#insert maniacally smiling stick figure here

[artyfartyliz]

like father, like son

[guiltypleasureprincess]

Third Degree

female x reader, lowkey high key self-insert, true blood so like, yah know. Sex, cussing drugs, etc. This part is SFW tho.

“I can’t believe you convinced me to come here,” you tell your friend, Shelly. She couldn’t look more thrilled, bouncing on her toes with excitement.

“Oh, come on, you fit in better than I do!” she says, grinning.

You can’t argue with that. When she told you about this place, you’d gone with your usual trad goth look, aiming for something straight out of the ’80s. If vampires weren’t sensitive to scents, you would have even smelled like it. You’d reluctantly ditched the hairspray, though, opting to tease and bobby pin your hair to tame the monster a bit.

“Your pretty pink dress makes you look like absolute bait,” you mutter at her, rolling your eyes.

“That’s. The. Point,” she says, tapping the tip of your nose before wiping her finger on her dress. You shake your head, regretting that you hadn’t set your makeup better. It would have helped against her endless poking.

“Shelly, this doesn’t feel like a good idea,” you try once more, eyeing the glowing red sign that reads “Fangtasia.” The place looks more like a glowing red coffin. You like the idea of death, sure—but not speeding toward it.

“Pussy,” she says, giving you a gentle shove before striding toward the entrance.

A blonde woman dressed in what you’d call vinyl death couture stands by the door. She looks Shelly over before turning her gaze on you, her eyes lingering a moment too long.

“ID,” she says, her tone both curt and bored.

You already have it out, handing it over. She looks between your ID and your face a few times before finally handing it back. As you tuck it away, you shiver in the evening breeze.

“You caked that on,” she remarks. “Almost thought it was a fake.”

You tilt your head to look up at her. “It was fun,” you reply, a teasing glint in your eye. “Dead things always look the prettiest.” She gives the faintest smile, though she clearly doesn’t want to. After checking Shelly’s ID, she unclasps the rope and lets you both inside. Shelly goes first, and you follow close behind.

“I thought this was a bad idea,” she taunts, grabbing your arm and pulling you toward the bar.

“It is,” you say, emphasizing your words. “I like to admire dead things from a distance. This isn’t distance—this is asking for it.” She rolls her eyes.

“If I knew you were going to be such a buzzkill, I would have brought Monica.”

“So she could run screaming?” you ask. “She would’ve left you in the dust before you even met the babe at the door. So far, she’s my favorite.” With a sigh, you sit at the bar.

“Maybe you just need a drink or two.”

It doesn’t take long for Shelly to get wasted. You tell the bartender to stick to Coke for you, since you’re the designated driver. While Shelly dances with a lively crowd—some of whom might be vampires—you lift your hand from your drink for a sip, observing the room. There are only a couple of places untouched by the feverish energy: the bar, and the stage. You find yourself drawn to the figure sitting on what can only be described as a throne, curiosity simmering.

Then his eyes snap to yours, and you feel yourself flinch.

“Shit,” you whisper, quickly looking away to focus on Shelly again, who’s lost in her drunken haze. But adrenaline starts pulsing through you, heat pooling at your core. This is bad. Whoever he is, you don’t want his attention. A maniac sitting on a throne? Definitely not ideal. Standing quickly, you dig some cash out of your pocket.

“Girl,” you hear someone call behind you. You stop, clutching a crumpled hundred as you toss it on the counter.

“I know you heard me,” she says, her tone laced with irritation. “Eric wants to see you.” You turn to face her, recognizing the woman from the door.

“Eric?” you ask, confused. A smirk plays at her lips.

“The guy in the spotlight.” She sidesteps you, placing a hand on your back and giving a light shove toward the throne. Reluctantly, you go along, not wanting to resist and risk a scene. You glance back at Shelly one more time to make sure she’s still visible in the crowd, then turn your gaze forward.

Eric’s short blond hair and fitted leather jacket look tailored to him, emphasizing his regal air. His piercing eyes feel as though they’re cutting right into your soul. With a few more steps, you reach him.

“Bow,” the woman orders. You look between her and Eric, but neither of them seems willing to let you ignore the command. Gathering your courage, you grip the edge of your skirt and offer a curtsey. When you look up, their eyes are still on you.

“That was…” his voice slides under your skin, soft and dangerous, “acceptable.” He beckons you closer with a slight motion of his hand. The threat in his eyes is stronger than your urge to run, so you obey. He sighs, reaching out to grab your wrist, yanking you forward until you’re practically against him. Your hand clutches the backrest of his chair as your leg slips between his. When you try to pull back, his grip holds firm, the music fading into the background as the air around you thickens.

“Did you come here to die, or do you have a better reason for tempting me?” he asks, his gaze unwavering.

“No,” you manage to reply, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Sit.” You take a shaky breath. “Down,” he orders. You hesitate, glancing at the empty seat beside him, then back at him.

“Where do you think?” he says, his voice unyielding. Trembling slightly, you lower yourself onto his lap, nearly bridal style. He releases your wrist but drops his hand to your inner thigh, making you jump at his touch.

“Such a jumpy little one,” he muses, a glint of amusement in his eyes. “Don’t you like it when they struggle?” he asks, directing the question to the woman beside him. Slowly, you wet your lips, trying to find your words.

“Eric,” you say his name, and his eyes return to you. “Did I… do something wrong?” you ask, your voice wavering slightly.

He tilts his head, studying you. “Did you know you smell like cinnamon?”

“N-no. I didn’t,” you stammer, struggling to keep your expression calm.

“I wanted to see if Pam here was exaggerating.” His tone is casual, laced with amusement. “Turns out, her sense of smell is as sharp as ever after 200 years.” His gaze darkens as he looks at you. “I think I'll have a taste now, unless you plan to resist.” He tilts his chin down, fangs extending. “You’ll let me taste you, won’t you?”

You swallow before replying, “I… would rather you didn’t.”

He pauses, his fangs retracting just as quickly. A smirk curls at the edge of his lips.

“I think I’ll keep this one,” he says, turning to Pam.

“Bill already has one that can’t be glamoured. Do we really need another?” she asks, not even sparing you a glance, her attention on the crowd.

“There are other ways of controlling people, Pam,” he replies, still watching you. You shift your gaze back to the crowd, uneased by the number of eyes on you, but quickly turn back to Eric. He raises a brow, bemused.

“What?”

“I’d rather look at you. I don’t like crowds,” you murmur, averting your eyes to the chair’s upholstery.

Eric studies you with unsettling intensity, his hand still on your thigh. “Not fond of crowds, are we?” he murmurs, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his mouth. “Then you must know how much attention you’ve brought upon yourself by sitting here, in my lap.”

Pam rolls her eyes, though a glint of satisfaction lights them. “So dramatic, Eric. Can’t you smell how frightened she is? Try not to break this one, hmm?” she teases, flicking her fingers dismissively.

Eric ignores Pam, his grip tightening slightly. “If you’re so anxious,” he murmurs, “you’re welcome to leave… but I’d rather you didn’t.”

There’s no mistaking the dare in his eyes, daring you to flee and daring you to stay all at once. His fangs remain hidden, but his focus on you is unwavering, as though he’s savoring the tension with each flicker of unease across your face.

“Tell me, why shouldn’t I taste you right now?” His thumb moves slightly against your thigh, a small, menacing caress. “I’m curious about your answer.”

The itching feeling of a lie slipped under your skin. “That was a lie. You don’t think I have a choice.” you pointed out. “I don’t want you to try me, because I don’t have a death wish,” you said honestly. Pam laughed. “Then why are you here girl?” “Because, Shelly, has a death wish.” “The woman in pink?” “Yes, the one woman wearing pink in the entire club.” you sighed, bringing your hands up to scrunch them into your hair.

Eric’s gaze narrows as he studies you, his expression unreadable. His fingers trace an idle line along your thigh, each touch setting your nerves alight. "And yet," he murmurs, "you're here in my lap. Strange for someone without a death wish, don't you think?"

You swallow, his words challenging yet chilling, and feel your heart race as the room seems to close in.

Pam smirks. "She’s stubborn. Careful, Eric, the last one who played with fire got burned."

He chuckles, low and dangerous, before his gaze locks onto yours again. "Oh, I don’t mind the flames." His voice drops to a whisper, a hint of thrill beneath the menace. "But be careful—if you stay, you might find yourself begging to be burned.”

You hold his gaze, unsure if he’s testing your courage or daring you to run. But as the music fades into the background and the world around you falls away, you realize you’re not sure which choice is safer. Or which you even want.

[derangeduser]

Equivocal Intentions.

Hanna (2011) Fanfiction

Summary: When Erik Heller and Johanna Zadeck ran away with little Hanna in tow, they also took along Erik’s sister, Y/n, who has a rocky history with a certain C.I.A. agent. We’ll go on from there…

Marissa Wiegler x Erik’s Sister!Reader

Warnings for this chapter: Cursing, violence, death of an animal, etc.

Here’s the key:

Y/n - Your name

e/c - Eye color

h/c - Hair color

A few disclaimers!

I do not own the story Hanna, this is just my adaption of it with a reader insert.

This will be a story with multiple parts, and it will be somewhat lengthy.

I will be mixing between the film, and the screenplay, so things might not be the same as the movie.

To be a 100% honest, I’ll use google translate a lot for this story. If anything is wrong, I apologize!

This story does have romance in it, though it starts off slow in the beginning, so please be patient with me. :3

Views that the characters have, may not necessarily be my views.

Finally, I do not own any characters within this story, including you. I hope you enjoy. :)

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

Prologue

-Present Day-

“It can cut you like a knife..”

You trudge through the snow as you sing,

“If the gift becomes the fire…”

You adjust the bow around your body, fingers used to the cold environment.

“On the wire between will and what will be….”

Your e/c eyes spot two figures in the distance tussling in the snow, a girl and a man, with the audience of an animal corpse.

A deer it seems to be.

“She’s a maniac… manic… on the floor. And she’s dancing like she’s never danced before…”

As you finished the song, the fight seems to come to an end. The girl is now on the ground, with the man standing above her.

That is, until he walks away…towards you.

Before he can reach you, you hide in the vast amount of trees, camouflaged clothing blending you in perfectly.

Once the man gets far away enough, you leave your hiding place, and start walking towards the girl. By this point, she had gotten up and starting hauling the mutilated corpse.

“Need hel-“

Before you got to finish your statement, she grabbed your hand from her shoulder, planning to flip you over her small frame.

You think ahead however, kicking the back of her right knee. She falls to the ground, and you yank her arm off your hand, grabbing its twin and turning her around. Once she sees your flushed face she sighs,

“Sorry Y/n.”

You smile, letting go of her hands, shaking your head.

“It’s no problem kid, you did a good job.”

“I lost.”

“Because you just fought Erik, you were tired.”

Hanna’s light blond hair shakes with her head as she looks down at the deer. “I always need to be ready, even when tired.”

A sigh comes from your pale lips,

“Whatever you say honey. But Erik’s too hard on you.”

You always hated that Hanna had to be taught these things at such a young age. Fighting to kill, expertly mutilating an animal corpse, to always be alert and never relax. It killed you that she never got a normal childhood. Instead, she’s confined to the vast snow of this secluded forest.

You fell out of your thinking when you saw Hanna begin to pull the dead deer’s body in the direction of your shared home.

You catch up to her, and grab on to one of the sticks attached to the make shift sled.

“Let me help.”

Her blue eyes look at you, unreadable.

“Papa said I have to myself.”

“Yeah well he isn’t here. What he won’t know won’t kill ‘em.”

Hanna’s face still didn’t move, until you see the small traces of a smile pulling at her mouth.

She lets you help as you start in the direction of your cabin.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

Once you reach the cabin you drop the stick, stretching your arm.

“You do the rest. Don’t want your dad to get his head in a twist.”

The girl nods and continues pulling the deer as you walk inside, seeing your brother sat in front of the fire.

The look he gives you, makes you groan, your jacket falling away from your shoulders.

“You need to stop babying her, Y/n.”

Your e/c orbs couldn’t have possibly rolled any farther in your head.

“And you, brother, need to stop being a jackass.”

The chair across from him squeaks when you land on it.

He gives you a hard stare.

Hanna walks in and looks at you both.

Your eyes blaze, daring him to say something. Erik sighs, and gets up.

You stand up as well, still glaring.

He gives one last look to you, before asking the girl, “What’s wrong?” She gives him no response, hanging up her things. He grabs more logs for the fire.

“Are you hurt?” He sits back down in his original seat. “You were half asleep. You must always be ready. Even when you’re sleeping.”

You rub your eyes, exasperated.

Fucking hell.

“Think on your feet. Adapt-“

“Or die. I’ll do better next time.”

He looks at you, and you sigh.

“Kannst du es bitte auf deutsch sagen?” (Could you say it in German please?)

“Mach es beim nächsten Mal besser.” (I’ll do better next time.)

She responds to you immediately.

“Buono. Italiana?” (Good. Italian?)

“La prossima volta andrò meglio.”

(I’ll do better next time.)

“Española por favor, cariño?”

(Spanish please, honey?)

The girl sighs, her father watches expectantly.

“Lo haré mejor la próxima vez.”

(I’ll do better next time.)

“Est-ce que ça te plaît, connard?”

(Does that please you, you asshole?)

You say turning to Erik, who does not look impressed by your words. Hanna laughs, which gives you a pleased grin on your face.

“Oui, Y/n.” He gruffs out, rolling his eyes. You join your niece in her laughter, and you notice Erik looking at you both fondly.

He continues to tend to the fire as Hanna walks up to you, grabbing your warm hand.

Jesus her hand is fucking freezing.

You keep quiet, and look at her with kind eyes. She whispers, “He found out didn’t he?”“Probably. But I don’t really care.” You shrug, grabbing her other hand, wrapping the pair around your body in a hug.

She nuzzles into your chest, arms tight around your waist. “Aunt Y/n?”

“Hm?”

“Could you read for me again tonight?” She speaks against your sweater.

“Of course, honey.” You couldn’t help but melt at her adorable self, tugging your fingers through her hair. She squeezes you one last time before letting go of you, going to retrieve her book.

You look after her for a moment, then your gaze moves to your brother, who was watching your encounter. Either you were finally going mad, or his mouth was turned up slightly.

“..would you like to join us?”

He takes a few seconds to react, and your patience almost wore thin, you then see him nod his head. You then smile a bright grin.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

“The great blue whale, is the largest animal to have ever existed. It’s heart weights 1300 pounds, and a male has 7 gallons of testicles.”

Erik freezes up at the last word, and Hanna laughs quietly. Smirking you continue,“The blue whale’s music can be heard for over 500 miles. A blue whale’s tongue weighs over two and a half tons-“

“What does music feel like?”

You pause at the question, before turning the pages of the book. You grin once you’ve found what your looking for.

“Music. A combination of sounds, with a view to beauty of form and expression of emotion.”

“Like when you sing?”

A chuckle comes from your throat as Erik responds, “Yes, exactly that Hanna.”

The girl looks off in thought, you eye her face curiously.

“I would like to hear other types though.”

You took no offense. She reminds you a lot of her mother. Always curious. And you fondly remember her having a much better voice than you.

“We have all we need right here.”

Erik’s voice cuts your thought short, you glare at his response.

Hanna talks back to him before you could, “It’s not enough.”

A sense of pride washes over you.

She then looks at you and her father.

“I’m ready.”

And it instantly washes away into dread.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

-Five Years Ago-

“Aunt Y/n, have you ever been in love?” Hanna asks as she looks through her Grimm’s Fairytales.

The water you were drinking went up your nose, throat erupting in coughs as Erik firmly pats your back. Hanna’s eyes widen in concern, before you wave her off.

You wipe your nose and mouth, clearing your throat. Suddenly, the necklace around your neck feels very heavy.

“Uh why do you *ahem* ask?”

Hearing a quiet chuckle come from behind you, you glare at Erik making him stop. Your niece looks back at her book now that you’re ok.

“The princes and princesses in these stories… I’ve always wondered what love was like, and if you’ve ever.. experienced it.”

Now your eyes were the size of sauciers, you anxiously scratch the back of your h/c hair. “Why me?” Why not target your asshole of a brother?

The young girl shrugs, turning the page of her book. “I don’t know. I just have.”

Your throat still hurts from your shock earlier, you swallow to relieve the irritation.

“So?” She presses.

“Right. Well I guess you could say that… I have.”

Your brother resists the urge to laugh at your suffering. You elbow him in the gut, when Hanna questions, “You guess?”

Realizing that your niece won’t let up until you give more details, you look at Erik. He stares back at you for a moment before murmuring,

“Only if you want to.”

At this point, all of your hair will fall out with the amount of times you’ve tugged at it. You spot blue eyes looking back and forth between you and your brother. “It’s best sh- you hear it from me.”

You look directly into Hanna’s eyes, yours now holding some type of edge.

“I was in love. Once.” Erik rolls his eyes. You pretend not to notice.

“And.. what happened?”

“We both… didn’t see eye to eye on something. I ended things with her a long time ago.”

“Her?”

Hanna’s eyes didn’t show disgust, but genuine curiosity. Your smile, usually bright and cheerful, seemed tight. Your thoughts raced…did you and Erik teach her about gay people yet?

“Yes. Her.”

Her blond head nods, looking back at her book, gloved fingers tracing over a picture. You turn to gaze at Erik behind you, but he isn’t looking at you. His eyes are trained on his enclosed hands, jaw clenched.

You turn away and sigh, looking at your own hands. You spot crescent shaped indents in your palms, your niece then asks,

“What was she like?”

Those indents quickly trickled blood.

You went pale, and not because of the cold. Finally Erik interjected, “Alright, that’s enough. Time to go to sleep.”

The only thing that portrayed her annoyance was her icy blue eyes, but she pushes it down and closes her book. As she puts it away, you get up to go and get bandages. Erik stops you, grabbing your wrist. By this time, Hanna had climbed up into your shared bed and lied down.

“You alright?”

It took all of you not to tease him. Typical big brother.

“Of course I am. I knew we’d have to tell her at one point. Better now than later.” He nodded, but didn’t let go of your wrist.

“Uhm may I have my wrist back? I kinda need it.”

“In a second..”

“Huh-“

He pulls you into a hug, and you are inclined to think that your brother is possessed. He’s certainly feeling affectionate today.

You slowly wrap your arms around him, forehead on his shoulder. You stay like that for a few seconds, before you break the moment by saying,

“Okay but seriously, I need to bandage my hands because they are currently bleeding.”

Instantly, he wretched away from you bringing your palms to his face, he sighs deeply. “Sit.”

You do so, smiling sheepishly. He goes to your limited medical supplies, and grabs some bandages. He walks back to you, and starts unwrapping them.

“You don’t have to do that you know, I can do it myself.”

He doesn’t respond, wrapping your palms in the somewhat scratchy texture. You sigh.

Once he’s done, he puts away the rest and speaks,

“Are you sure you’re okay? I know how you get with.. her.. involved.”

“Me? What about you?”

You brother raises a bushy brow,

“What about me?”

“If there was anyone who had the most feelings about my relationship with her, it was you.”

Erik attempts to deny your claim before you spoke again,

“Don’t even try to deny it. Since the beginning you didn’t like her.”

“I was justified in the end, wasn’t I?”

He asks rhetorically, and you take on a wry grin. “You got me there.”

The man sighs as he watches you fidget with your bandages, looking at nothing in the distance. He was about to say something else until you both heard a noise from above.

Your eyes dart to your bed, as you see blond hair quickly duck.

You feel your legs move and get up from your seat, walking towards your bed. You pause when you hear your brother, “It’s not your fault you know.”

Back still turned to him, you continue walking, climbing up next to Hanna.

The girl is feigning sleep. You gain a devious idea. Slowly, you move your hands to her sides, and start to tickle her adamantly. She erupts in giggles and screams, “No! Agh stop!”

Once she’s out of breath, you ease up falling to lie next to her. “That’s revenge for eavesdropping.”

Still catching her breath she heaves,

“I-I’m sorry.”

You boop her nose. “No big deal kid.”

Nodding, she tries to regulate her breathing. After a bit she asks,

“So you’re a lesbian, aunt Y/n?”

If you had more water, you’d spit it out. But you didn’t, so instead you just about choked on your spit. “How do you know what that is?”

Did you tell her about it and just forget?

Whilst your in your thoughts Hanna responds, “Papa told me about them.”

Your eyes almost bulged out your skull. “He did?” “Mhm.” “Oh. Well I guess I am.”

Damn. You’re really gonna need to thank him for that.

Silence consumes you both, save for Hanna’s heavy breathing and the crackling of fire below.

You felt the weight of sleep start to fall upon you, before it’s lifted off you.

“Did she hurt you?”

You bite your chapped lips, and turn towards her. She’s staring right back at you. “The woman you loved. Did she… hurt you in some way?”

You move back and forth between blue, not knowing which eye to look at, before deciding it’s best to just close your eyes. “In some ways, yes.”

The girl stays silent, but you can feel her breath on your face. It seems slightly rapid. You open your e/c eyes, just to see her blue ones filled with something akin to anger.

You grab her small face with your hands. “I’m over it. It’s been years since then. There’s nothing to be concerned about.”

Her breathing has calmed, though the glint in her eyes didn’t change.

“I want to protect you.”

You feel like you’re choking, and you feel the urge take your necklace off. You almost had the nerve to say,

“Well if your goal is to protect me from my ex, then it’s perfect she is the one hunting you isn’t it?”

Though you didn’t want to give the poor girl a heart attack.

A sigh comes out your nose, “What she did to me doesn’t matter, you don’t need to protect me from anything. Okay Han?”

You give her a stern stare, and she relents. “Okay.”

“Thank you. Now sleep, before your father fucking kills me.”

She laughs, and closes her eyes.

You gaze at her face for a moment, the bliss on her face filling you with an emotion you don’t want to define.

Then you follow suit, closing your own eyes, surrendering yourself to sleep.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

That’s the end of the prologue folks! I know that it’s a bit rough, but I hoped you liked it regardless. If you have any ideas for or theories about the story, feel free to tell me, I’m all ears.

Anyways I really hope you enjoyed reading, and that you stick around for the future. Thanks for reading! Have a nice morning, afternoon, evening, or night wherever you live! ✌️~ derangeduser

Song Used In Chapter: Maniac by Michael Sembello

[maribatshipper]

Ice Age reader insert Chapter 3

"What are you doing? Just drop it on the ledge." Manny frowns.

The baby is put on the ledge and makes a squeal of excitement.

"Should we make sure they found him?" Sid asks.

"Good idea." Manny smirks.

"No, no no! Wait wait wait! AHHH! Don't spear me!" There's a pause, then Sid frowns, "Oh, this is a problem."

Y/N jumps over the ledge and frowns, looking through everything for something useful.

"Now what?" Manny asks, looking at the camp. "Oh, that's perfect!"

Y/N picks up some rope and shoves it in her backpack. She then takes apart the tents and folds the fabric, putting it in her backpack.

"What are you doing?" Diego asks, appearing behind her.

Y/N answers while putting another rope in her backpack, "Simple. I have few provisions to keep myself warm, and seeing as the previous humans aren't here, and they haven't been for a few hours, meaning they won't be back, I'm taking their stuff so it doesn't go to waste."

She looks over to Manny to see him looking at a baby hugging a chair. Diego walks up to him as the baby falls in a basket.

"I told you they were gone." Diego frowns.

Manny scoffs, "Well, look who it is. Don't you have some poor defenseless animal to disembowel?"

E/N chuckles, "Damn, I forgot how savage Manny can be."

Sid interrupts Y/N's train of thought, trying to figure out where the humans went. Y/N picks up some ashes out of the fire and rubs them between her fingers, feeling how hot it is.

"You don't know much about tracking, do you?" Diego asks Sid.

Sid answers, "Hey, I'm a sloth. I see a tree, I eat a leaf, that's my tracking."

Y/N frowns, "We didn't miss them by much. The fire pit's warm enough to touch. My estimation is the fire was put out about two hours ago, and by the way the camps in shambles, I'd say they were attacked by something and had to run."

She sees Diego stiffen slightly as he agrees, pulling out some straw from the chair, "It's still green. They headed North two hours ago."

Sid mocks the human and tiger, causing Y/N to snarl at him. The baby falls on a stick over the fire, causing a fish to be flung onto Manny. Y/N takes the fish and cuts it up, starting to eat it, causing everyone to stare at her.

"What? I haven't eaten for a while. I'm hungry. Fish is a good part of any human's diet. And it's only a few hours old." Y/N shrugs as she eats.

Diego frowns, "You don't need this aggravation. Give me the baby. I can track down humans a lot faster than you can."

Manny retorts, "And you're just a good citizen helping out, right?"

Suddenly, the two seem to be in the middle of a tug of war with the baby, causing Y/N to watch and eat the fish like Popcorn.

"I just know where the humans are going." Diego explains.

"Glacier Pass. Everybody knows they have a settlement on the other side." Manny replies, picking up the baby.

"Well unless you know how to track, your never gonna reach them before the pass closes up with snow. Which should be like... tomorrow. So, you can give that baby to me, or go get lost in a blizzard. It's your choice." Diego smirks, thinking he's got the plan.

Y/N gobbles down the last of the fish, quite satisfied, and throws the bones over the edge of the cliff as Manny picks up the baby and hands it to Sid.

"There's your little bundle of joy. We're returning it to the humans." Manny frowns.

Y/N shrugs, "Let's get moving, mammals."

Sid teases, "Oh, the big bad, tigey-wigey's being left behind. Oh poor tigey wigey-"

Y/N smirks, "Sid. Tigey-wigey's leading us to the humans."

Manny nods, "She's right."

Sid pales, "Uh, Manny, N/N... Can I talk to you for a second?"

Manny and Y/N chorus, "No."

Manny frowns, "The sooner we find the humans, the sooner I get rid of Mr Stinky-drool face. And the baby too."

E/N cackles, "I'm loving this guy! Are we sure he's not even a little evil?"

Diego frowns towards Sid, "You won't always have Jumbo around to protect you. And when that day comes, I suggest you watch your back. Cause I'll be chewing on it."

Manny calls Diego, "Hey, uber tracker! Up front, where I can see you!"

Y/N walks to the front with Diego and smirks, "Nice silver tongue, Tiger. But you better watch your back. If you sell us out to any Saber-tooth pals you have, you won't live to see the morning after the betrayal. Capiche?"

Diego asks "What makes you think I know other Sabers?"

"You're a pack animal. It all comes with the territory. I'll be watching you." Y/N smirks as she falls back to Manny.

***

After a few hours walking, the baby starts crying. Y/N pulls the headphones out of her bag and places them on her head, muffling the noise. But it doesn't get muffled enough, so she connects it to her phone and turns up the volume, playing F/S that's been downloaded. Eventually, Manny cracks.

"Oh you gotta make it stop! I can't take it any more!" Manny exclaims.

Y/N stops the music and turns of the headphones, hanging them around her neck.

"I've eaten things that didn't complain this much!" Diego yells.

E/N smirks, "Of course they didn't complain. They were dead when he ate them. How long until they realise he's hungry?"

Y/N mentally answers, "Let's give them five minutes."

Sid says, "It won't stop squirming!" holding the baby upside down.

Diego yells. "You're holding it wrong!"

"Watch it's head!" Manny exclaims.

Y/N groans and snatches the baby off Sid and puts it on a rock and shushes it, making it quiet for a moment.

"How'd you do that?" Diego asks.

Y/N answers, "It's only temporary. Now I can think. Figure out a way to keep it happy while I can think again."

The baby starts crying again while the boys input ideas.

"Hey, it's nose is dry." Diego notices.

Sid frowns, "That means something's wrong with it."

"Someone should lick it, just in case." Diego inputs.

Y/N calls out, "Wrong! Human noses are naturally dry!"

Manny inputs, "Hey, he's wearing one of those baby thingy's!"

Sid asks, "So?"

"So if he poops, where does it go?" Manny replies.

E/N frowns, "That's the only smart guess they've had. Too bad it's not it."

Sid frowns, "Humans are disgusting."

Y/N nods, "Tell me about it."

Manny points at Sid, "Okay you. Check for poop."

"Wait, why am I the poop checker?" Sid asks.

Manny lists, "Because returning the runt was your idea. Because your small and insignificant. Because I'll pummel you if you don't."

Sid asks, "Uh, why else?"

"NOW, SID!" Manny orders, it echoing slightly.

Y/N watches the idiots check the diaper, only to find out it's clean, when Manny hits Sid in the head, causing the baby to laugh. The baby starts crying again.

"Hey do that again. He likes it!" Diego smiles.

Manny hits Sid again, causing the baby to giggle again.

"It's making me feel better too." Manny smiles.

Sid goes over to Diego and frowns, "Here, you hold him."

Diego hits Sid, causing the baby to laugh. The baby tries slapping Sid now. Sid grabs the baby's hand and puts him back on the rock. Diego's turn now. He does the "Where's the baby" trick, but it scares the baby.

"You guys know the baby's hungry, right?" Y/N frowns.

The boys turn to Y/N in shock, and two of the faces are angry.

"How long have you known this?" Diego growls.

Y/N shrugs, "I figured after the second hour of screaming, but there was no food around, so I just droned him out until you guys cracked. Then I wanted to see how long until you guys figured it out."

She then walks over to a bush where a watermelon pops out. She quickly picks it up, only for a dodo bird to snatch it off her.

"Oi! Give that back to me, you prehistoric buttsnack!" Y/N chases after the bird.

***

The group follows Y/N to a dodo bird nest-like place, where dodo's are acting like soldiers and conspiracy theorists.

"Prepare for the ice age!" A dodo yells.

Sid asks, "Ice age?"

Diego frowns, "I've heard of these crackpots."

Y/N scoffs, "I'm sure humans have their own version of these weirdos."

The dodo that stole the melon from the group sees them then yells out, "Intruders!"

After running like a maniac, he falls into a tar pit where he dies.

Manny asks, "Hey, can we have our melon back? Jr's hungry, and-"

A dodo interrupts, "No way! This is our private stockpile for the ice age! Subarctic temperatures will force us underground for over a billion billion years!"

Y/N frowns, "You only have three melons. You should've started stockpiling at least three years ago with food that won't rot so quickly and with a few seeds to grow your food, buttsnacks."

The birds look towards the melons, then back towards the mammals.

"If you weren't smart enough to plan ahead then doom on you!" The dodo scowls.

The other dodos chant, "Doom on you!" as they walk closer to the mammals.

Manny frowns, "Get away from me!"

Y/N slaps a dodo that gets too close when a melon rolls towards the mammals.

"Mine now! Thank you! Tata!" Y/N smirks as she runs away with the Melon.

"Retrieve the melon! Tai-kwon-dodos! Attack!"

Y/N pales as she remembers this part. A dodo kicks another dodo, and a dodo manages to kick the melon out of her hands.

"Oh come on!" Y/N frowns.

She then watches as the melon is thrown over a cliff.

"That's one." Y/N frowns as a few dodos fall off the cliff trying to get the melon back.

She sits down next to the baby and watches the show, quite entertained.

*Skip to the last melon*

She watches as the dodos attack Sid and winces. The melon bounces towards Manny, who catches it and keeps it out of the dodos reach. A dodo decides to bite his tail, causing him to throw it.

"And this is how football/soccer was invented. With a watermelon." E/N smirks.

Sid catches it, and finds himself cornered. Y/N nods at him, telling him to run. He puts his hand out and closes his eyes, somehow getting to the end of the line without much of a struggle, somehow causing some dodos to stack on top of one another. The dodos surround him again and he jumps, causing them all to run into each other. He lands on the ground, away from the dodos, causing everyone to cheer. He then throws the melon onto the ground, cracking it open.

"Oh, Sid! Now we gotta find more food!" Diego frowns.

Y/N smirks, "Actually, he just made it easier to get to the good stuff. Look."

The mammals look to see the baby eating it.

"I'm getting sick of calling it “the baby”. Can we please call it Junior?" E/N asks.

Y/N silently agrees as Junior continues eating.

"Hey, Junior? Can I have some please?" Y/N asks.

Junior passes some to her and she eats it.

"Thanks buddy."

The dodos stacked up try to tell the guy on the bottom where to go as they pass the mammals.

"Hey look at that. Dinner and a show." Manny jokes.

Y/N yells at the dodos, "May your ears turn into buttholes then crap on your shoulders!"

Everyone stares at Y/N in shock as the dodos fall of a cliff.

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 19

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 9,165

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

Neverland, as I was currently discovering, was a huge indoor playground at the Dusk Town Center mall. A place where children never had to grow up, or so its big overhead sign boasted. Its vast range of diversions for the little ones included such attractions as a jungle gym in the shape of a large comical skull, a huge green plastic alligator that had a slide built into its long back, and monkey bars supported at either end by large, spooky prop trees. Off in one corner, there were even synthetic, cute yet culturally problematic teepees for the tiny tots to crawl around and hide in. But its crowning jewel seemed to be the kiddie train that ran along the tracks circling the entire play area. Each of its carts were actually little pirate ships that could fit one child in it, maybe two if they were really little.

Since the playground was in the middle of a wide open mall walkway, many stores surrounded it, such as an antique shop by the name of Cave of Wonders. Beyond the rusty brass lamps in its window and past an old, tacky purple carpet draping off a shelf, a friendly young woman with long black hair tied back into a two-sectioned ponytail and wearing a turquoise crop top could be seen running the counter.

Next door to that was Game-A-Saurus Rex, a video game store sporting a green t-rex mascot as part of its logo. An absolute giant of an employee with messy brown hair was currently setting up a display pyramid but his meaty, clumsy hands accidentally knocked it over, wrecking it. I got the feeling this wasn't the first time from the look of being one hundred percent done he was receiving from his silver haired coworker with mismatched eyes.

Neighboring them, I was a bit surprised to discover there was even an Esmerelda's Secrets here as well, a… ahem, lingerie store, to use a more PG term. I found its location so near to the play area to be a bit of a questionable mall layout choice.

I sighed, paper bag lunch crinkling in my grip as I glanced around.

Where was he?

"Are you sure this is where he told you he wanted to meet up?" Kristoff asked beside me, his eyes scanning about as well. Thankfully, he'd forgiven me by now for the minor phone-hurling fiasco and we were back on speaking terms again.

"Positive," I fished my mobile out of my pocket with my free hand, rereading Lea's text asking me to head to Neverland once my lunch break had started.

Since I'd never heard of it before, I'd asked Kristoff (him being the closest person at hand since he'd been working the Ice Palace registers with me) if he'd known what it was. I figured he could at least point me in the right direction, which would be faster than looking at a mall directory. Instead, since he was getting off shift the same time I was going on lunch, he'd offered to walk me there, saying it was on his way anyway.

But now here we were and a certain redhead was nowhere to be seen.

"Bah, I'm sure he'll turn up any second now," Kristoff shrugged off with a laugh. I said nothing, just continued to frown down at my phone before raising my eyes to take another look around. Shoving one of his hands into his pocket while he used the other to ruffle the hair at the back of his head, Kristoff said, "So… your sister…"

"Anna? What about her?" I muttered distractedly, gaze still jumping from face to unfamiliar face. Come on, Lea was a friggin' mountain with hair like a beacon that could light a path home for even the most wayward of lost ships. The guy should have been sticking out like a sore thumb.

He pursed his lips to one side, slightly widened eyes darting about now. "She's… well, she's really… neat." I blinked, slowly looking over at him now. He stiffened, then gave a weak chuckle, "Did I say neat? Not neat, I meant, ah… pretty!" His face blanched. "Pretty… pretty, pretty swell, that is! Yeah, a real bangarang," insert his wince here, "gal that, uh... that's really, er…"

Annnnnd now he was blushing. What was with him, anyway? It was so unlike him to be getting all tongue-tied and-

Oh.

Oh dear. I knew what this was.

Someone had a crush.

Ugh, why did I have to be the one to break his heart by telling him my sister was already in a relationship?

"...anyway," his voice cracked and he coughed, beating a fist to his chest before trying again. "Anyway, what I'm trying to say, or… rather ask is... would you know if, ah… is... is she seeing any-" his idly wandering gaze landed on something past me and he froze, words dying on his tongue. Then his eyelids drooped. "...I think I found your boyfriend."

My brow furrowed at the face he was making before I turned on my heel, following his gaze.

I heard them before I saw them. Cheerful whoops and hollers echoing from the plastic tunnel over the railroad tracks, heralding the emerging train of pirate ships. Then there they were: Lea and Roxas, taking up a full boat each as the locomotive chugged along, their hands thrown up high over their heads as they cackled in almost maniac glee. The two kids in the cart behind them - a carrot top boy in a green cap embroidered with a red feather logo and a little blonde girl wearing toy fairy wings - were giving them funny looks.

I spluttered, my fingers shooting up to smother and hide the grin I was fighting. This was behavior I did not want to encourage.

There he was, ladies and gentlemen. My bad-boy boyfriend in all his glory.

I hope the Duke's spy wasn't here to witness this.

Scratch that, I'd rather no one were here to witness this.

"Those goddamn morons have been at this for over ten minutes now," I heard a grumble from a familiar voice close by. I looked to my right to discover Xion standing there, watching them with a scowl and one eye twitching. As the train drew near, she called out flatly, "Oh yeah, looking real classy there, guys!"

"We're posh as fuck!" Lea replied smugly with a pinky raised, heedless of what nearby young and impressionable ears might overhear. Then his eyes drifted past her to notice me for the first time. His already beaming face did the impossible and brightened even further. As his little pirate ship choo-chooed its way past us, he cried out, "There you are, El! 'Bout time! We're celebrating!"

"El? Who's El? No, you must have me mistaken for someone else. I don't know you," I shook my head, taking a step back. "Quick, let's get out of here," I hissed to Kristoff, snatching his arm with one hand and using the other to hide my face as I tried to make a hasty retreat.

"Oh-ho, no ya don't! You're not getting away that easily!" I heard Lea laugh behind me. I hazarded a quick glance over my shoulder to see him struggling to get out of the cart - he was wedged in there pretty good, seeing as how those boats were never meant to withstand a man of his considerable stature. However, he finally managed to wiggle himself free and jump off the moving kiddie train, stumbling over the railing surrounding it and leaving poor Roxas behind looking quite distraught at having been abandoned.

Then he was charging towards me and I spun around to face him, defensively throwing my hands up in front of me. "Got ya!" he declared triumphantly, snagging me by the waist, my arms instinctively going to hug his neck as he lifted me up and spun me around a couple times.

What was even happening?

"Right," Kristoff said. Don't ask me how, but I could distinctly hear the eyeroll in his voice. "I think I'm gonna go now."

He walked off and I frowned after him as Lea put me back down, though his arms still kept me trapped against him. Then I shrugged. Kristoff's wee crush would have to be a problem for another day. Looking up at Lea, I shook my head with a barely suppressed smile, "What has you so giddy?"

"I got my test grade back today," he chirped, nuzzling his nose to mine for all the crowded mall to see.

"Your test?" I cocked my head at him. Then it clicked. "Oh, the one I helped you study for? You passed?"

"Passed nothing, I aced that sucker! Made it my bitch and it was all thanks to you!" And with that, he was hoisting me up for another twirl.

"Dude, what the hell?!" a shout suddenly rang out across the mall before Roxas came bursting out of the press of shoppers, sneakers screeching to a halt in front of us as he glared at Lea. "Can't believe you just ditched me like that! I looked like a total dumbass riding that thing all by myself!"

"Oh sure," Xion deadpanned at his side, "cuz you looked like a regular Einstein before as a grown-ass man riding around in the widdle choo-choo train with another grown-ass man."

Roxas crossed his arms and stuck his nose up in the air with a harrumph. "You're just jelly cuz we didn't invite you."

She scoffed, "You didn't invite me cuz I turned you guys down the last ten times you tried to drag me onto that dumb thing because I didn't want to look stupid."

"Your face looks stupid!"

Xion lunged at him, but Lea had already put me down and was snagging them both by the scruff of their shirt collars, dragging them apart from each other. He sighed, "Kiddos, please, would you start acting like the grown-ups that you are?"

Said the adult man who'd just been joyriding in the kiddie train.

Seriously, how were these three even college students? They all acted like a bunch of preschoolers.

"Ha, fat chance with this dope," Xion snerked, reaching across to flick Roxas in the forehead.

"Why you-" he broke free of Lea's grasp. Xion gasped and managed to squirm loose herself, bolting and squealing with laughter as she disappeared into the crowd, Roxas hot on her heels.

"Oi, kids these days. I give up," Lea grumbled, shaking his head and tossing his hands up in defeat. "Now where were we?" Looking back at me, his eyes lit up. "Ah yes," he bent forward, bringing us nose to nose with a tiny smirk, "my reward."

Both eyebrows shot up my forehead and I staggered back a bit. "Your… reward?"

"Mm-hm!" he nodded, grin twitching wider. "For kicking that test's ass, I get a reward! It's standard girlfriend protocol."

I blinked, "...it is?"

"Didn't ya read your dating handbook?"

...there's a handbook?!

Wait. No. That was just a joke.

And wishful thinking on my part.

Because I mean, seriously, how much easier would my life be right now if I could consult a handbook?

That aside, I had to get back to the matter at hand: some kind of reward for Lea. Which was my duty as the girlfriend. Apparently. What did that even entail? What was it supposed to be? What was I supposed to do? My face paled and my hands clenched. This was too much responsibility to be thrust onto me all of a sudden! What, was I supposed to buy him something? Or… maybe this was this another PDA situation? I mean, I hadn't made a move in that department since the roller rink a couple days ago. If tripping and crashing into him even counted. Which, personally, I was still chalking up as one for the win column. Had to take my small victories wherever I could! That said… perhaps it was high time I gave it another go?

Yes. Okay. I was going to do this. This… I was going to do.

My gaze hardened and my nostrils flared slightly as I started taking deep, sharp breaths, psyching myself up.

I got this. No more putting it off. Be strong! Be brave! Carpe diem! Seize the day! Grab the bull by the horns! Strike while the iron's hot!

Lea snerked, straightening up, "Woah, El, your face! Relax! I'm kidding! Just teasing ya like I always-"

YOLO!

I dropped my lunch bag, grabbed his head in both hands, yanked him down and kissed him.

...on the nose.

Way to bury the lead there, I know.

But hey, it still counted! Let me have this!

I held it for the space of a few thundering heartbeats before I pulled back, releasing his face and doing my best to ignore the slight jitters I felt from the adrenaline surge.

Lea was stock-still and just giving me a blank, wide-eyed stare.

Huh… not the reaction I was expecting.

A few long seconds ticked by where nothing happened. My eyes darted about nervously. Then I slowly, awkwardly picked my lunch sack back up off the floor. And still nothing from him. Nada. Not one peep.

Should… should I say something?

That's when he jolted upright (startling me half to death, I might add) and brought both his hands up to cup his nose, spinning around so his back was to me now.

Okay, really, really not the reaction I was expecting. At all. Just what-

Then it hit me.

I hadn't asked his permission first! And after he'd been so careful with me all this time too! Apparently I couldn't even return the favor! Fudge, this was like the Kissident all over again. Except worse! At least then, it'd been an accident. This time I'd done it on purpose! This was premeditated! Not to mention this now made me a repeat offender! A… a serial kisser! Would my reign of smooching terror never cease?

Anxiety eating up at me now like a swarm of angry ants in the pit of my stomach, I bit down on my bottom lip and took a hesitant step forward. "Lea?" I asked, my voice small. "Did I do something wrong or-"

"Nope! No, it was good. Really, really good," he said quickly, voice tight and muffled still by his hands. Then I heard him puff out a slow breath, watched his arms fall to his sides and he whipped around towards me once more, huge smile splitting his face in two. "So good, in fact, it's high-five worthy. Whaddya say, wanna high-five? Let's high-five." He held his palm up in front of me. I wordlessly stared back at him, arching an eyebrow. He was being weird, even for him. And why was he talking so fast? He hastily dropped his hand, "Not high-five. Forget that. That's stupid. We should, uh… we should go. Wanna go? Let's go."

As he snagged my free hand in his and tugged me into a walk beside him, I tipped my head to the left and uncertainly gave him some side-eye. "...where are we going?"

Seemingly already recovered, his grip shifted to instead hook our pinkies together as he shot me a wink. "Where all couples sneak off to whenever they have a lil free time. Somewhere dark, secret and secluded so," here he raised his voice for all to hear over the mall hub-bub, "we can make out!"

My feet faltered and I stumbled, barely catching myself as my face spontaneously broke out into its best impersonation of a tomato. "M-make out?!"

He snorted, bending close to my ear and whispering, "Calm down, only said it for show. We'll just find some place to lay low until your lunch is over and let the gossip mill churn." Straightening back up to his full height, he beamed, "Sound good, my knuddelbärchen?" A crease formed between my eyebrows and he chuckled. "Go on, ask. Ya know ya want to."

I sighed, "And knuddelbärchen is…?"

"German for cuddle bear," he pinched my cheek.

"No."

"You can sleep on it, then get back to me."

I rolled my eyes but held my tongue as I continued to let him lead the way to wherever it was we were going. It wasn't long before we entered a part of the mall I was more familiar with and he turned us down the deserted wing that was under construction. Ah, back to the clocktower then, was it? So be it.

Once the locked door was picked and we were inside, I started to head for the stairs but he stopped me with a hand on my elbow. At my questioning look, he said, "Dunno where the kiddos disappeared off to. They may have beat us to the punch and could be up there already, which'll totally bust our whole fake make-out sesh. Better to just hide out down here instead."

"Alright," I nodded as he released my arm.

And there it was again. That strangeness that seemed to hang in the air whenever we were alone together now. Whenever we didn't have to put on the act of being in a relationship. I was now so used to him lacing our fingers together every chance he got that when he didn't this time, instead opting to stuff his hands into his pockets with a grin and a soft "heh," my own hand almost felt… slighted? Bereft? Sad? Could hands even feel sad? Well, whatever the hand equivalent of sadness was, it felt that.

There were a couple large, dusty crates stored in here with us at the bottom of the clocktower. I stepped over to one, gingerly dusting off the surface before setting my paper bag down on top of it. Then I cleared my throat and looked to him with a small, timid smile. "This whole rent-a-boyfriend thing is really becoming a full time job now, isn't it? Sorry… to be wasting your time like this. I'm sure there are better ways you'd be preferring to spend it rather than stuck here with me."

Lea blinked at me, then huffed out a breath of a laugh. "Hey, you already forgetting whose idea it was for us to steal away on our own like this? Ya got nothing to be sorry for. I like this, it's fun! 'Sides," he moved to stand in front of me, leaning one shoulder against the wooden support beam there that was holding up the decrepit old staircase above us, "it's not a waste. I'm a big fan of my El time. Love having any excuse to hang out with ya and have you all to myself."

Cue heart spasm.

Dropping my gaze and tugging my Ice Palace cap down to hide my warming cheeks, I zeroed in on opening my lunch bag with far more acute focus than was absolutely necessary. Let's see what Mama Rayne had packed for me today, inquiring minds were simply dying to know. To him, I just mumbled, "To each their own, I guess."

"So…" he reached a hand out, index finger flicking the bill of my hat back up so he could meet my eyes when he smirked, "...you kissed me."

All color drained from my face.

Crud. Was hoping this wouldn't come up.

"I'm sorry!" came bursting out of me.

His head rocked back before he snorted and sighed, "You apologize too much, ya know that? Fine, I'll bite. What're you sorry for now?"

"I should've asked if that was okay before I did it!" I took off my cap, wringing it between my hands. "I overstepped, I shouldn't have just assumed! I hope I didn't freak you out or make things awkward or uncomfortable or, or weird or-"

"Woah, woah, slow down," he chuckled, holding up his hands. "Ya got nothing to worry about. I was totally, one hundred and ten percent cool with it!"

My eyebrows knit together. "Really?" I frowned, absently setting the hat down on the box. "But you seemed so… I thought I might've upset you or-"

"Upset? Nah, not even a lil bit! Surprised, maybe, cuz I never in a million years expected you to, ah… heh…" he paused, pursing his lips to the right as he dragged his hand along the nape of his neck. Then he closed his eyes in a grin, "How 'bout this? This, right here, right now, is me giving you the okay to do whatever you want to me from now on in order to maintain your girlfriend cover. Anything goes, got it?"

Eyes growing round, I stammered, "A-anything?"

He couldn't be serious! Anything was a lot. Anything was… well, anything.

"Yup, anything! Don't hold back. Just feel free to go to town on me."

This was too much power. Do not want. Take it back.

"I, uh…" What does one even say to that? "O-okay… thanks?" Was this something I should be thanking him for? Seemed like a weird thing to thank him for. This whole discussion just seemed weird, period. Concentrating on my packed lunch once more, I pulled out a ziplock of baby carrots. "...I don't think I'll be, er… going to town on you any time soon though, but the offer is, ah…" Is what? "...appreciated?" Sure, let's go with that.

"Shame," Lea tsked under his breath, then snerked as his hand shot up to block the carrot I threw at him. "Kidding, kidding! Still, just know that door's always open, in case ya ever wanna put on a bit of a show for any audience we might have. I won't be bothered. Promise."

"I'll keep that in mind," I muttered, taking out a second carrot to nibble on as I averted my gaze. Was ready to talk about something else now.

"Still, fact of the matter remains," one corner of his lips curled up, "you kissed me."

Gah! Would he stop saying that already!

A soft harrumph. "Only on the nose."

"One lucky nose!" He hunched forward slightly, pointing at it, "I'll have you know I'm never gonna wash this puppy ever again."

I snorted, setting the ziplock down on the box and reaching back into the paper sack to see what other goodies it contained. "Be serious."

"I am! Wouldn't wanna lose the divine blessing you've bestowed upon it on this fine day!"

Biting back a smile now as I continued to root around in the bag, I shook my head. "Does this mean that you also haven't washed your lips since the-" I abruptly froze, eyes widening and mouth clamping shut.

There was a pause, then I could see out of my peripheral the slow cheshire grin spreading across Lea's face. "Go on, since the…?"

Since the Kissident, was what I'd been about to say.

I knew it.

He knew it.

But did I have the guts to actually power through and finish that sentence?

Frantic fingers grabbing the first thing they could out of the lunch sack, I shoved it into his face with a weak laugh, "Chocolate pudding cup?"

Nope. I sure as heck most certainly did not.

Elsa, Queen of the Skillful and Seamless Subject Change.

"Oo!" he chirped in delight, taking it. Well, he was easily distracted. That, or he was just being nice and letting me off the hook. Probably the latter. "A nose kiss and pudding? Big day!"

With a soft, relieved sigh through my nostrils, I fished out a plastic spoon to hand him as well. "Don't forget about the train ride too. Big day indeed… do you and Roxas do that often?"

Having already torn into it and taken a spoonful into his mouth, he swallowed. "Not really. Only for special occasions. Wouldn't wanna cheapen the experience."

My eyes crinkled. "Because it's already so sophisticated and highbrow to begin with," I said, forgoing the PB and J sandwich at the bottom of the bag for now and instead opting to pull out some string cheese. Removing the wrapper, I asked, "Passing an exam counts as a special occasion?"

"Only the hard as balls ones that can make or break my overall grade for the course," he shrugged, scooping out some more pudding and offering it to me, to which I just shook my head.

"Ah," I rested one hip against the crate, peeling off a thin strip of mozzarella and slipping it into my mouth. "How many years do you have left on your degree anyway?"

"Couple more. Though I hear if I'm a model student, they'll let me graduate early for good behavior."

"Don't think that's how it works," I hummed a low laugh. "Then after that… what was it again? ...a nice little ice cream shanty by the seashore, I believe?"

Lea grinned around his spoon, "Something like that."

Pulling off another strand, I hesitated with a slight frown. "...but why ice cream?" At his cocked head and raised eyebrows, I worried my lower lip between my teeth. How to phrase this? "...it's just been something I've been wondering about actually. What with your mother dropping you off at an ice cream shop before she, ah... split when you were so little, I would have thought it would just be a… a source of bad memories, is all."

He snorted, looking down at his spoon as he swirled it around in the chocolate goop. "S'not the ice cream's fault my deadbeat mom abandoned Saïx and me when we were kids. She's taken a lot from me, I won't let her take that too. 'Sides, also got a lotta good memories tied to ice cream. Fun times with friends and whatnot. It's nice that something so simple can bring a smile to people's faces and I just like the idea of being a part of that. Sounds silly, I know, but what can I say?" He thrust the now heavily pudding-laden utensil up high in the air, "I have a calling! And answer it I must!"

I brought a curled finger to my lips, hiding the tiny smile. "Some calling. You still haven't even guessed which one's my favorite yet."

"Told ya, it's a process," he stuck the spoon into his mouth, holding it there as he squinted thoughtfully. "Speaking of… lessee, what other flavors haven't come up yet… ah! Three Wishes?" he asked, pointing the plastic implement at me. Then he scoffed, "Yeah right. Way too gimmicky with all that blue cotton candy. It's trying too hard. Classy and effortless is more your speed."

My smile ticked wider as my fingers plucked further at the string cheese. "Are we still even talking about ice cream anymore?"

"Course! Trust me, I've got this down to a science. I know my shit."

"If you say so," I gave a soft snort. "You really have me at the edge of my seat here. I can't wait to see which one you finally land on."

"Me neither. I'm just as much on this journey as you are," he chuckled, tossing the now empty cup onto the crate alongside the paper bag. Propping one shoulder against the post again, he looked down and scratched his cheek. "...hey, so, ya free in a couple nights? Saïx's been wanting to meet my new lady friend and suggested we have you over for dinner."

Finishing the last of my own snack, I quirked an eyebrow at him. "He knows you have a lady friend?"

"Wasn't hard for him to guess since I've been out all night a lot recently, what with your couch being my new home away from home."

"Oh." My fingers reached for a tendril of my ponytail to twist as I mulled for a second. "Yeah, I suppose… I don't have any closing shifts coming up for a while, so I'm free for the next few nights. Just let me know when."

"Sweet! We can see this as a test run of sorts. Practice for the big weekend with your folks and-" he suddenly fell silent, head jerking to his right. I blinked, confused. Then I heard it too. This soft rattling coming from the doorknob - the telltale sounds of a lock being picked. "Crap! The kiddos! Hide," Lea hissed, grabbing my shoulders and shoving us both beneath the staircase, my back hitting the wall behind me.

The door burst open. I didn't so much see it since the stairs were now between me and it, blocking my line of sight, but I heard it along with the echoing laughter of two very familiar voices. As it slammed shut again and the staircase began to quake from feet running up it hard, I heard Xion ask, "Think we'll find them up there?"

"Probably." That was Roxas. I turned my head to the left, watching through the slats between the steps as his sneakers blurred past. "Giving each other tonsillectomies, no doubt."

My face heated as I realized they were talking about Lea and me.

But good news! Lea's plan was working. People thought we were off somewhere, er... shall we say, necking.

Or at the very least, those two thought so anyway.

I heard a snigger from Xion as her boots rushed past the gap not too far behind him. "Perfect. Let's scare them shitless."

They both cackled and tried to shush each other at the same time as I heard their thudding footsteps fade further and further away above us. Once I was certain they were gone, I puffed out the breath I'd been holding.

That's when I became aware of several things. Very, very aware.

Aware of the familiar feeling of Lea's eyes on me. Aware of how close we were. Of his grip still on my shoulders. Of my hands on his chest. Of the gentle thud of his heartbeat beneath my fingertips. Of his warm, spicy boy scent. Of his body pressed to mine, pinning me to the wall still from his rush just seconds ago to get us both out of sight. Of the fact that I could still sense his gaze on me.

Oh gosh, was there something on my face?

I slowly turned my head to look up at him and meet his eyes. He had that look in them again that I'd seen once or twice before. The one that made my insides twist and flip-flop.

Emergency! This is not a drill, people! Fetch the conceal-don't-feel armor and suit up, stat! I repeat, this is not a drill!

The slightest hint of a grin tugged at the corner of his lips and when he spoke, his voice was low. Barely above a whisper. "You know what would… really sell this make-out sesh? ...if right along here..." he ran the tip of his index finger along the side of my neck down to where it met my shoulder, so lightly I hardly felt it, his eyes following its trail the whole time, "...there was a hickey. Maybe two or three. Ya know… just for appearances, of course..."

I just stared at him for a second. Then two. Then I smiled, "That's a great idea!"

He looked taken aback, his gaze widening. "Wait, really?!"

"Of course! Did you bring any makeup with you?" I asked. He just gave me a blank look. "You know, like your guyliner. Do you have anything else? Something that could make the fake marks look convincing?"

He blinked a couple times. "Makeup… right… that's what I meant… heh..." his eyes darted to the left. "But shoot, you know what? Didn't bring any with me." A slow smirk stretching across his face now, he bent down to press his forehead to mine as his eyes hooded, "But hey... we could also always make 'em the old fashioned way."

Once more I stared, expression neutral.

Processing… processing…

Then my eyelids drooped. "...you're messing with me again, aren't you?"

Lea stiffened. Then he relaxed, straightening back up and bracing an elbow against the wall above my head, resting his brow to his forearm as his whole body shook with a soft chuckle. "Yup! Yup, you uh… you caught me alright! Totes was."

Conceal-don't-feel armor saves the day once again! If it hadn't been for that, my heart might have exploded in that situation.

Man, was I getting good at deflecting these little jokes of his now or what?

He shifted over and away from me, giving us both some breathing room now. "Do you think maybe we should go somewhere else?" I asked, my gaze drifting up the clocktower as I returned to the crate, repacking my lunch back into its bag and picking up my hat. Thank goodness the "kiddos" hadn't noticed this stuff before dashing upstairs. "Just so Xion and Roxas don't catch us down here?"

"Sure, good call. I gotta few other secret spots 'round this place we can hole up in until your lunch is over." He went to the door, pushing it open a crack so he could peek out.

"Okay," I nodded while waiting for him to make sure the coast was clear. Then I grinned. "You know, you almost had me going back there with the hickies."

"If only," he muttered so softly, I wasn't sure I'd heard correctly.

"Hm?"

His shoulders tensed, then he breathed a feeble laugh as he glanced back at me, "If only… I'd, er... remembered to bring some makeup! Ah well, maybe next time, huh? C'mon, let's go." His hand reached for mine.

I took it and suddenly my hand didn't feel so sad anymore as I let him lead me back out into the mall.

I couldn't sleep.

I rolled over onto my left side, pulling the sheets up to my chin and curling in on myself a bit. Then over to my right. A few seconds ticked by. Then I rested my back to the mattress and frowned up at my bedroom ceiling, at the long thin patch of frail moonlight slashing across it from between the curtains of my window. Sighing, I tossed over onto my side again and tried putting my head beneath the pillow this time, hoping the added darkness and some light hypoxia would do the trick to knock me out.

No such luck.

With another heavy sigh, I sat up, letting the pillow fall back down behind me. I brought a hand up towards one of my earplugs, stopping just short of reaching it as I frowned over at the wall I shared with my roommates. Then I tentatively pulled it out, already preemptively grimacing as the noises I might hear.

Instead my ears were greeted with a very different sound and from a different direction no less. Coming through my closed door from the living room was a faint, hollow murmur of voices. I squinted towards it, tipping my head to one side. Was that… the TV? Tugging the other earplug out, I set both down onto my nightstand as I listened for another minute, my fingers fiddling with my braid. Then folding my sheets away from me, I got out of bed, smoothed my nightgown and crept over to the door to open it.

Lea was sitting on his couch out here, the glow of the television screen the only thing illuminating him in the otherwise dark living room. Since him couch-surfing here was becoming a bit of a habit now, he'd started bringing an overnight bag with him for things like toiletries and the pyjamas he was currently wearing - a black tank top and PJ pants patterned with tiny fireballs sporting evil smiley faces. In fact I think it may have been the same design on the frisbees I'd seen back at his apartment. Some kind of brand logo, perhaps?

His elbows were braced up on the backrest behind him, temple propped against one fist as he watched the screen. He glanced over at me as I stepped out, quirking an eyebrow and lifting his head off his knuckles. "El?"

I gave my braid a tiny tug before dropping my hands and clasping them together, forcing them to be still as I gave him a small smile. "You're up late."

He grinned back. "Yeah. Never really could pass out to total silence," he nodded towards where his own earplugs laid discarded on the coffee table. Then he wrinkled his nose, shooting a sideways glance towards Rayne's and Riku's room. "But shit, you weren't kidding 'bout those two going at it like jackrabbits in there. Had to do something to tune 'em out, so turned on the ol' tube and guess what I found?"

I moved to stand beside him for a better view of the TV. The scene was currently zoomed in on a couple riding in the back row seat of a trolley. The girl was distracted, lost in whatever she was talking about while the guy was reaching his hand over to tuck her hair back, only to awkwardly snatch it away when she suddenly turned to look at him, completely oblivious to the gesture as she continued to enthusiastically ramble on. My smile grew as I took a seat next to Lea. "It's Before Dawn. Imagine that."

"I know. What timing, right?" he hummed a small laugh. We were both quiet for a few seconds, simply watching the movie. Then he nudged my knee with his, "And what brings ya out here in the middle of the night? Other than the pleasure of my charming company, of course."

That earned him a soft snort as I slouched more comfortably into the sofa and picked up one of the small throw pillows, hugging it in my arms. "Trouble sleeping."

"Oh?" he looked over at me, relaxing his hand along the top of the cushions behind my head. "Something on your mind?"

I gnawed on my bottom lip, not taking my eyes off the television even though I wasn't really paying attention to it anymore. "...it's just coming up so fast."

Brow furrowing, he squinted up at the ceiling in thought for a second. "You mean our visit to the parental units?"

My insides churned as I gave a small nod. "It's only a week away now. It doesn't feel like enough time. I don't know if I'll be able to go through with this… if we… if I will be prepared in time… if I'll be able to face them."

"Hey, don't worry 'bout it," he flashed a warm grin. "You and me? We got this. I like to think we've become quite the awesome dynamic duo. Gotten pretty good at this whole girlfriend-boyfriend thing. Got the entire mall buying into our story and if we can fool them, we can fool anyone."

"But it's not anyone," I muttered, squeezing the pillow more tightly to me. "It's Father. And Mother. And..." my face scrunched up, "...the Duke too? ...for some reason? Anyway, tricking Father for a grand total of five minutes was one thing, but now? Now it's my whole family. For a whole weekend. What if they find out?" Oh dear, I could already feel a panic attack coming on just thinking about it. I turned my head, frowning at him. "...what if I can't do this?"

The hand behind me lifted, hesitantly hovering and shifting about for a second before settling on a quick, reassuring pat to my head. "Just say the word and you can pull the plug on this whole op anytime ya want. Don't force yourself to do anything you don't wanna do. But just know you're a lot stronger than you think. And chances are? It won't be as bad as you fear." He poked himself in the side of the head, just above his left ear, "Our brains like to mess with us, tell us things will be a lot worse than they actually turn out to be. And 'sides, you won't be doing this alone. I'll be right there with you the whole weekend. Your sister too. We got your back. You got a support system. Consider us your safety net. We'll be there to pick up the slack and catch you if you fall."

I bowed my head, nose perched on top of the edge of the pillow now. "...thank you. That helps," I muffled into it, my tiny smile hidden. And I meant it. I could already feel some of my unease starting to slip away. Straightening back up and tossing my head back onto the couch, I inhaled deeply before loudly exhaling. "I should just stop thinking about it. Stressing out over it now does me no good. I need to be talking about something else."

"Something else, huh?" he mumbled, eyes returning to the movie as he scratched the tip of his nose. "...so I had a thought. Remember the other day when you said you'd be looking for a new place in a few months when lil Baby Hewley arrived?" His knee started jiggling up and down while out of the corner of my eye, I could see his fingers fidgeting with the seam of the backrest cushions. "Well, what if… and ya know, this would only be if you weren't able to find somewhere on your own and if, like… you had no place else to go and were up shit's creek and whatnot, but… what if you moved in with…" he glanced back my way, "...me?"

I blinked at him. "...you?"

His face brightened. "Yeah, whaddya think? We got plenty of space for ya! It'll be a total blast! And hey, we could even get ya a puppy."

Fighting a grin, I quirked an eyebrow. "A puppy? But what about Saïx?"

"Psh," he brushed off, one hand batting the air. "Saïx can fight me. You want a dog? You're getting a dog, end of story."

I snerked and looked down. Lips pursing to one side, I did a mental replay of what I could remember of when Lea had given me the grand tour of his apartment. "...am I forgetting a third bedroom you guys have?"

"Nah," he shook his head, "just the two. But you can have mine and I'll just… I dunno, sleep on the couch."

"You can't sleep on the couch in your own home," I scoffed.

"Sure I can! I'm actually growing quite accustomed to catching some Z's on 'em. These bad boys are surprisingly comfy," he pat the armrest next to him and beamed. "In fact, dunno if I can ever go back to a lame ol' bed again!"

Rolling my eyes, I said, "I meant because Saïx will see you. Won't he have questions about you sleeping on the sofa every night?"

"Oh. Right," he laughed, fingers ruffling his hair. "Well then I can just… sleep in the room with you. On the floor," he hastily amended. "Yeah, it'll be fun! Like a slumber party every night!"

One side of my lips twitched up as I toyed with the corner of the throw pillow I was still holding snug. "You're sweet, but… no, that'd just be crazy."

"...yeah. Crazy," he averted his gaze with a tiny chuckle. Then he frowned, plucking the short hairs at the nape of his neck. "...is it though? I mean, think about it. It'd be like the next stage of our dating evolution. That's what all couples do sooner or later, right? Move in together?"

"But the baby will be here in, what…" both my eyebrows rose as I stared off into space, "...four more months? Five? I figure we'll have probably staged a breakup by then."

"Breakup?!" he jerked forward in his seat, eyes widening slightly.

I knit my eyebrows together. "Well yeah. You… didn't think we were going to be fake dating forever, right?"

"Well, I…" he hunched forward, propping his elbows on his knees and folding his hands together beneath his nose as he narrowed his gaze on the floor. "...no, I guess not."

I tilted my head at him. Then opened my mouth. Then closed it. I focused on the TV instead. "...I figured… it'd be some time after we visited my parents. Depending on how it goes, of course. Once I was…" I shrugged, gripping the pillow more tightly, "...sure they weren't going to try to interfere with my life anymore. After that… maybe a few more weeks? A month, perhaps? Just so it wouldn't look too quick, too… suspicious or raise questions…"

Why was this so hard? Why did it make my heart squeeze, just a bit? Come on, it's not like it was a real breakup! Besides, this could maybe, possibly, eventually open up the door to actually start something more real with him in the future. If I ever got the guts up to even pursue something like that… whenever he started dating again… which would be when he no longer had to focus on his schoolwork… aka when he graduated...

...in two years…

Why did that suddenly seem like an eternity?

"...yeah," he sighed and slumped back again, his arm returning to its position behind me as he stretched them both out along the backrest once more, "that all makes sense, I guess." His lips were a flat line for a few seconds, but then he grinned over at me. "Tell ya one thing, though. Fake getting over you ain't gonna be easy. Might have to try and fake win you back."

"Oh no," I stifled a soft laugh into my fingers. "Hang on, let me guess… You. In a trenchcoat. Standing in the middle of the bustling food court. Boombox held high over your head and blasting out some old, cheesy love song. That about sum it up?"

He smirked, "Ah, fan of the classics like me, I see. Good guess, but I was actually thinking less John Cusack in Say Anything and more Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. Me. With a mic hacked into the food court's overhead speakers. Singing and dancing around on table tops while mall security chases me all over the place."

This big dork really was a sap. That is, if his taste in movies had anything to say about it.

Shaking my head in amusement, I said, "Who's to say you'd even fake want me back? Maybe it's you who ends up fake dumping me."

He huffed out a derisive snort, "Not a chance. I'd never be dumb enough to let someone like you go." I looked away, grateful the light from the TV wasn't bright enough to reveal the gentle warmth spreading into my cheeks. Lea shrugged as he went on, "Now, dumb enough to do something stupid and royally fuck it up so you'd kick my ass to the curb however? Yeah, now that sounds like it'd be pretty on brand for me."

"No, I don't think so," I smiled, resting my chin atop the seam of the throw pillow. "...thanks, Lea. I feel a lot better now. You're a… a really good friend."

Lea was quick to return the smile, "It's what I'm here for!" His gaze went back to the screen and there was a brief pause where the only sound was the low drone from the movie. "So… was that your roundabout way of wishing me a good night?"

"Hmm..." A beat before I shook my head, "Not yet. I think I'd like to stay and watch for a little while longer, if that's alright."

"It's more than alright," the corners of his eyes crinkled as he settled into his seat more comfortably. "It's alright times two."

I'm not sure exactly when it was I nodded off. Last scene I clearly remembered was our leading couple sitting at a restaurant together, their hands miming phones to their ears as they made imaginary calls to one another, so it must have been not too long after that. Next thing I knew I was blinking blearily at the television as it showed the girl now sitting on a bed in a small apartment, serenading the guy with her guitar. They both looked maybe a few years older. Must have been one of the sequels to the first movie. I was less familiar with those. It seemed Lea had stumbled upon some sort of late night marathon.

As consciousness returned to me piece by tiny piece, it slowly came to my attention that there was something... off about the pillow my cheek was resting against. Like the fact that it was oddly firm. And warm. And…

...breathing?

Eyes fully snapping open now, they darted about to realize I'd fallen asleep on Lea. Against his chest, to be exact. Embarrassed and panicking maybe just a smidge, I immediately tried to straighten up and away from him, only to be held firmly in place by the arm - his arm - that was draped heavily around my shoulders. I furrowed my brow over at it. Wha-?

Then he made a noise and I tensed.

Took me several heart-pounding seconds to register that noise for what it was.

A snore.

Puffing out a hushed breath and forcing my muscles to relax, I tentatively, cautiously turned my head to try and look up at him. Didn't work, and it only took me another second to realize why. There was a weight pressing down on the top of my hair that I hadn't really noticed until just now.

He was using my head as a pillow.

Welp. This was quite the predicament I found myself in.

Oh gosh, I just hope we'd fallen asleep roughly around the same time and had just, I don't know... naturally gravitated toward one another in our slumber? If I'd been snuggling up to him like this while he was awake the whole time, I'd never live it down.

Next thing my brain decided to alert me to was the fact that I'd misplaced my throw pillow. I must have dropped it when I'd dozed off for I was pretty sure I could feel it on the floor brushing against my bare feet. But that wasn't the important part. No, the important part was what my hands had decided to do in the wake of its disappearance. Left hand? It was good. Just laying there in my lap, all well behaved and polite-like. The right one, however? Had found its way over to rest atop Lea's knee. The little trollop. Especially considering that one of his hands was currently covering it. Had it no decency? No shame?

I considered my situation for another minute. Then taking a deep breath, I decided to commence with the extraction. Should be easier now that I was fully awake and aware of my circumstances so I could approach it all with a cooler, more level head.

First I used my free hand to gently lift his arm from my shoulder and gingerly set it back down on the couch backrest. Another snore from him and I froze. After a few seconds where nothing else happened however and I was sure I hadn't disturbed him, I then proceeded to bring my hand back up, this time to delicately press my fingertips to his chin.

Careful now,��careful… wouldn't want to wake him…

I slowly pushed his head off mine and kept going until it lolled back onto the cushions behind him instead. With nothing left weighing me down now, I crept up onto my feet and peeked back at him to make sure he still snoozed. I was rewarded with yet another soft snore. That was all the confirmation I needed. I turned to make a break for my room.

Victory! Success! Elsa, Queen of The Daring Escape and-

Ack!

...okay, so something had just happened. More precisely, two somethings, both occurring at the exact same time. The first? Was my arm being pulled taut and bouncing me back like a rubber band stretched too tight. I stumbled but caught myself, the carpet muffling any sound I might have made. The second? Now that was just a word. One single, solitary word:

"Stay."

That one word sent my heart catapulting up into my throat as I whipped around to discover Lea had pulled his head up and was now looking straight at me.

Fudge, fudge, fudge, fudge!

...but actually… wait… his eyelids were sagging heavily. Half closed and groggy. His expression slack. And now that I thought about, when he'd spoken, it had come out sounding a little… sluggish? One might even say… drowsy?

...was he still half asleep?

I haltingly raised a hand to wave in front of his face. No reaction. As my shallow breaths began to slow and my heart rate calmed, I next looked down at my other hand to see what the snag had been there. This was the one that had been on his knee with his hand on top of it. Was still on top of it and, in fact, had tightened his grip around my fingers. This was what had snared me and brought my getaway to a screeching halt.

Yeesh, what a clingy sleeper he must be.

I brought my gaze back up to his face. He was still giving me that droopy, zombie-eyed stare. I tucked in my lower lip, studying him for a moment. Then I took a tiny step closer and bent over him slightly. My free hand came up, reaching for him. I froze midway, fingers curling towards my palm, hesitating. But only for a heartbeat before I was pushing forward again.

"Shh… go back to sleep," I whispered, gently stroking his hair just above his ear.

His really, really soft, silky smooth hair.

Which I'd not been expecting. Not at all.

Crud, I shouldn't be blushing this much.

However, it seemed to have the desired effect. His eyelids drifted all the way closed now as his head sank back down into the couch cushion. His hold on my hand relaxed enough for me to slip it free. I straightened back up, rubbing my rescued hand with the other as I watched him sleep for a few more seconds, my head tipping to one side. Then I retrieved the throw pillow from the floor and put it back on the sofa next to him before picking up the comforter to drape over him. It was only now I realized that it was too small for him for if I brought it up to cover his shoulders, it left his feet exposed.

The friggin' behemoth. Why hadn't he said anything? I'd have to see about finding a bigger one for him tomorrow.

I briefly considered turning off the TV but decided against it on the off chance the sudden lack of noise would wake him. Turning, I tiptoed back towards my bedroom, stopping in the doorway for one last backwards glance at him. Still out like a light. A grin pulled at one side of my mouth as I murmured, "Sweet dreams, sleeping beauty."

The only answer I got was a snore.

Author's Note: Our awkward penguin did it! She intentionally "made a move" for the first time, I'm so proud T_T Looks like our fire boi tried to make a bit of a move himself under the clocktower staircase there… with far less successful results xD One step forward, two steps back, huh? *Siiiiigh* ah well, these two will get there eventually :P And this is yet another chapter I lament not writing anything from Lea's POV… so many scenes in my head going on for him off camera that will never see the light of day xD Fun fact: The ice cream this chapter, Three Wishes, is named after (you guessed it) Agrabah's keyblade and I imagine its description on the menu would look something like: "This blueberry flavored soft serve will have you wishing for more! Comes in a blue cone wrapped in a ring of matching blue cotton candy, with lamp-shaped sugar cubes and a sprinkling of extra sugar to top it all off."

Next chapter, with that "make a move" hurdle finally overcome, what's next in our couple's fake dating adventures? Looks like there's a certain dinner with a certain Moon Boy on the horizon, how will this lil "test run" go? Will it be a resounding success or could it spell utter defeat for our pair? Not to mention the weekend with the folks is fast approaching, will our couple be ready in time? And just how DOES Lea fit his behemoth self into those itty-bitty pirate ship train carts? Some things will forever remain a mystery, but for the rest, stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

[roro-sj]

Family Movies

Summary: Taehyung, Jimin, and Misun are coworkers, but also roommates. When Jimin, who usually serves as the mediator during the banters between Taehyung and Misun, is out for a night, their ‘banter’ turns slightly physical when an embarrassing video of Taehyung becomes their ‘movie night’.

Genre: Fluff/Comedy

Pairings: Taehyung x OC

Word Count: 1.6K

"No, no, no, no, no," Taehyung shakes his head. "No."

"Aw, come on," Misun whines. "It's a good drama-"

"That's not why you want to watch it," Taehyung interjects with a huff. "Shall we revisit what you said earlier?"

He flips his nonexistent long hair and in the highest voice he can muster, teases, "They're both just so hot!"

Indignant, Misun rolls her eyes. "You, sir, have no right to come for their visuals. They are hot, but Hwarang is also a good drama! So, shut up, and watch."

Misun leans back, mildly noticing the arm that was draped across the back of the couch and by default, around her shoulders. Brushing the idea off because her drama was on, she snuggles further into the cushions and flips her hair over the back.

Hair tickling his arm alters Taehyung of their sudden proximity; she slouches into the couch with her arms crossed and in total focus, her head mere inches from actually resting on his arm. He finds his eyes trailing her profile: from the top of her head to the gentle slope of her nose and still lower, from her full, pink lips that were pressed together in excitement at the TV screen to her chin that she always jutted out during their bickering.

She was beautiful.

Her eyes animatedly widen every couple of minutes at the scenes unfolding in front of her, and Taehyung takes note of her dark, curled eyelashes that create gentle shadows on her cheekbones. The brighter scenes bring out the sparkle in her dark eyes, those stars in her night sky; each one shone with her determination, her passion, her love.

She was so devoted and sincere, so-

"Adorable!" Misun squeals, hugging her knees as she falls into Taehyung. For a second, he allows a smile to reach his eyes.

Yes, adorable, he thinks.

Until he realizes that she was gushing about those stupid actors.

"Ohmygod Tae," she clutches onto his arm. "Look at how much he looks like you!"

Taehyung scoffs. "He does not. Who even has long hair anymore?" He crosses his arms and leans away from Misun.

"Don't pout," she babies, shaking his leg, before pinching it and returning her voice to its normal pitch. "Besides," she snaps, "it's a historical drama, idiot."

Taehyung sighs, getting off the couch and towering over Misun. "I demand a video change. If Jimin was here, this would be so much easier."

"If Jimin was here, he'd be on my side," she retorts.

"Look," he pleads. "I'll watch anything. Just not this. Please?"

Looking into his rounded eyes and pouty lips, Misun didn't have it in her to say no. So, she throws her head back at her inability to refuse.

"Fine," she relents, a somber sigh escaping her mouth. "DVDs, then!"

Misun jumps off the couch and runs to the small cabinet underneath the TV, opening drawers and examining movie titles.

Taehyung blinks. "But we have Netflix. Hulu. HBO? We have everything-"

"DVDs can be fun," she turns around and sticks her tongue out at him. "It's people like you who made them unpopular."

"But the quality-"

"Ooh! What's this?" Misun exclaims. "Hamlet," she mutters, as she inserts the DVD into the player.

Taehyung's eyes widen as soon as he picks up the words she said under her breath. They still had that video!?

"Wait no," he yelps, tripping over his own feet as he struggled to get off the couch. As if his life depended on it, Taehyung shuffles his body across the carpet, uncaring of any rug burns stinging his arms and elbows. He manages to rise on his knees in a crawl and reaches her, stretching to grab the arm that was close to pressing play. "Don't-"

"Get thee to a nunnery."

Taehyung freezes, his body spread across the floor and mouth agape in horror as he hears his own voice from the TV speakers. His head shoots to look at Misun, who's jaw had dropped. She slowly brings a hand to her mouth, no doubt from total shock.

"To a nunnery, go, and quickly too."

Misun can do nothing but witness younger-looking Taehyung with permed hair stride across the stage and grab a girl's chin. He leans his face down so that she can look him in the eyes and continues speaking. Oohs and aahs erupt from the audience at the action and Misun, still incredulous, maintains her eyes glued to the screen.

Completely and utterly mortified, Taehyung sits up straight, eyes shut tightly, hoping to all that is holy that he can disappear this instant. Misun was going to comment in five...four...three...two...

"Taehyung," she gasps, whirling around to face him. Her eyes are wide in disbelief. "Is that you?"

Taehyung's eyes dart around, scanning for an escape, any escape. First, he needed to shut the damn thing off. Lunging for the entertainment center, Taehyung manages to fling the the cabinet door open.

"Oh no you don't." Misun throws herself onto Taehyung, grabbing his arm and pulling it into her body so that she was practically hugging it.

"Go to, I'll no more on it; it hath made me mad. I say, we will have no marriage-"

"Stop listening," Taehyung yells. "La la la la la-"

"Shut up," Misun snaps, still struggling to keep his arm in her grasp. "Stop and let it play. You told me," she huffs, blowing hair out of her eyes, "that we can watch what I want."

Taehyung grunts, trying to contort his body so that he could gain the upper hand. "That's not a movie. It's a stupid high school play."

"Oh yeah," Misun recalls Jimin's previous mention of his acting days. "You're," she elbows him in the gut, "pretty good. Oh, Hamlet," she laughs maniacally.

Taehyung groans at the pain in his stomach, but bites through it, to grab Misun's elbow before she pulls it away. Her breath catches in her throat at the unexpected handle he has over her. She can't move her arm.

"Ha!" Taehyung bellows in victory, stretching his now free arm over her head to shut off the DVD player while the other kept her elbow attached to his gut. He's so close, a couple of centimeters away from the 'Eject' button, when Misun swings her leg over his body and kicks the back of his thigh.

Hard.

"Not today, buddy," Misun breathes hard.

Before he can recover, she loops her foot between his legs and uses momentum to lift her body off the ground and land behind him. In their tangle of lower limbs, she ends up being behind him on the ground and free of his grasp. She wraps her free arms around his upper body and squeezes, trying to grab his arm again.  

She hisses when he violently twists away from her, his sudden movement causing her to fall on top of him. He takes advantage of the moment and holds her waist, elated at the possibility of once again having the upper hand. She writhes in his arms, hoping to move away. Recognition of their novel position, however, causes them to pause.

Misun's eyes widen and she stops struggling. Taehyung sucks in a breath at her  - her reddened cheeks and wild eyes  - and the curtain of dark hair obstructing his view of the living room. His hold loosens.  

"Misun," he breathes.

"Taehyung," she enunciates and he gets lost in her voice, fluttering his eyes shut. "You're," she exhales softly, "so dead."

Taehyung's eyes shoot open.

With a smirk, Misun pins Taehung's arms to the ground. "It's over," she pants. "Let me watch the play!"

He can't do anything but gape at the woman still on top of him. But, he admits to himself, two can play at that game.

"Did you really just," he licks his lips - which had dried from their opened state - and tilts his head, looking up at her still.

"Did I what?" she taunts, a wide smile overtaking her face.

Taehyung raises an eyebrow at her playfulness. "Forget that," he mutters, rolling his head to both sides, inspecting the hold she has on his wrists. "You want to watch the play?"

Misun nods eagerly.

"I did tell you that we'd watch anything you wanted," Taehyung trails off.

Distracted in what Taehyung was saying, Misun was hardly prepared for when Taehyung swiftly flips the two of them so that she was underneath him. He rests on his forearms so that he doesn't crush her and muses, "But I guess we don't always get what we want, do we?"

Shocked at her defeat, Misun tries to pull her arms away from his grasp, emerging unsuccessful. She wills her legs to rise so that she can kick him, but to no avail; he has them locked in-between his legs.

"This isn't fair," she grumbles.

"Oh, but sweetheart, I won fair and square," Taehyung remarks.

At the mention of the name she so greatly despises, Misun scrunches her nose. "Ok first of all, ew, popcorn breath! And second, we talked about this," she stresses. "No ‘sweetheart’!"

Figuring that now was as good as a time as any to annoy her, Taehyung exhales into her face to which she twists her head to the side, still underneath him.

"Popcorn's great, don't you think, sweetheart?"

Before she can reply, the front door opens and a shriek sounds. Jimin.

"Guys! A warning, please!"

[catnip-smuggler-radio]

Have you ever made any characters that you really liked but never went anywhere?

You bet your sweet butt I have!Shoot.  So, I’ve been rping in Realm for like six years.  First time ever rping in really any medium actually.  My first character was a Garlean bomb maker but after about two years and major life events both IC and OOC, I lost my ability to headspace him well and tried to make a new ‘main’.  What followed was about a year of me flailing around as I tried to find a new character I wanted to play.  I made around half a dozen or so during this time.  Three are throw aways not worth mentioning now but I did make three good ones that sort of failed for different reasons.First major character I was considering sticking with was a Bounty and Void Hunter named Hojo’to Zuginoch.  He was alright but for some reason I just never clicked with him despite him being a solid character. However his creation lead to ultimately my most important creation:The Voidspawn Rhyme was created to be Hojo’s main antagonist.  Rhyme has been a staple of my plots for awhile now but since I couldn’t have Rhyme as a character in game, I had to make some that could wield him and thus we get our third character: the mad miqo’te necromancer named Crate.Here, we find my most important character during this transition.Crate became a linchpin between all my old characters as well as a sort of prototype for Tray.Crate was, is actually since he’s technically still alive, a short, blonde, egotistical maniac that partied hard and enjoyed creating chaos for the sheer sake of fun.  He was actually a delight to play and had some fairly serious play and even several player antagonists.  He even has one of my all time favorite posts I ever did on the RPC.  Ill post that below if anyone is interested.He was a stinker.And there in dwelt the problem.He had no balance.To play him properly meant, well, I had to be willing to literally find moments to cause chaos constantly. And a few times, when in the middle of a scene, Crate would de-rail the scene by acting in character and causing problems.  Like one time he started a bar brawl by harassing someone’s husband and basically ruining a bar night an FC was hosting as it devolved into like ten people fighting. Memorable and funny but impacted others RP and thus it was hard to establish connections with him outside of the antagonist sort of relations.  I stuck with Crate the longest during that year of transition but eventually realized I needed a more toned down version of his antics and eventually brought some of those -party boy- traits to Tray, but on a more balanced scaleSo, Crate was a very important experiment for me.  He taught me the need for balance in my characters, and that being true to a character is awesome but not always good for a -main- since you want a main you can get rp with. LOL.He hold a special place in my heart.Now, as promised, here is the copy/paste of that scene. BUT I’ll put it below a cut since this is long enough as is. ((Thank you very much for the ask!))

The restaurant had once been a high and well to do establishment, nestled comfortably between massive building that towered up to join the rest of the Limsa skyline. But that was no more. Now the renowned restaurant had fallen to the wayside and clung to its former glory as best it could. Few, if any one of any upper class status now came here and even fewer working class figures came here due to the still extraordinarily high prices the menu claimed the food was worth. But despite all this, a lone figure sat at a table; his mouth chewing veraciously on a mouthful of meat. On the table before him was a pile of dirty and used plates, cups, bowls, napkins and silverware; all crusted with food.

The young looking miqo'te that called himself 'Crate' tore another chunk off of his sandwich and chewed, his ears ringing with the loud music pumping through the two, custom built linkpearls that were inserted into his pointed ears.  He was small and sickly looking and dressed in robes that were several sizes too big for him.  For a Seeker, his flesh was a disturbingly pale and his blond hair was a puffy, tangled mess.  His twin, black eyes looked over the sea of food that awaited him and he kept eating. In truth it was amazing that a, well, boy whom looked like a strong wind might blow him over, could consume so much

For the past three and half hours Crate had been sitting at the table, eating and keeping the flames in the kitchen burning hot. The thin, young man was enjoying himself immensely, though the restaurant staff was growing tired. Crate swallowed a chunk of food, his throat bulging as the wad slid slowly down, his body shaking wildly to the instrumental beat that pulsed into his ears. He was about to take another large bite when a figure tapped his shoulder and he spun around quickly, his eyes gazing up at a tall man dressed in a fine suit. Crate beamed a smile at the newcomer. The waiter moved his mouth to say something but whatever he had said was lost as the music’s roar.

“What?”Crate yelled, forgetting that he was the only one hearing the loud noise that was coming through the pearl. The waiter, slightly startled by Crate’s outburst, took a moment to recompose himself before asking again. Again, Crate couldn’t hear any thing and shouted as he stuck the last piece of the sandwich into his mouth.

“Sorry!” Crate yelled. “Still can’t here you!” The waiter brushed the showering of crumbs off his suit and pulled the pearls out of Crate’s ears and handed them to the miqo'te.

“Hey now!” protested Crate, his mouth still full of food as he snatched up his linkpearls. “I was enjoying that.”

“I am well aware of that fact.” came the waiter, who was doing his best to hide the edge in his voice as he spoke to the young man.

“Then why’d ya go and pull it off like that?” whined Crate as he swallowed; his eyes bulging slightly and a smile covering his face. “Could have just asked.”

“I tried,” the waiter paused and decided best to just move to the matter at hand. “Anyway the cooks are taking a break, so I’m going to need to ask that you pay your tab now and leave.”

“And what if I’m still hungry?” Crate inquired, his eyes wide and pleading. The waiter looked at the mountain of plates stacked up before him and raised an eyebrow.

“If you are,” muttered the waiter. “I’ll need to send you down to med hall for examination.” Crate burst into hysterical laughter and leaned back in his chair, his left arm slapping the waiter good humoredly.

“Well I guess I can call it a day then. But I’ll be back later.  After all, I'm eating for more than just me!” Crate finished speaking and then calmly let himself fall backwards, his chair hitting the ground. As soon as the wooden chair hit the marble floor, Crate used the inertia created to roll backwards and rise to his feet. The waiter stood, staring at the spectacle. “Well thanks for the grub. Laters.”

Crate was already halfway towards the door when his field of vision suddenly became consumed by a small sheet of white paper with a very large number attached to the bottom. The waiter cleared his throat.           

“Your tab.” and after a moment, the Waiter added sarcastically. “Sir.” For a moment Crate could only stare at the number, his smile falling slightly.

“You sure that bill is mine?” chuckled Crate, his eyes twinkling suddenly as an idea crept into his blonde haired head.

“Without a doubt.” replied the Waiter and Crate didn’t miss the hint of triumph in the voice.

“Well then.”Crate paused and looked over at the bar. “Since I don’t think that’s my tab, I’m going to challenge you to a little drinking game.” The young man was already over at the bar and seating himself on a stool, his eyes running over the various liquids available. “Here’s the game. I bet that I can empty one glass of milk before you can drink two shots of any liquor you choose. I win, the tab isn’t mine, you win and I’ll do all the dishes for you, plus pay the tab.” Crate turned back and looked at the stupefied waiter. “Sound fine to you?”

For a moment, the man in the waiter’s suit could only wonder at the ridiculous statement the boy had made. This was absurd! But Crate gave a cough and the waiter thought. If he was too lose, his boss would take it out of his hid for losing all the money. On the plus side, it would be wonderful to see this boy put in his place for once. Besides, there was no way Crate could drink a large glass of milk before he could drink two shots. So, with a bit of a strut, the waiter climbed behind the counter and looked Crate right in the eyes.

“You’re on.”

“Excellent.” was Crates response and he watched with feigned interest as the waiter began to fumble with various cups. Crate was not surprised when the biggest glass he had ever seen was placed before him, the milk right up against the brim. The waiter then placed to shots of Brandy on the counter and the two glared at each other like a pair of gun slingers.

“I trust you’re ready?” sneered the waiter.

“I guess.” replied Crate, a yawn escaping his lips.

“Then, go!” the waiter had already seized the first shot and had thrown his head back, the brandy hot on his throat. His other hand was already fumbling for the second shot when he felt something cold and wet hit the flesh of his hand. He looked down and saw the tall glass upside down and the milk flowing all over the counter and dripping off the sides onto the floor. Crate had already left his seat and was heading out the door.

“Hey!”shrieked the waiter, his face a mask of utter outrage. “Just what are you doing?”

“Um,” came Crate, sticking his head back through the door. “I won the bet sooooo I’m leaving.”

“You did not! You didn’t even have a sip, you only spilt the glass. You lost” shouted the obstinate waiter.

“No,” came Crate again, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “I won, see the bet was I could empty a glass of milk before you could drink two shots of liquor and from where I’m standing, that glass looks pretty empty.” The waiter stared in shock, the realization of Crate’s words hitting him like a hammer. Crate shrugged and flashed the waiter a wink. “See you for dinner!” And with that the young man was gone, the door closing with a triumphant slam.   The waiter paused a minute, his brain still processing what had transpired. Suddenly he came to life and ran for the door after Crate to force him to pay. The waiter burst into the street but by then, Crate had disappeared in the crowd.

Among the throngs of people, the small miqo'te weaved, slipping his linkpearls back in, the music playing again as he grinned to himself.

"Crate."  the small male blinked as his master's voice spilled over the comm and he waved his hand.  The music stopped and he lowered his voice as he smiled.

"Ah, there you are, my dear master. Was wondering when you would be contacting me."

"I apologize for the delay." the sultry, female voice replied back.  "There have been some issues.  But things are progressing."

"So the prison is weakening?" Crate inquired as he ducked down a side alley.

"Slowly, but we need more help and William's coven was just butchered."  

Crate stopped to stand, stupidly, as he pulled out a toothpick and began to pick roast beef from between his teeth.

"Well, shit. That's a set back."

"Not entirely." the female voice answered.  "One of the voidspawn managed to find an old friend of mine from Kerhiem.

Crate blinked.

"Tornel?" Crate answered at last as he flicked the tooth pick away.   "He's in the asylum I...oh!" Crate nodded eagerly, his mop of hair shaking.  "You mean the sexy collection of metal and muscle. Mhmm I've missed that delicious morsel."

"For a creature over a hundred, you certainly have the drive of a young man." the female replied.  Crate laughed.

"Blame the hormones in this body.  Now then, I take it you didn't call to tease me with a good time."

"Not at all." the female chuckled.  "I need you to get to Tornel before Hojo'to does.  As much as it pains me to say this, I need Tornel removed from this world."

"Axing off an old lover and a useful pawn.  Man, this is urgent."  Crate twitched his tail.  "Can't you make him kill himself via the hex on him?"

"He's warded from me." the female replied. Crate grunted at that.

"Great, gotta do this in person. Alright, I'll start packing and have it done quick as a couerl takes a shit.  Or as quick as a virgin man comes"  Crate snickered impishly.

"Crate." the female voice added, ignoring the miqo'te's lewd statement. "You are not to tamper with his soul or reanimate his body.  A clean death."

"Excuse me..." Crate laughed. "Is that a soft side to you I'm seeing?   Never fear, it'll be clean, Master. Nice and clean. I'll be in touch once its complete."

"Expect to be checking in with Terbia's coven once done. Now that William is a splattered ruin, her organization remains the most efficient means at drawing out the voidspawn at a reasonable pace."

"Your will be done Master."  Crate heard the line go dead.  He waved his hand and the music resumed.  

"It's a good day." Crate grinned as he began to head back towards his hotel room, excited.

[sumeshi-t]

higanbana;

A/N: Okay, a bit late I guess but I started writing this 19th July. Didn't make it in time. Also I forgot which blog I saw the prompts from lmao this is also kinda self-indulgent but hey what’s the use of making self-inserts for your self right

Pairing: OikawaxReader

Wordcount: 3,303 trash

Genre: angst??? try-hard angst yeah im sorry got lost in how to end it i--

*higanbana = red spider lilies. they are associated with final goodbyes, and legend has it that these flowers grow wherever people part ways for good.

tagging some cute lil haikyuu friends :( @floofwrites @akaashit-baeji @sportanime-maniac

•》》》》》》》••《《《《《《《《•●•》》》》》》》••《《《《《《《•

"(y/n)?" Iwaizumi's voice sounded strained, tired even, as he spoke to you through his phone's mouthpiece. You ask what was bothering him on such a fine weekend afternoon. 

"It's been... bugging me for days now, it's such a pain in the ass." 

You hum, taking your time chewing the chips you've put in your mouth. You were binge watching movies on your free day when he called. "Well, you know, that isn't really part of my job. But congratulations on devirginizing your ass, I guess." 

Iwaizumi stutters, and you could clearly see the image of horror and embarrassment on his face in your mind. "T-That's not what I meant!" He clears his throat, before continuing. "Just... I feel like playing again. And I think I've become rusty for the past year."

He hears you gasp, and he wasted no more time in setting a meeting place before completely hanging up on you.

Warmth spreads throughout your chest at his sudden call and the reason why he wanted to meet up suddenly made you giddy. 

You and Iwaizumi go a long way back—way back middle school. By the time you graduated from college, he finally got accepted to play and be part of the National team. So you mustered enough courage and confidence, gathered some experience before applying for the team's physical therapist.

Luckily though, you got hired, and even received compliments from the coach saying that they have never seen the players perform to "such an extent".

It was a fun experience, the team had a great run during those times but one day, Iwaizumi decided to quit. Until now, you never knew why, but soon after he did, you also bid farewell to the team and began working in hospitals or nursing facilities.

So hearing that he wanted to play again set you in a good mood; you even start rummaging through your old files for the training regimen you used to give him, and brought it along with you.

You passed by a convenience store, grabbed two bottles of a light alcoholic drink, the celebratory mood getting to you.

Until you felt utter disappointment, confusion, and even a little annoyed at seeing who was there on the bench, waiting.

"(y/n)-chan~!" 

It was him. 

You suddenly wished that aliens were real so they could just take him. 

"You still call me that? Stop it. Where's Hajime?" You still weren't sitting, tempted to throw the bottles to his good-looking face before he could answer your question. 

Oikawa pouted, scooting over to make space beside him for you on the bench. "First name basis? You two that close already?" 

You didn't even try to understand the underlying tones that statement had. "None of your business. Now if you're not gonna tell me where he is, I'm gonna have to leave. Nice seeing you," 

As you turned around to leave, Oikawa stops you by saying, "I had him call you so we could meet here. So obviously, he's not coming." 

You hesitated, but with a deep sigh, you wordlessly made your way to the bench, placing all the stuff you brought between you and the brunette. He looks down at what you did, and when you weren't looking at him, Oikawa pops open both bottles with a little trick, trying not to smile that you decided to stay. He places your drink next to you, as he holds his own and takes a sip.

Oikawa just looks at you in silence, as your eyes focus on the red spider lilies before you; lined in a straight path, some surrounding the tree nearby. Both your face and his was unreadable, and when you couldn't bear the silence much longer, you took a breath before speaking.

"You didn't have to do that." your eyes narrowed, still refusing to look at Oikawa. 

"Do what?" the way he was feigning innocence got on your nerves a bit but you decided to settle things as mature as adults could be.

"...this whole thing, making Hajime set this up. There's actually, absolutely, no need for it."

"I just need an excuse to hang out with you." He answered immediately, gauging your reaction. Oikawa takes another sip of his drink, "It's been a while since we last talked, (y/n)-chan. I tried texting or calling you but I figured you probably changed numbers."

You bit your bottom lip, looking down on your feet. You take a single gulp of the alcohol and leaned back on your seat, trying to at least relax and feel more comfortable in your own space.

"Why? Felt bored?" You finally spare him a quick glance, and your ex had a long leg over the other, both hands now inside the pockets of his jersey jacket. There was a small flag of Japan by the chest and only then did you remember that he was now also a member of the volleyball National team; perhaps even their captain—you didn't know. Ever since leaving the team, you didn't bother catching up to any news about them. 

When Oikawa didn't answer your question, you mumble, "I heard... you were doing good." 

He shrugs, "More or less... and you?" The brunette sighs, scratching the back of his head. He turned to you with a  slight pout, which you couldn't tear your eyes off of. "Why are we talking like we have sticks up our asses? Iwa-chan sure is rubbing off on you real good." Oikawa whines, his nose stuck in the air after grunting. 

You didn't know why but you found it ridiculous, that you were reminded of the times when you were younger. A chuckle escapes your lips, making his brows raise at your sudden reaction. "God, are you six or something? Trying to be all cute and whiny?"

Oikawa smirks, "So first it's 'nice seeing you'; and now you're saying I'm cute? (y/n)-chan, I'm very flattered. But there's no need to tell me what I already know." He even had the audacity to wink at you and stick his tongue out.

You lightly punch his shoulder, rolling your eyes at his display of narcissism. "Hah, some things... really don't change." 

Oikawa's short burst of playful attitude came to a progressive stop, his calm demeanor slowly resurfacing. "Yeah... guess you could say that."

He then rummages through the files you brought along for Iwaizumi, and he hums in acknowledgment. "So you did become a PT." Oikawa was mumbling to himself, and you didn't even try to take back the folder he was holding. 

'It's better to have minimal physical contact as much as possible.'

You notice his brows scrunching together, and assumed that he was trying to read through the small fonts you used, as Oikawa wasn't wearing his glasses. But what you didn't know was that he was actually glaring at Iwaizumi's photo.

He returns the folder to you, "Think you can be my therapist?" Then, his other hand pats his bad knee thrice.

The question caught you off-guard; just as quick as the good memories flashed by, the bad and painful ones that replaced it were the hardest to ignore. It triggered the memory that began the downfall of your relationship with Oikawa.

See, you and him had made the relationship work through  some similarities and despite of your differences.

You were understanding and supportive of his passion and commitment to his volleyball career. You went to his games and cheered him on no matter the results were; when you had free time, you'd wait until night for him to be done with practice. Meanwhile, he never felt as though you were dragging him down; he even learned to appreciate classic rom-coms because of you and had some of your favorites next to his sci-fi stash; and of course, he fueled the drive you had for achieving your dreams of becoming a doctor.

The amount of selfies you've taken with him is unreal; your gallery also full of memes you both send to Iwaizumi even during dead hours of the night. You hated his gut sometimes, and he doesn't like it when even you nag at him; you were both stubborn, had a little pride here and there—but you knew you felt the happiest when with him, and he always told you that he felt the same.

College came. You were in different universities, but was in the same one as Iwaizumi's. When you were still a freshman, you still had some time to spare; meet up after practice, or him waiting for your class to end. 

It was interesting: you knew one way or another, a match between your university and his would be inevitable.

And Oikawa's team always won. 

But as the semesters went on, both of you spent less and less time together, talked more on occasion than how it used to be. 

For you that was fine, you understood that careers must be prioritized than relationships because both of you were at that age which would decide your individual futures. 

Sometimes you'd get jealous at some of your friends when they're gushing about their own adventures in the romance department that you even mockingly ask yourself if you're actually single.

The relationship just came to a point where you felt like you were the only one trying, making it an effort to meet or hang out.

You had to admit to yourself: it was tiring. And all these, you had no choice but to rant it all out on Iwaizumi—which was part of the reason why you two became much closer. It was completely platonic for you though, no doubt about that.

There was a particular match, you finally had some spare time from your busy schedule and brain-draining program, that you managed to watch it. Though, you were a little late, having arrived halfway through. 

Every step you took closer to the stands, the more you became eager to feel the rush of adrenaline through your veins, of having your throat going dry from screaming and cheering—

But you didn't expect that you'd instead have to swallow a lump in your throat and push back tears. 

When you arrived, the first thing you saw was your boyfriend, Oikawa, lying on the floor of the court, clutching his knee, teeth gritted, sweat and probably some tears on his pained face. And Iwaizumi, on the other side of the net, frozen in shock at what was happening to his bestest friend.

Next thing you knew, you were in the hospital.

It was a bad fall they said.

Probably the court was too slippery. A little misstep.

The worst was that maybe it was the beginning of the end of his career. 

The following days, weeks, weren't really the best. You could say bad things turned to worse things. 

The doctor was a bit too pessimistic for your liking, saying that Oikawa might never be able to use that knee again for volleyball, post-surgery. 

"Since when did you know about this? Was it after the Karasuno match? Or during your freshman year in college? Tooru... please..." you asked him, as he stared ahead at the wall, the usual cheerful dork now seemed to have aged ten more years at the hurtful words of his own doctor. 

Oikawa didn't answer. He didn't know how to answer and he felt that everything came crashing down as he began building his walls higher, keeping everything and everyone out—even you.

You reached out to caress his knee, and you noted the flinch he made under your touch. "Hey... I know it's hard right now, but... trust me, I don't think what the doctor said was true." You pursed your lips; still no reaction from him. 

"I mean... this is why rehabilitation medicine exists! I believe that this could still be worked on and you'll be in your best state in a few month's time, Tooru." You were speaking from your little therapist-to-be heart, the passion, the blood, sweat and tears you've shed so far serving as fuel to strengthen your resolve in wanting to help heal your boyfriend.

You pulled your hand away when Oikawa let out a scoff. 

He gave you a ridiculing look, "What do you know? I don't see you having any problem with your knee."

"T-Tooru... I—"

"Why? Just because you're a student now, you honestly think you could be my therapist?"

Were you hurt? Very. But then there was a voice in your head saying that Oikawa was in much more pain than you could imagine. And so you waited. Patiently. Diligently. 

You didn't want to let him see you crumble at his mere words that only stemmed from his self-loathing. This isn't him, this isn't him. It was your new mantra. 

You could only take so much. 

You still end up crying it out on Iwaizumi. He was able to provide you with the head space you could breathe in. You didn't realize that Oikawa could sense this. That was your mistake, you knew that but only after the split.

"Why don't you leave me alone? All I see from you now is pity. Guess what, (y/n), I don't need any of that from you. Right? I don't make you happy anymore right? You think I didn't know you've already found someone better?" 

This was his mistake. 

The memory of your tears, of your trembling hands, and voice breaking—still stung in his mind. 

"Not once did I pity you, Tooru, because that's not what you need. All this time, I've endured every word you hurled at me like I'm your least favorite person in the world." You sniffed, swallowed. 

"But if that's what's going to make you better, make you happier—then I'll go. I hope you understand how much I've exceeded my limits, only for you to throw me out over and over again."

You gripped hard on the doorknob, and said your final words. "And leave Iwa-kun out of this. I didn't think you would actually doubt a friend and your own girlfriend." You bitterly smile, causing the tears that pooled in your lids to fall.

"Maybe I was wrong to assume that I could become your stronghold through this. I'm sorry for disappointing you, Tooru. Get well soon,"

"And we never talked after that." he murmured, eyes reddening, jaw clenched in an attempt to fight his own tears from falling. 

And you?

You've downed half of your bottle in one go. 

You refuse to look at him because you knew your heart's wounds would reopen and be like onions to your eyes. You let the alcohol spread to make you numb. More, more, you said.

"It's embarrassing but... since you left I have no one to talk to. The days I spent in the hospital was a lot bearable when you used to visit me." 

You took another swig of the alcohol. Another bitter smile  on your lips more bitter than what was burning your throat. "Then don't talk to me now like you're coming back."

"Don't you want me back?"

Your heart ached at his question. You bit your lip, sniffing, trying to find the right answer—your heart wanted yes, but your mind wanted no. "Did I even mean anything to you? Was that all I was to you—just another person you could talk to?"

Oikawa winced at your words. "(y/n), I—I... of course not! You're worth more than that to me!" there was a shaky exhale, and a quick intake of air right after. You figured that he was choking on his own fought back sobs. "I... I'm sorry but I just miss you so, so, so much."

This time, you tried looking him in the eye—and all you could see was a mirror of your own pain. His ears were already red, indicating the emotions he was holding back on you—a trait of his that you can't seem to forget.

"There's a difference between missing someone and missing having someone, Oikawa." He flinched at how much you tried to put distance between the two of you for calling him that way. Oikawa tried to answer but you continued, "I, for one, miss you because I..." you gasped, letting the tears stream down your face. "Because I never stopped loving you, Tooru."

Oikawa was frozen in his seat, watching you as you harshly wiped tear streaks from your face, finishing your drink then gathering your things and standing up to leave. You quickly walked away without looking back, and that was the only time the brunette finally found how to move his limbs. He was so at a loss that he forgot his own unfinished drink on the bench.

"W-Wait, (y/n)-chan! (y/n)," Oikawa chased after you, unable to control his own strength once he grabbed your arm, making all your things fall to the grass. You pull your arm away but he holds you by the shoulders.

"Why are you leaving? I'm not going to push you away anymore, (y/n)." His grip on you got tighter, as if he was restraining himself from pulling you close to him and capturing your body in his. 

You look down, avoiding his stare, seeing red spider lilies once more by your feet where your things were scattered. 

His hands slide down to grasp your hands in his. They're still as warm as I remember them to be. 

"...Real feelings don't just go away."

"So why did you let me leave?" Your lips trembled, voice coming out in a whisper, voice cracking in the end. 

"(y/n), I know that what I did and said was wrong. I let my pride get in the way between us; I let my sadness eat me away." His hands were shaking now, a bit sweaty too. He sniffed, "You saw the messed up parts of me and stayed. But I was a jerk, a big asshole, for pushing you away. It was selfish of me... I... I didn't see that my in-actions would cause us to fall apart."

To your surprise, he pulled you in, burying his face near the crook of your neck. You could feel something wet seep into your shirt. "My biggest mistake was thinking I could live without you."

"But... I can see you're doing well now without me. Because you only waited this long to try and reach me? Why now when you could've done it before?" 

Oikawa hugs you tighter, shaking his head. "I just don't want to lose you; not again, not anymore. I love you (y/n), I never did stop."

Soon, he pulls away, eyes searching yours. You look up at him, and he wipes the tears from your face. "Can I be selfish one last time? Please give me another chance—I'll make it up to you."

You all but gently removed his touch from yours, and suddenly the air around you grew cold. 

"Tooru, I... I love you, I miss you, I forgive you. It was nice meeting you but... I don't think I'm ready to open my heart for you again. Maybe not now. Maybe not ever. Because I've made up my mind long ago to love you from afar."

You smiled softly and used the back of your hand to wipe his tears. Then, you stood on your tiptoes and placed a peck to his nose before turning away. 

Oikawa could only watch in silence at your retreating figure, wondering if this was the best thing for one or both of you. Everything now was even more unsure for him; except for the fact that a new-found determination sprang in his chest. 

Oikawa Tooru was going to win your heart back, no matter what it takes.

[rigdicklucas]

Wonder Woman(2017) Spoiler Review

Zack Snyder’s latest foray into ruining the superhero genre had the potential to be something special but throws it all away for no reason at all.

By D. Lucas.

Let me tell you right away that this is not a movie you should be spending time on, let alone drive up to a theater for. It’s one of those rare occasions where the ingredients for a great film are all in there but it gets ruined by a terrible, terrible director, Zack Snyder—as if this surprises anyone anymore. If there’s a silver-lining to this CGI slugfest it’s the sliver of hope from the story by Patty Jenkins but it tries hard with little success, which is ironic since she had directed a film (2003′s Monster that won Charlize Theron her Oscar) and some interesting TV episodes. It would’ve been quite interesting to see had Warner Bros. allowed her to have a go at it. But, alas, we’re stuck with the Snyder and let’s just get this out of the way as fast as possible and get ready for that fun-superhero film coming this July. wink, wink.

There, if the director is not enough reason to skip this movie, which given his track-record shouldn’t be all that hard, then go ahead and read why the director is reason enough to skip it.

The movie begins with Diana (Gal Gadot) receiving a package in a truck with the Wayne Enterprises logo on it. Inside it is the actual photograph that we saw in Batman v Superman (Note how Zack made it so that even Wonder Woman needs a man’s help to get this photograph that is important to her). It is used to transition back to when Diana was a little girl on her paradise island, Themyscira, and how she grew up being denied training by her queen mother, Hippolyta, but was secretly trained by her general aunt, Antiope. For some stupid reason all this is intercut with a history-lesson about how Zeus made mankind and Ares corrupted them as the God of War and how Zeus again made Amazons to compensate for it which made Ares go mad and kill all the other gods. Luckily he was defeated by Zeus at the cost of his own life but not before making an ultimate sword called the Godkiller.

Gal Gadot Warner Bros.

The queen finds out about the secret training-sessions and seems upset at first but then pivots a full 180-degree and asks her sister to train Diana harder than any Amazon before. I mean, seriously? Whatever happened to sticking to established character traits? Only in a Zack Snyder film can this happen. I’m willing to bet Patty’s story had a long interlude in between but Zack decided he couldn’t wait to get to the messy fight sequences. And sure enough we get to Gal Gadot in the very next scene where she battles a couple of Amazons and then her aunt while her mother looks down from atop a hill on horseback. And sure enough it ends with a random shock-wave out of her bracelets—which we are to assume have grown along with her since the child Diana also had smaller ones on. Then Diana feels guilty for hurting her aunt and runs away only to find the crashing plane of Steve Trevor(Chris Pine).

She, of course, rescues him and a band of men breach into Themyscira who were in pursuit of Steve. The battle scene that Zack had been itching to get to is here and it plays out much like his oft-criticized sludge of slow motion and the-oh-so-important manner of shooting them. There’s a self-indulgent shot of the general Antiope grinning like a maniac as she marches into battle which could only be found in a Zack Snyder movie (another bet that Patty’s story didn’t include this).

The battle costs Antiope her life and the Amazons instead of impaling Steve right there like the warring faction that they are decide to interrogate him using some heated rope that makes you tell the truth. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the way Diana announces it as if it isn’t the most ridiculous thing ever.

Then follows the forced humor™ with Steve and Diana about man-parts and watches when out of the blue Diana just decides to betray her entire sisterhood and leave with this man who she’d known for less than a day. The feminist-front this film had been marketed on makes this move so very ironic I can’t believe Zack believed he could win over feminists like me with this. Humor™ in any superhero film not made by Marvel can only be reactionary and a cash grab.

Gal Gadot and Chris Pine Warner Bros.

And so we return to London with all of Zack Snyder’s favorite dark and drab aesthetic. You could just feel the relief he must have felt at this point! I’m surprised he didn’t cut the “It’s hideos” line by Gal which is clearly just another attempt at the Marvel-only humor™—honestly there are so many instances of such attempts that just fall flat on their face that it’s unintentionally hilarious.

The villain is obviously going to be the God of War that was weakened by Zeus in his climactic battle but his identity is supposed to be a secret. Anyone with any rational thinking capacity can figure out that it’s the dude that talks about peace at a meeting of generals! The gall of Zack Snyder is thinking it’s a well-kept secret by shamelessly inserting a red-herring in the German general Ludendorff. It is so blatant in its execution that his lackey poison-cook makes these pills for him, saying, “For you. To restore your strength.” As if we didn’t know he wasn’t a red-herring! Zack’s potential to keep assuming his audience as a pack of dumb sheep never ceases to amuse me.

Danny Huston Warner Bros.

Once Steve gathers his band of misfits and smuggles them to Belgium along with Diana, while sitting around a fire, there are some throwaway scenes masquerading as character moments that just toss out themes about the futility of war, a soldier’s PTSD, etc., which all deserve to be further expanded upon but this being a Snyder feature are left hanging like the hooked carcasses at a slaughterhouse.

Before long, Zack’s itch for another battle sequence becomes unbearable and we have our next action set piece. There’s nothing inventive or creative about this, just ticking off a list of cool-shot after cool-shot with the same tried-and-tired slow motion that even Zack should have gotten sick of by now. The most hypocritical thing about Wonder Woman here is just how easy she finds it to kill the innocent German soldiers under the influence of Ares and even finds it appropriate to dance with Steve to celebrate it later that evening. My third bet is that Patty’s story didn’t have all this killing and instead had Wonder Woman gently put out these soldiers because she truly believes only love can save the world. But Zack had to muddy it up with his 300-style brutality.

There’s an idiotic scene where one of Steve’s band just randomly find an automobile parked around which they then use to get Steve into a German party where Ludendorff will be. This is without an invitation, mind you. The damned proto-Nazis are that easy to fool in Zack’s dark and gritty universe and that brings us to when Ludendorff deploys the new gas weapon over the little town that Diana just saved by killing two dozen soldiers. It just has to be that dark, thank you very much. Unfortunately the ending only further devolved into what’s now Zack’s characteristic bad-CGI overload.

The plot-twist, like I already mentioned, comes unsurprisingly and is followed by the same bad-guy-vision-for-the-future that Zack used in Man of Steel except here Ares(David Thewlis) is a stand-in for General Zod. It is funny how this battle seems to be a polar opposite of the final battle in Man of Steel:

- Zod rips off his armor while Ares puts on one.

- Zod shows a future built over the dead remains of humanity while Ares shows … a future built on the dead remains of humanity.

- Zod is the more experienced one over Superman while … Ares is the more experienced one over Wonder Woman.

Okay, Ares is just Zod for Wonder Woman.

The sequences feel rather recycled if anyone’s seen Zack’s previous films but he expects us to oversee that because it’s a female superhero. Sorry, Zack, we’re not that stupid! When Steve Trevor sacrifices himself by flying the bio-weapon payload into the sky and shooting it, Diana gains new powers as she mourns him and simultaneously skates, mortally hurls around German soldiers, pummels Ares, and lifts a tank to crush the poison-cook, Dr. Maru, but reconsiders Maru for sequels and also because she just suffered a short-term memory loss by forgetting what Steve had told her before catching the plane. This seems to be a one-time thing though because the film doesn’t turn into Memento, or anything. She also remembers what Steve says about men not deserving to be protected but still should be, maybe and tells exactly that to Ares before she skates up to him and kills him using his own lightning bolt, so technically not murder (unlike MoS where Superman should’ve used Zod’s own hands to snap his neck like a true hero and technically not murder him. He could’ve stood up and smiled at that family he’d saved like Diana looks at the soldiers).

Wonder Woman is basically Zack’s go at making the same kind of film he always does but shrouded in the veil of Marvel humor™ and a good, straight story (thanks to Patty). But at the end of the day, Wonder Woman still can’t save itself from Zack Snyder.

Why pose big questions like why did Wonder Woman walk away from mankind when no one wants to give the answer anyway?

Bonus critiques:

-Zack’s sexual-predatory, exploitative lens makes a comeback in this shot:

-Just the general idea of scantily clad beautiful women (Amazons) being objectified at the beginning of the film and thinking it empowers them à la Sucker Punch, which suffered the additional burden of being written by Zack Snyder!