#incorrect apex legends quotes

[kim-write-jin]

Wattson: Revenant, when’s your birthday?

Revenant: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?

Wattson: …So I know when to wish you a happy birthday.

[1andxrea1tge1bisexual1here1]

Dempsey : Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Richtofen : >:O language

Andi: Yeah watch your fucking language

Octane: OKAY WHO TAUGHT ANDI THE FUCK WORD?

Douma : 'The fuck word'.

Louie : Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Andi: Oh my god they censored it

Douma : Say fuck, Louie .

Andi: Do it, Louie . Say fuck.

[boozlemylove]

Bloodhound : "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." Revenant: … Revenant: What a stupid fucking quote. Revenant: I'm killing way more than two people, idiot.

[marvelatthismess]

Viper: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference. Viper: Anyways, you said Kairi is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

[catalystsimp]

I found this gem so I just had to turn it into an incorrect quote thing I'm sorry it was too perfect to pass up

[howdoesthisappwork]

Ash: I think we should kiss.

Mary: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.

[mamasplat]

ash: Why are you like this??

revenant: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

[smallfry15005]

Baby Kairi: Can we get ice cream?

Blisk: Did you ask your dad?

Baby Kairi: He said no.

Blisk: Then why did you ask me?

Baby Kairi: He’s not the boss of you

Blisk, internally: It’s a trap. It’s a trap. It’s a trap.

[apex-legends-never-die]

Young Bloodhound: Oh no! My parents! They’re frozen!

[linklovepage]

Mad Maggie: All of you betrayed me and you are the definition of dismay

Lifeline: What happened…

Mad Maggie: Walter ate my fucking garlic bread

[sharkaiju]

Fuse: Whoa, for a minute I thought you were gonna kill me!

Bloodhound: So did I.

[kim-write-jin]

Bangalore: There are three chairs and five kids. What do you do?

Lifeline: Get two more chairs.

Rampart: Cut each chair in half to make six.

Mad Maggie: Make them FIGHT for their seats!

Wraith: I would never be near children.

Revenant: Get rid of two kids.

[lilcooldude04]

Bloodhound, grasping Artur in their hands: Hold bird gentle like hamburger.

[boozlemylove]

Fuse: Good morning! Bloodhound, checking their watch: Correct.

[marvelatthismess]

Ash: This is Viper, they’re… not my assistant, some other word. Viper: I’m their carer. Ash: Yeah, my carer. They care so I don’t have to.

[thqtoneweirdo]

ive been meaning to do this for a while

Octane: Yo, crafting over here.

Lifeline: What level is it?

Octane: ¿Qué?

Wattson: Oui, I too would like to know the level of the crafting.

Octane: ...

Octane: Wait a second, I know-

Lifeline: Ţ̶̱̤͓̼̦͎̫̝͔̰́̕E̷̢̨̨̮͖͇͚͎͕̍͋͌̀̚̕͘͡ͅͅL͉͉̥͇͍ͥ̃ͮͮ͆̉̊̚͢͝͡͞L͚̫̠͚͉̱̖̇̄ͧ͑͌ͩͣͥ ̘̦̹͇̪̍҉U͍͕̣̩͔̙̯͖̱̦̔͌̋̉ͪS̷̠͎͓͈͎̭̜̹̉͘͢͟͡͡͞ ̸̡̻̳͍̣͇͚͉̬͎̦̈̽͗͘҉̨̨́́T̸̮̯̮̞̩̪̪̙̀ͦͤͤ́̊̑Ḧ̶̢̥̣̭͍̊ͦͦ̃ͫ̌ͤ͛̕͟͠͏̧E̡̟͉͋ͤ̉̅̅̊͒ͧ͑͘ͅ҉҉̵̧̛̕̕ ̟̞̺̟͖̺̥̫ͦ͒͏͘͠L̴̵̛̰̭̬̹͊͂͝Ȩ̸̡̲̦͔̯̗̼̩̹̖̊̌́̉ͪͨ̕͜͢͝͏V̧̼͓̳̝̖̔́͞ͅE̗̣̖͂ͥ͊͆͐͡͡҉̵̧̡̨̛͝L̴͗̎͌͂͗̃̑̓ ͇̥̪͕͍͇̖̭̫̦͛͂̓ͯ͗͆̐ͫͪS̸̮̆̆̒ͧ̔̾̅ͤ͛́͏̵̡̨͢͟͠Ị̴̷̷̵ͫͧ̈ͤ͘͏Ļ̷̧̺̘́͢͟͏̴̨V͖̟̹̮̾ͤͥ̾҉͞Ä̴̴̶͈͇͇̤̟̲̤̲̠́͢͝.̶̨̩͚̝̣̞̙̞̄͟͞ͅͅ ͙̺̻̞̣̮̙͙̪̒ͫ͆͌ͨ́̕̕ͅ͏̶̧

Wattson: W͔̪̩̮̥̬̞̻͔ͯ̂͋҉̷̡̀͟͜͝͡É̵̥̩͓̥̠҉̷ ̵̸͖̤̭̹̝̫̖̕͘͜͝ͅ͏̴͝M͘͟͝҉̸̕U̎̑̓̇́̕S̨̧̮̠̻̱̘̄ͩ̅ͨͮ͌̊͒ͬ҉T͓ͤͣ̎̈́ͪ̃҉̛҉͝͏̧̀ ̘͇̥̪̞̌͏̷̵̢̧̡͘͝͞Ķ͌͜͏́͘͘͟͢͞Ņ̴̛̰ͯ̑̐̆ͪͥ͆ͦO͉̙͍̞͗̀͠ͅW̫̼̱̒̽ͨ͏͝ ̷̡̼̜̪̖͂͌ͥ̋ͩ̍̀̕̕̕͘͜T̷͇͕͍̘̩͈̰̂͌̿̓̌Ȟ̴̡̡̢̤͙̠̖͓̗͖̺̐ͬ͜͏Eͯͫ͒͒̽̐ͨ��̸̴̸̡̡͓͉͔͔͙́͘͡ ̢̢͔̦͚̮̂̽̍̃̕͜͝͡L̪͚͚̯̹̖͖̬͌ͧͯ̿̊̏͌̔̅͜͟͏̶́͝Ẽ̔̀ͣ̀ͣV̵̧̡̻̋̍̏ͯ̚É̢̨̡̟̳͟͜L̶̢̨̛̲͉͇͚͖͍ͪ̌̎̉̓ͧ̊̈́́̕͜͡͡ ̸̞͕͎̥̹̋͆ͦͮ̇̃́͝ͅO̵͓͈͙̖̮̮͋́̾̆̂̚͞C̫̗͙̘̲̭̺̿̑̀͝͡͏̵̶̀Ť̡̨͉͎̜̙͔̬̫̃̾̔ͮ̍̕Ą̨̣̹̺̒̓ͮ̊ͤ͆̆ͭͭ͘͏͜͏̷́V̩̬̮̗̭̗͐̐̑̾̄ͣͧ͆͏͘̕͘̕͜͟͡I̦̙̗̤O̗̬̲̪͔ͮ͌ͤ̔̄̌͡.̓̈́ ̴̷̵̨̲͚̼̻̘͎͉̒̕͞͏