#insane who does that i mean alcoholics probably but jesus christ

[dcfontaines]

got. insanely drunk with my parents last night

[abandonedaccount1234]

MY THOUGHTS ON EPISODE 7X08

First off: RIP RICO PRIEM. There needs to be better safety precautions and LAWS put into place, not just contract negotiations, to ensure the safety of all cast and especially crew. No one should have to die to see our favorite show get made. We can week a few weeks/months between episodes if that is what it will take. Our little weewoo show is not more important than people getting home safe.

-honestly, tell him how it is Amir. Bobby affected more lives than just the 148 he took. As much as I love his growth and how he’s healed, the trauma extends past his victims into generational trauma that will probably be felt for several generations.

-it’s so emotionally jarring sometimes to see fun loving bobby who’s worked hard to piece his life back together. and then also remember, he’s the cause of 148 lives being taken. like....how does the man have a job? he would not experience the same treatment of the freedom he’s been allowed post apartment fire if he was a man of color.

-i love how the characters are flawed and not perfect people.

-MAY GRANT where you been my baby

-Athena/Bobby goals 🥰

-so bobby comes from a long line of abusive alcoholics and has been a people pleasing emotional therapist for most of his life, good to know. good. to. know.

-i haven’t personally been too fond of the whole amir’s gonna burn the building down because it kind of plays into stereotypes of black men being violent and unable to work through their emotions in a healthy way.

-i do think race aside, it’s a possibility but after tonight’s episode, it’s not something i wanna be dead set on or right about because fighting fire with fire is not good for anyone involved, no matter how much gut wrenching pain they’ve caused you.

-i mean the cartel is a storyline they haven’t touched on before. i wonder what’s next? bridge collapse? plague outbreak? eddie being demisexual?

-side note: that guy’s flowing long hair is actually so pretty

-his mother should have stepped in more

“you can keep your amends, i didn’t ask for it. it doesn’t mean a damn thing to me.”-oh damn damn DAMN they got me crying on bridgerton day AGAIN

-oh please don’t tell me bobby learned how to cook out of trauma of almost burning his house down because he had to take on the role of his mother after she left his alcoholic father

-Bobby Nash? Nah. Bobby BURNT.

-Get up Amir! Don’t die! You’ve come too far! (in the wise words of my father: a black man can’t ever catch a break, can he?)

-is he actually a ranch worker? don’t trust a man with a truck you don’t know kids. DONT DRINK THE WATER. ITS GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT.

-of course the guy with the car WAS HIS GRANDSON

-did i not just tell you to not take candy from a strange man you just men in the middle of nowhere?

-BOBBY NASH DOES HIS OWN STUNTS

-ommercial break mantra to calm myself: athena will always find you, don’t worry. do what you gotta do to survive guys.

-back to bobby/amir: i think it’s important for bobby to meet someone who can’t forgive him for what he’s done, who no matter how much he’s grown, will never be able to see him apart from the trauma and pain he inflicted. it’s more realistic.

-Who Can It Be Now? Song by Men at Work

-Bobby’s dad dies in an alcoholic accident after he verbally assaulted him for being a kid who was left on his own to figure things out is INSANE TIM MINEAR SHIT.

-i don’t think he’s alive anymore bro...

-is bobby can drop to his knees and pray or something?

-welp he dropped to his knees

-poor little bobby

-NOT HIM BLEEDING ALL OVER THE SCRAPBOOK WHAT IN THE WORSE THAN EVAN BUCKLEY TRAUMA IS THIS SHIT WTF THAT’S UNCALLED FOR NO WONDER HE BECAME AN ALCOHOLIC JESUS CHRIST

-stay alive by matt alder

-I hope Amir sticks around. I like him. He keeps things emotionally interesting. I needed a good cry.

-commercial break thoughts: where tf is charlie now? i didn’t realize how much older he was supposed to be

-BIG PROPS to the makeup team

-i like this new girl, hope we see her again. her hair is flawless.

-acting pro peter krause

-“i live my life just trying not to make anything worse”

-michael jamal warner. incredible work tonight my man.

-what in the offbrand huge hulk loke tommy/buck/eddie are those firefighter dudes

-DONT DO IT LITTLE BOBBY YOU ARE A CHILD WHY DID THEY LEAVE HIM ALONE

-I WAS RIGHT THEY TRY TO BURN BOBBY’S HOUSE DOWN WTF I WAS RIGHT I BET ITS THE DAMN CARTEL

[khodorkovskaya]

08.02.23

holy shit you guys, i went to see a medium today and it was insane.

everyone had to sit around in a circle and he would place his hands on the shoulders of every person for five seconds. and then you had a minute long one on one chat with him. here is what he told me:

im hypersensitive. i mean duhh obviously, we been knew. that is my biggest obstacle in life and always has been.

my hyperhidrosis comes from the fact that my liver is too hot. which is interesting bc i never thought about it this way but it makes sense that my liver doesn't function like a regular person's. because i have trouble digesting alcohol and sugar. and that's what the liver does, right? and combined with the fact that im always sweaty and overheating it makes even more sense. he also said that having a hot liver is linked to me being hypersensitive. which idk what he meant by that but why not.

i have scoliosis. which is probably true idk. my body is not super symmetrical and im tall so i know im probably gonna end up with back problems when im older. but compared to my peers who complain about backpain 24/7, i can't relate. my back never hurts and i have quite good posture. so idk about scoliosis. but it wouldn't surprise me bc i remember in kindergarten the nurse told my father that i might have scoliosis and he cussed her out and said that she was stupid and that she made it up. but hey, maybe if he had actually listened to the nurse and taken me to the doctor, i could've known sooner.

i need to take vermifuge ????? like wtf. do i have tapeworms??????

anyway, yeah, it was crazy. he also said i have anxiety and self esteem issues.

but like... im not over the tapeworms thing. if it's true im gonna kms. it sounds terrifying. and my stepdad keeps laughing at me! he's been schadenfreude-ing about it the whole day today! like "ohhh you're gonna have to poop in a jar and a doctor is gonna stick his hand up your butt to pull the worms out". like jesus christ... i wanted to see a medium to ask him for help with my drivers test. and what did i get instead?? "you have tapeworms and scoliosis". fml!

anyway, today i had my last exam of the semester and it was horrible. i have a cold and a fever and it was just not a vibe. i think im gonna complain to the student union because this class was just a joke and it's unfair how the professor can do whatever he pleases.

this night i had a dream about sarajevo and B. and you know, i wish the medium could've pointed that out and helped me get over B. but nooo. fucking tapeworms!

[giselle-archive]

Maybe it was Santana's poor wording the other day, or her own conversations with other people that left her reflecting on (and judging) her own behavior as of late, but Giselle had accepted now that she'd been exhibiting a bit of a victim mentality. Not intentionally, but it seemed as though Santana did more apologizing and took responsibility for majority of their fights when most of them were her own fault, and here she was doing it yet again. Sighing as she tapped her fingernails on the tabletop, she willed herself not to try and slip back into her habit of closing off at the mere thought of having to be the bigger person for once. "You can't always take responsibility for every single thing that goes wrong with us, San." Her voice was much lower this time, and she groaned right after the words came out of her mouth. Three years of not having to do this emotional stuff had been bliss, and now ripping off that bandaid hurt ten times worse than she'd expected it to. "You've told me how you feel more times than I can count since I've been back, and I'm the one who didn't want to hear it, so it wasn't on you. You handled that exactly how we needed you to. If it wasn't for that, I'd probably still be running away from you and all of this sappy shit, which is exhausting. I should be thanking you, really." The more she actually opened her mouth and said something vulnerable, the more she could feel something stirring in the pit of her stomach, and she would blame the queasy feeling washing over her on the fact that Santana had gotten her on a boat if not for the fact that she vividly recalled feeling like this back in high school. As if she wasn't down bad enough, leave it to her to start swooning over her ex already.

Giselle had probably devoured an insane amount of alcohol over the duration of the week, but as the champagne was being poured into their glasses, she knew she was in desperate need of it to settle her nerves. Who knew bearing one's soul could cause so much trepidation? Luckily the reception to her blurting out honesty was better this time around, and she rolled her eyes playfully as Santana settled on making a toast now but raised her glass anyways. And just before she could take a sip, Santana said something in Spanish and while part of her brain did translate most of it, the other half short circuited for a moment as a slight chill ran down her spine. "Jesus Christ." She whined in response before she chugged all of the contents of her glass, and then put the now empty glass back down. Her eyes darted down swiftly as her ex took her hold of her hand, and she'd be lying if she said it didn't feel like home. Giselle smiled as she took in Santana's words, or oath was more like it, and she didn't hesitate before nodding in agreement. "We're gonna need a lot of work, and God himself will probably have to intervene a few times but yeah, I think we can." She teased before squeezing her..ex's? hand gently. "Wait, does this mean we're officially back together now? I know I'm the one who suggested taking all of this slow, but...slow was never our thing anyways, and at this point, the only way we're going to keep anyone else out of this is if we just dive right back in, right?" She rambled before taking a moment to pause. "Sorry..we don't have to label this now, if that's too much pressure, but I'm pretty sure every third party to this train wreck assumes we're back together anyways, or is waiting for us to just fuck and make up so they're all clear where we both stand, so it kinda makes sense to.."

As per her morning ritual, Santana's day started with a five mile run through the quiet streets of Mexico. Most people were either still asleep or just turning in after a rowdy night of drinking, so it made for the perfect time to collect her thoughts. The fact this was their last day in Cancun filled her with both relief and remorse. Despite how relaxing this vacation had been, she couldn't shake the feeling that she'd squandered this opportunity to mend her relationship with Giselle. Instead, the two of them had spent most of the week avoiding each other, all while turning to alcohol for comfort. It'd made their living situation unbearable, to the point that Santana was ready to wipe this memory from existence. For two people who loved each other as much as they did, they sure had a fucked up way of showing it sometimes. She'd decided on her return to their hut that she would apologize for her behavior and find a way to make up for it. Fortunately for Santana, her ex seemed to struggle just as badly as she did at staying mad at each other, and agreed to them spending the day together without much hassle. It also wasn't lost on her the way Giselle's eyes trailed over her body, her sun-kissed skin still glistening with sweat after her run through the city. No doubt that factored heavily into her decision, the Latina thought.

Given that these were their last few hours in Mexico, Santana wanted to make it as authentic of an experience as possible. That, of course, meant speaking Spanish for the majority of it, much to the chagrin of her ex. By the time they made it onto the boat, she was sure Giselle had grown tired of her antics, even if a part of her secretly loved it. She ordered a bottle of champagne once the waiter handed them their menus, and was debating between hors d'oeuvres when the other woman decided to speak up. At her admission, Santana's face fell a bit as she folded up the menu and placed it back down on the table. Poor communication had always been their biggest issue. When they were together, Santana felt secure in their relationship. It was only when they were arguing or ignoring each other that she started to get in her head about things. She could make a mountain out of a molehill without Giselle there to talk her down, and it resulted in reactions like the other day occurring. "I should've worded that entire conversation more delicately, I'm sorry. Those were insecurities I've had for a while, and I guess it all boiled over at once. If I'd stopped being stubborn and came to you about how I was feeling sooner, we probably could've resolved most of this shit by now." Santana knew she wasn't entirely to blame, but she would take responsibility for it anyway. She had no problem shallowing her pride if it meant they could stop fighting and put all of this behind them.

She half-expected her to be done there, as their waiter returned with a bottle of champagne and a bucket of ice. Santana poured each of them a glass, ready to listen to whatever her ex had to dish out, only that her response caught her off guard. As she watched Giselle's walls finally start to come down and let her in, the Latina leaned slowly back in her chair. It turned out she'd been right about her pushing her away. Santana could've told anyone weeks ago that Giselle was terrified of jumping back into a relationship. After how things ended between them, she'd be crazy not to have her reservations. What she hadn't been prepared for though was the emotional distancing and lack of affection. She'd never known her ex to be that way towards her, so it made sense that she'd question how much she really wanted to be with her. Taking a few more moments after she'd finished to process everything, Santana raised her glass in a toast as a small smile graced her lips. She thought briefly about pouring her heart out like she'd done countless times before, but opted for something more lighthearted instead. "Here's to...fixing our issues one day at a time," she proclaimed, before taking a sip of her champagne. "El  amor verdadero  siempre merece la espera." She set her glass down and reached her hand across the table to lace her fingers with Giselle's, rubbing a soothing thumb over her palm as she spoke. "I know we've had our ups and downs, and I haven't always been there for you when you've needed me to, but I don't want that to hold us back from giving this relationship another shot. You've always been the most important person to me, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this work as long as you promise to always be honest with me. You think we could manage that?"

[scorevechkin]

For the prompt thing, 5 with bradray!

Tumblr prompt 5 with bradray “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” 

Ray doesn’t normally think of himself as a jealous person, he’s not somebody who gets worked up if someone flirts with his partner. Normally, that is.

He’s not a jealous person, he’s not. 

Except — except he is, right now. Specifically because some leggy redhead is purposefully pressing her tits against Brad’s arm like it’ll somehow get him to notice her or something. Ray’s seen photos of Brad’s ex (he’s snooped in Brad’s old room when they’d visited his parents) and this woman looks enough like her that it makes Ray seethe. 

They were only at the bar because it was both date night and there was a football game on. What better way to have a low-key date night than chilling at the bar, drinking shitty cheap beer and eating overpriced shitty appetizers? Well, it would be better if Brad didn’t have a woman hanging off his arm, Ray thinks. 

Brad obviously isn’t interested, Ray knows that, but it doesn’t stop the ugly jealousy from sitting in his chest and fanning up into his cheeks, already flushed pink from alcohol. Ray regrets sending Brad up to get the jalapeño poppers because that means he has to wait at the bar to get the bartender's attention, which means he has to wait longer while Lisa’s lookalike paws at Brad’s arm as they make polite conversation. Or, that’s at least what Ray’s hoping is happening. 

Ray knows he shouldn’t be jealous except the longer he stews there alone, the combination of alcohol and whatever seems to eat up at what little self-confidence he has when it comes to his relationship with Brad, which sucks. Brad’s a tall, gorgeous, tan, viking beef slab of a man with a proportionate cock and he’s dating Ray, Ray who’s 5’9” on a good day, who has barely managed to put back on any of the weight he lost during OIF and who still has slight facial scars from Rudy’s shitty espresso pot. His beer tastes terrible now and his stomach churns uncomfortably, seething and just sitting there looking like a fucking idiot. A jealous idiot. He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly so insecure, because trusts Brad, of course, but Brad is (was?) straight. Maybe there were some wires crossed between OEF and OIF, maybe some fucked up head injury that made Brad think Ray was the bees knees or some shit. 

It sucks, that’s all Ray knows. 

Plus, he can’t even fucking do anything. DADT is still a real thing and as far as the world is concerned, Ray is just Brad’s roommate. Not his boyfriend, just an old Marine buddy who visited and ended up not leaving. 

He’s so consumed with his thoughts that Brad manages to sneak back up on him, jumping slightly when one big hand grabs at his shoulder. “Ray, what’s wrong with you?” Brad asks, dropping back into his seat and it’s then Ray realizes that Brad brought back another bottle of beer only for himself. 

Ray doesn’t pout, he doesn’t. “Nothing is wrong, homes, I’m just sitting here.” 

Brad’s eyes furrow and his voice pitches up a bit the way it does whenever he’s about to get defensive. “What the fuck is your problem?” The words only serve to rile Ray up more. “Nothing is my fucking problem! Why do you think I have a problem? You know who I’m sure doesn’t have a problem? The redhead shoving her tits in your face.” 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Brad asks at the same time as Ray immediately says “Jesus Christ, forget it.” 

That seems to break the dam and Ray gesticulates wildly, knowing he probably looks insane as he waves an arm towards the bar. “The fucking tits, Brad!” he hisses out, like he’s trying to whisper but obviously failing at it. “The tits?” Brad asks, looking more and more confused and annoyed at Ray, choosing to give an exasperated sigh as he takes a long drink from the bottle. Ray’s annoyed at how fucking dense Brad is being, because! Because, it’s clear Brad liked the attention! And the fact that she looks like his ex, the one he so forlornly talked about in Iraq like he was still in love with her. 

Ray knows he’s being irrational at this point but it’s like he can’t stop himself from becoming frustrated, and maybe it’s because there’s a 6 year difference between Brad and himself. Brad got engaged once and Ray is freshly twenty-three and this is his first long relationship. 

“Wait a minute, are you jealous?” Brad asks abruptly, there’s amusement in his tone that only serves to piss Ray off more. Because, fucking yes, he’s jealous, but also fuck Brad for making fun of him. “No.” Ray spits out, pointedly looking away from Brad, who only continues to stare at him. He can feel Brad boring fucking holes into his head so he finally looks back, “Okay fine, yes I’m fucking jealous, are you happy?” 

Brad gives a shrug, “Maybe. I’m just,” there’s a hint of a smile, “I’m surprised, usually I’m the one who feels jealous.” 

Ray almost spits out his beer, almost. “I’m sorry, you? When? Why? What the fuck, Brad.” “Ray, in case you hadn’t realized, due to your predilection to be half fucking naked at any point at home, you’ve gained a few admirers.” Brad frowns and picks at the paper label on his beer bottle before giving up and chugging the last of it. “Plus, it’s hard not to notice how some of your classmates stare at you when you decide to annoy the shit out of me by inviting them over.” “They stare at me because they’re intimidated by my superior intellect.” “Maybe they stare because you decided you were going to wear your silkies,” Brad stares at him and Ray recognizes that sort of hungry look he has, mixed with a fond annoyance. Neither of them says anything for a long moment and Ray chances a glance back at the bar and the redhead is still there, glancing back at their table to try and get Brad’s attention. Ray huffs, finally finishing off his beer, which is lukewarm at this point, making a face as he slams the bottle down. “Do you— okay, firstly, what the fuck Brad, how the fuck did I not notice? Next time just  literally hit me over the head like a caveman and drag me off to ravish me, homes, I give you fucking permission. Secondly, you’re it for me homes, like,” he leans into the table a bit more like it’s a secret he’s telling Brad, knowing full well the noise of the bar is easily going to drown out their conversation, “your fucking horse cock has factually ruined me for anyone else.” The lingering jealousy is still there but it’s easy to put it on the back burner as Brad stands up from his chair, leaning in close in the guise of needing to tell Ray something privately. “I’m going to get our jalapeño poppers to go and pay our tab, then we’re going to go back home — and I can show you what exactly I wanted to do to you while you were parading your skinny ass around in your PT shorts.” 

Ray’s body flares up in heat and he nods dumbly as Brad reaches down to squeeze at his waist before he’s moving away back towards the bar. He watches as the redhead tries to cozy up to Brad again, a triumphant sort of giddiness as Brad puts a hand up to, at least what Ray assumes, turn her down again.  Brad looks back towards Ray as the redhead stands up from the bar and leaves, giving him a wink as he takes the to go box from the bartender. Big gay Brad, Ray thinks as he shakes his head fondly and makes sure they have everything before they leave. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #302

“heaven ain’t close in a place like this”

What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. What's your favorite type of milk? If we're talking the basics, ig 1% is fine. What would you change about your appearance if you could? Oh, hunny, you got time for an essay? What would you change about your bedroom if you could? I need to fucking finish decorating it... It's not finished by no fault but my own laziness. Are you rich or poor? We're definitely pretty poor. Are you double jointed? I don't think so. What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? I once had a large infected cyst that had to be drained by applying pressure to it, and I swear to Christ I don't know how I didn't faint. They gave me morphine and multiple numbing shots, but none of that did SHIT. I'm not even embarrassed by the fact I was shrieking and sobbing and swearing because I'm pretty fucking sure any sane person would've cried out many times. I'm convinced they either didn't numb me enough for someone of my size back then, or I should've just gone under for it. I have no words for how painful it really was. Do you like shots? Uh, given that nobody LIKES getting a shot with a needle, I'm going to assume you mean like, taking shots of alcohol, in which case I've never tried, but I can almost absolutely guarantee you I'd hate them. I hate the taste of alcohol (hence why I only drink sweet and weak stuff), sooooo, I've got my doubts I'd enjoy something so potent. Are you afraid of spiders? Yes and no? Small ones don't tend to get to me, and I LOVE tarantulas. Big spiders are absolutely fascinating and I love *watching* them, but if I was surprised by a sudden spider, I'm going to probably cry out and jump/scramble away. But on a real note, respect your spiders, whether they scare you or not. They are so important to the ecosystem. See one in the house, take it outside if you can. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to something? To some earrings, yes. I have to wear ones that don't have silver in them. Do you like to read? Yeah, but not nearly as much as I did as a kid. I'm even slacking on WoF lately... Do you know what your purpose in life is? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* BITCH I WISH I KNEW What's something you would like to improve at? Not being a socially anxious catastrophe. Do you believe you have great potential? Everybody does. You just have to use it. What is the most beautiful scenery you have ever beheld? Probably the mountains when driving to Tennessee. Or New York? I really can't recall either so clearly as to have a favorite. Are you flexible? Noooot anymore. Back in my WiiFit days, I was a gotdamn snake. List a song lyric that you like. Oh Jesus, don't make me think. Uhhhhh there's so many. Flipping through artists in my head with lyrics I tend to love, there's Otep with: "hey, hey, NRA, how many kids did you kill today?". Simple, but spine-chilling to me. Huh, time to listen to it actually, lol. That song murders me with the goosebumps. Do you meditate? No; I can't. You can't tell me to "free my mind," man. It's way too hectic at all times up there. What's one place you've been to that you want to visit again? I'd love to go back to Chicago one night when I actually learn how to do nighttime urban photography. What's one place you want to go that you've never visited before? I always answer "South Africa" to questions like this, so for variety's sake, I'll say the Bahamas. But a conspiratory bitch is afraid of the Bermuda Triangle, so... lmao. What's your favorite type of tree? I like big, impressive weeping willows. How many times have you seriously injured yourself? Only two occasions I can think of immediately. Maybe there's more, but idk. Did you attend Sunday School as a child? Yeah, even though I hated it. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Maybe a little passed the small of my back? What about the shortest? (not including being a toddler or baby): How it is now and has been for a couple years: shaved short on the left side, and it transitions to a length near my chin as you go to the right. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I did, and I played the flute. I'd choose the saxophone if I could go back. Who does the grocery shopping in your household? Well, it's just Mom and me, so her. If you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to? One that focuses on ovarian cancer for Mom. What is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? Even though I was never great at it or knew every single rule, "Magic: The Gathering" is honestly really fun, and I loved looking at the card art. I haven't played it since I was with Jason, so at least five-six years. Would you consider yourself to be good at spelling and grammar? Yeah, but I've somehow gotten worse with time???? I question the spelling and tenses of words I write a lot. What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times): Probably like, chocolate rabbits. NOT hollow. Way to break my heart. Or gingerbread cookies. What was the last chocolate bar you ate? I think a Hershey's? It was a while ago. Who was the last person you talked to on Skype/video chat? I was in a Zoom session with multiple people for my partial hospitalization program. Have you ever dreamt about sleeping with someone other than your partner? If so, did that make you feel embarrassed? I've never had a dream like this while in a relationship. The last time you had butterflies in your stomach, what was the reason? I have no idea. Has anyone told you that they miss you recently? No. Has anyone ever asked you out or told you that they liked you, and you rejected them? Can you explain why you didn’t like, or didn’t feel attracted to that person? There was this one guy in the 4th grade who asked me if I would go out with him so much it almost became like a joke. I just... didn't like him like that. Then there's Juan; I'd just been warned that he had a bad rep by a very reliable adult, and the idea of dating him was kinda... intimidating anyway. Plus he was a smoker, which was and still is a no-no for me. What part in a movie would you love to play? The clinically insane villain or something because I feel with my history, I could channel that very well IF I actually wanted to act in the first place. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba walks up Pride Rock in the rain and roars and all the lionesses join in. Chilling. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Candy corn is repulsive. What was the highlight of your day? My mom was raving to one of my therapists in the PHP about my art and how badly she wants me to just get everything out there. I was smiling really big but looking down with how shy but also flattered it made me. Do you know anyone who is anorexic? I don't think so. Who has hurt you the most this year? Ha, myself. What's the last insult someone said to you? Hm. How much did your car cost? N/A What is the last picture you received on your phone of? Uhhh Mom mighta sent me a meme or Sara showed me a drawing someone made of Suriza, I think. Have you ever let someone go because you thought they deserved better? No, though I've felt that way before. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now? I'm still not over the fact Dad was a druggie before me and my sisters, apparently. It's almost like... hurtful in some weird way? Idk exactly why, it's just something I know I feel. What do you hear right now? I have Motionless In White's cover of "Somebody Told Me" playing in another tab. Do you do anything to help the environment? I do what I can as someone who isn't financially independent and reliant on another person for transportation. I won't litter for anything (and this includes shit like letting balloons go in the air, fucking stop), I'm trying to use my metal straw always in place of plastic, and to use less plastic bags, I try to spread out the times I clean Roman's litterbox to a few days; not to the point it's disgusting or uncomfortable for him, of course, though. Three days without is pretty much max. When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Ha, a little while ago... I was trying to avoid eating the two last biscuits Mom made for dinner 'cuz I really gotta lay off the carbs, but Mom "joked" that "it's your birthday, you get to do whatever you want," so I kinda just said fuck it lmao. Do you think that you have a pretty smile? No, because my eyes squint badly, and I also hate my teeth. When's the last time you cried over a guy? A few days ago a little bit, actually. I was reminiscing too much and recalling some of the warmest memories. Are you scared to lose the person you fell the hardest for? I already did. Oh well. Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now? Yep. Do you have any friends that actually model? No. Do you care about the last person you kissed? A fucking lot. Do they care about you? Yes. Is there someone you wish you were with right now? Yes, just because of past birthday memories. I keep hoping a "happy birthday Britt" pops up in my FB messenger, and I hate myself for it. Have you ever imagined how it would feel kissing a certain someone? I legitimately just huffed in humor, guess, lmao. What are the bad things you've heard people say about you? That I'm a martyr, going nowhere, lazy, not trying hard enough, y'know, all that good stuff. Do you flirt a lot? Definitely not. What phrase or saying do you use the most? Probably "oof" lol. What mood are you in right now? I'm doing pretty all right. Kinda dreading Miss Tobey coming over, mean as it is, but I just... don't wanna deal with her and her judgments on my birthday. But I'm looking forward to seeing my sisters, and therapy went very well. Have you ever kissed someone that was high? No. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Yep. How many exes do you have? I only consider two exes "serious," as I've only been in two deep and long-term relationships, but if we're counting everyone who's had the label of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," there's six. Do you want to be single or with someone? Ugh, I don't know. It's probably better I don't 'til I figure my shit out, but I really do miss the companionship a lot. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I love her and I was leaving her at the airport. Does your mom think you’re a virgin? She doesn't know for the same reason I don't, really. I think she leans towards I am, but idk. Is there someone that wants you to give them a second chance? I don't know. What size bra do you wear? Uhhh I genuinely don't buy bras enough to know this exactly. C-something. Does the person you last kissed still like you? I don't know if she still like-likes me. Are your parents still together? Noooo. Was your first time good or bad? I dated an Italian, if u kno what I mean. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Which friend-turned-enemy do you miss the most? Colleen, sometimes. Have you ever used an epi pen, and it worked? I have not. What is on your top priority list for today? Make this fuckin' day for me. I'm trying to not let the depression sink in and make me feel worthless on today of all days. So I'm trying to stay in a positive headspace. Do you own any sand art in a jar? Omg, those are so cool! But no. Does the sun come in your window in the morning or at night? Not really; there's houses in the way. What was the last piece of art you created? A drawing of a meerkat with its mouth open angrily, done with colored pencils, against a black background. It's on my second dA. What time of day do you take medications? I have prescription meds for when I wake up and at bedtime. What's your newest hobby you've started? A new hobby? Huh... What are some things you wanted to do that your parents didn't let you do? They wouldn't let us stay home alone until a certain age, we had a timer on the TV at bedtime to shut off after a while, we weren't exposed to certain music or shows, no cursing... stuff like that. What YouTube channels do you recommend? This is a BAD question to ask me, 'cuz I could just about recommend channels for just about any niche. I watch soooooo many. What is your favorite day of the week? Tuesday, because it's reset day in WoW, haha. Meaning, I get to do my stupid mount farming raids again for the week. Blackhand, gimme your FUCKING clefthoof already. Ballet or cheerleading? Ballet is beautiful. What are your favorite sports to watch? Only dancing, really. Were you ever in the marching band? No. Which holiday has the best decorations, in your opinion? My contrasting aesthetics make this hard, haha. I love Christmas with all the beautiful light displays people can make, but let's not sleep on Halloween, y'all. I loooove Halloween decor, like c'mon, that's where I get shit for my room year-round, lmao. What do you want to be known for? It'd actually be kinda cool if I built up some sort of rep in the vulture culture community with my photography of roadkill. For how few shots I actually have on there and minimal interaction, my Instagram for it is doing quite well, if you consider those factors. They've gotten some pretty decent attention on dA, too. I would love for people to know why I do it though, of course: awareness and respect for the animal's life. How often do you wear make-up? Almost never nowadays. Think of the person you are jealous of...what are you jealous of them for? She's actually making a career out of her photography. Do you have art that you made in high school? Oh, plenty. Do you have trauma in your past? *clears throat* take a fuckin seat Favorite type of frosting? Chocolate. Have you ever tried cake decorating? No. One of my sisters is actually one, though! She's great at it. What clubs are you a part of? None. What was your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. 6th grade, to be exact. Do you like to read classics, or do you usually read new arrivals? I don't prefer one over the other, honestly. Were you a big partier in college? No, I never partied. Is your college one you would recommend? My most recent one, fuck yes. They're amazing and care so deeply for their students. Would you go camping in the woods alone? Yikes, no. Would you name your kids after anyone? If I had a son and I had my way with the name, he would be named after the Most Selfless Man in the World, Damien from WKM. :'''''( Do you have any supernatural gifts? No. Are there any good churches in your town? You're asking someone who has a bad relationship with religion. Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? It really depends on the season and venue my spouse and I pick. Do you think you would be a good salesperson? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NAW fam. I ain't pressuring people to buy shit.

[mactuna]

ђคгɭєץ ợยєєภ

↠ summary: jisol isn’t the only who got run over by the gossip train... and in the process, she learned a lot more than she was ever supposed to... (lmao this is such a trashy summary!!)

↠ idea: jungkook x oc!! bts mafia au!! kpop universe!!]

↠ part 1 [] part 2 [] part 3 [] part 4?

“I’ll bring you your stuff later, ok sis? Just please don’t trip on yourself if you see Han Jisung. Please.”

“For the last time! I DON’T LIKE HIM!”

“Sure sis… you definitely don’t have a sketchbook of drawings of him.”

“You can stop talking now!”

The two had arrived at Jeongmi’s new room, because college dorms were way too expensive. And lucky for her, there was a Min Jisol who was looking for a roommate.

“I’ll bring your stuff around later, ok?”

“Ok… bye!”

But in his defense, Jungkook believed he had the right to be worried about his little sister. Because he was pretty darn sure he knew exactly how her roommate was: the infamous Min Jisol of Daegu Town High School. She was the girl that everyone warned you about. It was obvious she smoked because she always coughed as if she had smoker’s lung and could literally collapse at any given moment. And Jesus Christ, she always smelled like goddamn alcohol! She always seemed as if she had tried to get the stank of alcohol off, but in the end she miserably failed and the smell basically radiated off of her. But of course, can’t forget that she was always late and skipping class. The problem? She never got in trouble for it. To top it all off, she graduated as valedictorian. Combined with her popularity amongst the boys for her looks, it was no surprise when the gossip train tooted about Jisol sleeping around with the administration to get straight A’s. Hence, she was basically the queen of the school in all aspects. Despite all the obvious warning signs, people loved her. Earning her the nickname, Harley Queen.

But Jungkook was barely any better and he knew it. His reputation wasn’t exactly spotless since he hit high school. Puberty had treated him very kindly, earning the attention from all the girls within the school district. Especially at sport competitions. And every so often, a girl would ask to speak to him somewhere quiet. Alone. Like a lost lamb, he would follow. He never did anything, didn’t even touch them, yet the gossip train tooted that Jungkook had a knack for quickies and breaking the girls’ hearts once he was done with them. Because of this one fact, Jungkook had begrudgingly agreed to let Jeongmi room with Jisol. Maybe she was just another victim of the gossip train, just like him.  Or maybe it was just his grudge against her for… a number of reasons.

“Ok… bye Jungkook!”

“I’ll bring your stuff up in like, two hours ok?”

“Uh-huh. Goodbye!”

Obviously, Jeongmi was super embarrassed that her brother was basically dropping her off at her first apartment. And she didn’t want to make a bad first impression, so she did everything in her power to shoo him away. But as soon as the door opened, Jeongmi was shocked by the girl’s beauty in front of her. All of her doubts disappeared into thin air and she found herself bowing awkwardly.

“Hello, my name is Jeongmi. It’s really nice to meet you!”

But Jisol was already busting a lung with laughter.

“You are so cute!! But anyway, you don’t have to act so formal around me. We’re roommates now Jeongmi. As you probably know, my name’s Jisol and welcome to the apartment!”

Despite having only met once or twice, Jeongmi already felt the bond forming between them.

“Do you need any help bringing your stuff up or anything?”

“Actually, my brother is bringing up my stuff in a couple of hours.”

“Girl, that’s honestly sibling goals. My brother would tell me to suck it up and be independent like all the girls in the world preach about.”

But now, Jeongmi was confused as hell. How in the world did Jisol have such awful rumors circulating about her? She was honestly one of the sweetest, most wholesome Jeongmi had ever met. But for Jisol? She was just over the moon that there was someone who was willing to give her a clean slate and actually get to know her. Not try to kiss up to her just so she could be referred to one of the guys. The reason everyone thought she was a slut was that most of her friends were guys. Mostly because the other girls at school were entirely too judgemental. And super bitchy.

“Feel free to explore, Jeongmi. Lol, you don’t have to be so nervous. You kinda live her now?”

And Jeongmi was like, why the hell does it literally smell like freaking daisies? Smoker’s lung, my foot! There wasn’t even the slightest whiff of smoke or alcohol anywhere. That’s when the knock came faintly. Which Jeongmi barely heard.

“Hi, I’m Jungkook, Jeongmi’s older brother. I came to drop off her stuff?”

Already, Jungkook was gaining attention from the neighbors. Mostly because the apartment was a hot spot for college kids who couldn’t afford or didn’t want to live in a dorm.

“Unnie, do you mind if he comes inside? Because there are literally people crowding the hallway just to stare at him. And it’s kinda gross?”

“Yeah, of course! Come on in.”

See, Jeongmi was totally clueless to the history between Jungkook and Jisol. They had been rivals at everything, all the way up until high school. But that was a different story. Sighing, Jisol let him in, promising herself to be civil for Jeongmi’s sake, if not hers.

As for Jungkook, he was surprised to see the two three-star black belts hanging in the open closet and the sheer amount of beat-up medical textbooks on the kitchen table.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“Uh, no. I’m good actually. But thanks.”

And he was 100% surprised at how well Jisol was keeping her cool. Taking the heavy box from him, Jisol gave Jungkook a tight smile.

“I  can help Jeongmi unpack if you have somewhere you need to be.”

But Jisol knew that look in his eyes all too well. There was no way this could be the apartment of the Harley Queen, right? There was no way that the Queen would actually be reading and studying to get good grades, right? She had to be hiding the booze somewhere, right? The drugs? The weed? The cigarette packs? And Jungkook understood the tone of dismissal in her voice all too well.

“Then I’ll be going then. Bye, Mi!”

But as Jungkook made his way down to his car, he couldn’t but think of the little collage of Jisol’s baby pictures on the wall. One of them was of the two of them holding hands as they crossed the street. Groaning out loud, Jungkook looked towards the sky.

“STOP BEING IN MY LIFE MIN JISOL!!!!!”

Why was his life so intertwined with Jisol’s?!! On top of already being entangled with every aspect of his life, why was she his ex-girlfriend from preschool too?!! He thought he’d erased his memory of her a long time ago!!

When Jungkook got back to the house, he wasn’t surprised to find Yoongi watching TV on the couch.

“So… how did it go?”

“I mean, Jeongmi seems to really like her, so I guess that’s all that matters.”

Shaking his head, Yoongi sat up straight.

“But I asked what your thoughts on Jisol are?”

“She’s… a lot different from what I expected.”

“How so?”

“She seems a lot more… put together than everyone takes her for. There’s not a single trace of cologne, smoke, drugs, or alcohol in there. I honestly have no idea how the hell these rumors formed about her. She seems really nice.”

“Well… she has changed a lot since high school ended. Plus, the rumors are mostly my fault. But I thought you were-”

“What are you talking about, hyung?”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Jungkook. However, this story isn’t entirely mine to tell, so it’d be a tad unfair if she weren’t here to explain the entirety of the situation.”

“But-”

“No.”

Grumbling, Jungkook made his way to the shower. He knew where he stood among the seven guys as the youngest: at the top. But when it came to Yoongi? That was all null and void.

“YAH JUNGKOOK-AH! JOONIE HAS A MISSION FOR YOU, JIMIN, AND TAE!!”

Jin yelled through the door, banging on it to disrupt the peace of the hot, running water.

“Ok hyung! I’ll be out soon! BUT YOU BREAK THAT DOOR I SWEAR-”

“BYE!”

But why was Tae coming on this mission? That almost never happened. He was the one who usually stayed back to work the comms and get all the inside info that was necessary to send to whoever was out in the field. But if he was coming, Joon-hyung’s mission for them had to be insanely top priority if Tae was coming out to play. 10 minutes later, the boys were seated on the floor in front of Joon.

“Does everyone here know Song Yuri?”

“Yeah. We’re all in the same biology class.”

“Well we just found out from our spy that Yuri is actually the heiress of the Ahn Empire in Daegu.”

“Wait… aren’t they the ones-”

“Who created a memory implanter and have passed down some secret through generations, using it?!!”

“Yes, that one. And if everyone else knows, then everyone is going to be gunning for her. She’s dating one of the NCT boys so we have to be careful. From what we know, she’s close with all of the NCT boys so we have to be careful. The reason I chose you three is because you have a subconscious memory of Yuri’s behavioral patterns So please bring her back alive. Got that?”

“Yes hyung.”

“Good. We’ve also got word that it’s one of the Dreamies’ birthdays today so they’ll be vulnerable. I will take the other hyungs to take them out, ok?”

“Ok hyung. See you later!”

________________________________________________________________

A/N: OKAY YAY PART 1 IS DONE OF THE BLOOD UNIVERSE SERIES!! lmao idek if i actually want to turn all the “books” of this series into the same universe but we’ll see:) btw i literally just fangirled so hard in the car when dream glow came on LOL!

↠ part 1 [] part 2 [] part 3 [] part 4?

[kiruuuuu]

Oneshot in which Montagne, Blitz and Bandit go fishing together. What could go wrong? (Rating T, who thought this was a good idea, ~900 words) - written for @thefishychicken​! 💖

.

The gentle waves lapping at the pier are just as calming as the low light of the setting sun. It’ll be an hour until it’s fully dark and the twilight is bringing out the coast’s natural beauty, emphasising the vibrant blue-green of the sea and painting the beach in a warm ochre. Montagne is comfy in his jacket, zip pulled all the way up, hands buried in pockets, so he barely feels the salty breeze. Next to him, Blitz’ gaze is sweeping the horizon, the German looking as complacent and content as Montagne feels. There’s hardly anything more relaxing than being out fishing together.

“Fucking shitass motherfucker, let me – fuck!”

Blitz heaves a deep breath and takes a sip from his beer whereas Montagne doesn’t even look up.

“Jesus Christ, why won’t you open, you cunt, fucking stubborn piece of fucking shit -”

Neither of them points out that Blitz is more than capable of opening the beer bottle on the wooden railing because the last time he did it, he accidentally spilled some of the beer and sent Bandit into yet another fit. “Tide’s moving out again”, Montagne murmurs. “We can probably pack up soon.”

“Great. Not like you got anything done in the hours we’ve been here”, Bandit complains behind their backs, audibly struggling with the bottle still. “Fucking go, you fucking prick! I was promised fish for dinner but I guess just saltwater will have to do. Have you two even done this before?”

He’s slurring his words and stumbling about and suddenly Montagne is very grateful for the banister’s existence. They brought enough beers to get comfortably tipsy, yet instead Bandit got piss drunk and Montagne and Blitz got to watch. Neither of them realised the lack of activity would pose a problem, but looking back it seems insane they expected Bandit to simply sit still for a few hours.

“Dom, shut up and sit down, I’m not rescuing your ass out of the ocean”, Blitz grumbles back and fortunately doesn’t catch the rude gesture aimed at him.

“Fuck it, I’ll use my knife.”

The quiet comment has both fishers alarmed. They turn around on the flimsy camping chairs they brought, just in time to witness Bandit unfolding a concerningly large knife, appraise the beer in his hand – and then saber it open. One clean swipe, and the top of the bottle is gone.

“Holy shit, you could’ve cut your thumb off”, Blitz hisses, and Montagne simultaneously: “Wow, Dom, that was amazing!” They exchange a quick glance, Blitz unimpressed and Montagne sheepish. Flashing his lover a smug grin, Bandit tips the bottle to pour some of the amber liquid into his mouth and largely misses.

“Why don’t you go build the tent”, Blitz suggests with clenched teeth and, after Bandit mock salutes him and staggers off, defends himself: “What? Don’t look at me like that. With any luck, he’ll get himself tangled up and fall asleep. Certainly better than nearly pissing into the wind again.”

Montagne chuckles at the memory and overlooks Blitz’ glare. No wonder they’re not catching much, it seems like the fish don’t much care for Bandit’s bodily fluids.

A brief, blissful, quiet period follows during which neither of them speak much, focusing on the rolling waves and their fishing rods, watching for any disturbance or indication they caught dinner. It last for no longer than a few minutes, after which footsteps announce more trouble, and not only because they’re uneven and stuttery.

“Look, I found something to speed up the process”, Bandit declares proudly and Montagne barely has time to look up before Blitz already screams DOM NO. A first glance is enough to reveal why, but Bandit has already forcibly pulled the pin out of the grenade and the other two are left watching helplessly as he tosses it into the sea – with an alcohol-burdened throwing arm. Meaning it lands only a few metres away, plunks into the water with a dull sound and Blitz has activated panic mode.

“Get down, move, fuck, move!”, he screeches, nearly strangling Montagne while trying to drag him away from the impending explosion, slamming Bandit to the ground violently and causing him to moan in suffering over the sudden shift in gravity.

Nothing happens.

“Please let go”, Montagne asks politely and rises when Blitz, thoroughly confused, obliges. Next to them, Bandit starts noisily throwing up over the edge of the boardwalk after having crawled the distance. “That was my salt shaker.”

Blitz blinks at him. “Your what.”

“I was in a hurry when you picked me up, and I figured none of you brought one, so I took it with me.”

“Why do you have -”

“It was a gift from my mother. To be fair, I always thought it was tacky, so I’m glad I can buy a new one now.”

The German is having obvious trouble keeping up with Montagne’s nonchalance and shakes his head in disbelief, runs his hand through his hair. “Okay, well. Glad we, uh, got that sorted out. Maybe we just… won’t have fish today. How does that sound?”

“Yeah I’m not eating anything which swam around in that anyway”, Bandit adds in the background.

“How about we just order pizza?” And for some reason, Montagne’s suggestion has Bandit retching again.

Something tells him that they’re going to return to civilisation with a newfound appreciation of the small things, and this absolutely counts as a win in Montagne’s books.

[pallasperilous]

Morning Glory

Rating: Gen/Teen Word Count: 1795, complete Pairing: Dean/Castiel Tags: Temporarily Human Castiel, Canon universe, anxiety, insomnia, sleep disorders, angel vessels, references to the Empty, references to alcohol abuse AO3 version: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18163709 Prompt: Written as a lil clapback to the fanon trope that Human!Castiel Is Not A Morning Person. (For @cr-noble-writes and @chuckwinchester)

Dean couldn’t really explain why he’d assumed Cas would suck at mornings. Maybe the 24/7 bedhead and the “it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere” shadow; maybe the fact he never really seemed convinced that “taking a shower” and “eating breakfast” weren’t just some elaborate long con they’ve been pulling on him for the last half a goddamn decade. Maybe just the way he veers into grouchy asshole territory whenever the world takes a dump on his shoes, which is kind of the definition of mornings. 

Whatever: Cas just seems like the kind of guy who’d need forty minutes of silence and three cups of coffee before he’d count as human.

Hey, well, joke’s on Dean, ‘cuz the guy definitely (currently) counts as human, and he’s awake at five fucking thirty in the morning, every morning, bright-tailed and bushy-eyed and talking a mile a minute. A mile a second. He’s breaking the sound barrier and exerting serious G-forces. 

Dean would tear his own face off if he thought it’d make the dude shut up until the Pop-Tarts came up. Instead he just kinda lets the Cas Chatter wash over him, like really phlegmy birdsong, or the world’s weirdest morning chit chat show.  

Cas has at least taught himself to make coffee –– apparently all on his own, since Sam isn’t taking credit for it, and Sam loves taking credit for shit. It’s not the worst coffee, either. I mean, it’s bad coffee, nobody here is drinking Good Coffee, it’s a weapon, not an experience –– but it’s not watery or full of grounds or made with orange juice or some other weird dumbass goof. 

Sam’s take is that maybe Jimmy Novak was a Morning Person and now that Cas isn’t using the guy’s body as a kind of celestial thermos, some of the dude’s original behaviors or genetics or whatever are sort of…coming back online, reasserting themselves. “Like the burger thing,” Sam says, shrugging.

“Well, that’s ten kinds of fucked up,” Dean answers, but then the goddamn ghoul turns out to be a whole Leave It To Beaver nuclear ghoul family and the conversation gets extremely tabled.

There’s a morning awhile after where Dean wakes up still drunk and can’t handle the thought of two more hours riding the motel bed over the rolling seas of FuckUpistan, so he gets up and showers off the townie bar fug as best he can without waking Sam – only Sam, because it’s dawn and so Cas is already up and probably singing Disney princess songs to the seagulls haunting the trashcans in the parking lot. 

Dean reaches to scoop his keys and does a bleary double take when they’re not on the nightstand. He takes a moment to freak out at the possibility of Cas doing his clutch-smiting routine on the Impala, but something twigs and he peels open the door and yep, the car’s still in the lot, outlined in scribbly motel neon and highway dawn pink. There’s a faint warble of bass rolling off it in time tooooo…Dean’s gonna say Hole in the Sky? So he kinda queases his way over the lumpy asphalt and knuckles on the driver side window and Cas jumps a fucking foot, or he would if he weren’t wearing the goddamn lap belt in a perfectly stationary car.

Dean thumbs at the other side and Cas shakes himself off enough to lean over and pop it for him. Dean slides in and the car smells like three hour-old motel check-in desk coffee – his stomach immediately tries to file a lawsuit but the sanctity of the leather interior wins over his bodily need to evacuate poisons every time. Cas’s hands are back on the steering wheel, gripping it at 10 and 2 like a good boy but with his knuckles the color of popcorn, an abused-looking paper cup empty on the seat besides him, and Sabbath is still living on the profits of pride at top volume. Dean rolls it down to conversational levels so he doesn’t have to scream when he says “What’s the story, morning glory?”

Reminder: Dean is definitely still drunk.

Thankfully Cas doesn’t really know from Oasis or Sunday morning BJs so Dean just gets two blue eyeballs full of blank terror. 

Dean tries again, picks the cup up off the seat. There’s a rind of dried coffee juice inside. “What’s up? Sunrise three minutes off? Songbirds outta order? Thought you’d be out here braiding your hair and frolicking in the dew or some shit.” 

Cas blinks, which is something he’s been doing a lot more lately and frankly is a weird look for him. “No,” he says, voice cracking. “I haven’t done any of those things this morning.” He frowns, which is a little better. “Or any morning, to my knowledge.”

“So, what then? Bad dreams?” 

Cas scrunches his face up in his left hand, pulls it back through his already frankly insane hair, sighs out a gust of Eau de Flopsweat. “No. I didn’t dream at all.”

“Congrats.”

Cas goggles back at him. “As much as I dislike dreaming as a…subject, instead of an observer. I find its absence.” He hesitates. “Much worse.”

Dean rubs his eyes because this has that angsty metaphysical angel pong to it and that’s really more of a Sam Specialty. “How’s it worse? I drink for those nights, man. It’s a few hours off of. You know.” He gestures at The Universe, Generally. “All this shit.”

Cas scoffs and leans back in the seat, although he doesn’t release the wheel from the iron grip. “Dean, in almost four billion years of existence –”

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Dean mutters, because this is the traditional overture to an absolute diarrhea of angelsplaining.

Cas ignores him, or maybe Sabbath covers his tracks – “I have never been rendered…unconscious.”

Dean gives him a look, because bullshit. “C’mon. I’ve seen you knocked out before. Down for the count.”

Cas shakes his head. “I’ve been forced to cede control over my vessel. I’ve withdrawn into it to preserve myelf. I’ve experienced a fugue state, or been made to retroactively forget details of my experience. But I have never.” He breathes in through his nose, the edges of his nostrils going white to match his knuckles. “I’ve never been insensate and unaware at the same time.”

Some asshat pulling his rig out of the diner across the way opens up his jake brake and Cas flinches at the crack. 

“Huh,” is about what Dean’s got to serve up. “You worried somebody’s gonna snuff you while you’re down? We can take shifts when we’re on the road, if that’s what’s freakin’ you out.”

Another shake of the head. “Anyone truly invested in eliminating me specifically in this…state would be too powerful or competent to be defended against through normal means. Angels can be killed, Dean. My experience of a mortal death would be – ” he cuts himself off. “Less worrisome than the alternative, in many ways.”

“Cool, so, being murdered in your sleep, not a concern.”

“I’m more concerned,” Cas huffs, “that I am unable to defend you.” His forehead droops down towards the steering wheel, like a houseplant somebody forgot to water before a Disneyland vacation.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Dean says.

“I am not,” Cas answers, “fucking kidding you.”

Dean snorts. “I made it thirty years without your feathery ass watching over me. Now you’ve just got a normal-ass…ass, you think I’m suddenly shaking in my boots? C’mon, man.”

Cas shrugs, which looks even weirder on him than the blinking.

Dean twiddles the paper cup, rolls it between his palms. “You haven’t been, like, watching me and Sam sleep, have you? Because you know I can stand that Twilight shit.”

“No,” Cas says, in a tone of infinite offense, like Dean has suggested he sleeps in girls underwear or something. “But, Dean. The experience of sleep. Dreamless sleep. It’s not. It’s not dissimilar to what we are told to expect, as angels, after death.”

(The music slides over into Symptom of the Universe and Dean desperately wishes he’d left something peppier in the deck when they pulled in last night.)

 “Only I’m given to understand that we are at least…in company with each other. Though silent and unaware. We share the same sleep. In a way it’s a return to our origin as an undifferentiated host. But in human sleep.” He looks over at Dean, face slack. “You’re alone. Prisoner in a corporeal cell. Did you know,” he goes on, practically stepping on himself, warming up the verbal jet engines, “that some individuals experience a phenomenon where, upon waking, they suffer a period of total bodily paralysis?” 

Dean frowns. “Yeah. Sounds shitty.”

Cas nods. “Jimmy experienced it semi-regularly.” Then he looks out and up, squints at the motel sign. Maybe he needs glasses.

“So you inherited it, huh?” Dean says, softly. Cas doesn’t respond. “So, sleeping’s shit. And waking up’s shit.”

Cas’s squint turns into a wince. “In the Bunker, I’ll get up and make coffee.”

Dean waggles the mutilated cup. “Yeah, noticed that. Thinking of buying stock in Folger’s.”

“I’ll visit the archives, or. Write letters.” (Who the fuck is he writing letters to, Dean idly wonders? Dear Angel Abby?) “Go up to the roof to,” he glances at Dean, anticipating the eyeroll, “watch the dawn. On the road, it’s…more difficult to keep myself occupied. Keep my mind off of the fact that I can no longer hear the rest of the host. That I am,” he stretches his palms out over the wheel, tenses his clenched fingers, “quite nearly useless,”

“Cas,” Dean says, even more softly.

“And that, in a mere matter of hours,” Castiel closes his eyes, or the eyes he is currently doing business under. “The cycle will repeat.”

“Cas,” Dean says. And he reaches out what he suspects is the memory of Mom’s hand and sets his palm on the back of the guy’s neck, against the damp skin and unwashed hair. The muscles there relax but the blue eyes stay closed and Dean drops the cup on the floor and sets the other hand that’s just his on the side of Cas’s face, and slowly sweeps the side of his thumb over the sandpaper jaw and waxy cheekbone. 

And he pulls Cas’s head towards him, then down against his own shoulder and chest. Cas’s hands peel off the steering wheel and drift to lie, palms open, up, across their undistinguished assortment of kneecaps and thighs.

After awhile, a few more tracks in the tape, Cas’s breathing goes smoothe and deep. Dean feels eyelashes flicker against his collarbone – guy’s already dreaming.

Dean watches the dawn, reflected on motel windows.  

[freezerburnxfanatic]

Two can play this game. 12, 21, 22, 24, 37, 42, 78, 95, 100, 118, 127, 140, 146, and 148?

@lunacy13 (Hehe you SLY DEVIL you

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

1. Because of You - Kelly Clarkson (always my favorite song).

2. Getaway Car - Lea Michele

3. Objectivist on Fire - Bayside.

4. Go High - Kelly Clarkson

5. Jesus Christ - Brand New

21. What are you bad habits?

None. I’m perfect. lol. Um, probably well shit. I have tons of these. Alcohol is one of those bad habits. Recklessness. Boredom and acting out. Getting INSANELY attached to someone I like obsessively so. Jealousy… yeah jealousy bad. Eating junk food and nothing else. Caring very little for work or money.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Anywhere but Kansas. Literally ANYWHERE.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Ummm when I get one I will tell ya! :p I have the basic routines down, but really I guess the server and shit has been great lately.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Usually make them MORE awkward. I am that person that will just randomly start talking about my tits in the middle of awkward silence for no fucking reason.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

That is dependent on the person I suppose. Sometimes I just need to disconnect from people, especially when things are dramatic or I’m feeling emotional turmoil. Sometimes I just like to be alone. If I’m quiet in person, like dead quiet I’m either thinking or upset. And then, when I like someone a lot of the times I’ll be quiet cause I feel like I’m annoying the fuck outta them or overbearing. So I make them come to me so I don’t be that.

78  Favourite ice cream flavour?

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

95. Last movie you watched?

Just rewatched Quarantine & Splinter the other night. Last movie I watched in theaters was Megan Leavey. 

100. How are you feeling?

A mix of emotions and thoughts, but today has been good. Started good. Is going good.

118.  Do you like Chinese food?

I FUCKING LOVE CHINESE FOOD. God Im hungry.

127. What makes you happy?

My things/shows/games/characters, my family/nephew, and certain special people in my life. 

140. Summer or Winter?

I like the breaks in Summer but I much prefer Winter. I love snow. I like when it’s cold verses when its hot af. I also am deathly afraid of bugs and they all go away in Winter which is nice.

146.Was today a good day?

Today was a GREAT day.

148. What’s your favourite quote?

Either “He who has a WHY to live can bear almost any HOW.” or “My solitude doesn’t depend on the presence or absence of people; on the contrary, I hate who steals my solitude without, in exchange, offering me true company.”

[soap-brain]

‘sup i got tagged by @elroymarvelous (and i need to stop using ‘sup as a greeting jesus christ *tips fedora*)

aaand i’m tagging @bottomkirk @greetings-from-the-suffer-puppet @isthisspockspeaking @lieutenant-sapphic @loststarlight @wordssometimesfail @trappist-1p @autisticarchieandrews @greenjimkirk @plaidshirtjimkirk @jamest-kirk @subinnnnn @tomatosdumpster @thetardisismysoulanimal @random-fandoms-trash @thatpunktrekkie and anyone else who wants to do this! just consider yourself tagged :)

 THE LAST

1. Drink: black tea

2. Phone call: my dad? i think? i don’t call people unless i can’t totally avoid it

3. Text message: @isthisspockspeaking

4. Song you listened to: we built this city by starship

5. Time you cried: ???? probably last week or tomorrow

6. Dated someone twice: njoope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i’m unkissed, therefore...

8. Been cheated on: nah

9. Lost someone special: yup

10. Been depressed: lkjsldfjslfjklasjdflajs life is hell atm so yes, constantly

11. Gotten drunk + thrown up: literally every time i have as much as two cocktails?? i don’t get it tbh. and i didn’t even really get drunnk

3 Favorite Colors

12. yellow

13. blue

14. green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends: yup!

16. Fallen out of love: didn’t even fall in love so falling out of it is kinda difficult

17. Laughed until you cried: the aquarium incident in physics lab the week before last. i’ve never laughed so hard in my life i think. cried again when we rehashed it

18. Found out someone was talking about you: i guess?? but i knew it already, and it wasn’t bad stuff

19. Met someone who changed you: uhh? maybe

20. Found out who your friends are: (does this year count as last year?? do we mean last calendar year or last 12 months? cause then HELL YES jesus)

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook page: thank god no lol

GENERAL:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all of them, but there’re a couple where i only assume who they are tbh

23. do you have any pets: ... five cactuses. i bet that counts :p

24. do you want to change your name: i wrote a wonderful monologue about how ravenna is actually p great and i’m learning to be her at @greetings-from-the-suffer-puppet a couple days ago or so. my name makes me pretty damn unique, and i like it!

25. what did you do for your last birthday: went out to dinner with my family and got drinks with an ex-friend later

26. what time did you wake up: I OVERSLEPT AND WOKE UP AT TEN AM MY ALARM WAS FOR 6:30 FUCK ME

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: uh. @bottomkirk uhhh MADE ME watch the dramatic readings of my immortal

28. name something you can’t wait for: august 1, 2017, around 2pm (i’ll be done with my chem final by then and probably also through the post-final breakdown and hopefully already packing / having packed my suitcase)

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: two weeks ago (ish)

31. what are you listening to right now: the two illustrious construction zones a street over :D and whatever else comes through the window. also rain pattering

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes my dad’s best friend’s name is tom and he’s a cool dude. weird, since he’s an artist, but cool

33. something that is getting on your nerves: well i’m mostly done with being insanely annoyed by the spn fandom, so atm it’s the mcu

34. most visited website: tumblurb

35. hair colour: ???? it’s like a dark blonde in places but the tips are light blonde. i’m considering becoming a redhead over the summer :D

36. long or short hair: mine? long. on people? whatever floats their boat

37. do you have a crush on someone: no

38. what do you like about yourself: ???? i think i’m getting a really good grip on my life but it does contain lots of internal crying

39. piercings: two in both ear lobes

40. blood type: 0+ i think. i’m sure about the 0 but i forgot my rhesus type

41. nickname: i don’t have one :( please give me one?

42. relationship status: single pringle terrified to mingle

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: wtf kinda question is that. tos all the way

46. tattoos: i WANT but i’m so broke i don’t quite know how to afford food for the next two weeks haha

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: a couple minor ones, once getting my wisdom teeth out and once having a dark birthmark removed. also i think i had to get one of my milk teeth removed by the dentist :D also there was the glass table incident. me and my sisters all have actual scars from that glass table. i p much slit my lip on it and you can still see the scar! fun times! my other sister has a small piece of her ear missing bc of that table :D

50. sport: horseback riding (*cries* i wish i had a stable here), yoga, running

51. vacation: THIS STUPID QUESTION IS IN ALL THESE THINGS AND I JUST HAVE TOO MANY ANSWERS!! ugh. FINE. let’s do this as per the distance these places are away from me. berlin. the netherlands. sweden. the uk. iceland. italy (esp rome, venice and ravenna), france. greece (all the ancient cultures yay). barcelona. idk whether egypt is safe atm but egypt (the pyramids and that all). south africa. japan. china. australia. chile. brazil. mexico. the usa (a roadtrip. you know, the classic. also nyc??? i miss you. also hey i have friendos there!!). canada. OUTER FUCKING SPACE LIKE WHOA

52. pair of trainers: does this mean the shoes or a coach?? i do own shoes if that is the question. several even.

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: rn? nothing. but there will likely be pancakes today

54. drinking: water, and obscene amounts of black tea

55. I’m about to: study (lmao procrastination ftw)

56. waiting for: august 1, 2017, 2pm

57. want: a fucking break

58. get married: maybe

59. career: doctor!! (hey what do you call a nerdy doctor? a DORKtor ahhahahaha love me please)

54. drinking: as in alcohol?? ehh. i have half an apple cider in the fridge, and other than that there’re like two cocktails i like to drink, maybe three

WHICH IS BETTER:

60. hugs or kisses: i’m touch starved so i’m a slut for any kind of physical attention tbh

61. lips or eyes: i like lips cause then you can speak and eat food. i like eyes for seeing (though mine have a glitch. i need an expansion pack for them)

62. shorter or taller: i’m tall. small people are ok but you need to be careful so you don’t lose them in your purse

63. older or younger: ??? well i like kids and seniors can be assholes but also vice versa so idk 

64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms bring the food. stomach holds the food. GoodTM (personally? i’d like for my arms to stop having acne and for my stomach to be flat. thank)

65. hookup or relationship: relationship

66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant (i only pretend to be tough lmao)

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: nah

68. drank hard liquor: what qualifies as hard?? i’ve had vodka in my drinks, but they were cocktails, so ?? (actually we made moscow mules when i visited my parents and the recipe said to put in 4 cl of vodka but i’m PRETTY sure my dad put in more)

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: akjslöfdjasldfjasldf fuck me up. yes. also broken them. also you try to have -5 dpt and find your fucking glasses. i can see 20ish cm in front of my face clearly. when i lose my glasses i’m essentially fucked

70. turned someone down: yes, and it was a good idea

71. sex on the first date: ha no

73. had your heart broken: sure

74. been arrested: :D (no)

75. cried when someone died: irl? cried when someone almost died. movies? yes.

76. fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: i guess so, yeah!

78. miracles: “magic is just science that you don’t understand yet”

79. love at first sight: no

80. santa claus: excuse you, this is americawashing. in germany we have the christkind. fuck off

81. kiss on the first date: maybe??

82. angels: ehhhh

OTHER:

84. eye colour: slate grey

85. favourite movie: Wonder Woman (2017) dir. Patty Jenkins (elroy wrote this and imma leave this here), also the one with the whales, transporter 3 and a very specific version of cinderella

[gxldentrio]

Hearts Don’t Break Around Here

Prompt: you’re trying to toilet train your 20 pound cat and you sent me this photo and now I can’t stop crying out of laughter in public.

A/N: Happy birthday to my favourite human @fetchalgernon - I love you. Thank you for making it impossible for me to write modern!jily and not include algernon. So here you go, 100% of fluff and shenanigans, with next to 0 plot. I hope you enjoy <3

Thank you @yourbcky for the stellar beta job x

Read on FFN or AO3.

It’s three in the afternoon on a Saturday when Lily drops a bag of frozen peas all over the floor of her local supermarket.

It really isn’t her fault, to be perfectly honest. Yes, she’s making a fool of herself, crying with laughter as she struggles to gather the peas that have spilled all over the floor. and the others down the aisle - from the old woman looking at the yorkshire puddings, all the way to the middle aged man studying a ratty shopping list - probably think she’s mental now, but it really isn’t her fault.

Picture this: you’re running errands, casually making your way through every different sodding aisle of the nearest Tesco Express because Sirius and co. are coming over for dinner, and the only things you have in your fridge are mustard and cheese crackers – and even though you know full well they wouldn’t mind, you actually feel like trying for a change.

Your phone buzzes with a message notification, and when you slide your finger over the screen, you’re met with a picture of Algernon, your boyfriend’s insane and alarmingly orange cat, sitting next to an empty litter box. Yes, empty, because all of the litter is strewn across the midnight blue carpet, and you can practically feel James’ despair simply by looking at his face.

If this was the case, you’d probably be cracking up like an idiot as well.

   [15:02] james: toilet training algernon is not… going as expected

[15:03] lily: I dropped my peas.

[15:03] james: ???

[15:04] james: tht was a typo right

[15:05] lily: I was getting food for tonight and the picture you sent me made me drop my bag of peas.

[15:06] lily: They rolled everywhere, James. I hope you’re peased with yourself.

[15:06] james: :(

[15:06] james: btw i cant believe YOU made a pun

[15:06] lily: I know, you’re a terrible influence

[15:06] lily: Also, you’re cleaning that up.

[15:07]: james: just like u cleaned up the peas right

   After that, he adds an emoji, the one with the cool pair of sunglasses, and if it wasn’t so damn endearing, it would probably make Lily want to set her hair on fire. Or maybe she’d set his on fire, he likes it so much, the prat.

Then, Lily does the worst thing she could probably do in this moment – she takes another glance at that damn photograph, and cracks a smile, one that quickly turns into loud and uncontrollable laughter. Especially when she notices Algernon’s satisfied face, almost smirking at her, except not really because he’s a cat.

“Ma’am, are you alright?” one of the store clerks asks her, tentatively placing one hand on her bicep and the other one on the nape of his neck.

“Y-yes!” she answers, struggling – and failing miserably – to contain her amusement. She can already picture tomorrow’s gossip magazine headlines: “SUPERMODEL LILY EVANS LOSES IT AT LOCAL TESCO.”

The thought of it only makes her laugh even more, even harder, and she can feel it tugging at her core. At this point, Lily is pretty sure there are tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Are you quite certain?” the employee asks, looking a tad frightened. He looks about seventeen, a whole six years younger than Lily. She guesses no one warned him about redheaded madwomen when he signed up for the job. Still, Lily mentally praises him for the courage it must have taken to even approach her in the first place. She doesn’t really look threatening, at least she doesn’t think so, but Lily can only imagine what passers-by must be thinking.

  [15:18] james: I can’t believe u left me on read

[15:18] james: what kind of betrayal is that

  Lily glances at the screen, grinning at her boyfriend’s absolute lunacy. but nonetheless places her phone back in her pocket, choosing instead to pick up some peppers. It’s a tedious task, analysing vegetables, and Lily soon grows bored of it. She hears the tell-tale ping of her phone, and rolls her eyes.

  [15:19] james: answer me woman

[15:20] lily: Jesus Christ, James. What is it?

[15:20] james: can u pick up some toiler paper

  Quirking up one of her eyebrows, she replies.

  [15:21] lily: We have 20 rolls already?

[15:21] james: see the thing is luv

[15:21] james: algernon really likes 2 play

[15:22] james: [Photo Attachment]

 “Oh my god,” she whispers, staring at her screen in disbelief. “I leave them alone for ten minutes,” she says, running one hand through her hair, effectively ruining the pretty ponytail situation she had going on.

Quickly, she one-handedly scrolls through the contacts on her phone and presses ‘call’, all while still holding the damn peppers.

“Remus?” she sighs. “Are you busy right now?”

“Not really, why?”

“Would you mind popping over to our place for a bit? Just to keep an eye on James?”

“Is he still trying to toilet train the cat?” but it comes out more like a statement instead of a question.

“Yep.”

She hears him swallow through the call.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

“Thank you, you’re a star.”

It takes Lily around thirty minutes to finish up her shopping and for her to reach her house. It takes her around twenty-nine minutes and twenty-seven seconds for her to get over whatever internal fit she was having.

Sure, James may act like an idiot seventy percent of the time, but he’s her James and she loves him. More than she can count on all her fingers, more than she can stretch her arms around her back.

Carefully hoisting up her way-too-many shopping bags, she rings the doorbell with her elbow, the usual smile on her face, because really, how could she not smile when this is what she’s coming home to? Her boyfriend, his ridiculous cat – and, in this case, Remus.

It’s James who answers the door, immediately asking, “are you mad at me?”. Lily is pleased to notice that there’s not a piece of kitty litter in sight.

“Nah, I think I’ll keep you around for a little longer,” she replies, successfully pressing her lips into a line as thin as the horizon. She’s not mad, she just likes watching him sweat a little. Then, because the poor sod looks like he’s about to choke, she adds “so as long as you keep providing me with entertainment, that is.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he says, and a smile stretches across both their lips, as James leans in to quickly peck Lily on the cheek. “Let me help,” James adds, taking some of the plastic bags from her hands.

“Where’s Remus?” Lily asks, removing her pair of aviator sunglasses from her incredibly tangled hair.

“On the couch,” replies James, and she can practically hear the smirk on his voice when he adds, “apparently BBC One is playing Bake-Off reruns.”

That makes Lily stop dead in her tracks. She turns around, back to him, and asks “are you shitting me?”

“Nope,” James answers, popping the ‘p’ and swinging back and forth. “Season five, too.”

Lily gives her boyfriend a toothy grin, and her eyes light up like a kid’s at a toy shop. After shouting a quick hello to Remus, she bolts straight to the kitchen. In the heat of the moment, she pulls out a chair, and mentally curses James for always storing things in the highest possible cupboard.

Unfortunately, her excitement for the bake-off is suddenly cut off when she slips on the recently-wiped countertop and falls on the floor. After letting out a string of colourful ‘fuck’s, she sees James enter through the door and the picture of her covered in cornflakes and sprinkles sends him over the edge, laughing like a complete madman.

“Couldn’t you just have asked for help?” he asks, grinning as he reaches for a Winnie-the-Pooh ceramic bowl. He hears Lily huff from the ground, and it makes him throw his head back as he laughs even more.

To be perfectly honest, she actually likes that he’s a giant compared to her. Even if it means he teases her every time she can’t reach the higher cupboards, because when they hug she can hear his heartbeat closer than she knew was possible. Still, it’s not like Lily could ever admit that.

Instead, she shoots him down with a playful, “do tell, how is the weather up there?”

Surprisingly enough, James decides to stop being a cocky arsehole and stretches out one hand to help her up. As soon as they’re done preparing all the snacks, she heads to the living room, obviously leaving James to carry the tea and cereal by himself.

Lily plops down on the sofa and snuggles closer to Remus. However, instead of her semi-healthy snack options, what she gets is the sound of the doorbell.

“I’ll get it!” James says, the sound of one sharp knock echoing all throughout the house – Sirius.

“I brought wine,” is the first thing he says, and upon hearing Peter’s clumsy footsteps, Algernon comes running from the kitchen and jumps into his lap.

There’s a shriek, followed by Sirius Black’s murderous voice, “get. that thing. away from me.”

Lily gets up to grab some glasses, and the five of them – plus Algernon, of course – curl up on the sofa, with cheese crackers and whatever alcohol Sirius decided to bring this time.

“This tastes like bleach, Padfoot,” complains James, and at the same time Sirius counters with a “it’s an ’83 Chateau Margaux, mate”, Lily says “oh shut up, you love it.”

James pulls her closer to him and murmurs “I love you” into her hair, while Remus makes a point to tell them how disgustingly nauseating’ the pair of them are, but they don’t care.

As long as they have this, they’re happy.

It doesn’t matter that the newspapers make up new rumours every five days, or that Peter is about thirty-seven percent in love with Mary Berry – or Sirius with Paul, for that matter.

Later that night, when their friends have left and it’s about two in the morning, the two of them lay in bed, James’ fingers threading through Lily’s damp hair, their noses touching, whispers of love floating back and forward.

James guesses it must hurt, to have your heart so full that it feels like it could burst at any moment. It’s been so long, and they’re so young, and so, so in love. It’s not like it makes any sense, but then again, things hardly ever do whenever he’s involved.

It’s intoxicating, how in love he is. Every single thing about her feels overwhelming, in the best way possible. From her blood red hair, to the vivid green of her eyes, or the freckles trailing down her shoulders, he’s in love, love, love.

His mind races back to the velvety box hidden somewhere between his socks, all black and from the same brand he’s been using since he was fifteen.

Soon.

[dancingalone21]

Come Clean - Part 3 (Final)

Summary: The reader catches Jensen snooping through her phone. 

Pairing: Jensen x Reader 

Word Count: 3,262

Part 1 Part 2

~

“What the hell was that, Jensen? Tell me now.” Danneel demands angrily narrowing her eyes.

“Um…she…well…I’ll be right back, ok?”

“What?!”

“Just give me a minute! I have to talk to Jared.” Jensen bolts to his costar’s trailer without waiting for a reply.

“What’s up?” Jared asks when Jensen bursts through his door like a mad man.

“What did Y/N say?”

“About what?”

“Don’t fuck with me right now, Padalecki.” Jensen growls surprising them both.

“I really don’t wanna be in the middle of this, man.” Jared sighs running a hand through his long chestnut hair.

“That’s hilarious.” Jensen laughs humorlessly.

“Considering this is all happened because of you!”

“What the…Y/N said the same thing. I didn’t do anything. You two are the idiots who have been hiding shit.” He huffs getting defensive.

“You’re right. You just told the love of my life how I feel about her. Yeah. You didn’t do anything.” Jensen spits with a glare.

“I’d do it again. Y/N thought I was drunk when I told her but I wasn’t. It’s too bad she didn’t spill the beans sooner but it’s better late then never.”

“Wait…you were pretending to be drunk?”

“I was tipsy but I knew what I was doing. So you’re welcome.” Jared smirks leaning back in his chair.

“You’re welcome? Are you insane?!”

“Nope. I’m the only level headed one in this trailer.”

“Son of a bitch.” Jensen grumbles under his breath, he’s trying really hard not to flip his shit.

“I hate to say it…but maybe you shouldn’t end up with Y/N. She deserves a guy who has the balls to love her out in the open. Instead of someone hiding in the shadows for six fucking years.”

“Come on…”

“You’ve been a huge pussy, dude. So what are you gonna do about it?” Jared challenges automatically pissing off his best friend. Jensen’s mouth drops, he snaps his eyes shut in an attempt to concentrate on why he’s here.

“You’re walking a fine line, my friend. Watch your mouth.” Jensen warns, his eyes now shooting daggers.

“I’m trying to help you, Ackles. I’ve kept my mouth shut long enough.” Jared watches more anger flash on his friend’s face but it quickly disappears. They both know he’s right but Jensen doesn’t want to admit it.

“Fuck it. I’m not letting Y/N push me away. I’m going to her place right now.” Jensen decides anxiously.

“Uhh aren’t you forgetting something?” Jared raises an eyebrow, clearly amused.

“What?”

“There’s an angry brunette huffing and puffing on her phone right now.” He chuckles taking a peek out the window.

“Damn it. Can you distract Danneel so I can sneak away?”

“Dude…no. Man up and break up with your girlfriend. Seriously. And if you want any chance with Y/N, do it before you show up at her house.”

“Wonderful.” Jensen groans throwing himself on to a recliner. He whips his iPhone out to text Danneel, hoping to buy himself a little more time before shit hits the fan.

Almost done. Head over to my trailer. I’ll meet you there.

“What did Y/N say to you? She was in here a while.” Jensen asks quietly, praying he will be able to fix this.

“She was obviously upset. She thinks everything is ruined between you two especially since you’re with Danneel. And…” Jared pauses dreading his next sentence.

“And?”

“She’s quitting the show.”

“Shit.” Jensen instantly feels the blood drain from his face and bile rise in his throat.

“I don’t think Y/N means it though. She’s just overreacting to everything right now.” Jared shrugs taking a much needed sip of his beer.

“We both know that’s not true.” Jensen pinches the bridge of his nose.

“That’s what Y/N does. When shit gets hard…she bails. I wouldn’t be shocked if she already quit. She’s probably at the airport right now, heading to fucking Timbuktu.”

“That’s not fair and you know it.” Jared replies feeling the need to stick up for you.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes I fucking do. She’s my best friend too ya know.” Jared snaps raising his voice.

“Y/N used to be like that. But she’s grown up a lot in the six years we’ve known her.”

Jensen rolls his eyes, silently commanding himself to relax. He’s two seconds away from punching the wall or his best friend, he needs to calm down.

“In her past relationships, whenever things got difficult…she would bounce. Plain and simple.” Jensen argues trying to keep his cool.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Jared…but this is pretty fucking difficult!“

"Considering all the morons she’s dated in the past. I don’t blame her, Jay.” Jared laughs shaking his head.

“Things have always been different between the two of you. You’ve always had a special connection and it’s noticeable to most people. Not everyone realizes it’s because you’re friggin in love with each other but still.”

“Well. Let’s hope it’s not ruined after today.” Jensen mumbles in response on his way out, he reluctantly heads in the direction of his soon to be ex girlfriend. 

It’s been one fucking hour. One hour since you revealed to your best friend that you’re in love him. One hour since you had a mini break down in Jared’s trailer. And one hour since you stormed off, basically telling Jensen and Danneel to both fuck off.

You’re driving around aimlessly, refusing to go home. You know for a fact that Jensen will show up there to find you. The first person that pops in your head is the one you call. If anyone can make you feel better about this, it’s her.

“Gen?”

“Hey, babe. What’s up?” She asks in her usual cheery tone.

“I…um…I’m kinda freaking out.” You admit sniffling through the phone.

“Omg! What happened, Y/N? You sound really upset.”

“It’s a long story but I called Jensen out for having feelings for me and I told him about mine. And then the friggin ice queen showed up and it clearly didn’t get any better. The whole thing is a mess.” You sob pulling over, the amount of tears falling from your fucking eyes is too distracting.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie! Why don’t you come over so we can talk?”

“I can’t. Jensen will know to look there. I’ll have to deal with him eventually but it can’t be today.” You sigh dramatically.

“Just being in the same fucking city as him is giving me heart palpitations.”

“Run home and pack a bag. I’ll pick you up in a half hour, ok?”

“But Jensen…”

“Jay’s still on set. I called Jared 20 minutes ago but he didn’t pickup. He sent a text saying he’s talking to Jensen and will call soon. So you’re good.”

“Fine.” You agree softly.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise!”

“But Gen…”

“Do it! I’ll see you soon, hun.” Gen quickly ends the call before you can refuse. Damn it.

You speed to your house, stuff a chocolate cupcake into your mouth and then stare at your closet. What does one pack when they want to wallow in their awful life choices? Screw it. You throw a bunch of random shit in a bag and head towards the front door. Thankfully your ride shows up sooner than later, you really need to get the hell out of here.

“What’s up, sexy!” Gen grins pulling into your driveway.

“You’re not gonna be this happy the whole time are you?” You whine throwing your bag into the black SUV.

“We’re gonna go get pampered. So yes. And you’ll be happy too.” She says matter of factly.

“Pampered? Where?”

“Fairmont Chateau.”

“That’s almost two hours away in Whistler.” You groan already plotting to jump out at the next red light.

“Exactly. You need to get out of Vancouver. It’s far enough where you can breathe again but close enough where you don’t need a plane!”

“Whatever. As long as there’s alcohol.” You wave her off.

“You’re not getting crazy drunk, Y/N. Obviously we’ll drink but getting smashed will just make you feel worse.”

“Ok, mom.” You mumble staring out the passenger window.

“I think you meant…thank you so much, Gen. You’re such a great friend and I love you.”

“I suck. I’m sorry. You really are awesome. Thank God you’re here visiting Jared, otherwise I’d be so lost.”

“No problem, sweetie. We will figure it out, ok?” She winks with a genuine smile. You nod and give her a fake smile back that makes her chuckle. It’s gonna be a long car ride.

“I knew it, man!” Jensen growls into the phone, staring at your empty house with a pout.

“Are you really that surprised? She knows you well enough, she’s not there on purpose.” Jared replies feeling tired.

“Is she at your place with Gen? She must be.”

“Uhhh no. Nope. Not at my place.”

“Wow. That didn’t sound convincing at all. It’s a good thing you’re not a professional actor or anything.” Jensen scoffs rolling his eyes.

“She’s not. I swear.”

“Ok. You definitely know where though. I can tell.”

“This is a very weird situation for me, man. You’re my best friend but Y/N is too. I’m not sure if I should tell you.” Jared admits pinching the bridge of his nose.

“If this was the other way around, I would tell you. I’d want you to make things right with Gen. I wouldn’t just leave you hanging.”

“Oh, that’s not a guilt trip or anything!” Jared groans feeling his resolve melt away.

“Fine. She’s in Whistler.”

“Whistler?! Y/N doesn’t even ski!”

“There’s more to do than ski, dumb ass. There’s a lot of shops and…other shit. I don’t know. That’s what Gen told me.”

“Where are they staying?” Jensen asks hightailing it down your street.

“I can’t tell you…”

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“Gen said that I ca…”

“Holy shit. You’re whipped. Just tell me, dude.” Jensen demands impatiently.

“It doesn’t matter. Gen wouldn’t tell me the room number.”

“That’s easy. I’ll flirt with the girl at the front desk to get the info.” Jensen says likes it’s obvious.

“What if it’s a guy?”

“Then I’ll make it work. I’m an actor. I can do it. Do you wanna come?”

“Jesus Christ.” Jared mumbles already regretting his decision.

“Whatever, man. It’s nothing I can’t handle. Come or don’t come. I don’t care.”

“Yeah, you got this. You’re not making rash decisions at all.” Jared rolls his eyes at his best friend.

“Padalecki!”

“Alright, alright. Swing by and get me on the way.”

“I’m pretty sure all my problems would be solved if I just lived here.” You exhale feeling surprisingly at ease.

“You wanna live in Whistler?” Gen raises a confused eyebrow.

“No, silly. The spa! If I could get constantly pampered, I think I’d be ok.” You shrug lazily.

“Totally. Fuck everything else.” Gen snickers making you do the same.

“So how about we finish up here and then grab some food?” You suggest, already hearing your stomach grumble.

“Sweet!”

You and Gen finish up your pedicures then head up to your room. She thinks it’s a good idea to dress up and do something fun tonight. You’d rather drink yourself drunk and pass out watching cartoons. But she unfortunately shot down that idea.

You’re trying to distract yourself by putting on eyeliner but it’s futile. Jensen fucking Ackles keeps popping in your head. You almost wish he was here, just so you could punch his lights out.

You hear a loud knock on the room door which is odd. Room service wasn’t ordered and no one knows you’re here. You assume it’s a maid but decide to check just in case.

“What the fuck…” You growl with your eyes wide.

“Genevieve Nicole Cortese Padalecki!”

“What?” You hear her muffled voice from around the corner. You stalk into the bathroom and see her mouth full of toothpaste and a toothbrush.

“I can’t believe you, Gen.” You whine stomping your foot on the ground. She rinses out her mouth and watches as you glare at her in the mirror reflection.

“I am so lost.”  She chuckles turning around, looking adorably confused.

“Dumb and dumber are at the door.”

“Who?”

“Your husband and his stupid best friend!”

“No way!”

“Yup.”

“I didn’t tell them to come I swear.”

“Gen…”

“I told Jared the name of the hotel just in case there’s an emergency. But I purposely left out our room number.”

“For the love of fuck.” You huff, whatever stress the spa got rid of now is back.

“Whoever’s working the front desk is clearly a fan.” Gen sighs looking through the peephole, Jensen knocks on the door again making her jump.

“Y/N!”

“Damn it.” You groan, you’re possibly on your way to a panic attack.

“You tried.” Jared shrugs hoping his friend won’t make a scene.

“What? You think I’m giving up? She has to come out of there sometime. I’ll just wait.” Jensen replies stubbornly glaring at your door.

“Jay…let’s go grab a drink at the bar downstairs. Maybe she’ll come around.”

“I could always just find a way in.” Jensen mumbles to himself, completely ignoring Jared.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ll just find the key. It can’t be that hard.”

“You realize you’re not really Dean,  right?” Jared informs slowly.

“Shut it.”

“This isn’t a TV show, Ackles. A maid won’t magically appear then leave her cart unattended, it conveniently having the right key on it.”

“Maybe if I try a credit card?”

“Holy shit.” Jared mutters running his hands through his hair.

“I’m actually starting to get worried about you. I hate to say it but maybe we should go home. Give Y/N some space and go from there.”

“No.” Jensen answers dangerously calm.

“So instead of approaching this rationally, you’d rather just stalk her.”

“I just need to see her. Even if it’s for five minutes.”

Jared opens his mouth to respond but he’s interrupted when Gen sends him a text. He glances at it quickly but not quick enough, Jensen grabs it from his hand.

Y/N won’t come out. She’s pissed.

“Well, I’m fucking ecstatic!” Jensen shouts in response at the locked door.

“It’s good to see you’re not losing it, dude.” Jared cracks up ignoring his best friend’s dirty look.

“Let me text, Y/N. She might let me in.”

“What about me?” Jensen pouts pathetically.

“Baby steps.” Jared assures patting him on the back before he presses send.

“Anything?” Jensen wonders trying to look at the phone.

“I literally just sent it two seconds ago.”

“She’s a fast typer.” Jensen mumbles now pacing up and down the hall. Without warning, you swing open the door making Jared hesitate because of the angry look in your eye.

“No.” You hold out your hand stopping Jared who’s trying to walk in.

“Not you. Send the other dumb ass in here.” You sigh giving Gen a weak smile as she leaves.

Jensen hears all of this but he has yet to enter the room. Now that he’s able to, he’s not sure if going in alone is a great idea.

“Good luck, man.” Jared whispers before moving down the hall with Gen.

You watch Jensen slowly walk in and look around, it’s like he expects something to jump out at him. Weirdo.

“You couldn’t have just given me one day, huh? To deal with this.” You snap crossing your arms over your chest.

“I…I guess not?” He replies appearing extremely uncomfortable.

“Cool. Glad we cleared that up.” You roll your eyes.

“I feel like a total dipshit right now.” Jensen grumbles to himself but still loud enough for you to hear.

“Good.”

“You’re really mad I came, huh.”

“Gen brought me here to relax. It’s kinda hard to do that, when the person I want a break from is fucking standing in front of me!” You practically shout debating on what to do next.

“I get it. I do. I mean…if I knew you’d be back at work then maybe I wouldn’t be so freaked out but…”

“Huh?”

“You told Jared that you’re quitting. Maybe you already did.” He shrugs sadly.

“Please.” You scoff loudly.

“I was just upset when I said that. I’ve worked hard to get the type of job I have and I’m fucking good at it. I’m not ruining my career over a stupid guy.” You reply refusing to make eye contact.

“Thank god.” Jensen lets out a sigh of relief dragging a hand down his face.You need to shut this down. He needs to leave now. There is not enough alcohol in your system to deal with this man.

You’re dreading his next words because you know what they’re going to be. There’s no way he’s going to throw away a six year relationship for you. It doesn’t matter if Jensen has feelings, he would have broken up with Danneel a long time ago if it mattered.

“I broke up with Danneel.” Jensen blurts out catching you off guard.

“What?”

“Yeah. Soon after you left. Well, I talked to Jared first then I did it. Of course it didn’t go over well but I didn’t expect it to.” He rambles on barely glancing at you.

“Whatever. The point is that we’re officially over.” Jensen bites his bottom lip nervously waiting for a reaction.

“Congrats.” You deadpan trying to stay in control.

“I’m trying here, Y/N. I really am. Please just drop the attitude and talk to me.”

“I have nothing to say.” You answer quietly.

“Fine. Then just listen.” Jensen pleads grabbing your hand, pulling you to sit down next to him on the couch.

“I love you. Always have and always will.” You wait for Jensen to continue on but instead he just gives you a panty dropping smile.

“Is there more?” You quirk an eyebrow.

“Nope. That’s it.” He smirks knowingly.

“Oh.”

“Oh? That’s all you have to say?” Jensen teases you.

“Well…when you said to listen, I assumed you had more to say.”

“I do, Y/N. But none of it is important right now. I love you and you love me. We’ve wasted too much time as it is…don’t you think?” He asks searching your face.

“So you want to just forget all the drama and be together?” You say skeptically.

“Yes! Why the hell not? We can do whatever we want, beautiful.”

“It’s really over with what’s her face?” You scrunch up your nose dramatically just thinking of her.

“Completely and totally fucking done. From now on, it’s just you and me…unless we decide to procreate.” Jensen starts cracking up.

“You think that’s funny?!” You laugh slapping his chest.

“I think the look on Danneel’s face when you said that was hilarious. She was so offended. It was great.” He chuckles pulling you on to his lap.

“I’m glad I amused you, dork.” You giggle shaking your head.

"I’m waiting ya know.” You stare into his eyes confused until it dawns on you. You really are a dope sometimes.

“I love you, Jay.” You sigh happily before crashing your lips into his. He pulls away too soon, resting his forehead on yours.

“I love you too, baby. Always and forever.”

~

[blurrybenzoboy]

cw talk of EDNOS/fucked body image then like idek general suicidal thoughts and socital collapse Lol cannot figure out read more soz but legit this blog is 5 years ago who follows it  .... eurgh just tried jeans on that were tight af in January expecting them to not fit at all but they were slightly lose which seemed really dramatic. It’s not it’s just.. idk if shit will ever change in my head, fat is like a state of mind not a tangiblelook/tangible measurement of size.. and that doesn’t have to be the worst omg I'd rather die than struggle with this forever type feeling at all like..but.. the fuck is the point legit know tangible measurements numbers blah blah fuck off but I know and now am starting to question if regardless that information even means shit, what if the scale is legitimately a significant amount just off/broken... what if my fucking jeans can lie to me.. ok lol I wrote the jeans bit and yeah that’s ridiculous, this is ridiculous, just does it matter in a sense of im finding elaborate excuses to not eat cus I can’t go ‘well I’m a fat prick I’m not gonna starve to death’ every single time eventually I challenge it and I don’t wanna I just wanna...... not be fat lol but I don’t think it matters even if I changed size for whatever the fuck is ‘the better’ I guess my head just wants me to be smaller and like lol ok ye not saying I am healthy but I wouldn’t be at what is define by multiple different health standards (tried to find better than bmi and it just seemed wildly off for gender differences, where tf do I go with that when I’m trans, ‘at 6 months on t u can consume a single unit more alcohol and the male calorie reccomendation’ doesn’t help at all god even as it’s own thing its bs ffs. But ye just feels like I’ll always have shit body image and that’s like... well this possibly not brilliant behaviour won’t intrinsically change what it wants to anyway so why fucking bother but I can’t be bother with this anymore like urghhhhh fuck off cannot find how to do ‘read more’ do excuse me in my geriatric state of 27 if you accidentally stumbled across it or know me or god idek. lol (that’s what early 20s me thought of 27 I guess I intended to kms at 27 so relatively god how ancient xoxo like on my birthday I just...stopped caring about late 20s being older... only so many years u can pass past 21 and be like I’ve not made it yet shit shit shit I am running outta time... I’m not gonna make it however I wanted to I’m not gonna make much more of myself than this lol or at least doesn’t feel possible anymore.. society is falling apart, life is bullshit, there’s a pandemic, I’m legit just getting mentally more distressed just in different ways as I age yeet man don’t wanna wait this out too long... I wish I could just end it for the 27 club as a vacuous reason alone but I can’t lol guess I just gotta wait round for death and societal collapse, god can’t wait for things to get even more fucking dire, how much better can they realistically get like enough to work as much as other people but that’s l I t e r a l l y insane shouldn’t take 10 years give or take on disability benefits to see how not right or normal that is but here we are, thinking people deserve human rights is ‘alt left’ and some wild radical concept............. I just can’t be fucked then man I give up, go think that, go enjoy being evil like the bullshit government wow money so important but somehow not even enough, also need power so we can kill people who aren’t us.......chill whatever but I want out of this bs.  Guess I’ll google read more since this is long I am as unhinged as I sound cannot make it sound nicer so others aren’t like lol bye u low life... good Jesus Christ if your gonna think that fuck off then. So I started out to be like im a fat prick n its a mental thing I doubt will ever change and here we are right at I cannot be arsed to live in this society anymore but I can’t kill myself that’d be unfair on other hour her better keep myself alive just incase they want me for some bs reason I can probably no longer fulfil anymore lol.  I’ve written the ED (feels dumb af being this legitimately overweight and saying I have an ED but yeah guess it is or something guess bigger people shouldn’t be expected to feel like this by default, but yeah the ED part the least triggering I possibly can will avoid tags don’t want people accidentally finding this. Doubt long posts receive the unwanted attention my most reblogged post that was a thought not intended to be fucking reblogged like it’s glamorous or logical or good or cool or edgy or anything other than a rubbish self destructive thought I had...that at over 200 notes no longer isn’t just glamorising opiate addiction and suicide but hey that’s, Tumblr innit no porn anymore just stripped back to the human suffering it’s always been full of or pictures of...ominous windows recently lmao u do u yeet done talking.

[aislesalmon]

In honor of season 4 being announced, have some Eight Precepts of Death headcanons that are probably dead wrong lmao

Deidoro: -He's actually insanely fucking smart. He was originally going to become a doctor; the stress of med school was what led him to start drinking. He became addicted, and it completely destroyed his life. He failed out of med school, his parents (whose high expectations of him didn't help his stress any) cut ties with him, and he couldn't hold down a steady job (having low-paying jobs when he could have been a doctor worsened his mental state, leading him to drink even more in a vicious cycle) and he ended up on the streets, stealing to survive and keep drinking. One day he stole from Toya, who stole back, but Deidoro was bale to use his quirk to steal again and get away. Toya reported back to Overhaul, who, impressed, tracked down and recruited Deidoro. -He joined Overhaul because he was swayed by his words of "curing the sick" - he views it as his last chance of fulfilling his dream of being a doctor who helps people. -He very quickly saw that what Overhaul was doing was wrong and far from helping or curing anyone, but he just drank more to forget it and kept working under him. -He isolated himself from the other Expendables, because he believes he is worse than them. While they were harmed by other people, which ruined their lives, he blames himself for not being able to handle the stress and becoming addicted to alcohol. He believes that they aren't worthless, but he is. -His quirk isn't just making people feel drunk - it's projecting his feelings onto those around him. He hoped to use it in his medical career, to relieve pain, induce calmness in patients and, if possible, project some of his health onto them, at least temporarily, if only just to keep people alive long enough to try and save them. We see it as him making everyone feel drunk because, well, he's always drunk when we see him. -His relationship with Shin is... complicated, to say the least. -He used to get mad when people thought him stupid, saying that his drunkenness didn't make him less intelligent, arguing that he used to be in med school. One day Overhaul overheard and asked, "Used to?" and that was the end of that. Now he's just internalized it, believing himself to be stupid after all. (Just imagine him doing Sayaka Miki's "I was stupid... so stupid" thing and that's how self-loathing and tragic this character is)

Tabe: -Is his first name Tabe or Soramitsu? I have no idea. This isn't a headcanon, I genuinely have no idea. -His mother was young and he was her first kid, while his father was much older and had a few kids from a previous marriage - all adults and moved out. These siblings don't know about him; his parents were always careful to hide him away whenever company came over due to how ashamed they were of him. -Holy shit child abuse. I hate to harken back to PMMM again, but I honestly picture a Sana Futaba situation with him, where his parents genuinely despised him and at first verbally abused him, then straight up ignored him and only left meals at his door. Finally, they kicked him out of the house and then abruptly moved away, and he has no idea where they are now. -Immune to diabetes, and probably a lot of other food-related conditions. Not that anyone ever cared to check. -Someone please give this man a hug and a lot of cookies

Toya: -I like @latrociniium's idea that he cut ties with his parents after his awful girlfriend cost him everything, because he felt guilty that he ignored their warnings and thought they must hate him. -They don't. They still love him and know about his arrest, and have tried to get in contact with him numerous times since then. He always turns them down out of shame, but they think he's mad at them for perceived failing as parents. They're worried sick and miss him terribly. -Jesus Christ you emo twink bird please talk to your fucking parents

Hari: -In love with Overhorse. 100%. Like that's absolutely why he follows him with such fanatic, unfailing loyalty. -If there's anyone in this world that Kai "Overhaul" Chewbacca truly cares for, it's him. -That being said, Kai isn't emotionally capable of returning Hari's feelings, at least to the same extent that Hari feels them. -Hates attention; perfectly content working in Kai's shadow. -I love the idea that after all the bullshit goes down, Hari and Shin overcome their jealousy of each other getting Kai's attention, and dump Kai "Uhaul" Chisaki to run off with each other instead. What's that image series of the two girls fighting over a guy while he tries to decide which one he wants, and then while he's deciding they ditch him and get together instead? Like that.

Shin: -Walking disaster holy fuck -I don't have many headcanons about his past; I kind of like it as a mystery. -"Emotions aren't required for an efficient mission", my ass. He's an emotional mess. That line is probably something Kai "Overhaul" El Chupacabra told him after one of his many emotional breakdowns. He's almost as bad as Toya with dumping his emotions on people without any prompting. Whiny as hell. -Honestly, I think of Shiapouf from HxH with regards to Shin. Guy with an overinflated sense of self-importance who tries to present himself as (and may honestly believe himself to be) the most rational of his group, but is actually super unstable and controlled by his emotions (also the whole yknow obsessive loyalty to an authority figure thing). -Kai, Hari, Toya and Shin make the Twink Squad.

Hekiji: -LOVELY MAN -Honestly I can't think of anything not included in @shaheii's portrayal. Just. Everything about that blog is absolutely perfect.

Kendou: -Again, can't think of anything else but @berserker-buzzard. A+, spot-on, flawless portrayal.

Joi: -JOI MY BELOVED. He might actually be my favorite out of the birds, which is saying something, because I love ALL the birds (except maybe Overrated - I mean Overhaul, oops). -Yet again, a specific rp blog dominates my headcanons - this time it's @carrionfeigned. Stay awesome.

Hojo: -I don't know much about this dude, but I love him and I want to know more! -I'm torn between thinking of him as a super quiet, aloof guy who fits his appearance, or a really unexpectedly goofy and/or sensitive dude who defies expectations. -Help him too. He needs it.

Rikiya: -Chaotic horny -That being said, sometimes he genuinely doesn't realize how creepy his words can be. Be patient with him. He's dumb. -What's with the Mexican wrestler mask. What's with his tiny head. Does his head even exist? How? That mask is so tiny. What the fuck

Kai: -Sociopath. That's it. He's an abusive sociopath and there's not much more to say. He grew up, after whatever the hell put him on the streets as a kid, with unending love and support from his adopted father, and still has no empathy, and desires to use others for his own purposes. -He doesn't actually love his adopted father. He thinks he does, but in reality, he feels that he owes his adopted father for taking him in, and wants to be even so he doesn't have to feel inferior to him anymore. I... don't really think Kai has the emotional capacity to truly love anyone, to be totally honest.

Old mafia boss: -I don't know if this contradicts canon, but he's alive, albeit in critical condition due to Kai putting him in a coma. That being said, the hospital he was taken to managed to undo Kai's work, and he eventually woke up. He's got a lot to say to Kai about deliberately disobeying his orders, disrespecting his wishes, and completely and utterly ruining his mafia, all while pretending it was in his name/what he would have wanted.

[accreditedtrash]

About Me

- ready, set, go!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My boyfriend 2. Are you outgoing or shy? Most people think I am shy, but I can be wildly outgoing in the right circumstances. 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My brother/friend 4. Are you easy to get along with? Depends 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Yeah 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? I have only ever been attracted to one person, so that kind of person. 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Yes 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Right now? I’m watching Jesus Christ Superstar so I guess Ted Neeley. 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nope 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? The friend/brother mentioned previously. 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “There are tons of ABC’s of death, link me the right one.” 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Again, I’m watching Jesus Christ Superstar so right now these songs are my favorite. 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yes 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I believe that anything can statistically happen, I don’t hold out waiting for that though. 15. What good thing happened this summer? I had the coolest first job on the planet. 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I would and I will 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Ones that we don’t know about, yeah probably. 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Almost daily, I’m dating them. 19. Do you like bubble baths? More than I care to admit. 20. Do you like your neighbors? The satanic whispering demons over the fence? No, not really. 21. What are you bad habits? Being a trainwreck of a human being most days. 22. Where would you like to travel? Everywhere. 23. Do you have trust issues? Bitch, I redefined trust issues to a new level. I’m working on it though. 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Uhm…..showering I guess? 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? I’d probably have to say my thighs. 26. What do you do when you wake up? Open my eyes. 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? This seems like a touchy question, so let’s just say I’d love to not get sunburns to the level I do. 28. Who are you most comfortable around? My boyfriend and brother/friend person. 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Don’t have an ex 30. Do you ever want to get married? Idfk 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? ….. 33. Spell your name with your chin. What? 34. Do you play sports? What sports? Hahahahaha 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? For like two fucking years, then I fixed that. 37. What do you say during awkward silences? Generally something awful 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Again, I’ve only ever really been into one person. 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? This really crazy antique store 40. What do you want to do after high school? Travel some, and move into a place with some friends. Then college and life. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? No, it depends. 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? That I experienced insane sensory overload and am trying not to die or cry. 43. Do you smile at strangers? Never paid attention? 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Neither. Those are both deadly nightmare places. 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? The fact that it’s what one has to do. 46. What are you paranoid about? Depends on where I am and if I’m high or not. 47. Have you ever been high? See above. Yes. 48. Have you ever been drunk? Noooo, can’t even be in the same room as alcohol, the smell kills me.   49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Nope 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Brown 51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My entire health history, both physical and mental. 53. Favourite makeup brand? Fun fact, I’ve never worn makeup. 54. Favourite store? Didn’t we already ask this? 55. Favourite blog? Vulture-Kitty 56. Favourite colour? Army green 57. Favourite food? Any type of steak or ribs. 58. Last thing you ate? I need to eat today still, yesterday was a plain cheese quesadilla. 59. First thing you ate this morning? Refer to last question. 60. Ever won a competition? For what? Front Range Birding Photography 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Suspended for I think three days once in fourth grade, a bully I was rather scared of convinced me to steal from a book fair. 62. Been arrested? For what? Nope. 63. Ever been in love? Yep 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? Haha not doing that. 65. Are you hungry right now? No 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I do not have any tumblr-only friends. 67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook 68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr 69. Are you watching tv right now? Yes 70. Names of your bestfriends? Danny, Connor, Cinder 71. Craving something? What? No 72. What colour are your towels? White 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? One 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Depends 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? There are maybe up to 15 in a basket in my closet and 5 scattered through my room. 75. Favourite animal? Red fox 76. What colour is your underwear? Right now? Purple 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate 78. Favourite ice cream flavour?  Pistachio 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Army green 80. What colour pants? Blue jeans 81. Favourite tv show? Firefly 82. Favourite movie? Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Never seen  84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Never seen 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Oh my god 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Gill 87. First person you talked to today? My mom 88. Last person you talked to today? She’s the only person I’ve talked to today. 89. Name a person you hate? Their name doesn’t need to be acknowledged. 90. Name a person you love? Connor. Danny. 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Well only now that you reminded me of the one person I hate. 92. In a fight with someone? Nope 93. How many sweatpants do you have? Two 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Too many 95. Last movie you watched? Again, I’m watching one right now. 96. Favourite actress? Katheryn Winnick 97. Favourite actor? Woody Harrelson 98. Do you tan a lot? No. Just burn like sticks drenched in gasoline. 99. Have any pets? Two dogs 100. How are you feeling? Pretty okay 101. Do you type fast? Oh yeah 102. Do you regret anything from your past? Of course 103. Can you spell well? Decently 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? No 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I don’t think so 107. Have you ever been on a horse? A few times, but I worked with horses for a couple years. People called me a horse whisperer at times even. 108. What should you be doing? Getting ready for an appointment 109. Is something irritating you right now? No 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Oh yeah 111. Do you have trust issues? Already answered this, yes. 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I think Chester was in the room 113. What was your childhood nickname? Fox 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes 115. Do you play the Wii? I used to 116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? No 118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes but I can almost never eat it 119. Favourite book? Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon 120. Are you afraid of the dark? Not usually 121. Are you mean? Sometimes 122. Is cheating ever okay? NO. And unforgivable. 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Hahahaha no 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes and no? 125. Do you believe in true love? Correction: Tru Wuv (Princess Bride Reference. One person who may be reading this should feel personally called out for being garbage by never seeing that movie, you know who you are.) 126. Are you currently bored? Nah 127. What makes you happy? Being with certain people 128. Would you change your name? I did 129. What your zodiac sign? Pices 130. Do you like subway? No 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Normally I’d end up crushing them I think, but I’m in a relationship right now from that exact thing happening. 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? You’re repeating questions 133. Favourite lyrics right now? The entire song of “The Light” by Disturbed 134. Can you count to one million? I’m sure I could if I tried but fuck that 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? Oh geez, I know there have been some hilariously bad ones but I can’t remember 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed 137. How tall are you? 5’6” 138. Curly or Straight hair? My hair?  A sad puffy blob 139. Brunette or Blonde? My hair? Blonde 140. Summer or Winter? Winter 141. Night or Day? Afternoon 142. Favourite month? Idk 143. Are you a vegetarian? Could never survive that 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk 145. Tea or Coffee? Tea 146. Was today a good day? So far 147. Mars or Snickers? Neither 148. What’s your favorite quote? “Every day you don’t murder someone in cold blood is an accomplishment.” 149. Do you believe in ghosts? I’m undecided 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “As he drew the blade down the deer’s stomach he said, “I’m going to give you a dream, Samson.”