#incorrect seafam quotes

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Triton: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don’t care about them.

Percy, deadpan: Really.

Triton: Thank you, Peter Johnson.

Percy: Alright then, discount Hermes.

Triton:

Triton: This was a bad idea.

[dezyj1205]

Child Percy's Atlantis Adventure Pt. 2

Triton: And then he said he'd help me find Ariel! Amphitrite, staring at the tiny demigod: That was... kind of him. Percy, staring at Amphitrite: ... Poseidon: Ah, yes. Percy seems to really like his older br- Percy, walks up to Amphitrite and stares: ... Amphitrite: Yes? Percy: You're pretty! Can I grow my hair out like yours? And will you do the braids for me?!? Amphitrite, smiling slowly: He's mine. Poseidon: My love, he is... Amphitrite, staring Poseidon down: You do not want your brothers to know about him. Triton would never take him on. He. Is. Mine. Poseidon: ...yes dear

[aroaceleovaldez]

I finally got @incorrect-seafam-quotes and @pjohoo-reclists wrangled and resumed posting, if you want to add them to the fandom infrastructure list? Incorrect seafam quotes is pretty self-explanatory. For the rec list blog, I reblog existing rec lists, make a few of my own and take requests for certain themes and characters.

Added to the list! Thank you! :D

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic.

Poseidon: Percy. My dearest and favourite child. You cannot address the council of the gods as cowards.

Percy: But-

Poseidon: Even if they are cowards. Yes, I know. We should've done better in the last two wars. You still cannot do it, because then Zeus will try to smite you. I will stop him. We will fight and likely start world war 3. You might get caught in the crossfire and end up dead.

Percy: But-

Poseidon: Tyson, Sally, Paul and Estelle will all likely get caught in the crossfire.

Percy:

Percy: Fine. I'll use a different introduction.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy: Where's dad?

Triton: Don't worry, I'll find him.

Triton, shouting: Percy Jackson is stupid!

Percy: Hey!

Poseidon, distantly: Percy is the smartest demigod ever! The greatest! Even better than Hercules and Athena's spawns! Whoever said that will taste this trident-

Triton: Found him.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Tyson: THE SEA-FLOOR IS LAVA!

Rhode: *helps Benthesikyme onto the table*

Triton: *pushes Percy onto the floor*

Tyson (narrating): As you can see, there are two types of siblings

Kymopoleia: *using her powers to actually turn the floor to lava*

.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy: Where are your parents?

Tyson: What are parents?

Percy, grabbing Riptide: That’s just about the saddest thing I've ever heard. Someone's negligent ass is going to get kicked today.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon: The sea does not like to be restrained, my son. And you have the sea within you.

Percy: What the fuck is that suppose to mean? Please stop talking in riddles.

~A few years later~

Percy, in botl: *stops restraining himself and triggers a volcanic eruption*

Percy, in hoh: *stops restraining himself and temporarily overpowers a primordial goddess*

Percy: Oh shit he meant that literally

Poseidon, nodding: And I am proud of you.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy: I want you to claim all your children. Every single one of them.

Poseidon: *pictures Anaetus, Kymopoleia and Charybdis at camp half blood*

Poseidon, internally: All the demigods would be dead within ten minutes, maximum and that's only if Percy manages to pit his half siblings against each other. Has Percy forgotten that he's related to them? We spoke about Anaetus last year...

Percy: All demigod children of the gods should be brought to camp.

Poseidon, internally: Ah okay now it makes sense. You worried me for a minute there, child.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy Jackson: I hate to disagree with you, but-

Poseidon: Please son, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do. However I don't mind, and you usually bring up good points so let's hear it.

Percy Jackson: Actually my favorite thing to do is napping in camp half blood's lake but -

Poseidon, lifting his eyebrow pointedly:

Percy Jackson: ... goddammit.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy Jackson: Dad look! I befriended a satyr!! He's very nice and eats aluminum cans so they don't end up in the ocean and hurt my shark friends.

Poseidon: That's very nice Percy! I'm proud of you.

Percy Jackson, a year later: Dad look! I befriended this guy from my school and it turns out he's a cyclops and my brother!! I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Poseidon, wiping tears: Have I told you how proud I am?

Amphitrite: ... Husband, I'm not sure if this behavior is something you should be encouraging.

Poseidon: What are you talking about? Look at him! He's flourishing, safe and happy! His friends will protect him.

Percy Jackson, two years later: Dad look! I befriended this sea creature that has the power to raze Olympus! Isn't she cute?

Poseidon: wAIT-

Percy Jackson, four years later: Dad look! I befriended this Maeonian drakon in Tartarus and she followed me out!! I know she looks scary but she's actually really nice-

Poseidon: HOLD ON A MINUTE-

Amphitrite: I warned you, husband. Have fun explaining to Triton why his people can't leave the safety of Atlantis' borders otherwise they'll get eaten by Percy's millenia old drakon pet.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Triton: I have only had my infant demigod half brother Percy for a day-

Tyson: but if anyone hurts him you'd kill them?

Triton: -and he's already uspered my position as dad's favorite, endeared himself to all of sealife on the east coast to the point where they go to him for help instead of me, and-

Amphitrite, swimming by: Aww, are we talking about my second youngest child? He's such a good little fish-

Triton: -STOLE MY MOTHER!

Tyson:

Tyson: But if someone did try to hurt him-

Triton: *sighs*

Triton: Yes Tyson, if someone tried to hurt Percy I would eviscerate them to the point where regeneration is impossible.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon: The sea does not like to be restrained.

Percy: Ok.

Percy: *fights Ares's godly son, wins and scares him*

Percy: *fights Hades in his own domain, destroys his army and sends Hades fleeing*

Percy: *calls the Olympians out on their bullshit and forces them into an oath on the styx*

Percy: *falls into Tartarus and strangles Akhkys with her own poison*

Poseidon, cheering from the sidelines: I love him so much!! That's my favorite son!!

Poseidon, looking at Athena & Zeus: And if you even think of touching a hair on his head I'll show you who he gets those powers and fighting skills from.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy: I don't get it. Why can't my dad just pick up a phone and call me?

Poseidon: *creates a fountain, gives Percy drachma to make Iris Messages and waits for Percy's call*

Percy: Oh. Thanks for the fountain! Dad's reminding me to stay in contact with my family. Should I call him..?

Percy:

Percy: Nah, the call probably wouldn't get through his spam filters. Do gods even get spam calls? They might. On that incredibly flimsy excuse, I'm gonna call Tyson instead.

Poseidon:

Poseidon, frustrated: This child- he asks for a phone call, and I give him the means to contact me in Atlantis and he doesn't even call me!!

Tyson, barging in: Daddy!! Percy called me from camp half blood! Isn't that great!

Poseidon, eye twitching: Yeah that's great for you Tyson!

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Athena: The boy is dangerous, and a threat to Olympus. I motion that we-

Poseidon: *stands up and slams his trident on the floor*

Poseidon: I've only had Percy for 13 years-

Hermes, aside: Is it really 13 years if he didn't know you existed for 12 of them?

Poseidon: - but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room, Kronos and his entire army and then myself.

Athena: For fuck's sake-

Hermes, gleeful: You know memes!! Percy would be proud.

Poseidon: I hope so. He posted that 'meme' on the bulletin board in the big house regarding Tyson. I was inspired.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Amphritrite: Look at him! He's so cute, sneaking out of camp to help my hippocampi and my other sea creatures!

Poseidon: Yes, I know he's wonderful-

Amphitrite: Aww look! He's helping the ancient one by hand because it's scared of weapons and he can't communicate with it!

Amphitrite: Isn't he the best? We should bring him to Atlantis!

Poseidon: He is, but Sally-

Amphitrite: His mortal mother who kept his identity a secret from him? Blah, I'm stealing him. He's so in tune with my domains! Let your brother upstairs know I'm officially adopting him. He's my baby now!

Poseidon: Wait-