#inspired by snowball attack meme

[jeeaark]

that ending is EVERYTHING.

it's perfect.

I love GG smooching babe.

I love babe NOT attacking emps ( She's going to kick his ass at water polo tho, and maybe hit him with a pool noodle) emps outfit. THE OUTFIT. the lack of complaints. YES. HE'S GOING TO HANG OUT WITH EVERYONE! 10/10! HE'S OFF PROBATION! (for now)

Moments before the Great Pool Noodle Pandemonium ensues

had to draw one more silly, what a lovely thought, those two developing a fun sportsmanship-like rivalry instead of well-to the death

[northwest-cryptid]

I think being born when I was sort of made me immune to the "oh god it's HOMESTUCK" vibe.

Like I get it, the fandom is a whole mess, the comic is long running and has had huge cultural impact on the internet and thus the world at large for my generation and the following generation given our connection with the internet.

I won't deny that I "get it" when people make HS out to be some big thing, to say "there will never be another web comic like Homestuck" isn't a false statement at all, as even long after it's ending the remnants of it continue to crop up in things like Undertale allowing it a natural passage into modern relevance. I mean it sounds absurd to say that the fucking Pope has heard a song that originates from Homestuck yet that's the world we're living in.

However at the end of the day Homestuck has always just been "a web comic" to me. I've picked it up before, read a few arcs into it and got bored; put it down and watched plot summaries. I've listened to the OST (yea it has one of those which sounds weird but, yea it's pretty good.) I've heard all the memes. I can identify the big ones, Dave Strider, Vriska, ... That weird frog thing at the very end that like makes a universe or is a universe or something?

But I have never really "got" two big things. One of those being the hype around it in the sense of like "oh no it's HOMESTUCK! Oh god oh no oh fuck we are all doomed, the unspeakable evil is upon us!" And trust me this is after I accidentally introduced a friend of mine to a couple of people in troll cosplay because I was like "you could use some friends, oh hey there's some goths you like goths let's go say hi!" My one attempt at helping a friend make some friends resulted in said cosplayers being like "hey man you want some hard drugs?" Which kind of snowballed. SO LIKE YEA I understand why people might find the loud majority of the fandom to be a bit odd, but couldn't you say that about literally any fandom? I'm being real here, I've been a part of a ton of fandoms and by and large the loud majority are typically cringe and annoying to even the people who DO like the thing.

The second thing I never got was the hype for the actual web comic. Every time I try to read it I get bored. I understand the concept, I understand the general plot, I don't even think the concept is bad or anything. But ironically my reason for reading it is to better understand the world building and the characters and the plot and when it tries to explain those things I sit there like "when do we get to [big pop culture thing] I was warned about the [big pop culture thing]." Which may just be my ADHD acting up but I never found the narrative or characters or anything about it to necessarily be super gripping to me.

Whenever I say I'm considering trying to read it again I typically get one of those two kinds of hype from people in response. People who think it's the bane of existence and I should "remain pure and innocent" as if I didn't grow up during the PEAK of its popularity and don't already know about it, the things that inspired it, and literally lived through going to conventions with HS meetups. Or I get people who are so excited that I'm finally going to bear witness to the holy experience that is HS, and then they get super let down when I get bored because I'm like "this dudes stuck in his home, is that it? Is that why it's called that?"

Maybe I'm weird or boring or whatever, like maybe it's all one big joke and I'm just not playing along because I don't get it and I'm being super lame like that time I went around on April fool's spoiling all the pranks because I thought it was stupid to randomly pretend to have an asthma attack since someone could actually have an asthma attack and the teachers wouldn't know because some asshole who doesn't even have asthma thought that was a good prank, which it wasn't but like I didn't need to be a narc about it I was just a dumb kid. So I guess that's sorta how I feel now towards HS, like it's a joke made by my generation for my generation and somehow I don't "get it" and more often than not, that lack of knowledge has lead to me being confused by HS jokes that never made it into the pop culture.

Like yea I've osmosis'd a lot of it, I know about shit like "I warned you about the stairs bro" and such, but the second someone mentions a character by name who isn't either Dave, Vriska, or I think there's some dude named Karkat? Like I'm totally in the dark.

I assure you if you think the jokes and humor of homestuck is so bad it will do irreversible damage to my psyche you gotta understand that the internet was just sorta, like that? Back when I was growing up and the result is that if there was any damage to be done it's already done.

I don't know man maybe I'm just not one of the "cool kids" of my generation or something.

[notcatherinemorland]

welcome to marth lowel tonight : the recap post about things that have happened in the fe fandom and exactly none of us have access to anything remotely resembling chill about it, in as many words as humanly possible.

FEH has cashed right back in on it’s fatesawkening fanbase with the rest of the future past kids: the buff one with a winx club waist, the token furry, the healer skill fodder if you only felt visceral hatred for Maribelle and so never collected up her son, and everyone’s favourite and actually clothed dragon daughter. Sources report the summoning tickets somehow worked this time, I’ve seen 7 Yarnes on my dash already, and that the last of the future past kids is still camped out in the desert because we couldn’t find him in the map and rage quit the level. Also Cynthia is here, everyone clear space in your barracks, i’m gunning for 17 of her.

Yet more orbular demands have been placed upon our wallets with the the throwback banners for beloved characters that don’t stand a snowball’s chance against Muspell, stats-wise. the focus banners contain fan favourites such as Ike, Genny and Hector. This reporter read the name Lucina and, after regaining most of my cognitive function from a state resembling joy, is delighted by the opportunity to fling what few orbs i haven’t harvested in the vain attempt to un-minus attack my daughter.

Concert Hall memes have been making the rounds, everybody and their Azuras are pleased to hear a decided lack of Garons of increasing discomfort overlaid upon the audio. Now we can finally make our Takumi alts boy band and live the dream, everyone and ao3 run for cover, the songfics walked so boy band aus could run.

Everyone’s favourite godly edit blog had its scheduled weekly crisis, this time the mods were asked to stop the followers from requesting pride-themed edits, and we all somehow lost our collective remaining braincells in trying to understand the point in the entire debate. let people be gay karen, and everything in here but the pride flags is fictional, and the edits remain, indeed, godly.

E3 is allegedly a place where people talk about games, and allegedly games were talked about. somehow we all stopped making jokes about Genny and Wooloo being ready to roll for just long enough to see some three houses news once again. For those still paying attention after Nintendo UK spoiled half the plot, E3 has spoiled the remaining 40% of it. Timeskips are a legitimate plot tool - awakening is valid again -; someone’s bisexual dreams came true in Edelgard and Claude; and apparently Xander/Niles is now canon for nothing else could result in the character we suppose, by default, has to be Dimitri. Blond Snape time has given way that absolute unit, but reports say Blue Lion stans have only doubled down in their support. Out of genuine love or deep seated shame at jumping the gun, we may never know. 

For those of you wondering what the remaining 10% is, that’s the fishing mini game and I think we all agree it’s the best thing fire emblem have done since they charged us five quid to see Lissa in a party hat

In further FEH news because we’ve suddenly had more content than you can shake a falchion at, we got the entire plot of book three in a handful of sentences, and OHO has it gone from 0-60 three times over. Alfonse isn’t dead yet, Sharena finally got yote, and the trailer has been analysed to Hel and back. This reporter is enjoying the sudden influx of glorious, glorious meta, everything down to the flower petals has been picked apart meticulously, and so help me god you can pry Veronica is Thrasir from Fjorm’s cold dead hands. Perhaps next time IntSys will remember there’s a whole protagonist just waiting to kick the bucket, Laevatein is presumably still pottering around the place, and the meaning of ‘canon’ has become a tool to fire miss-matched bits of plot directly into the players’ faces.

this reporter is going to go continue not watching the direct, following the news along at home only via meme, refresh the archive in the hope that i get more content for any of the crack ships only my feh account knows about, and also re-watch a rather a lot of LWLN on youtube, as this collection of words masquerading as a coherent thought is directly inspired by the show. 

[ghosthierophant]

it’s been such a Hot Minute since they’ve been in combat i forgot about cicero’s blade LMAO

DM FOR VICTOR SECRET DM FOR JOE/VICTOR

snake: the dm reads: snow’s haunted

victor, mid-sentence: besides it’s not a big d- (looks to the ground)

dash: what?

victor, laughing, touching a bone: curious.

hellebore: what?

victor drops it: just wondering... 

INSIGHT CHECKS

VICTOR DECEPTION CRITS DECEPTION CRIT 25

VICTOR GETS INSPIRATION

Logan: 6 Crit Fail Investigation on the bones RTGU8IOJKRGFTB

.

victor: dash, last night i had a dream that you died here. funny that (struts away)

IOGTJKREWFRGBUIFJEFGBUJ

joe: sometimes it’s fun to play with the dumb one

(hellebore throws a snowball at victor RIGHT IN THE PANTENE HAIR)

fgjhkergfhrght

.

(victor fails a CON save and is paralyzed and crit hit because of his hubris)

we love that for him

eli, the pokemon master, with 2 summons now

keres, shaking her head at victor: Hubris

pinchy: ARE YOU FROZEN BY HUBRIS? / HILARIOUS

(keres gives inspiration to victor after her crit)

NOW HE’S A LITTLE MOTIVATED

(keres and logan thumbs up moment) pog

dash with 2 1hp left attacks......... CALCIUM......... CALCIUM.........

snake: i wish i could catapult a rat but i know i can’t

IRGEUFBJKGFBUIJ

victor/joe: i bear my fangs

ayo........................... 

VICTOR MISSES AND FUCKING WALKS AWAY AND GETS AOPED THIS IS HAPPENING SO MUCH

victor/joe: I JUST WALK AWAY I JUST WALK AWAY - i need to make the meme hold on

victor, profusely bleeding: i don’t care i don’t care

.

(victor drains a rat to fucking heal with a Fanged Bite)

................................. i am pushing down my impure thoughts i am pushing them down i am pushing them down i am

brett: victor is looking very lestat right now

BRETT YOU’RE NOT HELPING

dodger: handsome and flushed and covered with blood

.

victor, to dash: you’re offering your own sustenance? very well

dash: n-no! i was uh, i can do a little bit of healing if that can help you

victor grimaces: fine

HERE COMES THE WEIRD PURPLE MAGIC

(unlike burning radiant energy, a soothing cool enters the wound. for the first time, healing magic that doesn’t feel Terrible to you - almost invigorating to you)

victor, amused: you are different, aren’t you? what exactly flows thru your veins? what have you got inside of you, dash?

dash: uh, normal stuff i think

victor: no, no, not at all - take it from someone who spent a lot of time studying the most Rare forms of magic and theories behind it and practicality behind it. you’ve got something Dark in you

dash stands: do you... do you think you know what this is?

victor: likely not, but do i think i could find out? Absolutely

ARCANA OR RELIGION, VICTOR: IT’S PRETTY HIGH

you realize that it’s an energy directly linked to the shadow veil 

victor: do... tell me, have you ever been to the shadow veil?

dash: what, no?

victor: in my... younger years i spent a lot of time entertaining guests and studying the Darker magicks of life / that magic in particularly is probably the most Dangerous, but also the most Mysterious. for some reason, your body - your soul - your mind of some kind is channeling from there. perhaps you were cursed, perhaps you have some sort of connection to it... but someway, some how, sweet little dash is connected to the shadow veil

dash: i don’t.. i don’t understand, i don’t know why that would be

victor: that’s the fascinating part, isn’t it? of course you’d expect those who channel that kind of magic to be like myself, or maybe even the little chaotic like the wee rat-loving one 

(hellebore and logan stare at victor with their hands on their hips)

victor: but that’s the fascinating thing, isn’t it. you’re good-hearted. uncorrupted. so why is it coursing thru You? why do you have this Natural Affinity for it? That is Very, Very curious

PHASE 3 THREAD!!!! 

[lyravellas]

Here There Be Gerblins Part 1: TAZ Pre-Finale Relisten Recap

I’m doing the uncut version.  Pray for me.

Travis has his entire character and backstory locked and loaded prior to the pilot.  Justin has come up with the name Taako.  Both of these things are equally ridiculous in completely different ways.

BONUS:  Justin: “I’m playing a wizard and his name is spelled T-A-A-K-O.”  Travis: “So like… Tae… Tae-koh?”  Justin:  “Well, I mean, it’s-”  Griffin: “Is your wizard named… are you naming your god damn wizard Taco?”

Travis describes Magnus’s stats as “everything’s twenties across the board, plus twenties on all of his skill checks, and he has a magic sword that kills people in one hit” and the fact that this is NOT ACTUALLY THAT FAR OFF FROM CURRENT MAGNUS is absolutely wild

Taako was originally an acolyte of Oghma, god of wizardly shit. That tidbit got dusted real fast, probably for the best.

Clint actually says that Merle being a good dancer is a character trait in this episode.  In the Legato/Voidfish loop Clint studies interpretive jazz dance at the conservatory.  Good job Clint

Motion to make points of inspiration being fucking useless into an IPRE meme even though that doesn’t make any sense.

When Clint remarks about his inexperience with D&D Travis actually says, word for word, “I honestly believe that dad is going to be the best one at this game. I mean skill, you gotta roll your dice and not blow it.”  Holy shit does this particular tune change.  Poor Clint and his cursed rolls.

Clint describes some no-bakes that Justin made and Griffin says he should be the one DMing the game.  Clint McElroy superhero campaign for next arc confirmed?

Travis proposes ‘Steve Smith’ as an alternative name for Gundren Rockseeker.  ‘Here lies the town of Phandalin, tragically destroyed by Steve Smith’ is one hell of a concept.

Fun fact: The very first roll in The Adventure Zone is to MapQuest fucking Phandalin.

Barry Bluejeans is undeniably a Very Good Name.  However, it’s also pretty god damn easy to come up with a better name than Sildar Hallwinter, which sounds like what you’d get if you stuffed a broom handle up someone’s ass and asked them to freestyle some baby names.

Ruby the tiny pet bulldog that looks like two butts with some legs in the middle is my favorite character and I hope she’s okay.

“I’m studying my cantrips.”  “YOU CAN JUST SAY MASTURBATING DAD”

Pretty much the moment I personally was like “Well I guess the McElroys own my ass now”

The first thing Merle tries to do in combat is cast a buff on the party and Griffin tells him not to do it to conserve spell slots.  And thus, Merle’s shitty cleric origin story begins.

Taako gets the first kill of the campaign.  He’s helped out quite a bit by Merle, though, who gets the first attack of the campaign.  Magnus gets the first ‘leap off of shit and do something vaguely ridiculous’ action of the campaign.

Holy shit.  Justin’s original Taako voice is absolutely ridiculous.  It’s like an affected snake inhaled helium and also knew how to speak English.  

“You could roll an investigation check on the dead horses.”  “I rolled a two.”  “You’re like ‘Wow look at these big dead dogs’”  

Side note:  I just got my brother into TAZ today and he absolutely lost his shit at this part.

Merle successfully casts a buff on Magnus in their second fight against an overpass gerblin.  I think I might need to start a ‘Merle’s not actually a shitty cleric’ tally.

Taako chilling on the overpass while Merle and Magnus get pachinko’d around the cave by a wall of water is pretty much par for the course in terms of the THB dynamic later on and I love it.

The “I got too horny from the killing” goof is the weirdest source of nostalgia for me because even though this podcast snowballed into a wonderful amalgamation of comedy, emotion, and joy from that point forward, it is also just objectively a dude talking about how killing someone made him horny.  So.

I’m keeping a running list of Shit That Probably Isn’t Technically Canon Anymore But Is Still Canon In My Soul.  So far I’ve got:

Taako carries around a copy of “Seven Habits of Highly Effective Elves”.  Three of these habits are “looking at trees”, “long hair”, and “hackey sack”. 

Merle has 1,999 party points.

Magnus carries a vanity mirror with him everywhere he goes to touch up his sideburns on Sundays.

I also think I’m going to be keeping a running list of “Things That Could Potentially Be Useful If The McElroys Remember Them”.  So far I’ve got:

Taako’s fucking “Seven Habits of Highly Effective Elves” bathroom reader apparently allows him to rest once per day and recover some expended spell slots, somehow.

Apparently Taako has a couple cantrips called “Shield” and “Mage Armor”.  I have no idea what these things do but considering Taako’s clownshit AC throughout the campaign I assume they might have been useful at some point earlier on in the game?

Taako has advantage on saving throws against being charmed and magic can’t put him to sleep hot damn flipwizard got skills

That’s it for this episode!  It was a very fucking long one.  Have a lovely fantasy day!

[amcizing-blog]

tag dump!

[ravenousarbors]

get to know me tag meme!

I was tagged by @eivri but I only just now noticed two days late I’M SORRY OOPS (and I’m coding all this on my phone, weeps) BUT THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME~~ \○/

tag 20 people I want to get to know: @three-of-swords @hraap and uh. ANYONE WHO SEES THIS WHO WANTS TO~~~~! ☆

name: Nico

nickname: your god

gender: fluid, but most often male. Seeing people use male pronouns for me makes me happy because so few people acknowledge that part of me. (u///v///u)

star sign: Capricorn! Which is apparently a mergoat so that’s pretty cool. I’m fascinated with the awe-inspiring world that is the ocean, but I can neither swim well nor breathe underwater. Does this mean I won’t drown???

height: 5'7" last I checked (which was two years ago) but no one can agree… I prefer to say “taller than you”

sexual orientation: biiiiiiii as the night skyyyyyyy

hogwarts house: hufflepuff. Once upon a time, I joined Pottermore and was sad to be sorted into the badgers, known only for eating and…finders??? I wanted to be a hero, not a slob living in the kitchens, or that dead kid from Goblet of Fire. But then I read the welcome letter from the Hufflepuff prefect. Amazing people had been Hufflepuffs, INVENTORS, even! And AND! We have the fewest Death Eaters from our house of ALL THE HOUSES! Founder of Hogsmeade? Hufflepuff. And I guess everybody knows that Newt Scamander guy now. Seriously go read the welcome letter. We’re some of the nicest people you’ll meet. (And the prefect is the least pretentious.)

favorite color: cobalt blue and teal. Also when a rainbow of pastels are all grouped together in a flawless composition of adorable beauty. But I also love Fall colors, especially wrapped up in a scarf, sweater, and gloves… But blue is my favorite.

favorite animal: ooooh that’s so hard…uh. it’s tied between deer, owls, ravens, jellyfish, octopuses, and wolves. My favorite changes day to day depending on what gorgeous animal I am currently viewing. Trivia? When I was like nine it was white Bengal Tigers. I did a report.

average hours of sleep: lately? 8 to 10. When I’m working, I sleep anywhere from 5 to 8. But I’m jobless right now and a little depressed so ha ha ha ha ha…… ;;;

number of blankets I sleep with: eleventy. No, you don’t understand, we have two kittens who attack our toes at a moment’s notice. They will pounce and claw and wiggle their way up under the covers to get to our legs and then KILL US. I have a sheet and four blankets. Two of them thick quilts. But only one blanket I pull up to my chin; the rest are leg armor.

cat or dog person: cats. I used to be able to say both, but my mom’s husky is a hellion, completely untrained 8-year-old asshole that destroys everything you love. So now I’m coming to hate dogs. That’s okay though, I’m too chill for them.

favorite fictional characters: Allen Walker, Gansey, Ronan, Adam, Noah, Blue, Nico di Angelo, Karkat, the Cheshire Cat from the original book, Alice from Wonderland, Edmund Pevensie and Lucy Pevensie. Basically all people I relate to and/or aspire to be. In no particular order.

favorite bands/singers: My Chemical Romance, Owl City, and a bunch of indie artists I don’t know the names of. I love alt rock, dreamy shit, and folk indie. Lately my favorite playlist has been this Kid Loki playlist. I can’t get enough of it.

dream trip: all of Italy the PJO crew hit up in HOO. I wanna experience all of it right along with them, again, first hand. Like I’m reading the books all over again… Also, I have to see Venice before it goes underwater. One of these days, it will no longer exist. I also wanna go visit Shibuya with my parabatai and soul brother, @three-of-swords. There will be so many pictures.

dream job: I’m gonna be a private investigator in New York. I’d also like to do some voice acting and visual art work on the side. Mostly paint and graffiti work. All those cool detective shows–Psych, White Collar–that’s gonna be me.

when was your blog created? shit, idk. My first account was a couple years ago? I was still in college. Then two years ago I made deathcomesinallcolors for PJO and roleplay inspiration purposes. It just…snowballed from there. Side blog after side blog… This one I made after I finished TRC, so. Shortly after the Raven King came out?

current number of followers: 12. I’m PRETTY sure five of them are people? And you’re all AWESOME.

what made you decide to make a tumblr? I first started reading PJO when I was a senior in high school. Too little, too late. I was too old for Camp and too young for the world to take seriously. Once I hit college, I found tumblr. I just wanted to save and share cool shit. Then Maggie Stiefvater sent a raven to bite my earlobe off, and I fell headlong into TRC. Now here we are, in the shitland that is tumblr today. Who knew it would turn out like this. But I guess there are still some cool people. Mostly just good literature, though.

[tokyoteddywolf]

Even More Russian Antics

ahahahahaha i can’t stop making these :D

updates, how to get kicked out of russia, and i like how they turned out. So have a laugh! (No skaters were harmed in the making of these little pranks. Possibly. Well, what else do you expect from Yurio???)

Enjoy 41-80!

333 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of The Rink And Russia Itself

1. Switch the drinks at the banquet with random condiment liquids.

   Yuuri was more than confused when he went to drink some of the fruit punch and found it was just watery filtered ketchup with lemons thrown in. Yurio was nowhere to be seen.

2. Hit people with pirozhki's.

This backfired on Yurio when Viktor's hair became a victim. He went MIA after said older Russian skater finally caught him….

3. Walk up to some old geezer and yell, “Grandpa! You're alive! It's a miracle!”

Viktor wouldn't stop sulking under the benches in the locker rooms when Yuuri tried this….

4. Dart around suspiciously humming the Mission: Impossible theme song.

Everyone was highly concerned for Phichit's mental state.

5. Buy several dozen fishing rods. Go on the roof and test them out, saying you're fishing for toupees.

Mila caught 35, Yurio got 31, and Georgi won with a staggering 108.

6. Hold Barbie hostage.

Yurio didn't really mind, Otabek was his friend after all. Besides, he quite liked the horrified looks of his fans when the Kazakhstan skater grabbed him as he sped by on his motorcycle.

7. TP as much of the rink as you can.

Nobody suspected innocent Yuuri to be good with his throwing arm, but almost every inch of the rink was covered in toilet paper. Viktor was automatically blamed.

8. Hide in the skate racks. Whenever someone comes to grab a pair, yell “Pick me! Pick me!”

Yuuko was incredibly unimpressed when the triplets pulled this prank on their father. However, hearing Takeshi scream like a child was worth it, and they all got ice cream that night.

9. Dress as Batman and burst into the rink screaming, “Come Robin! To the Batmobile!”

Guang-Hong was just extremely confused at Leo's antics, wondering if all Americans were this weird.

10. Challenge people to duels with wrapping paper.

It was the best birthday yet, in Viktor's opinion.

11. Buy several singing toy Viktor's from Amazon, and once you have them, set them up on the ice and get your friends to turn them on. Proceed to act like a conductor.

Yuuri was actually really good at anything music related. The impromptu concert certainly amused the others.

12. Go up to random people and poke them. If they ask what you're doing, inform them that you're trying to find out what they ate for breakfast.

Georgi got kicked across the room when he tried this on Yurio.

13. Leave cryptic messages all over Instagram as an anon.

Nobody knew Phichit could even scream that loud.

14. Skate around screaming “There's a dead body in here!”

Yakov was unamused at Mila's actions.

15. Go up to the Russian Fairy and say, “Yurio, I am your father.”

It wasn't even remotely funny for Viktor. It just opened up more wounds.

16. Make evil eyes at people and whisper “I am the Lady Of The Well…..i've been waiting...”

Minako's Halloween party was the bomb.

17. Ride around in a Barbie car and pretend to be a posh upperclassman, sipping vodka from a teacup and saying things like “Top hole!” and “By Jove!”

Yuuri should have never let Minako watch Doctor Who.

18. Start dancing like mad. Wave your arms and flop like a fish.

Everyone assumed Yuuri was drunk again. The ensuing dance battle was certainly better than last year.

19. Balance everything you see on the tip of your nose, fingers, on your forehead, and top of your head all while singing the circus song.

Otabek won with 4 water bottles, Yuuri's duffle bag, 5 pairs of ice skates, and Yurio, all while skating circles around Phichit, who was filming the entire thing.

20. Start singing songs through the PA system at the ice arena.

The entire skating crew all joined in on a perfect rendition of Stammi Vicino. The announcers were extremely entertained.

21. Blackmail your friend into giving you a piggy back and have them run around the town, screaming “The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming!”

The next GFP was certainly better prepared after Yuuri and Phichit gave the warning. Though Phichit on Yuuri's back was certainly a weird mode of transport….

22. Take a fishing pole, a bag of money, and go people fishing.

Georgi was still bored, and eventually caught Yurio.

23. Pretend to be Spiderman by running up walls and saving people.

Guang-Hong really had to get Leo to stop watching those superhero movies of his, this was getting ridiculous.

24. Pretend to have an asthma attack, and bite anyone who tries to help you.

Emil went to the doctor after Yurio pulled this stunt in Barcelona… that's what he got for trying to be a nice friend…..

25. Lie on the ground. Just lie there. It's guaranteed to freak people out.

Revenge for the Grampa joke. Yuuri was panicking like crazy when Viktor pulled this stunt after a failed jump.

26. Announce an ice sliding contest. Take off your skates and proceed to do just that.

The game had to stop after Georgi slid too far into the rink wall.

27. Put on a black ski mask and cape and run around declaring “Zorro has returned!”

Nobody was sure where Sara went during the hours when a masked vigilante ran rampant through Russia.

28. Protest against cat abuse.

Nobody knew what the fuck just happened after Yurio ran down the streets, completely drunk and screaming “Run my feline friends! Run!” at the head of a cat stampede.

29. Start a barbershop quartet.

Yuuri, Viktor, Chris and Phichit soon become number one on the charts with their hit song, When Drunk People Dance On Poles.

30. Dress in a trenchcoat and sunglasses, go up to random people, hand them marshmallow guns, and say, “You know what to do.”

Thus started Russia's Marshmallow War 1, thanks to Phichit stealing Viktor's clothes.

31. Go up to random people carrying a paper bag and say “Trick or treat!” When they refuse, give them puppy dog eyes.

Guang-Hong's legendary puppy eyes were something to fear.

32. Cover your hand with blue paint. Run up to someone, put your hand on their face and yell “A clue! A clue!”

Yurio's knife shoes were the talk of the town after JJ tried this on the Russian Fairy and subsequently had to go to the hospital for minor lacerations.

33. Scream really loudly and when someone asks you to be quiet, scream, “I WON'T BE SILENCED!”

Apparently, Yuuri was trying out a new anxiety coping method.

34. Grow out your hair.

Needless to say, Yuuri and Viktor disappeared for a little while once Viktor noticed how long Yuuri's hair had gotten… Yurio was disgusted.

35. Grab a can of whipped cream, find a bald guy, and spray it on him.

Yakov blasted Mila's eardrums for that one.

36. Start singing horrible karaoke.

Nobody's ears were ever the same after Mickey took the mic.

37. Loudly announce that you will be the one to win gold this year.

Yuuri actually didn't care, he just wanted to see the chaos.

38. Go magical creature hunting.

Yurio was unamused at Otabek and Phichit.

39. Run up to someone, slap them, and scream, “WHAT IS THIS?!? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!!”

Viktor stared after Yuuri in horror, holding his damaged cheek. He was just talking to Chris!

40. Fall over and scream “Ah! The pain! The terrible pain!” When someone asks what's wrong, stand up and say “Nothing, why?” and walk away as if nothing had happened.

Chris just liked making people's days a little more surreal.

41. Dress up as an emo person, and whenever someone talks to you, scream, “WHY HAVE YOU COME TO WORSEN MY MISERY?!?”

“Mila, is Georgi always like this?”

“You'll get used to it, Yuuri.”

42. Host your own radio show.

Phichit and Otabek made a great commentary team.

43. Hide a walkie-talkie somewhere and whisper, “I know where you live.”

Yuuri's scream was worth it, in Yurio's opinion.

44. Run around Russia in a swimsuit singing “Surfin' USA”

Note to self, NEVER LET LEO NEAR THE VODKA. Phichit recorded the whole thing, and Leo became a meme.

45. Look for Narnia.

Viktor thought this was hilarious when he managed to pull a dazed Yuuri out of his wardrobe.

46. Release pigs into the rink labeled 1, 2 and 4.

They lost it when Yurio calmly taped a piece of paper labeled “3” on Yuuri's back.

47. Go on a road trip.

You've seen the official art, why are you asking me?

48. Learn to play the banjo.

Once again, Yuuri dazzled the Russian Crew with his music skills, and the ensuing hoedown inspired a new routine or two.

49. Go mattress surfing.

It was Phichit's idea, and it made Detroit a lot more fun than before, in Yuuri's opinion.

50. Hold a snowball fight.

Yurio was terrifyingly good at this.

51. Sing everything you say, and when questioned, inform them that you're in a musical.

Even Yakov joined in, and Musical On Ice was a huge success.

52. Play Human Dominoes

Otabek's day just got that much better.

53. Crash a party.

Episode 10, anyone?

54. Create a giant conga line.

Jesus, how many fans did JJ have???

55. Have a rap battle.

Nobody knew Otabek could rap that fast, but he did. Very well. He was, however, beaten out by Yuuri.

56. Get a pinata and bust it open.

Yurio had taped JJ's picture on it. It was a great stress reliever.

57. Dress someone up as a chicken.

Minami had no idea what was going on, but he went along with it.

58. Play frisbee on the ice.

It wasn't a problem until they nailed Yakov in the face.

59. Write angsty and gory fanfiction.

Nobody was the same after finding Yuuri's account.

60. Stage a riot.

“WHAT?! YURATCHKA DIDN'T WIN OVER JJ???”

“THOSE BASTARDS!'

“GET THEM!”

61. When someone asks for your help, begin to cry and say, “Why won't you people leave me alone?!”

Everyone was alarmed when Celestino burst into tears every time someone asked him for help on jumps.

62. If a skater with more than one gold medal comes within 30 feet of you, scream “GET AWAY FROM ME!!!” and run out of the area.

Viktor started sobbing when everyone careened away from him, even his beloved Yuuri. JJ was just confused.

63. Glare menacingly and hiss like a pissed off cat whenever someone comes near you.

Yurio had half the town terrified, with the glares, hissing, and raising of a leg with a freshly sharpened knife shoe attached.

64. Cover your face with cream cheese and thunder down the streets of Saint Petersburg chanting “We love bagels! We love bagels!”

Another reason why Yakov needed headache medicine after he forgot the breakfast bagels one time.

65. Run around singing, “I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES!”

Yuuri hid in the lockers, only for the rest of the skater crew to bust down the door, still singing.

66. Dress up like a fairy, climb up a ladder and say to every person that passes by, “Your wish is granted!”

Drunk Yurio is best Yurio, until he started crying when he realized he was afraid of heights.

67. Ride in a Barbie sports car with Barbie in the backseat and say “Let's bust this joint!”

Yurio had to admit, that Viktor certainly had an interesting choice of vehicles to ride in.

68. Wrap a hose around you and scream, “AH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!”

The scary thing was, Guang-Hong wasn't joking.

69. Walk up to someone and act like you can read their mind, then say, “Sir/Madam… don't do that.”

Yurio was stunned speechless when Otabek told him this just seconds after he had come to the decision of cutting JJ.

70. Hit your head and say, “Shut up in there!���

Everyone was extremely concerned for Yuuri.

71. Act as though you're being beaten and fall to the ground, screaming and having convulsions.

Georgi's performance got a 10/10 rating from the rest of the skaters.

72. Swing on the banners.

Apparently, dance battles were not enough for drunk Yuuri, and soon the “Congrats On The Gold!” banner was ripped on the floor while Yuuri sobbed over his aching bum, and for once it wasn't Viktor's fault.

73. Grab heavy, but not too heavy objects and see who can throw them the farthest.

The game had to be discontinued when Seung-Gil calmly picked up Yurio.

74. Knock over all the tables at the banquet and scream, “EARTHQUAKE! EVERYBODY RUN!!!”

Phichit was having too much fun in California, and scared the living hell out of Leo when he pulled this.

75. Hold a 12 pack of vodka over your head and shout “FEAR ME AND MY ARMY OF ALCOHOL!!!”

Viktor and the Russian gang actually conquered a bit more territory for Russia this way, by invading towns and getting the villagers drunk off their asses.

76. Get popcorn and throw it at people, sneaking up to them unstealthily and screaming war cries.

Russia War 2 commenced when JJ threw the first kernel at Yurio.

77. Try on all of Viktor's old costumes and go to the rink and proceed to do the worst, overly dramatic impression of him you can manage without falling over in laughter.

If Viktor hadn't been laughing so hard at Yuuri and Yurio, he probably would have been lightly offended and possibly crying, but no, it was too funny seeing them flip their hair and say dramatic things in Russian, with Phichit recording everything.

78. Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up.

Yakov felt immensely proud when he pulled this on his skaters and it worked.

79. Dress up as a ninja and go around karate chopping people.

Mari was quicker than she looked, and the only hint of a warning anyone got before they were chopped was a flash of dirty blonde brown hair and the smell of cigarette smoke.

80. Climb up to a tall place and scream until someone comes. If they try to get you down, scream, “HELP! KIDNAPPER!”

It was funny until Yurio realized he was actually stuck.

[holoir]

In today’s Combo, Wombo – Bam, we will be looking at a classic One-Turn-Kill (OTK) combo that works as a finisher in very action-heavy control decks. The centerpiece of this combo is Stealer of Secrets, a 6-cost 1/1 creature with Ward that has a very unique summon effect: “Summon: +1/ +1 for each action in your discard pile.”  Have a look at the nice card art. When looking at it, I always thought, smoking can kill you one day 😉

Shadowmere

Mentor’s Ring

Stealer of Secrets

Anyway. The idea is to put as many actions into your discard pile and to use a strengthened Stealer of Secrets with the likes of 26 power or more to finish your opponent in one go. As the Stealer cannot immediately attack after he is played, we need to give him charge by playing a low-cost charge creature (like Shadowmere) with a Mentor’s Ring from hand.

The combo therefore has a cost of 12 magicka in total, and is accessible to all (control) decks that run the blue Intelligence attribute and play a lot of actions. For decks running both Intelligence and Strength (Battlemage, House Dagoth), the combo costs a minimum of 11 magicka, when you use Nord Firebrand as the charge creature.

Deckbuilding – Strategies and Hints

Here are a few Stealer of Secrets OTK decklists for your inspiration:

Morrowind’s Stealer OTK: A complete and up-to-date Battlemage decklist with an extensive guide and further discussion by Max_Mystel

Dagoth Stealer OTK: The main goal of the deck is to control the board with actions and lethal creatures and use as many actions as possible until you have the combo. The decklist was created by saiyan. It also features a second combo that will be featured in another Combo, Wombo – Bam!

HOM OTK Stealer BM – This deck was run by r4d1cAL in top 40 legend ranks with an above 60% winrate. Interesting addition to the deck is Therana, who multiplies the available actions in this control deck until you get the combo. The deck requires a relatively good card pool though and is maybe a bit more expensive to craft.

Meta MeMe Mage – This deck from SpoilerULose uses cards from the FrostSpark Collection as well as the October Monthly Reward card Altmer Dragonknight. It comes with a second win condition, which is snowballing your actions to buff Crystal Tower Crafter.

To build your own Stealer of Secrets OTK deck, you will definitely want to include lots of (removal) actions that help you to control the board. In addition, you might want to try including any of the following cards that do have some additional synergy:

Dragon Priest Mask: a 6-cost item that you play on Stealer of Secrets to trigger’s his summon effect again. This card has very nice synergy as you will need much fewer actions in your discard pile.

Doppelganger: A 5-cost creature that clones Stealer of Secrets, so if one isn’t enough, maybe two will get you the power stats you need to beat down your opponent in one turn.

Ulfric’s Uprising: A Neutral 7-cost action from the Forgotten Hero Collection. If you can’t get Mentor’s Ring or a Charge creature to hand, you can play the Stealer already if you feel your opponent has little hard removal in hand. It’s an expensive action, but it almost doubles the Stealer’s power. Similar to Dragon Priest Mask, but also triggers other cards with summon effects, so that might provide some interesting additional synergy. Maybe you want a Shrieking Harpy to shackle something, that could hit your Stealer?

Merchant’s Camel: This neutral 4-cost 1/4 creature let’s you cycle through the cards in your draw pile faster to find the combo pieces. It is probably a good inclusion in any combo type deck, of course.

Genius Pathmage: This 6-cost 4/4 Breton can be used to tutor Stealer of Secrets from your draw deck. Alternatively, you can also use it to tutor Shadowmere, if you have the Stealer already in hand or in play.

Dragon Priest Mask

Doppelganger

Genius Pathmage

Ulfric’s Uprising

Videos – The Combo in Action

Several content creators have also shared videos of the combo on YouTube.

Here is the Battlemage version from CVH:

CVH also provides a deck tech guide on this combo.

This is SpoilerULose‘s Mage version, available on his YouTube channel: the deck is running some of the latest cards (as of November 2018).

How to get the cards for the combo?

So how do you get the cards required for this combo? You get most of the cards from The Fall of the Dark Brotherhood story expansion.The most difficult part to craft is Mentor’s Ring, but here are the details:

Stealer of Secrets is available in The Fall of the Dark Brotherhood story expansion,

Mentor’s Ring is a legendary card from the Core Set,

Nord Firebrand is a common card from the Core Set. However, using this charge creature limits you to use the combo in the Battlemage class (red/blue) or in House Dagoth (red/blue/green),

Shadowmere is a unique legendary card from the The Fall of the Dark Brotherhood story expansion.

Hope you liked the summary, please give the archetype a go, to try it. It is really fun to play. If you have any feedback or remarks, please do leave a comment. Also, I’d like to hear what other combo deck you would like to see discussed.

Building a #teslegends combo-library on @blogtesl: today's "Combo, Wombo - Bam" features a classic: the Stealer of Secrets OTK. With decklists, strategy guide and a few embedded videos from @IamCVH - thanks to him for creating these In today's Combo, Wombo - Bam, we will be looking at a classic One-Turn-Kill (OTK) combo that works as a finisher in very action-heavy control decks.