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satorusdiary · 2 years ago

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Dating basketball player Eren jaeger.

Basketball player! Eren who has a necklace with your initials, filled with small diamond jewels. Not only that but you have a necklace that his initials, just so everyone knew who was yours.

Basketball player! Eren who doesn’t go to parties, which is unusual since he was the one who would attend all parties that was happening with his friends. Instead, he’s in his dorm room with you in his bed watching some scary movie you begged him to play for what it seemed like forever.

Basketball player! Eren who drives the both of you to his practices. Every day or night, whenever he has practices your coming along for sure. Just so he could see your cute smile sitting on the bleachers, whilst watching him practice to make you proud.

Basketball player! Eren who makes out with you in the hallways infront of anyone who has a crush on him. Just so he could prove to them that he’s only yours.

Basketball player! Eren who looks out for you in the crowd during a game when he makes a shot. Shooting a wink at your direction along with a cute bright smile. He always notices whenever you blow a kiss his way.

Basketball player! Eren who won’t stop bragging about you to his teammates! Whether it would be in the locker room, or in the court while their practicing for their upcoming game.

“Bro, i’m being serious. Y/N is a fucking angel. I love her soo fucking much, did you see how cute she was in my jersey?” Eren rants to his friends, being half naked with a towel covering his bottom half.

Reiner rolls his eyes, and sighs.

“yes eren, i think we know how lucky you are to have a hot girlfriend with an ass.” Reiner blurts out the last part, on accident. Now his eyes are wide.

Eren glares at Reiner.

“I know she’s hot Reiner. But if you stare at her like that i’ll fucking pull up to your neighborhood at three am, i’m not playin’ around.” Eren grunts, slamming his locker closed, sending a strong push of wind towards Reiner who watches his friend leave the locker room pissed off.

Basketball player! Eren who walks you to your classes. Always having an arm wrapped around your waist to pull you closer to him, not letting any male besides the guys he’s cool with close to you. After you both make it to your class, he kisses your forehead and your lips waving you goodbye and to have a good class.

Basketball player! Eren who has you on his lap whenever he does attend a party. Most likely he would go if you wanted to go. He’s sitting on a chair beside the pool whilst interacting with his friends, and teammates going over the next game.

Basketball player! Eren who unfollows any girl who isn’t you. This only happened because you mentioned once about how many girls he was following as a joke.

“Rennie.. why is your following count so low on instagram.” You nervously ask your boyfriend who was sitting on his desk doing his homework.

His hair was out of its bun, freely laying against his shoulders. He looked, utterly focused on his homework that would be due tomorrow.

“Jus felt like it. Why should i follow any other girl when they aren’t my pretty girlfriend?.” His smile gets brighter, sending a heartwarming feeling into your chest. Your lover for him always increasing from his actions.

You grin, walking over and sitting on his lap. Eren chuckles at the amount of kisses your pressing all over his face.

“Mwah! i love you s’muchhh.” You pressed another kiss.

Eren cups your cheek, placing a sweet kiss on your lips.

“I love you more, pretty girl so much more than you know it.

Basketball player! Eren who punches the shit out of any dude who checks you out in front of him. It gets really bad when he needs three of his friends to pull him off of the dude who decided to disrespect you. His girl.

nsfw

Basketball player! Eren who fucks you rough, just because he lost a game for the first time in so long. He has you on all fours, begging him to slow down when his big cock is jamming inside you multiple times. He had one of his hands slither down to your clit to toy with you more, making you arch your back more and cry out his name.

Basketball player! Eren who fucks you against the lockers in the changing rooms after his victory game, just to make one of the players who have a crush on you jealous that Erens the one that’s fucking you. The look on his face never fails to make Eren grin in satisfaction.

His jersey is over you, and is the only thing your wearing while your getting pounded. Your legs wrapped around Erens waist, and him pressing kisses to your cheeks muttering how much he loves you, and how much he would love to have a family with you and marry you.

After that the other player who had a crush on you never showed up to practice ever again.

Basketball player! Eren who gets head from you before a game happens. The both of you are in a small closet, with you on your knees taking Erens cock in your throat as best as you could. Eren, who is standing beside the wall, forcefully thrusting his dick inside your sweet mouth.

Basketball player! Eren who invites you inside his dorm to study, when later on your going to be sitting on his face with his mouth sucking and licking your folds.

Basketball player! Eren who sends the guys who flirt with you a photo of you on your knees giving Eren a blow job. If they manage to piss off Eren more, he ends up sending the boys your guys sex tape just so they would stop flirting with his baby.

Basketball player! Eren who stuffs you full of his cum, and uses your underwear to stop it from leaking out when the both of you are walking bath to a class you both have together. All of your classmates look at you both, noticing how messy you both looked. But they aren’t a stupid, they knew you fucked.

Basketball player! Eren who touches you inappropriately and makes out with you infront of the girls who flirt with him. Never forgetting to introduce you to them, a sad and embarrassed expression playing on their faces as they apologize to you.

“Oh, this is my beautiful girlfriend y/n. Did you she’s going to move in with me once we graduate? Not only that, but did you know she sucked my dick about.. hmm.. 12 minutes ago?” A menacing grin appears on his face.

Basketball player! Eren who cockwarms you whilst you do your homework. It doesn’t take long before you start bouncing on his dick, begging for him to cum inside you.

Basketball player! Eren who takes photos of you filled with his cum, naked with only his jersey on, and on his dick when his cum gets on your whole body. He never fails to keep the photos in his wallet, his binder, and on the mirror in his car.

Basketball player! Eren who always tells you he loves you, and always spills all of his feelings to you whenever you both are having soft, slow, loving sex just for you to feel better whenever you have a bad day.

Basketball player! Eren who makes it clear to anyone who tries interfering with his relationship that you’re his favorite girl. And that you both belong to each other. No bitch is going to ruin that.

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igorluvr · 2 days ago

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‘T.O.P SECRET

PAIRING: choi seung hyun (T.O.P) x black!reader

SYNOPSIS: hiding a relationship with a popular k-pop idol was hard enough, with paparazzi constantly following and fans obsessed with him. would you be able to deal with it, or crack under pressure?

CONTENT: aggravating fans, negative self talk, fluff so sweet you’ll get a cavity, "mamas" (im sorry guys i love it)

AUTHORS NOTE: the instagram portion is heavily inspired by @rosones‘s “being an actress dating choi seunghyun” fics, pleaseeee go check them out !!!

word count: [1.2k]

EVERYTHING was starting to get to you. Having to be hidden by the man you wanted to marry was exhausting and genuinely taking a toll on your mental. The two of you met 4 years ago, with you being a backup dancer for one of his biggest music videos.

Your sweet personality and captivating look immediately caught his eye. The way you carried yourself made his heart flip, he knew you were the one. After filming was done, he asked you out to dinner and it was wraps from there.

Meeting Seung-hyun was the best thing that happened to you. Well it was, until a year into your relationship. As the days you were together increased, you wanted to show off your boyfriend more. You knew you couldn’t and that ate you alive.

Seeing everyone getting posted and taken out by their boyfriends always put a bad feeling in your stomach, knowing that could never be you. Sometimes you wish that he was a regular guy, that people wouldn’t bombard him with questions everytime he went out and that his fans weren’t bat shit crazy.

You knew how harsh the k-pop industry was, and wanted no part in it. Some idols were getting publicly shamed just for relationship rumors, so what would the people say if they knew you were together for almost half a decade?

It wasn’t his fault, but it affected how you acted towards him. You found yourself getting random attitudes to him—not wanting to talk when he tells you how you can’t go on cute dates, and overall just being cold. One day, in particular, was way worse than usual.

It was the morning of valentine’s day, your 5th together, and you couldn’t shake the sick feeling you had. Everywhere you looked was filled with couples. Your social media, stores, the streets— you couldn’t escape it.

Now you weren’t one to be ungrateful, but having to stay hidden on a day where couples were meant to be shown off made you feel a type of way. You wanted nothing more than to be flaunted by Seung-hyun. This was the man you wanted to marry, and you wanted everyone to know.

Getting out of bed, you saw that he was nowhere in sight. Not in the room, bathroom, living room, or kitchen. Heading back to your shared room, you picked up your phone and went to text Seung-hyun. Surprisingly, though, there was already a message from him.

mybaby💋 • 1m ago

goodmorning princess, come to the guest room. happy valentine’s day ❤️

You were confused by the message, still being dazed by the sleepiness weighing on you. Leaving your shared room, you dragged your feet to the unused guest room, which was all the way on the other side of the house

The both of you had a shared home, which was rather large due to him wanting to have space for his group and occasional parties. You didn’t object, not caring about the size. But it was times like this when you really regretted your decision.

After what felt like an endless walk through the hallways decorated with bright colors and pictures of happy times the both you shared, you finally arrived at the guest room. You sleepily opened the door, and as you stepped inside, you were greeted by a sight that left you speechless.

The room was adorned with an array of crimson red balloons, each hovering slightly above the ground. They wavered slightly from the faint breeze from the windows, their shiny surfaces reflecting the soft, warm light that shone in from the sunrise. Delicate rose petals scattered across the hardwood floor formed a path toward the center of the room.

At the end of the room, there were silver balloons hovering above the lounge couch spelling out 'i love you' in cursive. The way the chords echoed around the room made your heart swell with a mixture of surprise and overwhelming emotion. The whole scene made you want to burst out in tears, you were so lucky to have someone like him in your life.

Seung-hyun stood by the words holding a glittery bouquet of flowers, looking as handsome as ever with a gentle smile that made your insides flutter. “Happy Valentine’s Day love.” he spoke softly, voice almost drowned out by the music.

You could barely speak, nothing coming out but girly giggles and laughs. The effort he put into making this day special flooded your mind with warmth, overtaking your earlier frustrations. Everything about the setup felt so intimate, you could really tell how much time and effort he put into it.

“Seung-hyun, this is… it’s beautiful.” you finally managed to say, eyes watering as you walked into the room. You stepped over the rose petals, feeling a bittersweet twinge of happiness mixed with the indifference of knowing you couldn't show anyone how happy you were.

“I wanted to do something special for you, just for today,” he said, moving toward you to take your hands in his. “You deserve the world. I hate that we have to keep our love a secret, but I want you to know how much you mean to me, especially on days like this.”

Tears gathered at the bottom of your eyes, threatening to spill out.. You knew he cared, you really did, but the guilt of feeling like a secret in his life made it all so complicated. “I just wish…” you started, voice shaky, “I just wish we could be open about us. I want to show everyone how amazing you are, how much I love you.”

He took a step closer, the warmth radiating from him somehow able to calm the emotions raging inside you. “I know baby, but this is how it has to be right now. I promise, one day we can be public about everything. You just have to trust me a little longer.”

Closure seemed so far away. You nodded, wiping at your eyes before flashing him a small smile, not wanting your feelings to overshadow the wonderful effort he’d put into today. “Okay. I trust you.”

“Let’s enjoy the day together, okay? I have a lot planned.” A wide smile spread across his face as he lead you out of the room, leaving you to wonder just what he had in mind.

As the day went on, you went to various places enjoying each others presence. He took you all around town to the most private, romantic spots. You loved when he did this, it showed how much he cared for you, but there was a pit in your stomach that couldn’t seem to go away.

On your anniversary, the day started with the two of you waking up wrapped in each other’s arms, sunlight beaming through the curtains, emphasizing all the intricate details and curves on his face. You couldn't shake the feeling that today would be different, something about it felt special, almost electric.

After making you breakfast, Seung-hyun insisted on keeping the day's plans a surprise. He carefully arranged everything to ensure it would be the happiest day of your life, one you spent all with him. You found yourself growing more excited the more he gave little hints about what was to come.

The first stop was a remote hillside cabin that he rented for the weekend. Burrowed among the trees, the cabin was completely surrounded by nature, giving you the peace and quiet he knew you loved. When you stepped inside, the cabin was filled with soft music, candles adorned the tables, flickering slightly. In the center of the room you were met with your favorite dish on both sides of a small table.

“Welcome to our place, baby” he said, sneaking up behind you to place a kiss on your shoulder "Just us." There was no hiding the smile that grew on your face, you could barely believe how thoughtful he was to create such a romantic setting just for you.

The two of you spent the morning walking through the beautiful trails that spread out through the woods, taking in the vibrant colors of the scattered leaves as they crunched under your feet. Seung-hyun held your hand tightly, occasionally pulling you in to exchange soft kisses, transporting you to world that felt entirely your own.

After the hike, he led you back to the cabin where he had a picnic set up inside, laid out on a beautifully woven blanket. A bottle of chilled wine sat on the cover, alongside an assortment of expensive cheeses, fruits, and pastries. You both settled comfortably on the floor, commenting on the rustic scenery and sharing stories and laughter. The sound of the wind blowing through the trees outside was a soundtrack to the love that surrounded you.

He urged you to put on a dress, a beautiful white one— saying it would make the picnic that more romantic. After a few minutes of going back and forth, you decided to just put it on. You knew how stubborn he was and if it made his enjoy the dinner more, you'd do it regardless.

As the sun slowly lowered in the sky to sink lower in the sky, casting a warm golden shadow through the cabin windows, Seung-hyun suggested to watch your favorite movie. Claiming it would be a good way to end the day, you agreed and settled down to start the film.

Halfway through, though, you noticed Seung-hyun glancing at you more than he was watching the film. His intense gaze sent a rush of warmth through you, and you smiled softly, hoping to encourage him to share whatever was on his mind. Just as the romantic climax of the movie approached, he paused the screen and turned to face you, his expression suddenly serious. “Can we talk for a moment?”

“Of course,” you replied, intrigued and a little anxious about what he was going to say. Pulling away slightly, he sat up and looked deeply into your eyes. “You know how much you mean to me, right?” His tone was somber and genuine, wrapping you in immediate comfort.

“More than anything” you muttered, heart racing.

“Good,” he said, nodding, his gaze unwavering. “Because I’ve been thinking about us, about our future, and how much I want to make it real.” He looked at you with a slight smile on his face, eyes unable to tear from you like a magnetic force locked his gaze onto yours.

Your breath caught in your throat, nervousness creeping to the surface as you anticipated what was coming. “What do you mean?” You could hardly keep the tremor from your voice.

Seung-hyun reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, velvet box. Your heart began to race even faster, an overwhelming mix of joy and disbelief swirling within you.

“I've never thought about marriage until five years ago when I met you. It’s like you flipped a switch in my brain, and suddenly, all I could think about was wanting to spend the rest of my life with you. I know we've had to keep things a secret, but I'm ready to tell the whole world about you. I want to build a life together, no more hiding or secrets.” he said, his voice calm but warm. “Let’s take this step so we can finally just be… us. Out in the open.”

With trembling hands, he opened the box, revealing a delicate silver ring that sparkled under the candlelight—an intricate design with a single gem at its center. The ring sparkled underneath the lights, losing you in it's beauty. “Will you marry me?”

Tears streamed down your face as a wave of emotions crashed over you. You weren’t just overwhelmed by the proposal, but by the amount of love and commitment in his eyes. You wouldn't have to hide how you felt, you wouldn't be a secret anymore.

“Yes!” you exclaimed, your voice breaking as you nodded fervently. “I'd love to marry you baby”

He slipped the ring onto your finger, and the moment it settled in place, you felt an overwhelming rush of joy. Seung-hyun scooped you into his arms, spinning you around as laughter spilled out of you and echoes off the walls of the cabin. He finally set you down, and in that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the world outside, not the secrets, not the complications. Just the two of you, finally stepping into the light together.

“I love you so much,” he murmured as he pulled you into his arms, his forehead resting against yours. “I’ve waited for this day forever.”

“I love you more,” you replied, heart racing, blossoming before you in vibrant colors. You melted against his touch, the future flashing through your mind in a golden glow.

Time seemed irrelevant in that moment as you bathed in the warmth of his touch. Here in your hidden sanctuary, a place created just for the two of you, nothing else mattered. Your love story was just beginning, and you couldn’t wait to write the next chapter together.

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you mamas” he whispered, standing up to pull you into his arms.

You buried your face in his shoulder, laughter and tears intertwining in a beautiful melody. In that moment, all the worries and fears faded away. Seung-hyun whipped out his phone and went straight to instagram.

"Can't wait to show u off baby, been waiting for this for years" The typing on his phone intensified as his smile grew wider by the second. You drifted off to sleep in his arms as the soft sound of his fingers tapping against the screen rocked you to a peaceful sleep.

When you finally woke, sunlight beamed through the leaves of the trees surrounding your home, casting playful patterns on the ground. Seung-hyun slept beside you, chest rising up and down with each breath he took. He was so at peace, and it made your heart swell all over again.

There was a constant 'bzzzz' coming from your nightstand, causing you to tiredly snatch your head in the direction of it. For some reason, your phone was blasting with notifications. Opening it, you were met with an instagram post from your very own fiancé.

@.ttt ✓

♫ Daniel Caesar • Blessed

ttt my beautiful fiancé

liked by xxxibgdrgn and others

view comments…

@.seunghyunswifey wait are we so serious rn??

@.5bigbangs chat this is me like fr

@.liyahsarchives she’s so pretty i can’t even hate

@.than0sworlddd I mean she’s okay..

@.daeholuvr okay let’s see ur face then !!

@.iheartkenshin so happy for them omgg

Reading the comments gave you a whirlwind of emotions. While most were supportive and happy for your relationship, there were others that weren’t as joyful. They called you names, degraded you, even wished the worse on your marriage. You knew they were just crazy fans, but it still hit the deepest part in your heart.

Still, you were thankful for this. Being public about your engagement had its prices to pay, and this was just one of them. No matter how bad it gets, no amount of hate would overpower your love for Seung-hyun.

Looking over at him sleeping peacefully in bed, the morning sun radiating off of his face, brought you comfort. As long as you had him, everything would be okay.

#squid game #choi su bong #thanos x reader #choi su bong x reader #player 230 #player 230 x reader #choi seunghyun #choi seunghyun x reader #top #top x reader #t.o.p bigbang #t.o.p #t.o.p x reader #bigbang #big bang #choi seung hyun x reader #choi seunghyun bigbang #kpop #kpop fanfic

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diediegamchicothdie · 26 days ago

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First thank u @queenoftheundergroundscene for the Varg's cringe love letter

Now

Who is Lullaby Oliveira and why varg hates Brazil???? (Beside he's racist)

Lullaby is a black metal musician and artist from Brazil who highlights the sexual element on black metal (she writes stories about fuck with demons), and she the front girl of underground band Lullaby which had the peak of popularity on 90's.

How did she meet Varg? We don't know, she probably met Euro (he liked to talk with everyone in metal's world because he was a 🦜🦜) first and then she "spoke" with Varg, and I said "spoke" because she never answered, probably she died in cringe, my girl was talking about fuck demons and he introduced to her with "Southron" lol.

So, I just did this post to show this meme

(Instagram: meijemsimplol recuerden que soy una presa política por meta)

Maybe Faust cannot take revenge for his best friend murder, but at least he can get married with a Brazilian baddie!!!!!

And remember:

Southron Lullaby!

This is the manifest of male magic, this is the lidless eye, Count Grishnackh of no colors. Your letter was very interesting.

It was not long nor informative.... But it gave me a feeling of wonder. After reading it I thought of women of secret shadow.

As if beauty was their voice.....Calling for males to follow them into the shadows of the woods where evil lurks,

evil creatures and spirits who no one dare belive in. Among theese creatures....the nymph...the woman! I got this feeling that you

where sutch a "woman" tempting me to follow you. Write "Count I'm in the fell ... follow me ... "Lullaby" I think most males would

blindly follow you....without thinking about where you would take them. Mayby that is your goal? Mayby I should belive you when you

say you are Lucifer's? I recognized myself a lot. I enjoy to capture the love of females...It strengthen me. Also I drink virgin blood

whenever I can. And of course steal the virigin of many young beautiful, innocent, kind, unknowing girls. By playing music I geta lot of

worshipp! People worshipp time, feelings, etc. to me by listening to my music! So my power increase. I know that! Now I can do mostly

what I want to do... I can not cast lightning from my hands or sutch feary stuff. But acts to make people cry without

reason, make girls fall in love, or to sense others powers and feelings. Things like that. I think you have some cunning plans not

only beauty. You will never get my soul. I collect souls myself. I'm not to be collected. I have no love or good feelings.

I exist purely to get power. Power that will give me a place in the dark land where shadows lie. Where I will serve the dark lord.

Spread my lidless eye.

your "tempting" words...

PS I'll gladly have more pics.

Count Grishnackh.

Pd: he said "plz sand bobs and vagene" in Norsk

#black metal #true norwegian black metal #trve norwegian black metal #burzum #varg vikernes #count grishnackh #lullaby oliveira #lullaby #bård eithun #faust emperor

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halfwayunder · 1 year ago

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𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞

Summary: Some old tweets come out and it puts you between a rock and a hard place.

Warning: Internalized Homophobia

Word Count: 2.6k

Arsenal Training Centre, St. Albans

///

You could sense the tension in the air before you'd even stepped through the doors.

...

The past few days had made you a bit of a nervous wreck. The result of some Sam Kerr fan account on Instagram posting a collection of old tweets you'd made nine years ago, back when you were 13.

Old, profoundly homophobic tweets.

And while some fans, mostly those already partial to you, had taken that substantial amount of time and your youth into account, many others had not. Instead, they hurled abuse alongside calls for the club to drop you at the earliest possible opportunity. You'd even tried disabling comments on your most recent social media posts before quickly realizing that the comments would simply move to older ones. Despite how bad some of them had become, you still found yourself not quite willing to disable the comments on every post you had ever made.

It was your own fault anyway. You had been signed by Arsenal a few months ago, having spent the years before that going from one mediocre team to the next until your international performance in Australia had seemingly caught the attention of several larger clubs, the Gunners included. You'd been positively over the moon when your management agency had called to give you the good news. It should have been your big break, and for a period of time, it was, but a position in such a prestigious club came with a level of increased publicity that you hadn't been fully prepared for.

You knew that you should have purged your Twitter before the contract had even been made public, but you'd long forgotten about those posts, those awful comments, and bigoted 'jokes' that your massively insecure thirteen-year-old self had felt the need to put out into the world to try and convince everyone that you were certifiably straight. To convince yourself in some deluded way that you did not frequently lose sleep over the increasingly intrusive and borderline distressing thoughts that plagued you every time you were around some of your friends at school and the teammates at your youth football academy.

Those thoughts just hadn't been you, of course. Because you were straight.

Or, at least that's what thirteen-year-old you had wanted to think at the time.

In the teenage years that followed those tweets, you had eventually been able to come to terms with your sexuality. It had been a slow, long, and painfully drawn-out process, but while the influence of your conservative family had worked to reinforce the close-minded worldview you had been raised with, being around so many openly gay women in your football career had ultimately proven to be a much stronger force in your life. To see that contrary to what you had been told, these supposedly evil and degenerate people were in fact perfectly ordinary and typically far kinder than the 'just' and 'moral' types you had been surrounded by in your childhood.

But, while you had gradually been deprogrammed from the more outwardly hostile and bigoted elements of how you'd been brought up, you had never quite gotten around to being proud of who you were, to being able to let yourself embrace what you felt and to let yourself be happy. Even today, all these years later, you still struggled to imagine yourself feeling the warmth of another woman, a woman you could love as more than just a friend, and a woman who you could feel comfortable telling the world about.

So, you had simply tried to ignore your feelings. Even as you went from teenager to adult and semi-professional to professional, you resigned yourself to a world in which love was an impossibility, where every teasing question from a friend about your romantic endeavors was expertly deflected with a non-committal answer and a change of topic.

You had learned to be happy for the women in your life who were openly gay and celebrated their relationships sincerely like a good friend would, but you could never deny yourself the reality that every time a close friend announced their new partner, you would feel a twinge of remorse, pain that was sourced from fleeting, quickly suppressed thoughts of a life not lived, an opportunity not taken, and a romance denied its potential. It was a sad way to live, but as sad as it was, the thought of telling the world that you were gay was even worse. It had always been worse.

...

And so now, as the sliding doors of the training centre's lobby parted, you found it a difficult task to keep your nerves from becoming overwhelming.

Management had already spoken to you about the tweets and the response on social media to them. Fortunately, no proper news outlet had put out an article on the 'situation' yet, but the club's PR people had seemed pretty nervous that eventually, one of them would. You'd told them that you hadchanged since you were thirteen and that you'd be more than willing to put out an apology. But, ultimately, their advice had been for you to simply stay quiet and hope it all went away on its own. Something that you had been less than thrilled to hear, as if you were ever confronted by a scenario in which it didn't just go away on its own, and eventually you were told to put out an apology, it would likely be too late by the time that you did.

"Morning, Y/N." you were taken away from your thoughts by the young woman at the front desk, Catherine. She was smiling, but you could tell it was a bit of a sympathetic smile, like the woman was trying to show that she was on your side. You appreciated the sentiment, of course, but being treated differently at all because of this was only making your nerves worse.

"Heya." you tried to greet back casually with a smile of your own, and despite your best efforts, it came across as an 'I know' type of smile, a visual confirmation that you acknowledged what had been happening on the Internet these past few days, and her small attempt to make you feel better.

You had almost passed her, ready to head deeper into the large facility when you abruptly stopped and asked, "Any of the other girls here before me?" To which the shorter woman behind the desk nodded, her demeanour steady in its sympathy towards you, knowing why you would be asking. After all, you were on a team with two gay relationships within it, let alone the number of players who just swung that way in general. And aside from the occasional joke or tease (the latter of which often hurt you to an extent that none of your new friends could possibly know), you were pretty certain that none of them actually thought you were a part of that category.

None of the girls had messaged you in the past twenty-four hours, which, while a little uncommon, wasn't an immediate tell that you had been made a pariah. The last message you'd gotten had been from Steph asking if you were available for a coffee date on Saturday, and that had been just over a day ago. Late enough to have been after that stupid account had posted those screenshots, but early enough to have been before many people knew about it.

Fuck, this was really getting to you.

You continued your way down the corridors of the training centre, each heartbeat feeling a little heavier than the last as you drew closer to the locker room. Knowing that at least a few of the girls would be there this early in the morning, getting changed or having a shower or just socializing as they waited for others to arrive. You wondered if they were talking about you, and if they were, what they were saying. You were wondering if they had already agreed to shun you, or even speak to Jonas about getting rid of you. Fuck, this was fucking getting to you.

You gripped the handle of the bag slung over your shoulder a little tighter as you approached the locker room and took a breath before opening the door, a hundred different scenarios having crossed your mind from the time you'd left the lobby to now.

Stepping into the locker room, the atmosphere was a stark contrast to what you had braced yourself for. It was business as usual—some of the girls were chatting casually, others were prepping their gear. For a fleeting moment, you allowed yourself the hope that perhaps they hadn't seen those tweets or had chosen to ignore them.

But as you made your way to your locker, you could feel eyes on you. Some were quick glances, laced with uncertainty or curiosity, while others held longer, more contemplative stares. No one said anything directly, but the air was thick with unspoken questions and possible conclusions. It was hard to tell.

You kept your head down, focusing on getting ready. The sound of your locker door clanging shut seemed to echo louder than usual, and as you changed into your training gear, you pondered over your next steps. Ignoring the issue didn't feel right, but neither did addressing it without a plan.

"Hey," just then, your attention was taken by the sound of a voice that you quickly recognized as Katie's, her Dublin twang thick as always. The defender's expression was hard to read as she approached, and she sat down next to you, continuing after you replied, "Morning." Your voice was small, and your throat tightened a little, Katie was one of the closer friends you'd made in your somewhat limited time at the club, and her opinion mattered to you.

"Listen, I heard about the tweets," she started, and while you braced yourself for what might come next, you couldn't help but notice her tone being somewhat gentler than you'd expected, but still straightforward. "And, I wanted to say..." she continued, and you felt your heart beat a little bit faster. But, then she stopped, if only for a few seconds, and frowned slightly, though seemingly more to herself than to you. She looked like she was thinking about something, something about you, perhaps.

"Well, I don't know what I wanted to say exactly... but I'm here if you want to talk, or if you need anything, really."

Wait.

What?

You must have had a look on your face because the Irishwoman spoke up again. "Like, if you have anything you wanna get off your chest. I'm here for you, all of the girls are." She remained gentle, but you could tell that heart-to-hearts weren't exactly Katie's style (not that this surprised you) from the way she looked a little awkward, but her sincerity remained all the same.

Breathing just the slightest bit faster, it took you another second or two before you replied, "A lot of the girls?" One of your brows lifting curiously. Was... she implying what you were beginning to think she was implying?

Did Katie know think you were gay?

"Yeah. We care about ya, dummy. And unless you really are some horrible bigot, nothing you say is gonna change that." Katie smiled at that remark and you couldn't help but reflect her, shaking your head lightly in response. "I'm not," you confirmed, your eyes connecting with Katie's. "I was just... different then... I was—" You went to continue, but cut yourself off, your breath almost hitching as you caught yourself at the last moment from finishing that sentence.

I was afraid.

You could virtually see the defender's gaze softening on you in real time and you couldn't bear the sight of it anymore, glancing away and turning your attention to your shoes. The locker room around the pair of you was beginning to fade into the backdrop, although you got the feeling that it hadn't just been Katie's eyes on you. Even as you observed the details of your trainers, you could practically feel the woman next to you's gaze wandering off every few moments to the others in the room, maybe looking for assistance, or trying to convey her unspoken suspicion.

"You were what?" You heard, and this time it wasn't Katie who spoke. It was Beth, who was standing a short distance away by her own cubby. Immediately proving that your heart-to-heart with Arsenal's number 15 hadn't been quite so exclusive, and the locker room's sudden silence ironically brought it right back to the forefront of your attention. Everyone was listening, and many of them staring as well. Was this what they had been talking about before you'd shown up? Had they been in here putting together dots you hadn't known existed? A longing gaze you hadn't suppressed or one too many comments about the eyes or legs of another woman that you'd thought would simply slip under the radar as casual observation? Were those tweets the final confirmation they needed?

Was this the supposed 'gaydar' you had heard about?

"Nothing." you retorted swiftly, shaking your head again as you reached into your locker to resume getting dressed. You hadn't really paid attention to the fact you'd stopped when Katie had come over to talk to you, but the girls didn't seem intent on letting this moment slip away, and you could see Beth approach from your peripheral vision even as you tried to focus on getting changed. You were beginning to almost feel trapped, though you were certain that the culprit behind that particular feeling was more likely to be yourself than your teammates.

"Y/N, we're your friends." Beth said, kneeling down to eye level, while Katie still sat beside you, staring into the side of your head with an expression that was unusually gentle and almost unnervingly so. You still couldn't look at her without feeling your throat close up.

"Trust me... none of us are going to react like how that silly little brain of yours thinks we might." she continued softly and with a warm smile, and now you knew. You knew that they knew.

Your head tilted slightly up to look at Beth, who was now squatted a small distance from you, hands clasped together and blue eyes looking right into your own. You could still sense the looks of the other girls on you too, only now you didn't feel that they were judging, far from it actually. Your leg bounced up and down nervously, and you didn't even have it in you to try to stop it. You felt like you wanted to cry. Why was this so hard? Even now, when it was clear that everyone in the room knew. You just couldn't say it.

Your eyes started to glisten as the first tears threatened to push their way out, and you gave Beth a small, sad smile. Your throat began to hurt in the way that only a sob—or an imminent one—could provoke.

"I think you know already." you finally managed to get out, your voice as small as your presence in that room, and Beth only nodded. You could see some of the other girls nod too, but you were distracted by the feeling of Katie's hand taking your own and clutching it safely. A breath escaped you and it was shaky, uncertain, afraid.

"Yeah, I think we do, pet." the forward replied, closing the gap between you and pulling you in for a hug, her arms finding themselves at home wrapped around your torso. It was as if she'd given you permission to cry, the tears finally beginning to flow, as you buried your head into the other woman's shoulder, quietly sobbing into the fabric of her Arsenal jacket. Katie's hand tightened around your own, and you heard the sound of cleats and shoes closing in around you. You weren't sure how you were going to deal with this new reality moving forward, this world in which people other than yourself knew of your sexuality, but at least you wouldn't be alone.

///

End Notes: Hope you liked this one, guys! I promise not all of my fics will be angsty! I'm also in the process of writing an OC for a self-contained multi-part storyline. But, with how busy I've been with uni, who knows whether I'll actually finish it or not. Thanks for reading!

#woso #awfc #woso community #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #arsenal women #arsenal wfc #katie mccabe #beth mead #arsenal wfc x reader

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heavenlycloud · 1 year ago

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all my thoughts, they're shaped like you: huh yunjin x fem! reader

request: i was wondering if you could write smth about yunjin and reader having a sleepover? it can be a smut or not js however you'd like <3

a/n: i decided to write this as sfw instead of smut just bc im...not confident in my smut writing abilities rn so i hope this will suffice! enjoy and thank you so much for requesting. *please note all pictures and videos are used for creative reference to give readers a visual of hair, makeup, clothes, shoes, etc. ONLY*

guilty was your first comeback in six months and by far your most successful since your debut four years ago. originally the song was to go to one of your seniors, but it was pushed your way when another caught his attention. the song was much more mature than the other songs you'd put out in the past which increased attention towards this new side of you as an artist. the past four weeks were filled with long schedules of music and variety show appearances, photoshoots, and too many fansigns to count. however, today was the last day of schedules before you got a two week long break to rest and recover.

you stood in front of your manager who was pressing you to take pictures for instagram before you got whisked away elsewhere. he smiled as you posed and the rest of your staff members made positive comments about you and your performance outfit. you didn't even bother settling back into your dressing room because not even two seconds later there was a knock at the door. you rushed over to open it and a small face peeked through as you beamed from ear to ear.

eunchae shyly greeted your staff members and you before she stepped back and onced you over with a gasp, "you're so pretty!" you reached forward and pulled her into a hug, "you're so precious oh my god." she giggled and led you down the hallway to the room where she films Eunchae's Star Diary. when you both got inside she motioned for you to sit down and she followed behind you.

for a moment there was silence after you introduced yourself before you and eunchae began laughing and you admitted in english, "i'm sorry i don't want to be awkward...it's this is just a little funny to me because we've never actually met." eunchae agreed and answered in korean, "yeah this is our first time meeting, but i feel like i know about you a lot because yunjin unnie talks about you all the time." similar to a professional she continued, "with your new comeback, can you tell us a little bit about the album and your favorite song?" you nodded and explained more professionally, "guilty is my first album since six months ago. it's also a different sound than what i've put out before. this time i wanted to focus on something that everyone can connect with."

eunchae looked at you with wide eyes and prompted you to continue so you added, "guilt is an emotion that everyone has to some extent or another. it's a feeling that has a negative connotation and that's something i wanted to change. of course singing about positive things is good, but i think singing about negative things and presenting them in a beautiful way is equally as important. more specifically, my single guilty’ is about a selfish love that hurts the other person. it’s not coming from my experience, but i used it as a way to define what love is and express it on stage.”

the younger girl looked at you and sighed, "everything you say sounds so smart." you laughed and shyly dismissed the complement out of habit before she asked you, "who was the first person to hear the single?" you side eyed her and she grinned because she already knew the answer but for the sake of her show you sighed, "huh yunjin of le sserafim." eunchae pointed and laughed at your facial expression and you playfully rolled your eyes but she shared happily, "yunjin unnie has been singing the song nonstop since it came out. when it dropped she was telling all of us in the dorm that she heard it first! she kept bragging that it was so good but didn't tell us any hints! but it was worth the wait because the comeback is incredible, unnie!" heat bloomed in your chest at the thought of yunjin listening to your music and bragging about how talented you were to those closest to her.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

the minute you got back into your apartment after your schedule all of your messages came rushing into your notifications. your best friends had blown up your phone all day which honestly wasn't new, but scrolling through 100+ messages was kinda annoying when you were tired. then, like clockwork your phone started ringing and you answered to see one of your best friends on your screen, "hey i don't know if you saw somi's texts or not but we're having a sleepover at your place tonight." immediately you responded, "who is we? you speak french now?" on the other line she laughed and said, "don't be like that y/n."

you whined, "aeri! i just finished promotions im TIRED! and why my place and not somi's?" aeri let out a small huff and said, "somi's apartment flooded like ten minutes ago so we can't stay there. you know the rest of us aren't allowed people to stay overni-" you cut her off immediately, "hold on it's not just you and somi?" aeri looked off to the side and bit her lip, "uh...so funny story..." before she could answer someone snatched her phone and continued, "jen is coming too." you spat out the water you were sipping, "WHY WOULD YOU INVITE YUNJIN?!" somi answered casually, not taking her eyes off of the road, "i thought you would've worked stuff out by now. besides it's kinda shitty if we have a sleepover and exclude one person. it's called a friend group for a reason, right?" you huffed, "yeah i guess..."

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

the friend group started just as you and giselle when she entered SM entertainment back in December of 2019. the two of you clicked immediately even though you were technically her senior, having debuted that past summer. along with her members, they were the only girls close to your age in the entire company so you were quick to befriend them as soon as you were allowed. months after meeting giselle, you met somi who debuted a month before you as a soloist. then you introduced the two and the three of you were a trio of best friends...until yunjin came into the picture.

you and yunjin were familiar with one another but you only met once at a music show when you were promoting at the same time. from there you introduced her to somi and aeri, and she was added into the friend group. once you added her into the small bunch of friends you all were complete, and dubbed, The Plastics, by fans.

for the most part everything was fine with you four except that there were times when it was hard to meet up because of busy schedules. however, you started trying to distance yourself a bit when you realized that you had a crush on yunjin. the cardinal rule of friend groups was don't date other people in the same group. despite aeri and somi swearing up and down to you that yunjin liked you back, you refused to feed into it. your best friends weren't liars but you just couldn't bring yourself to believe them for whatever reason. besides even if you confessed to yunjin you didn't think much would come of it besides a ruined friend group. so you decided that you were just going to continue trying to compartmentalize your feelings and gaslighting yourself into thinking you didn't like her.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

you ran to your room trying to get everything ready for your friends, the least you could do is have a clean apartment. the vaccuum drowned out the sounds of the city streets below your building as you dragged it across your area rug. you hummed along to oceanfromtheblue that blasted through your headphones, further muting the noise from the outside world. unbeknownst to you, yunjin had already entered your apartment. she got in using the 10 digit code on your door that she memorized just in case because that's what friends do...right?

a pair of hands gently caught your hips as you backed up with the vaccuum in hand making you scream and jump. you whipped around to see yunjin standing before you looking perfect as usual. she was only in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie with those ugg slippers she liked to leave in your apartment for when she visited you. even in a basic dressed down outfit she still looked like an angel with her red hair pulled into a messy bun with a few loose strands framing her face. the pair of glasses she wore sat low on her nose causing her to push them up before pulling you into a hug. she laughed and apologized, "y/n i'm sorry! i called out your name a few times i thought you would have heard me." you let out the breath you'd been holding and assured her, "no it's fine i shouldn't have had my headphones this loud..."

there was an awkward silence and her eyes found yours bringing out a pinkish hue to her cheeks that was only reserved for you. her hands remained on your hips and you brushed a piece of her hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. the simple action sent butterflies straight to her stomach and made her catch her lip between her teeth. neither of you knew where this was headed but right before you two could figure it out, the front door swing open and aeri entered with somi, "HEY BITCHES- oh." the two of you jumped and yunjin inched away from you, "heyyyy!" somi motioned between the two of you, "did we just interrupt something or?" immediately you refused, "no we were just um... yeah anyways hey guys." you paused and realized the two let themselves in, "wait- how did you two get inside?" yunjin and your manager were the only two people who knew the password for your apartment so how did they manage to get in?"

somi pointed to her phone and said, "i wrote it down the last time yunjin and i were over. the real question is why does yunjin know it and we don't. i thought we were friends." the blonde placed her hands on her hips and pouted to which aeri added, "how do you even remember all those numbers anyways?" yunjin responded, "i memorized it after seeing y/n do it once. and it's not hard, i just remember important things." both aeri and somi shared a glance and you joked, "so basically i need to make a new passcode. got it." the three of them laughed and put their bags down so you could start your plans for the night.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

yunjin pulled out a vlogging camera from her bag and said, "i know we usually have a 'no work stuff' policy for our hangouts but i have to vlog and this is the only interesting thing i've done all week." your other friends started getting baking utensils and ingredients out of your pantry and cabinets while you preheated your oven.

the american idol stood in front of the camera and started speaking, "hi everyone! today i'm with my friends- and we're going to do the blind, mute, deaf challenge while cooking. y/n is being so kind to let us use her kitchen today!" you fake side eyed her and muttered, "you all showed up on my doorstep unannounced but okay." the three laughed and finished setting up the things you'd need.

since it was yunjin's vlog she decided how roles were split up and it was through rock paper scissors: aeri was deaf, somi and you were blind, yunjin was mute. for the sake of your kitchen and everyone's safety she decided to have two people who weren't allowed to speak. before starting the challenge yunjin explained, "so we already have the roles assigned. basically we are going to try to cook dinner together with our roles and we aren't allowed to switch or break character. so aeri is deaf- she already has her headphones on." she pointed the camera to aeri who was in her own world listening to some tyga song on blast, not paying attention to anyone else. yunjin continued, "somi and y/n are blind- wait do we have a blindfold?" she turned to you and you shook your head, "why would i have a blindfold? somi smirked and winked, "i have many blindfolds." yunjin slapped her arm and she laughed, "what?" you huffed in fake annoyance, "we should have made her one of the mute ones. yunjin finished explaining, "and i'm mute so i'm going to be silent because i didn't want to tape my face. anyways, aeri is the only one that can see the recipe and we have to follow her directions." you ended up finding two scarves in one of your drawers to tie around your and somi's heads and you all started the challenge.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

"OKAY! BOIL THE POT OF WATER!" aeri shouted loudly making you flinch at the sudden outburst. you reached your hands in front of you as you cautiously dug a pot out from your cabinet and placed it in somi's hands. the blonde started to slowly walk to your sink, hitting the front of it with a soft thud and a whine while the rest of you laughed. somi filled the pot up and gently walked it back with the help of yunjin before she turned on the stove. the rest of it went like this, yunjin slightly helping you while aeri screamed the directions to you all.

when it came to cutting the chicken somi backed away from the counter, "i don't wanna touch it ew." you muttered, "you big baby." aeri asked in confusion, "YOU SAID YOU HATE ME?" the three of you burst out laughing while aeri stood still confused, looking around then into yunjin's camera as if it would talk back to her. you stood in front of the cutting board with the raw chicken and grabbed the knife that was within reach. you thought aloud, "this is probably a bad idea having the blind one do this part of the challenge but...i have bandaids."

somi was busy trying to drain the pasta from the water with the help of aeri guiding her as yunjin nervously watched you handle the knife and raw meat. yunjin tensed as she watched you nearly cut your finger once and then placed a hand on your arm. this time you didn't jump at her touch and let her come behind you. her hands placed gently atop yours and you giggled before playfully asking, "oh my god what is this? so romantic." beside you somi and aeri pretended to gag, somi not even facing the right direction as she teased you. when you both finished cutting the meat, yunjin moved from behind you and immediately you missed her body pressed against yours.

the remainder of you all cooking was a hot mess. from aeri forgetting she was in charge of instructions to take mini dance breaks, to somi trying to spoon in pasta water into the sauce with a fork by accident, yunjin trying to mime out her questions about the recipe to aeri, and you walking smack into the open refrigerator door- the whole thing was a mess. but an entertaining one that fans would love to watch once it was uploaded. somehow by some miracle you all managed to make the food exactly how it was supposed to taste which paid off at the end.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

hours passed and aeri and somi had fallen asleep after crying their eyes out to the notebook that just finished playing. you poked aeri with your foot and her head lolled to the side limply making you and yunjin laugh. you pointed to your tv and asked, "did you like the movie?" the red aired woman nodded and mumbled quietly, "yeah, it was good. i understand the hype now but it was sad too. i love a happy ending but leading up to it was sad, you know?" you agreed and admitted, "i was mad when they made me watch it for the first time so you're better than me. all of that emotion just for me to get something kinda nice at the end, it was exhausting." she hummed in agreement and you both fell silent.

yunjin's hands brushed your hair gently, the softness of your silk press beneath her fingers was different from the way you usually wore it. unlike when most people touched your hair, you didn't pull away or dodge her hands running through the strands. instead you scooted closer to her and smiled when she began dutch braiding one of the sides on your head. the two of you basked in the quiet which was the first of it's kind tonight.

there was a small snag in your hair that caused you to almost whimper when her long fingers tugged at it. yunjin murmured an apology and pressed a gentle kiss to the spot before continuing. she then spoke up, "imagine just...forgetting who you are and everyone you love like that."

you didn't think before answering, "i almost did. when i left home and came here. i was around people that said i needed to leave my old life behind if i wanted to be successful here. i was naive and thought it was true, that my past would hold me back so i tried to let it all go. i only realized they were wrong after i was all alone." yunjin began braiding the other side of your head and asked, "so how'd you fix it?" you answered, "i met people who were like me and i made friends and talked to people. i tried to do things that reminded me of home, like being around you guys." yunjin finished your two braids and you turned around to see her smiling at you fondly. she could see the slight pain hidden behind your gaze as you recall one of the harder times in your life.

yunjin sighed and blurted out, "you smell like home." for a moment she froze and you pulled away and asked, "like new york? cuz that's not a complement if i smell like a new york street." yunjin laughed and answered nervously, "no you just...i don't know you're just- whenever i'm with you i feel at home." she moved down to the floor mattress you laid out earlier that night, knowing somi and aeri would be laid out on the couch like they are now.

you laid side by side as you told yunjin, "it feels like that with you too, like i'm back in the states just living without worries like now." yunjin bit her lip debating on if she wanted to do this now, but she caved into herself, "that's not what i meant but it's okay." you turned to face her, now laying on your side as you asked, "what did you mean then?"

yunjin felt her heart begin to race and she tried to brush it off, "no there's nothing." but you were determined to understand what she meant so you asked, "no, talk to me. what's going on in your head? tell me. i want to know, i want to know everything about you." of course yunjin knew that you weren't ever going to force her to speak, so she still had an out if she wanted to just not continue the conversation. however, she was tired doing this same dance with you where she almost admitted her feelings then ran away at the last minute. she knew that even if you didn't feel the same way that you wouldn't let that ruin the friendship you already have so she bit the bullet.

there was a pause then yunjin huffed and confessed "when i'm with you i feel safe, like i have nothing to worry about. i can just be myself and i know you'll never judge me or leave because i express myself the way i want to. whenever i'm not with you, you're still living in my head...all of my thoughts, they're shaped like you. i love you and i love being around you and being with you and i never want to leave your side which is why i try not to come too close because i can't risk fucking this up. but here i am telling you what i told myself i'd take to the grave so...just promise me if this screwed everything up and judging by your silence i think it did- just pretend it never happened and leave somi and aeri out of thi-" you refused to let her talk herself into thinking she ruined everything, "i love you too."

yunjin's breath caught in her throat and you repeated, "i love you too, huh yunjin. i love you so much and i love being around you and with you too." she sat up so she was upright then looked back down at you until you were sitting beside her. the small nightlight on your hallway outlet was the only thing allowing you to see her eyes locked on yours. you inched closer to her and brought your arms to rest on her shoulders while her hands were on your waist. her long fingernails scratched the ribbing of your tank top while your fingers twirled with a piece of her hair.

her forehead pressed against yours and you whispered, "what does this make us then?" yunjin shrugged and giggled which made you smile, "i dunno but we can figure it out together?" you asked, "yeah?" she nodded and you noticed how she eyed your two friends who were asleep tangled together yet half off the couch. she looked back at you and asked, "so when do we tell them?" you scrunched your nose and placed a gentle peck on yunjin's lips. the red haired woman paused then kissed you twice more, "who says we have to?" right when you pressed your lips against hers for the last time, a bright flash lit up your entire living room. you both looked over and aeri smacked somi's arm as she soft whisper yelled, "what part of NO FLASH did you not understand?" the two smiled as big as they could from ear to ear before yunjin let out a huff and sighed, "you all suck."

#kpop fanfic #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #kpop imagines #girl group fluff #girl group reactions #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #lesserafim reactions #le sserafim imagines #le sserafim scenarios #huh yunjin x reader #huh yunjin #aespa giselle #somi #wlw fanfic #wlw fluff #wlw kpop

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shamelest · 1 year ago

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notafragilething · 10 months ago

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Buck/Tommy Late Night Ramblings: The Data (the 24 hour update)

We've passed the 24 hour point of the official 911 ABC Instagram posting the Buck and Tommy hospital kiss and holy shit, it performed better than I anticipated. Views have slowed, which is to be expected, but not as much as I anticipated. So let's get into the numbers.

If you want to take a minute to review what they were last night, check out 5/5 nightly BuckTommy ramble post here.

First major news is that multiple other videos were uploaded today, which brings the total number of reels on the official account to 113 with the average view count of 379k (so that has remained unchanged).

The hospital kiss has, as of the time I'm posting this, had 791k views, 75k in likes and 2k in comments. When we compare that to last night, it was an increase of 256k in views (so roughly a quarter million on it's second day), 19k in likes and 500 additional comments.

Overall, it moved from being the 22nd most viewed reel on the Instagram to 9th most viewed reel. The fact it was able to break the top 10 already shows just how much engagement this video is getting.

I also went down and broke down the top 11 videos so we can look at those closer.

Happy 1-18 Day (15 weeks ago): 4.1 million views

Trailer for Season 7 - Day of Premiere (7 weeks ago): 2.2 million

The Bachelor Promo (4 weeks ago): 1.4 million

The Bachelor Promo 2 (4 weeks ago): 1.4 million

Wedding Cliffhanger Scene / End of Episode 4 (3 weeks ago): 1.3 million

Happy Holidays from Angela (19 weeks ago): 1.1 million

Oliver Making a Basket on set of episode 4 (5 weeks ago): 927k

Name the Season Episode Title (1 week ago): 926k

Buck and Tommy Hospital Kiss & Coming Out (1 day ago): 791k

Buck Coming out to Eddie (3 weeks ago): 764k

JLH Song for Wedding (3 days ago): 753k

So a few observations about these:

I include 11 reels because I don't really consider the Happy 1-18 a good representation of the top videos. That clip is only a few seconds long and loops really quickly. That explains why it has 4 million views compared to everything else.

Most of these videos have been up 3+ weeks to pull these type of numbers.

I think it's interesting the Madney/Chimney song video is pulling very similar numbers as the Buck/Tommy kiss in the same time frame. This, to me, suggests a similar appeal to the ships in regards to how fans are engaging. Which is a very, very good sign. It also passed the Buddie coming out scene which honestly surprised me. I didn't anticipate that happening so quickly.

Comments also remain overwhelming positive.

I'm gong to update the numbers tomorrow night but I don't predict a huge movement in it's overall place. As you can see, spot 8 and up are basically at the million and higher mark. I do have confidence that this video will eventually hit that but when that will be is determined by how quickly the views slow down (which naturally occurs as we get further and further away from the date it's posted).

I've also decided to keep doing these nightly BuckTommy rambles so please follow, comment and send me ideas of what you'd like me to talk about.

#911 abc #evan buckley #bucktommy #tommy kinard #tevan #firepilot

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lovegalor333 · 4 months ago

Text

fresh start

part eight (chapter 22-24) previous part • next part

word count: 6.8k

content warnings: mentions of su*cide homophobia self-h*rm

Lily

Kelsey, Kayla and I had met for lunch and were sat together in the cafeteria waiting for Paige and the girls to finish their workout.

"How many follow requests do you have now?" Kelsey asks peering over my shoulder as I scroll on my phone.

"I think it's at like twelve thousand." I say as I navigate to Instagram to check, "Twelve thousand, one hundred and sixty three." I confirm.

Paige tagged me in a story for the first time this morning and after the pictures and videos of us after the game came out, of course people have been curious as to who I am. I have a private page so all people can see is my profile picture and that induces enough anxiety I know I'm not ready for them to see my whole feed just yet.

"You're going to be famous! Have you seen the TikTok edits?" My roommate asks, practically bouncing in her seat.

"Yes, but have you seen the comments?" My stomach flips at the memory of last night.

I stayed off of social media for as long as possible after the game just to avoid the initial reaction to Paige and me but as soon as I went on TikTok, I was inundated. Despite everyone telling me to not open the comments, I did and I couldn't stop scrolling once I started.

Of course there were nice comments too but the ones that stood out, the ones that have stayed in my head have been the nasty ones. A lot of people have enjoyed telling me how ugly and disgusting I am, how I don't deserve Paige and how she could do so much better.

"Girl, you have to ignore those. They're coming from literal children that are jealous. Do you know how much hate I got when I first started hanging out with the team?" Kayla chimes in.

"Does it get any better?" I half laugh, half huff hoping her answer is yes.

"Once they realise you're not going anywhere, it'll ease up. It's part and parcel of WAG life unfortunately, someones always going to want to be you." Kayla says and I'd be lying if I said the haters weren't planting seeds of doubt in my mind about whether I'm strong enough for this.

"I couldn't workout multiple times a day! I don't know how they do it." Kelsey lightens the mood as she nibbles on her cookie.

"Me either." I agree and gulped down the remainder of my water hoping it would ease the sudden headache that I had.

I got up to refill my bottle and was hit with a random wave of intense dizziness. If it wasn't 1PM on a Tuesday you'd think I was drunk.

"Your neck is kinda red Lils." Kayla says pointing towards my neck as I joined her and Kelsey again.

My hand instinctively goes to my neck and its warm to the touch and slightly itchy and that's when I realise what's happening.

"Shit!" I exclaim grabbing the empty salad box from the table in front of me and I scan the ingredients list frantically.

"What's happening?" Kayla asks leaning towards me.

"I think I'm having an allergic reaction. Actually...I know I'm having an allergic reaction." I breath out in jagged breaths as I start to panic but also because I was most likely going into anaphylaxis.

"Holy fuck!" Kelsey exclaims, standing up, "Where's your EpiPen?"

"In my bag." I tell her and I suddenly feel extremely sick and as if I'm about to faint.

My body temperature is rising and I feel disoriented and confused.

Kelsey hands me my EpiPen and I administer it they way I was taught. Removing the blue safety cap and quickly jabbing it into to my thigh, but my lightheadedness only increases and I know for sure I'm about to faint.

Paige

The doors to the gym swing open and smack into the wall causing us to all turn and see who had made such a loud entrance.

"Kelsey?" I say confused as Lilys best friend hurries in the gym, "I know I said I'd meet y'all and one o'clock but I'm not that late." I laugh glancing at the time and seeing it's only ten past the hour.

Kelsey shakes her head as she reaches me breathless, "It's not that. It's Lily, we had to call 911."

It feels as though I've been hit by a truck, my knees go weak and almost buckle beneath me and I felt vomit rise in my throat.

"What?!" I exclaim, scrambling to grab my phone from the floor to check if I'd missed anything, "What happened?"

"She had a reaction. We think she ate something containing nuts, the ambulance is on the way." Kelsey explains and I look towards my teammates almost as though I was stuck in place, unable to move.

"Go!" Nika urges throwing me the t-shirt she had over her shoulder because I was dressed in just a sports bra and shorts after our workout.

I catch the shirt and hurry after Kelsey out of the gym.

"Text me!" Azzi calls after me and I don't have time to reply, I'm just focused on getting to Lily as quickly as possible.

The usual quick walk from the gym to the cafeteria felt like it took hours even when I was running. I finally see the ambulance as Kelsey and I rounded the corner and the sight of the vehicle calmed me slightly knowing Lily was in safe hands.

"Lily?" I called out as we jogged into the cafeteria, although I don't know why, I didn't expect her to respond. From what Kelsey had said, she was in a bad way.

"Oh my god, Lily." When I see her, she's already laid on a stretcher, an oxygen mask secured over her mouth and nose, her is sleeve rolled up and there's an IV connected to her arm.

Her eyes are in an inbetween state of half opened and half closed, she looks as though she's just falling asleep or waking up.

"Is someone coming in the ambulance?" The paramedic asks looking at all of us around Lily.

"Me." I say on impulse.

"I'll follow in my car." Kayla says gathering her belongings.

I follow behind the paramedics wheeling Lily to the ambulance and pull the shirt Nika gave me over my head.

"Is she going to be OK?" I timidly ask the paramedics as they load Lily into the ambulance.

"She administered the adrenaline quickly so she'll be fine. With anaphylaxis, there can be a biphasic response, a secondary reaction, so it's best to be at the hospital in case that happens."

"Paige..." I hear Lilys low, muffled voice call out my name.

"Hey, I'm here." I say tenderly reaching for her hand as the ambulance begins to drive.

Her eyes are still heavy and hooded and if I didn't know better, I'd think she was drunk or high. She tries to pull down her oxygen mask, "Keep that on pretty girl, it's helping you." I say moving her hand away.

The journey to the hospital was quick and mostly silent apart from my words of encouragement to my girlfriend. Her eyes would flicker open every now and then and she'd squeeze my hand, communicating without words.

We were put in a room as soon as we arrived and multiple doctors and nurses bustled in and out tending to Lily.

I listen intently to each thing they said. Lily was being treated with more adrenaline, oxygen and fluids intravenously. She would make a full recovery.

"We'd like to keep you here for a few hours, Miss Kent. Just to monitor your condition and ensure there isn't a secondary reaction. Your blood pressure is increasing so you should start to feel normal again soon." The nurse says to Lily before excusing herself, leaving us alone.

"How are you feeling?" I ask walking over to Lilys bedside.

She pulls down the oxygen mask and I let her this time, "Better." She says, her voice weak and childlike.

"Good because you had me scared me for a second." I say smoothing down her hair.

"I was scared too." She tells me and she begins to silently cry, tears running down her face. "I've always had a pretty good handle on my allergy, this made me feel so...out of control."

"Oh Lily," I say wiping her tears as they fall, "accidents happen baby. You handled it exactly the way you should have. I'm proud of you." I tell her wrapping her in a hug as best I could while she was laid down and I was stood over her.

"I'm usually so careful with checking ingredients but I must have missed something." She continues and pushes herself up slightly so she's sitting.

"I know, but you're OK Lily," I reassure her, my hand cupping her cheek, "you can't blame yourself, things get missed sometimes and we can't help that, we just have to deal with it and you did."

"I don't even remember what happened clearly. I just remember my head hurting so bad and then all of a sudden I was on a stretcher with this mask on and you were there, with no shirt on." She weakly jokes raising her brows cheekily, "I think that's what brought me back to life."

I laugh, "Still got a sense of humour, I see. I worked hard on these abs, glad to know they're saving lives."

"Maybe if you flash them again, we'll get out of here quicker."

"Or maybe you're blood pressure will raise too much and we'll be here all night, so relax please."

Lily was discharged from hospital four hours later, with two new EpiPens and antihistamines that she needed to take for the next few days.

Kayla drove us all back to campus and dropped me off with Lily and Kelsey at their apartment.

"Thank you, K." Lily says as we climb out of the car.

"No worries, Lil. Get some rest." Kayla replies and waves us goodbye.

"I don't think I can even make it to the apartment, my legs feel like jello." Lily says holding onto my arm in support.

"I don't don't spend hours in the gym for nothing." I say crouching down in front of her so I could give her a piggyback ride, "Hop on."

Lily climbs on my back and I carry her into the apartment block and into the elevator. We follow Kelsey through the front door and I lower Lily onto her bed.

"What would I do without you?" She says reaching out for me.

"Don't even think about that, you've got me." I say and we lay side by side on her bed in comfortable silence.

"So how about seeing those abs." Lily says after a while, her hand trailing up under my shirt and I laugh.

"Anything for you."

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

Lily

I was finally starting to feel better after my allergic reaction a few days ago and just starting to get back to normal again after taking time off work and away from classes to recover.

I've always been extremely careful with my allergy, taking extra care when I eat out to make sure everything is safe and up until now I've managed to never have such a severe reaction so in a way I felt like I have failed. I couldn't keep myself safe. I couldn't do the one thing that really matters and it scared me. What if it happens again? And even worse, what if I'm alone when it happens? I was lucky to have my friends by my side this time. I was used to being in control and being so out of control wasn't something I wanted to experience again.

I force myself to stop thinking so negatively because that never ends well and I walk out of my bedroom and into our living room. All my roommates were out so I was home alone, not that I minded much.

Every surface was home to a beautiful bunch of flowers, gifted to me by my friends, people I worked with and of course Paige. Paiges bouquet was the most extravagant and took pride of place in the centre of our dining table. I smiled as I passed the full vases feeling very thankful for my friends and girlfriend.

I had held off calling home and telling my parents about my hospital visit because I knew it would turn into a lecture of some kind but Thanksgiving was coming up and I needed to know our plans because I'd be going back to Boston for a few days.

I settled myself into the couch, pulling a fluffy blanket over the bottom half of my body and pressed call on my moms contact. The dialling tone rang and rang and rang until I was eventually met with her answering machine. I decided to try my dad and I just as I thought he wasn't going to pick up either, at the last second he did.

"Hello, Lily." My dads voice spoke stern and serious as always through my phone.

"Hi, Dad. I tried to call Mom but I got her voicemail. Is everything OK? I wanted to talk to you both." I say.

"Your mother is here with me now."

Weird.

"Oh, why didn't she pick up?" I ask confused. If my mom wasn't busy then why had she avoided my call?

I hear my moms muffled voice through the phone but I can't quite make out what she is saying but her tone didn't sound happy.

"Dad?"

"Lily, listen. You're mother has been seeing stuff online. About you. You...and a girl. Another girl."

My entire body freezes as my dad speaks and I feel my heart rate spike.

Why did this sound like a problem?

"Right..." I say wanting my dad to continue with whatever point he was trying to make.

"You said you wanted to leave Boston for a fresh start and it seems nothing has changed." My dads words hit like knives.

"I-I left for a fresh start because I tried to kill myself. I didn't come to Connecticut for conversion therapy. I came to move on from everything that happened." I croak out as my mouth has completely dried up and it feels as though my throat is closing.

My mom continues to speak but I still can't make out her words, "You speak to her then, Jackie." My dad says as I hear my mom huff and the phone being passed over.

"If you left to move on then why are you still living the same way? With this- this Paige girl! And so publicly! It's like you want the entire world to know. The entire world does know! It's all anyone asks me about. It makes me sick." My mom shouted at me to the point of breathlessness.

I felt blindsided. I was so confused. My parents had been fine with me and my ex, they were happy for me to come to Connecticut.

"I don't understand where this has come from. You had no problem with me and Mia-"

"We didn't know about you and Mia until it was over and Mia...she's turned her life around. We thought you would have too." My mom continues her rant and all my emotions begin to blend into one, there are tears streaming down my face but I've never been angrier.

"What do you mean 'turned her life around'?" I ask although I know exactly what she meant.

"She's fixed. Whatever you had with her was just a phase and rightly so! She has a handsome boyfriend now and is very happy." My mom solidifies my assumptions and I feel sick to my stomach.

"And I'm very happy with my beautiful girlfriend." I say trying to steady my voice to not make it obvious that I was crying.

My mom lets out a ridiculous child-like cry as if I'd just died.

"Lily that's enough. You're making your mom upset." My dads voice comes through the phone again and I laugh in irony.

"I was calling about Thanksgiving plans and to tell you guys I had a bad reaction and was in the hospital." I spit, anger laced in my words.

"She's not coming back here for Thanksgiving. Everyone knows!" My moms voice rings out clear and unforgiving.

"Jackie-" My dad begins to reason but I end the call before I hear anything more.

I didn't need to hear anything more.

I sit lifeless on the couch just staring ahead so many thoughts and feelings swirling around inside of me but simultaneously feeling completely numb and void of emotion.

What had just happened?

I moved robotically back to my room, my phone still clutched in my hands as if I was waiting for my dad to call me back and apologise for what had been said but I knew all too well that that wouldn't happen. I knew my parents too well. I was stupid to believe they were OK with who I was in the first place but did they really think that coming to Connecticut would somehow change who I loved?

I stood in my bedroom contemplating what to do. That phone call had changed everything. My mom had made it clear that I wasn't welcome at home. Home. Could I even call it that anymore? Just as things were beginning to plateau, just as I was starting to genuinely feel happy again, it felt like someone was playing a sick joke on me.

I felt the overwhelming urge to cope with this in the only way I knew how to cope with anything that hurt me mentally and that was to feel it physically.

Paiges words from weeks ago played on repeat in my head as I searched my room for something to hurt myself with.