#incorrect holostars quotes

[incorrectholostars]

Jurard: Do you wanna see how hardcore I am?

Jurard: *Punches the wall*

Jurard: Take me to a hospital

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

Bettel: Lesbian rights? I will say that. You see, uh, back in high school when I didn't have a huge ego, a lesbian referred to me as "actually pretty funny."

[incorrect-hololive]

Vesper, cowering in fear: What do you want from me?!

Baelz, standing in front of Vesper: [bites into the whole KitKat bar like a heathen]

Vesper, crying: Please...stop...

[helshollowhalls]

Yagoo: So how are all of you doin-

Holotempus: *all crammed into room 2 with a bunk bed, a coffin and a dog kennel*

Yagoo: What the- Why are you all in room 2? There are like 3 other rooms completely empty!

Magni: Room 4 is haunted

Vesper: I actually spend most of my time under the floorboards in the hallway and only come in here to sleep occasionally

Regis: Axel is usually passed out in his dog bed in the living room

Axel:

Axel:

Yagoo: Okay... *slowly walks out of the house backwards, closes the door and never returns*

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

Bettel: Everybody out of the goddamn way! I've got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis and a head full of empty!

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

Bettel: Th- this is art here. I'm doing it right now. This is performance art. You guys don't understand? This - this is a living painting that you're seeing.

Bettel: Michelangelo, Leonardo, da Vinci, they're all dead. I REMAIN! You understand? I remain, as a performance artist!

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

Axel: Four-leaf clover! Make a wish.

Selen: Wish you weren't so fuckin' awkward, bud.

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

Bettel: Oh my god, Axel? Can you come here for a minute?

Axel: Oh no, Axelotl, what did you do to your gills?

Axelotl: (with a few gills missing) I found scissors!

Axel: Give me those! (takes scissors) These are NOT toys!

Bettel: Axelotl, where's your buddy?

(door opens to reveal a smaller Axelotl with several limbs cut off, all smiles)

Bettel: Oh my god...

Axel: It's fine, it's just his arms! And a leg. They'll grow back!

Bettel: But we're taking pictures tomorrow!

Axel: No problem! We'll just... uhh... (cuts off remaining leg) There. Now they're evened off.

(Bettel facepalms as the first Axelotl applauds)

Axelotl: Mazel tov!

Axel: That's his foot, big guy.

(Source: Natural Habitat Shorts)

(Fun fact: Axolotls are able to regrow their limbs, tail, gills, brain, and heart in just a few weeks!)

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

[Scene: A half-asleep Altare stumbles into the guild hall kitchen to get a glass of water and sees Vesper and Magni huddled over a phone, watching something and intensely whispering to each other. He moves closer to listen.]

Magni, hissing: Are you crazy? They have a single female servicing a large group of males. That implies an egg-laying species!

Vesper, arguing back: How stupid can you get? I’ve told you that they’re mammals!

Magni, no longer whispering and on the verge of yelling: Then how the fuck do they have such a large number of individuals? They’re clearly reptiles!

Vesper, actively yelling: For God’s sake, Dezmond! Papa Smurf has a beard! Of course they’re mammals!

Altare: *immediately swivels on his heel to go back to bed*

[incorrect-hololive]

Hakka: Uh… Bettel, what are you doing?

Bettel: gonna challenge Polka-senpai to a duel. gonna call it clown on clown violence.

[incorrect-hololive]

Vesper, near tears: Please, Baelz-senpai, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

[incorrect-hololive]

Vesper, DM-ing a game of Dungeons & Dragons: The tension is palpable.

Magni: I palp the tension.

Vesper: Fuck you.

[incorrect-hololive]

Axel: (playing the sims)

Noir: Are you having fun?

Regis: Yeah, did you make us? That would be so cute!

Axel: (turns laptop to show a house on fire and several sims trapped in a pool)

Magni: …so you’re definitely having fun, then.

[incorrect-hololive]

Magni: Listen, smile, agree.

Magni: And then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway.

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

[Scenario: Team Snakebite playing Apex Legends]

Altare: You know, I could’ve taken that guy out if I’d hit him just a few more times.

Selen: A few more times? How about one time?!

Altare: Well, I think I landed at least two or three shots.

Selen: Yeah, right.

Altare: You didn’t hit anything but the wall.

Axel: How would you know? You were running straight backwards.

Altare: This is a long-range weapon, okay? I need distance to use it effectively.

Axel: Where were you planning on shooting him from, the moon? If you’d have backed up any further you’d have had to mail him the bullets!

[incorrect-hololive]

Ollie: I wish I had the ability to make boys really nervous

Anya: Holding a really sharp knife to their neck usually does the trick for me

Astel: As a boy, I can confirm this makes me really nervous.