Theo: sapnu puaS.
Liam: What??
Mason: What language is that.
Theo: Turn your phone 180 degrees.
*Theo was removed from the groupchat*
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Stiles: I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy
Stiles: unless of course, we are talking about my worst enemy, Theo Raeken. Fuck you, Theo Raeken, you know what you did.
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theo: [carrying all the groceries on both arms]
liam: [reaches out to help]
theo: [switches the groceries to one arm to hold liam's hand]
liam: that's not what I- okay.
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the dread doctors: *create a chimera of death whose manipulative skills are beyond human and whose coldheartedness will forever make him indifferent to everyone and everything*
the dread doctors: there is no way our creation will ever know what emotions feel like
liam: *breathes*
the dread doctors: well shi—
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Stiles: You don't understand what Theo's like! He's evil, Scott!
Scott: He's Evil Scott?
Stiles:
Scott: Ohhhh, you mean, "He's evil, comma, Scott." Got it.
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*talking on the phone*
Liam: Remember how I said that Theo and I were gonna out on a date tonight?
Mason: Yeah…
Liam: Well, we’re in jail.
Mason: *hangs up*
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Theo: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Liam: But, Theo, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Theo: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Liam: Is it working?
Theo:
Theo: Yes
Theo: Fuck You my fucking Little Wolf
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Liam: You bought a taco?
Stiles: Yes
Liam: From the truck that hit Theo?
Stiles: Well me starving ain't gonna help him
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Liam: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?
Theo: Probably because I’m a chimera with a long history of violence.
Liam:
Theo: I don’t know how you keep forgetting that
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Liam: Theo, what would you do if I started tickling you right now :D
Theo: I’d kill you.
Liam: Oh.
Liam: *does it anyway*
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liam: *says the absolute dumbest shit imaginable*
theo: god, he’s so stupid. i can’t believe i’m going to fuck him.
scott: …i mean, you don’t have to.
theo: no, i’m gonna.
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