#insightful mother

[strawberista]

⚅— Continued from here. —⚅ ⚅— @insightful-mother —⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

Hanekoma sat behind and somewhat above her, perched on top of a vending machine that had broken down ages ago and had been discarded back here with some other odds and ends. He'd delighted in watching Emi work, when he had really taken the time to seek her out and do so, and today was no exception. Even just from a cursory glance he could see that something was finally starting to transform within her, and it was some growth that he liked to see. He wanted to watch her really spread her wings, and maybe something nice would come of that.

"Sure it does," he replied, chipper himself. He'd been taking care of himself, and he'd been a little brighter lately. "Sounds to me like you're just about ready to start living your life again. Ya got a taste of it now, and you can almost see those words beyond your current horizon, can't ya? It's good to expand your world, Sunshine. I'll be here to help ya out if you're worried about it."

[networkscrambled]

❒⟿ @insightful-mother asked: ⬳❒ ❒⟿ ' have we met? ' (open to anyone you want Emi to interact with!) ⬳❒

Question Starters

『⑇⌘⑈』

"O-oh...! Uh, n-no, I don't think so..."

God, of all the times to be caught like this...! Yes, he remembered her, though thank god it was only a brief meeting. Miss... Sakuraba, if he remembered correctly. Il Cavallo had hired her to create some promotional material for their brand, and since his store was going to be the site of the promotion, he had been put in charge of handling everything. He'd met with her, had several lunches with her while the two of them worked on the designs for the promotional ads and which pieces would be at the forefront, had shown her around the shop and the products she would be promoting. God, he had spent an ample amount of time with her during those meetings, and his spine was frozen from the thought of it.

But that had been in his usual attire, perfectly presentable and well within what the public would expect of him. He never would have thought he would have found her here of all places, in the middle of a convention at a booth where he was selling his homemade jewelry based on a number of different series he was watching and new the public enjoyed. And... dressed as a woman... How embarrassing. How mortifying if there was even a slight chance that she might recognize him. How absolutely awful! He'd be ruined! Why was she here!? Was this a job? Was she an otaku or something!?

But he tried to have faith in his own abilities. Because while he hadn't pitched his voice up to a ridiculous extent, he certainly didn't sound like he normally would in the shop, and his makeup was absolutely impeccable, and judging from the compliments he'd been receiving all day he'd done a good job of portraying the woman he had decided to cosplay as.

God. Oh god, he prayed he didn't get recognized...

"B-but since you're here," he perked up and tried to turn her attention away from himself and more to his wear, "what do you think about buying some jewelry? It's just the kind of subtle merch you would be able to wear out in public spaces. Er, if you're trying to hide it from your family anyway."

[enchantedbrew]

"But of course," Rindo hummed in return. "I don't mind taking you to the station. I just assumed since I'm here I might as well. And anyway, it's the gentlemanly thing to do. It's been a pleasant evening, I'm glad to have gotten a chance to meet you. You're a very interesting person, Miss Sakuraba."

As they completed their meal, Rindo quietly took the check and paid in full. He really felt like he'd sort of wasted Emi's time with all of this, and he didn't want to inconvenience her more than necessary. He'd just had to be absolutely sure she didn't get more information than she should have by picking up his phone like that. And since she seemed safe from the knowledge of non-humans he was happy to let her go back to her oblivious life.

Both for people like her, and for everyone else in the world, Rindo wanted to be sure to keep the non-humans as far away as possible. He wanted to ensure they were protected no matter what, that they could go on smiling and living their comfortable lives.

After his card was returned to him, Rindo saw Emi out of the restaurant and back to his car. He knew he would likely never see her again after this, but he was happy with that anyway. He didn't really need to be making friends when he had so much he had to keep secret and when his work could be so dangerous. He didn't want many people missing him should something happen. He didn't want to drag anyone into danger. So he drove her back to the station content in knowing he'd likely never see her again.

Well... Unless he ever did go check out this Wildkat Cafe...

She can’t help herself as she snickered at his comment, “That is weirdly fitting coming from you...I think you might have a bit of a new view on it if you just checked some out.” Emi takes back her sketchbook, choosing to hold back in adding any more to her statement.

Was he a government worker? It would make sense...But that was only based off assumptions, and she was in no place to pry any further as he did with her. 

Tucking her book back into her bag she shakes her head, “After this I have no where else to be, I’ll be heading straight home. You can probably drop me off at the station.” There was still some time so she would be able to catch the train on time. Also at most, Noises would be at their lowest on her normal path home so she wouldn’t need to be guarded....And the last thing she wanted was to probably explain to her son or her ‘brother’ if they spotted her leaving out of the car of a stranger.

��I appreciate the offer, thank you Mr. Rindo.”

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

made several dumb n stupid mistakes back to back n gave myself an incredibly bad bleach job n called my mom whose first words were 'oh! you look like that kid from that movie! oh what's his name? horse boy?!'

[kuch-toh-garbad-hai-daya]

Really should've studied English

so yeah, I have my English pre-boards next Monday and it has come to my attention that I have barely given the subject more than 24 hours the entire year.

Not ideal, but this also happened last year. Anyways, I have finally decided to pick up Flamingo and speedrun through it.

Starting with the very last chapter of poems, I managed to make some notes in an hour. This was my first time reading it and god was it a ride. Like HOW does a three paragraph poem takes an hour??

Also, I used Jen for Aunt Jennifer.

[exasperatedoctopus]

Whenever an episode has Lwaxana guest-starring I start filled with dread, for she is the most second-hand-embarrassment-generating person I’ve ever seen. By the end of the episode, I am filled with glee and soft fluffy feelings because Lwaxana is also the coolest lady I ever met.

This happens every time. Every. Single. Time.

[sukibenders]

When it comes to Penelope I feel like a lot of her fans take any valid criticism towards her and turn it into hate, which does her character a disservice. While some people do hate on her, a lot of it holds valid reasons. Admitting that she has hurt many people isn't wrong because she has, it's been shown on throughout the show and the impacts it can have. From labeling Daphne as "unmarriageable" during her first season and events that followed, her labeling Eloise as being part of a group of rebels, the terms she used to describe Kate [and Simon]-- which carried racial undertones no matter how you try to spin it, who didn't even know personally at that point, what she did Marina. All of these were very harmful and to say that none of these characters should feel angry, that they should just forgive Penelope without any work put into it is very laughable (especially because she's still writing as Whistledown and put many, namely women, at risk during a time where reputation is everything--something in which Penelope herself faces). With this being said, criticizing her actions, at least for me, doesn't come from a complete place of hate but more so from believing that she can be better if she puts in the work. By ignoring all that she's done and having her get her happily ever after so easily in the end, to be honest, would ultimately feel lackluster. I feel like she still has room to grow, but it will take a lot of work and, I personally, think seeing her renavigate who she is with who she wants to be outside of Lady Whistledown would be very interesting.

[monprecieuxx]

See the thing is, to me, Twins at the heart of it has become about loneliness. Regardless of how much they’re explored or present on screen, every character is so painfully alone. By choice, by circumstances, by accident, just so crippingly lonely.

Sprite is alone by circumstance. He’s alone because no one prefers him, alone because Zee is a better bearer of their mother’s expectations. He’s the older twin and overlooked and he still tries, my goodness he tries so hard that it makes me wonder how anyone in his life can see that and not adore him to pieces. He’s so lonely he thinks his brother’s known nemesis is his closest confidant. In this team full of people who hate the one who wears his face he would rather tackle trying to befriend First, that it is the best choice. Idk if it’s naïveté or just unchallenged confidence he built up as a way to survival but it’s so audacious, it’s kind of brilliant.

And it works, it wears First down, he manages to get these people to like him but at the end of the day, it’s not him they like. This timed repose of belonging but only when he is standing in for someone else. Holding onto Zee’s life while his falls to pieces and for what? No credit, no appreciation, not even a hint of understanding from his mother, his father, even Salmon or Tan.

First is similar in the sense of never getting afforded the favouritism Zee enjoys from his father and his sister being a Zee stan just adds salt to the wound. The only people who prefer him are the team and even then they are so factioned he’s part of the in-group and still stands alone.

Zee, see Zee is so interesting to me cause his loneliness is self-inflicted. Maybe it started when the twins were split, maybe when he became part of the team we don’t know. We’ve only seen the worst parts of him until now and he seems to be content functioning in that window too. He’s thrust into this life w/o any input, seems to be doing it right and he’s still miserable. He has the recognition, he allegedly has the skill, he (undeservedly, in a way) has the girl and he still vows to take over Sprite’s life? And do what? Wreak havoc as him? Permanently replace him? Just hang around to fuck w/Sprite?

Idk where im going w/this, just ruminating about characters from this silly twin swap show.

[theburialofstrawberries]

‘The Bear’ Season 2: Let’s Talk About That Ending, Carmy’s Arc, and Providing Joy, by Ben Travers

[cienie-isengardu]

[MK1] Bi-Han & Kuai Liang. Good brother? Evil brother? Nah, just different reactions to trauma, part 4

part 1, part 2, part 3

Sources provided a clear difference how brothers felt about their father. For Kuai Liang, the man was a cherished parent AND authority figure he built his life around. For Bi-Han, father (and mimicking him grieving Scorpion) was a source of frustration and limitation he did not agree with. Bi-Han and Tomas definitely had a more complex relationship with their father than Kuai Liang did.

So far, we got only little bits in regard to mother and her influences on brothers and Lin Kuei politics but enough to see how Sub-Zero and Scorpion’s relationship with her differ from how they felt about father.

Before I will dwell on those relationships I would like to point out a small detail noticed during my research: so far there is no direct mention that the mother was in fact a wife of Grandmaster. She is either referred to as a mother or parent - which makes sense, because her importance is related to the brothers, not to their father, so it would be weird if Bi-Han, Tomas or Kuai Liang talked about her as the “wife of Grandmaster”. At the same time, the lack of implication of marriage bond between mother and father[1] and how she is refered feels similar to the obscure reference from original timeline:

Born in America, Sub-Zero was the oldest of three children, which included a brother and sister. Their mother wanted a normal life for her sons, who had already been chosen by the Lin Kuei to become warriors for the clan. She tried in vein to hide them from their father whose own life in America was only a cover for his true identity and purpose. Eventually they were found and their father returned with them to his homeland. Their mother and sister were never seen or heard from again. (x)

Due to this, I decided to not describe her as the wife or supposed wife of Grandmaster and stick just to provided by sources terms of mother, parent and Lin Kuei fighter - so in advance sorry for repetition of those words. At the same time, this specific way of including the mother in Bi-Han, Tomas and Kuai Liang’s story creates a possibility of a more complicated family relationship, both between brothers and their parents or between the mother and father alone. And as a result the whole Lin Kuei inner politics, as we already have a hint of its complexity due to Cyrax and Sektor's loyalty to Sub-Zero threatening Kuai Liang’s birthright to the title of Grandmaster.  Keeping it in mind, here are some of my thoughts and conclusions about the mother and her sons. 

Let’s start with Kuai Liang. There is no doubt he respected and deeply cared for father’s teaching. As I hopefully proved in the previous part, there is a solid reason to think that the loss of a cherished parent affected Scorpion to the point that grief influenced his behavior (mimicking father) and in result, relationship with brothers (barely talking with them if it didn’t involve father or tradition up to Sub-Zero’s betrayal). He expressed a burning anger at Bi-Han for letting their father die.

Kuai Liang doesn’t seem to have the same emotional bond with mother. 

Sindel: Both your parents were excellent fighters. Scorpion: I can only hope to live up to their example.

Like yes, he will acknowledge Sindel’s opinion and hope to be good as his parents but that is like the only one time we hear him saying anything about mother - and even then, she is mentioned alongside the cherished father. 

Mind you, this is solely my impression, but this intro reminds me of film scenes in which a character is told by others about a parent they had never had the chance to meet or know too well. It may be a wrong impression, but there is something about Kuai Liang’s response that makes me wonder how old he was when mother died and if he lost a parent at a young age, did it fuel his deep dedication to father as there was no other authority figure to influence him as a person?

Granted, both Kuai Liang and Bi-Han never bring mother first in their intro dialogues - what A) says a lot about their upbringing and B) differs from some mentions of father. But in Scorpion’s intro there is hardly anything truly personal about his bond with mother, or her personal feelings on Lin Kuei duty, especially when compared to those focused on the previous Grandmaster.

In contrast, we have interaction between Tomas and Bi-Han:

Smoke: If Mother were alive -- Sub-Zero: She would applaud my actions.

Tomas and Bi-Han may have a different idea of how mother would react to their brotherly conflict, but both talk about her in a more personal way. Tomas invokes her the same way he brings father into discussion:

story mode: "Were he here, Father would advise us to wait without protest."

or

Sub-Zero: You were never truly one of us. Smoke: Were Father here, he would disagree.

So we can assume mother had an impact on Tomas as he respected her as an authority figure similar to father. Alternatively, he thinks Bi-Han is more likely to listen about mother than anything he will say about their father. 

The letter part would be an interesting parallel between Tomas and Bi-Han, because Smoke himself is implied to grow up without a father or not being close to his biological parent - when talking about his original family Smoke directly mentioned so far only mother and his twin sister.

Also, the same as happened with father in intro dialogues, Kuai Liang and Tomas do not talk about their Lin Kuei mother. Scorpion claimed that Tomas never mention his biological mother and sister:

Scorpion: You never speak of your mother and sister. Smoke: Their ghosts no longer haunt me, Kuai Liang.

but as the other intro dialogues proved, Tomas does talk about them directly and indirectly with some characters, 

like Kitana,

Smoke: My sister was my twin. Kitana: How it must have hurt to lose her.

Tanya (priestess warrior) 

Smoke: After losing my family, I lost my faith. Tanya: It's the only thing that can sustain you, Tomas.

and Liu Kang (Fire Lord who may be responsible for their death)

Liu Kang: I cannot bring back your family, Tomas. Smoke: You can't or you won't?

Like I said before, it is impossible to tell for sure about which mother, biological or adoptive, Smoke was speaking, but as he claimed Li Mei resemble him mother

Li Mei: I remind you of your mother? Smoke: No-nonsense and tough as nails, just like her.

I personally assume he meant the adoptive one, as according to Smoke’s ending he lived with the Lin Kuei family for around 15 years. Logically thinking he would have more clear memories of her than about the biological parent he lost in childhood. We of course have no idea when - and how - his Lin Kuei mother died, but if I’m right in my assumption, then Tomas is providing vital insight into what kind of person she was. As Tomas said, a tough and no-nonsense woman and that fits perfectly the image of an excellent Lin Kuei fighter, because frankly, Bi-Han and Kuai Liang easily fit that description too. As presumably, the majority of Lin Kuei warriors. 

Another thing to note, the adoptive mother is not identified by Tomas with kindness, comfort or warmth or anything most people usually associate mothers with. This of course does not mean his adoptive mother didn’t love him or was a bad parent but may give us an idea what it felt to grow up in a clan primarily focused on training warriors. A purpose that definitely affected how people interacted with each other and what was expected from children. 

However the most interesting thing about Tomas considering Li Mei to be similar to adoptive mother is the fact that from all possible female fighters, he identifies mother with a woman forced into and shaped by Umgadi system of servitude but who found her true purpose outside said system. 

Kitana: Resuming your old role is a waste of material. Li Mei: Being First Constable is my first, best destiny.

or

Liu Kang: I hear the Umgadi want you back. Li Mei: I prefer to remain First Constable.

And this finally led me to the eldest brother and Sub-Zero’s statement that mother “would applaud me”.

Bi-Han outright claims mother would be proud of him and logically thinking, supportive of his choices. Which is a drastic contrast to how he perceives father as he did call the man a fool that doomed Lin Kuei.

And here comes an important thing: though sources barely provide us an idea who Bi-Han’s mother was in original timeline - a Lin Kuei herself who knew what lay ahead of her sons already chosen by the clan or just a woman that was unlucky to meet and have three children with an assassin working undercover in America - she was literally the only person that tried to give Bi-Han and Kuai Liang a normal, safe life. This woman, whoever she was, challenged a powerful assassin clan to save her two sons and daughter and was presumably killed alongside the daughter by Bi-Han’s father. This definitely affected Bi-Han’s worldview and interestingly, the sources have never implied Sub-Zero had any strong emotional ties with his father. 

Mythologies Sub-Zero’s backstory mentions only Bi-Han and Kuai Liang being kidnapped against mother’s will, that cryomancy was passed down to Bi-Han from father, that he took his place and mantle when the man died and that is basically all we know about their relationship. 

Between brothers, it is always Kuai Liang to mention other male members of their family with respect, as can be seen with new timeline Scorpion and alternative timeline Kuai Liang:

Sub-Zero: I disown you in every way. Noob Saibot: Then disown my name, 'Sub-Zero'. Sub-Zero: The name was Grandfather's first.

and

Sub-Zero: Grandfather? Sub-Zero: Defeat me to earn my mantle. Sub-Zero: You honor me with your kombat.

despite the possibility that said Grandfather may be the one that kidnapped brothers to enroll them into the Lin Kuei clan, while Bi-Han as a Noob Saibot was the one bringing their mother, even if just to be sarcastic/ironic:

Noob Saibot: You disappoint me. Sub-Zero: The feeling is mutual, brother. Noob Saibot: Mother would be so proud.

and on two separate occasions talked to Jacqui about her mom that passed shortly before MK11’s events:

Noob Saibot: Vera's soul calls you. Jacqui: Keep mama's name out your mouth, Revenant! Noob Saibot: Revenant? I am Wraith!

and

Noob Saibot: Return to your mother's arms. Jacqui: She's dead, asshole. Noob Saibot: And her soul is mine.

and isn’t it a surprisingly similar thing to current timeline Bi-Han talking to Kitana and Mileena about their dead mother?

And yes, Liu Kang’s timeline is a fresh start and a lot of things have changed but some elements seem to repeat themselves, whether the Keeper of Time agrees with it or not. Which is why I think mother - and her fate - again deeply influenced Bi-Han, the same as he was influenced in the original timeline by her desperate attempt to save him and Kuai Liang from Lin Kuei bondage. 

Bi-Han claimed mother would applaud his action, so she may herself feel resentment for Grandmaster’s idea of tradition and duty to Earthrealm and that resentment was passed down to her eldest son. Alternatively, it was her death that made Sub-Zero question both the nature of the relationship between Lin Kuei and Fire Lord and his father’s wisdom.

This leads me to another detail that may not be intentional on NRS’s part but it is repeated through the sources. The same as mother is never said to be the wife of Grandmaster - what admittedly is the most logical assumption for a traditional (patriarchal) clan as a way to secure the line of legal heir from proper marriage  - the decision of adopting Tomas was made solely by Grandmaster. And so we have:

Smoke’s bio: As a boy, Smoke lived to hunt with his family. Their final hunt, however, ended in tragedy. Having accidentally trespassed onto Lin Kuei lands, they were attacked. Smoke was orphaned. Ashamed by his warriors' actions, the Lin Kuei's Grandmaster adopted Smoke. He raised him alongside his sons, Sub-Zero and Scorpion.

and

Kitana: You are Kuai Liang's adopted brother? Smoke: His father's honor demanded that he take me in.

and

Reptile: Lucky for you, Kuai Liang's father took you in. Smoke: It didn't feel that way at the time.

or

Bi-Han, story mode: Mind your place, Tomas. Father may have taken you in, made you one of us… but your blood will never be Lin Kuei.

As I talked before about Bi-Han and Tomas forced brotherhood on different occasion it struck me how the adoption resolved mainly around father’s selfish reasons like saving his honor and erasing the feeling of guilt rather the boy’s safety and emotional health. There is something truly disturbing about forcing a child to be part of clan that murdered his family over a trivial matter. But there is also something disturbing about how the mother had no say in the adoption of Tomas, as there isn’t any hint the man consulted that with her. Now, it is understandable that in a very traditional (patriarchy) clan the father, as the Grandmaster and head of his family, could make decisions without consultation with others, including his own wife or children. But usually people who love or at least mutually respect each other discuss the vital matters before making decisions whose consequences will have such a great impact on their and their children’s life. Adopting a child, so greatly traumatized and from totally foreign culture, is something that should be a joint decision of father and mother if both were supposed to raise said kid alongside their own. In that regard the father comes off badly, not only by how sources made his reasoning selfish (“his honor demanded”, “Ashamed by his warriors' actions”, “father wanted us to be brothers”) but also how uncaring he was toward the mother of his children, especially compared to Sindel and Jerrord. 

We have no idea if Bi-Han’s father and mother were in love or were forced into a relationship by demands of tradition, maybe even through arranged marriage. But we have Sindel that though married Jerrord as a means to ensure peace, 

Sindel's Bio: When Sindel ascended to Outworld's throne, she worried that she was ill-prepared. Adding to her stress: her impending arranged marriage to Jerrod, an Outworld noble. Forced into it to placate a rebellious region, Sindel could only pray that he was worthy. To Sindel’s delight, Jerrod proved an ideal partner. 

she was loved, respected and supported by her husband and the feeling was mutual.

So far there is little suggesting Bi-Han’s mother had any real influence over Lin Kuei’s politics or that Grandmaster sought out her advice. She is not called the wife of Grandmaster, a title suggesting some high social position and so far only Sindel's remark gives us any idea what her role in clan could be. Liu Kang and Scorpion do not bring her dedication to Earthrealm and duty as a counterargument to Bi-Han’s resentment the way they talk about previous Grandmaster’s teaching and wisdom. She is pretty much removed from the picture and only Sindel and Tomas bothered to mention her at all. Sindel by praising Kuai Liang’s both parents as excellent fighters and Tomas by recalling her authority - the only one that Bi-Han seems to agree with, as according to him reclaiming Lin Kuei independence is what would please his mother.

If Tomas and Bi-Han have such a different idea of mother, the first question coming to mind is which brother speaks truth and which one is delusional. However I think that is not right question, because mother could not to speak about her desire to gain independence for Lin Kuei with Tomas - not because she didn’t love or accept the boy as her own, but because the orphan, as not born into clan, could not understand fully the Lin Kuei situation. Especially not when little Tomas was mourning the killed family and not when it became clear he and adoptive father became close. 

Another thing worth to examine is the possibility that Bi-Han, consciously or not, also associates Li Mei with his mother, as 

he clearly respect her, a former Umgadi turned into First Constable, more than Tanya, the current leader of priestess warriors:

Sub-Zero: No one in your order can defeat a Lin Kuei. Tanya: A nescient boast which is easily disproven.

or

Sub-Zero: Mileena sends a bodyguard, not a warrior? Tanya: Underestimate me at your peril, Sub-Zero.

vs

Sub-Zero: I hear your skills are formidable. Li Mei: As are those of all who have been Umgadi.

he encourages Li Mei to stop serve Royal Family and govern themselves

Sub-Zero: Your constables could also govern. Li Mei: We are sworn only to protect and serve.

something he usually does not do, as Sub-Zero has no interest in people outside Lin Kuei.

I’m painfully aware there is not enough source material to have clear conclusions and many of my thoughts are based on guesswork and comparative analysis. That said, I do think that as death of father deeply influenced Kuai Liang, the same happened with Bi-Han when their mother presumably was killed on duty. We have no idea what is the age gap between brothers, however I do think that Kuai Liang, as the younger brother, could not have a chance to know their mother well so all his devotion was focused on the living parent that raised him. If the mother personally wished for or actively supported Lin Kuei independence, she could do so as a way to ensure her children will have a better life than endless servitude, the same way the original timeline incarnation tried to save her sons from servitude to the assassin clan. In that case, Bi-Han was raised with an additional influence that shaped his mindset about his duty to clan above duty to Liu Kang and Earthrealm. If mother’s death was somehow the fault of Grandmaster and/or Fire Lord, as in, they sent her on ill-fated mission, it could be the origin of Bi-Han’s resentment against both men. 

There is much more to say about the conflict between tradition vs independence and I for sure will talk about that soon, but the next part will be focused on POWER.

SIDENOTES:

[1] Alternative timeline seems the closest to presenting Bi-Han and Kuai Liang’s parents as the “normal family” as both look devastated when their children were kidnapped by Lin Kuei.

At the same time, MK11’s intro dialogues of Sub-Zero and Noob suggests their grandfather was once a Sub-Zero himself, with raises a question how much their parents were aware of danger from the assassin clan and if any of them were a Lin Kuei themselves.

[alicentsultana]

The way we see mothers in fiction reflects our relationship with our own mothers.

Unless we're going mommy dearest and similar works that show narcissistic mothers and problematic/toxic relationships and portrayals, those are undeniably horrible and bad.

However, when we talk about general mothers portraiture we're going to immediately judge also through what we live and experienced.

I have a wonderful relationship with my mom, though she had me hours after she turned 18, and of course, have committed errors, she still succeeded in parenting and raised me with the best of her abilities. Therefore, I tend to see mother-sons/daughters relationships in a good light, as as depth and development goes by, I can change and adapt my initial opinion.

Therapist and Psychology Professors oftenly remarks that mothers, in a way or another, have some parcel of guilt over how her kids will develop and turn out, some more, some less. Relapse mother? Troubled kids. Distant mother? Insensitive kids. Overbearing/Overprotective? Kids learn to lie, omit, rebel. So on and so forth.

Mothers do have a hand on how you deal with your life. But a loving mother, a zealous mother, a young mother, an older mother, a religious mother, a free spirit mother... All of them doesn't have to justify themselves beyond maybe acknowledging where they went wrong, because, after all, aren't all of them also bound by expectations, morals, time and beliefs? And weren't all of them doing what they thought was right? Weren't all of them dealing with motherhood differently and in their particular ways? With or without support, they did what they could.

But take a look at these mothers:

They made mistakes, do they have to justify themselves and ask for forgiveness? Because they did what they have to? To survive, to attend demands, to protect, to ensure their safety and success...

There are mistakes, and there is also another even greater problem: you have to grow up and learn how to deal with this pain yourself, talk, digest, transform it, but no one but yourself will have to learn how to deal with it, even when it was done with such toxic and cruel behaviors, you will have to deal with it. To love or to hate.

Now, let's focus on the love part.

Mary, Elizabeth, Isabel, Januaria, the Bennets girls, Khadija, Alicent, Hürrem and Rhaenyra's children, all of them wouldn't even ask for their justification, ask why they did what they did, because they all know their mother loves them no matter what, they did what they had to do. Distant or not, overbearing, hysterical, insensitive, and doomed by the narrative. They know, and eventually recognize that those actions were done by love.

So yeah, go on, ask your loving mother to justify herself, I dare you all. Ask your grandma and aunt too. Ask that one mother who pissed you off online too.

Also, don't forget that maybe, that parenting style was all they came to know about. And unless one breaks a very long and, shockingly, difficult to recognize cycle, they will unknowingly perpetuate it.

Anyway. That's how I see it. Because oh boy, I wouldn't even ask my mom to explain herself to me, no matter my grievances. But that's a me thing. How do you see it?

[saintlcss]

⸻ INSIGHT #1 ; BIRTHDAYS.

type: self-para.

word count: 2,135.

mentioned: @solidgrovnd

content warnings: childhood abuse/neglect, violence, implied homophobia, sexual themes, substance abuse, injury & death !!

⸻ e i g h t.

Another year staggered to its death in a shroud of snow. Cold dead earth. Light that fleeted—even for a child who couldn’t stay in her bed long enough for a full night's sleep. Her mother had kept her for three weeks. A record. Not that anyone was counting.

Frances had only a dry bowl of cereal to pick at here: a mouthful of sawdust. She swallowed it drily—the lump in her throat too. There was nothing else; she knew not to waste it. Tidied it away immediately. Almost, she let herself hunger for dry toast and a solitary egg in a drafty canteen. At least the world was quiet there; the nuns certainly ensured that. A simple and sterile life, one of iron bunk beds and a single stack of precious library books.

Her mother had always chosen loud and dirty places to call home—hostile wreckages where unsettled people built short and violent lives. The clamouring neighbours were her only company in the dwindling light. Now throwing something, most likely each other, against the wall. Steady thuds against her shoulder, Frances turned the radio up a little more—never too loud, never too present. The static got louder. Outside: the sun had been swallowed.

Darker now, Frances flipped a light switch. Darkness still. The floorboards above creaked.

“Happy New Year, Cricket.”

Her mother had tripped into the afternoon. Stood and presented herself to her, or at least the room, already falling over in heels. There was no real affection to be found, just a show. Quite the cruelty for a child who could see it but couldn’t have it. Always out of reach. She could disappear. Sometimes, Frances lay under her bed until the slats, just inches above her nose would blur into nothingness. There, she imagined what it might be like to be dead. Thought of pained saints and their fierce deaths. Of the gorier diagrams in her history books.

“You’re always so jumpy. Agitated like a cricket.” Her mother had shuddered. Sniffed. “Horrible creatures.”

Frances dug her nails into the flesh of her thigh, live and resistant under her touch; it did nothing to stop the violent shake in them. She wondered, then, if her mother even remembered the name she gave her or if it was just another forgotten thing.

Eleanore Carrow was in rare good spirits. A small mercy that her daughter would not linger on. The stench of perfume and alcohol choked the air completely as she stumbled around, uninterested in the lack of electricity or the hastily silenced radio. Frances knew not to so much as wrinkle her nose. She smiled instead, small and quivering. Appeasement. Pacification. It was always the knife at her throat. Don’t beg; let the rot in. Allow the anniversary of their meeting to pass unnoticed; it had never been a celebration. Frances had been dragged into this world by a stranger. A mother no more than a jittery blur. 

A sudden screech of car wheels, a horn cutting through the void. Another man with crude hands. Her mother had kissed into the air, not her.

⸻ s i x t e e n.

Smoking was not a vice that she found much sanctuary in. It singed her throat still, even with a practised hand, the cigarette was often discarded as quickly as it had been lit. Something stronger given to her readily by the troubled-looking boys in the park was much more palpable. It softened the edges of the world but never recollections of her mother, nearly a corpse on the sofa, the help that never came—a warning against further indulgence.

This night would not be hers as she wished. As it usually was. The light was obnoxious, the gatherings of people even more so. Jude blinked, sighed—smoke-stung eyes. New Year. She had forgotten again.

An oversized jumper pulled out of a charity bin and scuffed boots, she was a jarring shadow against the merry gatherings dressed for celebration. It was a diverting spectacle but not enough to stop her from noticing someone walking in step with her. Always on guard, she could be haunted by an empty room.

“I’m looking for your mommy. She owes me a lot of money.”

Jude didn’t look at the owner of the voice. She knew it. She recognised disembodied voices like others knew their loved one's footsteps on floorboards. Her pace was steady as she continued. She flicked the blunt away. Shot her venom over her shoulder:

“You and me both, dickhead.”

Jude always had to push it. She did not flirt with harm but dug it out. It was an anger, perhaps, that could only be known by a teenage girl. A fire so fervent that it only burned so the inescapable sorrow underneath would never be uncovered. This was her mind, her body—it was this exact life she was stuck with. In. She would be nothing forever.

The awaited brutality came in the form of a shove against the wall of an alleyway. It was swift, her bones rattled with the force of air let out of lungs. With a forearm against her throat, she was forced to meet the hungry eyes in the half-light. She was told she was still mouthy, still wrong. That there were many ways for a debt to be paid. Somewhere, further in the dark, there was a drip. The other way, a racket now dulled, people laughing and cheering. Living. The drip became louder. Blood in her ears. She didn’t tell him that she had not seen her mother for years now. The words slipped away, he was closer, smiling, leaning in, she didn’t like to be touched. The story was always the same. Her mother left and men—they took and took.

“Fuck you.” Jude spat.

The push-off was fierce. Her hands were on his arms, his chest. He stumbled, twisted by the force of the shove. A dull thud as he clattered into the other wall. Jude could taste it, his surprise. It had always been a mistake to underestimate her. When he moved back off the wall, his grin was wild and wide. The eyes empty of anything human. A creature. It was always with teeth that they came at her with first.

He tutted at her as if she had spoken too loudly in a library. Stepped towards her only to look back out at the world. The light. Even as they came to wound her, she was still no more than an afterthought.

“Be a shame to miss the party, wouldn’t it?”

Threat or acquittal Jude couldn’t be sure. Her fingers curled into fists. She would bite if she needed to, run if she could. She had learnt quickly that no one was coming to save her. They only fed her dirt by the fist full. Laughed when she choked—scorned her when she was cruel.

He left but promised to return. She’d survive but never know why.

⸻ t w e n t y - o n e. 

It was a skill long mastered, to be able to leave another in twisted bed sheets before dawn without waking them. It had been a night of noise, too bright—festivity that she observed rather than partook in. The other girl was older, a college student who spoke passionately with her hands. She had found Jude against a wall, hunched and unfocused. Jude had touched her, not let her return it. That served no purpose. It was easy to leave untouched, unnoticed.

She trod her way through the shadows, a cluttered and disorderly dorm room. A pang of something, then, in the dark. It could be envy, perhaps, a feeling she had never allowed when abundance would never be known. A simmering bitterness, maybe, that others were allowed to sit in rooms and talk about their passions, waste days in the pursuit of something more. That they could be something more.

Jude caught herself in a mirror between bed and exit. Propped between plants and stacks of books, she looked unchanged, a little tired. Hair short and uneven, cut with blunt kitchen scissors. She was captured for just a moment in the orange slither of an invading street lamp. Staring back at herself. It was not her mother’s face, or even that of the unknown—her father’s. She couldn’t find either stranger’s features on her. Leaving. That was hereditary. The eyes, cold and sharp must be hers alone now. So she left, scratched off the phone number written shakily in ballpoint on her arm. Forgot about it.

There had been other girls before, and there would be more after, but in the suffocating small towns with church spires and slaughterhouses, they kissed her and then married boys their parents liked.

You might be fine all on your own but this is no life, Jude.

⸻ f o r t y - t h r e e.

“How did you break your rib?”

“Horse. Terrible dance partners.”

Jude had always dealt with her own injuries. She avoided hospitals, learnt to patch herself up just to avoid conversations. Being touched. The care of animals and land was a perilous occupation, worse in Arcadia. That’s why she had first compelled herself to the clinic. To them. Shaw. The countless times after, well, that was something less straightforward. Less chaste. Jude studied their hands while they explained that they would have to examine it. The cracked rib.

“You know you only have to ask if you want me to take my clothes off for you, Doc.”

“Shirt.”

Jude shoved off her overshirt, pulled up her vest. Didn't need to be asked twice. It was more purple than she remembered it, angrier now under the stark light of the clinic. Then, hands obscured her sight of the bruise and nothing mattered. All thought vanished when Shaw touched her.

“Have you strained it?”

“Oh, no more than necessary.” A beat as she looked at Shaw. Eyes that met in dense air. A dare, perhaps, she could swear she saw the lightest shade of red on them. She was instructed to breathe, the doctor’s hands around her, on her. Fingers gentle and knowing, Jude’s body stuttered, unsure how to breathe naturally under them. It stretched, the time, she forgot to mind it, she even—

“There’s nothing too major to concern yourself with.”

Wait for it to heal. They told her. Wait and wait and wait. To recover. To get better.

Shaw moved away and she wanted to tell them to wait. Ask them to dig their fingers in the bruise. “I could have told you that half an hour ago.” Jude sucked her bottom lip through her teeth and rolled her eyes.

The pen launched at her collided with her arm and then dropped to the floor. Jude scoffed with mock outrage, smiled with something unstoppable. Something terrifying. “Very unprofessional, Doctor Liebowitz.”

//

Drunk, pathetically, on something that tasted not quite like beer. Jude wanted to go upstairs. Stumble her way into her bedroom and sleep it away but once her knees bent, she was swayed. The sofa, then. An uncoordinated dive. Fabric scratchy against her face. The ranch creaked in disapproval. Just her and a slight breeze that was not stilled by locked doors or shuttered windows.

And Them. Outside.

A thud against the door to announce Their arrival. A voice piercing the dark, her mother’s. Jude had no one else to assume but her. The conclusion was only rational: that a monster in the night could only hope to lure her to its teeth if it had had her mother’s voice. Feast not on a person who had learnt to endure but a child who still wanted only to be loved.

Let me in, Cricket. It’s cold out here.

They hadn't attempted it much, granted but They never quite got the voice right. There wasn’t a place on earth where her mother would beg to be with her. Jude’s eyes stopped fighting the light. She produced nothing to devour.

In the rarer, kinder moments, where she found the last lingering grace in her, she thought of a woman of sixty or so. She had long hair and still wore dresses that floated carelessly on the breeze but her smile reached her eyes now. Perhaps she cradled her children, grandchildren. A real life for her mother that had required the destruction of her own. The pain and dirt finally exalted. Explained. It would have been worth it then, wouldn't it?

That was what she thought of as she sunk into the sofa, hazy from liquor and impending sleep. Still burning from being touched. No thoughts of the likelihood of the one thing that had finally brought them together—unremarkable deaths for unmissed people. Jude had been born at the moment a year died—when time ran out—ruined one party, then forty. Just tonight, she would keep her monster company.

An exhale, something curved like a smile.

“Happy New Year, Mama.”

[strawberista]

"No problem, Sunshine. You know I'm always gonna have your back." he leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead and raised his chin once he'd backed away again. "And if you ever do go out there and try street art, you should let me know. I'd be happy to help ya out."

A playful wink and he was back to work. This didn't mean that he wasn't going to worry about her. He probably wouldn't feel better until he started seeing an improvement. But still, he knew he could trust her to at least try, and once he was seeing some improvement he would finally be able to rest easy. At least she had someone to turn to now.

“Urgh...Burnt out does seem right.”

She’s all too familiar with that feeling, but she became used to just pushing on forward and ignoring it. It would make sense that now that the necessity to work in order to get by was a lower priority

She smiles a bit up at him, “I’ll put in my vacation tomorrow, it would be nice just to go around the city like I did before. Maybe I’ll try street art just for kicks.”

It’s what she did when she was younger before moving on to colleagues and sketches. 

“Thank you Sana-nii, I needed this.”

[hephaestuscrew]

Lady Miss Clara Entwhistle

'Miss Entwhistle' or 'Miss Clara Entwhistle' is said 93 times across Seasons 1 and 2 of Victoriocity. 'Lady [Clara] Entwhistle' is never said until S3E4. I'm obsessed with the fact that every time Clara has introduced herself or been referred to by name - every time she's been 'Miss' rather than 'Lady' - it's been a symbol for her of how she's building her own life, separate from her family and their expectations for her. She could have adopted a whole new name if she wanted to entirely disguise her aristocratic family ties, but she choose a more subtle shift.

Before she came to London, how many times had she walked into rooms she didn't want to be in and been announced as 'Lady Clara Entwhistle'? Did it feel strange to her at first, the switch to introducing herself without any hint at her father's Earldom? Or did it just feel right, her name finally able to stand on its own, like she was trying to? 

How many situations has Clara been in since moving to London where her title would have commanded respect and made things easier? How many people has she met who would have been impressed that she was a member of the aristocracy, who might have cooperated more quickly or revealed information more easily had they known? In the confrontation with Merrick in the House of Commons, for example, would there have been quite so much jeering and disbelief from the benches at the words of an Earl's daughter, as opposed to a random unmarried female journalist? But she's never played that card - it's never felt worth it to her.

When we first meet Clara as she enters London, she says "Well, my mother's occupation is... Lady, I suppose. And I am a journalist." Lady is a role which defines her mother, who is appalled by the idea of having an occupation. "Why couldn’t you just have married a duke, moved to Saxony and died of scarlet fever like your sister?" is funny in its ridiculousness, but it's also horrifying; Clara's mother would prefer a dead daughter than a daughter who is living the life Clara wants. That's something that must weigh on her, even when the ties are cut. Coming from an environment like that, it's no wonder if she sees a life of autonomy and independence as inherently incompatible with any acknowledgement of the role in society she was born into. So she goes by 'Miss', and she doesn't seem to talk about her aristocratic heritage, and still she's asking herself "what it means to be free, for birds or people"...

[comingoutofthecauldron]

kinda crazy how you’ll never understand anyone the way you understand your parents. and no one will ever misunderstand you the way your parents do

[roobylavender]

had talia not been character assassinated do you think she and bruce should have gotten back together?

no. i hate to use the word "phase" bc that would seem to diminish the importance of what's between them, which is something that will always persist esp as their continued dedication to the same causes and their respect for each other remains. but i do think realistically bruce should be a phase in talia's life. at least in terms of consummated romances specifically. i do love the idea of them remaining allies, close friends, and co-parents, but i think allowing talia to walk away from ra's and bruce in the first place has to stand for something in the long term. before talia went her own way i think it was easier to imagine a potential future where she ended up with bruce bc it felt like the desirable option. she was in this very debilitating position where she had little to no freedom to act on her own desires and goals, the embodiment of which was none other than bruce. so when you frame her situation pre-tower of babel, obv wanting to be with bruce was appealing. he was as much the love of her life as he was a means of escape and freedom and talia having the scope to then act on her own desires. i think that's what subsequently makes dc #750 (or is it #570. i never get the numbers straight and i'm too lazy to check) a really clever issue, actually, bc it acknowledges that and the fact that bruce once again setting her free bc of his love for her actually gives her the courage to step out on her own where she never has before. the fact that she has the option to go back to gotham with bruce and presumably have everything she's ever wanted with him, but she leaves it anyway, is a really huge deal. it's a statement. she loves him, but not more than she loves herself. and sure, what talia puts herself through during lex corp era certainly begs the question of whether her version of loving herself is really viable or in any way healthy, and i would love to see bruce help her recognize that she's not alone and that she doesn't have to do it alone to prove that she's capable. all of this i agree with. but i don't think that really means she and bruce have to fall back on their once-imagined dream of playing house. even if talia did find methods of going about her work that were mentally healthier i don't really know what'd be in it for her to play house with bruce in gotham. bc that is what it would have to be, for their relationship to work in any way. bruce will never leave gotham and son of the demon didn't need to explore that issue bc it was never going to get there but trust that corny as the line about naming the baby thomas or martha was it was reflective of a reality: gotham is bruce's entire life. no matter where he goes, no matter what he does, no matter who he works with, in the end he will always belong to gotham. and i simply do not think that would ever work for talia bc there is so much more she is capable of. while her vision is aligned with bruce's her scope of access and ability is entirely distinct of his own and there is so much more that she can do aside from relegate herself to gotham (hence why lex corp as an arc makes so much sense, bc it capitalizes on that scope). and yeah every superhero couple is kinda crazy and they have teleportation and shit but idk i don't think it's really a relationship for each party to go on long missions with ill-defined parameters that give them the worst sleep schedules known to man and occasionally they share a bed. it really isn't. and that's something that bruce and talia have to live with. their duty is always going to come first even though they both have a passion for civilian life. for talia to be in a relationship again she would have to stop having the liberty of being able to go wherever the work carries her and for bruce to be in a relationship again he would have to have the equivalent of a robin-wife. neither of these things is ever going to happen. so