#inducing pure consciousness

[b4ddprincess]

transitioning to pure consciousness

i still got a lot of people telling me that they "can't enter the void" when all you're doing is inducing pure consciousness which results in transitioning from the awake state to pure consciousness. the same concept as inducing sleep to be asleep.

inducing pure consciousness is subconsciously convincing yourself that you're in the purest state of consciousness (focus is away from the physical world, and only on imagination). in doing this, we will manifest a transition from the awake state to the purest state. we are subconsciously telling ourselves that we are no longer in the awake state of consciousness, but in the purest state of consciousness instead.

this meaning that inducing pure consciousness ≠ waiting for a shift/symptoms/something to happen. inducing pure consciousness = only being aware of your thoughts/4d and forgetting about the 3d.

[salemlunaa]

✰ TO SHIFT CONSCIOUSNESS YOU MUST MASTER THE ACT OF LETTING GO ✰

and not in the way you think i’m talking about…

You need to realise your desires are not far fetched, they aren’t even desires and were not desires the second you thought about them. They were yours the second you expressed a want for these things because for the millionth time, you’re the god of your reality and what you say goes.

Now when i say “let go”, im not referring to the fact that “you need to let go of the physical world” or “let go of your body” and bla bla bla, I mean you need to let go of the mentality that has been holding you hostage for quite a while

Having the perfect routine isn’t going to make a change unless you have mentally let go of this reality. Having affirmations that you repeat all the time won’t do shit if you don’t let go

Let go of the person who has tried everything and just can’t manage to tap in to the void/induce pure consciousness

Let go of the person who needs to check success stories just to feel something in order to motivate themselves

Let go of the person who likes doomscrolling for motivation when they would already be in their new reality if they tried

Let go of the person who is a failure

Let go of the person who has been trying for months/years to no avail

Let go of the person who needs to go to bloggers, coaches and outside sources and ask questions they damn well know the answer to

Let go of the person who just can’t

It can feel so validating to have these problems because so many people do, and you feel like you can relate to others with these issues and it makes you feel good, it makes you feel validated to reaffirm these problems and have others comfort and coddle you. I know you want advice, you’re frustrated and want to vent. I know you want people to talk to and cry with, because, again, it makes you feel seen and validated. But where is that feeling of validation gonna lead you? to 2026, 2027 even 2028, still saying the same things? still affirming that you’ve been in the community for years and nothing works for you?

You need to let go of that miserable person, you are “I AM” you need to take your consciousness and take your awareness away from that miserable person and shift them to the person who can tap into the “i am” state with ease

shift your awareness to someone who can induce pure consciousness within seconds

to someone who gets whatever they want

to someone who can do all

to someone who doesn’t know the meaning of failure even if it hit them in the face

if you don’t let go you’re never gonna leave, you need to sit with yourself and be honest, have you let go of the person with unfavourable circumstances? have you shifted awareness to the person who is all you want to be, better yet all that you are? You are “I AM”, just decide that you aren’t that person anymore and immediately your consciousness and awareness will shift to who you now are. You can BE anything because you ARE everything.

And as “I AM”, as a god, you can choose where to place your consciousness and where to place your awareness, that’s all shifting is, placing your awareness and consciousness in the reality that is desired, not some huge extravaganza. Shift your awareness to someone who can do all things, and that is who you will be, this law cannot fail.

misery loves company, don’t stay in the club simply because it validates and comforts you, remove yourself and place yourself in that of who you want to be.

DETACH FROM WHAT YOU KNOW, TO BE WHAT YOU WANT 🍨💋

[hotpinkstars]

same bitch who requested the last wrio pregnancy stuffs but I need more and I'm like kinda in love with your writing so I want to request MOREEEEEEE anyways how he deals with reader third trimester (WRIO DOTING ON U CUS UR SO ROUND AND CUTE AWEEHFUREILFRUEIWHFCIR) anyeyss thanks for listening ily nova

-> third trimester

synopsis -> wriothesley during ur third trimester of pregnancy. self explanatory

a/n -> anon ur my spirit animal i love ur energy (and u 😉) but anyways i could write so much more lmk if anyone wants a part 2

warnings -> pregnancy, lactation and vomiting mentions, besides that pure fluff

w/c -> 1.6k

he doesn’t know how to feel the moment you tell him you’re officially in the third trimester of your pregnancy. it all went by so fast, he thinks it was just yesterday you called him into the bathroom to look at the small test that changed your lives in the greatest way possible.

and now, you were almost finished growing your daughter. anyone who even took a glance your way could certainly tell that you were having a child, and it’s certainly the dukes. 

the women of the fortress have been keeping tabs on you and your pregnancy, awaiting the day you walk with your baby in your arms instead of in your stomach. they’re so nice to you, so wriothesley allows you to wander sometimes because of it. they’re always willing to make you comfortable and give you some of the nicest labor-inducing teas they can find.

now, this is around the time he’s likely going to take a work leave, or just not work as often. his job requires his undivided attention, and he has to be flexible and able to be there in case a tragedy, like the seal breaking, were to occur. (hopefully not, because he still thinks about how he’d get you out of the fortress in time. you’re unable to run and you can barely walk at a quick pace, leaving him nervous and clueless a lot, considering your living quarters were connected to a door in his office). 

besides that, your life is pretty good, despite how uncomfortable you feel all the time. you ache everywhere, and sleep is simply not a thing that comes by often anymore. so, these are the moments wriothesley is able to step in and make sure that you’re content and as comfortable as you possibly can be. 

the main thing he needs to do for you is help you stand, considering that it’s incredibly hard for you now. you can do it of course, but it’s too much effort and you always either stand and immediately sit back down due to how winded you feel, or you just don’t try at all. wriothesleys strength comes into hand in these moments, almost making you fall forward due to how quick he pulls you up (the first time he did it, it actually happened. he caught you in time, but it left you laughing and him just there like “i almost just killed you sweetheart” and worried). 

he’s so the type of husband to barely wake up when you scoot yourself out of bed to use the restroom, and him behind you giving you a little boost to get up before going right back to sleep. he’ll try to keep consciousness while you’re out of bed, in case you fall or something happens, but as soon as he sees you re-enter the room he’s out once more. 

the only times he genuinely wakes up at night is when you frantically shake/tap him or you’re crying. if you’re crying, he’ll sit up and turn on a light (if you want) and try to ask you what the problem is. if it’s just a cramp or if you’re just achy/not in the right position, he’ll massage you or help you reposition the pillows to ensure your comfort. 

and when it comes to you walking up his offices’ stairs? he’s incredibly paranoid about it, but he’ll try to not make it known. you had to tell him multiple times to settle, that the railing was enough to keep you on your balance, and that you were just pregnant, not paralyzed. he’ll still try to meet you down at the door to help you up the stairs, especially when you’re at your biggest point. he’d be anything but calm and composed if you were to take a tumble down them (he would have a heart attack on the spot). 

and oh, would that man dote on your belly. you’re just so adorable, how could he not? especially when you’re curled up on the couch in his office with a luxurious sherpa blanket and the roundness of your tummy under the cover is very evident. usually, he won’t be able to help himself and would lay down next to you, his head lightly propped up on your stomach or on the side of your body. on the occasions he falls asleep, you stroke his hair, reading whatever book in his office that has piqued your interest this time. 

he’s also a tease. sometimes. he’ll walk past you and gently brush a part of his body against your belly, usually his hip or his hand. but back to the point, he’ll rub it, massage it, hold it up to take off pressure from your back and pelvis, and cuddle it! you’re not gonna be pregnant forever, so he sees this as a chance he can’t waste. only if you’re comfortable with it, of course. if not, then he wont proceed. 

this man loves tea, so there's no surprise when he brings in a tea that he’d read induces labor, or at least makes for a smoother one. he honestly probably has so many of those types, presenting you the box and allowing you to choose which one you’d like this time. seeing your eyes sparkle and your fingers wiggle as you choose your tea of choice always makes his heart soar in adoration. 

and back on the tea thing, he’s on all of the times said book told you to have it. he’s always giving it to you right on the dot of the hour unless something else more important has taken his attention (which isn’t much, unless he’s in a meeting or something really bad has happened in fontaine/the fortress). 

he’s also one of those husbands who secretly makes an important note in his brain whenever you have an ultrasound or any sort of baby appointment coming up. he wouldn’t miss one for the world- even though it's one of the little things, it means a lot to the both of you when he shows up alongside you, and shows the world how devoted of a husband he is to you. cue clorinde in the corner taking care of his work for him during the hour that he’s away. 

like i said in my last post, his massages are incredible! usually, he’ll get the memo, and right when he gets home, he’ll set you in between his legs before rubbing the soreness out of your back, hips, shoulders, neck, foot, and calf. 

he likes to make those moments last longer, and makes him feel good if you feel good. sometimes he’ll add a little kiss to the top of your foot or along your shoulders when he’s done, making you giggle a little before going on about how he has no need to be so formal (in which he counteracts by saying something cheesy about his love for you to make you laugh once more). 

he hates seeing you in pain, and especially hates it when he hears you cry about how exhausted you are. no, not that he hates when you cry, he just hates that you have to do this all alone. obviously, he is there to give all of his support and more, and would carry the baby for you if he could, but he can't. and he knows you’re exhausted, but his issue is that there is nothing for him to do to help you feel at least a little better. he understands that it’ll come when the baby is born, and he’s already told you how for the first few weeks he’ll do anything and everything to care for the baby while you catch up on your hard-earned rest. 

another great thing about him is that he pays no mind to things such as lactation, vomiting, etc (i have genuinely seen men who make fun of their wives for things such as that out of their control). he recognizes that its just something that happens, and its normal in pregnancy, and he won't get mad at you if any of these things happen while you’re wearing his clothing, either. considering you dislike maternity clothes, you’ve been wearing his shirts lately, resulting in milk stains in some of them. you’re over here apologizing profusely while he gives you a soft lecture on how he understands that it's not your fault, that it's out of your control. because he also knows for certain that if this was something you could control, you’d choose to not have it happen. 

this guy is clingy at night, so when he realizes that cuddling you is kind of out of the options, either due to your absolutely obnoxious, in his words pregnancy pillow, or your belly is in the way, he’s certainly not thrilled. but he finds a way, which is usually just spooning you from behind or bringing your head to his chest. the first time you two did the second method, you felt embarrassed, due to your tummy barely even being able to fit the gap between you and his hip, but as time went on, you just didn’t care anymore, literally laying like half on top of him. not like he cares either. thats what he wanted you to do in the first place. 

and in the times your so so clingy, wanting to just lay flat on top of him and forget about everything and just be in the warm, strong embrace of your husband, he’s even more crafty! usually uses the side method once again unless you quite literally find a position that’ll make you as close as you possibly could be to him. sometimes it’s incredibly uncomfortable, but if it makes you happy and safe and content, he won’t fight it. just know that this might be the only time you get to do that very position with him. 

overall, mans is a great fucking husband during your pregnancy, always super patient with you and would never shame you for things out of your control. you know he’s so so soft for you and you love him so so so so much.

[thegodofvoidandemptiness]

What is Void State? How To Enter? Methods?

What is Void State?:

The void state is a state of consciousness where one is detached from all physical sensations, thoughts, and external distractions. It is a place of pure awareness and potentiality, where the mind is completely still and the body is fully relaxed. In this state, one can experience heightened levels of focus and concentration, and access a state of limitless and infinite possibilities. Some people believe that while in the void state, they can manifest anything they desire, as there is no resistance or limitation within this state of pure potentiality.

How To Enter?(with most popular method):

Find a comfortable and quiet place where you can relax and focus.

Get into a comfortable position, sitting or lying down.

Close your eyes and take slow, deep breaths.

Allow yourself to relax completely, focusing on clearing your mind of all thoughts and distractions.

Continue breathing deeply and calmly, and visualize yourself entering thevoid state.

Once you feel yourself fully detached from your physical body and surroundings, you have entered the void state.

Other Void State Methods:

Using binaural beats or isochronic tones: These audio frequencies can help to lower brainwave activity and induce a meditative state.

Using guided visualization: This involves following a recorded visualization script that guides you into a relaxed and imaginative state.

Using hypnotherapy: This involves working with a hypnotherapist who can guide you into a deeply relaxed and receptive state.

Using progressive muscle relaxation: This involves tensing and relaxing different muscle groups in your body to induce a state of deep relaxation.

Theta Waves and Void State:

Theta waves are brainwaves associated with a relaxed, meditative state of consciousness. Listening to theta waves can be helpful for entering the void state because they can help to slow down brain activity and induce a state of deep relaxation and focus. This can make it easier to release external distractions and enter the void state. Additionally, theta waves are believed to promote deep meditative states, such as those experienced in yoga, and can be helpful for connecting to one's higher self and inner wisdom.

Recommendations(Subliminals about void state and theta waves):

(No one of these videos are mine!!)

That's all for now! <3

[arisuworld]

THE VOID STATE : AN EPIPHANY

* ˚ ✰ — WHAT IS THE VOID STATE?

The void state is the state of pure consciousness. It is commonly referred to as the 'I AM' state in Neville Goddard’s work. "I am state" is a state in which you are a formless being. Time stops, and there's nothing but blackness around you. When you're in the void state, you're in a state of pure consciousness. You aren't in your body anymore. You're shapeless. Also, it's not scary at all. Instead it's very peaceful.

* ˚ ✰ — HOW TO ENTER THE VOID STATE?

Your faith is your fortune chapter 3: To accomplish this seemingly impossible feat, you take your attention away from your problem and place it upon just being. You say silently but feelingly, “I AM”. Do not condition this awareness but continue declaring quietly, “I AM – I AM”. Simply feel that you are faceless and formless and continue doing so until you feel yourself floating. This wonderful experience of rising and floating is the signal that you are absent from the body or problem and are now present with the lord; in this expanded state you are not conscious of anything but I AM — I AM; you are only conscious of being.

STEP TO STEP :-

1. Find a comfortable position.

2. Relax by taking deep breaths. You can also do any breathing techniques you like.

3. Take you attention away from the 3D and just focus on affirming “I AM” or “I AM PURE CONSCIOUSNESS” or “I AM IN THE VOID STATE.”

4. Persist till you experience floating feeling and the 3D fades away.

* ˚ ✰ — DIFFERENT METHODS TO ENTER THE VOID STATE

1. ' THE LULLABY METHOD '

Firstly, get into a drowsy, sleepy state. Not too awake, but not too sleepy. Like, when you can open your eyes but you don't want to. Then, affirm for your desires until you completely fall asleep, with your desires being the only thing on your mind.

2. ' SLEEP PARALYSIS '

Sleep paralysis is a quick and easy way to enter the void state. Sleep paralysis means when you cannot move your body AT ALL.

Don't worry, sleep paralysis is not scary at all. You won't see anything scary, untill you start thinking about something scary. Also, it's just hallucinations, nothing can you harm you. Always, remember you are in FULL control. You chose to give yourself sleep paralysis, and you can also come out of it if you want to! To get out of the sleep paralysis, simply wiggle your toes.

• Get into a comfortable position, and wait for your body to fall asleep, while keeping your mind awake. Do this by staying completely still and thinking of random things or counting numbers or daydreaming to keep your mind awake. Eventually, you will convince your body it is asleep.

Here are some ways to induce sleep paralysis:-

• You can listen to a guided meditation to induce sleep paralysis.

• You can listen to a subliminal.

• Affirm "i have sleep paralysis" in a drowsy state, and you'll wake up with it (basically, the lullaby method)

• Simply set the intention that you'll get sleep paralysis.

3. ' COMMANDING YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS TO WAKE UP IN THE VOID STATE ’

You can command your subconscious to get in the void by simply stating “subconscious get me in the void quickly and easily” in a drowsy state. For this method to successfully work, stop knowledging the 3D. Stay committed to your subconscious, it only does what you say.

4. ' LUCID DREAMING '

Lucid dreaming is when a person becomes aware they're dreaming while dreaming. You can easily lucid dream by setting an intention. Set an intention and say to yourself that "tonight I will lucid dream". You can say it once or chant it like a mantra till you fall asleep.

Then when you realise you're dreaming, you can either create a portal with the intention of entering the void or ask someone to take you to the void.

5. ' YOGA NIDRA '

"Yoga Nidra means Yogic Sleep. It is a state of conscious Deep Sleep. In Meditation, you remain in the Waking state of consciousness, and gently focus the mind, while allowing thought patterns, emotions, sensations, and images to arise and go on. However, in Yoga Nidra, you leave the Waking state, go past the Dreaming state, and go to Deep Sleep, yet remain awake."

You can use a Guided Meditation that I linked here. After using the video, Start focusing on your Affirmations. You can say "I am void", "I am" , "I am in the void", and try to ignore all the symptoms and persist through them. Then within minutes you will be in the void state.

— HOW DO I KNOW I'M IN THE VOID?

YOU'LL KNOW YOU'RE IN THE VOID WHEN:

• You are not in your room anymore

• It's pitch black

• You get your desires the second you exit the void.

• The outer world no longer exists. You can’t hear, see, touch, feel, taste anything.

WHY YOU FAIL TO ENTER THE VOID :—

• LACK OF PERSISTENCE : Just because you failed to enter the void state twice or thrice, doesn't automatically declares that void isn't real or that you can't do it. That's silly asf. It's like you're sabotaging your dream life yourself. Also, stop counting how many times you've failed and from how many months you've been trying. Don’t measure your experience with time. You control everything so even the time you take to enter the void is based on your assumptions.

• ASSUMPTIONS : Stop thinking that void is this magical place which will grant your wishes. You're assuming it to be something out of you, when it's WITHIN YOU. Also, entering void is not hard at all. Why would it be hard to reach something which is within you? It will be hard, if you think so. Just start creating assumptions in your favour. Start thinking like you would if you were a master at void. It's just LOA 101. Use it in your favour!!

• OVERCOMPLICATE : I've seen everyone overcomplicate the void state. The void state is simple and easy. All you need to do is relax & affirm. You don’t need any subliminals, meditation or special hypnosis to get you there. The void isn’t an external state. It’s internal. It’s within you. The methods or techniques don’t get you into the void, you do!! You shouldn't be looking for new methods all the time, instead start working on your self concept. It will change everything, i promise you that.

[gorgeouslypink]

The Illusion of Method (My AP "Guide")

Hey guys! I'm so sorry that I've been behind on finishing up my masterlist but I've been really busy. I was having a conversation with my friend @junfairykyu and I remembered this post and she said it really helped her and urged me to share it with you guys too! This post is to help people AP (astral project) but the same concepts apply for the void. I hope this helps everyone.

original link: here

Hello there,

In this post I want to share an epiphany I had a few months ago regarding astral projection which changed my approach to it completely. Once I understood what I am about to explain, the amount of OBEs I had completely skyrocketed, to the point I can astral project on demand. I later found I could apply the same rule to lucid dreaming, and I started to enjoy countless conscious dreams. So this is the story of how I got to the "core aspect" of astral projection, the key to induce it effortlessly on demand. I will start by explaining the conditions whereby I came to this "truth" or "top method", and then I will develop it a bit more to ensure that its understandable. I I hope you guys enjoy the post and benefit from it. That being said, let's start!

I have been having OBEs for a few years now. A few years in which I tried many astral projection techniques, and while some of them seemed to work better than others, I always had one single desire that obsessed me to the core: I wanted to understand what was the root technique, i.e. that background cause, shared by all fruitful OBE strategies, that actually separated consciousness from the body. You know, the skeleton of all techniques. It was the deepest of my fixations, and I was compelled to find out the answer to that, I knew there was a core method, it was undeniable: if many different techniques lead to the same results, then there was for sure some hidden and shared dynamic that, if emulated over and over again, it would always produce Out of body experiences.

But it was really hard at first to understand what this hidden method was, because I was conditioned by my own results. What do I mean by this? Well, if only one technique worked for me, then it would be easy to assume "oh, that's the true and only method". But I had successful results with a wide variety of techniques, so different from each other: from tactile visualization, up to affirmations and pure desire, the ear ringing technique (using the ear buzzing sound to project) , the WBTB and many others. The challenge was in finding the single thing that united such different techniques. It seemed almost impossible!

You see, at first I thought imagination was a core aspect, but I rapidly discarded that, because many techniques dispensed with imagination. So then, imagination wasn't necessary. I kept discarding things just like that, trying to reach the substratum. I eventually thought it was pure intention, pure desire. This made sense to some extent, because all techniques required you to think actively about projection, whether you do this by imagining you project, or state it via affirmations, or whatever. It seemed like I succeeded with stripping away everything unnecessary. But then I had an spontaneous projection, which messed it all up. Not that it was the first spontaneous OBE in my life. In fact, I had a few of those during my career as an astral traveller. I was just ignoring them. Pretending that they were not there. Right when i thought astral projection had to do with a burning desire or intention, I realized that some OBEs dispensed with intention completely.

I was so obsessed with finding the key to astral projection in those OBEs I induced myself, that I was screening out those that happened involuntarily. I don't know why, but I guess it made more sense to find the how-to in the techniques rather than in...and then my mind went silent. I reached something important: a point of no-return. I realized something embarrassing: I had the answer in front of my eyes, but I kept pretending there was a hidden solution. But via spontaneous projections, the message was clear: it is not that those "spontaneous" projections weren't induced by me. NONE of my projections were induced by me! Its almost as if my unconscious was trying to tell me, via spontaneous projections, something like; "hey! its me who does it, not you".

At that point I understood the following: there is no method. We can't induce out-of-body experiences, nor lucid awareness in a dream. We don't really know how it is that the projection of consciousness occurs, or how lucidity pops up. We just get to experience it under certain conditions. All we do, really, is asking for projections to occur, while meeting the most optimal conditions for them to occur. That's the reason why spontaneous projections are kinda unconfortable for many and we try to screen them out, because they are trying to tell us about the illusion of method, and we as humans need to cling on a certain "how to", believing we are responsible for phenomena to occur. But we aren't. It is "something else" (the unconscious, the higher self, or whatever you want to call it) who kicks you out of your body, or triggers lucidity while dreaming. And when it occurs naturally, we try to understand how we did it, instead of realizing it isn't something we did, and thus opening ourselves to that same gift.

When I understood that, I began to do the following (the "no-method" method), and it ALWAYS works: I just lie down in the morning (to ensure that I don't fall asleep), close my eyes and simply ask this "unconscious" or whatever it is, to induce an OBE for me. And then I evoke this feeling of TRUST. I trust him, I trust that it will do the rest for me, because I understand that every time my consciousness escapes my body, it is this kind of higher consciousness or being who does it, not me. And this feeling of trust is the way to get rid of responsibility; in giving away this need for control and responsibility for the experience to occur, you also get rid of anxiety, fear and other emotions that boycott the outcome. So then, i just allow myself to drift with that feeling of peace, KNOWING that it will happen and I don't have to worry about it. Every time I do this, I get an amazing out of body experience. I just ask "the universe" to induce an OBE, and allow it to do its job. This same "method" (now you see why I refer to it as the illusion of method: you really don't do a thing) also applies to lucid dreaming: I just allow my higher self or unconscious mind or whatever to trigger lucid awareness for me, and go to sleep happily, knowing that it will happen.

To sum up, the answer is not in the techniques. All techniques are rituals we create to convince ourselves that we are the architects of the out of body experience, but we aren't. By acknowledging the one who DOES induce these kind of experiences, we get ourselves out of its way, we allow it to do its job and our emotions and feeling of responsibility no longer boycott the results. It is quite weird, even ironic to some extent, but it is also a relief in some way. You realize that you were never doing it wrong, because you can't do it. None of us have the supernatural power to separate consciousnesses from their bodies, its absurd. That being said, allow yourself to experience the OBE state, trusting your inner mind, knowing it will do this for you.

Exempt yourself from this responsibility and enjoy!

UPDATE: If you enjoyed the approach given in this post or found it useful, I am excited to announce that I just released an AP book on Amazon called "The Illusion of Method", which is an in-depth expansion of this guide: https://www.reddit.com/r/AstralProjection/comments/pc3ipt/my_ap_book_the_illusion_of_method_is_available_on/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

[anna-the-undertaker]

Nightmares and Nonsense

This is based on this post. I came up with that idea during one of my insomnia induced sleepless nights. I want to give special thanks to @anunholyabomination for inspiring me with the sheer hilarity of their comment on that post. So this is for you lmao additional tags: @leilakaro @sheep-from-rad

Belphegor's nights were an exercise in futility and simmering rage. Confined within the attic's gloomy walls, his disdain for humans stewed alongside a relentless boredom. The appearance of the human exchange student only served to ignite his contempt further. Yet, a mischievous part of him, the part that delighted in the subtle arts of manipulation and control, saw an opportunity in this unsuspecting human's arrival.

He discovered their dreaming mind by pure coincidence. While wandering the endless expanse of his own subconscious, a new dreamscape overlapped his, leaving Belphie adrift and puzzled. As a demon deeply acquainted with the nuances of sleep and dreams, he rarely encountered a dreamscape that could surprise him—at least he thought none of them could.

The dream before him was vivid, an intricately woven tapestry of colors and sensations that resonated with an unfamiliar yet undeniably human energy. He moved through it with the ease of a shadow, unseen and unnoticed, until he sensed a shift—a ripple of awareness that prickled at the edges of his consciousness.

Turning towards the source, he realized it was the human, and tried to get closer, intrigued by their control and clarity, and eager to exploit this opportunity. But before he could get any closer, a voice, clear and authoritative, cut through the dream’s fabric.

“Did I give you permission to come here?” The voice was neither hostile nor welcoming, carrying a tone of nonchalant power that Belphie wasn't used to being subjected to.

Startled, Belphie had barely a moment to register the dismissal before he was forcibly ejected from the dreamscape. He woke with a gasp, the abrupt return to his own consciousness leaving him disoriented and a single thought crossed his mind, “What the fuck…”

The encounter, however brief, sparked an obsession in Belphie. Night after night, he tried to re-enter the human's subconscious realm. Each attempt, however, ended more ludicrously than the last. The human didn’t just eject him but began to twist his appearances into increasingly absurd scenarios.

One night, he found himself manifested at the edge of a surreal circus. No sooner had he entered he was transformed—his dignified demonic form altered into that of a clown, complete with oversized shoes and a garish red nose. Before he could react, an imposing figure that his dream-altered mind couldn't recognize appeared, tall, bearded and dressed in top hat and singlet, shoving tacos into his mouth while shouting about something called Reese’s Puffs. In the background, aliens, decked out like gangsters, were busy robbing some place called a Chuck E. Cheese, stuffing their bags with what they loudly declared to be diamonds.

Another attempt saw him materialize in a dream-designed version of the wild west, where he was immediately put on a horse that had a mind of its own. As he struggled to maintain his balance, dream-created characters pelted him with bizarre questions about quantum physics—a subject he had no knowledge of, much less in his sleep. The absurdity peaked when the horse decided to join in the conversation, offering insights in a surprisingly sophisticated British accent.

At some point he was a fearsome pirate aboard a sinking ship, desperately trying to scare MC with threats of walking the plank, only to have the scene dissolve into a bizarre beach party where MC forced him to participate in a limbo contest. The dream characters cheered on, including the tall man from before who inexplicably acted as the DJ, blasting 80s pop hits.

And again, he was a villain in a medieval setting, ready to lay siege to a castle. Just as he began his threatening monologue, the scene shifted, turning him into a court jester reciting Shakespearean insults while juggling tomatoes. MC, dressed as the ruler, laughed from their throne, utterly unfazed by his supposed menace.

The indignity of it was almost too much, and he had withdrawn with a seething anger, masked by a forced calm. Yet, Belphie couldn't help but admire the human's deft control over their dreams. It was an ability he hadn't anticipated, one that both infuriated and intrigued him.

After numerous humiliations, Belphie's approach shifted. Perhaps he could weave himself into their subconscious as a constant, albeit ridiculous, presence. Allowing the human to get used to him would make it easier to manipulate them later, but that meant going along with their little game. He knew there would be no way to hide that he was a demon, but that was just a small change to his growing plan. Gradually, his intrusions became less about domination and more about persistence.

Finally, the human seemed to tire of crafting bizarre punishments. Belphie found himself simply present in the dreams, no longer transformed or tormented. He was just another character in the ever-changing tapestry of the human's dream world. This sudden normalcy felt like a cold truce, and while part of him was relieved, another part—a dark, vengeful slice of his soul—simmered with unresolved anger.

When they eventually met in person, the attic's dusty gloom illuminated by the intrusion of this peculiar human, Belphie’s feelings were a complex web of grudging respect, lingering disdain, and a peculiar curiosity.

“You,” Belphie greeted, his voice cool but laced with an undercurrent of amusement and annoyance. “Quite the dream weaver, aren’t you?”

The human's grin was all too knowing, their eyes sparkling with mischief. “Had to keep things interesting. You demons take yourselves so seriously.”

Belphie scoffed, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the wall. “You have no idea what you’re meddling with, human.”

“Maybe,” They conceded with a shrug, their confidence unshaken. “But I think I can handle it. Can you say the same?”

The challenge hung between them, and despite everything, Belphie found himself intrigued. Here was a human, capable of turning nightmares into farce, of standing toe-to-toe with a demon in the battlefield of dreams. As much as he hated to admit it, this might prove more interesting than he’d anticipated.

And, of course, he could find a way to use this to his advantage after all.

[sexydreamgirl]

I need to say something to you all that may come harshly, but I say it out of love.

A lot of you would be living your dream lives already or have even succeeded at the I AM state months ago if you had just logged off of Tumblr and abandoned all other loa resources.

I really really hate, loathe and despise the obsession with “the void”. Nobody hates it more than me. I’m its number one hater. 

You guys have over complicated something that wasn’t complicated in the first place.

These are Neville's instructions about how to do it:

You say silently but feelingly, "I AM." Do not condition this awareness but continue declaring quietly, "I AM — I AM." Simply feel that you are faceless and formless and continue doing so until you feel yourself floating.

Mind you, people haven’t even experienced the floating feeling or any other symptoms and still succeeded. You guys take mental note of what worked for another anon and hope that this will finally be it and that’s the problem You read success story after success story and send follow up questions about how long it took them to “get in”, which affirmations they used, what position they laid in, which exact meditation they listened to, what the temperature of the room was and whatever other irrelevant matters. You go from blog to blog in search of validation, wondering if you did it right by laying facedown rather than in a starfish position, if the affirmation you used is okay and if swallowing was the reason why you failed. That’s why you’ve continued to struggle, you keep entertaining the idea that you’re doing it wrong because you’re not doing it exactly like someone else and that has been the downfall for a lot of you. What should have been the takeaway? Different things work for different people, but what if I reminded told you that you are… God? As in, THE GOD, who gets to decide (assume) and so shall be? The God who can assume that snapping their fingers will instantly turn them into pure consciousness. Yet here you all are, folding like H&M sweaters accepting this (“failure”) to be your state of consciousness and hoping that this new exact procedure will finally help you succeed when all it has ever taken was to… assume otherwise.

The reason you’ve failed is because you’re conscious of that. How many times should I remind you all that consciousness is the only reality? That all it takes to finally see and experience the change is for you to shift your state of consciousness?

​​In order to rise to the level that you are not now expressing, you must completely drop the consciousness with which you are now identified. Until your present consciousness is dropped you will not be able to rise to another level.

Here is a list of all of the new additions that have been introduced/overcomplicated it:

Having to relax

Clearing your mind

Laying down

Staying still

Not swallowing (...?!?!)

Doing it before going to bed/at night

Using any kinds of waves (alpha/epsilon/theta)/subliminals

Affirming anything aside from I AM [I am pure consciousness/faceless and formless/the void/nothing]

Doing 3 day-3 week challenges……

inducing sleep paralysis

void concept………………

Affirm mindlessly throughout the day that it’s easy to do

I know people who’ve succeeded despite moving, while in class, while standing up in the shower yet day in and day out I continue to see people beg for the specifics. If any of these procedures worked for you and you manifested your dream life, congratulations! but none of these deviations are necessary. All they do is cultivate new assumptions within you guys that in order to become pure consciousness you need to clear your mind, stay completely still, take deep breaths, lay in x position, count to x, affirm «…» countlessly, etc.

I would also like to add, there is no need for void oriented blogs or extensive informational posts regarding this subject. You guys are only making it worse on yourselves. Blogs that are committed to answer void questions and reblog void success stories do more harm than good because they further condone the fascination with it and harvest more assumptions about how to do it. 

Not only that, you guys obsess over methods and challenges wayyyyyyyy too much and your attention is specifically consumed by them when your focus should be targeted towards having it in the 4D. When you are fixated by the need for it to be present in the 3D as soon as possible, you are missing the point of the law of assumption.

It is not about wanting nor getting, it is about embodying and accepting that it is already yours now. Claim it in imagination and it’ll inevitably crystallize within your tangible reality. As within, so without. 

There is no shame in wanting to try it out, there is shame in the pedestalization of it. The I AM state is not the answer to all of your problems. I understand the need for instant results, I know people who were dealing with difficult circumstances and wanted an immediate remedy so the I AM state became the goal when it shouldn’t be the goal, it’s only the means to get you to the goal, but obsessing over whether you’re doing it correctly isn’t going to help you, it’ll only impose stress and frustration upon you and will further push you in a hole of desperation and the cycle will perpetuate. 

It only worsens when people literally put their lives on hold. You could have manifested your dream life within a week by entertaining a completely new state of consciousness (though gentle reminder that time shouldn’t be a point of focus in general either but I digress), but your attention is entirely consumed by the I AM state and you’re participating in three day challenges “waiting” until your mind is completely marinated in affirmations about how quick and easy it is… why? Stop waiting for your desires, they are yours NOW.

The reason why methods and challenges work in the first place is because you have given them permission to be the conditions that will be required in order to bring your desire in the 3D. If you assumed clapping three times would add $500,000 to your bank account that’s precisely what would happen and all that is asked of you is to shift your state of consciousness. Methods and challenges do not grant your desires, they are only training wheels that’ll aid you to live in the end and feel the wish fulfilled, which is meant to be the goal.

To see that you guys go to me and other blogs BEGGING us to manifest that you wake up in the void tells me that you guys truly don’t see yourselves as the architects of your reality. 

Please adjust your self concept and stop surrendering to other people, it’s absolutely shameful. You are GOD, please start acting (and thinking) as such. Stop seeing yourself as a failure and start seeing yourself as the person who’s in control of every facet of their reality. because you are. The 3D is malleable at your command. That is what the law states. Please STAND UP.

You want to succeed at the I AM state? Okay, apply the basis of the law. How would you feel if you knew that becoming pure consciousness was as easy as breathing? That all it took was for you to relax and dwell on I AM? How easy it is for you to do whenever you feel like it? Sustain that state and you will not fail.

I genuinely pity and condemn the damage the fixation on the I AM state has caused in the community as a whole as well as on you guys individually. This is helping no one and I am tired of seeing the chokehold it has put a lot of you in. if you feel called out by this post then I strongly encourage you to reconsider what you plan to do from this point on. Leave « the void » alone, learn about the law and apply. Please, please, please give « the void » a rest. Not for my sake, but for yours. The pen (your imagination) is always in your hand and it's simply waiting to be used. You are all infinitely greater than you think you are. Stop putting your lives on hold and neglecting the inalienable power within you over the I AM state.

You have my love and you have my support. I wish each and every one of you nothing less than all of your desires materialized. I am here for you to help you however I can when it comes to clarification regarding the law of assumption, but I'm never going to partake in this fascination with the I AM state and further exacerbate it.

That is all.

[proudhamarsing]

Whenever you are going to sleep, Intent to wake up In the void state with full awareness, As you have your eyes closed focus on whatever you see behind your eyelids, start repeating I AM or ANY other void state/pure consciousness affirmation that you absolutely LOVE and makes you feel LOVED, take deep breaths at your own pace and feel the manifestation of energy aka the breaths of yours to wash your soul with LOVE, feel the love In your heartbeats and find the comfort In that! I'd suggest listening to a guided sleep talkdown or a sleep meditation as those are extra comforting ❤️🥰

Inducing the void state however way you enjoy/love brings you peace, dedication, positivity, strenght etc!

Love Is the highest frequency and It Is permanent ❤️🥰

[prettyverse2]

crush updates (subliminals, affirmations, etc.)

i started to listen to my subliminal playlist again yesterday, except this time, instead of obsessing over it and getting worried when i don't listen to it, i am following @oliviaswrldd advice on sublimiminals, and using them to REMIND myself that i have what i am manifesting, and so today, at school my crush (let's call her soccer cause she plays that sport), was a lot more touchy and communicative with me today (like way more), and we are friends which could be the reason why, but I dont think so, because since she usually has her other friends, she never really talks to me as much anymore, but today she even yelled across the room just to talk to me, and then she said hi to me in the hallway (call me delusional but I call it progress), and then in class when we were about to leave, she literally was talking to her other friend, (let's call her softball), and she put her hand on my shoulder!!!!! (I was literally internally SCREAMING). this is the most kind of attached she has been to me for around 3 years (yes ik it's sad that i have had a crush on her for 3 years, but come on, bro). I have also been saying affirmations to myself to kind of tell myself that she is obsessed with me and she likes me back, but sometimes I forget to say them or I just don't want to and by looking at @hayqueen's post about just living your life and not doing things if you dint want to, im not as worried as much. Now, I'm not only manifesting her (or should I say manifested her???) but I am also manifesting easily, being able to easily induce pure consciousness (and I am using @b4ddprincess as my motivation!!) but yeah, that's pretty much my update for now. Let me know if you want more updates on my manifestation journey or not ☺️. i'll put the subliminals i have been using for these topics down below in picture form, too. bye pookies 🎀

[txhyheart1313]

If you ask me what the hell I do to induce pure consciousness, I wouldn't know what to answer. 🥰

I listen to audios, I claim very little, I assume it's easy, because it is, and... Well, school hasn't left me much to be able to meditate. Oh, that reminds me of how on Sunday I entered the void, only I didn't realize it, and when I went into sleep paralysis I freaked out because previous times I couldn't breathe because of it, but this time I did, but it was too late when I was already wiggling my toes to get out of it.

My face two seconds after realizing it was like:

[tamblr]

Intro to Tantric Shaivism: II - Kashmiri Shaivism

In my previous write-ups I explained what Tantra is and gave a brief introduction to Tantric Shaivism. In this write-up I’ll continue my exploration of Tantric Shaivism by introducing one of the most sophisticated traditions of Tantric Shaivism: Kashmiri Shaivism. I won’t talk about the sages who inspired these schools as I think that will make the essay way too long but instead focus on the main philosophy of each school within Kashmiri Shaivism. The three main active schools of thought within Tantric Shaivism today are Kashmiri Shaivism, Saiva siddhanta and Aghori. 

Kashmiri Shaivism is also known as the Trika system. It is a monistic tradition but cannot be defined as one school of thought but rather a collective of different schools that originated in Kashmir, namely: Pratyabhijna, Kula, Spanda, and Krama schools. 

It is known as the Trika system because they believe that the world contains three energies: 

Para (transcendental) - para 

Parapara (subtle) - sukshma 

Apara (gross) - sthula 

The right hand side of the names: sthula, sukshma and para are the names of these energies in the saiva siddhanta tradition. 

Pratyabhijna 

The word pratyabhijna means “to spontaneously once again recognize and realize your Self.” Here you have only to realize, you do not have to practice. There are no upayas (means) in the Pratyabhijna system. You must simply recognize who you are. This teaching, therefore, is situated chiefly in anupaya, which is that means where there are no means at all. It is the recognition that there was nothing to be done and nowhere to go. Here, there is no practice, no concentration and no meditation.

The purpose of Pratyabhijñā is the recognition of the Śiva nature of the world (and oneself). In order to achieve that, it is necessary to induce a modified state of consciousness through the use of Śakti. Śakti, loosely translated as energy, is the dynamic aspect of Śiva, the link between finite (the human subject) and infinite (Śiva). Thus comes about the fundamental principle: "Without the help of Śakti, pratyabhijñā is impossible”. 

2. Kula 

Abhinavagupta, one of the main Sages of this tradition, tells us that the term Kula is derivable from the root kul, which can mean a grouping together. From this meaning we can derive one of the meanings of Kula, a human grouping, namely a family, or more specifically a spiritual family that extends as far back as Siva himself. This lineage is unified by the sequential transmission of the achieved vision of the ultimate. 

The Kula system teaches you how you can live in caitanya  (universal Consciousness), the real nature of yourself, in the act of ascending and descending. While you rise from the lowest to the highest you realize your nature, and while you descend from the highest to the lowest you also realize your nature.

The difference between the Pratyabhijna system and the Kula system is, that the Pratyabhijna system teaches you how to realize your own nature in one place and exist there, reside there. While the Kula system teaches you how you can rise from the lowest degree to the highest degree, and all the while, experience the nature of your Self on the same level and state. Shiva, which is realized in prithvi tattva (earth element), is the same level, the same reality of Shiva which is realized in Shiva tattva. Here, there is complete realization in every act of the world.

3. Spanda 

The word spanda means “movement.” The Spanda school recognizes that nothing can exist without movement. Where there is movement there is life, and where there is no movement that is lifelessness. Spanda is the vibration or the pulse of consciousness. Every activity in the universe, as well as every perception, notion, sensation or emotion in the microcosm, ebbs and flows as part of the universal rhythm of the one reality, which is Siva ,the one God who is the pure conscious agent and perceiver. 

According to the Doctrine of Vibration, man can realise his true nature to be Siva by experiencing Spanda, the dynamic, recurrent and creative activity of the absolute. It is Spanda, the inscrutable pulse of consciousness, that moves and yet moves not, that changes and yet remains eternally itself, that ensures~that both manifestation and the absolute, its unmanifest source, form part of a single process which passes freely from one to the other in such a way that both poles are the same level and equally real.

The difference between the Pratyabhijna school and Spanda are that the spanda school emphasises on the recognition and experience of the vibration of consciousness while the former emphasises direct experience of Siva as oneself.

4. Krama

Krama system shows the development of Saktha tendencies in Saiva philosophy. Based on the Kālīkula (Kālī worship) branch of Tantric Śaivism, Krama means (‘sequence’) which internalized ritual worship of goddesses as the cyclical phases (krama) of one’s own awareness. The Krama system moves in space and time, but finally leads to Paramaśiva, who is beyond space and time. 

Ritual came to be understood as an inner process of realisation through which the initiate discovered his/her essential identity with Kali, who is the flow (krama) of the power of consciousness through the polarities of subject, object and means of knowledge in consonance with their arising and falling away in each act of perception.

The experience of this process coupled with the arousing of man's spiritual potential (kundalini) and the expansion of consciousness that brings it about is the most esoteric practice of the Krama system of Kashmiri Saivism. 

Kashmir Shaivism shares many parallel points of agreement with the lesser known monistic school of Shaiva Siddhanta as expressed in the Tirumantiram of Tirumular. This is a very brief introduction to the different schools of thought within Kashmiri Shaivism. It is important to recognise that these philosophies draw on each other as inspiration for their practices and contain less hard drawn lines. In the next piece I’ll talk about Saiva siddhanta. 

P.S. As usual if you want the links to the resources I referenced, more than happy to send them your way.

[loopstagirl]

Fractured Reflection, Chapter 2

Anyone who has not read @scribbles97 version here needs to go and read it right now. Pure perfection.

Ch 1

Same warnings as before: TW: POW, TW: torture

--

There was something in his throat.

He couldn’t breathe.

God, he couldn’t breathe!

He rasped, gagged, trying to thrash his head, anything to get away from it. What were they doing to him now? This was new; he couldn’t handle new.

“Easy, Scott. Lie still.”

He’d heard that voice. He’d heard it time and time again lately. Reassuring, soothing, calm. He figured he must’ve either given in to the delirium that had been dogging his footsteps since that last time in solitary, or he was falling asleep more and more, losing himself to dreams.

“Son, listen to me. You’re safe. It’s helping you breathe.”

Scott forced himself to open his eyes. He didn’t want to. If he faced it, then it became a reality, and he couldn’t deal with a new form of torment. But he had to know… that voice.

Three attempts.

That’s how many times he fought to get his eyes open but found they were sticky and heavy, not wanting him to look around. Finally, though, he forced them open, and almost immediately had to screw them shut again.

He had never thought his cell had been in darkness. Not compared to solitary. But this, wherever he was now, was flooded with light. Warm, inviting, bright light that made some small part of him relax.

“Try again,” the same voice prompted.

Scott managed it on the first go this time. There was no denying it. That was his dad looking back at him. Scott frowned, trying to bring the man into more focus, trying to make sure it wasn’t his eyes playing tricks on him.

“I’m here,” his dad said softly. “I’m right here. You’re okay. It’s a tube, Scott. It’s helping you breathe.”

He tried to say something, but he couldn’t.

“The doctor is on his way. Just lie still for me. It’s going to be okay.”

Scott didn’t know how much time passed. People bustled around him. He recoiled when the doctors tried to remove the tube. He knew, he knew, they were there to help, but as soon as he felt their hands on him, he just couldn’t. Eventually, it was his father gripping his own hand that made him relax enough for them to be able to get it out.

They fitted a small oxygen tube to his nose; adjusted something going into the crook of his arm; spoke words he didn’t fully understand. Medically induced coma. Multiple surgeries. Extended recovery time. Just rest…

No. That last one was his dad again. When the room was blissfully empty, silent of all but that reassuring voice soothing to his ears.

He was so tired. He had no choice but to drift away again.

But sleep wasn’t a respite anymore. It didn’t transport him away from his nightmare, it took him straight back there. No sooner had his breathing started to even out when he jolted away again, gasping, sweating.

“I’m here. I’m here, son.”

Time had lost all meaning to him while he was in that place. But it wasn’t any better now. In this white room with strangers coming and going, drifting in and out of consciousness, hands on him whether he wanted them or not.

And through it all, a hand gripped his own, a voice murmured softly in his ear that it was going to be okay.

Eventually, though, Scott opened his eyes, and kept them open. Something had changed. He didn’t feel the darkness immediately encroaching; didn’t feel the usual surge of panic rush through him.

The pressure on his hand was still there, but there wasn’t an immediate voice. Scott blinked slowly and for what felt like the first time, rolled his head to the side.

He was there. His father. Just as he promised he would be.

The man looked as haggard as when Scott had last seen him, just as drawn and whey. He was sitting in a chair by the bed, hand gripping his son’s, but snoozing.

Scott swallowed, a dry tongue attempting to moisten dry lips. He slowly, carefully, continued to look around the room.

He was in the hospital, that much he’d figured out. They were the only ones in the room, so no doubt a private ward. Soft and rhythmic beeping echoed around him and some distant part of his mind knew it was coming from him, that he was being monitored.

He didn’t hurt as much as he thought he would. As his vision focused better, he saw a line going into his arm and figured that was the reason why. His fingers were splintered, their immobility making him wonder if he’d rebroken them at some point.

He looked down at himself. A cool, white sheet covered his body. He didn’t know what the damage was. Didn’t think he wanted to know.

“You’re awake.” The pressure on his hand shifted as his dad sat up, leaning forward. The concern in his gaze made Scott want to look away. But he couldn’t as a hand gently cupped his cheek.

“You’re awake.” His dad repeated. For a second, Scott wasn’t sure if maybe he was dreaming after all because he was certain there were tears filling the man’s eyes. He’d never seen his dad cry before. But then he blinked and Scott thought maybe it was his blurry vision that had tricked him into thinking that.

“How-,” Scott began, then coughed. “How long?”

“Three weeks,” his dad said. “They thought it best to put you into a coma, carry out as many of the surgeries as they could and give your body a chance to heal before you woke up.”

Scott thought if he felt fuzzy now, it must be nothing compared to how he’d have felt if he remained conscious for the last three weeks. But that hadn’t been what he wanted to know. He shook his head, mutely trying to tell his dad what he really wanted to know.

His father dropped his gaze, staring at the hand clasping Scott’s.

“Six months,” he whispered.

Scott went rigid. Six months he’d spent in that hell. He couldn’t work out if it felt like forever, or only yesterday that they were caught. His hand shifted, aiming towards his throat, wanting to ask. But he didn’t have the strength to complete the movement.

His dad understood though.

“You’ve had several surgeries, Scott.” His voice was steady. “You had a collapsed lung by the time we got you to hospital. After that, they thought it best to help you as much as they could.”

His voice might have been steady, but the grip on his hand betrayed how the man was truly feeling.

Scott could only stare. After the number of times he’d coughed up water, fighting for air in the past… god, the past six months… it was now, once he’d been removed from that place, that his lungs had finally decided enough was enough. But he also wasn’t surprised. He wasn’t sure his ribs had ever fully healed from the first time one had fractured: they’d never been given the chance.

“I called for you,” he whispered. His voice was hoarse, whether through lack of use, misuse, or the fact that he’d had a tube down his throat an hour before, he didn’t know. “I called, and you didn’t come.”

He knew it was irrational. It was nothing short of miraculous his father was here now. How had they found him? What about the rest of his team? Were they safe? Were they alive? He’d clung on to ‘gone’ meaning rescued, but in the indefinite time that had passed between then and now, he was finding it hard to believe.

“I’m sorry.” His dad’s voice was nothing more than a whisper. “I did everything, Scott. Everything I could to find you, and it wasn’t enough. Not until…”

He trailed off. Scott didn’t have the strength to ask. He just blinked slowly, staring around him, trying to take in that it was a hospital. Not some trick; not some figment of his desperate imagination. He was actually in a hospital.

“I wasn’t-,” his voice broke. Hot tears leaked from the corners of his eyes but he didn’t have the strength to brush them away. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to. But a warm, calloused hand was there, cupping his cheek, a gentle thumb wiping at his eyes. Just the way the man had when he was a little boy and had fallen off his bike, trying not to cry in front of the babies, trying to be strong for his father.

“I wasn’t strong enough,” he finally bit out. Maybe his father hadn’t wanted to find him? Scott had been weak. He’d broken. Screamed and begged. Two things that he swore he’d never do. Discussions and practice drills were nothing like hearing a bolt drawn back and knowing they were coming for you again.

“No.” The grip on his face shifted. It wasn’t tight, but commanding. The bed dipped under the weight of another as his dad shifted so that he was sitting next to him, leaning over to look him in the eye without Scott having to move.

“You’ve been so strong. You held on, Scott. You fought-,”

“I didn’t.” How long had it been since he offered even a token resistance when they’d come for him?

But his dad was shaking his head, still maintaining eye contact.

“You fought to stay alive. You fought to protect your team. There are other ways of fighting than just with your fists, son. You’ve been so strong: I’m so proud of you.”

Lips brushed against his forehead, a gesture he couldn’t remember happening for years. Not since before their mother had gone. Maybe once, when his dad had promised him he would step up, allow Scott to become the teenager he was supposed to be and not a parent to four grieving brothers. There was a promise in that kiss. That, more than anything, made Scott believe his dad meant what he was saying.

But how could he know that Scott had fought to protect his team? Unless he was just guessing because the man knew what his son was like? But maybe…

“Jen?” he whispered. He couldn’t bear to say any more. His dad shifted back, creating space between them, but making sure he stayed in his son’s eyeline.

“Is fine,” he said warmly. “So are the other two. Gary and Sienna are safe as well. They’re alive, Scott. They’re okay. And they didn’t give up on their Captain.”

He hadn’t failed. Not completely, anyway. After all of this time, half of his team had managed to make it home.

“How-?”

“Later, Scotty.” His dad smiled at him. “You need to rest now. We’ll talk more when you wake up.”

Scott shook his head. At least, he tried to. But it made the pounding in his skull turning into a crescendo and it was all he could do to stop himself from crying out. He couldn’t face sleep. He couldn’t face going back there, but he also couldn’t stand the idea that this was the dream. If he closed his eyes, what was he going to wake up to?

“It’s okay.” A gentle hand was running through his hair. He used to love the feeling of his parents combing their fingers through his hair. But there was nothing there now, just a coarse stubble.

That confused him. It hadn’t been cut in the prison. It was better for them long: gave them more to grip onto as they forced his head underwater. It was only then that he became aware that he was clean shaven as well. Six months of growth had been cut away. He felt weird without it now: as if that had been some sort of barrier between the man he’d been before being captured, and who he’d become in that hell hole.

“I can’t,” he whispered. The tears were running again. “I can’t, don’t make me, please, don’t make me go back there…”

“Easy.”

An incessant beeping drowned out his father’s words. Deep down, Scott knew that it was something to do with him, and that it would draw attention of whoever else was nearby. He wasn’t supposed to be drawing attention. That’s what he’d told the others: keep their heads down, don’t make the guards look twice.

“I-,”

He couldn’t breathe. Again.

The room started to disappear as he fought for breath, darkness clouding his vision. He scrabbled at the sheets covering him, needing to get away, needing a wall against his back.

He didn’t hear the door open, didn’t hear hurried conversations or see the movement as something was inserted into the IV running into his arm.

All he knew was that the darkness was taking over everything. But it stopped being so cold and frightening. Instead, he focused on the firm grip on his hand, his father’s low, rumbling voice as he spoke words Scott couldn’t make out to someone he couldn’t see.

He wasn’t choking the next time he woke up. But there was no grip on his hand, either. Scott couldn’t bear to open his eyes. He still felt he was lying on something soft, but he couldn’t risk it being a trick.

After a long moment, though, he had to know. If this was some new form of torture, he’d learnt that hiding away from it made no difference. It still found him: it always found him.

He looked around. It was the same room as before. The same lighting. The same medical paraphernalia surrounding him. The same reassuring beeping of monitors that told him he wasn’t alone.

But he was.

There was no one else here with him. The chair by his bed was empty. His father had gone.

Scott bit back the sob that threatened to rise up. He knew it. Knew the man couldn’t face looking at him, knew that he’d let him down…

The door opened.

“Scotty?”

Scott gave a soft gasp, half breath, half sob.

“You weren’t there,” he muttered. A hand covered his own again.

“I’m here,” the voice promised. “I’m right here. I’ll never leave you, Scott. If I’m not in this room, I promise you that I haven’t gone far.”

“I needed you, and you weren’t there.”

He vaguely wondered what noise a monitor made at the sound of his heart breaking. But nothing changed, only a minor hitch in the rhythmic tone as a pair of arms wrapped around him.

For months now, Scott had been letting himself remember happier times with his family. It was the only thing that had kept him sane, although he hadn’t realised that at the time.

But feeling his dad’s strong grip holding onto him, he didn’t just remember.

He let himself be that little boy. His arms were trembling with the effort, but he forced them to rise so he could return the grip, needing to know that his dad had him and he was safe. How long they stayed like that, he had no idea, but was aware of the beeping settling into a steady rhythm. His eyes fluttered shut, safe in his dad’s hold.

Sleep took him again.

No one was touching him when he woke. But he could sense the presence in the room, knew that his dad was sitting right by his side, just like he promised. Then he became aware of a one-sided whispered conversation.

He slowly opened his eyes, rolling his head to one side. His father had a communicator open, talking quickly, albeit quietly. Scott took the chance to just look at the man.

He looked as drawn and haggard as Scott felt. Somehow, he knew the bags under the man’s eyes, his ashen complexion, went back more than a few months. Scott knew how the military worked: they’d have been missing for a while before it was reported to their families, just to make sure they hadn’t simply fallen off the radar and turned back up a week later. He knew his father’s nightmares had started long before Scott had been reported missing.

Had they reported him missing? Or had they told his family he was dead?

Jeff was staring with an unseeing gaze at the wall on the other side of the room. Scott forced himself to listen in to what was being said.

“-soon. He’s not ready.” The man listened to a moment. “Just… talk to them. Say whatever you have to, John. I don’t care how you explain it, just..”

His gaze shifted, and Scott managed a weak smile as his dad looked at him.

“Handle it. He’s awake.”

He snapped his communicator shut and lent forward.

“Scott.” There was so much warmth, so much love, in that one word. Scott could only blink back, his emotions too strong to form proper words. That was not the tone of a man who’d be disappointed in him.

He nodded at the communicator without a word. His dad smiled, albeit a stressed one.

“Your brothers,” he said in a fond, exasperated way. “They…”

He trailed off, shaking his head. “It’s okay. You don’t need to worry about them.”

“Not here?” Scott muttered. Maybe it wasn’t his dad he needed to worry about? All too clearly he could remember the images his mind had shown him: the betrayal and disappointment in his siblings’ expression as he didn’t fight back against the guards coming for him.

“If they could organise themselves, they would be,” his dad said with an eyeroll. “But they all have different ideas of how to get here and-,”

“You said no?”

“Do you know where you are, Scott?”

“Hospital?”

“A military hospital,” his father confirmed. “There’s people here, when you’re ready, who want to speak to you.”

For the first time since awakening in this bed, Scott realised he could once again understand what his father wasn’t saying. Command wanted a debrief, and right now, Jeff Tracy was the only reason they weren’t already in this room.

“They didn’t ask anything,” he muttered. “Not by the end.”

“Scott, it’s okay…”

But it wasn’t. He had to tell someone.

“I don’t know what they wanted,” he murmured. “I don’t know what I did, why they came for me.”

It must’ve been something he’d done that made them keep him behind. If what his father said was true and the rest of his team was safe, why hadn’t they let him go as well? He didn’t remember any ransom note, no video as they tortured him…

“It was me,” his father said heavily. “They kept you because of me. Because they wanted money. Like they could put a price on your life.”

“You… paid?” Scott shook his head. “You shouldn’t have! I’m not worth…”

It didn’t matter what sum they’d asked for. Money gave them the resources to do this to more people, and it’d all be his fault!

“No.” His father’s voice was low, but calm. “I didn’t. If I thought it would have got you back, if I thought it would end this nightmare for you, then yes, I would’ve given them whatever they wanted. Never doubt that. But there were other ways.”

Scott stared at him. “How did you find me?” he asked quietly.

Jeff just smiled at him, repeating his earlier action of cupping his cheek gently.

“It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I did. And, Scott? I’d never stop looking. No matter what I had to do, where I had to go… I’d never stop looking, never stop trying to bring you home.”

Scott held his eye. There was nothing but the truth there. He believed it. His dad wasn’t disappointed in him and didn’t think he was weak. He wanted him back.

“I don’t remember,” Scott said. “I’m assuming you demanded proof of life, but I don’t remember…” He trailed off, shaking his head. He didn’t recall them ever taking a picture, filming him, even recording him.

“It doesn’t matter,” his dad said quickly. “All that matters is that you are alive, and you’re back.”

They sat in silence for a while. Talking was exhausting him. Scott couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a conversation this long.

Just as he felt his eyes drifting shut, another thought occurred to him.

“The boys?”

This entire conversation had started because John had been in touch.

“This isn’t the sort of place I want them,” his dad said, a hint of steel in his voice. “They don’t need to be exposed to the sort of people in charge here.”

Whatever had happened with that ransom, or even how the rest of his team had been saved, Scott had a feeling his father wasn’t exactly happy with the way things had been handled.

“You won’t keep them away,” Scott murmured. “Not if John’s on the case…”

He liked that idea. All of them working together to thwart their dad’s plan of keeping them away.

“Do you want me to keep them away?”

It wasn’t the question he’d expected. More than anything, he wanted to see his family. But like this? Unable to sit up by himself, to see the horror and pity in their eyes, not being able to reassure them that he was okay when he truthfully had no idea what state he was in?

“I-,” he needed them desperately but that didn’t mean he wanted them right now.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to decide that now. They’re still trying to persuade Gordon it’s too far to swim.”

Scott smiled, but it was a shadow of his previous grin. He was just so tired. He didn’t realise he’d drifted until he heard his father whisper for him to get some sleep.

But he’d had enough sleep. Unconsciousness didn’t claim him in the same way, which let his subconsciousness take over…

Screaming.

That was all he could hear. It was all around him. Why wasn’t someone doing something to help, couldn’t they hear that someone was in trouble…

“Scott!” It wasn’t the first time his name had been called. Not captain. Not a number. His name.

The screaming stopped and his thrashing calmed. But his heart was racing, sweat cooling on his skin and making him shiver. He’d been back there: they’d been dragging him to that room again and he couldn’t! He couldn’t do it again, he couldn’t survive this…

“Scotty, look at me. You’re awake. It’s over. You’re okay. You’re in the hospital, remember?”

Scott obeyed. That was all he knew right now. Look. Look at the man calling his name. His dad. His dad was here. Scott remembered: he’d come for him; saved him; got him to safety; promised to not leave his side.

But even as his breathing started to even out, Scott couldn’t say anything.

“Scott?”

He mutely shook his head. It was too much. Talking, even thinking about it, was bringing it back too much. He couldn’t do it.

He drew away, huddling in on himself the best he could given his body didn’t want to obey him. He’d spoken before. They’d had entire conversations. But as part of him started to accept that maybe he was safe, the strict compartments he’d forced his mind into over the last six months started to dissolve.

He hurt from the torture but his dad was here. He was in a safe space but he still couldn’t move. His body craved rest but his mind refused to let go of his new reality.

As the walls he’d built over the last six months started coming down, Scott didn’t dare open his mouth.

He wasn’t sure if he’d just start screaming again.

[bloodiedrogue]

DEPOLLUTE ME, GENTLE ANGEL

SUMMARY: Gale's been hiding behind his pride for far too long. Or at least, Astarion thinks so.

PAIRING: Astarion & Gale

WORD COUNT: 2,053

WARNINGS: Descriptions of decomposition and injuries. Brief mentions of dissociation.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi, this idea has been consuming my brain since I read @ssalballoon's comic about rotting gale. Obviously the concept isn't mine and is heavily inspired by their art, so please give them some love! <3

MASTERLIST

-

Something’s wrong with Gale. 

Often smelling more like a batch of tanned leather than a human wizard, Astarion can’t help but linger at its presence. Despite the way it violently rips through his senses —clouding his vision like a putrid fog of death— the smell is strangely intoxicating. A temptation of sorts, plaguing his thoughts with a powerful sweetness wrapped in rotting flesh. 

It calls to him in ways he doesn’t quite understand. As the days pass, he can feel it clinging to his nose, assaulting his senses each time the wizard draws near. Ripping through him like a bloodied knife reeking of day-old viscera. 

Most days, it’s presence is fickle. Ebbing and flowing like the tides, there are moments in between when he’s able to breathe a sigh of relief and forget the strange desires that sit at the back of his mind. Moments where the air is pure and unalloyed —no longer tainted by whatever shit Gale’s got collecting underneath that wretched bandage of his. Ones where Astarion can breathe without the threat of a fragrant assault each time the wizard passes. Allowing him time to think of himself rather than focusing on the increasing injury that Gale hides in plain sight. 

Because Astarion can tell it’s getting worse. As the days turn to nights and circle back, he can see the subtle changes in Gale’s behaviour. How the wizard’s charm has slowly dampened over time, leaving nothing more but this suppressant version of himself, aimlessly floating from one camp to the next. 

It drives him mad if he’s honest. Watching the way Gale refuses to cook with his hands. Instead choosing to waste his precious Weave to pilot those ridiculous apparitions. Or how he no longer waves his hands like a man gone mad each time he speaks. It’s depressing really, seeing him swiftly wither away. Witnessing the downfall of his autonomy each time he struggles to hold his staff during battle. 

Even conversations with him have changed. Once resembling an elegant show of vast grandeur, talking to him has become nothing more than some menial task. A boring back and forth lacking that past boisterous quality of wit. 

Astarion knows it’s because he’s exhausted. Slowly rotting from the inside out will do that to you, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. Especially because he’s become embarrassingly reliant on the bastard. Not that he would never admit it out loud but the man’s become somewhat of a constant in his daily routine. A moment in time he stupidly looks forward to each time they both find themselves awake before everyone else. 

Considering neither of them sleep, over the weeks it’s become a constant to greet each other before breakfast. To simultaneously wander out of their respective tents when the sun comes up, stretching their aches and pains away before meeting by the snuffed-out fire. Usually, Gale will greet him like an old friend, his tone cheery or playful, while Astarion merely nods and grumbles his way back to consciousness, eventually giving in to whatever conversation the wizard’s decided to focus his energy on.

It sounds preposterous given the circumstances but he enjoys the company. More so than he probably should, he thinks. Which makes the decreasing energy of his friend’s soul all the more painful to watch.

And to smell. Especially now that they’ve returned from battle, caked in the blood of their enemies —coated in dirt and sweat. All of it mixing together to create a cocktail-induced headache Astarion has to pretend not to notice.

Clearing a lump in his throat, as soon as they’re back he rushes for the lake just South of their campsite. Paying no mind to the rest of the party who follow leisurely behind, he quickly takes a deep breath to try and calm himself down. Sucking the tainted air as he closes his eyes, he pauses to allow it to filter through his lungs, counting each second spent struggling to maintain any sort of composure before he inevitably lets out it. 

With just an inhalation or two he can tell Gale’s only a few feet back, moving slower than usual. Most likely sitting at the tail-end of the pack in order to push through the pain of his injury.

As they continue walking to their shared destination, Astarion can’t help but pity the poor fool, knowing how difficult it must be to move after all that excitement. Considering throughout their encounter he could see him struggling, it’s a miracle he’s still upright. Having spent the majority of the fight using his staff more like an anchor than a weapon, Astarion could feel the irritability of everything coursing through his veins —rushing through him alongside the adrenaline of battle.

It quickly became obvious he shouldn’t have been there in the first place. What with him whiffing every other shot and defiantly going against Tav’s orders. Having him around had become nothing short of a liability. And based on how hard he’d managed to push himself, he knew it too. 

Which is why he refuses to stop, even now as they make it to the water’s edge and begin stripping down to wash away past thoughts and actions. Instead of acknowledging his need for help he merely continues to ignore the issue, walking down to the furthest point of the lake so that he can hope to slip away unnoticed. 

Immediately going against such an idea, Astarion follows behind, keeping just enough distance so that he can remain undetected as he watches the wizard struggle to lower himself to the rocks below. Staring at the way his hands shake with the kind of violent energy Astarion’s far too familiar with.

Frowning at the memory of having to dig himself from his own grave centuries before, he can still feel the rupture of his knuckles against the dirt. How they cracked under the pressure of his desperation, threatening to break just like Gale’s now seem to do. 

Remembering the irritation of the filth beneath his nails, Astarion can’t help but flex his digits at the same time Gale swipes his good hand across his face. Watching how the frustrated features disappear behind his fingers before returning with exhaustion.

A sight that immediately makes Astarion frown. A sort of sadness filling up his chest at the image of his friend struggling to maintain whatever semblance of strength he has left. Sympathy latching onto his bones in the form of cautious steps that force him from his hiding spot. 

“You look like you could use a hand.” 

Before he can even think to stop his offer, Astarion moves to the wizard’s side, acting as if the smell doesn’t bother him. Pretending like the scent of the stained cloth that coats the lower half of his arm doesn’t remind him of a festering corpse splitting open to reveal spoiled organs.

“Care to lend an arm as well?”

Unfortunately, Gale's joke falls flat. Not necessarily because of the material but because of the tone. Its lack of joy hitting Astarion’s ears in a way that furthers the ache. Forcing him to kneel in front of his friend with a sigh. “You know you’re starting to worry the others.” 

“Am I?” 

Ignoring the question, Astarion’s fingers gently inch towards the top of Gale’s dressings, searching for an opening —twitching reluctantly against the sweaty fabric as they continue to sit in silence. Neither one of them able to speak out of fear of revealing too much. 

Which only increases the pain inside Astarion’s chest. Like a knife, it pushes through his lungs, creating deep craters for the rotten scent to penetrate —holes the size of Gale’s hands that now rest limply against his lap.

Peeling away the soiled cloth, Astarion holds his breath while Gale lets out his. Both of their minds struggling not to veer off course as the bandage is torn away, revealing sick skin. Showing them both the polluted flesh that wraps around broken-down muscle and bone. 

“You reek, you know. Of... whatever this is.”

All Gale does is hum as he reaches into the pocket of his robes, prompting Astarion to narrow his eyes until there’s a fresh set of bandages placed in front of him. Then he merely grabs them and begins to work, slowly unravelling them as he looks at Gale’s expression, noting the slight blush across his cheeks. How his eyes grow heavier with each passing moment they spend together. 

“You should really consider finding a cure,” he says. “For my sake, obviously.” 

Grinning then, Astarion expects some sort of quip, but again, all he’s met with is silence. The continued absence of Gale’s wit refusing to acknowledge the obvious. Most likely rejecting the idea that for once the vampire’s making sense. 

A fact that fills Astarion with annoyance, knowing the pride Gale feels is something he deeply relates to. How every day he’s met with the struggle of asking for help versus manipulating it out. Each moment he spends with any one of his companions he has to resist the urge to beg for their assistance. To ignore the desire to drop to his knees and cry for a forgiveness none of them are aware of in hopes of earning their aid. 

It’s the same reason why he’s currently helping Gale. Why, instead of granting the wizard time to brood by his lonesome he’s instead inserting himself into his space. Taking it upon himself to woo and distract —making it seem like it’s merely just kindness. 

It's what he always does, despite the reluctance that sits at the back of his mind. How he earns the trust of all the people he encounters. Similar to Gale, he uses his pride to his advantage, showing it off to anyone who will see it. Producing it as if it were a mask instead of the blade that constantly nicks his skin each time he weaponizes it. 

Always hiding behind its decorative design, Astarion allows his confidence to do the talking. To earn their trust as they continue towards their common goal despite knowing that it’s wrong. 

“Apologies for the burden I’ve become as of late.” 

Too engrossed in thought, Astarion nearly misses Gale’s apology. Focusing on their shared advantages, his voice is faint at first, barely hitting his ears as his fingers absentmindedly work around his arm. Echoing in the back of his mind over and over again until it’s clear as day, forcing him to look up. 

His eyes are distant in a way that breaks the vampire’s heart. Shattering on impact, he has to swallow down the shards that try to escape, feeling them slice across his esophagus as he tries his best to ignore the sting of Gale’s expression. How it grows in both distance and familiarity the longer the two of them stay.

“You wouldn’t be a burden if you set your pride aside for once.” 

Gale huffs and then blinks, returning all at once. His moment of absence becoming nothing more than a memory that both of them will eventually forget. “You’re one to talk, aren’t you?”

Astarion lets out a single ha —one filled with total falseness. “You and I are nothing alike, wizard,” he then lies, even though Gale’s right. 

Far too often he sees himself within him. Lurking in the strangest of places, it’s as if Gale’s behaviours often mirror his own. Always reminding him of his motivations —prompting him to question why he does what he does as he’s forced to stare at these distorted images. Ones that look familiar but somewhat changed to better suit the wizard’s needs.

“Perhaps… perhaps not. I suppose it depends on the finer details.” 

This time, Astarion’s the one to remain silent. Opting to ignore the tightness in his chest that presents itself to turn his attention to the bandage now fully wrapped around Gale’s arm, allowing his fingers to trail down his wrist to grab his hand. 

“Well, for the right amount of coin I’m sure there’s a decent healer in Baldur’s Gate who could help you,” he says, once again smelling that scent. Feeling it rush through his nose like a rapid river of disgust, forcing him to clear his throat and mind as he raises the wizard’s knuckles to his lips before leaving without another word.

-

@poohxlove @gaiasmight @sassy-stupid @novarex @v-gremlin @sapphiccloud @lipstickghoulie @kuroitsukyo@jjfchk@idiotsatan@bluestuesday@bloopthebat@art-by-greenie@heneralmoon@sukunababe@dreamingaboutyousworld@ranfithegood@haniscrying@liadamerondjarin@the-lake-is-calling@marina-and-the-memes@rookieoftheyear@zraloci-cpr@kaetmo@snickerdoodle-daydream@wowowwild@d1anna@raswiet@conniesbbymama@venus-wrts@demonicthorns@kihten@deadglamsheep@sanscas@spammypasta@leighsartworks216@rose-gold-blue@p1ssmagg0t@hellish-writes@ghostinvenus@otayz@sexysquatch@sleepyeclair@colorful-anxieties@alina-exe@ilana-the-lasagna@lillifer@girlwiththepapatattoo@y2cade@acelin-ginsberg@pinkuranium@catrad0rable@scarletrosesposts@qwnamidala@itsrosebabe@bunnyperi@queenofcarrotflowers-s@tatumadams20@spkyxszn@chlort@f3v3rs@awkwardwookie@joy-the-reader@warm-milk-with-honey-blog@vertigocrime@iyis@wildpiper@pebblethestone@tillywasneverhere@bex-03@kaetmo@revemiya@staticspouse@itzagothamcitysiren@djarinsmixtape@when-the-night-came@epicy0n@bababahannah@sleepyred1703@lotus-99@lofcompass@r4d10h34d5@vampninjaz@itsmekalou@offbrandhand@yikes-buddy@konenichi@rainonarden@oceanbluesixeyes@bodtyworship@maydayitsjay@greasyslimebucket@yeeteth-the-raven@fantasyfairysworld@allexthakatt@flowersaretheshit@morglyne@thespectacularspaceace@cephiss0@use-your-telescope@furblrwurblr@kloverfield@angelofthorr@writervaul-t@starved-kitten@minixluvr@crowley--aziraphale@sapphicwren@alionera-blog@jennithejester@dezedrol@thisisew@saladalpaca@applepiewithbacon@httpbiohazard@aurasyn@nerdoodles@kingpinthedevil@itzkawaiix@domainoflostsouls@silverskylan@uminootome@helpidkwhatimdoingwrong@deadlyinfernos@blackbirdswhispers@sarahskywalker-amadala@writingmysanity@f3v3rs@jayjones03@quietlyebbie@optimisticprime3@eyes-for-daze@sunnytalia3@megoshh@maddiedott@cappsikle@mostbeautifulnightmare@lynnlovesloki@simpytheshrimpy69@astarion-archive@smaranshakthi@autistic-deer@shadowfeart@freckled-petals@candied-lavender@hp-art-studio@ghouligan@satelliteapotheosis@waywardwitch-hel@pandimoostuff@mythoughtsofinsanity@ilovelovelylove@oneandonlyizabelle

TAGLIST NOW CLOSED!

[morallygreyintrovert]

In todays episode of scenes that weren’t in supernatural but totally should of been:

Cas, Dean and Benny are stumbling through purgatory and Dean is hungry so he sees this random plant and he thinks what the hell beggars can’t be choosers and before Benny can stop him, he eats it not knowing it’s a hallucinogenic plant and Benny always up for a good time is like fuck it and decides to join Dean on his trip and Cas not willing to be outdone by the vampire, takes a hit too and the three of join consciousnesses and in a drug induced dream state Cas and Benny have a fully choreographed sing off to ‘the boy is mine’ by brandy and Monica

And Dean is just sat watching the dirt covered, sweat glistening men fight over him and is like there’s just something about purgatory??? It’s so pure and freeing??? hmm It must be all the killing, totally not being the middle of an angel and vampire sandwich

Should I be writing and not shit posting?? Yes, yes I should

[hearted-anon]

Hadal blacksite: An AU.

Words:1297

Note: @minnielvrr @itzsana-kiddingmenow

T/w: mentions of violence, gore, blood, death.

Lee: .--. .-. . ... ... ..- .-. .

Ler: -... -.-- / .-. --- -... .-.. --- -..-

Subject 251: Success. The green letters were painted onto the enclosure, as the sounds of banging glass ensued. Dark brown hair that nearly covered his eyes with a pure pale white skin covering his body, wrapped up in a thick fabric that prevented his power from taking place. Cries and wails echoed throughout the facility, you could faintly hear the sounds of concrete melting in the background. Leave it alone.

Subject 811: A somewhat success. The creature doesn’t like exiting his enclosure, preferring to keep to himself as a black ink spreads throughout, enshrouding him and the area into darkness. Guards who enter are to wear night vision goggles at all times, those who do not heed will pay the price of their life. An ear piercing scream sounds as light peeked through the exit of his enclosure, before two large tentacles slammed any guards in a nearby radius, velvet blood dripping onto the walls. Proceed with caution.

Subject 159: Success. The creature appears to be more soft hearted, and doesn’t cause any harm less provoked by guards. Its blonde hair and pure blue eyes give it an innocent appearance, but do not be fooled. Proceed into enclosure with a gas mask and company, never enter said area alone and without any protection. The heavy green gas it produces is highly poisonous and can induce multiple side effects such as loss of consciousness, anxiety or drowsiness. Do not provoke.

Subject 149: Huge success. It obeys orders without a fight, but guards are to always wear a blindfold or night vision goggles when entering. The creature tends to become ‘bored’ of its enclosure quickly, and soon you will be its next toy. It enjoys playing with its prey, paralysing them in place with its hypnotic gaze; ripping them apart limb by limb ever so carefully with almost sadistic intentions. The creature is to be immobilised whenever a guard enters, and never alone. Stock up on entertainment.

Subject 28: A near fail. Do not ever enter the enclosure, even with protection and guards. The purple-black liquid it produces is highly dangerous, and a slight change in the creature’s mood could take out at least a quarter of our stock; even if it is locked away. It gets along with subject 811 very well, they tend to mingle together in the darkness; you can hear the sounds of static and unintelligible language as they communicate with each other. Do not try to disrupt them, lest you feel the need to lose your life today. The creature doesn’t like to be alone, and tends to get into a very…sour mood when he is. To proceed with much caution when this happens, as it can and will eliminate you in seconds, suffocating you in the sticky void-like goo. Schedule daily meetups with subject 811.

Subject 203: Fail. Originally, It was meant to have the DNA of an angler fish, but the creature had ended up denying said DNA and instead refused to transform. We had afterwards injected the DNA of , ███████, a blue whale, a great white shark, a silver spiny fin, a mantis shrimp and a sea snake. It had turned out subject 203 had only taken a delayed amount of time to absorb in the samples of the sea creatures. It caused the creature to undergo a painful transformation, giving him three enlarged arms, the extra on its bottom right, along with a long shark tail. Its skin had turned a pale blue, and when nearby humans, its gills and angler lure would twitch in agitation; its hatred for humans runs deep into its veins. It's sleek, long and luscious black hair and baby blue siren-like eyes are just a ploy to lure you in, never fall for it. Stay clear unless with protection.

Subject 310: Somewhat successful. It tends to follow guards around, and is quite the passive creature. In the late hours of the night, you can hear its obnoxiously loud, yet contagious giggles roaming through the halls, stalking your every move. Should you be up too late, whispers fill your ears, coaxing you to head to bed soon; almost as if it was acting like a concerned care taker for you. Still, if you refuse to listen, the ghost comes to life, dragging you away and up into your room whether you like it or not. It stays outside quietly, shoving you back into bed when you try to get up even by an inch; sticking around till you fall asleep. However, as passive as it is, when other subjects are provoked, it tends to come into an overprotective, enraged state, killing anyone who dares to hurt the other enclosures, like a caring father. Assign a certain subject to it.

Subject 229: Successful, but at a cost. Subject 229 is made of multiple fishes combined together, allowing his arms to be larger than an average human by at least two times. The creature takes home in the vents, and claws or chokes anyone against the metal surface should they try to get it down from the system. Contrary to popular belief of workers here, it actually doesn’t disrupt the flow of ventilation in the systems, thus it has been allowed to stay in its newfound ‘enclosure’. However, should you find one of the doors that you had walked into suddenly blank out or its number makes a disappearance, CALL THE OTHER GUARDS IMMEDIATELY. But if you find yourself without reception, or without a nearby communication device, you have resigned your fate. It has found you, and you will be its prey. Keep a close watch over at all times over the cameras.

25/3/3125.

The lights flickered harshly, doors slamming shut as alarms wailed throughout the entire facility. It had gone into code red lockdown. Subject 28 had managed to sneak itself into the electrical room, deactivating everything in the facility with its goo. The sounds of metal doors opening sounded, fresh air cooling its surroundings as the subjects were let loose. The ‘hour of joy’, a reference to a game as someone would call it, occurred at that very moment. Guards were disappearing left and right, paralysing in a dark hallway before melting into the walls, sunken into the dark before being consumed by the void; no one could hear their screams.

Only one subject tried their best to calm the killer rampage, subject 310. It floated around the halls, desperately trying to cool the rest of them off, to no avail. The hour passed by as quick as it arrived, the entire facility coated in red, thick blood; no one had survived at all, torn to shreds or their body mysteriously disappearing. The subjects grouped together, huddled in a bundle, almost scared. They shivered, they wailed, wailed for their family back, they knew they weren’t going back. After a long comforting and empathising session by subject 310, the group settled on finding their documents, how long had they been cooped up here?

Opening the files they had earned, their eyes widened. 20 years. They had lost 20 years of their lives being here, being some kind of plaything and having to succumb to their fate. Despite this, they had no energy to even be angry, passing out on the cold metal ground. Subject 310 sighed, reading through their files to get to know them better, even going so far as to memorise all their names. Maybe it could lead these poor kids, running a hand through subject 811’s hair, smiling fondly at how its tentacles twitched in happiness.

It would have to reprimand the rest later for their reckless actions, but who was he to blame? They, it- no, he, had finally earned their righteous freedom, and formed the start of a lifelong bond.