#incorrect lahey bros quotes

[theocanhavemyheart]

Liam, running into the living room: Have you seen my top?

Jordan, not looking up from his book: Theo’s in the kitchen.

[spookyblazecoffee]

Isaac: Liam, I know you snuck out to see Theo last night. Liam: If you tell Jordan or Camden, I swear I’ll murder you, and they’ll never find the body. Isaac: Five bucks? Liam: Fine.

[sciencey-winecy]

Isaac: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Erica: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Boyd?

Boyd: Probably “road work ahead”

Derek: I speak many languages, and this is none of them

[spookyblazecoffee]

*If Camden didn’t die* *In a group chat*

Jordan: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Liam and Theo's convo? Camden: Me. I'm in the laundry basket. Isaac: I'm in the washing machine. Tara: I'm in the closet. Camden: We accept you Tara. <3 Tara: No I'm literally in the closet. Camden: Love is love. <3

[spookyblazecoffee]

Isaac: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK. Liam: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG. Tara: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO. Jordan: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins. Theo: Looks like someone's a HO. Liam: NaBrO. Camden: I'm done with all of you!

[spookyblazecoffee]

Kid Liam, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! Kid Isaac, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids. David *Newly a step-father for Camden, Jordan, Isaac, and Liam while very confused*: What are you guys doing? Kid Liam: Playing systemic oppression. Teen Jordan: Ooh, can I join? Kid Isaac: Yeah! Anyone can! Go ask Cam to as well! Teen Camden *walking by the door*: Yeah, I think I’m good. 

[spookyblazecoffee]

Liam & Isaac in the back of Camden's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! Jordan: We have food at home. Camden: *pulls into the McDonald's drive thru* Liam & Isaac: YAYYYYYY! Camden: *orders one black coffee and leaves*

[spookyblazecoffee]

Isaac: *falls down the stairs* Camden: Are you okay? Jordan: Stop falling down the stairs! Liam: How’d the ground taste?

[spookyblazecoffee]

*If Tara and Camden didn’t die*

Camden to Tara, who’s about to get married to Cora: Today, two families are becoming one. Theo, in an ominous voice: Two families enter, one family leaves. Jordan: That sounds so threatening… Isaac: The Wedding Games… Liam: May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor. Tara: Beautiful. Camden: Fuck all of you!

[spookyblazecoffee]

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread* Jordan: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife. Camden: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful. Isaac: It’s useful if you want information. Liam: Why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

[spookyblazecoffee]

Camden: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. Isaac: Ridiculous. Give me some examples. Jordan: Wasps? Liam: Terriers? Camden: Liam.

[spookyblazecoffee]

Liam: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective? Jordan: *crouches down* Isaac: *kneels down* Camden: *sits on the floor* Liam: Liam: I hate all of you.

[spookyblazecoffee]

Jordan: Where's Liam? Isaac: Don't worry, I'll find him. Isaac, shouting: Camden sucks! Liam, distantly: Camden is the best person ever! Fuck you! Isaac: Found him.

[spookyblazecoffee]

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* Theo: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Camden: ...I did. I broke it. Theo: No. No you didn't. Liam? Liam: Don't look at me. Look at Jordan. Jordan: What?! I didn't break it. Liam: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Jordan: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Liam: Suspicious. Jordan: No, it's not! Isaac: If it matters, probably not, but Tara was the last one to use it. Tara: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Isaac: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Tara: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Isaac! Camden: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Theo. Theo: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Isaac: Theo... Liam's been awfully quiet. Liam: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* Theo, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. Theo: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Theo: Theo: Good. It was getting a little nice around here.

[spookyblazecoffee]

Tara: Dumbest scar stories, go! Theo: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Jordan: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned. Liam: I have a piece of graphite in my leg from accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Camden: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Isaac: I have emotional scars.

[spookyblazecoffee]

Mason: I can be your partner for the next race. Isaac: Sorry, Mason. It's a sibling race. Liam: Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this. Isaac: It's only children, Liam. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you!