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Barkos: neighbor's cat likes to sneak into yard/house and lounge on the doofus retriever Jaune. It's the only time Pyrrha gets rowdy, cause she wants cuddles, but stupid smug cat!Neo hogs Jaune's attention.

Ren: *walking Irish Setter!Pyrrha down the sidewalk*

Irish Setter!Pyrrha: *suddenly lunges to the end of her leash, barking furiously* 🤬

Ren: *struggling to hold her back* Pyrrha, what’s gotten into you?! It’s just Cinder’s cat!

Cat!Neo: *smugly sitting on a fence where Irish Setter!Pyrrha can’t reach her* 😏

Ren: *pulling on leash* She’s never noticed cats before, why is she so upset now?!

The previous night…

Irish Setter!Pyrrha/Golden Retriever!Jaune: *sleeping together on the couch* 😴

Irish Setter!Pyrrha: *yawns and hops down for a drink from her bowl* 😋

Irish Setter!Pyrrha: *trots back to her mate* 😌

Irish Setter!Pyrrha: !!!!! 😨

Cat!Neo: *curled up comfortably on top of Golden Retriever!Jaune, happily kneading right in Irish Setter!Pyrrha’s spot* 😊

Ren/Nora: *woken by 100% dog commotion*

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Barkos: Hunting

Ren/Nora: *walking through the dog park with Irish Setter!Pyrrha and Golden Retriever!Jaune*

Irish Setter!Pyrrha: *suddenly sprints to some bushes before freezing on-point* 😶 !!!!!

Ren: Pyrrha…? What’s wrong? Do you smell something?

Qrow: *passed out and snoring in the bushes* 🐦‍⬛ 😪

———————————————————

Nora: *opens door to let her dog in* Jaune what do you have in your-JAUNE NO!!

Ren: *on the phone* Hello, Coco…? I’m so sorry, but it happened again…

Golden Retriever!Jaune: *wagging proudly* 😁

Velvet: *lying on Renora back porch* 😵‍💫

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References

*Jaune piloting the X-Jet while being chased by Fighter Jets*

Scott: Jaune! Go faster!

Jaune: I'm givin' it all she's got capin'!

Rogue: Now ain't the time to be quotin' Star Trek!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Scott: What do you want from me, Jean?

Jean: I'd like the truth, Scott!

Jaune: *From the doorway* You can't handle the truth!

Jean: Jaune! Not now! *Closes the door on his face*

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Scott: And how do you plan on negotiating with Magneto?

Jaune: *Smirks* I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

*Jaune dressed as Victor Frankenstein carrying Baby Magnolia dressed as Frankenstein's monster*

Jaune: *Holds up his daughter* IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIIIIVVVEEE!!!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Jaune: *Flirting with Wanda* You know how to whistle, don't you Wanda? You just put your lips together and blow

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

*The X-Men trying to get down from the X-Wing*

Kurt: Any idea's on how to get down?

Kitty: Nope, what about you, Jaune? *Sees Jaune backing up and getting ready to run* Jaune? What are you-?

Jaune: *runs out of the X-Wing and freefalls* HIPPIE-KI-YAY MOOOTHERFUUUCKER!!!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

*Jaune busting through the door to rescue the New Mutants*

Jaune: Heeree's Johnny!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

*Jaune entering Avenger's Tower*

Jaune: Hot-Diggity-Dog! This place is magnificent!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Jaune: I feel the need...

Scott: The need...!

Jaune/Scott: FOR SPEED!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Jaune: I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SYMBIOTES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANET!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Charles: Don't misbehave out there, Jaune

Jaune: *Smirks* Oh, I aim to misbehave

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Sinister: If you want me, you'll have to kill me

Jaune: Dead or alive, you're coming with me

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Jaune: Rogue, you're bleeding!

Rogue: *Tired but smirks* I... Ain't got time to bleed...

Jaune: *Smirks* I love you so much right now, but I still gotta take you to a hospital

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Jaune: *After seeing himself in his new costume* Groovy~!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Jaune: *After killing a Sentinel* You're terminated fucker!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

*After using Franks Guns*

Jaune: Ugh *Tosses it away* So uncivilized...

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Weiss: Ruby, we're completely surrounded!

Ruby: Oh really, I thought they wanted our autograph!

Blake: is now really the time to argue?

Yang: She's right. Where is vomit boy? he said he was bringing reinforcements!?

Blake: Look, something is coming down the hill!

Weiss: Oh, thank the brothers its rein- *feels a migraine coming on*

Weiss: Oh no, my idiot senses are tingling, this means only two possibilities, and one of them is here with me...so that could only mean...

Team JNOREMN:

Jaune, in the front: Have no fear. This assorted band of highly unlikely friendly unique individuals is here!

Emerald, hanging on one side: You're all insane!

Nora, inside the cart: Sanity is OVER-RATED! WOOOHOOO!

Neo in the cart: *high fives Nora*

Mercury at the back of the cart: We'll beats working for Cinder, I guess...

Ren, inside the cart as well: So how do we stop this thing?

Oscar, hanging on to dear life on the other side: 🤢

The giant cart rode by the group of Grimm and Team RWBY before suddenly a giant crash was heard.

Jaune: We are okay!

Mercury: You're just saying that cause you got Neo, on top of you.

Neo: 😇

Ruby: That was...

Weiss: Now Ruby, I know your disappointment, but we have a battle to-

Ruby: So coooool!

Weiss: ...

Blake: Not gonna lie, that was kinda cool.

Yang: Look at VB go. He needs to help choreograph some entrances like that for us!

Weiss looks at the Grimm.

Weiss: If you please excuse me, foul creatures of the night, I have to leave before my sanity plummets even further.

And with that poor Weiss left, clinging to her last bits of sanity, as Team JNOREMN enters the fray.

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Jaune gives Pyrrha a back massage she ascends.....again

#rwby #RWBYfanart #arkos #blender #blendercycles #meme

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Jaune: (Driving drunken RWBY home)

Yang: (Snickers) Hey, guys, check this out~. (Lights Jaune's hair on fire)

Ruby: Hey, Jaune~! Don't be such a HOT head~!

Jaune: What?

Weiss: Wow, Jaune, you sure look HOT today~.

Jaune: What?!

Blake: Hey, Jaune, Yang set your hair on fire.

Jaune:

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So how did Delinquent Pyrrha and Jaune start dating? How long after was it from Jaune willing to be skull crushed by her thighs?

Delinquent!Pyrrha: *grumpily sitting outside the headmaster’s office for fighting* 😤

Jaune: *student administrative assistant* That redhead is back again…

Jaune: …um…excuse me…?

Delinquent!Pyrrha: 🤨

Jaune: Is there anything I can get you? Are you thirsty or hungry?

Delinquent!Pyrrha: Look, blondie, why don’t you just-

Delinquent!Pyrrha: *stomach growls audibly*

Delinquent!Pyrrha: 😳

Jaune: *holds up his lunchbox* …do you like mac and cheese?

Ten minutes later…

Delinquent!Pyrrha: *laying on Jaune’s lap and munching on a shared bag of chips* …but it’s like, as soon as I showed some skill in combat class every bully and jerk in school started picking fights with me and none of the other girls or teachers would stick up for me so I felt like I had to be tough because I was on my own…! 😭

Jaune: *idly braiding red hair* Well, that’s not fair! Didn’t your parents stick up for you?

Delinquent!Pyrrha: Yeah, but they both work a lot so I have to take care of myself, you know…? And one of the guys who keeps trying to fight me is the headmaster’s nephew so it’s my word against his! 😤

Jaune: …you know…the headmaster’s schedule is only written in pencil…if your disciplinary appointment were erased, nobody would know…! 🤫

Delinquent!Pyrrha: *looks up at Jaune from his lap* What?! You’d do that for me…? 😧

Jaune: *looks away with pink cheeks* I mean…I’m supposed to help other students, and it sounds like you’re being punished unfairly… 🫣

Delinquent!Pyrrha: …

Delinquent!Pyrrha: *grabs Jaune’s collar and pulls him into a deep kiss* 😚 💋

Jaune: 😳

Delinquent!Pyrrha: …

Delinquent!Pyrrha: OHMYGODICANTBELIEVEIDIDTHATYOUREJUSTTHEFIRSTONETOTAKEMYSIDEANDITWASSOSWEETAND-

Jaune: …any chance you’d be willing to meet my family this Thursday for dinner?

Delinquent!Pyrrha: 😳!!!!!!!!!!

Bonus…

Jaune: *sweaty and sitting on a bench* The weight room is not as much fun as Pyrrha said it would be…

Delinquent!Pyrrha: *deadlifts a monstrous amount of weight* 😖

Jaune: *hypnotized by the rippling muscles in Pyrrha’s legs* 😦

Jaune: …I may have a kink.

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J Jonah: PARKER! GET DOWN TO MAIN STREET AND GET ME PICTURES OF THE MUTANT PROTEST!

Peter: Do you want me to take pictures of the counter protests?

J Jonah, disgusted: Those terrible monsters. All those mutants want to do is live their lives without being harassed for what they were born as, and they have the gall to try to counter their outcry for a better life.

Peter:.....but you release hit pieces on Spiderman all the time!

J Jonah, offended: How dare you compare a criminal wall crawling MENACE to those poor people, Parker! I didn't know you were bigoted that way.

Peter: What?! I didn't mean it like-

J Jonah: Enough! I don't want to hear it! Just get down to main Street and get me pictures! *Storms in his office* Miss Brant, new headline for tomorrow's article! "Bigoted monsters harass mutants at main Street!"

Peter: *sighs*

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A challenger approaches.

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Jaune's Shampoo

The Huntsman

"DAMMIT, NORA!" Jaune opened his shower door. As he exited, he noticed his body had drastically changed. Using a mixture of his shampoo and experimental goo found at the fiendish Dr. Merlot's laboratory, Nora had unwittingly created a mutagen just to prank her team leader.

Exiting the shower, Jaune felt very... off. He couldn't quite explain what it was, but for some reason, the entire world felt different. Ignoring this feeling, but keeping it to the back of his mind, he approached the mirror. Everything was the same with him, physically speaking, though he did notice a sort of pain in his body. It was like there was a hole in his chest that couldn't be filled without... something. Pushing this feeling aside, he dried himself off and exited the bathroom.

"Breaking news!" Nora's scroll called out as she lazily watched from her bed. "The first bank of Remnant is being robbed... again! And yes, just like before, it's Roman Torchwick again." Even the newcaster was tired of villains getting away with their crimes. And that was more than enough to make Jaune angry.

"You say somethin', Ja-" Nora looked up to find her leader gone, leaving only a well-written note for her.

WE'LL TALK

--------------------------------------------------

"The least they could do is make this more fun." Roman Torchwick lamented as he watched his goons load another sack of lien into the truck. His partner, Neo, was busy drawing graffiti onto the huntsmen and huntresses sent to stop them. Unfortunately, they all did the same thing the others did before.

"Your villainy ends tonight, Torchwick."

Yeah, that.

Suddenly, the lights went out and Roman could hear his goons getting pummeled by an unknown assailant. Erring on the side of caution, he leapt behind the teller's desk, keeping his hat close to his head. In the dim glow of the emergency light, he saw Neo crouched beside him.

"Boss?" One of the goons called out. "Boss, where'd you- WAAAGH!"

"Gotcha~!" The crime lord called out with glee as he fired his Melodic Cudgel to the balcony, where the shadowy figure was pulling his goon up by his ankle. He was quick to catch fire, though, and was forced to let go, knocking the goon out as he fell. Thankfully, aura does wonders for fall damage. "Take care of him while I lock up the truck, Neo~."

She nodded and disappeared in a shatter of glass. Torchwick slid from his hiding spot and loaded the last of the loot into the truck before shutting the doors. Climbing over the bags, he made his way to the passenger's seat, his driver ready and waiting.

"What are you waiting for? Step on it!"

"Where to, Boss?" The goon asked.

"Where do you think, genius?!"

"Prison." The guy pretending to be a goon answered.

"Oh, fu-"

--------------------------------------------------

"Roman Torchwick is behind bars as well as most of his gang thanks to the actions of an unregistered huntsman." The newscaster said, reporting live on the scene as more goons were hauled away. "The Council of Vale have yet to make a response, though Professor Ozpin, the Headmaster of Beacon Academy had this to say..."

"While it is incredibly noble for anyone to make an attempt to better the lives of those around them, it would perhaps be best to leave such matters to those professionally trained to do so."

"Are you still watching the news?" Ren asked.

"Yeah, I got bored watching cartoons." Nora answered. "Besides, this huntsman guy story is really interesting!"

"Interesting how?" Pyrrha asked. "Vigilantes are a rare occurrence, but not exactly unheard of. Though it has been some time since anyone has seen one in recent years."

"I know, right~?!" Nora squealed.

"Mmngh..."

"Oh, sorry, Jaune!" Nora patted her leader's head. "Poor guy was up all night, doing who knows what."

"The same night that vigilante captured Torchwick. You don't think Jaune is..."

"Oh, Ren, be real! There's no way Jaune is working with that guy! This guy is suave, and Jaune is... Jaune." She then tapped and swiped on her scroll. "Look, even Torchwick's side-lady is making goo-goo eyes at him!"

On Nora's scroll was a letter written in brown, pink, and yellow ink, all glittered, with two words for the vigilante who caught both her boss AND her attention.

WE'LL TALK~.

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1000 posts!

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Guess who Loona saw in the Heaven Embassy?

(This was sometime after “Mission: Orphan Time” … at least in my headcanon.)

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Cinder: *takes aim* 😈

Pyrrha: *on her knees, aura depleted*

Cinder: *releases arrow*

Jaune: *launched upward by Weiss’s semblance* PYRRHA!!

Jaune: *dives in front of Pyrrha*

*arrow ricochets off Jaune’s chest*

Pyrrha: J…Jaune…? How did you know you were arrow-proof…? 😧

Jaune: *glowing white* …I didn’t…! I just knew that you weren’t…! 😦

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Arkos disciplinary technique

Yang: whew! I'm stuffed! Thanks for inviting us to dinner, you guys.

Pyrrha: It is no problem Yang. We enjoy having friends over. You, Blake and your daughter are welcome anytime.

Blake: Ying, why don't play with the others and let the grown ups catch up?

Ying (Bumblebee daughter): Okay, mama. *Gets up and kisses both Yang and Blake on the cheek before leaving the dining room*

Yang: Aw. I wish Ying could stay this sweet forever. I'm just afraid of whats to come when she's a teenager.

Blake: I've been meaning to ask you about that, Pyrrha and Jaune. Your oldest, Pythia, is now 16. How do you discipline her if and whenever she acts up? I doubt either of you are the kind to raise your hand against your kids.

Yang: I'm kinda curious too. Ruby was thankfully easy to deal with. And dad didn't believe in physical discipline either.

Blake: neither did my parents. But I kinda ran away and joined a terrorist group so we're trying to avoid that possibility.

Jaune: Oh, it's actually simple and guaranteed to work.

Pyrrha: J-Jaune! I think maybe we shouldn't-

Jaune: Don't worry, Pyr. So Yang, Blake. Watch. *Calls out to the living room* Pythia? Mind cleaning the dishes?

Pythia (Arkos eldest daughter): Daaaaad! I'm busy talking to my friends on my scroll!

Jaune: Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Hey, Pythia, did you know your mother loves being carried fucked whenever we make love?

Yang and Blake: 😳😳

Pyrrha:🤦‍♀️

Pythia: DAAAD! OH MY BROTHERS! THAT'S GROSS!

Jaune: Oh yeah. Real screamer too. And whenever I rile her up enough, she'll throw me onto the bed and do the Amazon position. I do that by running my hand along her inner thigh during meals or helping her wash when she takes a shower.

Pythia: OMB! FINE! I'LL DO THE DAMN DISHES! JUST STOP!

Jaune: Use that kind of language again and I'll take away your door so you'll hear me and your mother go at it.

Pythia: URGH! IM GOING TO CALL CHILD SERVICES ONE OF THESE DAYS!

Jaune: Ha. Kids these days. **Turns back to Yang and Blake** So yeah, that's my method.

Blake: Well... that's an... interesting way.

Yang: Yeah, psychological torture would be effective.

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Thank you Klein, for taking care of our ice queen

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Tim: (Holding pickle jar) Ngh... Rrgh... Ugh...

Selina: Pickle jar troubles~?

Tim: Yeah... And I'm really craving some right now...

Selina: I saw Jason walking around. You could ask hi-

Tim: NO! You NEVER ask Jason for help with jars!

Selina: Why not?

Jason: MY BIG BROTHER SENSES ARE TINGLING! What's this? A jar of pickles~?

Tim: Wh- What?! Nooo~! Who said anything about pickles? I don't want any pickles~!

Selina: You just said you were craving some right now.

Jason: I KNEW IT! (Takes jar) You dare make my buddy Tim hungry?! You are going DOWN, JAR!

Tim: (Pushes Selina out of kitchen, Ducks) Oh no, no, no, no...

Selina: Uh, what is happening? (Ducks, Dodges cabinet door flying at her)

Jason: (Destroying the kitchen) TASTE! MY! VENGEANCE!

Selina: (Peeks in, Hit by batarang)

BANG!

Tim: (Jar lid rolls to him)

Jason: (Holding open jar and smoking gun) Here ya go, Tim! All you had to do was ask~.

Tim: (Looks around decimated kitchen) Yeah... Thanks...

Jason: (Reaches into jar, Stuck) Huh...? (Grunts as he tries to free himself) OH... YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT, DO YOU~?

Tim: RUN!

Selina: (Runs away, Screaming with Tim)