’t forget that despite how cute she is, she’s still a powerful monster that can and will do what it takes to keep you

If that means making you one of her familiars then so be it

Alucard:

He’s a terrifying yandere

He can control you and the people around you, holding you captive

You’re not a stupid person, you know how easily he could end your life, so you tend to let it all happen

On the plus side, he’s very passionate and often brings you gifts

He’s such a smooth talker you’ll end up forgetting the terrifying threats he’s made in the past

Anyone who flirts with you will mysteriously disappear

Anyone who hurts you will turn up days later torn to shreds in a ditch

He would never do anything to hurt you, but that doesn’t stop him from making threats

“I could tear you apart just like that man from last week. I would love to hear your moans of anguish, but I’d prefer moans of pleasure.”

When you act out he manhandles you

He’ll press you against a wall and bite your neck to remind you of your place

He enjoys when you become complicit, but he likes when you’re occasionally act out

It gives him an excuse to punish you, which he always loves

After that, you’ll think twice before disobeying him

Millenium:

Jan:

Bro this man is already wild

When he sets his sights on you it’s go time

He won’t let anyone else near you or get to know you, not even his brother

He’ll threaten people, meeting them after work for overstepping their boundaries

He’s very touchy, like he’s trying to leave his scent all over you

Out in public, he’ll hang on you, showing others that you’re already taken

He’ll growl at people that look at you too long when passing by

He flicks a lot of people off, all the time but more so when he’s around you

He’s paranoid and doesn’t like anyone else around you, even friends

Clearly he’s a fan of body modification so if he can convince you he’ll want to get some kind of matching piercing/tattoo

If you get it, he’ll pay special attention to it any time you cuddle, running his fingers over it countless times

He can be very intense so he might yell at you, but when he sees the hurt look in your eyes he backs off

In his own weird way, he loves you and doesn’t want to see you hurting

But if he has to hurt you to keep you then so be it

Luke:

He’s not as subtle as he thinks he is

He tries to play it cool, but if someone tries to touch you he will blatantly smack their hand away

Always has an excuse to be around you and if he doesn’t, he’ll find one

He’s not as touchy as Jan, but he does like to hold your hand

You’ll feel his pinky brush against you before his hand completely envelops yours

His grip tightens when he sees you looking at others

Your attention is something he so desperately craves

He gives you every moment of his time and he wants you to do the same

If you’re ever in danger he’s there before anyone else even knows

It helps that he was already watching you

Be ready to compensate him

At first he’s just worried about you, but then once he knows you’re alright, he’ll start making demands

“You owe me for coming to your rescue dear. Or would you like me to toss you back? Maybe then you’ll beg me in such a cute way.”

Rip:

She does not care what other people think

She’ll ruin relationships to get closer to you

She’ll endanger her own job if it keeps you two apart

Doing favors is how she gets closer to you

Anytime you need something she’s there and ready to go

She’d leave in the middle of a mission if she hears you need help

Anyone causing you problems will be slaughtered and presented to you as a gift

“See y/n, I took off their heads just for you.”

She can get very aggressive especially if she thinks you’re denying her advances

She won’t hurt you, beyond a little pinch or so, but she’ll make threats

She’s very sadistic and would be willing to lock you up

Having you as a pet is actually an attractive idea to her

She’ll take good care of you wherever you’re locked up, but she won’t allow many freedoms

“Look at my pretty pet. How lucky am I.”

The Captain:

He’s like a pet, always following you around

He’ll growl at people he doesn’t like around you

His arms are always around you, keeping you close

No one else is allowed to tend to you after missions

When he’s patching you up, he’ll run his hands along your arms and legs, lovingly caressing your limbs

He’ll use that as an excuse to stay around you

Popping in to “check on you” at all hours

You won’t even know he’s come in until he’s sitting on the edge of your bed

He’s the type the would sit there for a moment watching you breathe

If he can, he’ll try to get you to be his assistant

If he can convince the higher ups that he needs one, he’ll do whatever he can

Then he’ll be around you even when he works and will be able to protect you

No one on the battlefield will be able to even get close to you

He’ll ignore his own tasks to protect you

He’s extremely loyal and obsessive

The Doctor

Oh man it is terrifying when he has his eye on someone

He views it like just another experiment, wanting to test and push you

He’ll have you coming to him for “examinations” all the time

He’d likely put a bug on you

Suddenly he knows things you don’t remember telling him, but you can’t prove anything

People you like start disappearing, people you had no idea he knew about

If he suspects you’re starting to catch on and trying to get away, he’ll start drugging you

Then you’ll have to come to him if you’re going to get better

While he’s treating you, he’ll trick you mentally manipulating you to grow closer to him

You’re going to think so highly of him, forgetting all the red flags you’d seen before

He is absolutely a gas lighter but he’s damn good at it

Even if you have experience with this stuff you won’t pick up on it

It’s a game of cat and mouse with him

The Major

He is not subtle and does not care

Your needs or emotions don’t matter to him

If you don’t respond well to his advances he will make terrible threats

If that doesn’t work he’ll take it a step further, allowing the ghouls to get close to taking a bite out of you

Torture is the next step

He doesn’t care about your mood, he has to have you

“Y/N, why do you fight so hard when you know I’m just going to hurt you again?”

He’ll want to do most of it by hand, but if he needs to he will get the others involved

“Would you like me to make a spectacle out of you? I think the others would enjoy that.”

Behave and he won’t hurt you

If he gets mad enough he’ll remove your arms and legs

You’ll become his good little doll, always on display for him

Like a bird in a cage, you’re his favorite display item

[the-hellsing-organisation]

I love how completely unfazed Integra is whenever she's literally seconds from death. I know it's partially played for laughs or to show how badass she is, but I also like to think that she's really that confident in her servants ability to protect her - whether that be Walter, Seras, or Alucard. She's never *had* to worry because someone has always been around ready to throw down on her behalf.

That being said, I'm glad we actually got to see her take care of shit on her own - just to see that she's not just a figurehead, but someone that could actually kick some ass, too.

But man, I envy that blind, negligent confidence. The sheer "no fucks given" vibe as she stares down a bunch of Nazi vampires and says "come at me, bro" is just...*chefs kiss*

I never considered it being played for laugh - I always saw it as a proof of her confidence.

And damn yes. I'm glad too she can handle her own shit.

Integra is boss! XD

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 45-50

This is the “Soldier of Fortune” arc.  I thought there was a song by this title and there is!    Give it a listen.

This opens with a flashback to Pip Bernadotte’s childhood, where he finds out his whole family is a bunch of mercenaries.    His grandfather confirms it, and I should point out that Grandpa Bernadotte is the most mercenary-looking dude I’ve ever seen.   He’s wearing a friggin’ beret while he tells Pip about how his dad died in some war to raise money while Ma Bernadotte was pregnant with Pip.   Was Pip’s mother a merc too? 

I guess my point is that this whole scene feels really stupid to me.   Kid Pip grew up among mercenaries, but he’s literally the last person in town to find out about it.  How do the kids at school know?   Are the Bernadottes that well-known?   I always assumed mercenaries tried to keep a low profile.   Then again, they are entrepreneurs, so maybe the kids in school found ads about the Bernadottes in the phone book.  

Even so, was Pip’s family trying to keep this a secret from him?  Because Grandpa sure wasn’t.   Not with that beret he’s got on.   It’s like he’s been waiting Pip’s whole life to tell him, so why didn’t he mention it before?  You’d think he’d want to raise the boy to follow in his footsteps, the same as Pip’s dad.  Did Pip’s mom not want him to grow up to be a mercenary?  It just seems like she should have known that wouldn’t work out.  

Anyway, Grandpa Bernadotte waxes philosophical about killing people for money, which doesn’t seem like much of a justification.   Pip was very upset about the whole thing, and I don’t think Grandpa said anything to make him less upset, and then we flash forward to the present day, where Pip’s a mercenary.

I mean, what was the point of that flashback?  Pip was horrified to find out his family kills for profit, and then at some point he got over it and joined the family business.   Why didn’t the flashback show us that moment instead?  It seems more relevant.  

At any rate, I feel like the flashback is overlooking the true point of Pip’s character arc.  He starts out a soldier of fortune like his father and grandfather, but by joining up with Hellsing he’s now fighting for a much nobler cause, ridding the world of unspeakably evil monsters.  He still seems to look at it like just another job, but it’s still important.  His defense of the Hellsing mansion is a lot more heroic because he’s fighting against daunting odds with very little hope of surviving to see another sunrise, let alone his next paycheck.  

Back to the main story, when Millennium’s forces invaded London, they sent a company to the Hellsing HQ on the outskirts of the city.   Zorin Blitz was tasked with leading this group, but she was ordered to hold off on attacking until the Major gave the word.   The Major then fired rockets at the mansion, only for Seras Victoria to shoot the rockets down... and Zorin’s zeppelin.   Now, Zorin is trying to lead a ground attack on the mansion, except Pip has turned the entire yard into a minefield.   

Seras disapproves, but Pip doesn’t care.   In this sort of conflict, he and his men, the Wild Geese, are at a complete disadvantage.   Vampires, even the weaker, artificial vampires of Millennium, are faster, stronger, and harder to kill.  He hints at some sort of vampiric ability to read an opponent’s movements, too, which might have something to do with that whole “third eye” trick Seras and Alucard use.   Against all of that, landmines are a sensible precaution, since they’re powerful enough to kill a vampire in one shot and don’t rely on a human operator with killing intent. Seras can gripe, but if Hellsing had used mines back in volume 2, the Valentine Brothers never would have made it inside.  Pip clearly read up on that debacle, since it must have taken weeks for his men to bury all these mines.

The landmines do kill a lot of Zorin’s troops, and the Wild Geese lay down heavy fire from the mansion to keep up the pressure, but Zorin won’t give up so easily.   She uses he powers to create some sort of zany illusion, where everyone sees a giant Zorin Blitz attacking the mansion.

So what the hell is Zorin Blitz, exactly?   I thought she was a vampire, but reading this manga has revealed that Rip Van WInkle is a werewolf, which led me to suspect Zorin is a werewolf too.   But the manga is silent on Zorin being one or the other.  I check the Hellsing Wiki, but it contends that both women are vampires, and the term “Werewolf” just refers to the group of officers in Millennium.   This group includes literal werewolves like the Captain and Schrodinger, but not Blitz and Rip.   

Maybe it doesn’t matter that much, but I find it a little silly to call all four of those characters “Werewolves” and then only two of them are really werewolves.   Clearly, all four of them are a cut above the Major’s other troops, and none of them show any interest in drinking blood, or any other vampire-exclusive traits.   On the other hand, this whole battle takes place under a full moon, and none of them seem to be affected by it.    Unless the Major chose this particular night to launch his offensive because he wanted them all to be at full power.   Maybe Zorin couldn’t do this illusion thing otherwise.

Anyway, the Wild Geese see this giant woman slashing at them with a scythe, and they all panic.   Seras sees it too, but she somehow intuits that it can’t be real.   Then she sees Alucard, who reminds her of her third eye.   I’m not sure if this is a flashback or Alucard is using telepathy to coach her from the deck of the H.M.S. Eagle.  

Either way, Seras uses her third eye and not only sees through the illusion but lines up a shot on the illusion-caster.  But it only grazes Zorin.   It disrupts the illusion, but it doesn’t end the threat.

And even though the illusion is shattered, it still distracted the Wild Geese long enough for Millennium troops to enter the mansion.   Seras manages to shoot them down, but there’s more where that came from.

Because the Nazi bastards figured out a way past the mines.   They just threw a bunch of knives on the ground and played hopscotch to get across.   I guess this means they can only get in one at a time, but it’s still bad news for the good guys.

So Pip adjusts his tactics accordingly.  He and his men will regroup and hold up in a defensible location, while Seras roams the building to take the fight to the enemy.   I guess the idea is to divide Millennium’s focus.   They can attack the Geese or watch out for Seras, but not both.   For some reason, Seras calls Pip “sir”, like he’s in charge, and maybe that is appropriate in this situation, but I thought Seras was in charge of their training.  

Then one of the Geese pats her on the butt and Pip steals a kiss.   I’m not sure what the hell this is about.   I guess they were trying to lighten the mood before they go to face certain death, but if my life depended on some vampire girl killing all the bad guys before they can rip me to shreds, I probably wouldn’t sexually harass her, or do anything else to tick her off.   But that’s just me.

Pip seems resigned about their chances.  He’s confident in Seras’ ability, but there’s only one of her and like... 30?  Let’s say 30, thirty Nazi Vampires heading their way.  If even one of them gets past Seras, the Geese will all die horribly.   But they took this job and the risks that come with it, and besides, there’s nowhere for them to run anyway.    He seems to accept the situation with a mercenary sense of honor.   Like, a mercenary should expect to die in some unwinnable battle, and they shouldn’t complain about it, since it’s the nature of the business. 

Anyway, it doesn’t go well.   The nature of the comic doesn’t really make it clear how the Wild Geese are operating, but I get the impression that they’re doing sort of a fighting withdrawal concentrating their forces as they give ground.    But they suffer a lot of casualties in the process.

This leads to the Geese holing up in the big conference room where Integra met with the Royal Order of Protestant Knights before the Valentine Bros. attack.   One guy panics and wants to bug out, but Pip reminds him of what I said a minute ago.   They’ve got nowhere else to go, and they all got into this for the action, so they should stick to their principles, even in the face of death.

There’s this one guy from “B-block”, who I guess was covering a certain hallway, but B-Block got cut off before they could join the others in the Round Table room.    Zorin Blitz decides to have some fun with him, so she uses her weird powers to make him see himself back home, with his dead daughter.  

This seems especially cruel, because it’s not like Zorin needed this diversion to kill one dude.   She’s just really sadistic.

Meanwhile, some other Millennium guys are eating the Wild Geese they already killed, and one of them shows off his ability to tell blood types just by taste.   It’s this really sick moment, but at the same time it humanizes the characters, which is a weird thing to say when discussing Nazi vampires, but you know what I mean.

Then Seras blows the dude’s head off, which is extremely satisfying.

So Seras is holding up her end, and growing more resolute with each kill.   She’s really improved a lot since the last time she was in action.    Yeah, these Millennium vampires probably aren’t that much tougher than the vampires she killed back in the summer, but there are a lot more of them, and they’re trained soldiers on top of that, and she doesn’t have Alucard backing her up like she did before.

By now, all that’s left of the Wild Geese are in this barricaded room, and they’ve run low on silver bullets, which means even the few shots that don’t miss will have almost no effect.   Pip is determined to hold out, confident that Seras will save them, but...

She runs out of bullets before she runs out of enemies to kill.   When she arrives to save the day, she’s still has to go through Zorin Blitz.

But Zorin doesn’t see this as a problem, and she uses her freaky mind powers on Seras, forcing her to relive memories of her days at the orphanage.    Yeah, Seras was an orphan, remember?   Alucard asked Walter about her parents a while back, and Walter said they were both dead.  How did they die?

Well, Zorin Blitz is about to find out...

[dont-need-one-of-these-do-i]

Gay asses (affectionate)

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

For the fandom ask: Hellsing!

the character i least understand

Hellsing is the most opaque piece of media, I swear to fucking god. That being said, I’ve played in this sandbox long enough that I have pretty established ideas on what makes each character tick. But the characters are all mildly contradictory enough that it’s a pick and choose game re: interpretations.

Anyway the shortlist: Millennium as a whole because they’re the least fleshed out/have the least obvious motivations.

Alucard for having the most “bro... what the actual fuck are you doing?” moments. ::cough:: sitting on his ass while everyone died in episode two ::cough::

And Walter for the whole “betrays everyone and we’re never even given a reason why.” Like SURE I have headcanons and I think they make sense but damn Hirano really gave us zero info to work with.

interactions i enjoyed the most

Honestly? Anderson and Alucard’s fights. Surprise, surprise, I also really like Alucard and Integra’s dynamic. Especially though in Gonzo where she’s just so mean to him lmao.

the character who scares me the most

Everyone in this series comes fully equipped with HIGHLY questionable morals, no real consideration for loss of life, and a predisposition for shooting first and asking questions later. They’re all horrible.

I guess Integra’s most threatening because she’s at the top of the food chain and essentially answers to no one. Also has an insane vampire at her beck and call, who’s just looking for an excuse to go on a rampage.

the character who is mostly like me

I choose to believe no one.

hottest looks character

The art style’s weird and very visceral. But Integra definitely has the best aesthetic.

one thing i dislike about my fave character

I guess Alucard’s my fave? The most frustrating thing about him is that he’s fucking story breaking. Plot only happens when he conveniently isn’t present. I wish there were better reasons for his lack of interference?

Something Hellsing is generally bad at is continually playing to characters’ strengths. Like Alucard’s single strongest point is raw power. Give him something he can’t fight his way out of ffs. Or somehow create a complication where he isn’t allowed to fight, in a way that makes sense and isn’t just having him stuck on a boat for three episodes 😭 😂

It’s the same way with the 30 year timeskip. He had to... murder all his familiars? AKA the single thing he’s good at? That doesn’t demonstrate any development or growth or even hint at any sort of challenge. In fact, the narrative must’ve deemed it so boring that we don’t even see it happen on screen. This is the final obstacle he has to overcome and it so completely plays into his strengths that it’s presented as tedious at best.

one thing i like about my hated character

all the characters entertain me unless they fucking bore me (most of millennium...) but I guess the major is particularly vile! and his monologues are epic. He’s a rather... pathetic and jovial villain in a way that’s really fun. I also adore the war speech in its sheer self indulgence, and that slow creep from funny, to irritating, to legitimately chilling.

a quote or scene that haunts me

Already covered the war speech, the tail end of that is fuuucked up. But I think a close second is the final fight between Alucard and Anderson, and the fun Arthur flashback within it. That’s really the main moment where all of the story’s central themes about monstrosity, devotion, and self destructiveness all converge. And just the first textual acknowledgment that what all these characters really want is to die? For all this series’ campiness, that moment is very well done.

a death that left me indifferent

Honestly Hirano is pretty good with narrative weight? Like Penwood, despite being a completely random side character has a really dramatic death. Same with the Wild Geese soldier during the Zorin fight whose name I don’t even remember.

But I think the most meh death(s) are the mass casualties in episode two. The issue is that it was played for Awesomeness to make the Valentine brothers look cool. But then immediately after there’s this somber funeral and you’re meant to feel bad about it, but it doesn’t really hit its mark. The Rio sequence accomplishes the same thing much more successfully. Oh also Walter’s death was fucking bullshit. Heinkel should’ve gotten to kill him.

a character i wish died but didn’t

Honestly... pretty much the entire cast died. I’m fine with the body count lol

my ship that never sailed

I’m mostly okay with the state of canon limbo my ships live in? Hirano word of god confirmed Alucard/Integra several times. And Anderson/Alucard existing in that nebulous “beloved nemesis” space is fine by me, I couldn’t see the characters really going beyond what’s already in canon. Anderson/Integra could’ve been fun though!

Send me a fandom for my thoughts on it!

[echodrops]

Why Do Certain Ships Become So Popular? (And Why Should Writers Rethink When They Do?) - Part 2

<- Start back at part 1 or you’re going to be very confused!

This time my victim of choice example is Klance (and Allurance and Lotura too).

In a previous post, I established the premise that shippers focus their efforts and attention on ships between characters who exhibit the most compelling dynamism, the greatest amount of emotional energy--good feelings or bad--that directly relates to one or more of the characters’ growth arcs... or the two characters whose emotional interactions most significantly affect a story’s main plot.

This idea (that shippers are looking for strong, dynamic emotional interactions that are directly tied to plot) feeds directly into my second premise: part of the popularity of slash ships comes from the fact that, very often, the strongest and most plot-relevant emotional events don’t occur between male characters and female characters, but between male protagonists and other male characters--due to a combination of 1) a much smaller number of female characters, 2) a majority of writers for anime/manga and American shows being male; 3) under-developed or poorly written female characters, and 4) the tendency to situate males in the hero, sidekick, and villain positions, increasing the chance that their actions will have greater importance in the story’s main plot.

In short, writers can unintentionally cause fans to prefer non-canon slash ships by writing more dynamic, better developed, and more plot-relevant interactions between their male leads than between the main character and his designated female love interest.  

Now hang on. Before you get all up in arms, yes, I’m perfectly aware there are plenty of other reasons slash ships are popular, including:

A huge desire among LGBT+ fans for positive representation

The fact that m/m interactions appeal to straight women/others the same way w/w interactions are sexy to straight men/others

The tendency of shows, particularly from Japan, to deliberately queer-bait

The fact that many women vicariously ship male characters together because it allows them to imagine a relationship of “genuine equals,” particularly in areas where women feel they are still not treated equally to men

The tendency for “pair the spares” to result in m/m ships simply due to a lower number of available female characters

And so on

This isn’t written to negate any of those reasons or to imply that they aren’t major factors in the popularity of slash ships, not at all, but it has always, always struck me as reductive when I hear things like “Slash ships are only popular because girls think two dudes together is hot” (the fetish argument) or “Girls will ship any two good-looking male characters together regardless of canon. They just hate het ships” (the fetish argument with a side dish of misogyny).

In particular, this last one--an argument I’ve heard from a lot of male fandom members (but of course not all)--has always gotten under my skin, because it implies that girls who ship aren’t capable of critically analyzing the media we consume and identifying characters who have meaningful interactions and interesting potential. That we, unlike those viewers who adhere to the canon (typically heterosexual) relationships, are somehow reading these stories wrong, blind to “real” romance (namely the one between the male hero and his best girl/waifu), and/or misusing male characters with zero regard for their personalities--worse, this argument also implies that female fans deliberately hate or under-appreciate oh-so-perfectly written female characters whose romantic subplots are totally natural and not at all an unfortunate side effect of their position as the token chick on the team...

At its best, the statement: “Girls will ship any two good-looking male characters” is demeaning in its dismissal of a majority of slash shippers and their ability to read characters. At its worse, it’s this exact dismissal that continues to allow so many (primarily male) authors to write under-developed, unimportant, token female love interests: “It’s the girls [or the slash shippers] who are weird; there’s nothing wrong with the way we’re doing things.”

But guess what happens when well-written female characters whose actions are central to a story’s main plot are introduced and highlighted? Guess what happens when the emotional energy between a female lead and her male counterpart is the most compelling and dynamic in the series?

The (often canon) het ship suddenly--somehow--magically becomes well-liked by fans!

Zutara and Kataang vastly out-strip any slash Avatar pairings in popularity. Noragami’s Yatori commands a staggering following in the fandom. Is there anyone in their right mind who thinks Alucard/Integra wasn’t the best pairing to end Hellsing with? No one debates whether or not Ahiru and Fakir from Princess Tutu are true love. In Doctor Who, Rose and the Doctor reign so far supreme in the fandom that none of the other ships even need to exist though I actually prefer River. Terra and Aqua from Kingdom Hearts beat out every other Terra or Aqua ship by a mile (and this is in a series notorious for hating and under-shipping its female characters). Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-Kun has no problem juggling three very well-accepted het ships--even while having a scene in which two male characters sit down and draw a gay manga together. Ain’t nobody suggesting Mr. Bates and Anna from Downton Abbey should be with anyone else, right? And this is just in the handful of shows I personally have time to watch. Anyone who reads or watches a series with well-written female characters can play this exact same game!

The obvious conclusion? Female fans are perfectly willing to ship heterosexual pairings--if they’re well-written.

It’s the same story all over again: when the real emotional energy, the dynamic core, the most plot-relevant interactions occur between a male and female character, they too can become the fan-preferred couple. (Shocking!)

Yes, yes, I hear you saying “B-But wait, sometimes the m/m ship is more popular even though the het love interest is well-written!” or “Sometimes girls ship guy characters who have never even met!” or “So what you’re saying is female fans wouldn’t ship slash if there were better het options available?”

1) Don’t get me wrong--there are certainly always exceptions. I’m pointing out a trend, not a rule. Sometimes a fandom has a separate, specific reason for elevating a non-canon slash ship above a well-written canon het ship. (Someone who is actually in the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom might be able to explain why Ed/Roy is more popular than Roy/Riza, probably?) And in situations where a slash ship and a het ship in a series both have equally strong emotional energy, my bet is that the slash ship will always come out on top because it gets the added benefit of people liking LGBT+ rep and straight girls (and anyone else) who just think m/m is hot.

2) Crack ships definitely do exist. But usually when a crack ship actually manages to become popular, it’s because fans have recognized the potential for a strong emotional energy between two characters. If the two characters could reasonably have strong tension because of similarities, differences, or other elements of their characters, then crack ships are still following the trend of aligning with emotional energy, even if that energy is only anticipated at the moment.

3) I definitely don’t mean to suggest that slash ships are shoddy seconds to fans who would “naturally” prefer het ships if good het ships were available. What I’m suggesting is only that it’s no surprise slash ships are so extremely and consistently popular across so many fandoms, because in terms of plot relevance, depth of writing, and meaningful interactions with each other, male characters so rarely have any real competition. A desire for LGBT+ representation and people living out power or equality fantasies through slash are certainly motivating factors and good and worthy reasons to write slash. But one unfortunate contributor to the popularity of slash ships is that male characters continue to occupy a place of privilege in modern narratives. Our heroes remain overwhelmingly male. Our sidekick/lancer/buddy characters remain overwhelmingly male. Our villain characters remain overwhelmingly male. That is to say: male characters continue to dominate all the most “plot relevant” roles in our narratives, and so long as male leads continue to be placed in roles where their most compelling emotional interactions and greatest sources of character growth are other male characters, slash ships will continue to dominate fandoms’ online presences.

(Hilarious: the dude bros who complain about the number of slash ships in their favorite series are often the very same ones supporting and becoming the writers whose shallow portrayals of female characters further bolster the popularity of said slash ships in the first place...)

Okay, I’ve made you wait long enough.

What does all of this have to do with Voltron?

Well, you’ve probably figured that part out already, actually.

If we consider the “emotional energy” and tension among Voltron’s main characters, there’s absolutely no question who is at the core, where the most plot relevant and meaningful emotional interactions have occurred, where the “heart” of the story is, in essence...

Hint: It’s Keith.

(Just a heads up: I’m going to use Klance as the example because it’s the most popular Voltron pairing according to the numbers, but any Sheith fan worth their salt could obviously very, very easily apply these ideas one-for-one to that ship, because clearly Shiro’s interactions with Keith are some of the most emotionally tense and compelling in the entire Voltron series--they are a consistent core of feeling energy for the show which naturally leads many people to support this ship. A large part of the reason that this post is tagged Sheith is because I am absolutely inviting Sheith shippers to use the theory and lens in this essay to analyze Sheith--using this idea to analyze Sheith will reveal a lot of intense emotional energy to discuss and validate that ship. I’m very tempted to put this paragraph in all caps or something so the Sheith shippers will actually read it and stop badgering me...)

Keith (and his relation with other characters) is the core of Voltron’s main plot, both in that he is positioned as the leader/the hero/the protagonist, and because, obviously, almost all of the series’ emotional high points (with the exception of “Crystal Venom” and Pidge’s search for Matt) somehow feature him. 

Keith isn’t just central in the main plot though; he’s also central in the individual arcs of two other characters: Lance and Shiro. He’s a motivating and driving factor in both of these characters’ stories and change throughout the series, affecting their actions, attitudes, and self-worth, and so it should come as absolutely no surprise that Sheith and Klance are the series’ most popular ships.

But since Klance is the most popular pairing, the person I really want to talk about is Lance.

You can say a lot of things about Lance and the raging debates that occurred over whether or not Lance is a straight loverboy trope or not, but I don’t think any viewer of Voltron would deny that, if we consider the main cast members (Team Voltron plus Lotor), the core of Lance’s emotional energy and tension is Keith. His interactions with Keith--not even in a romantic sense, simply in a storytelling sense--are more important and dynamic than his on-screen interactions with any other main character.

From his laser focus on Keith at Garrison that caused him to invent a rivalry (this word is basically just a synonym for “emotional energy” at this point):

To comedic banter:

To the infamous bonding moment:

To a fledgling “right hand man” partnership:

To Lance’s insecurities:

The story of Voltron itself continuously reiterates that Lance’s interactions with Keith are more dynamic, more intense (even if we’re talking about “Rawr, I hate you, we’re rivals!” emotions instead of lovey-dovey stuff), and more plot relevant than Lance’s interactions with other characters in the series. Lance’s emotional arc is irrevocably centered on Keith until very, very late in the series.

More importantly: Lance’s motivation and personal plot line as a whole are centered on Keith. At it’s most basic, Lance’s character arc seems like it was supposed to center on Lance’s sense of self-worth--despite acting confident, Lance was actually insecure about his ability to help save the universe. Theoretically, his narrative should have focused on him becoming confident about his place on the team and his value as both a friend and fellow paladin to the other main characters. His arc should have been (and I guess theoretically still is? It’s just not... ever given much attention?) about him overcoming his insecurity by learning to recognize his own unique talents and discovering the things that only he can do to help Team Voltron succeed. (Hell, the entire Allurance thing could have been framed as “She’s completely out of my league” ---> “Whoa, originally I was putting Allura on a pedestal but actually she’s as much a member of this team as me--we’re in this together, side-by-side.”)

Whether or not the semi-incoherent narrative of Voltron actually delivered on this promise is iffy, but the set up in season 1-3ish is all there and all Keith:

At Garrison, Lance viewed Keith as a road block in his quest to becoming a fighter class student. Keith’s achievements and talent became a measuring stick for Lance’s own capabilities. He imagined a rivalry to make himself feel better/less insecure. His drive not to lose out to Keith is what dragged Hunk and Pidge along to Shiro’s rescue and ultimately led to the discovery of the Blue Lion. Lance comparing himself unfavorably to Keith as a paladin and pilot contributed to (mostly) one-sided animosity throughout the early seasons that gave way to a scene of Lance attempting to step down from the team because he didn’t see himself worthy of the position in comparison to Keith:

The logical conclusion that I think most fans would draw from these many scenes is that, as part of Lance’s overall character growth across the whole series, he needed to have a moment in which he recognized that he isn’t--and has never been--inferior to Keith.

Ultimately, the first five seasons continually reiterate the idea that, in terms of interactions, energy, and dynamic character growth, the most important main character in Lance’s story (other than Lance) is Keith.

Keith’s interactions with Lance are directly and immediately tied to Lance’s individual character arc/growth, and Keith is definitely the focus of Lance’s most meaningful emotional tension throughout seasons 1-5 at least.

Which means it shouldn’t come as any surprise that Klance is the most popular Lance ship, particularly when you set it side-by-side with the (increasingly canon) Allurance.

I just want to make this abundantly clear before I begin: I have absolutely nothing against Allurance shippers and, until it was done so poorly in season 5-6 (and potentially 7, I still haven’t even finished that one), I actually was okay with the possibility of Allurance being endgame because I thought there was potential for it to be done well. After what we’ve been given, I actually feel the Allurance shippers have been horribly shortchanged by the show’s real writing, and that I can’t personally support the ship the way it’s being written, but that’s not the fault of the characters themselves or anything inherently “wrong” with the ship. So please don’t take the rest of what I say here as ship hate--this is just observations from a literary analysis standpoint.

What has prevented Lance and Allura from gaining significant traction with the fans despite the fact that it’s edging close to canon territory if it isn’t canon already?

Well, one problem might be that Lance’s emotional energy has no bearing on Allura’s individual character development--and Allura’s emotional peaks have no bearing on Lance’s personal arc either (at least as far as it was established in early seasons and then left essentially unresolved).

Allura’s arc has, throughout the course of the show, centered on her ability to defeat her family’s foes, her grief for her lost people and planet, and her desire to follow in her father’s footsteps as a leader and in the Altean traditions as well. None of this has much of anything to do with Lance. Her growth as a character occurs--with the exception of the single shining scene on Naxela--completely independently of Lance. She lets her father’s memory go on her own in “Crystal Venom.” She faces Zarkon head-to-head by herself after rescuing Shiro. It’s Shiro who stops her from over-working herself to aid the coalition, not Lance. It’s Keith’s whose Galra blood forces her to re-examine and overcome some of her universal hatred for the Galra. It’s Lotor who helps her reach Oriande, and her own ingenuity that allows her to tame the White Lion and learn the secrets of Altean alchemy.

With the exception of the scene on Naxela where it was specifically Lance’s speech that motivated Allura to save the day, virtually all of her most charged emotions occurred elsewhere and with other characters, and there’s nothing in her personal goals--to be a strong leader, to revive her culture, to save the universe--that is intrinsically tied with Lance. He can encourage and aid her in those pursuits, but so can Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Hunk, and Coran. The role of fellow paladin and supporting ally isn’t unique to Lance. His interactions with her don’t fill a niche that drives her personal plot lines outside of the romance subplot.

And the same thing is true in reverse.

We get this nice scene of Allura encouraging Lance and helping him work on his insecurity... And then it is promptly never mentioned again. (Where did the sword go, guys? Where???) Lance gives up Blue to Allura and she’s almost immediately gifted at piloting the Blue Lion, while Lance is shown struggling with Red (once more in Keith’s shadow) and still hadn’t, as of the end of season 6, seemed to have mastered it to the same extent as Keith. It’s Keith, Laika (an alien dog--not Allura guys, an alien dog) and the SPACE MICE that Lance expresses his insecurities to, and it’s Coran who is there for Lance’s touching scene expressing his longing to return to Earth. Lance’s personal arc about growing into the paladin role and becoming a selfless person who puts the team before his own desire for glory once again occurs independently of Allura, with little to no interaction, and even fewer emotional high points between them, in the entire first half of the show.

For both of these characters, their “real emotional energy”--their tension both positive and negative--occurs with other characters. The “believability” and energy of this ship is diminished by the fact that it simply isn’t the most well-written of character pairs in the series. The romance subplot isn’t organically tied to either of their personal plot lines, and the depth of their one-on-one interactions pales in comparison to their, particularly Lance’s, interactions with other characters.

But huh... would you look at that... When a potential romantic interest came along whose interactions with Allura were both directly tied to her personal arc, her central character motivations, and her emotional high points...

Isn’t it amazing how well it was received by the fandom--despite the fact that no one was really sure whether Lotor was evil or not? Now of course, I’m not going to ignore the fact that Lotura was probably helped along by leaving Keith, Lance, and Shiro free to ship elsewhere, but I don’t think the actual chemistry in the series’ writing itself should be ignored.

There was significantly, significantly more tension and nuance to Allura and Lotor’s interactions that any of Allura’s interactions with any of the other main cast, and their interactions operated not just in a romantic capacity, but also as a vehicle for Allura’s personal character growth:

The push and pull of these two characters and their scenes together sparked change in both of them, which augmented and increased the quality of their romantic arc while also furthering both of their own individual goals as characters.

The story painted them as equals with mutual interests, a shared interest in Altean culture, both victims (at least initially) of their parents’ war, both distrusting but ultimately lonely people who were longing for connection to, in Allura’s case, what had been lost, and in Lotor’s case, what he theoretically had never been able to have (except the writers did him dirty so jk).

I just don’t think there are many people who would argue that Allurance--or Allura’s interactions with any other male character--have been written with near as much depth, engagement, and integration with her motivations as Lotor and Allura’s were. Their plot literally got more screen time one-on-one in a single seven episode season than Allura and Lance did in the 43+ other episodes...

And for the the short time that it lasted, this pairing was embraced by many fans. I might be biased because I immediately went out and followed every Lotura blog I could find, but to me it seems like it was well-liked and generally well-regarded among shippers until the colony reveal (and by many still after). I was very excited by the writing of this ship and definitely wanted something meaningful to come out of it. Part of the fandom’s immense outrage at Lotor’s reveal was, I think, linked to the fact that this ship had been so convincingly written into the series before it.

This, to me, is a perfect example of a situation in which the emotional exchange between two characters exceeds the strength and depth of their interactions with others, leading to immediate adoption and approval as a ship by the fandom. Where the real energy is, there are the shippers.

PHEW! Let me take a deep breath and come up for air. There’s a lot going on here, but boiling it down to the basic point I’m trying to make, and which I’ll address in a lot more depth in the third and final part of this: the way that a story is written profoundly affects what ships will or will not become popular with fans. Shipping isn’t an unpredictable beast that grows completely independently of its source material. The ways writers craft interactions between their characters--and the places where they invest the most and infuse the most life--are powerful tools that impact how fans view and come to love seeing characters both separately and in romantic relationships.

To that end, while there are numerous reasons slash ships are popular and continue to grow in popularity, one reason that should be considered seriously by all creative writers--fanfiction authors or aspiring original novelists--is the notion that shipping often aligns with the core of a story’s or character’s emotional energy, the pairs with the highest tension, the electric pulse of the story’s most meaningful moments. Non-canon ships of any sexuality swell to mega-popularity when fans perceive more depth and significance in the interactions of characters outside the canon pair, when the emotional work of the story is happening somewhere outside the intentional romantic plot line. Sometimes this is fine. But more often, this is a bad sign for creators--a sign that you’ve fumbled in the writing of your main romantic leads.

As writers, questions we rarely ask ourselves but often should are: “Where is the core of the tension in my story? Whose interactions are deepest and most central to the development of my main character?”

In other words: Where is the real emotional energy in my story?

In part 3 I’m going to provide one more excellent case-in-point, and then close out with a discussion of some take-aways for writers from all this that might help strengthen your romantic subplots, whatever your genre or whoever your characters.

Go on to Part 3 ->

[grenade-maid]

@yagirlyacchan it is unfortunately all too true 😔

And like! It goes even beyond just her appearance! Like:

Just besties being each other's primary source of comfort companionship trust and affection for three decades 🥰

And my personal favorite:

Can you say Big Top Energy?

And yet despite all that, this is what most fanart looks like:

Mascing Alucard way way up and making Integra hyper soft and feminine

Which is like okay okay even if you want to say that these two are in love, whatever, totally, love is love you know? But like you are straight up out of your mind if you think Integra is going to be the dainty feminine flower gently wilting into Alucard’s masculine cisgender heterosexual arms to serve and nurture and be protected by her dear sweet cool brooding hubby.

Like bro the explicit dynamic that they have even named for themselves in text is master and servant, with Integra being the master. Alucard plays tricks and teases her, but fundamentally he is a bratty little servant lmao not like the cold cool boyfriend trying to show who’s really in charge. In the final scene when Alucard finally comes back from the dead after thirty years the first thing she does is fucking SHOOT HIM for being too grabby, and only afterwards offers him a tiny little drop of blood as a welcome back gift to ease his thirst. Which 1) if we interpret that as romantic we have to contend with the fact that she also offered her blood in the same way to Seras first, thirty years ago, so like where’s the love for their relationship, and 2) re-establishes that no matter how old she gets no matter how powerful Alucard is she is very much the one in charge thank you very much, and if he wants to kiss her he’ll have to kiss her boots first.

Not to mention like. Alucard literally has a girl form.

There is nothing cisgender or heterosexual about either of these people lmao even if you interpret them as loving each other romantically or sexually that is thoroughly not a straight relationship.

In conclusion this incredible trashy series is thoroughly wasted on the straights and every single day I lament that fact

Bro how is there only one Hellsing Yuri doujin when Integra canonically goes by 'Sir' and looks like THIS

Like I'm sorry but you've got diseases and afflictions if you think women wouldn't be lining up for miles for her like holy shit

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 14-19

This is the “Elevator Action” arc, presumably named after the 1983 video game of the same name.   I’m pretty sure a lot of Hellsing arcs are named for video games, which makes me wonder about the ones that aren’t.   Like, is “Master of Monster” a video game that I just haven’t heard of?  

The title fits, in the sense that there’s an elevator in the story, but we don’t spend much time there.   Anyway, this thing starts off with Alucard checking into a ritzy hotel in Rio de Janiero, and his only luggage is two big-ass coffins covered in sheets.  What happens next might surprise you...

For some reason, the guy at the front desk objects to Al’s luggage, not because they’re coffins, but because they’re just really big?   Like, he’s not even remotely suspicious, even though the sheets sort of hint that they’re trying to smuggle something in.   No, this guy just thinks it’s too big.    So Alucard uses vampire hypnotic powers or whatever to Jedi Mind Trick him.   Pip Bernadotte thinks it’s a “sex beam”, and yeah, this dude sure looks like he got hit with a sex beam.  

Seras is part of this mission, but she can’t travel over running water, so she had to make the transatlantic flight in her coffin.    Apparently they tricked her into this, which I don’t understand, but okay.  

And Al makes a big production over the debut of his own coffin, because he’s a diva like that.  

During the trip, Seras fell asleep, and she dreams of a visitation by the guy who played Baron Harkonnen in the Dune movie.   I think?   This is all a big gag revolving around her gun being named after a guy in Dune.    Then Alucard wakes her up because there’s helicopters and soldiers surrounding their hotel, and he thinks it’s awesome.

A bunch of this arc is panels and panels of commando goons taking up positions and getting ready.    A Brazilian newscaster is there covering the story, which he says is a hostage situation.    The authorities seem to think Alucard and Seras massacred a bunch of people in the hotel, and have hostages on the top floor.    It’s weird that they would even have a photo of Seras for this, since no one saw her.   As for Alucard, they identify him as “J.H. Brenner”, which I believe was an alias Dracula used in the Bram Stoker novel.   He shoulda spelled it backwards.   “Yes, I have a reservation for R. E. Nnerbhj”.   

Also, these photos are just panels from the Valentine Bros. arc.    That’s Seras killing ghouls in her berzerker rage, and that’s Alucard chillaxing while he waits for Luke Valentine to find him.   How would a Brazilian TV station have these?   I’m starting to think this comic about gun-toting vampires might not be on the level.

So now all the main cast can see this situation unfold on international television.   Pip watches from his crappy one-star hotel room, Integra, Walter, and the Convention of Twelve watch from Jolly Old England, and Millennium is watching from... well, somewhere.   

They clearly orchestrated this whole situation, which means they not only knew about Alucard’s mission, but they had a whole thing prepared for him.   As far as they’re concerned, this is just a test to see if Alucard will kill humans as readily as he hunts monsters.

What follows is, well, a bloodbath.   The police try to enter Alucard’s hotel room, only to find his coffin, engraved with “The BIrd of Hermes is my name, Eating my wings to make me tame.” While they try to suss out that riddle, Alucard shows up and demands they stay away from his coffin, so they shoot at him for like three pages in a row.    But bullets don’t work on Alucard, so he just grows back a new everything and starts slaughtering these guys.

The last guy in the room is so horrified that he just gives up and shoots himself, which actually shocks, then enrages Alucard.   

Then he tells Seras to come out of a cupboard he hid her in, and he gets all upset when she objects to his killing humans.    “Look, this is war,” he tells her, but that look he gives her at the end kind of suggests that he knows she has a point.    Those cops were never any match for him.    The two of them could have easily escaped this penthouse without a scratch.    Alucard’s ethics may excuse this kind of overkill in the line of duty, but he knows it’s not right. 

This scene also marks the first (only?) time Seras defies him.   There’s a part in the Gonzoverse series where Alucard is about to execute a human reporter who Knows Too Much, so she pulls a gun on him, but then Integra shows up and is like “No, it’s cool, you can kill this lady, idgaf.”  I guess that whole moment mirrors this one pretty well now that I write it out.    Seras doesn’t like how this is playing out.   She joined Hellsing to fight vampires, not human police officers, but she still follows Alucard’s lead in the end.   So is he influencing her, or is she influencing him?   It’s kind of hard to tell.

And maybe Seras really did make an impression on Al, because the next thing he does is call Integra to report in and confirm his orders.     She told him “Search and Destroy” before he left, but that was before all these human dupes shows up at his doorstep.     He’s willing and able to kill them without regret, but he wants to know if Integra is cool with it, since she’s the one calling the shots.    But Integra holds firm and insists that nothing has changed.    She looks resolute here, but leading up to this moment she was pretty anxious about what Alucard was going to do with all these humans.   

So why is Walter so giddy about this?  Is he just proud to see his commander displaying this ruthless leadership style?   Or is it something more?    After she hangs up, she asks Walter if she made the right call, but he declines to give an opinion, since he’s just the butler.  

I’m not sure Seras was privy to any of this, since she was preparing the coffins for transport while Al was on the phone.    He orders her to take the coffins to the roof and steal a helicopter to escape.   While she does this...

Alucard leaves the suite and heads down to the front door of the hotel.   There’s more cops in the hallway waiting for him, but he just mows them down the same way he did the ones in his suite.

Back to Millennium, their leader, known only as “The Major”, is now satisfied with the knowledge that Alucard can and will kill humans that get in the way of his mission.   But he sees no reason to prolong this battle, so he orders his man in the field, Tubalcain Alhambra, to put this to an end.  

Oh, and here’s the elevator.    The cops scramble inside and try to close the doors to escape Alucard, but he sex beams one of them to hit the “door open” button, which gives him just enough time to get inside.   He kills them all, then emerges on the ground floor and kills the cops there to make his way to the entrance.    Along the way, he tosses some of their bodies out the windows, and they land on nearby flagpoles, which impale their corpses like pikes.     Because he’s Vlad the Impaler, get it?  

And finally Tubalcain Alhambra reveals himself.   He calls himself “The Dandyman”, and he has card powers.   Is he anything like D’arby the Elder from JoJo?   Well, he’s got a vest, so maybe.   He explains that he manipulated the authorities into sending those cops into the hotel.   All he had to do was promise them eternal life.   They didn’t hurt Alucard, but they did get him to waste a bunch of his ammunition.   Maybe all of it, since I’m pretty sure Al never shoots Dandyman during this fight.    See?   Seras had the right idea after all.

Never mind, he does shoot him.   Also these two hit a lot of innocent bystanders while they fight.    It’s worth noting that Dandyman seems to have a lot of the same abilities Alucard expected from Luke Valentine during their battle.    Luke thought he was hot shit, but he couldn’t regenerate or transform himself.    But it looks like Tubalcain can shrug off gunfire and turn his whole body into playing cards.   

While all of this vampire fightin’ is a-goin’ on, Pip Bernadotte infiltrates the bad guys’ command post, shoots all of the crooked authorities in league with Dandyman, and then blows the whole thing up for good measure.

Oh, and here’s the third (and final?) Cross-Fire backup.    Bishop Maxwell gets injured during a pagan cult tries to assassinate the Pope, so he sends Heinkel Wolfe and Yumiko Takagi to go to Wales and slaughter their entire congregation.   And they do.   These Cross-Fire stories just don’t hold up.    It’s two overzealous religious fanatics killing other fanatics, except they always have the firepower and the element of surprise, so there’s no suspense or tension to any of it.  

Back to the Dandyman fight, well... wait, we gotta go through a flashback, first.

The last installment opens with young Integra learning about vampires from her father, Arthur Hellsing.    He quizzes her about why vampires are so feared, and the answer is that vampires are powerful, and they’re also vicious and aware of their own power.    So in close-quarters they’ll tear a human to pieces.    And another monster wouldn’t?   I’m not sure I understand his point.  

Back to the fight, Dandyman seems to have Alucard in a bit of trouble, because his cards are razor sharp and once they cut Al, he can’t recover from the wounds so easily.    Fortunately, Seras shows up to provide a helpful diversion.    And by “diversion”, I mean, shooting enormous shells at Dandyman.

And that gives Alucard a chance to get the drop on him.   He breaks Dandy’s leg, splits his left arm in half, longways, and then drinks his blood.   Also, Millennium does that self-destruct thing on Dandyman, so he goes up in flames.    This is about as defeated as a bad guy can get.  

And then Pip shows up in a helicopter, I guess the same one Seras was ordered to steal, since they have the coffins ready to go.   But Alucard is in no hurry to withdraw, because he’s just so gosh darn excited to be fighting this Millennium group.  They’re bloodthirsty, violent maniacs, just like him, so it’s perfect.  Or is it...

[a-slut-for-smut]

***YEARS LATER***

@helena-thessaloniki Thanks for the tag boo! Sorry these kind of tag games i like to put a little more effort into, hence the delay

Rules: answer the questions and tag nine people you want to get to know better/catch up with.

Three ships:

- Alucard/Integra (Hellsing/Hellsing Ultimate): If youre into ships with major BDSM vibes/power dynamics, then Alutegra is the ship for you.  While the show has its pacing issues and a tad gory for my tastes, i could NOT ignore the relationship between Alucard and his master, Integra.  To say they are bonded by the very fibers of their being, their very souls, is to say the least. They have a deep respect for each other despite being mortal enemies- her ancestor enslaved him to her bloodline so he has every right to hate her but essentially worships her. And he encapsulates everything she seeks to destroy (vampires) but she cannot be without him. Age gap & height difference kink applies here in spades, man this ship may have started it all!

- Levi/Mikasa (Attack on Titan): Uhhh....what @helena-thessaloniki said! Also they just tickle the shit out of my ovaries :D

- Gojo/Utahime (Jujiutsu Kaisen): Age gap & height difference kink galore. I love their dynamic, i swear its Gojo's kink to tease the hell out of Utahime to her irritation, but theres no denying there is mutual respect between them. Also love the fact that shes's older, which adds a bit of mommy kink into the mix ;)

Last song: “Cloudbusting” - by the legendary Kate Bush (im on an 80s ballads kick and this song just SLAPS)

Last movie: Annihilation - if you have a cosmic/existential horror kink like me i HIGHLY recommend it. Theres a horrifying, unsettling beauty to this film, littered with symbolism of humanity's predilection for self-destruction and response to pain/trauma, also its hauntingly eerie visuals & score. I was not the same person after watching this film.

Currently watching: Norsemen on Netflix. Top tier comedy, a parody on the show Vikings. Super meta humor, i just love the Nordic sense of humor which i can only describe as a mashup of British/New Zealand comedy. Could not stop laughing, 10/10 would recommend

Currently reading: True Grit - by Charles Portis. Btw, if youre curious what a strong female character is, look no further than 14 year-old Mattie Ross in this story. Her spirit and tenaciousness is INSPIRING to say the least. Coen Bros movie was an exceptional adaptation, give it a watch. My all-time favorite line of hers: "Keep your seat, trash."

Currently craving: dat smut (surprise surprise) :D

Tagging: @alienheartattack @originalladyscythe @ackermanshoe @achyyths @fefipranon @mikasasaltmann18 @mylienated @kuruus @moonlightswishes @carmenlee

get to know!

Rules: answer the questions and tag nine people you want to get to know better/catch up with.

Tagged by @infinitelystrangemachinex 😊🖤

Three ships: - Draco/Hermione (Harry Potter): enemies to lover trope, Pride and Prejudice retelling, flawed and dimensional characters, only/reluctantly intellectually compatible with each other, and of course redemption arc!Draco

- Levi/Mikasa (Attack on Titan): the parallels, ridiculous chemistry, angst and ability to relate, the only two who could truly challenge, appreciate and understand each other

- Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye (FMAB): the most delightfully understated ‘relationship’ ever, I swear, I mean, Elizabeth?? the phone call scene when he knows something is wrong immediately?? the fight scenes protecting each other?? the history?? agh my heart 

Last song: “God is She” - In this Moment

Last movie: Hmmm. I think Captain Marvel when I was visiting my parents last month, it was the only MCU movie they hadn’t seen

Currently watching: Vinland Saga, slowly but surely

Currently reading: The Red Queen, I’m 115 pages in and I’m very underwhelmed after so many people recommended this, please someone tell me whether or not to continue aha 

Currently craving: iced coffee, always (it’s currently 9 pm heh) 

Nine people: @a-slut-for-smut @quinnxra @blacklunamarie @crinklyhatesyou @linaxlight @joanofsn4rk @idealistic-imaginings @andromedafrigga43 @drivingthescrew

[cocolacola]

i think that the og show was best when it spun off of what the source material was doing, or at least integrated it into the series in a unique way. episodes like Master of Monster and Red Rose Vertigo stand out to me for things like that. Duel is another favorite of mine specifically to watch in dub (Jan's voice actor carries). i also love the fact that the show took the time to flesh out the existence of an entire underground network of vampires who work in this Valentine Bros night club, and that concept alone is just so fun and interesting im sad it's technically no longer canon. other highlights include laura somehow manipulating an entire estate into believing she's integra's sister & an anderson/alucard fighting on a train.

your thoughts on Ultimate Alucard are 100% accurate--hirano legit had no clue what to do with him so he got banished to a boat while everyone got their asses handed to them. just makes his return scene even more rewarding to me. ALSO i somehow forgot the show had a Banger theme song and soundtrack that i think i like more than ultimate's, but i'll take both :D

also regarding WoW youre making a good choice, Wrath was my first xpac and i dont think many ppl would disagree with it being the best :) best of luck on your lich king ventures!

90s series or Ultimate?

oooo decisions decisions....

im a sucker for anything with an early 2000s aesthetic, so vibe-wise id say the og tv show. it also has some really good side character we dont see in the original (Helena plz come back). Ultimate is significantly better in basically every other way though. im a seras fan so im biased to say whichever iteration does her character arc better... would it be a cop-out to say the manga is my fav? ive re-read it multiple times and i feel like it's the truest representation of the series.

side note for asker: so cool to see other people who like hellsing AND warcraft!! my two big interests rn.. im resubbing for DF, solidarity 🤝

tldr id choose ultimate + i mostly just like the manga :)