#instincts want to bond and experience says it's going to kill me if i do

[igotanidea]

Nutcracker: Dick Grayson x reader

christmas bingo day 5: nutcracker

***

“You know when you said nutcracker this is definitely not what I was expecting….” Y/N muttered looking at Dick, who, grinning like a madman was standing in the middle of the Wayne manor kitchen, dressed in an apron and holding – well, the literal nutcracker.  As in – a kitchen tool.

“Should have known better.” He smiled even wider, causing Y/N to start worrying about his mental health.

“Yeah, I guess I should have known better.” She muttered rubbing her forehead.

“Cas is the fan of ballet, me – not so much” Dick shrugged “besides, if I wanted to spend a few hours with you in a dark room then-“

“Shut up!” she rushed towards him putting a hand on his mouth to stop his babbling “there are kids in this house!”

“Tim is hardly a kid, and Damian-“

“Damian catches up way too fast for a boy his age. And I’m pretty sure you want to avoid the awkward older brother talk with him?”

“Oh sunshine, believe me I’m more than ready for an awkward older brother conversation.” He grabbed her waist and pecked her cheek and before she realised what was happening, she had another white apron tied around her waist.

“Dare I ask-?” she sighed, bracing herself for any crazy idea that might be forming in her boyfriend’s mind

“walnuts. gingerbread.”

“gingerbread?” she repeated, frowning in confusion before it finally hit her “oh no! no! damn it! No way in hell!” instinctively she moved towards the kitchen door, before Dick grabbed her from behind and prevented from escaping his arms.

“It’s a couple bonding exercise!”

“It’s a couple killing practise! Remember what happened last year?! “

“It’s not like I burnt those cookies on purpose! You were extremely distracting with that pout on your face.”

“Can’t remember signing up for a cooking experience with Dick Grayson!!”

“You know that’s actually a nice idea. Maybe I should start my own TV show…”

““you wouldn’t even be able to run a youtube channel-“

“maybe I could juggle oranges while doing a somersault?”

“Oh my god…”

“come on, I am an acrobat, after all.”

“Not the word I would use in this context-“ she rolled her eyes “I’m not baking with you! When Alfred finds out I let you in the kitchen despite my better judgement I’ll -“

“I’ll protect you from Alfred’s wrath” Dick laughed not letting her go. “you’re safe with me baby.”

“He will ban us from the kitchen forever! It’s the only person left in this household that believes I’m sane despite going out with you!”

“Which you are obviously not.” Dick laughed spinning her in his arms and looking at her with the puppy eyes. The expression he worked to perfection during the years. “come on, please… pleeeeaaaassssseeeeeee…….”

“Stop it Grayson! I’m serious… stop it” please stop it, before I give in to your five-year-old antics.     

“Pretty please. Come on, Y/N…. Just say yes.. .It’s gonna be fun I promise…”

 “It’s really not too late to buy the ballet tickets Dick…” she muttered, feeling her resistance breaking despite knowing well enough how the baking experience with Dick Grayson will end.

“That’s for another occasion.”

***

Two hours later, as predicted, kitchen looked like batterfield. Nut shells splattered everywhere, including Y/N’s hair, flour on her clothes that happened to not be covered by the apron and a sticky smudge of spice on her forehead made her similar to a gingerbread man (woman). While she was huffing and puffing making the dough, shaping cookies and decorating them, Dick just sit on the counter watching her with a loving eyes, making a mess and not helping at all. He didn’t even bother to open the over for her, at least not until she almost burned herself trying to balance the quite heavy baking tray in one hand. It was a miracle she survived this.

“couple bonding exercise, my ass.” She hissed, brushing her hair away with a wrist, fairly annoyed that she had to do  all the work.

“I definitely feel bound to you.” He smiled at her, jumping off the counter.

“you didn’t even move a finger-“ before she could finish he cut off her off with the kiss.

“can’t you be original, once?” she scoffed pulling back “cutting off with a kiss is just so predictable, man-like gesture.”

“Can’t blame me. You taste the sweetest.” Dick only laughed in response, wiping off the streak of honey which she was stained with in the corner of her mouth. “Better than the cookies.”

[belit0]

tobirama x reader breeding kink 7w7?

Combining requests because I think the two go very well together💕🤗💫

"Who's my little breeding toy?" he whispers in her ear as he leans against her, bodies pressed together and firm hands holding her waist in place. (Y/N's) hole seems to be begging for him to bury himself deep inside it, to fuck her mercilessly and fill her as only he knows how.

He's been fighting not to lose consciousness since the exact moment his Omega went into heat, surrendering herself to him in order to ensure proper breeding, triggering his Alpha to engage in the same behavior. Tobirama becomes a beast when it comes to his rutting, achieving the same synchronicity along with her, connected and going through the very same.

The mark that bound them as one, that bite of ownership and control, those sharp fangs digging into her skin long ago, confined them to a destiny of pure understanding, moving in and out of their heats simultaneously, configured to serve each other's needs.

It may be hard to comprehend for whomever is not bonded to anyone, but the rapport one gains about one's partner under the mating bite is on a higher level.

"Does my little girl want everyone to see she's mine? Once all round and full?" his words are but guttural grunts rather than coherent sentences, but she doesn't fail to comprehend anything he says, pressing her ass against his pelvis, kneeling on the bed, and presenting herself to her Alpha.

Feeling that huge erection against her skin is slowly killing her, the warmth of her heat demanding he takes possession of her as a dominant should, filling her until her body senses she is impregnated by him, natural instincts happy to have completed their task.

She cannot find words in the inconsistency of her bestial side, dominated by animalistic needs that do not allow her to express her desires. Tobirama, however, does not need to hear her, only by reading her flesh he knows the right thing to do.

The Alpha, experienced and too powerful for his own good, learned to control the beast residing within him long ago, not completely losing his mind to its needs. Managing to restrain himself even a little gives him the perfect opportunity to enjoy the view, to appreciate (Y/N)'s heat in its full splendor, at least long enough until his own drive demands him to fill her up with his seed.

When one enters their season, thanks to the bonding bite, they trigger the thread that primitively binds them together, attempting to use the situation to their advantage in order to generate offspring, pups, family.

The animal world is as wise as cruel, forcing the Senju to abandon all his experiments today to take care of his wife, also triggered by a sudden rut that requires him to procreate.

(Y/N) moans under him again, begging him between sobs and whimpers to please fuck her. "I can't resist.... your body begs for me to knock you up." He knows he doesn't need to hold out, knows all she wants is for him to make her brim with his completion, yet he adores torturing her even a little before having to submit under his own urgency.

"Be a good slut and stay still, you're getting bred." Unable to withstand anymore, he takes his erection in hand and enters her, the natural lubrication of her pleading cunt helping with the labor. He can hear her purring beneath him, the heat of her body almost too much to tolerate to the touch, increasingly sharp nails holding her in place as he thrusts in and out rapidly.

Tobirama surrenders total control over his body to the beast who struggles with all its might to enjoy the moment, his Alpha stealing his consciousness in a second. His eyes turn full red, prominent claws taking possession of his hands, pointed fangs ready to dig into the very spot where he claimed her.

His wife's moans only fuel the raw hunger he has to fuck her, to possess her completely, to fill her belly with his children, and have everyone understand she is his. It's not enough for her to have his scent, or for his claim bite to be prominent on her neck, he needs to pump her up with the fruition of his efforts and for everyone to know who she belongs to for a good few months.

It's not like there are any doubts about it, anyway.

There's a primal feeling being satisfied every time he sees her stuffed with another litter of his pups, owning her from the inside out. "Good girl...that's right, just like that.... I'm gonna fill you up with cum...fill you with pups." His thrusts are getting more and more violent, strong lunges against her pelvis seeking release.

He knows his wife would beg if she had the chance to use words, pleading to receive every last drop of what he sees fit to deliver, and when he feels the perfect climax for his knot to begin to inflate, he bites her in the same place he did that first time.

He knows his wife would beg if she had the chance to use words, imploring to receive every last drop of what he sees fit to deliver, and when he feels the perfect climax for his knot to start swelling, he bites her in the same place he did that first time.

(Y/N) moans even louder, milking his cock with more enthusiasm, pussy desperate to have it all inside her, straining violently and cumming all over him. It's not enough for Tobirama to join her, forcing the ever-larger knot at the base of his cock in and out, enlarging the hole and making room for it.

When it reaches the right size, the one that will ensure nothing escapes from that tight cunt, his body decides to paint her internally white, filling her completely, growling with fangs digging into her skin and claws hurting her waist.

Both of them convulse with pleasure at a divine culmination, totally sure that in a few months, they will have to deal with a new litter of children.

[lacefedora]

Eyes in the Dark, Devils Minion Armandaniel

for @miwadake who requested Armand stalking Daniel post turning.

sorry this one took me a little while I was away from home -

Daniel can tell he's being watched. To be fair, he could tell when he was mortal too. They were good instincts to have as a reporter. Especially in war zones and the like. But this was different. At first he just thought it was wishful thinking. Louis was fuckin' right... the bond between maker and fledgling was very real. Visceral in a way that he hadn't been expecting.. He had felt Armand's eyes boring into him before, but now, Daniel could be walking through a crowd of hundreds but he knew it was him watching. He would talk to him sometimes. He knew Armand could hear him. He never heard from him directly though. No matter what shit Daniel said to bait him. And he had said a lot of shit to bait him.

Tonight though. Tonight he saw him.

It was just his eyes at first. A flash red-orange eyes in the dark, reflecting the light like a panther's. Daniel's seen his own eyes do that as well. It's a fucking weird thing to witness in yourself... But he immediately knew it was him. He had spent a long time looks at those eyes in those weeks in Dubai. Then he sees dark curls passing by him and he turns, Armand is gone before he can turn fully. He spends the rest of the night chasing shadows, trying to catch up with him. Finally he makes himself stop, starts looking for a meal instead. He bites his tongue, wishing he could scream at Armand. Either in his head or in person. He takes a breath... He wouldn't give him the satisfaction. If he wanted to be a fucking creeper instead of talking to him that was his priority. It's simple enough to find someone to eat. Though he knows he'll have to be fast. He manages to lure his kill to an ally. He was in New York. It really shouldn't have been that easy. As he bites down he's so caught up in the euphoria of the blood on his tongue that he doesn't notices the other presence at first. There's movement and then Armand is just *there*. He's picking up Daniel's dinner's wrist and biting down on it. Daniel jolts back from his own bite when he sees him. "Holy shit man." He snaps at him. "What in the fuck, Armand?" He demands. Armand doesn't let got of his hold on the wrist. He just shifts, looking at Daniel and raising a brow as if to say 'why did you stop?'. "You... are such an asshole." Daniel says but dammit he is hungry. He leans in to drink more blood. He didn't want the fucker to keel over before he had the chance to drink his fill. Drinking from the same victim is an odd and intimate experience. Fuck Louis was right about that too. With the two of them drinking, it's a simple thing to drain him. Daniel pulls back, breathing a little heavy. His heart pounding, face flushing with the new infusion of Blood. He turns and finds Armand staring at him. Daniel stares back not sure where to start.

Armand reaches out and touches Daniel's face. His thumb swipes over Daniel's chin, then his lower lip. It takes Daniel a moment to realize Armand's gathering blood that he had spilled when he pulled back the first time. He's uncomfortably aroused when Armand licks the blood off his thumb.

"Dawn is close. Go home. I will dispose of the body." Armand tells him.

"Oh fuck no. I'm not leaving unless you swear I'll see you after I wake up. Otherwise I'm not letting you out of my fucking sight, Maker." Daniel growls. Armand looks tense at being issued an ultimatum. He would wait. Even if it meant racing the sun. He had left himself enough time to get home.

"I swear you will see me tomorrow after you wake." Armand says finally. Daniel curses softly, then nods. He steps back, heading to his apartment before dawn.

The next evening he finds no Armand in his apartment... disappointing. But he does see red-orange eyes down the ally he passes... baby steps.

[yukidragon]

What was Bo like with his flings? Was he rough with them when having "fun"? What would he do if one of his flings developed romantic feelings for him and is jealous of Barbie and wants to harm her?

Oh ho, you want to know some of the kinky details do you? Well let me slap on a quick warning and tag people before we get started.

Content Warning: this post contains talk of criminal activities, violence, murder, sex, and rough sex including kinks like biting, clawing, blood play, hunting, degrading, and breeding. All sex will be fully consenting by all parties involved no matter how rough it gets.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

We all know how much of an animal Bo is as a digital pet, but in the Mafia AU he had a lot more time to act on those animal instincts without the plastic egg to confine him. He's spent years hunting people down like a dog, often catching them through scent alone. He's ripped and torn into people with his fangs and claws, relishing in the power he wields and the excitement that the fear of his prey brings him. He's grown to enjoy the taste of blood and the smell of fear.

Sex for Bo was for similar animalistic gratification. He used people in the same way that he was always used, without affection or attachments to get in the way. If he found someone attractive who was open to letting him have his way with them, he would pounce on the opportunity and them. Naturally, he would always make it crystal clear to whoever he slept with that he was in control and that they were just his fuck toy until he got bored with them. If they weren't okay with that, then he'd go elsewhere to get his dick wet.

Bo had yet to bond with anyone emotionally until he found his puppy. He never found anyone he could trust or even just wanted to trust. He was on a leash since the day he was created, constantly at others' beck and call without a single care for his feelings. He was made to be a killer, forced to fight and obey. It was all he was allowed to know. If he didn't, the consequences would be pain... and if he was deemed useless, he would be put down like a dog.

Inside, Bo is a very scarred individual, though he won't let anyone know it. He shows confidence and abrasiveness to cover up that soft scared puppy inside him that just wanted to be loved but was always denied. He doesn't even admit to himself that he has a softer side at all at this point. As far as he's concerned, that weak puppy he used to be was mauled to death not long after he was born.

Bo knew all too well what happened to the others who were created like him and what their fate was if they were weak, useless, and fought too hard against their creator's leash.

In comparison to the scientist that first made him, Jack is a better master for Bo... relatively. I haven't ironed out the details of how the switch over went down exactly, but it involved a conflict with the scientist that made Bo, as well as other experiments like Simoun. Bo was almost killed in the ensuing scuffle between the scientist's group and the Blouin Family, but Jack saw potential in keeping Bo around. Bo just needed to be trained to a new master.

The scientist was a sadistic monster, experimenting with humans and using them as playthings. They were someone who dabbled in biological and cybernetic enhancements with the intent to improve humanity. They didn't have any morals or care for their fellow humans and "recycled" the failures that didn't quite make the cut. Bo was always balancing on the edge of a knife when under the scientist's control.

Jack allows Bo a bit more freedom and with less restrictions, mostly as a reward for good behavior. Jack has a much better sense of when to use the carrot or the stick to get people to do what he wants, and of course he has quite the silver tongue. Bo dislikes having a master holding his leash at all, but he saw potential in using Jack to get what he wanted. Jack is aware that Bo isn't content in being on a leash, but he can work with it.

Bo did try to seduce Jack early on, but Jack shut that down immediately. Bo learned quickly his new boss does not like to be touched by anyone.

In retrospect, Bo decided it was for the best he didn't sleep with Jack. There's no doubt his master would dominate him in bed, and he can't abide by that.

Bo constantly lives under the control of others. He's not going to let that happen to him when he's blowing off steam too.

Bo isn't afraid to call an end to sexy times if the person he's seducing refuses to be dominated by him and wants him to be the submissive one instead. He has a desperate need to be in control, and he refuses to give it up to anyone. He uses people to get off and make himself feel more powerful than he actually does about himself deep down. He especially likes it if the person he's sleeping with is intimidated or afraid of him as well as being aroused, though he never does anything without their consent.

Bo refuses to take away a person's ability to consent when it comes to sex. He'll be a terror in the bedroom, but only for someone who is into that sort of thing. He's lived a life of his own consent stripped away from him. He won't do it to anyone else when it comes to sex. He'll tease and seduce, even while he makes it clear how dangerous he is, how easily he could hurt them. He's in control, and he gets off on making them beg him to do such dirty things to them.

Of course, when it comes to pure violence with no sex involved, consent doesn't matter. You can beg Bo not to hurt you, but if you're a target for his master or have something he wants in his own plans to get his freedom, well... you better hope he gets bored of chasing you so he doesn't draw out your suffering for long.

Such is life in such a brutal and bloody world of organized crime.

Bo loves to be the hunter both in and out of the bedroom. He's got a good nose, and he's damn good at tracking people down. The thrill of the hunt makes him feel alive. He's in control and no matter what tricks his prey pulls, he'll always catch them in the end.

When Bo finally catches his prey, he loves to taunt them and take a bite, often ripping out entire chunks out of them in a gruesome, bloody fashion. Of course, during sexy times he only bites as hard as his partner will let him, but he does enjoy the taste of blood. He'd be a fan of bloodplay should his partner consent to it.

Sex and violence both give Bo a lot of similar thrills. He gets off on being the alpha dog in total control of another person's life. Hunting someone he plans to kill gives him the same sort of euphoria that he gets when having sex. He's in total control of someone else. What happens to them is up to him.

In some ways Bo enjoys violence more than sex. He doesn't have to care what the other person wants when he's out to hurt or kill them. Their life is in his hands as if he was their god.

Still, not even the most exciting kill can give the same euphoria as a good orgasm.

It's also not the same as being truly wanted by someone.

Bo can be pretty rough in the bedroom, giving bites, digging his claws into hips, leaving bruises and cuts behind.. He can be a real animal, howling, snarling, and growling. He also enjoys degrading his partners, getting off on reminding them that he's the one in control and they're the desperate slut begging for his cock.

Understandably, Bo can be a bit too intense for some people. It's not uncommon for a fling to suddenly call it quits in the middle of sexy times because Bo was too much of an animal for them to handle.

Although Bo isn't a fan of being blue balled, he's not going to stop them if they want to leave. Annoyance is covered up by his cocky attitude, and he'll sooner taunt them for missing out on a good thing than let himself reflect that their rejection might hurt him or that he is actively pushing others away.

His flings don't matter to him, so it doesn't matter if they abandon him.

Refusing to let others in emotionally shields Bo from the world, but it also prevents him from sincerely connecting with anyone. It leaves him with a hole inside that just keeps getting deeper and deeper, leaving him endlessly wanting. The hole is patched over briefly by his flings, as he gets to savor the feeling of being desired, even if only for his body, but it never lasts.

That sort of impermanence tends to lead to Bo getting bored of his partners rather quickly. There's a few people he sleeps with on a semi-regular basis - think maybe once or twice a month - but most of the time he's hunting for someone new. Being desired by more people, hunting down a reluctant prey and making them beg to be taken by him is more thrilling than already conquered territory.

Sometimes Bo's flings have wanted more from him than just sex, and he's always quick to shut that down. He made it clear from the start that he's only there to fuck. He's a dog that won't be tied down to anyone. If they can't handle it, then he's gone.

It's entirely possible there could be at least one person who pretends to be okay with this arrangement, but secretly hopes that they can be something more to Bo one day.

Of course, chances are if someone in such deep denial found out about Bo's feelings for Barbie, that might drive them crazy.

Bo isn't going to let anyone hurt his puppy. By the time he's yandere for Barbie, he's willing to torment or kill just about anyone who lays a hand on her.

Although Bo isn't loyal to his flings, he'll at least do the courtesy of giving them a warning once he catches wind of something foul. He'll make it very clear that if he gets even a sniff of them thinking of doing anything to his puppy, they're going to find out just how sharp this hunting dog's fangs really are.

If a verbal threat alone isn't enough, then maybe a broken bone or two will send a better message.

If they actually hurt or nearly kill Barbie though... Ho boy, Bo isn't going to show mercy, even if they have history together. He's a man who eliminates threats. Permanently.

Over time, Bo feels less interest in sleeping with anyone else as his obsession with Barbie grows. Even when he slept with someone else during this period of time, he finds it less enjoyable than it should be. He notices the emptiness of it more, which makes him aware that it isn't really what he wants. Only by imagining his current partner is Barbie does he get some of the spark back. It becomes more of just a fantasy about all the things he plans to do with her once his puppy finally submits to him.

Still, it's not the same. His fantasies never quite have the same spark Barbie has. Bo can never quite get her right in his fantasies. He can imagine her whimpering and mewling, begging to be fucked shamelessly like any of his flings, but there's a dissonance that takes him out of the moment. It's not her, and he can't quite match his fantasies to her, especially if the person he's screwing at the time ruins the fantasy by complaining about him calling out another person's name.

Eventually, Bo finds more satisfaction in his own hands than in another random person's bed. Being with someone else isn't the same as bantering with Barbie. There's a tension in the air whenever they're together that is irresistible to him. Her eyes are always full of fire, and he can't help but be drawn to them. She knows she is weaker than him, but she makes up for it in being clever, and she refuses to let him or anyone else break her strong spirit. It's hard not to admire her for that.

There's also this itch Bo feels when he sees how surprisingly gentle Barbie is with her family. He spies on her and catches these candid moments. Although Barbie is prickly with most everyone, for her family she has another side, a protective and even sweet side. It's rare and precious, only for a select few, and she'll fight tooth and nail to keep them safe.

Barbie knows who she is and what she wants. She won't let anyone stop her. She is fierce and will fight the entire world. Yet, when she loves someone, she can show such a tenderness that Bo can't help but want for himself.

Bo wants that side of Barbie. He wants all sides of her. His obsession drives him to the point that eventually he'll be willing to submit himself to someone else for the first time ever. She's the first person he's ever truly loved. He wants so, so much more than just to conquer her in bed. He wants her everything... and he wants a future with her where he can get to experience every side of her that she keeps hidden from the world.

Barbie unlocks Bo's breeding kink. He never wanted kids before, knowing they'd be messed up mutants like him. His life was shit and he had no intention of creating more pups like him to be forced into a life of blood and violence.

But the idea of pups with those beautiful eyes full of fire like Barbie's... Bo can't help but want that. He wants that soft domestic life that Barbie gets to experience with her family, only with him and their children. The two of them are strong, so their pups would be strong as well.

The pups could also grow up knowing softness as well. They could know... love.

Bo could finally know love.

That love Barbie shows her family... Bo wants that. He wants that so badly, but even more. He wants to be the only one she truly needs. He wants her to obsess over him, desire him, be willing to destroy the world for him. He loves her so much that he'll do anything to get her love... even if it makes him do the unforgivable - be weak and submit to someone else of his own volition.

For the first time... Bo allows himself to dream of the future, of the family that he always wanted when he was that weak little puppy who was naïve and innocent... who still didn't yet know why he was created or what the world was really like.

Of course... Bo will be having a difficult time accomplishing his dream while constantly being at odds with Barbie. Her stubbornness and fierce determination draw him in, but also keep him at arm's length. He's got quite the uphill battle ahead of him.

Though, not quite as much as the version of the Mafia AU where Barbie is a singer. Really, that'd be quite interesting if they were flirting and sparks were flying before things become complicated when Alice suddenly gets inducted to the Blouin family...

Hmm... You know I wonder if I could blend the two together...

But that's for another post. I hope you enjoyed this spicy Bo-centric ramble about a very scarred dog that hides just how desperate he is for love behind a mask of violence and arrogance.

[ribbonsandhair]

Hello! Glad to see this!

In that case I'd be happy to request for Valeria with a bestie readerrr YESYESSS😈😈

Tbh I've been starving for this for months.

Idk, just them bonding so well, maybe the reader is in the cartel with her, or is a simple civilian that valeria ended up being deeply fond of!

A kind-hearted and kinda dumb-ish(not naive though) reader and her just being like, "[name], please💀"

And reader having this really gen-z-ish humor, i just think she'd be so confused and pissed cuz she doesn't get the joke sometimes. Maybe reader is just like 2-1 year(s) less than her? + If they're hispanic too!😭😭😭

Sorry for my rambling💀💀💀

OH MY GOD HELLO AGAIN!!!! I LOVED WRITINF THIS SO MUCH I WAS ON A RAMPAGE 😭😭😭 I hope you enjoy this just as much as I enjoyed writing this!! Thanks for requesting babes!!!

Valeria Garza

Where do I START.

So, first, you’re Latino. Duh.

You’re a civilian that was lucky enough to meet Valeria.

You two probably met while getting coffee. You thought she looked pretty, so you complimented her.

“Hola, nada mas quería decirte que me gusta tu cabello!”

She was a little confused why a random person just complimented her hair. She still liked it, nonetheless.

“..Gracias.”

You were a little scared that you made her u comfortable, and after you got what you wanted from the cafe, you went home to cry.

“SOY TAN TONTA. OSÉA!”

You went back to the cafe, since it was your regular spot to just hang out to read a book. You were familiar with most of the employees.

And then, you saw HER.

YOU SAW VALERIA.

You didn’t know if you should just go up to her and apologized while making yourself look even more stupid, or just sit there.

She just SUDDENLY SAT DOWN IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOUR MIND WENT INTO PANIC MODE.

“AY! Oh. Hola!”

She just chuckled and said hi back.

And that’s how your closest friendship bloomed.

Since you’re younger than her, it’s most likely your humor is pretty deranged.

You’ll send her random pictures of god knows what, and say hi right after.

“[Name], por favor.”

You text her super late at night, like three AM.

“Si no te chingo por despertándome en las tres de la mañana–”

Either that or you rant about how you’re glad that she’s your friend because you just finished watching a super sad movie.

“[Name], are you fucking crying.”

You playfully scold her everytime she curses. Which is like in every sentence.

You’re a little dumb, so you end up being pretty clumsy. Without her, you’d be dead by now.

She uses that against you every time you don’t wanna do a favor for her.

“Remember that one time I saved your ass from falling face-first into the concrete? Yeah, that’s what I fucking thought.”

You aren’t aware of her being the leader of the cartel that has corrupted Las Almas. So sometimes she’s hesitant with you.

She won’t respond to your messages for days due to work, so you end up worrying about her. If you ask her why she was gone for so long then she just responds with, “I was pretty busy.”

But she makes it up by hanging out with you for a while, specifically drinking.

On a similar note, you invite her over to have a few drinks with her. Just chill.

When you drink, you become more jokeful and just insane overall.

“Haha, kinda wanna kill myself. Anyways, how’s your day?”

Sometimes concerned with your humor. Can’t tell if it’s just how Gen Z humor is or if you’re that mentally I’ll.

And whenever you two drink together, you guys turn into those Latina moms that will go insane at parties. (I have a good amount of experience with this as a Latino myself.)

Dancing together, blasting music, it’s entertaining.

You also end up talking about chisme.

“Did you hear that my neighbors just got a divorce?”

“Dime más.”

And whenever she goes to your house, she always has a gift. Especially an expensive one.

It can be from some good wine, to straight up clothes and perfumes.

“How did you get the right size?”

“… Instinct.”

(She somehow got information about you.)

Valeria just hopes that she can keep you safe from her job, and doesn’t get you killed. She tries to avoid starting anything that’s super close to you.

[alexanderlightweight]

hello, I'm not sure if it will interest you but...what about something around Maryse making a deal with a demon for her first born? Or something along those vibes

Hey anon, interesting prompt! I kind of did an au of a different idea I’m working on that I think fits.

Tw: Maryse is still in the Circle at this point, canon-typical lack of infant care and violence.

—

Maryse is heavily pregnant, close to full term and she should be resting but the codes Valentine has her working on are endless.

It isn’t until she’s blinking awake, wondering when she fell asleep that she realizes something is wrong.

“What, what happened?” Maryse barely manages to get out and it’s Lucian who is with her. He’s holding her hand; a raw wound on his cheek as she wakes up.

“Maryse, if you need me to, I’ll fix everything. I’ll figure this out. Tell me, did you say yes, did you tell Valentine he could use your baby?”

And rage. Pure hot rage, more than she’s ever felt for a downworlder, consumes her.

“This is my child.” She snarls, because until the babe in her belly is born, it belongs only to her. When it’s born, its soul will be delivered from the cradle of Raziel but for now, her baby is hers and hers alone.

Not even Robert can lay claim until he’s born.

“Okay, okay.” Lucian looks wrecked, more open and vulnerable than Maryse has seen since they were even younger than now. “He’s trying to sacrifice your son to Lilith, an offering of a child for her power.”

And Maryse whites out with how much fury takes her.

She comes back to Lucian shaking her and she swallows, wishing for something to drink, but there’s no time for physical comfort.

She needs to get her child safe which means she needs information.

She wants to demand it’s impossible but the motherly instincts she’s constantly pushed aside don’t let her.

“I am his mother.” She manages to rasp out. “I’ve already done the ritual for him to be blessed by the divinity of the Trueblood line.”

Lucian gives her a sad, small smile. “He can be blessed by two parents, by two mothers even. And Valentine doesn’t care, Maryse, about anything beyond himself. All of this is for power, you know that.”

And Maryse does know that, but everything Valentines always said has made so much sense and he appreciates her talents, in a way the Clave doesn't, thinking she’s still too young.

“What do I do?”

Because Lucian has to have a plan.

“There’s a risk. But the ritual was already started. You can change it. Make the deal yourself with a demon of your own choice and tie the child to a different, greater demon.”

“No! I will not let my child be corrupted by a demon!” Maryse is seething and she wishes she had something to throw, to break.

But she can’t barely lift herself up and has to settle for glaring at Lucian.

“You’d rather they die?”

Maryse almost bites out a yes but there is a soft flutter. The strong kick of a baby who has always been gentle, as if worried to hurt its mother.

How can she hurt her child, who has given her so little pain and so much joy.

“How will this save him?” She asks bitterly, “he’ll still be claimed by a demon in the end. What does it matter if I kill it now? To save its soul from ever being born into such torment. ”

“Because if you’re willing, there is a loophole. You can tie his soul to a descendent instead. You pick the bloodline, and ritual will guide fate into creating a soul bond with whoever he’s comparable with.”

Lucian licks his lips, “you wouldn’t personally get anything out of it. Not like Valentine is hoping to.

“And Valentine, will he notice?”

Lucian shakes his head, “he’ll simply think it’s another failed ritual. A disappointment, and go on to the next.” Lucian hesitates, “he’s already started a new experiment on Jocelyn.”

Maryse realizes in that instance that she and her child, that any of those under Valentine will never be protected.

They will never be safe.

“I’m going to return to the Clave.” Maryse says with finality. “I’m going to take every single piece of evidence I have and I’m going to make a deal. Will you come with me?”

Lucian hesitates, a strange look coming over his face, part-wistful, part-devastated.

“Jocelyn won’t come. Will Robert?”

Maryse gives a dark little scoff and shrugs.

“Who cares. If he follows me, then I will know he was a worthy partner. If any part of him wants to be a good father or spouse, he’ll follow. If he doesn’t, I will disown him from the Lightwood line and sever our union..”

Lucian seems shocked by her pragmatism, but Maryse has always been cold-blooded.

Pregnancy and motherhood have sharpened not dulled her.

“Then we’ll do the ritual. Now, quickly. Before Valentine returns. I’ll gather my stuff and yours while he’s here. He won’t allow me to stay.”

Maryse shudders at being alone and unconscious and at Valentine's mercy, as she apparently and unknowingly has been many times.

“Asmodeus’ line.” Maryse finally decides, “his hate of Lilith is legendary and his surviving children are few in number, if any still exist. There’s a better possibility that none will be compatible with my child, even with the ritual.”

Lucian shakes his head and gives her a small smile.

“Only you would already be planning your advantages.”

Maryse shrugs again and licks her dry lips, her voice will be gone soon.

—she wonders if it hurts so much because her body has been screaming without her knowledge—

“Tactics and strategy are the only things that will protect my child, Lucian. It’s been made clear that even I am not enough to keep him safe.”

So Lucian gathers the tools and Maryse steals her spine and commits the greatest blasphemy she ever has.

She commits, pledges —the child that Raziel gives to her— to be the soul companion of the most compatible of Asmodeus’ spawn.

And while she regrets that she has to, she will never regret preserving and protecting her babe.

Even if that means somewhere, down the line, her son may end up married to some warlock sorceress instead of a strong, sensible nephilim woman.

But that day may never come, and so she prays to Raziel.

And in a way, her prayers are answered.

Her child’s soul will never be connected to some unknown warlock female.

Because as soon as the ritual completes, his soul already belongs to Magnus Bane.

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 45 – The Gods Are Bastards Volume One by D. D. Webb

This was the first web fiction I’ve properly archive binged in a long while. I’d quite forgotten the experience of having however many hundred thousand words just waiting to consume your every waking hour for a weekend and change. So thanks to tumblr peer pressure for getting me to finally give this a try, I suppose.

So, this is a web serial set in a world that very much feels like a D&D setting a couple generations after it broke out of medieval stasis – there’s dragons and demigods and thousand year old retired elven adventurers who are all laws unto themselves, and then there’s also a continent spanning hegemonic empire that’s invented magical railways and telegraphs and industrial revolutions. The story specifically follows the freshman class of the Unseen University, a remote institution run by one of the two or three most powerful (former) adventurers alive, educating and connecting the future global elite. The freshman class – including a demigod, the only two paladins in the world, an amnesiac archdemon, and a pirate crown princess – are the protagonists for the better part of the story, bonding and going to classes and sent on absurd field expeditions and generally becoming an incredibly high-powered adventuring party. Each book also has one or two subplots following characters only very tenuously connected to them out in the wider world, more often than not centred around wither Bishop Darling of the Universal Church (former high priest of the god of thieves) or Principia Locke, conwoman and second most annoying elf alive. I will put my cards on the table now and say these plots are what makes the thing worth reading.

The students are – okay, they start off just, bad, but they do improve over the course of the first few books in terms of how grating they are to read (Book 1 is very heavy on the college soap opera). But they do all have the fundamental issue that, where the other plots largely feel like people embedded in a world with agenda to pursue and complex circumstances to navigate, they all feel like high fantasy superheroes being led along a breadcrumb trail in a world devoid of real threats or meaningful ties outside the university and the occasional specific patron. Or put another way, it is not at all subtle that they are the Protagonists or Reality, which instantly makes me dislike them and want them to fail. But going by what makes popular web fiction I’m fairly sure that instinct is mostly just a me thing.

Special shoutout to Tris, the crusading paladin of the group. As of book one she’s a repressed sheltered army brat who has a whole list of species and religions she thinks should be killed on sight and several historical genocides she wholeheartedly endorses. She has a real arc over the volume, but a big part of it is less challenging the fundamental logic of that than just slowly removing lines from her kill on sight list (but nowhere near all of them). I am not entirely sure how self-aware the book is about this.

The remainder of the book, and by far the better part, is mostly dedicated to sideplots centring Bishop Darling’s byzantine intrigues within the universal church, the politics of the empire’s capital city, and his high forays into high risk tutoring and foster-parenting, and Principia Locke, thieves guild resident underachiever, town ne’erdowell and second most obnoxious elf alive. These two characters are objectively the best, and also they’re allowed to be at genuine risk and thrown into tasks where fucking up is a real possibility and the ultimate resolution is very unclear. The best plot of the entire volume is easily Darling and 3 other bishops being deputized as a black ops force by the (arch)pope and sent to illegally poke around a small town, and they’re all the most insufferable people you’ve ever met stuck sharing an airbnb.

The story plays a lot with western tropes and aesthetics transposed onto he magitech high fantasy setting – the ‘Golden Sea’ is an infinite, impossible to navigate expanse in the centre of the continent, home to nomadic plains elf bands and centaur herds, and the imperial frontier has now pushed right up to its edge, full of things like saloons and sheriffs and marshals and magical trains and gun wand-fights and ten gallon hates. This is very fun, but the moving of the reference period from vaguely medieval Europe to the late 19th century USA makes things certain subtext that’s already unfortunate in standard fantasy downright painful – centaurs, clearly and obviously playing the role the savage indian raiders in some mid-century western, are portrayed as a universally evil culture whose main salient trait is that they will literally rape any prisoners to death, and are stated to have been righteous and heroically ethnically cleansed everywhere but this barbaric frontier. It’s, uh, not great.

Now, I came to this serial as someone who has wasted untold days and hours becoming immersed in D&D, like, Lore, which meant that I was incredibly well prepared because there are so many D&D easter eggs in this I think it might technically be a fanwork like Order of the Stick or something. There’s a Drizzt joke that made me audible groan, and more broadly the entire setting is just very incredibly clearly “D&D 3.5 campaign setting plus 50 years and an industrial revolution’. “Adventurers” were a coherent social class, ‘dungeons’ are a thing, there are profoundly uncomfortable attitudes towards ‘monstrous’ races that live in them, the whole shebang. I mostly found this charming, but it’s a thin line, and I can very easily imagine it being utterly insufferable.

Anyway, this is theoretically a complete volume, but it’s also books one-four of, like, seventeen. In the grand tradition of web serials everywhere, it’s three times longer than it really needs to be, and absolutely littered with plot seeds and foreshadowing which might either pay off in five hundred thousand words or never be mentioned again. I’m honestly not particularly sure how well the volume holds up as a coherent work, separate from everything that comes after – Principia got a complete and well done character arc, but that’s about the only part of it I’d say really works here.

As the first fifth or so of a longer work it did get me to keep going onto book five with barely a breath in between though, so on balance I’d say it works.

[bloodymarymorstan]

Ok so I just watched the latest episode of What If where Captain Carter (Peggy if she was Captain America) fights the Hydra Stomper (Steve if he was the Winter Soldier) because I KNEW they were once again gonna do the thing where they give all of Steve and Bucky's interactions to Peggy and Steve and say that this time they are romantic even though they definitely weren't when it was 2 very straight bros (lol) so. Let's get into it (spoilers for s2e5 of What If, obviously):

When Peggy finds out Steve is alive she goes to Nick Fury and he tells her there have been rumors of this for decades; Peggy's angry he and Natasha didn't tell her - this is interesting because in TWS Peggy was part of the organization that was hiding rumors about Bucky from Steve. Peggy is objecting to something she was part of in the actual MCU

Natasha says "the Steve Rogers that you loved died in 1953" - a similar sentiment to what people were saying to Steve about Bucky but more overtly romantic. They throw the word "love" around in the episode quite a few times, like they need to make it extra clear

Bucky (who's old and working for SHIELD) finds out Steve is alive and his reaction is pretty tame, like he's surprised and I guess happy but he doesn't really seem to care that much which is just ridiculous (especially bc in this timeline Steve and Bucky kept working together for several years after the war) - Bucky is also stated to have had a wife and kids and has clearly moved on from Steve in the way Peggy did in the original movies

The Hydra Stomper (Steve) is going to kill Bucky, Bucky stands in front of him to talk him down. He doesn't want to kill Steve which is obviously good and in character. The thing he says to try to get Steve to snap out of it is "let's get a drink" which cracked me up because is that the no homo version of "end of the line" for these writers?? Anyway, Steve does lower his gun but then he raises it again (we don't see if he would have actually killed Bucky because Peggy intervenes at this point)

There's a romantic scene where Peggy and Steve bond over their shared traumas which... shared life experience, anyone? (What If I threw myself off a cliff?) - it does turn out that Steve is secretly still brainwashed at this point and is trying to lure Peggy in so idk how seriously I should take this scene

In terms of dialogue, the final fight scene between Peggy and Steve is very similar to the one with Steve and Bucky in TWS. Eventually, Peggy drops her shield and tells Steve that she doesn't want to fight him, and is going to let him kill her. The line she says that gets him to stop is "I want to be with you. Even if this is the end. I want you." She also says "I can't lose you again." This is basically EXACTLY what "I'm with you til the end of the line means", but a bit less ambiguous (and also less poetic, the original line is obviously much better)

Steve doesn't kill Peggy, he flies off (but he also doesn't save her life like Bucky does for Steve in TWS so. Inferior)

At the end, Peggy is planning to go find Steve, even though nobody thinks she'll be able to save him (again, basically the exact same as TWS)

My concluding thoughts:

It's hard to say what Marvel's exact goal is with the phenomenon of giving so many of Steve and Bucky's interactions to Steve and Peggy in EU content, but it's definitely gotten pretty ridiculous and out of hand. There is an instinct to accuse them of homophobia and wanting to rewrite Steve and Bucky's story to make it straight/less significant, but I also wonder if the bigger factor is that the writers know that Steve and Peggy's canon ending makes no sense considering how underdeveloped their relationship was, and they want to trick viewers into thinking they had a better written romance by giving them more meaningful moments in What If (and also Rogers The Musical but that's for another post). That being said, if the best way to write a better romance you can think of is to use the exact same plotline the supposedly straight protagonist had with his male best friend (but that people have been interpreting as a romance for years and years) then maybe you should be reflecting on why that is. Ultimately though it's just lazy writing (have some originality!) and will never erase the fact that the real movies were gay as hell. I'll definitely be taking this as further proof that TWS was a romance all along.

[shummashum]

Zeus Brundle Happy Ending [17~21]

She decided to leave the final stop of this tour entirely up to him. So the place they went was…

oh… the library? it looks so gloomy and dreary and dismal put some proper lighting on it, it's okay if the place doesn't live up to its name so please…

well… it's kinda impressive though

Accidentally stumbling upon a book she had wanted to read for a long time, she grabbed it up and sat down at a nearby desk.

what do you think is the reason for the existence of library…… you know what a library is, right? you're just joking, right?

I bet he's going to use his textbook as a trivet

how can she get it back if he steals the book like that completely behind in reach guess he's about 186~188cm tall? he'd have long arms then she has no choice but to lose the book :/

woah stop what are you doing now in this sacred space of learning do that somewhere outside!! don't in the library behave fucking behave

okay what can I do, anyway what can I do but groan in pain through the screen just don't get caught please……

okay! I think a kiss is okay it would be okay if they don't go beyond that please I beg you I don't like public stuff,,,,,,,,

this guy is a glass canon… right? his attack stats is indeed high, but his defense stats is noticablely low we should take advantage of that he tends to be weak in unexpected situations… so the answer is a kiss in return break his guard down!!

ha you can handle it? you just say that but I doubt you actually have any experience, my instincts tell me so

well, whatever! if you once start, show me the end hang on a second, I'll get some movie glasses and some popcorn…

huh wait what wait!! what's that hairstyle what!! why did my twin-tail bishoujo become two-side-up this is not good

what what are you doing now in this sacred space of learning just do that kind of stuff in the dorm… do you guys really have to do the deed here? in a place where there is no bed, no sofa, and only a hard wooden chair and desk? in a public place?? is this how all Gen Z live these days……

that's right!! that mindset go counter attack go

oh… she really did it

I got the feeling they'll compete with each other to take the lead when the time comes a competition to see who can send the other person to climax first huh lewd

zako ww so bad at defense www he is definitely a glass canon creak!!

they say that if you think someone is cute, it's game over if you think someone is cool, that impression can be broken at any time; but if you think someone is cute, they look cute no matter what they do

trailer bgm on I really like it when they play this song in the ending scene, it sure makes emotion heightened…

wa!! happy ending!!

So the Zeus route, which started on Dec 11th, was finished on Jan 25th. I'll just overlook that the upload date is the 26th

Review

It was fairly fun! Solmare must have prepared a lot during the cataclysm. The amount of content has increased significantly compared to the previous season… It's a good thing that there are many delicious things to eat.

The biggest difference from the previous season is: regular characters with unique personalities showed themselves. In previous seasons, only the characters from each season received screen time, and the rest took a backseat. But now S6 comrades (Z H A C L) continue to appear in the story and build a bond with Liz. Then there will be no such thing as a kinda unrealistic story like "I revealed my dark backstory to someone I met less than two weeks ago and I was saved by them." Moreover from the player's perspective, there is a much higher chance of feeling attached to the characters. It kills two birds with one stone!

This Zeus guy doesn't have any special backstory, but therefore, his route was able to provide a solid foundation for outlining a preliminary explanation of how the story will flow in future seasons, introducing the personalities and settings of S6 comrades. As I said before, it felt like a pilot episode… but in a good way. Given the cataclysmic event, it was essential to provide an explanation of the unfolding events, and I believe Solmare did a good job of using his route. There were a few scenes that made me wonder why they existed, but overall it was a very enjoyable story! Quite delicious.

About the character Zeus… self-centered, childish, overconfident, impatient, hot-tempered, and reckless dumbass, but unhateable! like that. I like this kind of goofy and idiotic guy. I already had a high affinity for this character just by glancing at him a few times on Tumblr before reading the story. Honestly I didn't give him a good evaluation in the first two chapters because… it's obvious. I even slightly lost hope in some of his "behavior used for a certain purpose" and that kind of behavior in Ch5. But! A lot of extra points were added in his creaking scene at the end of Ch8. I like a glass canon. Still, I think he would be better as a goofygoofy vibe side character rather than as a love interest… I'm looking forward to the stupid things he does in the later routes!

Trivia

It takes longer to read one character's story than I thought… considering there was a gap of about a week in between, roughly 6 weeks. not short. I can write one post a day because it's vacation now, but once the semester starts, I can't guarantee that I'll be able to maintain that frequency…? Well I'll think about it later, anyway my goal is to play all Season 7 routes within this year.

Aaaannd, I'll start Klaus' route in February. His birthday is Jan 26th, so I was originally going to start on that day, but writing this took up more of my mental energy than I thought, so I decided to take a little break this month.

btw when can I see his normal ending and unhappy ending, there are too many routes to observe and I don't have time to look at the one I've already seen erm.......... time to use youtube power again I guess

[lifetimeshipper]

Angel From A Dream

Chapter 11

~~~~~~~~~~

A bit later, Steeljaw opens his optics to see Strongarm still resting in his arms with her helm laying on his shoulder, her optics are closed to show she's still sleeping. He watches her as he thinks back to his actions earlier. What is it about this femme that makes him want to go to such great lengths to ensure she's safe and will stay with him? 

He never did anything like that for any bot, especially for a femme. He never saw himself as the type to drive himself crazy like that to protect any femme. But this femme has so much effect on him that it drives him crazy to think about exactly how much effect she has. She makes his protective instincts just go wild. But he doesn't mind it. He will protect his mate at any cost.

Strongarm's optics open as her systems kick back on to wake her up. She looks around before noticing she's still in Steeljaw's arms and sitting between his legs. She looks over at him and finds him watching her, just staring at her like he's in some daze. She takes a look at his shoulders before removing his arms and slowly moving to where she's on her knees. She notices his reluctance to let go but he releases her anyway and lets her do whatever she's planning. She reaches behind her and pulls out a medkit from her subspace.

Steeljaw watches her with curiosity as she pulls out the medkit, he didn't know she had one. He quietly watches as she opens up the kit and he wonders what she's up to. He's guessing she's about to fix the wound on her chest. Strongarm brings some oily-like ointment from the kit and moves closer to him, she then puts some of it on her fingers, gently places it on his shoulder, and rubs it in. Steeljaw hisses but doesn't do anything, he just lets her do what she's doing.

"Doesn't feel nice to be surprised with something like that, does it?" Strongarm spoke.

"I wasn't as surprised as you were."

Strongarm remained silent as she continued to rub the ointment over the burns and scuffing on his shoulder. But something kept prodding at her processor and bugging her, "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why do I keep getting pain and this sick feeling every time I get away from you?"

"It's the bite mark I gave you."

Strongarm looks at him confused, "What does the bite mark have to do with it?"

"I don't know much about it, only what I've read. But from what I have read on it when a Wolf-Con bites the one they want as their mate some kind of chemical gets released into the femme or mech's body which bonds them to the Wolf-Con that bites them. Nobody completely knows how it works but due to the chemicals the femme or mech that gets bit and marked cannot be away from the Wolf-Con that bit them, or they will experience great pain and sickness."

"Felt that. That day after I escaped I got these sharp pains throughout my body and I felt sick to my stomach. I even purged out my tanks. It only started subsiding when you drew closer to my location."

"I also felt pain and sickness, but it was mostly from you. Somehow when you experience the pain and sickness I feel it from you, along with my own pain. But I mostly feel empty when you're not near me like a piece of me is missing."

"So, whenever I'm away from you I'll experience that pain and sickness?"

"Yes, every time."

That's gonna make escaping and getting back to my team more complicated. "And what if I never get back to you, will the pain keep going?"

"It will, and eventually it will kill you."

Strongarm stops rubbing and looks at him in shock, "You're not serious. Please say you're not serious."

"I'm serious. From what I have read if the femme or mech stays away from the Wolf-Con that had marked them for too long they will die, it's known to happen. The pain will become too great for their systems to handle and they will go into complete shutdown. Which is why I need you to stay by my side, I don't want to lose you."

Strongarm decided not to say a word as she got back to rubbing the ointment on his shoulder, but she was full of questions. She wondered why Steeljaw would even mark her if he knew what would come from it. Surely he's not so naïve to think she would stay with him and not try to escape. 

Unless that is part of his plan to keep her from escaping, but if that's the case then he doesn't want her just for information on her team or anything. He truly wants her to be with him. But she can't. She can't be with a 'Con criminal, it would ruin her reputation and any chances of surpassing cadet and being a full-fledged cop. 

But Steeljaw had already ruined all that by marking her with his bite so she belongs to him and she can't get away. As the realization sank in she started feeling angry as well as helpless, her hatred for this 'Con increasing even more. He's ruining her life and she hates him for it, and the hate just keeps increasing the more it sinks in what he's done. 

Also, what he did to Sideswipe was unforgivable. Sure she doesn't get along with him and he's always getting on her last nerve, but he didn't deserve what Steeljaw did to him. Is he even alive or did he die from his wounds? She doesn't even know.

Strongarm continues to tend to his shoulders but refuses to look at him again, right now she can't stand the sight of him but she's tolerating him because they're stuck in the cell together. But another reason she can't look at him is that for some reason whenever she looks at him, she gets this feeling in her spark that she never felt before and she knows it's not hatred. But she's not sure what it is.

She finishes applying the ointment to his shoulders, closes the medkit, and puts it away. She could wax and buff his armor but she's not gonna be that nice, she's not even gonna give him the privilege of doing it himself. She tells herself it's to punish him and to show there's a limit she will go to with her kindness but she's not certain that's the whole truth.

Could she be wanting to keep a reminder of what he did? She's not sure but she sure as hell isn't gonna dwell on that thought. She gets up and walks over to the Energon pile and picks up a cube, she then walks back over to Steeljaw and hands the cube to him, "Here, drink up."

Steeljaw takes the cube and watches her as she walks away and sits down against the wall a couple of feet away from him. He feels a bit sad that she's not getting back into the spot she had been in but he knows that what he said triggered something in her and now she wants to be at a distance once again.

He knows she still hates him and no doubt that hate increased after explaining the whole biting thing but he will get her to love him back in time, he's determined to. He's not one to be patient but for this, he will be as patient as he can be to have her. He turns his attention back to the Energon cube in his servo and starts drinking it.

The two sit in silence for a few minutes until Strongarm finally speaks up, "I think I may know how we could get out of here."

Steeljaw stops drinking the Energon and looks over at her, "Yeah? How?"

Strongarm wills herself to look over at him, "On my way back here I saw a room where they have a Ground Bridge. I don't know how they got one but I'm sure we can use it if we can get out of this cell and get to it. It will be our ticket out of here."

Steeljaw's interest piqued even more, "Have any ideas how we can get to it?"

Strongarm looked away from him, "No, still thinking."

"Hm. I'll see if I can come up with something." Steeljaw got back to drinking his Energon. Just as he downed the last bit of it the humans returned with their guns fixed on the both of them as they opened the cell. The leader walked in and pointed to Steeljaw, "You, you'll be coming with us."

Steeljaw growled at the human, "I don't take orders from you!"

"If you want your female to stay safe you best do as I say."

Steeljaw went silent as he thought it over, he didn't want to follow this human's orders but he also didn't want any harm to come to his mate. That protective side of him kicks in again and he gets the same feeling he had gotten earlier which drives him to this crazy decision, "Fine, I'll come." He gets up and waits for the human to lead.

The guy turns and nods his head to one of the soldiers standing by before walking out of the cell with Steeljaw following suit and a few of his soldiers following close behind with their guns fixated on the mech. After they left the soldier that the leader nodded to walked over to Strongarm and pulled out what looked like a syringe, he stuck the syringe into the area where Strongarm's hip and thigh connected and then walked away.

Strongarm watched the humans leave and close the cell door as she wondered what they just injected into her, "Wait! What did you just give me?"

The humans ignored her question and continued walking until they were out of her sight. She's not sure what they just gave her but she knew it couldn't be good.

~~~~~~~~~~

Steeljaw followed the leader to a different cell that had a huge metallic door instead of a cell door. It didn't seem to have the electrical current the cell door had but Steeljaw did notice the thickness of it and how heavy it looked, it would be very hard to break through, but at the same time quite possible if given the strength and right motivation. 

As Steeljaw walked into the cell and the door began to close he wondered what their motive was for doing this, "What is all this!? Why are you separating us!?"

"It's for an experiment I want to try out."

"What kind of experiment!?"

"You'll see," the guy said as he closed the door before walking away with his soldiers. Steeljaw didn't know what they were up to now but he didn't like where it was going, especially since it meant he had to be away from Strongarm. But all he can do is wait and see what's going to happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1

Next Chapter

[four-bastard-bustle]

Real quick I just wanna say I love your version of the guys sm they’re literally so good I can not get over them :33

I know youve mentioned a few times throughout the blog that Tom and Tord end up infiltrating the Red Army base and stuff and Ive always been curious if you have any ideas about it or anything??

Sadly I've got no like big scenarios planned out, just a couple of snippets and the broad strokes of this.

It'd be a good while after Tord had come back to the UK and they'd figured out he had an evil clone on the loose. I don't even know how they'd find the base, allthough it would be really funny if they just randomly stumbled upon it while walking through the city or something and arguing about something. Some kinda "well it's not like we can just go kill your evil clone like that we don't even know where the base is (said while passing a building brightly labelled as Secret Evil Base For The Red Army)" scenario.

I am also thinking about that moment from hello hellhole where Tord throws the disk in the air and Tom just catches is, I've always found that a really interesting little bit that makes me feel like the two of them can actually work together really well as long as they're not like Thinking About It as teamwork, y'know? And i want this to have that vibe, like, they just compliment each other perfectly as they rip and tear through the army soldiers. Sort of like that one post i reblogged, Tord would have a glass canon vibe while Tom is the tanky guy taking most of the hits with his thick skin.

Allthough eventually Tord gets knocked out and dragged away or something cause I imagine him ending up tied up in Red Leader's office. Just him and his way cooler copy gazing down at him with nothing but hatred in his eyes. Very scary!

Red Leader does like a good ol villain monologue about his plans to take over the world and his revenge for what the dirdum lane boys did to him. In my Version of th* *nd there's no big angst or anything, they just saw the robot on their lawn as they came back from fishing and Edd immediately blew it up with a beam. So Red Leader talks about the green man and how he's ruined everything and will always come back to ruin his plans and so he's going to kill Edd once and for all.

And THAT gets Tord to take the whole thing even more seriously. He's lucky this guy hadn't hurt his friends yet but the open admission he plans to do so, With His Face, made his blood run cold and also boil at the same time. Some kind of Extreme Friendship Instinct kicks in and Tord breaks out of his restraints and him n RL have a bit of a cool fight but there's no intent to keep it going to look cool, there's only the intent to KILL from both of them. I'm also imagining right now that RL Will Not Shut Up during this whole thing about his plans and how nice it'll be to be the copy that bests the original. Tord fucking hates it, he's such a quiet guy and here's his evil clone that just talks and talks and talks and it's so fucking annoying.

Just had a brain blast about RL's death, because the original concept was just that Tord shoots him, but since I'm going for this overall effect of Tom and Tord becoming actual friends from this maybe Tom manages to fight his way through to Tord and they do some kind of coordinated duo attack to kill RL in a slightly humorous yet still pretty cool fashion. Hm something to chew on.

Either way they get him and go out to celebrate and by the end of the day they're finally friends because killing the evil guy who was menacing the people they both care about the most is a great bonding experience <3

[practically-an-x-man]

1, 2, 3, 4, 9, 10, and 16 for Jasper, Eris, and Nikoletta? :)

Oooh thank you!!

Answers under the cut for space :D

Edgy/Misc OC Asks

What memory would your OC rather just forget?

Jasper: The sensation of Kyle's death through their empathic sense. Sometimes they wonder if it would be easier to have just seen it, but they'll always be plagued by how it felt to have all his emotions just completely cut off like that.

Eris: Honestly... they have very few regrets. Either things turn out alright or they don't. The closest would be seeing Rick get stabbed by Peacemaker, since that's the closest he ever came to dying and it scared Eris like nothing else, but even that they were able to mostly brush off once they were assured he'd be okay.

Nikoletta: STAR Labs. Anything from STAR Labs.

2. What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

Jasper: That they're a nurse - they're a punk with dyed hair and tattoos, who's usually covered in bruises from roller derby. Who would guess that they spend their life administering patient care?

Eris: That they're as old as they are. His features do look a little off, in a sort of "undistilled" way since she was born so long ago, but he still mainly just looks like someone from Türkiye or Egypt, vaguely in their thirties, and people wouldn't guess that they're actually centuries old.

Nikoletta: Probably her relationship with Abner - neither the fact that it exists, or how it takes shape. Especially after Belle Reve, she comes off as extremely stern and powerful and aloof, and I feel like people would never expect to see her being soft with a sorta-awkward guy like him (even though she's very happy and in love)

3. What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

Jasper: They can't let go of connections they make - meaning they'll stick with a friend even if the friendship is toxic, they struggle to cut off their homophobic parents, and they take peoples' criticisms of them harshly. This can be a good thing at times, since they'll be an incredibly loyal and caring friend and would never consider betraying/cheating/etc., but it also means they can be stepped on.

Eris: They're too careless about life. Others, yes, we all know they're not afraid to be ruthless, but even with themself - he'll push his healing factor to the absolute brink of its limit, and someday it might get her killed for good.

Nikoletta: She struggles to trust people. She's let Abner in, of course, and most of the other members of the Squad (Corto Maltese was quite the bonding experience), but outside that half-dozen people? There's nobody she can rely on. Even with the people she does trust, she still wouldn't leave her drink unattended with them or leave the apartment unlocked for them to stop by - not because she doesn't like them, but because Belle Reve has broken her trust so completely that she can't bring herself to willingly put any amount of her safety in their hands (except maybe Abner, and we both know it took a lot to get there)

4. When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

Jasper: Depends on the situation. If someone else is in danger, they're trained to jump into action (from being a trauma nurse). If it's themself in danger, their instinct is to freeze.

Eris: Fight! That's Eris' response to a lot of things, actually...

Nikoletta: By instinct, fawn, but she's trained herself to be combative instead.

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

Jasper: Hold the Line by Toto

It's not in the words that you told me It's not in the way you say you're mine It's not in the way that you came back to me It's not in the way that your love set me free

Eris: Weapon by Against the Current

I seem fine But I can't take the highs and the lows All I am is a weapon (weapon) I shoot 'em down 'til I end up alone

Nikoletta: Whispers by Halsey

"This is the voice in your head that says "You do not want this" This is the ache that says "You do not want him"

10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

Jasper: Hm... I could see a role-reversal AU being interesting, good premise for angst, but for something lighter it could be fun to try out a florist/tattoo parlor AU (since Jasper likes tattoos and heavier stuff, and I could see Kyle taking the florist role)

Eris: Not really an AU since it would fit in the main fic, but I wouldn't mind writing more of Eris' escapades throughout history. I guess if I wanted to make it an AU it would be a reincarnation AU - like they keep running into various humans that they end up getting close to, every hundred years or so, with the idea that it's always Rick's soul finding its way back to them?

Nikoletta: Hm... maybe a fantasy AU, or like a witch-and-wizard thing? Like Nikoletta is a shadow witch, and the other members of the squad are different types of magic-users (Nanaue is a demigod, Cleo is a druid, etc.)

16. What is your OC's pain tolerance like?

Jasper: Reasonably high - they're a roller derbyist, they deal with a lot of bumps and bruises, but I think they're better at dealing with blunt pain (like bruises and sprains) than sharp pain (like cuts)

Eris: Pain? What's pain? They've literally been eviscerated before, pain is nothing.

Nikoletta: Not as high as you might think - she can sustain a lot of discomfort (being cold, hungry, etc.), but she tends to avoid outright pain if she can

[timefortwig]

Twig - Arc 3 - Chapter 3

Finally! After 10,000 years, I'm free! Time to... read Twig. Sorry guys, exams and family stuff have kept me from updating in ages, but I'm back! Now, on to the reading.

Last time, our heroes were sealed in the bowels of the Radham Academy with Sub Rosa and the other murderous experiments. We last left them backed into a corner by a locked door, hounded by convicts turned monsters. How will the Lambs get out of this one?

The Lambs consider splitting up to run from the experiments, and we see their bond by how they decide that either they all run or none do. Despite being hunted by experiments, there sure is a lot of dialogue. I guess talking is a free action. Speaking of which, does anyone know a good ttrpg system to run a game set in the world of Twig? I've considered using a tweaked version of Call of Cthulhu, but I'm open to other options.

The Lambs, my friends, my gang, my family.

I didn’t want to see them get hurt.

Sy, your soft side is showing. Really, he's been very protective of Mary this chapter

The convicts surrounded her.  I could only barely make out their eyes in the gloom, as they stared down the hallway at us.

I heard a snicker.

Oh God, the convicts are still sapient

“Academy brat.”

Oh God, they can talk, and they sound like kids. Just when you think you know what to expect from Wildbow, the guy throws something completely out of left field

Sy, in either an uncharacteristic moment of bravery or very characteristic moment of recklessness, puts himself in Sub Rosa's path, knowing full well how likely this is to get him converted into chunky salsa. The convicts apparently blame the Lambs for what happened to their bodies, or maybe the Academy as a whole, and one is having a whale of a time describing how he's going to brutally kill Sy.

Sub Rosa walks right past Sy, smoothing down his hair. Maybe she was a mother in her previous life and still holds some basic "don't kill your children" instincts? The soft-spoken convict, who I'll call "Baby" for the sake of convenience, tries to stab Sy with his hand spikes. Sy, for some reason, opens his mouth to Baby's attack and gets electrocuted I think. Wonder what bullshit Sy is pulling this time.

apparently he's trying to exploit Sub Rosa's motherly instincts to get her to kick the shit out of Baby, but concludes that it was a dumb idea afterwards. He spits out a bit of broken tooth and stares Baby down like a badass. While he's analyzing Baby, Sy runs through several methods of trying to convince him that I remember from a class I took on rhetoric a while ago, Ethos with the appeal to authority/building connection with Baby by staring him down, discounting Logos, and settling on using Pathos if the need arose.

Baby menaces Sy with spikes of electrified metal, and then electrocutes him again. But Sub Rosa appears to be coming to Sy's rescue, and Baby backs off. Meanwhile, the rest of the Lambs are stoically cowering in the corner. Sub Rosa reaches into the door and pulls out an... intestine. Ok. That also appears to be causing major structural damage to the building. This whole building is alive, isn't it. Sub Rosa then proceeds to methodically tear down the door with her bulging muscles.

Am I weird for thinking that Sub Rosa is kind of hot? I can't be the only one who thinks that right?

anyway, a tenuous peace forms between the Lambs and the mutilated convicts. Sy, even if Sub Rosa is protecting you, you might not want to piss off the convicts with electro-spikes. The new party walks into an area populated by scientists, and the Lambs just sort of awkwardly stand around while Sub Rosa and the cons kill them all.

Sy then... uh... reaches under Mary's skirt. However, he only does this to steal one of Mary's concealed knives. You know, Sy, there are times where I absolutely adore you, and others where I really don't like you. Mary is understandably pissed, but can't say anything because of the con standing right next to them. Fuck you Sy.

Ok, Jamie silently conveys to Sy that that one dead scientist's relative is in the part of the lab Sub Rosa is headed for. Sy takes his knife and strides up to take the duty of "killing" the next target. And the chapter ends there with Sy musing on how fucked they all are.

And that will be all for today, I hope to update again sometime this decade, but no promises lol. Until next time, vile experiments of the Academy.

By the way, Special thanks to Wildbow for writing Twig and to Kim Dauber for voicing the audiobook I use to do these posts.

One question, will the nutshot counter even be needed in future chapters? or am I just wasting time?

[starfieldcanvas]

do you have any experience with or advice for coping with terminally ill loved ones who are now on the edge of the end? you’ve always been very wise and thoughtful with your answers to things, and I’m feeling a little lost right now.

I've had four grandparents die, but all when I was either twelve years old or fairly distant from them in one way or another, and I'm not sure that's the kind of experience you're looking for - I was more supporting my grieving parents than grieving myself.

the most relevant experience is probably when @fleetingeternities died, because she was young - younger than me by a few years - and, although there wasn't a specific time estimate, i knew she had a disease that would eventually kill her (rather than the kind of neurological and physical decline associated with senescence.)

honestly, I don't feel like I handled it well at all...her brother emailed me to let me know she had died, because I was on a list of internet friends to contact in the event of her death, and he asked if i had any stories or memories i wanted to share for her memorial service. and i knew she'd had a decent relationship with him but she'd had such a complicated and contentious relationship with the rest of her family - namely, they repeatedly tried to stop her from talking to strangers on the internet about her situation and illness - that i didn't feel like telling them anything about how we had bonded over avengers soulmate AUs. so i just. didn't reply. i was just quietly sad.

that's after her death, though. before her death... well, she was already sick when i met her, although i didn't know HOW sick right away. i think i dealt with it basically by repeatedly reminding myself that not everything is my problem to fix, and that what she needed was for me to be her friend and to not make everything about my own distress, even indirectly.

i will now collect what i have learned from her death, deaths in my family, and deaths in my community into what i think might be helpful to you.

1) dumping out

you might have encountered this concept before, but in case you or any of my followers haven't, it's an important one for anyone dealing with a secondhand trauma: dumping out.

Think of any crisis as a target with rings around it. The person experiencing the trauma directly - in your case, your terminally ill loved one - is at the center. If they have a caretaker, such as a spouse or an adult child doing the bulk of the care work, that person is in the second circle. Dependent children would go in that circle as well. Very close friends and any immediate family members who no longer live in the home probably come next. And so on from there, with the outer rings less affected by the crisis than the inner rings.

We all have to talk about crisis in order to process it, but it's important to "dump outward" when you wordvomit your struggles onto someone. The caretaker is likely under a lot of emotional strain, but if they try to process their grief and worry by talking it out with the terminally ill person, that's "dumping in". Instead they should "dump out" to someone less immediately impacted by the situation. And so on into the outer rings.

It sounds pretty obvious when I say it like that, but there can be kind of a wounded-animal instinct to keep the grief in, regardless of dump direction; there can be a fear that talking it over with someone less affected will spread the sorrow rather than ease it; there can be a natural assumption that the most affected will understand the best. So sometimes people dump in instead of out, and sometimes they resist dumping at all. Or they dump so far out that they have no sense of shared sorrow - if you're very close to the crisis but only talk to people 100% unimpacted (like me) that might not satisfy your needs much as you'd like.

I guess it's just a reminder to make yourself available for some "dumping out" from the people one or two rings in, and make sure you have folks to "dump out" to yourself, that you can categorize as less impacted or at least only similarly impacted as yourself.

That might help with being more systematic in your coping: thinking of yourself as ferrying emotional burden (and possibly caretaking burden as well) away from the center of the crisis and out towards the fringes.

2) ritualize your grief

Enact your own rituals. If other people suggest rituals, do your best to participate. There's a reason humans have been inventing mourning rituals since before we were even homo saliens sapiens, and it's not base superstition. It's that rituals help us process. They trigger our sadness in a way that helps us connect to each other and collaboratively process that sadness.

So, assuming you can still talk to your loved one, have an intentional interaction where you ask them a question about their life you never knew the answer to; tell them something about yourself you never said, and ritualize it somehow - associate it with an object or piece of media. Do it together with fellow loved ones. Doodle together on the same paper or listen to their favorite song together or interact with literally any other thing together that will be a sappy Important Last Memory Attempt.

If they're past that now and you haven't already done something you feel falls into this category, then do something ritualized with other affected loved ones. I know when my mom's mom was passing, my mom and my aunt sang a hymn together at her bedside, a practice which would work nearly as well with a secular song. You can google "deathbed vigil" for great practical advice if you're going to be physically present and providing support during the person's last hours.

But even if you're halfway across the country, you can still do some sort of ritualized memorial-like thing in your loved one's name, and it's important! It helps! It's not magical or religious, it's very very real.

3) hugs are good

Hug people. Hug fellow grievers, hug unaffected folks offering you support, hug pillows and stuffed animals. Nice long hugs, aggressively hard hugs, leaning on each other side-hugs. Get that oxytocin flowing. Touch. Touch touch touch touch. Including people you don't normally touch. Not to the point of true discomfort for anyone involved (that would be the opposite of helpful) but do your best to crank it up a notch.

What I remember is a tendency to sort of - hunch up. Tense up. Hold very still. And when I hugged people it was permission to unclench and let a little feeling out.

4) crying is good

Don't stop yourself from crying. Encourage other grieving people to cry. It's obviously fine if you don't feel like crying, but if there are tears anywhere near the surface, don't hold back. It's good for you.

There is, I think, a tendency among both religious and secular groups to try to make death into a happy thing. "He's with the Lord now" or "She had an amazing life and now she's returning to be one with the universe" all Do not stand at my grave and weep style. If that's how things are going in your vicinity, then make sure you clear some space to be actually sad! Do stand at that grave and do weep! It's sad when you lose someone, regardless of how great their life was or whether you believe you'll see them again in the hereafter.

5) make hot meals happen

If you're not in the home of the dying person, then make casseroles for that household. Or if you can't make casseroles then some other heat-uppable thing that can be dumped on a plate or bowl and function as a meal on its own, like lasagna or pot pie or chili or stew. And if you're not in the immediate area, then use a delivery service.

You can contact them to coordinate, but don't make them ask. (If the ill person is part of a religious community or other community organization, there may already be a meal schedule you can join!)

If you're in the household of the dying person, anticipate that cooking is going to be hard immediately before and after the death. Consider pointing friends and family to a website like MealTrain or CareCalendar to ensure your household gets hot meals regularly while they are weighed down by deep grief, providing hospice care, and possibly hosting out-of-town relatives coming in for the funeral.

----

and that's that, Dove's incomplete guide to death!

I'm sorry you're going through this, and sorry for your loved one. Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help.

[waltswhatever]

as much as i hated him, sometimes i really miss my dad on nights like these

for such a long time it felt like he was the only person i could cry in front of and not feel horrible for doing so

my mother doesn't know how to handle me when i'm upset, she kind of just tries to change the subject in an attempt to cheer me up, and i feel so shameful being vulnerable to my boyfriend, i feel like i can't cry in front of him, that i just. shouldn't, that im not allowed to be upset because of how i've hurt him before even if that's not true

i miss you, dad, i'm sorry i spent your final months so angry with you, even if you deserved it

i just want a hug from someone stronger than me again who will lie and tell me it's gonna be okay and that i am pretty and that i'm loved and that i can stay there as long as i need to and that they don't care if im getting their shirt wet

i wish i knew how to have that with mom, i wish i knew how to help her, her coworker feels like her son more than i do, do i get my emotional estrangement from her? why is it so much easier to bond with strangers?

i miss you dad, i miss you, so much

wherever you are i hope you're learning from everything you may and may not have done, and i'm sorry to say i've made some of the same mistakes, but god, i kind of understand now how someone gets to that point - i never told mom, but she found out on her own

how you work on something for years and years and years and you're just not as happy as you make them and you feel like giving up

how your body stops working right all too soon and nothing feels good and your partner tries, but it just isn't enough, and you are so fucking unhappy all the time and it feels like it's all your fault

take me with you, i'm so tired, i wanna go back to my family dammit, i know mom loves me but it's different, we're like ghosts sharing an apartment

i miss my dad so much. i shouldn't but i do, i'm 20 fucking years old, it's been almost 8 years since you died, why does the pain only get worse? anticipatory grief?

where will i go? will i see you, and will we both be suffering if that's where you ended up? would it be worth it to finally see some kind of comfort again after so long, still suffering, but finally with a sense of familiarity and instinctive comfort, or will it just be like looking at a bloated corpse in a wooden box and a funeral that i barely remember all over again?

i'm so tired dad, i'm so tired, please tell me it's going to be okay, somehow, i'm so tired

you said before if someone wants to kill themself, you let them - were you speaking from your experience? would you have said the same if you knew i was suicidal? i don't know if mom ever really talked to you about the cutting, im sorry

you'd be ashamed of me now, i think, i'm nothing like what you expected - not your baby girl, not even a girl, not skinny, not pretty, or traditional at all

please, god, if you somehow saw aunt liz, tell her i miss her and that she always did a great job when i was a kid, that she was so kind to take us in after the fire on such short notice, that she was always so sweet and patient with me, even when i was a brat- i wish covid hadn't robbed me of my goodbye to her

the more i look back on the past the more i realized how much i dealt with so young and why im this damaged - a kid didn't need to go through all of that

i know you guys didn't intend for that, but god, that house was a nightmare

a flea bitten 11 year old kid just running around willy nilly in filth, trying their best to live a normal life, but never really being able to share too much about what's going on at home, being taught that i can't have people over because of the state of the house

it was awful and yet i miss it

a dirty mattress was somehow so comfortable, i wasn't in nearly as much pain as i am these days, i still cried, but eventually i got to fall asleep, at least

i still eat beefaroni straight from the can when i don't want to cook, or just plain cheese - how was scavenging in the filth better than this?

i have so much now and the more i think about it the more it feels like i've just lost everything over time

please, take me with you, i'm so tired, or at least somehow, please, tell me, let me see you again, tell me that it's going to be okay, tell me what to do, you and mom were never the life lesson type but i could really use that right now dad

you were supposed to always be there for me, i know you might not've actually wanted to make me, but everyone said you were a loving father- i still believed it in some ways, even if you weren't always nice to me for my mistakes

i just am so exhausted, you were 63 - how did you manage 3x this amount of life without giving up sooner? did you give up, was it just a really slow death?

i'd rather make it fast than do that, i'm old enough to purchase the means to my end

it'd be so easy to just put one through my head - i bet i could still figure out the safety mechanism without reading the instructions, from what you taught me

i never thought i'd miss the fact that one of my parents tried that hard to bond with me and be somewhat present in my interests

even if it was sick

i'm so pathetic, i'm 20 fucking years old crying about a man nearly a decade dead, it feels like grief never ends

please just give me a sign dad, please

[casspurrjoybell-31]

The Consort's Will - Chapter 26 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Brayden

Distant shouts creep into the soundwaves, hitting my ears in warning.

They are still too faint for Tegan to hear but I know our window of opportunity is running low.

"They're coming," I say.

"We need to leave."

Tegan nods and works to get Kelly on his feet, leaving a small token of privacy while I am forced, once again, to say goodbye.

"Take care of him," my human whispers, his voice on the edge of tears.

"I wouldn't trust him with anyone but you."

"I will, human. I promise. I will see you once again."

I cup his cheeks in my hands and place a single kiss to his lips.

Their warmth spreads over me and in it, all the emotions he reserves for me.

I realize I do not deserve them.

I always believe humans to be weak but my human is the exception.

He loves me with a power far greater than any of my own.

I pull him into me while we kiss, giving him my thoughts in the only way I know how.

When my human breaks our moment of intimacy, he is breathless.

I can feel his desire, his want and it mirrors my own.

I also smell his scent and the aching pain of hunger rumbles through my veins.

"Before you go," he says, grabbing my arm and looking up at me with pleading eyes.

"I have a request of my own."

It's loud enough to pull Tegan's attention to us.

"Change me," my human says.

"Reyo is obsessed with me and it's not just for my blood. He'll keep me no matter what form I'm in but at least if I'm changed, he can no longer use my blood as a serum to kill vampires."

"No, human. I cannot risk it."

"Finn's right," Tegan says, assisting Kelly towards the door and pulling rope from her back pocket to begin tying herself up.

"Reyo won't kill him. Even if he's not human, Reyo's obsession is deeper than that. Even as a vampire, Reyo will want to test Finn's blood, to see what use he will be to the war. He can't kill him, Finn will be indestructible. But at least this way, he won't be the single source used as a weapon against the vampires."

The shouts become louder and I tighten my hands into fists at my sides.

"Are you sure, human? Are you sure this is what you want?"

He nods.

"I'm sure."

I do not think about it.

I cannot.

If I do, I my instincts will go into preservation mode.

My human's blood is the only one that can truly sustain me.

Changing him means a future of unending agony.

Our tie will be severed, his memories erased.

I know he does not think of these things as he makes his request, he simply wants to take charge of his own life.

To no longer be used as a weapon in a war.

I feel his love as I breathe in his sweet scent, allowing my fangs to elongate.

I close my eyes and lean forward, feeling his soft, creamy skin against my lips.

He lets out a cry of pain as they pierce his neck, more harshly than ever before.

Unlike prior feedings, I do not savor the taste.

I gulp his blood down as fast as possible and in exchange, I push my vampiric blood into his system.

The effect my blood has on his cells is immediate.

In seconds he is unconscious, slumping into my arms.

I continue my work and tremble as our bond wanes, growing weaker and weaker before it severs completely.

No longer can I sense his emotions.

No longer can I feel his whereabouts or his experiences.

Now it is nothing but silence, a hallow void that will haunt me for eternity.

I drink from him our memories, his emotions and his human essence.

I unapologetically indulge, becoming drunk on his blood for the last time.

In exchange, I give him immortality and a brand-new life.

A life without me.

It is this sobering thought that causes a foreign feeling to creep up my throat, forming a single tear at the corner of my eye.

My human will not remember me or this act of self-sacrifice I am giving to him.

I will be the one to carry our memories and our story, fighting for him in the shadows for years to come.

But in the end, our fates play out the way they were always meant to.

Instead of my human making a final sacrifice for us, it is now my turn to make a final sacrifice for him.

For my Consort.

My Consort's Will.