#the person that zephyr/mc is referring to is the lucifer from their timeline

[666writingcafe]

A Revealing Conversation

Lucifer

I don't know what exactly prompts me to do this, but I find myself walking inside the library with a cup of coffee in my hand. The door to the attached study is slightly ajar. Poking my head in reveals Zephyr fast asleep with their head resting on top of the desk. Setting the mug down on an empty spot on the desk, I touch their shoulder and gently shake it, successfully waking them up.

"What time is it?" they ask, rubbing the sleepiness out of their eyes.

"Eight," I respond."

"Morning?"

"Yes. I brought you coffee." Zephyr gives me a quizzical look. "I made a pot for myself, and I didn't want it to go to waste." A partial lie, but I don't want them teasing me if they knew the truth: that I intentionally made enough for the two of us to share.

"Thanks." They take a sip of the coffee, making a face as soon as the beverage hits their tongue.

Which is odd. I don't recall burning it.

"Oh, don't mind me," Zephyr tells me, setting the mug back down. "Some blends of Devildom coffee tend to be too bitter for my taste. I do appreciate you grabbing me a cup, though. It'll definitely help me feel more awake." They pause briefly. "Just out of curiosity, what did you use this morning?"

"Something called hell coffee, I believe? The person that helped me pick it out at the store said that it's rather strong, so I figured that meant it had a decent amount of caffeine in it."

"I see." They look slightly amused as they pick the mug up again. The next thing I know, they're downing the coffee like it was a shot.

Which I've only seen Diavolo do. It's not like I've done it.

Another lie. Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Zephyr softly smiles, appearing to pick up on my confusion.

"Someday, you'll understand why I did that, but for now, just know that some of the foods and drinks around here are laced with magic." Before I can tell them off for being vague, they turn their attention towards the biggest stack of paperwork and begin working through it. I should take that as my cue to leave them alone so that they can focus on what Diavolo assigned them.

But I don't. I can't.

I quietly sit down in one of the chairs across from them and watch them work for a moment. They seem poised, even when doing something this menial.

Even when punishing my brothers. How can they remain so composed when I want to scream and bang my head against the wall?

It just isn't fair.

"Something on your mind?" Zephyr asks, glancing up at me. If it weren't for the genuine curiosity in their eyes, I would've simply brushed them off by saying I was simply staring off into space or something.

Instead, I ask them,

"How can you stay calm in all this chaos?"

"Years of practice," they answer, still focused on their paperwork. "And knowing that there will always be quiet periods where I can decompress."

"What about in the moment, when you're confronted with it and can't escape it?"

"Well, that's when I start cursing to myself. The key with dealing with chaos is to not let your frustrations show. If the people around you sense that you're upset, then they're more likely to reflect those emotions back at you, making everything that much more tedious to slog through."

"What would you call last night, then?" Zephyr appears to contemplate my question as they continue working.

"Karma." In an attempt to hold back laughter, I end up going into a coughing fit.

"Hold your arms up," they instruct. "It'll relax the muscles enough for you to breathe properly." Surprisingly, their advice works.

"Better?" I nod my head. What I feel to be an awkward silence settles between us, but given their peaceful demeanor, it's probably just me.

"You can stay if you want, Lucifer. I don't mind your presence. We can continue talking, or you can simply enjoy the quiet if that's what you'd prefer."

"How are you not scared of me?" The question slips out of my mouth before I can stop myself.

"Pardon?" Zephyr's giving me their full attention now. I shouldn't have said anything.

Because now I can't hold back anymore.

"Most people either see me as a heartless monster or put me on this ridiculously high pedestal. They get so nervous around me that they can't even string two words together, let alone have a proper conversation with me. I wish I can say that my brothers are exceptions to that, but I can't. I still see the fear in their eyes sometimes when they look at me. The only way I've been able to have some degree of companionship is with those in the same position of authority as me, and even then they have to get used to me first before they feel comfortable around me.

"I think you might just be the first to see me as a normal person. Even Diavolo looks at me like I'm a shiny new toy, and he's the closest thing I have to a friend in this godforsaken place. I just don't understand how a previously low-ranking demon is able to do the one thing no one else has been able to do in my entire existence. What do you have that they don't?"

Zephyr sets their pen down. I wouldn't be surprised if they told me to leave. I just dumped a whole lot of trauma on their lap without seeing if they were okay with it.

"Many years ago, I met someone that was pretty similar to you," they respond. "He intimidated everyone they came into contact with due to both his attitude and position. He also tended to push anyone that wanted to get close to him away. I didn't let him do that to me. Even when he screamed at me to go away, I stubbornly stuck around. After a while, he decided that he might as well trust me if I was that determined to stay by his side, and he did. It didn't happen all at once, but little by little, he allowed me to see the more vulnerable, intimate sides of him that he previously kept to himself.

"So, to answer your question, Lucifer, I'd like to think I have a pretty decent amount of patience and compassion. Certainly more than a lot of people in this world."

"Do you still keep in contact with him?" I ask after several moments of silence. The question seems to make Zephyr a bit sad.

"Unfortunately, no. I was forced to move far away from him and assume a new identity. To reach back out to him would put both of us in harm's way, and I care too much about him to do that to him."

"Do you love him?" They don't answer me initially. "I understand if you don't want to tell me. I'm probably overstepping my boundaries--"

"Yes." They look directly into my eyes. "I miss him every single day. If circumstances were different, I would have married him and spent the rest of my life with him. But that simply isn't possible."

"Zephyr, I--"

"It's not your fault, Lucifer. You didn't know." They softly smile. "I've learned a long time ago to not dwell too much on the past, because then you end up missing out on the present, which is chock full of fun and exciting opportunities. Instead, it's best to think of the past as lessons that you've learned, and to use that knowledge to help you grow and develop as a person. Does that make sense?"

Before I can respond to them, someone loudly knocks on the front door. Zephyr hits the power button on their phone to check the time.

"Son of a bitch," they mutter.

"What?" I ask.

"Oh, I told Solomon to pick me up at around nine so that I can drop stuff off at home before we run some errands. It's just that I hoped to be more or less ready to go when he arrived."

"I'm sorry, Zephyr. If I'd known you were expecting him--"

"It's quite alright!" they exclaim. "No need to apologize. I enjoyed talking to you."

Has the study always been this warm, or is it just me?

"I'll at least help you gather your stuff." Zephyr smiles.

"That'd be lovely, Lucifer. Thank you."

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