#indeed it is a hippo

[fastofthekillones]

22

I'm just going to pin this post and use it to find weird tags that I have inexplicably written on something, mostly for my own gratification, but if any of you wonderful weirdos wanna look, feel free

[bunjywunjy]

one time a wild rabbit dug a burrow in our shed and had a litter of babies in it. unfortunately, that was also the territory of one particularly bad-tempered, bird feeder-raiding chipmunk which my older brother semi-affectionately nicknamed "Kratos". he broke into the burrow while the mother was away foraging and chewed off all the baby bunnies' heads and tossed them out of the den and claimed the burrow as his own, and when the mother rabbit came back he mauled her severely and sent her running. apparently her injuries were so severe since we found the mother rabbit dead under the porch a few days later, with festering infected wounds on her face. chipmunks are terrifying and if they were as big as capybaras they'd probably be even deadlier than hippos

jesus. god of war, indeed

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Hey, psst. Want to hear about one of my more meaningless pet peeves?

You know the Moomins, right? A few years ago the answer might've been no, but after the popularity of Moominvalley (2019) the Moomin franchise seems to have gained popularity outside of Europe and Japan. In any case, Moomins follows the adventures of hippo-like "trolls" in book, comic, TV show and movie form, animated, stop motion and live action alike. One of my very favourite characters from the Moomins is Edward the Booble.

(First image from here, the rest pulled from the episode Adventures of Moominpappa: Part 1)

My first introduction to him was in the animated Moomin (1990) series, and wow!!! What a creature, I'm sure you can assume why I immediately took a liking! A gigantic, reptilian beast, magnificently suited for aquatic living with his long body and finned tail! In this series it's even implied that he might be a dragon or related to dragons (this is not a feature of other Moomin series or books though) which made him infinitely cooler to me. Despite being the second largest creature on Earth he's always described to be a very friendly guy, if he ever steps on a person by accident he always pays for the funeral costs, they say.

Edward has other interpretations of himself, naturally, given the long lifespan of the Moomins as a franchise and the fact that he made his actual debut in the book Moominpappa's Memoirs. This is him as illustrated in the book:

(Image from here)

In the stop motion show The Moomins (1977) he looks like this:

(Image from The Moomins episode Edward the Booble)

The comics take perhaps the greatest divergence, as in those he looks like this:

(Image taken from here)

...Still pretty similar, usually.

Fortunately for me, despite his rather few appearances in any Moomin property, he gets his own spotlight in the Moomin World park! ...There's a theme park, by the way. Two parks, one in Naantali, Finland, one in Hanno, Japan. I'm talking about the Naantali park in this case, a place I've gone to significantly more than the average person. ^^' As you saw, certain characters (and places) look extremely different interpretation to interpretation, so Moomin World most closely sticks to the 90's animated show if there's any conflicting designs. This is Edward at the park, he floats near the Moomins' "bathing hut":

(Image from here)

Now look at that! Naturally they couldn't have made him a gigantic looming beast, but this is really darn close to how he is in the 90's series. He looks a lot like a long-necked dinosaur, I really enjoy his individually molded scales and hair strands, and his sort of claylike texture. It makes him look like he was brought into the real world straight from a cartoon: a look that's just right for the Moomin World! Just look at his face!!!

(Image from here)

A real big sweetie!!!! He's obviously fake, yet he feels real anyway. It's the way that he's shaped so naturally, how his raised neck and tail and arched back create a shape that flows from body part to part. It’s the way each part of him is textured, even in the parts of him where he lacks scales there’s a subtle unevenness to his surface, and certain features are raised. Despite being a purple yellow-haired reptilian creature he's very much like a real animal! All in all an excellent adaptation.

“Wait,” you might be thinking. “This is all good things. You like the Edward at the park. Where’s the pet peeve?”

You’d be quite right! All of this is indeed well and good, but that’s because I’ve withheld one crucial detail.

That is not Edward the Booble at the Moomin Park.

Not anymore. He was replaced some time ago, with an all new design.

Currently, Edward looks like this:

(Top image from here, bottom image from here)

......

What in the world. Do you see that??? Edward looks like his spine was mangled. I presented you with several different versions of Edward before so you could compare: does he look like any of his adaptations? Certainly not. He has never been a sea serpent!! Nevermind this ridiculously long snake torso, he's always depicted as having a long neck and tail but a normal, plump body. See those things shittily painted on his side? Those are fins! When did he ever have fins!!!?????

All of those wonderful sculpted scales have been replaced with an all smooth surface. His body's surface texture is instead communicated through paint. I do think the paint job is quite pretty as his colouration gets some variation (reminds me of a story book illustration, likely they were going for that look), but see how much the light reflects off of his plastic surface? When his scales were actually there, you'd see their shadows, but now that they went for an all smooth design he looks cheap, like any other theme park plastic statue out there. He looks factory-made. It makes his newly added fins appear like an afterthought, nevermind his hair that shifts from three-dimensional to painted on halfway down his neck. I suppose they just didn't feel like painting his hair all the way down his back like it is in Moomin...

I suppose his quizzical look is pretty cute, but yeeeouch that neck!!!! It has that weird bend right in the middle, and it's so skinny and short compared to his body. It widens so much at the bottom, he's like a watering can, man! His head is far too small and a real weird shape, though I can't put my finger on it. Perhaps his weird bulging teeth? They're awfully big in his mouth when previously they were more in proportion.

They insisted on this weird long noodle body and yet he doesn't even flow nicely anymore. There's an awkward hump between the neck and the body, and at the end of his body where logically his form would rise up, it instead straightens out for a bit, then his tail raises.

Now, obviously this is extremely minor in the grand scheme of things. I seldom bother myself with thoughts of the new Edward the Booble — only now did I get the idea of making a Tumblr post about this, lmao. This is just another case of “man, now why would they do that >:(“ rather than anything big. Because, really… man, now why would they do that!! Had a perfectly good Booble before. Perfect down to every last detail. Now he’s been replaced by some imposter! >:(

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

The Birdcage

Jurassic Park: It's Ironic, by Meig of A-Dinosaur-A-Day

What follows is a retelling of the Jurassic Park story, mainly based on the 1993 film, with portions of the original novel used to supplement the story. The main point of divergence occurs when the park is unable to find workable nonavian dinosaur genetic material for cloning, since - as in the real world - dna degrades much too rapidly. Instead, the park consists only of extinct dinosaurs that can be brought back - birds from the last 2.5 million years. What happens after that is, as Ian Malcolm would say, an emerging pattern.

Thanks to beta readers @plokool, @killdeercheer, and @otussketching! Thanks to logo artist @i-draws-dinosaurs for the killer logo! Happy 30th anniversary of the Jurassic Park film!

Fic Chapter Masterpost

Prologue: The Peck of the Raptor

Robert Muldoon had seen much in his forty-odd years on planet earth. A pride of lions tearing into the carcass of a giraffe. An elephant kicking an African leopard into the air. A swarm of hyenas attempting to hunt the wildebeest, only to flee in panic from their hooves. Nile Crocodiles and Hippos fighting over river space, with no obvious winners. Wild dogs hunting him, with coordination and planning he wouldn’t have believed if he hadn’t seen it for himself. Indeed, if someone were to have asked Robert Muldoon if he had seen everything nature had to offer, he would be tempted to say yes.

At least, until today.  

It was a simple transfer operation. Take the new asset from the hatchery complex to their permanent enclosure. Introduce them to their new flock members. Try to not drown in the torrential rain, to hear each other over the violent wind. Remember that humans are warm-blooded and no matter how much the rain soaked to the bone, warmth would return. Go home in time for dinner.

The thought now, of course, made Muldoon snort out loud, though of course no one could hear him. Flock was the moniker the higher-ups had chosen, ages ago, but he knew flocks. This was no flock. Better, really, to call this grouping a pack. Not that it mattered. After this, Muldoon was certain of his course of action.

He had to recommend termination.

Everything had happened so fast. The loud calls of the other assets, anxious for their flock member far away. The container, raised to the pen entrance. Locked in, safety verified. The animal was silent, but they usually were during transfer. Muldoon had chalked it up to fear or hesitancy, though it was odd that it wasn’t calling back to the others. All workers were in their proper positions, so he called for the gate to be raised. And then, before he could register any of it, the asset had rocked against the container, shaking it loose. It managed to reach out, grab onto Jophery’s hand – the scream chilled Muldoon down to the marrow – and suddenly there was no more Jophery, apart from his second hand, grabbing for dear life to the side of the container. On instinct, Muldoon grabbed his hand, and pulled as hard as he could. Jophrey was still screaming, the other workers were shouting and scampering, alarms were blaring from the cage, a gun or two going off pointlessly. The asset, still, remained silent. It didn’t even bite, or claw, or crunch, or tear.

All it had to do was peck – at the temporal artery

Peck again – at the leg – near the femoral –

Peck again – on the neck – blood was everywhere –

A final peck, Muldoon couldn’t even see where, there were feathers and limbs and blood and screams and –

Jophery went still.

Only a few more seconds, and the asset was also down, multiple tranq darts sticking out of various places. Muldoon hadn’t even had a chance to insist on lethal ammunition, but there was no point now. The asset was neutralized. No one was in immediate danger. The alarms were still blaring, and Muldoon was starting to lose his hearing from it, as loud as it was in his ears. But he couldn’t undo Jophery’s grip – it had been so strong; it didn’t even need rigor mortis to lock in – and he found that the slippery blood oozing from Jophery’s neck and face down the arm weren’t helping matters. But Muldoon had been hired for this position for a reason – a few, actually – and he managed to take a deep breath, grit his teeth, and remove the hand from his.

Now he was walking, slowly, to his employer’s office, tracking mud and rain and blood down the hall with him. People were running, talking in hushed whispers, angrily arguing. He didn’t much care for these lab rats who never entered the tropical sun, never mind interacted with the very things they were working on. Even now, when their concerns should be one and the same, he heard mentions of rehabilitation, modification, and genetic integrity – worries from individuals who did not have blood on their hands refusing to dry in the humid air. So antiseptic they had removed their own humanity.

Muldoon couldn’t wait any longer. The image of Jophrey’s clouded eyes hung in his mind as he shouted into the hallway.

“HAMMOND.”

Ray Arnold stuck his head out from the control room, eyebrows raised over the rims of his glasses. “Hammond isn’t here. Shouldn’t you be getting cleaned up?”

“We have to shut it down.”

Arnold sighed, “You know he won’t do that, Robert.”

“This is the third worker.”

“Yes, but –“

“Third. If you think officials across the water will ignore it at this point, you’re out of your god-damned mind.”

“People die on construction projects, Rob. All the time, in fact.”

“Their corpses don’t usually come back littered with peck marks.”

“We’ve managed all crises up to this point. Hammond insists on moving forward with this asset.”

“All because his impossible pet project didn’t work out, we have to insist on these uncooperative, murder-minded –“

“They’re no more murder minded than a lion or a wolf.”

“Says someone who has never interacted with any of them.”

Arnold sighed, fidgeting with his tie. Muldoon had moved to face him directly, but Arnold continued to look at his computer screen, the lines of code reflected in his glasses.

“I’ll talk to Hammond. If we can’t even get them in the enclosure, maybe it is time to pull the plug.”

“Finally,” Muldoon spat out, “Thank you.”

“Uh-huh.” But Arnold was already back at his computer, not even facing his torso towards Muldoon. So Robert turned and walked back, through the hallway, muddy bloody footprints showing his short journey down the hall and back.

It was time to call up another family.

[adoriels-tears-if]

Imagining someone with a giraffe, rhino, hippo, or another such creature as a familiar. No need for magic when u got straight hands

Haha yes indeed some Familiars by themselves can be quite a deterrent.

Especially since Familiars tend to be more massive than their lambda counterparts.

However, I'd like to point out that to accommodate their Familiars, Hearts often settle where their Souls is most at ease.

So you're not likely to come across a giraffe in Northview, for example. The only place where it's a bit of a menagerie is at the academy. There, the climate varies for all beings according to their preference.

[strwbrryh00n]

The First Kiss — (엔히아픈)

syp ꕀ the enhypen members are your boyfriends and you guys decided to kiss eachother for the first time

characters ꕀ jungwon, heesung, jaeyun, sunghoon, sunoo, jay, and niki

context ꕀ first kiss, gn!reader, (black writer, some things may sound a likkle weird), jake gets physical (no smut), dancer!niki, fluff, jay has an obsession with stealing your food, ice skater!sunghoon, affectionate!sunoo, (if i’m missing some, let me know✨)

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

JUNGWON. ݁₊ ⊹.ᐟ

“I love you so much!” jungwon giggled, corners of his mouth nearly touching his ears.

you and jungwon were walking out the doors of a fancy restaurant that shined with lights and embraced a chill vibe. jungwon thought it would be cute to take you out on a date and enjoy your sweet presence. your hand was interlocked with his as both of you shared heat in the cold.

“I love you too wonnie!” you cooed, putting your head on his shoulder.

jungwon footsteps became slower and you followed along with him—your heart slightly speeding up in your chest as you felt a different vibe from this moment. he bites the inner muscle of his lip, his dimples poke out and his eyes meet the ground.

“would right now… be a perfect time?”

his boba eyes stared into your face and your hands begin to sweat, a slight noise erupts from your throat as you swallowed nothing but air. your head nodded a ‘yes’ uncontrollably and the gap between the lips of two lovers was sealed. it was cute, sweet, and you tasted a faint red velvety flavor from his tongue.

“we should have done this more sooner” he grinned, giving you a quick peck before moving his feet towards the vehicle that takes you guys home.

HEESUNG. ݁₊ ⊹.ᐟ

heesung was standing behind you at the ‘wheel of fortune’ game at dave & busters and his smile beams when you land on ‘M 1000’.

you jumped up and down like a big kid, gathering all of your tickets putting them in a bag that heesung brought for you to carry.

“what game do you wanna play now?”

“i don’t know… which one?” you questioned, your pointer finger on your lip as you turn every which way to find a game of your interest.

“it’s your birthday love, whichever you want.”

in the process of him saying that you found a game of your choice. you began to speed walk towards ‘hungry hungry hippo’ and heesung followed you with no big deal. he places the bag of tickets down next to him as he sits on the hippo with you, placing his card against the scanner.

you both began to laugh and giggle when you guys fight against each other to catch as many balls as you can in the hippos territory. the game had ended and the results—heesung won and you didn’t but that didn’t matter because you had also won something else.

“babe come here” he gestures you with his hand out.

you grabbed his hand and he sped walk to a location you wasn’t familiar with. it was a dark room and you could smell the faint scent of a strawberry shortcake, which was indeed your favorite.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” everyone shouts, lights turning on and your heart jumps out of your chest followed by a scream that had eveyone in the arcade look at you funny.

you felt a pair of hands on your cheeks, guding your face towards another direction away from the people. your lips being attached to none other than heesung and you suddenly forgot that people were in the room.

“WE reserved this room for EATING.” jay announced, cutting you two out of your, what you’d like to call, “daydream”

you and heesung giggled, as he gives you a quick peck on your forehead.

“happy birthday love”

JAEYUN. ݁₊ ⊹.ᐟ

it was series sunday and you were cuddled up on the couch with jaeyun watching a series ‘outer banks’ while stuffing your throats with delicious snacks.

in the meantime you started to get sleepy and you kept falling in and out. jaeyun noticed and he puts your head on his shoulder, watching the show for you and himself.

“do you want me to tell you what happened after you wake up?” he offered, putting his head on yours.

you shook your head ‘no’ readjusting your body to a better postion to take a nap. your head now on his thighs and your body curved like a fetus, his fingers massaging your head in soft circular motions. your body buzzing with peacefulness.

his touch so warm, makes your body fuzzy you had the urge to kiss him. you guys have been dating for 3 months what could go wrong?

“kiss me” you ordered. jaeyun looked down with his glasses slightly falling down his nose bridge.

“where is this energy coming from?” he says with a slight smile on his face.

“nowhere. i just feel like right now is a good time to try something new”

you sat back up, staring at jaeyun’s tinted red lips and went in for a kiss. his mouth soft, you followed along his movements head tilting opposite of eachother and hands around his neck, his weight pushed your back towards the couch pillows. slight breaths escaped your lips, fogging up his glasses he took them off and kissed you deeper with his body on top of you.

you pulled away, searching for air as you felt your lung capacity fill up with overwhelming joy.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” jaeyun apologized, removing his body from above you.

you laid still, shocked as for what just happened and why you did it. you don’t regret what you did and you want more but you believe that kissed proved enough for you.

“you kissed me so good i just… got a bit too ahead of myself”

SUNGHOON. ݁₊ ⊹.ᐟ

“i’m a horrible ice skater” you said as sunghoon was tying up your skates.

“you’re with me you’re going to be okay, i promise. just remember the basics in what i told you. bend your knees, duck walk, and lean forward a little”

you gave sunghoon a stare that stated your fear for the ice. you hated ice skating but you thought going ice skating with your boyfriend wasn’t a bad idea and with that he stands up, holding out his hand.

you grab onto his hand, walking on the carpet floor before sunghoon stepped his foot out the glass door onto the solid ice. his stance was stable and he slightly tugged you onto the ice, it was a gesture of ‘i got you’

feet touching the solid ice you let out a muffled scream when you felt yourself jerk back from how slippery the floor was. sunghoon holding you tight against him, making sure he didn’t break your safety trust.

“remember the things i taught you” his voice calming your anxiety. you unlatched yourself from his tight safety grip and bent your knees, leaned forward, and took small steps one by one.

“there you go. look at you getting it!”

you slightly smile at his words. his presence making a huge difference for you, leading you to finally give trust in yourself to go on your own.

“i got it from here!”

“you sure?”

you nodded, keeping your hands out infront of you duck paddling your way around the rink. you saw sunghoon following behind you, making sure whatever happened he was going to be there to support you.

sunghoon grabbed your hands and skated backwards, dragging you along with him. his stroll on the floor matched the beat of the music playing on the loud speaker and you tried to catch up with his pace but it was too difficult.

sunghoon brushed his slightly red nose against yours, distracting you from the movement and redirecting your attention to the moment. you held his hand with grace and love, feeling warm inside.

pressing a kiss to his lips his skates still strolling acorss the ice, he had no intentions of letting you go even while you guys were sharing love within the lips.

pulling away, you both bumped foreheads and suddenly your fear from the ice disappeared and turned into a smile as you a skate across the ice with sunghoon.

SUNOO. ݁₊ ⊹.ᐟ

sunoo is such an affectionate person, he is always willing to do anything regarding love and you were so down for it.

you and sunoo were at a flower garden, dressed up with soft clothing for the occasion. so many flowers were out on the grass and you didn’t know which one to look at.

“wanna play a game?” sunoo questioned, his attention still on the flowers.

“what game is it?”

“rare flowers. whoever finds the rarest flower has to make dinner tonight. dea—“

you were already on the move, finding a flower you and sunoo hasn’t seen before. you heard his faint laugh from afar and you chuckled. still searching for this random flower. you found a flower that was white on the outside and a slight pink on the inside, you’ve never seen this flower before and with that you picked it up running back up to sunoo noticing he never left his spot.

“i found a flower!” you showed in your hands. “where’s yours?”

“i don’t know, i think my rare flower is standing right infront of me”

you let out a loud ‘aww’ before tumbling him to the ground with a big hug. your bodies rolled around in the flowers, the scent of nature enhancing the mood.

you plant a kiss on his lips, which shocked you both because he wasn’t ready for that and you didn’t expect your lips to move before your brain. you felt awkward inside so you decided to take yourself off of him but he instantly pulled you back down on him sealing your lips together, with the flowers and sunlight on display.

JAY. ݁₊ ⊹.ᐟ

jay was a complete fat ass. he was and will be the first one to take any food away from you, he’ll let you get the first few bites obviously but after that its over.

it’s gotten to a point where you would have to hide your food from him but this time you didn’t need to hide food because you both were on a picnic in central park.

fresh fruits were in the basket, along with a few other snacks that you knew he was going to attack first. you guys decided to paint each-other something that represented your relationship.

setting out the materials, you were in the process of eating strawberries. you put your hand in the basket and realized there was one more left, jay side eyeing you in the process.

“bro. i know you not staring me down over a damn strawberry jay.” you laughed, placing the strawberry on your teeth.

“AHHH!” he yells, turning your face towards him before biting the top of the strawberry, leaving you the other half of the strawberry on your teeth.

you couldn’t stop laughing at your boyfriend and his silly behavior. the strawberry juices dripping from your lips as you used your hand to catch it before it fell on your canvas.

jay chewing the strawberry aggressively, while side eyeing you. he couldn’t hold himself together he bursted out laughing and you two were now a giggling mess.

“i love you,” jay says, leaning forward towards your face planting a kiss on your sweet strawberry lips.

you kissed him back, the strawberry tasted lingering in your tongue and your strawberry lip gloss getting on jays mouth.

“why do you taste like double the strawberries?” he questions, licking his lips.

“i had on strawberry lip gloss dummy”

“mmm. taste good!” he smiles, going back to kissing you.

NIKI. ݁₊ ⊹.ᐟ

you and niki were in the dance room sweating your asses away. you guys were rehearsing a choreography that your manger taught you guys 3 days ago for a show and you only had today to get the counts together and you were stressing.

there was one move you couldn’t hit on the beat and it was frustrating you. niki was doing his absolute best on explaining it with the counts.

“five, six, seven, eight. two, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. got it?”

you nodded your head, barely having the breath to speak. he pressed play on the song you guys were dancing to and when the part came up you immediately hit it right on the counts.

“was it that hard love?” he said, stopping the music and looking at your body collapse on the floor.

“yes!” you responded, nodding in the process. your body weak and you needed a break. you’ve been dancing for 2 hours straight and you ran out of energy.

niki came towards you with one of his hands under your back and the other hand under your legs. he picked you bridal style and walked with you towards the small couch in the corner of the dance room.

sitting down with you on his lap, he turns the AC on and goes on his phone to set an hour break because he know you needed it.

you controlled your breathing in the process of laying on his lap and he had cold towels to wipe the sweat off your body and keep you awake. you stared at him, while he was in the process of taking care of you.

“why are you just staring at me like that”

you placed your hand in your chest. “i can’t stare at my handsome boyfriend while he’s taking care of me?”

niki chuckled. “of course you can. but are you really staring at me or my lips? if you want a kiss just say that.”

he gives you a cocky glare that screamed ‘got ya.’ this was about to be your first kiss with him and you didn’t expect for it to be in a dance room and especially you didn’t think he’d be so bold about it.

you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself up and planting a kiss on his lips. niki’s hands were on your lower back as he was supporting you from falling off of him. slight humming sounds escaped the lips of both lovers and a muffled scream came from you when you heard the door opening.

“alright, let me see what you guys got.” the mangaer announces.

you were standing up while niki was sitting on the couch, manspreading. he pulled his phone out and showed the manager that you guys had 8 minutes left of a break and with that the manager left you two alone.

your heart beating out of your chest, as you turn around to see niki standing in-front of you wanting to be attached to you’re luscious lips once again.

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

! not proof read ! ~ likes, comments, & reblogs are appreciated :>

[lemonzestywrites]

I was coming here to maybe politely beg ask about Eddie and his nesting??? 🥺👉👈

hippo at this point you are my biggest cheerleader for this fic and i could not be more grateful for that 😊

also counting this as my seven sentence sunday cause why not lmaoo

taking a little bit of a break from the usual routine and offering some omega!eddie for the soul

====

Eddie is trying to downplay this; Buck knows he is.

Granted, he might not be super knowledgeable on all of this stuff, but he knows Eddie. He knows his best friend more closely than he knows a lot of people. He knows when Eddie gets excited and his cheeks get all rosy and plump, or when he cries, his eyes intermix with this dark earthy, almost green-looking color. That unlike Buck, he has an insane spice tolerance. That despite his appearance is a man who has a massive heart and a soft spot for The Great British Baking Show.

And he knows when Eddie is trying to pretend something is not as bad as it seems.

Now is no different. Buck can see Eddie’s face buried in the fabric of his nest. Slow, shallow breaths flow in and out of his nose with heavy passes, like he’s forcing every intake indeed of it coming naturally to him. His knuckles grip at the sheets, almost going white with burning intensity.

It hurts knowing his friend is going through absolutely bodily hell, and there’s nothing really Buck can do about it. His mind wracks through every filtered bit of hidden information in his head, trying to remember anything that could maybe help Eddie right now.

Physical touch? Maybe a heating pad?

====

tagged by - @eddiebabygirldiaz @snowviolettwhite

no pressure tagging - @hippolotamus @devirnis @kitteneddiediaz @elvensorceress @aroeddiediaz @goforkinard

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Bopapodamus

Debut: Donkey Kong Country Returns

Nowadays lots of people have played Super Mario Bros. Wonder and met Hoppo, the funny bouncy hippo. To this I say, PAH! Back in my day we had a DIFFERENT funny bouncy hippo to platform around, and it never even got any high-quality PNG official artwork! And we liked it! We liked it because we were playing a good game. Our enjoyment was not affected by whether a Bopapodamus image had a transparent background.

That little Cranky Kong joke there made me realize, it's been a while since the release of DKCR. So I checked, and the time between then and now is LONGER than the time between Donkey Kong (arcade) and Donkey Kong Country 1! What the heck! I don't like that! The DK from Returns could have become a new Cranky in that time, and the old Cranky could have died! Died and been sent to the glue factory, where they make Gorilla Glue®!

Anyway, Bopapodamus. Like many of the Retro Studios DKC enemies, it is pretty much just a cartoon animal, which there's nothing wrong with! But it does make a lot of them less interesting to talk about. THIS cartoon hippo, though, is found in the forest, and clings to the top of poles! That's ridiculous! A fun zoology fact is that hippos cannot do that. Hippo feet are already not at all suited for clinging to things, but Bopapodamus even has ELEPHANT feet. Even less capable of cling! At least hippos have movable toes!

The obvious question here is: why is a hippo clinging to the top of the pole? To solve this conundrum, we must think of real animals whose lifestyles involve clinging to something in the forest... like ticks! They may be relatively harmless to a (comparatively) small gorilla, but just imagine if a really BIG gorilla walked by. A gorilla the size of the moon, just strolling by. Bopapodamus just needs to grab onto its hair as it passes by, and then it can slurp blood without being noticed!

"Bopapodamus" is a silly name. Retro Studios loves to use the word "bop" in these games! It's in one Returns level name, and two Tropical Freeze level names! I must admit it is a good word for what happens when DK jumps on an enemy. They do indeed get Bopped! I am thankful to not get bopped by a gorilla, in my everyday life! It doesn't sound like something I would like.

[noahs-blue-jeans]

Byler playlist! also giving insight into my tastes lol. Took a lot not to include the soulsborne music i actually always listen to

——

—Mykonos, Fleet Foxes. Mykonos itself is a “gay mecca”, and the Hellenistic greeks were well known for their queerness. The song itself evokes two men bonded by purpose and love to face down challenges. It also reminds me of Patroclus and Achilles, and is a popular song in rhe fandom for Song of Achilles. “Brother you dont need to turn me away/I was waiting down at the ancient gate.” hmmm, gate.

—Goddess, Laufey. This is one of my new favorite songs, and its themes touch on both boys’ insecurities. One can also argue the Eleven sings this, and as I write this out I think it is definitely El in a lot of ways. The “goddess”, a powerful person that Mike idolizes, but when they come to really know each other they realize it cant work.

—Operator (He Doesn’t Call Me), Låpsley. The first of a few on the nose songs lol, very much Will singing this about Mike who sure, tried to call him, but they never came through.

—Does Your Mother Know, ABBA. This show needs ABBA! everything does lol, you can listen to 70s disco in the 80s. Anyway, I see this being about Mike and his gaze toward Will. Wanting him, thinking he’s hot a cute, but keeping it. It’s lighthearted and I enjoy the idea of Karen getting sus that Mike like’s Will. I also see Mike jogging to this.

—Let You Break My Heart Again, Laufey. Love Laufey. Another where it applies to both boys. “Someday I will stop falling in love with you.” Mike trying so hard to move on from Will, and Will so torn up by how much he loves Mike.

—Good Luck Babe, Chappell Roan. I mean, does this need explanation? The comphet anthem of a generation, Will screaming this into the microphone while Mike watches. It’s like he was drunk at the airport in a way, trying to stuff his feelings away and salve his pain with lies.

—Black Sheep, Metric. The original version, this time an edgier take on their feelings, Will mostly. He’s upset, mad at Mike. “Now that the truth is just a rule/That you can bend” its giving Mike becoming a goddamn comphet pretzel.

—Baseball, Hippo Campus. Baseball being the Conformity Allegory, A. B: this song has some fun and poetic allusions to physical intimacy and touches on the relationship between the boys. I also just realized it has blue and yellow in the lyrics!

—As the World Caves In, Sarah Cochran cover. The song that plays as they think the world is ending around them, maybe it is. They’ve finally come together and make love. it’s awkward anf funny and passionate and feels so fucking good. In the end, they lie there and wait to see if the world will indeed cave in.

—Idea of Her, Cavetown. So many of Robbie’s songs work for them, as we’ll see with the next one. His trans experience speaks to the hiding of oneself, denying truths, and like this song addresses: loving the idea of something. We got California rep AND a top down view of Mike’s feelings about Eleven. “Can’t get your name past my lips like a slur.” To me, it reads as both the love he can’t say to El because its not true, and that it’s so hard to use Will’s name right after it.

—Boys Will Be Bugs, Cavetown. This is about Mike being stupid.

—Jupiter, C Duncan. A gay songwriter, Duncan’s song here has me imagine Will taking Mike on the journey of acceptance. Driving as the song plays, hands close to touching. A dreamlike sequence with Will taking charge, sensitively.

—Like Real People Do, Hozier. This is Hozier descending from music heaven telling these two to fucking kiss already.

—Beneath the Brine, The Family Crest. this feels to me like Mike melodramatically singing about Will while he’s trapped in the UD, and when he’s possessed and away from him.

—No Woman, Whitney. LA reference! While also referencing Mike’s changes, lying to himself, “walking through a haze” of his conflicting feelings for Will and El.

thats all for now! if anyone has byler tracks id love to see them

[dumbawesomev69]

Faunus evolution Arc edition

(all art from madly Mesozoic on YouTube)

River elephant

In port class he talks about Hippo faunus as he shows a video of them however jaune knew something was wrong.

Jaune: professor port, those aren't Hippo faunus they're river elephants.

Mr port: What, how can you tell?

Jaune: well..

River elephant faunus: Yeah buddy!!!

Other river elephant faunus: Yeah buddy!!!

Jaune: my great great great great grandfather was a river elephant.

Ruby: They don't seem afraid of Grimm.

Jaune: yeah did I really afraid of anything they're just very aggressive to anything whether they're grimm or not.

Fun fact: River elephants are actually elephants that evolved adapting to a Hippo lifestyle.They adapted to an omnivorous diet eating plants and crustaceans and of course they are still at threat by predators but they have shown they handle even the biggest threat.

Grazing gorgon

Snow has come to the city of Argus as saphorn arc and her wife terra arc were out with their son Adrian arc as he plays in the snow at the park.

Terra: Adrian really loves the snow.

Saphorn: yeah he does, hey let's get some hot chocolate.

Terra: yeah, wait who's going to stay and watch Adrian.

Saphorn: he'll be fine my parents left us alone many times so it's fine.

The two got up and left as their son continued to play when his little stomach growled as Adrian looked for his mother a faunus wearing a white mask picked him up and ran into the woods.

Adam looks out from the woods before turning to a white fang member. "Those two were idiots leaving their son alone now he will be an example why the White fang shouldn't be messed with."

Another white fang member approaches Adam. "Uh Adam maybe we should return the kid."

Adam: what!? Why!

The member points towards some trees which confuses him until he makes his way over and looks to see the white fang member who took Adrian dead lying in the snow.

Adam looks to see Adrian feasting in the corpse.

Adam: .....

Minutes later

Saphorn and terra return to find Adrian crawling towards them.

Saphorn: see I told you, wait is that blood.

Terra: oh no please let it be a squirrel and not another pet, we still recovering from the neighbor cat incident.

Saphorn: To be fair that pussy cat had it coming.

The two took their son home as Adam watched them leave. "Note to self make sure kid isn't a faunus killing machine."

Fun fact: grazing gorgon will actually eat carrion, eggs and small mammals to expand their diet and in some cases they will actually follow mammoths for food in some cases they will be attacked by sabertooth or other predators in which in the end the grazing Gorgon will feast upon the would be attacker.

Winter tryant

Weiss was putting makeup on when her brother walked in making her sighs. "what is it Whitley?"

Whitley: what can't a brother see her sister.

Weiss: I know you whitley what is it you want.

Whitley: I just don't get how you got yourself a boyfriend, you sure you didn't use your psychotropic pheromones.

Weiss smirks. "Of course I did once but well let's just say I learned my lesson very well~."

Before Whitley can ask the doorbell rang as weiss immediately rush down stairs as the rest of the family arrives when Weiss opened the door revealing a very tall blonde teen with two antlers on his head as Jacques eyes widen in fear while winter, Willow and Whitley all have a bright blush on there face.

Weiss: Family meet Jaune arc, my boyfriend.

Jaune: it's nice to meet you all.

Jacques finally found his voice. "Wait arc!? I know that family, they're nothing more than a bunch of fuck up bastards and sluts."

Jaune: Excuse me what was that.

Jacques: You heard me brat.

Jaune: I believe you should apologize before I do something I might regret.

Jacques: Here's your apologies!

Jacques: Oh shit

Jaune:

Jacques ran screaming as jaune chases after him leaving Weiss with the rest of her family.

Willow: so Weiss your boyfriend is something else~

Winter: indeed~

Whitley: Said Weiss are you-

Weiss: I'm willing to share with him because he is a big handful especially for my teammates.

Fun fact: winter tryants are tyrannosaurus Rex the evolve for the coldest areas of the ark and their antlers on their head help with fighting against the Charfka telepathic abilities and to flip them over.

Night wolf chimp

We found jaune looking through his family tree book with his teammates and team rwby having a good time when they get to jaune mother family which wasn't so cheerful.

Blake: uh jaune why are their pictures of random people and faunus?

Jaune: oh right, they are my mothers family slaves she doesn't talk much about her past but my mom's side weren't exactly the kindness or nicest faunus in fact it's a reason why bandits keep their fires lit at night.

Nora: jaune-jaune your family are mixed faunus so what was your mother.

Jaune: believe it or not my mother was a cross between chimp and bonobo faunus becoming the first ever hybrids.

Ren: I'm guessing they didn't have a courtship.

Jaune: from what Mom told me, the males took the females after killing the males and forced them to have children with them. Over time my mother and few others become the first hybrids to carry on their nightly raids talking villages camps and even small sediments on Islands however over time we develop a relationship with a few well the rest of the time they view them as pests. My mother was lucky enough to find my father after that she gave of her old ways and married my father and started a family.

Both teams can hear the regret in jaune voices. "Hey if it's anything, my mother is a bandit who abandon me and Ruby's father."

Jaune smiles towards yang. "A little bit but I can learn from this, we make our own future and not let our parents past get in the way."

Pyrrha: hey jaune what about your father, and his side of the family.

Jaune: uh well that's for another time.

Fun fact: night wolf chimps hunt during Dawn going after mammals, birds, lizards, bugs, terrasaurs, smaller dinosaurs, fruits and larger dinosaurs which is rare. They are known to have some relationships with other great evolve apes like kudo kubwa even assist in combat with a meal at the end of it.

[nerdieforpedro]

Weddings 101 with Dieter

Chapter Four: You're worth the hassle and the dresses

Dieter Bravo x Maya (plus size OFC)

Fanfiction 18+ MDNI

Masterlist / Dieter Bravo Masterlist / Weddings 101 with Dieter Series

Word Count: approx. 4.8k

Summary: Oscar plots. Dieter continues a conversation with Maya's Mom. The bridal party comes to an agreement. Maya and Dieter finally spend some more time together and FEELINGS. Dinner is going well until it doesn't.

Warnings: brief mention of an injury, weird family dynamics, fluff, Dieter being a horrible wedding guest in the past, more fluff

Notes: This series is quite tame compared to what I normally write. I'm enjoying it! Dieter and Maya are so cute. Her family is indeed crazy and Mom is...well she's mom. I did put in the top poll answer of why Dieter isn't invited to weddings. I'm not sure how many chapters we're going to have, do I want to end their wacky adventures? I mean the wedding has to happen at some point right? I experimented with a moodboard. Let me know if ya'll like it. 😘 Special thanks to @angelofsmalldeath-codeine for being so supportive and helping me to make sure the phrases I was using in Spanish made sense.

Oscar was in the Medical tent laying on his stomach with an ice pack on his ass cheek. He needed a way to get back at Dieter Bravo for this and his stupid goat because on top of being painful, it was humiliating. He asked his assistant to see if they could find where Bravo was staying and what he was up to while he was in Hawaii. He was gonna make sure at least to show up somewhere to freak him the fuck out and maybe find some sort of animal to bite him too. He knew it wouldn’t be a hippo or maybe he could just hit him with his guitar. Oscar wasn’t quite sure at this point, he just knew he was angry as hell and his ass hurt. 

“Fucking Dieter Bravo messing up my money maker like that. This is bullshit. I’m going after that mop on his head.”

Meanwhile, Dieter and Miss Yvette, were on the way up to where the bridesmaid fittings were taking place. The elevator ride to the eighth floor was peppered with small talk, exchanges of compliments on clothing and the venue itself mainly from Dieter. Miss Yvette when they reached the target floor exited the elevator decided to ask,

“Are you the one who gave my daughter the mark on her chest that I used some concealer on?” 

To which Dieter stopped walking and just blinked. Miss Yvette never lost her smile and even started laughing, “Dear you should see the look on your face. I’m not mad, just curious. It’s unlike her, she’s usually more reserved so it’s good to see her loosen up a bit. Just aim for a less public spot next time, have her wear a different dress that covers it or make sure she uses concealer before she leaves your…villa was it?”

Her hand patted his shoulder and he relaxed a little. Bravo was not embarrassed easily, so this was quite a feat. Normally he didn’t meet the mothers of people he was seeing, except a few times years ago and they were all in a club so it wasn’t weird. I mean maybe to people who weren’t there. You had to be there.  He nodded wordlessly and took a deep breath, exhaling. “Yes, ma’am. We’ll be a bit more careful about that.” He got the impression that like her daughter, Miss Yvette was not one to be trifled with. She kept the smile on her face and kept walking down the hallway toward the dressing room.

It started with the maid of honor, throwing off her orange sherbet bridesmaid dress standing in the middle of the room in her underwear yelling at the bride to which she responded, “well, that’s why I’m changing the color cause I know no one likes it.” 

The Maid of honor countered with, “well had you taken any of our suggestions, we wouldn’t be having this issue and we wouldn’t have to keep doing these stupid ass fittings, and we wouldn’t have had to buy these ugly ass dresses!” The two longtime friends were arguing in front of the bridesmaids. 

 Maya and the other ladies hung back in their nearly neon bright, sherbet dresses, watching things unfold as the two women inched closer with increasing volume. The maid of honor and the bride continued to get louder with each other until they suddenly stopped and looked at the bridesmaids. 

“What do you all think? The orange brings out the flowers I wanted to put around the venue but if it’s really that big of a deal you don’t have to wear the dresses I guess.” The bride led with which as the maid of home crossed her arms, still in her underwear. Maya wondered if she was cold or not. A fellow bridesmaid tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to come and discuss if they should really tell her that they don’t want to wear these dresses. One of the other ladies asked if everyone had brought a back up dress in case they couldn’t stand the orange. Maya was relieved to hear that all of them had the same idea. The bride interjected that any dress worn should be a warm color that’s light or pastel to still go with her light and airy color scheme. The collective groan was loud and a few women stomped but they all agreed to the pastels.

After some of this commotion was settling down, though there were still some words exchanged from across the room between the maid of honor, and the bridesmaid or the bride a knock came to the door. 

Miss Yvette knocked because she was aware they would likely be in a state of undress. The bridesmaid nearest to the door asked who it was. She announced herself and everybody said they needed a couple minutes to get dressed. Everybody put back on whatever they wore up here initially and just tossed the sherbet dresses in the corner of the room. They’re trash at this point. The bridal party was surprised that Miss Yvette even came up here because she was not interested at all in the dresses. The extra surprise was that she brought a gentleman with her that is not her husband and it’s not one of her three sons. Everyone’s face questioned who this man was, he wasn’t anyone’s husband that had already been identified. All the single ladies had made sure to do that at the meet and greet and zone in on available men. 

Maya had put back on her dress from earlier, it had a deep V in front, the base was white and it had lines of gold, green, brown ovals and various splashes of orange. She was adjusting it to pull it frome where it bunched under her breasts as her mother and Dieter walked in. His eyes fixed on Maya, slowing his pace. Miss Yvette tapped him on his arm to take him out of his momentary daze. Most of the bridesmaids could tell that Maya was pleasantly surprised to see the mystery man because she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, he did the same to her. 

The bridesmaids collectively asked “Who is this man? How do you know him? How long have you known him? Why don’t we know anything about him? He looks familiar?” Maya introduced Dieter to the bridesmaids, all of them recognized the name, some couldn’t place it while the others wondered how Maya could have met an A-list star outside of one of the conventions she goes to.

“How does Maya know him?” 

“How did that happen?”

“We feel like there’s a story here.”

Maya turned to face the bridesmaids and bride beaming, “I don’t have to tell ya’ll anything. Have a good rest of your evening,” she looked up at him while she still had an arm around him standing side by side, “Dieter, let’s blow this popsicle stand!” And started toward the door, guiding him along. On their way out, Miss Yvette gave her daughter a kiss and whispered to her,

“Stay safe and use protection. Don’t be out here like your two older brothers in their heyday.” Maya stopped and turned to her mother in surprise as did Dieter. Turns out Miss Yvette didn’t whisper all that much. “He seems nice so it’s fine. It’s always better with someone nice depending on the mood and what you’re going for,” She waved them off, “Anyway, have fun and see you next time.” Dieter and Maya swiftly made their exit into the hallway and toward the elevator.

“Is that something mothers normally say to their children? Even when they’re grown or maybe especially where they’re grown?” Dieter asked, again Maya’s mother had surprised him and left him in awe. Kit Kat shook her head and placed a hand on his chest.

“Don’t think about it. Mom’s…just kick it out of your mind. I will, there’s been enough trouble today.” Maya sighed.

“I can see that. Why was there one woman in her bra and underwear? There were also dresses on the floor, what happened? I thought it was a rehearsal or something.” He questioned, Maya shook her head.

“The simple answer is that my family is crazy and I don’t have to wear the orange monstrosity. I can wear one of my other dresses I brought with me.” The elevator came to the first floor and the pair made their way to the hotel lobby.

“About that Maya, I think since you’re free to pick your dress, you should get a few of them just for fun and do some outfit changes.” Dieter suggested, opening the door for her as they walked down the stairs to their ride. He also opened the car door for her too and scooped up her dress before getting in himself.

“That sounds great, but then I have to figure out where I would even shop. Sounds like too much of a hassle.” Daisy hopped up in Maya's lap and snuggled against her. Dieter resisted the urge to side eye Daisy as that’s where he planned to lay his head. Laying his head on her shoulder, he exhaled and reached for her hand holding it gently. A smile graced both of their faces as the car pulled away from the hotel.

“You’re worth the hassle Maya, you know that right?” He rubbed his cheek on her shoulder and lifted her hand, kissing it. She giggled and squeezed, raising her shoulder to nudge his head. Dieter raised his head, kissing her cheek. “We’re going to work up an appetite before dinner and a new nickname for you, Almond Joy.”

Maya chuckled, pressing her forehead to Dieter’s temple, “you’re such a tease you fluffy boy.” The smile on her face is something that Dieter wanted to bottle and keep with him. “Why Almond Joy? I thought I was Kit Kat?”

“Says the woman who said she was going to move up the timetable and hasn’t yet. You’re the tease. We’re making a stop before dinner. Just to look and if you really don’t want to get anything, then you don’t have to.” Letting go of Maya’s hand, Dieter picked up Daisy and put her on his stomach as he laid his head in Kit Kat’s lap. “Before you tell me to move, you promised I could.” He grinned as he looked up at her.

“What do you mean we’re going to make a stop? To where? Dieter you’re dead set on buying dresses. I swear you just want to dress me up.” Her hands immediately went to his soft curls. Despite her words, she wasn’t fussing at him. “Were you really able to find a place where I can be fitted? That seems like a tall ask.” One of her hands ran down and covered Dieter’s eyes, Maya was tearing up a little bit. Stupidly sweet man. Daisy hopped off of his stomach to try and lick her tears on her face.

That was when Dieter saw something he knew he wouldn’t want to see again. 

Her tears,

“Shit, Maya what’s wrong? I mean if you don’t want the dresses I’m not going to force you I just-” Bravo shot up and pulled her onto his lap which surprised her so much she stopped crying for a moment. Her eyes fell on Dieter’s and she saw that he looked worried, concerned even. It was a bit much for a few days to be feeling things like this, overwhelming. She couldn’t lie to herself though and cupped his face.

“Just shut up Dieter.” Maya commanded as her lips softly touched his. It started gently, but when she felt his hands squeeze her hips, she released a groan, parting his lips and letting him in. He didn’t hesitate to use his tongue to explore her mouth as his hands kneaded her flesh. For a few minutes, they forgot they were in the back of a car where there was a driver present and pressed their bodies together until they stopped moving and took a breath. 

The driver announced that they had arrived at their destination and got out but Dieter shot him a look. “Don’t move yet. Are you alright?” His thumb ran across her bottom lip, stealing what was left of her lipstick, he was wearing the rest. “We don’t have to go in if you’re not comfortable.”

“No, I want to. I…Dieter, thank you. I’m not sure if I ever said that to you. I’m more than okay. The tears were happy ones Dee. I’m actually excited about buying a dress which is rare.” Maya laughed as she ruffled his hair.”Let’s go.” She went to move off his lap, but he didn’t let go of her hips yet.

“Almond Joy, you worried me there. I like you in this position though.”

“Dieter, we need to get-”

“Just give me a few minutes, you got little Dee excited.” 

Maya rolled her eyes hard and wiggled her hips on purpose, making Dieter grunt. “Is that right? I’m not sorry about that.” She placed her hands on his chest, “you sure you should be calling him ‘little Dee’? Doesn’t feel small to me.”

“Dammit Kit Kat, I’m tempted to skip the dresses and dinner.” Dieter laid his head back against the seat, loosening his grip on her hips. She was able to climb off and get out of the car. Daisy followed. 

“Nope. You promised and you already had your head in my lap earlier.” Picking up Daisy, she turned to look at a gold and white boutique that had purple flowers around the frame of their window. It looked like there were a few people inside but they had nametags, employees? Maybe it was the end of the day. “Are they closing? People are kinda just standing there. It’s odd.”

After readjusting himself a few times, Dieter finally got out of the car and tipped the driver, telling him he'd text when they were ready for pick up. He placed his arm around Maya’s waist and guided her to the double doors as the staff opened it for them. 

“Welcome Ms. Maya and Mr. Bravo! We’re excited to have you with us today.” The employees had formed a line and were all smiles. The woman speaking was tall, statuesque with a beaming face. Dieter walked Maya into the middle of the room where there was a small stage in the shape of a circle. 

“I’m not going up there. What is it even for?” She questions as she stood in front of it and Dieter chuckled, hopped up on the stage and did a twirl. 

“It’s for this when you find your perfect dresses!” He shimmied his shoulders making her laugh as she set Daisy on the couch. 

“Sure, sure. If I happen to find one I like. But Dieter how-” Before she could finish, he stepped down and kissed her softly, placing a hand on her hip. The employees scattered to start selecting dresses as one woman in a hot pink blazer stepped forward and waited until Dieter took a step back. He turned to the woman in the blazer and looked at her name tag quickly.

“Susan. This is Maya. She’s looking for some dresses to wear to her younger brother’s wedding. At least two bridesmaid dresses and one evening gown. She’ll argue and tell you she doesn’t need them. But pick ugly ones so she’ll be forced to actually pick because I know she’ll feel bad for making me buy her any ugly dresses.” Kit Kat didn’t think that his smile could get any more smug with the way he ended his request. She sighed and cut her eyes at Dieter before following Susan and a few other staff to look at dresses and then the fitting room. 

It felt like she had tried on twenty dresses. Thankfully, most of them were actually her size. Susan had said that they specialize in different body types in this boutique and that’s why she enjoyed working here. One of the assistants commented that she had broad shoulders and that she had been surprised to find shirts that didn’t feel so tight on her shoulders but were baggy everywhere else. It was nice, more than that, it was an actual positive shopping experience. Another moment Dieter had given her, well he’s given her quite a few of them in the few days they’d been together. 

“It’s like I’m in a weird, really pleasant dream. Am I sure I’m not still asleep from that orange juice I drank?” Pinching her arm, she surmised that not, she is very much in the present. Her final dress was the evening gown. Well, a dress and not a gown. It was a bright champagne dress that had different layered pleats. It had small thin straps so the staff fit her for a few strapless bras and threw in some matching panties ‘for the occasion’ as they put it. They also fit her with gold strappy kitten heels. She was a bit nervous to walk out onto the same stage that Dieter had been prancing on, but Susan walked with her and held her hand as she climbed the few stairs that lead up to the stage. 

Dieter was sitting on the couch with Daisy and a staff member came out before the pair and told them that he needed to keep his eyes closed for the surprise. So far, Maya had picked out a satin light pink dress (matching with the bride’s theme) and a red sweetheart dress that had blue flowers on it. She had looked beautiful on both of those so he was curious what the evening gown would be. The staff member told him he could look at the stage now. Dieter stood with wide eyes and an open mouth.

“Well, how is it? I’m not really into gowns so I went with a dress. I like my legs out. Yes I heard how that sounds.” Maya rattled off holding her hands in front of her. Dieter just kept staring and didn’t say anything. “Does it look weird? Maybe it was a bit much, it seemed fun though.”

“You’re not taking it off.”

“What? What are you talking about Dee?”

“If you love it, then you’re not taking it off. ¡Cariño, mirate! Mi reina está preciosa.…” (Dear look at you! My queen looks gorgeous.) Dieter hopped up on the stage, but his foot caught and he nearly fell, but Maya pulled him up. He held her hands, then ran them up her bare arms as he brought her to his chest. “You’re not taking this dress off until I take it off of you. You’re walking out of here with it on with those luscious legs of yours on display. Maya you’re a damn dream.” His hands ran along her back as hers cuddled his soft middle. 

“You’re way too much Dieter…” She closed her eyes again and held in a sniffle as he stepped back to give her a kiss on her forehead. 

“I am, but you enjoy that about me. Don’t pretend you don’t. You want to hear something funny on the way over to dinner?” He went to talk her off the stage but stopped. “Ah! You didn’t twirl.”

“Bravo…fine. I know you’re not going to let it go.” At this point, she knew better than to argue and took hold of two of the lower pleats and twirled, making herself laugh as Dieter watched. In this moment he wondered what he was going to do when this wedding was over, this is the most fun he had in a long time. It had been even longer since he’d connected with another person, actually wanted to do things for them and cared what they thought about what he did. Her smile is something he wanted to see, her touch is something he wanted to feel, her voice and its various forms is what he wanted to hear and he could stay curled up in bed with her on her soft body. 

“Well, damn…” Dieter Bravo muttered to himself, she appeared to spin in slow motion.

“Are you sure you’re ready to go? Don’t you have to change too?” Maya asked when she stopped twirling and placed a hand on Dieter’s chest to steady herself, she’d gotten a little dizzy.

“Yeah I do, but it’s just a black suit. I’ve already been the center of attention today. It’s your turn.” He took her hand once again and led her back down the stairs to the couch. The staff brought over an eggshell shawl to go over her shoulders as Dieter changed into his all black suit. He wore a plain white button down shirt with a bow tie. It was a classic look which fit Dieter perfectly, his messy curls accented it that much further. The dresses (including the one she wrote in) were packed up by the staff and put in the back of the car as they drove off to dinner. 

On the way, Dieter explained to Almond Joy why he isn’t invited to weddings anymore. It started with his cousin’s wedding where he wore a white suit, not horrible, but not welcome either. It wasn’t really that bad of a thing. His former best friend’s wedding, was delayed because they couldn’t find the groom.

“What do you mean they couldn’t find the groom Dieter?” 

“See I took him for his bachelor party, the poor sucker hadn’t been past the Mississippi River as far as travel in the States in his life so I took him to Thailand.”

“Did you tell his fiance or family? I don’t see this going well.” Her hands found their way to his head again. Dieter let out a soft purr.

“Nah, what had happened was, it was supposed to be a long weekend, but ended up being a week and a half.” He dropped his head back into her lap. 

“Dieter, you had that man miss his own wedding?!” Maya pinched his cheeks as he laughed. “And get up, you’re going to mess up your suit you goof.”

“Not moving. Best spot in the car.” 

“How did it end up taking a week and a half?”

“We explored what the country had to offer. Local cuisine, got to know some of the people, maybe dabbled in some local practices.”

“Ya’ll got high as balls didn’t you? Was he ever the same when he got back to the states?” Her eyes rolled as she shook her head.

“I mean yeah, but not as high as I’ve ever been. It was fair. My friend did get a neck tattoo that said, ‘Me love you long time baby.’ I tried to tell him you shouldn’t play dominos with an old man with one eye because what does he have to lose?”

“I….you know. I would have banned you too. Good Lord.”

“There’s one more incident with another friend.”

“What could be worse than that?”

“Not worse. In fact, they’re the ones that don’t have taste. They said they couldn’t go to Eurovision 2021. So I brought it to them.”

“…I shudder to think what that means Dee.”

“It meant, I had a tear-away suit on as well as the four other guys I was dancing with. We wore maroon thongs that went with the bride’s color scheme and tasteful white nipple pasties.” The car pulled up in front of the restaurant and Maya couldn’t get out of the car, she was holding on to the seat in front of her laughing so hard that her eyes were tearing. 

“Dieter no! Please tell me you’re joking.” She mumbled in between roars. Dieter got out and walked around to her door to open it. 

“I would never joke about that, it also may have been around the same time I was very into drug cocktails. So that’s the part I remember. I was on a table at some point and grinded on someone’s aunt. After that, things got murky and then I woke up in my hotel room naked with Daisy, my previous assistant and a guy in a corner with a blindfold. Don’t know who that guy was. He played the harmonica though.”

Maya turned to Dieter and slid out of the car, grabbing his shoulders as he forehead hit his chest. “S-Sorry, Dieter…I’m sorry you can’t go to your friend’s weddings anymore. From their perspective I get why, but they should also know you mean well. I think. That tattoo incident though was way too much.” She was still giggling as her arm wrapped around his waist and his around her shoulders. “You should do birthday parties though.” He closed the door and they walked up the stairs into the restaurant. It was crowded but they walked through the restaurant to an area upstairs to a terrace where there were white and red roses around a table. Maya gave Dieter a kiss on the cheek from the beautiful set up before they sat down and ordered water and drinks. "Everything is perfect Dee. This evening's been wonderful. I'm not going to Thailand with you though."

“So if I were to ask you, would you get a tattoo with me?” Dieter asked, waving his right arm with his black triangle on it. Maya sipped her water and smirked. "And don't rule out Thailand yet."

“Maybe not the triangle since you’ve already got one, but maybe another one. I don’t have any tattoos currently. I’ve thought about getting one, but I’m undecided on a few designs.”

“Is that right? Well, I promise it won't be a neck tattoo if that will help.” He chuckled as they chatted and ordered appetizers. “ I will say my Toblerone, we’re finally at dinner and now we’re talking about tattoos. Did you think we’d be here from the airport? You gave me such a hard time Maya.” Dieter tucked his chin and gave a fake sullen look. 

Leaving back in her chair and smiling wide at his teasing, “No. I thought I was insane for agreeing to go with you. I’m glad you offered and I agreed. It’s been nothing like I expected, but everything I didn’t know I needed. I didn’t think I was so tightly wound. Thanks Dieter and…” She paused and finished her drink, trying to find the right words. His hand reached across to hers and took it from her glass, his thumb caressed the back of her hand. Bravo’s eyes softened from their playful glare.

“I know. To be honest, my intentions weren’t exactly above board at first, but then we laughed, drank and played uno and I didn’t want you to go. Still don’t want you to go, I told you you're worth the hassle.”

“A frustratingly sweet fluffy man…” Maya’s voice trailed off as they exchanged soft glances. The appetizers were set at the table and something was amiss. There were two long island iced teas that came with them. Dieter pointed out to the waiter that they hadn’t ordered them. 

Three chords were strummed and the steadily grew closer. Dieter didn’t turn around as he took deep breaths. ‘No. That rat bastard should be crying in his room somewhere. Not here. Not at my damn dinner interrupting my Maya. I only have but so long.’

“Buenas noches a la feliz pareja (Good evening to the happy couple). I hope you enjoy the drinks and the small sample of music.” A man with splashes of gray in his dark curls and beard appeared from behind Dieter and stood at the side of the table. He patted his guitar and took Maya’s free hand, bringing it to his lips as Bravo shot up from the table after letting go of her hand. 

“Your lips touch her hand and I will end you. Shouldn’t you still be having your ass tended to?” Dieter spat, Oscar set her hand down and smirked. 

“My ass was a quick fix thanks for asking. Unlike you, I don’t hold a grudge. I was extending an olive branch.” He looked down at Maya who was perplexed about the situation. “You may want to rethink getting involved with him. He has quite the temper and reputation. A nasty little goat too.” 

“Leave. Now. I’m not going to say it again, Oscar.” Dieter came to stand toe to toe with Isaac, only the guitar between them. Maya stood up and called for the staff to come over, she asked for Oscar to be removed. He held his hands up and left with two other waiters. 

“If you manage to piss off a goat, it just shows how shitty of a person you are half-ass.” Maya yelled out and Dieter snickered, kissing her cheek, then gave her neck a swift peck.

“That’s my Almond Joy for you.” Maya stood with a hand on her hip and felt her face grow warm. This damn lovable man, now she’s involved in whatever beef he has with Poe Dameron of all people. Who knew he was a douche?

Previous: Chapter Three

Next: Chapter Five

The Trash Panda Possse 🦝: @fhatbhabie @morallyinept @pedritapascal @pascalsanctuary @nissaimmortal @grogusmum @katw474 @readingiskeepingmegoing @theywhowriteandknowthings @beefrobeefcal @goodwithcheese @iamasaddie @megamindsecretlair @pamasaur @pedrodascal @marcus-is-my-muse @clawdee @trulybetty @perotovar @joelslegalwhre @josephquinnswhore @secretelephanttattoo @for-a-longlongtime @legendary-pink-dot @sin-djarin @maggiemayhemnj @rhoorl @sp00kymulderr @linzels-blog @joelmillers-whore @guelyury @laurfilijames @missladym1981 @magpiepills @alltheglitterandtheroar @din-djarins-riduur @daddy-dins-girl @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @yorksgirl @saturn-rings-writes @gwendibleywrites @pedroshotwifey @musings-of-a-rose @soft-persephone @javierpena-inatacvest @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @handspunyarns @i-own-loki @tinytinymenace

[hibiscuswolverine]

Thinking about makoto and the herbivore comparison.

Like sureee maybe it might sound a little uncool until you realize that herbivores while cute can dial it up to 11 the moment it’s a flee or die situation and they will give it their all.

Also some of the creatures you should fear minus the the obvious are indeed herbivores; horses (these bitches can break your damn bones without even trying), elephants, deer, moose, hippos for example! They very cute to coo at until you spook them or your someone they don’t like. Even smaller ones like goat, bunnies are also not creatures you shouldn’t take lightly as even if they bite you and it’s small it can still fuck you up with an infection.

Now think makoto naegi herbivore. While he seems cute and docile if you rile him up enough he will fight back even if it kills him

[fayeandknight]

Forte did indeed take his half brother's, @wyrddogs Zaku, suggestion to run around with a toy. It was the hippo version of the beloved piggy and he was so happy. We also got to do our favorite activity together, agility practice.

I'd have reblogged the post but Tumblr wouldn't let me add the video so separate post it is.

[torse]

Rimworld miscellaneous shenanigans a child joined my colony, and in addition to being Child Small, she has the trait [Small] the most skrunkly 🥺and cutest and most innocent-

okay enough of that, we're getting raided

---

we recruited Sticky, who was a cult runaway since I'm playing with the new lovecraft/SCP/bodyhorror xpac I figured something was going to be wrong with him

what I DIDNT expect was that the Something was going to try to infect others while hiding within Sticky and long story short..

Sticky had a metal horror inside of him, infected Notkin through a meal, then Notkin infected Khan... they all sliced out at once like a birthday party :') we caught one of them and put it in our SCP facility.. and I was SO delighted to find out that the game keeps track of its origins I'm sure Sticky and Notkin are very proud to have their son on display like this

---

Grief was tormented by a corpse that was identical to him

and it did INDEED teleport, when I wasnt looking at it, it actually spooked me

---

Khan got sucked into a labyrinth

---

and SPEAKING OF KHAN- that boy is SO bad at surviving here he is shooting a hippo, which starts to attack him, then he decides to take a snack break

and here he is shooting a rhino, which starts to attack him, then he decides to make a cube sculpture

oh, yeah, he was obsessed with a golden cube and made maybe a dozen cube sculptures

and finally, he and Notkin decided to get married. during THIS

[diamondangelkitten]

Junelezen Day 26: Late

"You're late," Guydelot says as Alinea and Estinien make their way towards him and Sanson.

Estinien chuckles as Alinea rolls her eyes at the bard. The noise causes Guydelot to tilt his head back and smirk. Alinea flips him off before crossing her arms.

"Hello Sanson. You didn't have to bring your other half with you if he's been bothering you."

Sanson laughs, now used to their antics.

"He's been rather well behaved till now. Though I'm sorry to say, it seems Sephy's quite attached to us."

Alinea sees that indeed, her pink carbuncle has gone to sit by Sanson. Guydelot had reached over to give Sephy a scratch and apparently found the right spot, as the carbuncle's head was tilted adorably.

"Hm, well at least Demetri has more sense."

At Sephy's sad little chirp and Guydelot's deep laughter, accompanied by smaller chuckles from Estinien and Sanson, Alinea smiles and starts to relax. She makes her way to sit next to Guydelot, with Estinien coming to sit next to her and Demetri. She places a hand on Estinien's leg while leaning her head on Guydelot's shoulder.

"It's good to have you here. What do you think of Thavnair? Oh, and Sephy? I'm not actually mad at you."

Her carbuncle gives a little chirp, while Sanson starts petting her. Guydelot leans his head on top of Ali's.

"This view is beautiful. I know you all went through a lot, but I am glad we didn't have to abandon our homes."

She smiles as Estinien squeezes her hand.

"I am sorry we were late. Trna stopped us on the way. She wants to have another hippo cart race sometime."

Sanson starts laughing as Guydelot's excitement levels rise.

"Really? Can you do it now?! The radio broadcast was fine and all."

"It was great Guydelot."

"Yes, the bunnies sounded adorable Sanson, but imagine an actual bard delivering the story of the intergalatic race for the ages."

Alinea leans forward, looking at Sanson.

"He's not going to let this go is he?"

"Nope."

Estinien laughs, before joining in.

"I do have to say, I was sad to have missed the grand race. But a rematch between the top two participants would be fun."

Alinea sighs, "Not you too."

Her smile however, gives away her own excitement.

"Fine, for you all, I shall do it."

She stands, pulling the rest of the group up with her. Her carbuncles come into step behind her, as she leads the group to Trna.

"After this though, we're getting curry in Radz at Han."

[dxrknessembr8ced]

Meanwhile Antarctica....

Within the coldest parts of Antarctica where Sasquatch along with the rest of his species resides in the bigfoot kingdom everything is indeed at peace every during and after the outbreak until the turmoil kicks in when the mightiest warrior Sasquatch he have sent to stop the glacier from melting but instead he informs the king of the other yetis that they have to leave and find a home before things get worse for he has found the perfect place place for his people to live in prosperity but the king was not having it one big as he now argues with him about leaving their home.

" Leave our homeland? Preposterous I sent you- Our MIGHTIEST hero to determined the cause of the melting of our great foot lands and bring a stop to it! "

Sasquatch explains not only the problem of the glaciers melting but also the reasons as to why they're all doomed to die here.

" I have done my best my king but it's no use! The cause of our own downfall is what has humans call global warming. It cannot be stop for the world around us all is now changing slowly. Worse yet a large monster is coming and I found a new home for us! If we do nor move we wi- "

The sasquatch king got up on his throne in rage pointing at his mightiest warrior as he doesn't believe in both global warming and the so-called large monster heading this way.

" THIS IS SACRILEGE YOU SPEAK OF BOY! OUR PEOPLE DWELL IN THESE SACRED LANDS FOR GENERATIONS TELL I DO NOT BELIEVE THESE MYTHICAL GLOBAL WARMING NOR A LARGE BEAST COMING IM HERE! YO- "

' THOOOMMM! '

He and his people stopped as they look up into the sky hear a loud thoom.

" Hm? What...? "

The loud thooms grew louder as they get louder as if they're the sounds of footsteps. Something massive is coming. He and his people tensed up and try to prepare for the absolute worse thinking the this was such a massive earthquake.

' THOOOMMM! '

' THOOOMMM ! '

' THOOOMMM ! ! '

How wrong they are...

" GRRRREEEEOONNKKK!!! "

The monster Sasquatch has warned about has arrive standing roughly 15 meters tall this massive aquatic hippo like creature is the monster Kabagon. First sighted on the april of 1974 in new zealand by a japanese fishing vessel from mekawa however none has ever realized the Kabagon is actually a juvenile. An offspring a much larger marine mammal. The monster moved fourth into the kingdom not attack but it was curious and shown no signs of hostility whatsoever staring at the sasquatches below it.

A few sasquatches ran and cower in fear while a few others prepare to defend not only themselves but their own people with their very lived waiting for the king to attack as he and Sasquatch stares at the monster with awe and absolute dumbstruck.

" .... "

Kabagon moved forward.

' THOMMM ! '

The monster marched through the bigfoot kingdom ignoring everything in it's path still in curiosity being a juvenile and all that is until he paused and stare at the igloos moving it's head forward staring inside just with one eye as a family of sasquatches are cowering in fear hugging their children in the corner which the king has witnessed which led to the King snap back into reality thinking the monster is harming his people leading him to command them to attack.

" THE MONSTER IS ATTACKING GO NOW ATTACK! RETALIATE ! ! ! "