#incorrect gentleman jack quotes

[six-paths-of-jeanmarco]

Jean: I'm going to take a hot shower

Jean: It's like a normal shower, only with me in it

[incorrect-gentleman-jack]

Anne Lister: So. Who broke the coffee machine? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Ann Walker: I did. I broke it.

Anne Lister: No. No, you didn’t. Marian?

Marian Lister: Don’t look at me. Look at Father.

Jeremy Lister: What?! I didn’t break it.

Marian Lister: Huh, that’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Jeremy Lister: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Marian Lister: Suspicious.

Jeremy Lister: No, it’s not!

Aunt Anne: If it matters, probably not… Marian was the last one to use it.

Marian Lister: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Aunt Anne: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Marian Lister: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Aunt!

Ann Walker: All right, let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it.

Anne Lister: No. Who broke it?

Jeremy Lister, whispering: Aunt Anne has been awfully quiet…

*Everyone starts arguing*

Anne Lister, aside: I broke it. I burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[nameless-flame]

Incorrect Quotes #38

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[Name]: Fuck!

Jack: We've got to work on your cursing.

[Name]: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

Jack: My fair lady/gentleman, that was not what I meant-

[sonicstargaming]

Brezzihaly Incorrect Quotes

(Sees somebody hit Brezziana)

Jack Rose: (hands Mihaly a shotgun) Go. Do a crime.

Mihaly: (cocks the shotgun) YIPEEEEEE!!!!

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Brezziana: Gentleman, gentleman! Let’s be civil about this. Let’s make a deal! You surrender, and you don't die, how does that sound?

Swan Soldiers: HaHa, and how do you intend to kill us?

Brezziana: Oh no, I can't kill you, but my partner can. Say Hi partner!

Panda Mihaly: (standing behind the Swan Soldiers) Hi

[issy5316]

criminal case incorrect quote 29

jack: Here comes Elliot, our resident 5.

elliot:'rolls his eyes'

Jack: and Carmen, a solid 8 because if I don’t say that, she will kill me.

Carmen: got that right.

Jack: and Lars, a solid 7, very nice.

Lars: sweet

Jack: oh, and here is Jonah, a very clear 2, ladies and gentleman.

Jack: might even be a 1.

Jonah: And here is jack, a negative 12.

[cynicalrainbows]

Anne: So Adney and I-

Jeremy Lister: What’s Adney?

Anne: Oh, it’s like a nickname. For Ann. Anyway, Adney and I-

Aunt Anne: Anne! Stop trying to make Adney happen, it’s not going to happen!

[incorrectgentlemanjack]

Anne: What am I allergic to?

Marian: Pine nuts. And the full spectrum of human emotion.

[employee645-gay]

I need help!

‘Tis high time for incorrect and out-of-context quotes! Gentleman Jack + Ferris Bueller’s Day Off 

[waytooinvested]

Anne: It’s very kind of you, but unfortunately Ann here doesn’t much like alcohol. Ann: Except peach schnapps. Catherine Rawson: Oh, I think we’ve got some ... Anne (interrupting): ... which, as she’ll remember, she’s never allowed ever again. Ann: That’s true. I’m not. Catherine Rawson: Why not? Anne: Have you seen the film Gremlins? Catherine Rawson : Yes. Anne: Peach schnapps is to Ann as water is to gremlins. Ann (confidentially): I was terrifying!

[psychedelic-platypus]

Anne: Ann, you've gotta have good thoughts...

Anne: ...Cupcakes, rainbows...

Anne: Little, cute, furry...

Anne:...

Anne:...ah, I'm done.

Ann: Thank God.

[somebody-already-took-this-url]

Anne: Having a crush on a girl is all fun and games until you realize she's everything you've ever wanted and more and you're not sure you can live without her

Anne: not that that's ever happened to me, nor will it ever happen, obviously,

Ann: *smiles*

Anne: [squinting into the sun to burn away the tears of Emotion™ she can't allow herself to shed] I feel nothing

[jvmesart]

Anne: I like one and only one thing about men.

Anne: Their wives.

[chedelat]

ann, coming to shibden hall: so you come here often

anne: this is my fucking house-

marian: no she doesn't

[iwants0up]

Anne: What is a "man's job"?

Marian: I dunno, things like-

Anne: Okay, so nobody knows what a man's job is, and yet I am constantly told I am doing such. How in the world - if you have no inkling what it is - can you tell that I am doing a man's job?

Marian: Well, I mean, it is the things you do really. Like-

*Ann enters the room*

Anne: Her.

Marian: What? What about her?

Anne: I do her.

Marian: ...That is a man's job, Anne.

Ann: No it isn't.

[senny-c]

Anne lister's uncoded dairy entries: I woke up and had breakfast. Later I went for a walk.

Anne lister's coded entries: lol i fucked miss ann walker so hard that she whispered she loves me also she gave me some of her pubes. i asked her to marry me so we're going to move in together. also i masturbate all the time

[incorrect-gentleman-jack]

Anne Lister: I'll have kids as soon as I get tired of having free time.