#incorrect seafam quotes

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon: I sense hostility.

Kymopoleia: Good, because I hate you.

Tyson: I don't hate you!

Poseidon: Thank you, my sweet summer child Ty-

Kymopoleia: That's fine Tyson, I can hate him enough for both of us.

Poseidon:

Poseidon: I did say I was sorry for banishing you right?

Kymopoleia: If you're truly sorry THEN WHY AM I STILL BANISHED?!?!

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

poseidon: I am proud of you. I couldn't have asked for a better child.

percy, looking up: Wait what?

zeus, pissed: poseidon you're suppose to be discouraging this!

poseidon: go in peace child. you're not in trouble. completely coincidentally, and not at all as a reward for that wonderful display, i have decided to pay for all your college fees-

percy: what

zeus, furious: POSEIDON!

percy: *in olympus after accidentally creating a natural disaster and causing mass destruction*

zeus, glaring at poseidon: well? don’t you have something to say to your dear son, brother?

poseidon: er, right. look perseus, what you did was reckless, destructive, and incredibly melodramatic.

percy: *looks down*

poseidon: however, it was also wrong.

[dezyj1205]

Child Percy's Atlantis Adventure Pt. 2

Triton: And then he said he'd help me find Ariel! Amphitrite, staring at the tiny demigod: That was... kind of him. Percy, staring at Amphitrite: ... Poseidon: Ah, yes. Percy seems to really like his older br- Percy, walks up to Amphitrite and stares: ... Amphitrite: Yes? Percy: You're pretty! Can I grow my hair out like yours? And will you do the braids for me?!? Amphitrite, smiling slowly: He's mine. Poseidon: My love, he is... Amphitrite, staring Poseidon down: You do not want your brothers to know about him. Triton would never take him on. He. Is. Mine. Poseidon: ...yes dear

[aroaceleovaldez]

I finally got @incorrect-seafam-quotes and @pjohoo-reclists wrangled and resumed posting, if you want to add them to the fandom infrastructure list? Incorrect seafam quotes is pretty self-explanatory. For the rec list blog, I reblog existing rec lists, make a few of my own and take requests for certain themes and characters.

Added to the list! Thank you! :D

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Triton: Last night I found out Percy is a sleep talker.

Poseidon: Oh, really?

Triton: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

Poseidon: What were you doing in his room at 3am? You have your own room. Hell, you have your own palace. Hundreds of rooms. I would know, I helped you design it.

Triton:

Triton: That's not important-

Poseidon, smiling: uh huh. I'm glad to see you bonding with your little brother.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic.

Poseidon: Percy. My dearest and favourite child. You cannot address the council of the gods as cowards.

Percy: But-

Poseidon: Even if they are cowards. Yes, I know. We should've done better in the last two wars. You still cannot do it, because then Zeus will try to smite you. I will stop him. We will fight and likely start world war 3. You might get caught in the crossfire and end up dead.

Percy: But-

Poseidon: Tyson, Sally, Paul and Estelle will all likely get caught in the crossfire.

Percy:

Percy: Fine. I'll use a different introduction.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Triton: What the hell was that?

Percy: *starts swimming towards the disturbance* Only one way to find out!

Triton: Wait a minute! You don’t go TOWARDS the suspicious shockwaves! What if it's Oceanus? We should get father-

Percy: Yes I do, Triton. I've been on 6 quests and ton more battles, wars and missions. I always do. You get dad. I'm going to go investigate.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Tyson: I made new armor for Percy!

Percy: That’s so cool, buddy. Thanks!

Tyson: It'll save your life someday.

Percy: I don't doubt it.

Poseidon: Did you make anything for me?

Tyson: I got you a shiny rock!

Poseidon, tearing up: I'll treasure it forever, my child.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon: I love all my children.

Percy, snorts: Sure you do. Do you even remember all our names?

Poseidon: Yes! I'll list them for you from oldest to youngest-

*3 days later*

Poseidon: -Percy Jackson, and Tyson. That's all of them.

Percy: I am both impressed and horrified that it took you 3 days to finish, just listing names. Or did you take a break to make it seem like you have more kids?

Poseidon, who went to lay flowers at the graves of his dead children when Percy went to sleep: Oh yeah, no. I took a break when you fell asleep! That was totally it, uh huh.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon: Family meeting!

Triton: Didn't we agree not to have these anymore? Remember how many of the younger ones were killed last time?

Tyson, scared: Killed?

Percy, pulling out Riptide: Don't worry Tyson, I'll protect you.

Polyphemus: Ha, you think you can beat me?

Antaeus: And me?

Kymopoleia: And me?

Poseidon: Family meeting cancelled. Immediately!

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Percy: Dad?

Percy: Dad?

Percy: Dad!

Percy:

Percy: *travels to Olympus and sits on Poseidon's throne* DAD!

Poseidon: *throughly shaken after getting startled and nearly accidentally smiting his baby*

Poseidon: Percy, you cannot sit on my throne. Please. What if I hadn't looked before sending a smiting force? You nearly gave me a heart attack. You must never do this again.

Percy:

Poseidon: What do you want, child?

Percy: Hug?

Poseidon, teleports to Olympus and picks Percy up off his throne: Hug it is.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon: Alright, family photo time. Everyone, smile!

Percy: *grins awkwardly while half leaning on Poseidon*

Tyson: *holds up a giant shield he designed*

Triton: *glares because he has work to do and doesn't have time for the 294563204705th family picture*

Kymopoleia: *summons an underwater cyclone in the background*

Amphitrite: *facepalms*

Poseidon: Everyone is in character. Beautiful. Another one for the album.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Triton: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don’t care about them.

Percy, deadpan: Really.

Triton: Thank you, Peter Johnson.

Percy: Alright then, discount Hermes.

Triton:

Triton: This was a bad idea.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon: I know I've made some mistakes, but I think overall I've been a good father.

Percy: At any given moment at least half of your children are either trying to catabolize their siblings, children of the other gods or mortals. A good percentage of them are homeless to-

Poseidon: ... right, I forgot about those ones. But have I been a good father to you, at least?

Percy: ... you do realize that I was one of your homeless children? Your sister kidnapped me and forced me to live on the streets for two months.

Poseidon: I tried to help you! I sent everyone I could spare to try and bring you home, including Tyson and one of my baby sea monsters!

Percy: You sent the sea monster? I thought it was trying to eat me!

Poseidon: ...I see I have a lot of work to do before calling myself a good father.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon, slamming his trident on the table: We need to have a serious conversation about discipline in this family.

Amphitrite: Ha, that's rich coming from you, husband.

Percy, triggered with childhood trauma: I don't know what I did wrong, but I'm sorry. I'll try to fix it.

Tyson, also triggered with childhood trauma: Please don't kick me out, I really don't want to be homeless again.

Triton: I'm literally doing your job for you, running your city and doing diplomatic relations to get Olympus to help repair your kingdom. What more do you want?!

Poseidon: Wha- no! None of you four have done a single thing wrong in your lives. You're perfect. I'm talking about the rest of you.

Polyphemus, in the midst of eating satyrs:

Antaeus, in the midst of sacrificing Poseidon's weaker children:

Kymopoleia, in the midst of destroying a section of Atlantis:

Kymopoleia: Time to run?

Polyphemus and Antaeus: Agreed.

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Oceanus: I have your son.

Kymopoleia: What? I don't have a son...

Oceanus: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?

Kymopoleia: Oh my god that's Percy!

Oceanus: Yes. If you want him back in one piece-

Kymopoleia: HA! You think you have Percy? Jokes on you: he has you. My little brother has kicked godly ass far more powerful than you. Tell him to hurry up, mom's making lasagna for dinner and if he's late Triton and I WILL eat his share.