#instead of telling myself the lie of 'oh I want something I enjoy and which makes me move in general' (e.g. dance of some sort)
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"yeah, the beginning of my period is always bothersome, but definitely not debilitating" says person who has to skip a full day of lessons every month and who was full on crying and sobbing from pain this entire morning
#and! This time around I also got my lower back locked a few days right before it started?? What the hell??? 😭#I need to find some regular physical activity to do and go back to be more regular with my magnesium supplements :/#perhaps I should really start to hit the gym in a 'go and get a workout to follow by some professional' kinda way? :/#that'd probably be the most efficient way to keep all my body muscles in check I guess#instead of telling myself the lie of 'oh I want something I enjoy and which makes me move in general' (e.g. dance of some sort)#which I'm also doing btw but I think maybe a targetting thing could be nice as well? (+ it'd basically be someone telling me what to do)#(So I'd get a sense of routine and also I should learn to be a bit more comfortable with being out in public doing my own thing)#my post
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Smut, threesome, blowjob, deepthroat, pussy eating, face fucking, squirting
Continuation and part 2 of Best Lollipop Ever!
Enjoy!!!
Y/n’s POV
After that amazing “game” I played with Wendy, I decided to head into my room to chill and wait for my turn to take a shower. I get on my phone and decided to check out Wendy’s friends. And my god are they really something. I wait for a few more minutes for Wendy to finish then get up to grab myself a towel and-
“Hey dumbass! Go take a shower, you stink.” She says after she opens my door and peaks her head in.
“My friends are coming over in a few minutes.” She leaves and heads downstairs. She really does get annoying sometimes, but anyway I’m gonna head over to the shower.
15 minutes later
Just finished up and wrapped myself in a towel. I make my way downstairs to grab a drink but then got stopped by someone who spotted me.
“Mmm who’s that hottie Wendy?” The tall girl with long black hair and bangs asked. I see Wendy’s friends and herself as she looks at me with an annoyed look.
“Really!? Y/n go put some fucking clothes on!” She throws the cushions at me but I catch them all and throw them back on the couch.
“Okay okay I will now stop.” I put the cushions back. I smile as I look at the girls and introduce myself. “Hey there ladies, I’m Y/n, and welcome to our wonderful home.” I say and Wendy rolls her eyes.
“Guys this is my dumbass brother Y/n, Y/n this is Irene, Seulgi, Yeri and Joy.” She introduced them and I come over to shake there hand. They all smile except for Irene. She kinda looks annoyed by me too but, oh well, she’s hot too.
Wendy gets more annoyed and pulls me upstairs and tells me to put some clothes on. “Ugh, okay okay I will!”
Joy’s POV
“Wendy, your brother is hot!” I couldn��t get his muscular body and handsome face out of my head. Wendy rolls her eyes.
“Eww, no he’s not.” She says as we all head to the couch and sit down then turn in the tv.
“Yes he is! Do you think so too Seulgi?” Yeri asked her after agreeing with me. Seulgi looks up and nods as she bits her lip a little and blushes.
“I can’t lie Wendy, he is.” She admitted and Wendy rolls her eyes in disgust. “What do you think of him Irene?” She asks and Irene doesn’t say anything as she wasn’t interested. She shakes her head and gets up.
“Let’s make something to eat instead of talking about her brother.” Irene says as she walks of with Wendy and Seulgi. Yeri and I just continue to watch but then a thought came into my head. Do you know what it is? Yep, Y/n. His body, his abs, his face. Fuck it’s getting me so wet. I get up and look over at Yeri as she watches.
“I’ll be using the bathroom.” I tell her and she nods as she focuses on the tv. I make my way up the stairs and sneak my way to find Y/n’s room which I did as his door was a little open. I quietly tippy toed my way over and take a peak inside and there he was. Damn! Look at that body.
I keep watching and bite my lip. Oh my! He’s gonna drop his towel! He slowly takes it off and drops it. Oh. My. Fucking. God! H-his cock is fucking huge as well. Fuck, now I’m more wet! Oh fuck this, I can need to get a closer look.
Y/n’s POV
I drop my towel but then heard my door shut. I turn around and see Joy as she entered my room and looks at me but specifically at my bottom half. I quickly try my best to cover my cock but was slowly getting hard as I look at her sexy outfit and body as well as her beautiful face.
“W-what are you doing here!?” I say nervously as I see her bite her lip and slowly walk over to me. She doesn’t say a word as she walks up closer and closer in front of me.
“Holy fuck you’re huge! And fucking hot!” She finally looks at me and tries to move my hand but I stopped her.
“Joy stop!” I tell her as I didn’t want anyone to find her here in my room.
“Oh come on, your cock is so big. Let me see.” She moves my hand and grabs onto my shaft with one hand to get a feel. I couldn’t stop her and let out a soft moan. “So… thick… so warm.” She looks at my cock then gets onto her knees for a better view.
“J-Joy they might be looking for you.” I try to get her to stop. I can’t lie, this is fucking hot. My tip is literally near her face.
“No they won’t, and besides, I know you’re liking this.” She smirked. “You got a girlfriend?” She looks up at me seductively as she slowly strokes my now hard cock. I shake my head and she bites her lip even more.
“Good.” Is what she said and wastes no time and takes my cock into her warm and hot mouth. Fuck! Am I in heaven?
Third Person POV
Y/n leans his head back in pleasure as Joy works her magic down on his shaft. She takes his length out of her mouth, then spits onto his cock and strokes him, making sure she covers your whole cock with it.
“Mmm you like that Y/n?” She winks and smirks as she slaps his tip onto her tongue. She continues her work blowing his hard cock whilst playing with his balls. She was loving every single second of this. Y/n decided to make sure the opportunity doesn’t slip away and grabs a fistful of her hair, making a ponytail and face fucks his cock into her welcoming mouth. Meanwhile downstairs, Yeri noticed Joy was taking a little too long in the ‘bathroom’ and gets up to look for her. She makes her way upstairs and sees that the bathroom was not closed. She was a little confused but then heard a gagging sound and some words. She follows the sound which lead to Y/n’s room door and listens in.
“Mmm f-fuck… y-your c-cock… is huge!” She hears Joy as well as slight moans from Y/n. She bites her lip knowing what they were doing and slowly trails her hand into her pants and rubs herself, slowly becoming wet from what she was hearing in the room. Joy was loving the reactions from Y/n and pushed him onto the bed to sit down and get in between his legs. They both hear the door open and pull away from each other quickly as they panicked. In comes Yeri, she makes sure to close the door and looks at the both of them as they were caught in the act.
“I fucking knew it! You got to taste him before me?!” She looked upset that Joy got to him first, but also turned on by the sight she was seeing. “Oh well, now it’s my turn to show him I can do better.” She licks her lips and pushes Y/n back onto the bed. Joy rolls her eyes after Yeri’s comments and watches as she blew on his cock. “Mmm Y/n, you’re so big in my mouth.” She she spits onto his cock and keeps up the work on him. Joy gets a little jealous and tells Yeri to move aside. Yeri pulls away as she looks at Joy.
“Fuck off, he’s mine!” Joy looks at her with a glare which Y/n found hot.
Yeri laughs as if she said a joke. “He’s not yours, he’s mine! He clearly loves having my mouth on his cock more than yours!” She argued back. Y/n decided to step in and make sure nothing goes further.
“Okay guys, calm down.” They both look at him. “Look, there’s no need to fight okay? There’s one of me, and two of you, so how about we have some fun all together?” He suggested and they look at him before looking back at each other. They think about it for a bit and smirked as they nodded and both began to take his cock together. Y/n was on cloud nine as he had two beautiful girls sharing his cock.
They both take turns taking his cock, while the other sucks on his balls. Their moans fill the room as it starts to get all hot. They both pull away and smirk as they stood up and start to strip each other naked in front of him. Y/n was absolutely loving the view of their bodies and rubs his hands all over them. One playing with Joy’s nicely shaped ass, and the other playing with Yeri’s perfectly shaped tits. They loved what he was doing then both lay next to each other on the bed and spread their legs.
“Come on Y/n, we know you’re really hungry.” They both say as they gesture Y/n to come over. He smirks and gets down on his knees, rubbing both of their wet pussies. They moan out together and smile as they feel his gentle fingers rubbing them. Y/n leans down and dives in to get a taste of both of them. Yeri rubs Joy’s clit as he gets eaten out by Y/n, making her moan out loud. “M-mmm f-fuck yes! Just like that!” Joy moans out and grabs onto Y/n’s hair. Eventually, Y/n will finally switch and give Yeri what she was patiently waiting for.
“Fuckmefuckmefuckme! Yess Y/n!” She was basically screaming out his name as he devoured her pussy while Joy returned the favour by rubbing her clit and also kissing her neck and whispering dirty things into her ear which was turning her on even more. Y/n was loving how crazy they were getting as he eats out the both of them.
“Ahhh fuck I’m gonna cum!” Yeri yells out.
“F-fuck me too!” Joy also yells out. They both rub each other’s clit and felt a special feeling in their stomach and squirt all over the bed as well as cum into Y/n’s mouth. They were both satisfied and try to catch their breath as they sit up.
“You’re so fucking good Y/n, but now it’s time that we return the favour. We both want to taste that fucking cum of yours.” Joy smirks and Yeri nods in agreement.
“So lay down and let us help you.” Yeri seductively whispers into his ear which sent chills down his spine, as he listened to her words. He lays down and they both connect their lips together with his tip in between them, making out with each other as they sandwich his cock with their mouths. He holds onto the back of their heads as they both give the same amount of pleasure he gave to them. He moans out and watches as they both take turns, taking him deep into their throats.
“F-fuck you guys are so fucking hot!” He moans. “Suck that cock! And I want you both to swallow both my load.” His words turns them on even more as they do their job more intensely. He let’s them know that he’s close, and they pull okay as they both stroke his cock and open their mouth while making eye contact with their best friend’s brother.
“Cum for us Y/n! Give us your load and put it down our throats.” Yeri seductively winks at him. He grips the sheets hard as he felt so much pleasure than ever in his life before. They move in closer as Y/n’s load shoots into Joy’s mouth then Yeri’s shortly after. They smile and look at him as they open their mouths and stick their tongues out, showing the load then close them as they both swallow it all and show him that there was nothing left. Y/n was beyond satisfied by the two girls and smiles as he tries to catch his breath. Yeri and Joy both pull each other into a deep and hot make out which made Y/n want to join in. He grabs the girls and pulls them both beside him and takes turns making out with them both.
“Never did I ever think that I’d find myself getting lucky with two of the most sexy and beautiful girls I’ve seen.” He looks at them both as they blush and giggle.
“I’m glad we came over. This was definitely the best day of my life.” Joy smiles and kisses onto his neck.
“It sure was. Fuck Y/n, you got to have the best cock we’ve ever seen.” Yeri does the same on the other side of his neck. Y/n closes his eyes as he loved the feeling of their lips on his neck. A few minutes later the door opens and they all jump and cover themselves with the covers, and heart beating fast. The door slowly opens up and Seulgi’s head peaks in and her eyes widened as she gasps out loud, cover her mouth with her hands as she was shock at the scene.
“Seulgi, move! What is it that made you-.” She turns her head and sees her two friends and Y/n all in the bed together… naked. Her eyes widened as she was also in shock seeing them. The three gulped as they thought they were done for.
“W-what the fuck is going on here!” Irene glares at them all.
To be continued.
Hope you guys enjoyed pt. 2
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A Revealing Conversation
Lucifer
I don't know what exactly prompts me to do this, but I find myself walking inside the library with a cup of coffee in my hand. The door to the attached study is slightly ajar. Poking my head in reveals Zephyr fast asleep with their head resting on top of the desk. Setting the mug down on an empty spot on the desk, I touch their shoulder and gently shake it, successfully waking them up.
"What time is it?" they ask, rubbing the sleepiness out of their eyes.
"Eight," I respond."
"Morning?"
"Yes. I brought you coffee." Zephyr gives me a quizzical look. "I made a pot for myself, and I didn't want it to go to waste." A partial lie, but I don't want them teasing me if they knew the truth: that I intentionally made enough for the two of us to share.
"Thanks." They take a sip of the coffee, making a face as soon as the beverage hits their tongue.
Which is odd. I don't recall burning it.
"Oh, don't mind me," Zephyr tells me, setting the mug back down. "Some blends of Devildom coffee tend to be too bitter for my taste. I do appreciate you grabbing me a cup, though. It'll definitely help me feel more awake." They pause briefly. "Just out of curiosity, what did you use this morning?"
"Something called hell coffee, I believe? The person that helped me pick it out at the store said that it's rather strong, so I figured that meant it had a decent amount of caffeine in it."
"I see." They look slightly amused as they pick the mug up again. The next thing I know, they're downing the coffee like it was a shot.
Which I've only seen Diavolo do. It's not like I've done it.
Another lie. Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Zephyr softly smiles, appearing to pick up on my confusion.
"Someday, you'll understand why I did that, but for now, just know that some of the foods and drinks around here are laced with magic." Before I can tell them off for being vague, they turn their attention towards the biggest stack of paperwork and begin working through it. I should take that as my cue to leave them alone so that they can focus on what Diavolo assigned them.
But I don't. I can't.
I quietly sit down in one of the chairs across from them and watch them work for a moment. They seem poised, even when doing something this menial.
Even when punishing my brothers. How can they remain so composed when I want to scream and bang my head against the wall?
It just isn't fair.
"Something on your mind?" Zephyr asks, glancing up at me. If it weren't for the genuine curiosity in their eyes, I would've simply brushed them off by saying I was simply staring off into space or something.
Instead, I ask them,
"How can you stay calm in all this chaos?"
"Years of practice," they answer, still focused on their paperwork. "And knowing that there will always be quiet periods where I can decompress."
"What about in the moment, when you're confronted with it and can't escape it?"
"Well, that's when I start cursing to myself. The key with dealing with chaos is to not let your frustrations show. If the people around you sense that you're upset, then they're more likely to reflect those emotions back at you, making everything that much more tedious to slog through."
"What would you call last night, then?" Zephyr appears to contemplate my question as they continue working.
"Karma." In an attempt to hold back laughter, I end up going into a coughing fit.
"Hold your arms up," they instruct. "It'll relax the muscles enough for you to breathe properly." Surprisingly, their advice works.
"Better?" I nod my head. What I feel to be an awkward silence settles between us, but given their peaceful demeanor, it's probably just me.
"You can stay if you want, Lucifer. I don't mind your presence. We can continue talking, or you can simply enjoy the quiet if that's what you'd prefer."
"How are you not scared of me?" The question slips out of my mouth before I can stop myself.
"Pardon?" Zephyr's giving me their full attention now. I shouldn't have said anything.
Because now I can't hold back anymore.
"Most people either see me as a heartless monster or put me on this ridiculously high pedestal. They get so nervous around me that they can't even string two words together, let alone have a proper conversation with me. I wish I can say that my brothers are exceptions to that, but I can't. I still see the fear in their eyes sometimes when they look at me. The only way I've been able to have some degree of companionship is with those in the same position of authority as me, and even then they have to get used to me first before they feel comfortable around me.
"I think you might just be the first to see me as a normal person. Even Diavolo looks at me like I'm a shiny new toy, and he's the closest thing I have to a friend in this godforsaken place. I just don't understand how a previously low-ranking demon is able to do the one thing no one else has been able to do in my entire existence. What do you have that they don't?"
Zephyr sets their pen down. I wouldn't be surprised if they told me to leave. I just dumped a whole lot of trauma on their lap without seeing if they were okay with it.
"Many years ago, I met someone that was pretty similar to you," they respond. "He intimidated everyone they came into contact with due to both his attitude and position. He also tended to push anyone that wanted to get close to him away. I didn't let him do that to me. Even when he screamed at me to go away, I stubbornly stuck around. After a while, he decided that he might as well trust me if I was that determined to stay by his side, and he did. It didn't happen all at once, but little by little, he allowed me to see the more vulnerable, intimate sides of him that he previously kept to himself.
"So, to answer your question, Lucifer, I'd like to think I have a pretty decent amount of patience and compassion. Certainly more than a lot of people in this world."
"Do you still keep in contact with him?" I ask after several moments of silence. The question seems to make Zephyr a bit sad.
"Unfortunately, no. I was forced to move far away from him and assume a new identity. To reach back out to him would put both of us in harm's way, and I care too much about him to do that to him."
"Do you love him?" They don't answer me initially. "I understand if you don't want to tell me. I'm probably overstepping my boundaries--"
"Yes." They look directly into my eyes. "I miss him every single day. If circumstances were different, I would have married him and spent the rest of my life with him. But that simply isn't possible."
"Zephyr, I--"
"It's not your fault, Lucifer. You didn't know." They softly smile. "I've learned a long time ago to not dwell too much on the past, because then you end up missing out on the present, which is chock full of fun and exciting opportunities. Instead, it's best to think of the past as lessons that you've learned, and to use that knowledge to help you grow and develop as a person. Does that make sense?"
Before I can respond to them, someone loudly knocks on the front door. Zephyr hits the power button on their phone to check the time.
"Son of a bitch," they mutter.
"What?" I ask.
"Oh, I told Solomon to pick me up at around nine so that I can drop stuff off at home before we run some errands. It's just that I hoped to be more or less ready to go when he arrived."
"I'm sorry, Zephyr. If I'd known you were expecting him--"
"It's quite alright!" they exclaim. "No need to apologize. I enjoyed talking to you."
Has the study always been this warm, or is it just me?
"I'll at least help you gather your stuff." Zephyr smiles.
"That'd be lovely, Lucifer. Thank you."
Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr
#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me mc#obey me lucifer#two things#one#the person that zephyr/mc is referring to is the lucifer from their timeline#that's part of why they look directly at past!lucifer when they answer his question#two#past!lucifer is TOTALLY blushing at the end
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Just a little idea that popped into my head while I was trying to sleep. And while I love reading reader x single dad! fics as someone who doesn't want kids I just feel it's not something I've come across in fics yet (it probably has been done and if you have any recs please send them my way)
Also this drifted away from my original idea and I'm too lazy to correct it so please enjoy whatever this has turned into.
"And then Ella" Steve was replaying the story animatedly across the table from her. They were on a first date, after having bumped into him at the grocery store last week where he had surprised her by asking her out.
"Sorry you've lost me, who's Ella" she asks, interrupting him but it was hard to follow the story when she had no idea who she was. She had figured she was another friend or something as it was the first time her name had been mentioned all night where as she'd heard all about the kids he used to babysit, his best friend Robin and the metalhead who had been adopted into the group but Ella was new.
Steve's face fell and she worried her question had upset him, had he already talked about her tonight and she'd missed it so now it had come across as she hadn't been listening. Oh god, it had been going so well and now she'd messed it up with one simple question.
"Have I not told you? I could've sworn I told you?" He asked, there was no accusations in his tone. Instead, he sounded more confused. She shook her head in answer to his questions and he sighed, "I could've, it's the first thing I tell people, how could I have not mentioned her" he was muttering more to himself than her.
She offered him what she hoped was a reassuring smile as she reached across the table to rest her hand over the top of his where at some point he'd clenched his napkin in his fist. He looked up at her touch, "it's okay you don't have to tell me if you don't want to" she reassured him. It may have been a first date but he didn't have to tell her his whole life story in one go, she hoped there'd be a few more where they could learn more about each other.
"No, she's someone I like to be up front about, I need to know before I get involved with anyone so they don't freak out and leave when they do eventually find out and then I'm left picking up the pieces" he explains and her heart bleeds for him, thinking about Steve thinking everything is going well only to be left picking the pieces of his heart up after they leave but she also can't help the anxious feeling building inside of her.
"Ella's my daughter"
Her face falls as soon as the words slip past his lips, a reaction she's quick to cover but not quick enough as Steve sees.
"I know it's a lot to take in especially when we're just getting to know each other that's why I like to make it known straight off the bat but tonight, I don't know I guess I just got so caught up in the excitement of being here with you that I forgot and that sounds terrible that I'm admitting to forgetting my own daughter but it's been a while since I've actually been excited for a date and well you've made me feel like a teenager again which I guess is why" he rambles, his eyes closing as he rubs his fingers against his temples before he looks back at her. "Please say something, even if it's just to tell me I'm an idiot" he all but pleads.
"Steve" she whispers. Her mind is going at a million miles a minute as she processes his confession and her own feelings. "I don't know, I really wasn't expecting to be discussing kids on a first date" she admits, "but since we're being up front then I can't lie but kids have never really been in my plans for the future and I know your not asking anything from me right now but I've enjoyed myself tonight and I really want to see where this goes but," she pauses glancing at Steve and she can tell that he's expecting her to tell him that she doesn't want to be with someone who already has a kid and the acceptance of it is written all over his face which is heartbreaking because he deserves love she's just not sure if she's the one.
"If this did progress, if we did get together I just don't know if I'd fit your expectations or even hers" she admits, already feeling like she'd be a disappointment to the both of them when she couldn’t fill the mother roll that she thought he was expected her to fill. "I just don't want it to get to the point where we realise that maybe it won't work and then we're left as you say picking up the pieces" she finishes with a sniffle, god please don't let her cry.
And Steve, wonderful Steve, leans even further across the table, his large palm cupping her cheek as a small smile graces his lips. "I have no expectations, this would be new for both of us as its only ever been me and her for the longest time, all I need to know is if you'd be willing to try, take things slow until we figure out us and then when you're ready then we introduce Ella, we could just even say your a friend if that makes you more comfortable" he tries and she melts under his touch, his gaze.
"I'm terrible with kids" she adds, giving him one last out to change his mind but he just chuckles.
"They're a learning curve, trust me but she's a good kid" he promises with a nod that somehow has her feeling at ease. Kids may have not been in her plan for the future but maybe one wouldn't be so bad.
#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington oneshot#steve harrington blurb#steve harrington angst#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things
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I kinda wanna get something off my chest before the new year that's been weighing on me heavily, and it's that some people on here are not the "spread kindness and community uwu" sweethearts they want you to believe they are.
some people on here will act absolutely repugnant when anonymous is on or when they think they can make a billion empty side blogs because the moderation for harassment here sucks ass. case in point I've personally been getting harassed since fucking august by a specific person but I keep it to myself because I know nobody gives a fuck about it and doesn't wanna see that bs all over their dash. I just block the ips and delete the asks every time but it's infuriating seeing that person pop up so many other peoples asses as this "oh I'm so kind and love everyone in my fandoms" type when I know in my guts that's such a bold faced lie.
if you genuinely think it's okay to hide behind a grey pic or a sock puppet account to send suicide bait, bully, mock, and degrade someone else you need to take a hard look at who you really are inside in the new year because you have some type of rot in you im not joking. idk it's been becoming a heavy burden dealing with this silently especially because it's about to be 2024 and part of me genuinely thinks this incredibly unwell person will continue the behavior which is seriously insane, it's hands down nuts to fixate on someone for almost five months and I can't even begin to tell you how it just wears you down consistently getting msgs like that especially when you haven't done anything to warrant that treatment. cardi b said I got condos in this bitch head well im beyond condos I'm the sole fucking real estate developer in this bitches head and I do not enjoy it.
I try so hard to be a truly positive person. I try hard to mind my own damn business and not bother anyone. I try very very hard to make my blog a nice space. I'd like to continue doing that but christ some people really make it so incredibly difficult and that contributes to the overall shitty behavior in fandoms.
anyways it's nice to let that out, for once instead of sitting here with it and feeling those little wriggles of dread every time I open the app.
if you've engaged in behavior like that towards anyone this past year though I highly recommend making a resolution of self reflection and learning some basic compassion, or at the very least taking stock of yourself and considering getting some irl help because idk what to say other than it is, in fact, not normal to treat people like that and it does not make you a good person.
#idk im someone who very much tries to be the bigger person & just move on and not let things bug me#but this has really really bothered me bad#like ive cried my eyes out opening some particularly cruel msgs before#shit that i wouldn't send to someone i genuinely hated#and its beyond goofy to do this to each other bc on this lame ass app nothing is that serious#genuinely it isn't I cant think of one single thing someone on here could do that would make me behave that way#but if ur gonna spout treat people with kindness you need to fucking stand on it and understand what that really looks like#instead of doing weird ass two faced bullshit with people
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Hi, it's controversial opinion anon... thank you for answering my ask and thank you to everyone in the comments as well for trying to make sense of everything! I took a step back after reading through the responses and went like "yeah why even talk about this, it's just confusing everyone and helping no one and I'm personally insecure about this too (which is why I'm on anon) and maybe Tumblr isn't the best place to discuss something like neurodivergence/mental illness x spiritual realm in-depth".
And then I saw the following art just casually appear on my dash - it's a religiously connotated dark figure with red eyes, originally from an artist who says it's based on an experience with schizophrenia. Just...like that. Normalized. Completely normal. I'm sure they're a random, wonderful human being who just enjoy making awesome stuff on Tumblr. Still I went like NOPE.
https://www.tumblr.com/comikbook/762444161315160064/buy-liz-a-coffee-ko-ficomlizpenceart
Like, you can't rule it out. You can't say it's not related, imo. People are tormented by spirits and are calling it clinically depressed, having hallucinations, having hormone imbalances or whatever.
@/marietheran wondered in the previous replies what kind of definition I have of the spirit vs. the mind. Well, to me, only two spirits exist: The Holy Spirit and worldly spirits. There is no inbetween. The human mind decides on a daily basis by which one of them it wants to rule/be ruled. And based on that, humans get blessed or cursed. It's very black-and-white, I know, but that's God vs. the devil for you. Under man's free will, this stuff mingles. Gets gray. Neutral. Obscured. Normal. Normalized. Luke-warm. Almost like a lie. Jesus defeated this stuff, yet we are plagued by such things. It's a fallen world. But I say we still accept wayyyyy too much of this shit to rule our lives instead of throwing it out by Jesus' name.
Now to tread carefully and respond to your own comments.
'what the hell xD you're telling me the fact that I'm autistic is demon possession?'
I don't know you. Or your life. I don't want to insult or scare you, and since - like I said - I have no trustworthy knowledge of the spiritual dimension myself, I just can't know what is or isn't and I won't assume. What I do know is that it's the result of a curse, since it inevitably brings you some blessings (making you who you are), but the downsides are just so so so not worth it. You deserve a better identity, a way of loving yourself that doesn't want to end you. You deserve abundant life, not the thief who comes to kill, steal, and destroy trying to take your life.
If you think the language (oh no! I said curse!) is too strong, see how in Maleachi 3:9 God says that the people are under a curse for not tithing. Zechariah 5:3 says that the people are cursed for stealing and swearing falsely, and it has real consequences like "being banished from the land". "And my curse will remain in that house and completely destroy it." (Verse 4). Curses are everywhere where sin is, even "small" or "socially acceptable" sins are destructive. God will destroy an entire house for "just" stealing...!! Stealing doesn't sound that bad, but the consequences ARE that bad!!
'>could be an ancestor's sin I swear there's a verse to combat that.'
Yep, there is, but look at its development.
Exodus 34:7 says "I lay the sins of the parents upon their children & grandchildren [...] til the third and fourth generations."
Then Jeremiah 31:29 says "the people will no longer quote this proverb: The parents have eaten sour grapes, but their children's mouths pucker at the taste."
Ezekiel 18 (whole chapter): "Why do you still quote this proverb? [...] You will not quote this proverb anymore in Israel. [Only] The person who sins is the one who will die."
Then you have the last supper, where Jesus passes around a cup of wine to his disciples in remembrance of his sacrifice -> drinking the cup/spilling his blood for us.
And finally, John 19:30 says "When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said "It is finished". And bowing his head, he yielded up his spirit."
ISN'T THIS AMAZING???? Jesus drank the bitter cup of generational curses for us!!!! He said "It is finished!" !!!!!! Then why are we still suffering?????????
Somehow - and I am treading carefully here, since I DO believe in the finished work of Jesus Christ - there seems to be the need to actively renounce such curses in the present even though everything has already been paid for. We are still supposed to take the last supper in the present as well, aren't we? It wasn't a one-time thing. Idk it seems to be a lifestyle thing. We are still called to behave according to God's will even though every and any trespass has been forgiven. We're still supposed to act like God's children and abide by his laws in our daily lives. So - somehow - and this is the bit that confuses me as well - curses, too, still need breaking today.
How? Maaaaaaan do I look like I know how? Jesus' name. Idk.
How does this not spin us back into a vicious Old-Testament cycle of "do bad or do good and reap the consequences" instead of resting in the amazing grace of Jesus' work on the cross? I don't know.
The thought of a daily battle can be burdening. That's at least what it does to me. How do I not constantly curse myself and my children with my bad behavior, which is, alas, still here?
How do I cure my family from curses that came into effect three or four generations ago, which I might not even know about?
The best approaches I currently have are these: A friend (from those charismatic evangelicals I've talked about) said that once you've been set free, you don't really desire to return to a sinful lifestyle. So the need to break bad stuff of someone again becomes a lot less.
Another thing could be that Idk, Jesus sets someone free from a smoking addiction in an instant, so that they don't desire it anymore, but that person still needs to break their daily habits (buying cigarettes, carrying a lighter, taking smoking breaks, associating with smokers) themselves. They need to go actively walk in their freedom.
There is something about this. There is something to this. To break the above mentioned curse from a house, you apparently need a stronger man to throw him out and to continuously be on guard (Luke 11:21-28). Let's learn how to throw the murdering thief out of our houses, out of our minds and bodies, which are God's temples.
I want to crack the principles that dictate the spiritual realm without fearmongering that we could return to a Old-Testament way of thinking. We haven't earned grace, we are set free by Jesus' mercy. But then somehow we have to fight to go take (and keep!) the benefits as well.
I don't get it myself, I want to be very open about that. But I wanted to plant it in your awareness. As a thought to maybe pursue. There is nothing I want more for you than to find relief from your situation as well. I'm done talking now. :)
People are tormented by spirits and are calling it clinically depressed, having hallucinations, having hormone imbalances or whatever.
Why do you say it's spirits?
What I do know is that it's the result of a curse, since it inevitably brings you some blessings (making you who you are), but the downsides are just so so so not worth it. You deserve a better identity, a way of loving yourself that doesn't want to end you. You deserve abundant life, not the thief who comes to kill, steal, and destroy trying to take your life.
The fact that I'm autistic has nothing to do with the fact that I want to kill myself. I think your generalisation of autism as a Curse is... problematic. It's a disorder, sure. It's disabling, to a greater or lesser extent. Many people can be happy with it, though.
ISN'T THIS AMAZING???? Jesus drank the bitter cup of generational curses for us!!!! He said "It is finished!" !!!!!! Then why are we still suffering?????????
Sin, honey. The reason we're still suffering is sin and living in a fallen world. The world is still fallen even though Christ came. "To live is Christ and to die is gain."
The best approaches I currently have are these: A friend (from those charismatic evangelicals I've talked about) said that once you've been set free, you don't really desire to return to a sinful lifestyle.
Mmmm I'm hesitant to agree with this because of the power of addictions.
I don't get it myself, I want to be very open about that. But I wanted to plant it in your awareness. As a thought to maybe pursue. There is nothing I want more for you than to find relief from your situation as well. I'm done talking now. :)
Feel free to come back into my inbox and ramble more, but I really do think this conversation is best served by you - idk, making a sideblog - and having a conversation rather than sending essays into my inbox. To be clear, I don't mind that at all. I just think it would be more productive to discuss in a more conversation manner than slabs of text like this - also easier to find the rest of the conversation.
tagging @marietheran bc mentioned
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Flufftober Day 22
AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50489362/chapters/128969104
Summary: Sonic enjoys the ease at which he can pick Knuckles up as a werehog. He doesn't expect Knuckles to be able to do the same.
Pairing: Sonic the Hedgehog/Knuckles the Echidna
Warnings: None
Word Count: ~900 words
AN: Based in the same au as these doodles from this post- https://www.tumblr.com/midnightshard06/730864248738217984/so-my-brain-decided-to-oh-so-helpfully-have-me?source=share
@flufftober
“Could you put me down.” Knuckles glared at a recently transformed werehog Sonic.
Sonic gave him a grin. “I could.”
The two stared at each other for a few moments. Sonic could tell Knuckles was getting more and more annoyed the longer the silence stretched on. Not like it was hard to tell what the echidna was feeling; it was something Sonic really liked about the guy. He found it hard to read people sometimes, downside of being alone most of his life, but he could alway tell how Knuckles felt. “You’re not going to put me down are you?” Knuckles’ glare deepened.
“You only asked if I could, not if I would.” Sonic grinned slyly, but decided to put him down anyway. “Next time just say what you want.”
Knuckles crossed his arms. “You know exactly what I meant mutt. You just choose to do that on purpose.”
“Do what on purpose?” Sonic gave him an innocent look.
The echidna looked like he was about to shout but instead he sighed heavily and walked past Sonic. “Whatever, let’s just find a place to camp for the night and then you can go run off some energy. Unless there’s any of those monsters around?” He looked back at Sonic.
Sonic pinned his ears down and shook his head. “Nah, I got nothing.”
“Of course.” Knuckles huffed. “Come on.” He gestured for him to follow and Sonic did so without complaint for now. It didn’t take long to find a suitable place for camp, and it took even less time to prep the area. The two didn’t really carry camping supplies with them; they’d never really needed them. Sonic had been roughing it pretty much his whole life and Knuckles had lived on an apparently floating island where he didn’t really have any sort of home. “Alright, go run around or whatever you do.” Knuckles waved him off as he leaned against a tree and hung his hat on a low branch. Shrugging Sonic did just that. He let his mind sort of blank as he ran around, he was aware enough to keep an eye out for anyone else who might be around but he wasn’t really taking in the surroundings. He didn’t stay out too long despite the shorter run not doing too much to get rid of the energy running through him, but he’d been feeling sort of on edge when he was away from Knuckles lately. He had no idea why though, maybe because of the weird magical connection thing.
As he arrived back at camp he noticed that Knuckles was now sitting at the base of the tree he’d been leaning against with his eyes closed, but Sonic could tell he wasn’t asleep. Smiling to himself he went over and plopped down on the echidna’s lap. Knuckles startled, looking ready to punch something, until he registered it was just Sonic. “Back already?” Knuckles didn’t sound upset like Sonic thought he would at the blatant invasion of his personal space, if Sonic didn’t know better he’d think the echidna sounded concerned.
“Eh, just didn’t wanna risk drawing attention to myself is all.” Sonic did his best to shrug and not look at Knuckles in the eyes. If he did, the echidna would probably see through the poor lie.
Now Sonic expected Knuckles to either give up and let him stay where he was or wiggle out from underneath him. What he had not been expecting however was for him to feel Knuckles put his hands underneath him and lift him off the ground. Sonic looked down at Knuckles, the echidna glared up at him. He didn’t seem to really be struggling with the weight at all. Sonic felt his face flush slightly; he knew Knuckles was strong but he’d never tried to lift Sonic before. “Uuuuuh.” Sonic’s brain felt like it had sort of short circuited. Like one of Tails’ inventions if the fox wired them wrong.
Without warning Knuckles threw him onto his back. Sonic collided with a solid thump and just stared at the sky in shock for a while, his brain trying to catch up with what had happened. Before he could try and get up Knuckles appeared in his vision, arms crossed. “Wrestle with me, or I’ll do that again.”
“You can lift me?” Was the first thought Sonic could get out of his mouth.
Knuckles actually briefly chuckled at that. “I could carry you around like you do to me if you weren’t bigger than me like this.”
“Ah.” Sonic looked away, his face was hot.
“Hey focus. Wrestle with me.” Knuckles grunted.
Sonic looked back at him. “Wait, why?”
“If you don’t want to deal with that extra energy yourself then I will. I’d like to actually get some sleep tonight.” Knuckles narrowed his eyes.
That was actually kinda thoughtful, even if Knuckles was framing it as doing it for his own benefit. Sonic grinned and wrapped his arms around Knuckles before lifting him up again. The echidna struggled in his grasp. “How are you gonna do that if I can just pick you up like this?”
“You’re insufferable.” Knuckles growled.
“Yet you still tolerate me.” Sonic held him out, his hands under Knuckles’ armpits.
“Only because I have to mutt.” Knuckles frowned, but Sonic could tell he didn’t mean that.
“Sure sure.” Sonic hummed. “But alright, let’s see what you got.”
#flufftober2023#day 22#sonic the hedgehog#sonic fandom#knuckles the echidna#sonic the werehog#sonknux#ao3 link#sonic au#bound by fate au
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alright believe it or not but im once again at work (saturday night shift) and imma try my hand at the secretary thing. first person POV bc we're experimenting.
Just when has my life become so lame? It's saturday night, I should be out, checking out that newly opened club with my girlfriends. Instead I'm at work. Yep! Me! Blood of the Lannisters! At work. I know.
Last chance to do something with your life, my father said, as he pulled the strings to land me this position. You might know him as Robert Baratheon, the founder of Storm Industries.
You better be choking on his dick by the end of this month or else we're all screwed, my mother helpfully instructed me as to the extent of my duties. You may know her as Cersei, the self-appointed Queen Bee of Upper East.
The Queen suffers no competition, which is how I ended up as a secretary for Mr Stark, a.k.a. the Ice Wolf - the C.E.O. of Storm Industries and the hottest DILF of Wall Street, fuck him very much. My mother hates his wife with passion and having me seduce him is her idea of revenge.
I mean, I've done worse things.
It is saturday night, but if he's still working then that means I'm still working too. From my vantage point behind my desk I can see him clearly, as he's strolling around his office and tossing papers around. His form fitting suit is slightly disheveled at this hour, the white collar popped open. H's wearing designer glasses - he says they prevent his eyes from tiring when he's working late and I have no idea what the glasses actually do but they make him look sexy as hell. I mean he is that. Sexy as hell. I've been staring at him for the past hour, all secretary work long forgotten.
Unfortunately none of my seduction tactics seem to work on him. Three entire months of sky-high heels, skirts that would barely cover my underwear if I had any, and cleveages that ends somewhere around my navel. Excellent dress code, I know. I aim to please. Guess what?
He hasn't even looked once.
But yesterday I think my mother has finally outdone herself. We've all been to dinner at the Arryns'. A rich old politician who is meant to help father with something, no idea what they're about, but that's beside the point. The Starks were there: the Ice Wolf, his wife the Ice Queen, as we call her, and their two hot sons.
And get this: mother had me give him a footsie under the table. In front of his wife and sons and my own father and everything. Yeah. I wish I was joking.
The second my foot touched his thigh under the table, his eyes immediately shot to me, but... he said nothing. He's done nothing. He only watched me, as I massaged his crotch with my foot. Maybe his ears went a little red, but otherwise - nothing, nada. Null. His gaze was intense, and it was kinda hot, not gonna lie. But I couldn't tell what he was thinking or if he was even enjoying it. I mean, I could tell he was hard but who wouldn't be? Eventually I had to stop because the Arryn guy wanted to show everyone his new private jet and we had to move from the table.
Thanks for nothing, mom.
I feared I made an idiot of myself and I was sure Mr Stark would fire me the second I crossed the doorstep of our office today, but... nothing of the sort. He was all cool politeness, and his DILFy sexiness, as always. And he made me stay overtime.
I actually think I might go mad with blue balls. Blue vag? Is that a thing?
Uh-oh. He wants something. He's rang the bell. Nobody's around this late and it makes me a little jittery, but I gather my courage, stand up, push my boobs forward and march into his corner office with all the dignity that's left to me.
"I want to show you something," he says and he points to a pile of papers on his desk. I see thay are some kind of screenshots, but the lights are dimmed and I can't read the details.
I lean down over the desk to have a closer lookand my heart freezes several times over. Suddenly it's hard to breathe. On his desk lay printed screenshots of my conversations with my mother. Conversations regarding him and how best to seduce him.
I panic and immediately start planning my evacuation, but suddenly I feel his strong hand on my back, pressing me to the desk.
"And you thought you were so smart," he says, standing behind me. On this lucky cursed night I'm actually wearing underwear, but it's all lace and so thin it's practically not there. I feel the broad knuckles of his other hand brush over my snatch. You know, because my skirt does nothing to cover my privates.
"Smart girls should always remember to log out," Mr Stark informs me.
I am not a smart girl. Never have been.
HOT HOT HOT
Oh i love how involved Cersei is in this; just adds another layer !!
#i can't add anything to this master piece#the hottest!!!#business and pleasure#you always write the best!
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Digimon Adventure 02 (Manhua) - Vol. 2
Soooo dulll -snore- This would/should have been something I could have read in like an hour, but since I really wasn't enjoying it it took weeks instead. Luckily, it's over with this volume! Obviously, I do not recommend picking this one up.
Ch. 8
-They're really just not bothering with characterization like...at all. Other than maybe Daisuke and Ken, the other characters just react to things. If I was a newbie, I couldn't tell you a single thing about their personalities, likes/dislikes, motivations, etc.
-More gag dialogue in this chapter: Aquilamon says "Yargh, my organs!" when attacked (very Teen Girl Squad) and Daisuke says BlackWarGreymon needs "one of those chicken soup for the soul books" lol.
-I will say, the art has been consistently great and this volumne started off with a really nice 2 page spread of the 02 gang. At least it's not a complete flop.
Ch. 9
-I don't think TK's trauma and subsequent extra hatred for dark things is as interesting a bit of character development as the writers think it is. TK hates evil stuff? Wow...so does everyone lol.
-Not going to lie, I was kind of hoping they would make a dumb joke about how weird Shakkoumon's design is. (At least to the American eye).
Ch. 10
-Well I don't want to spoil things for myself, but I just realized that Qinglongmon is "one of 4" holy digimon and we haven't met the other 3 yet! I wonder when they'll show up...
-In this chapter they say "57.4 digital power" which...I have no idea what that means?? It sounds like it might be a reference to an old radio station or something, but google told me nothing. Hurray for dated dialogue!
Ch. 11
-They blasted right past the world tour arc in record speeds so it had absolutely zero impact. Also, every time they introduce a new villain, they're destroyed like 2 panels later. No stakes ever basically.
-I think they're just making up slang now. When Imperialdramon (fighter mode) shows up, Daisuke's like "it's nacho!" The fuck does that mean??? I even googled this and got nothing.
Ch. 12
-I had completely forgotten about Ken using his inner darkness to defeat Daemon. Of course, they completely cut out the bit about the dark ocean in the manga, so it makes a little less sense here (not that it made much sense to begin with lol)
-More made up slang. Daisuke calls Ken "bizzah"?? (I was born in 1992 and I've never heard that in my life).
Ch. 13
-I get that the name "MaloMyotismon" is supposed to be from the Spanish mal for "bad" (I guess), but it just makes me think of marshmallows instead lol. Not very threatening.
-For a second there I thought Oikawa transformed into MaloMyotismon, but I guess it was more like MaloMyotismon came out of him? My memory of this part is pretty blurry.
Ch. 14
-Okay never mind, they changed things so that when they killed MaloMyotismon, they killed Oikawa too. Pretty different from the anime, but I guess they were running out of pages lol
-They had Daisuke narrate the epilogue instead of TK, which actually makes more sense. It really bugs me how everyone had at least one kid, as if that's mandatory. A majority of my friends are child-free and I like to think realistically at least one out of the 6 kids would be too (especially since they're Japanese lol). Oh well, silly fantasy stories are gonna be silly.
I'm giving this a 2 out of 10. I want my time back >:/
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Bax have you had any incidents with the whole… sifter thing or has everything been smooth sailing?
"It's actually been all smooth sailing, surprisingly. Like, I've actually got the transformations mostly under control. I don't just lose control of myself randomly anymore.
I think it helped to go to the ball, 'cause it kinda proved to me that I'm not just gonna like... wolf out and kill a bunch of people, yanno? So I feel good about hangin' out with my friends again, and doing work down at my shop.
Oh, and I'm even figuring out how to transform whenever I want, which is kinda cool. And I don't even have to go full wolf, either. I can be something in-between. Pretty sick, I won't lie."
"But lemme tell ya, being a shifter is no walk in the park. There's still plenty of things I haven't figured out. Like, not getting overwhelmed by scents? Impossible. EVERYTHING has a strong smell now, and scents have like, way more information too. So it's honestly kinda dizzying sometimes.
Like, I go to just sniff my dinner and instead I find out that our neighbors are cheating 'cause I can actually smell them fucking. And I get a big ol' whiff of basically EVERYTHING in my hive, the good smells AND the bad ones, and it's overwhelming as fuck. And I smell every neighborhood dog and cat, AND where they've been. Like great, thanks, can I just enjoy my curry now? And the answer is a big fat no because suddenly my head is spinning and I need to lay down.
It's not as bad as when this first happened, but fuck, it still majorly sucks. I dunno how wolves cope. Guess it helps that they're born that way. I JUST got burdened with it, and it's such a huge fuckin' contrast from how my nose worked before. Frustrating as fuck. But at least it'll probably get better with time."
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Project Bloody Type (a sample of my latest work)
it's a little bit of something I've been working on this morning. Let me know what you think! It's a rough rough draft but I like where it's going.
1
It was the worst day to get a nose job. I wasn’t going to in the first place, but my cousin got one. And when my cousin gets one, my aunt tells my mother. And my mother has to bug me about it. Because if there’s one thing my mother can’t stand it’s someone outshining her perfect daughter.
I snort-laugh to myself. Ouch. I put my hand gingerly on my nose. Why does it hurt so much? Surely it’s not supposed to hurt this much. I put on my sunglasses and walked out into the sunshine. Why was it so damn bright outside? I shook myself. Get a hold of yourself, Lucille. You don’t need to have a panic attack. It’s just sunlight. It’s just a nose job. Why am I freaking out. AND WHAT IS THAT SMELL? I was accosted by a horrible scent. It was so foul, like the stench of what I think a dead body would probably smell like. I was gagging violently, when the offensive odor made itself known.
Garlic knots.
The lady eating them was enjoying herself, licking her fingers and causing quite a ruckus. Which made no sense. Because she was at least a city block away. Why could I hear and smell her so close? I had to get out of there. I hailed a taxi instead of getting a Lyft, heaven only knows why. I got in and gave the address of my mother’s house. I needed to lie down. In a very, very, very dark room. For about ten years. The driver nodded and adjusted his rearview mirror. I silently hoped he wasn’t a serial killer, as I do with all taxi or Lyft or Uber drivers who take me wherever. The garlic smell vanished, and I could breathe again. But then I got a stabbing pain in my head. Was the smell so bad it gave me a headache. I looked up.
Dangling from the rearview mirror was a silver cross as big as my thumb.
“Are you alright lady?” the man said. My vision was swimming, and I was having a hard time breathing. This nose job guy was going to hear from my attorney. The house was only a block away, I could walk from here. Something told me to get the hell out of this car. I begged the man to pull over and he did so. I gave him a $100 and told him to keep the change. He seemed very concerned, but I insisted I was ok. Reluctantly, he drove off, and the fresh air seemed to clear my head instantly. What in the hell was going on? I got home and immediately went to the downstairs bathroom. I still felt nauseous, but I didn’t want to throw up. I just wanted it to go away….go away….go away…
KNOCK KNOCK
“GO AWAY PLEASE” I yelled, clutching my stomach.
“Lucy? Is that you? Are you ok?” my mother called, “Honey, I’m just on my way out. Would you rather I stay home today?”
Oh, the Bingo game. “No it’s ok! Go ahead, I’m just going to lay down for a while.”
“Ok,” she said. I could sense her hesitating outside the door.
I hope my baby isn’t too sick was whispering through the door.
“What was that, Mom?” I said.
“I didn’t say anything baby. You just rest and I’ll be back later.”
I listened as her footsteps walked further from the bathroom. Then as her car left the driveway. I found the Tylenol and put a couple of them in my hand. Three minutes and two glasses of lukewarm water later, I was on the couch, curled underneath my mother’s hand sewn quilt. Why me, I thought miserably. Why now? I went to touch my nose, out of curiosity. And it didn’t hurt. Weird. I sat up and took out my phone. Opening the camera app, I saw my face, bandaged and a little red from the retching earlier. I don’t know why I did it, but I took the wrapping and removed it from my face, slowly but surely. Everything was healed. There were no bruises, no cuts, nothing to suggest a need for down time of any kind. I felt my hands trembling. Jesus Christ, what was wrong with me? Just as I thought about calling someone, maybe one of my friends, there was a bang outside in the garden. The wrong sort of bang.
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Requested by: @kokomisbiggestkinnie
Alright so I'm sorry for my mistake but I did also write Barbatos x Mammon. To be honest at some point I didn't know where to go with these two or what to do with them. But things turned out great. Hope you enjoy it.
Contains: Fluff
Barbatos x Mammon
You can find more of my work here: Masterlist
Barbatos x Mammon relationship hcs
•Alright so in my opinion Barbatos and Mammon are a little strained but not enemies (similar to Solomon and Barbatos) I would say that Mammon is scared of Barbatos while Barbatos is natural towards Mammon.
•Their first encounter would be in the Demon Lord's castle:
The seven brothers were invited to a dinner party at the Demon Lord's castle and everyone was excited. (Except Levi and Belphie) Mammon was particularly excited since he knew there were a lot of treasures in the castle. So when the first opportunity came Mammon took it. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and began wandering around the castle, looking for valuables. When he found the castle's vault his eyes widened. He was blinded by greed and tried to break in. Mammon mumbled to himself.
-Hmm... The vault has a password.. 7 symbols. 7? Oh come on, man! Diavolo you are too cruel. How can ya put 7?! –He tries a few combinations but they are all unsuccessful. He has one last try left before the alarms go off. Mammon begins thinking and suddenly something comes to mind. "Lucifer"
The name of the eldest has 7 letters in it plus Diavolo was really fond of him. Mammon wrote Lucifer's name and the vault opened! (It's not a surprise tbh) Mammon steps in with bright eyes but soon enough hears a familiar voice.
-Are you looking for something, Mammon? –Barbatos' voice echoes through the hallway and Mammon freezes in place thinking of an excuse.
-Errr... The vault was open and ya. Since I'm such a kind demon I decided to close it for ya!
-No need to lie, Mammon. I can see right through you. The question is... Do I handle you myself or do I hand you off to Lucifer? –Barbatos questions with a sadistic look on his face. Almost as bad as Lucifer's.
-GAHHHH PLEASE NOT LUCIFER NO! –Mammon shouts. And Barbatos shakes his head.
-So be it. I won't tell you off to Lucifer yet but I'll be the one to punish you. –Barbatos says and pulls Mammon in the dungeons for his punishment. It was just as bad as Lucifer's but in the end Barbatos didn't string Mammon up from the ceiling like the Avatar of Pride would. Instead he releases him.
•Eventually the eldest finds out about Mammon's recent mischief and he is pissed. Mammon finds himself on his knees in Lucifer's study before said demon. He is being scolded. At the end of the yelling session Lucifer demands Mammon to make it up to Barbatos. He hands Mammon a rare kind of tea and tells the second-oldest to gift it to Barbatos as an apology.
•The next morning the Avatar of Greed goes to the Demon Lord's castle to give the tea to Barbatos. He is anxious to see the demon and plans on just handing him the tea with a brief apology and running away afterwards. He enters the castle and is immediately welcomed by the warm welcome of Barbatos. He doesn't seem mad at all which makes Mammon wonder. Though he had that scary smile on his face that makes the white-haired demon's blood chill.
-Hey uh Barbatos! I wanted to say sorry for breaking into the castle vault and I uh. I brought ya this! –Mammon hesitantly hands the tea to Barbatos who gladly accepts it.
-Hmm... This is a quite rare variety of tea. I'm flattered, Mammon. I'll gladly accept it as well as your apology. Now.. would you like me to make you some tea? –Barbatos offers and the second-born is almost blown away by the offer. He isn't sure whether to accept the offer or to run for his life but at the end he gives in. Barbatos' tea is the best after all.
•Barbatos and Mammon proceed to enjoy their time together. Mammon doesn't do anything questionable and as a result the time with Barbatos is nice. The green-haired demon invites Mammon for future tea parties as well.
•After a few weeks of shared tea time the two demons get exceptionally close and as time goes on both yearn to spend time with each other.
•One day Barbatos invites Mammon to the castle and when he arrives Barbatos pushes the white-haired demon against the wall and leans in close.
-Mammon there is something you have to know... –Barbatos begins but Mammon cuts him off.
-Is it what I think it is? –Mammon questions and carefully moves his hands to Barbatos' hips.
-I think it is... How would you like to enlighten me, Mammon? –Barbatos teases the second-born, pulling him closer to his own body. His eyes are burning with lust, passion and desire for the troublemaker of a demon.
-Ya're in love with me. With the Great Mammon. –Barbatos growls and leans into Mammon's ear.
-Yes but how does he feel? How do you feel, Mammon?
-Me? I suppose I'll indulge in ya, Barbatos. I love ya too... –Barbatos smirks at Mammon's words and leans in. The demon's lips meet in a passionate kiss. A kiss that was long awaited from the two.
•The two demons go on a few dates before Mammon takes the first step and asks Barbatos to be his boyfriend. Of course he accepts and both become lovers.
•Mammon is fast to let his brothers know even if Barbatos tells him to wait. All of them are happy except the eldest who remains silent. The idea of his younger brother dating Barbatos of all demons isn't exactly appealing to Lucifer. Mammon takes his time convincing him and Lucifer gives in but remains sceptical.
•Lucifer talks to Diavolo about the relationship between the two and the prince's eyes widen.
-Barbatos never told you? –Lucifer questions and Diavolo shakes his head.
-Hmm.. interesting.. Mammon was fast to tell me and my brothers. It almost seems like he is proud of this whole relationship. –Lucifer scoffs. But Diavolo doesn't seem to mind. Instead he looks happy about the new couple.
•Mammon and Barbatos begin spending more time together. Occasionally cuddling, kissing and spending passionate nights in bed.
•I feel like Barbatos would be the one to dominate Mammon but the second-born wouldn't back away either. So their relationship is 50/50.
•Barbatos often prepares his lover's favourite tea and treats to welcome him at the castle.
•Diavolo gives Barbatos more free time which is WELL appreciated by Mammon but Barbatos was sceptical.
•Mammon buys matching bracelets for himself and for his boyfriend so they can match. Barbatos immediately accepts it.
•As for nicknames I believe Barbatos calls Mammon "dear" or "my love" while Mammon uses "Babe" and "darling".
•One time Mammon was feeling lonely so he ran to the castle to see his boyfriend. Barbatos warmly welcomes Mammon who runs into his arms.
-I missed ya, babe! –Barbatos chuckles to Mammon's words.
-I missed you too, dear.
-I love ya! –The second born exclaims and hugs Barbatos tighter.
-I love you too, my love.
•(Mammon asks Lucifer to go live at the castle but Lucifer declines.)
I BEG OF THE BARBMON RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS PLEASE <3
(Btw I love your blog!! :D)
Okay so this is another relationship I haven't really thought about since we know both Barbatos and Solomon have some bad blood. Though that can't stop me from changing things up a bit. I was wondering whether or not I should include a romantic relationship or just fix their relationship all together. When I tried off with the romance it worked out perfectly and I happen to like it so here it is. Enjoy!
(There could have been a misunderstanding so If you meant Barbatos x Mammon please don't refrain from reaching out to me)
Contains: Fluff
Barbatos x Solomon
Barbatos x Solomon relationship hcs
• So for starters.. it's well known that Barbatos and Solomon don't have the best relationship going on (Based on Nightbringer, so I assume they are still strained in OM) but I suppose we can make it work as enemies to lovers.
• At first Barbatos does everything and when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING to try and avoid Solomon, to which he of course doesn't seem particularly happy. Though due to the pact Solomon has with Barbatos the sorcerer can use the demon to his advantage.
• The first time they are forced to share a talk is when Diavolo invited Solomon over at the Demon Lord's castle to discuss some important matters. When Solomon arrived he was welcomed by Barbatos (Certainly not warmly) and the demon led the sorcerer to the meeting room. Suddenly Barbatos gets an unexpected call from Diavolo, saying that he'll be late to the meeting and he'd do well to inform Solomon. Barbatos sighs and when the prince hangs up the phone he looks over at the human.
-You are free to go, if you must. The Young Lord is currently busy so the meeting shall be rescheduled for a later hour.
-I'll wait here. I don't mind. –Solomon speaks firmly and doesn't move from his seat. Barbatos glares over at Solomon and moves his gaze away after a minute.
-So, Barbatos. How have you been doing? -The sorcerer questions, trying to engage in a conversation.
-Kindly, Solomon, that's none of your concern. –Barbatos answers and looks over at his watch to check the time.
-I'm just asking. I'm not doing any harm. –Solomon states and moves his piercing gaze towards the demon who was already glaring at him.
-Fine, if you insist. I've been doing particularly great, of course when you are not around. As for when you are... Hm.. I won't offend you, Solomon. –Barbatos speaks in a firm tone.
-No need to be so negative, Barbatos. –Solomon responds and that's when suddenly Diavolo enters the room.
-I'm sorry for being late but I had some matters to attend to. I'm glad you are already here, Solomon. That means we can start right away. – The demon prince states and the meeting begins. Solomon and Barbatos don't talk afterwards.
• As time goes by Solomon does notice that Barbatos doesn't seem comfortable when he is around so he decides to take action. The sorcerer has put his hands on a rare variety of human world tea a few months ago so he decides to send it over to Barbatos as a gift.
• Barbatos won't admit it but he was thrilled to see Solomon's gift and prepare the Young Master's afternoon tea with it. (He tastes it to see whether it's poisoned or not so he could give it to Diavolo safely)
• Solomon continues to send the demon different stuff he knows he is interested in for the next few weeks before Barbatos arrives at his doorstep to thank him. He didn't seem as tense around the sorcerer as he did before.
• The sorcerer was smug about the fact that his plan worked. That he managed to make Barbatos hate him a little less. While Barbatos was actually questioning why he felt less hate towards the human sorcerer just from a few gifts.
• One time the demon and the sorcerer met over at a café by accident but decided to take the opportunity and talk over a cup of coffee. Solomon manages to make Barbatos say why he dislikes him so much and when he does Solomon was shocked at how dumb the reason was. He reassured the demon that things weren't exactly how he thought they were and Barbatos doesn't have a reason not to trust him. Before leaving the café Barbatos apologises to Solomon and says they can be friends.
-It's time for me to leave, Barbatos. But I'm glad we had this talk. –Solomon clears his throat and stands up from his seat and Barbatos follows. The demon walks over to the human and takes one of his hands, bringing it up to his lips and gently placing a kiss to his knuckles.
-I'm sorry for the wrong assumptions, Solomon. Please accept my apology. I would appreciate it if we could continue being friends.
-Of course, Barbatos. Misunderstandings happen. There is no need to apologise. And yes. I would like it if we could be friends as well.
• From that day onward things between those two warm up and they find out that they have similar interests. They go out to hang out from time to time when Barbatos has free time and overtime something changes...
• Both begin feeling slightly different... To say the least. It's not just regular friendship anymore. Things change. They get closer. When they are together they share more intimate and personal conversations and the two of them seem to feel the need to hang out more often.
• One time their hands brushed accidentally and both of them felt their heart skip. That's when they knew. It was.. attraction.
• Barbatos takes matters into hands and decides to tell Solomon about how he feels. Surprisingly for him though he finds out the sorcerer feels the same. And they come to the conclusion that it's best if they explore it further.
•They first kiss was a few weeks up to a month after Barbatos' confession. Solomon had invited the demon over at his place and during their conversation Solomon couldn't resist anymore. Barbatos was sitting next to him and that was making it harder for Solomon. He placed his hand on the demon's jaw and brought their faces together. Their lips met for the first time in a gentle but lingering kiss. After they pull away Barbatos looks over at Solomon with a faint redness in his cheeks and whispers.
-I've been waiting for this to happen..
•After the day of the first kiss Solomon and Barbatos decide to become lovers. Barbatos insisted on taking things slow and after a week or two into the relationship he mentions that to Diavolo. When he hears that he's so happy that he was about to throw a whole event in the Devildom to celebrate the two lovers. Barbatos manages to stop him from doing so since he wants his relationship to be more private.
•Diavolo loosens his workload over Barbatos so he could have more free time to spend with his partner. (Barbatos hesitated at first but gave in)
•Diavolo makes sure to share the news about the couple with the angels and the brothers secretly from Barbatos.
•As for the couple, they are really happy together. Neither of them expected for this to happen but they don't regret it a single bit.
•Their relationship is beautiful. Romantic dates, warm embraces, slow and passionate kisses which often lead to passionate love making and overall pure joy.
• As for who dominates in bed I would say that is Solomon. (He is the master in the relationship from the beginning after all)
• Barbatos often helps Solomon with his experiments so in a matter of months Solomon's popularity shines like never before. He is the most wise and successful sorcerer ever known.
•Solomon often brings Barbatos different teas from the human world. And Barbatos makes the most delicious tea ever known for his lover. They share it together while cuddling and discussing whatever comes to mind.
•When it comes to nicknames Barbatos calls Solomon: "my dear", "darling" or "my love" while Solomon often uses only "love"
• Solomon randomly walks up to Barbatos and tells him he loves him out of the blue just to make him smile and brighten his day.
-Hey, love. I love you. –Solomon says and smiles warmly at Barbatos.
-Why thank you. I love you too, my dear.
#obey me!#obey me shall we date#obeymeswd#obey me fic#obey me headcanons#obey me hcs#obey me fanfic#obey me barbatos#obey me#obey me mammon#obey me barbatos x mammon#obey me fandom
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🦄 🔥 🖼 🛍
MY EXPERIENCE IN THE ROLEPLAYING COMMUNITY * send me a symbol and i'll tell you... - @kingofthewebxxx
🔥 my hot take about the roleplaying community
Okay, I don't think I actually have any hot takes, I have thoughts here and there.... like I wish people would be more honest about stuff. I wish some of the language was simpler because somethings are really confusing to me (probably a tism thing) - like why 'private' blogs advertise themselves in tags. If it says private I assume it means, completely closed off or like invite only or they don't accept random follows. - If it just means mutuals only I don't understand why you wouldn't use that language.
I have thoughts about shipping too - like I'm probably more sensitive to it because I'm an OC. On the one hand I wish people wouldn't assume that all OC's want to romantically ship, there's a lot of characters I'd just love connections with. I also wish I didn't feel so.... like not bad but like a certain type of way about curating shippy stuff, reblogging shippy stuff, making gifsets for ships I don't even have. - I have a lot of conflict about it because I'm trying not to put people off taking a look at my blog, trying not to make people think that the only reason I want to write with them is for a ship when that is far from the case and chemistry is the absolute most important thing to me. I think I just need to think fuck it and do shit anyway.
🦄 the best thing that's happened to me in roleplay this year
I definitely think coming back to Maria, realising how much I missed and loved her. I think being accepted again and finding new connections, reconnecting with old friends. I think those are the best things.
🖼 my favorite types of characters
I'm not going to lie, I think it depends on what I'm reading/feeling like. I love well rounded characters with depth though, or potential depth and I tend to be really attracted to side characters the most in canon.
In terms of playing characters, I adore sort of grumpy cop characters with a heart of gold, that's why in the past I've played Harvey Bullock, Lestrade, Alfred Pennyworth, a couple of OC's. I quite enjoy soft male characters too which is why I've had a couple of male OC's with a similar character type to Archie Hopper.
As far as female characters go, I tend to go for OC's rather than canon quite a lot. I couldn't tell you why because often in RP it's not about shipping them with someone, it's more about exploring characters. I like softer female characters with a strength in them and a tendancy towards kindness - that's what Maria is, it's what Briar was and Charlie. Even characters who are darker, like my vampire OC with Eva Green FC - have a great strength in them without being villainous or OTT. I've only played one or two canon female characters and one of them I had a horrible experience on (Tauriel from The Hobbit).
I LOVE a good dramatic villain, really hamming it up and making it panto. I love playing a mirror/evil version of Maria because that's exactly how I play her, as cartoonish, hack and hamming it up, but also kind of early 00's sexy.
🛍 the one thing i wish all of my followers knew about me
Oh goodness I'm not sure. Okay, maybe, how crippling awkward I feel all the time. How if I don't contact you, or I rarely IM it's not a reflection of how much I enjoy our threads. I just categorically NEVER want to be a bother to anyone. I get very in my head about how I might be misinterpreted or that I'm bothering people with my mere presence, that I'm too much. That I talk too much. So I just keep myself to myself instead. Even when there's gifs/drabbles/ideas/fun stuff I am DYING to share.
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BBB Chapter 10 [1/2]:
"Hot Headed"
"Oh... company," I address the third party in the room with a big smile, "Wasn't expecting anyone today..." Strength gains in my voice as I turn to Sans, "Didn't even expect YOU here today either! No school for you?" I scold. "Well, I—" Before Sans can come up with an excuse Grillby intervenes. "Sans? Were you supposed to be in school today?" He interrogates my brother before I'm able to. "I thought you understood how I felt about you skipping classes." Not giving Sans time to make an excuse Grillby talks over him again, seems that's all he's good at. "I know you're a 'grown adult' and all, but you still have responsibilities." "I know, Grillbs..." The sight of my brother being lectured by Grillby filled me with disgust. Only I can do that. "There's really no need for you to clarify what I tell him every day." "Well, I thought I should because the demanding way you say it never seems to get across." Sans stays silent, stuck in the crossfire of our debate. He becomes flustered, zippering his sweatshirt and fidgeting with his sleeves. He was always so incapable of speaking for himself, but I enjoyed being the one to clarify for him; I grew closer to him that way. I scoff, "Well the last time I checked you weren't related to him, and you're certainly not his boyfriend... I think I'd hear about you more if that was the case." Grillby looked almost defeated by my statement, though added one more comment, a faint smirk grew on his face, turning his attention to Sans, the intended audience still being me. "I sure hope we aren't related... that'd be pretty gross." Sans' cheeks lit up a bright blue which I could only assume would be by the mention of him and Grillbs. "AHA— alright, guys—! Grillbs it's been great having ya but you gotta go," Sans finally spat out, ushering Grillby to the exit and mumbling something as he pushed the man out who didn't get a word in before he was on the other side of the door, discarded—unlike any way one would treat a significant other. "What's your problem with him?" Sans turns around, speaking sternly. "There's no problem," I lie, unable to think of a reasonable problem to have. "Bullshit, Paps." "I just don't appreciate being spoken to like that in my own home. I don't want him in here judging me when I'm out and unable to defend myself." "What are you even saying? He was just looking out for me and you blew up on him!" "I don't want him in this shit show of an apartment when I can't justify it. I think it's a completely reasonable response to snap at him. I'm uncomfortable with him seeing how messy this place is." "What? Grillby doesn't care about that! I literally go over to his house to help him with the same inconvenience! We spend all our time making his place look presentable!" Sure, THAT'S what they spend their time doing. "Well, maybe you should spend your time doing that here instead of skipping class to help someone more privileged." "Stop acting like my education is what this is about." My posture straightens, suddenly alarmed. What does he think this is about? Does he see my jealousy? I need to know what he perceives my envy to be. "WHAT ELSE WOULD IT BE ABOUT?" I defend. "FUCKING MONEY, Papyrus!" Sans' voice starts strong but becomes almost inaudible as he reaches my name, once he hears the intensity of his reply.
#foncest#fontcest#undertale smut#sans undertale#sans x papyrus#fanfic#grillby undertale#sans x grillby#undertale#grillby x sans
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DRPG - EVENT - GET BACK! CAT CAFE CRISIS
1/5 Netherworld Cat Cafe
A cat cafe has opened in the Netherworld! Someone unexpected appears in front of Etna, who is only there for the desserts and has no interest in cats.
Unexpected Reunion
Etna: Cat Cafe "Kitty Meow." I can tell that the shop owner is bad at naming things, but I'm okay with that. Hahah! With this voucher from the Prince, I can… enjoy as many desserts as I please in this cat cafe! Look at this menu! For a cat cafe, it has such a wide variety of desserts… How splendid! Hey, are you even listening, [Player]? The Prince has no interest in cat cafes, so I'll just use this voucher. Flonne said she was busy, and I couldn't find her anywhere, so I invited you instead. So let's enjoy ourselves and eat as many desserts as we want~
???: Just what I needed. If that's the case, I'll join you, too.
Etna: Y-You are…?!
I'm with You, Big Bro
Etna: Wait, what are you doing here?
Xenolith: My purpose is the same as yours. I'm gonna investigate the cat cafe.
Etna: No, we're here to enjoy desserts. What do you mean by "investigate the cat cafe?"
Xenolith: A cat cafe in this Netherworld? It's obviously suspicious.
Etna: That so? As long as they have enough desserts, I don't care!
Xenolith: You're still just as inconsiderate as you used to be. That really makes me worried. I'd better go with you.
Etna: Huh? Who do you think you are? Our guardian? If you really want to investigate it, do it yourself.
Xenolith: I don't know why, but… whenever I go into that cat cafe, everyone just fixes their eyes on me.
Etna: …Because of your unconcealed gloomy aura? Ah, forget it. Talking with you exhausts me. All right, I will take you with us, but the desserts for me and [Player] are on you. But… if you ever talk to me like I'm a child… I'll kill you. Do I make myself clear?
Xenolith: All right, I see.
Stage 1 - Hallway to the Cat Cafe 1 Stage 2 - Hallway to the Cat Cafe 2
Where is the Dessert?
Etna: Oh, the decorations are nice. The desserts here must be promising too~!
Xenolith: Is that… the world's most advanced scratching post? The one that only rich people can afford? And that… the legendary cat food that attracts cats more effectively than catnip… Yeah, this place is well stocked.
Etna: You're pretty familiar with cat products.
Xenolith: …Practice and preparation make perfect. I did some research beforehand.
Etna: Whatever… Anyway, let's start with the desserts…
Xenolith: Wait, isn't it weird to you?
Etna: What do you mean?
Xenolith: I heard that anyone who steps into this cat cafe, will be attacked by the cats, and have their heart healed against their will.
Etna: Speaking of which, there are no cats in this cat cafe. What happened…? …Besides, it appears weird to me why there are so many angels here.
Voice: Meow…
Xenolith: …?! It's a cat! Go!
Etna: Hey, wait!
Stage 3 - Chasing Big Bro 1 Stage 4 - Chasing Big Bro 2
Cat Cafe Manager
Etna: How unexpected. The staff here are angels. That explains why there are so many angels.
Xenolith: I'm afraid some sort of terrible conspiracy is brewing in this cat cafe.
Etna: Your words would be more convincing if you stopped petting cats. BBut you've made a point. There is something fishy in this cat cafe.
Xenolith: Well then, let's just find the owner and…
Handsome Angel: No matter how many times you come here, the answer is "no."
Etna: Another angel?! Is that angel…
Handsome Angel: Now that I'm here, I, Archangel Virunga, shall never let you harm my beautiful compatriots any more.
Virunga: Hmm? Is that…
Etna: Y-you are… Manuka?
Virunga: It's Virunga! C-Could it be…? Are you with that demon, trying to hinder my plan?!
Etna: We are here to enjoy the desserts!
Xenolith: …
Virunga: No! Don't you think you can ever fool me! You lie with your deceptive smile! That's what demons do! I-I must protect my lovely fellows!! Now, die!
Stage 5 - Confused Angel
Boss - Archangel Virunga: I won't let you interfere with my plans anymore!
The Angel's Purpose
Virunga: I-I lost… Is - is it because… my love for them is not enough…?!
Etna: What are you even talking about?! Anyway, let's forget about this… You dare attack your customers? You got some nerve. I'm sure you know what will happen now~!
Xenolith: Wait, if we fight here, the cats will get stressed out.
Etna: Alas, you care about the cats? You're a good guy after all.
Xenolith: I don't care about the cat cafe, but it's strange that angels would open a cat cafe in the Netherworld. What exactly are you up to?
Etna: You don't care about the cat cafe?!
Virunga: Y-You won't get anything from me!
Etna: Well, then let's give him a swift end~!
Virunga: S-Stop! Don't do that, or this cafe will be burned to ashes…!
Xenolith: If you don't want to piss her off further, tell us why you opened a cat cafe in the Netherworld.
Virunga: …I guess I have no choice. It's all for those lovely cats! I'll tell you all the truth!
Etna: …Cats?
Virunga: The reasons why I opened a cat cafe in the Netherworld are as complicated as Lord-Seraph's mind!
#etna#xenolith#virunga#get back! cat cafe crisis#disgaea rpg#drpg#disgaea rpg global#drpg global#event
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Basement Dweller 15: Things Changing
Welp, your local basement dweller has a girlfriend (!!!). Was not entirely sure this day would ever happen, but here we are. It’s no fairytale love song (like anything ever is) but it’s pretty damn great, I won’t lie to you. I won’t bore you with the detail of how much I like her or why I do, instead, as I often do here, I’ll tell you about the things troubling me.
This girlfriend of mine is really doing nothing wrong, most of my worry comes from myself. Firstly, we’ve been spending a lot of time together, like a lot. As someone who doesn’t spend much time with any other humans this has been a very new experience for me. I really enjoy spending time with her, as she’s literally the homie, but can definitely feel myself becoming burnt out. She’s really sent me spinning in the best way possible, but spinning nonetheless. Since we met about three weeks ago, I’ve been all out of sorts. Typically, in a day I have a few things I “need” to do including writing, reading, working out, meditating, and just taking time to myself to think. With her around, the life I once clung to for dear life is disintegrating.
Change has always been uncomfortable for me. Ask my parents, my resistance to it is an attribute that’s always been a part of me. At times I get the sudden urge to forget this whole thing and go back to my hermit ways, but I know I’d miss her too much and giving up this special lady because I’m a little scared would be silly beyond comprehension. Still, the fears always creep back in.
One of my main worries right now is behind her getting to know me. I’m starting to realize that I have literally no idea how to show who I am up to a certain point. When she speaks of herself, she’s so easily able to express the wide range of emotions that float around her being, I can’t help but be in awe. At the same time, I’m completely unable meet her there and that deeply upsets me. There are times that I feel like sharing something but instead consciously choose not to, for whatever reason. I want to trust her, and I know I can, but deep inside me is a resistance. It’s not her fault, it’s obvious that I’m the one with the anxiety.
Anxiety has followed me my whole life, why did I think it would be gone now? They say life starts with love but it’s really a continuation of all that’s come before. Just because I found someone special doesn’t mean all my problems will be solved. I’m only lucky to have met someone who will (hopefully) give me the space to work through some of these problems.
We’ve really only been going through this “oh you’re so amazing” faze of our relationship and not yet into a “let’s get to work” faze (are these even fazes of a relationship, I don’t know…) but I think we’re moving there. Which means now I will have to do things I don’t want to.
Till Next Time
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