#incorrect daiharu quotes

[huachengslastbraincell]

Daisuke: Can’t you at least try and look at things from my point of view?

Suzue and Haru: [Crouches down to Daisuke's height]

Daisuke: I hate you both.

[bsdtual]

Daisuke: Be gay, do crimes, and fvck the police!

Haru: we are tHE POLICE!!

[viva-la-rivailleucion]

Daisuke: How much is the horse tornado?

Haru: T-that’s a carousel.

Daisuke, already utilising HEUSC: I must have it.

[h0m0phobia-is-gay]

Haru: Do you take constructive critism?

Daisuke: I only take cash or credit.

[daisukes-creditcard]

daisuke: This tea tastes exquisite and exotic, what is it called?

haru: I call it, boiled gatoradé

[thisismytrashok]

suzue: ...and as for the design of the parachute I'm uncertain... It looks plain! I thought about adding a character describing Daisuke's best character traits.

haru: This is is easy, he only has one.

[shuotaizawa]

fkbu episode 3

expectations: two bros going on a trip to hong kong and spending 𝓆𝓊𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓎 time together

reality: sugar daddy introducing his sugar baby to his grandma. they also defuse a hostage situation together like an off-brand Mr and Mrs Smith

[evieonic]

Haru: God, give me patience.

Daisuke: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Haru: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

[onabikaa]

Daisuke, bombing up even more criminals: i love arson

Haru, desperately trying to rescue the poor criminals: but we don’t have a son????

[supremekingofsalvation]

[In a meeting]

Daisuke, whispering: pshh

Haru: ???

Daisuke, still whispering: your ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it

Haru: leAVE ME ALONE

[moodysnowflake]

Haru: *crawls up over Daisuke to peek down below* What are we going to do?

Daisuke:

Haru: *pushes slightly to stretch and have a better look*

Daisuke: *presses back, frowning*

Haru:

Daisuke: *squints* Is THAT your gun?

[huachengslastbraincell]

Haru & Daisuke: *Playing Among Us*

Daisuke: *In chat* Vote for Haru's Color.

Haru: What?? Why me??

Daisuke: You’re pretty sus for stealing my heart.

Haru: *Haru Was Not the Impostor* I hate you.

[fugou-keiji-shitposts-unlimited]

“Eat the rich”

-Haru Katou, at least twice a day

[one-hell-of-otaku-is-here]

(Haru and Daisuke are playing Monopoly)

Haru before playing: I would like to make one thing clear Daisuke. I fucking hate capitalism and this game is not going to change my opinion on this

Haru playing Monopoly: *takes Daisuke’s most expensive hotel* Sorry if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor

[13075]

fkbu au where everything is the same but every time haru calls daisuke bastard, he calls him pretty bastard

daisuke: can u believe i just arrested these two criminals and i only have to spend 20 billion?

haru, massaging his temples: you pretty bastard... get out before i strangle you

daisuke:

haru:

daisuke: did you just call me pre—

haru: GET OUT

[hanazuku-kun]

Haru: if I had a coin for every time I ended up hanging from a bridge, I would have 2 coins. Which isn’t much but it’s weird that it happened twice.