#ines kahnwald

[themenaceofalderaan]

spotify wrapped + dark adam!world characters

eva's world here

[hannahstanwald]

[powermove102]

Dark Schmerz-o-meter analysis

AKA the comprehensive tier list of pain and suffering (fun!)

Characters are all ranked on a scale of S-E and are all relative to one another (yes, you can be sad and still go in E tier). To reiterate, they are NOT ranked based on how much I like them, how good their character is written, or suchlike (although there may be some correlation), this list ONLY takes into account how hard their life was, how much suffering they have had to endure, etc. Points are indeed taken away if you are the one actively causing the sadness (how much depends on e.g. whose idea it was/ how much enthusiasm you did it with).

(also I'm only referring to Adam's-World versions of the characters, unless otherwise specified, because we just have way more information about them)

Feel free to disagree/ counter-argue, this is just my list and my analysis (all for fun).

(OK I'll stop stalling) So why don't we get started with the best of the worst:

E Tier - You don't know what pain is

Hannah Kahnwald

She starts having the affair whilst she is STILL MARRIED (she was unawares that Michael was literally penning his suicide note whilst she was having a smooch with Ulrich) - she also has the inability to love imo, she just has the ability to love attention

She’s not even that good a mother either, she kinda leaves Jonas alone and is only really sad because she no longer has a mans to give her all that attention (PLUS her fling left her too, and then she has the AUDACITY to ask (not ask - FORCE) Alexander to DESTROY HIM for choosing to focus on his MISSING SON instead of HER!!!!!!

And then when Jonas leaves she’s just more attention-deprived so she thought about offing herself but then thought well if I’m dead no-one can pay attention to meeeeeee so decided against it 

Then Jonas returns (33 years older but it is still her SON who displays AFFECTION towards her) and as soon as she finds out about time travel she’s like you know what this means? An opportunity to find more MEN, and she commits THEFT even though Jonas reeeeally needed that machine (she only cares about herself), and proceeds to go to Ulrich ONLY TO TELL HIM SHE HATES HIM BECAUSE HE TRIED TO SAVE HIS SON I MEAN WHO DOES THAT

yes I am well aware that he was unable to say he loves her when she did but I will get more in depth with that later and I mean, come on, man has other priorities, could you really not get him out of prison???? so he can save his son???????

And then obviously she promptly moves on to the first man she sees (married, but she doesn’t care of course) (it’s the guy she reported Ulrich to way back when in the future/past, but she doesn’t care of course) AND HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY SHE LOST EVERYTHING like MADAM you did not care about your husband, your boyfriend only mattered because he gave you attention, and your SON has RETURNED with all the LOVE he has LEFT from this CAR CRASH of a reality and you RUN AWAY FROM HIM WHILST HE IS ASLEEP AND YOU SAY YOU LOST EVERYTHING MA’AM YOU ARE TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING I ACTUALLY CAN’T WITH THIS WOMAN-

I’m convinced she has a soft spot for kids because i can’t imagine what other reason she really has for having Silja (she obviously never loved Egon) so she has her and then she gets taken to Jonas and PRETENDS like NOTHING ever happened, like she didn't abandon him when he returned to her to go have a kid with someone else and she didn't steal his most important possession

And then YES she is tragically killed by her own son (which is usually a trait of someone very high up on the list (RIP in pepperonis Bartosz you are loved) but I don't care, she deserved it, otherwise the family tree would be 100 times more kaput if she was allowed to populate it even more, especially if she still has access to the machine) and that’s it, she gets a shut up/die

Ines Kahnwald

So people seem to be opinionated both ways with this one but here we go

I guess she WAS doing everything for Michael’s own good - he rocks up with no family or anything to speak of, he’s real scared and sad and she does in fact take him in when otherwise he would have been homeless jobless lifeless so yay Ines

And yeah I guess you could say it’s hard on her when he’s distant from her and everything but like? What did you expect? That’s not your real son bro???

And then she has to deal with his suicide (but again, he was kinda distant anyway it seems) and you get alienated by Hannah (honestly a good thing) but all in all it is nothing in comparison so you get a meh/maybe I don't actually care all that much, Hannah has taken all my energy

Doris Tiedemann

You did cheat on your husband. Idc who, why, with who, whatever, if you cheat then you a bitch for that and i have nothing more to say on the matter

Yeah then Agnes goes missing, then they potentially reunite, it’s all tame in comparison let’s be honest, idk/idc

Anyone else who I do not mention in any tier is either not a particularly significant character or they do not compare :) stay tuned for D Tier if you want

[mochasucculent]

Wish she was in the show more, girlie’s got some problems

[windenertageblatt]

Mark Waschke & Anne Ratte-Polle

(c) presseportal.de

[la-pheacienne]

Why is Ines giving sleeping pills to that poor kid? So that he doesn't randomly decide to leave her and come back to his real parents? Wtf is wrong with her. I didn't like her vibe since the beginning.

[hannahstanwald]

This scene killed me :(

[captainamsel]

And just how fucking singularly responsible Jonas is for fucking up Mikkel's life. The first time he tries to save him, who stops him? Older Jonas. Whose appearance informs him that he needs to commit suicide? Jonas's. But he was manipulated! By whom? Oh right, Adam who is Jonas. And, of course, who brought him through the cave in the fucking first place? Jonas!

[travllingbunny]

Dark + The Onion headlines - part 4 of ? (Season 2, episodes 2x03-2x06)

Part 1 (Season 1 - 1x01-1x06)

Part 2 (Season 1 - 1x09-1x10)

Part 3 (Season 2 - 2x01-2x02)

Part 5 (Season 2 - 2x07-2x08)

Part 6 (Season 3 - 3x01-3x04)

Dark + text posts

[just-otter-thoughts]

This will be interesting...

[dark-incorrect-quotes]

Mikkel: Ines has been looking at me kind of a lot this week.

Mikkel: I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to how that weird priest looks at me.

Noah: [intense staring]

[fkafigs]

 can’t stop thinking about how the show Dark is, at its core a story defined by parental bonds. 

(spoilers ahead)

Tanhaus accidentally creates 2 parallel worlds out of grief for his son and his family. Martha makes sure the apocalypse repeats itself to save her child. Michael Kahnwald comforts his son before killing himself and even in his final moments is concerned about Jonas.

Ulrich’s love for Mikkel forces him to go back in time to find his son and even try to kill a boy. Ines’ bonds with young Mikkel so strongly that she feels compelled to adopt him. Noah’s love for Charlotte also forces him to travel through time and do unspeakable things. 

Claudia attempts to break the cycle so that her daughter can have a chance of living a normal life.

tl;dr: almost all important events in Dark are defined by what a parent is willing to do for their child.

[windenertageblatt]

“German actresses Anja Schneider, Angela Winkler and Karoline Eichhorn (L-R) smile during a photo call for the film 'Ferien' (Vacation) at the 57th Berlinale Film Festival in Berlin, Germany, Thursday, 15 February 2007. Photo: Wolfgang Kumm”

[nocturnalreturn]

I know Ines loved Mikkel and such but it always irks me whenever she tells him that the past is the past. Idk it just feels like she’s telling him to get over it which might not be her intention but :/

Ines is a shitty parent, and, possibly, an even shittier grandparent. Somehow, she doesn’t catch nearly as much flak as Hannah in the fandom, and yet, she did way more to fuck Mikkel up with the meds and the gaslighting. And don’t get me started on how she watched Jonas get carted off to the nuthouse without mentioning Michael’s letter. Did she seriously think he felt the need to explain himself to her, and not to the teenage son he had such a close and loving relationship with? Get a grip, you selfish old bat.

[sexy-zeitreise-detektiv]

The real reason why everyone stayed in Winden is its property market. Ines - a single mother and nurse - could afford to stay over twenty years in a 1-2 story house (+attic+garden). And after Michael died Hannah (a widowed masseuse) managed to support the three of them without them ever even mentioning money, which means the maintenance costs can't be too high. I guess Ines gets benefits because she's retired but damn what a deal. Buy property in Winden now for the low low cost of two fucktons of trauma and casual incest.