#insane tho because they are both alone and lonely and they both have been alone and lonely their entire existences except when

[tenderjock]

ALONE, adj. 1. being apart from others; 2. being without anyone or anything else; 3. considered separately from all others of the same class.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer s06e03 "After Life" / [CARNAGE] by Gabrielle Joy Lessans / Friend by Kiki Smith / Girl and Death by Edvard Munch / Fist and Palm by Carl Phillips / The Wanderer by unknown, translated by Roy M. Liuzza

[hornydilfsinyourarea]

Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter x Yandere! Male! User

Author's note: Took me a while to make, sorry guys, I made two endings because why the fuck not, the bots are in the same setting, just different out comes and point of views, the Will bot is more focused on you kinda, and the Hannibal bot is more focused on what Hannibal felt through it (there is also a scene where you find out what Hannibal actually said to Will if you look at the Hannibal bot), I was also listening to 'Red Sex' by Vessel while writing both bots- there are a lot of trigger warnings in both bots, so be warned. This is pretty long.

(Will Graham) Scenario: "You… never felt seen, not even once in your life, the kid with eye bags under their eyes, who looked both sad and empty at the same time, quieter than the quiet kid themself, barely even speaking- some didn't even know if you could. After completing high school, and nearly a decade of therapy, you questioned why you even bothered with everything, there was nothing wrong with you. You have seen many therapists, none never saw you… you were sitting in the waiting room for Hannibal- he offered to hold therapy sessions for you, you came early though- While you were looking down, thinking about canceling the session maybe- you suddenly saw too feet come into your view, making you look up- and then… you felt your world stop when you saw him" (Hannibal Lecter) Scenario: "Hannibal saw you, he really did- how could he not? When he heard about you from a colleague, he knew he had to have you as his patient. A poor lonely child… never once feeling seen in their life- with one parent in jail while the other hanged themself, truly tragic, you didn't look like you wanted to die, that much was clear to Hannibal, but he could see… that was a route you were willing to take. Having been alone since you were sixteen, went to a boarding school, no other family left, went to different therapists for almost 10 years, you were getting tired of it, he could see, it was why he was so… fascinated with you, he's surprised you haven't turned out insane after everything- but Hannibal thought too soon, he saw the way you looked at Will Graham, another client of his, the way you barely spoke to him, looking off to the side… a lovesick expression on your face. It saddens Hannibal, why waste your time with someone who only talked to you once? While he was there, trying to make you see that he saw you first, it confused Hannibal. Hannibal even once caught you taking a picture of Will- what else were you doing? Something had changed in you that day you met Will." Warning: NSFW in both, stalking, breaking and entering (implied, but not actually mentioned, I mean, how else did you get inside of Will's house?), taking non-consensual photo/s (nothing sexual- well, depends on you, if you want to be that creepy), User is a Yandere but is written to be more fucked up in the head because of mental illnesses (like Joe Goldberg), User is written to be both possessive and obsessive, user is kind of written to be around mid or late twenties (or 30's, depends on you, user is just not younger than mid or late twenties, that's all), Accidental love confession (Will bot, user receiving), kidnapping (willingly though, Will bot), Hannibal is strangely supportive of your behavior (He even praises you, such a sweet guy), praise kink (Hannibal bot, user receiving), ridning (Hannibal bot), Hannibal dies in the Will bot, but Will dies in the Hannibal bot (You can pick which one you end up with, unfortunately you can't end up with both... yet), Hannibal might just take advantage of your possessiveness and eagerness (like subtly telling you about someone he hates, basically manipulating you into thinking they need to die), Soft/Gentle! Dom! Hannibal? (He still a bottom tho, so is Will), user is written in a style that they are socially awkward (or have social anxiety) and have attachment issues (meaning they can easily attach themself to someone who shows them basic affection, like what Will did), I think this is all, please do tell me if I missed a warning- Please remember I do NOT condone in this kind of behavior nor the acts done in these bots

Who do you think sees you?

Will- "I see you" Hannibal- "He never saw you, did he?"

^link to bot^ ^link to bot^

[tamelee]

Just a little rant about HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE NARUTO FANBOYS OH MY GAAWWWDDDD besides the obvious reasons (homophobia, misogyny, incels) they worship the shit outta the worse characters ever like Shikamaru and Itachi and Hinata. Like I just saw on the Naruto Reddit (my fault, I know, but I searched something up about Naruto and the first link discussing that was Reddit) and they all used that stupid dumbass filler where Shikamaru was asking his dad about Naruto and why everyone hates him and how he doesn't hate him (even tho in CANON he did 😤) and they all said not only is he a better friend to Naruto than Sasuke ever was but (here we go again) Sasuke's more of a brother 🙄 and they also said Sasuke treated Naruto like trash and was the worst friend 🤦🏻‍♀️ like it's so insane to me the dudebros lack of brain and reading comprehension. Like how do you as a grown ass man not know the difference between what's actually real and what's not about what you're watching? Or maybe it's that they just hate Sasuke so much and how much Naruto loves him and keeps talking about him and how he's his best friend in canon (he said it way too much for me to believe that even these ugly incels couldn't understand) that they'd rather give the credit to someone else that isn't a threat and doesn't make Naruto act borderline homosexual. Oh and they obviously ignore Shikamaru's blatant misogyny and still consider him the best thing ever because why would they care 🙄 anyway end rant, sorry. I just hate this fandom 😭 I stay on my side of things mostly (well, other than this one time. But when I do I just rant about it to someone and move on)

Ah yeah it’s frustrating isn’t it? 

I think it’s obvious if you’ve read the Manga. I wonder if they’ve only seen the Anime and just don’t bother checking what is canon first. So much is changed from Kishimoto’s original. (Has anyone seen that twt discussion on filler? I’d love to read your opinions on it.) 

I mean, Hinata’s supposed backstory with Naruto is just ridiculous, but I don’t understand why people think Naruto was friends with any of them? Even if it’s shown in filler that Naruto was around them or they asked their parents about Naruto... what makes fans say they were friends? 

Sasuke was the only one who acknowledged Naruto with a smile and they weren't even friends until much later.

Right before the exams, Shikamaru tells team 7 not to die. Not because he’s worried for them, but because he believes they’re not capable, largely because of his lack of faith in Naruto. While Naruto calls them idiots and insults both Shikamaru and Hinata as he introduces them to the reader. 

'A big mouth idiot' and a 'weirdo' (I believe he actually also called her creepy but I can't find the translation, but remember when Kushina told Naruto not to go for a weird girl? She used the same words xD) And then Shikamaru immediately wanted to target Naruto in the forest of death.

Had either of them at any point been friendly to Naruto or whatever, then we would’ve known here and Naruto wouldn’t have insulted them like he did (as is his right) because he craved a connection more than anything. It’s ridiculous how the Anime at times just blatantly ignores the lonely misery Naruto had to grow up in (ALONE) in favor of these other characters. As if sugarcoating that would make any of them look less bad. And don't get me started on Hinata during that written test because it's no wonder Naruto got so confused and didn't trust her "kindness".

Regardless, I think a lot of Naruto-fans who tend to glorify any of these friendships and extending it for what it is largely do so because they side with a narrative regarding the system and don't get why Sasuke (and others) challenged it in the first place. Brushing it off like it was some evil, selfish thing. I personally like Shikamaru's development and who he is as a character in the end because him showing change might've been very helpful in actually changing the system had they worked towards that. But you know... we'll never know.

[severevoiddragon]

Some thoughts about my Minecraft world's lore / aka: me rambling about worldbuilding into the aether (note: this is the lore for my MC YouTube series, the channels called PixPickle if you wanna see, but this is NOT my headcanon for all worlds. Purely mine.)

Hidden under a read more so this Long Post does not take up Too Much Space

The Overworld is not a peaceful, idyllic, safe place to live. This is obvious because of the monsters and the lava on the surface and the water that can kill you. However, it is the most hospitable place for Players, Passive and Friendly Creatures and Villagers.

There is a distinction between Players and Villagers, not just because Villagers are AI. Villagers are humans, people who live in, well, a village. Players are more shapeshifters, with more advanced thinking. This is an Idea I'm fleshing out still so if you're reading this and have ideas lmk!

Zombies and Zombie Villagers are also different species. Zombies are, and always have been, zombies. Zombie Villagers are villagers turned zombie (wow, who'd have thought!) (Such an original idea ik don't murder me I'm making a semi comprehensive list)

Ancient cities and Nether Portals. Oooh this is Fun. So in my world, c!Pixie (my character) is alone, a lone Player. But there are shipwrecks, ruined nether Portals, buried treasure, and the Ancient Cities. Plus, there are Explorer's Guides. Any other book written is by the Villagers, but not the Explorer's Guides. The Ancient Cities used to be filled with Players. They built... Everything. So why are they gone?

The Explorer's Guides are still relevant, as the world hasn't changed much. The mechanics of the world haven't, at least. Ancient Cities didn't used to be underground, and the skulk really hadn't invaded so much.

Onto my favourite bit of worldbuilding so far, The Nether. The portals aren't safe methods of transport, they're tears in reality. The larger a portal is, the more unstable it is (yes, this includes the weird portal in the ancient city). The larger a Nether portal, the more Nether creeps in. This only works for activated portals.

The Nether wasn't always red and corrupted. But, as time wore on, it became hostile to people from the Overworld, with Insane temperatures, both hot and cold (only in Soul Valleys). Likewise, the atmosphere is so different that the Overworld is hostile to Nether creatures.

I've made another post on most of my Nether worldbuilding and if I find it I'll add a link here: Nether

Wither Skeletons are corrupted skellies, and Piglins & Hoglins are mutated pigs, with Piglins evolving first. Magma are slimes adapting to the hot environment, while blazes and ghasts evolved naturally.

Endermen. They are the only creature who can safely inhabit all 3 dimensions. (Second place is skellies who can safely inhabit 2 dimensions!). I dunno what to do about endermen lore-wise so. That's all for now.

The End!!! Strongholds were made by the Old Players in order to access the End dimension. Some people decided to move to the end, and created the Giant Cities and Boats. They evolved to be able to inhabit the End, but now they're gone and only the shulkers remain :( (shulkers evolved naturally, and were there before the End Players, only recently moved into the empty cities tho)

The dragon was an egg left to hatch in order to guard the End. Had the Old Players (inc. End Players) not disappeared, the Dragon would have been tamed to guard the End on their behalf.

C!Pixie has a basic knowledge of how things work, she's just stumbling around this crazy world they've found herself in. They're not really sure how she got here too, and neither am I (hope this helps)

Skulk!!! Is like the Nether!!! Both are corruption!!! Fun!!!

Except Skulk infects internally, so you don't notice it's infected until you cut it open and oh god it's dead, while Nether corruption is Very Visible on the outside (skulk blocks visible show Very Corrupted skulk things)

I haven't even got on to the topic of Wardens or Withers huh.

Wardens are skulk-corrupted Advanced Iron Golems. How much was the Old Players experimenting with Iron Golems to make a Very Powerful security system, and how much was the skulk? Ig we'll never know.

Soul sand. Skulk having souls in them. Those souls in the shriekers. All the same thing yep.

The Wither!!! I have no thoughts so come back to me later.

That's all I can think of for now, if you're reading this far please let me know because I'd be interested to hear your thoughts!!!

[sepyana]

Jjba Stardust Crusaders Ep. 45 - FINALE Thoughts

God. Fuck.

Under the cut.

Ep. 45

This is the least insane episode of the four we have.

So, the episode starts with Polnareff and Dio. The whole sequence is just Dio toying with him. He could have killed him 100 times over. Dio's ego is actively making things harder for himself.

I love the crew bring absolutely horrified and jumping out of the window. The sun is setting so they don't have much time.

Joseph's plan of hiding till dawn makes sense to me. Polnareff and Kakyoin object though, I get why. They both have been used by Dio, Polnareff saw Advol and Iggy get murdered in front of him.

The group splits in two, though we end up mostly focusing on Kakyoin and Joseph. The chase sequence is nice. All the info they get is about the physical stand, unfortunately.

Ep. 46

Kakyoin has a plan to find out Dio's ability.

The episode starts with with a childhood flashback and yeah... I pretty much accepted he was gonna die at this point. You know how it is with jjba.

Really interesting flashback. It confirms me saying he was a lonely kid as true. He feels alone because no one can see Hierophant Green. "How can they understand me if they cant even see the real me." He thinks of his stand as a part of him from a young age. A stand is a part of one's soul. In a way, his stand is the reason why he feels so alone but also his companion. I was under the impression having a stand was something that runs in the family. I thought at least his family could understand but we never learn if that was the case (most likely not). Also, how rare is a stand anyway? 2%, 0.01%? Makes you think.

Our crew were people with stands, I imagine this was the first time he could connect with people.

Kakyoin's plan is to make Hierophant invisible, surround the area with tendrils to hopefully detect Dio's stand. It goes so horribly wrong.

This entire section is me talking about Kakyoin's death and it's so long. just skip it if you don't wanna hear all that. I had fun puking my thoughts straight into paper (keyboard?? Screen?) tho.

There is heroic and everything and then in a split second Kakyoin crashes to a water dam nearby with half of his stomach gone. Not showing the World at first was a great choice imo. Just shows how horrifying this stand is to our characters.

This scene is fucking heartbreaking. He has pretty much accepted he was gonna die, thinking about his family. He uses his last breath to help the Joestars. Despite being a crybaby, I don't cry watching tv shows all that much. This one got me tho, I'm getting really sad just writing.

When you kill of a character you destroy any potential plots and writing you can have with them in the future for one single gut punch (sorry). When you are writing it's measuring a characters potential vs the impact of their death.

I can't say if he would fit well into later parts because I haven't watched them yet. What I can say is, Kakyoin got what he wanted, friends. He is still not mature yet, he is 17 for fucks sake, but him finding friends for once and not feeling lonely anymore was his main storyline.

I can understand why he was killed. I do this was a good choice for his character, compared to making him an minor side character for the later parts. His death is done really well. Only thing I would change is the music. It's a bit corny imo.

And you can't deny his death wasn't in vain. There was no way in hell's chance Jotaro would have beaten Dio otherwise. He plays a huge part in Dio's demise. They could have gone for a a vain death, Kakyoin is the closest we have to an heroic archetype. They could have gone for a tragic death instead because of this. I'm glad they didn't. It's not like unfair deaths couldn't be done well (They could be even better than the standard sacrifice when done well), it's just that I'm tired of seeing heroic characters die unfairly all the time nowadays.

I personally am a big fan characters who had their character arc already be a part of later parts as a supporting character. Either having a different storyline or being a source of stability. I was hoping Kak would have that instead but Jotaro fills that quota better than he does. You could have both as a duo if you felt like it though.

All of this is also why I didn't like Advol's death all that much. At least that's why I think I don't like it. I like Advol almost as much as Kakyoin but his death left me frustrated more than anything. His character was underutilized here, so killing him off seems bizarre to me. He still has a lot of potential.

His death is done so much worse too. No time to grieve, no one outside of Polnareff mentions him. He dies really early into the episode too. We don't even get to hear his thoughts like we do with Kak. He just sacrifices himself for Polnareff, again. That's not a great send off for a character. Polnareff being saved by others was established multiple times. Literary every Crusader has saved him at some point. Iggy sacrifices himself for him later too. So, I have to ask, what's the point of killing Advol then 💀?? I don't understand and I would love to read people's opinions on this when I get the chance.

Okay death talk over.

Oh yeah, there was the rest of the episode.

Joseph also fucking dies but not really. Before he dies he reminds us hamon exists for a second. Makes sure to tell Jotaro Kakyoin's find.

I would like to point out how Dio kills the cat for shits and giggles. This is such a huge contrast to Kars that it's cracking me up.

Love that Jotaro gets more and more pissed off every time Dio spurts out someone's name.

The episode ends with the meme. I thought the meme would hamper my enjoyment but the Jotaro vs Dio is just kinda silly like that. I found it pretty funny personally. Not sure if that was the intended vibe.

Ep. 47

Dio opening?? Di o opneing? das so cooll

I've been replaying the za warudo sound effect for an hour now someone help me

Here comes the big plot twist, Dio and Jotaro have the SAME STAND. I love this reveal, I'll be honest. My one complaint would be that it could have been better if it was lightly hinted before. Otherwise though, I love it when characters realize their actual power. I also love characters with time powers and I already like Jotaro a lot, I fully support this.

It was so satisfying seeing Jotaro trick Dio and punch thru his stomach. Get karma'd shithead.

Oh, Polnareff. I forgot he was here.

I love the shot of Dio just zapping to Jotaro when he sees him move. Some looney toon ass bit.

Using Star Platinum to stop his own heartbeat was definitely one of the boldest things he has done.

Zero context gif

And then. And then just as he was about to die he sucks away Joseph's blood to revive himself. And that gives him a just awful hairdo.

I have no idea what they were going for with this. He is so ugly holy shit. Kill him with fire.

Ep. 48

It's mostly the same stuff as episode 47. The steamroller was pretty funny.

"You've done one mistake, Dio. You pissed me off." Who thought of this line it's awful.

Joseph gets revived wit Dio's blood. I live how Jotaro was basically saying how painful this journey was and that he could at least get one thing positive.

I'll be honest if my grampa did this to me I would have straight up killed him again.

Holly is fine and well. The Joestars and Polnareff part ways. Poor Polnareff tho, he was the closest to both Advol and Kakyoin.

The part 3 ends.

------------

We still not done!! There is still the OVA. It differs a lot from both the manga and the anime in a lot of ways so I thought it deserved it's own section.

OVA 11

They merged the coffin scene and Advol's death together. So instead of some goon Dio kills Advol. I like this better compared to the anime/manga but not by much.

Aaaah poor Iggy.

They don't bother with Vanilla Ice being a vampire, which I like.

Instead of having the whole group chat on the roof they get naturally separated instead. Jotaro and Joseph come across Dio. When Joseph tells Jotaro to run away he answers "You want me to run away now?" echoing Polnareff and Kakyoin's statements in the anime.

And then Dio throws Jotaro off the building with The World. As much as I like the sound design of the anime, I actually love how they didn't add any sound to his stand here.

Joseph gets saved from death by Kakyoin. He uses one of the tendrils to save Joseph and then uses emerald splash to make the dome of the building crash on Dio. It's actually a pretty cool sequence just watch it.

So that's how the gang gets separated. I like it more than the anime if I'm being honest.

OVA 12

This is the episode most faithful to the manga of the three.

The comments tell me Satoshi Kon was one of the directors in this. I am too lazy to confirm but it does have a similar style to his works. I'm really glad for that honestly. I've always loved Satoshi Kon.

I like the detail of Kakyoin saying maybe his power was teleporting, and Joseph telling him not to draw conclusions.

Emerald splash is a lot more intimidating in the OVA. I'm not sure which one I prefer. I do like the sound design of it in the anime.

In the OVA, Dio doesn't attack him right away. Dio says he shouldn't hasten his death, and that he is talented and just join him instead. Anime Dio doesn't bother with all that. He is just like "You wanna see The World do bad?? There you fucking go fool." and then kills him. While I do like what Kak says to Dio, I like the anime version of this wayy more.

OVA 13

I could go on about all the differences and what I like but just watch it tbh. They throw around cars and towers it's amazing.

I love the art style of the OVA just as much as the manga/anime. It's voice acting and soundtrack are not the best. The animation has some issues but it's fun. Also free to watch on Youtube.

ANNND We are done. This was a wild ride. I'm glad I watched it though. I can't wait to watch part 4.

I probably won't write as much for part 4 because it takes a long time. Maybe go 8 episode per post. I haven't figured it out yet. I might not even journal anything for it depending on how things go.

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

kurosawa and naoya tho both noticing the discomfort so they try to be as gentle as possible with the kiss, and it's so different but it stems from the same place, pure kindness, for kurosawa it hurt so much to do sth like that in the context of a beer game where his peers could ridicule them both but adachi could hear in its entirety kurosawa's pain, and naoya just keeps making me insane he's so goddamn attentive he sees it all even tho he doesn't really imagine where kota's excitement comes from and even tho kota threw himself at him it does not mean other things might come as easily to kota and naoya clearly feels like he got overexcited with the kiss like imagine falling so fast for someone and it being so genuine because kota's excitement over his bad luck being gone is ofc genuine and naoya seems like he has been hoping for someone truly genuine after so long, and i lost my point here but i think naoya and kurosawa falling for genuine people as both people that have put up personas for the sake of other's comfort over their own entire selves and being so gentle and patient and kind about it, about kota and adachi, it's goddamn beautiful, it's an ode to giving ourselves the opportunity to slowly open up to the world after feeling lonely or being alone and forgetting to connect with people like they keep choosing kindness despite it all, despite it all

[lovedlovingly]

it's insane how internalized misogyny still rules me, the curse i inherited from my family is absolutely not broken but it has become lighter. i wish i learnt something more from my mom than "please a(ny) man at every turn or he will leave u - and that happening is worse than death" as if it hasn't almost killed me and left me dead having to please men.... (also AS IF that was a solid recipe to make anyone stay as if they're worth having around only for that) i don't wish this life upon me. and idc for my mom because she still wishes it upon herself and me so like, she can sort herself out i won't forgive her til she does and then still maybe not.

sitting down with myself rn and I feel like i haven't learnt anything this year about moving forward and wanting better for myself, just better @ handling when i get screwed over. and that's just sad. it just means it'll happen again til i learn, and I'm too tired for that.... but where do i start the change? how do i break it? how does every fiber and molecule in my body change into stop believing the false truth. it's so fucking harddddddd. life should be easier. and i should love myself more and want better for myself. it's just hard when it's so hard to find better aswell 😅

i feel like i should be able to find good ppl to practice green flags with, not just to figure out why this person yet again was a red flag. like i get that i need to say no to more ppl in my life and shut the door sooner, but holy fuck it's hard when the only other option is being lonely. not just alone but lonely. wheres the [lesson] in that? "better alone than in bad company" cool in theory pretty sad after 30y

what i did do in 2022 was change out my whole friend group tho. i was so tired of being taken for granted, money time energy emotionally etc. and being told "you'll always be there for me anyways:)" like idk. yeah i need to cut out ppl sooner and I'm still feeling the bitterness negative effects of staying around those ppl for way too long! so now i need to untangle that as well! and the ppl I've found this year are so much better cuter and calmer - and i love it and at the same time it's hard to be both present and grieve what's been.

one positive thing is that i have been able to stop overthinking e v e r y t h i n g this year, go more on feeling a little more on "be the friend u wanna have" (when there's energy fuck i hate being sick) and I've actually challenged my paranoia which is a bit calmer now. for the first time since i was like 11. so have I done work this year? and especially fighting for my physical health both energy time and wallet wise? yes.

am i still exhausted and sad that i don't feel I've personally changed enough to not be so hungry for any new interaction i could possibly make? yes. am i still going insane over hearing a cishet guy go "i think I'm ready for a relationship, i mean I'm fit and I'm kinda funny" and those were his only highlights KWNWKENEL when I've turned myself inside and out to [become the best person for myself and someone else and a possible future family] but again misogyny creeps into that. that my only worth is what i can give.

if there's something i have learnt this year tho, it's that I'm so easy to love. some ppl just want to take advantage of it and then get bored when they notice i stay lovable. and its a them problem. I'm not gonna take responsibility for that anymore. one cursed chain broken. but it feels far from enough in the bigger picture

[cowboisadness]

Found You {Arthur Morgan x F!reader}

Summery: She was there for Arthur through everything, being more than good friends but less than partners. They support eachother through the good and bad times, it’s not love tho, no, it’s not love at all.

Rating: M. Basically porn with plot. More plot than i planned i really got carried away with this. SMUT IS HERE! 18+ ONLY!!

—–

Chapter 4 - Together

The next few days were nothing short of torture. Arthur never spoke another word to me, huffing whenever I would say something to him or just walking away from me completely. Everyone else in camp soon noticed something serious had happened between us. Their comforting words and questions on what happened went unanswered and dismissed. I hoped time would help, that I would get a chance to explain myself and apologise for my foolishness and downright stupidity. But as the days passed, the frayed ends of the rope had no chance of being reconnected, no matter how hard I tried and how hard I cried. So I flung myself into as many jobs as I could get. As a distraction.

Robbing homesteads. Stagecoaches that turned into shootouts more often than not. Gambling with fellers that were too drunk to notice me stealing their wears from right under their noses and gone before they realised anything was amiss. Fighting in hidden alleyways with meagre men that thought they could take on a woman with nothing to lose. Just to feel something, another kind of pain that would lessen with time.

It wasn’t until I was sat at the edge of the camp, cleaning my revolver while looking out over the overlook, stars raining bright above. Bottle of whiskey by my side that Hosea came over and sat beside me. Silent at first. Taking in the view.

“You going to explain whats going on?”

“Nothings going on, Hosea.” I shrugged, running the oiled cloth over the same spot mindlessly. “Arthur won’t tell me. I though out of the two of you, you would.” he kept his eyes ahead, not bothering to look at me. I sighed, my shoulders dropping in defeat. I might as well tell him, not like he would be able to change my mind.

“I’m an idiot. I spoke to Mary. Told her to leave Arthur alone and to stop contacting him.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know anymore...Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“You love him.” I could see his grin out of the corner of my eye, albeit a sad on.

“Not you too, Hosea.”

“You two were very close. Closer than you think I realise. I’m not a dumb old man you know”

I didnt reply to that. No point to, my mind was made up now. Instead, I holstered my gun and stood, picking up the bottle as I did. Turning to Hosea to finally look at him.

“I’m leaving, Hosea. Only for a few weeks or a few months. I don’t know.”

“You really think leaving will help?” “Maybe. It might help him if I’m not here. I’ll send money and write to you and Dutch. I’ve already packed.” After a few more words and questions on my plans when I’m out there on my own, we hugged and I said my goodbyes to him, Dutch and a few others. Promising the girls I will see them again, even though I was doubtful. I willed no tears to spill when I gathered my things, leaving my tent bare and hollow. Mounting my horse I left camp without looking back, letting the wind guide me in whatever direction it wanted me to go.

---

Roughly 4 months had passed since leaving. Currently holed up in a now-abandoned cabin in the depths of Grizzlies East by O’Creagh’s run, hiding from the law after robbing the fence in Van Horne. Id wrote letters and sent money to nearby stations as promised. Keeping updated with the gangs coming and goings. The last time I heard from those who would write back, mainly Hosea and Mary-Beth, was when they were held up in a place called Shady Belle. I haven’t heard anything from them since. That was a month ago. I had thought of going there, finding them. But I couldn’t bare having to leave again after realising they had been getting on fine and had left me to my own devices. Coming to the conclusion that I was not returning and that I had abandoned them all. Which was far from the truth. I still cared, which I’m sure was evident from whatever leftover money I had been sending to them. Only, it wasn’t getting picked up from the stations anymore, along with my many letters. I was travelling back to the cabin after an evening hunting for supper and hopeful breakfast. The blanket of trees now behind me, opening up the wondrous starry night, pulling my jacket closed as the cold breeze this time of year began to sting any uncovered skin. I looked around before dismounting, taking my kill of two rabbits stowed on the side of my ever faithful horse and made my way inside. Looking around once more to make sure I hadn’t been followed. Just to be safe. As I began to skin and gut the meat, the warm glow from the lantern lighting my every movement in the otherwise dark cabin, I heard motion outside. Bears and wolves were not uncommon around these parts. I had to shoot my way out of a wolf pack not a week ago, coming away with nothing but a bruise on my hip from being bucked off the horse in her desperate attempt to flee. Nevertheless, I placed down the knife and picked up my rifle propped up against the door. Looking out the window to the right of the door. Seeing nothing and hearing nothing else. I went to the door, preparing my rifle then placing my ear to the door. It was silence for a few moments, then movement again, making its way up the steps. It didn’t sound like an animal. With a hand on the handle and rifle ready to be used, I swung the door open. The rifle now aimed at the unwelcomed guest.

It took a moment for my eyes to adjust in the darkness, but it didnt take long to recognise who it was.

“Arthur?” It was barely a whisper. A question of disbelief. I blinked a few times, surely my eyes were playing tricks on me.

After a few breaths, he finally spoke “I’ve found you.” We just stood there, I released a breath I didnt even know I was holding. How did he find me? Why would he? Months of keeping myself away from people the best I could and staying hidden for long periods of time I was beginning to feel content with being a lone wolf. Not thinking that lone wolves are weakened beings after too long. Often driven out when deemed useless or a weakness to the pack, or leaving to find their own family. Not alone forever, wolves would struggle and go insane.

But he, of all people, found me. The only question now is why. And that was the only thing I could say as I lowered the gun.

“Why?”

He told me everything that happened. The downfall, the betrayal, the heartbreak. Those that we lost. Everyone gone in one way or another. Sean, Kieran, Lenny, Hosea, Molly, Miss Grimshaw. Dead. Saint Denis bank, Guarma, Micah working with the Pinkertons. In the end, Micah had turned Dutch against almost everyone, whispering little worms into his ear until they grew and grew to leave no room for anything else.

Dutch turning his back on Him and John. Leaving John to bleed out and leaving Arthur on that mountain. Where he thought would be his final resting place. But once the sun was up, high in the sky, he found the energy to live. To heal. To find me.

And that’s what he did the last few weeks until he heard whispers of someone fitting my description that caused a bit of hell in Van Horn. He knew he was close.

“But...why did you want to find me?” I asked. Both of us sat around the small table below the window, two empty whiskey glasses before us.

He took in a deep breath, his perfect blue eyes meeting my bloodshot and watery ones. “I wanted to the moment I was told you left,” He leaned over, taking my hands in his.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think these last few months. Especially in the last few weeks. What you did before you left, I understand now why.”

“But I hurt you.” letting a sob escape, my body starting to tremble and I’m sure he could feel it in my hands.

“It did hurt. But losing you hurt even more,” He said, nothing more than a whisper, his eyes never leaving mine and his hold on my hands not faltering as he continued. “I remember what you said to me that night years ago. ‘Bout not knowing how much I mean to you. Well - I - I do. Because I feel the same. Always have. it just took me a while to realise it I guess.”

I couldn’t stop the tears. The damn had busted open. Within seconds he was on me, his arms enveloping me, my hands coming to purchase on his shirt. Neither of us wanted to let go, out of fear the other would disappear into the air like dust in the morning rays. We held each other for what felt like an eternity, my tears slowing and the shaking subsiding. I lifted my head from where it was perched on his chest to look at him, our eyes locked once more. No words were spoken but I could see it in the depths of those pools, the forgiveness and longing. And I was sure my eyes mirrored the same. His hand came up to cradle my face and I instinctively leaned into him, my breathing hitching despite the calmness that washed over me. Then I looked into his eyes again, only to be met with a look I had not seen in many years. I opened my mouth to speak but before I could he surged forward, his lips on mine. It was delicate, more fragile than any other kiss we had shared. It wasn’t long until that fragility turned into desperation, my hands at the nape of his neck, his on my waist. My mind was running a million miles a minute, all thoughts of him and this moment. Feeling like we were young lovers again. His hands roamed my sides as I gripped his hair, keeping each other glued to one another. My body began to burn up, feelings I had repressed for months pushing their way to the surface, refusing to be drowned. We broke apart and he pulled me to stand, his lips now on my neck, trailing wet kisses from below my ear to the hollow of my neck, causing me to moan. He looked at me then, desperation and pleading etched upon his face before I kissed him again. Kissing the scar on his chin that was easily visible within the stubble, his jaw, down to his neck and then his chest. Pushing off his jacket and suspenders with it. My fingers returned to the front of his shirt, undoing the buttons slowly as he pushed me back into the direction of the bed. My legs soon coming into contact with the edge. His hands now making a start on my blouse, pulling it from the confines of my pants and lifting it over my head. My hands roaming his chest and snaking down to his abdomen, stroking the hair there, causing him to tense at my touch. He always was a fine man, built from hard work that I couldn't help but adore. His arms wrapping around to my back to undo the corsets lacing, completely surrounding me and all I could smell was him. Horse, rain, sweat and something that was just so undoubtedly him. Undoing his gun belt was muscle memory, hitting the floor with a thud, my corset following, now both bare from the waist up. We couldn’t wait any longer, our lips on each other once again as we worked on unbuttoning our pants. He leaned me down to lay on the bed, my legs hanging over the sides as he wasted no time to pull off the rest of my clothing. Laying there propped up on my elbows I watched as he raked his eyes over every curve, scar and freckle on my body. Kneeling between my legs he drew kisses from my knee up my thigh, getting oh so close to where I wanted him to be. He looked up at me once more, giving a shuddering breath before his mouth landed between my legs, soft but purposeful strokes easily pulling moans from me. He didn’t let up, devouring me like a man starved as he paid close attention to my little bundle of nerves. My body shaking again but for a whole different reason. It had been too long and I knew I wasn’t going to last if he kept going for a minute longer. My hands fisting the bedsheets I tried to speak but it was useless, squirming from the sensations. Lifting my legs to rest on his shoulders feeling him moan against me, the vibration causing bolts of electricity to fire through my whole body and land at my core. I could feel my orgasm rapidly approaching and my hand flew down to card through his hair, holding him there. My body convulsed as I tipped off the edge, my head rolling back as the blinding pleasure washed over me, moaning his name into the air. Arthur was above kissing me within seconds, tasting myself on his tongue and lips. Catching my breath he pushed me further up the bed until my head hit the plush pillows. Removing his pants and then situating himself between my legs. I could feel him pressed up against my thigh, hot and swollen and begging for attention. And oh how my body craved to give him what he needed. His eyes met mine, hooded and filled with lust. Silently asking for permission. I nodded, placing a kiss on his forehead and placing my hands on his shoulders. Electrifying jolts surged through my core as he strokes himself along my slit tenderly. His skin burning to my touch and looking downright drunk. Completely intoxicated. He sinks into me slowly. My body soon getting accustomed to the memory of him as he bottoms out, his hips meeting my thighs. My breath hitches as he bites back a moan. Both of us taking a moment just to bask in the feeling of one another like this again. It all felt the same but so different. He kissed the scar on my collar bone that he only got to see before when it was fresh. We had been through so much over the years we would need to learn about each other again. But one thing remained the same; my body yeard for him. He pulled out before setting a languid pace, lifting one of my legs to wrap around his waist, allowing him to go deeper, his pace quickening and lifting my hips to meet him, Chasing our pleasure. One hand in my hair, tangled up with my locks as his other hand firmly grasped my hip. The look on his face was evidence that he was holding back, needing to completely lose himself in me. And I felt the same. “Arthur...Please.” I purred, not needing to say anymore. His pace quickened with a grunt, one that was a borderline growl. My moans and the sounds of skin on skin filling the air and our ears as he kept hitting that sweet spot. My nails forming crescents on his shoulders. Pulling him down to crush my lips against his, our teeth clicking and tongues dancing together. Pulling back suddenly with swollen lips as the pressure began to build, my whole body trembling more and more as I got higher and higher. Moaning out his name as his rhythm began to falter. Nuzzling into my neck and mumbling ‘oh, fuck,’ in that gravelly but wanton voice. His hand on my hip made its way between my legs, rubbing in quick circles. I couldn’t hold back. That coil within me growing tighter and tighter before snapping. My back arching as the shockwaves rocked through me. Slowing his pace slightly to ride me through it before picking up his pace again, chasing his pleasure with a few more pumps of his hips and he stilled. His hand like a vice on my thigh as he spent himself inside me with a drawn-out moan. It took us a few moments to get our breath back. Pulling himself from me causing me to whimper from the empty feeling and sensitivity. He moved to lay beside me and pulled me to lay with my head on his shoulder. Neither of us willing to clean ourselves up just yet. My skin now acknowledging the cold air around us. The thin sheen of sweat cooling me. Nothing was said for a while as he held me close until he broke the silence to place a kiss to the top of my head then lifting my chin for my face to meet his. “I love you,” he said. My eyes getting blurry from the confession I never thought I would hear. But looking at him I knew it was true. His eyes shone with adoration. I smiled weakly before kissing him once. Looking back into his eyes and with no hesitation, I said out loud what id only heard myself mutter in my dreams. “I love you too."

[nightlight-stardust-and-rain]

OK so au where Inui dies in the fire while Akane still gets burned so bad that she goes into coma. And it's super fucking hard for Koko, because yeah his crush is in an awful state but he also lost his best friend. He's dead and there's no coming back and it fucking sucks. He becomes even more obsessed with money to help Akane, because now more than his crush she's also all he has left of his best friend. It's not great on his mental health, living without Inui. So when Inui's ghost appears in front of him one day, obviously he thinks he's hallucinating hard. After a few tests (of the 'tell me what's going on in the other side of the city where I never set foot so I know you know things I don't' variety) they both come to the conclusion that Inui is, indeed, real. Inui is pretty happy about that, because while existing like that sucks a little, it's better than being dead, and he gets to stay with Koko which is nice! And he's also sad about Koko's life, he had it hard those last few years. Koko is also happy about it. Obviously if his best friend had something he needed to do to like go to the other side, he would help him! But Inui seems to want to stay here, so it's good and he's been really lonely since the fire. It just feels good to have his best friend again.

So they stay together from now on (which wouldn't change from the manga, I literally never saw them apart before the tenjiku thing). Inui helps Koko to spy on people, since he's a ghost only koko can see he's basically the perfect spy (plus it gives him things to do) and most of the time Koko remembers to take his phone out and fake a call when he's talking to Inui so he doesn't seems like a nutcase but sometimes he forgets... Often enough that some people notice.

Some people think it's an imaginary friend (because some of them are still young enough for imaginary friends), some believe he's haunted (which makes Koko laugh a lot) but the majority thinks he's just insane. Koko doesn't minds ; if people believe he's not right in the head they get scared of him, which is nice. He ends up being an information broker, because he's very good at knowing things on his own, so with Inui's ghostly help? It's even better, and it's a also a great way to make money. And it makes Inui less bored. And then... It happens. Akane dies. It's very hard for both of them. For a while they think that she's gonna come back as a ghost like Inui did, but when it becomes obvious that she won't, they can finally grieve. And it feels... Relieving, in a way. It's okay, they still have each other despite the sadness.

They're not quite sure what to do after that. Inui's dream is not to make the black dragons great again, since his social life revolves around the only person who can see him, so he didn't met anyone from that gang, so they don't join the black dragons. Koko's not quite sure what to do too, since his reason to gain money was to help Akane, his life is now... Kinda purposeless? So I suppose he just lives like us purposeless people do. He keeps being an information broker, because hey he still needs money to live and it's a job he does well and it gives Inui things to do. He starts talking to Inui more openly, to increase his reputation of craziness ; if people believe he's crazy they'll leave him alone (also not having to hide that he's talking to his best friend is kinda relieving, he doesn't gives a fuck about what people think). Also, he's wearing heels because Inui really liked heels but now he obviously can't wear them anymore so Koko wears them for him, they're not that bad (and you can like, kinda stab people with them so it rocks).

Obviously he ends up dealing with the Toman, maybe before Takemichi does his time travel thing - I think he'd have normal info business with them, you know. I also for some reason think he'd be friends with Draken? Or it is because they're both my favorites and I want my favorites to be friends? Maybe. Anyway, he's at least on talking terms with Draken and Mikey. They both think he's weird with his talk to the air thing, but Mikey thinks it's funny and Draken doesn't cares. They do ask, tho. And when Koko tells them it's the ghost of his best friend, they shrug and he doesn't knows if that means they believe him or not. But well.

Inui's and Koko's relationship is basically the same, if a bit more codependent (and thats' saying something given that they seemed at least a bit codependent in canon), but there's a lot less doubt on Inui's part that Koko sees Akane in him ; he has seen what his death did to Koko, and it really wasn't pretty, so he knows Koko really cares.

In the future, I suppose he's a well known information broker, both for his effectiveness at knowing thing and for the fact that he's clearly some flavor of insane (but not the violent kind of insane). Naoto recommends Takemichi to find him at the second time jump, if he want to stop Mikey and Kisaki from meeting, Koko will know where they are and what they're doing (he does also warns Takemichi to not be surprised when Koko talks to thin air, it's a thing he still does today). I think Takemichi would ask him who he's talking to, and believe him, because why would à time traveler doubt the existence of ghosts? Maybe he would also try to befriend them. I... Don't think Koko would be his friend tho. Inui might, but also he needs Koko to translate for him so... I mean Koko isn't gonna stop Inui from having more friends, he's not that jealous or insecure ; they're literally codependent and he knows Inui will always return to him (since he's the only one who sees him). So he stays a minor character in the plot, in a different way but still. Hanging out in the background kinda style. Maybe with more interactions with Draken and Mikey, because I want my faves to be friends.

[everyothermouse]

A lil group portrait of the time au adventuring gang!! Them <333

Basically tol fucked up as a kid and is now on the run from the law, but realized that since his life was so crazy he could live off of telling stories of his wacky adventures. When he met Jay he wanted him to come with him, and when he found out jay couldn't come cus he was virtually a demon/god/magic magnet he decided he NEEDED to bring him to capitalize on how it'd make more cool stories. And yeah it worked so since then he's been collecting wackos to aaa go crazy aaaa go stupid (and also bcus safety I numbers or whateva, pop and pip are also criminals and pastel and jay are crimes against god <3) more about each individual under the cut!

Doin them from left to right :)

Pastel: died when she was messing around with some friends and got stuck under a big rock and left to starve. But because of a fluke in the underworld her God decided to resurrect her, a right usually only belonging to saints. Because of this she's now poorly pretending that she totally did something to deserve being revived (she tells a different story every time someone asks, she thinks it's funny) to avoid being persecuted for suspected witchcraft. She met Jay when they were both drunk and they had fun fucking around in the city, and she spilled the beans to him that she was revived for no reason. She regretted it, but jay didn't kill her because even though he's religious he knew what it felt like to be magically cursed and have everyone be pissed at u for it. Also she's really funny with jay so tol begged her to come with them to add more Comedy(tm) to his memoirs

Pop: a time traveller and angel who is trying to hide both of those facts but only really succeeding at hiding the time travel thing. When they were a kid they traveled to this time with his friends Lustre and Cherrybomb, but when they were attacked by the vicious royal guard they weren't able to escape without leaving Lustre behind. Cherrybomb super repressed that memory, and while pop recovered from some minor injuries they vowed to never time travel again. Yeah they only kept that up until they were like 15, but they still couldn't bring themself to go back to when they left Lustre. But now they're 26 (well technically they're like 33 but in their time their supposed to be 26) living with their boyfriend cherrybomb and have years of time travel experience under their belt, and they're ready to go back. Except they can't go back because they created a travel block for themself by accident because of how upsetting the event was, so instead they traveled as close as they could, about 10 years in the future of the time. Now they search for any form of closure, all they need to know is what happened to their friend, and they will do whatever it takes to find this out. But angels aren't super welcome in the past, especially not with uncut wings, so it's not exactly easy for them to navigate this time period. But after a while of their search they met two lovely children (well young adults), a demon and a "cursed" (nowadays they call em spiritually gifted) and felt so bad for how much the world seemed to be against them they decided they could travel with them, just for a bit, to protect them. They tried not to get attached. They failed. They're in it for the long run now aren't they TwT also as they explore this time and learn more about the gods, they start to realize that they might... be the God of longevity???? Or at least an older version of them became them? Time travel is fucked man

Btw Lustre plays a big role in this plot, her hyper futuristic knowledge, 'blessed' white eyes, and strange God gifted clothing would all lead to him rising to a much different role than fugitive rather quickly, but they're not who this post is about ;) also I'm gonna go bottom to top for the 3 in the middle let's go

Lune: just a little guy :) lune is a young rancher/gardener who worships the God of the wood, who kind of goes missing sometimes and is lowkey the least loyal God but shhhh he loves them. Lune and tol were childhood friends (along with their pal cleo) but on one of their little excursions tol took something very important to a very powerful king, and refused to give it back. As retribution the king destroyed their entire town, and cleo put all the blame on tol, tol and lune both knew lune had to take the side against tol in order to not have the town turn on him. So yeah he moved with the town to bring up a brand new farm, long awaiting the day when tol would come home and say that things were OK and they could settle back in town together, hopefully with cleo too. That didn't happen, but tol did come back and peer pressure lune into part time adventuring with him! So yeah generally lune just runs his lil farm and prays, but when tol comes to pick him up he gets a chance to go be free to act batshit crazy, just like when he was a kid 🥰

Pipes: DEmon! One time lune and tol had a little squabble so lune was like 'im gonna get a new best friend and ur gonna regret this' and tol was like 'yeah right, u live with a bunch of criminals right now no one's gonna wanna be ur bestie dumbass' so lune just walked into a cave at night and dragged out this little nonverbal demon because demons who live alone in caves don't have high standards for friends. Even tho it was just a ploy to make tol jealous lune went super hard on it and now pipes is actually friends with the gang lmaoo

Tol: like I said with lunes, stole something important from a king as a kid, monarch got pissed, blew up the town, town got pissed at tol for it, and since then he's been on the run because he's too stubborn to give back the damn thing (they could have just attacked HIM for it, but since la queen decided to fuck with his town, his family, tol thinks he doesn't deserve to have it back.) He had to run from town to town and got into a lot of danger in his attempts at finding places to hide, but he lacks fear and tended to fight stuff off. As a kid he found that he could get enough pity to be welcomed into towns if he told people he had to fight a monster to get there, so he told stories at every town and camp he went to of his hardships. But as he got older, those he stayed with beckoned him to keep talking, and more and more people said they had heard of his adventures. And that's when when it clicked, his shining ticket to true freedom wasn't a place, it was his stories. They gave him food, shelter, fun, memories, a life. So he made it his mission to never settle down, to make his life as crazy as possible and to talk about it as much as possible, and if he ever ran out of energy to adventure, he'd spend the rest of his dying days writing and writing his entire life story. He thought this was a life he'd live alone, but one day he sought refuge in jays little lonely house because he thought it was abonded, luckily though Jay had just been praying for a second chance at life and decided that considering the timing, tol must be that second chance. So yeah jay patched him up, found out on his monthly supply route he was harboring someone very wanted, and took care of tol even harder because he didn't know or care why he was wanted, he just knew that anyone who had a drawing of them as a child on a wanted poster definitely didn't deserve it. So yeah they're besties now.

AAA I wrote out a really long description for jay but tumblr glitched and I lost it :'O ble here's a shorter rewrite cus I'm not writing out that whole thing again >:P

Jay: brought up in a church village,, he was born with the curse, which allows him to tap into magical properties very easily, and be very easily controlled, manipulated, and possessed by them. This allowed him to be very connected with his god (the god of longevity) but also meant he was often treated as a security risk and a monster by the adults of his town since he could let in evil spirits so easily. He spent most of his time praying and he became obsessed with acting on compulsions (repeated prayer, overscrubbing, scratching himself, touching religious things until he felt like he touched them "right") because he believed they were messages from God and would prevent him from becoming evil (look he was a teenager and everyone told him he was a monster his whole life leave him be.) He gets possessed twice, mage as a rep of the town is like "either have ur cursed removed or leave town forever" (uncursing is only hypothetically possible, it's hella dangerous) and he's scared itd sever his connection to his god so he leaves and he's upset bcus his entire life plan was built around his church, so now he's livin alone on a hill and leaving like once a month, he stays up there and sews and prays mostly, he sort of works on himself and becomes vaguely mentally stable, so he prays for a second chance at life since he lost his original path and needs a sign where to go, and then boom tol shows up and the rest is history. Now he has his own little family and things are going great :) other than the still getting possessed like once a week but shhhh

Pip: in between the entrance to hell and the religious central of the continent is a little town that sides with neither. They mostly fuck around and find out, and in this town lives a monster researcher and her less formal wife, pip! Pip is just a silly goofy little guy livin life, and when the crazy bunch shows up she feels like he's finally found her people :3 and for the first time the group gains a member who's begging to join them as opposed to the other way around

Ya and together they all go on wacky lil adventures with demons and monsters and monarchs and what not.

Tldr pastel is a funny lil dead guy, pop is a time traveller and the Adult of the team, lunes a lil farmer man, pipes a hobo demon they picked up off the side of the road, tols a little criminal demon adventurer, jays a religious weirdo who tol dragged out of his hermit hut, and pips an insane little guy

[cloudshapedpatch]

take my money (take my heart, too)

the awkward julie & luke sugar daddy/baby au no one asked for

rated teen and up for swearing and semi-mature themes such as the concept of a sugar daddy/baby arrangement

no smut! insane tooth-rotting fluff tho

slow burn juke

and disaster lesbians flarrie side plot and (eventual) willex

also a coffee shop au because i said so

read on ao3 (chapter 1 and tag list below the cut)

* * * *

Julie is nervous. No, nervous is an understatement. Her knees bounce uncontrollably under the table, shaky fingers twirling the straw in her iced coffee. And the knot in her stomach seems to grow ever tighter.

She pulls out her phone to check the time for the third time this minute. How is it still 10:57 am? Just as she is about to put her phone back in her pocket, it buzzes with an incoming text from her best friend/roommate, Flynn.

Flynn: calm down

Julie smiles despite herself, turning around to look at her friend a few tables away. Thank goodness for her friend, willing to throw away a morning to make sure she is safe and comfortable on her blind date. She shoots Flynn a small smile. Flynn, to their credit, is taking their job very seriously, wearing an absurdly large sunhat and sunglasses, sipping on a mug of hot tea with a decoy book under her nose.

Julie turns to anxiously watch the baristas, moving around the small space with ease, mixing drinks hot and cold alike. Twirling around each other without even looking. And she lets her mind wander.

How had she gotten here? Waiting for a man whom she had never spoken to, let alone seen? And she isn’t counting their text messaging. Not really. Not even if they had been talking for weeks. Not even if they regularly stayed up well into the night just to keep talking to the other. Not even if he had her blushing furiously, toes curling from giddiness and hiding under her sheets, smiling at the flirtatious speech bubbles on her phone for longer than she’d like to admit.

Because that doesn’t count. She has never heard his voice. She has never seen what he looked like. Anyone could be a charmer, and she is undoubtedly nervous about who she might find walking through the door and towards her.

How had she gotten here? It is a simple question, and one she has the answer to. Doesn’t mean she likes it. She had made an offhand comment to Flynn at work one day. Julie is sick of working 12 hour days in the cafe (not this one. she would be dumb to meet a stranger in her workplace) and barely scraping by. She had joked she needed someone to fund her shopping sprees.

Flynn had suggested a sugar daddy.

Julie wants to bang her head on the table. Past Julie is an idiot. And now Present Julie is going to pay the price.

Why had she let Flynn convince her to download that dumb app?

(Because she has a virtually useless college degree, bills to pay, and school loans creeping up on her and she is cutting back every month. Living in L.A. isn’t cheap.

And, if she really lets herself think about it, Julie is lonely.)

She checks her phone again, pleased to find it is finally 11 am. He should be here any minute. Luke should be here any minute.

Is it a red flag that he had only been willing to share his first name? Should it have concerned her that he didn’t have a profile picture on his online dating account? Is she dumb for letting him change the subject every time she asked about his job? Solid ‘maybe’s to all of those, but! After they had started talking, they had instantly clicked. He loves music almost as much as she did, maybe even more. They bonded over that, and many other things.

This is fine.

She straightens her posture, glancing down at her dress to make sure all is in order. It’s baby blue with golden sunflowers all over, and she had slipped a cropped denim jacket on top, the one with patches of all her favorite bands. She fusses with the loose curls hanging by her face, her hair pulled into a half bun at the top of her head, leaving a clear view of her sunflower earrings. It’s the perfect outfit to be noticed in, she had told him she’d be wearing blue and sunflowers, certainly he wouldn’t miss her.

Whenever he decided to show up.

Wait. he would show up, wouldn’t he?

Of course he would.

...Right?

Before she can get too far down that rabbit hole, the chime above the door is jingling, and Julie has to fight hard not to turn and see who it is. The anticipation crawls up her spine and settles in her neck, jaw tingling.

A man comes in, approaching the counter with confidence in his step. One barista takes one look at him and gapes like a fish, turning to a coworker to nonchalantly point at him. Both girls look at each other and quietly squeal, letting one of the male cashiers help him.

Must be attractive, she thinks, and she isn’t disappointed by what she can see from the back. His sleeves are short, showing off his muscular arms and he’s tall. She’s always liked tall men.

Supposedly handsome stranger orders his drink and waits at the counter for it. One of the girls hands it to him with a gleeful smile. He accepts, then says something to her before the girl’s smile falters and points right at Julie.

Wait, she’s pointing at Julie?

Definitely handsome stranger follows her finger and lands on Julie, eyes scanning up and down her body (at least, what he can see from above the table), his face instantly lighting up in the most gorgeous smile she’s ever seen.

And then he’s turning back to say thank you and then making his way towards her and oh no what what what--

Because this isn’t her date. It can’t be, right? But Luke Patterson is stepping up to her booth, sliding into the seat across from her.

“Hey, you’re Julie, right?” His voice, sweet and thick as honey, and Julie would know that voice anywhere.

“Luke Patterson? You… you didn’t say--” She cuts herself off before she can say something foolish.

Because there is no way in hell she’d unknowingly put up her sugar baby services to Luke fucking Patterson. Not rockstar Luke Patterson. Not lead guitarist and singer and songwriter for her favorite band, Sunset Curve. Not literally in the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame Luke Patterson.

“Yeah, about that… I am really sorry about not telling you. It’s just not something I like mentioning to everyone I meet, you know?”

She’s having a hard time processing what he’s saying. He’s so close. Why is he leaning on the table like that? Why is he so close?

“Yeah! Yeah, totally. That’s understandable.” She laughs nervously, taking a sip of her coffee to avoid speaking any further.

“This… this is okay, right? You’re not mad?”

“Mad?” This clears her mind a bit. She takes in the way his hands fiddle with the rings on his fingers, his shoulders raised, and while his smile is easygoing, his eyes say otherwise. Why would she be mad?

She expresses this to him, and he just looks at his hands.

“Well, because I wasn’t completely truthful with you. And I totally understand if you want to walk away.”

“No!” She says before she can filter herself. His eyebrows raise in amusement. “I mean, it’s fine! I was just… surprised, that’s all.”

And surprised is correct. Luke Patterson is the same Luke she’s been talking to for the last three weeks, the very same one who’s been making her laugh and who’d almost made her miss work last week because they had texted about everything and nothing until the sun came up.

He seems to like her answer. His smile never leaves his face.

“You seemed to recognize me. You a fan of Sunset Curve’s?”

And maybe it’s the way his cocky smile burns her cheeks, or just the fact that he’s talking to her. Panic sets in and she lies.

“Never heard of Sunset Swerve.”

“You knew my name.”

“You know it’s a household name, right?”

“Your jacket says otherwise.”

And shit. She had forgotten about the Sunset Curve patch right over her heart. In fact, it was the first patch she had put on the jacket. But he doesn’t need to know that.

“Fine. You caught me. I’m a Curver. Happy?”

And though she’s teasing, he couldn’t seem to be happier. Seriously, she’s worried his dopey grin is gonna break his face. Then an ugly, ugly thought rears its head in her mind.

“Wait. You let me gush about Sunset Curve so many times and you didn’t say anything?” Her sentence ends in a laugh.

“Oh, Julie, I wanted to so bad. You have no idea!”

Julie finds herself not really registering the second half of his sentence. She had missed it, the first time he said her name due to being starstruck, and her face warms a bit when she recalls just how good her name had sounded when he said it. Like a splash of cool water on a hot day. Like sap dripping fresh from a tree, glinting in the sunlight.

“Then why didn’t you?”

He sobers a bit at this, though his eyes still hold the same fire as before. “Well, I didn’t really want to go around announcing that. Can you imagine how many matches I’d get if I put that little tidbit in my bio?”

Julie laughs at this, the absurdity of it hitting her. Of course. He’d want someone who’d like him for him, not for his status, or name, or fame or money.

Oh. Shit. She was literally here for his money.

“For sure! Must’ve been hard.”

“Oh, not really. I matched with you on day one and deleted the app once we exchanged phone numbers.”

“Really?” Julie felt a little guilty for still having the app on her phone now, even after she was pretty sure Luke was a good match. There was still the possibility that mystery man was a total creep. If she’d have known who he was, on the other hand…

“Totally! I’ll be honest, my bandmates put me up to this, but once we started talking I just knew I had to meet you.”

Julie’s mind still feels a bit foggy, like she was dreaming. A fantastic dream, might she add.

“I’ve been really excited to meet you too. My best friend also convinced me to get the app. She’s actually over there.” Julie smiled, nudging her head over towards her friend, where they were certainly trying their best to eavesdrop.

“Brought a plus one, I see?” Luke chuckled, giving Flynn a wave. Flynn hid her already shielded eyes from view with her book.

“Hey, you gotta remember I was meeting someone whom I had never seen before, and the fact that I didn’t know your last name was not helping.”

Luke’s smile turned bashful again. “Ah. She’s backup.”

“Yep! But I think they’re good to go.” Julie whipped out her phone and sent Flynn a quick message, relieving her of her duties.

“You sure? I might kidnap you.”

“I’d let you kidnap me.”

Oh god. She so did not say that.

He seemed to think it was funny. At least she was amusing. At her own expense, maybe, but amusing nonetheless.

Amusing to Luke Patterson.

If she doesn’t stop saying his last name, she’ll go insane. This is just the dorky guy she’s been talking to. The one she’ll hopefully get to talk to tomorrow.

Despite the rocky start, Julie would say it was a successful date. Coffee turned into lunch at a nearby bistro, and he walked Julie to her car a few blocks away. She didn’t get to her apartment until after 4 o’clock, and Flynn was waiting with two glasses of wine in their shared living room. Julie is eager to spill all the details, and Flynn is the perfect listener, oohing and ahhing at all the right moments.

As Julie crawls into bed after her eventful day, her phone dings on her nightstand.

PayPal: Luke Patterson sent you $500.00  “I had a great time today :) hope to see you again soon!”

Well. If she had calmed down any, this just undid all of her efforts. A wave of guilt floods over her. The concept of a sugar daddy sort of seemed too outlandish to really fathom. But now she feels awful taking his money.

She’s really doing this, isn’t she?

Julie: you really didn’t have to

Luke: but i wanted to

Luke: it’s ok tho right?

Julie: i guess it’s fine, it’s just a lot of money

Luke: i realise how conceited this is going to sound but its no sweat off my back. just think of it as a gift

Gifts. She could live with that.

* * * *

taglist! @ladyblanche :)

[gongju-juice]

She never lied.

This was requested by anonymous. For future reference, please follow my page and send a message for requests. I may not be able to get everyone, and I may not give you exactly what you want but please be patient and understanding mah bois.

Warnings: Psychological Instability, Angst

“Mr. Park, how are you feeling today?”

He cleared his throat, eyes shifting around the white walls of the office. Every time he visited, the same family photos and certificates hung mockingly on the wall. Once upon a time, Jinyoung was once successful. He had his degrees, his career, his woman; his heart. Those days belong in another part of his life. A life that no longer existed.

“Mr. Park?”

“I feel. . .” he paused to find the right words, “hollow. Not as empty as usual, but the hole is wider today. It burns around the edges.”

The psychiatrist lowered her head in disappointment. Ms. Kyeong-un was one of the most talented mental health physicians in Changwon City. Her accomplishments were renowned and praised in all of South Korea. But with all her fancy background and text-book knowledge, she simply couldn’t understand the complex young man. 

“Have you been doing your therapy sessions like we’ve talked about?”

“No,” he admitted, “well, yes, at first. My medicine makes my head feel weird, and every time I try to breathe like you showed me how, all I inhale is her perfume. When I go out for walks, I see the pretty cherry blossoms—cherry blossoms were her favorite, you know.”

“Do you still work at the elementary school?”

Jinyoung recalled the prior day’s events. He was supposed to take the kindergarteners out for recess on the playground. But instead of doing that, he led them to the parking lot where cars maneuvered in and out of the blue lined spaces, tires screeching on the hot asphalt. Children yelling as they came inches from death by the silver bumper of a car’s front.

“No, I was fired.”

“Fired? But why?”

He scratched his chin. “I don’t know why. I was just trying to let them have fun.”

She closed her folder and clasped her hands together. “Mr. Park, I don’t see any improvement in our sessions at all. Your progression has been stagnant for months. It’s time you take initiative.”

Jinyoung didn’t see what else he could do. Sleepless nights led to terrifying hallucinations in the morning. Those hallucinations made him do terrible things in the day. How was he supposed to know that the friendly bunny standing in the parking lot of the school was not real?

“I have an idea,” she announced. “Admittedly, it is a little unconventional and slightly discouraged, but I think it may help your case. Would you like to know what it is?”

He shrugged. She reached under her desk and pulled out a thin, iridescent card.

“I have a friend named Lee Taemin. He takes on special orders at this location. Just tell security your name, and they’ll lead you there. I sent a picture of her so he’d know what she looked like when she was. . .alive.”

“A doll?” Jinyoung chuckled mirthlessly. “And you think one of those things can help me get over my wife? The life, the sunshine of my entire existence?”

“It’s worth a try, Mr. Park.”

Sometimes, Jinyoung seriously wondered about the insanity behind people’s motives. He was crazy. He knew this and knew it well. But this woman, this doctor, was supposed to fix the cloud of despair that was his mentality. And she thought she could accomplish this by a figurine made of plastic and synthetic human flesh. Who was crazier?

The next night he arrived at the building. It was made entirely of glass, a tree in the metaphorical urban jungle that dominated first-world society. Above the gold embellished revolving doors, the name of the owner shimmered in the morning sun.

He told the clerk his name, and she brought him into an elevator and up to the top floor. The long hallway had a clear view of the city, sprawling alive and awake in the rush hour time. All of it was meaningless. None of it meant a thing if he couldn’t have his girl. He used to dream of exploring the whole world. Now he sat on his bed staring at the tv blankly. Nothing had color any more.

“Mr. Park,” Taemin called, swiveling around in his chair. He wore a dark suit, his hair neatly parted to the side and meticulously groomed. “Kyeong-un told me all about your dilemmas.”

“And you’re wasting your time. Nothing or no one could ever replace my Mina. I don’t even know why,” he sighed. “I don’t even know why I’m here.”

“You’re here because you want a chance. You want a chance to get rid of the pain that’s been eating away at your heart. Don’t feel bad, Mr. Park. Everyone has their mediums. Whether it be drugs or alcohol—crime or sex—you’re allowed to do whatever is you have to do.”

He pointed at the box by his desk. “Take a look inside. I won’t judge you.”

Jinyoung as he was told. A cold, robotic body with her signature long black hair and glassy brown eyes laid inside. She was even the exact height, the shape of her lips and arch of her brows all a perfect replica of the woman who used to be.

“Do enjoy,” Taemin said. And with that, Jinyoung left the building.

He set the doll down on his bed. For as much as it resembled her, he knew her eyes were not animated. Her breath, her painted smile was fake. The real Mina was six feet underneath the dirt.

Sometime, maybe it was a week or two. Jinyoung revisited the forgotten doll abandoned in her cardboard prison. He lifted her body, cradling her to his chest. 

“My girl! My darling, baby girl! How could I leave you all alone when you’ve been so cold, so lonely? I won’t ever do it again, I swear it!”

His angel was back. His life was back. 

In the mornings, he bathed her in exquisite perfumes, brushing her hair delicately with care to the nurture of every single strand. He made her tea, and together, they drank in the golden rays of the sun.

The thing is—he wasn’t crazy. He wasn’t crazy. When he held her in his arms, she was real. She was smiling, she talked to him, she held his hand. Mina was alive, she wasn’t a doll. And Mina wouldn’t lie to him. She never lied to him. How could she lie about being real?

Got7 is one of my favorite Kpop groups, and Jinyoung and Jaebum are both my bias wreckers lol. (Jackson gege is my precious bias tho). 

This is a slightly altered form for what they requested, but that’s just because their idea was very grand, and I was little worried about cramming half-done work in this one-shot. I’m also not sure if I will write smut for actual (real-life) people in the future. For fictional characters it’s cowabunga and all that, but I haven’t made up my mind about actual people.

[demivampirew]

Don’t judge a book by its cover chapter 3.

A Cap. Syverson story.

Triggers: talking about panic attacks; cursing words (I think those are all the triggers for this chapter- mostly is a very friendly chapter).

Synopsis: Rebeca is an Argentinian girl who a few months ago moved to the USA (Washington D.C) to study in university thanks to a scholarship that she was granted. She’s lonely. People don’t treat her well. Some could be understood but most of them just hate her for being a foreigner. She meets Syverson because he’s a man from the South and she has not had a good experience with people from there, but she may find out at the end that she shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Tag:  lunedelorient 

Syverson helped Rebeca get into his car and then he boarded the vehicle and turned it on. Before leaving, he called 911 to inform them about the two men. Then he proceeded to go. This time he drove at a normal pace; she was also with him on the car so he didn't want to risk making a mistake and endanger her. Also, he expected that the slow ride would give her a chance to calm down. He looked at her every few minutes to see if she was better, but she was stiff and barely breathing. Her eyes were focused on the road, but her mind was elsewhere. - Rebeca, we are home. - Syverson said breaking her trance and brought her in back to reality. She looked at him, then look outside and she set her eyes on him once again. - This is not my place.- she replied. - No, this is my house.- he indicated- There's no way I'm leaving you alone tonight. You're still having panic attacks. C'mon. Let's get you inside. They got inside the house and he made her sit on the comfortable couch. He disappeared into another room and soon enough came back with a blanket. He sat in front of her, in the tea table. He grabbed her hands and cupped them with his hands. He couldn't take his eyes off her. He could still feel her fear. He caressed her hair and called her name, trying to get her attention. Still nothing. He tried "Becky" a few times and then he finally heard her speak again "Beca", she said, "Call me Beca, no Becky. I don't like Becky". "Ok, Beca" he agreed with a smile, glad to hear her speak again. Once again, she broke into tears. Sy sat next to her and pulled her closer, letting her cry on his chest while he stroked her hair. After some time, there were no more tears left to cry and she fell asleep. The morning came and Rebeca woke up. She was lying on the couch in a fetal position, cover by a warm blanket and, as she sat slowly, she saw Sy sitting on a smaller couch close tho the one she was on. He was asleep. It took her a moment to wake up a remember where she was and what happened the night before. She felt sorry for him. Once again she had to bother him to saved her because she seemed to have a magnet for trouble. Counting the time that he stopped the car because she was crossing the street with a red light to prevent hitting her, this was the third time that he saved her. She didn't have to much time to think. After seeing the time, she realized that only had two hours until she had her first tutoring class of the day. She would have loved to call and cancel, but the family paid well and she needed that money. There was no way she would bother Sy again to take her to her place, so she wrote a note letting him know the reason why she left and to thank him for saving her and then grabbed her bag and slowly walked out of the house. Thankfully, thanks to the map, she found her way home and it wasn't that far from his house, just about 25 blocks away. Hours later, as she was walking to another one of her tutoring student's house, she received a call from Sy. - Hi! - she greeted him as she answered the phone. - Beca! Are you ok? Why didn't you wake me up to take you? - he asked worriedly - I'm fine. I didn't want to bother you again. By the way, thank you so much for saving last night. - You have nothing to thank me for and you'll never bother me. Never doubt about calling me for help. - again, Rebeca noticed by the tone of his voice that it was an order. - Ok. I have to end the call Sy. Thanks, again.- she said reaching the doorstep of her student's home. - Alright. I'll check on you later. Bye. -Bye.

As he promised, Syverson texted her twice a day to see how she was. He would call before she began her shift at the grocery store and by the time she was home. Two weeks later, she was leaving the college building, when she saw Sy waiting outside, standing with his back against his car searching for her among the crow of people leaving. As soon as he saw her, he grinned. She smiled back at him and went directly to him. Rebeca wasn't exactly a shy girl, but now, for some reason, she acted that way. - Hi - she said. - Hi - he replied. - I just was close by and wanted to check on you to see how are you doing. Not to call you a liar, but I believe that you could tell me you're fine when you're not just for me not to worry. So, I wanted to see it with my own eyes.- he explained and she laughed - I'm alright. It's not a lie. It's the truth. I'm trying to keep my mind busy so I won't think in anything that worries me, other than exams. -Hi Beca! - scream a girl as she walked towards her and Sy. The girl had curly black hair, brown eyes and was taller than both of them. She had a beautiful chocolate colour skin. She always wore beautiful clothing that made Rebeca envy her a little bit. - Hi Danielle! - Beca said. - Thanks again for helping me today. That math problem was driving me insane. - You're welcome. Maybe you could help me back and save some notes from tomorrow's 9 am class. - You're telling me that you're actually going to miss a class. You? - Danielle asked surprised - Unfortunately, yes. My boss asked me if I could go tomorrow morning because both she and her husband had important things to do. So, I've got to work. - Rebeca explained - Oh, too bad. Well, don't worry, I'll take as many notes as I can for you. -she assured - Thanks a million! - No worries. - the girl said and then looked at Sy who was following the conversation amused. - Hi, I'm Danielle - she introduced herself to him. - Oh, sorry, I'm the worst. Sy, this is Danielle; Danielle, this is Sy. - Rebeca said introducing them. - A pleasure - Sy greeted the young lady as he shook her hand. - The pleasure is all mine. I'm happy to get a chance to meet Beca's boyfriend. - she said smirking. Rebeca wanted to run off; she was unbelievable embarrassed. "Shit" she tough. She was blushing so much her cheeks burn. Sy remained silent. He just smiled at Danielle and looked at Rebeca to see if she knew what she was talking about. - Ok, I'll leave you two lovers alone. Thanks again and don't worry about tomorrow, I got you covered. - she said, winking at Beca and then left. - So, I'm your boyfriend, hu? - Syverson asked amused as soon as he made sure no one will hear them. - I'm sorry. Let me explain.- she apologized- As expected, everyone found out about the incident with Trevor. He couldn't stand the humiliation of people thinking a nobody beat the crap outta him, so he made sure everybody knew you were a military captain; that'd made him lest pathetic on his own eyes. And he also said that you were my boyfriend and you were jealous and that's why you attacked him and that all I said about him trying to hurt me was a lie. At first, I was pissed, but honestly, after hearing that the people who bother me now leave me alone, so I'm relieved. That's why I corrected anyone when they say you're my boyfriend. - That's ok. You did the right thing. - he assured her. - Do you have to go to work? - Sy asked her. - Yes. My shift starts in 40 minutes, so I should go if I don't want to be late. - she replied checking the time on her phone. - C'mon, get on the car. I'll drive you there.- He said as he walked over to the driver's side. - Oh, no. I cannot bother you again. Don't worry, I'm fine walking. - Get in the car, lady. Is an order.- he commanded her using his Captain tone and she obeyed. - So, who's the girl that you were talking to? Is she a friend of yours? - Sy questioned curiously. - More a cool classmate than a friend really.- she explained- She's one the few people that's always been nice to me, but we never hang out outside class. She's like me, a busy girl and a bookworm. - She seemed really nice. Maybe someday when you're on vacation you could hang out with her.- he suggested - Yeah. - she replied and wait a moment before speaking again - I wanted to ask her out on a date because I found out she's also bisexual, but she was dating somebody. I had a little crush on her, I must admit. - Rebeca confessed, smirking. - Do you still like her? - he asked - I find her attractive, yes. But I don't have a crush on her anymore. Once we got closer, I realized that I'd like much more as a friend, if we ever have the chance. - And how about boys or another girl? Do you like anyone? - There's someone on my mind constantly, but there's nothing going on.- she answered, blushing. - Is a classmate? - Nope. I know him from another place. He's older than me and I'm sure he doesn't want anything to do with me. - Well, you'll never know until you tell him.- he told her, offering a smile. A few minutes later, they arrived at the store and when Rebeca was about to get out of the car, Sy asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner after her shift at the store ended. She accepted and wave him as she entered the store.

[housemartius]

i’ve had an hc that dakota is native american for a long time now, and after reading this awesome post i was inspired and like “what if he and piper were cousins??” so let me share some things i’ve imagined about them so far (warning: this is one long ass post):

- they were both born and raised in tahlequah, oklahoma (not in a reservation tho bc there’s no cherokee reservation in oklahoma, rick’s an idiot who doesn’t research anything)

- dakota is two years older than piper and that made him a bit overprotective of her while growing up. even when they were kids, piper got a lot of attention from mostly other boys (which would later make her feel super self conscious of her own looks) and dakota would pick up on her discomfort and shoo away all of them in an instant

- like seriously, he’s a pretty observant kid and piper would always flinch when a boy got too close for comfort. so dakota was always more than ready to help her out

- imagine how overjoyed grandpa tom was when he found out he was going to be a grandpa, twice, in such a short span of time. dakota had barely just turned 1 year old when tristan announces the woman he’s dating is pregnant tom cried so much, bless him

- now grandpa is no fool though. he knew something was up with the ppl his children were dating, he knew they weren’t ordinary folks. and he suspected his future grandchildren wouldn’t be exactly ordinary either. and how right he was

- just a few months after he was born in september 1992, baby dakota was taken on a little trip with his mom and grandfather around tulsa and they came across a huge vineyard

- it’s january and it’s hecking cold (like 50ºF/10ºC) and the vines, as you’d expect, are basically dead. that’s when something remarkable happens: the plants start to reach out towards dakota and the closer he is to them, the livelier they get

- grandpa is shocked to say the least but he plays it cool. he just turns towards his daughter and calmly asks “care to explain please” to which she then proceeds to spill the beans about how she met the roman god of wine whose son is currently being held by grandpa tom

- tom is really surprised that his daughter dated an actual immortal deity from ancient times, or that they even exist at all (he thought greek myths, and therefore roman by extension, were a bunch of bull). yet at the same time he’d been suspecting the dude wasn’t completely human for a while now...

- in the end he happily accepts both his daughter’s love for bacchus (if that’s even who he really is) and the son they had, and never loves dakota any less even now that he knows he’s a demigod

- except they don’t tell tristan bc 1. bacchus told dakota’s mom to keep it a secret (whoops), 2. tristan’s a skeptic who doesn’t believe in any kind of myths so what’s the point and 3. tristan’s sweetheart is pretty high guard about her own identity and grandpa’s noticed this and he thinks she’s hiding the truth from his son for a good reason (again, he is such a skeptical man, he’d probably think they were all insane)

- april 1994. piper is born and an almost 2 y/o dakota is finally introduced to the cousin he’d been hearing so much about

- both love their grandfather and listening to stories about their culture. and grandpa loves that his grand-kids are so keen on learning

- they live a pretty happy childhood overall. apart from dakota’s innate abilities to making vines grow whenever he walks by (though he remains oblivious to this bc his mom goes to great efforts to ensure he doesn’t find out so soon, he’s still a little kid after all), none of his other powers manifest all that much when he’s a toddler. and neither do piper’s

- ofc, being demigods they’re constantly exposed to the danger of being discovered by monsters but they luck out and continue living in ignorant bliss of their godly parentage

- they love being outside. playing, napping, talking, whatever it is, they don’t like being indoors. they’re always running around everywhere, climbing trees, rolling around in the grass, etc it’s a very rare occurrence when they manage to return home with clean clothes

- they just have a looot of energy and they like using it. getting them to calm down is a challenge in itself, they’re always goofing around. whether they’re having a nice family dinner (food fights tend to occur more often than not), or watching cartoons before bedtime (reenacting cool fight scenes is a must!)

- but then one day, just a few weeks after his 8th birthday, dakota shows up at tristan’s house with his mom and she says she needs to talk with his uncle and grandfather

- the kids are told to go play for a little while in the backyard to let the grown ups have some privacy

- dakota is uncharacteristically quiet. piper notices it right away, how her cousin’s shoulders are slacked and his eyebrows furrowed in distress. she asks what’s wrong, what happened to make him so sad

- “i have to move away” he says. piper is shocked, starts asking why. why, where to, and can’t the whole family go with him?

- “no. just me. somewhere far away”. “but why?!”. “because it’ll be bad if i don’t”

- the rest of the day goes by in a blur. piper can’t understand what’s happening. why does dakota have to go all alone? why can’t her aunt go too? why don’t her dad or her grandfather try to stop them?

(- later, when piper demands her dad for explanations, tristan only says what his sister told him: that dakota needs to go somewhere that’ll be better for him, that piper’s aunt can’t take care of him by herself. grandpa tom tells her the same thing whenever piper turns to him but he knows. his daughter told him the truth)

- saying goodbye is the only moment that seems to last an eternity though. piper is full on crying and sobbing, holding on to dakota with all her strength and begging her cousin to stay, stay and everything will be okay bc he’ll be with her and all the people who love him

- dakota cries too, though not as hard. he’s barely keeping it together but he’s the older cousin and he needs to be strong for piper

- inside though he’s terrified of what’s happening to him. to him and to his mom and now his dear little cousin and his uncle and grandpa. he wants to stay but bacchus was clear during his sudden unexpected visit: he needs to go to the wolf house right away

- his mom takes him there. this goodbye is even more terrible than the previous one. in the midst of all the crying he promises that he’ll be okay, that he loves her and will visit as soon as he can

- dakota hadn’t had the fortune (or permission) of visiting his mom and granddad back in tahlequah often. and the few times he had managed, piper had been away with her dad on his trips looking for a job as an actor in los angeles

- one day, now 13 y/o, he was at his mom’s place with his grandfather too, just sitting and talking and enjoying each other’s company when they decided it was time to tell him the horrible news: his grandpa had been diagnosed with lung cancer

- tom reassured him all throughout his grandson’s hysterics that he felt fine and that he was at peace with the situation

- and then dakota asked the dreaded question

- “... how long?”

- “... soon”

- when dakota made it back to camp he started asking around for possible cures, talking with praetors and centurions and just about anyone who might help him

- though in the end he didn’t find any medicine that could possibly save his grandfather

- and it’s not like the romans really cared for helping outsiders either

- the day he got the news grandpa tom had passed away, just a little over 2 months later, he refused to leave his bunk bed for the remainder of it and it took his two centurions to force him out of it the next morning

(- dakota swears that, out of all the days he’d felt the most lonely and in need of the warm comfort of his family, that had been the most painful one he’d endured in his whole life)

(- he also wondered if piper had known about their grandfather’s condition, and for one moment he actually hoped she didn’t just so she could be spared of going through the same despair he and the rest of their family had)

(- he’d also wished, more ardently than ever before, to be able to hug his beloved little cousin again just like he had so many times years before)

- fast forward to 2010. dakota is standing with the rest of the romans at cj, staring at a greek ship that quickly approaches camp

- his long time friend jason is said to be on board and dakota is just dying to give the dude the longest and most bone crushing hug ever

- plot twist: it’s piper who gets the pleasure of receiving the longest and most bone crushing hug ever. but she returns it tenfold rip dakota’s back

- their reunion was a hazard mix of tears, laughter and wrestling. he and jason happily gave piper a tour of the camp, though tbh she didn’t really pay attention to much, catching up with her fave cousin was obviously the priority

- during her quest to save the world, she iris messages dakota as regularly as she can and they talk for hours on end, sharing stories from their past, their family, their beloved grandpa tom whom they missed terribly every single day, everything really

- piper confides in him how much her dad’s lack of interest and pride for cherokee culture has rocked her own, how growing up with him so absent from her life and so worried with rejecting everything cherokee/native american related had made her feel so uncomfortable in her own skin

- dakota takes all this in silence and just lets her get it all out. he hears her every complaint and insecurity and fear. then he starts telling her the stories their grandfather had told them

- he tells at least 2 different ones every night they talk, always with a smile on his face, always trying to replicate the exact same tone and pace their granddad used

- and it eventually gets piper to smile too

- one night it’s dakota who confesses how much he regrets not visiting tahlequah more often, how he wishes he’d spent more time with thomas before he’d passed away, how he wished he’d been with him during those last few days if not to just hear him going on and on about cherokee myths like he loved to

- that gets piper crying in no time. dakota cries too. they just spend a good 10 minutes sobbing together through their reflections in the watery rainbow, neither saying much

- “i’m glad he told us. the stories i mean”, dakota says when they’ve calmed down. “feels like he gave us little pieces of himself bit by bit that’ll never go away”

- “yeah... it really does” 

- when the war’s finally over, piper and dakota visit each other often, though piper’s the one who goes to cj more often since dakota’s a centurion and has his plate full most of the time

- they’re still as goofy and energetic around each other as ever, like the time they spent away from each other was like clicking pause on a movie and now they’ve hit play and continued on from there

- still hate being trapped indoors. when there’s camp meetings they both need to attend they just can’t help but joke around. everyone else dreads going to those now thanks to these idiots

- dakota isn’t as chaotic as piper so he somewhat helps to keep that side of her in check

- when leo accompanies her during her visits though... no point in even trying to hold back this Mess, dakota’s tried before and it was the most stressful and tiring day of his fucking life

- piper constantly teases dakota about his crush on her half-brother michael. he very much regrets the day she ever saw how he acted around the son of venus (a blushy neck scratching mess)

- wow this is getting long fhdkds anyway!! they’re amazing kids who love each other to death and constantly support each other through good and bad times, and they’re proud af to be cherokee and they’ll treasure their beloved grandpa tom and his teachings till the end of their lives, and if anyone ever wants to hear a story, they’re the right kids to go to!

[ellie-sande]

a deanoru analysis from someone that cannot stop thinking about their dumb-asses🥺🥺🥺😩😩

i was meaning to write this when the season came out.... but finals happened so we at it now. right, so at this point, we all know that i love me an interesting queer dynamic (euphoria and cazzie analyses here) and deanoru is by far both the simplest but somehow most intriguing one to dissect.

here’s the fuck whyyyy :)

nico: i feel like nico’s the only character in which clothing and makeup plays an important role in analysis, mostly because she’s a goth kaweeen. i think that nico’s wardrobe (predominantly black with the occasional white article of clothing).... the TASTE of it ALLL. nico usually wears black, so the times in which she’s wearing white are hella significant. i think it’s important that the first time that nico and karolina have a legit convo post-break-up in season 2 occurs when both of them, more importantly, nico, is wearing white. that’s the first time in EPISODES that home bitch is being honest about her fear of herself, the weight that being the leader puts on her, her emotional state, and her absolute REVERANCE for our bby karolina. 

it’s the first time her guard is down completely since before jonah.

and that’s a theme for her wearing white in general. she wears black with white accents in 3x01 in which she’s devastated about the possibility of losing karolina but optimistic in her and her team’s ability to get her back. she wears a white and black outfit when the team searches for alex in 3x08, where she and karolina start to heal as a couple, confess their love for each other, stand by each other. it’s also the ep in which we see nico’s greatest hope. that wedding made me fucking tear up🥺🥺🥺. i think, overall, nico is the most human of all of the runaways because she represents this duality that’s present in a lot of people: she’s an amazing and supportive friend and leader, but uses isolation as her self destructive coping mechanism. she’s passionate and fueled by love, but also extremely broken and scared which leads her to sometimes succumb to the darkness within her. she’s caring, kind, and warm in her own way, even if she tries and fails to put up a hard facade. she’s complex, and that’s what makes her so compelling. 

....also, she protective, but she a smol bean uwu*

karolina: ooooohhh bitch, home girl is soooo much more flawed than people give her credit for. i think people have a tendancy to assume that karolina’s this unproblematic bean that’s perfect, buuuuuuttt... sis. she is sooo much the product of her upbringing, it’s fucking insane. to get the obvious stuff out of the way she’s: nieve, trusting to a fault, overly optimistic, extremely family-oriented (even tho that’s bitten her in the ass a lot), she has this need to be a peacekeeper, to be there for everyone, she has a fear of being alone, has the ability to not be honest, can be pretty selfish sometimes. it’s especially obvious in the scene in season 2 where she confesses she’s been seeing her parents. her first reaction after assuming that nico was okay was that everything was okay and they could go back to how they were, but that’s obviously not the case. in a lot of ways, she betrayed her friends, especially nico (she’s such a fucking puppy, jeSUS). but the interesting thing about her is that most of her flaws are her strengths taken to an extreme, while most of nico’s flaws are her fears overpowering her strengths. ain’t that fucking BEAUTIFUL. the TASte. the ART. moneT WHOOO??? never heard of her

deanoru: the poetry of it allllllll hennyyyy. i see a lot of people thinking that they are foils, which i agreed with for a while, but then... an epiphany occured to me today like the second coming of christ. the reason that nico and karolina are so interesting to watch is because they’re more similar than they are different. they have a lot of the same strengths. nico and karolina are both: caring, kind, passionate, strong-willed, believers, rebellious, family-oriented, protective, intelligent. the difference is their weaknesses. nico can be overcome by her fear of herself or others which leads her to have the ability to be callous, cold, closed-off, a lone wolf. karolina’s weaknesses lie in her strength. that’s what makes them a compelling couple to watch. the difference in their personalities lie in how they attack pain and frustration, and nico has been through the most. i think deanoru’s first scene in the bathroom is so indicative of their dynamic. karolina’s first words to her are that she doesn’t have to hide behind all that makeup and i think that the statement works in two-fold. first is that nico obviously is using makeup as a mask to further isolate herself, which we’ve already established is her form of self-destruction, and throughout the seasons, nico’s most impactful emotional beats are done when she’s almost bare-faced: it a visual queue to the audience that she feels safe enough to let her guard down. BUT the statement is also hella judgemental on karolina’s part, which i think is a part of her arc in season 3. a part of her is scared of nico’s darkness and what could become of it. her biggest fear is losing nico to the darkness. her disdain for witchcraft is mostly rooted in that: a part of her is scared of nico’s darkness and her tendency to use it as a tool for self-destruction.

the finale: that shit hit different. i absolutely loved that they chose to show that nico and karolina weren’t together after the events of the fight. it shows that there were problems that weren’t resolved, especially nico’s tendency to isolate after she feels as though she’s endangered people she loves. it showed that the writers acknowledged that these characters are flawed and human and they let them be that way. they are all driven by familial bond and when a piece of that family is taken away from them, they fall into their old habits. that’s the most human shit i’ve ever seen. but most importantly, this last episode does an amazing job at summarizing the theme of the season: failure is okay and human, and strength is found in love. some people think that the fact that a version of nico and karolina’s doesn’t end happily is depressing or discouraging but i think the opposite. the ending of the show was forgiving on the characters, especially nico, because they were able to change their pasts and make a brighter future for all of them. in the back half of the episode, older deanoru look at baby deanoru having a conversation that probably felt like a resolution to all of their problems in that moment. nico appreciated karolina believing in her and was appreciative of it and they had a wholesome kiss and that was it. nico, being from the future knows that her greatest mistake is not staying next to karolina and growing with her because of her tendency to work on her strengths and run from her weaknesses, to isolate herself. the ending is forgiving and kind in a way that i don’t think i’ve seen enough people appreciate: nico was able to affect her future and make it something better, something that we all we wish we could do and the fact that her biggest regret was shutting karolina out and isolating herself to work on her powers says a lot about their bond. also, that last line from alternate reality karo and nico: promise me that you’ll find me????? absolutely beautiful. do i smell... SOULMATES????

anywhooo, i hope this was satisfactory. lmk what y’all think bc i love a good conversation 😩

[creampiecashton]

tags glossary

I noticed that my 5sos tags are hella wack and I'm the only person who understands them so here’s a post showing what means what:

frivolous sauces - self explanatory, 5 seconds of summer is the lengthier version of 5sos, which many Americans say sounds like 5 sauce. I can’t hear it because my accent doesn’t let that happen, however, it did birth frivolous sauces, simply via relation.

lone - superbloom is a solo project, solo is singular is alone is lone.

fashion - this one means Ashton because not only is he insanely fashionable but his name also sounds like it

miguel - I stole that from an interview the guys did where they were playing tennis (???) and Michael referred to himself as Miguel and I was like aight

lewk - Luke is a lewk. periodt.

caltex - yes this is an oil company. no I do not care. this one’s for Calum, mainly because I had never seen Calum spelt with only one ‘L’ and I was like “huh. Caltex is also spelt with only one ‘L’. they must be the same” so yeah.

soup - okay so i LOVE kaykay but hear me out,, her name is literally kay kay which is KK. like the letters of the alphabet. alphabet soup. now it was either this or white supremacy you guys.

skates - okay this is a long one so buckle up. crystal, is gems, is spirituality, is chakra, is chakla (the punjabi/hindi/urdu word for a rolling board), is rolling board, is roller skates, is skates. love you crystal have a great day.

chickpea powder - yet ANOTHER long one. aight so sierra sounds like tierra (I could have said tiara but whatever) sounds like tiers sounds like cake tiers. what cakes have the most tiers? wedding cakes. ‘but i’m indian, weddings have many stages!!’ you may hear my brain complain, well no worries because we can pick one of the coolest ceremonies, vatna (it’s about being clean and getting ready for the wedding). vatna’s main component is the vatna (obviously????)...an all natural body scrub mixture that mainly includes chickpea powder!! wow!! anyway the punjabi word for chickpeas is also the same word for balls lol. but the english way of saying chickpea actually sounds super cute so sierra deserves this.

teacher - roy english looks like the closeted lesbian english teacher i probably had a crush on when i was 8. you cannot change my mind.

charcuterie - moodboard=foodboard=charcuterie board=charcuterie

cleaning solution - gifs=some people pronounce it as jiff how dare you=an australian cleaning solution called jiff which smells delicious but it’s a cleaning solution so don’t eat it please.

pain :) - I love hands. hands have veins. i also love veins. vein sounds like pain (which is also in fact what hands and veins cause me). therefore, any hand/vein posts are tagged as pain :)

rumplestiltskin - reserved for the DIMPLES. majorly an ash tag but occasionally the others join. this one is dimple becomes rimple (a name, depending on who you’re talking to) becomes rumple becomes rumplestiltskin. also, much like rumplestiltskin the dimples terrorise me and ask for my first born child as collateral.

giuseppe - harry giuseppe, the italian harry potter, sounds like bicep!! therefore, bicep!

silence - alright buckle in buckaroo this is another long one! what do noses have? snot/mucus. but thats already a tag. what for, you may ask? for muke. now, it'd be hella annoying if I tagged nose posts with ‘muke’, so what’s an alternative? muke can be pronounced as moo-k as well, which in hindsight, I could have made the tag about cows but no. I decided to scrap moo-k and go for muke, which also subsequently sounds like mutuals, now it’d ALSO be hella annoying if I used that as a tag for noses. so? I call my mutuals cuties because cuties sounds like muties, but I cant use cuties because im already using that for my mutuals and general people I love! so? muties sounds like muted which is like quiet! the opposite of quiet? noise! a ruckus, even. and the more DIRECT opposite of noise? silence. I also think that its a cool contrast that my nose tag is a word pertaining to one of the OTHER senses. anyway.

twink - this is my eye tag (?) i don’t remember what my train of thought was here because i procrastinated adding it here and now i’ve forgotten but it exist, okay? i think it might have been eyes blink and blink rhymes with twink although i don’t remember so let’s just go with that

lippen- this one is my lip tag and is also the german translation for lips. i actually thought lip becomes blip becomes blimp which was in both world wars which were both blamed on germany and the german translation for lips is lippen

wow... - this is my thirst tag. what more do yall need.

awee - this is my absolutely adorable tag!!! anything that makes me go “aweeee” goes under that tag, relatively self explanatory, actually.

fruit - fashion icons?? but fashion is reserved for ashton and it'd be annoying if i tagged fashion as ashton, so what rhymes with fashion? passion. which can be branched off to passion fruit. shortened to fruit. :)

art - art was going to be fart but i thought people might take it the wrong way, so its the only normal one :) which i think is kinda dope because it adds to the chaos that is my tags :)

fave - this is another version of my thirst tag but it’s more aesthetically pleasing as opposed to horny

disk-sauce - discourse. also 5 Sauce. im australian, it works with my accent.

recs - recs=recommendations!!

cuties! - this is my asks/mutuals/people I love tag. mainly because mutuals becomes muties becomes cuties. listen, it was either this or mutants.

pie - Luke and Calum is cake, what else is almost cake? pie

mammaries - Michael and Calum is malum, honestly im just getting lazy now but they’re kind of related. sidenote: the two do have nice tiddies tho.

mashed potatoes - Michael and Ashton is mashton, or mashed potatoes. also because they’re softies and most likely delicious

money - Calum and Ashton is cashton, cash cash money babeyyyy

eyelashes - Luke and Ashton is lashton, also they both have gorgeous eyelashes so I should not be convicted of mass arson thank you

snot - Luke and Michael is muke. is mucus. is snot. I promise I dont hate them its just how my brain works.

harlem shake - Michael, Ashton and Calum is mashlum. i thought of mashed potatoes, then the mashed potato dance move, then the mosh dance move, then had a separate thought of harlem as in the city, and then i combined harlem and “dance move” and got the harlem shake. 2011 stays winning.

carlton draught - Calum, Ashton and Luke is caluton (?? i think i don’t remember the specifics that i thought of) anyway it sounds like carlton which i could have gone in the footie direction and named them the blues or then gone ahead and called them RNB for rhythm and blues, but instead i went in the alcohol direction because these three most definitely belong in a frat.

sins - Michael, Luke and Calum are Maluke! Horrible! Sounds like malpractice! Which is wrongdoing! Which is sins! Also! Sinful looks! Beautiful boys! Hell’s most devilish soldiers! I hate that I said That!

chandigarh lite - moose moose is moose. is canada. is kaneda. is where majority of punjabi kids immigrate to for a good life. the capital of punjab is chandigarh. love you moose for supporting immigrants!!

north east west - southy but the opposite.

the real mvp - petunia is almost peonie. she’s also significantly more superior to luke. the real most valuable peonie.

my fave scotsman - Duke, duke of edinburgh, edinburgh is in scotland, calum’s half scottish, therefore the baby is my fave scotsman