#incorrect seafam quotes

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Kymopoleia: Dad, can I borrow the trident?

Poseidon: No.

Kymopoleia: *silently nudges Percy*

Percy: Dad, can I borrow the trident?

Poseidon: Sure! What do you need it for?

Percy, aside: Uhh... what do you need it for?

Kymopoleia, aside: For the revenge and destruction on humanity and the sky gods and the other ocean gods and-

Percy:

Percy: Actually, you know what dad? I don't need the trident anymore.

Poseidon: I knew I could count on you to be reasonable!

Percy: What if I said I needed to get revenge on someone?

Poseidon: With your moral standards Percy, I know whoever invoked your wrath has it coming. I'd grab some popcorn and a camera and cheer you on.

Kymopoleia: Hey! What about me? The favoritism is real.

Poseidon: Kymopoleia, the last time you had my trident you used it to break Pangea because you were upset Triton took your mother's last crab cake.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

poseidon: I am proud of you. I couldn't have asked for a better child.

percy, looking up: Wait what?

zeus, pissed: poseidon you're suppose to be discouraging this!

poseidon: go in peace child. you're not in trouble. completely coincidentally, and not at all as a reward for that wonderful display, i have decided to pay for all your college fees-

percy: what

zeus, furious: POSEIDON!

percy: *in olympus after accidentally creating a natural disaster and causing mass destruction*

zeus, glaring at poseidon: well? don’t you have something to say to your dear son, brother?

poseidon: er, right. look perseus, what you did was reckless, destructive, and incredibly melodramatic.

percy: *looks down*

poseidon: however, it was also wrong.

[dezyj1205]

Child Percy's Atlantis Adventure Pt. 2

Triton: And then he said he'd help me find Ariel! Amphitrite, staring at the tiny demigod: That was... kind of him. Percy, staring at Amphitrite: ... Poseidon: Ah, yes. Percy seems to really like his older br- Percy, walks up to Amphitrite and stares: ... Amphitrite: Yes? Percy: You're pretty! Can I grow my hair out like yours? And will you do the braids for me?!? Amphitrite, smiling slowly: He's mine. Poseidon: My love, he is... Amphitrite, staring Poseidon down: You do not want your brothers to know about him. Triton would never take him on. He. Is. Mine. Poseidon: ...yes dear

[aroaceleovaldez]

I finally got @incorrect-seafam-quotes and @pjohoo-reclists wrangled and resumed posting, if you want to add them to the fandom infrastructure list? Incorrect seafam quotes is pretty self-explanatory. For the rec list blog, I reblog existing rec lists, make a few of my own and take requests for certain themes and characters.

Added to the list! Thank you! :D

[that-little-fucking-shit]

https://www.tumblr.com/incorrect-seafam-quotes/774861799056097280/kymopoleia-can-i-throw-this-mortal-off-a?source=share

I truly do need to remind her next time to clean off the blood before she trecks it all over the palace- *suffering*

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon: *watches baby Percy run in and out of the waves on Monhawk, and manipulates the waves into chasing him up the beach*

Amphitrite: What are you doing?

Poseidon: Nothing.

Amphitrite, unimpressed: Uh huh. And I suppose that tiny child on the beach playing with your waves is no-one.

Poseidon, nervously: Haha that would be right!

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

Poseidon: Percy. My favorite child. You cannot blackmail Zeus. Believe me, I've tried. The only thing you get is a lightning bolt to the head. One I fear you may not survive.

Percy: I just want him to leave me alone! No more quests! Is that too much to ask?

Poseidon: Percy, you are literally the only hero aside from Hercules that's has a 100% success rate. The average demigod quest success rate is somewhere in the 30-40%. He literally sees it as you're the only one who can get things done in the last 2000 years and he's taking advantage of that while he can.

Percy: goddammit!

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Amphitrite: Why is my ocean steaming?

Triton: Percy is racing Hermes.

Amphitrite: Oh? Well, Percy's a demigod, I'm sure he put in a good effort-

Poseidon, gleefully: He won! That's my favourite son! Won the god of speed in a race!

Percy: Yeah, only because you tried to drown him a DOZEN times and smacked him with the largest tidal wave in the east coast in a century!

Poseidon, waving his hand dismissively: Details, details. You won! I'm so proud.

Triton & Percy, aside: Hey bro, you good?

Hermes, still choking on ocean water: Get Apollo, I think I'm dying.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Triton, pulling Percy into the room with handcuffs on: Look which idiot son of yours got in trouble with uncle!

Poseidon, breaking the cuffs: Trouble with Zeus? Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Triton why didn't you tell me earlier! I swear if he hurt a hair on your head there will be war-

Percy: I'm fine! Please do not start another war. Two is more than enough.

Poseidon: Hmpf. What nonsense is he accusing you of now? I will prove your innocence, don't worry.

Triton: Several counts of breaking and entering, mischief and mayhem, minor property damage and resisting arrest.

Poseidon: For fuck's sake, my idiot brother-

Triton: No, he did it.

Poseidon:

Poseidon: What? Percy?

Percy: Yeah I did it. Bessie was depressed and feeling lonely - did you know they have her in that tank all alone? She's a social creature! It's animal cruelty! So I broke in to spend sometime with her. It took Zeus about five hours to notice I broke into her tank. Olympus's security is shit.

Triton: Olympus's security is literally the best in the entire world-

Percy: I'm sorry, dad. Are you disappointed?

Poseidon, wiping tears: Let me get this right. You caused mischief and mayham in my brother's domain and humiliated his security? Percy, I've never been so proud of you in my whole life.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy: Do we have any salt?

Triton, sarcastically: Little brother, you are quiet literally made of salt and surrounded by it.

Percy, dryly: Hahaha. I meant processed salt for french fries.

Triton: What, you can't convert it yourself? Oh wait - that's right, you can't because you turned down godhood-

Percy: I had a good reason! Many good reasons, actually-

Poseidon, looking distraught: Many?!

Kymopoleia: -Yeah, and how did that work out for you?

Poseidon, aside to Amphitrite: Excuse me, I need to re-evaluate and update my 165 step plan to convince Percy to ascend or accept immortality.

Amphitrite, setting her fork down angrily: What did I say about bringing that up at the dining table? Look - you've upset your father and now he's going to spend the rest of the week throwing hurricanes at Florida.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Amphitrite: Why is there clothes all over this room and sandy foot prints all over the palace?

Percy: Uh... dad said to make myself at home? I'm sorry, it was rude to leave a mess. I'll go clean it up-

Amphitrite, tearing up: You think of Atlantis as home? No - no leave it! It's fine. Just stay here, your father is going to be so pleased. I should bake cookies for the occasion!

Poseidon, gleefully checking boxes off in a list: Step 9 out of 165 to convince Percy to ascend or accept godhood complete!

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy, taking to his siblings: Listen up here you little shits-

Percy: Not you Tyson, you're an angel.

Tyson: Yay!

Percy: The rest of you bastards.

Triton & Kymopoleia: Not-

Percy: And gods.

Triton & Kymopoleia: Dammit.

Percy: Dad is having a hard time recovering from the war. So we are not going to stress him out unnecessarily, okay?

Percy: That means, no eating each other.

Polyphemus: Dammit.

Percy: Or sacrificing them.

Antaeus: Dammit.

Percy: Or creating large storms that damage old or newly repaired parts of the castle.

Kymopoleia: Dammit.

Percy: Or nagging him with non-critical reports about the kingdom.

Triton: Dammit.

Percy: That's it. I will know if you bother him, and I will make you suffer. Any questions?

Tyson: Can I still ask him to read me bed time stories?

Percy: Yeah that's fine, Tyson.

Amphitrite:

Amphitrite, in awe: It's like watching myself in the mirror. I'm so proud.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon: Why are my library floor and walls dry?

Percy: Uhh because I was doing my college homework in the library? I have a lot of homework this weekend so my options were bring it here or just stay in Manhattan and do it there. My textbooks aren't built for ocean water.

Percy: I'm sorry if it's a problem. I should've asked if drying limestone caused any structural issues. I'll just go-

Poseidon, catching Percy by the arm: Did I say it was a problem? No. Not at all! I'm just surprised, and very glad to see you visiting. Stay, stay.

Triton, holding up the crumbling library walls with his powers out of sight: Father, with all due respect are you fucking kidding me?

Poseidon: Shhhh your little brother is studying.

Triton: This favoritism is getting out of hand!!

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Oceanus: I have your son.

Kymopoleia: What? I don't have a son...

Oceanus: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?

Kymopoleia: Oh my god that's Percy!

Oceanus: Yes. If you want him back in one piece-

Kymopoleia: HA! You think you have Percy? Jokes on you: he has you. My little brother has kicked godly ass far more powerful than you. Tell him to hurry up, mom's making lasagna for dinner and if he's late Triton and I WILL eat his share.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon: Why is there a squid in my bathtub?

Percy, covered in soap bubbles: Because you haven't dealt with the deepwater horizon oil leak of 2010 and it's messing up the entire marine biome!

Poseidon: Percy, I need to use my bathtub.

Percy: And your sea creatures need a clean ocean to live in! They're dying out there! You can have your tub back when all the oil is gone.

Poseidon, glares:

Percy, continues scrubbing at the squid without turning around:

Poseidon: Fine. Damn seal-puppy baby eyes getting to me when I can't even see them-

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy Jackson, hiding something behind his back: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with an aquatic creature with the power to raze Olympus?

Poseidon:

Poseidon: What are you hiding behind you?

Percy Jackson: What would you s-

Poseidon: Percy, what’s in the box?

Percy Jackson:

Percy Jackson: I think you know, dad.