#instead of actually delving into what this means for them now that they’ve grown as friends

[arcadeghozt]

trying soo hard to shut up abt the way barry’s character was handled in the post-coma seasons but the more i think abt it the more pissed off i get what in gods name were they thinkingggg

[embrassemoi]

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 30

Pairings: Sirius B, F!Reader, Remus L  Warnings: Language, angst, meeting new characters Important Question: do you guys prefer shorter or longer chapters? also, I listened to first love / late spring by Mitski for this ch if anyone else wants to listen along!

【 Masterlist | Previous Chapter | ao3 】

Chapter 30: Like a Tall Child

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Remus was alone for the trip back to King’s Cross; not wanting to be stuck with James or Peter who would only pester him. He mulled over his thoughts as his head rested against the window, watching the scenery whip by. But the more he had time to think, it caused more guilt to build; they were only trying to be supportive. They cared so much, still willing to associated with someone like… him. And all he did was push them away. He didn’t deserve real mates like them.

Remus tried to distract himself: knitting, drawing — reading next year’s material, but settled on pulling out his cartridge of cigarettes. About to light one, his attention was drawn to the soft knocking on the carriage door. Lily was there, waving before coming in.

“Hey,” she said, closing the door and sitting down. “I wanted to say bye for the summer.”

He exhaled, now itching for the rush of nicotine while Lily fidgeted in her seat. He already knew why she was there.

“Sev — Snape — came to me a couple days ago…”

It was impossible to escape, wasn’t it?

“They’re mad, his theories… He’s been telling me the entire year and kept going on about this one story… wild story of you and Y/N and the other Marauders…” Lily looked up nervously.

Instead of getting angry, Remus closed his eyes, feeling himself sink further into the cushions, centring his breathing. “What did he say?”

“He’s been telling me you’re a… a...”

“Werewolf?”

She froze at the word, having to take a deep inhale and suddenly looked paler than usual. Remus wanted to jump out of the moving train. “Yes,” she stated, “But I told him to bugger off.”

Lily stopped again, meeting his eyes. “So… It’s true?”

“You can’t tell anyone.”

Lily sat straight, leaning over and even putting a hand on her chest, close to her heart. “I’ll take it to the grave.”

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(Letters between Y/N and friends)

To my lovely Whiskers, I hope your summer has been grand so far. Are you sure you can’t spend time with me? It’s been so lonely. Prongs

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Dear Bambi, Unfortunately, I can’t. Mom’s dragging me to New York for the month. Something about being invited to do a special surgery. Said leaving me alone will do no good. I promise to bring you back a souvenir? How are things with Black? Whiskers

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My adoring, wonderful Whiskers, And it hasn’t. My parents are concerned. They’ve been trying to get me to talk about what happened but I can’t. Dumbledore and McGonagall have already started their punishments. He lost over 200 points for next year, got detention for half the year and he can’t try out for the Quidditch team if he wanted to. I wonder what they’ll do next. I love souvenirs! All things Muggle! Yours truly, Prongs/Bambi/James

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July 20th, 1976 Meet me in Times Square at 1 pm on the 8th. There’s a bench outside a bagel store, there’s no way you’ll miss it. Until next time, Matthew G.

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¡Hola! Greetings from Barcelona! My brothers took a few weeks off to spend time with me to come to Spain with my parents! They’re dragging me to a football game later. I heard they call it ‘soccer’ in North America. M. McKinnon

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Y/N L/N, Hello, I hope you’re having a wonderful break. Your letters are the highlight of my day and they keep me busy. So I hate to inform you that you need to stop sending me letters for now. I’m not supposed to be getting any and my parents are going to start confiscating them if I receive any more. I’m sorry. I can’t wait to see you in the fall. R.A.B

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I’m visiting Tuney with my parents in a few days. She moved to London for a clerical job in March and we’re meeting her boyfriend, Vernon! He sounds nice but she’s told me she’s nervous about me and magic around him. Lily

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Petals! I’m sure you’ll be fine! Who couldn't love you? Write back and tell me what happens!

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Whiskers, I’m with my parents up in Wales in their cottage. I was born there before having to move for my Dad’s work. Also, I think I have to get a rabbit. James always told people that I got my scars from a poorly behaved rabbit and if I’m not seen with one soon, people will start to question. Remus

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Does this mean I get to call you Moony now? Professor Moony? Wales? And that’s where that small accent comes from. It bleeds through when you’re concentrating or relaxing. And a rabbit? At least they’re cute! I’m sure you can just Transfigure a book though. Y/N

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Professor Moony? Haha, okay! And really? I never knew. I’m kind of embarrassed now. I’ve thought about that but at this point, I think it would be easier just to have one.

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Oh no! It’s nice! Gives you personality. I think it suits you well How about… Moody Moony near full moons? And Moody Moony Mondays on Mondays.

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Now you’ve gone too far. Bloody fucking Moody Moony? Have you ever heard of Mad-Eye Moody?

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Would you prefer 'my Moony' then?

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Yes, actually.

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August 6th, 1976

“Hurry up!”

She thudded down from the top of the staircase, dragging her trunk behind while her mother sped out of the terminal door, flagging down one of the zipping yellow taxis with her luggage in hand.

It was strange, being with her mother again after almost a year apart. She hadn’t come to King’s Cross again, instead sending her a bus fare in anticipation of school ending. She hoped for some sort of recognition, any kind of sign that she was missed but was only given a side-armed hug and delved back into work.

Y/N wondered if maybe she just didn’t want her there, hoping she would get lost and never come back. She only had been on a bus in London twice, therefore almost ensuring that she would get lost and would have stayed lost if she didn’t have extra spare change to use a payphone.

Ignoring the crackle of whispers as she strode to the cab, people blatantly stared at her unnatural coloured hair, as she entered the car, slamming the door shut.

“Where ya ladies off too?” Said the driver, pulling out a map from their car door.

“Cranberry Street, Brooklyn Heights.”

It was a quiet drive, aside from the driver drumming their fingers on the steering wheel at the sound of the Bee Gees blasting in the background. She watched other cabs whipping back and forth, people going on with their days, the dirty streets and building under construction.

“Hey, mom?” She asked, reasoning now was a good time to talk about her OWL results. She’d gotten them mere seconds before leaving their house back in London and she’d been putting off looking at the results until now.

She only grunted, flicking through one of her medical journals, jotting down notes. “I don’t have time right now.”

Y/N sighed, that familiar sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach expanded again. “It’s kind of important.”

“Not now.” She waved her hand and ended the conversation.

Thirty minutes later, the cab came to a stop as they grabbed their luggage and strolled up to the brownstone building they were renting for the month.

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Jet lag got to her as she unwinded lounged until finally getting up from bed that morning as her mom rushed around the house. She frantically was putting on shoes, dressed impeccably sharp, no doubt in hopes to make an impression as her eyes flew across her journal. Her feet were scrambling to the door as she flung her bag over her shoulder.

“Have a good d —” And then the door slammed shut.

She stared blankly at the door for a while and then turned around, getting ready for her day. A daint drum of excitement yet nervousness built up, pushing aside that sinking feeling. Today she was going to see Matthew again.

Having a few hours to spare, Y/N walked around, marvelling at the tall buildings and lights before heading into the heart of Time Square, immediately spotting the bench outside the bagel shop. She sat, waiting for him anxiously. She made sure to wear a hat, covering any sight of hair to avoid weird stares and chatter.

But then a few minutes turned into ten and then twenty minutes later.

Slipping out the letter again to make sure, she re-read it. Time Square, at one, today… near the bagel shop…

“Where y’at?”

Her head lifted as she jumped to her feet and pulled each other into a tight hug.

“Matthew!”

His face nuzzled into the side of her neck, arms wrapped around tight as her face pressed gently into his chest. Eventually, she pulled away - arms outstretched to get a good look.

Matthew Gaplin looked different. His hair, coarse and thick, had grown. He was taller, filled out more, tan skin became even tanner from the beating sun and he filled out.

His smile was large. “S’been so long.”

She gave him a small whack!

“Ow!” He jumped back, “What’s wrong wiv ya?”

“I thought you stood me up.”

“Sorry, doing something for Mom. Had to wait on line forever.”

He looked down bashfully, now staring at the hat. His face made a disgusted look. “It’s disgusting out. Why are you wearing —” Curiously lifting the hat, his lids widened astronomically as Y/N grabbed it, covering her wild hair.

“I told you,” she hissed.

“Right the Potter sport!” He gave a full-body laugh. “Oh come on, I wanna see it again!”

But her hand clamped down on that hat to prevent him from pulling it off. “No! The Muggles keep judging —“

“Muggles?” Matthew’s brows furrowed. “The fuck is a Muggle? Sounds… demeaning.”

“Sorry, it’s what they call No-Majs.”

“Ahh,” and then he moved to loop an arm around her shoulders and continued to walk. “Too good to use ol’American terms?”

“Turned British snob.”

They laughed loudly as he took charge, showing her around the city. There was something so calming amid the chaos of New York. The bustle, low chatter and his enthusiasm made it all the better.

Soon enough, after hours of walking around, they both came to a stop in a large park as they grew hungry. Matthew disappeared for a while, leaving her alone to lay down on the soft grass before returning, holding up a brown bag with two drinks.

“Got us bagels wiv schmear.”

She mumbled out a thanks and took it from him as he sat down on the grass beside her.

“Missed ya, really.”

She shoved him playfully, his head dropping bashfully. “Shut up.”

It stayed quiet for a bit, as they listened to the birds chirping until he broke the silence again. “Ya thinkin’ ‘bout moving back eventually, right?”

“Why?”

Matthew gave her a haughty look, contemplating his words carefully. “Do ya… not know? They’re losing the war.”

Momentary terror gripped her heart but she swallowed it down fast. “Matthew,” her voice dropped, “Please, I want a fun summer… can we not talk about the war? I have more than enough time to worry later."

He wanted to keep talking, worried for his good friend but he refrained, biting down on his lip and nodded stiffly.

“So…” he thought to himself, contemplating how to change the direction of their conversation and fast. “Fess up, what’s been goin’ on over there.”

“Huh?”

“You’re telling me you haven't — what is it called? Kissing?”

“Snogging?”

He smiled. “You’re telling me you haven’t snogged anyone of those rich Old-Majs yet?”

“Nope!” She spoke too quickly and voice was a little too high.

“Liar. Ya going tell me who then?” Y/N looked down, hand going to fiddle with the fem of her clothes while Matthew shook her. “Come on! Tell me!”

“Fine! His name is Sirius Black.”

Matthew's eyes widened in recognition as he sat upright. “You don’t mean the Black family? Gawd! No way!”

“What?”

“And ya don’t even know!” Matthew was full of amusement. “They’re one of the oldest wizarding families out there! Are you still wiv him?”

Y/N stopped, trying to conceal a chuckle. She didn’t have it in her to lie anymore. “No! He almost got me killed.”

“Ha. Ha, very clever. Fine, don’t tell me.”

“You? Anything exciting?”

Matthew snorted. “Fought over a fin if that counts as exciting.”

“You know that’s not what I'm talking about,” she teased.

He abruptly became very serious and it had Y/N sitting up straighter. Matthew breathed in, this time not looking at her but instead at his metal pop can. “I’ve… had a tumble wiv a few... didn’t matter their… genders.”

It took a second for his words to click in but when it did, her mouth fell open and saw his face fall as she pulled him into a tight hug. “I don’t care who you cop, just be safe and have fun.”

He mumbled into her shoulder. “Been rehearsing that since I knew you were visitin’.”

“Love ya, could never judge you.” He tried to look insulted from the babying but prickled with tears before wiping them away quickly.

“Bless ya!”

“You alright though?”

“Now that I know your reaction, never betta. Now, you talk, enough ‘bout me.”

After making sure he was okay, Y/N prattled about Hogwarts. Matthew would pop in a few times, asking her to clarify or ask what words the British used — he often called her his ‘British insight.’ She rambled much about her day, her new friends but made sure to leave out a few details. Matthew became peculiarly silent through most of her speech. It wasn’t like him to not try to speak up, but he looked at her with something she’d only seen a few times prior.

Matthew stared at her for a long time, analyzing with underlying adoration. “What did them Brits do to ya?”

She looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “Ya sound different.” He says calmly, going to sip on his pop. “Talk funny.”

“Tawk funny,” she mocked and earned a shove. “Different? How so?”

“Everything ‘bout you seems different. Y’look happier,” he smiles, although there was a twinge of hurt. “Talk softer, look different — move differently and ya voice sounds different… but the same.”

She takes a bit of her food. “I hope that isn’t a bad thing.”

Matthew smiles gently, sheepish but there. “Not at all.”

She smiled back. Matthew always knew how to make her smile and it felt good, normal.

“Happy looks good on ya.”

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She finally sat down, tired from the long day she spent wandering the city. But it wasn’t long until a tapping sound came from the window. Celeste was there, waiting with a letter in her beak. She walked up to her, letting her fly inside and opened the letter.

Got my OWL results. Outstanding in Astronomy, DADA, Charms, Transfigs. Exceeds Expectations in everything else but an Acceptable in Potions. Moony

She re-read that last part. Remus getting Acceptable in Potions? Her attention travelled to the stark white envelope peeking out from the side pocket of her carry-on. She marched up to it, ripping it open and scanned the paper.

Outstanding in Transfiguration, Potions and Herbology, Arithmancy. Exceeds Expectations in everything else except Poor in History of Magic. She cringed at that.

She immediately got up from her seat. Rushing over to the master bedroom, peeking her head in. “Mom?” She said quietly, “Can I talk to you.”

“Didn’t I tell you I was busy?” Her voice cut through. “It’s not the time to be a nuisance.”

A scorching feeling of anger thrummed through her but kept her voice low and steady. “That was a few days ago.”

"My answer didn't change."

Any semblance of calm vanished. “It’s about my OWLs. My future. I need some sort of guidance.”

“I wouldn’t understand them,” she sighed and peered up. There was an odd expression, borderlining on confusion and something else. “It’s not the same. I’m not a… witch like you are. I don’t know how to help you.”

“I’ll make it into No-Maj terms?” Y/N’s voice was tight and came rushing over to where she sat on the couch. And laid out her examination results. “Look, an O is the same as getting an A! It’s the highest grade you can get. And here,” she pointed, “My teacher, Professor Slughorn, invites me to parties because of my work in Potions class. I’m one of his top students.”

She glanced at her mom excitedly but was met with a look of annoyance and slight judgement. But she continued, “A-and in Herbology I'm doing excellent too! I was becoming interested in becoming a Healer. I told you in my letters. It’s similar to being —”

“I’m sorry,” her mother said but it didn’t have any trace of guilt or sorrow, “I’m busy and you’re getting in the way of work — my achievements — that you know are important.”

“Are mine not important?”

A thick, profound silence filled the space between them. Everything about the connotation had her averting her body, feeling the sinking in her chest explode. From the war, traumatic near death experience and her mother's constant aloof nature, it was her cracking point.

Snatching the OWLs results, she walked out the door, shutting it gently before diving into her room; throwing the covers over her head.

All the New-Maj and No-Maj children were told stories of the Boogeyman. To Y/N, it felt comparable to reverting to a small child as she tucked herself into a tight ball. She recalled watching all the other children running up their parents, being roped with large hugs and smiles, surrounded with infinite quantities of love as they left the school playground. She remembered being envious, wanting to have two parents as the images of the Boogeyman drew near.

There was an overwhelming sense to scream — to cry out for guidance as the knot in her stomach grew. Instead of her mother coming to her rescue — to reassure, to give any sense of security or safety while other parents would scare off the Boogeyman or monsters ready to nip at their children’s toes under the bed, Y/N was left in the dark as all sense of relief or love vanished. It left her vulnerable, exposed to the monsters lurking in the dark.

Her mother may have not been physically absent but it sure felt like it.

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【 Next Chapter 】

Slang dictionary:

Fin = $5 / five dollar bill Bagels with schmear = bagels with cream cheese Wait on line = the same as 'Wait in line' Pop = Canadian slang for soda / soft drinks Sport / old sport = (depending on the context) a term of endearment similar to buddy, pal, friend

© gotkindabored 2021. Do not repost or modify

[dreamingsnowflake2013]

The Marriage Argument: Tharn’s Perspective

Both Tharn and Type have valid arguments about the marriage so they have inevitably been bound to clash. The reason for the clash is that they’re two people who have been formed by very different experiences, including their individual past traumas, making them into the men they are now: an idealist with a streak for eternal optimism and a realist with a tendecy for negativity; an all-out gay and a former homophobe; a hopeless romantic and a cynical pragmatic, someone who’s loved before and was broken by it and a man who is in love for the first time in his life.

Season 1 focused on Type’s problems, flaws and character developemnt as he had come a very long way. And although Tharn’s issues were addressed, they have never been completely resolved, therefore the focus in Season 2 shifts towards him and delves deeper into his character: his insecurities, hopes and personality traits.  

It’s not only their differences which divide them, but also what they have in common because like repels like, so while Tharn and Type differ in many ways, they are viscerally and uncannily similar in others, which is something many people don’t realise. THEY ARE BOTH FIGHTERS - strong, stubborn as mules and immensely brave - who have overcome huge obstacles, not only in their relationship, but also as individuals. For instance, everyone talks about how stubborn Type is, but it gets rarely mentioned that Tharn is as stubborn, if not even more. He merely isn’t so loud about it.

The most important and inherent aspect of Tharn’s personality is that he is an idealist who has always wished for the impossible and fought losing battles, ultimately having his wishes granted and winning those battles most of the times due to his dogged stubborness and refusal to budge and give up on what he believes in. He’s been like this for most of his life, even before we met him in S01E01, so when some people claim that the Tharn in Season 2 is not the same Tharn, they never really known him or understood him. Therefore, it there is one quote that perfectly describes Tharn in both seasons, it is this one:

Tharn’s always dreamed the impossible dream: to study music, for Type to love him and only him one day. 

Furthermore, he’s fought against the odds and opposition: the prejudice against his sexuality, his parents’ initial refusal to allow him study music, Type’s bullying, Type wanting to keep their relationship a secret from everyone else,... and he has overcome and defeated all of them with his unrelenting optimism and relentless refusal to give up. He still believed in love despite all his terrible breakups and didn’t give up on Type no matter how badly Type treated him, believing Type is a good person.

The very qualities that stopped Than from moving out of the dorm when Type harassed him 7 years ago, leading to them being together, and enabled him to live his life the way he wanted and to win Type’s love, despite the fact he was fighting a losing battle each time - tenacity and pride and insane stubbornness - are both his greatest strengths and greatest weaknesses. So once again Tharn hopes for the impossible: this time, it’s marriage.

Tharn accepted himself a long time ago, coming out to his parents when he was in 12th grade, openly admitting that he was gay in school and later, in work, as well. Unlike Type, he is an all-out gay, therefore he is in a very different place than his lover. However, he, too, had struggled with it. It took him 4 years before he dared to come out to his parents and publicly reveal he’s gay. So ever since, he’s been dealing with everything that comes with it, both the positive and negative. There must have been times when Tharn was marginalized, discriminated against and felt inferior due to his sexual orientation, most noticebly while being bullied by a certain homophobic roommate. 

On the other hand, while Type told his family and friends about his relationship, he’s never come out publicly, so he still lacks the final step and the experience that comes with it.

Performing at his own brother's engagement party the love song he wrote for Type and seeing him propose to the woman he loves, still hurting because Type has refused his own proposal many times and doesn’t want to get married to him, break something inside Tharn. 

He wants the same thing, but he can’t have it and that makes him hurt, desolate, bitter and envious. He’s been with Type much longer than Thorn with Aom and they’ve been through so much, earning their right to be together, yet marriage seems like an impossible dream, the only thing that Type has refused to give him. Not only does he feel cheated of something that should be his, but it makes him feel inferior, marginalized and not good enough. 

Because if he were a woman, Type wouldn’t refuse to talk about him with his co-workers and would have agreed to marry him a long time ago. Instead,Tharn has to come up with excuse why he won't introduce his boyfriend to his collegues. This has been an ongoing issue since season 1. 

 And this is where those who argue that if Type doesn't want to get married Tharn shouldn't make him completely misunderstand the problem - the marriage is only a symbol, representing equality and Tharn's desire to be like any other couple in all the things that matter.

While Tharn can compromise a lot, he is no doormat and has a certain set of morals and beliefs he will never break. He has enough self-worth to know that he deserves better. Once again, it’s the same quality which didn’t allow him to move out of the dorm when Type bullied him. So it says a lot that the only time Tharn seriously contemplated breaking up with Type was when he thought Type slept with Puifai. He couldn’t bear to be treated as second rate, a spare tire, a mistress and a dirty secret and share Type with someone else. It’s a line he will never be able to cross, his pride and heart won’t allow it. Tharn wants equality, thus he wants it all, wants what everyone else has. And being denied marriage to the love of his life makes him feel incomplete, deficient, depraved, as if he were somehow undeserving of it.

Speaking of inferiority, Tharn has never gotten over his abandonment issues: being dumped by all his past lovers, including Tar, his first love,... In fact, it has actually become worse when Type broke up with him 7 years ago. It might have been fake, but Tharn didn’t know that back then, so the heartbreak he felt was real - his body, his heart and his mind went through a real breakup and they remember it all. 

The thing with traumas is that while you might heal and overcome them, you will never forget about them because they leave behind traces, scars that will hurt from time to time and never let you forget about them. During his formative years, Tharn got used to being thrown away and Type’s abandoment was the one that cut him the deepest. Because of all this, Tharn  developed a deeply-rooted and hidden inferiority complex together with his fear of being left behind. Deep down, he always worries that he isn’t good enough and that no matter how hard he tries, he will be abandoned in the end. 

The scar caused by Type’s breakup has never healed and was left to fester, staying latent over the years, and it’s always been only a matter of time before it reared its ugly head. There is always a price to pay eventually and the consequences of that breakup have been merely postponed. 

The mere mention of breakup is enough to trigger Tharn, but hearing Type explaining to Thorn that marriage would make things more messy and difficult when they broke up shatters him, it’s basically the ultimate trigger.

Tharn knows what it feels like to lose Type, he lived through it and it almost destroyed him, so he doesn’t want to experience it ever again because he wouldn’t survive it. Therefore he has been doing everything in his powers to prevent it and bind Type to him in every way possible, desperately trying to stop him from leaving and himself from being abandoned once again. 

And marriage is one of those bonds, actually, it’s a real palpable bond that binds a person’s life to another. It involves people making a sacred and legally binding promise, proclaiming their love publicly, in front of eveyone, and they exchange rings, the symbol of the bond and eternity, as well. In some cultures, the couple’s ahnds get literally binded together. So it’s no wonder that Tharn desires to get married to Type so much. 

Moreover, a proposal, an engagement party and a wedding ceremony are incredibly romantic moments and Tharn is the ultimate romantic with a penchant for grand romantic gestures and declarations, organizing glamping dates on rooftops, giving his boyfriend red roses,... therefore he does want to do it all.

Finally, the primary reason for the inferiority complex and fear of abandonment comes from the fact that THARN IS A MIDDLE CHILD. His family is very loving and he’s never been neglected, but being a middle child means he is neither fish nor fowl, neither the oldest or the youngest. He’s grown used to taking himself out of the equation, to compromise and to share the love of his parents with his siblings. So he desperately wants someone to be only his, someone who he doesn’t have to share with anyone; HE WANTS TYPE AND HIS LOVE TO BELONG ONLY TO HIM, COMPLETELY AND UNCONDITIONALLY. It’s a visceral need on his part and the reason behind his strong jealous streak.

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Having finished S1 of Naruto, I’m really not sure how this got a second season. It’s not that it’s so bad that I think it doesn’t deserve one, but that it’s so poorly structured that it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me how it retained anyone’s attention long enough to warrant a second season.

The series starts immediately with the hook which is good, that’s what it’s supposed to do. We meet Naruto, we learn about what it means to be a Ninja, and we learn that some of them have special powers, typical anime hook.

But then after that opener where Naruto becomes a ninja, the next few episodes are mindless filler with no real significance to the plot outside of introducing Kakashi.

Then we have the big stuff like their first mission to escort the bridge builder, which leads into interesting conflict and character development, ending with a climactic battle on the bridge which arguably should’ve been the season finale.

But no, then it leads into a written test which admittedly was a neat fakeout moment but still, no combat, just a rapidfire way to introduce several new characters all at once without really delving deep into any of them.

And the kicker is that the last episode of the season is nothing more than a recap of the entire season up to this point, with nothing new added. Like, I think if I was watching this live and that was the season finale, I’d lose my shit over how bad of a season finale that was.

Personally, I think the season should’ve been structured like this: Start with the hook, same as it actually does.

Follow it up with the test. Now I know the test is meant for more advanced ninja, so it wouldn’t be believable if they just became ninja and now are magically advancing to the next rank immediately after, but ultimately what it comes down to is that the test isn’t a good way to end a season. If it was a fighting test that’d be one thing, but ending the season with a written test gives off the wrong impression of what this show is actually about. Make this the test to become a ninja instead, I don’t know. Maybe this is Pt. 2 of the ninja test. You can still introduce all the new characters just the same if teasing them w/o actually developing them yet is the point. That’s fine.

Then you’ve maybe earned some downtime by following it up with filler. Arguably there should never be filler, but w/e it’s a Shonen so I get it.

Then cap it all off with their first mission to escort the bridge builder. That is a much better end to the first season of the show because it leaves us all with the impression that this show is about ninjas completing missions, fighting bad ninjas, and learning new skills along the way. The end of the fight even leaves us with a better impression that the show is going to probably cover some heavier topics like death and how to treat others or w/e.

Then cut the recap altogether. The season is 26 episodes long, 20 if you cut out the filler and the recap. There’s really no reason for a recap at this point. By the end of the season, assuming we ended on the bridge fight, we would immediately be able to know everything we’d need to know moving on. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura are all ninja, they’ve grown stronger over the course of the season under Kakashi’s tutelage and through their struggles, but they’ve still got more to do.

Anyways, yes I know I’m ranting about a series that came out like 100 years ago at this point, but you’re the one who clicked “Read More” so that’s on you.

[jack-is-lost]

If you made your own, perfect, self indulgent film, or series, what would it be about, look like and what details would be essential?

Hmm, hard to say, really. I feel I’ve pondered over something similar in the past, which resorted to more fanfiction ideas, but I never delved too deep. Besides, what I might reply with now could evolve into an entirely different indulgent weeks, months, or a year from now. I’ll do my best to answer, though! Fair warning topics of death, and all that comes with it, are mentioned.

First, due to my unhealthy obsession, it would be supernatural-themed. Most likely a world where they are coexisting with humans, the average beings, but not exactly out publicly. I enjoy that world-building structure that, for the most part, humanity goes about their life unbeknownst that these ‘stories’ they’ve grown up with hold actual physical truth to them — not just metaphorical.

Another weakness of mine is taking a normal person and having them fall down this rabbit hole into the unknown. Preferably due to a life-altering situation. The reason the supernatural world reveals itself to the protagonist needs to be dire, blood pumping, and basically thrilling. I don’t mind the whole ‘I fell in love with so-and-so and now I’m apart of their world’, but I would avoid it being the pivotal point in my film/series. 

Instead, it is a friend and the life-altering situation would be a near-death moment. These would be essential, the turning points and anchor. Perhaps, the protagonist was out hanging with a friend they’ve known all their life, through school (currently in high-school), and that night things uncontrollably go downhill. Many thoughts come to mind of how it would go down; car accident, being held at gunpoint while at a convenience store, a freak accident at a theme park. Something out of their hands that causes the friend to act or else death would occur. It is heated, no thought just action, and suddenly there are so many questions needing to be answered. So the protagonist starts to fall down that metaphorical hole into wonderland, but — like in so many already established films/shows — having a mortal being apart of their world is dangerous. Dangerous for them and the beings hidden within plain sight. Yes, what their friend did was heroic but also frowned upon by their own kind. Discussion of what to do with the protagonist is heavy on everyone’s mind. Change them? Wipe their memory? Kill them? Within days of having their eyes open to so much, enough time to have the confusion and fear evolve into wonderment, it is decided to repress their memories. Like a fish caught on a hook, the protagonist is tossed back to sea to blindly follow the current. What I’ve mentioned would be the first portion of a film or the first few episodes of the series. It builds up, allowing the audience to know there is more — to gain a taste of wanting to only be denied alongside the main character. To also dig emotionally deeper, said friend has to distance themself in fear of triggering memories. Something could cause those repressed life-changing moments to unravel, so they back off. Calls start to go unanswered, text messages are few and in-between, and physically hanging out just stops altogether. This makes the protagonist at first resentful, upset not knowing what they did wrong — if they did anything wrong. They simply shrug it off at one point, deciding that — like so many friendships often due, theirs is simply fading. So life goes on and a time skip occurs. It is the beginning of the build-up that leads to the middle of the film/series. The protagonist is older, perhaps in their late twenties to early thirties, and they’ve followed this path to become a Crime Scene/Homicide Investigator. Known as a specialist in their field and very dedicated to their work. As the movie/series builds up to that middle act, their world once again starts to ripple like a reflection on water. Especially as they are called to an unusual scene. It is gruesome, animalistic, limbs were strewn across the dark street. And, as they kneel down to pull back the tarp to have a good look at the victim, another investigator crouches beside them. Something is off by how this person’s gaze takes in the scene, how their voice mutters visual statements, and this familiar pull inside their own head. Our protagonist has this inkling feeling they’ve met before. It isn’t until their eyes meet that it dawns on them. Despite it being more than a decade with no contact, it is their friend right beside them. They are older, face harder. Somehow, without any influence on each other, they’ve walked the same career path. And, without purposefully meaning to, found themselves teaming up as districts overlap. Except for one crucial key; their friend has specialized in supernatural criminology. The scene before them is a hot mess that pulls two parties together to solve the case. Creatures and humans equally killing and being murdered. This is where a love interest would slowly build-up — the faintest of possibilities, as they focus on solving what could be the biggest serial killer case ever. Foggy memories do start to surface, but they are old and blurry childhood moments. They could easily be deluded by watching too many horror movies, and that is how the protagonist reasons it. Yet, the further they work this job together, the more the main character has to know. The more they need to seek answers and start to avidly search between the cracks. A huge “I knew it!” moment would occur when they come face to face with the serial killer. Who is, indeed, a supernatural creature. However, being older and more trained, the protagonist doesn’t falter in the midst of a fight sequence. They might exclaim it, joke with their temporary partner on the case, but their finger is still hovering over the trigger — their gaze on the killer. Thus, this is the ‘climax’ of the story — the reveal and blood-pumping action. And, as the main character humanly try to go up against a real-life brutal monster, our protagonist is severely injured. Except now the friend/partner wasn’t there to deflect the final blow. The battle is still going as the protagonist lays upon the ground, bleeding out and fighting to breathe. That is where we see a flashback to the first incident, back to the beginning of the show/film. Their vision is a clouded memory as they blindly look up to the weathered ceiling. The pain is fading to the point they let out one of those dry chuckles while thinking fate is cruel. That they are apart of something like Final Destination to where they probably should have died back then, and now fate is rearing its ugly mug at them again. Their friend rushes to their side, the battle over, and the main character missing the ending. It isn’t though they could care much about that for their world is fading, their life leaking out of them with every slow pulse. The friend asks them then, disregarding rules and regulations, and ask if they don’t want to die. They need permission, consent, but the response is slurred and broken. Did they want whatever their friend was truly asking of them? To be a monster? They can feel the friend’s grasp within theirs, stronger than their own returning squeeze. The darkness is starting to crawl, starting to swallow their vision, and they stare up at the being who they were beginning to love all over again — more than a friend in this second chance gifted to them, and they smile. They don’t nod or shake their head. They don’t whisper an answer, but instead, allow the grim reaper to do its job. For if they were meant for the world hidden by plain sight, they would have been born for it. The ending of this show is remorseful, no doubt. We have this heroic symbol as the funeral plays out. The friend, the blossoming love interest, being the last one to lay a flower upon the grave. Now we see it from their perspective, the loss and grief. Loss of having to stop being friends, the enjoyment of meeting up again and playing a major role in their life, to the grief of losing them so soon. It would end on this sad note because it is how life works, and I’d want to solidify the hard realities within the wonderment. Yet, if a second season or a sequel were to happen, it would be through their gaze. How they deal with it and move forward, and how they find companionship again many, many years down the line. Especially when another supernatural creature has this light in their eyes when they smile a certain familiar way. They are new on the job and being saddled up with them to get field experience, nothing unusual. However, the way they laugh — how they freely speak their mind, reminds them of someone else and a part of them wonders deep down that maybe, just maybe, fate isn’t as heartless as it seemed. It really feels like their friend is right there beside them as they fall back into the fray of solving homicide cases.

[tea-at-221]

The TJLC Debacle: 3 years out from S4 and counting; the copyright mini-theory; so much salt I’m bloated; but in the end, there is peace (I love you Johnlockers)

Ugh, don't even talk to me about Mary.

Don't even talk to me about the way Mofftiss have said they're sick of responding to fans on the subject of Johnlock. Of how they've said they're "not telling anyone else what to think or write about them" (as if they could stop us; as if they even own Sherlock themselves. Do keep reading, because this point becomes much more relevant and in-jokey later on). Don't even mention how they've bitched and whined incessantly because--god forbid--fans got *really really* into their show and emotionally invested.

They're so eager to discount all the beautiful little moments they wrote as accidents. And Arwel, who planted all those props, continually demonstrates that he's on their side (a not-very in-depth-analysis of his Instagram account and the way he interacted with fans towards the beginning of the pandemic showed as much, but I think maybe he’s grown a bit wiser and quieter since at least in terms of Johnlock and all things elephant-related. I don’t know for sure because I stopped looking.)

Anyway--they'd actually prefer for us to celebrate our own intelligence, is I suppose a charitable way of looking at it: our ability to make connections between things in the show; our metas on symbolism; our insightful fanfic; etc., and denounce them as the bad writers that they ultimately are.

More under the cut.

(This post may be of interest to you especially if you came to the fandom a bit later: multiple links to things of relevance/quotes/explanations appear both within and at the end of this entry.)

Because what makes a writer good?

Well, an ability to make people feel an emotional connection to their work, for one. I know this is just my own perspective, but if not for Johnlock, all my emotion about the show would evaporate. There wouldn't be much else there. Other people might get something, but I wouldn’t. Is some of the writing witty and entertaining regardless of any inferred/implied Johnlock? Yeah but, eh, a lot of shows have some good writing and I just don’t give a damn about them.

What makes a writer good?

Not making promises to the reader/viewer that they'll never keep. Plot holes, leading dialogue ("There’s stuff you wanted to say...but didn’t say it.” “Yeah”) never followed through on, puns that are apparently, I suppose, unintentional (e.g. "'Previous' commander?" "I meant 'ex'").

Uh, not writing continual gay jokes that aren't actually pointing toward the inference that people are making them because there's actually something going on there under the surface. (How about just don't make those jokes ever.)

Not being, apparently, oblivious (? questionable) to the queerbaiting they're engaging in *as they’re writing it.*

Acting like their LGBT audience is in the wrong/the bad guy, instead of choosing to remain respectful in the face of dissent. Instead it's just, "we never wrote it that way" / "We never played it that way."

A lot of those other mildly witty shows don’t actually blatantly drag their most passionate fans face-down through the mud the writers themselves created. Imagine that.

I'm not even a fan of Martin Freeman anymore, for the way he handled the whole thing (getting angry, the comments he made about how the fans made Sherlock “not fun anymore”...apparently Martin’s packing up his crayons and going home?)...no offense to anyone who is still a fan of his. I don’t make it a habit to drag him. I do to some degree understand his frustration with having the whole situation taken out on him--he’s just an actor in the show--but I simply wish he’d remained as cool and professional about it as Benedict Cumberbatch instead of pointing at the fans. You’re pointing in the wrong direction, mate.

What also irks me at the end of the day is this: the subsection of people who legitimately responded badly to the TJLC/S4 debacle and went above and beyond to harass the writers and actors/actresses on social media are *few and far between*, but we've been lumped in with them by what feels like...everyone, Martin included. TJLCers/Johnlockers (not the same group, but often treated as such) have been made to look like a bunch of rambunctious, immature, demanding children time and time and again in the wake of S4.

They'd rather, what, suggest John was so in love with Mary? THAT was the relationship they wanted to uphold in that show as so significant and...what, a demonstration of how honorable it is to respect your heterosexual relationship despite, you know...ANYTHING?

Yeah sorry, I don’t believe in that. John’s text-based affair, whether a disappointment for some as to his supposed character, was a very human reaction and I kinda sorta feel like I would have reacted MUCH more strongly than that had I been John. But nope. He stayed with Mary and was *ashamed* of his wandering eye. Ashamed that maybe he wanted to be admired by someone. I can’t think of a scene, off the top of my head, where Mary ever interacted with John without belittling him in some way--if not with words, then with consistently patronizing glances.

The message here is that heterosexuality is not just acceptable, but VALUABLE, however it manifests--but god forbid anyone see a queer subtext. (Why are lgbt+ writers some of the very WORST offenders where this is concerned? And they defend it! Is this childhood nostalgia/Stockholm Syndrome of the very fondest variety or what? Gay angst is all they got if they got anything at all, so it’s still good enough as far as “representation” goes?)

They really want to tell the story of John as so emotionally/mentally fucked up that he surrounds himself with unstable people time and again. They never give any reason *why* he might do that (which they could have done even soooo subtly), or delve into his past--just, apparently it's okay to assume that Sherlock's comment about "she's like that because you chose her" is exactly that.

No. Sherlock and Mary are NOT the same. Not...*remotely*!

Mary is underhanded and evil. She lies. She manipulates. She schemes. Her “love” is based on selfishness, and her assumption that John is a simpleton and hers to mold. She's in it for herself.

Sherlock hides. He prevaricates. He feels. He loves John. He does fucked up things in the name of love, but always for the benefit of those he loves. When he screws up, which he obviously does, it’s painful to us as the audience because we see that it is painful for him when he recognizes and regrets it.

I have never seen Mary regret anything. Those crocodile tears at Christmas? More manipulation. Inconsistent with anything else we were shown about her as a character.

To even think for a SECOND that people could ship Mary and John and mentally condemn John for cheating on Mary AFTER SHE SHOT HIS BEST FRIEND...as if marriage is the be-all-end-all free pass in which every sin must be forgiven until the end of time...as if John broke any covenant with his wife beyond those she broke from the very moment she walked into his life *with an entire fake past.* Is just. Well. It's asking us to accept gaslighting as healthy, loving, normal, *preferable* behavior, so...given the source that message is coming from, it's all a bit meta.

THAT. Is insanity. Maybe Mofftiss are the sociopaths.

How these men could write characters they themselves understand so little (or tell us they understand so little because their emotional maturity has yet to surpass that of the average three-year-old’s), I will never know. I can only imagine that they have absorbed, by osmosis over their lives, real and nuanced human behavior...then churned it back out again in their writing unaware, a bit like psychopaths who teach themselves what "normal" people do so that they can pass as psychologically sound in regular society.

Remember, we *are* talking about men who do these sorts of things:

Moffat says that Sherlock is celibate and that people who claim he's misogynistic when he does things like make Irene Adler imply she's attracted to the detective (even though she's a lesbian) are, ironically, "deeply offensive" (despite lines like "look at us both" in Battersea. We aren't your therapists, Moffat--we don't care what you meant, we care what you said, and what you *said* was clear. *Implying* it does not let you off the hook).

Gatiss has proclaimed that "I find flirting with the homoeroticism in Sherlock much more interesting" than the idea of ever making a show addressing LGBT issues. (That link is to a reddit forum, and I can't find the original interview anymore, but I assure you I had seen the actual article myself ages back and can't find it online again now along with some of the Martin quotes I wanted to link to. And nevermind what Gatiss has done with LGBT shows/issues since--my focus here is on what he has said, versus what he and Moffat have since claimed regarding their queerbaiting.)

Here’s a transcript of this screenshot:

"...many people come up and say they didn't realise." Despite this lack of public awareness, being part of the gay community is clearly important to Gatiss: "The older I get the more I want to give something back. I mean, I keep meaning to do something." When asked if he'd be interested in making a series about gay issues his response was enlightening:

"No, I don't think I'd make a kind of gay programme. It's much more interesting when it's not about a single issue. And equally, I find flirting with the homoeroticism in Sherlock much more interesting. Of course this reflects the grand picture of everyone's strange make-up; there are good gay people and bad gay people. I wouldn't like to make an issue film around the culture of being gay."

Instead Gatiss' interest seems to lie in making a drama where sexuality is, if not mundane, part of the wider framework: "I'd quite like to do something about a quite happy, ordinary gay person who's just incidentally gay. For example, a three-part thriller for ITV where the lead character just happens to be gay; when they finally go home, say 45 minutes in, and they had a same sex partner. That to me would be genuinely progressive. It wouldn't be a three-part gay thriller for ITV. It would be that this character just happened to be gay."

--End article quote.

And instead, who is canonically gay in the series? Well, Irene Adler. The innkeepers at the Cross Keys. And perhaps most notably, the *villains*, because that's a helpful trope: Moriarty and Eurus are, in S4, both implied to be at least bisexual.

Any character should be able to be any sexuality, this is true. But can we have some main characters, the good guys, give some good representation? Can't we start making that the standard, rather than the villains and the background characters? Because so far, that is the exception and not the rule.

Writers need to be aware of the damage they are perpetuating. We are not quite in a world yet where any character should be able to be any sexuality but isn't, yet we have no problem with saying the villain is LGBT+ or looks different/functions differently than much of the viewing audience.

"Male friendship is important and valid, not everything has to be gay"--this is a popular point with casual heterosexual viewers (and, to my chagrin, some of my LGBT+ friends) who don't fully grasp what "queerbaiting" is, often even when it's pointed out to them.

The lens of heterosexuality is real. My first time through watching BBC Sherlock, I didn't see the Johnlock at all. I had to look for it and read about it. When I saw it, the lens was lifted for me, and it changed my life and the way I view things forever (and for the best).

But back to my point about how little Mofftiss seem to understand their own story/most ardent fans, and then on to my other theory: in S4 it must be that they dropped their “psychopaths emulating empathy” act and indulged in their own "insane wish fulfillment" by doing away with all of the meaning, continuity, and sense. Right?

So, here’s the alternate theory. One which is not, please remember, in their defense.

Remember that S4 is what Mofftiss are *happy* to have us believe is what they'd do with these characters, given the chance to do whatever they wanted. I repeat, in Moffat’s own words: “Insane wish fulfillment.”

Okay I get it, this pasta has been over-salted.

Without further delay: MY COPYRIGHT RESEARCH THEORY THAT EVEN I DON'T PUT MUCH STOCK IN AND WHICH DOESN’T MAKE UP FOR THEIR CRUELTY EVEN IF TRUE

Part of me also raises an eyebrow at S4 as perhaps an example of the effect of the Conan Doyle estate on any modern production in the US. While it’s true that all of Sherlock is part of public domain in the UK and has been for quite a long time, Gatiss and Moffat still talk about it being partially under copyright. Specifically, the last 10 stories. I’m supposing that this means that because Sherlock airs internationally, or due to whatever contract the BBC has with the Doyle estate, they are still limited by the copyright as to what they can “publish”.

The Doyle estate is known for being a pain in the ass when it comes to abiding by copyright law as everyone else knows and practices it. They’ve tried to argue, for example (in 2013 and, much more recently, with the advent of Enola Holmes), that because Holmes and Watson were not fully developed as their final selves until the conclusion of all 10 stories still under copyright, then perhaps the characters themselves should still be protected, basically, in full.

It’s true that certain elements of the remaining stories are still under copyright here in the US (Watson had more than one wife--uh huh, we have that to look forward to, Johnlockers; the Garridebs moment is still under copyright--yeah, I’m getting to that too; and Sherlock didn’t care much for dogs til later so that’s not allowed either, fuck off Redbeard), but the estate’s problem in 2013 seemed to be based around a fear that *gasp* some day--if not right now!--anyone could write a Sherlock Holmes story in any way they pleased, changing the characters however they wished to and giving those characters “multiple personalities.”

See the following excerpt from the Estate’s case:

“...at any given point in their fictional lives, the two men's characters depend on the Ten Stories. It is impossible to split the characters into public domain versions and complete versions.”

(Click for full transcript.)

Obviously, by this point, that’s been done in multiple iterations. So I dunno. Their argument was *more* than muddy to begin with--they just grasp at straws to stay in control, it seems.

But okay. Backing up: wasn’t there sort-of a Garridebs moment in S4?!?? you cry. Yep. But imagine this: the Conan Doyle estate taking Mofftiss to court to argue that they depicted the Garridebs moment--a moment still under copyright--in The Final Problem.

Did they, though? Did they really?

The fandom cried out about the ridiculousness--the utter disappointment--of that moment when it was shown. It was not what we would have expected/wanted. We didn’t see John injured, Sherlock reacting with tender outrage to the good doctor’s attacker.

Instead we saw some ludicrous BS that was as bad as the clown with the sword-gun-umbrella. More of that.

I think Martin probably found that it was easy to produce real tears when he thought about how fucking terrible the S4 scripts were.

Ahem. Yet, this all seems very Mofftiss-flavored in terms of humor.

I can all-too-easily imagine them saying, “HA. We’re going to show some of these supposedly copyrighted things--and if they take us to court, they’ll be laughed out of the room.” Could that explain some of the overall S4 fuckery?

Sherlock wasn’t supposed to like dogs til later stories, as previously mentioned-- is that why Redbeard pulled a “Cinderella’s carriage” and transformed into a pumpkin (Victor Trevor)? Hmm. Sigh.

It...doesn’t actually appear that the estate has any qualms about taking laughable stuff to court, I mean...*shrug.* They have the money to do it, and money is the name of the game, because you’ve got to pay for rights (cha-ching sounds).

Yep, it does seem that the estate is open to the copyrighted materials being made reality, but who knows for what price or with what caveats. The BBC isn’t, so far as I’ve ever heard, known for throwing money around. Early Doctor Who would be so much less entertaining if they’d had any sort of budget. (And in fact, more of the older episodes would exist, but apparently the BBC--in part to cut costs--reused some of their tapes.)

My bottom-line bitter is this: Mofftiss do like to amuse themselves. To please themselves and no one else, as they’ve shown time and again. Sure, they could do whatever they wanted with S4...and they did...but they were also cruel about it, and that’s what I’ll never forgive them--OR the BBC--for.

A lot of fans gave up after series 4. I was very nearly one of them. I was angry, like just about every other Johnlocker and/or TJLCer, but I was really truly heartbroken. I couldn’t look at fanfiction. My days were full of bitterness and I keenly felt the lack of the fandom outlet that had become so essential to my mental well-being. I didn't know how to overcome the disparity between TJLC and what the show actually was. I didn't know how to separate the things I loved so much from the shitty writers and the way the BBC handled things with their whole response letter (that atrocious, childish blanket response they sent to everyone who complained about S4, not just the Johnlockers/TJLCers. Related to your complaint or not, if you filed one post-S4, this was the response you got). I still boycott BBC shows/merchandise, just by the way.

I tried to link to the blanket response letter but the link didn’t want to work (it’s an old reddit post; I had difficulty finding a copy of the letter elsewhere though at one point it wasn’t so hard...Google is weird these days y’all...tell me it’s not just me) so here’s a screenshot:

Transcript:

“Thank you for contacting us about “Sherlock”.

The BBC and Hartswood Films have received feedback from some viewers who were disappointed there was not a romantic resolution to the relationship between Sherlcok and John in the finale of the latest season of “Sherlock”.

We are aware that the majority of this feedback uses the same text posted on websites and circulated on social media.

Through four series and thirteen episodes, Sherlock and John have never shown any romantic or sexual interest in each other. Furthermore, whenever the creators of “Sherlock” have been asked by fans if the relationship might develop in that direction, they have always made it clear that it would not.

Sherlock’s writers, cast and producers have long been firm and vocal supporters of LGBT rights.

The BBC does not accept the allegations leveled at “Sherlock” or its writers, and we wholeheartedly support the creative freedom of the writers to develop the story as they see fit.

We will of course register your disappointment.

Thank you for contacting us.

Kind Regards,

BBC Complaints Team

So how about that? *Did* they “register our disappointment”? We can actually check that. The BBC’s website has a monthly summary of complaints received. So what did they receive in January 2017, the month S4 aired?

Huh, what do you know. Sounds like that blanket response was exactly the “fuck you” it came across as.

But the show--the FANDOM--had filled a need in my life, and so I had to own that and make it mine, or just...let something in me die: something that felt like an actual vital organ. I had to decide that these characters mean something to me beyond what anyone else tells me they should. I had to accept my own perceptions as truth, as I do with everything else in my life. I had to overcome the idea of canon as law (BBC Sherlock isn't canon anyway; ACD is canon. BBC Sherlock is, in the end, badly written fanfiction--or--worse?--decent pre-slash fanfiction distorted by consistent lies and the hazing of the LGBT audience, topped with the dumpster fire of S4′s incoherent nonsense).

I had to take the good and throw away the bad, just like anyone else who chose to stay. The good bits of the show...dialogue, yes. Plot points, yes. These awful writers did write some good stuff sometimes.

They just broke all the unspoken rules of what not to do to your audience. And then did and said everything they could not to apologize, and to justify their own failings. Which, in the years since I began shipping queer ships beyond any others, I have unfortunately experienced more than once.

So, my vulnerability has been yeeted into the vacuum of broke-my-trustdom: no one can tell me what things should mean to me. I will decide.

I decide that all of the FUCKING AMAZING writing in the Sherlock fandom is a staple in my life that makes it worth living. And that that's okay. And takes precedence over anything the writers or anyone else associated with the show could ever say or do.

Johnlock can not be taken away. It doesn't belong to them. It never did, even if they brought us to it. It belongs to us. To the group of amazingly creative, brainy, empathetic, resourceful, vibrant, resilient people who make up this fandom.

So thank YOU, all of YOU, for giving me Sherlock, Johnlock, and TJLC.

I am SO SAD for those who never found a way to make peace with this fandom again. Let me just say that I understand that inability entirely.

I am fortunate that I found the ability in myself to cling to the joy (something it has taken my whole life to be able to do). I hope others will who haven’t yet but wish they could.

Let Mofftiss and whoever sides with them stay angry and bitter and vicious, always looking over their shoulders for anyone who dares to whisper about subtext.

I’m proud to be part of what they’re whispering so angrily about.

Thanks for sticking it out if you made it this far. I know this was very self-indulgent and rambly.

Articles of interest:

A Study in Queerbaiting (Or How Sherlock Got it All Wrong) by Marty Greyson

“We never played it like that.” - Martin on Johnlock

Henry Cavill on the Enola Holmes lawsuit

More on that--and by the way Sherlock isn’t allowed to like dogs

The way Sherlock creators told fans Sherlock & John aren’t gay is so rude

Especially for those new to the fandom who may not know the distinction between TJLC and Johnlockers and want to know more about TJLC's evolution/what it is/meta through the years

Moffat's view on asexuality, offensive to me in particular *as* an asexual person (same article where he claims he isn't misogynistic): "If he was asexual, there would be no tension in that, no fun in that – it's someone who abstains who's interesting."

Yet he says Sherlock isn't gay or straight and that he's trying to keep his brain pure which is a "very Victorian attitude"

(Nice historical research there, Moff--actually the Victorians were sex-positive).

Sherlock fans were robbed of the gay ending they deserved

Benedict Cumberbatch has lashed out at his Sherlock co-star Martin Freeman over his negative attitude towards fans

BBC complaints January 2017

Martin Freeman: 'Sherlock is gayest story ever'

From 2016: UNPOPULAR OPINION: "Sherlock" Isn't Sexist or Queerbaiting; It's Actually Trying to Stage a Revolution

Queer-baiting on the BBC's Sherlock: Addressing the Invalidation of Queer Identities through Online Fan Fiction Communities by Cassidy Sheehan

[d6official]

DAY6: ‘We’ve Always Wanted to Go to India’

The South Korean rock band open about their songwriting process, their aspirations for future records, the definition of authenticity in a world that often dismisses artistry in K-pop and India

I caught up with DAY6 a few months ago via Skype–I’m told the quintet are in the middle of shooting new content for their fans and are dressed in their looks for a video, so it has to be an audio call. I can’t see them and they can’t see me, so of course there’s a lot of giggling, whispering, and moments of ominous silence that then have us all breaking into laughter together. It’s awkward, hilarious and everything you’d imagine a call with DAY6 to be. 

It’s towards the end of the year so there’s a lot going on in the band’s schedule, but they’re an unstoppable force, flying across the globe to complete performances in the U.S. and in Australia. It’s a pretty rare thing to have all five members be able to join in on a single call, so I’m happy to hear all their voices greet me. “We’ve just been on tour and we’re having a good tour so far,” says vocalist and guitarist Jae. “Everyone’s been really welcoming in their countries and really just turning up for us, so we’re happy.” 

DAY6 debuted in September 2015 with leader and guitarist Sungjin, bassist Young K, guitarist Jae, keyboardist Wonpil and drummer Dowoon. All members are trained vocalists, with Young K also doubling as main rapper, and every member contributes to songwriting and production. (The group did have a sixth member, a keyboardist named Junhyeok, but he left in 2016.) Young K also leads the songwriting process, with lyrical contribution in every single track on most of DAY6’s albums. 

The beauty of DAY6’s artistry lies in how versatile they are able to make each track within a single album–in one moment you’re listening to a stadium anthem that’s reminiscent of a young U2, and in the next there’s a segue into Killers-esque post-punk revival. If you’ve been a long-time fan, you probably already know this thanks to their genius ‘Every DAY6’ project through 2017, which saw the band release two songs on the sixth day of almost every month. The result? An expansive, experimentative discography which built two powerful albums– Sunrise and Moonrise–with B-sides that shine just as much as a lead single. Jae explains that there usually isn’t a set idea when they begin an album–a lot of the music is born through songwriting sessions with various producers, where each member gets to go explore any genre they want on their own. It’s a power they’re exercising more and more, especially all through the Book of Us series. “We didn’t really discuss a direction when we started,” Jae says. “Everyone just kind of did what we wanted, which is why the album is a jumble of this and that from everywhere.” In fact songs have a tendency to switch genres in between verses–a great example of this is DAY6’s 2017 single “I Wait.”

The group also credit the genius of JYP Entertainment producer Hong Jisang as a key factor in their creative process. “I think definitely one of our main influences is probably gonna be one of our main producers and that’s Hong Jisang,” says Jae when I ask the band about their musical influences. “He’s a writer that works with us very frequently. For most of our title tracks–actually all of them I think so far. But yeah, he’s definitely one of the main influences because he’s always been kind of our mentor since the beginning of our debut dates… even before that. So he’s been teaching us about songwriting, you know, tracking or melody writing. We have a little bit of a flow just because we’ve grown so close to him as a group.”

“Just one of the reasons why we try any kind of genre or any music is because people do have different tastes in music,” explains Young K. “So if they like at least one of them, then it’s a success for us. Another reason is because we do get to play almost all of them, almost all [their songs] at the concert. So, we do have a chance to show it to the MyDays and the crowd and you get a chance to have fun with it. And I guess it’s just what we aim for as a group.” They’ve stood strong and stuck to their guns when it comes to this process of songwriting and it’s the fuel that expands their creative process, ensuring they don’t stick to one particular sound or vibe.  

I remember back in 2016 when DAY6 began to get more popular, a lot of the attention around them was built of curiosity. As the first band under JYP Entertainment and the one of the first in the third generation of K-pop, both fans and industry professionals were curious to see where the Hallyu Wave would take them. The idea of an ‘idol rock band’ was new to the thousands of fans who had discovered K-pop after the 2016 boom of the genre, and DAY6 didn’t fit any existing stereotype–idol or band. They still don’t, and it’s a powerful statement.

This particular artistic evolution that we’ve seen with DAY6 isn’t easy to achieve in the K-pop idol-sphere of it all; our discussion about artistry in the glittering world of idol culture brings us to the topic of what it’s like to exist as what people believe to be a ‘traditional’ band in the middle of the ‘boy band narrative.’ I ask because it’s something I see often even in India–there’s this idea of authenticity always being tied to the more ‘conventional’ format of a band: artists with their instruments are deemed more ‘legit’ than pop acts. There is an unfortunate tendency among the general public to dismiss artistry created by pop stars and K-pop idols. DAY6 walk the line between the two worlds, and their path to finding that balance often demands a seesaw from one side to another. Have they ever faced a dismissal of their artistry because they’re idols who are also a band? 

“That’s a very deep question,” says Sungjin. There’s a long pause as he gathers his words and then continues, “I personally haven’t seen that big of a difference. We, as a team that emphasizes on writing songs and writing music to appeal to other people, feel that everyone who writes songs or does music has the same objective and goal, therefore [artistry] is the same thing [for every musician.] So we’re not trying to focus on those kinds of factors but just try to focus instead on our music and our creation process so that we could become more authentic artists that appeal to more people.” 

And what is DAY6’s definition of authenticity? 

“When the person who’s creating the music legitimately feels like it’s good music,” says Sungjin firmly.

Right now the authenticity in their songwriting comes from the ordinary. Lead lyricist Young K explains the members draw from everyday experiences and conversations to write songs that are relatable, raw and honest. “Lyrics wise, I could say, we got very cleaned up and very neat. During the times of Every DAY6 project, we were out of time all the time throughout the year,” he says with a laugh. “So, it gave me the lesson of like, always being prepared to write lyrics so that I could pick out a way to find motivation or inspiration. I don’t wait for that inspiration, I gotta always go look for it. For example during everyday conversation, if there’s something or if there’s a word if there’s a phrase that I like, I write it down on my phone.” He pauses for a moment and then sheepishly admits, “To be really honest, I haven’t been doing that for months now. I need to get back on it.” He also says rather than listening to new music, skimming through lyrics is always his go-to move when it comes to evolving his style of storytelling. “So I guess it’s just continuous experiences that helped me to grow and, like you said, evolve.”

I ask the band which of their songs they would recommend to a new listener to help them understand DAY6’s artistry, and there’s a collective hum as they contemplate. “That’s a really difficult question,” says Wonpil. “Maybe ‘You Were Beautiful?’” The rest of the band agree wholeheartedly, and feel the 2017 rock ballad does a great job of summing up who DAY6 are. It’s certainly a fantastic example of the band’s powerful songwriting and their uncanny ability to to delve into topics that are at times a little too real, a little too familiar. 

DAY6’s complex Book of Us series of albums have dealt mainly with the various levels of human interactions, emotions and relationships, each volume diving deeper into the complexities of what makes us who we are. The ‘Us’ in the titles can refer to DAY6 themselves, the relationship between them and their fandom MyDay as well as various other relationships the members might have in their lives. It’s also a general reference to the relationships we as human beings cultivate in our lives. The first album in the series The Book of Us: Gravity was one of their brightest releases, exploring youth and young love. The Book of Us: Entropy was a little heavier, a little more mature, exploring the beginning and end of relationships and how it changes a person. 

The band’s upcoming release of The Book of Us: The Demon is perhaps their most anticipated release yet. Set to drop tomorrow, May 11th, the eight-track EP already hints at a slightly darker route than its predecessors with its title, promising a deeper look into the core meaning of the series. The teaser for the lead single “Zombie” which dropped on May 8th shows the band wandering dazed through crowds while the track itself seems to build on angsty alt rock. DAY6 also dropped an album sampler that hints The Demon cruises through pop rock (“Day and Night”), blues (“Tick Tock”), post-punk revival (“Stop”), acoustic pop (“Afraid”) and more.

In true DAY6 style however, the tracks can change direction in-between, crossing genres from one verse to another. It’s all a surprise right up until we hear the record, which is one of the best things about listening to a new release from this band. While I’m not told any specifics, I’m assured that DAY6 plan to go bigger than ever before when it comes to future releases.  “We want to go to space!” exclaims Dowoon and the band agree enthusiastically. How does space translate sonically? “We want to go for a larger scale of music,” he explains. It’s about dreaming bigger and looking at ways to elevate DAY6’s musicianship. Jae adds, “Yeah, maybe going from just one acoustic guitar to like a full brass band or something.” We discuss possibilities of DAY6 working with an orchestra someday and it’s a pretty fantastic vision. 

Speaking of future plans, I decide to put them on the spot and ask about when we’re getting an India tour. “Whenever you guys call us, we are definitely there!” Jae assures me immediately. Young K and Wonpil explain they are familiar with Bollywood and eager to learn more about it. “I am aware it’s huge there. And recently Katy Perry did something with Bollywood?” asks Young K. We realize he’s referring to the pop diva’s massive November concert in Mumbai with Dua Lipa and he shares that it’s one of the reasons DAY6 are more eager to check out India’s concert scene. “Yeah, I actually heard it from my friend. They were telling me, ‘Yo, you should go to India’ and like wherever it is, we always want to go. If there are people who are willing to listen to us and enjoy with us at the concert, we want to go.” Jae adds, “You guys have a lot of people and for us it’s a new culture and we are always interested in going to different places and seeing new things, trying different foods… naturally the food! So yes, we’ve always wanted to go to India, so call us!” 

We spend the rest of our allotted time together talking planning a show in India for 2020 and although COVID-19 has postponed these plans for now, it’s something the band believe needs to happen. “We definitely wanna see you guys,” says Young K. “It’s always great to go to new places. Until the time that we meet, we want you guys to stay healthy and happy.”

By Riddhi Chakraborty

©️Rolling Stone India

[infinite-xerath]

Runeterra Retcons 5: Janna

Ah Janna: a classic example of League’s older champion design philosophy. While discussing a character’s actual appearance isn’t really my forte, nor is it the point of this series, I do feel like it’s an important aspect to bring up regardless. See, in my honest opinion Janna’s current lore state following the 2015 retcon was actually handled pretty well.

The issue I and many others have is that her design doesn’t really match her lore like, at all. They’ve redesigned her a bit for Wild Rift by giving her more clothes, but that, in my opinion, doesn’t really resolve the larger issue at hand. Before we can delve too deep into the current state of Janna’s lore, however, let’s take a step back and examine how she began as a Champion, and see where things went from there.

Alright, so her first lore portrays her as a mage so in-tune with wind magic that she effectively elevated herself to a higher state of being. At the time, this could easily have put her on-par with mages like Syndra, Zilean and Xerath: other characters who achieved higher states of being through pure skill and mastery of their craft. Sure, her outfit still looked like generic female fantasy get-up #347, but she her archetype was clear enough: wind mage.

Janna’s original lore is… OK. It’s nothing groundbreaking, but it’s fine for what it is: she’s a street orphan who quite literally elevates herself through sheer talent, and now wants to use her new power to help others in need. This was, of course, from a time when the regions of Runeterra weren’t what we know today, and Zaun was apparently more about rampant magics than twisted science. Even still, Riot would go on to update her bio once Zaun became a more science-focus region.

Alright, so this version of Janna is still more-or-less the same as the first, but a little more fleshed out. The most notable change, of course, is the fact that she tends to ally more with Piltover rather than her home due to Zaun’s pollution and reliance on chemtech. Keep in mind that this was a time in which Zaun and Piltover were literally two completely separate cities, as opposed to different layers of the same one. In fact, it could be said that the reason for Janna’s current lore state is because Piltover and Zaun have been retconned into what they are today.

Now, let me clarify that I’ve got no real issue with how Piltover and Zaun are portrayed in the current lore state; in fact, I much prefer what Riot has done with those two regions and how both factions have their ups and downs. In the modern lore state of Runeterra, Piltover is directly responsible for nearly all of the pollution in Zaun, and both sides have their share of dubious science experiments going on. In fact, it’s because of this particular change that Riot chose to retcon Janna once again, and this is where things get complicated.

Before we delve too deep into that particular subject, let’s take a look at Janna’s third, and final lore state in League, shall we? In this bio, Janna is retconned into being a proper wind spirit, rather than a human who simply became a really powerful wind mage. As I’ve said before: I really don’t mind this retcon. It tells a lot about how spirits function in Runeterra and offers some interesting insight into the founding of Piltover and Zaun as a double-layered city.

That said, this was an excellent opportunity for Riot to give Janna a proper VGU and make her into a more spiritual-looking entity, yet they instead chose to keep as a generic fantasy babe with extremely revealing clothing. I mean, look at how the other spirits in Runeterra manifest: Anivia is a giant bird made of ice, Ornn is a big flaming anthropomorphic ram, and the Kindred appear as humanoid ram with a bow and ghostly flying wolf head! Yeah, sure, her Wild Rift design looks BETTER, but it still just makes her look like a typical fantasy elf rather than a literal embodiment of the wind.

There’s also the issue that Janna’s outfit in both incarnations doesn’t do anything to associate her with the region she’s supposed to be tied to: Zaun and Piltover. If anything, her white outfit with the gold trimmings makes her look DEMACIAN. It’s really just a simple case of her design contrasting her lore and character concept: she doesn’t look like a spirit, and she doesn’t look like she’s from Zaun. All of this could have been fixed with a simple VGU, but it seems like this is the design Riot wants to stick with, and thus it is the design we’re stuck with.

So, with all of that said, let’s get into the fixes, shall we? My mission for this rewrite is actually fairly simple: I’m going to give Janna a backstory that maintains her current status as a protective wind deity while ALSO giving a better justification for her appearance. So, without further ado, I give you: my take on the story of Janna. Enjoy.

For ages, mortals have put their faith in the winds. From sailors praying for a good breeze in their sails to children playing with kites, the people of Runeterra have long relied on the wind to bring change, good fortune, and prosperity. Of course, for many the idea that the wind can truly hear such prayers is nothing but a superstition. Those who truly open their ears, however, may hear the wind answer back.

The spirit that would come to be known as Janna began as little more than a small breeze, blowing aimlessly around the southern coasts of Valoran. Every now and then, sailors wishing for a fair breeze would find their requests mysteriously granted, even when the air seemed still only moments prior. Rumors spread, and sightings of a small blue bird appearing just before strong wind became frequent tales among traders. Over time, praying to the Wind Bird became a common ritual for all peoples of the coast, and none held this tradition more fervently than the seafaring folk of Oshra Va’Zaun.

For years, people prayed to the Wind Bird for guidance and protection, building statues and carving charms in her honor. Their belief empowered the spirit further, and it was through them she acquired the name Zephir, meaning “Guardian of Wind.” When uttered by foreign tongues, however, they frequently mispronounced her name as ‘Zephyr.’

Worship of Zephyr became commonplace, until the emperor of Shurima decreed that all “false idols” were to be discarded and the people place their faith only in the Ascended. The temples dedicated to Zephyr in Oshra Va’Zaun were torn down, and yet people continued to carry trinkets depicting her in secret, especially on voyages out to sea.

When the empire fell and Shurima was torn asunder by warring Ascended, the people of Oshra Va’Zaun, now referred to simply as Zaun, prayed to Zephyr for protection. Though her power was lesser than what it had once been, Zephyr nonetheless did all she good to drive back the armies of the Ascended with fierce gales and raging storms. As the war drew to a close, peace finally returned to the people of Zaun, and yet Zephyr was surprised to find her power weakening. In the war’s aftermath, the people of Zaun grew ambitions, wishing to make their city more than just a bustling trade port.

A canal was carved through the isthmus separating Valoran and Shurima, uniting two seas as one. This, in turn, brought peoples from all lands to Zaun in pursuit of greatness, and thus the prayers for fair winds were drowned out by desires of wealth, advancement, and expansion. Soon, Zephyr found herself reduced once more to a faint breeze, drifting aimlessly along the coasts as the world seemed to forget her… That is, until she heard her name spoken on the wind.

The culprit was a young woman named Janna, who had come to Zaun from the far-away kingdom of Demacia. Janna had grown up on tales of the ancient past, devoting her life to studying Valoran’s many myths and legends. Among them, Janna was particularly fascinated by stories of an ancient protector of winds, whose name had been all but lost to time. As the city of Zaun continued its expansion, widening the canal in the process, Janna continued her studies of this fabled guardian, and her fascination only deepened whenever the wind blew past her, as though a presence were calling out to her…

Then, the canal reached its completion, and a grand ceremony was held to celebrate the event. Thousands attended to watch the grand opening of the Sun Gate, yet what should have been a celebratory occasion turned to disaster. Construction of the canal left many areas of Zaun unstable, and the rumblings of the Sun Gate caused whole portions of the city to collapse and fall into the sea. Zephyr watched helplessly as hundreds of mortals fought uselessly against the clashing currents. Many cried out for help, though it was one cry in-particular that caught the spirit’s attention: it was Janna, calling out Zephyr’s name even as water filled her lungs.

In that moment, Janna felt herself being held aloft by a powerful gale. The air itself seemed to speak to her, telling Janna that her faith alone could rekindle the ancient guardian’s power and save the people from calamity. Putting her trust in the wind, Janna allowed Zephyr’s power to course through her, manifesting a staff to control the spirit’s power as her own. As others watched this miraculous display, their faith, too, began to return. Bolstered by their pleas, Janna and Zephyr summoned a massive gale to carry the people of Zaun to safety, before collapsing back into the sea from exhaustion.

Time moved on, and as the city of Piltover was built atop the remnants of Zaun, Janna’s miraculous deed that day also passed into legend. Even still, many continue to tell her story, and the faithful can be found wearing small bird-shaped pendants to honor the ancient spirit that protects Zaun. For those who struggle against the toxic fumes the Zaun Gray, wrestle with the tyranny of chembarons, or face any number of perils, it is commonplace to offer prayers to the wind.

Sometimes, if one truly believes, she may just answer back.

And there we have it. As you’ll notice, I kept much of the early lore the same, with one key exception: the spirit’s name. Now, Zephyr has always been a part of Janna’s character, even though it’s never explicitly referenced in her prior lore states. Zephyr was conceived to be Janna’s familiar: it’s that little bird you see in the background of her splash art. You know, the one that hovers around her in-game?

In her new lore, they try to say that Janna and Zephyr are one and the same; the bird is just a weaker manifestation of her power, though the art and game imply that she can manifest as the bird AND the woman at once? In her kit, Janna’s passive ability is still described as “Janna launching her elemental at a target,” as though the bird is still supposed to be her familiar. So, I decided: what if we kept the spirit as the bird, and made Janna herself human again?

Admittedly, I would have liked to flesh out this Demacian Janna more as a character, and I had a few versions of this bio in which that was the case, but I decided to stick to having the story of the spirit be forefront because I felt that would be closest to Riot’s current vision of the character. Even still, the one part of her current bio that DOES irk me a little is how suddenly the people of Zaun all collectively start praying to Janna to save them. I mean, no one had prayed to Janna for literal centuries, so why would that be the first thing they thing to do in a situation of peril? I felt it would make more sense to have her come back because of the ONE person who still somewhat believes in those ancient stories, rather than hundreds of people all at once.

Now, admittedly, this next part might be a bit controversial to some. Janna fusing with Zephyr might seem like a bit of a cop-out, but I’d like to remind you all that people playing host to spirits is hardly a new concept in League; we have Udyr, Lee Sin, and Illaoi, just to name a few.  I also think that it ties in well with the concept of Janna’s original lore, where she was a human that basically elevated herself into being an air elemental. Fusing with spirits to become semi-immortal entities isn’t even that much of a stretch either, thanks to Yone’s lore (though he might be a topic for a future episode.)

As for the conclusion of the story, well… I know it’s a little vague. What actually happened to Janna after she passed out? Where is she now? I decided to leave that up in the air (no pun intended) because I wanted to keep Janna in the same current lore state Riot has her in: an entity of the wind known mostly through myths and stories who might occasionally pop up if people pray hard enough. Plus, you could probably expand on that with her accompanying color story, though we’re not going to be touching on Deep Breath right now.

So, that’s Janna, the Storm’s Fury… Ugh, OK, let’s address that elephant in the room really quick. That is an AWFUL title for her. It sounds like something more befitting of Volibear, or maybe even Kennen. It’s certainly not a fantastic title for a benevolent deity known for showing kindness rather than fury. Maybe change it to something like The Gale’s Mercy or The Will of the Wind.

But alright, in all seriousness, that’s my take on Janna. As always, feel free to share your own thoughts, opinions, and comments down below.

[crimeronan]

soulmate verse meta no one asked for: adam’s lack of soulmates, narrative themes, and the story i care about telling 

(spoiler: i get bored writing “everything sucks for adam forever” fics)

this was a response to an ao3 comment on we never were good at doing what we’re told (that i’ve edited to be a clearer essay for people who haven’t read said fic)

i’m bursting so heavily to talk about themes and feelings and writing and characterization and shit that it’s become an essay that’s not just about the soulmate verse itself but also about like..... my entire thought process when crafting any narrative, ever

one of the biggest things that turned this story into a heart project of mine was wondering about what non-traditional relationships look like in a world where soulmates exist 

and then on the flip side, wondering what kind of challenges or unhealthy relationship dynamics soulmates might face despite being fated

in this universe, people are born with silhouettes of tattoos that color in when they touch their soulmate for the first time.  many people have more than one mark, but having a Lot of marks is unusual.  so you know from the getgo how many soulmates you have, but don’t know who they are until the skin-on-skin touch

adam parrish does not have any soul marks.  he has no fated soulmate relationships.  complicating this is the fact that most of his loved ones have marks for each other - but not for him

there's a low reach where you can take the concept of "adam doesn't have any soulmates" and run with routes like

adam can never connect to people on a deep intimate personal level

adam will never be as close to anyone as their soulmates are

adam can only forge relationships with other people who don't have soul bonds

every relationship adam forges falls apart because if it's not fated, that means there's no compatibility

adam has to work harder to be loved than a person with a soulmate

adam's a callous bastard who doesn't need anyone and hurts everyone because he doesn't understand them

adam is worse for ronan, gansey, noah, and blue than they are for each other

but that's not a story that feels genuine to me. it would give me no pleasure to write a fic where the conclusion is "and adam will never be able to have the love that other people do because he sucks and/or life sucks. amen. peace"

what DOES interest me, though, is the thought of how adam himself may have internalized these ideas 

the society that adam, ronan, hennessy, and the other characters are living in has very Very heavy social constructs about soulmates

mainly, that being someone's soulmate means:

that there's an inherent compatibility/understanding/reflection 

that there are missing emotional pieces immediately found 

that your soulmate is a person who is SUPPOSED to be in your life forever because they WILL make your life better  

if they don't make your life better, you're doing something wrong

but the thing is that we can also see that these constructs are not inherent truth, they're just being presented like inherent truth.

these are some details throughout the fic thus far (as of writing this, the first six chapters):

different cultures all have different complex and varied histories and traditions and feelings about soulmate bonds.

scientists have tried to quantify what different marks mean, analysts have tried to use marks to predict the shape of relationships, and there are no on-paper answers. 

ronan talks about a now-considered-antiquated idea that soulmates aren't relationship fated at all, but are instead formed when one person saves another's life. 

he's thinking about it because of his internal struggles, but there's a massive implication there: that the social definition and expectation of what a soulmate is has shifted DRASTICALLY over time rather than being an unchanging rock.

so as the person writing this world, i know that the social constructs are bullshit. adam does too, intellectually. he's spent a lot of time picking apart discrepancies and fallacies and falsehoods 

if adam didn't believe intellectually that he could have a relationship with ronan or gansey or blue or noah that's just as important as their relationships to each other, he wouldn't be here. 

if adam had bought into the idea that only soulmates understand each other, he'd be isolating himself as we speak 

he spent a lot of his adolescence challenging his preconceptions and rethinking what love and relationships mean, very parallel to his relationship with love in canon

but adam still has those nagging fears and doubts that these things might be true. 

what if he's more invested in his partners than they are in him? 

what if he loses them and can't rebuild? 

what if he's never going to be able to provide the emotional support or happiness that people deserve? 

what if no one will ever understand him? 

what if this is all a mistake? 

what if there's a reason he has no soulmates? 

what if he's an inherently destructive person fated to hurt anyone close to him?

adam doesn't believe these things are true, but the "what if"s are constantly itching at the back of his mind

so a big part of adam's journey in this story is him having experiences and shifting his worldview in ways that put the worst fears to bed. adam's done a lot of introspection about himself and his lack of soul marks, but he hasn't spared as much thought for soulmate relationships themselves. adam's looking at soulmate bonds and thinking, "those are an inherently good thing i've been deprived of," and hasn't yet devoted enough analysis to the fact that they might NOT be inherently good.

ronan and hennessy have equally complicated relationships with this society and its constructs. all three members of this group have experiences that challenge the others' preconceptions about what they believe is true

-

as the author, thinking about the themes i want to establish and the story i want to tell, every single interaction in this AU and every relationship is built around concepts like

-soulmates don't always understand each other's thought processes and emotions.

ronan has a very different relationship with every one of his individual soulmates plus adam 

each relationship has its strengths and weaknesses. not every soulmate can help ronan equally with every issue.

ronan and adam have learned each other, but ronan has ALSO spent a great deal of time learning his soulmates as well.  and they him

ronan’s relationships with EVERYONE have changed and grown and shifted over the years, and they’ve meant different things at different times.  there’s never been a single unchanging dimension of compatibility

-commitment, respect, growth, and communication are INFINITELY more vital for relationship health than a soul bond. 

this is something that’s gonna be delved HEAVILY into in upcoming content.  that being fated isn’t enough to make a relationship good if the foundation of mutual respect and commitment isn’t there

-soul bonds aren't well understood and don't necessarily mean what people think they do. 

(see: the whole above ramble)

-some soulmate relationships end up being DEEPLY unhealthy and dysfunctional. 

digging heavily into this soon as well. 

 in the first six chapters, the most striking example is hennessy’s parents.  they were soul bonded and hennessy’s mother believed her father would be a savior.  her father believed his soulmate was his sexy manic pixie dream girl but didn’t want to do the heavy lifting of helping with her actual mania.  

you’ve heard this tragedy before.  tale as old as time.

-soulmates CAN have lifelong happy healthy harmonious partnerships with strong compatibility, but it always takes work and respect and active choice. 

ronan is soul bonded to gansey, noah, and blue.  he has very good relationships with all of them.  he has also had very bad soulmate experiences in the past.  the difference in his committed life partnerships is the commitment and love and respect and ongoing understanding

-

the conclusion is:

my own life experience has been VERY centered around nontraditional relationships, figuring out how to construct healthy life partnerships, and making up my own rules because varying social constructs/expectations don't work for my heart. 

so that's all reflected in this verse, particularly in how adam has been told he's too broken to form connections & has instead said "fuck you i'm gonna do it anyway"

[thievinghippo]

Fic Update: Abstract (3/12)

Fandom: Mass Effect

Pairing: Garrus/Shepard

Rating: Teen

Summary: A study on Garrus and Shepard’s relationship, from introduction to conclusion, featuring arguments for and against.

Notes: So not many people realize there’s a different way to end the original reach/flexibility talk. This is how Sonya does things. :D

(Read on Ao3!)

#

Thesis Statement - Shepard

What the hell just happened?

The moment the battery doors shut behind her, Shepard leans against a sleeper pod, trying to realign her world. She was this close - this close - to saying something back there, to actually bringing up the idea of the two of them together. Stress relief. He brought up stress relief. Oh what she would give to relieve her stress with Garrus. But what does she do? Instead of seizing the insanely large opening he gave her, she simply said,

“Thanks for the talk, Garrus.”

Thanks for the talk.

As if it were any normal conversation, as if Garrus hadn’t brought up stress-relief, as if she didn’t want him. As if it didn’t increasingly look like he might want her as well. Stress relief. She’s read enough issues of Fornax to know what that means to a turian.

Taking a deep breath, Shepard runs her hand over shaved head. She hadn’t realized how much her crush back from their days of chasing Saren had grown. But there it was, practically hitting her in the face. But what if she’s wrong? She is only human, after all. What if he simply brought up stress relief because he literally is stressed? A turian on a Cerberus ship, full of humans who would rather him be anywhere but their fancy new ship. It can’t be easy. And they’ve never really talked about it, beyond him saying You realize this plan has me walking into hell, too? She’s charging there, full-throttle, and instead of kicking and screaming, he’s walking right by her side.

Shepard?

Hearing her name makes her jump, makes her feel like a raw recruit, like she has something to hide. She doesn’t like to be startled. “Yes, EDI?”

Your heart rate has been above your normal baseline since you left the main battery. Perhaps you should go to the medical facilities.

“Ha,” Shepard says with a weak laugh. If EDI knew her heart rate was elevated, no doubt - no doubt - Garrus saw her heart beat had been elevated, too. That visor really does give him an unfair advantage. “Nothing’s wrong, EDI. Just horny and thinking too much.” She closes her eyes, hardly believing she just admitted that to the AI. “Please don’t share that with Miranda.”

Your statement will remain confidential.

Relief, sweet, beautiful relief, courses through her. She really needs to not be so open when she’s talking to EDI. Anything she says to EDI is generally fair game to Miranda. And anything fair game to Miranda has potential to make its way back to The Illusive Man. Shepard needs to cover her mouth to keep herself from laughing at the thought of Miranda and The Illusive Man discussing her sex life. Or lack there of, really.

Now that she thinks of it, how long had it been since she’d gotten laid? A few weeks after Saren’s defeat, she remembers, thinking of the artist from Kenya she met on the Citadel. Over the years she’s learned to look outside the military for one-night stands. But Garrus isn’t Alliance…

And she’s not looking for a one-night stand.

It’s been years since she was last in a relationship, not since Calyn, and to say that ended poorly was an understatement. But that was on Shepard, not Calyn, thanks to the stress after the attack on Akuze. What if something were to happen between her and Garrus? What if the suicide mission goes just as sideways as Akuze? Can she go through that again? Shepard already knows the answer. If it does, she’ll survive. She doesn’t have any other choice.

The potential for more is right there, like a current underneath her skin. More. She’ll want to delve into that, figure out exactly why it’s so appealing, but not when she’s standing right outside the battery. Shepard stuffs her hands into the pockets of her trousers and walks down the ramp, into the common area. The cafeteria tables are mercifully empty, but Gardner is leaning after the counter of the small kitchen, staring out into space.

Thankfully, her rounds are finished, giving her a bit of free time before her meeting with Miranda to discuss the upcoming mission to Alchera. Her squad aren’t the only ones with ghosts. Hopefully this will give her some sort of sense of peace before heading to the Thorne system to search and recover the dead Reaper IFF.

However, that meeting is absolutely the last thing Shepard wants to do.

Walking as softly as she can, so not to disturb Gardner or catch Chakwas’s attention, Shepard heads to the elevator. Some time alone in her quarters is exactly what she needs. Somehow, she makes it to the elevator without anyone stopping her. And better still, the elevator didn’t stop at the CIC floor, going directly to her cabin. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think luck might actually be on her side for one. Of course, that’s when she’d spend any spare luck. On an elevator. Instead of when she might actually need it. Like on the suicide mission.

Her cabin is always a few degrees cooler than the rest of the ship and right now, she’s exceedingly grateful for that fact, even after unbuttoning the collar of her uniform. “It could work,” she whispers to herself, walking down the stairs. Back on the SR-1, it never would have. He put her too much on a pedestal back then, but dying seemed to change all that. She might be leading the mission, but as far as Shepard’s concerned, they’re equals, in all things.

Shepard’s always been a fan of making lists, and this seems like a perfect opportunity. “I trust him,” she says out loud. Trusts him more than anyone else at this point. There is no one more in the galaxy she would rather have at her six than him. That has to mean something, right?

“He makes me laugh.” Definitely another point in his favor. Just the fact that they can joke around together means everything on this ship.

She flops down on the bed, wondering what it might be like to have him on top of her, moving inside her. She’s never been with an alien before, never really thought about it. But it doesn’t matter. He’s Garrus. He could be a hanar or a volus and she’d still want to share this with him, because it’s him.

And he might be interested. In her. Assuming she’s read his cues right.

Hopefully someday soon, he’ll give her the chance to let him know that she might be interested, too.

[theshinsun]

Midorima and Takao for character thing please?

Hey thanks for asking!! This’ll probably be really long too ‘cause there’s two of them lol

Midorima

How I feel about this character

Honestly I didn’t get the hype for Midorima when I first started watching the show. I liked him, but didn’t feel especially strongly about him one way or the other (a little surprising given his similarities to Rei Ryugazaki from Free!) Over time, though, he’s definitely grown on me, and I think I’m finally starting to understand where the hype comes from. I appreciate his character more and more every time I rewatch, and I love his growth and the relationship between him and his team (the gentle bullying, the not-so-gentle constant teasing, and the mutual respect that develops between them). I also appreciate him being the one member of the GoM who didn’t go along with the sadistic Teiko shit everyone else was pulling.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Alright let’s see…

Takao (obvs, I mean how could you not)

Kagami (I love that one scene during the summer training camp so much, and would love to see how their relationship develops from that little breakthrough)

Kuroko (even though Midorima professes to not get along with him, I think their dynamic is interesting and there’s definitely respect and care on both sides)

Akashi (their relationship during Teiko is really interesting and I like how Midorima seems to be the one, at least at the time, who seems to understand Akashi best. also them being the only two brain cells on Teiko’s team I mean)

Kise (these two… I don’t know how I didn’t notice at first but they’re almost always together in the stands during games, and banter back and forth a lot with a kind of teasing familiarity that I really appreciate. they’d be a hilarious match-up, but honestly those kinds of relationships are the most fun)

Aomine (ok full disclosure I ship Aomine with everybody. these two would probably have the same issues in a relationship that Midorima and Kagami would, or worse, but there’s also the added interest of them having a history together, and maybe understanding and caring for each other more than either wants to admit)

Murasakibara (opposites attract what are ya gonna do, these two butting heads at Teiko definitely puts some tension between them, and by the end of the show it seems to have turned into just light bickering but same as above. they’ve got history and I think a relationship between them would be really unique)

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Kise. Now hear me out… I know I said I’d also ship them romantically (that’s the case for most of the non-romantic ships, they could go either way) but just… the relationship these guys have as friends (in canon and a lot of fanworks I’ve seen) is so funny and so out of nowhere, I’m living every time they interact and never want it to change. They’re so different and yet they have this odd chemistry together that just works for me on every level. Kise ambushing him in the stands when he thinks he’s being sneaky and calling him out for wanting to watch this game or that, that one restaurant scene after the first Shutoku/Seirin game (”you’ve changed a little”), their commiseration when shit’s falling apart at Teiko, it’s just great. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Peak character design tbh. I know people get on him for having green hair or long lashes or looking like a carrot (which… fair), but even though he’s not one of my favorites I can’t seem to stop staring at how pretty this boy is every time he’s on screen. …Until the last game gelled his hair down wtf is that lego clip-on skullcap supposed to be.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Ya know of all the characters who they could’ve had access the Zone… why Murasakibara but not this guy? Idk I’m conflicted bc on the one hand, I think the Zone kinda got the Super Saiyan treatment as it is (as in it’s used as a mere boost instead of some mystical unpredictable thing, and everyone and their grandma can eventually do it) but I’m also kinda salty that the whole GoM (including Kise if you count his Perfect Copy in the Last Game) got to use it except Midorima. We were robbed of pretty green glasses lightning for no reason imo.

Takao

How I feel about this character

I love this sassy hawk boy. First of all, he’s hands-down the funniest character in my opinion. In my most recent rewatch with my roommate, we couldn’t stop laughing at how just about every line from him is some kind of innuendo, and he’s just full of so much snark and chaotic energy it’s amazing. His relationship with Midorima and the rest of Shutoku (especially that bit when he talks about their senpais and how he’s going to miss this team) are excellent, and his backstory actually reminds me of Hinata’s a lot… gets beaten by a guy, vows to defeat him in high school but whoops they’re on the same team. Long story short, I’ve got some serious respect for this character and he’s also a joy to watch every time he shows up.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Midorima (I mean you gotta, their relationship honestly goes without saying. the teasing, the mutual trust, how they’re always connected at the hip, it’s all right there)

Kuroko (every time these two interact I lose my shit. If they were a couple it would be so chaotic, what can I say they’ve got a certain chemistry)

Izuki (I feel like these guys would get along like a house on fire tbh. The puns and the snark, their very similar abilities, they’re just birds of a feather I think)

Himuro (okay they’ve only interacted all of one time, but it was enough for me, that scene of Takao helping poor lost Himuro find his way “I’ve delivered your lost child to you” send me)

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Kuroko. Same as before, I could also see them as a romantic couple, but honestly I just love the bromance between these two. I love how different and yet similar they are, and I love their shared investment in Midorima and Kagami’s development, their conversations during games, and the potential for them to be gossip buds or wingmen for each other or something… I just like the way they get along that’s all there is to it. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Takao is OP as shit. K he might not have the Zone or any of the other powers the GoM has, but being able to see the whole court at all times? Being able to precision-shoot a basketball right into his teammate’s hand while it’s moving at high speed? Who is he, Kageyama? (side note, Kageyama is OP as shit too). I don’t see too much commentary about Takao as a player in general, but I’ve never even once seen this mentioned. I suppose in a world of ridiculous skittles bending the laws of physics left and right he doesn’t stand out much, but considering he’s supposed to be, for all intents and purposes, an ordinary player, he’s sure got some outstanding abilities and it’s just kinda weird how that’s never really addressed by the show or the fandom. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

More screentime. Not that he was suffering any particular lack of it, but honestly I’ll never get enough Takao and that’s the only way I think he could’ve been improved. Maybe delve just a little bit more into his backstory but really just seeing more of him esp as the show went on would’ve been nice.

[mittensmorgul]

Hi! Not trying to be difficult, but I saw that you like Rowena/Samwhich. I see a lot of fandom likes her - I personally can not get over her casual murdering if people (like service workers) from many season ago. know there's a similar dislike of Ketch for his murdering and am wondering what's up with the adoration? People liked her before the redemption arc so I'm wondering how much forgiveness she gets/got from people just because she was a 'badass' woman. Or the arc is what swayed you/people.

Hi there! I’ll start by saying that I’ve always liked Rowena because she’s a good character, not because she was a good person, you know? Like Metatron, she was an amazing villain. She was fun to root against, which is what you want in a good villain. But I’d venture to say that her redemption arc began even before we met her. Crowley had mentioned her twice before that, as a witch who taught him a few tricks, and wasn’t a good parental role model for him. And the show began redeeming her just a bit from even her first few appearances.

Sure, she didn’t start rescuing puppies and reading to coma patients in her spare time, but we did begin learning about her and her life. Not all the people she killed from the start were just casually murdered, you know? Her actual goal had been murdering the demons running the Raul’s Girls brothel scam. If she happened to kill a few of the girls herself, well then... at least her objective was met already.

And if that’s all your objecting to about her character, then I invite you to look at Crowley, who we know has casually killed all sorts of people, and yet... had a redemption arc from his first appearance on the show, too. I invite you to look honestly at Sam and Dean and all the people (yes, and monsters, but also innocents who died because of their doing), and tell me that makes them unforgivable and irredeemable, as well.

But the show has spent the last 5+ years actively writing her a redemption arc. Not a shoehorned “oh didn’t you hear, I’m a good guy now” literally attempting to handwave everything bad from the past by lampshading it with a “fake identical twin” story. Which... is what they’ve done with Ketch. At this point, after having been physically present in something like 33 episodes, and at least mentioned or on the phone helping Sam and Dean and Cas in several more, she officially has the longest, most consistent and persistent character growth and redemption arc in the history of Supernatural, other than Cas (if you even think of Cas as a character who needed “redemption” in the first place).

The first four episodes Ketch was in, we didn’t even see his face. He was set up as the Boogeyman of the BMoL, who even the agents we did see on screen as cold (they tortured SAM! and felt justified about it the entire time!) were scared of him. He was the Last Resort, he was the Executioner brought in to “solve problems” for them. Cold, calculated, efficient. And they set him as a spy on the Winchesters. He remained unrepentant through his brainwashing of Mary, assuring her she’d feel better once she had no pesky will of her own to resist the orders he set for her to kill, and genuinely drew pleasure from torturing and killing people and monsters. Even people who were supposedly his friends, even Mary he’d had what passes for a romantic encounter with. Then after his miraculous resurrection, we learned of his history with Rowena and how he GOT her charm in the first place-- implied that he tortured her to death and then witnessed her charm kick in and resurrect her.

And folks, that’s exactly the story of Rowena’s ENTIRE LIFE. Tortured for fun and then abandoned as disposable when they’d used her for what she could give them by people she’d sought protection and shelter from. She’d spent the last 300 years bargaining for her own life and safety by trading her body and her magic-- cast out by everyone from Crowley’s father to the Grand Coven to the Loughlin witches from 12.11, and EVEN BY SAM at the end of s10, when he had her literally chained to a table to force her to cast the spell to cure the Mark.

Then even after Ketch’s return, he’s remorselessly torturing and killing his way through a string of witches trying to find Rowena to make him another resurrection charm. When the Winchesters trap him, he lies and lies until he can’t keep it up any longer, and then we discover he’s actually now employed by Asmodeus, who’s ordered him to keep tabs on the Winchesters, in the episode where Asmo literally captures Cas, locks him in a cell, and then convinces Dean that Cas got away by impersonating his voice on the phone. Ketch... was part of all of this. Until he discovered Asmo’s secret power source and decided to disarm the demon... I don’t think Ketch brought Gabriel to them out of the goodness of his heart. He even told Dean that he saw a chance to escape retribution from Asmodeus in the AU, so he took it. It took him going to an alternate universe and fighting for the resistance forces there for us to even begin to think they could consider giving him a redemption arc. And he only had one on-screen appearance in s14, via a video call after sending the One Thing They Needed To Stop Michael via postal mail and having it delayed arriving to them as a result... but hey, at least he was trying to be helpful, right? >.>

They repeatedly lampshaded that he’s continued to do his Hired Gun thing, basically Supernatural Being murder for hire. He took a contract on Belphegor’s life, for example. So other than the fact he’s been occasionally helpful to TFW, and the fact he’s stopped actively trying to kill them, they haven’t actually written him any sort of redemption arc to speak of.

Unlike Rowena. We’ve delved into her history, heard in her own words why she became what she was when we first met her, and not only why she abandoned Crowley as a child but also seen her genuine grief and torment after his death-- after having lost any chance to ever try to seek his forgiveness or truly have a relationship with her son. And honestly, we have seen both Sam and Dean go to those sorts of lengths to get each other back, you know? Rowena’s actions in 13.19... are exactly the sorts of things we saw Sam doing in early s10... literally in the episode Rowena was introduced.

So I invite you to consider... if you forgive Sam for that or drinking demon blood or releasing Lucifer, if you forgive Dean for selling his own soul to save Sam or taking on the Mark of Cain and all that led to, if you forgive Cas for basically all of s6 or saying yes to Lucifer in s11... then... you should probably consider taking another look at the entirety of Rowena’s arc and see if you can’t see how they’ve written her the same redemption beats and more.

She’s helped the Winchesters, even when held against her will that first time, even when Sam demanded she kill the one person she’d ever let herself truly love in order to save Dean from the Mark. But since then she’s helped them of her own free will, gradually going from doing it as a quid pro quo to doing it because she was genuinely beginning to care about them going all the way back to 12.11. She ran afoul of Lucifer-- which experience still tortures and terrifies her to this day-- because of the Winchesters. And in return, Sam especially has grown to show her trust and care as well. He gave her the page from the spell book she wanted to protect herself and trusted she wouldn’t use that against him. Then we learned their fates were intertwined-- Sam destined to kill her. But instead, they mutually chose to try and save her. I mean... that’s been the foundation of her arc for the last 3 seasons. And to reject that character growth, you have to bend over backward and ignore the fact that in their lives, Sam and Dean and Cas have done just as terrible or worse. It’s only a wee bit hypocritical to dismiss her honest development into someone Sam and Dean both think of as at least Winchester-adjacent if not part of the extended family at this point. The story’s been working overtime to bring her to that point where she now actively CHOOSES to care for them, even at her own peril.

She literally did exactly what Dean did in 13.23, saying yes to Michael because he promised he would spare the people she cared about. She literally has sacrificed herself for them out of love. So... tell me, what would it take for you to get past what she was when we first met her? Because everyone in-story got past that years ago.

[atopearth]

The Men of Yoshiwara: Ohgiya Part 5 - Ageha Route

Now on to the last route! I can see why Kiyoha would want to choose Ageha though, he is really pretty, graceful and sweet. He's also energetic and fun in a different way from Utsusemi but still very cute. It's too bad that Kiyoha can't choose him outright because he's an apprentice getting ready for his deflowering, and apparently only experienced women are allowed to apply for it. I guess that's how they protect their new geisha just in case? Seeing Gakuto, Utsusemi and Ageha play and drink together with Kiyoha was pretty fun, I love it when they're together. But omggg when Ageha got a bit drunk and ended up kissing Kiyoha! Definitely against the rules here but omg, it was definitely exciting, it was understandable for Kiyoha to have liked it lol! Drunk Ageha is definitely very honest though, it seems like he likes Kiyoha just as much as she is attracted to him. I hope no one finds out this happened though, since Ohgiya is so traditional and strict, he would probably get a scolding. HAHAHA, there's a typo with Ageha's tear leaving a "steak" down on this face rather than a streak🤣🤣🤣 I was like aww, Ageha is such a crybaby, it makes you want to protect him, and then next moment, I see steak and I'm like what?! LOL.

I was about to say Kiyoha sending that letter to Ageha (about what happened + the kiss) wouldn't be the best idea at this time, and yep, it ended up getting them in trouble now! Wow, Ageha is such a pure boy, I found his letter (written during discipline, given to Asagiri to hand to Kiyoha) really kind and comforting for Kiyoha, he's quite thoughtful. My heart actually kinda ached when Ageha tearfully and very honestly spoke about his love for Kiyoha in front of Asagiri. Like wow, they're honestly like to lovebirds who are in a forbidden love lol. It's nice to know that they got found out because another apprentice secretly read his letter (and not because of Ageha being careless etc), like wow, no privacy much?! It's actually really cute how Asagiri is supporting their young love lol. Omg, Ageha's personality is normally so not my type, but he's so cute, it's kinda hard to resist. Especially when he kept trying his best to get used to calling her Kiyoha, and how he admitted that the drunken kiss he gave her the other day was his first kiss. Wow, they're so daring to have another proper first kiss! Like, I knew it was coming, but dang, they're really into each other lol! It was pretty hot. Considering how timid Ageha seems, he's actually quite daring when he drinks a bit of sake haha. I honestly find it really adorable how Kiyoha and Ageha are experiencing such an innocent first love. I love how they chat about anything with each other, play games they've learnt together such as juggling etc, and they just so naturally share their lives with the other. It feels so youthful and adorable lol.

Is this what we call the honeymoon phase? Because dang, Kiyoha straightforwardly telling her mother that she wants Ageha to be her husband after only a few days of thinking about it is pretty dang crazy LOL. To be honest, Kiyoha losing her chastity to one of the geisha to participate in the deflowering of Ageha is an idea that's probably uncomfortable but worth it in a sense. This is really the only way to keep Ageha's purity considering how much he loves her and how pure of a person he is. Considering what happened in Utsusemi's route, I'm not sure if Ageha could take it if he's in love with Kiyoha but has to be deflowered by someone else. Honestly though, when she started crying because she knew she couldn't just do it with Asagiri, my heart kinda broke. Kiyoha really does have the resolve, but she loves Ageha so much, she doesn't want to have sex with anyone else besides him. I think that's pretty understandable, she really shouldn't force herself if she really can't. It was really sweet of Asagiri to comfort her by stroking her back as she cried. The whole time he was with her, he was really considerate and kind towards her feelings too. He's such a great guy😭 Omggg, the drama is so real, but I have to admit, seeing Ageha's heart break when he saw Asagiri and Kiyoha together was pretty painful. I really feel like this route is like the epitome of that young recklessness I think would have been fun to experience. They're really living that dream well. Obviously, because they're the ones living it, it's rather tough though, since they're obviously breaking rules hanging out together outside Yoshiwara and playing around. But at the same time, I can't help but admire it all. I think it's because Kiyoha can finally act her own age and just enjoy love for what it is than to be forced into having an heir, and it's the best partner to share this innocence with, because Ageha hasn't been "tainted" yet, and is so innocent and pure after being brought up so carefully by everyone around him since they all love him. I also think I'm really enjoying this route because their young recklessness isn't really something I ever could really do, so it's nice to experience it here haha.

Wow, when she got hurt and had to recover in bed for a couple of days, I was like dang, that must have been a pretty bad injury. I honestly didn't think Ageha was reckless enough to run away from Ohgiya to visit her though, but it's understandable, all he heard was that she got hurt and nothing else after all. It went way too smoothly because of her injury, but I guess whatever, since it's because of this injury and their unrelenting love that Kiyoha can now be the one to deflower him and even buy him out of Ohgiya, but yeah I feel like the resolution was so anticlimactic and resolved quite haphazardly. I really liked how before this though, Ageha was adamant on Kiyoha being the one to deflower him and protested to the manager enough that he said he would kill himself if he couldn't be with Kiyoha. Like, I know it was pretty dramatic and everything, but I loved how Kiyoha made him grow as a person. He realised that he's so much of a crybaby all the time that he wanted to finally do something about the situation just like Kiyoha, so he voiced his opinion and I think that was really cool of him. 

I really liked how they showcased Ageha's talents for Kiyoha’s store! I mean the fact that he's a cinnamon roll is awesome enough to attract young and older ladies, but at the same time, he has a really good memory and a genuine heart that charms everyone with his pure words! He's also capable with flowers and a beauty, so he's great for showing off clothes haha. He also works so hard! So really, not a surprise the mother would approve of him so fast lol. Like, it's nice that Ageha is more "grown up" and forward with his feelings and affection now, but at the same time, it's kinda crazy how different he is in the endings compared to how sensitive and sweet he was as the innocent lamb he was before lol. Lmao in the sequel where Ageha runs back to Ohgiya and cries after losing ten wrestling matches to Kagerou hahahah. He's so silly. It doesn't matter whether he’s strong or not at all, when he takes care of Kiyoha so well, and that was shown before they even started those matches, which was when she tripped and he caught her. But I agree with Kiyoha, he doesn't need to rush into becoming a "man" for her, because they can both take their time becoming adults together instead. I thought that was really heartwarming and something nice to look forward to. Growing up with someone else at the same pace with the same goals is such a blessing. The ice cream story was so cute, I loved how it was just a simple story of them making food together, yet it was so nice to see.

Overall, it's really funny tbh, honestly, I usually hate LIs like Ageha the most, but there was something about him that made me just think it was so cute? Maybe it's because he's so genuinely a crybaby? Lmao. I think maybe it's because I think he and Kiyoha matched really well in this route. They were both new to the whole idea of love, so they were both susceptible to falling so hard for the other and being so rash about it, but at the same time, I couldn't help but admire how beautiful and sweet their young love was. I just found it so endearing to see two people work so hard towards a forbidden relationship, yet be so happy about it. I think their innocence and happiness at just enjoying spending time with the other really made my heart melt. Things were resolved way too easily, but I guess the romance was the highlight so whatever haha. I think I probably enjoyed Ageha and Gakuto's routes the most, with Utsusemi's story being one I quite liked too (the romance part wasn't as good though imo).

Overall Review

Overall, I really enjoyed Ohgiya and I think they definitely improved on both the stories and the guys from the prequel. It definitely is the superior sequel haha! Not only was Kiyoha a much better heroine (although she can get frustrating at times too but not as much lol), I also found that I liked most of the guys here too! There was no one I really hated, only routes I liked more than others haha. I really liked how they delved into the different lives they all lived even though they were all living the life of a geisha. Like, the variety when it comes to their backgrounds, reasons for being there and how they viewed life was so colourful yet saddening, and I think it was all portrayed really well, because my heart honestly broke for them, especially Gakuto. I think it was really cool to see how Kiyoha affected their lives and allowed them to think beyond the life of a geisha, and I guess that really made the game enjoyable. Definitely recommended if you want something short and nice. You don't even need to play the prequel haha.

[kiruuuuu]

Kapkan/Glaz oneshot in which Glaz implicitly makes a bet with Kapkan. (Rating T, fluff/humour, ~2k words) - You might’ve come across this snippet on my AO3 here, under 1.5! I’ve never posted it on tumblr before but as I’ve written a second part, I figured it’s easier to have both in the same place :) Enjoy!!

.

A whip crack resounding in the thick summer air, slicing through heavy humidity and echoing off in the distance. “You son of a wet noodle”, Glaz breathes softly and furrows his brows, squinting disapprovingly through the scope to find his target undisturbed, gently blowing in the wind.

“You curse like a girl”, Kapkan tells him without looking up from his small sculpture. It’s not entirely clear what it’s supposed to be, but if Glaz had to guess, he’d have said a mixture of Sledge and a tragically disabled aardvark. Kapkan has recently picked up the hobby of carving and is still in the honeymoon phase, as the rest of Spetsnaz likes to call it, meaning he genuinely believes it’s going to work out and refuses to accept any criticism. It usually lasts two weeks, then the five stages of grief begin until the Russian finds a new hobby and delves into it head first.

“Didn’t you hear Mira when she dropped Montagne’s shield on her foot?”, comes a laconic remark from the side, “Cursing like a girl is a compliment.” Tachanka lies poured onto a sun lounger, ironically so since he wishes nothing more than to escape the heat. The ice in his glass of water has long melted and normally he wouldn’t grace the younger operators with his presence at these temperatures, were it not for the remnants of the stink bomb that Smoke accidentally detonated in the base. Sun is easier to stomach than a stench so bad it made even Smoke himself gag.

“This shot is impossible.” Glaz sits up annoyed and searches for the scarf without the help of any magnification, doesn’t find it – unsurprisingly. Kapkan has tied it somewhere onto a tree and Glaz uses it as practise, though it seems Kapkan overestimated his abilities when he chose their spot earlier. They usually spend the afternoons together, only Fuze absent today.

“Nothing is impossible”, Kapkan objects and almost hacks off his middle finger. Watching him usually gives Glaz mini heart attacks. “You’re just not trying enough.”

His patience is waning. He’s been attempting the shot for almost an hour now, adjusting for wind and distance and whatnot, and is almost at the point where he declares defeat. He’s sweaty and hungry and the steady bitching from the old man and the irregular sounds of Kapkan chipping away at his abomination are getting to him. “Oh yeah?”, he snaps back without meaning to. “Why don’t you try it then?”

Astonishingly, Kapkan agrees. He shouldn’t, he’s always been terrible at sniping and it’ll be a wonder if he doesn’t take out Tachanka’s lukewarm water instead. “What’s the closest thing you’ve hit?”, he asks and drops his carving into the impressive pile of not-quite sawdust at his feet from which he might never rescue it again. Maybe that’s actually the plan.

“Trunk of the tree it’s tied to”, Glaz replies and doesn’t care that he’s pouting now. He dislikes being bested, often refuses to even allow for the chance – he knows Kapkan won’t make it, yet the mere thought of it is distasteful. He stands up and stretches his stiff legs, can’t suppress a yawn and gestures for his teammate to take his place behind his rifle.

“I don’t know why you’re even trying”, Tachanka mumbles what everyone’s thinking from behind his oversized sunglasses. He’s yet to move a muscle since he’s taken up post on the sunbed.

“Don’t underestimate me.” Kapkan wiggles his eyebrows at Glaz (who merely returns his gaze unamused) and lies down on the cool dirt floor. He’s wearing a simple t-shirt that flatters his toned arms and rides up a little while he’s making himself comfortable, exposing a pale strip of skin unmarred by the merciless sun. Glaz is not staring. He’s not.

“You’re not going to make it”, he points out and crosses his arms. No answer from Kapkan who’s lining up the shot. “If you make it, I will literally suck your dick.”

It’s a phrase that’s basically lost all meaning during the few weeks they’ve used it, Fuze overheard it from Mute maybe or Rook and turned it into the ultimate dare, the others adapting and jokingly repeating it every time one of them attempts anything vaguely impossible. So far, no one has managed. Glaz steals some of Tachanka’s water while Kapkan wastes the first bullet. It’s not going to happen now and in a few weeks they’ll start using a different inside joke and –

“You’d better come see this”, says Kapkan and there’s something in his voice that makes Glaz’ stomach drop abruptly. He almost spits out the water and wastes no time in joining his fellow countryman on the ground, pushing him out of the way and checking the scope. He realises too late that it’s going to be a prank that he fell for again, as he usually does, and that Kapkan will begin laughing at him any moment now. Only… no one is laughing.

There’s a hole in the scarf.

Glaz blinks, not comprehending what his eyes are telling him. He’s acutely aware of the uncomfortably warm body next to him and his own breathing and the innocent words he’s uttered without thinking. There’s no chance he’ll ever live this down. “You’re fucking kidding me”, he whispers because he can’t help himself.

“There you go, use grown-up swears.” Kapkan sounds highly amused. “You know what this means, right?”

“No way in hell did he make the shot”, Tachanka slurs from his deathbed.

“He fucking made the fucking shot.” Glaz is furious. Mostly at himself for not accomplishing what Kapkan managed first try.

“Ooh, sounds like someone needs to walk off the rage”, Kapkan continues teasing him while wearing a shit eating grin that does nothing to alleviate Glaz’ frustration. “We can go to the shed to get some water, I’m dying of thirst. Want us to refill your glass, ‘Chanka? It’s probably at a nice kiddie pool temperature at this point.”

“With less piss”, is Tachanka’s only reply and so Kapkan takes it, pours the water into the nearest bush and repeats meaningfully: “ ‘Less.’ ”

They walk back to ‘the shed’, a tiny hut in the woods not far from the base containing various tools, chairs and a sink with running water that’s pleasantly cool even in this season. “I can’t believe you made it”, Glaz grumbles on the way, shaking his head. “How did you even – you couldn’t have –”

“But I did, and isn’t that a shame.” Kapkan holds the door open for him and if nothing else has made Glaz suspicious until now, this gesture undoubtedly should. His alarm bells should be going off full force. Yet all he does is ponder the impossibility of Kapkan’s feat, whether he’s made any glaring mistakes himself, whether he should take apart his sniper rifle to find the reason. “Do you want to get it over with right away?”

His thoughts grind to a halt. He stops. Turns towards Kapkan and finds the door to the tiny building shut and the Russian frightfully close to him. “What -” His voice breaks, he averts his gaze, tries again. “What are you talking about?”

“You said it yourself. You can’t back off now. A deal’s a deal.” Kapkan sounds reasonable, which is the worst thing about it, he’s reassuring him and makes the outrageous demand seem sensible.

“You’re not serious.” The I hope is implied though Glaz can’t bring himself to voicing it. His thighs are growing weaker by the second. This is another joke. It has to be.

“I’m deadly serious”, says Kapkan and he does seem sincere – though he’s an excellent liar when he wants to be. “You’re not one to shun a challenge, are you?”

He pictures it. For one glorious second, he toys with the idea of just yanking down Kapkan’s pants right here and is overcome with a heat wave not only induced by the stuffy air in the shed. “I didn’t mean it”, he insists, “you’re pulling my leg, you know I didn’t mean it, don’t be so…”

“If you really want to do it, you’d better get on your knees.” Kapkan is entirely unbothered by his words, smirking and placing a hand on Glaz’ shoulder, but what really constitutes the last straw is that his thumb brushes over Glaz’ collarbone in a gesture that is entirely too familiar and, most of all, suggestive. He opens his mouth to protest and doesn’t expect the push and his legs buckle and suddenly he’s kneeling on the dusty floorboards, his eyes level with Kapkan’s belt.

Okay. Sure. He can salvage this. His dignity has only suffered a little. Kapkan doesn’t know Glaz is half-hard right now and in this position he’s not going to find out either. Convenient, really. “I’m not going to suck you off.” He enunciates each word clearly in case Kapkan decides to be hard of hearing all of a sudden. “You’re being ridiculous. Where is this even coming from?”

“Look, do you want me to tell everyone that you never really did Sledge’s dare? Huh? I’ve kept quiet as a favour but I could -”

This is when Glaz understands. Kapkan facetiously blackmails people all the time, threatens to enlighten the world about Fuze’s showering habits if he doesn’t stop stealing his food, tells Smoke he’s going to expose his contraband hiding spots whenever he refuses to cease his current shenanigans (which is always), it happens a lot. What most people don’t know: Kapkan is usually not joking. Not really.

Just like he isn’t now.

Their gazes are locked, Kapkan’s considerably less confident than a few seconds ago, he must’ve realised his blunder, must know he’s betrayed himself. He’s looking down at Glaz like a trapped animal, ready to lash out or flee and chooses the second option, switches to the first when Glaz instinctively reaches out and grabs his trouser leg, keeps him in place. They scuffle briefly and hardly with any force behind it and somehow Kapkan loses balance and stumbles and one of his hands lands on the back of Glaz’ head and the next thing he knows is that his face is pressed into Kapkan’s crotch.

All he can think is: Oh.

Because there’s something quite obvious denting his cheek.

The door flies open. “You almost hit me holy shit what are you two doing?!” That voice unmistakably belongs to Fuze who’s standing in the doorway in casual clothing plus a handgun by his side and looking like he just ran a marathon, of which Glaz takes note after Kapkan panics and shoves him away so he’s again able to see something other than the seam of Kapkan’s trousers. To his knowledge, Fuze is supposed to be somewhere completely different while dressed completely different.

You almost hit me. Fuze has a gun for no apparently reason. Together with the guilty and fantastically sheepish look on Kapkan’s face, it’s easy to connect the dots, so Glaz starts laughing. Fuze looks utterly lost by now. “You didn’t fucking make the shot”, Glaz wheezes and would double over if he was standing. He’s dying to know how Kapkan managed to convince Fuze for his participation. It’s an impressively elaborate plan just to coerce him into doing something he would’ve done voluntarily and might’ve done regardless hadn’t Kapkan wounded Glaz’ brittle pride with the claim of sniping better than him.

He can hardly stop giggling, especially when faced with Kapkan’s stony face and the mumbled “let’s never talk about this again, alright?” and Fuze’s dumb ignorant expression. They gather a few chairs, fill up water bottles and Tachanka’s glass and refuse to answer any of Fuze’s increasingly irritated questions.

When they’re about done, Glaz turns to Kapkan and tells him with a bright smile: “You could’ve just asked, you know?” Leaving him to figure out what to do with that information, he steps out of the hut into the sweltering sunshine.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Sarazanmai Episode 6: “I Want To Connect, So I’m Not Giving Up”

All things considered, this episode was way more positive and hopeful than I expected, but it still hurt in it’s own way, and Ikuhara is still aiming to literally murder me with these post-ED scenes.

I was worried that Ikuhara wasn’t going to be able to pace out an 11-episode anime properly, but thus far it’s been fine, and this episode in particular gives me hope that the rest of the show will be just as good.

Also, I really think that anyone watching the show by this point needs to at least check out the ReoMabu prequel manga, if not also their twitter account, so you can get more context for their relationship, now that they’re becoming more prominent.

Anyway, thoughts under the cut.

It almost feels like a spoiler to include the episode title at the top of the post, since it’s one of the big emotional climaxes of the whole episode, but oh well. I still really love how this series is using it’s episode titles to hammer in specific emotions at the end of each episode.

This episode title also reflects how this is the episode where the patterns that have made up the show thus far have pretty much veered off-track. There were no musical numbers, no transformation scenes, no new Lucky Selfie Item, the kappa zombie of the week is determined to have love instead of desire, and for the first time ever, the episode title is actually a positive one that shows how Kazuki has grown as a person. I haven’t watched Penguindrum or Yuri Kuma Arashi yet, but I really like how Ikuhara intentionally deviates from the episodic patterns he sets up in order to create a sense of dissonance and change, and this is a great example of that. It really feels like this is the halfway mark that’s bridging the two halves of the show. I wouldn’t be surprised if the kappa zombie of the week stuff more or less stops after this, with how Reo and Mabu seem to be changing tactics, and the main trio are more aware of how the process works and how they’re erasing people from existence by defeating the kappa zombies.

Even though this is just the mid-season climax [and the point where the first of the two light novel volumes ends], it really feels like it could almost work as a full-on season finale, or at least a penultimate episode, with how it pretty much wraps up Kazuki’s entire character arc. But we still have five more episodes to go, and the post-ED scene in particular makes it clear that there’s still more to delve into. As I said above, I was worried that, based on what I’ve heard about Yuri Kuma Arashi, Ikuhara isn’t good at properly pacing out 1-cour anime, but this episode in particular makes it feel like if he was bad at it before, he’s certainly gotten a lot better at it. The pacing actually sorta reminds me of Planet With from last year, in how it feels like every single scene in this show is meaningful, and it feels like there’s more development than you get in most full series.

And on the note of Kazuki’s development, it didn’t go at all how I expected, but I’m really happy with how it went. I was honestly expecting Haruka to get turned into a kappa zombie and for the main trio to find out about the ‘erasure from existence’ thing after they defeated him, so I was surprised to see that he got saved, and I definitely wasn’t expecting it to also involve Kazuki finally accepting his brother’s love and saving him, after being given the choice to basically kill himself to erase all of his sins.

I think we can all agree that that whole sequence in this episode was ultimately a metaphor for him being suicidal and thinking that if he could die, or if he could have never been born in the first place, then everything would be better. There was just a vague plot mechanism in place to make him think that that might be genuinely true. Kazuki is a really complex and divisive character in a lot of ways, but moments like this really make it clear that he’s just a depressed teenager who feels unworthy of love. So it was nice to see Enta and Toi come through to save him before he could go through with killing himself [especially with how that whole bit incorporated Toi’s gun and Enta’s soccer skills].

The big climax of Kazuki’s arc, and his acceptance of Haruka’s love, ties in a lot with how we finally get some fairly blunt info about how society works in this series, and what exactly the loss of a Shirikodama means for a person. Like with how basically every Ikuhara anime is ultimately concerned with the idea of society being made of an in-group and an out-group, with being forced into the out-group being equivalent to death [but also to transcendence, sometimes], people in Sarazanmai are connected via their Shirikodama, and the linked desires that they represent, with those who cannot ‘connect desires’ being forced out of that circle of connection, and erased from existence. There’s a lot of in-universe lore and jargon going on there, but it basically boils down to ‘isolated outcasts get rejected and forgotten’. But on a more small-scale and personal level, this episode also explores the idea of smaller social circles, and the way that people can be rejected from them, and reject themselves from them. Kazuki feels that he was always on the outside of the circle after he found out that he was adopted into his family, and he’s been pushing Haruka away and refusing to connect with him directly for a variety of reasons. He’s been intentionally rejecting himself from that circle this whole time, and his big emotional realization in this episode is that Haruka genuinely loves him and just wants to have a normal relationship with him, and that he can allow himself to be loved and accepted into that circle. He can allow himself to be chosen. The fact that Haruka wants Kazuki to know that they’re a part of a circle together, from beginning to end, pretty much encapsulates all of that.

We also learn that part of why Haruka also has his own self-loathing issues going on is because he stole Kazuki’s mother’s scent pouch and rejected her out of fear that she’d steal Kazuki away from him. So he probably feels responsible for what ended up happening that day when Kazuki went to go see his mother at the train station.

I really hope we get to see the two of them interacting and talking things out soon. In a lot of ways their whole arc together has basically wrapped up, but it’ll still be nice to actually see their relationship improving.

I’m curious to see if Kazuki’s going to ever go back to his cross-dressing days now that the whole Sara thing has been exposed, and he’s finally allowed himself to love and be loved by Haruka as himself. I guess that’ll be what shows whether he only cross-dressed solely to try and connect with Haruka, or if he also had other reasons for it.

I have the wonder what’s gonna happen with the main trio now that Kazuki’s come to his big character development climax moment, and they all have a better understanding of how the kappa zombie thing works, and about the broader otter/kappa conflict. It’s also worth noting that, since they apparently defeated the sachet kappa zombie for good this time, they should have their fourth silver plate of hope, so they should just be one away from getting a full gold one. I’m really curious to see how that turns out, since I don’t think Kazuki is going to care about it at this point, since he’s managed to restore his relationship with Haruka without it. I think he’ll just let Toi or Enta use the gold plate for their own wish instead. And out of the two of them, with how things are going, it seems like Enta will probably end up letting Toi make the wish for himself.

It’s worth pointing out that even though Kazuki’s development more or less wrapped up here, there’s presumably more to do with Toi and Enta and their own personal conflicts. I think they’re each going to get one more focus episode before the anime wraps up. I don’t know entirely how their own stories will end, but Toi still needs to sort things out with him and his brother, and Enta clearly has to do SOMETHING about his repressed crush on Kazuki.

I would say that it feels like there’s actually not much more that even needs to happen with the main trio at this point since they’ve gotten so much focus and development already, but that’s where Reo and Mabu come in, since they’re clearly going to be way more prominent in the second half. The synopsis preview for episode 7 seems to imply that we’ll get more backstory for them, which will hopefully include the short chapter from the light novel that the anime’s apparently skipped over thus far. At the very least, this episode’s post-ED scene is enough to make it clear that there’s a lot to learn about them.

At first I was super thrown off by that whole scene, mostly because the art used for the backgrounds was so stylized that it looked like it took place on some fantasy planet, but after thinking about it, it makes sense, and I think it still slots into the same timeline as the manga and their twitter account. I think that their twitter account basically ended with the two of them getting drafted into the Otter Empire, and the post-ED scene in this episode shows them serving in the empire afterwards, and Mabu getting killed in the middle of them trying to finally capture Prince Keppi. It’s all very sudden, but it makes sense. And obviously we’ll learn more about it later.

It still looks like Mabu is being kept alive by a mechanical heart, which was probably provided by the Otter Empire in exchange for their continued service. But we still don’t know exactly how he got given that heart, and what his maintenance entails. It seems interesting that his situation resembles what Keppi said about the effects of having a Shirikodama removed, but Mabu still seems to be around, and Reo still remembers him and their history together, even if Mabu does seem to have lost his emotions. Maybe his mechanical heart is basically keeping him in a stasis where he’s not completely rejected from the circle like the defeated kappa zombies are. It might be worth noting that we’ve also only seen Reo interact with Mabu at all thus far, but that might just be a coincidence.

It looks like their goal, or at least Reo’s, has shifted over to capturing Keppi once and for all now that they’ve seen him in the security camera footage of the main trio saving Haruka. It definitely looks like his ultimate plan is probably to use Keppi to make a gold plate of hope that he can use to wish Mabu back to how he used to be. And honestly at this point I think he deserves it, lol. The main trio’s problems are all just real-life relationship issues that can be resolved through communication and honesty, but Reo doesn’t really have much of a choice if he wants to fix the issue of Mabu being a living corpse fueled by a magical mechanical heart.

I’m really curious to see how their methods change after this, now that they have a more concrete goal. I wonder if they’ll keep making new kappa zombies each episode, or if they’ll continue to play a more active role in things.

At the very least, I think that there’ll be a sequence later on where the two of them get their own Sarazanmai musical sequence and secret-leaking scene. It’d just make sense in a lot of ways if we find out that, similar to the main trio, they can transform into otters and do the whole Sarazanmai thing.

I’m also still curious to see if/when their connection to Sara comes up in the story, especially since it seems like the prequel manga is probably canon to the anime. I think it’d at least be weird if it doesn’t come up at all, since the fact that they raised Sara seems like a pretty big deal.

And on the note of her, and the prequel manga’s plot in general, this episode raises even more questions, even if it answers at least one. At the very least, it looks like the sleepwalking dude at the end of the manga was her manager, and the silhouetted figure with a crown was Prince Keppi. But even knowing that just raises it’s own questions. In particular, why didn’t Keppi mention Sara in his whole info-dump about the otter/kappa war? He basically acted like he was the only surviving member of his kingdom, but Sara [and her manager] are obviously still around. She’s even a popular TV idol, and even uses her kappa form as a mascot, so Keppi should at least be aware that she exists. So I wonder if he might be intentionally trying to hide his connection to her, for one reason or another. In particular, I wonder if maybe Keppi is trying to protect her from the Otter Empire by acting like he’s the only kappa left alive, so they won’t get suspicious of her. Though it’s hard not to think that his overall motives might be more sinister after his episode, so who knows.

I have a feeling that Sara might also have the power to produce dishes of hope like Keppi can, regardless of what he says about him being the only one able to do that. If she does, I could see that leading to an ending where she’s able to grant Reo’s wish, and they can basically go back to being a family together.

This episode kinda makes me even more confused about Sara in general, though. Now that we know more about the reality of the war going on, and the kappa being a nearly extinct kingdom, you’d think that she wouldn’t be quite so flippant about transforming into a kappa in public, or using her kappa form as a mascot on TV. Episode 5 also made her seem a lot more . . . spacey and off in her own world, in a way, than how she seemed at the end of the prequel manga. I wonder how she feels about all of this.

I was a bit worried that the show has been spending so much time on the main trio that it wouldn’t have enough time to really go into Reo and Mabu, and the whole otter/kappa conflict, and so on, but it looks like all of that is becoming a lot more important now, and this episode already spelled out a lot of info, so I think it should work out fine.

I really want to check out the light novels now, but I’ve already decided that I’ll wait until near the end of the year to buy both volumes together. I did import the ReoMabu manga yesterday, though, so that should get here next week. I have a feeling I’ll also end up importing the physical volumes of the new manga adaptation as well, lol.

All in all, this was a really fantastic episode. I’m really happy that Ikuhara hasn’t lost his touch, and that we’re still getting such great shows from him. Now I’m just crossing my fingers and hoping that the second half of the show can stick the landing.

[folieamagique]

On the issue of Merfolk

Ok this is starting to actually bother me. I’m about to get real nerdy for a minute here so just keep on scrolling if you aren’t interested. I’ve seen this post from @lauralot89 about “overthinking” Mermaids and I am an absolute nerd for shit like this and I have a friend ( @clamcrabcocklekaworu ) studying to be a marine biologist SO. You’ve caught my attention and now let me dive into this a little and explain my theory on it.  

(note the emphasis on the word theory here, polite debates and discussion is welcome but don’t get up in arms with me because you don’t agree with an opinion I’ve stated. These are my opinions based on research and personal thoughts on the matter. We’re talking about mythical creatures here, it’s not that important and I’m not here to fight over it)

Ok so Merfolk, they’ve been discussed for so long and like Lauralot I’m confounded by the questions repeatedly asked so let me just...science this fuckery for a minute. 

Consider, if you will, the anatomy of a Mermaid. It’s absolute horseshit from a typical stand point. Humans are mammals and to combine that with a fish...something has to go horribly wrong and some parts of the human half would become unnecessary deformities. So, how do we circumvent that to the best of our abilities? Well there are human sized mammals that exist among marine life. Dolphins. Have you ever read about dolphins? You should try it because holy shit if ever there was a human-like fish it’s these things. 

So now to answer Lauralot’s questions with this thought in mind:

1. their upper bodies would not be human skin. It might be a thinner version of the dolphin skin. Not quite as much toughness to it, allowing for hair growth and such because they are still partially human and from what I’ve read dolphins do have some sort of hair on their bodies, I’m not 100% on how true that actually is but they are mammals so I would not be surprised. 

2. Houses? What in the absolute hell do they need houses for? They probably migrate like dolphins or if they do stay in one area they can make use of existing caves as a den (because humans have the inclination to settle in one place) Maybe it’s both and they have two or more homes. Also River Dolphins are fun.

3. well if they are half dolphin then chances are they are either partially or completely blind and use sonar. Third eyelid is a possibility but from quick google searches I don’t think they would. Dolphins can blink but apparently don’t do so as often as humans and you have to consider that their watery habitat would keep the eye moist and there isn’t honestly much need for a transparent eyelid. 

4. It makes more sense for them to be Dolphins, therefore making them Mammals and meaning they would have a Dolphin tale. This also changes how their tail would move and bend so no more of this “the tail bends like knees and they can sit on rocks and shit” bullshit. That’s not...how about we don’t. That makes zero sense and if they were real and did that we’d have seen them. No gills, no scales. I imagine they would surface but instead of a blowhole like dolphins and whales their nose and mouth would function for that purpose. 

5. Well they would reproduce the same way Dolphins would. And that is incredibly similar to humans actually. They probably actually would be born tail first like a dolphin and it would be a hell of a thing because that tail would not be great coming out just saying. Eggs though? Really? Now you know damn well that would ruin every mermaid romance in the history of ever. 

6. Calves. Baby Dolphins are called Calves and I think that from a scientific standpoint so would a baby mermaid. 

7. Whether or not they raise their calves...depends on the type of dolphin I think and the typical habitat of these creatures. Amazon River Dolphins, for example, are independent of their mothers within two or three years. 

8. I don’t know how annoyed would you be if your limbs suddenly weighed like twice as much. Chances are they’d have a hard time standing up and figuring out how to walk for a while even if they’ve done it before. that would be disorienting as hell. 

9. I think based on that they are mammals they’d be fine and it would be relatively normal. I actually couldn’t find much on this but if you’re correct in suggesting that aquatic mammals do indeed have control I would be inclined to believe a mermaid would as well given being half dolphin and 100% mammal. 

10. I got nothing for this one, I think this is more up to like a H2O mermaids type discussion where they question the science behind just how much water something has to actually contain before it’ll affect the mermaids changing back. Sweat is 99% percent water but evaporates on the skin so I don’t know the science behind that one.

11. I don’t think Dolphin skin is subject to this issue so I’m going to go with no. Research is pointing to no. 

12. I don’t even want to touch that anatomical structure, something has gone very wrong there. 

13. probably sneaky sabotage because humans are terrible and mermaids would go extinct real fast if humans caught wind of that. 

14. I mean...I’d like to think they’d be more intelligent than that and would probably be trying to get that stuff out of the ocean.That’s just my opinion though.

15. Well they wouldn’t have tear ducts as from what I can tell dolphins don’t, they’re under water and don’t need the tears to moisten their eyes. That’s not to say that they wouldn’t cry, just not the way that humans do. Dolphins do grieve and mourn their dead from what I’ve read. Have you ever watched a human cry? It’s not just tears, it’s an entire bodily reaction. I imagine a mermaid would be more of a vocal cry or a whole body shake like someone who’s crying hysterically or a combination of the two. Even just a facial expression. If this was the case you would absolutely be able to tell. 

Does that answer your questions? Do you have anymore? Because honestly I have fun researching this and looking into the behaviours of dolphins to compare them to typical human behaviours. It’s so clear adapting mermaids out of a combination of human and dolphins, the similarities are nuts and it pains me that I don’t see as many people working with this type of mermaid. I’ve grown pretty tired of seeing fish/human mermaid with their brightly coloured scales and this just makes more sense to me both from a drawing/writing point of few and a scientific one. 

However, I don’t claim to be an expert on dolphins and it’s entirely possible that I’m wrong but I can only really go off the information I found when researching. I was working on an AU idea and delved into researching this stuff and then I remembered Lauralot’s post (which if you haven’t seen it is here). Hope I was at least partially helpful in some way and I’m 100% open to discussion on this. I find very few things to be so passionate about that don’t give me a headache.