#incorrect hlvrai quotes

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

JOHN: rose can you tell me a bedtime story?

ROSE: sure. settle in. once upon a time there was a man named dave

ROSE: dave edited wikipedia with incorrect information.

ROSE: and you know what happened to him?

ROSE: he got stabbed.

ROSE: do you get the moral of the story?

JOHN: no

ROSE: goodnight, john

[headcanons-phb]

Helpi: Cassie, look out! There are explosives in this room.

*Roxy rushes in before Cassie and quickly detonates the pyrotechnics, leaving nothing but a scorch mark on the floor*

Roxy: not anymore!

Helpi: Fine work, Roxanne, you disarmed the explosive!

Cassie, hear ears still ringing: ...you guys are like wind up toys...

[incorrect-web-novels]

Wei Wuxian: I have a son. That’s A-Yuan.

Jiang Cheng:...Looks a bit shit.

[platonically-loving-alastor]

Gun

Alastor: *points gun at Angel* Angel: Please don't point that at me. Alastor: I'm not pointing it at you. I'm indicating that I have a gun, and that you should continue looking at me. Angel: That sounds like a weird threat, and I don't know why you're giving it to me. Alastor: I wouldn't threaten you, Angel. Unless you give me reason to. Angel: Yeah, we're good right now, right? Alastor: ... Right now.

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Dharkon: *incomprehensible eldritch white noise as he holds up Duck Hunt Duo in his tentacle*

Greninja: Mewtwo that's french for he's going to kill the dog!

[wheatley-imagine-scenarios]

Positivity

Wheatley: You can do it, Chell! But if you can't, at least your death will be quick, painless, and really cool to watch!

[metal-lobster]

Gordon: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Dr. Coomer: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Bubby: I personally was created in a lab. Benrey: I just straight up spawned lol.

[tf2-incorrect-quotes]

Spy: Don’t- stop-

Spy: What are you doing?

Soldier: You heard the man! Don’t stop!

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Karkat, on the verge of tears: GAMZEE, TALK TO ME, PLEASE

Gamzee: UhHhH....

Gamzee: Do YoU wAnT a SoDa?

[the-incorrect-quotes-show]

Lunar: Oh my god, what is that thing?!

Lunar: I've never seen something like that! There's no article about that on Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia!

Sun: The free online encyclopedia that anyone cat edit?!

Lunar, with his brothers behind him: My clones, Monty!

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Panda King: Cooper, how old are you?

Sly: Old enough to know better. Let's go!

[Sly immediately falls.]

Panda King: Oh... oh no.

[skelkankaos]

Feetman: me after smoking half a bowl and drinking one bourbon on a weeknight

Freemind: me after taking yak tranquilizers in a berlin warehouse

Speakman: you need to change your life styles or you might pass away .

[headcanons-phb]

*the group approaches a gap in the floor*

Roxy: careful with the hole.

Gregory: I know where the hole is, I'm gonna mind the hole.

*Gregory easily jumps the gap in the floor*

Gregory: "easy as pie" as Freddy would say.

Roxy: Gregory, I said be careful with the hole.

Gregory: yeah, I was totally careful, that was easy.

Roxy: the hole, Gregory!

Gregory: stop saying my name, just be quiet for one moment...

Roxy: Gregory! The hole!

*Gregory moves ahead*

Roxy: I warned you.

*a patch of floor gives out under Gregory as he walks over it, causing him to fall in unexpectedly.*

Roxy: THE HOLE YOU IDIOT!!!

Freddy, peering down into the hole: Gregory, be careful, there's a big hole!

[forest-of-shrooms]

This post exists purely for myself to find everything on my own blog. I already know I‘m forgetting some tags as I‘m writing this and will add them later. Just ignore it.

Have a cute pic of my cat as an apology:

[angstandhappiness]

PFFT LMAO ACCURATE

Hokuto, showing a picture: I have a son. This is Hiro.

Gulusgammamon: Looks a bit shit.

[angels-heap]

we get it, you hate hlvrai. how about instead of being bitter you let people enjoy things. fr whats the point of gatekeeping a 20 year old game?

Look, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you didn't live through the 2020 fandom bullshit, because if you'd witnessed it, even peripherally, you would not have felt compelled to send this ask. So, a few things you should know:

I don't actually hate hlvrai! I genuinely enjoyed the series and still quote it regularly. I even used to enjoy some of the fan content, before the fandom exploded in popularity and there was a huge influx of mostly of very young fans (fine, but not my scene) who wanted me and most of my friends to die (bad; see below).

I'm not dreading more hlvrai content; I'm dreading the potential fallout within the fandom. Canon tags flooded with unrelated content. Wildly OOC characterizations of canon characters based on similar characters in an unrelated series. Endless racism discourse that somehow manages to affect everyone except the tiny fraction of fans who are actually being intentionally racist. Pushback against mature content for an M-rated game because "there are kids here now!!" Ship discourse. Death threats and endless harassment related to the ship discourse. Being accused of being a child predator and threatened with doxxing for shipping two grown adults in a different fandom.

A lot of really lovely people were driven out of the canon HL fandom because of bullshit instigated by hlvrai fans who either didn't know anything about the canon series, didn't care, or were learning incorrect information through "fandom telephone" and decided to take it upon themselves to rid the internet of anyone who didn't ship canon Gordon with their benrey-fied version of Barney "the right way." Can you really blame anyone for not wanting that to happen again?

Honestly, as long as the new content doesn't include too much conflicting lore/characterization related to canon HL characters and the fandom manages to behave itself, I'm excited to see more people get into Half Life. A lot of my current favorite HL artists and writers got into HL through hlvrai. This doesn't have to be a shitshow, but I don't think it's unreasonable to worry that it might become one.

TL;DR: Nobody really wants to "gatekeep" a 20 year old game series. We just want to be able to continue talking about the series and creating fanworks without being bombarded with unrelated content, death and doxxing threats, and baseless accusations that could ruin our actual, offline lives.