#inevitable boyfriends 😈

[hazbinbossbrainrot]

When you realise:

Blitz didn’t exactly deny that Stolas wasn’t his “boyfriend”

[rustboxstarr]

🥀First times for everything🥀

Summary: Just some good ole' fashioned grinding my guys

Pairings: Virgin!Eddie x Plussize!Reader

CW: kissing, groping, smut, grinding, cumming in boxers 😈, slight miscommunication, new relationship, reader referred to as fat by herself because what is so wrong with that? it's an adjective!

Word count: 3.9k

A/N:This was supposed to be a blurb, I very obviously failed..

Check out my other works!

You strolled down the hall adjoining the cafeteria with an arm laced with Robins as you laughed about a previous endeavor in class, Jason had been told to shut it after talking all class and almost peed himself when he wasn't excused to the bathroom with a pass. The early June weather didn't feel as if you had just left spring, it felt like you were in the pique of august in some exotic country judging by the sun blazing down on you, allowing your body to break out in a light sweat whenever you were outside too long. The temperature was up in the three digits category every single day, so automatically baggy jeans and t-shirts turned into shorts and the occasional crop top. Today was that day, you had gotten a few stares, but that was inevitable being a fat girl wearing shorts that barely covered your ass and naturally weighty breasts on display under the white halter top, you would like to think it was a modest amount of cleavage, unfortunately that was only the case for you, for others you looked like you might have been trying too hard, there was no way you were going to care however, it was too damn hot outside to dress any lighter than this. You were pleasantly surprised that the shorts hadn't been bothering you but you dismissed the fact of no chafing due to the short walks between classes and cool air blasting through the school leaving your thighs dry and smooth as they rubbed together when you walked. 

“Oooh, loverboy is here” Robin grabbed your attention and drew it down to the end of the hall to see your boyfriend leant up against the lockers, black t-shirt with some band on it you couldn't read from so far away and a simple pair of green cargo shorts. “oh and he’s waiting by your locker, how cute” Robin grinned sarcastically. You rolled your eyes at her antics, “Oh I just realized you never told me if you.. you know” she widened her eyes excitedly, “Jesus Robin, you are too invested in other people's lives” that was not the answer she was looking for and that was made clear when she shook her head expectantly. “If you must know” you rolled your eyes again “No Eddie and I have not had sex”. You stopped in the middle of the hall, pulling her to the side so you wouldn't arrive where Eddie was, mid conversation. 

“Why not dude? What on earth are you waiting for?” she was undoubtedly exasperated with the situation, you were together, you had talked about sex with Eddie and she had heard from Steve that he had briefly ventured into the subject so what was the big deal?!

“Everyones not sexcrazed teenagers like you and Steve, humping like bunnies” you sneered “Ew when you say that it sounds like you mean were fucking each other” she pulled a face. “Obviously not, I just mean, Steve dates anyone in sight” you gestured to yourself, as if saying he even dates fat girls  “-and you and Vickie seem to be how do I say this?” you pondered “Horny as fuck” you grinned. “So are you and Eddie” she drew her eyebrows up dramatically as if she knew something you didn't. “We don’t know that, for all I know Eddie isn't even ready to do that stuff” you explained. “Welllll” Robin bounced on the balls of her feet “I mean, he’s a 19 year old guy, they're all horny fucks. He might just be waiting for you to tell him you're ready” that was in fact the case, but you didn't know that. 

“I feel like if he was he would say something” you raised your eyebrows as you began treading slowly down the hall again, “You realize you haven't told him you're ready” she rolled her eyes out of your view “I think he would know I’m ready” you countered.

“Sure, because boys are so well known for their knowledge of the female species, Eddie!” she held her hands out as a greeting. Eddie frowned slightly at her dramatic hello “Hey.. Robin” he answered her cautiously. “Alrighty well I’m gonna head to History, I’ll leave you too lovebirds be” she smirked earning a sneer from you as she began walking. She turned around behind Eddie's back to face you and made a lude scene in the hall, pretending to thrust into someone from behind while making awfully exaggerated faces of pleasure. Your stare at her drew Eddie's attention making him look behind him, Robin stopped abruptly and spun around to speed walk to class. 

“Hey” you smiled, stretching up to place a peck to his lips which he happily returned. “Only have a few minutes, I have history too” he explained as you opened your locker to switch out your books “But I wanted to ask, um Wayne, is uh out tonight, if you want to you know come over, we don't have to do anything!” he was quick to stress that fact “but I just thought it might be nice, watch Tv without a 60 year old man hovering around us” he grinned “and uh we got the AC going so it'll be cool” he brought his hand to the back of his neck to scratch and it with the pads of his fingers. 

“Yeah, I’d love to, I’ll just tell Steve I don't need a ride and I’ll go home with you yeah?” you closed your locker, limply holding your math textbook between both hands resting on your stomach. “Yeah sounds good” he smiled down at you, as you met his eyes you saw his attention was brought further down, to your boobs which were now firmly pressed together from the way you were holding your textbooks. You felt slightly awkward under his gaze but the moment only lasted a second or so before he cleared his throat and looked back at you “I’ll uh, be in the parking lot when you end” “Can’t wait” you grinned as you pecked him on the lips again. Before you could draw back Eddie's hand was quick to grab at your neck to hold you to him for just a few seconds longer. You swallowed as you drew apart, “Ok, bye” you forced a smile and quickly walked away. God could you be more awkward??

– 

“You ok?” Robin asked as Eddie folded himself into the wooden chair next to her. “What? Oh, yeah all good” he smiled but Robin only squinted at him, a slight smirk played on her lips as she leant back, waiting for the class to start. As casual as she could be she commented “Cute top Y/N wore today right?” she was trying very hard to fight the smirk, it was proven even more difficult as she turned her head to the side to see Eddie with raised eyebrows, he coughed “Uh, yeah, didn't- didn't really notice it” he tried explaining away. Robin only nodded, silently laughing maniacally in her head. 

–

“Welcome to my humble abode” Eddie grinned as he swung through the door gesturing you to enter first, you chuckled “I’m familiar with it”, both of you slipped off your shoes and dropped your school bags to the floor. “So uh” Eddie clapped his hands together before holding them firmly behind his back, trying not to rock back and forth with nerves “What do you want to do, we can watch a movie, listen to music in my room and uh…” he wasn't sure how exactly he had planned on finishing that sentence. “Make out?” you grinned “I-I mean, only- only if you want to” what was his issue with just saying one word once when he was talking, shut the fuck up Eddie, why are you so nervous, shes your girlfriend you idiot. 

You looked up at him through squinted eyelids, tilting your head to the side “Do you want to?” you had kissed before, sure, indulged in a little tongue, sat next to each other on a bench and awkwardly facing each other but never close to each other, not in someone's bed. “Only if you want to” he deadpanned now, head tilting down to look you straight in the eye, wishing he could understand what was going through your head. You were about to repeat his words back to him, or even say you wouldn't mind it, but maybe if you were clear with Eddie he would be clear with you so you opted for saying it right out “I want to” Eddie's eyes widened. “Do you?” you asked slowly, voice slightly firm “Y-yes, yes” he was nodding vigorously “I want to” you giggled at him “Well come on then” you slipped your palm into his, letting him stumble with you to his bedroom. Before you had a chance to sit down Eddie asked “Music?” trying to avoid your gaze. “Yes” you stated looking him dead in the eyes before grinning “But I’m picking”. 

Eddie clambered onto his bed as you went through music collection. How was he supposed to sit, in the middle against the headboard? To the side so you could sit next to him? Should he lie down? Would you be comfortable with lying down or would he seem like a creep? Was he supposed to be on top? Fuck he was getting in his head, fucking relax. He chose to sit in the middle of the bed, resting against the headboard, this way if you wanted to you could.. sit in his lap.. or next to him, he made sure there was still room for you. 

Just as he was trying to relax and calm his nerves he looked over at you bent at the waist to read the backs of each cassette. His heartbeat rose and an audible gulp was heard through the room as he noticed you. With your particular position your shorts had risen up your hips, wedging between your thighs, seam pressing at your puffy cunt and giving him a clear view of half your ass. He tried to look away, find just one other thing in the room that could catch his interest but it was impossible, his eyes snapped back to you, he rolled his eyes back as if just the sight of you alone was giving him pleasure, which, it was. He took the opportunity to sneakily and quietly adjust himself, forcing his now hard cock to sit straight and under the hem of his boxers, that would definitely make his little issue less noticeable. 

You stood up only a moment later, popping in the A side of the cassette Whodini, Escape. It was a surprise to see Eddie actually had Hip-pop in his house but judging by the size of his collection it seemed reasonable. You rocked your head from side to side with the beat of the music as you turned to Eddie, who sat fiddling with his rings in his lap. Now it was your turn to freak out about the sitting position, you pushed it down and took a breath. You weren't necessarily that excited about sitting on top of Eddie, you were heavy, what if you were too heavy? What if he didnt like you sitting in his lap? But you chose to power through, climbing onto the bed and swinging a leg over his and settling on his mid thighs. Eddie's wide eyes stared up at you, it was unbearable, you didn't want to think you did something wrong so you just quickly attached your lips to his. 

Eddie closed his eyes with a sigh, releasing the tension in his shoulders. As your hands grazed his arms and settled on each side of his neck Eddie drew his hands up to hold lightly at your waist. The kiss lasted a few seconds before you drew back to look at him, you didn't really get a chance though because soon enough Eddie leaned forward searching your lips again, with gentle movements you got him to settle back against the headboard and pecked against his lips. As you kissed him again you felt Eddie's tongue poking slightly at your flesh, nonverbal asking you to part your lips, you did, and you almost swooned when you felt his tongue graze yours, cinnamon gum tasting at the tip of your tongue. A low groan spilled from Eddie's lips as he grew more brave and licked more of your tongue. It was as if both of your bodies just knew and molded together, tongues swiping at each other with growing confidence and force. Eddie's hands began to grip harder at your hips making you notice it more, you chanced it and grabbed his right hand. 

His grip immediately loosened, thinking he might have held you too hard but gasped when he felt you guide his hands to your boob. He muttered a “fuck” against your lips as his fingers pushed into the soft skin. His grip on your hip went back to its former strength as he palmed at you desperately. You hummed against him at the feeling and continued kissing him. Relishing in the feeling of Eddie's greedy hand altering between squeezing harshly and simply holding you. 

He couldn't hold it in anymore though, he was straining desperately against his boxers and he needed some sort of release. You made a shocked whine when his hand left your boob to find its place on your hip again. Eddie forcefully pulled you flush against his chest, moving you from his thighs to sit right down on his clothed cock. You let out a loud gasp as you felt his hard length pressing right against your covered cunt, you parted your thighs to open your lips up to sit firmly on him, allowing his previous adjustment to sit deliciously pressed to your clit. Eddie's hands instinctively pushed over your shorts as he moved his hands from your hips to grab a hefty handful of your ass, causing you to push down on him. You let out a low moan at the feeling, desperately kissing his lips again to taste him. 

When Eddie pulled you towards him with his grip still firm on you over the denim, you pulled away from him. Wide eyes staring down at him in surprise. Eddie's lips curled into a slight smirk and adjusted his footing on the bed, to push you up against him with his knee as his hands encouraged you to grind against him, his hands pushing you back and forth until you got the memo and began grinding against him. One hand left his shoulder to grip at the headboard behind him, supporting you in grinding against him in a particularly hard stroke as you watched Eddie's mouth fall open and his eyes flutter closed at the sensation. You forced your hips forward again, a long stroke where you could feel your clit hit slightly past the ridge of his head earned a loud groan from Eddie as his head fell back, hair brushing lightly against your hand. 

With each movement of your hips, slowly but each stroke daring longer and longer Eddie groaned beneath you, suddenly you missed the touch of his lips against yours so you bent down slightly to capture his plump flesh in a light bite which turned into a kiss. Eddie grasped desperately at the fat of your ass as he timidly licked into your mouth. The long strokes ran faster as you found your position above him and confidence overthrew your nervousness, you hungrily grinded against his cock, the seam of your shorts perfectly placed against your clit as the first thrust of his hips forced it harder into the delicate nub. 

With that first thrust you couldn't help the loud slightly pornographic moan that fell from your lips, it had Eddie slowing his tackle on your mouth to watch in awe as he thrusted again, swallowing hard at the sound of a second moan. With the release of his lips you closed your eyes, your head rolling over on your shoulders to face the ceiling. Eddie stared at you, his mouth falling open as he watched your face intently. He thrust his hips again, harder this time to hear a now proper loud sultry moan echo in the room. Had you opened your eyes you would have seen the surprise and excitement on is face at your reactions, but you were too focused on revelling at the fact that your clit was being treated with perfect friction with each passing second. 

His hands went back to forcing you back and forth over him, the efforts of his knee, his hands, your hips and his hands moving you back and forth made you move faster and faster against him. Unabashedly your moans picked up to short and high pitched with each force of your hips. Eddie groaned as you purposely pushed your weight down on him and it distracted him from watching you. He went back to falling against the headboard with his eyelids shut but eyes rolling to the back of his skull beneath them. 

His groans of delight turned into deep moans when the pace picked up to impatiently fast, rubbing over his dick as quickly as you could. Not only was he getting some much needed relief but soon he felt the relief turn into active pleasure, his eyes flew open in an instant, fuck if you continued like this he was going to cum in his jeans. Jesus christ he would look so pathetic if he couldn't even hold it when you were simply making out. Was this making out? You weren't even kissing him?-

On the other side of the interaction was you, eyes squeezed tightly shut as your mouth dropped open to an exaggerated ‘o’ simply in the moment and not caring one bit that you might complete, it wasn't even the possibility, you knew that with only another minute you would come. And you chased that while picking the pace up once again averaging four strokes with each second, tits bouncing as you pushed yourself down on him.

-Would you be grossed out if he came? Would it be weird? Fuuuuck he was clenching his stomach now, willing his body to slow down, but he couldn't when you felt so damn good. “Shit” it was the first word you had said since walking into his room, and it snapped him right out of his overthinking “- Eddie, I’m gonna cum” you whined. “Wait really?” hang on, if you were cumming, he could too right? “Yeah” it was an answer to his question but it came out as a long moan as you rocked against him. Well that was all the answer Eddie needed and he relaxed, he was shocked that it was even possible but he forced you to rock faster and faster, now fully accepting the pleasure it was causing him. You moans came out louder and louder, almost like high pitched squeaks with each thrust. 

They grew shorter and louder, building up to the inevitable orgasm you were experiencing, you repeated a string of “fuck, fuck, fuck” until finally Eddie heard one loud scream of a moan as your head became even heavier on your shoulders forcing you to almost fall onto your back before Eddie reached up quickly to hold at your back, one hand tightly wrapped around your waist while one splayed between your shoulderblades. Your hand moved from the headboard to grip at his shoulders as you rocked through your orgasm. Eddie had been so fixed on watching you that he hadn't even realized he too was at the brink of the edge “Mother fu- SHIIIIIT” he groaned as he curled in on himself, his forehead finding support against your cleavage as his body portrayed the action of a dry heave. He felt the thick ropes of cum shoot out of his slit to paint the inside of his boxers and create a sticky mess. 

You were now panting heavily as a hand found its way to slither through his curls and hold you softly against your boobs while Eddie shook beneath you. When you finally came down from your high, only 15 seconds after the fact, you became aware that Eddie was still seemingly cumming. You watched in shock as he groaned beneath you and shook uncontrollably until finally what must have been a whole half minute he stilled and heaved heavily. His heavy breathing forces your hand on his shoulder to follow up and down. 

You giggled at him as Eddie moved from your tits to fall back against his pillows, a light sheen of sweat holding his bangs to his forehead as he panted. “Jesus, is this how you normally are?” you joked “Gonna get me pregnant if you cum that hard, probably break the condom” Eddie's eyes opened to look at you through a frown of confusion “I don't know” you answered sheepishly at your weird joke, but Eddie only burst out into a loud laugh, it was intoxicating and led you to join in as well.

The laughter finally died down “I have actually never cum that hard in my life, so no need to worry” he joked. “I’ve uh never actually uh done this before” he gestured between your bodies “Or anything really” you couldn't help the snort that left your throat, Eddie went back to frowning at you “I’m, I’m sorry” now you couldn't help that the loud obnoxious giggle “no no really I’m sorry” you breathed, why was this even funny you had no idea “I, uh, I kinda figured, you didn't really make a move” you explained. 

Eddie pulled a face “Hey, I didn't make a move because I wanted to be respectful of you” he argued “I didn't know if you were like, ready for stuff like this yet” he explained. “Oh that's so sweet” a squeak bubbled up behind your lips as you fought hard not to laugh again “What is so funny?!” Eddie asked exasperatedly, you instinctively went to cover your mouth as you scrunched your face up “It's not funny I swear” you told him after taking a deep breath. “Well it seems to be for you”, you looked at him with a much needed serious expression “It's not funny, it is really sweet, it’s just that, I dated Steve” Eddie shook his head desperately, while blinking profusely with his eyes closed “Sorry, dated? I thought you said you went out like one time” Eddie stressed the one by holding his finger out. You grabbed it and laced your fingers with his. “I didn’t want to tell you because I knew I’d scare you off, and I really wanted you to ask me out” you gave him an apologetic look “Robin, kinda told me to wait with that whole thing, she said you'd be insecure” 

“Fucking Robin” Eddie scoffed, with a roll of his eyes before he they suddenly zoned in on you again “Wait, so how experienced are you?” he asked. “Well I’m not a virgin” Eddie's face fell at that “But!” you interjected before he could say something “If it helps, I’ve never cum that quickly or hard with Steve, or ever really” at that fact Eddie's face broke into a grin “That does help actually” you smiled at him.

[struckd0wn]

Nobody talks about Shy tops and their equality shy bottoms enough so I will write it myself 😈

𝐒𝐡𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐩!𝐒𝐦𝐨𝐤𝐞 × 𝐒𝐡𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Smut and some fluff ig, kinda sappy LOL :3

18+, mdni

Both of you are too shy to initiate intimacy so it gets awkward when you're both in the mood but both to scared to make a move until eventually you both just explore

You and Tomas sit side by side on your shared sofa. You're both visibly antsy and desperate for one another but both of you are to scared to just reach out. Your eyes leave the television screen, examining your boyfriend's face. His strong jawline shifts as he clenches his teeth, watching you watch him from the corner of his eye. Eventually Smoke turns to look at you, catching your eyes. His face lights up bright red and you assume your cheeks are burning as well. The eye contact last a couple of seconds before the both of you collide roughly, leting out all of your pent up energy out.

Asking for thing is also difficult for the both of you. Mumble out a request, blush covering their face, only for the other to not hear. Repeating their selves, blush worsening as they see their partner blush at the suggestion.

"Hey love, Can I... eat you out." You look up to him from your phone, asking him to repeat himself as you didn't quite hear him. Tomas's face is bright red and his blue eyes refuse to meet yours. "Can I eat you out." The elder tells you again, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. You're almost speechless, taking your turn to blush a dull pink over your cheeks. You nod your head and your lover lights up immediately, dragging you along to the bedroom.

During Intimacy it's not to bad, the two of you are usually too caught up in the pleasure to feel embarrassed, but sometimes it's inevitable.

Tomas groans softly, his calloused fingers run through your hair as you bob up and down on his swollen cock. He opens his eyes, averting his gaze down to you in between his legs. The sight of you is almost to much to handle, your puffy lips on his erection, smaller hands wrapped around his shaft, tear filled eyes looking back up at him. Smoke burns, turning to look away, bashful and in a bit of disbelief at how good you look. You burn too, embarrassed as he watched you shamelessly choke down his length like it was nothing.

The aftermath is the most embarrassing part for the both of you, unsure of what to say or how to continue after such sinful activities.

Tomas leans over you, huffing heavily after finishing inside of you. Your legs quiver around him, eyelids drooping at your sudden tiredness. Your lover watches you from above, one hand holding him up and the other softly caressing you cheek. You stare back up at him, quickly feeling more embarrassed by the second, pulling up the blanket to cover your reddening face. Smoke laughs nervously, leaning down to hide his own face in the crook of your neck, turning both of you on your side to cuddle for the rest of the night.

a/n: sorry I've been gone so long LOL, kinktober burned me out horribly but I'm back >:3, I'll get to my requests soon I promise. I was sick and had covid the last 2 times I wanted to write the universe DID NOT WANT ME WRITING SMUT. anyways, I'll try to write more I promise :D!!!

[zepskies]

Omgggg i loved your “love actually” one shot, it is truly the best Christmas film about!

Which got me thinking, Halloween, what would Soldier boy be like around autumn, does he like when his girlfriend forces him to dress up? I doubt it. Or when she had a marathon of horror films…🎃 and baked apple pie and had thriller by Michael Jackson on repeat!

Hey, hun!

Omg thanks so much! Love Actually (the movie) is the absolute best. And I had sooo much fun writing "Love Actually!"

But that's such a great question... To be honest, I think he would say "fuck no" to actually dressing up in a Halloween costume. 😂 We already know how he feels about capes...

The closest he might get (with a lot of cajoling and bribing on your part) is one of the older versions of his super suits, if he still has them. Or literally dressing in a black normal dress suit and saying, "What? I'm Bruce Wayne." 😈

But he would most definitely do the horror movie marathon with you (smirking and wrapping an arm around you when you inevitably hid your face in his shoulder during The Exorcist).

He would 💯 be stealing candy out of the bowl. Unapologetic when you glare at him. "Damn it, Ben. That's for the kids!"

He would devour apple pie and tolerate the first few repeats of "Thriller," until he gets so annoyed that he yanks your phone away and changes the song himself. "I can't fucking take it anymore! He may be the King of Pop, but this shit's gotta go."

Ben would, however, want to help you pick out your costume. Sluttier the better, of course. 🙄 He's nothing if not predictable there.

Unless you're going to a party though. Then he'd want you to keep it classy and sexy but not too sexy. He doesn't want to spend the whole night keeping an eye out for (who he deems, in his mind) other skeevy bastards.

You would hate for him to break your friends, so you'd probably compromise with him. But at the end of the night, maybe you give your boyfriend a little "peep show," so to speak.

Thanks so much for your question! This was too fun! I'm going to put a new section in my Soldier Boy Masterlist for "headcanons and imagines."

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[hotluncheddie]

mmmphhh just…

steve using eddie’s body as a stress ball. when the two are lounging around the house, steve usually has at least one hand pawing at eddie’s tummy, thighs, chest, you name it. he likes to jiggle the new layer of fat and sink his fingers in, it just feels so nice to be close to eddie and feel just how cared for his boyfriend is. it’s not sexual (even though it definitely ends that way sometimes) so sometimes the two forgetting just how intimate the act is. steve constantly has to stop himself from reaching under eddie’s arms and squeezing eddie’s perky tits whenever the grocery store is stressful or grabbing a handful of eddie’s ass (usually dangerously close to his taint) when he feels drowsy towards the end of the annual educator celebration (steve works at a school in my brain).

one day, it’s particularly bad at work. the kids mouthed off, the other staff forgot to mention an important (and long) afterschool training, and he left his lunch on the counter. by the time steve gets home, he just wants to relax in his bed with eddie and make out before going to bed at 8:30. when he turns the lock on their house, eddie rushes to greet him (not unusual), and before even taking off his coat steve gets a huge handful of eddie’s ass and starts kissing his neck between complaining about his day. he knows something is wrong when eddie pushes him off quickly, and that’s when he notices that joyce and hopper are seated at their coffee table with cups of tea, staring at the two men.

shit. steve had totally forgotten that eddie had invited them over to talk about the kitchen remodel. both couples are furiously red and hopper coughs before greeting steve (who might just sink into the floor), but after steve takes off his shoes and grabs a cup of tea (furiously texting eddie from the kitchen while he does so), the conversation continues mostly normally with just a hint of awkwardness.

the older two finally leave after a painstaking conversation about different oven models, and as soon as the door swings shut, steve has eddie pinned to the wall. he bites eddie’s soft jawline and growls his frustration, while eddie guides his hands to pull down his boxers. when it’s discovered that eddie was secretly plugged and ready the whole time joyce and hopper were there, ready for steve’s inevitable grabbiness, eddie spends the evening getting folded in half, fat jiggling and rippling as steve fucks him so hard he forgets his name.

SHORT BECAUSE I HAVE A COMMITMENT BUT UGHHH -🦂

🦂 !!!!! U ARE SEND ME THIS AND CALL IT SHORT?? NAY!! ITS WONDERFUL AND SO SO JUICY!!!

its all sooooo cute though. eddie steve’s lovely chubby stress ball

steve coming home like: :( tits pls? 👉👈

and eddie says: of course! a belly too for u my love

steve: :)

*the ending with the plug 👹😈🥴 so gooooooood but i went a little soft with them hehe hope u like…

but they are just such a cute like touchy couple and it’s all so mindless at this point but they just always want to be touching eachother in some way if they can.

it being a stress reduction this for steve tho, there’s something so cute about that, so lovely and innocent. like eddie is really steve’s biggest comfort and support. just there as his safe space and his person, to notice how he feels and draw it out of him and let him seek comfort. until he doesn’t have to draw it out at all, steve’s just comfortably enough to let it out, ask for what he needs and take it, because eddie has made it clear that it’s okay.

like maybe steve sometimes has to kinda drop into sub space but it’s not always in a sexual way. it’s just the need to intimacy and care and turning his brain off for a while when he needs it and feels safe. so like after that really long week steve was dying to get home to eddie, to his safe space, and could feel that he needed to drop, needed that extra. so hopper and joyce being there kinda sends him spiralling, he forgot and he’s off kilter and it’s hard to get through the conversation. eddie really taking over and helping to organise - not really making decisions but mapping it out so they could talk again when steve was more there. they leave after about an hour, understanding steve is tired, caring and telling him that he should rest. not annoyed but a little part of steve wonders if they are, if they were offended seeing him squeeze eddie like he did then barely able to follow the conversation. but he also knows he needs it, and he was on his best behaviour the rest of the time they were there, only daring to hold eddie’s hand for a stretch.

and then eddie’s coming back from waving them away, hands on steve’s shoulders in the kitchen, manouvering steve back to how he was when he first came in. hands back on eddie’s ass, face back in his neck. prompting steve to take what he needs, to settle finally. whispering in his ear about how good it feels to be in his arms, how he missed him today, how he’s so good and they’ll sort the remodelling and itll be so lovely, ‘but let’s not think about that tonight hm? let’s make you something to eat and get some sleep yeah?’ and steve is so do relieved, he melts into eddie. reassured and able to finally let go.

and that leaves them on the couch, steve’s head on eddie’s thigh, curled up under a blanket, feeling eddie’s soft pyjama pants against his cheek. face tucked up agains eddie’s belly, mouthing at it or rubbing his forehead against it. eddie had tucked his t-shirt up for him so steve could get lost in the skin on skin, feeling how warm eddie’s is, loving how his belly sits in his lap and steve can sink so far into it he can’t breathe, if he wanted. he leaves absent kisses every so often, breathing deep and listening to the sound of eddie finishing his third helping of dinner. sinking further into the comfort and warmth, mind foggy and syrupy and just repeating to himself that he’s eddie’s and he’s safe and he’s a good boy.

eddie’s running his fingers absently through steve’s hair, engrossed in the movie he put on. steve grunts and rolls up to go to the bathroom, keeping the blanket tucked around himself so it’s less painful to be away from eddie. he heads back but stops at the kitchen to get water. he gets eddie the cookies joyce brought over with her, knowing eddie likes something sweet in the evening. steve hands the cookies over feeling a little shy, but eddie smiles at him; ‘sweet boy, thank you baby.’ and steve tingles all over at the praise, eyes going glassy and he tucks himself up even closer into eddie, sleepy and happy and so so in love.

[kingdaddydaichi]

Dadchi Sawamura Headcanons

dilf!daichi sawamura x reader (fem) || n/sfw. mdni. shotgun (mention). pregnancy sex. sfw at first then the list devolves into naughtiness 😈

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” - theodore hesburgh

Daichi Sawamura swears by this sentiment.

His children (in birth order): Daddy’s Girl #1, Daddy’s Girl #2, Mama’s Boy. 

Tells people the kids got his good looks because you still have yours. Aww. 

Poor Daichi laughs nervously every time he comes home to find that the girls have once again dressed their 3-year-old brother in a princess costume - complete with a tiara - and he’s got fake makeup all over his face and his son is just deadass standing there looking like Twisted Sister, I’m done. 💀

You’re the “just wait until your father gets home” mom. 

His kids are so well-behaved though? Very good manners. 

Unironic Dad of the Year candidate. 

He may be strict but he loves and is so proud of his kids. They’ll always have everything they need and a lot of what they want (though they’ll have to earn it as they get older). 

“Go the fuck to sleep!” - Daichi Sawamura at least one night a week until all of his kids are over the age of 10. 

OMFG DAD SNEEZES - so loud! If you’re minding your business quietly and he sneezes in the next room, you damn near jump out of your skin. “DAICHI! STOP SNEEZING SO LOUD!! YOU'RE SCARING THE CHILDREN!!” Daichi from the next room: ”GOOD!!” 

You love this man so much.

Volleyball Dad™️

When his kids act up, they know they’re in trouble because Daichi just stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at them with the most severe look in his eyes. It has the same effect it had on the team back at Karasuno.

His kids HATE driving lessons with him. Not only is he their protective father, he’s also a cop. Can you imagine? Poor things. 

Teaches all his kids how to change a tire, especially his girls. 

Domesticated af. Will clean, do laundry, cook, change the babies’ diapers, and mow the lawn. Cooking is one of those mundane things he looks forward to doing with you while you feed each other tastes of what you’re making.

Expects the children to ask, “may I please be excused?” before getting up from the dinner table. 

He doesn’t interfere with the inevitable sibling rivalries between his kids. If they’re fighting over something he’ll keep an eye on them, but wants to let them solve their own problems when possible. If it starts to get out of hand though, he’ll step in. 

Usually doesn’t have to do much more than gruffly say “alright, that’s enough…” and peace is restored.

His kids all love and respect their dad. 

He’s hard on them and pushes them to do their best. Has high expectations of them - work hard, stay out of trouble, make good grades, mind your curfew, obey your mother. 

Daichi is observant and highly intuitive, so he can read his kids exceptionally well. If they’re down about something or struggling somehow, he just knows. 

And he knows just the right thing to say or do to give them guidance. He may not be very good at helping them navigate their emotions, but he gives practical advice in such a warm, loving way. And I think they actually appreciate that more than if he just talked about their feelings with them because they already get that from you. He listens to them but is relatively quick to help them move toward a practical solution in a validating way. 

Daichi is so PROTECTIVE, ESPECIALLY OF HIS GIRLS.

Can we please take a moment to imagine and appreciate Daichi Sawamura with teenage daughters? 

I pity the fools who take his girls out on dates - whether it’s their 1st date or 21st date makes no difference. 

Need I remind you what he growled at Suga when Kiyoko held Suga’s hands (in the dub)? 

“Whatever you do to her, I’ll do to you.”

But when he said it to your daughter’s boyfriend, it was with a bone-crushing shake of the hand and a smile.

He’s the dad that sits on the front porch with a shotgun laying across his lap while he waits on his daughter to get home. The boy’s car pulls up 20 minutes before curfew. She walks up and chuckles at him and says “Oh, Daddy” while patting his head before going inside. 

But Daichi doesn’t budge. He just sits there and narrows his eyes at her date, staring him down to assert his dominance until the boy quickly pulls away.

His daughters’ boyfriends are soooo good to them, partly because they know they’ll end up naked in a ditch somewhere if they’re not lol. They’re so scared of Daichi. It’s cute. They always address him as “sir” and “Mr. Sawamura”. 

Cries, sobs even at both his daughters’ weddings. 

He legitimately ugly cried at his first daughter’s wedding when she turned to him before he handed her off to her soon-to-be-husband and said, “You’ll always be the first man I ever loved. You taught me how I should expect to be treated by a man. I won’t let you down, Daddy.” 

He’d been holding it together until that happened, then the levee broke and this grown ass police sergeant fucking LOST IT as she hugged him and kissed his cheek. (Like he did when Kiyoko brought back the team’s ‘tobe’ banner omg he was so cute 🥹😢)

Omg his girls? D A D D Y ‘ S G I R L S!! Even in adulthood they’ll throw their arms around his neck and kiss him on the cheek saying “I love you, Daddy!” when they come home to visit. Daichi always gets the biggest grin on his face when they do that. 

Yes, he’s protective of them but he doesn’t have to be. They learned from him what to expect from a gentleman and they won’t settle for anything less. And he’s so proud of them for that. He beams knowing that there’s a part of him that shines through his girls that won’t let them be treated as anything less than ladies. 

Dad Jokes™️ (I laugh so hard at dad jokes y’all ngl). But the kids groan when their father shamelessly laughs at his own jokes. 

Sexiest motherfucking dad bod ever. I have yet to hear even a single person disagree with me on this. It’s basically canon. But he’s so insecure about it? He needs you to occasionally wrap your arms around him from behind and grab his belly and tell him how much you love every last inch of his body because your man is still smokin’ hot.

His hairline might recede a little bit, but he’ll have a full head of hair for the rest of his life. 

During all 3 of your pregnancies, Daichi will 19388% buy you the things you crave. You want pickles and ice cream? He’ll cringe, but you can bet your sweet ass your husband will come home with a jar of pickles and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s with as much pride as a caveman who brought home fresh kill for his woman and unborn child. 

“Daichi,” you’ll whine, “I want a cheese and potato chip sandwich!” 

He’s already IN the kitchen putting mayo, mustard, and cheese on bread before piling on a handful of chips and bringing it to you. You’re carrying his child (quite beautifully he might add). The least he can do is feed your cravings (within reason…if you crave dirt, he won’t be giving that to you). 

He even tries a bite of your sandwich and is like “Hmm! That’s pretty good, actually!” 

“Right? It’s what the baby wants. Must be a Sawamura thing…”

Speaking of babies…

⚠️ NSFW AHEAD ⚠️

Daichi is upright and proper in public/around others but in the bedroom he turns into a beast. Making babies with him is so much fun?? 

You probably had all of them relatively young. ≥30-ish?

Maybe you have a fourth kid later in your 30s because you slipped up and forgot your birth control. If not, it’s because Daichi got the old snip-snip. 

He just loooooves to cum inside you. It just feels so intimate for him. If he has to pull out or wear a condom he’ll feel less emotionally connected to you. Being inside you raw makes him feel so close and in tune with you. 

Your husband’s breeding kink game is STRONG. Each of the 3 times you told him you were pregnant he got hard. He was happy, yes, but also hard. So you said, “Daichi! I’m pregnant!” And he smiled and looked at the various positive home tests, hugged you, kissed you, kissed you harder, rolling his tongue over yours. 

His hands were all over you - your belly, your hips, your thighs, your ass. His brow was furrowed, eyebrows drawn downward as he backed you up against the bathroom counter. “Daichiiii…” you giggled as he picked you up and sat you down on the surface. Standing between your legs, he pushed his fingers inside your shorts and found your clit, making you gasp his name. “That’s it. That’s my girl,” he breathed. “Say it again.” 

And you did…not that you could’ve helped it the way he was touching you, the way he was pushing his thick fingers inside you. One of your hands gripped his flexing wrist while the other sought to steady yourself on the granite, sighing. Next thing you knew, your knees were crooked over his arms and your butt was nearly hanging off the counter as he fucked his cum into you while telling you you’re gonna have ALL his babies.

His breeding kink goes further than just getting you pregnant. He loves seeing you pregnant. Trust that your sex life is going to blow up when you start showing. Knowing you’re full with life because of him, because he filled you up with his seed makes Daichi F E R A L.

So pregnancy sex is gonna be a big thing with him. 

Even in your third trimester, it happens often that Daichi comes home from work and latches onto your neck while his hands caress your belly. You giggle but he’s serious as he pushes against your bottom and you can feel him half hard already. “Daichi!” 

“Can’t help it, babe. Need you. Now,” he’ll growl. He’ll either bend you over the nearest surface and pull his cock out of his uniform to fuck you, or pick you up and carry you to bed before having his wicked way with you there. He gets so turned on, so into it that you’re crying out as he slams his hips against your ass while his blunt fingernails dig into your widened hips.

MORNING SEX !!

Morning quickies before the kids come knocking on your locked bedroom door. Daichi prefers to go slow and take his time, make you cum at least twice before he lets himself unload inside you. But, fuck, both of you are so horny for each other some mornings and after the kids are born, you know the kids will be waking up soon and knocking on your bedroom door. So neither of you waste any time. Whether he mounts you or you straddle him, whether Daichi makes love to you or fucks you raw makes no difference. Either way it is going to be INTENSE.

So there you have it. I hope you enjoyed the musings of my overactive imagination as it pertains to sexy Mr. Sawamura. What would you add? What would you take away? Let me know! I’m curious!

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[tragicclownwrites]

A tragic clown's SBSP ship opinions

So I came across @shiba-deer's ship ranking post and I thought "fuck it. i'm gonna do one, too!" 😝 I tend to agree with most of their points with just a few differences including the addition of shitty Canva edits by me.

Disclaimer: As the title suggests, these are just my opinions. I know some folks may disagree and that's okay! I'm not trying to flame anyone or start any drama, so please keep it chill. We're all just clowns here. 🤡

Here's the scale I'm working with:

god tier - OMFG I LOVE them 💖🥰

top tier - I really like this ship 💜👍

mid tier - I'm neutral about this ship 😐

bottom tier - I really don't like this ship 👎😓

hell no tier - Get this shit off my dash immediately 🤢🚫

?? tier - I don't know enough about them to form an opinion 🤷

Anyways, here we go~

SQUIDBOB - god tier

Ah yes, SquidBob. The only "god tier" ranked ship on this list. Are we surprised? There are just so many great moments between these two and so much that could be said. Alas, I'll spare the long monologue and just say that their dynamic is absolute perfection. It's literally the basis of a great, slow-burn romance - you can't make this shit up. I love "opposites attract" for the exact reasons that I disliked some of the other pairings on this list. It's notable that while Spongebob is mostly cheerful and exuberant and Squidward is mostly grumpy and reserved, that isn't all they are; Squidward very much has a fun side just as Spongebob has a serious one. They keep things interesting and bring out the best in each other (whether Squiddy wants to admit that or not), in spite of their differences. And per this post, they actually do have a lot in common as well! I could wax poetic about why a fucking sponge and octopus are literal soulmates, but idk. I just think they're neat. 💖

PLABS - top tier

Now this was not a ship that was initially on my radar when I first joined the fandom. But I am happy to say that has definitely changed and it is now a favorite of mine! I love a good friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers ship, and Plabs is one of the best. I feel like they have such a "will they, won't they" thing going on that leaves me on the edge of my seat. I definitely want to look into them more. And who knows? Maybe I'll get around to writing a fic? 😉 As for canon, I could list various examples but there is just so much compelling evidence in favor of this for me not to ship.

KARENDY - top tier

This is a ship that I have grown to really enjoy. While I would like to see more of them together in the show, the few interactions we have gotten are great fodder for a budding romance. I like how they have so much in common (ex. intelligence, interest in inventing), but not to the point where they clash (which I likely will talk about later in the list) and it actually benefits them and adds to their connection. They just have so much potential! They inspire my creativity the more I look into them. I mean, c'mon. Sandy literally said Karen was "beautiful" and Karen's wiki says her relationship with Sandy is "a purely positive one."

SQUIDLIAM - top tier (as exes)

This list simply wouldn't be complete without this pairing. If you've read SquidBob fanfiction, Squilliam is the perfect villainous ex-boyfriend. 😈 It could be that I'm a sucker for villain redemptions (spoiler: i am) or perhaps @misslattesart has made me consider alternative possibilities for this character (probably both tbh), but I find myself increasingly intrigued by this dynamic - particularly Squilliam's motivation for constantly trying to outdo Squidward when he appears to have it all. While I'm part of the majority of fandom that headcanons them as exes, it's evident that they were definitely romantically involved at some point. But I do agree that they would inevitably find themselves in conflict eventually. After all, they broke up for a reason.

PLANKBOB - mid tier

Fun fact about this ship: PlankBob actually got me into the fandom (more on that here), so there's a level of fondness for me there. However, it is purely on a crack-ship basis and I've more or less stopped shipping it since joining in favor of other ships on this list. But idk man, it's just a funny dynamic.

PATWARD - mid tier

This is such a hilarious and chaotic match that literally no one would see coming. I think everyone probably knows about that one moment in Kamp Koral. I can't find the clip right now but, I mean, what the hell even was that?? Still, I'm only giving it a "mid tier" rank as, like PlankBob, it's more of a pairing that I'd ship ironically.

SQUIDVIA - mid tier

I mean, Squidward went on a practice date with Spongebob, who was significantly more interested in him than Squilvia was. She didn't get all that much screentime, despite her being the girl Squidward was presumably trying to impress. I'd argue that Squiddy wasn't all that into her either, but rather the idea of her because they are so similar and he thinks that's the kind of person he should be with. I don't really feel any sort of way about this ship, but their relationship probably wouldn't last. SquidBob FTW.

PUFFKRABS - bottom tier but would be mid tier if not for their bullshit (very confusing, I know)

Surprisingly, I do feel like this pairing has potential... if it weren't for a major Plankton-shaped obstacle holding them back. I've touched on this a bit in my fic, but apparently Mrs. Puff and Mr. Krabs have been/were secretly dating for 16 years. Now, 16 years is not a number to scoff at. However, the "secretly" part is giving me pause and sending up all the red flags. 🚩🚩Both of them are single/divorced/widowed/etc. They are not having an affair. So... why keep it a secret? As far as I'm aware, neither of them have any reason not to be open about it (assuming that I'm not off base about this whole secrecy aspect). Sure, not everyone needs to be in their business. But then it's implied that even Pearl doesn't know. I have no idea who made the call but if I was Mrs. Puff and everyone, including my boyfriend's daughter, was in the dark about our relationship and he made no moves to give me any sort of real commitment after over a decade... I'd start to wonder what the fuck was up.

PATBOB - bottom tier (sorry 😔)

I was really conflicted on this ranking because PatBob has all the makings of a great ship - they're best friends, they look cute together, and they have a lot in common. However, the reason I ranked this so low is mostly because their friendship is so much stronger than any sort of romantic connection. I feel like whenever these two are put into a remotely romantic scenario (ex. when Spongebob they raised a baby scallop), that's when the cracks start to show. As friends, they have a great dynamic and are so funny together, even when they get into arguments/spats. However, as romantic partners, it feels unnatural. As shown in the episode I mentioned as an example, Patrick gets to be his silly, lazy self whereas Spongebob has to take the more serious, rational role - which is not his natural inclination, even if he has that side. I just can't help but feel like this would become a pattern if they were actually in a relationship. I live for best friends-to-lovers... but this ship is not the one.

PLANKAREN - bottom tier

I was originally going to rank this "hell no tier" but it's not the worst thing I've ever seen - mostly just a prime example of compulsory heterosexuality (this was a great response on the topic). I still dislike the pairing quite a bit though. Like, are they even married? The two of them are so off-and-on, hot-and-cold together and there's just something so... forced about it. I just think they both would be so much happier if they weren't together, you know? I don't doubt that they support - and maybe even love - each other a bit, but to quote my own fic (not to plug lol): "you can love and care about someone without being in love with them."

SPANDY - hell no tier

I've never liked this ship, even prior to joining the fandom. Hell, even when I was a kid and didn't know what shipping was, I still felt there was something off. As I've gotten older and wiser though, I think it really comes down to Sandy and Spongebob having virtually zero romantic chemistry. Nada. Zilch. Despite SBSP being episodic in nature, their dynamic consistently gives me sibling vibes - which does not translate well into a romantic connection at all. They're just miles better as friends and I don't see that changing in the slightest.

(And this is just a personal nit-pick vs. a solid point but I find myself put off by the frequently OOC portrayal in fanworks - particularly for Sandy, who is actually one of my favorite characters. I know as writers and artists, we're going to take some creative liberties. But if you have to drastically alter a character's personality and/or physical traits to suit your ship narrative, it's probably not a good ship. 🤷)

SQUANDY - hell no tier

I do love seeing Squidward and Sandy getting along and being pals - I mean, look at this interaction (sorry, couldn't find a better gif)! However, any sort of romantic connotation gives me a serious case of the "ick" (SquidBob be damned, honestly). Hence the very low ranking. They are strangely more believable than Spandy, but that's probably the only redeeming thing about this as a ship tbh. Otherwise, it's a "hell no" from me.

(This sound effect is literally me when thinking about this lmao.)

MINDRICK - hell no tier

Not to be that person, but even if there was genuine chemistry... let's just say Mindy doesn't just look young. I even Googled it for you. You're welcome.

SQUARRY - ?? tier

Okay so I've heard lots of good things about this pairing and how they have some great, shippy interactions. However, it's not a ship I'm familiar enough with to form an opinion.

BUBBLERAY - ?? tier

Not really super familiar with these characters' dynamic in general, let alone the ship.

SLAPFERATU - ?? tier

I've seen this ship making the rounds as well, but definitely not familiar enough with them to make a judgment call. From what I've seen (including pulling this pic together), it is pretty hilarious. I will say that. 😆

[yoongsisbae]

Oh bae you're the sweetest 🥺 I'm so happy you loved the chapter!!! Well....regarding that...Jin also said he wanted to be someone's zombie pet 😂 I feel bad for Jimin but I did have so much fun writing that bathroom scene 🤣 it's just so over the top, for being so smart neither of them were thinking with their brains at that moment ���🙈

Hellllll nah I am Captain of the Dev Haters! Yeah okay he was useful for the first time ever but the man literally stabbed someone in the back 😭😭 no redemption!! But I do like hearing everyone's responses, there might be a couple more shocking scenes for readers regarding Dev that will be interesting 😈

But but but they are really dead set on Seoul....dead set...dead...

I'm sorry to say if they go to Seoul it's not gonna be pretty 😭😭 Speaking of, I was really thinking about inevitabilities while writing this chapter. And currency. People's wealth might have helped them in the very beginning, like in Gangnam where only the wealthy were protected, and when resources became scarce, priority was given to those wealthy people. I initially had more to the rumors, how unfair it was, the way even power was cut off in certain poorer communities so the wealthier areas had power for longer. That's not something survivors have not forgotten, so the members will face certain disadvantages and advantages because of their past wealth.

But now that money is gone, what makes people wealthy? I found myself asking, what is currency in a post apocalyptic society? It would be their skills...and unfortunately, someone's beauty. Sex becomes currency, becomes transactional. Like the girlfriend who stayed with her cheating boyfriend in exchange for her safety whether he realized it or not.

And like money, it's something entitled people will try to take from you, like what happened to y/n and what almost happened to Jimin. Y/n was bargained away without her consent by men, and even with Jin, a man who was given a "choice," it still wasn't consent, it was a violation, it was a violence y/n and jin both experienced, hers was just outward and his was inward.

I said before, there are things I find inevitable to happen, and maybe I am super pessimistic about it, but I feel like what happened was an inevitability caused by what survivors deem most valuable now. And I'm warning readers now it's gonna be brought up again.

But there will still be lighthearted moments! And silly moments since y/n truly has no filter 😭😭 I hope you can continue to enjoy my story 💕💕

Run Run Run - Seoul Close (Part 5)

A zombie apocalypse breaks out and you’re stuck on a plane with none other than…BTS! Oh, you thought because you were an Army that would help you survive? Girl think again. OT7 BTS Zombie Apocalypse AU / BTS member x reader slow burn

WELL I'M NOT DEAD. MY CHARACTERS ON THE OTHER HAND...JUST KIDDING. LET ME COPE WITH HUMOR.

Warnings: death, monsters, blood, fighting, killing, gory details, some toxic nationalism, mention of SA-nothing graphic, angst, smut, handjob, fingering, bathtime shenanigans

Word Count: 21.5k (I actually got block limited for the first time on this chapter. I hope the long chapter makes up for the wait!)

---

Run.

Run.

Run.

Keep your back straight, your shoulders relaxed, move your arms, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, and most importantly, don’t trip!

AND RUN!!!

You look back. You expected to see a lot of them, but not this much...

‘It’s gonna okay it’s gonna okay it’s gonna okay,’ you repeat desperately, as long as you keep running!

No time to scream or even cry, you need that energy…

To run!

You hear the labored breaths of the men around you, such a stark contrast from the horrifying growls of the undead behind you, a group of zombies you all had accidently awakened from their mindless ambling.

But there is quite a distance, fortunately. And if you just keep ru-

“Ow,” you grunt. You collided into a back, knocking the wind out of you.

“Wh-” You are silenced at the sight in front of you. There is a hoard of zombies and fresh corpses, the monsters are crouched over the bodies, pulling apart and devouring what remains.

You all stare at the gruesome sight. No words are needed and you are too winded to form proper sentences anyways, so you push the closest person to your left into the grass, which so happened to be BTS leader, Kim Namjoon. 

You keep pushing him until he takes the hint. He yanks on who he can reach too, giving silent orders. ‘RUN THIS WAY!’

If you’re lucky, you can create enough distance between you and the monsters behind you that have already caught a scent of your blood before the preoccupied ones begin to notice you. And if you were really lucky, the former might just give up once they smelled the scraps of someone else’s meal.

Too bad luck is rarely on your side.

The feasting zombies smell a new meal instantly.

Dammit! 

Keep running! 

Run for cover, run into the woods, run as far as you can away from them.

Hongcheon is a fraction of the size of Seoul and yet there are already so many more of them than you had expected. 

So many lives gone. So many families torn apart, hearts broken, young lives cut short…

A city destroyed. 

You don’t have time to cry over it now. Maybe later, when you’re safe, you can think of the children you saw, thirsty for blood, eyes sunken in, tiny bodies brutalized into monstrosities. Later you can agonize over their stolen youth, wonder where their parents are, if they remained a family, feasting together even in death.

Right now, you have to…

Run.

-

“Run over there!”

It hurts to move, to breathe. Your head hurts, your chest hurts, you’re terrified, worried sick, barely able to think, running on adrenaline. Hoseok grabs your hand and pulls you along. It makes you grateful, yet it makes you worry more. He should run ahead of you, you feel like a burden, you feel your heart clench when he squeezes your hand. 

You can’t help but think about the others, even now, you should have cherished those moments more, the smiles and laughter and banter and good times. Taehyung’s jokes, Jungkook’s bored singing, an infectious melody that had the others and even you humming along. Hoseok’s animated retelling of the events at Sutasa temple that the leader and eldest two had missed, making you and the others laugh along, the leader’s slightly impressed and very dismayed expressions and Seokjin whining over his sore feet.  

How wonderful it was when sore feet were the only thing to complain about.

You should have enjoyed those days leading up to reaching Hongcheon city more. When killing zombies felt like a team building exercise. Remember that? Tallying up your kills. Like it was a game, like it wasn’t the worst thing imaginable you had to do to another person, because they were people at one point... 

You look at the scared tired faces of the men around you and think how easy it could be to lose them to the same fate, a tally in a game strangers play not knowing how much love that growling decaying body once held… the jokes they told, the songs they sung, the stories they experienced, the sacrifices they endured…

You should have taken life more seriously, maybe now it wouldn’t feel so abysmal, karma for your blase us vs. them mentality. How stupid, you of all people should know better.

No, it wasn’t you and them, it was you and your future staring back with yellow clouded eyes. You stare back and feel nothing but regret.

And guilt.

And fear.

So you run faster, gulp down hot air, let it burn your lungs and let it sting your belly, because you now know the pain of living is always better than death, always!

You follow the others into the first house you come across where you quickly barricade yourselves in.

One two three four five six…No. 

Namjoon pats you on the shoulder. You almost scream in surprise, but you were trained now to only scream into pillows or under water, places it would be hard for them to hear you, not when you actually wanted to. 

Seokjin is behind him. Seven, eight. 

You all made it. Even Dev. Fuck, you’re actually relieved.

You relax only a little. Everyone looks beyond exhausted. You all need food, you need water. You doubt this small abandoned house has enough of anything for all of you.

There’s black blood on your arms and clothes from where you had to defend yourself from the zombies who came too close. The others have blood on them, and you wished there was more light so you could properly make sure the blood wasn’t theirs. 

“Is everyone okay?” you whisper. No one is just ‘okay,’ but they knew what you meant.

They pull at their clothes, checking their bodies. They all nod. You glare at Dev, and then eye Taehyung who nods again. Now that you’re stationary you realize how sweaty you are, how tired. You fall to your knees, finally able to rest.

Namjoon walks cautiously through the house, making sure the coast is clear and there are no residents remaining, alive or otherwise.

As you rest you listen to doors sliding open, Namjoon’s footsteps as he makes his way through the house. The others are quiet, catching their breaths, holding their bodies against doors, coughing quietly, rubbing their muscles, and of course, listening intently to the sounds outside…

The scratching, clawing, growling…

“Clear. Two Beds.” Namjoon returns.

“I’ll check for food.” Yoongi stands up, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“I’ll take first watch,” Namjoon says solemnly.

“Me too,” you add. He doesn’t argue with you, even if he does look like he wants to tell you to rest instead.

“Second.” Jimin and Taehyung say in unison.

It’s safe for now. What will it be like once the sun is high again? Better, worse? How long can you keep this up? 

Going through the city might have taken a couple of hours tops in the car, but you didn’t have that now, not even the horses…Those poor horses…

How many days will it take to get out now that you are on foot, you wonder. You can’t even bring yourself to look forward to it either, already imagining how much worse Seoul will be. 

You can’t help but think the situation you’ve put yourselves in is looking rather helpless.

You keep your eyes locked on a small divot in the flooring, trying to stay calm. Even if you had the time now, becoming emotional in this moment would be too dangerous. You have to focus and be ready for anything.

“We made it,” Namjoon whispers, placing his hand on your shoulder. You’re impressed with his optimism, you try not to feel worried, but it's for that exact reason you are so worried. You made it this time, but what about next time? What if something happens to him, what if you never hear those words again? Namjoon just might be all the optimism you have left.

You eat cold portions of canned food Yoongi prepares. 

You’re not mad at him anymore, almost dying has always had that kind of effect on relationships, but when he hands you your portion you still can’t meet his eyes, thinking of the conversation you had before entering the city.

---

“Why did you kiss me?”

“Huh?” Yoongi looks anywhere but in your direction.

Now you’re feeling even more wary. It took Herculean courage for you to even ask, now he’s going to make you ask again?

“Nevermind.”

You walk away from the rapper, back to tending to your horse while the large animals rest. You couldn’t help but notice the rapper has been rather aloof around you, more than usual, since kissing you. You tried not to take it personally, to not feel hurt every time he seemed to quickly shut down any conversation you start with him, but ugh, why did he go and kiss you then if he was just going to act like this?! 

It takes you all morning, right before the group is about to start your travels again, when you confront Yoongi one last time.

“Why did you kiss me?” You mutter, hoping he would respond this time. ‘Just say it was the heat of the moment,’ you think, so you can both move on, get over it. So you can accept it was just a one time thing, a moment of weakness, you would never hold it against Yoongi, but this, the way he’s acting now, you definitely do have a problem with!

Unfortunately, ears whom you hadn’t intended to hear perked up at the new information.

“You kissed y/n?” Hoseok crashes in between the pair of you.

“No, I didn’t!” Yoongi hisses immediately.

“You didn’t?” Hoseok tilts his head.

“He didn’t.” You repeat quietly.

“But you just said-”

“I didn't say that!” you laugh incredulously. “You misheard me. I asked why did he pick me… PICK me, is what I meant.”

“Pick you for what?” Hoseok looks between both of you in disbelief.

“Uhh…” you hesitate, trying to come up with something credible while Yoongi takes the opportunity to scurry away. “Pick me for the um next night shift-”

“He picked you? But you always volunteer,” Hoseok says accusingly.

“Okay, well, this time, I didn’t. And so uh I wanted the night off. Anyways, it doesn’t matter anymore! I don’t care! forget it!” you ramble angrily, making Hoseok back away this time. 

Yoongi waits by the car while you glare at him. He’s definitely ignoring you now, like you’re some deranged saesang, and it’s annoying as hell! He kissed you, didn’t he? Yes, you might have kissed him back, and…

You remember the way you melted into him, Yoongi’s body pressed against yours, the way you chased his lips, how you wanted more. You shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t have…liked it so much…dammit! Why did he kiss you?!

Yoongi answers you the next day. “It was a mistake. I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispers to you, bumping into your shoulder. 

You wince. “So you kissed me, by accident?” you ask.

“I shouldn’t have done it. I thought you had died, and, I…I don’t know…” Yoongi looks around anxiously, gaze stopping on Seokjin who is animatedly giving reasons why he shouldn’t have to sit in the back of the car this time.

You grind your teeth. This is the answer you wanted, why do you feel so crestfallen? “I understand.”

“You do?”

You look over at Yoongi. “Yes,” you smile wearily. “How do I say this? I get it, you wouldn’t normally have done that under normal circumstances with someone like me, I just wanted to make sure...” you pause. “So you want to forget it? Okay!” you say resolutely, “I’ll pretend it never happened.” You give him a more confident grin.

Your smile falls when you notice his red ears and tinged cheeks. “Yoongi?”

Yoongi looks like he’s holding his breath, holding something in for sure. “That’s not-” Yoongi cautiously lifts his arm up, knuckles touching the side of your face.

“Yoongi?” you repeat, holding your breath.

He almost looks like he might kiss you again, almost…but he turns his heel and walks back to the car, taking a seat in the back and settling an argument between Jin and Taehyung.

You frown, crossing your arms, you guess he is going to expect you to forget that just happened as well, you sigh, frown deepening. 

Maybe you are being delusional, he answered your question, you should just leave it at that, you think. You have bigger things to worry about.

-

You spent days pushing the car, hoping to find an exit to a gas station. All that energy wasted.

“You’ve been ignoring me.” Yoongi accuses under his breath.

You have not not been doing anything of the sort! You still acknowledge Yoongi’s presence, just like you do that asshole Dev, yeah.

You frown. “You have been acting weird,” you cross your arms. All day every day you can feel Yoongi’s eyes boring into the back of your head when you talk to the others, and yet he refuses to even look in your direction when you get anywhere near him! 

“I have not!”

“Well then I haven’t been ignoring you!”

Yoongi sighs. “Well it's clear to the others something is up between us and that is exactly what I was trying to avoid.”

You narrow your eyes on him. You think you finally understand him, Yoongi was ashamed of kissing you. You want to yell at him, but you can’t…not when you feel something akin to disappointment clawing at your insides, a small voice inside you confirming all your insecurities.

“Why would there be something up? Nothing is up, absolutely nothing,” you frown. 

“Stop.”

“I can’t stop because I haven’t started.”

“You are so annoying sometimes.” His hand holds your jaw, thumb rubbing the dirt away from your face tenderly.

You flinch away, “Is that why you didn’t kiss me?”

“Listen, I just don’t want to burden you-”

“Well, I’m very unburdened, can’t you tell? I mean, what could burden me? I have all the food I could want,” you say sarcastically, “I’m not running from monsters that want to eat me alive and I certainly don't care that you did not kiss me!” you hiss.

Yoongi covers your mouth. “Are you guys okay?” Jungkook says hesitantly, walking up to the pair of you.

Yoongi pulls his hands away as if he were burned. You roll your eyes at him, trying to not focus on the sharp pain in your chest, daggers embedding themselves inside you, each one confirming your worst insecurities. 

“Everything is great, Kookie,” you say, acting sweeter than your usual self, grabbing the youngest and leading him away before either man notices your watery eyes. 

---

“You can rest against me,” Namjoon murmurs, watching as you sway and try to keep your head up as the others sleep.

You laugh softly, “If I do that, I will definitely fall asleep. When I’m close to you, you make me feel safe. And I get sleepy,” you add, yawning. You rest your head on the wall, smiling back when he smiles. “Ahh, see, I can’t look at you,” you shake your head, trying to shake away your tiredness too.

“So you’re not all the way over there because I smell?” Namjoon pulls at your sleeve, trying to coax you closer.

“You smell? Damn, I must smell horrible then.” You sniff your worn and tattered clothes. 

“I saw a well outside, we can take advantage of it tomorrow, get some water to clean ourselves up.”

“A bath?” you wonder out loud, unable to hide your excitement. “Finally,” you sigh.

“Well err it’s gonna have to be a cold bath-”

“Mhm. A bath.” You ignore his warning, nothing can change your excitement. Let it be freezing cold, you will happily soak yourself until your fingers shrivel up.

After a while Namjoon speaks up again. “I think maybe we should stay here for a bit. Once the zombies disperse, we can go out for supplies, maybe scout for a better house to crash.”

“Here, in the city? For how long?”

“Maybe,” he hesitates. “A couple weeks? Or…a couple…months?”

“M-Months?!” you gasp, surprised.

“Look at them.” He gestures to the bodies sleeping on the floor around you, none of them wanted to leave the room for the beds, no one wanted to lose sight of each other. “We need to rest, we need supplies…we need to build ourselves back up.”

“Shouldn’t we, um, get out of Hongcheon first?” you ask worriedly. “I feel like…these monsters here are…different. They seem more relentless, don’t you feel?” you groan, thinking aloud. “Why are they so energetic? We’re the live ones! Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” They seem…well fed, you think, grimacing. “You think it’s a good idea to stay?”

“I don’t know.” Namjoon looks around anxiously at his friends, worried for their safety. “I don’t know.”

“Okay,” you whisper, reaching for his hand, you stroke his knuckles soothingly, deciding to follow Namjoon’s plan. “We’ll stay here for a while, and take it day by day. As long as we’re together, that’s what is most important, right?”

Namjoon lets out the breath he was holding, relaxing now that he had your support. In truth, he was too scared to move forward right now. He just needs some time, and Namjoon feels the whole group might do well with some rest too. You have all been in flight mode since first entering Hongcheon. Even you have chosen to forgo fighting, overwhelmed by the hoards of zombies and responsibilities to your friends.

-

Namjoon shakes Taehyung awake as second shift starts. Jimin rubs his tired eyes, sitting next to you, ready to take your place. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you whisper.

He nods his head to the group cuddled together like sardines, “Go rest, I got it from here.”

You hesitate. It’s becoming harder and harder to sleep. You dreaded the moments where you weren’t awake and alert for danger. Jimin sees your hesitation, he opens up his arms, “Do you want to stay with me until you’re ready to fall asleep?” You nod, relaxing slightly. 

Jimin is too good to you, it just makes you worry more, it just adds another dagger full of guilt sticking out from your chest. It all feels so heavy. You sink into Jimin, sorry to him for everything you’ve put him through. He hugs you back so tenderly you want to cry.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

Jimin smiles, enjoying your warmth against him. You cling onto him, cuddled to his side, keeping your head buried into your chest, scared if you look at Jimin you’ll do something you regret, already so desperate to make him happy. But you can’t give into your feelings. You cannot bear to think how frightened you would become then.

---

“Is it true? Is it true? You…you…YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL THAT I’M SCARED.”

The road was abandoned, everything around you was at a standstill since that fateful day, only the trees danced with you, swaying in the wind. You let your bike zig and zag as you hummed one of your favorite songs happily. 

There were cars still on the road but the engines had long ago stalled out, the drivers ran away. 

It was so quiet. It was calm…peaceful even, serene…

And if there was a noise, it would likely be a member of the undead gurgling for brains. Noise now only served as a warning. 

You bike slowly, looking around at the bright landscape in awe. It had been too long since you saw green, trees, grass, flowers... 

Stuck in the airport for months you had become used to dirt and tarmac, withered plants in pots and only weeds surviving. But now you realized, lots of things survived. It was so beautiful, mesmerizing.

And you were about to be even more mesmerized.

“Oh my god, oh my god!” you laugh, biking fast before coming to a complete stop. “Y-You’re alive!”

The stranger looks at you, mouth agape. 

You kick your bike stand out, running up to him. “Oh! You don’t understand me!” you quickly switch to Korean. “Sorry! Hi, good afternoon! I didn’t mean to frighten you! I’m just– wow– I’m surprised! I haven’t seen another person in...I just...hi!” You resist the urge to hug him, noticing how skittish he already seems, instead bowing ninety degrees. “My name is y/n. Are you okay?”

“You…you speak Korean.”

“You do too, lucky us,” you laugh awkwardly. 

He looks around, shuffling from side to side. “Where did you come from, foreigner? Are you alone? Do you have any food?”

Your smile slowly falls. You had gotten too excited, you hadn’t paid attention, hadn’t noticed his dirty clothes hanging off his very thin frame, the shiftiness in his attitude, the strange look in his eyes, he didn’t seem…well. 

“N-No, I, uh…I came from the airport.” You look behind you, back in the direction you came from.

It only took a second for you to take your eyes off him, and in that second the man decided to attack.

“Hey!” You stumble backward as he tries to pull off your backpack. “Get off! Stop!”

You were used to zombies attacking you, trying to bite you. If it had been a zombie, you would have yanked out your knife before even thinking, stopped the monster immediately and been on your way. 

But a human attacking you? Someone living? 

It caught you so off guard you couldn’t react. You fall on the ground trying to get away.

The stranger lunges at your bike instead, still standing abandoned by you. You scramble to your feet, grabbing on to the handle bars as he tries to mount your bike. 

You start hitting him with your fist, yanking on the bike in between punches to get it away from him. 

‘Is this really happening?!’ you think. You just met and he’s trying to steal your bike?!’

He starts hitting you back, yelling in his weakened efforts. That noise was too similar, and you were bitterly reminded of the airport. You grunt, getting winded from your fighting. Yanking hard on your bike, you maneuver it out of his grasp, only for him to attack you again. 

Even in his weakened state, his adrenaline had managed to make him strong and combative. If you’re not careful, you could get seriously injured, probably left for dead, without your bike, without anyone, dying alone and abandoned…

Again?! Fuck this, fuck him!

You put your knife against his throat and he finally stops trying to attack you. You tried to sound threatening when you told him to stop. But the truth was you were terrified, more terrified than you had ever been at the airport. What if he decided to not listen to you? You didn’t think you could go through with it, you couldn’t kill this man.

“Stop! Get away!” you plead, screaming.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m so hungry, I’m sorry! I won’t hurt you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He bows his head, wailing.

You try to steady your hand, but the knife shakes in your grasp. You’ve stopped fighting each other but you can’t seem to catch your breath.

You roll the bike further away from him, arm still outstretched, pointing the knife at him in warning. Your eyes sting with unshed tears, wanting to cry.

You’re sorry too. 

---

You startle, even when Namjoon whispers your name, squeezing your shivering body. “Huh?” You’re lying next to him, you cannot remember when you’ve moved here.

“You were crying in your sleep,” Namjoon says in a concerned hushed voice.

You rub your eyes in your tiredness. It was true, your eyes felt puffy, your cheeks sticky with tears.

You turn your head to look at him, and he looks back at you, concern etched across his brows. Twilight has begun and soon the sun will be up. You sigh, you felt safer in the dark and safest next to Namjoon and the others.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just had a bad dream.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I was dreaming about my bike,” you laugh half-heartedly.

But Namjoon doesn’t laugh. “We all…have them, the nightmares-”

“I know.”

“So you can talk to me..us about it. You don’t have to always keep everything in. It’s not healthy.”

“Okay Doctor Kim.”

Namjoon sighs. He’s too cute when his brows furrow, his hair sticking up from sleeping, you can’t help but giggle. “The monsters I dream about aren’t the dead kind,” you whisper. “Sometimes, I just-” you sigh, “-feel like running away.”

“Run away from us? I would track you down,” Namjoon says.

You can’t help but smile, closing your eyes. “I won’t, I’d be too worried you’ll get yourselves killed without me.” 

He reaches for your cheek, lying his tired arm against you. “I’m scared,” you mumble.

“Why?”

“We’re going to run into more people eventually, what if next time…something horrible happens? Sometimes I feel like I made a mistake. I should have stayed away.” You think back to the first time you encountered him again. “At the time I wanted to hurt you, I wanted revenge, and then…” you mumble, reaching for him in the darkness. “People..are dangerous. You were safer with Kanhgo on the farm.” ‘Maybe everything about this was a mistake, not just Yoongi kissing you,’ you want to tell him.

“I think we met at the right time. You don’t know how it was before, we were all...too close to death, too friendly to the idea, to dying. It was in that house, sitting with us, all the time. Do you understand? You saved m– us.”

You don’t hear what he says next, already falling under sleep, too content next to Namjoon despite the looming danger outside. 

Namjoon stares at your closed eyelids and relaxes, scooting closer to your sleeping frame.

---

You wake up out of breath, body shaking. You couldn’t remember your dream, but from your pounding heart rate, your sweat drenched clothes, and the dread you feel lifting away, you suspect it was awful. You jump when arms grab you, pull you in and hug you tightly. 

“You’re okay.” You hear Jimin mumble against your shoulder, soft and soothing.

You see Namjoon still asleep next to you. The day is out. It’s only the four of you left asleep, the others already awake and going through the house.

“Go back to sleep,” Jimin murmurs. But you can’t, not with all that adrenaline coursing through you now, so you watch Namjoon’s peaceful sleeping face, so close to you. You start memorizing his frown lines and birthmarks and cuts still healing, calming yourself down. 

You make a promise to yourself that when you reach Seoul, when Namjoon finds his family, when you eventually go your separate ways, you’re never going to forget him just like this, your friend and your idol trusting you enough to sleep peacefully while death now stands outside.

---

You raid the town’s fire department in the morning. 

No firetruck anymore to your disappointment. 

But there was an axe left behind in haste, some canned food, bandages and antiseptic; incredibly valuable finds. You grab as many helmets as you can carry, intent on sticking them on a few members’ heads. 

“Hobi!” you call out, “Come here!” Hoseok finds you and lets you dress him up in your newly acquired gear. 

It is just as you suspected, you sigh, head in your palms as you watch Hoseok clog around in heavy boots, rolling up the jacket sleeves.

Hoseok would make the. hottest. firefighter.

 Man, you wish selfies were still a thing.

“What are you guys doing?

You drop a helmet onto Taehyung’s head. “Nothing,” you smile. 

“Alright, enough playing around.” Namjoon says, coming back with a full backpack. You pout, pulling off the huge firefighter jacket you found and offering it to Namjoon, hopeful. He eyes the jacket. “C’mon, it’s definitely your size!” 

“Firefighters your thing, eh?” Seokjin rounds a corner. He looks so dashing decked out in uniform. 

“...Maybe.” you tease. 

“Help!” That’s Jungkook’s voice.

He’s stuck in a corner, fighting off two of the largest zombies you’ve ever seen.

These particular zombies, not only look massive and strong, they are also wearing helmets, protecting their most vulnerable spot, and the exact area you need to access to stop their attack.

How the hell are you going to kill them?!

The axe! Namjoon swings it into one of the zombie’s shoulders, completely dislocating the entire arm, while Jungkook keeps his bat lodged in the zombies’ mouths. 

Namjoon brings the axe down again and again, as if he were hacking at a tree. You grimace, you definitely could not use what came off as firewood. “This is so gross.” You look down at what remains, two heads still animatedly trying to bite your shins.

“Sorry,” you wince, stabbing the heads through the eye quickly.

As you sneak your way back to the house, Taehyung decides to ask you, “Why do you always do that?”

You massage your neck, “Do what?”

“Say you’re sorry. You always do it.”

You smile sadly. “Because I am sorry. It’s not their fault, you know. I am sure a man like that always wanted to help people, not eat them.”

‘Man,’ Taehyung certainly did not consider what that firefighter was reduced to, to be anything close to man. “Well I don’t think they understand you.” 

“Hey! My Korean is not that bad!”

Taehyung bumps your shoulder, “You know what I mean!” he laughs.

“Maybe, maybe not,” you sigh. “Their ears are still there, why wouldn’t they understand? Do you think they aren’t in there anymore?”

“I hope not.” Taehyung shudders.

“I guess we’ll never know until we become one…” you hum.

“Kill me before then.” Taehyung mutters.

You offer him your hand, “Deal.”

“If I become a zombie, put a muzzle on me and keep me as a pet.” Seokjin drapes his arms over you and Taehyung.

“Deal!”

“No way!”

“What about you, y/n?”

“If I become a zombie?” You catch Namjoon staring at you. “I don’t know,” you think back to the airport. “I like to think I would be able to you know, but when it comes down to it, I don’t think I could kill myself…” you shrug. “But if I try to eat you, you do have my permission to-” you swing your arm back and forth, aiming for Seokjin’s head, laughing when he yells at you.

---

“What if we go this way? Closer to the river? That might be safer?”

“What about the school?”

“No, that’s usually where the town would find shelter. If just one of them was bitten…I think we should avoid this whole area.”

“What’s this word?” you point to the character on the small map. You, Namjoon, and Yoongi are looking over the withered piece of paper, trying to find the best place to find shelter before night.

“That’s like a, ‘Government Building.’” Namjoon answers in English. “A town hall.”

“What about that church?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea either.”

“What about this street, with all the stores? We could find a place to stay there. Close to supplies? And close to water!”

“Look! Military base.” Yoongi points to the map.

“That’s so far.”

“Tire shop? We could find a running car?”

“Y/n, can we talk?”

“Jimin, just wait,” Namjoon answers for you, stepping closer to you as you study the map.

You rub your temples. Your head hurts trying to decipher the map, speaking Korean rather than reading it has always been easier for you. “Wherever you want to go, I’ll go.” you massage Namjoon’s shoulder, stepping away. You switch positions with Jin as you make your way to Jimin.

-

“Where’s Jungkook and Tae?”

“Working on the well.”

“Should we go watch them? Stand guard?”

Jimin pulls you back, “They got it, we already made sure it’s safe.”

“Oh, alright,” you tilt your head at him, he’s acting a bit impatient. “Are you okay?”

“I just…you’re always– it’s hard to get your attention,” Jimin swallows.

“What? Well, I’m here now,” you say softly, running your hand down Jimin’s arm until you reach his hand, squeezing it with your own.

Jimin squeezes your hand back. “Come with me,” he says more confidently. Jimin leads you back into the house, inside a bedroom, and then inside…the closet? You stumble into boxes full of someone else’s treasured memories.

“Well the closet wouldn’t have been my first choice.”

“I just wanted uninterrupted time with you.” In this small house, hiding away might be the only way Jimin could be with you alone. “I just want to make sure we definitely won’t be bothered,” Jimin sighs, leaning into clothes.

Clothes! You lean against him, picking a shirt off the hanger. You’re so excited by your find, you don’t notice how tense Jimin gets when your body presses up against him. “This would look good on you!” you hold up the shirt you chose.

Jimin takes a deep breath. “Y/n…”

You freeze when you catch his eyes. “Jimin…”

Oh god, why did you say his name like that? All breathy and high pitched and…needy…oh no, why does he have to look at you like that?!

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jimin murmurs, smirking.

Wait, how are you looking at him? You didn’t have very much of a poker face, despite what you thought. “Huh?”

Why does his lips have to be so soft when he kisses you? How does his tongue do that thing-

“Jimin, we can’t,” you step back.

You definitely did not mean to pull him back with you.

He chuckles against your lips, kissing you deeper.

“Wait.” You are suddenly very aware of how hot and cramped you were. You find the door knob, grateful for the new space to clear your head. “W-We really can’t. We should– We shouldn’t! We shouldn’t-” Why can’t you catch your breath?!

“We definitely shouldn’t,” he jokes, resting his hand on the bed’s post.

You exhale, looking at the empty bed. Not doing things with Jimin sounds very appealing. But you can’t! Why “can’t” you again? Oh yeah-

You sit on the bed, looking up at Jimin.

Jimin who is looking down at you with that tiny pleased smirk he can’t stop showing.

You stand up abruptly. No, a relationship was too risky, even if the threat of being eaten didn’t loom over your heads. And what if...

What if Jimin got tired of you, came to his senses once he reached Seoul and had more options? 

“I thought we agreed to wait until Seoul-”

Waiting looks like the very last thing Jimin wants to do. “What if I don't make it to Seoul?!”

“Don’t say that!” you hiss. Why did he have to say that? Now you feel like crying. You must have looked upset, because Jimin is now looking at you with a mixture of confusion and worry. 

Jimin hugs you close, arms wrapped around you tightly, like he knows you will fall apart if he doesn’t. His lips are trembling against your neck, you can feel your own body trembling against his. 

You are not strong enough to resist him. 

“Please Jimin, all I’m saying is you might feel differently once we get to Seoul-”

“I won’t-”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

It’s easier to speak when you are looking away from Jimin. “Everything that’s happened…that is happening, it’s easy to, you know, want to feel something other than fear or loneliness,” you swallow. “And I’m convenient to do that with,” you let your hands drop away from his embrace. “I feel like we’re just using each other, and once it’s not convenient, you won’t want me anymore. That’s why I wanted to wait.” 

“I’m not using you, y/n!”

You look up at the ceiling to keep from crying. You weren’t from a rich family, or famous, you weren’t gifted, you weren’t special. You would have never been more than a fan to them had the world not gone to shit…

They left you alone.

You don't forget that, that nagging feeling always in the pit of your stomach, always tight around your chest when you notice one of them giving you that look, the one Jimin is giving you right now. The look Yoongi gave you after he said what a “mistake” it was kissing you.

And if you let Jimin kiss you again, have you on this bed, could you handle it if he tells you someday later, those exact words? You’re overcome with a weird feeling. Are you okay with that? 

He’s looking at your lips.

Maybe you should. Fuck it. Yolo. Or whatever.

Can you push away those feelings?

Is...that what Yoongi did to you?

“Is everything okay?”

“Go away Namjoon!” Jimin yells as you pull away from one another as the bedroom door opens.

“What? Excuse me, Park Jimin?” Namjoon is staring at your distressed anxious expression. “What the hell is going on?”

“It’s fine. I-I’m fine. I…I need some air.”

Jimin grabbed your arm. He didn’t want to let you go, he knew you had a penchant for being reckless, and especially if you were about to go outside, he was definitely going to put a stop to it. 

It probably sounded like a whimper, the sound you made when Jimin held you again, the way Namjoon was right by your side in an instant. “Let her go, Jimin!” He warns, holding both yours and Jimin’s arms.

“Kim Namjoon, why do you let her put herself in danger all the time?!”

“WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME, PARK JIMIN?”

You wince at Namjoon’s booming voice so close to your ear. You hear footsteps rushing towards the room, so you rip yourself away from both men’s grasp.

Well, you just locked yourself in the closet. You just did that.

The men stare at the closed door for a while. They hear your muffled voice yell back, “I’m fine! I just need some time alone…in here. I won't go outside, I promise!”

---

You finally leave the closet when Seokjin knocks softly on the door telling you dinner is ready. You carry a box full of clothes, shirts and pants for each man to try on, and a new outlook on things after shifting through old keepsakes, a collection of items that told a story of a couple who must have been together for decades. You want that. But that kind of life, like old movie tickets, developed film, and festival prizes, that kind of blissful happiness was not possible for anyone anymore.

“Do we have water?” you ask Jungkook. He looks exhausted.

“Drinking water, yes.”

“What about…cleaning water?” you ask, hopeful. 

“What about soap?” Jungkook asks.

You smile wide, clapping your hands together, pulling out everything you found and setting it up in a neatly filed line in front of Jungkook. “You have first pick, of course, if you get me that water,” you smile deviously.

Jungkook grabs the shampoo and conditioner combo. “You will have it all set up for you tomorrow when you get back from scouting.”

“Yay!” You give the youngest the tightest biggest hug you could muster up. “Oh! Maybe I should wait until after I bathe to give you a hug-”

“No! Hug now, and hug tomorrow!” Jungkook squeezes the air out of you. You giggle, despite not being able to inhale.

---

“Are you still mad at me?” Yoongi asks wearily, finally speaking up. “I’m sorry-”

“You don’t have to apologize, Yoongi.” You dig through the neighboring house’s kitchen, handing Yoongi the cans of food you found. “I’ll just try not to act so irresistible next time,” you joke, in brighter spirits, winking at the idol.

Yoongi places the items in his pack, relieved you weren’t giving him the cold shoulder.

“Oh, thanks,” he says sarcastically. “You’ve been doing a pretty good job though with that smell.”

“Okay, mister! Oh look, I found some food for you!” You throw him some cat food, laughing.

“I expect a two course meal tonight,” you tease, after finding spam and more canned veggies.

“I’ll make sure to prepare a second course all for you with the cat food you found.”

“Ew!” You shove him playfully. “I guess I won’t share my dessert with you then.”

“What dessert?”

“You think these are still good?” You pull out a full box of chocopie from your pack. You smile in satisfaction at Yoongi’s stunned face. 

“I guess I will have to make you a three course meal then,” Yoongi says, making you smile wider.

A noise makes you jump, and Yoongi instinctively covers your body with his. You force your head under his arm, unwilling to let him sacrifice himself for you.

“Stay behind me!” Yoongi hisses.

“No, you stay behind me!”

Yoongi shoves you with all his strength away from the noise closing in. It catches you off guard as you stumble backward, you hadn’t expected Yoongi to use so much force.

So you jump on his back, sending him stumbling and crashing into a very nice looking cabinet...full of glass wear.

Two of the biggest racoons you’ve ever seen in your life scurry out of the shadows and past you and Yoongi, making you squeal and tighten your grip around the rapper.

Yoongi sighs, freezing against you when he realizes his hands are holding your thighs.

“Next time just get behind me,” you mumble.

“No fucking way.”

You should be mad at him, but you can’t help but smile.

Yoongi should be mad at you, but all his anger dissipates seeing your smile.

You pass by a record player on your way out. “Yoongi! Do you think we could make it work?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “It needs electricity.”

“You can’t just turn the record with your finger?” You sound so desperate to hear music.

“The speakers won’t work without electricity. Sorry, y/n.”

You nod, crestfallen. Yoongi hides his disappointment too, the rapper wishes most of all to hear music again. You grab a pile of records, “just in case,” you say, hoping one day to find a way to play them. It makes Yoongi sad and happy all at once. He wouldn’t have done that, had any hope like that to begin with. 

You both walk back to your new found home quietly, but now shoulder to shoulder.

You gasp, making Yoongi pause. “Oh! Look at that. The wall-”

Vine had grown all over the concrete fence. Between the two panels, vegetation had come in between them and on the sides, and now the gray that could still be seen resembled-

“It looks like the Army logo!” you laugh happily.

Yoongi looks at you. His eyes seem lost and far away and so reverent, and at the same time, he looks at you with that same reverence.

And Yoongi knows he shouldn’t. Not after Seokjin had confessed to him his growing feelings for you, or when Jimin looks at you so longingly during those moments you’re not looking.

Not after Yoongi had noticed the way his leader always gravitates to your side, and Jungkook’s red ears and wide smile when you give him your undivided attention. Yoongi knows there was already enough discontent in the group. He shouldn’t feel the same way.

But you’ve wound yourself around him like those branches. 

You’ve grown on the rapper, your attitude and your kindness and your strength and your smile. He feels it, that excitement when he looks at the hidden symbol, only for a second, only because of you, and he’s grateful to you. 

Your eyes follow his gaze, looking at him in excitement over such a small thing, a small sign that meant…still means so much to him…so much it hurts to remember. It hurts to think about what he had and what he lost. You mean so much to him. And he can’t lose you too.

Your eyes sparkle before they turn questioning, and before you can ask, Yoongi is already kissing you.

Your eyes widen, and your hand presses against his chest. Yoongi’s muscles are hard against your palm and makes you gasp how solid and warm he feels. He kisses you deeper, quickly, indulgently before he makes himself pull away.

You're both breathing hard, you look at him surprised, mouth agape, your lips still tingling from his contact.

He did it right in front of the house.

And right in front of his bandmates, waiting for both of you to return. 

Shit, he thinks. Where did all his control go?! He wishes he could blame you, after all the things you do to make his heart burst so much he bursts to feel you.

He makes a quick apology before turning away from you. He knows he’s fucked up again when he feels your grip on his shoulder as you try to pull him back unsuccessfully and your silence following.

Maybe somewhere deep down he wanted you to chase him, and somewhere deeper he was disappointed you didn’t.

---

“Someone kissed you, someone here kissed you?! One of my brothers kissed you?!”

“No! No, no.” You say rather unconvincingly in Jimin’s opinion. 

“...”

“Yes?”

“So? Who was it? I know it wasn’t Jungkook or Taehyung because they were the ones whispering about it.”

You groan inwardly. “Well it doesn’t really matter, because he didn’t mean to, but um, it was– and he regrets it! I think. Well he definitely regretted the first time-” you mumble, annoyed.

“First?! As in, this was the second time?!”

“Uhhhh…”

“Did you kiss him back?”

“...”

Jimin sighs, rubbing his eyes. “So that’s why you didn’t want to be with me,” he laughs bitterly.

“What! No! Well yes…but not for that reason! Ugh! Jimin please,” you inhale deeply, “Yoongi regretted it as soon as it happened. I just didn’t want you…if we had done more, I didn’t want you to feel stuck with me once we reached Seoul,” you sigh.

“YOONGI KISSED YOU? TWICE?!”

“Eh? No? Yes?”

“You do know zombies are attracted to noise, right?!”

“Shut up, Dev!”

Taehyung and Jungkook, the cause of this commotion (because it was definitely not you and Yoongi) pull Jimin away. 

“Maybe you should go check the bathroom, y/n,” Jungkook pleads.

You don’t have to be told twice. You nod, at a loss for words.

-

You stare at the half filled plastic tub situated in the middle of the bathroom, contemplating on drowning yourself. 

It would certainly make things easier for the group. You decide probably not the best thing to do at the moment and pull off your shirt.

The door opens mid undress, and you decide to just pull off the dirtied material anyways.

“Oh shit, sorry! I thought you might have been done already.”

“Oh, I was…preoccupied.” Interrogated, more like it, you sigh. You cover your chest with the dirtied shirt, staring at BTS leader, Kim Namjoon, who looks sheepishly at his feet. “You wanted to use the water?” you ask hesitantly.

“No,” he lies, “We already washed up.”

“You did a shit job.” You notice his hair is still a little bit greasy.

Namjoon laughs. “Well Jungkook is rationing water like a maniac, we were only allowed a bowl full each.”

You suddenly feel horrible looking at the tub full of water you were about to use. “I’m sorry, that’s not fair, you can use the water first.”

“No, no! You deserve it out of all of us.”

“What?! No I don’t!” you exclaim, pulling Namjoon to the tub and heading for the door.

“Hold up, Jungkook will murder me if you don’t use this water,” Namjoon laughs.

You pause. Grabbing a towel and soaking it, you squirt soap across it. “Well…you need it more,” you smile half heartedly, holding the towel out for him to take. “Please.”

Namjoon sighs, pausing at the door. 

He shuts it.

-

You sit on the closed toilet, suddenly realizing the situation you’ve put yourself in as Namjoon pulls off his shirt. He takes the towel from you, holding it to his face and sighing.

Where did your shirt go?! Should you go put a shirt back on? Should you leave and give him privacy? Or maybe you should stay very very still in hopes he forgets you’re still here. You glance over at Namjoon, trying not to stare as he wipes his chest.

Namjoon bends over your lap, wetting the towel again.

“Do you want help with your err back?” you ask.

Namjoon looks over at you. He hasn’t said a word since he’s closed the door. He simply nods, turning his back to you.

You notice all the scars littered across his torso and arms. It's sad what this new world does to you, you can’t escape it no matter who you are.

You wipe down his spine and across, over a particularly deep looking scar. It’s so close to his spleen, it must have been a scary situation. “How did you get that one?” 

“I think it was when we were running through the woods after our first lake run. We hadn’t anticipated so many of them. I fell down and got jabbed by a branch, went in pretty deep,” he grunts, remembering the pain and having to get back up and keep running even as blood seeped out of his gash.

“Clumsy,” you tsk. Namjoon chuckles, back to being silent. So you tell him to lean over the tub. You cup water in your palms to wet his hair and you grab some of your shampoo.

He sighs as your nails massage the soap into his scalp, his arm absentmindedly holding your leg. You tell yourself it's so his clumsy self stays steady.

You pick up a cup and let the water run through his hair. “Don’t tell the others I did that for you, they might get mad at me.” You wonder just how mad Jimin currently is.

He shakes his head, flinging water at you, nodding happily. You laugh, looking away. His pants are soaking. 

“Thank you.”

“I can leave, so you can finish cleaning your body,” you mumble.

“Or,” Namjoon says softly, “you could stay.”

That makes you look up. Namjoon stands upright, he looks so tense and wound up. You are faring no better, and this was supposed to be a relaxing experience! 

“Do you want me to stay?” you ask slowly.

“Yes.” Namjoon says without missing a beat.

“Okay. So, I’ll stay,” you swallow.

“I can help you too, wash your back.” 

You scoff. But he’s serious.

You have gotten very close to them, spending every waking minute with them, falling asleep in their arms, you’ve lost count how many times it’s happened. You try to always tell yourself it’s what you must do to survive, that’s all there is to it. That sort of familiarity was a kind of preservation.

This is probably the closest thing you’ve done with the leader. And the way he looks at you, with such a soft look in his eyes, making you second guess yourself, that mantra just doesn’t seem to fit this time. 

You decidedly turn around, reaching for your bra clasp. Namjoon undoes it quickly, easily, surprising you.

Now it's Namjoon’s turn to look over the scars littering your body. They look deep and painful.

He touches one in particular. It’s a miracle you lived. 

He holds his hand there, over the scar, palm resting on your side. Your heart feels like it’s pumping a thousand beats per minute.

He delicately runs the towel across your shoulder blades as you cross your arms over your chest.

You shiver when the cold cloth touches your skin. “I told you it was going to be cold,” Namjoon laughs. “You wanted to soak in that.”

“I’ll still do it,” you say stubbornly, getting used to the cool sensation.

You turn around once he seems to have gone over your back three times over. You were both topless, however you kept yourself covered with your arms. You didn’t protest when he wiped your neck and collar bone. You were concentrating on not making any noise at all actually, worried for the sounds that might come out.

Namjoon was taking deeper breaths, through and out his nose.

You wondered what kind of reaction he would have if you dropped your hands.

You also wondered how long it’s been since Namjoon has seen a woman’s body up close like this. You had already noticed how his eyes kept glancing down at your cleavage every other second. It’s been a long time since someone has seen you naked.

It would be like a thank you. 

Were you really thinking about flashing the idol?!

But Namjoon…has become more. Felt like more…he was more to you. He’s more special to you than you could have possibly imagined.

Also you just kind of want to see his reaction. You chuckle.

Namjoon quirks his head, a small smile surfacing. “What?”

Oh god, what’s wrong with you?! Was the thought of showing him your boobs that amusing to you?

“I just realized you’re the only person that can really see me like this.”

“Is that why you’re avoiding Jimin?” He asks.

“Part of the reason,” you mumble.

“The others will-”

“No.” You shut down whatever his suggestion might be. “You’re the only person I trust completely, Namjoon.”

He nods. “I trust you completely too.”

You shy away, turning back around. Hearing your words repeated back to you, you didn’t realize how…intimate it sounded.

You hear Namjoon unbuckling his belt. You didn’t know what to do, so you started unbuttoning your pants as well. For some reason, your brain thought if you were both naked, that would make it less awkward. The mind is a funny thing.

You let your pants drop. Your heart rate is now ringing inside your ears.

You stumble over to the small tub, standing in the middle, waiting, glancing over your shoulder to a very naked Namjoon, hands over his manhood.

“You’re not really gonna-”

“Oh, I definitely am.” You try to sound as confident as possible with your heart fully jumping outside your chest and your eyes staring directly at your toes. “You too?”

-

“How is it?”

“Freezing.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Whatever!” You cup some water and let it trickle down your front.

It’s cramped as hell, you’re trying very hard to ignore Namjoon’s naked member pressed up against your bum. The water is cold, but every place Namjoon's skin comes into contact with yours, warmth is radiating.

Namjoon smiles. You're spooned against his front, knees pulled to your chest. He has to reach down your legs to wet his towel again, running the damp cloth across his neck and shoulder. He relaxes against you, resting his head against the tub’s rim as you meticulously lather soap over your body and through your hair. He tries to remember what compelled him to do this with you. 

He wanted to be closer with you, and well now, he thinks there is no way he could possibly get any closer unless he jumped into your skin.

He didn’t want to leave you. Even though he knew he should have gone the moment he saw your shirt over your arms and your cleavage on display. He knew you were just being nice offering him your bath, but you looked at him eyes so pleadingly, half naked too, Namjoon wanted to stay with you, so he did.

He didn’t want you to leave him either. So he asked you to stay. He told himself, if you said no, then he wouldn’t push, he would accept that was going to be as close as he would be able to get for now. But then you stayed. He got what he wanted.

And now you were naked in his lap, happily splashing around while his balls froze, and Namjoon was exactly where he wanted to be. He probably shouldn’t feel so satisfied about it, but he’s been having to quietly deal with not being able to do what he truly wanted for so long…

“Well I’m having fun,” you laugh.

“Me too.”

“Y/n is that you?”

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. 

“Yeah, yeah it’s me. I’ll be out in a bit. I'm, um, busy!” You try to stand, but you have no footing.

“Oh okay!” Taehyung yells back. You listen for any sounds of movement. 

“I can’t find Hobi or Joon, do you know where they went?”

“No um no, I don’t know where Hobi OR JOON is! I don’t know, I’ll uhh help you look after I’m done…go away now– Close the bedroom door when you leave! I need to grab my clothes.”

Taehyung sees two large shirts on the bed. He likes the color of one. “You want them now?”

“NO! No no, I’m busy, you should leave. I can’t um concentrate with you there.”

“Okay okay.” Jeez. Taehyung pouts. It’s not like he hasn’t heard it all before. But women are touchy with things like that so he lets you have your privacy.

You had floundered like a fish, leaning over to make sure Taehyung could hear you, arm outstretched in case you needed to throw the door closed. You had completely forgotten your, very naked, predicament.

Two of those predicaments pressed right against Namjoon’s cheeks. 

Now you are very much understanding what you’ve done, and how rigid Namjoon is, trying not to think about you pressed up against him. And you notice how rigid something else is…..

You freeze in shock.

That doesn’t help Namjoon’s current situation.

“I can’t leave now. It will be too obvious,” Joon says, fighting every mortal urge inside him at this point.

You peel your breasts off him, falling out of the tub and onto slippery tile.

“I’ll leave!” Shit. Your own self restraint is hanging on by threads. You need alone time. How are you gonna get it here?

Fuck, it’s cold now, you’re missing Namjoon’s body against yours, you’re really missing it.

“Stay.”

“Namjoon, listen– oh,” you had intended to tell him the same thing you told Jimin, you hadn’t expected him to see him so...exposed.

Namjoo stood one foot out of the tub, skin wet and glistening, hand not so much covering much of anything as he gripped his very very erect cock.

Your mind goes blank. This was the first time you’ve seen him…that. Not in quick shy glances at the lake, not in unfocused looks, eyes downcast or upcast or anywhere but his fucking sexy body cast. You were shamelessly staring at the man in front of you, eyes wide open.

Namjoon looks so goddamn hot, so big. And you made him that hard, you can’t even bother to cover yourself, noticing his eyes looking hungrily at your bare chest as he runs his hand down his cock, gripping it tight. 

You look up at him, panting. Goddammit, he’s so goddamn hot, touching himself to your body. You might just hyperventilate right in front of him, but that would be super unsexy of you.

Namjoon runs his tongue across his bottom lip, grunting. Or was that a moan?!

You feel so wet, so burning up, you’re surprised the water hasn’t evaporated off your skin.

“If we…if we…we’re just helping each other. Like friends. We’re just…”

Namjoon nods, too horny to think straight anyways he’d agree to anything you said.

Namjoon doesn’t say anything, just bends down, laying his body over yours so you can feel his warmth against you again.

It was your first kiss with Namjoon. Previously, there were moments at night when his lips grazed your shoulder, a couple times against the crook of your neck, that you chose to believe was something sort of a reflex he would do half asleep, probably remembering someone who was not you, an action he never mentioned once morning came. But this kiss was so desperate, full of passion and want. His lips were strong and rough, his mouth was devouring you.

You reach between your legs, gripping his length finally. “Fuck, you’re so hard,” you moan, impressed. “I am so wet right now.”

“Oh fuck,” Namjoon whimpers.

Fuck! He whimpered! 

Yep. You’re gonna do it. There is no fucking way you’re gonna leave here without cuming. 

You arch your back into him, hand now moving furiously up and down his cock. He kisses you, tongue licking into your open mouth. His fingers meet yours as he reaches for your center. You bite back moans, closing your eyes as his digits dig into your thigh, hiking up one leg to open you up for his skilled fingers.

You gasp, catching his eyes, the way his brows furrow and his intense gaze, so very different from when he’s half asleep. His fingers reach in deep inside you, a sensation you haven’t felt in so long. You try to focus on his pleasure, running your hand up and down his length, finding a speed he responds to the most and trying your best to keep it up as you fall apart under his own ministrations.

You finally lose your very intense very sexy staring match when he curls his fingers into you, your eyes rolling back. “Fuck…yes…yes,” you groan.

Namjoon is close, kissing you when he finally reaches his high, silencing himself against your lips as you shudder against him.

He breathes heavily against you. He wanted to do more with you, it was too quick, he was too quick, he thinks cursing himself, even though he should have anticipated that kind of reaction to finally being touched by another person in so long. But time, like everything now, is scarce.

You stare up at the ceiling, post orgasm clarity hitting you like a ton of bricks. Did you just really do that?! It just all happened so fast, and now Namjoon is laying over you so heavy you can't move. Namjoon lifts himself up after catching his breath and you stare at each other.

You wonder what he’s thinking. You’re too embarrassed to ask. At least you’re in the perfect place to clean yourselves up.

---

You’ve all decided to move tonight, closer to the river, closer to Seoul. Everything is packed! You’re all ready, well fed, prepared. You should all be feeling pretty confident at this point. But everyone’s in a bad mood, tense, well almost everyone.

Taehyung is staring at Namjoon’s new shirt suspiciously and the way he seems way too relaxed about things, the way he stands right behind you, extremely close, bodies touching like...no way...

‘No, definitely not.’ Taehyung thinks...he hopes not. Damn, he should have taken that shirt when he had the chance! You catch Taehyung’s narrowed stare and immediately look away like you are hiding something. “How did you like it?” Jungkook walks up to you, staring at your freshly cleaned face, you are glowing.

“It was perfect, thank you so so much,” you whisper.

“Do you still have some of the soap you used? You smell good.” You giggle when his nose tickles the crook of your neck as he sniffs you, knocking him away playfully.

“Mhmm it’s not soap,” you say happily, “It’s lotion!”

Jungkook holds his hand out expectantly. “Boy, your skin is perfect, you do not need it, I do!”

“Noona, share!” Jungkook whines.

“Finders keepers! Fine, I’ll let you borrow some later, remind me,” you laugh.

Taehyung stares at Namjoon, who is cracking his knuckles, his jaw tensing as he watches Jungkook touch you playfully. Taehyung notices the way his leader’s eyes immediately soften when you look over your shoulder and call his name asking if he was ready, smiling. He smiles too.

‘Oh my god,’ Taehyung thinks.

-

The group decides to break up into pairs and one trio. Normally you would have said, hell no, that’s being-chased-by-monsters rule number one, never split up the group! 

But it was easier to move around this way, to hide quickly.

The first pair would make sure they had the second always in their sights and it would go down the line like that, so it was easy to alert the closest pair to any signs of danger and the message could get to the whole group no matter how far spread out.

And it was strategic, one pair could lure monsters away while the others slipped through. Another pair could help you escape. And if it came to the worst, at least it would only be a few, and not all of you…

Taehyung decides to step in when you and Namjoon want to be paired together, so that’s why you are currently holding hands with the baritone singer, crab walking behind a fence.

You pass by shops with Taehyung, looking through the store windows. You want to explore, you would have if you were alone. But now you were part of a group, with a group objective, and group members who were counting on you, so you move steadily forward. That would have been a cute outfit though.

Every once in a while the pair in front of you stops, sends you and Taehyung a series of hand gestures to translate. This time, you learn there are nine zombies at your ten o’clock. 

Taehyung lets Jin and Yoongi know, telling them to follow you and him to the right while Namjoon and Hoseok throw rocks, leading the monsters away.

Taehyung has been unusually quiet. You suspect he’s probably mad at you on behalf of Jimin, so you don’t push him to make small talk. Grudges become trivial in these kinds of situations anyways. 

You turn a corner and notice three zombies hunched near the remains of a food stall. 

You wonder, were they customers at some point in their lives? They don’t notice you and they are pretty far away, but could definitely become a problem later. You and Taehyung exchange looks. “I’ll handle it,” you say.

“I got your back,” he whispers, signaling for the others to wait and hide.

One, down, a middle aged woman missing a huge chunk of her calf, her eyes so clouded she couldn’t see anymore, just smelled you too late.

Two, down, a business man still wearing his work suit, a hole in his jacket and his intestines falling out, his jaw crooked, a limp in his walk, he was already falling apart before you destroyed him completely.

The third one, he only had one bite mark on his neck. His clothes were grimy, like everything else in this new world, but his skin still had a lively color. He looks like he was turned not even a day ago, and he’s fast. 

You fall down. Taehyung sinks his knife into the undead’s neck when he jumps on you, but the angle doesn’t hit where it needs to and the zombie turns his body to attack the idol. You grab the zombie at his ankles, giving Taehyung enough time to strike where it counts. Taehyung is shaken but okay. You are winded but okay.

You see the two eldest running towards your location and you hold up your hand to tell them not to worry. But they don’t stop, instead signaling you to hide. Taehyung pulls you up by the elbow and you run towards the empty stall.

“Grab that guy!”

“What?!”

“Hurry!” you hiss, yanking the now fully dead woman across the pavement.

One, Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, you count. Did you hear that right? Ten different pairs of feet dragging across pavement, ten different tones, growling, passing by you and Taehyung, currently lying under a broken stall table, with two corpses covering you. They drag around you, bodies shadowed on the red plastic table cloth covering you and Taehyung.

You both stay hidden, taking short breaths, listening intently, fingers numb from holding each other. The plastic tablecloth keeps you hidden but also traps the heat in and doesn't give you any field of vision. God, it smells horrible, the smell of death. You squeeze Taehyung’s hand tighter, letting the pain take your mind off the stench. You notice sweat roll down his forehead as Taehyung scrunches up his nose, trying not to inhale the smell.

Taehyung looks at you, telling you to wait, because he already knows that you’re itching to leave, to run, to fight. He tightens his already crushing grip. 

“You remember what you promised me?” You promised Taehyung something? You look at him questioningly. “Before I become like them, kill me, so I don’t hurt my brothers.”

“We’re going to get out of here, okay?” Taehyung nods, very unconvinced. “Hobi and Joon, did you see where they ran?” Taehyung nods again, very not ready to leave. “I know you’re mad at me, but do you trust me?” Taehyung’s eyes go wide.

“I’m not mad at you.” 

The growls can no longer be heard. You pull a corner of the table cloth up, looking around, seeing the undead group dispersed and in the distance, only moving shadows in the night now. “So you got my back, right?” Taehyung nods, eyes focused. “We’re gonna go really slow, clear the area as much as possible. If we see one, and they’re a slow one too, we’re gonna let them come to us.”

“And if it’s like him?” Taehyung gestures to the corpse next to him. 

You smile, “We’re gonna let them come to me. You take them down. We just have to last until the others get to us. I trust you, Tae.”

You’re breaking your second rule on being-chased-by-monsters. Always run from newly turned zombies. But you’re doing it for Taehyung, for the group. 

Also, you can’t deny that you and Taehyung have both gotten very good at defending yourselves. Of course every zombie encounter is life or death, of course it’s a terrifying experience to fight one, one Taehyung would rather avoid, but he hasn’t lost yet! The odds are in your favor.

This so happens to be just another night out in post apocalyptic times. And as you hold Taehyung’s hand, now standing in the middle of the unlit street, watching a few ambling monsters start ambling your way, you and Taehyung start to walk as if you were just out on a stroll, and you think, this is not the most horrible night out you’ve had post apocalypse, and you might even go far as to say pre-apocalypse either, thinking about that night you ended up in the ER. 

Twelve more, down, you and Taehyung have stopped. You stand back to back, looking around for any signs of life. 

“Should we just call out for help?” Taehyung suggests, looking around for any signals to where his brother’s have gone.

It’s so quiet now, you can only hear Taehyung, maybe the others are being quiet on purpose. “Not yet. Which way did you see Hobi and Joon go?”

“I think we should go back and find Jin and Yoongi.”

“Oh? Okay...” you let Taehyung lead you away. “W-Wait! Do you hear that?”

It sounds like a ticking, no, more like a pounding. Something heavy bumping into glass. You situate yourself against Taehyng’s back again. “What is that?”

“I don’t know, do you see where it’s coming from?” you whisper, looking at the buildings around you. Could it be the others? Are they in trouble?

Taehyung holds your hand, bracing himself, “Yeah.” He sees a young woman, banging on the glass in an abandoned store. It is fairly far, at first Taehyung thought she was signaling for help…

…but she’s banging on the door with her head.

There’s so much blood, but Taehyung can clearly see the way she bares her teeth. And in the shadows, Taehyung can just make out some movement, something else, coming closer. “We need to hide. Now!”

You look over your shoulder, to see what Taehyung sees, just in time to witness the glass break. Taehyung is leading you away before you can respond, running faster than you can keep up in the opposite direction. You stumble into an alleyway, looking for a place to hide. “WHY IS IT BLOCKED?!” 

You have found yourselves at a dead end, a car jammed in the narrowest alleyway, turned over on its side, probably trying to escape the exact kind of monsters chasing after you now. 

The monsters find you as you and Taehyung are desperately trying to climb over the car. “Wait wait wait!” Taehyung holds his hands up, knife ready to stab.

The zombie actually stops.

“Did you just speak zombie to her?” you ask incredulously.

It was probably a coincidence as the monster starts running towards you and Taehyung again. “Stop!”

“It’s not stopping, Taehyung! Just run!”

“It was worth another try.”

The zombie is catching up, not caring how badly damaged its body becomes as it catapults itself over the car. Taehyung trips, pulling you down with him. You’re sure to have cuts across your palms and elbows as you crawl away on the hard pavement.

Now the distance is closed, and there’s two more crawling over the top of the car like ants over a hill looking for something sweet to devour.

But before you can defend yourself, her head is already gone. “Get up!” An older man yells at you. Taehyung pulls you up as a strange group takes down the remaining zombies.

The stranger runs to the backdoor of a store, opening it with a key, ushering everyone inside until the last man joins you, and the old man locks the door again. “Thank you,” Taehyung says, winded.

The man introduces himself and the group. “We saw you outside, on the street,” he says. “It was impressive,” he adds. The pair of you seemed fearless taking on so many zombies, so he thought…

You stay quiet as Taehyung and the man talk. You look around, counting four other men and two women. You notice each woman clinging onto a man, presumably their boyfriend, and you glance down at your own hand, fingers still interlaced with Taehyung.

“Is it just you two?”

“Yes.” Taehyung says. There was another reason you broke off into groups, so if you ran into anyone living, depending on your situation, you could make sure they wouldn’t know about the others. “We’re trying to get to Seoul.” You hear soft laughter. Why is it always so funny?!

You haven’t spoken up, only stared at the group, trying to gauge their level of hostility. They seem curious about you and they don’t seem to have recognized Taehyung. “I don’t think there will be much left when you get there,” one of the men speaks up. “I escaped Seoul.”

They always say that too…

“What happened in Seoul?” Taehyung asks. “What do you remember?”

“What I remember? I think I blocked most of it out now,” he laughs bitterly. “The first day, it must have been half…half of everyone changed into biters by that night..” A few others nod their head in agreement. “We were told to stay in our homes, shelter in place, so we thought, ‘that’s good news,’ right? Someone would come and save us, bring us food and supplies at least, but there was...nothing. We had internet, we could contact our friends and family for a while. But power stopped eventually, and then we were really fucked to hell. No one came to help us, only to try to break down our doors to get inside. Once we finally left, it was completely changed, I’ve never seen anything like it. Seoul wasn’t Seoul anymore.”

“What about the military?”

“They tried their damndest from what I heard, but they were all overrun by those things, even the American base,” he eyes you up and down, wondering where you came from and if you understood him, your impassive face not giving anything away, He also questioned…bitterly…why a foreigner managed to survive all this time when his friends, his family, hadn’t. 

“It can’t all be destroyed,” Taehyung says, choking on his words.

The man clears his throat, “There were rumors of certain communities in Gangnam and in Itaewon that created a good enough fortification, what’s left of the military now fends off the biters for them. But we also heard they would shoot anyone who came close to their buildings, living or not really.”

Taehyung seems to light up at that new information regardless. If rumors and half truths were anything to go by, that meant there still might be some hope someone he knew survived. Taehyung turns to you, “That’s good news, right?” You nod. Well, if you were to ignore the shooting on sight part.

“T-That’s not– Did you listen to me? If you go to Seoul you will die.” The man interrupts. 

“You said there were survivors-”

“Yeah, they got the important people up in there, in their damn billion won penthouses, ready to kill off anyone who even tries to get close. It was rumored even the president ended up there. Or escaped to North Korea, some say. But it doesn’t matter, because they killed everyone else! They’re not going to let you in, even if you manage to get there. And the rest of the city is hell on earth. Trust me, you don’t want to take her there.”

Oh shit. You study the two women, do they recognize Taehyung? What will they do once they find out? Take out their anger on one of those billion won penthouse owners? Thank god it’s dark in here, only a few rays of light from the moon shine through the windows and everything else is in the shadows, you and Taehyung included.

“And you have a place here, if you want it.” The old man interjects. “It was impressive, what you did, both of you,” he repeats. He needs more people like you here, he needs more fighters. There’s already so many factions in Hongcheon, it’s a miracle his tiny group has survived up until now.

“Can we…think about it? We still need to get supplies, that’s why we came out in the first place. We’ll go out and come back here, now that we know this place is safe.” Taehyung says.

“Okay, go and help him.” The older man asks another.

“I can show you where we sleep,” one of the women walks up to you, putting her head on her hands in case you didn’t understand her.

“No, she’s coming with me,” Taehyung interjects. He hasn’t let go of your hand this entire time.

“I know you want to protect her.” The older man adds, noticing the way you stayed glued to each other, even when you fought the monsters you always held onto each other's hands unless you absolutely had to let go, only for moments at a time. “It would be safer for her to stay here.”

You look at Taehyung with wide eyes, trying to convey to him all the things you want to say. Like, hell fucking no! There is no fucking way you are letting him out of your sight! Who the fuck cares whatever place they have to sleep looks like?! They’ve got to be kidding-

“Uh, let me talk to her, to explain!” Taehyung pulls you away, deeper into the store.

“Taehyung, you can’t be seriously thin-”

“I noticed the front door is barricaded, there might be a window in the bathroom, no, that’s not gonna work-”

“Oh-”

“We need to leave, y/n. Right now.”

You nod. “Do you think they recognize who you are? We need to be careful.”

“Yeah.” Even if it’s been awhile, Taehyung knows better than anyone, he still can spot a fan just by the way they look at him, the way they act, or pretend to act.

“How are we going to leave without them noticing?” You glance over to the strangers, trying to see if they are talking amongst themselves, if they are being told about Taehyung.

He pulls you further away, eyeing the shelves, glancing over his shoulder at the group. Taehyung sighs. “I think we’re gonna have to break one of our rules-”

Oh great, there goes rule number three on being-chased-by-monsters, out the window.

-

“We know all the places that have been already cleared of biters, there might be a few stranglers, but nothing like what you just went through.”

“Okay,” Taehyung eyes the way you visibly frown as one of the women tries talking to you about the roles the men and women accomplish day by day, and he tries not to laugh. 

The more of these “chores” she goes through, the more it’s sounding like they want to turn you into a 1950s housewife. And she might be all too content to sweep the post apocalyptic dust around the store so it can settle into another corner for the next day, but you certainly are not!

And why is Taehyung smiling at you?! “Okay, I’ll be right back.” Taehyung gives you a hug, and touches your cheek softly, looking into your eyes like he’s about to kiss you.

And then he kisses you. 

What. You close your eyes and just go with it, trying not to look too surprised or too awkward.

And then he bends down and kisses your stomach, smiling, before giving you one last kiss on your forehead. “Just wait and remember to let them come to you,” he whispers against your temple.

Eh? Did Taehyung just Peeta you? You get he’s trying to protect you, but you think you might actually murder him after this. You look around, grinning as wide as you can pretend to, seeing everyone’s surprised faces.

“Wait,” you tug on Taehyung’s sleeve. Actually, you really hate this, you don’t want him to leave you here! So much has changed since you last broke rule number three: never go out at night on your own. You hold his head in your hands. Somehow holding him like this, with your foreheads and noses touching, feels more intimate than when your lips touched.

“Please, be careful…for the baby,” you add. Taehyung nods, smiling. He hugs you tight and you’re both reluctant to let each other go.

If they had any doubts you and Taehyung were together, they didn’t anymore.

-

“So, you’re pregnant?” The woman makes an arch over her stomach with her arm, “Baby?”

“Yep,” you fake smile, holding your belly and inwardly groaning. 

You walk aimlessly around the store, most of the shelves are empty now, apart from things like a row of pastel phone cases, this plastic thing that you can’t figure out what its supposed to be, hmm, it seems collapsible, but even the smaller size doesn’t make sense to you! And, ironically, you find a row of baby powder. Damn, even in the apocalypse people don’t forget how bad it is for you.

There’s the older gentleman, two women, and one of their boyfriend’s who stays behind in the store. Just wait, y/n. Wait. Did Taehyung forget how impatient you are?

“Bathroom?” you ask.

“Oh, it’s outside but we can’t go now. Wait. Later. Outside,” the woman, whom you learn is named Jinyoung, says, hoping you understand.

You sigh, you could make a fuss, you know pregnant women and their bladders, but you really don’t want to pee in a bucket somewhere inside here to prove a point. You flick the crumpled remains of some food packaging, sifting through the junk. Everything is empty apart from what you found, which Jinyoung promptly grabs from your grasp. “Oh, no, no good,” Jinyoung speaks up, “baby powder causes cancer.” You smile at her, laughing awkwardly.

The couple seems preoccupied at least, you think, they are all looking at you, however. You catch their eyes peering at you every so often. You feel like a caged animal putting on a show. This is an act in a way. 

The store is pretty clean despite having been ransacked. You could try and run upstairs to the living quarters, but you had no idea what was waiting up there for you. The front door is indeed blocked. The glass windows look thick, probably won’t break unless you throw something really heavy at it, and even if you want to escape, you won’t destroy their home to do it. The old man is standing guard by the back door, blocking your only exit. Ugh. 

It’s been awhile, at least a couple of hours now. You listen to the women whisper to one another while you try not to run head first into the glass like that zombie woman just so you can escape this place and search for Taehyung and the others.

“I knew there had to be a reason why he was with her.”

“He’s a good man, watching over her. They really care about each other.”

“Because she’s carrying his child, obviously.”

“That’s exciting though. A small Taehyungie, She’s so lucky.”

“Yeah, that’s going to be more people to feed.”

“It’s going to be the most beautiful baby, oh! You know, if she survives.”

“She definitely won’t.”

Mmm don’t think murderous thoughts, y/n. It’s bad for “the baby.” ‘It’s been too long, they should be here by now,’ you think. ‘Ok, screw this plan,’ you think, finding something you thought you’d never see again: a jar of gochujang paste.

“Hey old man, please will you move and open the door, I need to leave.”

“It’s not safe to go out alone, young lady. Your boyfriend should be back soon, don’t worry.”

“Are you holding me prisoner?”

“Of course not,” he says, flabbergasted not only by your accusation but your ability to speak fluently, “but I also will not allow you to put yourself in danger under my watch. I know we are strangers to you, for now, but we should still look out for one another-”

“Let her go if she wants to go!” one of the women says.

“I appreciate you saved my life, I really do. So this is a courtesy to you, I’m protecting you, from me.”

“What is she saying? She doesn’t make any sense.”

Ugh. “I’m bitten. I got bitten, and I’m going to turn, so let me out!”

“What?!” 

You lift up your shirt, “I didn’t want to say anything before, not in front of my…partner. But see, I have to go! You’re in danger the longer I’m in here!” You show him a scar on your side, where you have strategically placed the dark red paste to look like a bleeding bite mark.

“Kill her!”

“Or just let me leave?!”

“Oh my god, can we save the baby?”

“She’s not even showing! What are we gonna save?”

The younger man runs up to you, chasing you through the aisles. “Just let me go outside, damn.”

“Your Korean is so good!” Jinyoung exclaims.

“Thank you,” you say, barely dodging the man’s fist.

Suddenly, there is a pounding on the door, scaring everyone into silence. “Open the door!” Jinyoung exclaims.

“There’s a code,” the man waits. The pounding gets louder and quicker, rattling the door.

“What if they are in trouble! Open it!” you yell.

“What if it’s those biters?! We can’t let them in!”

“Hello, did you forget about me?!” you whine.

“OPEN IT!”

“Please, hurry!”

The older man relents, unlocking the door. And in bursts-

“Jin!” you cry out.

“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD.” Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi are right behind him. Someone, you can’t tell if it’s Jinyoung or the other woman, screams. 

Namjoon holds out his knife, pointing it at the old man. “We’re not going to hurt you, we just came to get our friend.” You run towards the singers as fast as your legs can take you.

There is another reason why you broke into pairs, so you could save each other. Namjoon grabs you first, pulling you into a hug. 

“She’s bitten, stay away from her!”

You pull out the gochujang from your pack, “Oh, I lied, sorry, I just really wanted to leave.”

“But t-the bite-”

“Fooled you, didn’t I? It does look like blood if you dilute it enough.”

“Oh my god, you found this?!” Seokjin asks excitedly.

“Let’s go!” Yoongi grunts.

-

“Where’s Taehyung?!” You jog up to the leader. 

“We’re getting there,” he says. You haven’t stopped running since leaving the store. 

Finally you see that moppy headed menace, running towards your group. “Next time YOU wait!”

“But my plan worked, didn’t it?”

“You really just had to tell them I’m pregnant?”

“Hey, I was doing it to protect you! I didn’t know if they might hurt you because of who you were.” Taehyung says, and the irony is not lost on you.

“How did you get away from those men?”

“It was pretty easy, I just said I was bit-”

“No way, me too!”

“How much longer do we have to run? My legs hurt!” Seokjin yells.

“Pace yourselves because it’s gonna be a while,” Hoseok says.

“Next thing we look for are some better shoes,” you whine.

A zombie runs towards your group, and you use the opportunity to take out your frustrations of the night, piercing through the monster’s jaw and up. The blood goes all over your clothes. Now you look just as dirty as the day before. “I just took a bath. UGH.”

“Don’t upset the baby!” Taehyung laughs, running away from you.

“Oh, you’re gonna get it!” you run. You turn the corner and find Jungkook, Jimin and Dev waiting for you. The group is now all together again, running into the night.

“So, anything new happen? How's the weather?” you ask Dev.

“Those zombies that were following us are taken care of,” Hoseok speaks up.

“We might have more than zombies following us now,” Taehyung adds. “Like living zombies, what are those called again?” he jokes.

“We ran into people too!” Jungkook says, running past you with ease. 

“Yeah?”

“They’re trying to get to Jeju!”

“Jeju, why?” Namjoon asks

“They said that’s the place with no zombies.”

“How do they know?” you ask, intrigued.

“Well they don’t, but that’s what others have told them and they sound pretty convinced.”

“Any news that’s not a rumor?”

“Y/n is pregnant with my child!”

“Yeah, that’s just a lie.”

Taehyung then goes into all the details you’ve learned about Seoul.

“So, we just have to figure out how to not get shot, convince them to let us in, and hope our families are somewhere inside?”

“I don’t think they would shoot BTS.” you say, confident.

“And we have no idea if any other place, if Big Hit, is a safe area or not.” Jin asks.

“I mean, it could be?”

“The odds are not great, but it’s not horrible odds, aye!”

“We’re gonna die.”

“Ugh shut up, Dev. We’re in Hongcheon and we’re doing…okay. I even found gochujang!”

“I can’t have spicy food.”

“UGH DEV PLEASE. It’s not even that spicy!”

“Damn, if only we had meat,” Jungkook sighs.

“Shhh Shh don’t do this to me now, I am running on fumes, literally.” Jin says.

“I want K-BBQ. Please god don’t let me die until I can have K-BBQ again,” Jungkook wails.

“Why are you laughing, y/n?”

“Nothing, it’s a bad joke. You don’t wanna know…also what are the odds a zombie has eaten a person that has been recently caught on fire?”

“Y/n!”

“BAHAHA.”

---

You wake up crying again.

Even in the bright daylight, your tired bodies were fast asleep. You ran all night, finally finding a suitable house that didn’t smell like death, and hid yourselves inside. You look over at the sleeping bodies around you, reflexively counting each head. Wait, what? Someone is missing!

You see the final head, leaning against the open door frame, looking outside. You move quietly and make your way over to him. “Yoongi?”

“Go back to sleep.”

“You should go back to sleep, you look exhausted,” you whisper.

“It was hard to sleep.”

“If you’re worried about someone standing guard, I can stay here.”

“It’s too sunny to sleep now.”

You sigh, giving up arguing with the rapper, sitting in silence with him.

“Why were you crying?” he asks, curious.

“I don’t know,” you laugh. “Sometimes I can remember the dreams, but most of the time I can’t, I just know it was probably something horrible.”

Yoongi has noticed the way you cry in your sleep, shake and whimper until someone holds you, only then will you calm down a bit, so the members take turns making sure you always have someone next to you when you’re resting. “I was thinking, once we get you guys to Seoul, I might try to go to Jeju,” you say wistfully.

“What about the Embassy?” he asks.

“What are they gonna do if they are still even there? How would they get me out of the country? I’m…not as confident that my family is still around.” You give Yoongi a sad smile.

“What about your family here?” You tilt your head, surprised by his words. “You’re gonna leave us?” he asks.

You bite your lip in thought. “I don’t know.” With the way everything changes so quickly, you had no idea what to anticipate. There are so many things that could happen before you reach Seoul and then after, you can’t even begin to figure out your future. “Do you want me to stay?”

Yoongi stays quiet. With you forever, is the implication. “Jeju is nice, I might go to Jeju too,” he says, not looking at you.

You smile at the thought. It’s nice to imagine what a trip there would have been like before the world turned upside down. You hold out your palm to him. “I promise to forget,” you tease.

He puts his fingers in between yours, holding your hand. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, thumb making circles into your skin when you rest your head on his shoulder. It’s pretty outside, in its own special way, how the trees and vines have covered everything now, how everything that’s abandoned sits still and serene. There’s even flowers, sprouting in the most unlikely places.

“Jimin’s mad at me.”

“He’s mad at me too.”

“He’s not mad at you,” Yoongi sighs. “I think he’s in love with you.” You freeze. “And I think you should give him a chance-” he continues. 

“Yoongi. It’s not that I don’t want to give Jimin a chance– Do you really think he’s in love with me?”

“Yea-”

“And if I wasn’t the only woman here do you think he would still be ‘in love’ with me?” you frown.

“Is that why-”

“I just don’t know, Yoongi, I don’t know if I can believe that. I don’t know if he really believes it, or just wants it to be true because I…I am-”

“The only woman here?” Yoongi finishes for you. You hum.

“That’s why you kissed me, right? And Namjoon, nevermind.”

Yoongi stays quiet, until finally asking, “And what do you feel?”

“I can’t, I can’t, I’m scared,” you start to laugh despite your welling eyes. “We almost died, again, last night, how can I let myself fall in love, if something happens, how can I survive that? I can’t.”

“And here I thought you were fearless,” Yoongi smirks, wiping away a stray tear.

You snort. “I’ve never been more scared.”

“You are my family,” you say, answering his previous question. “You are everything I have left. That’s how I feel.”

“Even Dev?”

You laugh, “Yes, even him…maybe.”

Yoongi watches you smile. He understands your fear, he’s felt it, let it consume him, weigh him down until he’s stuck inside himself, frozen by that fear. But this kind of new world forces you to face your demons. You can try to hide, alone, too scared to go outside and too scared to move, but he’s learned hiding in bed under the covers won’t keep you safe, won’t keep the people you love safe either. 

“It’s scary to put yourself out there. It was scary even before the world went to shit.”

“So did you have someone, before?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “No, not really. I was always so damn busy, it was hard to have anything serious. I would go into the studio, work all day, losing track of everything else, I told myself I had plenty of time to settle down. Funny now that I think about it.”

“After?” Yoongi sighs. He looks like he’s in pain, in thought. You hold his hand a little tighter out of reflex. “I’m sorry.” You assume, like most everyone else, the person he cared about is gone.

“To be honest, I can’t believe we made it this far,” you laugh, changing the subject. “You’ve got to have some new songs about all of this. Some, survivor-you-can’t-stop-me type song you’ve got.”

“Writing lyrics is not on the top of my to-do list right now.”

“Mhmm, you’re just collecting pens because you like them, right?”

“I have a few raps,” Yoongi confesses. “No music, no way to make a beat even if I want to.” You make a silent note to try to find Yoongi some kind of an instrument. “Music is gone.” 

“That’s a good song title. But I have to disagree, it’s not gone. I think there are songs everywhere just waiting to be written. This moment? There’s a song,” you look out at the landscape. “Hear it?” You hum a tune you feel.

Yoongi laughs. “You sound like Namjoon.” Namjoon. You can’t think about him without thinking about what happened. How did that even happen?! It was like some horny demon possessed both of you. 

You thought it would be awkward afterwards, but it wasn’t. You put on the clothes you laid out, handed him one of the shirts you found and you laughed when he tripped over his pants leg. Namjoon shoved you playfully, knocking you onto the bed. He looked at you without shying away and told you to put on some pants in a way that sounded like, “I like seeing you without any pants,” and then you both walked outside and acted like nothing ever happened.

But for some reason you can’t act like that with Yoongi, his kisses are haunting you still, his touch is still burning across your lips when you remember (even though you promised him you wouldn’t). You never really got a real answer from him.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

You sit in comfortable silence. The others haven’t stirred awake yet, and you’re content to sit here with Yoongi until they do. You wonder about him, though. Is he happy you’re keeping him company or feeling burdened? Yet he hasn’t let go of your hand.

“You guys are close to one another, you and Joon,” Yoongi says in sort of a questioning way.

“Yeah, I guess. He takes on everyone’s burdens, even my own,” you sigh.

Yoongi nods. He should let go of you. You hum that tune again, looking outside, holding Yoongi’s hand tightly. Instead he clicks his tongue to the beat, making you laugh loudly. “Sorry, sorry.” You look back at the others who thankfully haven’t woken up from your outburst. “That’s good! So you can hear it too then, the song out there,” you joke.

He feels stuck, knowing his brothers want you, and knowing how it feels to kiss you, knowing how soft your lips are, and knowing he can’t kiss you again, he just can’t.

“You’re beautiful.”

You stop laughing.

Yoongi said it in English. 

When you know two languages, it’s hard to explain the differences in the words and how they make you feel. You’ve been called yeppeun. You’ve seen the word in textbooks, heard it in lyrics and Korean shows. 

But beautiful is what your first boyfriend called you right before he kissed you, what your childhood best friend called the butterfly that landed on your knee when you were playing together, what your mom said when she looked at you before you left the house on your first date, what your grandmother called you as a kid so many times when she consoled you and held you in her arms as you cried. “My beautiful girl.”

You’ve been speaking Korean for so long now. It just feels different being called beautiful. Beautiful is what you haven’t felt like in a long time...

“I’m sorry!” you pull away from Yoongi after surprising him with a kiss. 

Yoongi nods. He had wanted to kiss you in that moment so badly he hadn’t expected you would kiss him. It was too quick, it was barely a kiss. Is that really going to be his last kiss with you? “I can’t kiss you anymore.”

“I know, fuck, I’m sorry.” You pull away further, but can’t go far with Yoongi’s vice grip around your fingers.

“I can’t-”

“I’m sorr-”

“I’m sorry.” And he takes the opportunity to kiss you one last time, letting all his unspoken emotions flow through his lips, his tight embrace. He feels your soft lips one last time, he lets his fingertips run across your cheek, your neck, rolls his tongue inside his mouth just once more. He finally breaks away and lets his thumb run across your lip, just to feel one last time.

That should have been the end, yet your eyes start shining, glassy as tears start forming, and you close the gap between you again.

Until you hear something off in the distance. “Did you see that?”

Yoongi looks in the direction you’re studying. “No?” He looks for any sign of life or, well, animated death.

“I swear I saw something,” You both stand up, searching for any movement for a while until you give up. And now kissing Yoongi seems to be left in the past, another thing you can’t get back.

---

One last supply run in the city before you move again.

Everything is empty, this run is not looking very fruitful. You’ve gone to three restaurant already and have managed to find only one tiny can of edible food. You’ve just entered the fourth restaurant and it doesn’t look like this place has anything to offer either.

So far you haven’t encountered any undead, which is the only good thing about this run, until you hear a noise coming from the kitchen of a restaurant you, Jimin, Jungkook and Namjoon are currently searching through.

“Yo RM, come here.”

“What’s up? 

“I thought I heard something over there.”

You make your way through the kitchen. Everything is either gone or moldy. You sigh, “I don’t know if we’re gonna find anything here either.”

“This part of town seems completely empty.”

“What are we gonna do? We need to eat.” You go through another cabinet, finding nothing.

“We still have some food leftover. We can keep trying, stay here for a few more days and check the other streets.”

You nod. This restaurant looks like it specialized in fried chicken, the oil smells putrid now. What’s left in the freezer would probably kill you if you tried to eat it.

“Man, this sucks,” you wipe the sweat accumulating off your forehead.

“Can we do anything with this?”

“Flour? Mmm we could make the blandest pancakes you’ll ever eat,” you laugh.

Namjoon pouts. He pulls off his jacket. It’s safer to wear layers when out, but the days are getting hotter, and no aircon inside makes certain spaces really unbearable.

“You should keep that on,” you eye the way his muscles flex.

“I’m burning up.” You cover his forehead with your palm, checking his temperature. “Not like that-” and Namjoon uses a word you don’t understand.

“What does that mean?”

“Genius.” By the way Namjoon is smiling at you, you just know it means the opposite. “Ow!” he winces when you hit him, looking so accosted you start to giggle. Namjoon hugs you from behind, and the big towering giant he is decides to lift you off your feet, making you squeal.

“N-Namjoon, Y/n!” Jimin sounds scared.

The kitchen door opens. “Sorry to break up whatever this is, but it’s time to come out now and join the others. Oh, you know she was kissing Yoongi the other day, looks like I was right. You’ve got your own groupie whore.”

You knew you felt eyes on you. “Hey Minho.”

“Hey bitch.” He points a gun at you and Namjoon. 

Who the fuck gave this man a gun?

Minho ushers you both out into the eating area, where they are several men with various weapons all aimed at your friends. Minho is the only one with a gun, though.

“I told you I would make you regret choosing her,” he says to Namjoon, sneering at you.

Minho looks possibly even more buff than you remember.  “I made new friends,” he smirks. His new friends look very unfriendly. They lounge around, overly confident, looking amused by the situation. 

“Of course you did,” you grunt. He pushes Namjoon towards Jungkook and Jimin and separates you from the others. 

“I just needed to have been an idol, then you would have given it up, yeah?” he whispers in your ear, grabbing the knives from your pockets and throwing them on the ground.

You roll your eyes. “You’re following us? That’s not creepy at all.”

“Where are the others?” Minho asks Namjoon. He grabs the back of your neck and holds the gun to your temple when Namjoon doesn’t speak. “Where are they?”

“Searching the restaurant next door. We’re only staying a couple more days, then we’ll leave this city.”

“Still believe you can make it to Seoul, huh?”

“Just let us go.”

“We will, after you give us your backpacks. Hurry up now.” The three men glare at him but relent, handing the thieves their packs.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” you ask him.

“Nope,” Minho smirks. “Okay, you can leave now,” he points his gun at the leader.

“Wait, him too.” One of the men speaks up, pointing at Jimin.

“No. The deal was her.”

“Well the deal has changed, I want him too,” he eyes Jimin up and down. Namjoon and Jungkook instantly hide Jimin with their bodies.

You struggle in Minho’s hold. “Minho, what are you doing? What deal did you make with them?!”

Minho stares at Jimin. “Anyone else but him.”

The man looks between the singers. “He’s the prettiest, I want him.”

Minho pauses. Even if he wanted to hurt Namjoon, he still felt a sense to protect Jimin. It had been his job for so many years, and then it had been his decision to keep protecting the singers even after his position wasn’t official any longer. You, he didn’t care about you. But Jimin, deep down, he still cared about him. He couldn’t let something horrible happen to him, not when Minho could stop it.

Minho exhales exasperatedly. “Not him,” he says, pointing the gun at the thief.

“Minho, come on now, you and I both know there’s no bullets in that gun.” What? You elbow Minho in the stomach, running towards the kitchen when he doubles over in pain.

“Grab her!” one of the thieves yells.

Namjoon punches one of the men too distracted by you. Jungkook lunges for your knives on the ground and unleashes all the pent up fury he’s felt on the unlucky few who had tried to hold down the singer. Namjoon and Jimin exchange looks with Minho.

They charge the thieves.

---

“Leave me alone!” You swing a pan in the thief’s face as he swings his knife and both metal pieces clang together. You fall hard on the kitchen tile as he lunges at you. There’s more men, all armed, all coming for you, and the only weapon you have is a stupid pan!

-

You feel like you’re hyperventilating, trapped in such a small space. You bang on the door, crying. It finally opens and someone is shoved inside with you. He’s cut, bruised, thoroughly beat up.

“Piss off your new friends?”

“Not really, we’re going to finish what we started, yeah?”

“Touch me and I'll kill you.”

“I would like to see you try.”

“What happened? They didn’t take Jimin, did they?!” you ask, horrified.

“No, they escaped,” Minho grunts, thumb running over his cut lip.

“Oh. Good,” you say, relieved.

Minho laughs. “And you? Did you forget you’re their prisoner? They are going to do whatever they want to you?”

“If the others escaped, they’ll come for me.”

“You’ve got them whipped for you, must be really good pussy.”

“Ugh, maybe I’m more to them than just a hole, you fuck?”

“You really think they would give you a second glance under normal circumstances?”

“No! I don’t!” you scream. God, he pisses you off. “I thought you would have, that’s why I kissed you! Big mistake that fucking was.”

“So what, you kissed me because you thought I would lower my standards for you?” he jabs. 

Oh, this fucker! He says that like he wasn’t flirting with you for months on end before you kissed him. “You know what?” you cross your arms, “Yeah, I did, Minho. I thought maybe, just maybe, it would be nice to try and have something more with you so we wouldn’t have to, you know, die alone in an apocalypse. But then you ended up being the most vile despicable jackass-”

Minho throws your body against the door, arm pressed against your throat. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! This is all your fault! You ruined everything!”

The door opens just in time for you to catch in oxygen before you pass out. “Will you two shut the hell up! Take her to my room,” he says to one of his men, “Minho, you had your turn, now it’s mine.” It’s that thief, the one who wanted Jimin, the one who seems to be in charge. You scream until the wind is kicked out of you. “Don’t hit her face.”

You crumble inward, trying to cover your body from their kicks until one lifts you up, carrying you over his shoulder while you scream and cry.

-

Shit, the windows are boarded up. The bed, like everything in this building, looks disgusting. Everything else, you notice grimacing, is barren, like this room only had one purpose.

The door slides open.

“Okay girl, we can do this the hard way or the easy way.”

“I’m not easy.” You move to the furthest corner, pressing yourself up against the filing cabinet. You just had to wait, you are an expert at waiting, you tell yourself. You can do this, whatever happens, you can move past this, you tell yourself. Horrible things happen to you all the time, you’re just gonna have to add this to the tally.

“Good, I prefer the hard way.”

Please, god, let them find you soon.

You’ve met men like this before, men that think you owe them something just because you’re a woman. “Smile more,” men who think your body is for their eyes, created for their hands and their mouths and their-

You bite down on his hand, digging your nails into his face. He hits you, hard, but not hard enough to knock you out thankfully. He’s not that kind of man, at least, you think bitterly. He is the kind of man who has no qualms making you know how much stronger he is than you, making it hurt, wants you pretty but also will give you a black eye for daring to go against him. There’s so many men like that now. You feel lucky knowing you have men around you that don’t act like that.

You scream again.

---

Jungkook leaps up the stairs, taking two at a time. He’s in the lead. He’s always been fast, but this time, after months of running from monsters, and an insane amount of stamina, he’s like lightning.

This office building is small, but there are so many floors, and they’ve already cleared the first two without finding you. But Jungkook has a suspicion the men he’s searching for are on the top floor, so he trusts his gut and he races to find you.

Jungkook is the first to open the door to a group full of men surprised to have a visitor. He stays in the stair well, he’s not crazy enough to run in there alone yet, since the others haven’t caught up to him. He still has to keep a level head, let them come to him, let him knock each one of those bastards out. He grabs another and throws him over his back and down the stairs where his brothers are about to arrive.

Maybe Jungkook is a little crazy at this point, he throws someone over the railing into the open space between stairwells and the man screams as he falls five flights down, body clanging onto metal as his bones break. Jungkook uses his arms to defend from knives and gets his jacket and skin sliced in the process, yet he keeps on swinging while blood drips down his fists. Yeah, Jungkook is a bit crazed, but he has good reason to be as he hears you scream again for help.

He runs inside once he has his brothers behind him. He runs towards the sound of your screaming, knocking away anyone who gets in his way. He feels his restraint slipping, he feels like he might enjoy killing whoever is hurting you. It’s already been too long, your voice sounds small and broken. He throws his full weight into the locked door, knocking into the wood with his shoulder until the lock busts.

“Don’t even think about it.” You have a knife to your neck, your body shielding the man who has you captive, just another way he’s found to use your body. “Let me go and I won’t kill her.”

“Let her go or I will kill you.” The fighting has stopped. It’s clear to both men who won as Namjoon and Seokjin arrive to help Jungkook. The man holds onto you a bit tighter, he realizes he might be the only one left and by the look in his eyes he’s planning on surviving until the very end. He shuffles your bodies closer to the door, closer to his escape.

It’s an achingly slow pace as he makes sure no one can attack him from behind. He looks at the bodies of his men on the ground, realizing just how dangerous this group of yours is, he should have never made a deal with that damn Minho, he should have let him fight his own battles, now he’s standing in a graveyard of his own men.

You pass by each member and you can’t make eye contact, you let your tears silently fall, let your body be pulled in hopes it will all be over soon. He finally makes it to the stairwell, relieved. “Give me your word you won’t follow me and I’ll let you have her.”

“Fine,” Namjoon speaks for the group.

He presses his knife into your neck. “That doesn’t sound too convincing.”

Suddenly, his grip lessens. He drops his knife and, finally, you can get away. You turn around and see his surprised wide eyes. You feel just as shocked as he looks when he makes a gurgling noise instead of speaking.

And suddenly Dev’s equally shocked face pops up from behind the man’s shoulder.

He had been too scared to enter the office room, but looks like he hadn’t been too scared to stab the man holding you in the back of the neck. “I did it. I killed him,” he says, equally excited and petrified as the man falls onto the ground.

You look at him in shock. “Yeah.”

---

“He’s bleeding!”

“Taehyung, no…”

“Shit, I’ve never been stabbed before, this hurts.” Taehyung winces.

“Oh god, how do we stop the bleeding,” Jimin asks, panic rising in hiss voice.

Namjoon answers, “There’s one way, we have to burn it with something hot. Find a small knife-” 

“I’m going to be stabbed twice?!”

“Wouldn’t it be better to, like, stitch it, with a needle or something?” Taehyung grimaces, the thought of being sewn together without any pain medicine is making him feel sick.

“What about the internal bleeding?”

“Oh god.”

“You’re going to be fine, your body just needs to heal...someone start a fire!”

“OH GOD.”

“Jungkook, I’m fine, go help them,” you tell him. Jungkook doesn’t believe you are fine at all. Your eye is swollen, your shirt is missing buttons, your neck is bruised and who knows what else he can’t see is bruised. 

“You’re bleeding too?!”

“Oh,” Hoseok winces, clutching his side. “Yeah, it’s not as bad as Taehyung.” Except it does look as bad as Taehyung’s wound. Hoseok's whole left side is covered in blood. You start to cry again, feeling responsible. 

Jin is the one who cauterizes the wounds. Namjoon and Jungkook holds the members down. Hoseoks passes out but Taehyung somehow stays conscious, screaming bloody murder the entire time. It’s going to be another memory that will have you up at night, crying and shaking when you remember his shrieking. This safe house you’re in has a fair amount of supplies and an excessive amount of alcohol. They use it to sanitize the wounds as best they can. 

“You helped us escape. I’m not going to kill you,” Namjoon tells Minho, who sits on the floor, hands duct taped.

“I’m going to kill him!” Jungkook yells.

“No, you won’t,” Namjoon says, calming the youngest down. He turns to Minho. “What do you know about this place? Is there a pharmacy around.” He stays defiantly silent. “Minho!” The leader looks ready to kill, even after his promise not to.

“They won’t be anything left.”

“We have to try, let’s go. Get up!” He yanks the former bodyguard up.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Jungkook says to you. “I’ll look for something for you too,” he says, so softly. You just nod, worried if you were to open your mouth you might start wailing.

Jin is left with Jimin and Yoongi to take care of the two wounded members and you. “I’m so sorry,” you cry, holding onto Taehyung’s hand. 

“This isn’t your fault, don’t blame yourself. You’ve saved me more times than I can remember, I’m sorry we didn’t find you sooner,” he winces.

Jimin holds Taehyung’s other hand. “You’re going to get better, don’t worry, and then you’ll have a cool scar.” Jin and Yoongi are tending to Hoseok who thankfully hasn’t woken up from the pain yet. Yoongi brushes the hair out of Hoseok’s face, cleaning up the blood he finds on his skin. He’s meticulous and careful about it. Jin asks you if you want help cleaning the blood off you too. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Let him help you,” Jimin says.

“We can do it later, I don’t want to be…touched right now.” You mumble. 

“Were you-”

“Don’t push her right now, Jin.” Jimin speaks up for you. 

Jimin holds out his free hand to you, letting you take it if you want. You do. He makes you feel grounded and safe. And you feel small and weak and tired at the same time. You lie down next to Taehyung, bringing your knees into your body, you hug yourself into his side, crying.

Jimin mirrors your actions, resting for now. As long as he holds both your hands, and he can keep an eye on both of you, he can allow himself to relax and recover just for the moment.

Seokjin rubs his face, exhausted. Yet his body still feels wound up and anxious, he can’t relax just yet. He works to clean the space of death. He drags the bodies left inside and heaves them over the railing, creating a pile of corpses at the bottom, hoping it will become a deterrent for any other hostile strangers and then works to make food for when you all wake up, doing what he can to help. He tries to remain positive, he tells himself it could have been so much worse. 

“There was no penicillin. Nothing, not even Tylenol.”

You wake up hearing Namjoon’s voice but keep your eyes closed as the men talk. “And Hoseok has a fever,” Yoongi says.

“I’ve searched this place from top to bottom, they have enough liquor to drown a regiment and no damn medicine,” Jin says.

You stand up on shaky legs. “ I know where we might find medicine.”

---

“Maybe they’re not there.”

“No, there’s a code for knocking, I don’t know it.”

“Hey, we know you’re in there. Please open the door. We need your help, please! We’ll give you anything.”

You hear the door click, and you see the weary faces of the group you left. You explain to them the situation, hoping they have some medicine to trade you or at least know where you might find some medicine. “I have something that could help.” The woman who isn’t Jinyoung holds up half a bottle of pills. “This is amoxicillin I found a while ago.”

“We’ll trade you anything for it.”

The woman thinks for a bit and finally decides. “Seokjin.”

“WHAT?!”

“Just for the night.”

“WHAT?!”

“Fine. yeah, I’ll do it.”

“Wait a fucking a minute, no!” Her boyfriend speaks up. “Honey, are you crazy?!” He turns to your group. “You have food, don’t you? Give us that instead.”

“And Seokjin!”

“Have you lost your mind?!”

“Honey, stay out of this?”

“You’re really going to cheat on me?”

“Oh please, don’t act like you have been soo faithful to me! Before our city was attacked you would come home past midnight almost every night!”

“I was with my coworkers!!”

“Yeah, with Eunji, right? That slut you worked with!!”

You turn to Namjoon, Yoongi and Seokjin while the couple continues to argue, saying “That’s not enough medicine for both of them…”

“It’s better than nothing.”

“There is a house four blocks from here. A pharmacist used to live there. There might the medicine you’re looking for there,” Jinyoung speaks up. “I c-can take you!” She says, her face turning red.

“Okay, Namjoon, you and Yoongi go with her, and I’ll stay here with y/n and…get the other medicine.”

“Seokjin, y-you don’t have to do this,” you say incredulously. Namjoon and Yoongi agree.

“Stop. Yes I do! If this can save them, I will.” Seokjin glares at the three of you, already making up his mind.

Seokjin looks so serious. He looks angry, yet determined. He is putting on a brave face, you want to cry for him. “Jin…” 

“It’s okay, y/n.” He turns to the group. “Yeah, okay, deal. Food and me.” 

“I’ll help you look for the medicine too,” Jinyoung’s boyfriend says, looking over at the idols wearily.

“Hey young lady, I have something for your eye.” The old man says. You sit waiting, once more, in this store, waiting for Namjoon and Yoongi to return, for Jin and that horrible women to be done with whatever she is doing to him upstairs, waiting and hoping Taehyung and Hoseok are okay.

“It’s alright.” You sit with your knees pulled in, much less in the mood to talk than before, sick to your stomach, body aching. The four of you were so beaten and bruised, it’s taken you a couple days to find this place again, what if you get back and it’s already too late?

“I don’t expect anything in return for it, it’s in good faith, I promise you.”

You start to cry, your head buried in your knees.

He sighs, puts his hands on his knees to stand up and moves towards you hesitantly. “Look up for me.” He puts on some antiseptic gel from a tube that looks almost empty, carefully applying the gel to the cuts and bruises around your eye.

“Thank you,” you mumble.

“I’m happy to help.”

Waiting for Seokjin to come downstairs feels like an eternity. The boyfriend sits in the corner away from you, completely dejected. You wish you had some kind words to give him, but you have nothing nice left to say, after everything you’ve went through.

Jin enters first, walking silently over to you and sitting down. The distance between you feels so far away. He’s clutching the bottle of pills so tightly the tips of his fingers are red.

You glare at the women when she finally comes downstairs. What the hell is wrong with her? How could she take advantage of the situation like that? How could she use Seokjin like that, what kind of fan is she?!

You move your body slightly so from where she’s sitting, now next to her miserable boyfriend, she can’t see Seokjin. You want to protect him from her. Just thinking about what she could have done to him makes you want to rip out her eyes, makes you think about what was done to you. She deserves the same fate as that man. 

You haven’t looked at Jin. You know if you do, and see his expression, see your own self in his eyes, you might really try to kill her. 

Namjoon and Yoongi come back looking accomplished and put you in hopeful spirits. You say goodbye one last time to the group. You hug Jinyoung, thanking her. Yoongi and Namjoon hug her goodbye too and she turns an even brighter shade of red, smiling happily and clutching a book to her chest, a medicinal plant book she found in the pharmacist's house that she shyly asked the rappers to sign when they were waking back to the store. They happily obliged, grateful because they found just what they were looking for thanks to her.

-

“Have you ever given someone a shot before?” you ask wearily.

“There’s a first time for everything,” Jin mumbles. The penicillin bottle has a few doses, so they decide to split it evenly amongst both members. The pills are being saved if they need more medicine.

Jungkook pulls you aside. “They found Tylenol for you and I found this if you need it.” He hands you a few Tylenol and another box of pills. You’ve never seen those Korean characters together. You ask him, “what is it?”

“It’s a pill to take if you, um, if you need it, if so, so they won’t be any pregnancies if you take it,” he stutters.

You nod, taking the Tylenol and pocketing the pills and glancing over to Jin who seems to be diligently looking over Taehyung and Hoseok, a hard frown etched across his face.

“I’m ready for help, if you want to help me. I can ask Namjoon, if you’re not feeling up to it anymore,” you ask Jin. Jin stands up, happy to do something to take his mind off things.

You didn’t want to go into any of the rooms on the top floor, so you and Seokjin walk quietly one flight down.

This office space looks like it used to be full of computers, there’s electrical pieces littered around the floor like someone came and used each one for target practice. You both sit in two beaten up office chairs. “I’ve never bathed myself with alcohol before,” you mutter, bemused. Pulling off your jacket. You notice there’s already bruises forming on your arms. 

Seokjin works to clean off the dried blood from your neck where the knife was pressed. “I’m sorry,” Seokjin says, looking over the bruises.

“I’m sorry too,” you say, trying to catch his eyes, but he won’t look up. “I wish I could take a shower, wash everything away.”

“Yeah,” Seokjin agrees. His eyes start to water, worrying you.

“Do you want a hug?” You ask. He nods. The plastic pieces crunch under your shoes as you move closer, hugging him gently, letting him decide if he wants more. He wraps his arms around you, hugging you tightly and you bite your tongue to keep yourself from yelping when he touches a bruise on your back. He pulls you into his lap. You feel safe and held together in his embrace. And Seokjin feels the chaos inside him finally settling. 

You were both taken advantage of differently, but in that moment it didn’t matter, you both felt the same kind of anger and injustice, for yourselves, and for one another. And in that moment you both just wanted to be held by someone you loved, hoping to erase the touches left by those before. 

You watch Jin break down the door to the break room inside this office. It only takes him three hits with his shoulder. You rush forward, your knife raised, worried you’ll find a monster inside. No monsters, only-“No way.”

“That’s a lot of ramen.”

You and Jin look at each other smiling. There’s enough snacks for days! This discovery might not equal all the pain you’ve both endured, but it was a nice shift, it only takes the slightest push to turn things around. Jin is smiling again now and that is worth celebrating. You make a silent promise to yourself that you’ll bring some to Jinyoung and the old man before leaving Hongcheon. Goodness still needs to be rewarded. Happiness still needs to be celebrated.

---

Looks like Taehyung and Hoseok are in the bottom of the poll. I decided readers will have more input into the story this way. Yoongi seems like a fan favorite (for now) so I hope you enjoyed his relationship progression with y/n, and poor Taehyung and Hoseok, well, I’ll let readers decide, what might happen next chapter? Go vote!

[taixju]

A NOTE:

hi everyone! this is my first ever collaboration (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵) with christmas right around the corner (i know halloween just finished, but i’m that person who gets super duper excited for christmas!) i’ve been wanting to put together a collab to help us get into the smutty holiday spirit! 😈 (ahhh, please don’t let this flop lol)

PROMPT: “have you been naughty…or nice?” we all know it’s not the latter…what have you done to get onto the naughty list?

STATUS: ACCEPTING

DUE DATE: DEC 31, 2021

NOTE: if you miss the deadline, need to drop out, or need extra time, don’t panic! feel free to lmk via private messages. this is purely meant to be a fun collab for content creators! and i totally understand that all of us have responsibilities outside of tumblr and life happens! <3

REQUIREMENTS:

participants must be 18 years or older [age in bio]

minors are NOT welcomed

dark content & NSFW content is welcomed! kinks of all shapes n’ sizes are welcomed as long as they are tagged accordingly and the “read more” tool is utilized. writers and artists are encouraged to participate!

word count: 500+

tag or private message me the link to your final post so that i may add it to the masterlist :)

fandoms: tokyo revengers, aot, jjk, bnha, and haikyuu

WANNA JOIN? send in an ask with the fandom & character of your choice! it’ll be first come first serve, with the maximum of 3 slots per character! participating content creators are guaranteed a reblog of their final piece :)

[TOKYO REVENGERS]

@keizos | manjiro sano |

title. 𐐪 wasteland, baby! 𐑂

synopsis. You and Mikey finally indulge in a fantasy that’s plagued you both for years.

@kireirengoku | baji keisuke

@semisgroupie | shinichiro sano

title. 𐐪 discipline 𐑂

synopsis. You have been such a naughty girl all year round. It’s about time someone disciplined you and Shinichiro would gladly take that role

@sohya | kazutora

title. 𐐪 lessons learned 𐑂

synopsis. Enemies to lovers with your pervy roommate.

@fuyusangel | matsuno chifuyu

@jthebeauty | taiju shiba

@chickentendieboi | kokonoi hajime

@imaginationteashop | kisaki tetta

@marism | wakasa |

title. 𐐪 with my headphones on 𐑂

synopsis. It’s inevitable. Innocent phone calls quickly turn into nasty phone sex.

@thetempleofnyx | ran haitani |

title. 𐐪 more than milk & cookies 𐑂

synopsis. Ran thinks his favorite little elf is sweeter than sweet.

[ATTACK ON TITAN]

@lovelysho | eren yaeger

@letmebeyourgalathee | jean kirstein

[JUJUTSU KAISEN]

@lovelyxloli | toji fushiguro

@arean | toji fushiguro

@s-ugei | suguru getou

@luseifer | nanami kento

@ambrodias | satoru gojo

[BNHA]

@izukuskani | katsuki bakugou

@redspade227 | keigo takami |

title. 𐐪 hawks 𐑂

synopsis. A special Christmas Eve with Hawks.

@akirahira | izuku midoriya

@mal-adaptive-daydreamer | tamaki amajiki

title. 𐐪 make you mommy 𐑂

synopsis. Your boyfriend can’t stop thinking about adding a lil addition to your family this Christmas.

[HAIKYUU]

@hintson | satori tendou

@toorusluvr | hajime iwaizumi |

title. 𐐪 personal 𐑂

synopsis. Spending Christmas break with your hot boss? What could go wrong?

@rosesandtoshi​ | hajime iwaizumi

@haikyutiehoe | kotaro bokuto

@fvckme-sir | kotaro bokuto

@martellprincess-writes | meian shuugo |

title. 𐐪 haikyuu: bad boyfriends 𐑂

synopsis. A cozy cabin stay for the holidays in your hometown with your fiancé. What could possibly go wrong?

@haikyutiehoe | msby

[csainzsgirly]

Pierre prompt

Exs meet at a party with different people but end up together in bed

Because he could never resist you in that one dress 😈

It’s a Monaco afterparty, and Pierre groans at the sight of you. You pose for a picture with some friends, and you’re wearing that one cobalt blue dress that always reminded him of the many times he fucked you in Jimmyz because you couldn’t wait to get home, and then he fucked you again at home. You seemed to avoid each other throughout the night, but eventually bumping into each other was inevitable. “Hey, how are you?” It’s your lovely voice filling his ears, reminding him that you never wanted to break up but he did. Your sweet, innocent eyes look up at him, your fingers loosely curled around a cocktail glass.

“I’m quite alright, yourself?” Pierre asked, leaning down to be audible over the music. “Good, thanks,” you replied. “Are you here with friends?” He asked, not hiding the curiosity. “My boyfriend, actually,” you replied, which wasn’t true, but you grinned at the look that glided over his face. “Does your boyfriend know how many times I fucked you in this dress?” Pierre growls, a hand around your waist. You shiver at his touch, biting at your lower lip. “He makes me cum at least,” you challenge, which was the final straw.

And the reason you’re underneath him, a hand around your neck while the other keeps your thighs spread open for him, and he’s fucking you harder into the mattress of the bed with each thrust. “He makes me cum at least,” Pierre scoffed. “Baby, you came three times for me just yet. Does he make you cum like I do?” He spat, and you love it, you love the way he rails you into oblivion, and you loved knowing he still cares and gets so upset about your non-existent boyfriend. Pierre makes you cum like no one can, and he fills you up, panting and heavy breaths afterward, then silence filling the room.

“Pierre?” You ask, your fingers moving through his hair. “Mhm?” He hums. “I don’t have a boyfriend,” you start laughing, and soon he laughs with you. “You just fuck me better when you’re jealous,” you say, and Pierre sits up. “Get on all fours for me,” he commands, his palm hitting your ass when you turn around. “Now shut up and let me fuck you again.”

[hazbinbossbrainrot]

Those who sling together swing together 🤣

[thehopelessauthor]

Y’all we ain’t gonna talk about Blitz’s new kink for Stolas’s human form? 😈

OH PLEASE-

[tojikai]

Okay, but I find it so funny reading everyone’s reaction to this chapter🤣. Before, while Rie’s reception was mixed at best, quite a few of us still wanted to give her a chance because she might not actually be that bad of a person? And then you came in with this chapter be like “Sike bitch!”😭 and all of us changed our tune so fast because we can all agree that what Rie did is incredibly shitty, no matter what the reason is. Queen of Angst and Drama, indeed 😉

I get it 😔. I get why you did that because we have been waiting for a chance to jump on both Gojo’s and Rie’s ass 😈, but only the former was being emphasized, then you decided to give us a reason why the latter should suffer too 🤣.

I’m also in love with the way to write Rie to be this “Love to Hate” type of character but still manage to humanize her so much. Yes, what she did is cruel and horrible but I can see why she did it. I’m pretty sure Rie is not as dumb as she’s written because she definitely knows that Gojo lied to her. There’s no reason why she would show up there, not without Gojo anyway. Imagine that your boyfriend lied to you just to visit his ex at the hospital and then found them having a very affectionate gesture with each other. No normal person can think rationally after seeing that. So her acting out of line is actually very understandable after you stop being pissed at her.

My opinion towards Rie, in general, has worsened, but I still manage to put myself in her shoes and sympathize with her. In most of the fic I read that have the “other woman” type of character, a lot of them are written like hyenas or beasts that are always filled with bad intentions and looking for an opportunity to strike at the reader-inserts. They feel like petty and cartoonishly evil villains and I get bored and frustrated real quick with that. Not with Rie though. That’s the testament to how amazing, wonderful, dramatic yet so down-to-earth your writing is.

Also, while I’m looking forward to seeing the inevitable fight between Gojo and Rie breaking out 😏, I’m so worried for our girl Y/N here😭🙏 . Please don’t put her in a coma again. She needs to use this chance to rethink her trust in Gojo, and finally, let all of her emotions out instead of bottling them up again. She needs to see how unfair Gojo was to her and fight for herself for once. Gojo too. The truth is revealed and he will surely have to face the true consequences of his choice and actions: losing Y/N for real this time. And that will definitely be the most painful thing he might have ever experienced. If therapy can’t fix his commitment issue, this will 😈 😈hehehehehehhe.

HAHAHSHAHHAHS THE "Sike bitch!" 😭 now that i think about it, part III really screams that LMAO and yeahh that's a good take on Rie's character :> she has her own reasons why she suddenly said that too despite seeing yn's condition !! as for yn, she definitely needs to stop keeping everything to herself, especially with her tendencies. it's dangerous :'((

anyways THANK YOU SO MUCHHH, I really appreciate this !! hope your day/night is going great~ <33

[hotluncheddie]

i have been lurking in the shadows…biding my time (stressful semester just regular things for a bad bitch) but FINALLY i was able to write this devious little thought down 😈

eddie who hates cooking for himself, so he initiates restaurant fridays. while steve works on fridays, eddie rolls a d20 to pick a local place to eat and get steve takeout from. they range from higher end eateries to hole in the wall bars, and eddie definitely has favorites. he liked the mexican place that serves mole and loved the fried pickle burgers at the diner a town over. it was a nice way to treat himself after years of struggle.

after vecna, eddie’s metabolism already had slowed down significantly because of the treatment. he had definitely put on a few pounds (more like thirty but who’s counting), but it hadn’t been a cause for concern until the fateful day that he went to urgent care after throwing out his back moving band equipment. the doctor at the urgent care had been dismissive and offered him a pamphlet on the importance of “healthy” living. although he hadn’t been disillusioned to the changes in his body, eddie hadn’t thought they were that major. steve should’ve known something was up when eddie stopped initiating sex, and was barely letting steve touch him. however, steve definitely noticed when restaurant fridays stopped. he himself missed the tasty food his boyfriend would bring him, but he could tell eddie was yearning for something more. it wasn’t difficult to look at their shared calendar or to rifle through eddie’s bedside drawer to find the health pamphlet.

lightbulbs flicker on at inconvenient times, and steve orchestrated a plan to convince eddie of his beauty. that friday when eddie came home, dejected over the inevitable canned soup he was going to have, he found their kitchen table set and lit up with candles. steve was at the head opposite to eddie’s chair, hair teased just the way he liked and the top button of his shirt undone. when the younger man saw him, he got up from sitting to take eddie’s coat off for him and untie his shoes. this wasn’t unusual, steve had a tendency to want to serve eddie every once in a while. what was unusual was the variety of smells wafting from the kitchen.

after seating eddie and pressing kisses to his hairline, he revealed that he noticed how off eddie had been. eddie opened his mouth to protest but instead of humoring him, steve held up a hand and walked into the kitchen. when he came back, he was carrying a tray with some of eddie’s favorite take out items, a feast just for his beautiful boy. as eddie murmured a flushed appreciation and began to eat, steve rubbed his back and ran his hands along eddie’s soft body. biting eddie’s neck and whispering praises while he ate, a hand snuck around to palm eddie’s dick. moaning into the food, eddie cried out apologies which steve refused. he needed eddie to know how much he loved him, so steve swung his body around and pressed his own hard cock and squishy belly into eddie’s calf. he begged eddie to notice just how much he’d changed steve, turning him into a whimpering mess. humping eddie’s leg, he pushed eddie’s shirt up and bit dark marks over the scars and stretch marks there before tugging eddie’s zipper down.

it turns out when you haven’t orgasmed in almost two weeks and your hot boyfriend was practically sobbing on the floor as he sucked you off, you blow your load pretty quickly. steve had barely bobbed down twice before eddie was cumming, hot and heavy as he pressed steve’s head further onto his dick. feeling steve’s hot tears and soft hair flush against his belly and the wet patch between the fabric of their jeans could’ve made him cum all over again, but the two knew that after enjoying the post orgasm bliss they would have to talk.

so they talked, and eddie made it clear that his stress came from the fear of overindulgence. he didn’t want to be greedy or ungrateful for his blessings, and steve explained that all of the proof of his gratefulness was seen not only on eddie’s body, but his own. they were finally in a stage where they could stop choosing fear, and if they had to size up their jeans after enjoying a few too many glasses of wine and bowls of pasta, that was a welcome change. the health pamplet was thrown away, along with the wrappers from all of the takeout. all of the food was gone, and the boys had a lot to catch up after two weeks of abstinence.

AAAAAA i don’t usually write about insecurity since i don’t think there’s anything wrong with fat bodies (despite what the medical industry says), but i hope this meets your liking and that the elements of insecurity aren’t out of turn!! -🦂

my lovely wonderful 🦂 anon!!!! i hope u had a good semester in the end!!!! i love thissssss!!!!

i get what you mean, i don’t love writing insecurities either especially when i want their bigger bodies to just be an element of the story! and bc it’s hot! sexy and fun to describe their bodies!!

but some of the elements you added here is giving me insecure eddie but maybe it’s also about providing for steve, maybe it’s providing for steve as a dom. i think those could be really interesting things to look at!

like once they’ve been together for a while, they start exploring different aspects of their kink. steve realising that he really likes serving eddie, likes being guided and given rules for the bedroom. and eddie really likes it too, like the comfort of it, how steve reacts to him, how he looks, the power to direct it and change things as he pleases.

then steve has a string of bad days, work getting to him. and it starts to be a habit, on friday nights, the moment steve gets home, he can turn his brain off. eddie’s in charge, wether they have sex or not, even if it’s just cuddling in the couch and getting an early night. eddie’s in charge. he chooses steve’s food, tells him to shower, picks out his pyjamas. gets steve to help if there’s any chores that need doing, so it goes faster, and he can get his baby in his arms quicker. 

and then that stretches, happens on other nights now too, sometimes they play for a whole weekend. wrapped up in eachother and testing the waters, the limits of what they like and don’t like.

and all along that, after healing and moving in with steve. over the past few years of them figuring out their careers and routines. eddie still having some meds to take, stretches to follow. his weight creeps up. he lets himself indulge, try new foods, let his sweet tooth run the show a little more. ups his protein and learns to cook veg in a way he likes, tried sauces and gravy’s and stews.

he gets a belly, fills out his jeans, finally has an ass. and it feel okay, he doesn’t think about it too much, more focused on steve and the life he’s building and the new food he wants to try. making his way through what the city has to offer, taking tips from robin for the best hole in the wall places. she found his fav italian place only because some of the menu was in italian and she could actually read it.

so fridays become a thing, he picks the food for him and steve, orders a lot. gets steve between his knees while they wait for it, petting his head or massaging his shoulders. keeping his mouth full of he’s been good or turning his cheeks red if he’s been bad. and then eddie’s eats, enjoys the new flavours, goes until he’s full. sometimes stuffed, sometimes so full his breathings becomes little huffs and sips of air. and he enjoys every moment.

then he throws his back out, idiot. the doctor wasn’t too much of a dick, although he’s still not sure how the conversation transitioned into him getting on the scale and being given the pamphlet. but it did, and eddie went home with and overall ok and painkillers and some strengthening exercises. and a bit of a fog around him.

maybe he wasn’t living the way he should. maybe the soft bubble of happiness was actually all delusion. he couldn’t provide for steve, or be in control the way steve allowed. not when he’d let himself go so much, hurt himself like an idiot. he couldn’t be steve’s dom, not like this.

and eddie has spiralled before, dipped into the pool or darkness that lurks away in his lungs. rearing its ugly head every once in a while. but he’d been a lot better for the past few years, better once he was with wayne and better still out of highschool and with steve. but it always came back, always there to remind eddie what a failure he was - is. and this was no different.

steve noticed, of course. eddie changing his diet, pulling away, their sex switching to nearly nothing within a few days. and steve worried it was him, maybe he asked too much, let go too readily, scaring eddie.

but eddie still made him kneel that friday, picked out his t-shirt and shorts, told him to sit still when he squirmed. but they didn’t have take out that night. eddie made steve a pizza and he had a bowl of soup. it wasn’t so different, he guessed. but it wasn’t their friday. wasn’t that lovely time of the week where steve could float away and enjoy watching eddie, look up at him all round and flushed and beautiful. when he’d feed steve a bite from his plate to taste and kiss him after, sharing the flavours and holding his chin where he pleased.

and it went on like that, eddie still going through the motions, he would get steve off sometimes but wouldn’t let steve touch, wouldn’t say yes if steve rang asking if he wanted anything from the bakery, would indulge when steve got given chocolates as a gift at work. wouldn’t let steve use him mouth or hands on him, wouldn’t even let steve bury his face in eddie’s belly like he so loved. he’s just hold him firm and tell him no and wrap him up in his lap instead, wrists held in one of eddie’s. it was enough but, it wasn’t the same.

and then steve found the pamphlet, and it all started to make sense. he’d tried to talk to eddie but he wouldn’t explain. just said he was tired lately, feeling a little down, but without a solid reason when nothing in their lives had changed steve had been so confused.

but this had. eddie view of himself had. it must have. the timeline added up.

so the next friday, steve made it special. steve needed to get his eddie back. steve ordered takeout and got on his knees…

-

and as u know they stuff eddie silly and steve gets off on his leg hehe :3c

[lorirwritesfanfic]

What’s Left Unsaid

Author's note: I'm soooo in the mood for drama lately 😈 [Leading characters are owned by Pixelberry Studios and original characters are creations of the author] 

Book: Desire & Decorum (modern day AU) Characters: MC (Daphne), Ernest Sinclaire, Briar Daly, Harry Foredale, Dominique Foredale, F!OC (Alisha) Pairings: Ernest Sinclaire x MC (Daphne), Prince Hamid x MC (Daphne) Rating: T Word count: 3507 Summary: Hours before travelling to spend a week with Hamid, Daphne receives an odd invitation from Ernest. Yet, neither of them is ready to handle the inevitable conversation. Based on the music prompt: How Do We Make It?

"All set?" Briar asked before she took a malteser to her mouth.

"Yep. Everything is packed," the lady answered, closing her toiletry bag and putting it over her suitcase.

Leaning back on the plush couch, Briar ate more of the round biscuits coated with chocolate and frowned at her friend's luggage. "I understand you want to spend as much time as you can with Hamid. Believe me, I totally get it and support it. But why do you have to leave so soon?"

"You make it sound like we won't be living together for the most part of the next three and a half years."

"But you're leaving me again during this sensitive period I'm going through," Briar whined.

"It's just a week. You can survive without me for the time being."

"What if I need help? I can't call you anytime I want. I don't want to cockblock you and Hamid now that I know you’ll be on a dry spell until the end of March."

“It’ll be a little longer than that. Ramadan starts a few days before he returns to Cornell and he’ll have to abstain from anything that incites impure thoughts, but that’s beside the point. Just call Annabelle."

"Really? Ooof…” Briar made a face.

“Briar!” The lady glared at her friend.

“Sorry…” Briar smiled sheepishly. “But back to my problem, I don’t know. Annabelle's idea of tough love may be a little too tough for me." Briar's nose wrinkled in annoyance.

"Maybe it's just what you need." Daphne gave her friends a knowing look, who replied with a scowl. "You could also become friends with Alisha. She's really sweet."

"We barely know each other. I can't exactly call her in the middle of the night and ask her to help me not to send dirty texts to Ed."

"Well, I don't think you should call his step sister to talk about that, but it never stopped you before," Daphne joked.

"Hey!" Briar grabbed a pillow and threw it at the lady, making her laugh.

The two of them continued to tease each other when the viscountess's mobile got a notification.

Briar smiled slyly as her friend reached for the cellphone. "Aw, you smitten kitten…"

"Shut up…" Daphne scoffed as she tapped the screen when she read the message.

"Gee, did somebody die?"

Daphne eyed her friend confused. "Huh?"

"Your face doesn't scream boyfriend-girlfriend cute texts. It looks more like you just got 'we need to talk' text."

"Well, that's exactly what it is. Except it was Ernest." Daphne explained, placing the mobile in the pocket of her trousers.

"Oh…” Briar frowned. “Is his mother okay?"

"I don't know. He just said he wants to meet me tonight to talk."

"Sounds serious."

"It feels like it is..."

"Hey, maybe you two could meet at mum's? It's on the way to the train station and you can have tea and sweets to make the conversation less intense."

Daphne sat on her bed and considered the suggestion. "That's not a bad idea. I'll text him."

"Great. And when you're there, can you do me a favour?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"Speak louder. I want to hear the details when mum makes me wash the dishes in the kitchen." Briar's lips curled up.

Daphne narrowed her eyes playfully. But before she could retort, a door knock called their attention.

"Come in," Daphne said. A combination of surprise and nervousness took over her when the door opened. "Lady grandmother!"

"Hello, Daphne," Dominique said as she strolled in. "Briar, can you give me a  moment with my granddaughter?"

"Certainly, ma'am," Briar bowed politely and left the room.

The dowager countess took a seat on the plush chair near the bed and looked at her granddaughter. "I heard you're travelling to Turkiye again."

"Yes. It's my last opportunity to spend time with Hamid before I go back to Cornell."

"Isn't he returning next month?"

"He can't travel by plane for the next three months without the risk of suffering an embolism."

"I see." Dominique nodded. "Are you returning to America from there?"

"No. I'll come back for three days to pack everything and take Drake with me."

"Good. I was hoping you could join me for tea in London with the Queen."

The young lady pressed her lips together and heaved a sigh. “Lady grandmother, please…”

"It's a mere informal gathering with an old friend of your grandmother, Daphne.”

"Who happens to be the Queen of England..."

The flat yet mocking tone in the young lady’s voice didn’t go unnoticed. Yet, the dowager countess chose to not reprimand her granddaughter. "I still believe you made a mistake, but I assure you it's not an audience. She is a wise old friend you could learn a lot from. Spending time with her is a privilege only a few people in the Commonwealth have."

Daphne pondered about it carefully. There wasn't a single time in her life she has ever joined her grandmother on something that didn't have a purpose. However, of all the times they have argued, this was the first one Lady Dominique has ever made the first step. Even if it wasn't an explicit apology, it felt like something similar to it.

"When will it happen?"

"January 10th."

"Okay. I'll see what I can find to dress for the occasion."

"I already made an appointment for you at the boutiques you like."

"Of course you did…"

The two shared rare friendly smiles.

"What time are you leaving?"

"Five thirty. I'm meeting Ernest at six."

"Oh…" Worry clouded Dominique's features. "Is Lydia alright?"

"I've been asking myself the same question."

"I'll make sure to pay her a visit later. But whenever you have time, join me at the lounge. I'd like to see the drawings you've been working on lately. Miss Parsons can join us as well," Dominique said as she stood up.

"I'll text Ann."

"Excellent. I'll see you downstairs."

"Yes, ma'am."

The sound of luggage wheels running on the wooden tiles followed Daphne down the stairs as she descended carrying her suitcase.

"Do you need anything else, ma'am?" Her maid asked.

"No, thank you. You've done enough…" The lady looked around the room, brows knitted together in a frown. "Hey, Carmindy. Do you know if Drake returned from his daily walk?"

"Yep, he has." Harry sauntered over with Lord Vincent, who held the dog's leash. "I hope you've been waiting for us. It'd be very rude of you not to say goodbye to us, sis," he teased.

"I wasn't going to do that. I already talked to Ed and grandmother," she said, swatting her brother’s arm. She then turned to her father and the dog. "Thank you for taking a walk with him. Bye, dad."

"Of course, dear. Have a safe trip." The lord cupped one side of her face and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you." Daphne beamed and crouched down to pet her dog. "Bye, sweetie! Be a good boy to everyone."

The dog replied by licking her hand.

"Are you ready to go?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Daphne replied. After waving to her father, her dog, and the staff nearby, she headed to the door carrying her luggage.

Inside the car, the lady gazed out the window as droplets of rain softly blurred the view. Despite the music playing in the background being one of her brother's favourites, he wasn't singing along or humming the melody as usual. Harry was quiet, serious, eyes focused on the road and the traffic as he drove towards the city.

"Thank you again for taking me. You didn't have to," she said.

"Don't worry about it. It's our driver's week off. Why would I let you waste money taking a taxi when you can buy me cheesecake?" He looked at her from a corner of an eye and smirked.

"Good point." Daphne nodded with a smile, glad to see her younger brother in his laid back demeanour again.

"So… When am I going to meet your new boyfriend?"

"I don't know. I haven't thought about it."

"Ouch…" Harry clutched a hand in his chest, pretending to be wounded.

"Don't be silly…" She scoffed. "I meant to say I haven't talked about it with him because we're taking things slow. It's not like we have everything figured out."

"Excuse me?" He gave his sister a look before turning his attention to the road once again. "You left home in August with all your four years of uni planned. And before that, you had most part of your life sorted out."

"Well, after everything I went through this year, I realised planning too much isn't going to do me any good. I'll just take my time and see how it goes."

"Huh…" Harry glanced at her with a curious look. "When dad and Ed returned from Ithaca after your birthday, they said you changed. But I didn't know what to think."

"Were you worried?"

"Honestly? Who wasn't? The only reason the family council agreed with you moving back to America was knowing that Briar and Annabelle would be with you."

"What?!" Her brows rose. "When did that happen?"

"Right after you said you'd choose Cornell over Sorbonne and Cambridge. Anyway, now I understand why they said you're changing. You're healing. And you're slowly finding your way to be your best self. That's brilliant, sis."

"Thank you." Her eyebrows rose as amusement played on her lips. "Look at you so perceptive and wise."

"It's a blessing and a curse."

The two of them chuckled.

But as their laughter died down, Daphne cast her glance to the window again. "I just wish I didn't have scars..."

"All great fighters have scars, Daph. I know whatever you have to face in the future, you'll keep your head high and do your best."

"Are you trying to psych me up to the meeting I have with Ernest, Harry?"

"No…"

She arched an eyebrow.

"Maybe…"

The lady shook her head with a smile.

"I know you're dating Hamid and I can see you care about him, but the whole situation with Ernest broke you. I don’t want to see you going through anything like that again."

"It's sweet of you to worry about me because I've been talking to him again, but I'll be fine. This is no big deal. He probably needs advice with something related to Mrs. Sinclaire's treatment."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. If he says anything I can't handle, don’t worry. I'll strangle him myself," she joked, making her brother laugh just a few blocks away from the bakery.

Once Daphne greeted the staff of Mrs Daly's bakery, she took a seat on one of the stools by the counter, where her childhood friend and the newest cook of the shop stood by.

"So you're meeting your ex-fiancé a few hours before you take a train to spend a week with your new boyfriend," Alisha concluded, but it was clear she was still trying to absorb the information.

"Yes," Daphne affirmed.

"And your new boyfriend is okay with it?"

"So weird, right?" Briar mumbled.

Daphne narrowed her eyes at her friend then turned to the cook. "Hamid knows I wouldn't do this if I didn't think it's important to support Ernest right now."

"You're lucky. Not all men are so understanding. By the way, that's one of the few contexts I'll ever start a sentence with 'not all men'," Alisha stated.

The three of them giggled.

"But seriously, are you okay with it?" The cook asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. But thank you for asking."

"We can bring you an extra dessert and a tea for you afterwards if you need comfort. On the house." Briar grabbed her friend's hand.

"I'm fine." Daphne insisted. "This is not the first time I’ll talk to him after we broke up."

Just then, the bell chimed as the front door opened. Placing his coat on the rack nearby, Ernest Sinclaire walked into the shop, nodded politely to the staff, chose a table, and waited for Daphne to follow.

"Call us if you need anything." Alisha gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Thank you." Daphne smiled.

"And if he needs a beating, I'm calling Ann," Briar warned.

Daphne pursed her lips at her friend. "I'm going to join Ernest at the table. Excuse me," she said standing up and walking towards the corner table, where her ex sat looking at the rain quietly drumming on the glass windows. "Good evening."

"Good evening," he replied calmly. "Did I make you wait for too long?"

"Not at all. I was just chatting with Briar and Alisha, the new cook here," Daphne explained as she sat down. "How are you and Mrs. Sinclaire?"

"We're fine. Thank you for asking."

Her eyebrows went up in surprise. "Really?"

A corner of his mouth lifted upwards discreetly. "Were you not expecting me to say that?"

"Um… No?" Her nose wrinkled. "I'm sorry. It's hard to figure out the tone of a sentence through texts. I didn't know what to expect."

"It's all right, Daphne. This is precisely why I don't like texting."

"You could add a few 'lols', 'jk' and emojis here and there…" She hinted.

"I'm not even going to entertain that idea."

As a giggle escaped Daphne's lips, Briar approached the table.

"Good evening! I'll be your waiter tonight. May I take your order?"

Daphne arched an eyebrow. "Oh, are you now?"

"Yes," Briar plastered a fake grin that purposely faded when she turned to Ernest.

"Miss Daly," he nodded politely and looked at the menu.

"Sinclaire," Briar hissed.

Noticing her friend's deadly stare, Daphne spoke up. "Anyway, I'm in the mood for mille-feuille, chamomile tea, and a box of macarons to go. How about you, Ernest?"

"I see the new cook added some new desserts to the menu. I'll have profiteroles and English tea."

"I'll be right back with your orders."

The two of them thanked Briar, who stepped away, still glaring at Ernest.

"I see she still hates me," he avowed.

"You are in a relationship with our secondary school nemesis."

He shifted in his seat and gazed at the woman before him. "Do you hate me as well?"

"I did." She confessed, staring back at him. "But that's water under the bridge now."

Despite the somewhat awkward start, the conversation flew easily after. Between bites of their desserts, the two kept everything friendly.

"Your French has certainly improved," Ernest praised.

"Thank you. It's nice to get feedback from a real person. I only get feedback from Duolingo, but I think the app is being nice to me on purpose."

"Doesn't Harry help you with that?"

"Sure… Because that's something siblings love to do: help each other."

He chuckled.

"So…" She placed her cup of tea down and looked at him. "You haven't told me why we're meeting here."

"All right." He cleared his throat. “First of all, I want to apologise for that awkward situation at the Christmas feast.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I didn’t say a thing. Couldn’t that be interpreted as if I agreed with what Felicity said?”

“It could have been. But if I know you well, you didn’t say anything because you didn’t even want to be there in the first place. Besides, engaging in any frivolous topics of conversations isn't your cup of tea.”

“You do know me well.” A ghost of a smile played on his lips. “But I want to apologise anyway.”

“Thank you.”

"The other subject I want to talk about is my mother. She made a decision about her treatment."

"Oh?"

"Her doctors said they have great chances to stabilize the tumor and remove it through surgery if she keeps receiving chemotherapy and radiation. She said yes." At last, a broad smile lit up his features.

"Oh my God, that's fantastic news, Ernest!" Daphne beamed.

"I think so too."

"And you're moving back to UK soon, right?"

"Yes, I'll be back next month."

"This is really great, Ernest. I'm happy for both of you."

"Thank you. I knew you would be."

Daphne then glanced at her wristwatch. "Well, this has been such a pleasant evening, but I have a train to catch."

"Of course, I'll get the check."

After a brief moment, Briar returned with their separate bills and two boxes with pastries. "The second one is baklava for Hamid." The young woman gave her friend a knowing look.

"He's going to eat most of my macarons, but whatever. Thanks." Daphne replied and gave her credit card.

Ernest remained in silence for a moment, watching the two friends talk. Once the bill was paid, they stood up, thanked everyone, and headed to the door, where they got their coats, and Daphne's received her luggage that Briar kept in the storage room.

From the back of the counter, Briar and Alisha waved at the viscountess and her former fiancé leaving.

"Well, for two people who had their break up headlining all gossip blogs and tabloids in UK, they seem very friendly," Alisha commented as she arranged a few pastries inside the bakery display.

"Yeah…" Briar narrowed her eyes, not knowing what to make of her friend's behaviour near her ex.

"It's easy to make things look perfect for everyone else when you're just sweeping dirt under the rug instead of actually cleaning the house." Mrs. Daly chimed into the conversation as she passed by the two young women. "That has always been their biggest problem."

As they stepped outside, he gazed at Daphne tapping her screen of her mobile. "If you need a ride, I can take you to the train station."

"No, thank you. I'm calling an Uber."

"It's not that far from here."

"But you'd be driving in the opposite direction. I don't have to go through all that trouble…"

"Daphne," he called, placing a hand on her arm. "It's a fifteen minutes detour I'll gladly make for you. Please."

The lady considered the offer carefully. She wasn't eager to be seen in public with Ernest, especially given how much the tabloids used to follow both of them throughout their relationship. Yet, the paparazzi have stopped following her and the driver she called was over seven kilometers away. Perhaps this wasn't such a bad idea.

"Fine…" She acquiesced and watched him promptly open the door of his car then put her luggage in the backseat.

The moment Daphne buckled the seat belt, a message pinged on her mobile:

"I heard your boyfriend suffered an accident. Is he all right?"

Daphne's cheeks flushed crimson as her former fiancé's voice pulled her back to reality. "Yes, he's getting better. Thank you for asking."

"Is that why you’re returning so soon?"

"Among other reasons..."

The lady looked ahead, unsure where this conversation was going, but hoping her destination wasn't so far.

"Is it serious?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your new relationship: do you see yourself with him in the future?" He insisted.

"It's too soon to say."

"You've been seen with him since late October."

"I started dating him officially three weeks ago."

"But you were here three weeks ago. Did it start as a long-distance relationship?"

"Yeah, you could say that."

"How is that working out for you two?"

"It's too soon to say."

He glanced at her quickly, but didn't say a word. Yet, his expression said more than he wanted her to see.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I didn't say anything," Ernest scoffed.

"Funny... You look like you have a lot to say about that," she replied, trying to suppress her annoyance.

He huffed. Somehow, this odd conversation felt awfully familiar. Ernest jumping to conclusions too quickly, Daphne annoyed with his judgemental demeanour. It was a clear sign that some things would most likely never change between them.

"Why would you care if my relationship is going to last?"

"Because I care about anything related to you!" He snapped as the car abruptly stopped right in front of the train station, pushing both of their bodies forward, only to be held back by the seat belt.

"Oh, sure! You did seem like you cared about me when you began your relationship with a girl that made me and my friends miserable in secondary school three weeks after we broke up."

"It wasn’t like that. I did care! I still do!"

"That was one hell of a way of showing it, Sinclaire!" She bellowed.

Honks startled them, breaking the tension between them. And as words sunk in, the only sentiment they shared at the moment was regret. Unbuckling her seat belt, Daphne reached for the door handle when he spoke up again.

"Did you ever love me?"

A moment of silence settled inside the car. Although she wished she could just leave, she knew this couldn’t be left unsaid. "I thought I did." Her eyes welled up as she mulled over her own words. "Now I don't know..."

Ernest inhaled sharply. Did he expect another answer? Or did he know it all along? "Perhaps it's for the best that we never said those words to each other."

Daphne swallowed hard and nodded. "Thank you for the ride." She uttered then opened the door, picked up the luggage from the backseat, and left without looking back.

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of fics where Harry or Louis are demons or angels. Demon fics are represented with a 😈 and angel fics are represented with a 👼🏻. Happy reading!

Note: This rec list was updated in June 2024.

1) Here In The Dark Is Where New Worlds Are Born | Explicit | 7,573 words | 😈

Harry is a demon and Louis is his eternal mate.

2) Two Different Versions Of The Universe | Explicit | 11,582 words | 👼🏻😈 

Harry is a demon, captured by hunters. but not just any hunters. Angels. Louis is his angel.

3) A Little Bad Luck | Explicit | 17,236 words | 😈

"What the fuck do you mean, they quit?" Louis asks.

This man—demon, whatever—looks over at Louis with a withering glance before tossing the apple he's eating. It misses the trash can by about a foot, falling to the floor of Louis' kitchen and definitely leaving a sticky residue that he's going to have to clean up later.

"You kept getting yourself into trouble and their afterlife experience became too stressful, so they quit. After the fifth guardian angel quit their post last week, there were no other volunteers, so that's where I stepped in. I was getting bored of welcoming souls into hell anyway...they're so goddamn whiney, I'm always like, bro, just shut the fuck up—"

"So you're my guardian demon," Louis says flatly, cutting the demon/man/thing off before he can get any further.

He smiles largely enough to show dimples, which seem like a completely inappropriate thing for a demon to have.

"Exactly," the demon confirms.

4) Sweet Revelation, Bitter Wine | Explicit | 20,786 words | 😈

“Yeah, well. It’s not my fault I can’t stand the sight of you. This is kind of all your fault," Louis reminds him, his blue eyes flashing.

“Is that right?” Harry provokes him, clicking his teeth annoyingly. “That’s a shame, since you’re the most distractingly pretty demon slayer I’ve ever met.”

They're silent for a beat. He feels Harry’s fingers brushing over his cheekbone tenderly, before he's grasping his chin and tilting his face up properly to look at him.

Harry’s face is close to his now, his handsome features rendering him weak and leaving Louis to blink slowly at him, appreciating the view of a tall, morally ambiguous demon whose full attention is on him.

“Are you going to kiss me?” Louis asks him, voice honeyed and tempting as the fight leaves his body and he goes limp in Harry's grip.

5) Death Wish | Explicit | 22,067 words | 😈

Based on Prompt 403: If having more chemistry with a villain than with your own boyfriend was a crime, then Louis would be in jail. Or the hero slowly falls in love with the morally grey character AU

6) My Sweetest Downfall | Mature | 42,048 words | 👼🏻

Louis is a retired guardian angel. After the death of his last charge, he became jaded. Humans die—what use is prolonging the inevitable?

He's more than happy to forget about humanity altogether until one day, when Louis is pulled from his desk job for a new assignment: protect One Direction's Harry Styles. It doesn't help that there's something about Harry that Louis can't resist, and it's making him question everything he's ever known. Humans are strictly off limits, and breaking that rule means risking everything, but Harry just might be worth it.

This is a story about forgiveness and discovery, featuring an angel who wants to be a little more human and a human who is so much more than he seems.

7) Just A Flicker In The Dark | Explicit | 57,204 words | 😈

Louis is a struggling witch desperate to prove himself after yet another magic disaster and finds a calling in the haunted house of client Niall Horan. Things get more complicated when he’s assigned a case partner: acclaimed medium and ex-boyfriend, Harry Styles.

8) Sweet Creature | Mature | 66,753 words | 👼🏻

It’s not that Harry expected high school to be easy. He heard all the stories from his sister and he knew that he was in for four years of hell. However, he didn’t exactly expect that hell to also be populated by Angels.

9) We’ll Cast Some Light (You’ll Be Alright) | Not Rated | 74,409 words | 😈

There’s a standard procedure for this. Scan, track, kill. But with a solar eclipse and a Greater Demon with unfinished business looming, the path to keeping England safe from harm becomes complicated and shadowed by mystery and secrets. For Harry and his team, times have never been harder, especially when a few old friends turned foes show up. Harry is left with just over forty days to overcome the hurdle of tension between them and reconcile their past, and figure out just what Louis is hiding from him before it’s too late.

10) The Devil's Angel | Explicit | 86,638 words

Note: This fic has been deleted, so this link leads to a PDF.

"You belong to nobody else but me, asphodel."

Ezekiel 28:13 - For Lucifer has been in Eden the garden of God; every precious stone was his covering, the sardius, topaz, and the diamond, the beryl, the onyx, and the jasper, the sapphire, the emerald, and the carbuncle, and gold: the workmanship of his tabrets and of his pipes was prepared in him in the day that he was created.

11) The Rose Of Whitechapel | Mature | 100,182 words | 😈

Jack the Ripper au - Detective Constable Harry Styles and his partner, DC Liam Payne, lead the case on the Whitechapel murders. Louis Tomlinson, the Rose of Whitechapel, is harbouring secrets of his own, along with a dark and sordid past. When their paths cross, truths are revealed, and perhaps hearts are mended...

A darkness is brewing, and it's finally come to collect on the promise it was made.

12) Run Like the Devil | Explicit | 138,095 words | 😈

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

Supernatural AU. Louis hunts demons; Harry's the strangest demon he's ever met, and he keeps fucking meeting him.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.