#indah monanandara

[cits-ocs]

I don't use this acc very often but it's 3 AM rn, I want to ramble about my characters. No pinned post about each of them yet, so I'll use this as an opportunity to get people to know my fellas.

We'll start off with Andres and Indah, my two OCs who I've been focusing on a lot, since a lot happens in their story. I'm going to start from how they were conceived and how they are now.

Back in June 2021, I was reading Legs That Won't Walk, a Korean BL that involved gang members and stuff. I was getting angry from it, because man was it just so toxic but I was like, "I'll make characters that aren't as toxic as them!"

Lo and behold, my 2021 design of Indah and Andres, respectively. (Fun fact I designed Andres off of a picrew I made of him. Indah's hair was just bullshitted.)

Indah back then was just cold, not necessarily apathetic. Like the kinda mean sort of bad boy. Andres stayed the same-ish, he's just a mean goober.

So, we got the designs and personality. Now it's backstory time...

In 2021, I was also sort of interested in human trafficking? It will come into play later, but basically I decided their backstories will be darker than the usual. Like, besides domestic abuse, there's going to be actual crimes.

Their backstories were ROUGH, the worst part is I didn't even have a solid story. Just a stupid vague one and nothing ever stuck, it was just a mist. Since I didn't have a story when developing their backstories, the backstories were more fleshed out than the actual story.

Anyways, let's talk about their original awful backstories, starting with...

Andres P. Matay!

(I removed "Cris" in his name since I ended up having a character whose nickname is Cris.)

He's a Filipino, grew up in the Mindanao part of the Philippines. He had a twin sister, but his dad and mom separated and the mom left to go somewhere and took the sister. So now, it's just him and his dad. They're poor, so his dad had to do multiple jobs to keep them going.

One day, when he was like 13 or so, he came home and saw the police outside his house. Turns out, his dad's been murdering people and using their meat for food. Like, the food Andres ate that contained meat? Yeah, human meat. Now his dad is in jail and he doesn't want to eat meat because he's afraid it's gonna be human meat. So he has no dad now, he's gonna be in the care of social workers.

He was put in an orphanage (or was just a squatter kid. I don't know, I had 2 ideas for this part) and ran away, but then he meets his uncle, who he thought was going to help him. Nah, his uncle kidnaps him. Now here's where my interest in human trafficking came in! He's sent out to be a child soldier.

For some context, in 2017, there was actually this thing called the Marawi war. I was pretty young at the time so I didn't care for it, but the basic gist is there were ISIS terrorists so there was a war in that city.

Andres was supposed to be a child soldier in that war, sent out by ISIS. (There were actually reports of child soldiers in the war) and yeah, long story short, shit horrified him. After the war was over, he had nothing, because the city he lived in is in ruins and he has no relatives to help him. He's skilled with guns so he becomes a criminal, ends up as a hitman. That was his bsckstory.

I made drastic changes lol, because it was just too edgy.

Now it's time for...

Mohammed Indah Monanandara!

(I actually thought "Mohd" was legit just the name but it's just a short version of Mohammed... He wasn't even muslim anymore when he changed his name.)

Okay, this one is like, edgy for the sake of edgy. I'll keep it short because I didn't even think of his backstory as much as Andres.

TRIGGER WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF RAPE OR SEXUAL ASSAULT

Indah is half-Thai, half-Indonesian. Why? I was active in this server during 2021, and one of the people there was Thai and I was watching Nanno too, so I was like "hm Thailand seems cool" but I forgot where the Indonesia part came from, but the Thai part came after Indonesia. Also that friend made me his surname (I just checked now and it's actually spelled "Monanandra" but ehhh...). Anyways he grew up in Indonesia, in Jakarta. He was also born a girl, this comes into play later.

He had a normal family and was a smart student. Until when he was in highschool, his father suddenly got into debt with like a gang. They lost money. I forgot how this ties into the next part, but the next part is one day, Indah gets confessed to by a male classmate of his. He declines. After school, the classmate and his friends found him alone on the school campus and... SA'd him. Then he got pregnant. Then he gave birth to a child (he kept her).

I was inspired by the first episode of Nanno season 2. Spoilers for Nanno, but first ep, Nanno curses this playboy guy to get pregnant. When I saw the stuff, the idea just popped in.

After that part of his backstory, it was really just empty stuff? I had the vague idea wherein he gets trafficked too or something, and then meets this gang leader who helps him out, etc. etc. Now he's a high ranking gang member.

In his revamp, I only kept the first few parts, then just filled in the rest of the empty spots. Why did I keep the SA part even though it kind of felt... weird? Because I have a friend who likes Indah and relates to him because of that. So, I felt obligated to just keep it in.

Ok this post is like very long and took me almost an hour to write.

Fun fact, Monanandara is spelled as "มรอนันตรา" and means "eternal death" which is very cool

Part 2 will be the next

Part 2, I'll mainly talk about how I revamped them and how they are currently compared to their 2021 versions. And I'm going to start tagging my posts with my characters' names

[citsimblr]

save me dilf.... save me .....

[cits-ocs]

Dying because Andres n Indah were originally supposed to be a romance, right? I can't imagine that happening in their canon anymore. Oh well, at least AUs can exist.

Why not? Because I can't picture Indah developing romantic feelings for Andres... at least right now. I don't have character arcs or whatever planned rn, so it's subject to change. But I still can't really imagine it. Because to Indah, Andres is a childish adult with severe mental health issues he keeps denying. But they both connect over the fact that they were SAd before and are trying to recover from it. But they both deal with it very differently.

At most, Indah would see Andres as a close friend whom he protects a lot like his daughter. It's also because I can't really think of how Indah will start opening up emotionally to Andres. Not because Andres is hostile or whatever, but because it's a defense mechanism he built up. It takes time to undo habits yk

Indah only really connected to someone else one time and it was more than a decade ago. It wasn't even supposed to be a real relationship anyway. Well idk what to do with his ex I might just kill her off or something.

So, maybe right now, they stay a one-sided type of relationship. Well they do sleep with each other but both don't see sex as THAT important. Especially not for Andres lol. Probably for the best cuz I don't think it would fit the general vibes of the story that much (there's still action too)

[cits-ocs]

It makes sense that Andres would look up to Indah more since he's the only other positive older male role model in his life, but also he would see him in a sort of paternal light but it fucks him up cuz he developed these romantic feelings for him. But Indah wants none of that because the last thing he wants is for an adult with unresolved issues to depend on him emotionally

[cits-ocs]

what if you draw indah getting crushed by a hydraulic press

Indah has officially been punished for his crimes!

[cits-ocs]

Indah barely uses social media, and the only social media account he has is Facebook, which he made back in like 2007 or something. His current profile picture is probably some landscape or a random object. His cover photo has only changed like twice and the last time he updated it was 2013, either a landscape again or a compressed jpeg of him and Cahaya. He barely posts, like maybe once a year. The only other thing filling up his profile is posts he's tagged in, like posts from friends or from the gym he works at. Dude's profile is just pretty empty it's not worth stalking him because of how little content you get. His Facebook feed is usually filled with his friends' posts, Cahaya's posts, MMA-related things, and other random stuff

He also doesn't have many photos of himself pre-gang. I forgot the exact word for it, but he fet disconnected with himself during his childhood and teenage years, so looking back on old pics is just him like, "I don't recognize who I was here." Anyways, the rest of the photos he has are located in a container that has polaroids, hard drives, and USBs. These days, it's mostly Cahaya taking the pictures during special occasions, because Indah just doesn't do it lmao. It's not like he hates it, he just doesn't really find it necessary.

[cits-ocs]

Imagine if Cahaya's friends try to search her dad up while they're all on a Discord call. Her friends teasing her, one of them started streaming his screen showing Google, and Cahaya's like "nahh there's nothing rlly interesting about my dad though" because all she knows is that her dad was some sort of "delinquent" back in his old days.

Then when they search his name up, there's a link of some news article dating back from like 2005 or something with the headline of like "Indonesian politician found dead in a ditch" and the contents of it talk about Indah's gang and say how the police suspect him the most.

When they go to Google images, the first photo that pops up is his mugshot from the really early 2000s.

And then the call gets quiet when they find out Indah's criminal record after doing some digging.

[cits-ocs]

Indah would give the best hugs tbh

[cits-ocs]

Andres and Indah's exes

I don't think I've talked about their exes in this blog but uhhh it's 11 pm rn I'm too lazy to make introductory posts about them I'm just gonna rawdog this one. This ended up being a ramble instead of me trying to find parallels so...

TW: Suicide, Murder

Both of them have dead exes. Andres killed his ex, Emil. Indah's ex, Aminah, committed suicide. But in both relationships, they loved and valued each other.

The thing is, Andres and Emil have a lowkey unhealthy one. While Indah and Aminah has a fake and one-sided one.

Andres and Emil really, truly, love each other. The problem is that there ended up being this power dynamic that none of them really realized. Andres has severe unchecked mental health issues (bipolar + anger issues), and he depends on Emil a lot. While Emil takes care of him. Doesn't sound unhealthy, but then like, Emil is pretty possessive.

I don't detail it in Andres's canon backstory, but in different AUs, I always characterized Emil as the possessive guy. It fits him, I guess. He wants Andres just for himself and he wants to do a lot with him. Andres allows it because he loves him and also it's consensual anyway.

In the end, Emil betrays Andres's squad and Andres murders him. But then the years after that, Andres constantly misses him. He regrets his actions, because duh he murdered the guy, and because he misses Emil's presence. They just vibe with each other so well. But again, it wasn't the perfect relationship, because Emil's mentally stable and it was his choice to be possessive and subtly put himself at the top. He knowingly made his mentally unstable boyfriend depend on him a lot. It's also because they can't really afford therapy lol.

I guess it's like, Andres realized how much Emil was lowkey manipulative years later. It was the relationship he wanted, that can fill his short term needs, but not the one he needed. He needed someone to actually guide him, not enable him.

As for Indah and Aminah, Indah only realized years after she died how valuable she was to him. He always knew she had a crush on him, but he didn't mind it. The relationship was just fake, no actual love, it was only there so people won't stop bugging them, especially Aminah's relatives.

Indah realized his feelings only after. He loved her, he truly did. The first time he's ever felt that for someone. Because he can relate deeply to her and she was the only one who understood him.

So, it's like, the relationship Indah needed yk. He only realized her importance when it was too late

I really don't know where I'm going with this I just know I'm close to achieving some sort of revelation.

Anyways, Andres is infatuated with Indah because he's the guy he actually needs. Someone who can guide him. But Indah doesn't return his feelings, never will, because he's busy with a kid and doesn't have time to sort his issues out.

[cits-ocs]

Oh god so over the past few days (after watching The Raid 2 and The Night Comes For Us [good movies check em out] and posting on reddit asking for help on preman stuff) my brain has FINALLY been cranking Indah lore, most especially about his gang.

So The Gang™ doesn't have a name yet and the leader doesn't have a name yet either. The gist of this gang is that it's very respectful towards minorities, like racial minorities and lgbt people, and basically people who are shunned by their community/society in general. These kinds of people are desperate for a community to accept them right, and the gang is perfect for that. It's just that you have to follow the leader and do your duties.

You're trans and your family kicked you out? Can you extort a small business? You can? Great, you're part of us now! That's the gist.

The leader is a racial minority himself, he knows how it feels. He's earned all this respect through hard work (AKA doing crazy stuff in the underworld lol) and now he's someone to be feared and a highly respected person among his community.

Not sure how to do a perfect transition to this but also one thing is when you pay the gang to protect you, they actually do protect you. They take their protection services seriously. That's why if you don't pay them in time they're gonna seriously mess you up lol.

[cits-ocs]

Indah watches his daughter in the distance, talking to her friends, making jokes, gossiping, laughing, having fun. She's 16, nearly 17. He always gets reminded of when he was 16 himself; highschool drop-out, pregnant, ridiculed, forced to be in a marriage he soon escaped from, all so his unfortunate incident can get covered up.

Cahaya's the complete opposite of him, opposite in experience too. It's for the best.

But he wonders sometimes where he would've been had everything been different. If his parents weren't so absent, would he have been less apathetic? Would he have been normal?

But Indah isn't the sentimental type. He brushes those thoughts away. What's the use of it anyway, he asks himself.

All he wants is the best for Cahaya. That way, he can finally understand normalcy through her.

[cits-ocs]

Indah will maintain eye contact with you at all times. It's his Dad Habit™

When Cahaya tries to turn her head when he's talking to her, he'll tilt his head to the side to maintain the eye contact.

When it comes to Andres, he'll be more forceful tho. Like, if Cahaya turns away from him, he'll walk in front of her. But if Andres turns away from him, he'll grab his shoulder and force him to turn

[cits-ocs]

Indah's most vulnerable place is his nape. It's also his most sensitive body part. He'll only let the closest people in his life mess with that part. During intimate moments, it's most likely he'll kiss you on your neck area, then it will lead to him kissing near your nape.

[cits-ocs]

furry au cuz it's so much more fun to imagine your characters as anthromorphic animals

Andres would be a rat bc of his stinky rattail. Indah would be a tiger because... idk.

Anyways it's cute to imagine rat Andres squeaking when he's angry

[cits-ocs]

I completely forget Indah was a human trafficker until now. He's just living the father life now tho (and has a silly little gremlin guy with him) (oh and they both have powers)

I have to figure out how that would affect him. I also forgot to figure out his relationship with his "adoptive" father. Gotta give depth to his backstory

[cits-ocs]

Read through some part of the dysphoria bible and my head is cooking with some ideas

What if Indah used to identify as lesbian, because he saw liking men as heteronormative. Like, it's usually boy and girl, but he doesn't identify as a girl, so he goes for women instead. He never really met any gay or queer person or saw good queer media (he grew up in Indonesia.)

Up until years later, after he transitioned, he was like "huh, maybe... it's actually fine for me to like dudes now." and also that's when he realizes he's fine with any gender lol