#instead he pretended everything was normal and came with me to drawing club

[freebooter4ever]

.

[rcksmith]

Mine — Kaz Brekker

(photo not mine)

Requests: “9 from the fluff prompts with Kaz brekker please? It could be where they're keeping it a secret and it slips out? Thanks”

“Could you possibly do a kaz brekker and reader imagine where they are both like in their mid twenties. Number 9 from the fluff prompts “So you're saying that girl is your girlfriend?" "No, that girl is my wife”, I could just imagine him with the smuggest grin saying it. Your a very good writer and thank you if you decide to write this.”

“Could I get a kaz brekker x reader secret relationship with fluff prompts 5, 7, 12, and 14 please?”

Fluff prompts:

5. ”Don’t smile at me like that. You know it drives me crazy.”

7. “I feel like i cant breathe when i’m around you.”

9. “So you're saying that girl is your girlfriend?!" "No, that girl is my wife!”

12. “I’m not jealous! Its just...you’re mine!”

14. “I don’t like to pretend we’re not together.”

Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader

Warnings: swearing, mention of fights, mention of post-traumatic stress, fluff too.

Word count: 2k.

A/N: Thank you💖 I hope you guys like. I changed some details a little, hope you don't mind

Normal Rules. Smut Rules.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you❤️

— — — —

Fissure. That's what mercenaries, thieves, assassins and his enemies were looking for. A fissure to drive Kaz Brekker to ruin. Burn his empire, wood for wood, until there is nothing left but funeral ashes swept away by the winter wind. Even the most infinitesimal fissure would ensure that his enemies infiltrate, like hungry parasites, into the heart of the dungeon of his deepest secrets. Swallowing, absorbing, any hint of what could do the infamous the Bastard of the Barrel down to his own knees.

And Kaz Brekker feared that if they looked into the most secluded corner of his dungeons, where it was reserved to hide the greatest truths of his soul, they would find the one only thing to beg on his knees for would be something he would do without hesitation.

You.

You were like the last summer solstice in a world ruled by darkness, cold and empty. Which he kept in a chest locked with seven chains.

If he had to describe you with the five senses, Brekker would remind that, when he was in the bitter cold of the ocean, clutching the stiffness of dead and putrefying flesh like a lifeboat, a ray of sunshine, warm as the summer, it opened up through the thunderclouds and came down to his face, warming that spot of skin like a kiss from the sun.

And it would be with that memory that he would describe you.

Kaz Brekker shouldn't have fallen in love with you. He was the person who most understood the disastrous consequences if he let himself get carried away by the way his heart sped up whenever he saw you. If he allowed herself to taste the way all of your heat radiated into his body and made him feel alive. But he fell in love.

Everything was all too much. The feeling of life every time you said his name, like a devotion, something religious, lyrical. The sweetness in your eyes, the warm voice. Everything had been too much.

And what should he do? Tell you he missed you every time you went on a mission? Saying that he were jealous and envy of Jesper because the man managed to make you laugh with a silly joke and hug you tight, something Kaz still hadn't been able to do? Tell you it was almost religious the way he venerated your smile? Of course not. Because all these things would have been sensible, and Kaz couldn't do anything sensible around you.

Because when he saw life offering him, with such joy, the one thing that had been denied him all his life, and that he swore never to crave, his first impulse was anger. Stupid, irrational anger.

So, for the first few moments, his entire reaction to you had been cold, distant, almost avoidant. Because the way his whole body shook in hot spasms when, in that summery tone, you called his name, it was too much for Kaz to handle.

“Kaz!” You call, one night.

He heard your voice from across the crow club, and had to close his eyes tightly at the way his heart leapt in his chest.

"Hey, hey." You appeared beside him, your cheeks chased away by coral red, the happy smile and the sparkle in your eyes as someone who have the path to true happiness. "Jessy said you were wanting to find a new way to invade that bank."

Oh perfect. In the same way his body exalted when he heard the sound of your name and your lips, hearing you call Jesper by that infernal nickname had a much more destabilizing effect. And fierce.

Kaz raised an eyebrow at you, in a nonchalant gesture but inviting you to keep talking.

“I happen to know of an underground path.” For an instant, the pride in your smile made Kaz want to smile too. “You and I can put together a map today and we'll be right tomorrow to go.”

That was one of the times Kaz should have made some dry, disinterested, trivial comment, something that made you not want to spend time with him, something that made you turn around and walk away. He should have turned around and left. He had done this over a thousand times with other people and knew it to be one of the best outings.

Still, the acid comment didn't come and he couldn't turn his back on you.

So, like the idiot he became whenever it came to you, Kaz couldn't help but spend an hour in your company. Even if it resulted in him lying in bed at the end of the day, alone and feeling the guilt gnawing at him more and more.

So, before he even knew it, Kaz was already in his office with you, listening to you chatter about things he knew he should have been paying attention to. But the way the crackling of the fire flames in the fireplace flashed across your face was a distraction of unimaginable proportions.

“Jessy and I…”

“You want to stop.” He found himself saying before he even realized it. “That nickname is already exasperating me.”

“Why? Jealousy?” You joked, oblivious to the truth.

Kaz looked at you like your comment was the most pathetic thing he'd ever heard. He wanted to screaming: ‘I’m not jealous! Its just...you’re mine!.’ But he didn't. Instead, the words that came out were:

“No. It's childish and immature, and it doesn't fit with...”

"What if I call you ‘Darling’?” You rested your chin on both palms of your hand, your elbows resting on his desk in his office.

Kaz's heart skipped a beat.

“That way you won't be jealous of Jessy's nickname and…”

“It's not jealousy!” He countered, and too late realized that he didn't disagree in the first instance about the nickname, but about the green color that emanated from his body.

And you didn't let that go either.

Your eyes took on a caustic gleam that you quickly hid, turning to the map on the table and going back to drawing the paths. “Okay, Darling.”

After that night, Kaz's self-control began to crumble.

He gave you death glares whenever you called him that nickname, but he never dared contradict or scold you. Much less deny it. The truth was, the core of his soul wanted this. He wanted every part of your caress warm as summer. He wanted to appreciate how perfect you looked when you called him that way. As if that nickname was born just to be used between you.

Something unique.

Over time, his body's physical reactions began to be stronger, coercive and overwhelming. Kaz felt dry, burning, and you soothed and inflamed him at the same time. You were the breath of peace, and also a glass of hot brandy.

And everything that he once felt dead, frozen or putrefying, slowly began to blossom, reborn and shine.

"Darling." You said, going behind the chair Kaz was sitting in, submerged in the Krisha security system sheets in front of he. “You've been there for hours.”

He ignored you, though his body was all too aware of yours behind him, the way your breath hit the top of his ear, how your heat hit his back like a high summer breeze. Kaz swallowed hard, ordering his eyes to stay on the pages.

“What are you reading?”

Your voice rang out from the top of his head, and Kaz felt his heart race into a cardiac arrhythmia the second your hands went to the back of the chair and your face tilted, chin hovering millimeters from his shoulder, your nose almost brushing his cheek.

Fucking Saints! You were hot! It was as if you had sun bathed, swam in the flames of fire, and been born into the summer.

Kaz lost his breath. His sanity. His soul.

“Do not do this.” His voice was no more than a whisper.

You looked at him, the furs not touching but breath hitting each other's cheeks. Kaz followed your gaze, and suddenly the world subtly turned hot. Pulsing and muffled.

“What?” You whispered, your heart so fast.

This was the time for Kaz to use the touche in a very valid argument. To make you move away as fast as you approached. To nip in the bud any path this interaction between you could take. He should have said about the touch. But he didn't remember. Kaz didn't remember his limitation, his traumas, his demons.

In that second, of insanity and magic, you couldn't do that just because…

"I feel like I cant breathe when I'm around you." He said.

After that day, Kaz realized that life no longer made sense without having you by his side to share it. Money didn't have the same value anymore if you weren't there, the robberies didn't make sense anymore if he couldn't tell you how it was at the end of the day, or have you by his side to fight.

Very quickly, Kaz Brekker realized that he had lost the battle against his own feelings. Loving you was inevitable. And having you close to him was made as essential as breathing. That's when things between the two of you developed faster, more solid, more right. The weeks turned to months, the months to years, and your relationship fortified as gloriously as the hilt of a sword.

Kaz still had very difficult moments with touching, days when a single brush of fur was unbearable and the mention of a kiss was impossible. But you stayed there. Firm and unshakable. Giving your summer smiles,your warm winks, and his nickname that had the power to soothe every nerve in Kaz's body.

However, the more Kaz understand that he was need you to he still live, the deeper he hid any trace of public affection for you. Any clue that could sparked the theory in someone that you were the reason, for Brekker, for the sun rose every morning. He couldn't bear the thought of losing you. Never.

Kaz Brekker became very aware that his soul was harnessed to yours. And there was nothing in the world that would take you away from he. Not while he lived, and even seven feet from land, Kaz would still find a way to fight for you.

It was a logical decision when he said you two should get married. Kaz was still trying to maintain his serene posture as his soul burned in a fire too eager and excited to make official anything that said you were his. That he had finally managed to have that ray of sunshine in the midst of the atrocious ocean. You, unlike him, exhaled your happiness in excited squeals, little jumps of joy and a passionate, quick kiss on the man in front of you.

And Kaz understood, as perfectly as the sky are blue, that he would do anything, for the rest of his life, to be worthy of that overwhelming happiness that sparkled in yours smiles.

“Don’t smile at me like that. You know it drives me crazy.” He said, feeling himself smile because your happiness for the wedding was exorbitant.

And you, like the little tease you were who loved to make him piss off, smiled even more and hugged him. He love you. Unconditionally.

But, just like the ocean waves, Kaz and you have had your ups and downs. He wasn't a man who had a lot of patience, and you weren't the most obedient, calm woman in the world. You found him exasperating and he found you as stubborn as a door.

"I already said you can't do that!" And there he was, once again, lecturing you because you showed too much affection, in his mind, for him in a public situation.

And, as Kaz fucking Brekker liked to point out, ‘all walls have eyes and ears’.

"We've been together for six years, Kaz!" You tried to keep your blood calm, but you weren't a person to put up with sermons. “Is this going to be our life? Living as if we have the same connection as a boss and an employee?!”

“And what do you want, Y/n?!” He placed both hands on his office desk, looking at you from the other side “Want us to have a party and tell everyone?! Or do you prefer to hang a red target on your chest?!”

"I did not say that!" You were starting to get really angry. “I'm not asking for a billboard saying we're married and you know it! The only thing I'm saying is that you let me choose to sit next to you, take your hand, or tell you I love you when any of us go off on a dangerous mission!"

Kaz shook his head, impassable, his gaze flashing with anger. How did you not realize he was trying to save you?! Save everything you two built, your lives! And all this for what? Walking hand in hand on the street? It was ridiculous!

“This is indisputable!”

“Kaz…”

“I said no!” He slapped his hands on the table.

A less brave woman would have cringed. But not you.

“I don’t like to pretend we’re not together!”

“And I don't like a fucking girl who complains all the fucking time about something I do to save her! But it feels like I've been put up with it for six years, doesn't it?!”

The words hit you like a slap. Crackling, burning and electrifying. You felt yourself holding your breath and your shoulders instinctively tightening back. The room was silent. Loaded with tension, as if lightning had just hit the ground.

You looked at Kaz in amazement. And he pursed his lips when he realized what he'd said.

“Put up with? And you call me ‘fucking girl’ ?” You repeated, your voice low, serious and in a mixture of hurt and outrage. “Good to know.”

You turned your back, walking out of the office and slamming the door behind you hard, making the thud reverberate through the corridors of Kaz's soul.

"Y/n!" He called you, striding to the door "Y/n!"

But when Kaz pulled the doorknob and took a few steps down the hall, it wasn't you he bumped into. It was Nina, trying to hide, in a very terrible way, her curious and shocked expression. In female hands she carried a small stack of documents, probably something important that Kaz needed to check.

He had to check that out. But his eyes, restless and quick, wandered the great hall of the crow club below, watching your figure pass between the bodies, advancing towards the exit.

"Sooo…" Nina started, even though the attention wasn't on her. "Couple fights, right?"

But Kaz didn't think before nodding, trying to get past Nina to catch up with you. But of course the girl wasn't going to let Brekker get away with it that quickly. She was betting with Inej how long you two would pretend to have nothing. And now she was going to get the truth!

"So you're saying that girl is your girlfriend?" The smile of shock and excitement was wide open on her face.

Kaz muttered a curse, gently pushing the girl aside and moving towards the stairs, aiming to catch up with you. But not before answering:

"No, that girl is my wife!"

[yandere-sins]

hii! may i request soft yandere akaashi x fem! reader? she is smol, sweet, and innocent. akaashi loves her so much and act so soft towards her, but he secretly manipulate her and one day when they cuddle she asked him why he never let her hangout with her friends and why he never introduce her to his friends

sorry if it's too detail, you can add or change the scene if it's too hard. thankyou so much! have a nice day!^^

Thanks for your request, sorry it took a while! ^-^

»»———————— ♡ ————————««     

It could have been perfect.

His arm around you, fingers drawing circles into your back. Akaashi smelled like the peachy soap you put into the bath, and his still-damp hair tickled your face when you nuzzled deeper into his shoulder. From the way that your legs were draped over his, his other hand tenderly squeezing out the tension from your shins, to the movie playing away on the big television in front of you, everything was so perfect.

You two had saved up for a bit over a year to afford a lovely city home. Akaashi had come with you to buy decorations, and you two would fetch late dinners on your way home with full IKEA bags. He always took the big and heavy ones from you, even if you complained. Last night, he asked you if you two should take the next step.

“Like a child?” you asked him, and he began to splutter, turning his face away. “Or a bird...” was his curt answer before he hid under the covers as you laughed loudly. But soon enough, even that joyful moment turned indifferent. When the lights were out and Akaashi asleep, the world seemed to slow down. Even if you were grateful for the pleasant life you had and the loving husband by your side, why was the feeling of everything being perfect so... so...

Boring?

“What are your plans for tomorrow?” you asked, filling your mouth with the popcorn that sat in a bowl on your lap.

“I’ll be working late,” he noted, giving your back soft, comforting pats. You didn’t really need him to comfort you. Working late wasn’t the end of the world for normal people. And normally, it wouldn’t be to you either.

“Ah, I see. No worries, I’ll be out with friends, so I will leave dinner in the fridge--”

Ah, you thought, feeling his hand grab your shin tightly. It’s about to be not so boring anymore.

“Which friends?” he asked, choking back the bothered undertone in his voice.

“You know, from college.” Your answer was dissatisfying, that much you could read from his face as you looked up at him, meeting his cold eyes. “Why them? You haven’t been in contact for a while. I thought you guys grew apart.”

“I thought so too, but they invited me out to drink.” Sighing, you pushed off his hand, still digging into your leg, pulling your limbs off his lap to sit properly beside him. The moment you set down the bowl of popcorn, you heard the television switch off, Akaashi taking a deep breath. Arguments weren’t so uncommon, even in a relationship as perfect as yours. Sometimes it were just the pickled vegetables he didn’t like, and sometimes it were the friends that Akaashi hated so much ever since you met him that would cause them. Either way, they were always awful for you.

“I haven’t seen them in a while! I’m excited!”

Honest emotions. That would do, right? If you were happy, so was he, right?

But he wasn’t.

Akaashi simply stared at you quietly, judging. He was scolding you with his silence, even though he wasn’t a big talker to begin with.

“You know I can’t stand them,” he snarled.

“But they are my friends, not yours.”

“It would be better if you didn’t see them.”

There was no reasoning with him when he was like that, you found. Akaashi would rather bite his tongue while arguing only his viewpoint than take up the truth he didn’t want to hear from you. There was no amount of ‘yes’ and ‘amen’ you could have plead to him that would have made him less aversed to saying ‘no’ to you in return.

“Why are you like this?” you whispered, genuinely feeling hurt. Everyone admired you for the strong bond you two shared. Your parents shed tears of joy at the wedding. Everything was so perfect, but why was it only perfect when you were unhappy?

“You never let me go out, and I haven’t even met any of your friends yet! What harm is there in spending time with my friends rather than twiddling my thumb while waiting for you to return here? What could possibly happen that would make it impossible for me to do something without you?!”

Silence. As always.

Sighing, Akaashi got up, and you felt a string of anger forming a knot in your stomach. No one liked arguments, not even you! But running from them wasn’t a solution. Running away from your partner’s feelings wasn’t something you could do when you chose to be together!

“You wouldn’t understand,” he muttered as he reached for the door handle to walk out, and you sprung up, almost beggings as you pleaded, “Then please tell me!”

You were sick and tired of being left alone and snubbed. If only there was a good reason for him to act the way he did, but by all that was holy to you, you couldn’t find it. Akaashi, however, did stop, taking another deep breath before pinching his nose. If he left now, you knew it would take days for you to reconcile, you two pouting and only pretending to be fine in front of your family to keep face. Eventually, you’d just forget and move on, but that too was something you were sick and tired of, always having to swallow what happened in favor of a happy home life.

“It’s just going out with friends for a drink...” you mumbled, shoulders slumping in defeat.

Say something! you wished quietly. Anything! Just don’t go.

“It’s just going out with friends now,” Akaashi sighed, turning around to face you. Again, you were met with this cold stare of his, making it impossible to read him. Was he angry? Probably, but you wouldn’t know just from his expression. “And then? What if they want to go to a club? Will you go with them?”

Furrowing your brows, you questioned what he was going at, but now that Akaashi suddenly began stalking back to you, you were overcome with a very different type of panic. He had never advanced towards you like this, with his footsteps echoing in the silent room loudly and his body appearing to be bigger than it was just from the tension in it.

“So what’s next? Are you going to let others leer at you? Have them grab your shoulder, grind up to you on the dancefloor? Are you going to let them ask you to go to a hotel with them?”

“What?! N-No!” you stammered, unable to believe what he was suggesting.

“How will you know? What about your friends? Did you check them? What are they doing? Who are they with? If one of them has a crush on you, are you going to allow them to confess it? Are you going to run our marriage into a ditch just because they invited you out for a drink?”

Akaashi really did manage to make you ask yourself twice if this was all your fault as you heard his arguments. He made you question if there was truth behind his words or if the feeling inside of you was just the paranoia that he created.

Your relationship was so perfect, except when it wasn’t.

“Of course not...” you whispered, standing still as he laid his hands on your shoulders. You couldn’t even look him in the eyes, but you knew he was staring holes into you. All you wanted was to go out, to live a little. To experience and make memories, even if they didn’t include him. You didn’t think about these things, and you believed in yourself to not be unfaithful. But had this always been such a big concern in your relationship?

“I worry because I swore that we’d be together until death do us part! I care so much about you--I love you!” His assertion was barely meaningful to you now. After so much time at Akaashi’s side, you were sure that deep down, you loved him. You just didn’t love this perfect world you had with him. The ideal that he created.

Not, if perfect meant this.

“I’ll come home early tomorrow, and we can go to the cinema,” he tried to console you, fingers snaking under your chin to lift it. You barely returned the kiss he planted on your lips, ever-so-slightly averting your head from the affection. Akaashi paused, asserting your every move before pressing you for your answer. “Cancel your plans with them, okay?”

“Okay...” you mumbled unenthusiastically.

His touch lingered for a moment more before he finally pulled away, breathing out slowly before making his way to the kitchen. “Do you want some water?” he yelled back over his shoulder, but your answer never came. No amount of water or love could make up for how suppressed you felt by him and the conversation you just had. He loved you. He worried. It was always his feelings that mattered.

But what about you? Were your feelings irrelevant again?

Did it not matter that you felt like a caged bird by his side? That all the perfection made it truly suffocating? That everything had to be his way but never yours? He decided when you two went out and where. Akaashi was the one to put everything into motion, and you were glad if you could manage to surprise him with his present on his birthday. It was his schedule you followed, but he never asked if you were happy with how things were going. As if he didn’t care that you were bored and longing for more in life than just being by his side.

Your life could have been perfect. You two could have made it work and lived happily. But Akaashi didn’t want to work it out. He didn’t want to compromise or give you your own will. Instead, he chose to possess and monopolize you over true love and happiness.

And you were left to wonder for how long ‘perfect’ had actually just been ‘hell’.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

champagne problems

pairing: mob!bucky barnes x reader

warnings: smut

a/n: oooo smut. the next chapter is the last and i’m depressed about it already

TOLERATE IT - TIS THE DAMN SEASON

Bustling crowds or silent sleepers, you’re not sure which is worse ...

Her shift dragged; it seemed as if the clock was stuck and moving only a minute after three hours had passed and even though there was the same sea of people coming through the doors of the club, the shift felt slow. Everything was in slow motion and her eyes daren’t move from the bar. Bobby was still on holiday and as such it as merely her, ignoring everyone and every word which came her way and ignoring Edward who kept nagging her about Mr. Barnes, a person who she didn’t want to look at.

She didn’t understand how one could just pretend to be entranced by another one and just turn it on yet she would also not debate her mind about what her feelings were for her boss, the same boss she was supposed to betray. She was supposed to betray him and yet she didn’t know how or even if she wanted to. Why should she? They clearly had sent Edward in and him being the spineless vermin he was, she was sure he’d quickly join his group by quickly sleeping with the woman who surrounded the mob boss. The women ... the women were always so beautiful, beautiful enough to make Y/N want to make herself up before she came up to the bar, feeling too bland next to the gorgeous women who paraded around him. Beautiful dresses, spotless faces, beautiful makeup, beautiful hair and here she was, in her old cardigan cleaning the bar with dirty rags stinking of a mix between bleach, peanuts and booze. 

Once the lights were up and every single glass was washed and placed on their due shelf for tomorrow she was out. Bag hanging from her shoulder and books against her chest, she took the backdoor. The front door always had freshly drunk or high people whom she wanted no problems with. As she pushed the door open, she saw him, smoking in front of him car looking so effortlessly cool, chic even. It was pouring, raining so harshly it would drench anyone who dared step foot in yet he just stood there unbothered, cigarette still somehow burning, water drops rolling of his trench coat. Usually she would’ve entered the car and allow herself to be driven home; instead she turned her head to the side, pretending she hadn’t seen him. He, however, had seen her. 

      - Wanda picking you up today, petal? - he said in a mocking tone, throwing the butt onto the bin.

      - No, sir. - she stopped, still not daring to look at him. - I thought about walking home alone. 

      - At night? When it’s pouring? Sometimes I think you like to get hurt, petal. 

      - With all due respect, Mr. Barnes, I think I should go by myself.

      - Please. - he sighed, hands on his hips. - Get in the car, I’ll drive you the fastest I can. You don’t even need to look my way. 

Her lips tightened. It was pouring rain, her clothes were already as drenched as they could be and she had been less than 10 minutes. She sighed, walking through puddles of water towards and away from him and inside his car, setting against the leathered seats. Bucky chuckled, watching from the side of his eye as she crossed her arms across her chest like a kid, avoiding his gaze as if he were the devil. Maybe he was, but he would never act like it in front of her.

She watched the rain fall down the window like waterfalls. It was bad, bad enough she could start seeing the water almost pool on the asphalt of the road. As they kept driving through the darkness, only the headlights giving light to the dark road until blinding lights came into their front view. Police came into view with their lights but all she could see was the bar barring the only way into her road. Bucky pulled the window down, charming smile as the cop realised who he was speaking with. She looked at her knees, perfectly knowing who it was, perfectly knowing if he discovered who she was so would James and she was locked in a car with him. Not a good combination.

     - Evening, officer. What seems to be the problem?

     - Mr. Barnes, sir. - she tipped his cap at him. - The road is flooded. We feared this and warned all residents to be at home before 5PM. 

     - I understand, officer but you see my employee here lives just down the road. Can’t I walk her in? Come on, you know I always pay you back, double even.

     - It’s up to your knees, sir. You’re better off in a hotel for the night, m’am. Safety protocol. 

James turned around his car making her look his way as he started driving away from her home. What was he doing? How was she supposed to go back home and how was she supposed to calm down when he was driving her away from her home. Was he going to drop her at a hotel? Was he going going to drop her, she didn’t know. She opened her mouth, waiting for words to come out but nothing came out. She didn’t know what to ask, what to say other than yell at him to let her out yet she didn’t. Y/N didn’t want to yell at him. 

He noticed this, slowing down the normal fast pace at which he liked to drive, only now hearing to both of them breathing and the water drops of rain hit the windows. He could see her, through the mirror, her face leaning against the window, eyes reflection a sort of fight he was sure never to completely understand, only partially knowing. His eyes returned to the road ahead, the lights of each house dimming as everyone prepared to hold each other tight, hold their loved ones as the storm continued. He could only look at himself, almost as his vision refused to notice she was right there but she was. Both locked in the same car. 

     - You can stay at my place tonight. - he mumbled. - You’ve been there before. I’ll drive you back first thing in the morning. 

She didn’t replied, instead letting her own eyes close momentarily, head laying against the water stained glass. She listened to the rain, considering all her life choices or what she was even doing. Was she okay with becoming this close to the mob boss? Becoming part of the inner group of females who followed him, just another name in a big list. Was that the question she should be asking? No. Did she really want to ask herself the question she had to? Also no. It was much easier to tell herself it was business. It was much easier to lie than tell the truth.

Y/N opened her eyes once again as the car slowed down and the sounds of rain drops were no longer around heard. They were parked inside his garage, one which she had seen before. He was the first one out the car, opening the door before walking away. She made haste to get off the car, almost power walking after him as he pressed the lift’s button to open the doors. The doors slide open and he stepped in, her following behind.

    - I’ll be sleeping in a hotel down the street so you can calm down. 

    - You can stay if you want. I mean, it’s your house. 

    - Why should I? So you can freak out about the possibility of me killing you?

    - That’s not it. 

    - Afraid I’m going to force myself on you? - he scoffed. - You know what, Y/N? I’m just not gonna be there and you can do whatever you want without blaming me for whatever theories you have. 

    - Why are you so mad suddenly? 

    - I’m not mad.

    - Yes, you are. - she crossed her arms. - Excuse me if I don’t feel comfortable around you when you have more than two hundred kills blamed on you, when you’re constantly surrounded by girls and the rumours and the guns you always carry. 

   - I’ve killed two people in my whole life. Two. - he pointed his finger at her, making her take a step back. - They deserved it and I’m so tired of trying to make you feel safe. I get you a job and you’re upset, I get you a job waitressing so idiots won’t treat you like shit and you think I’m being the bad guy. I drive you home every single time and you still look at me as if I’m going to kill you. You can think whatever you want, I’m done. 

She was going to rebuff him, tell him he was wrong but that wasn’t true. She couldn’t say he was wrong out of principle and because once the doors slide open, he disappeared into his big apartment. Y/N stayed behind, heart heavy as she threw her soaked bag onto the couch, sitting on it with a huff. Like a kid she put her hand under her chin, she knew he was right. Of course she knew. But she was the captain’s daughter, she was the one who’d heard tales and seen photos of terrible crimes on the kitchen table when she came in to show her dad her drawings. She knew it, she just didn’t exactly knew what he did. It was all very hush hush, mostly rumours, which ran from people to people and like the game of the broken phone, things got distorted.

She was the captain’s daughter but this wasn’t her. It wasn’t her identity. She knew better not to judge someone by rumours and gossip, her mother had taught her better than that yet she wanted to have her little walls. She wanted to be surrounded by that wall, that wall which said she felt absolutely nothing and that she was doing a good job. Y/N knew, she knew way too well what having those walls crumbling would mean. It would mean she was a woman infatuated with a man. Plain and simple, except it wasn’t and it wasn’t just a woman and just a man, it was the captain’s daughter and the mob boss. She knew not to slap labels on things but this is what it was, this was what she had been her whole life, not Y/N, not the nurse student, not her last name but the Captain’s daughter and him, him it was the same. She could count the number of people who knew his full name or even his first name in one hand. He was the boss. The mob boss, Barnes. Never James Buchanan Barnes. 

She sighed, looking to the chess board in the table in front of her. However, unlike everything else in the room which was absolutely spotless, organised and unseeingly unlived in, the chess board was still in the same position they had left it. Her fingers grazed the black chess king, holding it up to her eyes. The piece she had won.

His shoes hit the linoleum floor making her look his way. He had a small leather carry on, something quite stylish and refused to make eye contact with her instead walking straight to the elevator.

     - Mr. Barnes. - she perked up from the couch, getting his attention instantly. If she only knew. - Can you entertain me for a second?

     - I’m leaving, Y/N. What do you need?

     - Sit down. - she pointed at the couch in front of her. Bucky scoffed, for someone who was afraid of him killing her, she sure didn’t mind ordering him around. Her. The bartender. - Play with me. 

      - Play with you? - he dropped the suitcase to the floor, walking slowly to the chair in front of her. She sat against her own chair like a throne and so did he, standing in front of her. - You should be careful with your word choice.

      - You should be careful with me winning again.

      - I’ve learned all your moves, petal. I’m an observant player. 

      - I doubt that.

Bucky leaned over, setting his pieces as she did the same. Soon enough they were back to playing. Bucky observed her, watching as every play was so calculated, never by chance, lip in the middle of her teeth as she smoothly moved her pieces around almost like a ballet dance. Bucky remembered playing against more experienced players. “Chess is the game of the mind, James. You need to almost control and predict them to win” his teacher would tell him. She was impossible to read, always looking deep in thought yet so calm and collected, he guessed she needed that for the field she was in.

His pieces were dropped on her side, her taking what was his without any doubt until she stole his queen. Now, James’ knew not to play anymore. It was a courtesy of chess, yet she still didn’t look or carried the air of someone who had just won her game. Instead she looked at him, waiting for his move. Bucky leaned against his chair. 

      - You won. I should be leaving, it’s late. 

      - Wait, just .... why don’t you stay for a bit? We could talk, I’m not that tired yet. 

      - Petal, it’s late.

      - I’ll fix you a drink.

      - You can’t fix a scotch if your live depended on it. - he chuckled. - How about I fix you a drink? What’s your poison?

      - Can I get some tea? 

      - Sure. - he shrugged. - Which one do you want?

     - You have more than one type of tea? - she smirked, legs crossed over one another, the old wool dress still clinging to her skin due to the soaking wet fabric. James tried not to eye her, instead turning his back before he could be blamed of checking her out. - You don’t strike me as the type of person to like tea.

     - Maybe I’m just trying to impress you. 

     - Then in that case you should have biscuits. - she turned around on the couch, knees of the cushioned seat as she stared at him in the kitchen. He looked exactly like the type of man on the cover of an IKEA magazine, those ones were a shirtless man is holding a coffee cup like every morning after sex fantasy of every woman. 

     - I do have biscuits, petal. Which ones do you want?

     - Which ones do you have?

     - Try me.

     - Chocolate covered digestives. Only one side chocolate. 

     - An educated choice. - he opened one of the many drawers of his kitchen, pulling an acrylic container fulled to the brim with the same biscuits she had described. A man of taste indeed. He handed them a plate with three biscuits followed by the one tea cups he had which were his coffee mugs, always spotless white. She envied how pristine everything was in his home. In her flat, half the cutlery was hers, the other half Wanda’s and none matched with one being bright blue and the other one bright red. 

As for him, she knew what he drank, always the same, always the same old scotch. At this point she wondered if he liked it or if it was a power symbol. Big powerful man drinking the most expensive scotch in the world. At least it was the most expensive scotch when she researched it on her laptop on a particularly boring lecture. Yet, it somehow wasn’t the drink which gave him that untouchable appearance. It was him. 

    - I have a question. - he moved the glass away from his lips, pinkie finger pointing at her. - How come you ended up dating my cleaning boy?

    - We didn’t date. - she snorted, completely forgetting who she was speaking with. - His mother and my father dated for a long time after my mum died .. to be honest, I think it started before my mum died. Anyway, she had this awfully annoying kid, first time he came in he broke the head of my doll.

    - Oh no, petal. Should I break his head? - James joked, downing whatever was left of his scotch.

    - I would take you up on that. - Y/N rolled her eyes. - Dad always liked him, he once told me he was the child he never had.

    - Ouch. 

    - Well, he wanted a boy. - she leaned against the cushioned coach. - I don’t know why he said we dated, I would never.

    - Good.

    - Why do you ask? - she leaned her head against her shoulder

    - You have potential, petal. I thought maybe being around him would make him want to get back together ... I mean, you’re going to be a nurse.

    - Don’t trust him. - she held the mug against both her hands. 

    - Pardon?

    - Don’t trust him. Edward, I mean. Don’t tell him anything, don’t say anything, just don’t trust him.

    - You know something I don’t? - he put both his hands on either side of the couch’s handles. 

    - Promise me.

    - Petal ...

    - Promise me. - she cupped his face, looking him deep into those baby blue eyes she had gotten so used to see every day. - Promise me, okay? Just ... you don’t need to know. Promise me.

    - Petal, I’d do everything for you. - he rested his hand against her warm cheek. She reacted to his touch, leaning against his rough palm. Her eyes travelled towards his, looking at him like someone she’d knew from. Like an old friend. He leaned towards her, nose against hers. 

Her eyes flustered, cheeks warm and she no longer knew if it was due to the apartment’s heating or because he was looking at her that way. She closed her eyes, listening to the small sounds of the environment surrounding her. Bucky kissed her forehead as her eyes opened and the world seemed to stop for a while as if she was living her own version of a 1950′s romantic movie. Her finger caressed his cheek.

    - Well, you shouldn’t do everything for me. I’ll break your heart.

    - Already broken.

Y/N’s lip quivered at those words. It was if he had been meaning to say them but had held them in for so long, forceful forbidding himself to even think it and it broke her heart to hear it. She leaned her forehead against his, looking at him with a look Bucky didn’t remember seeing. God, he was so used to seeing fear in other’s faces that he almost forgot what ... it didn’t mind anymore. He’d done that mistake once early this day and he wasn’t going to do it again. She didn’t want him and he wasn’t going to try and convince her. She doesn’t belong in his world and she doesn’t belong in his. 

     - Kiss me. - Bucky didn’t think twice, immediately kissing her as if his life depended on it.

He pulled her away from the couch’s rest, pulling her towards him and caging her in his hold as her hands fell from his face and rested upon his shoulders. His jacket was discarded to the corner of the room, leaving the mob boss only in his soft black dress up shirt. His hands pulled at the hem of her dress which peeled off her body almost perfectly, the sheen on the water on her beautiful skin which made him want to run his lips over it. Her fingers grazed over the dark buttons of his shirt, pulling them off their own fabric rips to open his shirt which slide down his perfect physic. Her dress hanged by her hips as he raised her to lay atop his lap, throwing the chess board to the floor as his hands roamed her back. The pieces fell to the ground, some breaking, some rolling but none of them really cared too lost on each other.

Bucky turned her around, laying her atop the coffee table before sitting in the same couch she had been sitting. He could just look at her forever - warm damp skin, lips half open, irregular breathing, innocent knowing eyes. He could look at that forever and be happy yet all he wanted was to feel her, kiss her skin, sense the faint smell of the Daisy perfume she would reapply behind the bar every once in a while. He smirked, leaning over her body, one hand gathering both her hands above her head while the other held her waist, lips leaning from her jaw to her neck. She whined, fingers moving and wrists turning as she tried to free herself from his grip, wanting to hold him but he didn’t allow her. Instead, Bucky started sucking on her pressure point, wanting to leave a mark for others to see before moving to her collarbones, down her perfect swells and to her belly button.

He smirked as he reached where her dress was hanging. He pulled it slowly out of her legs coming face to face with her beige underwear with a little bow up top. A little present for him to open. 

Y/N could feel his finger grazing her skin, dragging teasingly. He was so close, so close to her core and yet so far. All she wanted to do was push him to do it but he had her hands tightly caged in his hand. She looked at him with pleading eyes, almost pouting making him chuckle at how needy she was. He would’ve toy with her had he not want to feel her for so long.

He dragged her underwear down her legs, throwing it across his living room before setting himself on his knees in front of her. There he was, the most powerful man in the town kneeled in front of her, kissing her leg from her ankle to the apex of her thigh. All she could feel was his soft lips contrasting with the rough stubble he had which made the mix of emotions much more interesting. It was slow yet hungry at the same time and she expected him to keep at it until his lips moved to her core abruptly. She held it a moan on her throat, oxygen punched out of her lungs as she moved her head to the side. 

Bucky hooked both her legs over her shoulders, getting the access he so wanted, getting her where he’d always wanter her. She moaned uncontrollably as his tongue teased her entrance, lips suckling her bud. Y/N wanted to hold onto his head, pull on his hair and her fingers kept contracting as she fought his handle of her hands. It was too much, so much she could feel herself start to cry, not remembering the last time someone had paid this much attention to her. She tried not to focus on him eating her out, feeling like if she did she’d come down from her high as fast as she had gotten there. Once he started moaning against her core, the vibration drove her over the edge yet he remained there licking and lapping at whatever she had to offer as she regained her breathe. 

    - You okay there, petal? - he rose, leaning over to kiss her, releasing her hands. As if they were magnetic, she cupped his face, feeling his skin against her fingers. He pulled his lips away from her, expecting an answer but she only nodded, hands leaving his face to travel to his trousers to try and push them down. Bucky aided her with that, pushing his trousers down and pulling her closer.

He could see his eyes look into his, so beautiful yet so lustful at the same time. God this woman, he thought to himself, this woman is gonna end me. His hand searched for hers, intertwining his fingers with hers as he slowly started to enter her, her walls accommodating him like they were made for each other. She forcefully shut her eyes, the sting being the first thing she felt, not used to being stretched out like that.

   - It’s okay, petal. - he kissed her forehead. - We can stop, do you wanna stop?

   - No. - she moaned, the sting started to fade as pleasure gave way. He got her signal and started to slowly rock in and out of her, eyes glued to were they were both connected. Dear God. He couldn’t help but pick up the pace at the sound of her lustful moans, leaning down to kiss her as he lost control over what pace they were at, instead going by instinct. 

She could feel and hear everything; her walls tightening around him, milking him for what he was worth it, the groans that sounded like moans that he would let out, his lips never leaving hers no matter how messy the kiss became, the slapping sound of their skin meeting.  The room was hot, filled with sighs and groans and moans, something pornographic. 

    - Come on, petal. You’re gonna come undone for me, yeah? Just for me. - he tried to get a grip on himself as she started to clench on him more often. His hands came up behind her back, slowly raising it from the coffee table as he quickened his pace, still panting but not stopping as if he had been possessed by an incubus. How could he stop? How could he stop when she looked like that, head thrown back, lips swollen and open, fucking perfect. 

A high pitched moan made the room go completely new, it was almost as if she were high, white spots crowding her view as she let her muscles relax and fall back. James held her, throwing himself to the couch behind him, her on top of him as ropes of white spurted inside of her and spilled onto the couch. Fuck, he wanted to keep those stains so he could remember. Her head rested against his shoulder, breathing returning to normal as he kissed her hair. 

      - If you wanted me to stay so badly, you could’ve just asked. - he grinned, kissing her head once more.

      - Shut up. - she giggled, turning her head to look at him. - Hi.

      - Hi. - he smiled. His hand blindly searched for one of the many useless blankets that adorned his couches to wrap her in. Once he found one, he drapped it over her back, managing to get up and walk to her room.

She wanted to stay awake, she wanted to stay awake and spend the night talking to him but once the blanket draped over her back, she was good as gone. 

The morning rose with its cloudy skies, the dim lighting awaking her up as she rose her head from the bed, hair made into a tangled mess. He had an arm over her, face to her back, softly sleeping. She wondered why it was so surprising to see him like that, even mob bosses sleep but he just looked so peaceful, so ... so normal. Almost as if they could be a regular couple just like everyone else. She shifted in bed, to look at him, her slight moves immediately awaking him but he chose to keep his eyes close, not wanting her to worry about waking him up. 

   - I know you’re awake. - she said, voice laced with sleep as she noticed his breathe pattern change as well as his eyelids twitching. - James. 

   - Bucky. - he corrected. - You can call me James when I’m fucking you but I prefer Bucky. 

   - Bucky. - she repeated. - I like that.

   - Do you wanna have breakfast? - he opened his eyes. - Anything you want. 

   - You’re gonna cook me breakfast or are you gonna force the shops to open at ... - she looked at her watch, colour draining from her face. - 10AM. Holy shit, I’m late.

   - Y/N ... - he laughed as she got out of the bed, bed sheet wrapped around her body as she searched his room for her clothing. - It’s drying in the bathroom, petal. 

   - I’M LATE. I’M LATE TO THE ONLY CLASS I LIKE. - she rushed over to the bathroom, almost tripping on the large sheet. Bucky stood on his side, watching her with a silly grin as she pulled the dress over her body along with her underwear. - STOP STARING, YOU’RE DRIVING. 

   - You’re calling the shots now? - he cocked an eyebrow at her. 

   - I’m late. - she kneeled on his bed, trying to push him out of it. - Bucky, c’mon.

   - No, petal. You’re already late, just stay the day with me. I’ll even give you the day off. 

   - I have to graduate first. - she crossed her arms.

   - Okay. 

Bucky was quick to get dressed, grabbing his car keys from the hook on the door before taking her down to the garage and into the car. Y/N pushed down the mirror, trying to fix whatever mess he had done to her. There was not much she could do but try and comb her hair and push her dress’ neckline up to try and hide the hickeys. She kept looking at her watch, wondering if she’d make it and as he parked in front of her department’s building, she only had 5 minutes to go. It felt more like a one night stand but desperate times called for desperate measures and besides she was working this night so she could explain to him that she wasn’t trying to bail.

   - I can’t drive you home tonight, petal. Gotta receive a shipping by the docks. Sam will probably drive you, I’ll speak with him at the club and I’ll let you know before I leave.

   - It’s okay I can ask Pietro or Wanda. 

   - Go on before you’re actually late for it. - he opened her door and she sprinted like a mad woman.

As she walked into the lecture hall, most of her colleagues, including Wanda, were already sat on. She shamefully hide her head, climbing up the stairs to the middle row where Wanda had kindly saved her a seat and was probably wondering where she had been and why she hadn’t called. Once she sat, down, the questions ran down on her. 

   - You look like hell, Y/N. God, why do you even have a phone if you don’t call me or Pietro? 

   - I’m sorry, they had blocked the road.

   - Did they block your phone signal?

   - No. - she sighed. - Hey, you think Pietro or you can pick me up today? Mr. Barnes is receiving a shipment tonight.

   - He’s receiving a shipment? Do you know where?

   - Uhm ... yes.

   - Good, that means you can tell your father and you can finally quit that god awful job and behave like regular Y/N.

She had forgotten. She knew where the shipment was, she had the smoking gun, she was done, right? Why did it felt so heavy? That was what she was put into his life for, to get information yet she couldn’t find herself to send the text to her father. The rest of the day she stared at her phone, at her father’s number, her fingers hovering over the keypad. She knew the answer, docks. Five letters, one word. There was only that place yet writing those five letters seemed to be the hardest thing in the world. She had time, she told herself. She had time to send her father the message so she spent the day ignoring it.

As she walked on the cobblestones that led to the bar, her resolve only broke looser. She didn’t want to send that text, he didn’t deserve that, he didn’t deserve to have her stab him in the back. She didn’t want to stab him in the back, that was not her. Maybe that was what they wanted of her but it wasn’t her and it was not going to be her. As she stepped inside the already half full bar, she turned off her phone. Nobody needs to know, nobody will know. As she told herself those words, someone pushed her arm, throwing her onto the supply cupboard. She looked up to see Edward locking the door behind them.

  - What the fuck? I have a job to do. - she tried to push past him but he stood there. - What do you want?

  - The waiters said they saw you get in the car with Barnes.

  - So? - she crossed her arms. - He drives me home.

  - I knew you shouldn’t be in the case. I mean, you’re a wannabe nurse and you think you’re in the big league.

  - What is that supposed to mean? I was put up to this way before you were.

  - Wonder why? You’re doing a shit job and now you’re fucking sleeping with Barnes? I always knew you got what you wanted but I never knew you were a mob boss’ whore now. 

  - Oh fuck off, Edward. - she tried to push him once again but he pushed her back and further into the cupboard.

  - Where’s the shipment, Y/N? Do the right thing and you can go back to sucking him off. 

  - You can go to hell.

  - WHERE IS IT? - he pushed her against the wall but she spat on his face. - Fine, you know what fine. Guys like him are never gonna go to prison, he’s just gonna buy his way out. If you want things done, do them yourself.

   - Don’t do anything stupid, Edward. - she pleading, following him as he walked to the door. - You’re not gonna win. Just give up.

   - I hope you fucked him goodbye. - his hand went into the hem of his pants, she knew damn well what he was about to grab and about to do. She rushed to the door but he locked it on her face. Her heart raced as she started to punch and kick the door, screaming at him to open the door. 

    - Bastard! - she mumbled, looking over the cupboard and at the small window up the top. There was a series of creaky shelves under them. Hopefully it was open. Carefully, she moved the stuff out the shelves and started to climb them until the last one which gave her enough room to push the window open. As she reached for the latch, the window didn’t move. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She looked around, looking for anything to break the window with but everything was merely brooms and old rags. She wrapped an old vodka smelling rag around her hand and sighed. It’s okay, you’ve seen it done in the movies besides it’s an old cupboard, old window. It’s gonna be easy. She bite her lip and swung her hand towards the glass which shattered into her hand, a few pieces lodging into her palm. It was a hole small enough for her to put her hand in and open the latch from outside. As she done it, the window creaked open and she jumped into the small space, wiggling out of it and falling onto the ground.

Once she found herself in the alleyway she ran over to the employees door, opening it and rushing into the dance floor. Her eyes scanned the room, his usual table was empty and he wasn’t either at the bar. Her best option was to try and find him before Edward did. Although she harboured a grudge against him, she could not overpower it. She mixed with the rest of the club goers trying to look for Bucky until she spotted him moving through the crowd. She pushed a few people away, trying to reach him by yelling out his name but the music was too loud. Luckily for her, the crowds were easy enough to overcome and she finally reached him, tugging onto his jacket before he could leave.

  - Hey petal. You’re on your break? - he asked, smiling down at her.

  - Bucky, I need to tell you something.

  - What happened to you hand? - he noticed her bleeding hand. - Did you drop a bottle? Did someone hurt you?

  - Bucky, wait, I ...

  - BARNES! - a voice interrupted her. The crowd screamed and stepped away as Edward held a gun up. Bucky put his arm over her shoulder to push her behind him but she stepped in front of him. 

The sound of the gunshot went off, everyone was screaming and running out of the club but all she could hear was a beep. Her breath seemed to falter once to quicken again as her muscles lost force and she felt herself falling. She awaited to hit the ground but someone held her.

  - FUCKING KILL HIM! - she could hear Bucky’s voice in slow motion almost as everything went darker than the club she was in.

She would’ve made such a lovely bride, what a shame she’s fucked in the head

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[you-can-call-me-wanda]

Saying Goodbye

Pairing: Izzy Stradlin x Reader (Requested)

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy! This is my first ever Guns N Roses imagine!

“Hey (Y/N), you coming to the party?”

You looked up from what you were doing to meet the gaze of your coworker, Chase. He stood across from you, wrapping up cables and sorting them before putting them away. He looked at you expectantly.

“Is there a party tonight?” you asked him. As a roadie, you weren’t commonly invited to parties. Sure, the road crew hung out after shows quite often, but those weren’t official hang outs really.

Chase chuckled. “Yeah, everyone’s headed over to some bar after we finish packing up the gear,” he said.

“Who’s everyone?” you asked.

“Everyone,” Chase said. He looked around and lowered his voice dramatically. “I think even Axl is gonna be there.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, thinking about whether you felt up to go out tonight. The party sounded intriguing, but you still had quite a bit of work to do before you’d be able to leave. It was rare that the members of Guns N Roses would be attending the same “party” as the rest of the crew. They were rising to fame, you were not. However, it wasn’t like you knew any of them very well, so it really didn’t matter too much that they were going to be joining everybody at the bar. Not to mention the fact that you were pretty shy and large social gatherings intimidated you greatly.

“I think I’ll probably just skip it,” you decided after thinking it through. “I’m pretty beat from the past couple of shows.” Guns N Roses had just played three nights in a row and you were tired from the constant rigging and unrigging of lights.

“Aw,” Chase said with a frown. “Well, if you change your mind, feel free to find me.” He finished packing up his box of cables and made his way down the hall, presumably to the buses outside.

You just sighed as you continued to work at dismantling some stupid light for travel.

  You found yourself meandering through the hotel after you finally finished up your work for the night. It seemed like everyone else had gone over to the bar already, so you were on your own for the night though you didn’t mind too much. You figured you’d head outside for a breath of fresh air and maybe a quick smoke before going to bed early.

As you made your way through the lobby though, you quite literally bumped into someone.

“Oh, I am so sorry,” you said, gasping as your body collided with another. You looked up and were slightly mortified to see none other than Izzy Stradlin standing in front of you.

“It’s okay,” he said, giving you an awkward smile. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“Neither was I,” you confessed, returning the smile.

You both stood there for an uncomfortable moment filled with silence.

“Um, your name’s (Y/N), right?” Izzy asked, reaching up to scratch the back of his head.

“Yeah,” you answered, surprised that he knew who you were. “And you’re Izzy,” you added, kicking yourself after saying so. Obviously, he was Izzy. He was part of Guns N Roses for fucks sake!

Izzy laughed a little at that. “Yeah. You’re not out with the rest of the crew tonight?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

“Nah,” you replied. “Not really my scene.”

“Me neither,” Izzy surprised you by saying. “I’m not a huge party kind of guy.”

“Really?” you couldn’t help but ask. You had assumed Izzy went out with the band all the time.

He shrugged. “It’s not so fun when everyone knows who you are.”

“Oh,” you answered, not really sure what to say. “Well, I’m just going out for a smoke,” you said, beginning to move past him.

“You mind if I join you?” he asked. Truth be told, he had just come back inside from a smoke outside, but you didn’t need to know that. He found you interesting and wanted to stay in your company for a little bit longer.

You surprised yourself by nodding. “Okay,” you said.

The two of you made your way outside and to the side of the hotel building. There, you stood, leaned against the brick wall. Izzy lit yours and his cigarette with his lighter and the two of you smoked together in the quiet darkness.

After some time had passed and both of your cigarettes were down to the filter, Izzy spoke again.

“This is nice,” he mumbled, stamping out the cigarette but on the pavement. “It’s nice to have some quiet, y’know?”

You nodded in agreement. “Yeah, don’t get too much of that on this tour,” you said.

“Tell me about it,” Izzy responded. “I think you and I are the only people who know how to stop talking.”

You blushed slightly at his comment. This was your first time ever talking to Izzy and he was already grouping you and him together as the quiet ones.

“Well,” you said, gathering up some courage, “if you ever need some quiet company, just come and find me.”

That’s exactly what Izzy did.

In the following weeks, you and Izzy became fast friends. He would find you during the day, setting up for the show, and promptly drag you away from your work to go grab lunch with him. After his concerts, you would rush to finish packing up so you could go back to the tour bus or the hotel and find Izzy.

You and he were often left to do your own thing. So, while the rest of the band or crew would go clubbing or bar hopping, you and Izzy would go sightseeing or out for a meal. The tour took you all across the United States and the two of you spent your shared free time exploring all the new sights and attractions each city brought.

Of course, your favorite part of all this was getting to spend time with Izzy. He was quickly becoming one of your best friends and sometimes you would even catch yourself thinking of him as something more.

The feelings were requited. Izzy felt like he had found his other half in you. Someone who was more laidback and quieter like him, but also someone he felt he could talk to for hours on end.

The North American leg of the tour was quickly drawing to an end though and both of you were nervous for what the future had in store for your relationship. While you would like nothing more than to continue travelling with Guns N Roses as part of their crew, your contract would be ending with this part of the tour. You would be headed back home to your normal life and Izzy would be going to Europe.

Being a roadie had been a bit of a last-minute decision. You’d been in need for a paycheck and a friend of yours had known a guy who was able to get you this gig. It was kind of amazing actually that you were able to be part of such a big tour, but they had been pretty desperate for another set of hands that could start right away so you were hired. In your mind, this had always been a temporary position. You always knew you would return home and work towards finding a career that was more stable and didn’t take you so far from home for so long.

Izzy knew of your plans too. You had told him weeks ago, but knowing you were going to be leaving him ahead of time did nothing to ease the pain of knowing that he would be without you once again.

So, neither of you said anything about your feelings and instead chose to pretend like the end wasn’t coming.

It was at the airport where everything finally came out.

You weren’t even needed there but Izzy had insisted you come with him for a last goodbye. During the drive over, he slipped his hand into yours and gave it a tight squeeze. No words needed to be spoken for you to understand what he was trying to say. You squeezed his hand in return and rested your head on his shoulder. Out of the corner of your eyes, you watched the world quickly pass by through the window. You found yourself wishing time would just slow down.

When you got to the airport, most of the crew was tasked with unloading all the equipment and taking it to where it needed to be checked in. You made your way inside with Izzy and the rest of the band though, your job already over.

Izzy was still holding your hand as you walked in. He slowed his pace, letting the rest of his band pass the two of you by, so you and he could have a moment alone to say your goodbyes.

“You could come with us,” Izzy proposed, knowing entirely that you would reject the idea.

“Izzy,” you sighed, tears welling up in your eyes, “My whole life is here. My family, my friends- all of that is here.” You blinked your eyes shut tightly, trying to stop the tears from falling.

Izzy reached up to gently wipe away a stray tear that had managed to cascade down your cheek. He continued to cradle your cheek after drying your face.

“I know,” he said. His voice with tight with emotion.

You forced a smile onto your face. “Guns N Roses is going places, Izzy. You’re going to be flying all around the world, touring, and recording albums, and constantly moving. We’d be living in different worlds.”

“You don’t have to explain it to me,” he said softly. “I get it. Can you just promise me one thing?”

“What’s that?” you asked.

“Promise me you’ll always remember that I love you,” he said.

You pulled him into a passionate kiss the second the words left his mouth. Waves of emotion wracked through your body as your lips met his. It would have been the perfect kiss if you hadn’t known it would be your last shared with him.

“I promise,” you whispered, pulling away from him.

Izzy just nodded, not trusting himself to say much more without breaking down. He planted a small kiss to your forehead before taking a step back from you and picking up his suitcase.

“I guess this is goodbye,” he said, his own eyes now watery.

“I guess so,” you agreed. “Goodbye Izzy.”

“Goodbye (Y/N).”

All you could do was watch as Izzy turned away from you and made his way over to the rest of the band and the crew members that would be accompanying them on the next leg of their tour. Upon his arrival, Axl threw an arm around Izzy’s shoulders and threw a glance back at you. You paid him no mind though, too focused on Izzy’s retreating figure. You stood frozen in place as you watched them make their way together over to the terminal and eventually out of sight.

When he was gone, you tentatively raised your hand to your lips, remembering how his lips had felt against yours and heartbroken that you would never know the sensation again.

[sweethq]

❝Stress and sleep deprivation have become the new normal to you, and has caused you to make a mistake that draws a wall between you and boyfriend Miya Osamu.❞

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* requested by: @avylee​ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

𑁍 Pairing: Miya Osamu x reader

»»—Trigger warning(s): hospitalization, light swearing—-««

➶ Genre: angst with a happy ending

✎ Word count: 2.87k

-ˏˋ A/N: I really hope this turned out okay?? I wanted to get this out before the weekend since I’m not going to have stable wifi, so I hope it’s not too bad! ˊˎ-

The past few weeks have been some of the most physically, emotionally, and mentally draining weeks you have ever experienced. After long days at school and tending to the boys at volleyball practice, you want nothing more than to go home, take a shower, and hop in bed. On most days, the order of events doesn’t quite happen that way. After volleyball practice you head to the convenience store located a block away from your house, picking up three hour shifts each weekday in order to save money for your future that is approaching all too soon. By the time you arrive at home, you are far too drained to put any effort into completing homework that has been assigned throughout the week, subjecting you to save it for the weekend. Your schedule is as busy as it gets, some, including you, wonder how you still manage to also have time for a relationship.

Although you don’t get to see him as often as you’d like, Osamu is the one thing that keeps you going. The thought of being able to see him every day at volleyball practice never fails to bring a smile to your face, sometimes forgetting about all of the things in your life that have been bringing you stress. Becoming the manager of the Inarizaki volleyball club was the best decision you ever made. Not only did it allow you to meet Osamu, but also all of the other boys you’ve come to love and adore. They’re your family, and getting to see them every day is the only thing that you look forward to.

You clock out of work with a sigh of relief, thankful that the week is finally coming to an end. As you walk home you purposely take a wrong turn, deciding to stop by Osamu’s so you could see him. You had to skip volleyball practice today; one of your coworkers called in sick and they desperately needed someone to cover. As much as you didn’t want to work for longer than you already had to, you felt like you couldn’t leave them stranded. You don’t want to go a day without seeing your boyfriend, desperately needing to be in his arms just to keep your sanity. Your eyelids start to feel heavy on the walk to his place, but you force yourself to keep them open as you’re only a minute away.

As you approach the door you give it an eager knock, closing your eyes while waiting for Osamu to answer. The pain and uncomfort starts to ease the longer you stare at the back of your eyelids. Your tiredness is quickly engulfing you, your body unconsciously starting to sway as you begin to fall into a deep sleep. As you are on the brink of sleep, your body rocks backwards making you lose your balance. Before you could fall, you feel Osamu’s strong arm wrap around your waist and pull you into his chest.

You’re not even fazed, unaware of how close you were almost passing out right in front of his door. You just felt happy to be back in his embrace, something that has always brought you comfort. You loop your arms around his neck and nuzzle your face into the crook of it, eyes still glued shut. As you breathe in his scent, you can’t help but notice he smells like sandalwood instead of his usual mint. You don’t mind though, intrigued by the sudden change. You pull away from him slightly, peppering a couple of small kisses along the side of his neck.

“I missed you today,” you speak in a small voice, tiredness laced through your words.

You pull him into a deeper hug, now resting your chin on his shoulder. Your eyes open for the first time since you got there and are met with the gaze of Osamu standing in the doorway a few feet away. A smile creeps onto your face, never getting tired of the sight of him. A small sigh leaves your lips as you squeeze him into the hug a little tighter. Then it hits you.

Osamu is standing in front of you. He is not in your arms. He is not the one you are hugging.

Horror flashes in your eyes. You slowly turn your head to the side, eyes landing on brown roots that fade into golden locks.

Oh no.

You loosen your hold and take a couple of steps back. Atsumu is staring at you with wide eyes, not daring to move a muscle.

You glance behind him, eyes falling on your boyfriend whose demeanor holds so many different emotions. He turns away from the two of you and walks further into the house, entering his bedroom before slamming the door.

“Shit,” you mutter quietly while pushing past Atsumu, making your way to Osamu’s bedroom door which is now tightly shut and locked. You give the door a couple of gentle knocks, silently hoping that your actions didn’t cause too much of a problem. It was silent on the other side of the door, no indication that he was going to walk over and unlock it.

“Babe, please let me in,” you start, hands growing sweaty, “it’s all just a misunderstanding.” Silence.

“Osamu, don’t be like this. It was an accident. Let’s just forget it happened and move on, yeah?” The worry and anxiousness keeps building inside the longer he stays silent. Suddenly, you hear footsteps approaching the door before it swings open. You start to smile but it’s immediately wiped away when you see the anger presented on Osamu’s face.

“‘Don’t be like this’? Do you think I’m overreacting because I just saw you hug and kiss my brother?”

“I didn’t kiss him on the lips, it was just… on his neck.” You soon realized that your words are not helping you, but in fact making it worse. “Babe, I’m sorry. It was an accident, I swear! I just have so much going on and I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep and-”

“I really don’t want to hear your excuses,” Osamu stated, cutting you off mid-sentence.

“I’m not making excuses, I’m trying to give you an explanation.”

“Yeah, well I have a lot going on too, Y/N. I don’t get that much sleep either but you don’t see me going around and kissing other people because I mistook them for you,” he started, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Do you know how hard it is for me? I’ve lived my entire life standing in Atsumu’s shadow. Everything he did, he always did it better. He was always the one to get recognition for everything. I worked my ass off in both my academics and volleyball just to try and prove to, not only other people, but also myself that I am just as deserving as he is. The only thing that I have that Atsumu doesn’t is you. And now I’m not so sure that’s the case anymore.”

You could feel your heart shatter from his words. Not only was he sharing something that made him feel the most vulnerable, but he was starting to doubt if you still wanted to be with him. You take a step closer to him and reach to caress his face, slowly rubbing your thumb over his cheekbone.

“What are you talking about? Of course you have me, you’ve always had me. What you saw out there was a complete accident. I was just so tired that I didn’t even realize it wasn’t you. I’m really sorry, I promise it’ll never happen again.”

He stares deeply into your eyes, he can tell that your words are genuine, but something stops him from forgiving you.

He puts his hand over yours and removes it from his face.

“I just need some space. I think you should go,” he says while releasing his grip from your own. As he was closing the door he mumbled, “Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe,” before shutting the door and locking it once more.

You stare at the door before squatting down, holding your face in your hands. Please don’t tell me I just messed up the one good thing I have in my life.

The walk home felt long, and the rest of the night felt even longer. You had been eager to start the weekend, but now you couldn’t wait for it to be over. You have too much time alone, too much time with just you and your thoughts. You couldn’t even bother to do the homework that you had saved over the week. All you could think about was your fight with Osamu and how he hasn’t even tried to reach out to you since then.

The amount of sleep you got over your two days off was miniscule, even less than you got throughout the week. The nights were filled with mindless thinking and many many tears. You spent so much time thinking about Osamu that you didn’t even remember to eat your usual three meals a day.

The weekend came and went without a word spoken between the two of you. You’re now dreading going to volleyball practice, somewhere that always brought you so much joy. You don’t know how to face him, worried he’s just as upset as he was before.

You stand outside the gym doors, contemplating what you next move would be. Should I try and talk to him? Should I continue to give him space? Should I pretend like nothing happened? Ideas kept flowing through your head, none of them jumping out at you as the correct choice. You decide that it’s best to go in there and assess the environment first. Hopefully that will give you a little insight on what to do.

You grab the two carriers that held the boys’ full water bottles, barely managing to carry all the weight in your small hands. You start you way up the few stairs that lead to the gym, each step taking more and more energy out of you. You reach the last step with a sigh of relief, walking through the open doors and into the view of your boyfriend and the rest of the boys.

“Hey Y/N!” Aran smiles, everyone’s eyes turning towards you. The rest of the team greets you as you enter, with the exception of Osamu.

As you are about to greet them back, you start to feel uncontrollably dizzy. White stars begin to scatter your view as your vision begins to blur. You start to stumble over your feet, eventually tripping and collapsing onto the wood floor, landing almost fully on your shoulder. You hear sets of footsteps running towards you, but you can’t tell where they’re coming from. You see blurry figures hovering over you, one of them reaching out to hold your face in his palms. You can’t visually make out who he is, but you know it’s Osamu. They’re shouting at you, but all you hear is quiet mumbling that sounds like it's coming from the other side of the room. You try to muster the strength to say something, but your eyes flutter shut before you get the chance.

The next time you open your eyes you’re greeted with a heavy pain in your left shoulder and a light that is far too bright. You come to the conclusion that you’re in a hospital, but the events that led up to it are a little blurry.

You feel a warmth in your hand. You glance over to see Osamu sitting in a chair beside your bed, his hand in yours and the other being used to rest his head on, his elbow pressing into his knee for support. A mixture of guilt and comfort engulfed your emotions at the sight. You felt terrible that he was in this situation because of you; you wish he would’ve slept at home in his bed instead of in a sitting position in the most uncomfortable chair. Regardless, you couldn’t help but feel happy knowing that he stayed by your side throughout the night so you weren’t alone.

You reach out to him with your spare hand, brushing the gray strands of hair out of his face. Osamu wakes from his slumber at the feel of your finger grazing against his forehead, the tiredness in his eyes not dissipating. Once he sees that you’re awake, all the tiredness that he felt was suddenly gone. He hurriedly stands and takes a seat on the side of your hospital bed, making sure not to sit on you.

“Hey, baby. How you feeling?” You can sense the concern in his tone, his thumb mindlessly rubbing against the back of your hand.

“My shoulder hurts,” you reply with a small chuckle, “but other than that, I feel fine. I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed. This bed sucks ass.” Osamu laughs along with you, glad that you seem to be feeling a lot better than you were before.

“I’ll go get the doctor and see if we can leave.”

The process to leave the hospital took unnecessarily long. They kept handing you papers to sign and telling you to make sure you drink enough water and to not skip meals; two things you definitely didn’t do throughout the past few days. You’re just glad it’s over and that you’re on your way home with the person you care for the most.

When you and Osamu enter your house, he heads straight for the kitchen knowing that you’re probably in need for some food. He opens the fridge to see what he’s working with and notices that you have all of the ingredients to make your favorite dish. He quickly gets to work, hoping that the prep and cooking time wouldn’t take too long.

“Samu, you don’t have to make me anything. I know you must be tired from staying in the hospital overnight with me.”

“No, I want to. It's the least I can do since you were in that state because of me…” You frown when you hear those words escape his lips, not wanting him to feel guilty. You stand up from your seated position at the dining table and make your way towards him. You snake your arms around his waist and hold him against you, the side of your face pressing against his muscular back.

“Don’t say that, it’s not your fault. I was already going through a lot with school and work and volleyball that I just forgot to take care of myself. Please don’t blame yourself.”

Osamu turns to face you, your arms still tightly locked around his waist. He holds your face in both of his hands and looks at you with nothing but love and passion in his eyes, scanning all of your features. After being together for so long, he’s learned to memorize every part of your face: the way your eyes crinkle slightly when you smile, how your nose moves when you speak, how you slightly pout your lips when you’re frustrated. He retains all of these little quirks that you have, all the things that make him fall more and more in love with you. All he can think about is how incredibly happy he is that he has you, and relieved that his little episode didn’t break the two of you apart.

He pulls your head into his chest, one of his arms holding your upper back while the other is holding the nape of your neck.

“I’m sorry about our fight the other day. I know what you did wasn’t intentional, I shouldn’t have gotten so worked up about it. I’ll try harder so we never fight like that again, I really hate to see you sad, especially if it’s because of me.” He slightly pulls away from the hug so he can press a small kiss on your temple before bringing you back into the hug. “I love you, Y/N. No matter what problems we face, I’ll always love you.” He can feel your smile grow against his chest.

“Samu, that was so romantic. Since when did you get all soft?” You chuckle, pulling away from him. Your smile widens at the sight of your boyfriend in front of you. A pink hue dusts his cheeks and the tips of his ears, his flustered expression enough to make your stomach do flips.

“Whatever… Go sit down over there, you’re distracting me.” He replies while releasing his grip on you, turning back around to face the ingredients on the counter. As he tries to get back to preparing the food, he can still feel your presence behind him. He turns his head to face you, “I said to go sit-”

You grab his face with both hands and bring his lips to meet yours, cutting him off mid-sentence. You can feel him smile into the kiss which makes you return the gesture. The both of you pull away at the same time, placing a couple of more pecks onto his lips before resting your foreheads together.

“I love you too, Samu. I will until the day I die.”

───

[taglist] @avylee @thathoneybee3

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[painfulbass]

☾ ˚⊹  ❛❛  GENERAL QUICK CROSSOVER GUIDE

So crossovers are usually difficult for a lot of people. So, because I tend to think about these things, I thought I would make this comprehensive list/guide to writing crossovers with me. This isn’t anything in concrete, but to get the ball rolling or to help make it easier for both sides to contribute to plotting. It can be hard when you don’t know the fandom.

FNF, or Friday Night Funkin’ is a rhythm based game around rap battles. The Protagonist (known as BF) is trying to prove himself and win over his Girlfriend’s (GF) Dad, and it spirals from there. Gameplay style, it is very similar to Dance Dance Revolution, and the music is a fast pasted dubstyle/chiptune soundtrack.

What a lot of people know FNF for, however is the Mods. Due to it being on Newgrounds, and the creators having it be open asset, many creators are able to make their own “weeks” for players to challenge their skills in. Ruv, and those within Mid Fight Masses, are one of those mods. You can find most of their lore scattered in the scenes of their week, or by going on their official FNF Wiki.

Now, what does this mean for crossovers? I put it under a read more, simply because this is going to be a lot. I’m going to explain crossover verses I have. How I make them, and how YOU could have your character be in the FNF verse quite easily. So go under the read more to continue reading.

☾ ˚⊹  ❛❛  RUV IN OTHER UNIVERSES

Here are some just ideas that I came up with. While not EVERY interaction will work with these, they are ideas. They’re meant to kick start ideas and inspirations. I do not consider these full verses until I’ve talked with the other mun to make sure that they are okay with it. These can easily be changed, and swapped out for different things. My main goal here is to try and keep Ruv down to his core elements while fitting into a new setting.

POKEMON- Ruv, along with Sarv run the church- which she has turned into a sanctuary and a Nursery. Much like in Canon, Sarv is supernatural, and Ruv as a run away criminal vowed his life for all eternity to protect her. With church’s going out however, the next next step would be a PokeNursery.           Ruv acts as protector of the Nursery from trainers and groups alike. He usually is seen sitting on the roof, throwing pebbles at kids or passerby’s who irk him in some way. You can always find his Onix, his Low-Key Toxtricity, and his Absol around him or the nursery at all times. He does still have his strength, speed, and other abilities. The “face” he has is also a mask- an attempt to hide his identity as the wanted criminal.

OWL HOUSE- Ruv was a wanted criminal for the longest time. His magic, due to where he was born was a lot less like those around him. He could fit into the covens, but anything he did reflected back on him. Living alone, and learning to just modify himself he became a wanted criminal with a bone breaking shout.            However all of those times soon came to a stop as he met the winged mistress he stays with now. Protecting her (though she is much more than capable of protecting himself) she runs one of the many sects in the area. It isn’t the best building, but it’s out of the way and he usually isn’t spotted. However, unfortunately his past comes back to haunt him. He has no choice, and begrudgingly assists the Guards to repay for his crimes.           Tied to Sarv through magical bonds, he has made it clear to those in charge and to her- should something come between his duty as a guard or her, he would chose her a million times over.

DUCKTALES- Ruv is the petrified remains of the guardian of St. Sarvente. Awoken as the earth was shifted off of it’s orbit and forced into something it’s not, the callous guard is in search of the one he calls Sarvente, whom he claims is the Ruler of Souls and the one he Vowed to Protect. He is, 100% made of stone.

TOONTOWN- Stickfigures aren’t uncommon drawings. One’s as complicated as he and Sarv though usually get a few eyes. Not only that, but video game characters are always treated differently in Toontown. Maybe it’s because of a developers history, or lack there of. The story of Ruvyzvat being a heartless killer however spreads like wild flower, and while he and Sarv will primarily stay at the church... sometimes curiosity becomes too much.

KINGDOM HEARTS- FNF is it’s own world. Keyblade turned into a microphone, Ruv & Sarv are some of the first that would be met. Despite their challenge, they are rather distanced from the troubles of the Darkness and Light and would be semi-good companions. 

THE BLACKOUT CLUB- Ruv is a 16. Any day will be the day that a voice will end up taking over, merging with his mind. That’s fine. Much like how Seed-The-Grudge would want, he’ll just get revenge.

HAZBIN HOTEL / HELLUVA BOSS- Ruv ironically enough is one of the few in Hell who does not make him dead. In fact, in some cases that can make him extremely rare. This crossover he IS able to accompany Sarvente into the Underworld, and follow her on her treks through it. While most assume he is a dead sinner, he usually just doesn’t answer. However something about being here and meeting those who reside within the land sets him off. He’s a tad more feral, and a tad more willing to go to the violent answer.

PORTAL- Violence core. What else is there to say? Alternatively, him being a test subject would be fascinating, especially if he was grabbed post-vow. The man is immortal, and therefore would have messed with the tests just by the fact that there is only way for him to die. Death isn’t the worst thing to happen to a man however, and he does still feel pain.

RWBY- Ruv has the ability to manipulate sound waves, specifically his own). Trained with great strength and and even greater speed, his form of combat is continuously dodging as he looks for a weak spot. Weapons of choice are shot gun snow boots, and his sickle that doubles as a short sword.

DOCTOR WHO- Sarv has the ability to create portals. While they are MEANT to be used to intergalactive travel, but instead parallel world travel that in of itself is monumental for a lot of DW plots. Ruv and Sarv can easily go from one universe to the next, however chose to stay in the church. Not to mention Ruv’s skills in target elimination and his abilities would make for some individuals to repurpose him into a weapon. While they have been approached by UNIT on several occasions, they always refuse. However, enough time has passed that they’re starting to notice that the couple in the church aren’t aging...

FNAF- RUVYZVAT and SARVENTE were creations of Fazbear Entertainments as karaoke machines... if we want to go the robot route. If we want to go the normal person route, Ruv was hired by Fazbear’s because it’s one of the few places that doesn’t do a background check, and when he said he wanted to wear a mask as part of the work outfit they were all for it. He runs the karaoke machine though. Stays away from quite literally everyone. While he isn’t the infamous killer of children here, he does have a reputation of his own that he is running from, and that does tend to make him silent.

BATIM- Criminal on the run stumbles into the wastelands formerly known as Bendy’s. Actually enjoys it at first because the cartoon was popular when he was a child. ALT. Stickman drawing of one of the artists come to life. Usually pretends to be Lost One, but when he’s alone with another (Sarvente) they turn into their stickman version selves. Has the ability to jump between 2 and 3 dimensions, but none of the strength or voice.

PSYCHONAUTS- Agent Ruvyzvat, Russian sector. Ruv is working for the Psychonauts in some weird, turning event. Mainly because the sole woman that he trusts and saved his life, Agent Sarvente brought him in. The two are inseparable, and despite Sasha and Nein being infamous for their clinginess, these two take it to a whole knew level. Ruve’s “loud voice” is actually a psychic ability he can use outside of the mind to jumble and confuse thoughts and has no damage on anything physically in the present.

GRAVITY FALLS- Sarvente is a Demon, much like Bill. Where sa Bill desires nothing but chaos and madness, Sarvente is trying her best to keep the world like it is and preserve it’s beauty. Seeing such beauty in a runaway criminal, she and he run to the forests of Oregon. Throughout Weirdmageddon, neither managed to be captured or turned to stone, however Ruv seemingly gained his incredible voice abilities. Now, they live in a semi-collapsed church out in the forest. Sarvente always asking those who come her way to join their church, Ruv is suspicious why such events would happen in such a small town, and is distrusting of most everyone he sees.

DETECTIVE CONAN / KAITOU KID / ANY ANIME OR SERIES LIKE THAT- VERY infamous criminal. Take his “Wanted Dead or Alive” that exists in all other verses, and ramp that up quite a bit. Usually wears a mask whenever he is committing a crime. He does seem to be in it for the fun, though it’s hard to tell with the stoic and expressionless looks. That being said, he does seem to have a very clear goal of what he wants. There are no patterns to where he hits, or what he takes. From wallets of people off the streets, to priceless artifacts. He’ll find where Sarvente went, and how they were able to change her mind in such a way.... how they could corrupt her.

MODERN / NON-EXTREMELY FANTASTICAL- Ruv is honestly a rather down to Earth individual, in some terms. He is untrusting of EVERYTHING, but also due to his own strengths finds little that fear or challenges him. Keep him mind he did make a deal with Lucifer (or his Lucifer) for Immortality for protecting her. While he will always be doing things on his own, a lot of his end goals and motives will come back to her. Without her involvement, he is a walking, talking, machine of destruction with no sway on which side he decides to tear apart.

☾ ˚⊹  ❛❛  GENERAL STOPPING POINTS FOR WANTING TO PLOT

DON’T KNOW THE WORLD YOU’RE FROM / YOU DON’T KNOW MY LORE. - That’s fine. I can get my hands dirty. I can research. In fact I usually would love nothing more to. I love learning about new fandoms, or new media to get into. You shouldn’t be afraid of that. As for mine- It should take someone less than an hour to get through all of the links I have posted in the RESOURCES tab in my bio. I’ve timed it. So if you have an hour to spare, or 15, or just enough time to read his wiki that’s fine. He’s not from a long running show, or anything like that. You can catch up extremely quick.

WELL WHAT ABOUT A BOOK/COMIC? HOW WOULD HE FIT IN?- If we are talking about Super Hero comics, then it depends. 90% of the time I will just play up his wanted status a lot more, and make it more of a reason for an interaction. You just ran into a man who has killed hundreds. If your muse is a super hero, or a vigilante? Would you let him go? What a villain? That might make a good partner.

TV SHOW? LIVE ACTION?- Again, it depends on the type of show. Superhero follows the same above. If it’s investigative, have him be a witness. Or a falsely accused man who can prove he isn’t the guilty party. Is it more supernatural- well he did make a deal with Lucifer and is an immortal now from it. There are a million ways to spin it. Don’t look at making him a big character. Quite honestly, side characters that you pass in the street have just as much backstory, and as long as there is a plausible chance of interactions then we can work it out from there.

☾ ˚⊹  ❛❛  GENERAL IDEAS TO BE AWARE OF THAT MIGHT HELP

HE IS A WANTED CRIMINAL.- Meaning his name Ruvyzvat is known. Despite his crimes going on for decades, he is on the run and never stopped. Several city, state, countries, and possibly nations are looking for him, and looking to take him in.

HE IS ALSO AN IMMORTAL.- While he hasn’t been around forever, and nearly not as long as Sarvente has been, he HAS been around for at least 100 years, give or take some. He can be injured, but even fatal injuries heal in an almost Deadpool like way.

HE ALSO HAS SUPERNATURAL POWERS.- His speed and reflexes alone is not something to be taken lightly. He does train and fight with Lucifer on what used to be a semi-regular basis. He has moved and adapted to be able to make sure no one but the singular person he trusts is able to lay a hand on him. That isn’t to say you can’t catch him off guard. You also have his inhuman strength to worry about, but most of all his voice. His voice which could completely demolish a building, and that isn’t the full strength. He has an amazing control over it, but that certainly isn’t a trait of his to ignore.

HE IS NOT ALWAYS IN THE CHURCH. I MADE SURE OF THAT WHEN I MADE MY BLOG.- He goes on walks, and he goes on errands. He also goes to the Gym on occasion, though not as often. He enjoys walks on the beach far earlier than anyone should be awake at. What I’m saying is running into him OUTSIDE of the church is possible. That being said, meeting him IN the church is your best bet for him warming up quicker. He feels safer in the church, and therefore usually wishes to stay there.

DOESN’T FIT THE STYLE OF CHARACTERS/WORLD? - If he doesn’t fit, then I can work to adapt him into something that WOULD fit. What characteristics about him doesn’t work. This is when I would need plotting help. If, lets say it was an all animal world, we can talk about what he is, his traits, and other such things. I am always happy to not use my icons- I just like to because I think they’re neat and I worked hard on them.

WHAT WOULD HE BE DOING?- Any number of things. He likes throwing pebbles at people. He mainly guards and protects Sarvente and her things, but I know we’re talking besides this. He cannot cook, but he does actually sew, and he does read quite a bit. Working on his fist to fist fighting would be a big one. He likes secluded areas, which especially work for explorer’s and people who walk off the beaten path.

IS THERE ANYWHERE HE COULDN’T BE?- He wouldn’t be at a bar. Ruv doesn’t drink, at all. I also don’t see him at any parties unless Sarv dragged him to them. Writing starters or plotting around those are perfectly fine, but do not expect his muse to be comfortable while he’s there.

HE SEEMS OVERPOWERED.- At times, he certainly can be, but only when he feels it’s necessary. He doesn’t flaunt his abilities, and most he has are out of self preservation. If you as a mun are worried about him and what he can do, the best thing you can do is read my information, look into his wiki, and then come and talk to me. Ruv isn’t someone who will 100% abuse what abilities he has, especially since now he is trying his best to be better for her since it makes her happy.

☾ ˚⊹  ❛❛  GENERAL IDEAS TO HAVE YOUR CHARACTERS IN HIS UNIVERSE

LOCATIONS?- The Church, the back alleys, the karaoke bar (that primarily does rap battles), the Alternate dimension that Sarv made so that he can be loud and not retrain his voice.

MOTIVATIONS?- If your muse is in the FNF world, then be ready for some sick beats to be dropped. Your muse could be rescuing someone from the BBEG and going through the slew of minions to sing against. There’s always the alternative side of this of “what the hell is going on?”

MY CHARACTER ISN’T FROM THERE, SO THEY WOULDN’T FIT IN.- Well I do have a “main” verse which replaces raps with fists. Looking for someone important to them, in the search of a deep and hidden artifact within the search, the rumors of a man born 100 years ago- theres a lot to be found in the library if you looked.

WHAT DOES THE FNF WORLD CONSIST OF?- It consists of Demon Daddies, Singing Skeletons and Pumpkins, Tankmen, a Demonic Lemon Demon, Sentient Video Game Characters, and if you take the mods in you also have Demon, Angels, Ghosts, Deadly Ex’s, Bomb Headed Men-- I promise your character will fit in at the end of the day.

ISN’T HE EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE AND HARD TO TALK TO?- He can be. He talks in very short sentences, however I do my best to give my reply enough that you can reply to. Actions, and I chose to be very descriptive with his expressions in this case. Ruv spend many years alone, and sometimes with him, actions speak louder than words. When you or your muse figure that out is up to you.

WELL WE CAN’T DO AN ENTIRE THREAD IN A CHURCH.- I never said we had to. He is more than happy to leave the church should he want, and should there be a reason. Usually, (despite what it seems) he does like helping people, so you can lure him out that way ;)

[gb-fics]

Dressed in Confidence

Fanfiction:

Kiryuuin Shou x Kyan Yutaka (Golden Bomber)

Note: So, you might have seen the self-cover Shou shared yesterday and it inspired me to write a fic right away. For the context: The character originally performing the song has a magic suit that makes him confident and popular with women. Please, don’t question how it works, we’ll just pretend a suit can magically change Shou’s appearance and personality in this fic ^-^ Also, if you haven’t seen the video, please check it out, because he is gorgeous in it and maybe it will make the story seem a little less random ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgzL_Ccmr1Y

„Just go over and talk to her already”, Yutaka urged quietly.

He didn’t know whom of the girls Shou had set his eyes on, but the glances he kept sneaking at the group of women opposite to their booth at the bar were more than obvious. Yutaka had waited to speak up until Jun and Kenji had went over to the counter to secure new drinks for themselves though. Shou was naturally self-conscious and Yutaka hadn’t meant to make him uncomfortable in front of the others. But his silent longing was becoming hard to bear.

“I can’t just do that”, Shou protested. Obviously, he knew what Yutaka was talking about immediately. He didn’t even seem surprised that Yutaka had noticed. “I’m not some kind of gigolo.”

Yutaka frowned. Although he was pretty good at seeing Shou through, he sometimes didn’t understand his reasoning anyway.

“Chatting up girls in bars and being a gigolo are two totally different things.”

Next to him Shou squirmed on the bench seat.

“I just don’t have that kind of confidence”, he whined.

“You are handsome, famous and you have money. Women have every reason to be interested in you. So, pull yourself together.”

Yutaka had lost count of how often he had given Shou similar pep talks already.

“I’m not”, Shou said right away. He cleared his throat. “I mean, I’m famous. And I do have money. But I’m not handsome.”

It was difficult to come up with the right reply to that. Yutaka never found the right words to talk about Shou’s looks.

“You should let them decide for themselves”, he pointed out.

Shou shifted his weight again. He reached down to check for the bag he kept on the floor between his legs. He had kept checking for it all evening, as if he was scared it might suddenly disappear.

“Please, if I go over there, I won’t even be able to look them in the eyes.” Shou winced.

Yutaka hoped that Jun and Kenji would hurry. The conversation was starting to make him uneasy. He didn’t know how to cheer Shou up without praising him, and he didn’t know how to praise him without making him uncomfortable. Being Shou’s friend could be difficult.

“What’s in the bag anyway?”, he changed the topic. Not the best solution, but at least a way to distract Shou from his self-pity.

“Ah, I wrote Party wo Tomenaide for that franchise, remember? They’re currently working on this magic suit and they gave me a prototype when I recorded the video for the self-cover. It’s supposed to make you cool and confident and popular with women.”

“And you brought it to the bar?” Yutaka hadn’t meant to let disdain sneak into his voice, but Shou pulled up his shoulders instinctively as if he wanted to shield himself from potential judgement.

“Just in case”, he said defensively. “We sometimes end up talking to women, when we’re in a group and I thought it might be a good chance to try it out. See if it even works. In case there is ever something I’ll need a lot of confidence for.”

Yutaka felt soothed to think Shou had only eyed the women as test objects to sate his curiosity about the suit and that he had not fallen in love from across the room. His tendencies in that regard were sometimes worrisome.

“Well then, give it a try”, he suggested. He had heard about the suit but hadn’t known Shou actually owned a prototype. He was curious, if it would work. Shou’s confidence could surely use an occasional boost and it would be great to no longer be the one responsible for it.

“If you insist”, Shou mumbled, but he was already fumbling with his bag. It was obvious he had only waited for some sort of permission.

He pulled out a suit coat and inhaled soundly before he got up. For a moment, he just stood there with the piece of clothing in his hands indecisively. Then he slipped it on in a surprisingly smooth motion.

All Yutaka did was blink and the next second, a completely changed person stood in front of him. Shou’s traditional Tamiya shirt had miraculously transformed into a silky, black suit. It even came with matching dress shoes. But it wasn’t just that. His hair had changed, too. It was styled in perfect shape and showed green streaks that made his look seem edgy and interesting. He was even wearing makeup that differed his usual style. A bright yellow flower stuck in his buttonhole.

Shou had transformed into someone so conventionally attractive, he might indeed start working at a host club.

Absent-mindedly he straightened his suit coat and turned towards the group of women.

He looked dazzling, but almost like a stranger.

Yutaka was surprised that he hesitated for so long before approaching the women anyway. He followed him with his eyes, curious how this would turn out.

Shou’s posture seemed straighter than usually as he walked through the room, yet he still managed to look awkward. He looked like a person who was arguing with himself about every step.

Finally, he stopped right behind a cute girl with bangs. Yutaka should have been able to guess it was her whom Shou had been watching. He would have chatted up her more light-haired friend, but when it came to Shou, she was just his type.

The girl didn’t notice him, though.

Shou just stood for a moment, although her friends had already noticed him. Seemingly, Shou had no idea how to draw attention to himself. He hesitated for far too long, before he reached out and tapped the girl on the shoulder. She flinched, which caused Shou to jolt in return and the whole situation was so awkward to watch, that Yutaka winced under his breath. The good looks and the confidence to approach women had done nothing for Shou’s coolness.

The girl turned around and even from across the room, Yutaka could tell that she seemed startled at Shou’s appearance. Her expression wasn’t annoyed but spoke of pleasant surprise. If a girl looked at you like that at first sight, it was very difficult to blow it.

Even from across the room Yutaka could tell that Shou would blow it.

Instead of looking at the girl while talking, he kept his eyes on the ground and his posture shifted, making it seem as if he wanted to curl back up into himself. He looked exactly as miserable and self-conscious talking to women as he had as a teenager. Everything about his body language radiated insecurity.

Yutaka sighed.

The woman shook her head. Instead of taking it with dignity, Shou managed to look even more miserable. Knowing him, Yutaka assumed he was probably blushing. He still didn’t make eye-contact.

After a very painful minute, Shou turned around and shuffled back to their table. He no longer seemed confident at all. His outward handsomeness remained, but it didn’t match with the way he carried himself at all.

“Sorry”, Yutaka said. “At least now you know.”

Shou sat down on the bench next to him again. Yutaka noticed that he wasn’t slumping down as usual, though, but sat surprisingly straight. It made him look taller and more self-assured.

“Too bad the suit is not working.”

“Oh, I don’t mind”, Shou said and turned towards him. His voice wasn’t as quiet and gloomy as Yutaka had expected. He spoke smugly. “I’d rather spend my time with you anyway.”

Yutaka eyed him suspiciously. The makeup suited him; his features looked more contoured and his skin smooth. His lips were always wide, but tonight they glistened invitingly. It was still Shou’s face, but the makeup brought out all its good qualities more strongly.

“What?”, he asked.

“Why would I waste my time with these women, when I can spend the night with a pretty guy like you?”, Shou asked. He was meeting Yutaka’s eyes head on. That was rare for him already, but tonight his gaze was challenging rather than stubborn.

Yutaka was so irritated by his unnaturally confident tone, that it took him a moment to realize what was going on.

“Oh, ha ha, very funny”, he said dryly.

“I mean it”, Shou insisted and placed his hand on Yutaka’s shoulder. He often did that, especially when he got tipsy and he had already had a couple of beers tonight, though by no means enough to justify him acting so out of character. His touch right now felt different, however. He wasn’t just seeking out body contact, he was using the gesture as an excuse to lean in, bringing them closer together. Suddenly, Yutaka was very aware of how close Shou was sitting.

“Let me buy you a drink”, he said, before turning around. Shou usually hated calling over the waiter and when they went to a restaurant together, he normally left it to the others. He was too shy and polite to raise his voice at strangers.

Now, he raised his arm and called out loudly: “Excuse me?” to make the young waitress turn around. “A bottle of champagne, please. Your most expensive one.”

The waitress nodded and headed off.

Shou turned back to Yutaka.

“Champagne? The expensive one? What’s gotten into you?”, Yutaka asked, still irritated. Before this, he could have written it off as a joke, but Shou would never waste money just to prank him. “You never order anything high-end.”

He still felt like he was talking to a stranger.

“Nothing but the best for my kitten”, Shou said.

Yutaka chocked.

“What?! What did you just call me?”

“Kitten”, Shou repeated. He sounded hoarse. His eyes trailed down Yutaka’s body and he didn’t try to hide the fact that he was shamelessly checking him out. It made Yutaka feel unexpectedly hot.

“Unless you prefer another pet name?”

And then Shou smiled.

It wasn’t a smug, cocky smile. His smile was warm and genuine and it looked just a little bit insecure as if he worried that he had crossed a line. It made Shou look shy and kind and charming. His teeth weren’t showing, but his lips seemed even wider and absolutely gorgeous and the small dimple on his left cheek didn’t seem as misplaced as usual, but it fit in perfectly with his handsome face. The smile turned him from a stranger into nothing but Shou, but the best version of Shou that he could possibly be. It was Shou the way he would look if he were no longer worried and self-deprecating; still shy but no longer scared.

Yutaka’s knees grew weak. But it wasn’t just his knees. It was his shoulders that suddenly held no tension anymore and his arms, that turned into butter and his whole body felt like it might just melt away when Shou smiled at him like this and called him cute names.

“Uhm”, he said.

“Your champagne”, the waitress interrupted them and Yutaka turned hastily, glad for the interruption that allowed him to clear his head. Something about this suit seemed to be working at least.

The waitress placed a bucket filled with ice on the table, that held a bottle of champagne. Steam was rising from the bottleneck, indicating that it had just been opened. Yutaka hadn’t expected it to be done for them already, but it was probably better that way. They would surely have created a mess otherwise.

The bottle came with four glasses and only their sight made Yutaka realize he had completely forgotten about Jun and Kenji. He wondered what was taking them so long.

“Let me get that for you”, Shou offered, although Yutaka hadn’t moved to fix himself a glass at all.

Shou placed his fingers on Yutaka’s wrist as if he wanted to physically stop him from helping himself. Once again, the gesture wasn’t untypical for Shou. He often touched people while talking to them, but this time, it had a different quality. Usually, his touches were distracted as if he didn’t really notice what his body was doing at all. But right now, he looked down on his hand resting on Yutaka’s bare wrist, and then he looked up, meeting his eyes, as if he wanted to make absolutely sure, that Yutaka became aware of the contact. His touch was fully intentional this time and Yutaka sensed heat creeping up his neck.

The touch lasted just long enough to not feel accidental, then Shou pulled back and reached for the bottle of champagne instead. He closed his long, slender fingers around the bottleneck firmly and took up a glass. His movements were secure and controlled. Yutaka had always admired Shou’s hands, that seemed too elegant and coordinated for someone who moved the way he did. But when it came to his hands, Shou always seemed to know what he was doing.

He poured a glass of champagne without spilling a drop and held it out to Yutaka.

Yutaka thought that with all the things that had changed, Shou’s hands had stayed exactly the same.

He took the glass and Shou held his gaze for a moment. It was Yutaka, who looked away first. Shou was wearing coloured lenses and his eyes were bright and intriguing. He didn’t seem in a hurry as he poured himself a glass as well.

Yutaka watched his movements closely. He could still recognize Shou’s way of moving, but he seemed less stressed and therefore less awkward. The only real difference seemed to be, that he was relaxed for a change and Yutaka wondered, if Shou would always look this sexy, if only he managed to put him at ease more.

Shou placed the bottle back into the bucket and held up his glass to Yutaka while meeting his eyes again.

“To a night full of fun”, he said. He said it like he was thinking of something dirty.

“To a fun night”, Yutaka agreed and clinked his glass to Shou’s. He did his best to make it sound less suggestive.

He emptied half of the glass in large gulps. The champagne made him feel bubbly inside, but he doubted it was because of the alcohol. This version of Shou made him nervous.

“Tastes expensive”, he observed lamely, although he couldn’t tell one champagne from the other.

Shou smiled again and once more, Yutaka thought that his lips looked stunning tonight.

“Oh, you guys ordered champagne!”, Kenji’s voice chimed in unexpectedly.

“When did you change, Shou? Is that the magic suit?”, Jun asked and pulled up his chair to sit down opposite to them.

Although Yutaka had hoped to be rescued from this weird tension, he still felt mad at them for interrupting.

Kenji placed himself on the bench next to Shou.

“He brought the suit to the bar to pick up girls, but it doesn’t work”, Yutaka declared maliciously. He was no longer sure if he was annoyed with Jun and Kenji for showing up, or for staying away for so long, or with Shou for acting so weird in the first place.

Shou patted the bench next to himself.

“Here, Kenji, come closer”, he said.

Kenji shuffled closer.

“Why?”, he asked. It was very much like Kenji to comply first and ask questions later.

Shou raised his hand and ran his forefinger across Kenji’s sharp jawline.

“So I can get a better look at your handsome face.”

Something inside of Yutaka constricted uncomfortably. He didn’t know why he felt so upset, but he couldn’t deny that he felt jealous of Kenji. Since the suit hadn’t worked on the girls, he had assumed it was only him having this effect on Shou.

“Oh god, what’s up with you?”, Jun asked, sounding seriously worried.

Kenji gave an embarrassed sound, but started pouring champagne for him and Jun as well without waiting for an invitation.

“The suit is turning him gay”, Yutaka explained nonchalantly and emptied his own glass.

“What’s turning me gay is sitting here with such cute guys”, Shou said lightly. He didn’t sound embarrassed at all. Rather than joking, he seemed flirting.

“That’s disturbing”, Jun said somewhat too loudly. “Someone get him out of this suit!”

Shou batted his eyelashes before looking right at Jun at the other side of the table.

“Please, Jun”, he said. “If you want to undress me, all you have to do is ask.”

Jun made a startled noise that turned into a mixture between a nervous laugh and a cough.

Yutaka placed his glass on the table too soundly.

Shou turned towards him. He leaned in closely.

“Don’t be jealous, kitten”, he said lowly. “I haven’t forgotten about you.”

Yutaka wondered how Shou had noticed his feelings without even looking at him, when Yutaka had troubles naming them himself. He felt oddly happy when he heard the pet name again. Shou hadn’t used it for Jun and Kenji. Maybe that meant something.

“I’m not jealous”, he lied and reached for the bottle of champagne. “I just need more alcohol, if you’re going to stay like this.”

He poured himself the rest of the champagne until his glass was so full, it nearly overflowed, before he put the empty bottle back onto the table.

Shou pulled the flower from his buttonhole. Up close, Yutaka could tell that it was a yellow rose.

“Here”, Shou said. When his voice was so low and deep, Yutaka’s body turned into butter again. He wondered, if Shou had the same effect on Jun and Kenji while wearing the suit.

“What are you doing? Get that thing out of my face!”

“Take it”, Shou insisted. “This one is only for you. To remind you, that you’re special to me.”

Yutaka hesitated. He wished Shou would sound joking, because a joking Shou was something he knew how to deal with. He still had the feeling that he was getting pranked, but he didn’t know how to avoid it.

He took the rose gingerly and placed it on the table plate demonstratively instead of keeping it in his hands. Shou’s facial expression was impossible to read. Yutaka could not tell, if he had offended him.

“It’s empty already?!”, Kenji complained. He had taken up the champagne bottle and studied it in disbelief.

“I can order another round!”, Shou offered right away and already raised his hand, but luckily, Kenji stopped him.

“It’s fine”, he said quickly. He seemed to be a little uncomfortable around this new version of Shou as well.

“Yes, I think it’s time we all go home”, Jun confirmed.

“No!”, Shou protested. “No, no! This party can’t stop! We have to keep drinking! Let’s celebrate all night.”

“It’s late”, Kenji pointed out.

“And you seem to need rest the most”, Jun agreed.

“You should take off this suit”, Kenji added. He spoke very gently, not like he was soothing Shou, but as if he was seriously worried about him.

“They’re right”, Yutaka said softly. He realized that he was worried about Shou, too. Tonight, he seemed unpredictable and possibly reckless. “Let’s pay the bill and then I’ll take you home.”

Shou turned and looked at him cheekily.

“I see, so you want to continue the party elsewhere.” His tone left no room for wondering what kind of party he had in mind.

“What? No!”

“I’ll take you to a fancy hotel”, Shou suggested and this time, he leaned in so far that Yutaka involuntarily pulled back. “Just give me a chance. If you let me, I’ll make you feel things that no woman has ever made you feel before.”

Yutaka’s neck felt hot again and now his face started to heat as well. He thought of everything that entailed. He thought of feeling Shou inside of him.

“Just let me try”, Shou coaxed, but he no longer sounded flirtatious. He sounded like he was begging. The despair in Shou’s voice scared him. He didn’t know what to do with it.

“Shou”, he said as sternly as possible and grabbed him by the shoulder to push him back. It felt like dealing with someone, who was very, very drunk. “It’s really time you take off that suit and get some sleep.”

Shou pulled back from his touch and wrinkles were showing around the root of his nose. The lines made his face look so characteristically himself, that Yutaka felt almost relieved.

“I don’t want to”, Shou said and finally, he sounded like his stubborn self again. “I don’t want this party to end.” He seemed to be repeating the words like a spell now and gestured towards the table as if he wanted to include everything. “I don’t want this night to end. I want to stay with you all night.” He gestured towards himself. “Like this.”

Yutaka didn’t fully understand what Shou meant, but his emotions seemed so raw and honest, it pained him anyway.

“You can’t, Shou. You are not yourself.”

Shou hung his head.

“I am”, he said. “I am.”

“Hey”, Yutaka said gently and touched his arm. Jun and Kenji stayed out of the conversation like they always did, when Shou turned difficult. It was only ever Yutaka, who managed to soothe him. “You need some rest.”

“Fine”, Shou agreed reluctantly. “But you have to take me. And I’m keeping on the suit.”

“Okay.” Yutaka sighed. He figured they could argue over the details later. He looked up at their bandmates. “Why don’t you guys go pay? We’ll pay you back later. I’ll make sure Shou gets home safely. Maybe the fresh air will help.”

“Alright”, Jun agreed. The fact, that neither of them argued about splitting the bill immediately although it contained the expensive bottle of champagne proved they were all irritated by Shou.

“Come here”, Yutaka said as gently as possible and took Shou’s arm to pull him up from the bench. “Let’s get you home.”

Shou followed without resistance. He picked up his bag, that was now empty and allowed Yutaka to guide him over to the front door of the bar.

It was colder outside, although the temperatures were warm enough that they didn’t need a jacket. The cold air cleared Yutaka’s mind a little, but finally getting some distance to Shou certainly helped as well. Inside the bar, he had started to feel dizzy.

Yutaka pulled out his phone and opened an app.

“I think I’m going to call us a cab, alright? We can’t take the train with you looking like this. Also, you might try to pick up random guys, if we don’t get you home straight away.”

“You’re jealous again”, Shou observed and this time, he sounded gleeful.

“I’m not”, Yutaka muttered and requested a ride before putting the phone back into his pocket.

When he looked up, he realized Shou was standing awfully close again. The suit seemed to be making him taller as well, because Yutaka had to look up to him slightly. Maybe it was just his straight posture in combination with the heel of the dress shoes though.

“Have you heard of personal space before?”, he complained and took a step backwards.

Shou took a step forward immediately. If anything, he was standing even closer than before.

“Sorry, that my handsomeness is making you nervous”, he said with a sleek grin. Yutaka had not thought that to be sentence he would ever hear from Shou unironically.

“Uh”, Yutaka said. He had been meaning to deny it, but Shou’s face was so close now, that he forgot how to say words.

“Shh, kitten”, Shou said quietly. He reached up and cupped Yutaka’s face with both hands. His touch was gentle but very secure. Yutaka could sense how bony and strong his fingers felt. They were surprisingly cool.

He knew that he was supposed to pull back, but he stood frozen, and he felt guilty for that. He knew that Shou was not himself and it was up to him to keep the situation from getting weird. But truth was, that he liked the way Shou touched him and he liked it when he held his gaze for so long and he liked it, when he called him kitten.

“Don’t”, he forced out softly anyway. “You can’t just do something like that in public.”

They were the only ones out on the street, but someone might walk out of the bar any moment. Anyone could see them.

“I don’t care”, Shou said. “I don’t want to worry about who could possibly see us. I’m tired of always worrying. I just want to kiss you.” He paused. “May I?”

Yutaka knew exactly what the answer was supposed to be. Under no circumstances could he allow this to happen, because it was reckless and dumb and moreover immoral.

“Yes”, he whispered.

Shou leaned in and kissed him with astonishing force. His kiss wasn’t hesitant at all. He kissed like he knew what he wanted. His lips were soft and his hold on Yutaka was firm. It made him feel very safe and oddly frail. He parted his lips and allowed Shou to kiss him like no one had ever kissed him in a public space before. Their teeth clicked together and Shou’s nose brushed his cheek and when he pulled back eventually, Yutaka was out of breath.

Shou looked at him and he broke into that sweet, bashful smile again, that looked so much like him, except lighter and happier than Yutaka had ever seen him before.

For a moment, he thought that he might just give in. He considered going back to a hotel with this new version of Shou, who would hold him in his strong arms and whisper sweet nothings into his ear and kiss him full of confidence. Yutaka would grow weak in his arms, because he was handsome and cool and self-assured.

But it wasn’t real.

“Stop it”, he said as gently as possible as Shou moved to lean in once again. “This is no good.”

“We can go somewhere more private”, Shou offered immediately.

Yutaka shook his head.

“It’s this suit. There is something wrong with it. It obviously works on men instead of women. It’s making you weird. You need to take it off.”

“No, no, please”, Shou said and he reached up instinctively, clawing his hand into the lapel of the suit coat as if he was scared Yutaka might try to tear it off. “This suit is not changing me. It’s just making me more confident. It’s … This is me. This is the version of me that’s in my head. It’s who I want to be. All the time. I don’t want to … I can’t let this end. I want to stay this version. I don’t want this party to end.” Vaguely he gestured back to the bar.

“So, you want to be someone, who promiscuously hits on all of his bandmates?” It had been meant as a joke, but it came out bitter. The way Shou had touched Kenji’s face made their kiss just now meaningless – regardless of whenever it was the suit or something Shou repressed violently.

“I want to be someone who is at terms with and open about his sexuality”, Shou blurted out.

Yutaka was pretty sure that the surprised was written all over his face. Before tonight, Shou had never indicated liking men at all.

“I want to be able to joke about it”, Shou said. “I don’t want to hide from the people closest to me. But most importantly, I want to show you how I feel. You’re the person I …”

He finally let go of his suit coat and his arm dropped down by his side as if he no longer had the energy to gesture at all.

“I wanted to try if the suit worked. I thought, if it does, I’d one day wear it to tell you. I wasn’t meaning to do it right away. Things got out of hand. I was scared of this night ending, because … I don’t know what will come afterwards.”

Yutaka licked his lips.

“So, you …?”, he started, but didn’t know how to finish the question.

“Yeah”, Shou confirmed. “I love you. And when I’m wearing this suit … when I’m wearing it, I’m cool and handsome. I’ll keep wearing it. And if you give me a chance, I think I can make you like me a little too. You allowed me to kiss you like this. You are at least somewhat attracted to me in this suit. I can be this version of myself for you. I’ll keep being it.”

Yutaka shook his head slightly.

“What are you going to do?” He wasn’t mocking Shou. He was sad, because Shou sounded so desperate. ��Keep wearing the suit in your sleep?”

Shou shrugged and smiled helplessly.

“I hope they’ll design magic pyjamas soon”, he said.

Yutaka looked at Shou and all he saw was a handsome host. He had no idea where the despair in his voice was coming from. It was as if he couldn’t see below the pretty surface at all.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”, Shou plead. “I confessed to you. Don’t I deserve an answer?”

“Please, take off the suit”, Yutaka said. He suddenly felt exhausted. He was tired of dealing with this person in front of him. He just wanted to talk to his friend. “I want to give you a proper reply, but I can’t when you are wearing this suit.”

“It makes me better”, Shou insisted.

“This …” Yutaka gestured towards Shou and the green streaks in his hair. “I feel like I’m talking to a stranger. I need to make sure it’s really you.”

Shou looked at him for a long time and Yutaka was convinced he would decline. But then he nodded and slowly took off the suit coat.

He blinked and then Shou was already different.

He was back in his Tamiya shirt, his arms bare and pale and awkwardly holding on to the suit coat. His hair was blonde again and looked uncombed because he had run his hands through it early this evening. His face was flushed and bare and his eyes were tiny, but dark and so much warmer than when he was wearing coloured lenses. He kept his eyes cast down and yet Yutaka had the feeling he was seeing them for the first time tonight. He seemed small, hunched over once again and his head too large for his shoulders, making him look frail and in need of protection.

Yutaka felt a giant wave of affection rushing through him and he had to stop himself from wrapping his arms around Shou.

He had missed him. He had missed him so much more than he had ever expected. And he thought that this awkward little guy with the small eyes and the messy hair was the most beautiful version of a human being possible.

“Hey”, he said quietly.

Shou looked up briefly, but he didn’t manage to hold his gaze for too long, just as it had always been.

“Hey”, he replied.

“Do you …?” Yutaka broke off. For a moment, he considered that Shou might have forgotten about everything that had happened tonight. “Do you still feel the same? Without the suit?”

“Yeah”, Shou confirmed. “The same. Plus, an awful lot of regret for saying it out loud.”

Yutaka chuckled.

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Shou looked down onto the suit coat in his hands. His hands still looked the same. “I behaved awful tonight. Sorry for putting you into a position like this. Let’s just forget I ever said anything. In fact, let’s just forget about this entire night.”

Worried lines were showing everywhere on Shou’s face. His face looked all weird and wrinkly. He looked like his old gloomy, over-thinking self again.

“I should probably burn this thing to make sure I never do anything this stupid again.”

“You probably should”, Yutaka agreed.

Shou had looked happier when wearing the suit, more relaxed. Yutaka wanted him to look this happy always, but he knew they’d have to find a different way for that.

“Sorry”, Shou mumbled again.

Yutaka paused for a moment.

“Though, if I’m honest, I’m going to miss you calling me your kitten”, he confessed jokingly.

Shou looked irritated. Yutaka let him suffer for just a few seconds more.

“I’m also going to miss you kissing me”, he added.

Shou looked up and sucked in his lower lip. His teeth were showing visibly. He looked by no means conventionally attractive and Yutaka loved him for that.

“Really?”, Shou asked insecurely.

“Really”, Yutaka assured him without hesitation.

Shou started smiling and it was the same smile as before. The warm one with the cute dimple, that made his lips look gorgeous and that was shy and hesitant, but finally happy without a trace of worry. And Yutaka thought, that they were going to get there and that they wouldn’t need a magic suit for it at all.

“We can always work on that”, Shou said. “Right, kitten?”

[overzne]

𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒑𝒍𝒐𝒕𝒔.

under  the  cut  are  21  different  plots  that  i  want  ,  all  separated  by  muse.  if  you  want  to  discuss  one  you  can  always  message  me  !!

WHITLEY  NAM  (  jennie  kim  fc  )

your  muse  and  whitley  tend  to  visit  the  same  place  often  but  she  always  ends  up  leaving  before  getting  the  opportunity  to  talk  to  them.  so  she  decides  to  leave  cute  sticky  notes  for  them  at  the  table  they  frequent  &.  maybe  your  muse  starts  to  write  back  ??  eventually  they  decide  to  meet  in  person  and  cue  the  cute  and  awkward  glances  and  the  “  wow  you’re  pretty  ”  compliments.  we  can  do  first  dates  ,  first  kisses  ,  them  talking  about  books  and  dreams.  please  just  give  this  to  me.

she’s  a  children’s  author  so  if  your  muse  by  chance  has  a  little  girl  /  sister  ,  maybe  they  could  like  her  books  so  much  that  she  drags  them  to  a  book  signing  where  they  can  meet  whitley  ??  she’d  adore  how  excited  the  girl  is  and  they  would  probably  hit  it  off.  meanwhile  your  muse  is  sitting  in  the  small  purple  chairs  filled  with  little  children  and  their  dolls  so  they  stand  out  ,  catching  her  attention.

HAN  CHANWOO (  park chanyeol fc  )

the  patient  /  nurse  plot.  your  muse  is  a  regular  --  which  is  weird  to  say  with  hospitals  --  who  always  ends  up  with  chanwoo.  at  first  he’s  always  upset  seeing  them  in  there  but  he  can’t  help  but  to  like  the  attention  ,  but  jeez  he’d  just  prefer  if  they  ask  for  his  number  instead  of  fake  dying  4  times  a  week.  so  he  asks  for  their  number  and  we  go  from  there.  (  if  anyone  out  there  had  a  tae  with  a  daughter  ,  please  give  this  back  to  me , xoxo  )

the  nurse  /  doctor  route.  he’s  been  with  one  before  but  that  fell  flat  so  he’s  been  dodging  dating  co - workers  to  save  himself  the  trouble.  however  ,  it  doesn’t  help  that  he’s  slowly  starting  to  fall  for  the  doctor  he’s  calling  his  best  friend.  imagine  chanwoo  staying  behind  at  work  late  hours  just  for  them  ,  buying  them  lunch  ,  blowing  up  their  phone  telling  them  to  stay  healthy  ,  the  sneaky  and  quick  pecks  on  the  lips.

BYUN DONGHYUK  (  kim  rowoon  fc  )

SUGAR BABY.  listen  ,  hear  me  out.  donghyuk has  no  idea  what  to  do  with  all  the  money  he’s  gotten  so  dummy  would  jokingly  sign  up  on  a  sugar  baby  website  and  see  how  may  requests  he  can  get  but --- wait  ,  i  know  this  person.  why  did  they  ask  me  to  be  their  sugar  daddy  ??  so  he  decides  to  meet  with  them  and  he’s  all  shy  and  timid  and  immediately  admits  that  he  has  no  clue  what  to  do  so  the  sugar  baby  shows  him  how  to  have  a  good  time  with  his  money.  it  can  turn  into  an  amazing  friendship  or  a  really  cute  relationship  but  i’m  here for  both.  like  imagine  them  taking  trips  and  the  matching  couple  outfits  but  they’re  just  friends  ??  iconic.

give  me  someone  who  is  blatantly  using  him  for  his  money.  like  the  best  friend  who  knows  that  donghyuk  would  be  willing  to  do  anything  for  them  so  they  take  advantage  and  start  making  his  pockets  hurt.  but  he’s  blinded  by  his  trust  for  them  to  even  notice.  imagine  the confrontation  ...  the  angst.  we  can  build  up  to  this  point.  shopping  trips  ,  the  subtle  usage  of  his  card,  etc.

i  want  the  plot  where  donghyuk  starts  to  hang  out  with  rich  assholes  who  influence  him  to  start  becoming  like  them.  maybe  it’s  someone  who  hung  out  with  the  rich  guys  before  he  came  around  but  they  saw  that  he  was  different  and  started  liking  him  ??  can  be  a  childhood  friend  who  warns  him  that  they’re  just  using  him  but  he  doesn’t  listen.  whatever  the  case  may  be  ,  they  start  to  notice  him  acting  different  which  can  lead  up  to  plenty  of  arguments  and  the  “it’s  me  or  them”  but  what  if  he  can’t  choose  ??  will  they  still  stay  ,  or  will  they  go.

PARK  YEEUN  (  yoo  shiah  fc  )

OLDER  WOMEN  !!!!!!!!!  give  me  the  plot  where  yeeun  is  secretly  helping  her  mother’s  worst  enemy  win  over  the  company.  give  me  the  late  night  meetups  in  hot  tubs  while  they  drink  champagne  and  talk  about  how  they’ll  drive  the  woman  out  once  and  for  all.  give  me  the  dirty  messages  being  sent  during  conferences  while  they  sit  across  from  each  other.  maybe  yeeun’s  being  used  and  this  can  lead  to  angst  ??  or  maybe  they  truly  do  love  each  other.

HWANG  YEBIN  (  son  naeun  fc  )

give  me  the  person  who  yebin  wants  to  change  for.  like  she’s  hellbent  on  making  their relationship  work  but  it  seems  like  god  isn’t  here  for  it.  every  time  she  really  tries  ,  things  turn  out  bad.  so  she  decides  to  breaks  things  off  before  she  hurts  them  because  everything  she  touches  goes  up  in  flames  and  that’s  the  last  thing  she  wants  for  them.  like  i  want  a  genuine  relationship  with  her  that  is  such  an  eye  opener  for  her.

the  best  friend  who  helps  yebin  do  dumb  shit.  like  picture  your  muse  being  the  lookout  while  she  slashes  someone  tires  or  throws  a  brick  through  her  ex’s  car  window.  they  probably  drink  wine  and  shit  talk  tv  shows  in  their  silk  pajamas  while  making  dating  websites  to  troll  single  men  OUHVWLMWECOWJEL.  +  bonus  :  one  day  they  end  up  sleeping  together  but  because  they  both  know  they’re  bad  at  relationships  it’s  just  for  fun  until  your  muse  goes  on  a  date  and  suddenly  they  see  yebin  standing  in  the  restaurant  window  with  the  glare  they’ve  seen  too  many  times  to  forget.

THIRD  CHAIYAPORN  (  win  metawin  fc  )

he’s  trying  his  best  and  your  muse  is  helping  him  do  that.  maybe  he  wants  to  get out  of  the  scamming  business  and  do  actual  work  but  ew ???  uniforms  ???  picture  them  helping  him  get  jobs  only  for  him  to  get  fired  on the  first  day  because  he  doesn’t  want  to  “ruin  his  beauty.”  your  muse  is  his  motivation  to  do  better  but  he  doesn’t  know  how  to  be  a  “normal”  person  since  he  grew  up  with  a  silver  spoon  in  his  mouth. think  of  the  surprise  dinners  he’d  make  after  learning  how  to  properly  cook.  him  giving  his  first  three  checks  from  his  most  stable  job  to  your  muse  to  show  appreciation. take  the  rich  boy  and  make  him  a  working  man !!!!!!

HOLLAND  CHOI  (  kim  yugyeom  fc  )

the  best  friend  who  can’t  believe  he’s  alive.  you  really  need  to  know  his  backstory  for  this  but  to  put  it  shortly  ,  holland  was  abducted  at  the  age of  8  and  his  case  ended  up  going  cold  after  the  police  assumed  he  died  in  the  fire  of  the  house  he  was  supposedly  trapped  in.  he  ended  up  finally  getting  free  at  the  age  of  20  and  returns  to  his  hometown.  imagine  he  goes  to  his  old  house  to  see  someone  standing  right  there  in  front  of  the  memorial  the  neighborhood  put  together  and  all  they  hear  is  “ i’m  finally  home ”  from  behind  them.  give  me  the  person  who’d  help  holland  adjust  to  life  again.  they  help  fight  off  bad  dreams  ,  they  reassure  him  of  things.  it’s  what  he  deserves.

the  first  relationship.  at  some  point  he  decides  to  try  out  this  whole  relationship  thing  because  he  feels  really  confident  in  himself  at  this  point  in  time.  like  it’d  be  adorable  until  they  try  to  hold  his  hand  and  he  freaks  out  a  bit  but  apologizes.  at  some  point  he’d  explain  his  situation  and  they  can  try  to  help  him  trust  better.  he’d  feel  bad  for  making  them  think  they’re  in  the  wrong  when  it  comes  to  certain  things  but  they’re  understanding  and  are  willing  to  take  things  as  slow  as  holland  wants.  like  i  just  want  the  adorable  shyness  of  him  getting  overdressed  for  a  date  ;  the  quick  peck  on  the  cheek  because  he  saw  them  sad  and  wanted  to  cheer  them  up.  i  just  want  a  slow  burn  tbh.

AUSTIN  BAE  (  kim  mingyu  fc  )

give  me  the  plot  where  he  ends  up  falling  for  his  first  male  co - star.  like  the  sex  was  amazing  and  all  but  it  was  the  little  kisses  and  tiny  care  during  it  that  made  him  go  “  yeah  i  want  this  guy.  ”  but  they  can  be  a  macho  pornstar  that  doesn’t  do  dating  so  he  settles  for  when  they  meet  on  set.  could  give  him  more  tips  on  sex  with  other  men  so  it  becomes  a  mentor  with  benefits  type  of  deal.  obviously  austin  is  gonna  catch  feelings  so  how  this  plays  out  is  all  up  to  you.

roommates.  PLEASE.  if  anybody  needs  dumbass  roommates  the  most  , it’s  austin.  like  i  want  gc  messages  where  they  just  all  fight  over  who  drunk  the  last  bit  of  orange  juice  in  the  fridge  and  someone  gets  kicked  out  the  chat  for  confessing  they  did  it.  i  want  the  game  nights  where  they  have  to  ban  uno  because  two  of  them  started  strangling  each  other  over  a  draw  4.  +  bonus :  two  of  them  start  dating  and  austin  starts  feeling  left  out  so  fuck  it  ! poly

JACKLYN  MOON  (  choi  yoona  fc  )

give  me  the  protector  plot  where  your  muse  was  hired  by  her  father  to  keep  her  safe  overseas  so  they  pretend  to  be  a  neighbor  and  befriend.  whether  she  knows  about  them  or  not  is  up  to  the  plot  but  imagine  her  not  knowing  her  dad  sent  someone  to  keep  an  eye  out  on  her  ??  they  could  end  up  becoming  good  friends  ,  they  always  end  up  having  dinner  at  the  other’s  place  ,  she  sends  them  memes  at  4  am  because  she’s  bored.  but  what  if  she  grows  romantic  feelings  so  they  have  to  confess  about  why  they’re  really  there.  +  bonus  :  they  end  up  sleeping  together  just  so  your  muse  can  go  “  so  i  work  for  your  dad  ...  round  2  ? ”

OR OR ORRRRR  ...  give  me  the  plot  where  she  does  know  that  they  work  for  her  dad.  she  starts  trying  to  dodge  them  from  following  her  but  fails.  they  plant  a  tracking  device  on  her  and  she’s  fuming  but  all  they  say  is  “it’s  your  dad’s  orders.”  at  some  point  she  drags  them  to  the  club  with  her  and  it’s  cute  until  they  get  into  a  fist  fight  with  someone  over  her  who  had  a  weapon  on  them.  she  scolds  them  for  nearly  getting  themselves  killed  but  all  they  say  “ i’d  rather  it  be  me  than  you”  and  she’s  mad  but  something  about  how  they  said  made  her  think  it  goes  beyond  their  job.  +  bonus  :  they  actually  had  feelings  for  one  another  before  she  was  shipped  off  so  they  took  the  job  to  watch  her  overseas  because  of  their  feelings.

KIM  EUNDONG  (  choi  yujin  fc  )

idk  if  y’all  watch  fatal  promise  on  kbs  but  god  if  you  have  ,  give  me  the  eundong  /  jihun  relationship  where  an  air - headed  rich  kid  who’s  trying  to  gain  their  father’s  attention  befriends  a  girl  who  is  trying  to  take  down  their  family  due  to  her  suspicions  that  they  killed  her  father.  like  imagine  them  growing  head  over  heels  for  her  but  she’s  strictly  keeping  it  cordial.  until  they  propose  to  get  married  so  she  ends  up  gaining  more  power  when  taking  down  her enemies. 

OH HAJOON  (  im  jaebeom  fc  )

the  ghost  writer  /  idol  relationship  ,  please  and  thank  you.  i  want  the  plot  where  hajoon  has  written  songs  for  a  certain  artist  /  group  since  their  debut  and  they  have  a  really  good  relationship  but  somehow  it  turns  romantic  ??  like  what  if  they  have  to  sing  a  confession  song  and  they  feel  like  hajoon  wrote  it  about  them  and  they  ask  who’s  it  about  and  hajoon’s  like  “ some  idiot  who’s  sitting  next  to  me ” so  now  there’s  late  night  recording  sessions  ending  up  with  making  out  in  the  recording  booth  and  subtle  hand  holding  when  no  one’s  looking.  it’s  all  fun  and  games  until  a  song  hajoon  writes  for  them  ends  up  becoming  a  single  when  he  never  allowed  it  to  be.  that  would  be  when  hajoon  leaves  the  company  and  becomes  a  lounge  singer  but  picture  your  muse  in  a  pr  relationship  stunt  and  they  go  out  one  night  just  to  see  hajoon  performing  and  whew  boy  ...  i  want  it.

HAN  JUNHYEOK  (  woo  dohwan  fc  )

i  want  the  hidden  relationship  between  the  important  person  in  the  company  and  their  assistant.  junhyeok  is  married  to  a  npc  but  obviously  that  was  for  show  since  they’re  both  just  trying  to  hide  their  fucked  up  ways.  meanwhile  his  assistant  starts  to  catch  his  eye  and  it’s  really  all  downhill  from  there  because  the  man  is  evil  and  will  somehow  fuck  up  their  life  but  he  doesn’t  want  to  do  that  ...  yet.  so  he  keeps  throwing  hints  that  he’s  interesting  but  it  isn’t  until  the  important  gala  event  that  they  notice  it  because  he’s  got  them  trapped  in  a  little  closet  with  a  hint  of  both  jealousy  and  lust  in  his  eyes.

SINCLAIR  KIM  (  lee  haechan  fc  )

i  want  the  best  friend  who  doesn’t  mind  going  on  this  adventure  with  sinclair  in  solving  his  mom’s  mystery.  like  i  want  the  goofy  duo  who  explores  abandon  super  markets  and  their  headquarters  is  a  raggedy  tree  house  in  sinclair’s  grandparent’s  backyard  that’s  so  close  to  falling  but  won’t.  i  want  them  hanging  out  on  a  playground  set  at  night  just  talking  about  anything.  give  me  the  bets  that  end  up  with  one  of  them  getting  injured  but  they  still  decide  to  do  them  ,  them  hanging  out  in  libraries  late  at  night  as  they  do  research  or  just  them  riding  a  bike  around  town  and  feeling  free.  +  bonus  :  they  both  end  up  getting  into  a  really  dangerous  situation  that  has  your  muse  hurt  to  the  point  where  he  realized  they’re  really  all  he  wants  in  his  life.

[misunderstood-shadows]

Rings: Part 2

Warnings: swearing, a little something-something at the end

Word count: 2280

The walls thumped with the beat, almost too loud for my sensitive ears. Had I not had nearly four vodka sodas and three tequila shots in me, I would probably have a raging headache.

As such, I was feeling pretty good. The Abattoir was busy for a weeknight, humans mingling amongst the vampires, unaware of what was to befall them in… two minutes and twenty-three seconds.

Hands were on my hips, sliding up my ribs and then down to the tops of my thighs. I smiled, leaning back into whoever was behind me.

“I heard we have a mutual friend,” he said lowly behind me.

I spun to face him, his hands still on me. “Do I know you?”

He was tall, dark and handsome, brilliant white teeth gleaming at me.

It took me a moment. “Marcellus?” I gasped. “My God, what a man you’ve become.”

He smiled down at me before leaning back into my ear. “You’re far more beautiful than I remembered from my childhood as well.” He glanced around us at the writhing bodies. “Please don’t tell me I’m about to have a thirsty Original Hybrid ruining my night.”

I shook my head. “They’re at their hotel.” Elijah had told me that much at least; don’t tell Marcel anything.

He smiled. “Lucky me, I get you all to myself.”

He leaned down, pressing his lips to my neck, hips connecting.

“Have you chosen who you’re having tonight?”

I shook my head again, humming. “Not yet.”

“Well, you don’t have long.”

He spun me around, pulling me back into his chest. “I seem to recall you have a penchant for tall, lean men. Preferably dressed in a suit and spouting promises he won’t keep.”

Pulling away, I said, “If that’s what you want, Marcel, then leave now. I have no hold over Elijah.”

He smiled patronizingly down at me. “Oh, somehow I don’t think that’s possible.”

BONG.

The music seemed to amp up, the beat pounding harder against the stone walls of the club.

BONG.

Murmurs of ‘don’t scream’ mixed with the beat, the humans standing still and pliant as fangs tore into soft flesh. Reaching behind him, Marcel pulled forward a girl, barely into her twenties. He offered her to me, neck first.

I stepped forward, watching him as I bit in. After a moment, he followed suit, biting her other side. Her blood was young and thick, the alcohol in it giving a warm aftertaste. After a moment, I pulled back, biting into my wrist and offering it to the dozy girl.

Marcel grinned at me, mouth ringed with blood. “Not a bad setup, hey?”

The music returned to its normal beat, and everyone resumed, some people swaying a little more than they had been. Marcel grabbed my wrist, pulling me through the crowd and over to a small alcove guarded by two vampires. They let him through without question but watched me suspiciously as I passed.

“Where are we going?” I asked, still following him.

He smiled back at me but didn’t answer. We made our way up the stairs, winding up and around. The door at the top opened out into the night air. We walked out onto the roof, the club still thumping below us.

“This is what I wanted to show you,” Marcel said, gesturing to the city lights glimmering around us.

“Yes, yes, it’s pretty. I’ve seen better and I’ve seen worse.”

Marcel shook his head. “No. That’s no it. Listen to it.”

I turned my ears outwards. Usual city sounds, a faint siren wailing in the distance, the sound of breaking glass and, of course, the sounds of parties raging across the Quarter.

“It’s usual noise, Marcel. What is your point?”

“Life! People are out there, living their lives, drinking too much, hooking up with people they shouldn’t. And amongst them? The supernatural remain undetected. Witches and vampires living side by side. The city is peaceful and safe for all.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t pretend that you did this gently and with full cooperation. Those witches don’t practice magic because you threatened them, not because you presented them with a unicorn and rainbows.”

Marcel smiled. “And is that how you think Klaus and Elijah would’ve run the city? With unicorns and rainbows?”

The fresh air was washing away the buzz from the alcohol and feed, and my patience was disappearing with it. “Again, I ask what do you want?”

“I want the Mikaelson’s gone. I want them out of my city and far, far away from here.”

“You know Klaus and Elijah won’t leave, not now that they’re home.”

Marcel gestured to the area around us. “I’ve got to try.”

“Well,” I said, moving towards the edge of the roof I knew dropped down into an alley. “I’m leaving, so that’s one less Original you have to deal with.”

Marcel frowned. “What- trouble in paradise?”

I shrugged. “Something like that.”

Marcel gave me that warm smile again. “Does it have something to do with the fact that you no longer have a daylight ring?”

I glanced down at my hand, having forgotten about my missing ring. Frowning, I studied my bare hand, as if it was some alien that’d attached to me without my knowledge. I hadn’t taken that ring off in a thousand years, except to have it spelled with a charm so it wouldn’t break.

“Yes, I… lost it recently.”

Marcel reached into his pocket, drawing out a ring. The lapis lazuli glinted in the lights of the club below. “There’s a witch about 8 miles out of town, she can do your ring for you. If you leave now, you can make it before dawn.”

“Thank you.”

Marcel smiled at me, then I stepped backward, falling through the air and landing on my feet in the alley below.

I took off into the night without looking, heading straight to my car and taking off into the night. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. Elijah joined Marcel on the roof, Y/N’s ring burning a hole in his pocket. He watched as she strode from the alley, head high.

“You really fucked her over, didn’t you?”

Elijah didn’t answer.

“She’s changed, Elijah.”

“Is there a point for my presence, Marcellus? I grow tired of your games.”

Marcel turned to Elijah, trying not to remember how much he had once loved and looked up to the man. “You heard my offer. I want you all gone from New Orleans. Go take over another city or start a new one. I don’t care, just not here.”

Elijah had to try very hard not to roll his eyes. “You know Niklaus won’t leave, and I certainly cannot let my brother run rampant through the city.”

Marcel gestured to where Y/N had disappeared to. “Not even for her?”

Elijah didn’t answer, and when Marcel turned around, he was alone on the roof. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. The Audi came out of nowhere.

I slammed on the brakes, the car skidding across the bitumen. Elijah stepped out of the Audi, watching as I halted barely an inch from his back bumper. The steering wheel had cracked under the pressure of my grip.

“The car is a rental!” I growled.

He waved a hand dismissively. “We can easily afford to replace it.”

“What do you want, Elijah?”

He stepped forward, reaching for me. “You must return to home with me. The witches are planning something, and we need as much strength as we can-”

My hand shot up so fast that Elijah didn’t have time to duck. His head snapped to the side, the skin splitting over his cheek before rehealing, only a small line of blood remaining. Eyes turning, snarled at me.

“Don’t you fucking come near me,” I scowled back. “You come out here, asking me to return less than an hour after I found out you hadn’t told your latest plaything you were married. Tell me, did any of the others know? Or am I your dirty little secret?”

He reached for me, face stony.

“No. Don’t touch me.” I pulled out of his reach, and his hand dropped.

“I kept you hidden for your protection. From Mikael, whom I hope you remember, was intent on killing us all.”

I rolled my eyes. “So instead you banished me, leaving me to fend for myself? Thank you, Elijah, I appreciate that.”

I turned back to the car, but his hand wrapped securely around my wrist. “Do not take that tone with me, Y/N.”

I snarled up at him, turning around to face him and stepping into his face. “Take your hand off me.”

“You came when Niklaus called, despite everything that transpired between us. After 500 years, why now?”

I bit my lip, unable to maintain eye contact with him anymore. “I saw you. I was in Mystic Falls when Mikael was there. I saw Klaus break the werewolf curse and I saw you. And seeing you there after all this time, it reminded me of all we had.”

His eyes softened slightly, his grip loosening. “I never knew you were there.”

“I know. I didn’t want you to. I wanted you to call me, to ask me to come back.” I saw a flicker of something behind his eyes… shame, maybe?

Elijah watched me for a moment, then released my arm. Reaching into his pocket, he withdrew my ring. He offered it to me, palm up. I shook my head, pushing the offering away.

“Keep it,” I said. “Give it to Hayley. Or whoever you’d like. I don’t need it. There’s a witch who can make me a new one.”

“It’s your wedding ring, Y/N. I can’t give it to someone else- if there was anyone else.” He gave me a soft smile, but I couldn’t return it.

A hole had opened up in my chest, and the knowledge that he was lying straight to my face was only making it bigger. I stepped back, pulling away. “It’s ok, Elijah. You don’t have to pretend. I’ve kept up over the years. I know about Celeste and Katrina.”

His face fell. “I give you my word, they meant nothing to me.”

“Don’t do that, Elijah. I’ve known you since we were children. You can’t lie to me.” I turned my back on him, moving towards my car. “I’m going to find somewhere far away from you, Elijah. You can live here, raise the baby with Hayley, have a second chance at fatherhood. I don’t care. I just can’t be near you anymore.”

I got as far as opening the door before a hand grasped my shoulder, spinning me around. “I made a mistake when I sent you away. I’m trying to fix it. Please.”

He looked so sincere, so lost. So… human. I reached up, a thumb stroking across his cheek. It was a familiar feeling, yet it felt so new after nearly 5 centuries.

“Our son had your cheekbone,” I said quietly.

The corners of Elijah’s lips curled. “And your eyes.”

“What happened, Elijah? We used to love each other so much, and now we can barely spend a night under the same roof.”

One of his hands came up to rest on my neck, thumb on my jaw. “We lived.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, just enjoying his touch. “Yes, well, maybe we’re not meant to be. Your father always said I wasn’t good enough. Maybe he was right.”

“He wasn’t,” Elijah replied immediately. “You are meant to be mine. Sending you away was a mistake, and I will spend the rest of my life attempting to earn your forgiveness.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t just that; that I understand. It was the women as well. I kept tabs on you; I knew every time you found something new to play with. And I knew each time they died just how much you hurt.”

He stayed silent, thumb still tracing my jaw.

“I need to know,” I said slowly.  “If they meant something more to you, or if they were just distractions from living?”

Elijah leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “They were nothing to compared to you. I didn’t love them, not as I love you.”

I sucked in a breath, closing my eyes. “If you don’t mean, please don’t say it.”

Elijah pressed his thumb into my jaw, tilting my head up to look at him. Ever so slowly, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine. I stretched up, pressing my lips more firmly to his. One of us made a noise, and Elijah scooped me up, hands secure beneath my thighs. The car was cold against my back, but I didn’t care. Elijah was back in my arms, and there was nothing tearing me from him now.

He carefully leaned back, pinning me against the car with his hips. I groaned and he grinned down at me.

“ ‘Lijah,” I complained.

He held his closed fist between us, opening his fingers slowly. My ring was in his palm, again, an offering. I looked at it for a moment, before lifting my left hand. Elijah’s lips curled and he carefully slid the ring onto my finger, the familiar weight settling above my knuckle. He pressed a kiss to it, then to my lips.

“We should go back,” he murmured against my lips. “Before my brother burns down the whole of the city.”

I nodded, smiling. “Ok,” I whispered back. “Together?” Elijah smiled down at me. “Together. Always and forever.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Tags: @daphnen21 @poemfreak306 

[fallingstarsarentreal]

The Blue-Haired Minnie Mouse/ Purple Hoodie Guy

September 14, 2020 (6 months after Hellish pandemic break loose)

The situation is not getting any better in the Philippines. Everything is just being a huge joke here and we’re not actually getting proper response from the high ranking officials. Hence, I cannot help but feel quite hopeless with the situation. Also, the toxicity of my fandom has been getting to me at one point in time. So I have decided to go away for a bit, and go back to what soothes me at hard times, Music.

Truth be told, I liked his former band’s music, but I’m not in to the point that I will be stanning them as hard as I am doing right now. (I’m really not into KPOP except for Blackpink so I don’t have much reference... And I usually like ballad and relaxing songs.) I didn’t have the time to watch series then because I was too busy in my former job. Also, I have been into writing way before, so I would be satisfied with listening to their music from time to time.

However, by the time that I have fallen in love with their band, 9by9th, I found out that their “End Route” means the end already, no more renewal of contract of 1 year. I was quite devastated with the news and I kinda took it hard and tried to go fan girl over series instead. *SOBS*

(9x9th members: L-R: Thanapob, Ryu, Captain, Porsche ^^, JameyJames, Third, Jackie, Jaylerr, IceParis)

When Trinity debuted, I was really focused on Third and I can remember that I cried over their MV (Hater’s Got Nothing) because I thought that Third will be able to continue with what he’s passionate about. (Third is originally from Kamikaze group but the company disbanded, and his second group is 9x9th but disbanded as well after one year). I kind of followed them for a bit but then I started managing Philippine Fan club bases of my favorite series, with everything that happened, I got too busy... but all I can remember then was the old me crying because I cannot buy the merchandise from before. (Quite a noob then and I didn’t know about pasabuys and stuff.. so yeah). T_T.

(Trinity members: L-R: Jackie, Porsche <3, JMJ, Third)

Before hell broke lose in the whole world, I had the opportunity to go back to Thailand for the second time and I met those artists that I am following. I actually wanted to meet Trinity but there was no opportunity for me to do so because I didn’t even check their schedule then and I think there wasn’t any update regarding their work, so yeah... T_T. (Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed my stay in Bangkok)

So yeah.. After probably taking in shit from the govt for about 7 months already, and toxicity from something that I really used to enjoy and made me smile, I started to distance myself for a bit because what I really need now is not stress, but something that will probably lift up my mood. So what I did was to stress myself even further... watch mystery series that will probably make your head burst into thinking... so in the end, I actually stopped watching BL series and stumbled into their first series together as 9x9 boys, In Family We Trust.

So an excerpt from Wikipedia says,

The Jiraanan family is a wealthy ethnic Chinese business family, whose extended family spans three generations. Grandfather (A-gong) and Grandmother (A-ma) have four children. Prasoet, the eldest son, heads the family business, Jirananta Hotel, and manages its main Bangkok location, while Phatson, the only daughter, manages its Pattaya branch. Met, the second son, is a single stay-at-home parent, while the youngest son Konkan lives a playboy lifestyle. Among them (and a deceased fifth sibling), they have nine third-generation children. The family members seem to get along well as they celebrate A-gong's birthday, but when he dies of old age shortly after, and his will is revealed to exclude Phatson from inheritance of the hotel, she gets into an argument with Prasoet regarding its management. Prasoet is then found dead from a gunshot in his bedroom, and Phatson becomes a prime suspect. Prasoet's wife Chris also becomes suspected when it is revealed that Prasoet had been seeing a mistress for twenty years. The grandchildren, especially Prasoet and Chris's son Pete and Phatson's eldest son Yi, become involved as each family tries to prove their innocence and uncover the mystery of the case.

This was the first time that I started to look at him. Porsche played the character of Kuaitiao, the orphaned grandson who lived with Grandpa and Grandma. Kuaitiao is actually an art student here and he’s passionate about his drawings.

What probably captured my attention is his ability to lighten up the mood around him. Even at awkward situations he was able to make me laugh. And probably the fact that he’s close to his grandma and a sweet grandchild even if he’s an adopted one. It kinda got into me. I’ll be honest. There was a scene where Grandma wouldn’t eat, and he pretended to be angry and did not eat as well. I found it cute and smiled at first, but after few moments, I was sobbing already. He made me miss my grandma who passed away last July 15.

Over all, I loved his acting here. Rating 4.5/5

(But please, don’t make him cry because I’ll end up crying as well).

(He’s such a precious person guys, pleaseeeee... make him smile a lot, okay?)

So, of course, once you’re interested in your new bias wrecker’s work, you’re going to check his latest and previous works, right? So what I did next is watched their latest series (still with 9x9 boys, but this time, it was 7/9 only. I just found out that Thanapob cannot join the series anymore because he’s busy filming another series and Ryu is actually an actor of another channel. Hence, his few appearances as Macao in In Family We Trust) entitled as, Great Men Academy.

(Great Men Academy Cast: Porsche as P’Good <3, Third as Nuclear, JameyJames as Love, Jackie as Menn, Captain as Sean, Jaylerr as Tangmo, and IceParis as Vier)

The excerpt of the story is as stated below,

Love (Chanyapuk Numprasop) has always been a fan of the popular guy Vier (Paris Intarakomalyasut) of the famous all boys high school Great Men Academy, but she has never had the chance to meet him. One day, she sees the mystical unicorn rumored to fulfill wishes and wished for her love for Vier to get a chance.

Unfortunately, the unicorn interpreted her wishes in a different way and Love wakes up to find herself in a male's body. She is able to switch between genders under the condition that she must return as a girl before midnight each night. Love attends Great Men Academy as a guy, and works through the complications of winning Vier's heart and meeting new people while trying to keep her identity a secret.

I actually fell in love with P’Good’s character here because he’s such a stern but doting brother. Good is kinda strict when it comes to Love at first because he has to be strong for their whole family because his dad passed away. He’s a very smart guy, yet clumsy fellow. He can also be shy when it comes to Me. (His crush in the series. Why can’t it be “me” instead? Just kidding).

Over all, I loved how he brought to life my favorite glasses ikemen on this series. He made me cry with the way he handled the vulnerability of his sister, Love. His acting for me in this series is a complete 5.0/5.0! *For the love of Good, Please?*

I rest my case. I’m dying again of spazzing to Phi Good. (Okay. I have a huge crush on this character. The character, okay?!) hahaha

Wait... let me breathe for just a bit... *hyperventilates in Good’s name*

Then after watching the said series, I started to rewatch their Elements MV. And that got me hooked. I noticed his talent in rapping, singing and dancing that I wouldn’t have normally seen in the first place because I have a bias of my own before.

It’s like the more that I watch him, the more I fall for this person (in terms of being a fan of his). I kind of accepted that he’s my bias on Trinity now when I saw this video. (ปาว ปาว (Shout) – V.R.P kamikaze)

I’ve been reading articles about him when I came across the interview of Bangkok Post with Third and Porsche regarding their new work. (being 9x9th members and In Family We Trust). I found out that Porsche was actually a member of VRP of Kamikaze and I watched all his previous work. So when I saw the video Paw Paw/ (Shout), I burst into laughter. I knew from that time that he’s such a funny guy and he’s giving me positive vibes.

As I continued watching, I saw him with a Minnie mouse headband, and I lost it... I laughed a lot, which I rarely do these days. So by then, I wasn’t able to help it, I started to love this kid more.

I continued to watch all the showcases, the fancams, the v-live videos, the vlogs about him and goodness gracious, I am really swoon. This kid is such an interesting person and I really regret not knowing him right away.

As I get to know him, the more I admire him. I mean... for real, it’s even funny knowing his quirks. Like he likes to draw stuff, he likes to play the piano, he loves Anime and his favorite anime is Hitman Reborn! (I wonder if he likes Hibari Kyoya too). Anyway aside from his talent, another selling factor of him to me is his positivity towards life.

“Don't worry na krub, all TWILIGHT. No matter what will happen in the future or the situation, we are always TRINITY and we will do better than before krub.” #XXSIVK #PorscheSivakorn 

His positivity and his ambition would inspire you to do well and go on no matter how difficult things may be.

Thank you Porsche, you are indeed a good source of a breather in my life. Things have been quite difficult in the Philippines and no matter how much I wanted to take a vacation now, I can’t. Your music makes me smile a lot and at times, I forget my worries when I watch you dance. It’s like watching someone you idolize do what they love to do and give it all with passion makes you motivated as well and keeps you going.

Truth be told, you remind me of one of my favorite persons. He used to be brimming with life. But covid made things difficult for him... well it made things difficult for everyone. I really hope he gets his footing soon.

PS. I might not be able to get to know you in person in this life, but I really wish you success. I will always be watching from afar. :)

I’ll be waiting for your come back again. Thanks a bunch XX :)

[vexedtonightmares]

La Fin Des Temps Chapter 11 (Elu Hogwarts AU)

Mardi 10:40 - “I have to take care of something”

Lucas couldn’t stop staring at Eliott, and Eliott couldn’t stop staring at him. If he wasn’t careful, this was really going to get in the way of his studies. He glanced down at his empty worksheet. Well, more than it had already. Neither of them had left the Room of Requirement until Monday morning, when they’d had to because of classes. It had been painful, leaving the haven Lucas knew was going to disappear the minute they left. Even more painful was the fact that they hadn’t been able to sneak in any alone time all day, friends asking too many questions and not leaving them for even a moment. Fortunately, and surprisingly, none of them had even considered the possibility that Lucas and Eliott had been together all weekend. Actually, now that he thought about it, none of them had said anything about Eliott being missing at all. Yann nudged his side, not for the first time during their lesson, concern shining in his eyes.

“I’m starting to understand Imane’s issues with your work ethic, man. I thought you were in the library working all weekend?” he asked. It wasn’t accusatory, but he wasn’t going to let Lucas get away with the same lie he’d been telling since Lucas arrived back in the dormitory Monday morning.

“I was working,” Lucas argued, “Just not on Charms. I had so much shit to do for Potions and Arithmancy.”

“I still don’t understand why you chose Arithmancy over literally any other subject. It’s math, dude.” Yann shook his head incredulously. Lucas shrugged. He really didn’t mind math all that much. The numbers made sense to him, much more sense than pretending they could see the future with some tea leaves like the girls did in Divination. Though, he suspected the only reason they’d all continued Divination was to be in the same class together.

“Where’s Arthur?” Lucas realized suddenly, looking around the room before his gaze landed on Eliott’s again and he blushed involuntarily.

Yann simply looked at him like he was insane. “Dueling club captain? Remember? He had some meeting with the headmistress or something. I swear, Lucas, what’s up with you these days?”

Lucas had to try very hard to pay attention to Yann, eyes moving away from Eliott reluctantly. “What do you mean?”

“This, Friday, everything.” Yann rolled his eyes, snapping a finger in front of his face to get his focus. “Where’s your head at?”

“The same place it’s always at,” Lucas said defensively, but Yann pushed on.

“I’m not buying that. For weeks you’ve been in some sort of a daze. You ditch us all the time without excuse, or say you’re going to the library and don’t show up again for hours, even days. Friday at the meeting you just disappeared and I didn’t see you again until Monday morning. You didn’t respond to texts, Instagram messages, anything.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucas tried.

Yann shook his head. “I don’t need an apology, I just want to know what’s going on with you. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Of course,” Lucas said without hesitation. Because he could, he just wasn’t sure he was ready. He didn’t even know what he and Eliott were, if they were dating or what, and he didn’t know if Eliott wanted everyone to know about them. Yann waited for Lucas to continue, so he did, just maybe not with the words Yann wanted. “There’s nothing, though. I swear. I’ve just been a bit out of it, I guess.”

Yann looked determined to press the subject further, but Lucas was saved by their professor asking them to pair up to practice jinxes. As much as Lucas wanted to pair up with Eliott, it would be odd for him to ditch Yann, so he watched helplessly as Eliott and Ian, another Ravenclaw in their year, moved to the other side of the room to practice. Yann followed his gaze.

“Did Arthur tell you that Eliott pulled another disappearing act?” Yann asked as they got in position. Ah, there it was. Frankly, he had been beginning to worry they hadn’t noticed. Lucas fired off a jinx, which Yann blocked with ease.

“No, he didn’t.” Lucas tried to sound uninterested, hoping Yann wouldn’t draw the connection between his and Eliott’s disappearances.

Yann sent a jinx Lucas’ way, just barely missing him and hitting the chair behind him. “Yeah, no one heard from him this weekend either. Did you?”

“Hmm?” Lucas asked. “Did I what?”

“Hear from him?” Yann prompted incredulously.

Maybe if he played dumb Yann would stop talking about Eliott. “Hear from who?”

“Eliott?”

“What about Eliott?”

“Dude, have you been listening? He was missing all weekend, even at the Quidditch match.”

“Huh, weird.”

“So you didn’t hear from him then?”

“Hear what?”

“Where he went?”

“Who?”

“Jesus, Lucas,” Yann nearly yelled in exasperation. This gave Lucas a great opening to hit him with a Jellylegs jinx, one that he’d perfected nonverbally. “Fuck!” Yann exclaimed as Lucas grinned victoriously.

“Sorry,” Lucas shrugged, not sorry at all.

“You little shit, that’s why you were acting so dumb,” Yann laughed, “You were trying to distract me, huh?”

Lucas looked around the room innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Yann smiled at him and it was like everything was normal again, like it had been before Eliott had come in and turned Lucas’ life upside down. He never wanted Eliott out of his life, but it was nice for that moment to remember how to be friends with Yann without feeling the weight of things he was hiding from his best friend. The weight came back a moment later, of course, but Lucas ignored it to the best of his ability, focusing instead on blocking Yann and sending more jinxes his way.

A half hour later, when they left the Charms room, Lucas felt Eliott slip past him and put something in his hand as he passed by. Smooth fucker.

“What’s that?” Yann asked, and Lucas’ hand clenched on the small piece of paper he held until he realized Yann was looking curiously at his neck, right behind his ear. His other hand flew up to the area, hoping Eliott hadn’t left any visible marks there. Yann blinked a few times and then shrugged. “That was weird, I could have sworn there was a hedgehog…”

Lucas nearly breathed a sigh of relief. He’d forgotten about Eliott’s magical drawings. He didn’t know what Eliott had used to draw them on, but they avoided him every time he tried to wash them off, moving across his body whenever he got close. With his luck they’d be there forever, not that he minded. Lucas laughed and raised his eyebrows. “And I’m the one being weird?”

Yann rolled his eyes and waved him off. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever, I’ve gotta get to Muggle Studies. See you at lunch?”

“See you at lunch,” Lucas repeated before heading off in the opposite direction, waiting until Yann was out of sight before unfolding the piece of paper in his hand. It was a two part drawing, the right side showing a raccoon alone in a bathroom, the left side showing a raccoon and hedgehog holding hands together in the bathroom. Lucas almost scoffed at how small the hedgehog was-- he really wasn’t that small-- but was more overcome by appreciation for Eliott. On the back of the paper Eliott’s unique and untidy scrawl had written out ‘Lucas no. 1040 skips potions with Eliott no. 1432’.

Would Imane kill him? Yes, undoubtedly. Did he care, in that moment? Not one bit.

But where did Eliott want to meet him? He flipped the paper back over to look at the drawing, grin spreading over his face as he realized where to go.

As predicted, Eliott was leaning against one of the sinks casually as Lucas entered the bathroom Eliott had followed him into weeks prior. Eliott was smoking a cigarette, changing its smell with his wand every second or so. “Fancy meeting you here,” he said, blowing out smoke.

Lucas took his first few steps slow, then, unable to help himself, closed the rest of the distance between the two of them in a few long strides, smile so wide he thought his face might crack. Eliott cupped his face the instant they met, bringing their lips together in a heartstopping kiss.

Lucas wrapped his arms around Eliott’s neck, rising up on his toes to reach Eliott better. Eliott, ever the quick thinker, flipped them so Lucas was pressed against the sinks and lifted him up onto the countertop, positioning himself between Lucas’ legs. “This works,” Lucas murmured against Eliott’s lips, pressing their foreheads together.

“You know,” Eliott began, playing with Lucas’ tie, “This looks really great on you, but it’s getting in the way, don’t you think?”

“Funny, I was about to say the same thing.”

Eliott grinned and undid his own tie, leaving Lucas to do the same, discarding his robes and jumper as well. Naturally, this was the one day they both decided to wear full uniforms. Eliott unbuttoned a few of the top buttons on Lucas’ shirt as well, placing his palm against Lucas’ chest before leaving a trail of kisses from his neck to his heart. Lucas was barely breathing, breathing in gasps, one hand clenched in Eliott’s hair, the other gripping the sink beside him.

He lowered his head and brought Eliott’s face to his, letting their mouths meet once more. Nothing would ever compare to this feeling, to the taste of Eliott’s lips, his tongue, his everything. If it wasn’t a completely reckless and terrible idea to strip down right then and there, where anyone could walk in, Lucas would have in an instant.

Blinking at the thought, Lucas pulled back, muttering as Eliott moved his mouth back down to Lucas’ collarbone. “Eliott, Eliott, stop for a minute.”

Eliott stopped immediately, looking at Lucas with the expression of a confused puppy. It was adorable, but Lucas didn’t have time to appreciate it fully. He pointed to the door. “We should… I don’t know. Anyone could walk in.”

Eliott’s brows creased further. “Didn’t you see the out of order sign I put on the door?”

He hadn’t paid attention to much of anything as he’d hurried to the bathroom, tunnel vision on Eliott, even from corridors away. “Um… no,” he admitted.

“Well, I put one there,” Eliott laughed.

“Do you really think it will work?”

“Let’s find out.” He pulled Lucas in by the neck and crashed their lips together. Any worries Lucas had were immediately obliterated from his mind. Eliott’s out of order sign was sure to do the trick. Eliott unbuttoned Lucas’ shirt a bit further, sliding the sleeves off his shoulders so he could kiss them. As he did so, Lucas repeated the gesture, leaving a kiss on Eliott’s chest with each button he undid.

Eliott let out a soft gasp. “You’re gonna fucking kill me if you keep doing that.”

“Do you want me to stop?” Lucas’ lips twisted into a cocky smirk.

“No. Not now, not ever.” Lucas grinned as Eliott brought Lucas’ face up to his, exploring each others mouths like there was nothing else in the world left to explore. To Lucas, there wasn’t. Except perhaps the rest of Eliott’s body, the few lines and muscles he had left to commit to memory. Eliott’s hand brushed his cheekbone and Eliott pulled away from him just enough to exhale a small, breathy laugh.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” Lucas teased.

Eliott laughed a bit harder. “Yes, actually.”

Lucas spun around from his seat on the countertop, glancing into the mirror. “Wait, really?” He studied his reflection, catching a glimpse of a raccoon taking the hand of a hedgehog and pulling him out of view. Lucas couldn’t help but laugh himself.

“These little guys are never going away, I hope you know what you’ve done,” Lucas said seriously. Eliott leaned down to brush his lips against Lucas’ shoulder, the hedgehog resting there blushing as he did so.

He tilted his head back up, supermodel eyes full of humor and searing into Lucas. “You think I didn’t do that on purpose? You’ll be old and wrinkled and gray and these two will pop up on your bald head when you least expect it.”

“Bold of you to assume I’ll ever go bald,” Lucas scoffed.

“I mean, with all that hairspray…”

“Shut up!” Lucas pressed his hands to Eliott’s chest. “Besides, you told Yann you liked it.”

“I mostly just like you,” Eliott confessed. “Everything about you.”

Lucas blushed against his will. Eliott really needed to stop feeding his ego. At the same time, he hoped Eliott would never stop. “Wait a minute,” he giggled, “Your amortentia… the last thing was my hairspray wasn’t it?”

Now it was Eliott’s turn to go red. “No.”

Lucas laughed harder. “It so was.”

“I don’t know where you’d get that preposterous idea.”

“Mmmm, sure.”

Eliott looked down with a smile, glancing back up at Lucas through his eyelashes. “Besides, you with your cigarette smoke, ink, paint, rain… not very subtle.” Lucas pretended to be offended, hands dancing up and down Eliott’s mostly bare chest.

“So what, I had a crush on you. Turned out all right for me, didn’t it?”

“Awww, you had a crush on me? That’s so sweet.” Eliott’s eyes crinkled at the sides the way Lucas loved.

He shoved Eliott away playfully. “Oh shut up, you had a crush on me too.”

Eliott grabbed onto Lucas’ hand, and Lucas pulled him back in close. “You’re right,” Eliott admitted, “You’re just either the world’s most oblivious person, or I need to up my flirting game.”

“I’m not oblivious,” Lucas huffed.

“Then why did I have to wait four whole weeks to kiss you?” Eliott wasn’t whining exactly, but there was a neediness to his playful tone that Lucas was getting very turned on by, if he was being completely honest with himself.

“Maybe you were the oblivious one,” Lucas suggested. Eliott wrinkled his nose, shaking his head. “Me? Oblivious? Never.”

The look he gave Lucas reminded him of Ouba’s face when she wanted treats, and it was more endearing than Lucas cared to admit. “Fine, fine, we’re both oblivious, useless, disaster gays, blah blah blah.”

“I’m pan, technically,” Eliott pointed out.

“Oh, just shut up and kiss me.”

Eliott didn’t wait a single second longer, kissing Lucas again. And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Lucas wasn’t entirely sure how long they sat there, him on the counter, Eliott between his legs, kissing like the world was about to end. They only stopped when Lucas’ phone buzzed, jarring them back to the present. He was stunned to find that he had multiple messages from his friends through Instagram.

monvoisintuturo: Lulu, at least give a heads up if you’re going to skip potions

basile_simple: He’s missing again? We need to put a bell on him or something

y4z4s: What are you guys talking about? I saw him going to class after Charms

monvoisintuturo: Well he clearly didn’t make it…

y4z4s: Should we still wait for you for lunch, Lucas?

monvoisintuturo: I wonder if Eliott knows where he is

basile_simple: Oh yeah, man, add Eliott to the chat

monvoisintuturo: I can’t, he doesn’t follow me. Only Lulu can

basile_simple: I’m still confused by that

y4z4s: By what?

basile_simple: Eliott following Lucas!

y4z4s: Oh, Lucas said it was some sort of bet or something

basile_simple: That’s anticlimactic   

Lucas checked the time quickly and realized lunch was about to start. Fuck, he really needed to go. Had he and Eliott really spent the entire period kissing in the not-so out of order bathroom? It wasn’t the worst way to spend his time, he supposed.

He started buttoning his shirt back up in a rush, catching Eliott’s confused gaze as he hopped down from the counter. Shirt, jumper, robes, tie, fuck, where were all his clothes?

“Lunch,” he said by way of explanation.

Eliott still looked confused. “And…”

“The boys will kill me if I go MIA again. I’m sure Imane is about ready to kill me already.” He shivered at the thought, hoping Imane and Harriet had at least been able to vent to one another about their respective potions partners.

Finally dressed, he rushed to the door, turning around when he realized Eliott wasn’t following, hadn’t even redressed himself yet. “Are you coming?”

Eliott blushed a violent shade of scarlet. “I have to take care of something.”

“What-- oh,” Lucas began, faltering when he saw the awkward way Eliott was positioned. He laughed a little bit and Eliott rolled his eyes. “Unless you want to take care of it for me?” Eliott suggested, and it was Lucas’ turn to blush. In truth, he did want that, more than anything, but he also wanted to live long enough to do it again, so he really had to go.

“See you in the Great Hall,” Lucas said a bit breathlessly. Eliott smirked, knowing exactly what he was doing to Lucas.

“See you in the Great Hall.” Eliott didn’t move, gaze still fastened onto Lucas’ face. Lucas didn’t move an inch either, wishing to stay in the bathroom with Eliott for just one more second. His phone buzzed again, and they broke eye contact.

“I’m going to go now,” Lucas said, unconvincingly, but he willed his feet to carry him the rest of the way to the door and they did. He cast one more glance back at Eliott, memorizing the way he smiled back at Lucas, tucking the memory away to think of when they inevitably had to part for the day.

Before he could lose all his self control and run back into Eliott’s embrace, Lucas pushed the door open, tearing away the out of order sign as he did so, throwing it into a bin as he rushed to the Great Hall.

Luckily or unluckily for him, all his friends were already seated when he walked in. Eliott and Daphne’s seating arrangement protest had been embraced by nearly the entire school, though both the girls and the boys were sitting together at the Gryffindor table today. Arthur was the first to notice him walk in, scooting over so Lucas could take a seat between himself and Manon.

Imane wasn’t glaring daggers at him as he approached, but analyzing him carefully through narrowed eyes. Her stare was so intense that he couldn’t meet her eyes, feeling a bit like she was drawing some conclusions about him that he wasn’t sure he wanted her to draw. Thankfully, she didn’t say anything, just kept staring.

He tried to act casual as he sat down, but he couldn’t help but notice everyone had stopped talking, eyes on him. Manon was the first to speak, bless her, not even mentioning his lateness or anything out of the ordinary. “So, Lucas, did you hear about the--”

She was cut off by Daphne, who smiled at Lucas apologetically. “You know that the opposite house dress week isn’t until next week, right?”

Lucas furrowed his brows. He did know this, why was she bringing it up? He nodded slowly, carefully.

“Oh, cool, well then, um,” she continued, glancing briefly at Emma out of the corner of her eye, “Why are you wearing a Ravenclaw tie?”

Putain.

He tried not to look down at his tie-- or, Eliott’s, rather-- as he floundered for an excuse. “Obviously I know that your dress thingy isn’t until next week. But I thought, hey, what if some people don’t know about it yet? If I wear the wrong tie, people will ask questions, and if they ask questions, I’ll get to explain to them the inter-house unity club dress challenge, or whatever you want to call it. That way more people will participate.”

Daphne squealed and leaned over to him, pulling him into an awkward hug over the table. “Lucas! You’re the best! Why didn’t I think of doing that?”

Everyone else seemed less enthusiastic about his response. Manon and Imane exchanged a glance,-- he didn’t even want to know what that meant, though he could probably guess-- Emma narrowed her eyes once before shrugging and accepting his excuse without argument, Basile and Alexia simply looked confused, Yann looked like he wanted to believe him, and Arthur seemed to be moments away from solving a puzzle. Lucas hoped Arthur’s puzzle wasn’t close to the real reason he was wearing the wrong tie. Eliott’s tie.

Fuck, Eliott would be there any minute. Lucas had to find a way to head him off before he could make the situation worse. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to message Eliott, thankful his friends had mostly gone back to their own conversations.

lucallemant: Don’t come to the Great Hall

srodulv: i’m almost there… what’s wrong?

lucallemant: Look at your tie   

Lucas bounced his knee under the table as he waited for Eliott to respond. Just their luck. He wasn’t totally opposed to the idea of telling his friends about them, but they didn’t even know he was gay. Plus, this wasn’t the most ideal setting, and he didn’t know what to call his relationship with Eliott, if he could even call it a relationship. In all their talking, somehow it hadn’t come up.

“Where did you get the tie?” Arthur asked, and Lucas bumped his knee under the table in surprise, flipping his phone over.

“I, uh, found it,” he mumbled distractedly, trying to appear nonchalant.

Clearly, neither Yann nor Arthur were convinced. Yann pointed out, “You were wearing your Gryffindor tie when you left Charms.”

“Yeah, where did you go, anyway? Imane looked ready to kill when you didn’t show up,” Arthur chimed back in.

“I felt… sick,” Lucas tried. The boys raised their eyebrows.

“Sick?” Arthur repeated slowly. Lucas nodded.

“I think something didn’t sit right with me during breakfast, and, you know.” He shot them all a meaningful glance. Arthur choked on his food and looked Lucas up and down once.

“Dude did you shit your pants?”

“What? No!” Lucas exclaimed incredulously, breaking into nervous laughter. “But you can see why I skipped potions, then.”

Arthur snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Do what you gotta do, man. Although, it would have been funny to see Rigaux’s reaction if you shit yourself in her class.”

Lucas couldn’t help but laugh along with his friends, shoving Arthur playfully. This explanation seemed to do it for them, though, and Lucas took their new distraction with Basile’s weird eating habits as an excuse to check his phone. He had three new messages from Eliott.

srodulv: merde

srodulv: i’m guessing our friends noticed?

srodulv: what did you say?  

It warmed his heart a bit, to see Eliott say ‘our friends’ instead of ‘your friends’. He was glad that Eliott considered the girls and boys to be his friends as well. He knew they felt the same about Eliott.

lucallemant: I made up some bs excuse about helping raise inter house unity club awareness. Not sure if everyone bought it, but they let the subject drop

srodulv: oh

srodulv: not that now is the best time to… explain things, but do you not want your friends to know about us?

Lucas noted the shift from our to your. Did Eliott really think Lucas would be ashamed of him? It was too absurd to even consider.

lucallemant: No, it’s not that, I just didn’t know if you did

lucallemant: Plus none of them know I’m, you know…

srodulv: gay?

lucallemant: Ha ha, yeah, that

srodulv: no rush or anything, i don’t want you to feel pressured…

Lucas chewed on his bottom lip. He didn’t feel pressured at all, and maybe that’s why he made a split second decision.

lucallemant: I think I want them to know

srodulv: really?

lucallemant: I mean, maybe not today, but soon. This weekend…?

srodulv: :)

lucallemant: Yeah?

srodulv: yeah. does this mean i get to call you my boyfriend?

Lucas had to try very, very, hard to keep from reacting in the slightest, but he was almost positive a bright blush had spread over his face. Boyfriend. That was new, but Lucas found that he quite liked it.

lucallemant: Boyfriend, huh?

srodulv: …?

lucallemant: I think I’d like that, mon mec

srodulv: yeah?

lucallemant: Yeah.

srodulv: <3

lucallemant: Stop that, I have a reputation to uphold

srodulv: <333333

Lucas rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the smile working its way over his face. Eliott would be the death of him. Manon nudged his side gently. “You good?” Her face looked more concerned than a smile usually warranted. Did he really smile so little that this sign of happiness made her wary?

“I’m great,” he answered truthfully, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

Her brows twitched. “Ouais?”

He nearly laughed. He’d gotten so used to only speaking French with Eliott that he’d nearly forgotten it was his and Manon’s thing first. “Ouais,” he assured her.

Lucas tried to turn his attention back to his other friends, avoiding the small smile that twitched at the corner of Manon’s mouth, basically confirming she knew more than she was letting on. “Justin Bieber? Seriously? Where is this kid, I need to have a word with him about his music taste,” Arthur was ranting.

“What?” Lucas asked. Yann showed Lucas his phone screen and Lucas nearly choked in surprise.

That was how they were playing this, then? Lucas tuned out the rest of the conversation, searching for a different song. They really were going to be the most annoying couple ever, even if no one knew it yet. Lucas really couldn’t find it in himself to care one bit, because Eliott was his boyfriend. Eliott Demaury. His boyfriend. God, he was so happy.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

AO3

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[lordofassgard]

Play Pretend {Part 1}

Requested: | yes | no |

Pairing: Mark Tuan x Reader

Summary: you messed around with him and you were okay with it...until you weren’t

Genre: non idol!au, tattoo artist!au, angst

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, cheating, cursing, mentions of sex

Word Count: 4.6k+

A/N: so happy birthday to my boy Mark...this was so fun to write although a little stressful for some reason. hope you enjoy :)

masterlist in bio

gif credit to demongyeom

part 1 || part 2 || part 3 find part 2 and 3 in my masterlist

There were a lot of first times in life, first steps, first day of school, first kiss, first party, first heartbreak, first tattoo and so on. And while most of these had happened rather messily in your life, you didn’t want it to happen that way when it came to your first tattoo.

So after a lot of research, you found a good tattoo parlor not too far from your house and set up an appointment. You knew exactly what you wanted to get, you had known since you were sixteen, since you learned that flowers had meanings and what your favorite flower meant. White lilies were always around your apartment in pretty vases that matched the decoration of your house. White lilies were always around your grandma’s flower shop where you worked at. White lilies were there whenever you lost a loved one and they seemed to brighten up the room when everyone was dressed in black.

The tattoo parlor you found, had good reviews so you were quick to set up an appointment. Three days later, you walked into the parlor feeling nervous. At the reception was a boy a few years younger than you with bleached hair and skin covered in tattoos. His somehow intimidating aura quickly disappeared once he smiled politely at you. When you told him your name, he typed it on the computer before looking back at you.

“You’re with Mark. Hold on a second, I’m gonna call him over.”

The white-haired boy turned around a disappeared behind a door that led to a hallway. But before that, you noticed a tattoo on the back of his neck, Bambam, maybe that was his name.

While he was gone, you took a look around the shop. The walls were white but all the chairs and frames on the wall with previous tattoos were black. You looked closely at the pictures framed on the walls, the tattoos had different styles but all of them looked so good that you wished you would get whoever did your favorites. Like the small dragon on someone’s shoulder blade or the ivy on a woman’s thigh.

The door opened and you turned back around. Behind Bambam, you assumed, was another boy this one around your age. He was also covered in tattoos that disappeared into the pushed up sleeves of his black sweater and into its neckline. His light brown hair was parted in the middle, making him look extremely attractive yet somehow intimidating. He seemed like he was frowning and it also made you want to take a step back. But that bad boy aura went away as soon as he set his eyes on you. He smiled politely turning his eyes into two small crescent moons. His canines were sharp but his smile made him look even softer.

For some reason, your heart sped up when he smiled and all you could think was about how cute Mark was. The contrast between that bad boy aura that you’ve always had a thing for and the softness had you hooked right there.

“Hi, I’m Mark.” He introduced himself.

“I’m (Y/N)” You smiled back at him.

You followed Mark into the same place you had seen Bambam leave before and then you went into the second door on the left, his studio.

“Do you have any design in mind?” Mark asked after he closed the door.

“Yes, I want a white lily on my wrist.”

You told him how big you wanted your tattoo to be and some details and he listened attentively nodding a few times.

“Okay, I’ll draw it in a bit. You can have a seat.” Mark gestured towards the black chair where you’d have to sit while he tattooed you.

He grabbed his sketchbook and a pencil before he started drawing. He was really focused, his tongue poking out in between his teeth and his eyebrows furrowed slightly. Even his little frown looked adorable, like the type of frown you'd like to kiss away. He really looked adorable.

At some point, he noticed your gaze and you quickly looked down at your hands on your lap and prayed that he didn't see you blush. But you knew he did when you heard a little giggle. Yet, you didn't see him smile and blush.

When he was done with his drawing, he showed it to you.

“What do you think?”

You gasped, it was exactly how you pictured it.

“I like it.” You smiled at him.

After everything was set up, Mark finally started your tattoo. As soon as the needle made contact with your skin, you winced.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine just please talk to me to distract me.”

“Okay…” He thought for a second, his eyes never leaving your wrist “Why are you getting this tattoo?”

“Oh, I work at my grandma’s flower shop. I’ve always loved flowers and lately, I’ve been studying their meanings.”

“So, what does a lily mean?”

“Innocence and purity.” He was quiet for a bit before you realized what it seemed “Oh, no it’s not about virginity or anything.” You chuckled “I’ve always admired children’s innocence and it’s a shame that most of us lose it while growing up. I don't want to lose mine.”

“Like that never-ending curiosity they have?”

“Yeah. And the way they face reality, it’s way better than adults do.” You explained.

“That’s...pretty cool.”

“Thanks!” You smiled.

Conversation flowed easily between you, it was like the two of you had known each other for years. Throughout the entire time you sat in that chair, your heartbeat was faster than normal and you were sure it wasn’t because of the pain. Time flew by too quickly, the frown evident in your face when Mark claimed he was done.

He carefully rubbed some ointment on your arm and bandaged it as he gave you all the instructions for you to take care of your tattoo in order to prevent infections. You listened attentively and nodded a few times.

After you grabbed your stuff, the two of you went back to the front desk, still chatting and laughing lightly. Bambam looked between you and Mark with raised eyebrows and a small smirk playing on his lips. You paid for your tattoo your eyes lingering on Mark a little longer than they would in any other situation as if you were waiting for him to say something else, maybe ask for your number. Instead, he sent you off with a small wave.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t disappointed, but you told yourself to get over it. It was stupid, you didn’t know each other, he only tattooed your arm. He was just being polite to a client. Your crush, if you could even call it that, was pointless. You probably weren’t even his type.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・

A few days later, on a Friday night, your best friend invited you to go to a club that she heard good things about. So you put on your little black dress along with your black stilettos and did your hair and makeup. As you glanced at the mirror before you left your apartment, you smiled feeling good about your appearance.

The loud music from the club almost made you go deaf when you walked in but your best friend seemed really excited so you went along with it. She had been through a bad breakup and she needed that night out, it was the least you could do. Not long after that, you lost her in the crowd. It took you a while to find her but when you did she had a stranger’s tongue down her throat. That was fast, you thought.

Since you were alone for the rest of the night, you pushed your way through the crowd towards the bar and sat down. You ordered a Martini and made yourself comfortable in your seat. After a few minutes, you ordered another Martini. Once you were halfway through your second one, someone tapped you on the shoulder.

“Is this seat taken?” You turned around, your eyes widening when you saw Mark

.

His expression mirrored yours and he let out a small laugh.

“No, not at all.” You shook your head as you watched him take a seat next to you.

“How have you been?” He asked.

“Good how about you?” You smiled.

“Me too.”

He turned to the bartender to order his drink, and while he did that you took a look at him. His torso was clad in a thin black t-shirt covered by a black leather jacket, black skinny jeans clung to his legs and were tucked into black ankle boots. His chest was exposed showing off some tattoos you hadn’t seen before and you almost shifted in your seat to get a better view of them. When you were about to do so, the bartender handed him his drink and he turned to you.

“To unexpected encounters.” Mark raised his glass.

“To unexpected encounters.” You repeated and clinked your own glass against his before taking a sip.

Silence fell upon the two of you, as much silence as there could be in a club blasting music. You twirled the pick with the olive around your cup while glancing at Mark out of the corner of your eye. He had his full body turned towards you as he watched you as if he was trying to see through you.

“Why are you out here alone?” He asked.

You lifted your head, dropping the pick making it clink against the glass.

“I came here with a friend. Last time I saw her she was…” You hesitated, trying to find the right words to say “Enjoying herself.”

He laughed, understanding what you meant.

“What about you?”

“I felt like I needed to go out.” He shrugged.

“What about your friends?”

“They all had plans.”

“Well, then…” You smiled “I’m glad we found each other.”

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・

Maybe it was too many margaritas mixed with your attraction towards the tattoo artist, maybe it was something else that made you end up at Mark’s apartment pressed against the front door as he trailed kisses down your neck leaving marks behind as one of his hands worked to unzip your dress. And when you woke up with a pounding headache wrapped in soft sheets with an arm around your waist, you smiled despite the dizziness, whatever it was it got you exactly where you wanted to be.

You got up carefully not to wake Mark up and grabbed the first piece of clothing you found on the floor, which happened to be Mark’s shirt. After putting it on, you tried to find your underwear before leaving the bedroom to find the bathroom. When you were washing your face, you noticed two toothbrushes on the sink, maybe he had a roommate. You left the bathroom and walked towards the kitchen but on the way there you stopped in your tracks when you noticed something that made your stomach drop.

Once you randomly peeked into the living room, you noticed frames on the wall. In one of the pictures Mark had his arms around a girl, on another, he was kissing her. And that’s when it hit you, Mark had a girlfriend.

You found yourself unable to move, it was like your eyes were glued to the pictures and your feet stuck to the ground as your heart beat loudly in your chest and tears welled up in the corners of your eyes. You didn't even move when Mark woke up and decided to find you.

“Morning.” He wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his head on the crook of your neck.

Once you registered what was happening, you aggressively pushed yourself away from him like his touch burned you. Mark looked at you, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. In any other situation, you would’ve cooed at how adorable he looked confused with his hair sticking in every direction. Yet, in that moment you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

“You have a girlfriend?” His eyes immediately went to the pictures you had seen and he sighed.

“I-I can explain…”

“Is there anything to explain? Fucking hell Mark, you have a girlfriend and you brought another girl home!” You raised your voice, despite your headache almost yelling at you to shut up “I-I have to get out of here.”

You pushed past him towards the bedroom and managed to get dressed as quick as it probably was for him to undress you. Mark was standing in the doorway trying to get you to calm down as you paced around trying to find your left shoe.

“(Y/N), please…” He pleaded.

“Don’t...please don’t.” You cut him off.

With a sigh, Mark bent down to pick up your missing shoe that was by his feet. It was surprising how you didn’t notice it, maybe because you looked everywhere but his direction.

You left his apartment barefoot and with messy hair, holding your shoes and your clutch close to your chest as if they were the only thing you had left. In a way, they were, because you had lost your dignity as soon as you stepped into Mark’s apartment.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・

“Hey, are you okay?” You best friend snapped her fingers in front of your face, bringing you back to reality “You’ve been kinda weird lately.” She frowned.

You sighed debating or not if you should tell her or not.

“I-I slept with a guy…” You paused, yet she thought you were done.

“That’s great (Y/N)!” She exclaimed “Then why are you sad? Was the dick that good that you miss it?” She joked.

“He had a girlfriend.”

“What?” She raised her voice and you immediately shushed her once you noticed people at the coffee shop where you two were, staring “You what?” She hissed.

“I didn’t know. I only found out the next morning. Like I know it’s not my fault but...fuck it feels like it.”

“When was that?”

“Two weeks ago.”

She sighed, unsure of what to say. If you were in her shoes, you wouldn’t know how to react either.

“I-I honestly don’t know what to say (Y/N)...”

“I know…” You sighed and rubbed your eyes “I’ll get over it eventually.”

“Want me to come over tonight?” She offered “I’ll bring ice cream.”

“No, thanks. I’m just going to sleep.”

You parted ways not long after that. On the way home, you stopped to get some food not in the mood to cook before you went back to your apartment. Your apartment was dark and cold when you walked in making you shiver. After turning on the air conditioner, you ate some of the food you bought before changing into your pajamas. Your phone rang on the kitchen table making you almost run from your room to get it. It was an unknown number and you frowned before picking up.

“Hello?”

“(Y/N)?”

Your eyes widened when you recognized the voice.

“Mark? How did you get this number?”

“I-I took it from the shop’s client book, I’m sorry but I just really needed to talk to you.”

You quietly bit your lower lip debating on what to say.

“(Y/N)?”

“You have a minute.”

“Can’t we just do this face to face? I don’t want to do this on the phone…”

As much as you hated to admit it, he was right. Things like that were too important to speak over the phone.

“Okay.” You paused “I’ll text you the address.”

You didn't wait for his answer and hung up before texting him your address and a time. Was it a bad idea to have him over at your apartment? Yes. But it was worse being seen with him or going back to his apartment. You didn't have many choices.

The next day, Mark was at your apartment at 4 pm, like you told him to. He walked in quietly, left his shoes by the door and followed you into the kitchen. He refused anything to drink or to eat and he started talking when you sat down at the kitchen table in front of him.

“It’s true that I have a girlfriend.” He started “But...it doesn’t feel like a relationship anymore. She’s out of town a lot and when she’s home she never wants to do anything with me. I’m not even sure if I’m in love with her anymore.”

“I’m no relationship expert but you should break up with her then.”

“It’s not that easy…” He shook his head “We’ve been dating for so long that I don’t know what it feels like to live without her anymore.”

You learn, you thought, you put on your big boy pants and you learn. Yet you stayed silent as he kept speaking.

“I...I didn’t use you if that’s what you think.” He sighed defeated “You weren’t just someone I brought home. I really felt a connection with you.”

Your eyes snapped up to his, trying to find any traces of his statement being a lie. But why weren’t you disappointed when you found none? Why did your heart beat faster? Why did it feel good?

“You don't owe me an explanation on why you cheated on your girlfriend Mark, you owe it to her. It’s a fucked up situation, yes, but she’s the one that needs to hear all of this. Not me.”

He didn't say anything, letting your words sink in. You were right and he knew it. He didn't even have to tell you anything, the world would still turn if he never called you. A half-assed apology was pointless and he knew it. But for some reason, he felt like he should tell you that.

“I should go.” He suddenly got up, the loud noise the chair made startling you.

“I’ll walk you out.” You got up and followed him to the front door.

He opened the door and turned around, probably to say something before leaving. What he didn’t realize was that you were hot on his trail and when he turned around he got close to you, too close. Yet, no one did an effort to move back or push the other one way. You stood there, so close that you could feel his breath fanning your face, his eyes moving between your own and your lips. Surprisingly enough, you were the one who kissed him. This time there was no alcohol involved. You had a taste and you wanted more.

He kissed back and you heard him kick the door close. Mark’s hands quickly found your hips and pressed you against the wall, his lips never leaving yours. After a few minutes of making out, he reluctantly pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours.

“Are you sure?” You nodded before your lips started sucking on his neck making him whimper.

You were sure. You had never been so sure of anything. You didn’t want more, you craved more.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・

He started coming over more often after that day. It was sort of an unspoken thing between the two of you. He texted you asking if you were available and you’d give him an hour that he could come over. He’d arrive, no words were spoken, just your lips on his as he guided you to your bedroom. Sometimes you didn't even make it there.

Sometimes he stayed the night, sometimes he didn’t. When he did, you’d wake up in the morning to breakfast in bed that was shared in between kisses as you traced the tattoos on the back of a half-asleep Mark.

Every once in a while he’d bring his sketchbook claiming that being at your place calmed him down enough for him to draw whatever he liked. When he did, you’d sit next to him with a book in your hands keeping him company. Once, as joke, you asked him to draw you like one of his French girls and he laughed so hard that he choked on air. That night ended with his sketchbook long forgotten on the coffee table as Mark left a trail of hickeys on your inner thighs.

Sometimes he came over to your place right after work, his eyes half closed as he leaned against your doorframe waiting for you to open the door for him. When that happened, he fell asleep before anything happened so you let him be, made sure he was warm and slept next to him.

But the worst was when he didn’t come over at all. Those were usually the times when his girlfriend was in town. Sometimes he didn’t come over because the two of you fought. The fights were always about the same thing, his girlfriend. He didn’t want to leave her despite not loving her anymore. It felt wrong to see him behind her back but it was like a drug. You lived off the adrenaline of keeping a secret, of toying with something, someone that wasn't yours to toy with. And in those times where he’d be out the door before you were even out of bed when you were reminded that he still had a girlfriend to go back to, you would promise yourself that you’d break things off. Yet, you’d never do it too caught up on the taste of his lips or on the outline of his tattoos. It was wrong, it was bad but you loved it. And the fact that you loved it so much, made you even worse than the entire situation itself.

During those times where he was gone, the marks on your body faded as well as the smell of his cologne faded from your sheets. You were left with nothing but the memory of Mark’s presence. And although your body had so much evidence of Mark being all over you, his had none. You wanted nothing more than to bite the angel on his shoulder or the bird on his collarbone as your hands roamed all over his body. He always pushed you away claiming that his girlfriend might see them. And in those moments the fact that you were a secret, the toy he shouldn’t be toying with, made you want to kick him out and cut him off your life once and for all.

Because those lingering touches after his eyes fluttered open at sunrise or the shy kisses during breakfast in bed or when he held onto you in his sleep had to be more than just...sex. Because the only times where he was affectionate towards you were when you weren’t having sex. It was weird, but when you confronted him about it, he’d always leave and then you wouldn’t see him for a couple of weeks. And in those weeks, you’d convince yourself that you were going to break things off. What you failed to know was that your brain stopped working properly whenever Mark was even mentioned. Because the next time he’d show up at your door, his lips would hungrily attack yours making you forget about everything in a heartbeat.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・

So when your best friend told you that she could set you up with someone she thought it was perfect for you, you agreed. It had been three weeks since you saw Mark, the last time he was over at your house, you fought and he left slamming the door behind him. It was the perfect time to finally leave Mark behind.

She introduced you to Yugyeom, a boy with a sparkle in his eyes and a blinding smile. He was a bit shy but probably one of the nicest people you had the pleasure to meet. Your friend was thrilled that the two of you got along so well and after she left, he shyly asked you out, looking up at you through the bangs over his eyes. You accepted and his smile got wider if that was even possible.

As you were pacing back and forth your apartment, getting ready for your date with Yugyeom, your phone vibrated on your nightstand. You picked it up with one hand as you put on your earrings with the other.

[Mark]: Can I come over tonight?

[You]: No, I have a date

You realized your words sounded harsh but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when you noticed you were running late. Putting on your shoes and grabbing your bag, you left the house as fast as you could, not bothering to check if you had forgotten anything.

Yugyeom was waiting for you in his car and you apologized for being late, slightly out of breath which he found adorable. He took you to a small diner downtown, that even played music from the 50’s. You shared a milkshake as the waitresses behind the counter cooed over how cute the two of you looked. He lent you his jacket when it got cold on the way back to the car. He drove you back to your apartment, the atmosphere in the car relaxed as the two of you chatted over the music on the radio. You found out a lot about him during that car ride. He was a dancer, but lately, he had been teaching kids. Yugyeom claimed that it was great seeing their satisfaction when they learned a new step, even though it was really wobbly and not in time with the music at all. You smiled at how sweet he was and without thinking leaned over and kissed his cheek. He leaned into his seat almost making himself look smaller making you giggle. Such a big man and yet he got flustered with a simple kiss. Kim Yugyeom really was something else.

He dropped you off at your apartment and only drove away when he made sure you were inside. In the car, he was bold enough to say goodbye to you with a kiss on the corner of your mouth despite that you could feel the heat rise to his cheeks. When you closed the door, you leaned into it smiling like you were sixteen all over again with your heart beating too fast in your chest.

You changed into your pajamas and right before you went to bed, you noticed you left your phone at home. It was in the exact same place you left it when you texted Mark before your date. You grabbed to see if you had any new messages and your breath hitched in your throat once your screen lit up.

[Mark]: Don't go. I love you

feedback is appreciated :) i’d link my ask box but tumblr is a dick

[flapperfromthefuture]

I’ve been experimenting with a couple of new ways to beat the winter blues—baking with such frenzy that I have to buy the 18 egg cartons and the person at the register asks me, “Big weekend plans?” every. single. time, and expanding my horizons with such gusto that I nearly got dropkicked by a jazz enthusiast.

Let me explain.

After watching a beautiful tombstone-grey sunset at 3:30 one October afternoon, I had the urge to bake because “You can’t stick your head in the oven if there’s other stuff in there.”

So I have been baking. Like, obsessively.

I’ve even gotten fancy. I made a povitica, the Aaron Burr of breads, with raspberry and then apricot jam (very sticky, but tasty). Then I wanted to try a savory challah, so I experimented with adding different amounts of cardamom and THEN za’atar.

I tried making challah with harissa because it seemed like a good idea at the time. It was super messy working the harissa into the dough and then braiding it before the whole loaf could fall apart, but the end result was delicious and made my kitchen smell like a spice market in the midst of somewhere warm that is not Michigan.

I made two Bienenstich, or bee sting cakes, which I hadn’t attempted since my brioche class. I managed not to overdo the topping this time! No almond-induced structural collapses here.

Then I made this gigantic cinnamon roll, which the recipe claimed was an Estonian Kringla, and since the best cinnamon roll I’ve ever had was in Estonia, I tried it out. And it was pretty good, but didn’t quite get me to pre-winter euphoria levels, aka enough energy to stay awake past mid-afternoon because it’s so dark outside.

My sister really wanted to make Halloween desserts together, which translated into me buying all the supplies and then baking everything myself while she lay on the floor.

She had just run a half-marathon . . . five days earlier.

I don’t like making Rice Krispie treats as they are a tactile nightmare. Everything you touch sticks to you forever and then continues to stick to you even after you die. I also gravely miscalculated how many marshmallows to buy (because weight and volume are different, apparently? School never covered that) and my mom will not let me live it down—anyone who stops by the house is asked, “Do you want something to drink? Or maybe some marshmallows? Elizabeth bought a thousand.”

Stella likes to say, “God knew you’d be too powerful if you were good at math.”

I don’t enjoy cooking as much as baking, but I made my yearly stab at sides for Thanksgiving. These harissa sweet potatoes looked beautiful but were a little too spicy for my weak-ass family.

(I also may have put in too much harissa. But it’s expensive and I wanted to use it all!).

A and I are officially in the throes of cabin fever, and when our beloved Midnight Madness rolled around, she decided that we needed to mix things up and elected to check out a jazz club downtown that we had never visited. Our friend Julia was with us and her mom was in town from the East Coast, so A thought we’d show them a sophisticated time . . . after visiting the holiday petting zoo, of course, and making a quick stop in the Himalayan Bazaar to see if the Yeti was around—he was not, because he never is, BUT I WILL SEE HIM NEXT YEAR SO HELP ME. 

Stella did not join us for Midnight Madness, electing instead to stay in and watch The Crown, which in hindsight, was too much of a gamble to take without supervision.

We swept into the jazz club with our heavy coats and dorky beanies and I immediately felt way too square to chill with the jazz cats. Everyone had sleek scarves and trendy eyewear and even the gorgeous modern light fixtures seemed to judge us as we sat at our table.

There was a lady wearing sunglasses inside. At night. In winter.

It was below freezing out. I thought, “Is this an awards show?”

I had only eaten roasted almonds and hot chocolate for dinner so I needed something revitalizing . . . or barring that, mozzarella sticks.

This jazz club did not have mozzarella sticks. Mozzarella sticks aren’t cool. They had charcuterie plates, pate, foie gras PB&J (why?), and charred baby octopus (WHY?), and everything was super expensive, but there was a jazz quintet onstage that seemed really legit, so I was excited to get some culture, even at the expense of mozzarella sticks.

A stared down at the menu like she could intimidate it into submission. She will eat anything, but draws the line at baby animals that have been set on fire.

“I don’t know what to get,” she said. “This never happens to me.”

“What are you guys ordering?” I asked Julia and her mom.

And then, out of nowhere, SLAM, a hand smacked our table loud enough to make me jump. An older man glared at me and said, “I’m not paying to hear you talk.”

He looked a lot like Santa, which made it even more distressing. I don’t want to get in trouble with Santa!

A is from Chicago and doesn’t take anyone’s shit (which is good for me, because to quote John Mulaney, “You could pour soup into my lap and I’d apologize to you“), so she looked Santa right in the eye and said, very calmly, “You don’t need to take that tone. We’ve never been here before and we’re trying to figure out what to order.”

Santa scowled and said, “Just be quiet.” Like we were children, which we are not. We patronize jazz clubs!

Just so we’re clear, A was the most well-behaved child who ever childed and practically showed up to preschool with a briefcase. No one has ever told her, “Just be quiet.” And I was so hyperfocused on craft kits and Legos that no one ever told me that either. In fact, adults scolded me to be less quiet because “You’re like a little ninja.”

“That wasn’t very Midwestern,” said Julia. “Don’t get the wrong idea, Mom. People in Ann Arbor are usually very chill.”

“He’s probably a boomer,” said Julia’s mom, who is a boomer herself, and incredibly cool.

We ordered our drinks and tried to enjoy the jazz.

Here’s the thing about jazz. People think they enjoy it, because music, right? Who doesn’t like music? Everyone loved La La Land, and there was jazz in that, right?

But what you don’t know about jazz, until you’re trapped in a jazz club with incinerated child octopi and furious boomers, is that the average jazz song is about fifteen minutes long. There’s the normal part, that sounds like a song and tells a story you can follow and enjoy, and then the improv starts. Every musician starts playing scales or hitting the drums in a way that should be exciting but really isn’t, and should build to something musically but really doesn’t, and then when they’re done the audience claps and the next person does the same thing, but it’s like listening to several minutes of joke set-ups with no punchlines. Over and over, until they just stop and then the next song starts.

“Are they going to do this for every song?” I thought about saying, but then did not, because I didn’t want to anger the man.

Instead, I checked my phone for a quick primer on jazz appreciation.

I still hadn’t eaten anything and A had declared that we wouldn’t be ordering any food so we could leave sooner . . . but not soon enough.

Other people were chatting and eating and enjoying the music, but I wasn’t doing any of those things.

A was glaring daggers into the back of Santa’s head.

Julia and her mom weren’t super into it either, to the point that Julia claimed that if she rushed the stage and pretended to be the next act by riffing on a triangle, no one would question it. Her mom was supportive of this, so it was time to go.

We said good-bye outside, relieved at finally being allowed to speak freely.

“That drum solo went on FOREVER,” said Julia.

“I thought the cymbal crash meant it was over but it just kept going!” said A.

“I really liked La La Land an hour ago and now I hate it,” I said.

So my journey to find something that will beat seasonal affective disorder back to whence it came continues. Will I go complicated and attempt to make my first panettone, which can take 24 HOURS to bake?

Or keep it simple and just get some mozzarella sticks?

          Baking vs. Jazz: Holiday Showdown I’ve been experimenting with a couple of new ways to beat the winter blues—baking with such frenzy that I have to buy the 18 egg cartons and the person at the register asks me, "Big weekend plans?" every.

[missnight0wl]

Shattered

Summary: Ben is going through the hardest times and Charlie is the best friend you can wish for.

Inspired by their lines during DADA classes.

Words: 1560

1988

After the events of year four, Ben Copper was shattered. The last days of school he spent hiding from his friends, although, he wasn’t sure if he could still call them that. He felt too ashamed of what he had done, too scared. He was especially avoiding her, one of few people who had shown him true kindness over the years. Luckily, she was in another House. It was way harder to escape from his roommate.

Ben was getting up very early in the morning when all the students were still asleep. He was leaving classrooms possibly quickly to wander around the castle by himself, just to not have to talk to anyone. Nobody actually tried, really, except for Charlie. He made an attempt to start a conversation a couple of times, but there was always someone to interrupt them. It changed only on the train back home. Ben was sitting in an empty compartment when suddenly the door opened.

“Can I join you?” asked Charlie. “Just for a moment,” he added quickly.

“I’d really rather not, to be honest…”

But he didn’t listen. He closed the door behind him and sat in front of Ben. He appeared very determined. And worried.

“Look, Benny,” he started calmly but firmly. “I want you to know that I don’t blame you for what happened in the Courtyard. I want to help you. If you’d like to talk with me…”

“I’m not ready,” interrupted Ben. “I’m sorry…”

“All right.” He looked at his friend in silence for a while, despite him avoiding any eye contact. “Just promise me,” he said finally, “that you let me know when you’re ready. Send me an owl, anything.”

Ben knew Charlie wouldn’t go otherwise, so he gave the nod. It wasn’t the most satisfying answer, but it had to do. The redhead was about to leave when he turned around one more time.

“She doesn’t blame you either, you know.”

Well, she probably should.

It didn’t get any easier during summer. It was unlikely that someone would want to make Ben hurt his parents, but there was a tiny possibility, and it was enough. Mr and Mrs Copper didn’t know what happened to their son, they didn’t know much about his school at all. Not because they didn’t care; Ben had simply decided it’s better that way. They were so happy when he got his letter from Hogwarts, especially his mum. How could he break their illusion of the magical world? How could he tell them that he was usually afraid of everything? That he almost killed someone because he was controlled by the dark force? No, there’s no need to worry them. They had gone through enough therapies already when he was a kid.

At the same time, his insomnia became a lot worse. He had gotten pretty good at pretending at home, but he was more and more tired, and it was hard to focus on anything. He was almost glad when it was time to go back to the platform nine and three-quarters. At least, he wouldn’t have to be troubled about parents anymore.  

It was Barnaby this time who found him and dragged him to the Hogwarts Express where they joined Penny, Tonks, Tulip, and Andre. Everybody tried to act normal, talking about their holidays, and while Ben appreciated it, he didn’t speak much himself. He wasn’t a very talkative person in general, so it probably didn’t seem odd. He even survived the Welcoming Feast somehow, and the first night. It wasn’t so well on the second…

For some reason, his anxiety came back with even more power. Not that he slept before, but now he was terrified of losing his consciousness even for a moment. He decided it’d be easier to stay awake if he sat on the floor; he didn’t want to be too comfortable. Just as he was looking into the darkness, a silent sob came out of him.

“Ben?” he heard Charlie’s whisper.

There was some rustle after that, and a moment later, Weasley appeared next to him, holding his lit wand.

“Bloody hell, I forgot to take my dragon slippers…” he muttered. “Can’t sleep too, mate?”

He sat next to him, curling his bare feet. It was just the beginning of September, but the floor was always rather cold in the castle.

“It’s going to be a pretty stressful year,” he continued in a low voice, not waiting for an answer. “I’m starting to understand Bill’s complaints.”

Ben smiled weakly. It must’ve been nice to have such insight from your sibling.

“Hey, I was thinking,” spoke Charlie. “Could you help me with that spell from today’s class? I don’t really get it.”

“Like now?” asked Ben surprised.

“No, not necessary,” he chuckled. “But maybe tomorrow?”

Ben nodded. Helping his friends with Charms was actually something he felt good about.

“Remember when I had problems with Engorio?” Charlie leaned on the frame of the bed, trying to find the right position. “We were practising the whole weekend…”

“On the sweets sent by my mum,” added Ben. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Y’know, now that I think about it, it had to be quite bad spells, after all, at least mine. That chocolate tasted awful.”

“Maybe it’s just not to your liking?”

“No way, I’ve eaten it in normal size too, and it’s delicious.” Just a memory of it brought a grin on his face. “I don’t know, maybe it works only on butterbeer.”

They both laughed. The snoring coming from Jae Kim’s side of the room stopped suddenly, so they hushed each other, but apparently, their roommate just turned on the other side. It was really hard to wake that one up.

“I’m sorry, Charlie. For what happened.”

“I’ve told you it’s fine. It wasn’t your fault.” He seemed genuine, there wasn’t the slightest sign of resentment in his voice. “Should we try to get some sleep?”

Ben agreed, only because he felt bad about Charlie staying up with him. The next day around midnight, however, he decided to evacuate to the Common Room instead, to not draw anyone’s attention. By some means, Gryffindor prefect followed shortly after him.

“Are you avoiding me again, Ben?”

“No,” he lied. “I just didn’t want to wake you…”

Charlie gave him a disapproving look but didn’t comment. He sat on the sofa in front of the fireplace, so Ben had no choice but to take place next to him. For someone as easy-going as Charlie, he could be surprisingly stubborn.

They were talking a lot that night, and the next ones as well. It became kind of their habit: when Ben couldn’t lie on the bed anymore, he was going down to the Common Room, and Charlie was joining him moments later. They didn’t really settle it, it just happened. At first, it was mostly Charlie who was carrying on the conversation. He shared his concerns about handling his responsibilities: being a prefect, playing Quidditch, and of course, studying for O.W.L.s. He admitted how worried he was that his future as a dragonologist, his biggest dream, depends on those exams. He tried to not talk about dragons themselves to not make his friend nervous. It turned out that Ben didn’t really know how to approach that big test ahead of them because he hadn’t figure out what to do after graduation – so they were wondering about it together. The next day, Ben joined the Astronomy Club.  

Shortly after the start of the year, Penny’s sister got trapped in the portrait. They both were anxious about this situation, and they wanted to help. Nevertheless, Charlie was trying to focus on more positive things during their little sessions. He was describing how it is to grow up in the wizarding family and how fun it could be. He told about their magical family clock, proving that everybody is trying to take control over their fears somehow and there’s nothing wrong about it.

He also asked Ben a lot about his muggle childhood. He listened very carefully so he could repeat it later to his father. They agreed to finally visit each other in summer.

One night, when Charlie was going down the stairs, he heard some voices. It was his older brother talking with Ben. Bill must’ve been studying to his N.E.W.T.s.

“I didn’t expect to see you here, Bill.”

“Wow, you look terrible, Charlie,” he greeted him lovingly. “Go back to bed.”

“No, I can stay with you two,” younger Weasley protested.

“Bill is right,” joined Ben, a bit more strongly than normal. “You need to rest.”

“McGonagall will be pissed off if we lose the next game,” pointed out the Head Boy.

Charlie wanted to say something on that, but Bill’s face told him there’s no point to argue. And he was in fact quite tired.

“Are you sure…?” he asked, for formality sakes.

“Yeah, I will take care of Benny.”

The following day Charlie was well-rested, but he also felt guilty. Going to bed, he promised himself that he wouldn’t leave Ben again. So when he woke up later than usual, he panicked. He jumped off his place and was about to leave when he noticed that Copper’s bed wasn’t empty. Ben was lying in there, and it looked like he was sleeping soundly.

Charlie smiled to himself. Maybe everything will work out eventually.

[likethetailofacomet]

The End is Here- Ch. 6- No Time to Pretend

AN ENDLESS SUMMER ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AU

This all started when @zaffrenotes sent me a prompt asking how Jake and Kara would meet in a zombie apocalypse au. So, thanks, D! Because now i’m obsessed with sweaty, bloody, dirty end of the world Jake and Kara. Ah, true love.

Warning: there will be violence, blood, death and adult relations in this series. this chapter has some smutty smut towards the end ;)

tagging: @ooo-barff-ooo @sleepwalkingelite @brightpinkpeppercorn @zaffrenotes @mind-reader1 @agent-bossypants @endlessly-searching-for-you @endlesstaylormckenzie @mysteli @indiacater @endlesshero1122 @endlessflame @akrenich @feartheendlesssummer @sophie-summer @beccasbadchoices @nekkidmolerat @cordoniantrash @choices-is-life @choiceslife @simmerbychoices @blackcatkita @edgydepressedchoicesthot 

tunes: for Jake and Kara- Beautiful Dream by George Ezra

What a beautiful dream I think I’ll stay a while Won’t open my resting eyes Caught off guard in between

Estela’s boots hit the ground first, her fingers curled tightly around the shaft of her shaolin spade as Sean, Craig and Michelle made their way down the rope behind her. Eyes wide and focus sharp, she scanned the area around them for movement, trying to assess the situation that they were in. A few creepers lay at their feet, Sean’s arrows sticking out of their heads and backs, empty eyes staring up at them from decaying faces missing noses and jaws and ears. A raspy breath from their left made Estela twirl around, spade ready as she lunged at the thing, the curved end of the spade decapitating the undead attacker like a hot knife through butter. It fell to the frozen ground with a hard thud as the rest of the group jumped down from the rope. One down, thought Estela, continuing to scan the area, three more creepers and five Traffickers to go.

Sean bent down keeping his eyes up as his hand curled around the arrow sticking out of the dispatched corpse at his feet, yanking it out with a squelchy sound. It came up covered in slick, black ooze and he strung it to his bow, aiming at one of the Traffickers running towards them. He let it fly, the thrum of the bow string spraying the inky black blood across Sean’s face. Sean didn’t flinch as the arrow flew through the darkness and hit its mark, taking the man down mid step. Sean cautiously moved toward the next heap of flesh and bones on the ground, yanking another arrow from what used to be its forehead. Three more of them, four more Traffickers.

Michelle heard the snapping of jaws from her right and realized that while her attention had been on Sean and his arrows, an undead assailant had crept up on her, one arm hanging limply from its shoulder socket, the other outstretched and grasping for her, its gnarled fingers brushing at the hair that hung around her shoulders.

“Duck, Meech!” Craig commanded, and she did as she was told, crouching low and just in time, as Craig’s tire iron came swinging through the space that Michelle’s head was just occupying, bashing the mushy skull of the thing that had surprised Michelle.

“Thanks,” she breathed as she stood, locking eyes with Craig as the big man nodded. She adjusted her grip on her golf club and collected herself with a deep breath, sticking close to Estela and the rest of them as they moved toward the headlights of the Trafficker’s truck. Sean took another quick moving Trafficker out, leaving just two more of them and two more of the undead. Estela handled one of them, jabbing it in the chest with the sharpened end of her weapon without even looking. Michelle heard fast footsteps coming up beside her, followed by the cocking of a shotgun. She closed her eyes and took a swing to where she hoped the man’s shins would be catching him by surprise, the gun discharging into the air as his legs flew out from under him and he landed flat on his back. She looked down at the face glaring back at her and recognized him instantly. It was the man in charge the night she and Raj were taken. An ice cold crackling feeling filled her like a flood as she lifted the club and brought it mercilessly down on the man’s face with a satisfying crunch, repeating until he ceased his movements, blood spurting from his nose and eyes and where his mouth used to be. She took a deep, shuddering breath and spun to catch up to the group.

“Enough!” a voice shouted out across the field and through the darkness. In the glow of the headlights they could make out the last of the Traffickers, his hands raised, a rope dangling from one of them. They slowed their steps, Michelle sticking close to Estela, Sean a half step ahead of them all and Craig slightly behind Michelle. “Enough…you…made your point…” there was fear shaking the man’s voice and Michelle felt her nostrils flare and her lip curl. How dare he be afraid, she thought, he brought this on himself. She kept her eyes on the rope in his hands, not willing to let herself be fooled- he might sound scared but he’s got one last thing up his sleeve.

“How will we know you won’t come back with more people? More of....of them?” Sean asked, his bow trained on the man before them.

Michelle watched as the rope started to move.

"I won't, guy, no one left back at camp...you...you killed them all."

Michelle didn't buy it. She knew the network of Traffickers was much bigger than the 4 men they'd dispatched and the 1 cowering before them. The rope twitched again, drawing Estela's attention- something was attached to the end of it.

“Don't listen to him, Sean,” Estela hissed, tightening her grip on her spear and taking a step closer to the man. Michelle moved forward, her feet filling the footprints Estela had just left behind. Sean adjusted his elbow higher, zeroing in on the man in front of them.

Suddenly the rope tugged and pulled and the man couldn't keep it between his fingers anymore. He let it slip, as deranged laughter slipped from his mouth. “You should have let me go,” he said, stepping aside as the thing at the end of the rope made itself visible.

Michelle’s eyes widened, her breath sucked from her lungs, chest feeling hollow and bruised as she recognized him. Raj. But it wasn't, not anymore. His face was sunken and his eyes were dull, skin rotting right off of his cheekbones, hair limp, filthy and hanging in clumps. He snapped his jaws at them, at her, and she knew there was nothing left inside of the perverted shell of the person he was. He was kind and always looked for the good, for the brightness. He was selfless and had saved her life, saved her spirit and saved everything that she was, and this had likely been the direct result of his actions. He didn't deserve this. Michelle knew the sick piece of shit who'd stopped laughing when Sean's arrow hit his shoulder had probably thought that seeing Raj like this would frighten her, make her sad, torture her, somehow make her a soft target again. But instead it filled her with rage, and as it lunged at her wearing what was left of Raj's face, she swung her club through it's skull and left it twitching behind her. It wasn't Raj. It had no right to pretend to be. She walked right past Sean, past Craig and Estela and raised her club once more before bringing it down on the man's face, his scream turning into a squelch as she smashed his nose and orbital bones to pulp. Craig and Zahra knew about Raj and about Michelle's time with the Traffickers, but after seeing her now, Sean and Estela knew that something had happened, and that Michelle had just finished something big. They didn't ask, but they knew.

“It's done,” Estela said, resting a hand on Michelle's shoulder. The women shared a nod, eyes locked on one another, before the group collectively took a breath. Craig and Sean surveyed the truck  and deemed it suitable to drive, so they took it back to the apartment before climbing back up the rope to the rest of the group. Relieved hugs and sighs went around the room as Zahra, Diego, Kara and Jake realized that everyone had made it back safely- dirty, exhausted, chests heaving and minds dark with what had just happened, but alive and whole and safe. Craig enveloped his wife and she tucked her face into his jacket so no one would see the three small tears that slipped out with the deep breath she exhaled. Sean told the rest of them what happened, that they'd secured the truck. Everyone got cleaned up and crawled to a couch or bed to crash into sleep, a veil of safety draped over the apartment, keeping them warm for at least one more night.

Kara felt her neck snapping forward as she dozed on the couch with Jake resting against her. She pulled her head back up with a gasp and blinked her eyes open. Her eyelids were made of lead and she fought them harder than ever, terrified to fall asleep while he slept. She needed to keep her eyes on him, watch for any signs of pain or fever, make sure he kept breathing. The motion of her dropping shoulders and head as she dozed over and over again woke him and he cleared his throat. “Hey, Princess, why don't you get some sleep?” he asked, titling his head back to look at her face. Her eyes were barely open, a thick fog settling in their normally clear blue skies. “You're so tired, Kara,” he whispered, trying to hide the grimace on his face. He was still in extreme pain, and talking was difficult but he'd bare any pain to ease hers.

“I'm fine, Jake,” she protested, a yawn breaking through to smash her words to smithereens.

He sighed, wishing with every ounce of him that he could take her in his arms, hold her to him and kiss her worries away, use his hands and his tongue, his lips, his breath and his body to show her that there was nothing to worry about. “You're not fine...you're exhausted, baby.” It wasn't a question. “Please, Kara...please, get some rest. I'll stay awake...let me watch over you for a little bit, okay? Please?”

There it was again. The word she'd never say no to, and he knew it. “Okay...just for a little while...just two hours, okay? Then wake me up. Promise.” she kissed his nose as she demanded her terms.

“Promise,” he whispered, and she eased back into the couch cushion. Before a minute had ticked by on his watch he felt her body go limp and her breath slow as she fell under the warm haze that had been trying to pull her into sleep since she'd carried his weight down into that laundry room. “Sleep well, Kara,” he let the words just barely trickle from his lips as he trailed his fingers lightly along her knee and looked out the window at the dark, black night. He let his mind wander to one of the scenarios he'd come up with, one of the thousands of different ways they could have met.

He'd brought his niece and nephew to the planetarium down at the local community college- they'd recently become obsessed with constellations, probably due to the fact that aside from catching bugs and looking at stars, Jake had no idea what to do with them. But they loved everything that uncle Jake did with them, so learning each and every star, comet, asteroid and moon had become their new shared activity. The college was putting on a special show, displaying constellations from millions of years ago, ones that can't be seen any more   as some of the stars had died, faded from existence, but the stories behind them had not, which was great as the two mini star gazers had already memorized all of the current visible constellations. Jake led Lucas and Laura by the hand to their seats in the sloping auditorium and waited excitedly as the lights dimmed and a beautiful young woman with silky, silvery blonde hair took the stage. “Welcome to the Hadrean Era,” she said, her voice tingling like stardust as the ceiling lit up with the twisting form of Andromeda, the woman in chains, the bright lights of Lupus, the lone wolf, with Delphinus and Draco and all the rest. At the end of the show the woman sat dangling her short legs from the stage's edge, allowing audience members to come ask questions and make comments. Lucas and Laura each had a question and Jake watched their faces light up as the woman answered them before turning to face Jake. She reached into her pocket and produced a small business card. “I'm Kara, I run this program...you three can come back anytime, show or not...I'm always happy to shed some light on the skies with fellow star lovers,” she ruffled the kids' hair and he felt sparks igniting in his heart.

“I'm Jake,” he said, “And I'm gonna take you up on that offer, Princess of the Stars.”

She dreamed of that first night, that first time she and Jake gave themselves to one another. He’d saved her life just hours before, pulling her from the choppy, icy water she’d fallen into, holding her trembling to his chest as he brought warmth back to her blood. His heart raced as hers threatened to fail, and they found harmony between them, breaths evening, returning to normal, but thoughts and feelings had crossed lines- she could have died, he could have died...later, under clear panes of glass showing onyx skies, they’d fallen into a kiss so deep it was unlike any they’d shared before. It started so simply. He’d gotten them inside the dilapidated greenhouse, sitting her on a shelf as he closed up behind them, ensuring nothing could follow them inside before returning to stand before her. He raised his hands to the sides of her face, gently placing his fingertips on her temples. He stepped closer, his hips flush against the shelf she sat on, bringing his lips to hers as he raked his fingers past her temples and into her still wet hair. Her breath had barely returned and he was stealing it from her, seeming to need it more than she did. She opened her mouth to him, and he waited, their breaths both hitching just at the sensation of the contact of their lips, at the life in them, before slipping his tongue past her teeth, hers swirling back against it. He gripped the sides of her face and deepened the kiss further by tilting her head just slightly, giving him a better angle. His tongue dove farther into her hot mouth as one of his hands found the soft, cool skin of her throat, ghosting little touches there. She whimpered, a soft little cry into his mouth as her hands found his waist, fingers digging into him. He groaned, a guttural, primal sound that made her shudder. “Kara,” his voice was gravelly with emotion, hardly a whisper as he broke the kiss. He leaned his forehead to hers, fingers traveling further into her hair, clutching her closer. “I almost lost you today,” his lips came back to hers and she felt waves crashing in and around her heart, tides pushing and pulling at her feelings for the man she’d promised herself she wouldn’t grow attached to... at her undeniable desire for him. “I almost lost you,” he repeated, his lips slipping along her skin. “Kara, I... I think I...”  She felt her heart beat out an alarm at what he was about to say. She reached up his stubbly cheeks with both hands and swallowed his words with a kiss. “Don’t, Jake,” she breathed. “Don’t say it...” she was growing dizzy- from the cold water, from the constant danger, from the kiss and his eyes and the things she wanted so desperately to hear him say, the things she wanted to say back. “I can’t Jake...” she said pleadingly. He understood, laying a gentle kiss to her lips that begged for nothing and promised everything.  “I know,” he said quietly, hands still roaming over her face, her neck, down her arms and up her sides. “Its okay...I know...and I'll wait for you to be ready. I'll wait as long as I have to.” His lips came back to hers and she felt the love she wouldn't say out loud exploding in her chest. She kissed him back, hard, overcome with how his willingness to accept her fear of falling in love had made her feel. Her hands worked their way beneath his shirt and he matched her intensity, helping her shed her own shirt. Their kisses grew more and more insistent as she poured that love into them, wanting him to feel what she couldn't say yet. The rest of their clothes came off but their lips never left one another, breaths coming in gasps, eyes locking intermittently, meeting in fire.

He broke apart, panting as his hands grazed up and down her naked frame. She'd laid back on the shelf he'd set her on, the dark cloudy sky above her, her skin pale and smooth in the darkness. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked, kissing her throat as his fingers lingered on her inner thigh.

“More than anything, Jake...I want this...I want you...” she reached for him to pull him down and they locked eyes as he entered her slowly. She was so wet with the way she wanted him, her body so ready for what she knew she wanted to say to him, but was too afraid to do so in words. She felt him fill her completely, sliding deep inside her until all the stars they couldn't see in the sky burst behind her closed eyes. “I want you, Jake,” she sighed into his ear as he began rocking his hips against her. “I want you, always...only you...always...”

“Me too, baby,” he groaned, gently pulling out and then swiftly thrusting back inside of her, eliciting beautiful whimpers and cries from her. “I want you...until the end of time...me and you...endless...” He kissed her deeply and she felt herself drown in his love, letting herself respond. I love you, Jacob, I love you and I always will, she said it with her hips and her hands and her tongue until her words could catch up. He lightly cupped her breast with one hand, squeezing and massaging the soft flesh with his rough fingers, rolling the nipple into a stiff peak, a light moan escaping her lips and into his mouth. As he tasted her wantonness he moved his lips to her breast, tracing her nipple with the tip of his tongue.

“Oh, Jake,” she sighed, panting heavily, working hard to keep the forbidden words from tumbling out. They were true, they were real, and the things he was doing to her only proved that he felt them too, but she couldn't say it. She wasn't ready to have love to lose. “Jake,” she breathed his name again, so close, so close to the edge of the universe he was sending her to.

“Yeah, darlin'” he kissed her chest and increased his thrusting.

“I think...I think I...” don't say it, Kara... I love you, Jake.

“I know, baby...” he panted, bringing his lips back up to hers in a kiss that took the paint off, revealed the cracks and showed all the splinters. A kiss that drew back the curtain and showed the reality, a kiss that finished them both, drove the nail in and sealed the envelope with boiling wax. “I know, Kara... me too...”

The stars behind her eyes swirled and expanded to become a galaxy as they both found their release and spent the rest of that night pressed together, feeling the words she couldn't say.

When she woke up she found his face, found his eyes and felt a swelling in her chest as she found his lips with hers. “Hey, good mornin' to you too,” he said with a chuckle that ended in a pained grunt. He reached up and ran a hand through her hair. “You sleep okay, princess?”

“Slept just fine, Top Gun,” she whispered, not wanting to wake anyone else still sleeping. “I love you,” she said, filling it with the feeling of all the times she'd wanted to say it but hadn't, vowing never to hold anything back again, never to keep her love from him again.

I’m going out to you Do with me what you choose Is the Grass of Eden underrated? The grass of Eden underrated?

No one else Is such a beautiful dream, a beautiful dream to me