#including before midnight which is in the list but i thought i would add it in anyways | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spiderrrling · 2 years ago

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Living After Midnight - Chapter 2 (Eddie Munson X F!Carver Reader)

Pairing - Eddie Munson x Fem!Carver! Reader

Summary - Direct follow up after what happened in chapter 1

Word Count - 4.8k (yes I know I went overboard)

Warnings - None! (so far)

Authors Note - Since people really seemed to like living after midnight and I CANNOT stop thinking about what it would be like to be related to Jason and secretly dating Eddie this is becoming a series, if you’d like to be included on the tag list let me know or add yourself (list can be found on my blog)

Living After Midnight - Chapter 1

The obnoxious ringing of her alarm clock woke her with a jolt. The blinding early morning light shone through her bedroom window. She had forgotten to pull the curtains shut after sneaking in just a couple of hours earlier. She was still wearing Eddie’s sweatshirt, not wanting to change out of it. The article of clothing brought her some sense of peace.

Having it meant that last night wasn’t a dream or a desperate part of her longing. It had been real; she had been in that trailer park in his arms and in his bedroom. And even though it hadn’t been the first time, far from it, in fact, some part of her was still scared she would wake up with it all being a dream.

But this piece of clothing still smelled like him and proved that it was real. That what they shared was real, and that for now, that would have to be enough.

She could hear the loud rustle of her other family members scurrying to get ready for the day ahead, the sound of the shower running, and the toaster pinging, signaling that breakfast was ready.

The sweatshirt Eddie had given her was blue, dark blue. A deep, rich blue that could only be matched by the Hawkins night sky. Holding her bottom lip between her teeth, she couldn’t make herself part with the comfort of the shirt just yet. Instead she decided on pulling on a plain button up before returning to the sweatshirt. No one would know, other than them. It would be their little secret.

It was only a sweatshirt; it couldn’t do any harm she told herself. Besides, she wasn’t so sure she cared anymore. That little part of her brain, which had seemingly abandoned all rational thought, just wanted to scream it from the rooftops. Scream and declare that she is in love with Eddie Munson.

Slinging her school bag over her shoulder and she headed downstairs. Checking the clock on the oven, she realised she was a little behind the new schedule Jason had implemented. She knew that if she wanted a ride to school, she would have to make do, hence she threw two pop tarts in the toaster and patiently tried to wait while the pastries warmed.

Jason of course, was already up and ready, dressed in his basketball Letterman jacket and standing by the door jangling his keys, signaling to her without words that it was time to go.

“Give me a second! The world won’t end if you’re a couple of minutes late.” She laughed and grabbed the pastries in a napkin before heading out the door. Sliding into the passenger seat of Jason’s car and throwing her bag into the backseat.

“You look exhausted.” Jason looked over at her as she rubbed sleep away from her eyes; her under eyes were puffy and slightly swollen. “Bad night’s sleep.” She mumbled out the half assed excuse and tried to explain it away. Praying he hadn’t heard her sneaking in last night. And that if he did, that he wouldn’t bring it up. Of course not like she never heard him sneaking in late at night from a night out with the basketball team or with Chrissy.

She hoped he would have the decency to return the favour, keep his mouth shut, and not ask any questions about it. “New shirt?” He asked, and her blood ran cold for a second. She froze in her seat. “What?” was all she could muster saying.

“That’s my shirt! You’ve stolen that from me!” She exhaled the breath she had been holding, silently thanking whoever had answered her silent prayer. “Oh. Yeah, I must have taken yours by mistake, sorry.”

She rested her head against her hand, breathing in Eddie's scent.

It was the same drive to school as always. They sat in their shared comfortable silence as she ate what could barely be described as breakfast with the radio playing quietly in the background. Outside, the little town of Hawkins was zooming by, endless fields and forests which quickly slipped into the suburban area of downtown Hawkins.

Indiana in spring was beautiful. The spring flowers had just started peeking out of the frozen ground to say hello and welcome the weather change. Unfortunately, however, the weather this time of year was always horrible; it was either too hot or too cold and never seemed to find that perfect lull in between.

But it was spring, which meant it was ramping up towards the end of the basketball season, and it seemed to have the entire school on edge, especially her brother. Morning and evening practices had just been extended by another half an hour in the desperate hopes of the Tigers winning another championship. Teachers were buzzing with excitement, and Coach was constantly trying to rally the students into showing up for games to cheer on the team.

The Hawkins high student body also seemed to change, suddenly people cared for the outcome of games and how well the team did. School spirit was only increasing the better the season went and the more games they won.

One of these days, she felt her head would explode if Jason spoke any more about basketball strategies or college recruiters. But she also couldn’t blame him; he was just excited. How could he not be? He was the captain of the basketball team, which was looking at winning their first championship in decades, and he was dating the Queen of Hawkins High. He had every right to be excited.

Sometimes she did wonder how Chrissy managed to deal with all his chatter, but at the same time, she couldn’t help but admire Chrissy for her strength and mental toughness.

They were early to school, half an hour to be exact, so the only cars in the parking lot belonged to the members of the basketball team.

The Friday morning air was cool against her skin as she stepped out of the car. The sun had just started rising, threatening to turn Indiana dangerously hot come the afternoon.

Her eyes darted around the parking lot, searching for the old beat up van that deep down she knew wouldn’t be there just yet. They were early, and since it was school, Eddie was chronically late. But it still didn't stop her from having that little bit of hope.

The Hawkins High building was really ugly. She was convinced it had not changed since it was built; many years ago. The low brick building was decorated with the Tigers logo, with the school gym and football field not far off.

The building must be ancient given the standard it now was in, the brick was old and weather torn and pieces of the ceiling tiles had started coming loose. However, there was some charm to it, regardless of how daunting it’s nature was.

Jason said his goodbyes and joined his team members before heading to the gym for their morning practice, running whatever drills they needed for tonight’s game. And as they headed towards the gym, she headed towards the school building.

Hawkins High was surprisingly peaceful at this time of the day; only a couple of teachers had arrived and begun their lesson plans and preparations, and the hallways were practically void of any students.

Speaking of school spirit, this morning a couple of cheerleaders were hanging up a banner in the hallway, advertising tonight's homecoming game and encouraging students to buy tickets and attend. It was actually really nice they cared so much.

Walking through the endless corridors lined with metal lockers and decorated with graffiti scribbles, she headed for the one place she knew someone would be this early in the morning, the newspaper room.

It was Friday so Nancy Wheeler would be in her regular spot tucked away in the Hawkins High School News Paper room. Ever since Jonathan left eight months ago, she had poured herself into every project and hobby she picked up, the school newspaper being the one she was the most involved with. It was difficult to tell if she was doing it because she wanted to or if she was trying to avoid something. In all reality, it was most likely both that were driving her.

Nancy was headed to college in the fall, a full ride to Emmerson. Her thick college acceptance letter had arrived not even a month ago, and she was already ready to leave the ghost town of Hawkins behind. Still it was clear she was also nervous.

As she pushed the door into the newspaper room, she was parked behind the Editor in Chief’s desk. Two paper cups stood between the mess of papers strewn about in the most organised chaos she had ever seen.

Slumping down into the chair opposite Nancy, she didn’t even have to say anything as Nancy was so buried in her own work she simply handed her one of the paper cups marked with her initials.

This had become their little tradition, morning coffee in the newsroom before classes started.

“This isn’t from John’s.” She raised an eyebrow questioningly and looked over at Nancy after taking a sip of the dark liquid. Nancy finally looked up from where she was sitting; it was as if she could see the wheels turning in Nancy's brain. That was the best way she could describe Nancy, a fast well-oiled machine. “No- no, it's not.” Nancy flashed her a smile and took a sip from her own cup.

“I’ll never understand how you taste the difference.”

“It’s obvious, this?” She gestured to her cup. “This is hot water with a hint of coffee flavouring, which means you went to Joanne’s, and she cannot make a decent cup of coffee to save her life.” She shot Nancy an ironic death glare before taking another sip from her coffee, still happy to drink anything that would wake her up.

“Wait, is that a new shirt?” Nancy scanned her face as she tried to change the topic of conversation. “Oh, no, I just dug this out of the back of my closet. Forgot I owned it.”

It was a very thin lie, and Nancy was way too observant to believe it, but at least for now, she didn’t say anything. If anyone had become suspicious of her behaviour over the past couple of months, it was Nancy.

Instead, Nancy only rolled her eyes, pretending to ignore her and went back to work. While Y/N fished a notebook bound in black leather out of her bag and pulled her legs up in the chair. Practically ripping the cap off her pen with her teeth, she let the notebook fall open to the last page she had been working on. Her handwriting decorating the pages, ink smudged where she had been writing too fast. She tapped her pen against the edge of the notebook, scanning the pages and waiting for the right sentences to fall in place in her mind.

The longer she stared at the page in front of her, the less encouraged she was to write, the words seemed to stand still that morning. Instead, she flipped to the back of the notebook and scribbled a quick message on the paper before ripping it out and sticking the note in her pocket. It was clear this wasn’t the first time she had done this; the back of the notebook was abused from where she had ripped out countless pages previously to write notes.

Before they realised how much time had passed, the first bell of the morning rang, signaling there were 15 minutes left until the start of first period. With a subtle sigh, they both left their comfortable seats and headed out of the editors room to join up with the rest of the school.

Through the windows, she could see the yellow school buses had pulled up, and a sea of students had started making their way into school for their days of classes.

It was clear what day of the week it was just by the sheer amount of green in the sea of students. Friday was the day all the jocks wore their leatherman jackets and the cheerleaders went to classes in their uniforms, trying to rally some bit of school spirit. Which seemed ridiculous given how little spirit there was left in Hawkins after the past couple of years. But hey, at least someone was trying.

But it was Friday, which meant it wasn’t just the jocks and cheerleaders in uniforms. There were way fewer of them, but if you knew how to look, they were just as easy to spot in their black and white shirts, decorated with the Hellfire logo.

Her school bag was slung over her shoulder as she made her way down to her first period English class. Friday meant five classes, one free period, and lunch midway through the day. Whatever free moments she had would probably be spent hidden away with Nancy in the newspaper room. She wasn’t a writer for the paper, even though Nancy had asked her on more than one occasion. But Nancy would let her have lunch there as long as she didn’t get any crumbs on the floor. And it beat eating in the cafeteria by a long shot, and the newspaper kids were a little strange at times.

The hallway filled with students until it was almost difficult to walk through without bumping into someone else. Mr. Fletcher’s English class was located at the end of the language hallway and was quite a trek. As she walked, she clutched the now half full cup of coffee in her hands. Half full, not empty, she decided, a little optimism was needed for days like this.

If the Tigers won tonight, it meant they went on to play in next week's championships, a week straight of home and away games leading up to the finals on Friday a week from today, if they managed to make it that far.

But before she could get too lost in thought, there he was. His curly hair was still a mess, indicating he rushed out the door this morning which did not surprise her in the slightest. His layered leather and denim vest hung over his black and white hellfire shirt, and she could spot the guitar pick hanging in its regular chain around his neck.

She couldn’t help but break into a smile as she looked at him; even after all this time, he still managed to make butterflies appear in her stomach. Even though he was older than the traditional high school senior, there was almost something boyish about him. He looked up and made eye contact with her immediately. He noticed which shirt he was wearing, and she could have sworn she saw a slight blush. It was difficult to not wave at her, or grab her hand, or press a kiss to her cheek or really anywhere at all.

Quickly she fished the note she had written out of her pocket, and as they passed each other, she pressed it into his hand as inconspicuous as possible. His hand squeezed hers in that brief second, and they both hoped there were enough students around that no one saw what they had just done.

And with that, the long day of sitting through classes pretending to be focused started. She spent her entire first period staring down at the half filled page from this morning, replaying her moment with Eddie in the hallway over and over again in her head. At this point, they both knew each other’s schedule by heart; currently, he would be sitting down the hall in Mr. Fleming's literature class.

Probably avoiding whatever discussion was going on about Pursuations. The same thing she was doing in her class. She knew she should be paying attention to what was being said, their book report assessments were due just next week, and she had barely outlined an introduction. But Mr. Fletcher’s voice was always so quiet, and he spoke so slowly that it was difficult to pay attention in class.

She’d joked with Eddie that the hardest part about their relationship wasn’t sneaking around and keeping secrets; it was staying on top of all her school work. Her time had been stretched thin enough as it was; adding Eddie to the already complicated equation of her life didn’t make it any easier. But deep down, she knew she wouldn’t want to change it for anything else.

Because for the first time in what seemed like forever, she was actually happy. She had something to look forward to every day, something that, even after all these months, made her feel that spark of excitement in her stomach. And that was invaluable to her.

Eddie had snuck in the window with the promise to help her study for her algebra test next week. And he did for the first fifteen minutes, but he so rarely got to see her room that he couldn’t help but be distracted. He sat himself on the floor to look through her rows upon rows of books, noting which ones he had read.

“I know you’ve been held back, but don’t think you’re pulling me down with you.” She had joked, and Eddie had fallen to the floor, faking his hurt about the comment. “What if I just want you around for a little longer?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “Can you blame me?”

“Don’t say that; you’re graduating this year.” Eddie just looked at her with a slightly questioning expression. “I know it.” She reassured him.

“Eighty-Six, baby.” He smiled and moved to peck at her lips. “Then we get out of here, together”

The bell ran, pulling her from her daydreams. She realised she had wasted the entirety of first period, she had no idea what had been said and her notebook lay open and unused on the desk in front of her.

Another two hours of classes remained before the lunch bell would ring. At least the other students seemed just as distracted as she was this morning; if it was with their own things or with the game, she wasn’t sure. Words seemed to go in one ear and out the other this morning, and she was unable to stay focused on what was happening in front of her.

Shoving her notebook and pen into her bag before she and the other students shuffled out of class and proceeded to their next classes. She tugged gently at the sleeves of the shirt, pulling it down to cover her palms. There was something intoxicating about wearing Eddie’s shirt out in public. She had worn his clothes on multiple occasions, but always when it was just the two of them who could see. This was something else entirely, and it brought forward a pit of excitement in her stomach.

The rest of the day passed in a blur; listening in classes and note taking bled together until she couldn’t tell how much time had passed since the morning or what class she was in. Before she knew it, she had ended up by her locker at the end of the day. She hadn’t seen Eddie for the rest of the day, which wasn’t uncommon.

They were both high school seniors with busy schedules that didn’t line up. If they were lucky, they shared the free period on Wednesdays, but she had science block before, and Mr. Fleming always ran over time, leaving them swamped with work and notes.

Two pieces of paper fell out of her locker as she opened it, a small folded note and a ticket for tonight’s homecoming game.

She could guess who the note was from, quickly picking it up, and unfolding it to reveal a location. She couldn’t help but laugh a little to herself, carefully placing the note in her pocket along with the ticket before heading towards their usual meet up spot.

Friday afternoons before games were the perfect time to sneak around. Jason thought she went home, her parents were at work, and Eddie had an extra half an hour before Hellfire began.

-----

“You look so good in that shirt, sweetheart.” Eddie had her pinned firmly up against the wall, confident no one would be walking by. “Might have to let you keep it.”

“If you keep giving me your clothes, you won’t have any left.” She raised an eyebrow at him and gave him a sly smile. “I can work with that.” Eddie grinned back at her before kissing her again. Gently just letting his lips graze over hers, his nose brushing lightly against hers. Eddie’s fingers trailed over her body above her clothes, sending shivers down her spine.

And she could feel his hair gently tickling her face as he leaned in to kiss her.

“Aren’t there kids waiting for you to lead them on a quest?” She whispered against his lips. “They can wait; I have more pressing matters to tend to.” And with that, Eddie kissed her again, this time with full force, his hands coming up to cup her face in his palms. “Been thinking about you all day, you know.” He said between kisses.

She hummed into the kiss in agreement, letting him know she hadn’t been able to think about anything other than him. Her hands were resting against his forearms, gripping tighter onto him as they kissed.

Eddie pulled away to look at her, his arms moving and settling around her waist so he could pull her closer and off the wall. “Been waiting to have you in my arms.” He sighed, happy to finally get to be close to her again.

It felt like an eternity had passed since they were together last when, in reality, it had been less than twelve hours.

It was perplexing to her how Eddie could go from zero to a hundred so fast and then back down again. But he was just so happy and excited to see her after the day he had been having. Her presence always seemed to calm him down, to let him settle.

She laid her head against his shoulder, and Eddie rested his chin on her head. Her arms moved around his neck, her fingers mindlessly playing with the loose strands of hair at the nape of his neck.

“Everyone is going to be at the game.” Eddie started to speak, and she only hummed in agreement, not sure where the conversation was about to go. “No one would know if you slipped out or didn’t show up at all.” He continued. “What are you suggesting, Munson?”

“Come to Hellfire.” He moved his head and brushed a couple pieces of hair away from her forehead so he could press a kiss to her temple. “And don’t make me beg, please.” She couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Seriously, and besides, we could use another player for tonight since StClair insists on warming the bench.” Eddie continued, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t tempted. “You know you’d be welcome; the little gremlins seem to look up to you; they’d like having you there playing with them.” He pulled away so he could look her in the eyes, “I’d like to have you there.” The room was dark, and they were crammed in, but she swore she could see him blush.

“I thought you said you didn’t want to beg.” She raised an eyebrow at him and earned a pinch in return. “You’re impossible.”

"So will you come?" Eddie rested his hand against her cheek and she felt the cool metal of his rings against her flushed skin. They were pretty cramped together in the closet and she wondered why he hadn't suggested his van instead.

"Eds-" She started to speak and based only on her tone Eddie knew what was coming and cut her off. “No, don't give me that, tell me what is actually going on.”

"What's going on in there?" He gently tapped his ring finger against her temple. "Tell me what's going on." She hesitated for a moment and held her breath. Her eyebrows knitted deeply together as she was unable to find the words to tell him.

"You know I don't mind being a secret right? In fact I find it kind of exciting." Eddie laughed trying to get her to relax a little bit. "But I do mind if you keep secrets from me." She slowly nodded in response and she looked at him.

His dark brown eyes looked almost black in the dimly lit room and she felt she could almost see her own reflection in them. He was being so soft, so gentle.

"It's stupid." She mumbled under her breath and hid her face away in his shoulder. Eddie moved his hand into her hair so he could gently run his fingers through it. "I don't believe you."

"And you don't have to tell me now, ok?" He reassured her. "We can talk about it later." His voice was soft and she could feel the vibrations in his chest as he spoke. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Pretty girl, what do you have to be sorry about?" He used his hand to move her head, forcing her to look him in the eye and so he could press a kiss to her forehead. "Ruining the mood?" She asked questionably to which Eddie laughed. A laugh deep from his chest which quickly reduced her anxiety to almost none, almost.

"You haven't ruined anything." Eddie leaned in to kiss her again, this time it was slow, patient. He was still using his hands in her hair as a vantage to manipulate her right where he wanted her.

"I love you." He whispered to her between kisses, one of his hands finding its spot on her waist, fingers gently digging into the soft flesh. "So much."

She never realised right until they were back together just how much she longed for him, for his touch and his kisses. She craved feeling his touch, he was like her own personal drug she could never get enough of.

Her hands had wrapped around his shoulders to steady herself, her hands finding his face to hold him closer and Eddie deepened the kiss, pressing her back up against the wall. They were both losing themselves to the kiss, to each other.

Their kisses became needy and desperate. Kissing until they were both desperate for air, but not wanting their lips to ever part.

When Eddie pulled away their lips were slightly swollen and they were both breathing heavily for air. Eddie tenderly pushed some hair out of her face so he could look at her. "So beautiful." He whispered.

"I love you too." She whispered to him, and as she said the words his wrist watch beeped letting them both know their time was up for now. She wanted to do nothing more than to smash that watch into a million pieces.

"I believe your kids are waiting for you." She gave him a half hearted smile

"Go to the game, we'll be fine. Go support your stupid jock brother." Eddie pressed a quick kiss to her lips and grinned. "On one condition." He flashed her his evil grin which signalled that she was up to no good.

"I come by your house to pick you up, and you prepare to stay the night." His hand found hers in the dark and he quickly laced their fingers together, lifting her hand up to press a kiss to the back of it. She nodded in return, unable to take her eyes off him. "Ok." She smiled and nodded.

Eddie leaned towards her again, pressing another kiss to her lips. “Last kiss.” He grinned at her. "Go first." Eddie cracked the door open ever so slightly checking if the coast was clear before letting her step out of the janitor's closet. The hallway was empty of students, with everyone headed to the gym for the basketball game.

She was going to need to convince Robin to do her a solid favour and cover for her tonight, but she was determined to make it work.

-----

The game was finally starting to let out, and the Hawkins students flooded out of the gym in celebration and into the parking lot. The gaggle of nerds excited the drama department, shared excitement buzzing between them that she could pick up at even from a distance.

Eddie was holding onto his old and beat up black Dungeons and Dragons binder which was stuffed to the brim with his ideas and occasional sketches. They both stood still for a moment looking at one another from across the parking lot, massive grins plastered to both of their faces.

Eddie turned his head to see if anyone was looking at them, and when they weren't he blew her a kiss and gave her a bow before running off to his van.

Nothing mattered but him, over the past year he had slowly been infiltrating every aspect of her life. He had become her life just as she had become his.

Tagging the mutuals -. @uglypastels @catastrofhe @naturallytom @anaaaispunk @shadowfae1878

Tag list - @pastel-abyss-x @fayetheenthusiast @obi-wanakenobi @starbemo

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x read #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson st #stranger things #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x you #stranger things season 4 #stranger things fanfiction #eddie #joseph quinn

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baekhvuns · 4 years ago

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the duke and his general.

synopsis : in which seonghwa is the duke you’re arranged to, while you’re the general of the royal army.

pairing : seonghwa x reader

themes : angst, comedy & smut. ( tw : blood / war )

word count : 22k ( part two )

you expected everything to go like this, ever since the two of you shared that night together, you’ve never wanted to see him after. the sheer embarrassment and hurt appalled over you, and you were in a complicated state of mind.

and that’s when you started to avoid him like a plague, no, literally.

you’ve been waking up before he can, getting ready and successfully leaving before he could wake up. coming back to your room before he comes, showering and sleeping before you could see him.

you’ve pretended he doesn’t exist for the past four weeks; never once did you look at him in the eye. head down and a small bow or greeting, you walked right pass him whenever you saw him.

simply because, you can’t do it.

you busied yourself with the duties and the separate military ones, despite the tension between you and seonghwa, none of your comrades questioned anything if they even noticed.

it’s not like there hasn’t been more than one instance where you walk in the rooming thinking you were early, only to see seonghwa sitting on his bed, a book in his hands and legs crossed.

you would quickly walk away from his sight and you’re sure a deep sigh rings the room, it’s not as if you would keep avoiding him. it’s just that, what you did was awkward and embarrassing for you. you two have no feelings for each other and thus there is no point in making the marriage work.

plus, as written, it is only a contract that lasts for a few months before ultimately you two break off and he marries someone who actually suits him.

so, when you walk out the bathroom, you’re immediately pushed to the wall and trapped by none other than seonghwa himself.

his body emits heat and your jaw ticks, he doesn’t say anything for the first few minutes, and you choose to look away. “will you keep avoiding me?” he finally cracks.

there’s a deafening silence between you two, a warm lump that you swallowed quickly almost makes you cough. when you don’t speak or glance at him, he lifts his hand to your chin and forces you to face him.

his grip isn’t tight or bruising, just enough to guide your face up so he can look the other in the eye.

“will you not even look at me now?” he whispers, “look at me in the eye when i’m speaking to you.”

“your highness, it’s almost midnight,” you pause, “we should sleep.”

“we are not falling asleep till i finish my talk,” he grits out and you finally look him in the eye and sigh.

he grabs your hand and pulls you to sit on his bed, you bite your lower lip at the memories you had on this bed just a few weeks prior.

your eyes are stuck on the pretty carpet on the floor, the only noise being his steady breathing and your heartbeat beating in your ears.

he hesitates for a moment, leaving a few beats of silence that makes you swallow multiple times. his own self nervous to speak, seeing how quiet it is.

“do you,” he starts, “like someone else— or are you involved with someone outside our marriage.” he plays with his fingers until you answer, mind whirling up the most ridiculous answers you could potentially reply with.

“no, your highness.” you respond quickly, shaking your head.

“stop calling me that.”

“yes, your highness.”

he exhales loudly and then turns into a more serious stance, “have you ever thought about working this marriage out?”

you bite the insides of your cheek; this was exactly the question you were trying to stray away from.

“i-“ you start, turning your head away from him, to glance outside the window. “we are binded together through a piece of contract, your highness. i don’t think i’ve had a single thought on trying to figure out the marriage to potentially make it work.”

“not even once?” he asks, voice now on a lower pitch.

“. . not even once.”

you avoid looking his way, eyes tiredly focusing outside the window where rays of sun poured through.

“but i have,” he cracks, “i’ve thought about making our marriage work, i don’t think we both could survive in a loveless marriage, it’ll only hurt us emotionally.”

“but all you did was start fights, bother me just because you wanted a reaction out of me.” you mutter, and he chuckles a little.

“you were the one who started this thing, i told you, you should marry someone not me!” you tell him, voice not raising from your regular calmer tone.

“yes, i was the one who created this entire contract thing.” he pauses, “i’ll rip it apart.”

you swallow thickly at his words and the atmosphere made around you, the way he talks so smoothly has you curling your toes. you’ve always been the authoritative one but hearing his lowered voice has shut your mouth up.

“yes, we’ve had our immature arguments on baseless topics.” he lists, “had differences in tastes, opinions, and the way we think.”

“mostly just you,” you add, “you made me almost loose my mind.”

he bites his lip to stop him from breaking out in a laugh, the expression on your face not helping him. “okay yes i did, but i want to forget that ever happened, instead we should try and sit down to talk.”

you stare at him with narrowed eyes, pressing your lips together.

“i know this is probably a little shocking to you, but i want to make this marriage work.” he eyes you, “it won’t be easy, but i’d like to take the step further.”

you furrows your eyebrows at him, “what do you mean?”

he abruptly stands up, “let’s start from the beginning, forget the contract.” and extends his hand out to you. “it’ll seize to exist.”

“i’m park seonghwa.” you blink repeatedly at him, who stared at you, waiting.

“-duke of eden, firs-“

“park seonghwa, only.” he corrects you with a smile.

you stare at his hand and then back to his face, he watches you with a smile and slightly tilts his head. with a small smile, you lift your hand to meet his.

“i.. i’m y/n.” he smiles at that and holds onto your hand.

“then miss y/n, let’s start as friends.”

“ew.”

“ew?”

seonghwa stares at you wide eyed, your gaze stuck on the red wine placed on the table. ever since the two of you started being ‘friends’, which you were fairly very awkward at, you’ve actually had a decent chat with him.

he officially showed you around the palace, from his library nooks to the secret passageways connecting to different rooms to his personal office. taking you two the hidden rooms, the ones that showcase the stunning beauty of the sea through the windows.

it had only been two days and you’re actually kind of enjoying this, it is still awkward but nonetheless it’s a step further to making this marriage work.

“you don’t drink?”

“you do?” you ask him, lifting your eyes to glance at the apricot hued horizon.

the two of you were sitting in the balcony that connected to your room, it was almost nightfall, and the entire kingdom was lit up. you could see everything from the secluded space you two had, the small markets, houses, and parliamentary buildings all had their lights turned on.

“should we play a game?” he suggests, resting his arms on the armrest.

“let’s get to know each other through questions,” you hum once again and this time you feel his eyes on you.

“go on, your highness.”

he chuckles, “okay then general, how long have you been in the army?”

you press your lips in a firm line, remembering. “hm, for as long as i can remember, maybe when i was twelve? dad used to teach me a lot, unofficially at twelve and then officially at eighteen.”

he nods, impressed and sips on is wine. “that’s quite interesting, you’ve spent almost your entire childhood serving here huh?”

you smile, “i have,”

“do you regret it?”

“not one bit.”

he smiles, “i remember seeing you as a teen,” he pauses to remember. “with a hard stare and a small badge you had on your chest.”

you tick your eyebrow up in surprise, “i do too, just occasional glances at you, wherever you were, i was too.”

“how about you, your highness.” you ask this time, and he turns to look at you. “how many proposals have you rejected before accepting this one?”

he raises an eyebrow at your question, no in malice but in amusement. “if you count every kingdom including empire, and a few from outside then around, uh, seventeen?”

your eyes grow wide at his answer, “seventeen? that’s quite a lot.”

he nods, “how about you, i’ve heard that your mother tried to set you up with a few nobles.”

you snort, grabbing the wine from the table to your surprise and seonghwa’s. “I didn’t want to get married, and all the ones she choose were just not my type.” you cringe, “all i remember is their mothers wanting me to quit working here.”

he smirks, eyes falling from your eyes to the nose bridge and then to your lightly tinted lips. “can’t imagine you with one of those flimsy guys,” he lets out and you squint your eyes at him.

“what? you almost punched me!” he retorts, “and made me kneel to you!” you shake your head at his whining.

“you asked for both of them.”

he shakes his head and then continues, “how many wars or even battles have you fought?”

you bring your knees to your chest as your eyes peer out the horizon, “i think three wars? one for ecuador and the other two with elias-“

“ah, that useless one.” he lets out a quiet gasp as he drinks the wine.

“yeah,” you continue, “and then the battles eden has had, some smaller stuff.” you pause.

“i’ve honestly forgotten how many i have fought,” you say as the wind sifts through your hair and seonghwa finds purchase in staring at you.

“do you have any scars?” he asks, feeling a smile curl up on his lips.

“plenty,” you laugh, remembering the one on your thigh, back, neck and right under your lip. you’re proud of them, because you’ve earned every bit of them by fighting for your kingdom’s protection.

“what do you even do?” you break in and ask, “aside from cornering girls that is.”

he laughs at your question and your heart rate quickens, “well, i handle all my father’s work, he’s going to step down soon so i have to follow his footsteps.”

“accompanying him at travels, visit the town once in a while, make sure everything’s been done correctly with no errors.”

“and then sign a bunch of documents for eden, then repeat.”

you nod, reaching forward to grab the wine glass he had just lifted and bring it your lips to gulp it down.

his wide eyes watch you, “why did you want to make this marriage work, you know, considering how adamant you were about that contract?”

he seems to glance of at the scenery, thinking about the question. “i don’t think i’d wanted get married again,” he looks at you. “after the months that are over, that is.”

“i didn’t want marriage because i was, let’s say, scared.” he pauses, “which made me reject everyone.”

you nod slowly, “i’ve seen how some weddings have ended and, the ones i’ve heard growing up. it was scary but to think about it, y’know?”

he lets out a loud exhale, “i didn’t want to take the risk for it.”

you nod slowly, “did you eventually wanted to get married? seeing, you’ll be taking the crown in a matter of months.”

he hums, “at one point i did, i wanted a marriage, just not a bad one.” you snort.

“yet you were trying to make it a bad one,” you say, and he laughs, nodding.

“did you want this?” he asks, and you pause.

“not like this,” you sip the wine, remembering how this all started. “i wanted simple love, where the two of us live by the seashore and grow old together.”

“have kids at some point and live a simple life, but this, is totally opposite that.”

he smiles, “i mean to let you know, i have a palace near the seashor-“

“no thanks.” you interrupt him, closing your eyes.

“ah there’s a question i want to ask,” you hum, asking him to continue. “what impresses you?”

“a lot of things actually,” you pique, licking your lips.

he grins, stretching his arms forward before slyly putting it behind the frame of the couch, behind you. “i’m not the one who usually shows off but i own the country if that impresses you?”

you stare at him blankly, “i’m good.” he nods, bringing his arms back to him.

you two then stare off into the horizon, enjoying the comfortable silence. the wind blowing onto your faces, warm yet cool. a series of relaxed sighs would leave you too from time to time and you spared him some glances.

you could see the way his face had no flaws, perfect skin and face. your eyes then stare at his plumpy lips, quickly looking away before he could catch you.

“do you want kids?” he suddenly asks, and you chuckle, he grinned, it felt good hearing you laugh.

“at some point, of course.” you cradle your face on your palm, “do you?”

you see his face break out in a bright smile, “of course! i’ve always loved kids, they’re so cute and little and just happy all the time!”

you hum, “you know they cry loudly, poo everywhere and won’t let you sleep at night?”

he turns to face you, “still cute.”

you shake your head and then tie your hair up, then you stand up after a few beats of silence. with a small wave at seonghwa you walked inside, leaving the man alone.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, seonghwa.”

he nods and then stops dramatically. “did you just call me by my name!?”

“it’s your first visit home after our marriage, isn’t it?” you nod, a smile gracing your lips while your eyes glance around your town.

“uh huh,” you say as one of the doors to your house opens, revealing all your aunts and uncles with arms wide open.

you laugh nervously and lean over to seonghwa who’s already waving his hand at them beautifully, “okay, just behave and act like my nice husband for ten seconds and they’ll be gone.”

he smiles as you walk past him, and he follows with his hands folded behind his back.

once you two enter your house, all your relatives seemed to be lined up with big smiles on their faces. “how lovely.” you tightly smiled, and he snorts beside you.

and then your eyes meet your aunts who stare between you and the man standing beside you, clearing your throat you introduce him.

“everyone,” you phase to give seonghwa a look, “this is seonghwa, my husband.”

seonghwa feels his heart swell, a never-ending cheeky smile on his face and the though of you calling him ‘my husband’ for the first time thrills him.

he goes forward to greet them while his eyes meet yours from time to time, and that’s when you notice he’s mouthing the seconds to you.

“ten,” he greets your uncles, “nine.” aunts.

“eight and seven,” when near your cousins.

“six, five and four-“ when he stops beside your father and gives him a salute, to which your dad chuckles at, very surprisingly.

you find yourself snorting at seonghwa, however your eyes follow every movement of his. the smile that reveals his pearly whites, he turns his head to whisper “three and two.” and you nod.

the shiny eyes of his when he talks to your brother and laugh at something he said, which makes you think it was your brother exposing you.

once he’s done greeting everyone, they all start to slowly leave and seonghwa finds his arms around your waist, shooting butterflies in your stomach as he jerks you closer to him.

“you can let go now,” you say, eyes on that one aunt who isn’t leaving. “they’re all gone.”

the next few hours were perhaps the most weirdest ones, seonghwa had seemed to befriend your mother in a jiffy while your brother wiggles his eyebrows at you for anything seonghwa does that impresses you family even more.

“stop it, sehun.” you stick your tongue out at him while walking to help your mother with the dinner.

“ahh, did you see all your relatives gush over him?” the minute you enter, your mother corners you.

you scoff, “i did,” and pause, your relatives sure did seem too interested in him more than you.

“they’re probably going to ask him to divorce me for their dau-“ you didn’t even get the chance to finish your sentence because your very own mother hit you with a green onion.

“why would seonghwa ever do that?” she glares, and you almost laugh out loud, spilling the beans of the contract you two had.

“both of you look great together,” you turn to your mom, leaning your back on the counter so that the kitchen entrance is in your viewpoint. “the way he looks at you, it’s all visible!”

you’re about to retort back that you see seonghwa standing at the door, you urge him to come in, but he places a finger on his lips, as if to not talk. you squint your eyes at him but agree anyways.

your mother who seems absolutely oblivious to the situation opens her big mouth, “just give me the baby news already! i want to be a grandma before i die.”

your wide eyes immediately land on seonghwa’s, his eyebrows shoot up to his forehead while your mother rants about wanting to see more grandkids.

“your oldest child has two, mom, twins at that.” you refer to your older sister, and her two devil of kids.

you see how his lips form a smirk, his head nodding to everything your mom talks about. he then uses his two fingers to poke his cheeks, eyes shiny and wide as he bobs his head.

“i don’t think you’ll hear that news soon,” you say, eyes still on him.

he tilts his head and mouths a, “why not?”

“why not?” your mother asks, “you both would be lovely parents.” and seonghwa nods.

“seonghwa wouldn’t want them.” you narrow your eyes at him, “we haven’t discussed anything yet.”

he leans on the door frame and lifts his hands up, “how many do you think you want?” your mother asks, and you just want to leave the room already.

seonghwa jumps in his spot to get your attention, hands waving at you frantically, your eyes travel from your mother to his.

he lifts one, two, three, four and five of his fingers, your eyes widen in shock.

“five?!” you yell out loud, making your mother flinch.

“you want five kids?” your mother questions you with shock and seonghwa nods with a teasing smile before leaving the room, leaving you to deal with her.

“i- no!” with that you glared out the door, sparing your mother a glance before walking out to find him.

the rest of the night was everyone having fun, seonghwa making everyone laugh while your brother and mother spade you amused glances whenever they’d him talk.

when the visit was over, you wave to your family with big smiles, your hands carried random gifts your mother prepared for you and seonghwa.

the two of you walk back to the car prepared for you, arms and shoulders brushing each other’s, all on purpose, as you walk back in silence.

“today was fun,” he says, cheeks heating up at the memory of few moments prior. “i like your family.”

you find yourself smiling too, “it was, they loved you.”

he snorts, “who wouldn’t.”

you roll your eyes and walk faster, leaving a whining seonghwa behind. he runs after you as you keep walking with a smile, and a totally different reason to why your heart was beating so rapidly.

once the two of you sat down in the cars, you lean back in the seat and close your eyes. a sigh escapes your lips, and you get comfortable in your seat, the ride back to the palace was a long one and getting a nap was what you wanted.

seonghwa does the same, but before he shuts his eyes, he leans down to press his lips against your cheeks, your eyes shoot open at that and he smiles against your skin.

he then brushes his lips against your ear, “one and zero.”

your eyes blinked at the flash, so bright and blinding. eyes focusing on the room containing a man standing behind the big camera, a big smile on his face as he jumped around.

“just tilt your head to the side,” he instructs, and you feel seonghwa tilt his head towards you, his gaze roaming your side profile.

“was this necessary,” you ask, pressing your lips in a tight smile as you lifted your hand to neatly place on his chest.

head facing the front with a smile that could only be called fake, “traditions, y/n, traditions.” he hums bringing you closer by your waist.

family portraits were one of the things every family had to do, to ensure that the future generations knew who the heirs, couples, kids and kings and queens were.

this is what you two were doing, dressed in matching clothes as the man in front of you snapped pictures with his vintage camera.

you find yourself fully paying attention to the camera man that, you almost don’t feel a hand creeping up your back. “what?” you whisper-yelled, looking over your shoulder.

“nothing,” he responds with a grin, “focus on the camera.” fingers drawing circles on your back, going up with each one.

you’re now sat beside him, shoulders touching intentionally and the heat of his body radiating to you. instinctively you lean towards him, both your heads tilt and a smile forms over your lips.

and then you feel his fingers start to dwindle with your zipper, you stiffen. side eyeing his face that’s bright and happily smiling, one hand neatly placed on your thigh while the other is flat in your back.

“seonghwa,” you warn the man, who only responds with a hum in a singing tone that made your heartbeat fasten.

“yes, sweetheart.” he lowers his chin to place on your shoulder, and you swallow staring at the man ahead who only showed a thumbs up with both of his hands.

“this isn’t the right place to-“ you bite on your tongue when you feel him unzip your dress from the back, slowly, while he nuzzles his cheeks into yours and you break out into a smile.

“everything is a right place if you make it,” he hushes you. slowly unzipping your dress and you shiver when the cold air hits your back, his long and slim fingers caress your skin softly.

his fingertips are hot against your skin and you fight the urge to not stare at him, because you feel that stare, he does. the one where his eyes grow darker, and a glint of playfulness covers him.

you feel his breathe hit your neck and you turn your head to him, “we can’t, the man’s right the-“

he interrupts you by placing his feverish lips on your cheek, your eyes wide in surprise while the camera man squeals something about the right pose.

seonghwa’s lips form into a boyish grin, his dark hair cover his eyes and it makes him more enticing. you swallow once again, looking ahead as your cheeks start to get warmer.

one thing he loved to do was, to see your reaction to his touch. he loved the way you twitch out of embarrassment when he touches you or avoid his holds when you’re surrounded by people and he’s sure that it effects you as much as it does to him.

he then wraps a hand around your shoulder, a hand reaching out to gently run through your hair. he hears you inhale shakily and turns his gaze to the front.

eyeing the man in front of him, he cocks up an eyebrow at the man who timidly, yet hastily bows and leaves the room. not before tripping over a few wires on his way out.

the second the doors shut; it doesn’t take seonghwa a second to pin you on the red couch. you let out a small noise of surprise when he brings your arms above your head.

you can’t control the breathy exhale your lips leave, he dips his face closer to yours and his eyes, filled with every emotion that could possibly decipher lust, desire and playfulness.

“seonghwa,” you mutter, shakily. eyes frantically searching the room because anyone could walk in, at any given time.

“y/n...” he whispers, lips quirking up into a smirk and he lowers his head down to just inches away from your lips.

“that’s the thrill baby,” he doesn’t let you speak more as he smashes his lips against yours, a moan leaves your lips seconds later and he presses his lips against yours even more.

his hands run down your curves, up and down as one of them makes its way to your back.

both your eyes are shut close, lips moulding into each other’s such such finesse that it has him letting out a groan. lips parting for air, tongues crashing as you two moan breathily in unison.

you rake a hand to cup his cheek and his hand that rests on your back, brings the straps of your dress down your shoulders. leaving it up just enough so he can see your cleavage and the goosebumps that come with.

he grabs onto your waist firmly, arching your back to him and he slows down the kiss, turning it more sensual and rhythmic before parting away completely all sloppy and wet and soft.

his lips then hover over the shell of your ear, “won’t you make those pretty noises for me?” he mumbles between kisses he places down your neck, nuzzling his nose into your hair while doing so.

“hm?” he quirks, “i want to hear every single one of those noises, i want everyone to hear them.”

his tongue flees out his mouth and he licks a circle over the small skin, you let out a tiny mewl and grip his white shirt.

“be louder, baby,” you moan louder when he bites down on your skin. “i want everyone to know how good i make you feel.”

you squirm under him when you feel him suck harshly, mouth hung open in silent cry. his other hand trails down to bunch up your dress over your waist, fingers gingerly lingering over your inner thighs.

“h-hwa,” you let out a broken whine and he stops all together and then looks into your eyes and it has you gushing with arousal, you’re sure he can feel the heat as his hand rests closer to your underwear.

“what did you say?” he whispers, and you can only stare back in response before he pecks your lips again. “say that again, baby.”

you part your lips when he grinds on you, “hwa,” when he hears you repeat it, he swears he’s never liked that name so much in life.

and you assume he likes it when you call him that, of course he does, it makes him swallow and he feels his cock harden in his pants.

when he looks into your eyes, hooded and full of lust it as him forgetting just who you are and what you could do to him.

his eyes go down to your lips that you’re biting while staring at him with curiosity, his fingers toy with the band on your underwear as he stares at you poking your tongue out.

you see how his swollen lips form into a smile, his eyes this time not only showing desire but something... else you can quite comprehend.

you mirror his smile, but it falters into a loud moan when he slips his fingers under your band and brushes against your pussy, your mouth falls open and he closes it with his lips.

you feel them feverishly trail down your neck and then to your collarbones, while his fingers slip in and out of you. “god, you’re so wet.” he groans against your lips.

your legs spread wide open when he lazily drops your underwear lower, he watches you shiver but only responds by sucking on your skin, marking you with his creation.

you let out moans that can only be described as high pitched, and almost borderline pornographic. he hums and groans against you, letting out moans of his own.

you exhale his name out loudly and he brings his lips to connect with yours once again, you grind yourself to his fingers while he bites down on your lower lip.

“are you close?” he asks, speeding his fingers down your clit, curling around your g-spot so perfectly that it has you rolling your eyes and head back.

you can only moan in response, wailing your head to the side as he fastens his speed. bunching up your dress higher and you feel the cold hit your skin, he nuzzles into your neck while shamelessly numbing “good girl” “that’s my baby” “hm, who’s are you?” to which you’d respond with his.

once you let out a loud cry of his name it hushes you with his lips, mumbling for you to “come on my fingers,” and you do as he says, wrapping your arm around his shoulder.

he then tilts his head, bringing the same fingers that he had in you seconds ago to his mouth. he swirls his tongue around them, and you moan just at the look of that, he then brings those fingers to your lips.

and you wrap your mouth around them, sucking on them as your spit mixes with his. he holds back a growl when he sees how your eyes meet when you swirl your tongue around his fingers, he feels his cock twitch when your eyes roll back.

he ignores the faint noise of the door clicking and lowers his lips to your clothed chest. he feels your boobs all hard and perky and lulls his head back to hold himself in.

he moves his lips to the strap of your dress; his teeth graze the fabric of the top and bites onto it lightly. your hand takes through his hair and he hums in delight.

his intense eyes stare into yours while he brings down the top of your dress, slowly unraveling your naked chest and he growls looking into your eyes.

the corner of his lips rises, and he licks his lower lip, pointing his tongue out at your nipple. he’s just about to touch it but a loud cracking nose interrupts you two, your wide eyes stare into his, in panic.

completely forgetting your surroundings, seonghwa lifts his eyes to see where the crash came from and cocks his eyebrow up.

“god damnit, san, that was ancestral.”

your fingers tighten against his shirt when you hear the familiar name, hiding your face into his neck in sheer embarrassment as your cheeks heat up.

“sorry,” you hear his response, almost strained.

“what’re you doing here?” seonghwa asks, he feels you tighten your grasp against his shirt, and he softly caresses your skin.

“i-,” the said man chokes up, eyes wandering everywhere except the two.

but he’s already seen it, him on top of you, your moans being pathetically loud and pretty.

he’s also equally shocked and turned on at the same time, he watches you just seconds prior arching your body up to the duke as your lips parted in ecstasy.

you feel seonghwa hum against you and he turns to look at you, “trust me,” he places his lips onto your again and you smile slightly.

“how much did you watch?” seonghwa asks the man once again, this time sitting up and you cover yourself, but he stops you.

his fingers graze your hardened nipples, and you hiss lowly, swallowing as your gaze is stuck on his side.

“just a little,” san lets out, suddenly finding the floor extremely interesting.

seonghwa caresses your waist and you lift yourself on your elbows, finally sparing san a glance.

he stands in a corner, hands folded in front of him making the tent he’s hiding very obvious.

you eye seonghwa and he smirks, “well then, what’re you waiting for? join us.”

“w-what,” you and san blink at the man, making swallow and look at san, who had two toned hair.

san’s eyes meet yours briefly before they flicker back to seonghwa who shrugs his shoulders, “i’m sure you had a reason to stay and watch,” he mutters, standing up.

san’s eyes finally fall over yours for a few minutes longer, he sees your red dress bunched up to your waist, your hair tousling over one another and how your boobs peeked out the dress.

he’d never think he’d see his general like this, and he thinks he quite likes it.

he swallows when seonghwa lifts two of his fingers for him to come further, and he hesitantly takes step forward not before giving you a glance.

you nod and slowly perch yourself up, legs spread open to a distance, revealing everything to the man’s vision.

you weren’t oblivious to the stares the man would give you, sometimes those that linger longer than before.

you have confronted him about it on a drunk nigh when he revealed his crush on you, you laughed it off and told him “there will be a much better person for you to be with.”

but it seems as if his fantasies had caved him in, when he heard you and seonghwa going at it just as he walked the hallways. he thinks it really was god’s wish when he decided to peek in.

seonghwa gives you a glance, as if asking you if that was okay. you nod slowly, and he goes to lean on the wall opposite you.

“san,” you call out and he lifts his head up, eyes wide like a deer. “come here.”

he does what you say and stops when he’s standing between your legs, seonghwa clears his throat from the back.

“no kiss on the lips.”

you tilt your head to the side, meeting your hair fall over your shoulders prettily and it makes san bite his lips.

“only once san,” you say, “i know you want it, so here i am.”

“go on,” you and seonghwa say together.

he watches you with wide eyes, “are you sure?” you nod, tucking your leg to the side and it’s the way something in him awakens and he places his knee in-between your legs.

he cups your jaw and lowers his lips to chastely kiss your cheek, “then i will follow every order my general gives me.”

you don’t miss the way his eyes darken at that, and the way seonghwa taps his feet.

you smile when he hides his face in your hair, lips grazing your neck and you shiver when his lips touch the sweet spot right under your ear.

he places his lips softly over your skin, humming as he inhaled your scent. he already knows the marks done on your neck are by seonghwa, but it doesn’t stop him from sucking on your skin, to create his own mark on you.

you breath shakily when his knee moves closer to your center, his hand cupping your jaw while the other travels down to hold onto your boobs.

he stifles back a moan of his down when your lips touch his cheek, his hands knead and squish the soft skin of your breasts.

your lips let out broken whines that has him riling, he harshly sucks on your neck and you don’t stop the airy “san,” that leaves your lips, and he stops all together, when he feels your leg wrapping around his knee.

his eyes glance at your lips and you raise your eyebrow at him, lulling your head back, puckering your lips as if taunting him to touch him with his own.

he smirks but only dips his head lower to your breast and you whine when he moulds his mouth over your bud, circling his tongue all over and coating it with his saliva.

he sucks and hums against your sensitive nipple while you let out strangled moans that has his cock hardening in his pants.

it’s only then when he finally looks up, the distance between you two barely any. he stares at your lips and his lips let out a mewl, he wants to taste you but the man standing behind with daggers in his eyes make him think otherwise.

“san,” your voice fills his ears, and he looks up, “kiss me.”

you jut your chin to his, eyes challenging him to kiss you. his hand tightens around your jaw, “y/n...”

as much as he wants to fulfil your wish, and his. he knows seonghwa would get mad, but the way you’re looking at him, puckering your lips to his.

he thinks, it’s a once in life chance.

san looks over his shoulders and sees seonghwa leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

san then looks over at you, and then back at seonghwa and mutters a. “sorry, seonghwa.” although not really sorry.

before crashing his lips onto yours, you gasp when he does so but it turns into a muffled moan. his tongue barely touches yours that he’s yanked off from you, your chest heaves up and down while seonghwa straightens the man.

asking him to leave, and so he does.

you feel seonghwa stare at you fixing your dress up, when you do stand up he grabs the back of your neck and slams his lips to yours.

“i told him not too,” he says between the kisses, using his tongue to swipe across your lips softly and you smile. “mine, you understand that?”

he pulls away and looks at you, “i’ll be right back.”

“where?” you ask.

“i’ve to deal with san.”

“when did that happen?”

“i don’t know, all i know is we have to hurry because everyone is already there!” you stand there looking at seonghwa run around the room, flinging his tuxedo and tie on the bed while running gel through his hair.

when he dramatically pauses to look at you, “what, go get ready.” he walks to you, dressed in his silk pyjamas that fit him loosely.

“unless you want me to dress you?” he quirks up an eyebrow, bringing you to him by the use of his arm. “hm?”

you smack his arm away, walking to where your clothes were as he panics in the background while you take your sweet time to pick out your stuff.

when you find yourself all dressed, seonghwa leans on the canopy bed frame watching you struggle to put a piece of earring in your ear.

he watches you lean over the vanity, curves on display in the black and white dress, your red lips mumbling some cursing which he finds unusually hot.

a small frown on your face as you struggle with the earrings he brought, he pushes himself off and comes to stand right behind you. your back flush against his towering self, he holds onto your wrist, gently refraining you.

he grabs onto the earring and places it on the vanity, you watch him do so through the mirror. the strangely intimate atmosphere quickened the speed of your heart, his fingers fondle with your hair, eventually covering the ear without the accessory.

he then holds onto your forearms and squishes his cheek into yours, “you’re hot.” shifting his hands to your waist, which he squeezes slightly.

your lips break out into a smile and grab his hands, turning around you wrap your arms around his neck.

with a giggle you don’t know what comes over you, that you place a peck on his lips. “thank you mr. park, you’re not bad yourself.”

“thank you mrs. park, now, shall we?” he suddenly lowers his voice to a british accent and you pretend to fake a gasp, “of course.”

you two leave in laughter and return back tired, or more so you leaning on seonghwa’s shoulder while he supports you. giggling at some joke he said that has the two of you laughing loudly in the otherwise quiet palace.

he asks if you’re tired and you nod against his shoulder, he smiles because in the end of the day, he knows you have a tiring job. how you’re so uptight and working with your entire body and brain, he loves that you’re like this with him.

comfortable, he likes the sound of that, a lot.

it’s the only time he’s dared to run a hand through your hair, poke your cheek, make you laugh, tickle you, and then pick you up.

he knows you’re too tired to protest, and you give in. head laid on his chest and arms wrapped around his neck, he mumbles a few jokes softly in a attempt for you to keep awake.

every giggle or chuckle you let out has his heart beating and cheeks warming up, he looks down at you, nuzzling into his chest with a smile on your face.

“stay awake for me y/n,” he hums, and you somehow nod through a sleepy phase.

when he enters the room, he walks straight to the bathroom. placing you onto the toilet seat while he goes to grab your pyjamas, when he returns, he sees you perching your head on the counter.

hair covering half your face and your eyes shut, he works quickly and comes to kneel by you.

timidly he reaches out to brush your hair to the side, smiling at your cheek squishing against the counter he holds onto your face and taps your cheeks.

“wake up y/n,” he mutters, “baby?”

you let out a whine when stands up, one hand interlinked with yours while the other uses a cotton swab with a remover on it to bring it to your face.

“close your eyes for me,” he settles himself between your legs, holding your chin as he wipes off all the makeup in one go.

he then asks you to stand up and wash your face, you do as he says with closed eyes and he watches you with a worried glance when you stumble to the sink, washing your face successfully.

with a gasp from your lips, he plops you on the counter. smiling widely when you wrap your arms around his waist and it has butterflies erupting in his stomach, he likes this a lot.

he likes the feeling of this solace, just you two alone in a warm atmosphere on a dark night, where it’s quiet, and the lightings comforting. when he slips out some puns and you whine in response, when he’s about to grab a little lotion, you ask him to wash his face too.

confused he does it nonetheless and you grab two out some lotion on your hands, “thank you for doing this hwa,” you mumble lazily, tapping the lotion in dots over his face before rubbing them across.

“it’s nothing,” he responds, puckering his lips when your fingers brush his lips.

he repeats the same thing as you and then shoves you your set of pyjamas he bought recently, but instead of grabbing them you raise your arms, eyes closed and a smile on your face.

“what?” you say, “didn’t think i’d be like this?”

he shakes his head with a smile before coming in closer to tie your hair up, he smirks at the proximity and it’s as if you can feel him smirking you slap his chest, and he feigns a pained groan.

he presses his lips gently on the apples of your cheek before backing away, “do you want me to change you?” you nod.

“what’s there to hide anyways,” you mumble lowly, “you’ve seen it all.”

he hums in acknowledgment, grabbing the top and then draping it over you but not buttoning it fully. then, he reaches underneath the shirt to lift down your straps, making sure it’s comfortable enough when it’s all the way down.

you button the rest of your shirt up and wear your pants, not realizing the matching pyjamas you walk out the room and head for the couch.

“where are you going?” he interrupts, fixing the blanket right as he walks out.

“bed,” you point to the couch, making your way towards it but you’re pulled by the back of your collar to meet with seonghwa’s towering front.

he dips his head to your ear, “but that’s your bed.” he nods towards the one he sleeps at and you swallow.

“come,” he ushers you onto the soft bed and he walks to the other side.

“will you be sleeping on the couch then?” you ask he and stops, “no? why would i, this is our bed.”

he stops, “we sleep here, together.”

“-flip it like that— yeah, that’s it!” you yell, holding onto jongho’s arm with force.

the man whines beside you and you stifle out a laugh, “why do you always pick on me,” he says, pouting.

“i’m not picking on you ho, you learn things quicker than others.” you explain, moving his arm to the right, “so you can help others understand better, when i’m not there.”

“so what you’re saying is, i take your position after you retire and whatever?” you smack the back of his head lightly and he once again whines.

“oh, where’s san?” you ask, motioning jongho to copy what you were doing.

“he’s-“ he pauses to take a breathe, “he’s gone back to eros, something came up about some people missing into thin air.”

you frown, “that’s weird,” telling jongho to take a break.

“you know what’s weirder? seeing your husband stand there looking at me as if he’ll kill me.” jongho points his finger at the man leaning on the column.

when you turn your head to him, he immediately straightens himself and you realize he’s in his pyjamas, hair all fluffy, eyes shinning and his cheeks puffy.

“he really woke up early to watch you practice?” hongjoong teases from the side and you smirk, shrugging your shoulders.

“mayhaps,” tossing your weapons to the side you bid them all a bye and an good morning before running to seonghwa.

a smile graces your lips when his eyes brighten, his arms are widespread, and you link yours with his. “let’s get you back to bed,” you mutter, dragging his sleepy yet clingy self back to your chambers.

you realize that this wasn’t the first time he’s woken up early to come and watch you practice, and whenever you’d ask him why his response only made your insides flip.

“why do you come to watch us practice every day?”

he’d grin and wrap his arms around you like a bear, “because the bed isn’t warm without you,” you’d laugh at his attempts to keep you by him whenever you had to leave.

sometimes during the dark hours of night, when the field is only illuminated by torches. seonghwa waits for you to finish the last off, two drinks in his hands, fresh and cold.

when you’re done, the two of you walk to the roof of the castle. a balcony only the two of you use that showcases the entirety of the kingdom, with drinks in your hands, sitting on the wall with your feet hanging off in air.

chatting away about really anything, sharing glances that were not so awkward anymore. the breeze up high would be so fast, that the two of you have almost fell.

poking each other where you’re ticklish the most, seonghwa sitting with his back faced in between your legs while you played with his hair. or when he’d grab those same hands and bring them to his lips, mumbling something that’d make you laugh.

in the matter of months, the relationship between you two had completely flipped.

it’s as if you two know almost anything about each other, what makes you smack him, what makes you laugh, the jokes, the massages, and the spontaneous trips you two take in the middle of the night on your horses.

this one time when he had marched into your office, hands full of chips and other food.

you lift your head up from the amount of paper works scattered on your desk, “oh? seonghwa, do you need anything?” you ask the man standing at your doorstep, a pout formed on his lips.

he’s standing there wearing his pyjamas that only he looks good in, you throw your pen away and lean back on your chair, crossing your arms.

he walks in with his hands placed by his waist, cheeks puffed. “why do you not pay attention to me?” he asks, and you have to stop yourself from cooing at him.

“i told you, there’s a few problems at the borders,” you pause to look at his face. “i need to finish a few paper works.”

“but you’ve been busy all week,” he lifts his hand up, “one, you’re always on the fields outside.” he brings down a finger.

“and then you loudly yell the marching chants that make me flinch!” he whines, and you laugh at his words.

“really? am i that loud?” you ask him, and he nods.

he suddenly stands up and does a aggressive salut, “soldiers!” he imitates your tone, “in line now, if you don’t get in the line, thirteen laps around the palace!”

you laugh at the way he’s marching back and forth, imitating the scared looks of your soldiers whenever they have to run or when you yell at them.

or when you would walk in during evening to see him sitting on his bed, deep in thought. you pause, “are you alright?” you question, and he finally lifts his head up.

“no,” he responds.

you frown, “no?”

he hums with a pout, and you walk near him and kneel down to his level, wondering what exactly had happened for him to be sitting all alone.

“no,” he pauses, “but a kiss can help.”

you smack his knee and get up but he grabs your wrist and turns you to him, your body falls on him and he holds onto your waist as you two fall back slowly.

“please,” he pouts, puckering his lips and you laugh. shaking your head and then placing a small peck but he takes the chance to deepen it.

and considering how close you two have gotten, and the level of comfort thats between you two.

seeing that, you and him have done it almost everywhere in the palace.

it usually ends up with you two being borderline caught by some older advisors who roam the halls often.

the ball party was where it all first started.

“where- seonghwa the guests, they’re waiting!”

“baby, i couldn’t care less about those guests,” he backs you up against the door, “i want to hear you, right now.”

he’d growl and bunches up your dress, asking you to hold it while he traces his fingers over the lacy panties you had worn.

you’d shiver when he would part the fabric to the side, feel his hot breath over your pussy before he’d dive his tongue in you.

lapping, swirling and circling all over your clit, gathering all the juices you’d spill out, and using his tongue at different speeds. he’d hold onto your thighs, one leg over his shoulder and his mouth doing wonders.

while your head was thrown back and your mouth was letting out breathy and airy moans of his names that you’re sure someone would hear.

but that won’t stop him from using his slim and long fingers to curl up inside you, his face hidden in your neck while he fingered your already sensitive clit.

he’d place soft kisses over your neck while moaning your name out, you’d shut your eyes tightly when he would start to nibble on your earlobe and quickening his pace on your pussy.

“that’s my good girl,” he groans against you, slowing down the speed of his fingers that’d only have you crying his name out in pleasure.

the hallways.

“i hate you so much,” you say between your laughs and he cages you between his arms, grabbing your hands to put them above your head.

“do you now?” he closes the distance between you two, “that’s not what you say when you’re screaming my name, hm?”

your lips break out into a smile when he placed his softer ones on yours, he himself enjoying the bond you two had.

“you know if we keep doing this,” you gasp, “you’ll be a father in no time.”

he smirks, nuzzling into your neck. “you finally understood my intentions?”

his free hand moves down to grip your waist, and you whine when he does so, nibbling on your lower lip, swiping his tongue over your lips.

the sound of lips smacking against one another rings the empty hallway, teeth clashing and muffled moans the two of you cry out in unison.

you move your hands to wrap around his neck, and his places his hands on the curve of your ass. pushing you to the wall while he weighs onto you, you would be daring enough to bite his lip which would have him tighten the grip on your ass.

your fingers play with with his hair, tugging on them which would have him humming against your lips. you two would only part away when the sound of footsteps start to come closer.

hurriedly pushing each other away and fixing your clothes and making a run for it to the other side of the palace, laughing and giggling over the thrill of being caught.

then there was the time when you would push him against the mirror, cupping his cheek and smashing your lips onto his. or when he would fiddle with your dress straps only to start placing feathery kisses up your neck, grabbing your chest and squeezing them through the fabric.

or when you’d take off his shirt and climb over him, hands grazing his stunning built yet large and lean body. straddling his waist while sucking on his skin, leaving your own mark on him.

where he would throw his head back, hands gripping your ass as you slowly grind over him. his lips would part, and low and deep moans would leave his mouth, you would bite your lips and start to move faster.

his eyebrows would touch, and he would bite his lips, you’d him against his skin, using your tongue and curling, twirling and swirling over his neck.

it would lead him to trail his hands under your shirt, glancing at you and then letting out a mewl when you hadn’t worn your bra, his larger hands coming to cup them.

his fingers graze your hardened nipples, tweaking and rolling it while squeezing and kneading your perky doubles. and then trailing his hands down your stomach and under your pants, then he would flip you over and overtake you.

“you’re so wet,” he would coo in your ear and you’d nod, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. your own moan would follow when he’d curl his fingers around a particular bundle of nerves.

your head would fall back on the bed, “all for me, hm? y/n, all for me?”

“f-for you,” you’d let out when the heat in you became unbearable and you came.

and that’s when you heard something you’ve never thought you would, “god, i love you so much y/n.”

your head would fall back, chest heaving up and down heavily and your heart beating for an entirely different reason.

the next time you two are together was when he had to go away for a few days, you were extensively busy coming up with problems to fix the conflict that’s been looming over you.

it was during nighttime when you had finally walked to your room, plopping onto your bed like a star fish. just as you try to close your eyes, a particular voice made a smile creep up your lips.

“hey,” seonghwa jumps onto the bed, making your body jump slightly. you lift open your eyes and see his face right above yours, a cheeky smile on his pink lips.

“you’re back,” you mutter lowly, lifting your hands to cup his face. “how was the trip?”

he puckers his lips in a pout, “you’re not going to ask how i am?” he grabs your hand and brings it to his hair, and you start to play with them, he hums happily.

“okay, seonghwa,” you chuckle, “how are you?”

“i missed you,” he mumbles, “a lot.”

he lowers his face, puckering his lips like a fish. “your smile, your lips, your laugh and you, i missed you baby.”

“i did too,” you shut your eyes, remembering how he would call you whenever he would get the time.

how he would whine in your ear about wanting to see you already, and you’d ask him to focus on his work saying, “i’m right here hwa, go now, focus on your work.”

he snorts when you get up, ready to change out of your clothes and he spins on his back, leaning on his elbows.

“you’re.. i get why you don’t express your undying love for me,” he starts, and you hum out a why.

“because you’re tsundere,” he pauses when he watches you unbutton your shirt through the reflection of the mirror, “or at least that’s what the teens there said.”

he watches you chuckle, “you talked about me to the kids there?” nodding he positions himself with his head on the bed frame.

“they said you were like that, you don’t show your love for me.” you take off your shirt, leaving you in a tank top that makes him lick his lips.

“oh yeah?” you ask him, quietly turning around.

“...do you love me?” he asks, and you told your head to the side, a small smile on your face.

his wide eyes bore into yours as you come to sit on the bed, or more so on him, straddling his waist which he welcomed happily. already having his arms around your hips.

you hold onto his hands, fiddling with his fingers, the one where his band sat. you lift your head to meet his eyes, “i’m not hesitant to show my affection to you, i-i just haven’t felt that way for someone, so this is new to me.”

you caress his hands quietly and he watches you in anticipation, lifting his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

you let out a sigh, and hesitatingly ask. “do you...love me?”

he smiles slightly, “i do,” he breathes in.

“a lot,” he continues in his deep voice, “you make me happy.”

he wants to say so much more, that you make him feel giddy, have butterflies erupt in his stomach whenever he’s by you. the stares you give him, the ones full of tease and playfulness that makes him laugh in the most inappropriate places.

how you tap your thighs and spread them, and he’d press his lips into a thin line, trying not to break out into a smirk. or when you back him up to a wall, teach him how to fight by holding his hands or how to work a sword.

but by seeing the look on your face, he knows you know everything he’s thinking. you’ve always been observant, so he knows for a fact that you’re probably reading his mind right now.

“then you should know my answer,” you say, giving him a smile that makes his heart swell.

both of you can’t believe that this is where you two ended up, from a loveless marriage to one that’s full of love and affection to the point no one has to stay it verbally.

“let me hear it then,” he mutters, moving his hands from your hips to intertwine with yours. “say it once in for all.”

you look down quietly, finding it hard to form the words together. you know you want to say something, but you can’t seem to form them together, instead all you do is stare into his eyes.

he smiles, and in seconds he has you flipped onto the bed. both of you rolling on it with a grunt, you stare into each other’s eyes contently.

ignoring the surrounding and communicating through your expressions, you look down at his lips and make the move to peck them, moving away slowly and placing your leg over his torso.

he grins at your actions and brings you closer so that your heads resting on his chest, “i didn’t know you were shy too,” he mumbles, and you bite the insides of your cheek.

hiding your face in his chest, you fist his shirt with your hands. you maybe be all dominant with your personality, but you’re yourself with him.

he wraps his arm around your shoulders and sighs, tucking your head under his chin. he then remembers something, leaving your hold for a second and searching something in his drawer.

“what’re you looking for?” you ask out of curiosity and all he responds with is a “surprise.”

“actually, meet me tomorrow night at the gazebo you cornered me at.” he says and you nod.

“if you try to kill m-“

“y/n, no, baby, sleep.”

you stare at yourself in the mirror, dressed in a white ensemble that was requested by seonghwa for whatever he’s going to do tonight, and you hope it isn’t him killing you.

you know he’s standing by the gazebo waiting patiently for you, but you can’t help but try and look a bit presentable before walking out towards the gardens.

hands sweaty, and heart pounding as each and every step you take roots nervousness in your gut.

when you see him standing there with his back faces to you, in an all-black fit, you can’t help but look at him in amuse. the way his larger and built body is shown off by the clothes sticking to him.

shaking your thoughts away, you call out for him. “seonghwa,”

he turns around with a smile, you swallow before walking to him, hands neatly folded behind your back.

“you came,” he says, snaking an arm around your waist.

“of course,” you mumble back, letting him hold you. he then points at the corner; your eyes follow his and they immediately widen.

“seonghwa, t-that’s stunning.” your lips part in surprise and he smiles, ushering you forward by the small of your back.

your eyes fall upon the fluffy blanket he has laid on the ground, a small basket near the corner, pillows scattered around the blanket and two bottles of wine.

“you’re insane,” you mumble quietly, tightening your hold onto his shirt. you hear him chuckle, pulling you to sit by him on the blanket.

your eyes shine when they fall over the water, the atmosphere was weirdly intimate. you two sat by the running water under the moonlight, sitting right by one another in silence.

the air sifted through your hair, playing with it slightly. “do you like it?” he asks, nervousness washing over him.

you nod twice, “i do, oh my god,” you pause. “i do, i love it.” he breaks out into a smile, rubbing a hand over your back.

he grabs you by the waist and settles you in between his legs, your insides flip when your back hits his broad front.

you lean back and he wraps his arms around you, placing a peck on your temple. you smile and place your hands over his, intertwining them together.

“do you know why i brought you here?” he asks, rocking you side to side.

you shake your head and feel your heart swell at his low voice humming, “there’s something i’ve been wanting to give you,”

his fingers fiddle yours when you feel him slide the black ring out, you watch him quietly slide it over to your right hand.

he then reaches behind his back and pulls a velvet box, your smile falters and he uses both his hands to open it in front of you.

“remember when i went out to ecuador?” he says, “i bought this for you.”

he opens the box fully and your eyes widen, “seonghwa, why?”

your eyes fall upon the stunning ring he shows off to you, it’s a light emerald diamond sitting nearly on a thin silver band.

he takes your fingers in his and slides it on your ring finger, “i know when we first got married, we didn’t care about one another.”

“in fact, we both didn’t even want the wedding.” he pauses to recollect, “it looked like a fairytale but there were no sincere emotions from us.”

“i wanted to restart it,” he says, squishing his cheek against yours. “so i brought a new one, the one i chose.”

your eyes fall upon the ring in your hands, “will you marry me, again, this time with all the happiness?”

you hear his voice falter, and you smile, turning your body around fully. “do i have any choice?” you ask with a sheepish smile when his eyes meet yours.

he chuckles, “well not really because you’re already mine,” and you grin. “but for formality sakes, will you, the y/n, marry me, solidifying our marriage once again?”

you shake your head at his silliness, “of course, you idiot.” you say between giggles.

he then pulls you to his chest and you both fall back unexpectedly, letting out a yelp when falling but he grabs you before you could hit the ground.

you lay on top of him, his hands firmly resting on your hips. he looks down at you and smirks, brushing your hair back from your face.

“did you have a good flight?” he teases, and you sit up right on his waist, hands resting on his stomach.

he raises his eyebrows, poking his tongue against the wall of his cheek. tapping his hands on your hips before bringing them behind his head.

you then lean front and place a peck on his lips, surprising him. “thank you,” he smiles at that but that smile quickly turns into a groan when you shift on him.

he grips your hips at that, making you swallow when the colour of his eyes darken. “what’re you doing?” he asks, voice airy and strained.

you look at him in confusion, “nothing?” and he bites his lower lip, sitting up right so now he’s directly in front of you.

“oh yeah?” he quips, a smirk growing on his lips as he inches closer.

you shift once again and it lets out a low growl, and that’s when you realize what he means because you feel something poke at you.

you suck in a breath and try to get up, but he’s got his hands over you, holding your thighs. you feel his stare searching your face and then landing on your lips, and then a little lower.

he finds himself staring at the strap of your dress that’s fallen down, he swallows he sees that you aren’t wearing a bra and that he can see the trace of your boob and the hardened nipples poking through the material.

“i-it’s cold,” you whisper, feeling his stare. he lifts his hand up to play with the strap, fiddling with it before he tugs it down.

he does the same to the other strap, fiddling with it and the tugging it down. enough so that he can see the top your breasts and he looks at you, your eyes already onto his.

his fingers graze them through the dress, and he lowers his mouth to place a soft kiss, you hiss at the way he licks at the skin right after.

his large hands come to grab your breasts, softly squeezing them and your thighs twitch. making the man grit his jaw, when you move your dress rides up and it leaves him to little to no imagination.

he brushes his lips over your neck, and you shiver, he bunches your hair to the side and attaches his lips right under your ear.

you whine when he pokes his tongue out, the mood changing from all nice and fluffy one to a one that’s full of desire.

“seonghwa,” you let out shakily, he hums.

“let me take care of you too,” you wrap and arm around his shoulder, lowering him to the ground and bringing your hand to his crotch.

he says something incoherent and then proceeds to unbuckle his pants, you help him lower them before quirking an eyebrow at him.

“now who’s in a hurry?” you say, tracing his waistband that makes him twitch.

you chuckle and bring his briefs down, running a hand down his cock. he twitches when you do so, eyes shutting and eyebrows meeting.

you then take your own panties off and take a hold of his wet cock in your hands; he groans and grunts at the pressure and rolls his eyes back when he feels you sink down him slowly.

you hang open your mouth at the silent cry of pleasure, hands landing beside his face to support your body and his hands landed in your ass, moving slowly around him.

your lips brushed against his neck and you sat straight, hands on his toned stomach as you moved up and down, your breasts bouncing with the impact and seonghwa gets a hold on your breasts, tweaking and rolling them.

you moan breathily as your legs shuddered at the immense amount of pleasure coming over you in a short time. hearing his cry for you name has you going faster, “y/n- fuck.”

you hum before leaning over to place your lips over his, muffling his own moans. his hands bring down your dress to your waist as you kept on getting him to a new high.

“i-i’m close,” he responds, voice strained, and you moaned at the sensation and it only makes you go faster, and he eventually comes inside you.

you pull yourself out of him and plop your sweat lined body next to his, chests heaving up and down as the two of you breathed out loudly.

“let me help you now baby,” he turns to hover over you, bunching your dress to your waist and you let out a whine of his name.

he brings his cock and lines it down your wet folds, he enters in slowly and you hear the wetness at the friction.

he holds your arms beside your head and rolls his hips into yours, “h-hwa, what if someone c-comes!”

he smirks, “let them baby, let ‘em see us.” he groans, thrusting into you as you moaned out his name as quietly as you could.

“louder y/n,” he demands, “let them hear.”

and as if on time, he does a particular thrust that made you cry his name out loud. his hair falls over his eyes, ticking over your forehead slightly.

he watches your face contorting to the pleasure, and it riles him to go faster, grunting and grinding to you. loving the way, you say his name and the way it rolls of your tongue with a hint of airiness at the end.

you eyes roll back and your back arches to his, grinding at his own pace before falling back and letting him take control.

“who’s are you?” he growls, and you wail your head to the side, responding with yours to which he says, “that’s my good girl.”

before he stops, breathing heavily and pulling it out of you. slumping on you and then braking you to his chest, “i love you.” he says and you nod against his chest.

“me too,” he snorts and then smacks your ass at the answer you gave.

“general, what’s the deal at the border?” you hear yunho ask, mingi standing by him.

“i, i think someone’s scheming something against us.” you look up from the number of files, “check at the soldiers who patrol the border, see anything suspicious and immediately report that to me.”

“why?” jongho buts in, and you rub your temples.

“because,” you pause, and they all stare at you in anticipation.

“we might be going at war.”

“shit.” wooyoung speaks from the back, “san isn’t back eros yet, the situation there is worse but if we had him, and even if there’s a war, if san was here, we would win no matter what.”

“well yeah, he is a literal demon reincarnated.” hongjoong snorts and you laugh, “but, me and yunho will go look over at the border.”

“i’ll look over at the hidden entrances of eden,” mingi exclaims, “might find something there.”

“wooyoung, help me by finding out just who the enemy could be with you connections.” your remark and he offers a salute from the couch.

“and please,” you stop wooyoung, “don’t go seducing someone.”

jongho snorts at you, “says that one who does it everywhere.”

you throw a paper weight at the man, picking your tongue out. “ew please, i hear it sometimes too.”

“go away!” you yell, cheeks warming up. “you’re dismissed!”

“sheesh,” mingi says and you glare at him, watching all of them hurry out.

just as they leave, you hear them whistle in the hallways and then the door opens. revealing a smiling seonghwa, eyed wide and cheeks puffed.

you clear your throat and stand up, “h-hey,”

he walks to you with a smile and wraps his arm around you, “hey baby, look!” his wide eyes bore into yours, showing the bouquet of red flowers. “for you milady.”

you laugh at him, squishing his cheeks before walking behind your desk.

“ah,” he starts, “i might have to leave for a trip soon, something with a few kingdoms needing help.”

you nod, “alone?”

he nods, pressing his lips into a thin line. “dad might want me to take the guys, jongho would be staying if that what you’re asking.”

he comes to lean on your desk, “when will you be leaving?”

“tomorrow morning,”

“for how long?”

he sighs, “i don’t know.”

you pause, watching his face turn into a frown. you reach forward to take his hands into yours, rubbing your thumbs over his skin.

“i’ll wait, go do your duties.” you say, “our future king.”

he snorts and you smile, “i’ll be back super quick, i promise.” he extends his pinky at you, shaking your head you joined them anyways.

he grins and his eyes turn into crescents, he decides to spend the entire day with you. eating your favourite dishes, then playing nonsensical jokes, him helping you with half your work also the only time you two were serious.

he’d constantly keep having his hands somewhere on you, to which you at first would shove it away, but now you’re more lenient.

and so when the day ended, you were left with the sentence he kept repeating over and over again.

“i’ll be back soon, wait for me.”

when seonghwa left for a trip, you expected it to be short and sweet. it was supposed to be short, but then it quickly escalated to one week, to two weeks and now to five extra weeks.

you hadn’t seen the man in almost one and a half month, except only hearing his voice through the telephone in your office and the bedroom.

it’s as if he went back to the navy again, but in reality, he was off to visit the kingdom’s outside empire.

the ones who had fallen because of the low economic growth and high unemployment rates, to take care of that, the heirs of each kingdom had been sent off for aid.

leaving only, you and jongho in the palace, teaching the new trainees the basic skills. which was mostly resulting in jongho bossing them over until you came in and told jongho to stop bossing them around.

you had taken over the responsibility to fill in for seonghwa’s position as an heir in eden as well. doing his work while conversing with him over the phone as he instructs you on what to do and what not too.

along with that, you were barely leaving your office. sometimes even spending the nights in there, sleeping on the couch because your room felt too lonely.

the warm interior of your office gave you the warmth that was similar to seonghwa’s, the work had been piling up for you to sign and read every time you would wake up.

and it had been like this for an entire month, you working, waking up early for your training sessions, eating, getting into the palace work, reading documents sent in by the king, switching to go watch over the soldiers outside, then eat, look over a few files before eventually passing out on your chair.

resulting in you waking up with a neck cramp, but hey, at least you got majority of the work done.

when you finally sit down on the couch for the first time today, it doesn’t last long as jongho enters the room with a tray of tea and food.

“for you,” he says, placing the test on the table beside you before walking out to his own room.

“thanks, ho.” you tell him, a hand reaching to grab the tea to which you gasped quietly after tasting.

you lean back on your chair, eyeing the room until your eyes land on the telephone and immediately a smile creeps up your lips and you reach out for it.

your fingers trace the phone softly until punching in the numbers, the number that he calls you from.

you bring it your ear and wait for the bell to go, to hear seonghwa’s deep voice that made you curl your toes. hear him greet you happily even though you know he’s dead tired, but when you got no response from the other side you placed the phone down and got up.

grabbing a few papers before leaning you front on the table, reading them through while munching on the treats jongho brought.

but that doesn’t last long, because only five minutes later you hear the door crack open and a pair of arms snaking your waist.

you fall back because you immediately who it is, the expensive scent all too familiar to your nose.

“hey baby,”

you hear his low voice rumble in your ear, “hi, seonghwa.”

he wraps around your waist tightens and he buries his face in your neck, sending a tingly feeling all over your body that you’ve missed.

“how are you? tired?” he nods against your neck and you reach back to ruffle his hair a little.

“never tired for you,” he places a peck on your neck and spins you around by your waist.

when your eyes meet his, the speed of your heart doubles. he’s standing there with a shit eating grin on his face that you’ve come to love, black hair carefully pushed back and a smile that has your insides flipping.

he takes the papers from your hand and chucks them away, your wide eyes flickering to them as you try and grab them, but he beats you to it.

instead, he grabs your arms and places then around his neck, jerking you closer. “you must be tired, let’s go to bed.” you whisper out, but he shakes his head, eyes falling down in your lips.

he towers over you completely, he looks down at you with softness and yet playfulness that shoots you warm ness to your face, feeling a thick tension building in the air as you stare at each other.

“i missed you,” you nod shakily, inhaling sharply when he brings his hand to tuck your hair behind.

“i-i did too,” you stutter out when he pushes his weight on you, and you let out the smallest of whines that as him clenching his jaw.

his minty breath tickles over your lips, “hm?” he asks, tilting his head tauntingly.

you don’t hold back the breathy exhale when he swiped his thumb over your lower lip, you stare at him while his eyes are over your lips.

“did you know how much i missed you?” his other hand lowering the band of your pants, “can i show you how much i missed you, hm? what i would think about doing when you weren’t by me? when i couldn’t fall asleep and missed you?”

your breathing wavers and you unbuttons your pants, “did you know how many times i had to get off at the thought of my pretty little baby?”

“seonghwa,” you say, voice coming out airy and strained when he brings his other hand down to push down your pants slowly, revealing you to the cold.

he hums, dipping his head to your neck and you suck in a breath. “you know much i wanted to touch you but i couldn’t?”

the atmosphere darkens with every bit of list and desire, his eyes are dark and intense as he stares at you biting your lip.

he places a soft peck under your ear, and you hold onto his forearm, “how much i wanted to hear your pretty voices crying my name?”

you could only let out a moan at his words, desperate and whiney that has him smirking. “tell me you thought of me,” he grips on your waist, slowly running a hand down your leg.

“i did,” you inhale sharply when he wraps your leg around his torso. “i missed you so much, you had no idea.”

there’s a strong feeling of arousal pooling in between your kegs and you can’t help but stare at him.

he holds back a groan of his own and it takes him a second to push your arms back and slam his lips over yours. a moan escapes you when you finally feel his lips after days of nothing.

the way your lips mould together like puzzles, so desperate and so whiny. it’s the way your lips smash against one another, battling not for dominance but for the feeling you two have missed.

the sound of teeth clashing, lips smacking and small mewls and moans echo the room. seonghwa grips onto your hips firmly, planting you on your desk. you let out a noise of surprise and he grins against your lips.

softly yet rhythmically moving together, never letting the other part away even a moment. your arms reaching up behind his neck and deepening the kiss, lips moving in sync with each other, groaning softly when he bites on your lip and you tug on his dark locks.

you have to push him away to breathe out loud, chest heaving up and down and he rests his forehead on yours.

“god, i missed you so much,” he whines, pressing his lips on your neck. trailing down to your collarbone while placing open mouthed kisses all long.

he grabs onto your shirt, and slowly starts to unbutton it, while you find yourself staring at his lips. pecking them every now and then until you hear him moan when his eyes land on your breasts.

you bite your lips, probably hard enough to draw blood when he licks his lips and cups your breasts. growling at the softness and the fact that you were braless, his large hands squish your skin and you through your head back.

he swallows and kneads and pinches with both his hands and you let out his name like a mantra, “you’re stunning,” he whispers before lowering his lips to mould on your breast.

while he sucks and circles his tongue relentlessly on your boob, his other hand tweaks and rolls your hardened and sensitive nipples.

eliciting cries for his name, “h-hwa-“ you moan out when he delivers a harsh suck on your skin, pulling away with a pop.

a wave of heat forms in your panties that has you grinding on table, his lips are onto your boobs, placing soft feathery yet ticklish kisses all over. he growls out how much of a pretty baby you’ve been as he continues his sweet torture.

when he feels you grind against him, he throws his head back. watching your face through his hooded eyes, how your mouth hung open and how quickly you bit down on your lip.

your eyebrows crossing as your eyes shut tight, his hands then trail down to your stomach, massaging it softly before caressing his fingers over your clothed clit.

“seonghwa,” you whine, feeling wetness starting to firm in your pants.

you shake when he growls, hands reaching for his shirt and throwing it away, your fingers grazing down his toned body while he plays with the band of your black panties.

he lets out a noise from the back of his throat when you lick a stripe down his neck, slowly and feverishly.

“i need you,” he grits, “right now baby, right now.”

it takes him a second to push you back on the desk, bribing your pants down leaving you only in your panties as you leaned up on your elbows.

he traces his fingers slowly over your panties and when he feels the wetness, he lets out a groan of your name. “y/n...”

and you nod at that, letting him slowly drag your underwear down to your ankles.

“fuck, baby.” he lets out a whine when he wyes your wetness, “i wanna fuck you so bad,” you fail to not let out a pathetic whine.

he trails a finger down your folds, and you shake, “i want to feel you, make you cry and moan my name out again and again and then fill you up with me, all of me.”

you let out a broken whimper when he kneels down, his hot breath fanning your inner thighs before it reaches you wet folds.

he places soft kisses and long licks where he twirls his tongue on your inner thighs before he slips in his finger and presses his mouth onto your clit.

his hot mouth breathing against already wet and aching cunt, “seonghwa...” you whimpered pathetically, clutching the table as he licked a strip down your folds making you shudder underneath him.

you let out a loud cry of his name when he does so, feeling him pump his finger in and out so slowly at your legs start to weaken.

it feels like it’s been forever since you’ve felt him, and he feels the same because he eats you out like he’s been starving. his long tongue circles and sucks on the bundle of nerves while you let out strangled moans that has his cock hardening in his pants.

“so pretty,” he says before diving his tongue in making you let out a moan for his name as he moved in and out of you skillfully. alternating from long slow licks to small circles with his fingers to his tongue lapping sinfully against your clit until he's had his fingers easily sliding in and out of you.

you arch your back to his fingers and you feel the immense coil of heat starting to become unbearable, you lips moan out a “seonghwa,” which he hums in response against your pussy, and you feel the vibrations.

“i-“

“come, come on me.” he says and almost immediately you find yourself coming off the high, he’s quick with his tongue and licks out every juice that comes out you.

you fall back on the desk, breathing out heavily and shutting your eyes. seonghwa stands up and you hear the unbuckling of his pants and you can’t help but let out a chuckle.

“you’re so needy,” you mock him, rising up to grab the back of his neck and bringing your lips to his.

he gets rid of his pants and briefs; you wrap your legs around his waist and he groans at his own sensitivity. you smile against his soft and now swollen lips, tasting yourself faintly on his tongue.

he holds onto your waist, squeezing it slightly. “desk or couch,” he asks in-between the kiss, and you whisper out a couch.

and he immediately picks you up, your naked bodies grazing again one another, emitting warmth that contrasted with the otherwise chilly room.

you giggle once he lays you on the couch and finds himself chuckling, “why are you like this,” asking about how you’re laughing at him being serious.

“because,” you reach to cup his cheeks, “it’s you.”

he smiles, the one with dimples. and moves his lips to your neck, you close your eyes and let him roam around.

his lips brush against the shell of your ear and you shiver when his deep and gruff voice fills them. “let me fill you up y/n,” he pleads, and your heart rate accelerates.

“fill you up,” he brushes his lips against your cheeks, “fill you up so good, all of me, hm?”

he lowers his voice, “let me fuck you so bad, so you’re crying my name out. i want everyone to know how good i make you feel,”

you nod and reach for his cock, that’s not already dripping with pearls of pre cum over his pink tip. you whine at the vision and pushes you back, pumping a hand down his length he settles between your thighs.

“fuck me seonghwa,” you say and his eyes darken, “fill me up, with you, only y-“

your next sentences are muffled into cries when he lines his cock against your clit, teasing the tip up and down before entering you inch by inch.

feeling yourself stretch out at his thick length, he pounds into you at a fast speed as if he’s never done before, your body moving against the bed as he grunts and groans and grinds himself into you.

your head falls back, mouth hung open as he starts to roll his hips into yours and you let out a cry that could only be described as borderline pornographic.

“seonghwa- you feel so- so good.” you let out as he continues to go at different speeds, the room filling with his own loud moans.

“f-fuck,” your eyes roll back when he hits that certain spot in you, again and again, you let out a cry, throwing your head back on the pillow while releasing moans and whimpers of his name in pleasure.

he drops his head down to your shoulder, burying his face into your neck. “i’m so close baby, hold on for me hm?” you wrap and arm around his shoulder, throwing your own head back at the pleasure.

he whines and groans into you when he feels you clench around him and he pounds into you again, fast and hard and deep and you let a tiny, pleasurable moan as the heat in you becomes unbearable and you came once again.

“i-i’m close,” he responds only seconds later, voice strained, and you moaned at the sensation and it only makes him go faster and he eventually comes inside you.

he pulls out you carefully, watching you wince at the sensitivity. sweat lines both your bodies and he slumps down on you, wrapping his arms around you.

he pecks your forehead, nose and then he’s about to place on your lips that the two of you roll off the couch and right onto the floor.

you both fall into fits of laughter and he pulls you close to him, sighing happily when he turns to you. pointer finger poking your cheek and you open your eyes, staring at him with a playful glint.

you two pause and then burst out laughing, the room echoing with your happiness. he bites at your ear and you squeal, slapping his chest.

when he rolls off of you and slides to your side, both of you lay in the middle of the room, naked. hair spread on the carpet below, sighing and humming happily.

“are we planning to-“

“i love you.”

you bite the insides of your cheek, looking the opposite way when you feel his stare on you. he leans up hurriedly and hovers his face over yours, you shyly avoid his face until he holds into your jaw softly.

“w-what did you say?” he asks, eyes wide and sparkly, “say it again.”

when you stare at him intently and don’t say anything, he taps your cheek. “say it again y/n, you have no idea how much i’ve been dying to hear those words.”

you smile playful, bringing your hands to his cheeks. “i said i love you, silly.”

he tries to smile, “say it again,”

“i love you,” you tilt your head, and the glint in his eyes switch.

“again,” he lowers himself.

“i love you.”

“one more time,”

“i love you.”

“jus-“

“i take it ba-“

he doesn’t let you finish your sentence, his lips slam onto yours. “don’t, don’t ever take it back.”

“understand?” he asks, and you nod.

“understood sir.” you grin, and he laughs.

“i’ll make you happy, i swear.” he mumbles as he hides his face in your hair, you smile and shut your eyes.

“and i’ll protect you, i swear.”

you run down to your room, leaving the meeting about the war. the war that at this point was confirmed, yunho and hongjoong had found a loophole when they visited the border.

only confirming every suspicion, you had, the enemy wasn’t in any of the eight kingdoms. but instead, outside from those kingdoms who seonghwa had gone to help at his last trip a few months ago.

from wooyoung’s special sources, he’s found out exactly when they will attack. exactly two days from now.

it felt like a betrayal, but you knew something else was up but that’s not what you were thinking about right now.

instead, a bigger thing was on your mind.

you walk out the bathroom, one hand on your stomach and the other running through your hair.

“yeosang,” you squeak, “are you a hundred percent sure?”

both you and yeosang decided to talk in private, him joining you as you ran out the meeting. which only confirmed his suspicions over your habits these days, he’s leaning on the wall opposite of yours.

hands crossed over his chest while a small smile plays on his lips, he nods slowly, and you shut your eyes.

“you’re feeling it aren’t you?” he muses, he runs a hand through his blond locks and a smile creeps up his lips.

your mouth drops and you could feel you heart hammering against your rib cage, swallowing you look up to him walking towards you.

“yeosang, we’re at a war,” you realize, “t-this can’t be happening right now, i have to go fight in the war in two days and i can’t do it like this!”

your outburst is understandable, yeosang not only sympathizes with you but also is excited about how a new change will affect both you and seonghwa.

“y/n, i know-“ he pauses, “you should tell seonghwa.”

you sit down on your bed and yeosang exits the room, a sigh slips down your lips and you fall back onto the bed. your hair falling prettily around you, slowly you trail your hand over your stomach and bite your lip.

you smile but it fades away quickly, the threat of enemies attacking the kingdom any time in the coming two days scares you. but this time it scares you for a different reason and you’re angry, frustrated and irritated even because the timing of everything wasn’t right.

you shot up from your bed and started to march down the hallway, ignoring the guards who immediately shoot a salute as you ran down the hall.

once you reached seonghwa’s office, you burst open the door and the man inside flinches, dropping his files.

his wide eyes soften when they land on you. “oh, bab-“

“you!” your finger points at him and he raises his eyebrows as you walk towards him, backing him up to the wall behind, his hands coming up by his head.

you grab his collars, “you, you! you finally got what you’ve been trying to do.”

he tilts his head, eyes confused. “and that is?”

“i’m pregnant and y-“

“you what,”

you pause, your shoulders dropping. his face drops and you swallow, “are yo-“

“i knew it!” he interrupts, yelling and then he cups your face, he’s got the biggest smile, his pearly whites show, and he smiles so big it almost eyes are hidden.

he presses his lips against yours, again and again. wrapping his arms around you he lifts you and twirls you around, “p-put me down!”

“oh my god, oh my god, we’ll be parents oh god.” he whispers, placing his forehead on yours. “i love you so much, you have no idea.”

he keeps pressing his lips onto yours repeatedly, you can feel him smile against them as he whispers i love you’s in between.

you cup his face and force him to look at you, the pad of your thumb rubs near his eyes, wiping away the tears pooling around his eyes.

“how long?” he asks.

“one and a half months.”

he’s got a pout on his face and his eyebrows are almost touching, something you’ve noticed he does whenever he’s about to cry.

“why are you crying?” you ask, and he cups your hands with his, pecking your hands.

“you just gave me the biggest gift of my entire life, how can i not cry?” he mumbles against your hands, eyes pouring out fat tears and he sniffles. you laugh at his words and pull him into a hug.

he immediately wraps his around your waist, burying his face in your neck deeper, he places soft kisses over your shoulder. you giggle and wrap your hands around him tighter, you could feel his rapid heartbeat syncing with yours.

he kneels down and taps your stomach with wide eyes, once you pull back though, your face falls and he notices right away. “seonghwa, what about the war?”

he visibly stiffens and grips on your waist, “no, no, no!” he whispers, “you’re not going out there to fight.”

“seonghwa,” you grasp his hands, “i have to fulfil my duty, i-i’ll put extra shields around myself so no-“

“your duty is our kid growing in your stomach,” he interrupts, moving his hand to your stomach.

you sigh, “i have to follow through my orders with the soldiers! after all, we’re fighting for your land.”

“my title or my status or land doesn’t mean a god damn thing if the only thing i’ve ever wanted would be taken away from me.” this time he holds onto your shoulders and shakes you slightly.

you shake your head, “seonghwa, i know, but my job is to protect you and everyone who lives under eden.”

he leans closer, “i’ve vowed to protect you y/n, twice, and now with our kids,” he spared a glance at your stomach. “we’ll go to war, i’ll run it.”

“seonghwa you can’t, you have no experience in what i’m in.” you pause, “granted you were in the navy, but this, this is different hwa.”

his eyes soften at the use of his name that you only ever called in more intimate moments, “i don’t care baby, if it means you two would be safe, i’ll go.” his intertwines his fingers with yours.

“besides,” he dramatically flips his hair, “at least i can win sword fights.”

“hwa,”

“trust me.”

you stare at him in worry, considering what you had found out just last night. but when he pouts, you chuckle at him and he pulls you into his embrace, “fine,” you sigh, “you can go, but only on one condition.”

he smiles and caresses your hair, “and that is?”

“i need the father of our baby to be alive,” you bury further in his chest, “if you die, i will go find you and then kill you myself.”

he laughs and you feel his chest vibrate, “only the father of our child? what about your husband?” he teases, and you lightly smack his back.

“i want both of them back.”

seonghwa had been going around, yelling and screaming loudly to everyone in the palace that you were pregnant. you had to hide your face behind him as he told away with a big smile on his face, his parents were all ecstatic and immediately showered you with presents and blessings.

“you’re really excited, huh?” you grin, fixing the blanket of your bed. glancing swiftly at seonghwa sitting on the couch in his night wear, supporting a book in his hand.

“you have no idea,” you stop and lean on the bed frame, your eyes go over his face and smile.

he sees you staring and puts his book to the table beside him, he spreads his thighs wide, tilts his head and then pats his thighs at you.

wiggling his eyebrows at you, “your throne, my queen.” and then pats his thighs again, you snort out loud and walk to your side of the bed.

he joins with a pout quickly and sits beside you, a hand around your shoulder, he presses his lips against your temple.

you sigh and lean onto him more, eyes closing slowly. his hand caresses your shoulder while his lips maintain near your face.

“do you think we would have a boy or a girl,” you mumble against him, and he brings his hand over to your hair.

“it doesn’t matter,” he says, and you nod with a smile, “but, i do hope whoever is in there is a boy.”

you open your eyes at that and tilt your chin up, “and what if it’s a girl?”

he smiles, “if it’s a girl, i don’t think i would have the heart to marry her away.” your heart swells at his words, he pulls you into a hug and stays like that until your eyes start to fall heavy.

“i love you,”

he whispers and when you don’t respond, he assumes you’ve fallen asleep. smiling he gets himself comfortable around you and closes his eyes.

“i know.”

the next two days were intense, even the word intense was an understatement. everyone in the palace had been moving around every day, from the workers in the palace and those in the kingdom. all and every soldier available and those who had retired were in the field practicing.

you could hear the swords clashing against one another, grunts and groans of soldiers as they battled each other. every field was packed with men, the archery field, the open grounds and even the main property of the palace.

you’re walking around and guarding the rest, helping them here and there while teaching them how to do the right thing.

seonghwa and you had been monitoring everything, last two nights and days were spent in your office. planning out everything that would lead to eden winning, rearranging soldiers at different points around the battlefield, cannons, bombs and even artillery were numbered.

both of you wanted the least damage and had even sent a letter to the rivalry group for a better understanding to mend things out, but once they denied and initiated war by killing a few of your men.

both of you had no choice but to run the war, everything had to be perfect, for the kingdom and for you three.

and now, all of you stand together in lines. seonghwa stands left of you while yunho stands to the right, both his parents are standing at the balcony a level above.

“i know this is hard everyone,” seonghwa starts, “your general won’t be able to join you in this, so i’ll be taking the position.”

you step forward, collectively gathering their attention. “i want every single one of you back,” you say, eye glancing to every corner.

“if one of you is missing,” you pause, “i’ll come to the field myself and find you, and then i’ll kill you.”

a roar of laugh echoes the grounds, and it lessens the weight on you, as the rest get busy you turn to your battalion.

“you all better come back, be careful and use your mind.” you tell them, and they respond with a smile, “and you,” you turn to seonghwa who raises his eyebrows.

“don’t go overboard! don’t do useless things-“

“i won’t!” he whines.

“i know you will,” you sigh and he chuckled before coming to place his hands around your neck, “remember how at south there will be people there, list-“

“i know, mom.” he says and leans down to press his lips onto yours, you hear the low ‘ooh’s’ of the crowd and pull back.

“i’ll be right back, wait for me okay?” he says with a grin and you manage to smile back, he then nods at everyone else who start to make their way out the palace grounds.

you watch them leave the grounds and you swallow thickly, instinctively placing a hand on your stomach. a sickening feeling starting to loom over you, and you turn around to yeosang standing there.

he nods at you and the two of you walk to his quarters, “are you sure?” he asks, handing you your armour that you wear on top of your clothes. “i don’t want you to go there and potentially hurt yourself knowing you’re pregnant.”

“we have no choice yeo, you know what your patient said yesterday.”

last night, yeosang burst through your office doors, yanking your arm and dragging you to his office without even getting the chance to say hi.

“yeosang, w-what’s going on?” you ask the man holding your wrist, stepping in his room only to see a patient bandaged over his legs, arms and head.

you glance at yeosang in confusion, asking him to explain why exactly he brought you here especially when there’s someone he’s tending to.

before yeosang gets the chance respond, the man in front immediately stands up, hissing and then bowing.

“gener- your highness,” his low and gritty voice goes onto introduce himself, “i can’t reveal my name, but i have to tell you something.”

you exchange glances with yeosang who nods, ushering you to a chair, and he comes to stand behind you.

“what happened to you?” you ask out of worry, eyeing the white bandages over him.

“dorado,” the man says, “dorado is after you.”

you place the chained veil around your waist, securing it by placing your armour on top. “i am sure, and as for that, it’ll be alright.”

“he’ll be mad,” he mutters while tightening the chain around your forearms. “very mad.”

you pause to look at him, “i know how to protect myself yeo... and as for seonghwa, it’ll be okay, he won’t even know i’m there.”

he gives you a look that you respond with a grin, he breaks into a chuckle and pats your shoulders.

“then i’m coming with,” he says, grabbing his own artillery from under his desk. surprising you, you would’ve never thought the doctor would have weapons with him too.

“i knew you were a sadist.” you laugh before the two of you walk out, hiding away from the guards and your parents.

“mingi i swear to god! stop screaming every two seconds!” san yells through the thick air, slashing his sword the through the wind.

“i can’t help it, he fucking stabbed me! twice!” mingi yells back, riding his horse as he cuts through the enemies with ease.

the rest are fighting with their own group of people who seem to be attacking the face, “god, why do you all go after the faces!” wooyoung yells, kicking the other in the stomach before twisting his arm.

“where’s seonghwa?” hongjoong cries out, clutching his bleeding arm while fighting.

“ayo, park seongh- oh my god he’s got a whole army on him, no wonder, they all hate him!”

seonghwa stands between the men crowding him in a circle, he grips on his sword tightly and smirks. raising his hand to motion them to come forward, as if taunting them with his fingers.

the men groan out loudly and launch themselves at him, seonghwa successfully dodges all the punches thrown at him except the one that landed on his chest, making him stumble back.

the barbaric man grabs seonghwa’s collars and yanks him to the floor, seonghwa grabs his sword and shoves it down the man’s chest all the way through. the man freezes and sees the duke smirk at him before throwing his now dead body off him.

men throw himself at seonghwa one by one and he fights his best, getting a few splotches of blood on his face while his arms bleed through his running wounds.

a man from behind comes over to attack seonghwa, his breathing so loud and raspy yet still faded into the chaos of the war. he grips his sword and raises it above his head ready to cut through seonghwa’s body.

“hey,” a voice yells and the man freezes, seonghwa keeps on putting his attention on those who attack him.

“that’s my husband you’re trying to kill.” before the man can even turn around, a sword slides through his entire neck and his blood splatters through air to the ground.

“general!”

san’s voice cries at you, you’re surprised he’s back. you hadn’t seen him ever since he went back, but you notice he looks much better and throw him a smirk.

he notices you sitting on your horse dressed in your armour and a sword in hand, looking all majestic and a smirk forms over his lips and suddenly the rage to fight increases. you shake your head at him, mouthing to not mention you, and as if you were his fuel to his fire, he lunges at the attackers.

with a snort, you pull on the two ropes coming from the horses’ head and rode through the battlefield with your sword in hand.

the wind streamed by you, whipping your hair back to show the eyes, dark and brooding and raging. those you sped past widen their eyes in fear as they start to run, your sword plays with the air, as the cloth decorating your horse flies.

it’s almost a haunting image, you on the white horse while blood drips down the sword you’re holding. your eyes are turned into slits, jaw clenched, and your rank insignia shines intimidatingly under the gloomy day.

you spot yunho and hongjoong from a far and wave at him. they stop to look at you for a quick second before making their way towards you, their jaws clenched and face bloodied. the three of you were known as a trio that worked together on the battlefield and made sure the kingdom won, you nod at them and they immediately know what to do.

“general, be safe.” you nod and begin to ride down the grounds.

yunho goes out in the south, calling for the cannons to be released. hongjoong goes to the frontline with his men as they handle the ones there, you stay in the middle, eliminating any enemy who dare attack you.

at some point in the battle, you go off your horse. dangerous for the condition you were in, but you managed to wipe off any men who attacked you, swinging your leg in their faces.

those who attacked you from behind, you grabbed their forearms and and yank them forward with the strength you had.

the wind blew in your face, a thin layer of sweat coating your face and your body under all the armour. your hair stuck to your forehead as you walked the grounds, dragging your sword behind you.

the noise it created, tickled the ears of those passing by who immediately ran off. every step you took on the now bloody sand, dripped with the blood of those you fought with.

your armour dripped blood; your sword poured the red liquid as you dragged it across the field. your face on the other hand, had a big splashes of blood, maybe even yours along with your rival enemies.

it feels like it’s been hours since the battle started, hongjoong had managed to bring down the front lines while yunho had successfully attacked with cannons. the rest had been taking care of the ones in the middle, including you.

now all you had to do was escape, so that seonghwa wouldn’t see you.

which would be impossible considering he’s standing just meters away from you, if you had to escape, you had to do it quick.

luckily, yeosang sees you and the two of you make your way back hurriedly. both of you laugh as you run away from them successfully before finally reaching the palace grounds.

“i’ll meet you at your quarters, clean up good.” yeosang says and you immediately speed off to your room, hurriedly grabbing your towel, incense and fresh clothes to change into.

picking up anything suspicious, the two of you take showers in a record time. which was impossibly fast considering the blood on you two, and the time it took for you to drain it all out to finally being able to walk out all dressed like before.

once you’re done, yeosang walks in and both your eyes widen. “fuck! the floor!” you two yell and instantly look for something to get the blood off the floor.

yeosang brings in a bucket of water which spills halfway through and so he has to go for a round two, and you grabbed a random shirt to wipe the floor. the two of you used water and literally anything to get it off as you two panicked.

not only were you two shaking but laughing at the misery you were in, but once the panic slowly calmed down. you both sighed in relief, sitting on the ground as you piled up the cloths for laundry.

“take rest,” he exhaled, “i’m sure you’re devastatingly tired.”

“thank you yeosang, really.” you reach over to pat his shoulders.

“now just, get ready for our very own duke.” he laughs, and you join him, shaking your head at the consequences you’re about to experience.

you heard the horns go off in distance not a few hours later, “they’re here, we’ve won.” you grin widely and walk out the room, yeosang following suit.

the second you walk out, it’s quite literally a mess. more than a few of your soldiers are injured, some getting carried to hospital beds. yeosang spares you a quick look and you nod, he runs down the hall, no longer was he yeosang but a doctor on duty.

you step down to help a few of the men yourself, you applaud and thank them for staying alive. when you’re helping a particular one though, he stops you and looks at you in confusion.

“general, aren’t you going to go to his highness?” you furrow your eyebrows, “he’s injured.”

your eyes immediately widen, “h-he’s what?” you whip your head to the entrance as a group of men stride in on horses.

you run, eyes searching for the one man you’re looking for. “mingi, where’s seonghwa?” you ask, your voice desperate, scared and panicky.

“he’s coming,” he smiles through the blood on his face, “don’t worry y/n, he put up a great fight.”

the worry on your face shows, your heartbeat hammering against your rib cage as your eyes wandered everywhere to meet seonghwa’s.

and when they do, you slump down in relief. eyebrows almost meeting each other while your eyes water slightly, his face is cleaned off, but you could still see the smears of blood.

his black hair is a mess, sticking to his forehead. he was head to toe sprinkled with blood as he rode on his horse, when his eyes meet yours, he immediately smiles.

“i told you i’d come back.”

you walk towards him slowly and he jumps down to take your hands in his, “where are you injured?” your eyes go over all his body, turning him around back and forth and he laughs.

you smack his shoulder, and he immediately hisses, his hands clench his shoulders, and you mumble out a sorry. he groans dramatically and you this time, slap his chest.

“stop scaring me,” you hold his hand tighter, “let’s go, i’ll clean you up.”

“hmm,” he grins, “you’ll clean me up?” and wiggles his eyebrows, your eyes roll to the back of your head.

you’re so used to his nature and yet it still brings butterflies to your stomach, wrapping your arm around his waist you guide him towards yeosang’s private office.

while you’re walking there, seonghwa talks about what he did on the field, and as if you weren’t there to see it all, you nod and praise him at what he tells you.

“now don’t move,” you sit him down, “and let me clean your wounds, grab my hand if it hurts, okay?” you tell him gently and he nods.

you reach down to take strip his upper half down, which wasn’t easy considering he would mutter sexual innuendos and how he’d hiss in pain.

you grab a big cotton swab and drench it the antiseptic, bringing it up to his shoulder. you frowned at the large cut on his skin, his eyes staring at you intently as you catered his wound.

ignoring him making kissing faces, weird faces and him blowing air to your face. or how is fingers play with your shirt, how his hand wraps around you, how he hides his pain by burying his face in your stomach. sometimes mumbling something to the baby inside.

you chant sweet nothings to him while he bites down on his lips, once you’re done stitching his wound you wrap a white bandage around his shoulder.

he finds playing with your hair as you patch him up, “y/n.” he mumbles.

you hum in response, hands still fixing the bandage. “why’s there blood on your neck,”

you freeze visibly, “o-oh it must be yours, must’ve been from when we walked here.”

he stays quiet and raises his fingers to bring over your neck, you feel them hover a bit before he lowers them down to your neck. you shut your eyes and breath shakily when the blood coming from an unknown wound touches his fingers.

“what is this,” he whispers, “why are you bleeding, y/n.”

when you don’t respond, you feel his eyes on your face. “look at me.” your shiver at his tone, so low and deep that it cut through the tension.

when you do look at him, you’re sure your eyes look guilty, sad and even worse. “where were you?”

you shake your head, “nowhere hwa, i’m telling you it’s your bl-“

he suddenly raises your hair up in a bunch and yanks down your shirt, eyes stuck on the cut right behind your neck. “this isn’t mine,” he clenches his jaw and you feel his breathing fan your skin.

he turns his head to look into your eyes, eyebrow raising as his face turns bitter. “where were you y/n,” when you try and interrupt him, “answer me right now, and don’t you dare lie.”

“me and yeosang were practicing,” oh, only if you didn’t stutter, he would’ve believed you, his eyes bore into your side and your eyes drop to the floor.

when the room goes silent, you could hear the ringing noises in your ear. the faded groans of others getting their wounds tended at, seonghwa’s hand around your waist tightens and he forces you to look at him.

“you went to the war,” he breathes.

“without telling me,” he pauses, “with our child.”

dread pools over you so quick that you almost forget to breathe, your eyes are glued shut and you hear his breathing get harsh.

“answer me y/n, did you, or did you not go to the war.”

you stay quiet for a few moments, knowing you’re in the wrong. there’s no need to hide it from him as it could possibly become a bigger deal.

“y/n.”

“i did,” you nod and almost immediately he softly pushes you away from him, “hwa, i know i’m wrong i sh-“

“don’t ‘hwa’ me right now,” he warns, eyes fueling with anger. “how- who in the right mind would go to a war, pregnant!”

he then steps towards you and you look at him in the eye, “y/n, are you fucking stupid? how, how- i don’t even have the fucking words!” he yells, and you shut your eyes.

“do you know how dangerous that is?”

“hwa, i’m okay.” you interrupt him, “i’m alive.”

“and what if you weren’t?” he yells, “huh? what if you died? what if someone shot you or stabbed you? what if our child... died, y/n?”

you suck in a deep breathe, “nothing happened seonghwa, i’m here! i’m standing in front of you, with our child!”

“you willingly went to the war,” he points a finger at you, “you put yourself and the kid in such danger, y/n are you out of your god damn mind?!”

“just listen to me pl-“

“what if something happened to our child? you’re already injured, god forbid something might’ve happened!” he cries out loud and you notice him choking up. “did you even think of that or did you just think it’ll be okay?!”

the room is so quiet, so quiet that you hear no footsteps from outside. because you know they’re hearing everything, the silence pains you and you know you’re wrong. you know that, but you did it anyway.

“seonghwa, please i’m sorry, i know i’m wrong but please listen to m-“

“why should i listen to you?” he angrily asks, “so that you can preach about you saving the kingdom?” he grabs the nearest object and throws it on the floor, yeosang’s favourite glass now sits shattered into hundreds of pieces.

“that’s not the point, seonghwa!” you yell this time, “just please let me explain to you why i did it!”

his face screams pain, his eyes are dropping tears while he breathes harshly, hands curled up into fists and eyes glaring daggers at you.

“i just wanted to protect you hwa,” your voice cuts through the silence, “i’m experienced en-“

he suddenly grabs your shoulders, and your wide eyes look at his, “i’d rather get killed than see you die with our child.”

“what you did was dumb, reckless and horrible.” he spits, “you’re horrible, i can’t believe that you would do this.”

you don’t even realize that you’re shaking, that your eyes are pooling with tears and yet they don’t drop. the heat in your throat is getting unbearable and your eyes are staring into his.

but the only difference is, yours are filled with love and his are with hate.

“you’re so selfish y/n,” he glares, “so damn selfish.” he whispers, and you swear you heard your heart crack.

“please, please hear me out hwa, i’m sorry, i’m so sorry- i, know i’m wrong for doing this but at least look at me.”

he reaches beside you and grabs his shirt, you stand still, not knowing what to do. he won’t even spare you a glance, his hands wipe the tears that keep falling of his face while yours are shaking by your side.

when he’s about to walk past you, you hastily hold onto his arm. “hwa-”

he turns around with such anger that you let go of his arm, “it’s your highness for you.” and without looking back, he walks out.

next part

taglist : @idiomaticpunk : @ofcjongho : @ateezappreciation : @sparklychangbin : @annasbananas : @happycandynoelle : @seonghwas-shinystar-x : @treasure-hwa : @etherealbyeol : @rawrrainn : @sktbzc0re : @utopiakys : @deobichoice : @hanflix : @skmoonchild : @uzumakioden : @thiccseokmin

unable to tag : @multi–trash

#seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez #ateez seonghwa #ateez smut #ateez scenarios #seonghwa smut #choi san smut #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst #seonghwa fics #ateez fics #ateez park seonghwa #ateez x reader #seonghwa x reader #ateez imagines #ateez royalty au

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clairecrive · 3 years ago

Text

"Woman" - Wolfstar x reader (Prequel)

A/n: I've found this sitting in my drafts and thought that this would be a perfect prequel for "woman".

Warnings: drinking, fluff

Word count: 1.2K

Tags: @ashlovesthemarauders, @emmaev, @acciorudolphx, @blackst0nes7077, @jupiterandbutterflies, @seldomabsent, @hannaxmaria, @hazelrose14, @aleksanderwh0r3

(add yourself to my taglist here)

HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST

It was Saturday night. Well, Sunday early morning really since it was past midnight. However, careless of the time, a group of Griffindor sat around the fire in their common room. They were engaged in a very lively game of truth or dare. Their voices often rising whenever someone revealed an outrageous truth or did a weird dare until one of them, Remus, shushed them to lower their voices.

It was a harmless game, really. The goal was to spend the time together, drink and have fun. Most of the dares were absurd. Their point was to either get the person to drink or to amuse the others with their hilarious outcome. Some of them were already drunk, read Peter and Marlene. The rest of the Marauders were much better at holding their liquor while the two other girls, Lily and Y/n, were more mindful of their drinking dreading to wake up with a terrible hangover like the last time they did this.

Another round had started and it was y/n's turn while Sirius asked the question. Knowing the boy, the girl braced herself either to reveal an uncomfortable truth or at the idea of getting through whatever Sirius asked her to.

"So, y/n, truth or dare?"

Still feeling a bit nauseous after being dared to eat as many tarts she could in a minute, y/n chose truth. Exactly as Sirius expected.

"Which one of the Marauders would you date?" Leaning back onto his hands, the long-haired boy smirked at the blush that formed on y/n's cheeks.

"Now, that's a tricky question." Rolling her eyes, she huffed already regretting choosing the "safest" option. There was no safety when it came to the Marauders, not when they were playing.

"Seems pretty straightforward to me," Remus muttered beside her.

"You see, the choice is actually between two of you." Seeing as the four boys were looking at her quizzically, she went to explain her point.

"James has been completely and utterly in love with Lily since the first year. Anyone thinking they could get his attention is simply delusional., she started listing her points with the help of her fingers.

"And Peter, well, I don't think he's really into girls for that matter so even in this case, delusional." She shrugged pointing to the almost fainted boy in front of her.

"That leaves the two of you, my dear Wolfstar," she wrapped her arms on the boys' shoulders before she continued, "and that simply means that I have one choice to make because I'm not in the habit of being a hit and run."

Turning her head so that she was facing Sirius, she lifted her arm on Remus' shoulders only so that she could point at him while talking, "we all know that Remus is the best choice here. You know, if he didn't make it a point to deprive his life of every chance of being happy, I'd say he's the perfect boyfriend."

It may have seemed that the conversation y/n was having with Sirius was of the utmost secrecy when in fact, if the red tips of Remus's ears were of any indication, he had heard everything. Marlen was giggling at something in the fire, Peter was passed out on the floor while James and Lily were whispering Merlin knows what. This conversation was as private as it was going to get, only including those directly involved.

"I'm deeply offended, I can be a perfect boyfriend thank you very much." One of Sirius' hands shot on his chest as if she had actually wounded him. His face twisted in stupor and offence. It wasn't y/n's intention to hurt him but Sirius' ways were known to every at Hogwarts. She was merely pointing out a fact.

"Of course you can," she tutted reaching out pat the hands closest to her.

"Prongs! Tell her." Not happy, Sirius turned to James trying for him to back him up but y/n didn't want this to get everyone's business. Before James could answer and come to Sirius' aid even though he knew y/n was right, she put a hand up.

"Listen, no one can be the best at everything, Pads. Besides, that doesn't mean that you're less trustworthy. I still love you dearly and you're still one of my favourite people." She added, her finger under his chin to get him to look at her.

"One you won't date," he mumbled unhappily, his eyes flickering between hers.

"I'm not going to date Moony either, am I? This was all speculation." She added in the pursuit of soothing him, pointing to the curly boy on her other side.

"I'm not opposed to that." Came Moony's ushered voice.

"What?" Both Sirius and Y/n asked, surprise evident in their voices.

"I didn't think you'd be interested so I never asked," he shrugged trying to come off as aloof. If only the red of his cheeks didn't betray him...

"Anyone who's not interested in you is either a fool or a lesbian," y/n murmured almost automatically since her brain was still processing the fact that one of the cutest boys she knew was interested in her.

"Way to go and steal my girl, Moony!" Sirius loudly grumbled, not liking in the least how his best friend was flirting with the girl he wanted to date.

"I'm not your girl," y/n lightly pointed out at the same time Remus said,

"That's not what I'm doing."

"Then, what are you doing?" Sirius asked completely ignoring her.

"She doesn't have to choose between one of us," he explained turning fully to his friend, "of course, only if she's okay with it." He then added, his eyes quickly glancing to you.

It took a while for her and Sirius to understand what Remus was hinting at. But, eventually, they did. Sirius then turned around to look expectantly at y/n as well while y/n... well she was having a hard time believing that this was really happening.

Maybe she had drunk more than she had thought.

"You don't have to answer us right now." Mistaking your reaction as hesitancy, Remus added to reassure you.

But he had gotten it completely wrong. This the best thing that could have ever happened to you. Two of the best boys you knew wanted to date you. This must be a dream.

"Provided that this is not a dream," she started, "I'm more than okay with it." She said, alternating his eyes from Sirius to Remus to goad their reactions.

Out of nowhere, she felt a sharp pain in her left arm. Snapping towards it, she was met with Sirius' grin, "so you know this is not a dream." The bastard smugly replied.

Remus frowned at him while you glared, cradling your arm to your chest.

"You really want to start this relationship with you hurting me?" you glowered.

He held a finger to his chin, lightly tapping it in an expression of mock content before it morphed into a smirk.

"On a second thought," he trailed before his finger held your chin up and his mouth met yours.

Merlin's balls.

If this was how he kissed then it's no wonder why every girl was after him.

When he finally pulled away, he gave you a small kiss which you promptly returned before pecking him again. Hell, if you could spend all your time kissing you, you would. Then someone cleared their voice and you turned to find Remus looking at you.

Before he could say anything, you leaned into him, leaving a kiss on his lips too. Then you pulled away and Sirius leaned over you to kiss him as well.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

#wolfstar x reader #wolfstar x reader fluff #wolfstar x reader imagine #wolfstar x reader imagines #wolfstar x reader one shot #sirius black x remus lupin x reader #sirius black fluff #remus lupin fluff #poly marauders #marauders era #marauders x reader #marauders fluff #marauders imagine #marauders imagines #marauders one shot #harry potter imagines #sirius black x reader #remus lupin x reader

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years ago

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JK Day 2021

...and what a day it was. I know we’re a bit late with this when looking at KST but in our time zone it’s still September 1st so it counts, right? Besides I wanted to wait until the day was over for them so I could have everything the members would post for JK so I could put it in this post as memory for us to look back on in the future.

Furthermore, as extension for the celebrations, I want to finally sit down, write and post our post about JK and his bonds with the hyung line since it’s been so long since two anons asked us about that so what better time than the weekend after JK day, right?

Anyway, let’s get into it, shall we?

The day before JKs birthday he came onto Weverse and posted three different things, including a cute selca:

Everyone of course turned up their creativity to post something for JK and also wondered among themselves what he planned on using those lyric comments for, and if he would use them for anything at all.

Sometime later before the new RUN episode aired, Seokjin appeared on Weverse and, for whatever reason, commented birthday wishes for JK under the Weverse post about the upcoming RUN episode. Because of course he did.

More than an hour before midnight KST everyone got a notification from vlive that JK had gone live:

And truly, considering it was about to be his birthday, I love how it felt more like it was ours with the gift that kept on giving that this vlive turned out to be.

Lots more below the cut:

Remember those posts that JK made in the morning on Weverse? As many, including myself, had guessed, JK gathered some of the lyric comments he liked most, or thought would work best, and proceeded to turn them into an actual song right before our eyes. The instrumental was gorgeous with a acoustic guitar and ballad like melody and it was truly fascinating watching him figuring out how to sing the lines, record them, redo them whenever he felt he could do it better, add adlibs in some places, and slowly but surely a song was created with lyrics in both English and Korean.

This really was the content I’ve always craved and I’m so, so happy we got to watch JK do this instead of him just showing us the final thing. You could see him having fun, even when he got a little frustrated at times or he wasn’t quite sure how he wanted to continue or how he wanted the words to sound like, and that he really knows what he’s doing. So many claim that Bangtan have no idea about producing and recording songs, which truly is such a stupid argument to make considering Yoongi is literally Producer SUGA and we know that, if the members want to make mixtapes they have to do them themselves, which we know Namjoon, Yoongi and Hobi have done. So JK doing all of that in the vlive? Checkmate against those idiots. Especially since it also isn’t the first time we’ve seen members work on tracks, like the behind the scenes of rap line working on DDAENG or Hobi working on songs, or even JK with Stay, even if we didn’t know it’s Stay at the time.

Once the song was finished JK went on to show us several more instrumentals he could’ve worked with, each one with a different vibe, before switching to singing a song by Justin Bieber saying he really loves his songs a lot. And then it was nearing midnight so he unpacked the cake he got, white icing/fondant with purple lettering spelling out STILL WITH YOU JK, very cute.

Right as midnight hit someone started to bang on the door so JK got up to see who’d come and, surprise, it was a very excited Hobi wishing him a happy birthday including singing the birthday song for him upon JKs request while JK lit up his golden heart shaped candle.

Hobi again returned two minutes after he’d left (between when at 1:18h JK mentioned that, for the first time that night, he’d do one more song to finish off the vlive, ha) to give him an ice cream cake he’d prepared, but also to get his phone which he’d accidentally forgotten in the room JK was in.

Once Hobi really left and JK got a taste of his ice cream cake, as well as the white cake which turned out to be chocolate flavored, the vlive concert began and, at the time, none of us knew what we were in for since we all thought he’d really do one or two more songs and that would be it. And yet that very much is not what happened, at all, and I’m so grateful for it.

This might just be the funniest screenshot in existence (please take note of the time stamps):

No wonder that, eventually, Seokjin decided to come onto Weverse to post wishes for JK a second time while also saying this (the picture is from their unit photoshoot for Winter Package):

The imagine of Seokjin just sitting in bed or whatever watching JKs vlive and hearing him say last song every like ten minutes and every time he just kept going...and going...and going while Seokjin is just waiting...and waiting...and waiting? Hilarious. But it’s also really cute how he’d wanted to wait until JK was done to not interrupt him or pull ARMYs attention away from the vlive. Truly I adore their bond, it’s adorable and chaotic and so wonderfully them.

Yoongi also posted his wishes for JK while the vlive was still going.

The one who waited until it was over was actually Namjoon who, with what he said in his tweet, actually revealed that he’d watched JKs vlive as well. In his vlive JK said that at the end of their concerts Namjoon used to always give his speech like a (school) principal, as in his long ending ment speeches, and that’s why Namjoon ‘signed’ his tweet with principal as well.

Truly I love how JK was just having fun singing their songs, taking requests from ARMY, rediscovering songs, like him wondering if they really have a song called Paradise (since the Korean title is different) and finally fulfilling ARMYs wish of hearing BTS sing it live, as well as being surprised and confused by requests for Heartbeat asking himself if them really have a song like that. But since ARMY kept asking for it, he finally looked it up and his reaction to realizing that, yes, it is a real song of theirs and also that that’s the song we were talking about which he’d completely forgotten about? Hilarious but also kind of heartbreaking for all the Heartbeat enthusiasts.

Here is the full list of all the songs he sang, some for longer, some shorter:

One thing that this vlive showed really well was just how amazing of a singer JK really is. It’s easy for people to dismiss his talent during concerts or performances, since they could always argue that him and the others get help due to the backing track etc., but here we had his raw voice singing along to their songs much the way any of us do. And he sounded stunning beginning to end. He’s such a talented singer and he’s worked so hard on his technique and voice and it’s really showing. Thinking back to what he said in his BE comeback Weverse interview about how he’d like to one day he brave enough to do a three hour concert on his own, I’d say this vlive shows that really shouldn’t be any kind of problem at all. If ARMY can listen to him essentially do karaoke for one and a half hours, then attending and enjoying a full on JK concert would be no issue whatsoever. It’d actually be amazing, I’m certain, and I’d totally be down to seeing that potentially become a reality one day in the future.

After two and a half hours, the vlive ultimately came to a close and JK said his goodbyes.

Hours later Hobi appeared on Weverse wondering what pictures of JK he could/should post for his traditional picture “spam” and everyone was immediately super excited. Hobi’s gallery holds some wonderful treasures so we all looked forward to what he would end up posting, though it would take a few hours until it would happen.

The funny thing is that he posted the first twt twice since the picture with Namjoon in it had Hobi’s iPhone in it which, as good Samsung representative, was a no, no, so he deleted the twt and posted it again with some stickers covering the phone. So cute. And his picture choices are wonderful. I particularly love that picture of JK in the white room dressed in black from back in 2019 when they performed Boy with Luv. And also their picture from a dinner the two of them went on together back in 2018.

In the meantime before Hobi posted his pictures, as requested in the picture that BH had posted for JKs birthday on the staff BTS account at midnight, one of the members posted his meal though it’s unclear which one of them it might’ve been. Looks super yummy though, wow.

And eventually the final member to come and wish JK a happy birthday was Jimin (and yes, I know Jimin’s twt came before Hobi’s but considering Hobi already wished him a happy birthday at midnight, that makes Jimin the last one):

Trans (cr. haruharu_w_bts):

our maknae happy birthday i wish <you a happy birthday> a lot and a lot #KkookieHappyBirthday #JIMIN #HAPPYJKDAY

Taehyung didn’t post anything but considering his track record of doing something for the members off social media for their birthday, like giving Namjoon a forehead kiss, sending birthday wish videos to Seokjin (including roping others into doing it as well), or wishing Jimin a happy birthday as part of the MOTS ON:E exhibition, I wasn’t all that surprised by this.

And with that JK day 2021 came to a close. It started with a surprise (as in both the song based on ARMY comments and also the concert afterward) and ended with one as well, as in the In The SOOP Season Two announcement.

I hope JK had a wonderful day, celebrated happily with his members, friends and family however much that’s possible in these times, as well as with their busy schedule, and that this new year will be a happy one for him full of success, personal but also career wise. I’m curious and excited to see what will happen.

#Jungkook #jungkook birthday #Jungkook vlive #BTS #Namjoon #Seokjin #Jimin #Hoseok #Yoongi

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the-haven-of-fiction · 4 years ago

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Not A Christmas Movie

Genre/Rating: Fluff and Sweetness of the holiday variety, T

Summary: Tom and Astrid find themselves in a unique situation on Christmas Eve.

Author’s Notes: My first sappy romantic Christmas one shot, y’all! Move over, Hallmark! I tried to cover some of the best cheesy themes, I hope you enjoy it. Thank you to Pillow Talk and Lolo for proofing.

The sound of the wind and snow raced through the trees and whipped against the walls of the cabin, the remote mountainous location devoid of any welcoming lights from neighbors. The two travelers dropped their luggage upon crossing the threshold and rushed to push the heavy door shut behind them.

“When we get through this, neither you nor my sisters are ever allowed to make fun of my emergency preparedness again! We’d be in major trouble without it!” Astrid declared, brushing snow off her jacket and holding up the lantern from the referenced emergency preparedness with her other hand as Tom attempted to lock the door.

“I think I can safely and assuredly,” he paused to run his tongue over his perpetually chapped lips in concentration, “give you my word as an Englishman that I shall never,” a grunt of effort, “allow either myself or your sisters to utter a syllable of criticism on that score.”

She couldn’t help but giggle at his struggle with the lock.

“Remember when you had the brilliant idea to build a set for one of our backyard holiday productions? Was that when you played Scrooge? Your word as an Englishman may be good as gold, but your complete lack of skill with anything slightly mechanical is something I wouldn’t swear by.”

Even in the dim light of the lantern, the slight twitch of a smile was visible on his face, the vision of the pathetic attempt so vivid in his memory.

“No one is going to believe this,” she sighed, shivering and looking around for a light switch.

“Truth is stranger than fiction,” Tom quipped. “The best intentions of a Christmas surprise, a series of unfortunate events, a comedy of errors…”

“I blame my soon to be ex-mechanic, the weatherman, Anya and Arlyss and their crazy idea about trying to organize our families into coming out here to the wilderness to have some kind of storybook Christmas,” she huffed, fumbling along the wall, but finding the switch and flipping it to On in relief.

They both groaned when nothing happened. No electricity, no heat.

“They must have disconnected the electricity during renovations, fantastic.” He followed close behind her as they made their way around the cabin. Although the snowstorm was in full force and there weren’t any outside lights on the driveway, they could see evidence of construction as they had pulled up a few minutes earlier.

“Well, at least there’s a fireplace and I think there is actually a pile of wood next to it,” Astrid pointed as she spoke. “How about that. Must have been stocked by the same person who left the door unlocked. Remind me never to hire this company, whoever they are.”

“I could go outside and check for the…uhm…the…” Tom stuttered and gestured, making what she assumed was meant to be a square shape of some kind.

“The breaker box?” she asked dryly.

“Exactly, yes,” he answered in a tone of false bravado, clearing his throat. “I was merely waiting to see if you knew the name.”

“Santa doesn’t bring presents to little boys who lie, ya know.” She set the lantern on the mantle next to a small glass dish of matches. “Especially little boys who grew up in a centuries-old estate and have servants who take care of locking the doors and fixing the electrical problems.”

“They are not servants, they are staff, Miss Sassy, and I doubt Father Christmas knows we are here, no one does,” he replied. “Add the one forgotten mobile and the other with no service to the list of things that won’t be believed.”

“Well, anyways, Professor,” she went on in an exaggerated manner, “I may have a First Aid kit in my emergency supplies, but I am not equipped to perform any surgery on wounds you would most certainly incur from trying to play Electrician.”

He knew she was correct and they both smiled, cheeks rosy with cold.

“I suppose it was fortuitous that I ended up teaching Classics rather than embarking upon a career in carpentry.”

Astrid got a fire going and they were able to scope out their surroundings more thoroughly. A last-minute change of plans had allowed the visiting Tom and originally scheduled-to-work Astrid to join their families in the mountains for Christmas, but a quick succession of unforeseen events had brought them here, stranded close to midnight in a semi-livable cabin during a snowstorm on Christmas Eve.

The owners must have been undergoing some kind of renovations. The cabin obviously had been inhabited previously, but half the interior wasn’t complete, including the kitchen.

“The toilet flushes!” she shouted from the bathroom. “And there’s running water in the sink!”

“Unfortunately there is no sofa or chairs of any sort and only one bedroom,” he reported when she came back into the main room, “No fireplace, but it does have a bed with linens.”

“Well, my kit has extra batteries so we should be okay with the lantern in there,” she assured him, completely missing his point about the issue of a single bed.

He noticed that her shivering wasn’t decreasing as much as it should, looking her up and down in concern. She was wearing an ankle-length corduroy skirt in a shade that matched her eyes, with a long-sleeved but thin sweater.

“I think we should go through our luggage and put on a couple of more layers. That centuries-old estate was a bit drafty, so I am accustomed to an indoor chill,” he informed her with a tinge of that irritating blend of both humility and privilege.

She rolled her eyes, but went over to her suitcase and started sifting through her clothes.

“You and the twins have always been bossy. It’s a wonder how I have managed to get through life as an adult without the three of you hovering over me like you did when I was a kid.”

He pulled on another shirt and grinned at her.

“I still remember the day you were born. I was visiting Dad and Roberta that year for Christmas,” referring to the alternating schedule their families had of who went to which country for the holidays. “And your sisters and I were old enough to be excited rather than jealous of a new child coming.”

Astrid turned away from him, hoping he wouldn’t see her reaction. Why did it please her so much to hear him speak of her birth with such affection? It must be this ridiculous situation. And the holiday. And her birthday. And this sparkling blue-eyed man whose place in her life she had never been quite able to define. Not a blood relation, but as close as a family member, certainly more than a friend. But more than a friend, in that sense? College and adulthood had made the unanswered question less important, as the shared summers and holidays of their childhood had grown fewer and fewer. She didn’t let herself ponder why he hadn’t married and had a dozen children to help him keep up that manor. Any woman would be elated at the prospect of sharing her life with him; she knew he had a string of casual relationships, just as she had, but their age difference had made her sure years ago that he would be a distant memory by this time.

“Born on Christmas Day to parents named Joseph and Mary, merely the beginning of my life’s trajectory of ‘You won’t believe this!’ events, continuing to this bizarre night that has practically every plot point needed for a cheesy holiday movie except that we aren’t secretly pining for each other.” She zipped up the windbreaker over the thicker sweater before reaching for her parka, not seeing the brief flicker in his eyes.

“Did you know that Arliss wanted to call you Snowflake and Anya’s choice was Mistletoe?” Tom picked up her scarf and hat that he had placed on the hearth so they would be toasty and walked back to her.

“I hear that story every year, along with all the suggestions from everyone to aunts and uncles to the postman. Thank God my parents went with something on theme, but not silly.” She pulled on her boots after a second pair of socks and looked up at him.

His expression changed and he drew in a short breath.

“Do you like your name?”

The inquiry was brimming with something that sounded like hope to her.

“Oh, yes, I’ve always loved it. In fact, I love it as much as I’ve disliked having a birthday on Christmas because it is beautiful and unique and it made me feel beautiful and unique.”

A wave of pure delight lit up his face and something clicked in her mind. Her parents’ version of where her name came from was always that someone had mentioned it to them and they couldn’t remember who it had been.

“It was you, wasn’t it,” Astrid said. And it wasn’t a question. “It was your suggestion.”

He worried at his lower lip, a tic she’d come to know years ago that was a sure indication of him being both pleased and embarrassed.

“Yes,” the soft affirmation punctuated by the crackles and pops from the fire. “And your description is precisely how I thought of it then, thanks to having just started Latin in school, and,” a heartbeat of silence, “it is how I think of you now.”

He was standing directly in front of her and paused to survey her face for a few seconds before tapping lightly under her chin.

Without even thinking about it, it seemed, she looked up at the ceiling so he could wrap the heated scarf around her neck. The warmth felt wonderful, although the feeling caused by this stunning revelation about her name and the look on his face was already warming her up in a way she tried to herself wasn’t happening.

He tucked her hair behind her ears and pulled the hat down while she argued with herself that he was simply being affectionate in the manner of a friend.

“Well,” she said, a little too loudly, stepping back from him, “That down comforter is calling to me, I guess we should be getting to bed.”

Good heavens, the bed, she thought. As in one bed.

As in here, as in they were stuck with a snowstorm swirling around them.

In a cabin that was being renovated. With no power or heat.

On Christmas Eve.

This couldn’t be real, it was not a Christmas movie.

“I suppose we should,” still in that soft voice.

A distraction. She needed a distraction.

“Oh! I just remembered! I have my favorite Christmas movie downloaded on my phone, we can watch it before we go to sleep.”

Less than two hours later, David Niven was giving his sermon and Loretta Young was gazing up at him while Cary Grant walked away in the snow. Tom was propped up a bit against the headboard and had insisted on holding the phone so she could stay under the blankets. Somehow she had ended up almost pasted to his side as the story progressed and his arm was around her. About halfway through, they’d had a little tussle about whether or not he should leave the warm cocoon of the bed and get them another candy cane from her Snack Pack. He argued that they had already brushed their teeth, but a sincere plea from her with an affectionate “Be naughty with me, Professor!” addition was something he simply couldn’t resist.

She sighed and closed her eyes, contented and drowsy and finally no longer cold, too tired and confused to attempt to figure out what was happening, how years of ignoring what was just below the surface had nearly bubbled over. It was impossible. He wasn’t interested. He was just being Tom. Typical Tom. Caring, attentive, making you feel like you were the only person in the room. She wouldn’t think about this anymore right now. Maybe tomorrow. Or not.

Tom closed the app on her phone and noticed the time.

“Hey there, it’s 12:01.”

“Mmhhmm,” she murmured, feeling herself about to drift off. He was so familiar, so comforting, so exactly like Christmas itself should be. She wanted to enjoy this moment before she went back to being the little kid and he the older…the older what?

“Happy Birthday,” he said and dipped his head to kiss her forehead, his breath sweet from the earlier candy cane.

She turned upwards toward him without opening her eyes to give him a peck on the cheek, almost without knowing what she was doing in her sleepy state, but she miscalculated and missed his cheek, her mouth landing on his.

He didn’t jerk back in shock. Or horror.

It’s now or never, she thought, suddenly wide awake and ready to throw caution out the window that was probably frozen shut by now.

Ten seconds later, ten minutes later, she wasn’t sure which, he pulled back breathlessly and she opened her eyes.

“What are you doing?” he asked in bewilderment, in surprise, but not in accusation.

“I’m kissing you, do you mind?” she responded, quickly pulling off her mittens and his beanie so she could sink her fingers into his curls.

“I, uhm…”

“Have no fear for your virtue, Thomas,” she teased in a low voice, tugging on a fistful of those ginger locks and causing a sharp gasp from him that thrilled her and gave her courage. “We are wrapped up like a couple of stuffed sausages in this icebox and there is a foot of clothing between us.”

His gaze narrowed and focused on her lips.

Another kiss, sweet and shy, but sure.

“I thought we weren’t secretly pining for each other,” he quoted her words back to her.

“I lied,” Astrid admitted while placing a string of kisses down his nose and nipping the tip.

The gasp changed to a growl, his grip on her upper arms tightening.

“Santa doesn’t bring presents to little girls who lie,” using her words against her, again.

She kissed him, again. Longer, lingering.

They were side by side now, the blankets becoming tangled.

“Did you lie?” she whispered, not knowing what to do next if he denied it, but also feeling like she couldn’t let another minute pass without settling the matter.

He propped himself up on an elbow and raised an eyebrow at her.

“I don’t recall either confirming or denying your assertion at the time,” wanting to tease her in return.

“But,” he rushed to continue upon seeing her immediately crestfallen, “I will make it absolutely clear now,” each word followed by a brush of his lips across her jaw and down her neck, “that you,” lifting his head to smile at her, “are the one I desire.”

Tears of happiness welled up and slipped down her cheeks.

“Happy Christmas, my starshine,” he whispered against her lips.

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fan fiction #tom hiddleston fanfiction #christmas story #christmas fanfiction #the haven of fiction

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sunseteyes · 4 years ago

Text

by your side

ㅤㅤ ↪︎ STARRING: hajime iwaizumi; gn!reader

ㅤㅤ ↪︎ THEMES: mutual pining? kinda sad

ㅤㅤ ↪︎ WORD COUNT: 4.6k words

ㅤㅤ ↪︎ SYNOPSIS: this is the story of you and hajime, and how your friendship crumbled when he found out something that was meant to be a secret moments after it was said.

ㅤㅤ ↪︎ INTERMISSION: this is a part of @samusangel ‘s songfics! the song for this fic is ex by kiana ledé. do listen to that song because it’s bop! also, i have finally interpreted my real life story of my 7-year unrequited crush:) yes, most of this fic is based on what happened to me, not all though. i’m kinda hoping to do the ending too lmao. please don’t get too attached to hajime:) enjoy! oh btw i had to add arms on iwa’s pic so if you noticed it, i’ll give yo 10m points (also for the reference for that line haha)

when you first met hajime iwaizumi, it felt as if you had someone who will always have your back, someone you’d always trust, someone who’d continually care about you, through and through.

that’s how being friends are, right?

yet why is it that his name alone could hurt you better than anyone’s? why can you still remember the stolen glances and lingering touches that were barely there?

why is it that even after eight years, you’re still regretting why you said hello that day?

why?

from oikawa: hey! from oikawa: i heard that you’re in the photography club from oikawa: please please speak to my friend iwa-chan he can be kinda shy to oikawa: uhm who is this? do i know you? from oikawa: oh my y/n from oikawa: did you really not have the one and only oikawa tooru’s number?! me?? to oikawa: ...oikawa how did you get my number? to oikawa: and who’s iwa-chan??

“hey iwaizumi-san! come sit here!” you exclaimed, a huge grin on your face as both you patted the seat beside you, eyes looked over at the boy that had just entered the room, a sense of relief passing by his expression the moment he found your gaze.

“we’re in the same class, right? and i think makki mentioned you before. what’s your name again?” he says the moment he sat on the same chair you urged him to sit on.

“(y/n),” you held out your hand. “-it’s nice to meet you.”

hajime takes it willingly, a friendly look on his face when he does so all the while responding with, “it’s nice to meet you too. and since i can call you with your first name, then you can call me hajime, if you’d like.”

“well, hajime it is then.”

the smiles that you shared were harmless, not even an ounce of hesitating thought crossed your mind when you had your very first conversation with him, as well as the next ones.

“hey hajime, what’s your number?”

“hm? have i not given it to you yet? here, let me type it for you.”

from iwaizumi: hey :) to iwaizumi: yeah yeah i received it hajime from iwaizumi: oh come on from iwaizumi: is saying a hello that hard?? to iwaizumi: hello to iwaizumi: you happy? from iwaizumi: yeah :)

“(y/n), want to join us for lunch? we have a free seat right here.”

“hajime! i saw a good movie! let’s watch it later? snacks are on me as long as it’s your turn next time.”

smiles, giggles, laughs, whispers or notes whenever the class is ongoing, always beside each other during club meetings, you and hajime even share each other’s secrets and random text conversations during midnights. in just a short time, you were able to trust him, and he did the same for you. for you, that is indeed an unusual feat--you never trusted people that easily to be honest.

“have you heard of the name wakatoshi ushijima? i once liked him, y’know.” you say in a low volume, making sure none else hears not just because your words were meant to be a secret that was never to be talked out loud, but it’s since you and hajime are currently in a club meeting, and you would hate your name to be added in the noisy list.

“you meant that big guy in section five? are you serious?” hajme scoffs, as if you just said a very insulting thing to him. “you could do better, you know that.”

you scoff, chuckling. “are you blind? he’s as handsome as you could be.”

“is that your way of saying i am handsome?” he smirks, “i knew i’m your type all along.”

you playfully smacked him on the leg, making him recoil a bit from your form.

“you wish,” you muttered, brushing off his claims, not really expecting much by that time.

still, fate decides to surprise you with a gift you can never take back.

“hey, what do you think of iwaizumi? you two are quite close, aren’t you?”

“well,” you say, humming as you try to think of a reply whilst writing down the remaining notes that you should write before the teacher decides to erase the contents of the blackboard. the subject itself made it difficult because it was math--and you always fail on math thus this matter is more important than the topic that your friend was chatting about.

so you gave a mindless answer. “he’s a dork, but he can be cute sometimes.” you say, a memory of when you had to endure an entire hour of hajime talking about dinosaurs flashing in your mind a ghost of a smile crossing your lips as you continued writing on your math notebook.

then a tragedy came in almost an instant, not even a single warning to try and prevent that from happening.

and it changed your whole life.

it was childish, you could say, and it was the start of a neverending downfall for not only you, but for your friendship with hajime.

“he’s cute?! hey, hajime, (y/n) thinks you’re cute!”

when the roars of your classmates reached your ears, you were already sitting upright, eyes wide open, forehead knitted, and mouth slightly ajar.

what?

the moment your gaze met his, you knew that he believed it; the childish statement that was meant to be platonically true.

you were misunderstood.

bye everyone, including hajime.

and by the next day, when the club where you and he first met came, he didn’t want to sit next to you. what’s more, is that he purposely asked his other seatmate to change seats with him.

he ignored you, the whole time.

to iwaizumi: hey to iwaizumi: you don't believe that right from iwaizumi: what? to iwaizumi: what happened earlier to iwaizumi: it’s not true yknow that from iwaizumi: uh from iwaizumi: yeah sure

“you like him, don’t you?’

you glared at hanamaki, one that could even send daggers his way if it could. “no, i don’t”

“then why are you so worried? i mean, he still responds to your chats, right?” he mutters, munching on his sandwich all the while watching a volleyball match of your seniors, eyes trained at the ball.

you frowned, biting your lower lip in contemplation as you recalled when you talked to hajime last night about school work, which was a thing for the two of you before too.

“yeah,” you say, glancing at the other side of the gym, where hajime sat next to toru, his childhood best friend who was from another class. by then, a rush of sadness and loneliness flushes away your appetite, the sandwich on your hand almost forgotten. “-but he’s completely ignoring me in real life.”

it didn’t bother you much by that time.

“you’re staring, y/n.”

“yeah, like they do always.”

you could only roll your eyes at hanamaki and matsukawa, who were your best friends at that time due to the fact that you three had been at the same class during elementary and had continued being close since then. when you became friends with hajime, you merely did so just to have someone to talk within that one club that you shared with him and not with the rest of your classmates. aside from that, you felt comfortable talking to the guy. he really did look friendly and welcoming that it was quite easy to hit him up with a conversation.

but it didn’t mean that you like hajime.

right?

you scoff, muttering for the two to shut up before proceeding to enter your classroom, the two leaving you alone since they were not a part of your class. now, you could only bow your head down as you make your way to your seat, trying not to make much of a peep in hopes that no one will have to talk to you and most likely bring up the topic of you “crushing” on hajime when it’s not true at all.

but guess what? it’s not going to happen when the fact that your seatmate is toru oikawa himself.

“hey (y/n)! have you had a great lunch?”

the smile that creeped to your face was forced, honestly speaking. although if oikawa had noticed it, he didn’t ask for it further. “yes i did, how about you?”

“well, it was nice, but don’t you think it will be nicer if you join me and iwa-chan instead?”

the thing with oikawa is that he’s not just chatty with you, but he also tends to tease you with hajime, before that unfortunate day even came. the story behind that is that oikawa merely saw you talking with hajime one time after the club that you two shared and then he confided to you the next day, saying “you and iwa-chan look cute together, (y/n), i swear one day one of you will fall in love with the other, i’m sure of it.”

okay, you confirm to yourself that you didn’t like hajime that way is not because you wanted to prove oikawa wrong, but it does seem like toru oikawa was challenging you ever since he said those words to you.

and of course, you’ll win it, no matter if it was a real challenge or not.

“how about you, do you have any ideas?”

eyes followed as soon as the conversation turned to you, including hajime’s--to which you have met as soon as your mind returned to the reality that you temporarily exchanged for the train of thoughts that continued to operate inside of your mind.

“huh?”

“if you’ve got any ideas for the project,” says oikawa, being the automatic leader of the group due to his ability to instantly get along with everyone and having the real capability of leading them. apparently, the teacher decided to group you with the two, along with two other classmates that you never really bothered to get along well with. “if none, we can just go with what we gathered so far.”

you broke your contact with hajime after he did, turning your gaze to oikawa with a shake of your head. “no, i don’t have any.”

the worst part of the situation between you and hajime was that everything seems like a lie. the friendship--it seemed like a lie that you never bothered to correct or initiate to stop. why?

yeah, you kept wondering why.

maybe it’s because you always treasure your friends, or that you wanted to prove that what they are claiming is a fake, a lie--that you didn’t have a crush on hajime, and you will never ever will.

but what if you really did?

what if all these denials are making you believe that it is true as well? you had been thinking about that for quite some time now and the thought of it alone scares you. sure, you’ve had crushes or you’ve had people whom you liked or had feelings before, but not one that was your friend. it makes you wonder if these so-called “feelings” could have been due to wanting to always be with him and talk to him, but not in a romantic way. in fact, those are what you were feeling towards hajime.

there’s really nothing you should overthink about.

you like hajime as a friend, but not as someone you could see being with doing all the romantic stuff that other people do with their significant others.

for all you know, that thought was sooner diminished.

“did you cut your hair?”

“hm? yeah i did-” looking up, a sight that you never bothered to ever think about before was suddenly in front of you--hajime, with all the beauty of his wide shoulders and the muscles of his arm peaking through under his sleeve, extending down to his exposed skin to hi beautiful, veiny hand.

the only reason you were able to be brought back to school and to where you are exactly was when you felt a fleeting touch by your forehead, brushing away a couple of strands of hair that was on your forehead, the action waking you up in almost an instant to find hajime iwaizumi stepping back to give you back your personal space, an embarrassed look on his face that he sooner had to look away sideways to “hide” it from you.

and then he walked away. just like that.

you didn’t know how many seconds or even minutes you were sat frozen on that bench, the sight of the people practicing dancing in front of you to prepare for the upcoming intramurals that has a cheerleading competition in its event. your mind was floating; maybe up in the sky, plunging through the clouds, thinking about only one thing--or person.

why he did that, you had no idea. you could only think about all the questions that suddenly popped in your head, the scene continuing on playing like a broken television, replaying and replaying and replaying.

from iwaizumi: hey that hairstyle looks good on you from iwaizumi: you should keep it to iwaizumi: i ain’t keeping a hairstyle just coz you like it :p to iwaizumi: but… does it really suit me? from iwaizumi: yes :)

“do you like iwa-chan, y/n?”

you were sure you didn’t before but now is a different matter. not after that very small moment that you’ve had in real life after hajime ignored you continually on the outside.

leaving oikawa’s question unanswered was not a good idea, and he kept pestering you, asking you the very same thing, even as you were with others, merely whispering the words by your ear whenever he has a chance. you knew it was merely oikawa’s way of trying to set his two friends up--that’s if you treat him as a friend anyway.

you ignored oikawa, only until he whispered a different statement one day.

“i heard one of our classmates likes him.”

now that had caught your attention, unconsciously making you lock eyes with oikawa, who visibly looked pleased with the reaction that he was able to pull out from you.

“who?”

“the same one who asked you if you like iwa-chan.”

maybe it was out of curiosity or maybe something else, but either way, that specific reason made you glance towards where oikawa was pointing at, the very same person he was referring to in his words was sitting next to hajime, such an unfamiliar sight for basically anyone since hajime was indeed seated far away from them before, and for you to see them beside each other, it was, what was that word?--unsettling.

“they obviously like him, don’t you think?” oikawa mutters next to you, his lips pursed together, his eyes narrowed at the same way you were looking as well, the very subjects of your gazes minding their own business, as if they were the only ones left in the world.

you looked away before you could think about them further, however the scene is still in your mind, evading it and also blocking the previous memory that was stuck in your mind for days--when hajime finally made a “conversation,” with you. well, he didn’t really talk much that time but it was still better than nothing.

and now, just when he was not ignoring you, this person shows up and flirts with him-

wait, stop thinking about it y/n!

you blamed it on oikawa, like you had always done, ignoring the fact that those blames should be pointed to you instead--you who had an indecisive mind and the one that thought of all of this as a challenge of a game--a game where you should beat all the teasings by ignoring all of them. rather than doing that, you overthought all of them--it was all your fault.

it was your fault that you’re now having feelings for hajime.

unbeknownst to you, they slowly built up inside of your heart, his grasps creeping and creeping the more you longed for him in real life and not just behind the gadget that you two had; behind the chats that were merely there, inside an application where you can never know what his real reactions were due to the fact that you couldn’t see him as you two converse.

it was you.

it was you whose heart started fluttering as time went by.

“come on, hug them! it’s a punishment.” everyone cheers, and yet beyond the noise is the panic that rushes through your entire system, your eyes glazed over at hajime, who was looking embarrassed the more seconds passed by.

you stood there, fidgeting and unable to stop yourself from moving your feet, walking towards mattsun to makki to oikawa, begging them to stop this with merely your eyes, your lips refusing itself to open and say something that you’ll regret. after fully accepting the fact that you were slowly having these pesky feelings towards hajime, you still kept denying it to others. you were still afraid of what hajime would think. yes, sure, he was still talking to you through chats and text messages, even calling you a few times, and you knew that he wouldn’t be that pleased to have others teasing the two of you like this. he gets particularly annoyed whenever he’s “embarrassed” for stupid stuff like this. he deems it “pointless” in his own words.

it hurts, and that’s why you were also willing to indulge with oikawa and the others during moments like these, the hidden desires of your heart coming true to life even for just this single moment.

when you finally felt hajime’s arms around you, you felt as if you were protected, nurtured, and secured--and it felt very different. whenever you hug someone, you’ll feel comfortable, yes, but never this kind. in hajime’s arms, you felt a shield that physically safeguarded you from your surroundings, even from the noises that were supposed to erupt by your ears. instead, you heard of nothing but your heartbeat, pounding like a madman inside of your chest, continually for only one person.

by then have you realized how much you have craved for him.

you have hugged hajime a couple of times before, but it was the very first time that you have felt that kind of sensation pass through every cell in your body, releasing a rush of contentment only a millisecond after you’ve felt it. the embrace didn’t last for long, but for you, it was enough. for now.

that night, he didn’t reply to your text messages.

to iwaizumi: hey to iwaizumi: are you asleep already? to iwaizumi: it’s still early though... to iwaizumi: just uhm message me when you read this okay?

when you felt like everything was going back into order before the hug, fate does something again.

actually, it was you who did it and fate merely attracted you to doing it.

people are afraid of confessions, most of the time. and apparently, you’re one of those people. no matter if it’s a confession for a petty thing such as telling your friend that they smell a bit or a stranger when you see them having some dirt on their face or stain on their clothes. yet, despite being nervous about it, you still do it.

for some reason, it applies to your feelings about a confession towards hajime as well.

the moment you had fully accepted to yourself that you liked him more than a friend would, you knew it was the end for your friendship with him- that you can never bring back whatever that was lost or what was supposed to had been before any of these shenanigans ever happened.

weeks and months went by, until it had been a year and more since you first claimed that you liked him. by now, you weren’t at the same class as him anymore and guess what? you two were not talking or texting anymore either.

it seemed as if the friendship just… faded. and even if you had feelings for him, you let it slip from your hands, and yet it was the very thing that you were convinced that you wanted to have all this time--to not let this friendship die. since there was no possible way hajime would ever like you, at least you’ll have the friendship, you’ll still have him with you, by your side, even not as someone you secretly desired him to be.

“how is he?” you let out, barely able to look at oikawa as you gazed at your feet and the ground, something that is not even that interesting--to which the other knew and noticed. yet instead of speaking of it, oikawa answered your question.

“you meant iwa-chan, or me? if me, i’m alright, just a little hungry, do you want to go eat?”

still, oikawa is oikawa and he did everything to make you look up to him, even if it were of a soft glare, like you’d always do--and you did, earning yourself a satisfied smirk from oikawa, slightly snickering at your reaction.

“just kidding. iwa-chan is doing fine, just his usual self; iwa-chan being iwa-chan. no one is with him still, if you want to know--which i know you were.” he says, even so far as learning by your side, as if attempting to mutter the last statement by your ear.

even if your and hajime’s friendship were slowly fading away, you and oikawa still kept in touch. you had no idea why but, he eventually became your friend while in the process of this hajime ordeal, plus he was also your seatmate the whole year when you were at the same class.

oh, and he’s also the only one connected to hajime, so of course, being friends with him was also an advantage for you. at least, there was a mutual friend whom you could talk and confide to about his own friend, hajime.

“what happened to your confession anyway? i was quite positive you had a chance with iwa-chan this whole time.” you couldn’t see what he was looking at as he was saying those words but you were sure you heard him huff, which meant that he was making this funny expression in his face, one that made you chuckle a bit at the mental scene.

yet that chuckle turned into a smile--a smile that oikawa could admit that he had never seen in your face before.

“i confessed i like him, but, well, it’s pretty obvious that he didn’t like me. if he does, we’d probably be dating right now.”

usually, oikawa would be amused at your sarcastic remarks, but this one, he did not lie it one bit, just like the sad expression that you were making. he felt as if he was in your place, and his heart broke for you, the friend whom his bestfriend had rejected.

unbeknownst to you, oikawa tried to help you, even so far by “matchmaking” or “promoting” you to hajime. however, it seems the things only worsen the more oikawa does it.

“why? don’t you like them?”

“it’s not that.” the very same knitted brows appear on hajime’s expression and oikawa immediately recognized it since it was the same face that he’ll always give when they talk about a conflict--one that hajime doesn’t like talking about.

oikawa thinks it's childish-- the way hajime ignores all of this and the way you still stay hopelessly devoted to this man. it’s like you’re both prolonging the discomfort and pain that you two were feeling. he wanted you two to just talk it all out so that he wouldn’t be caught in between the two of you, and also because he didn’t like having you and hajime to be in this situation. he loathed having to see you both suffer from your own decisions and actions.

hajime is a broken man--that much you knew. oikawa once mentioned to you that hajime had his heart broken by someone he liked for several years, and now, he was rather reluctant in liking someone. when you came in the picture, he was already a broken man. that’s why you were fine with having to love him without him loving you back.

you didn’t mention that it was not painful otherwise.

“hajime,”

the recognition that plays by his face amuses you, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him too; his face is not really much different than before, but it was obvious that he had matured a lot and puberty really gifted him with such a handsome, chiselled face. not only that, but his build changed too, even if he did have strong, muscley arms before. now, he looks like a very mature young man.

which he is anyway, why are you even paying attention to those things?

“long time no see” you say, halting in front of you and for him to fully turn to face you.

“y/n?” hearing your name being called by him gives you a feeling you once had before. however, you merely brushed that thought away, just in time for him to finally break off of his surprise.

“yeah, it had been.” he says, then pulling out the chair beside him, patting it. “here, let me treat you to a drink.”

you hesitated, and it seems as if hajime noticed it. “it’s alright if you’re in a hurry, we can just catch up some other day.”

“yeah, i think we should.” you nervously chuckled, and just when you were about to panic at how awkward the sudden encounter was, you were reminded by something. “we can have coffee some other day, but i have something for you.”

hajime watches as you rummage your bag, your attention focused on whatever you were finding as he takes this opportunity to actually look at you.

you look beautiful and mature, not so different from before, but you surely bloomed and become a really attractive person. if hajime were to be asked, he would have asked you on a date in almost an instant. yet, it will be proving to be difficult due to the history that you and him had.

the thought alone makes him want to regret his decisions from before, but he was not willing to say or express it out loud.

if you would give him a chance though, he’s pretty sure he would take it. he’s very different from who he was before, much mature and capable of being in a relationship.

he’s ready.

“here,” you suddenly were extending your hand to him, holding out a piece of envelope that looked very much like a letter. and before he could question it, you spoke.

“i’m inviting you to our wedding. toshi and i are trying to find people from our previous schools so…. here.”

the smile that was on your face was bright, and hajime was having a hard time processing everything that was happening in his mind and before he knew it, you were saying goodbye, leaving the invitation on his hand before leaving the cafe, saying that you had some errands to attend to.

when he was left alone, it took hajime a full minute to open the invitation, seeing the names written on it and reading everything else. he was surprised, but what shocked him the most is that he actually felt different.

he wasn’t heartbroken, no. it was as if someone had poured ice-cold water on him, the same memory of when you and him talked about the very same man you were marrying playing in his mind over and over.

it was amazing how fate brought you two in this situation, but it sure didn’t occur in hajime’s mind. when he first met you, he felt like he’d just met someone who will always be by his side, and he knew you deserve the best, that’s why he thought that he did not deserve you.

now he can only question himself as he looks at the invitation to your marriage with another man, drinking coffee alone and without anyone by his side anymore.

#iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #hajime iwaizumi #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi oneshot

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greenbriar-j · 4 years ago

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Muscle Memory, full wip, unedited 4.7k, scroll at ur own risk; tagging some people who showed previous interest @halleiswriting @chazzawrites @pe-ersona @druidx and also @pens-swords-stuff this is what I’ve been up to lately

Saint Joseph’s Catholic Church bustles with activity. It’s peculiar, for it being a weekday. More peculiar still that the bustling is being done by young men and women who could very well be engaging in… more satisfying summer indulgences.

The Youth Group’s power couple sweeps in an hour late, ever put together even when, by all rights, they ought to be melting right out of their fancy outfits. Cheers rise from the crowd when they appear, each splitting off in their own directions to their own stations.

Y Nhi beelines for the painters, flicking her sleek ponytail to make sure it’s out of the way. The girls hand her a brush while detailing what’s left to be done. Vinny bustles for the sound technicians - who, really, are already done for the day, but are staying for the social factor.

Two things to note about St. Joseph’s power couple:

Y Nhi isn’t sure she believes in God very much anymore.

They are not a couple, but it’s easier to let everyone think so than to correct it.

“Jude,” Mary says (everyone calls her Jude because she and Vinny made a big deal of it years ago), “Are you sure you can’t help out during the week?”

Y Nhi shrugs. She’s not busy or anything, but it feels wrong to shepherd children into a religion she’s falling out of - even if Vacation Bible School had been one of her favorite summer memories for her entire life. That’s where she met Vinny, after all.

Vinny, laughing with the guys at the sound booth. To be more accurate, Vinny himself is only smirking, but that’s as close to a laugh as he gets around here. Stupid smirk. Stupid boy.

“I have work. Unfortunately,” Y Nhi mutters, dragging her brush across a cardboard cutout. “Vinny’s taking the week off, so I’m picking up his slack.”

Mary grins widely at that. “I swear it’s like you’re married.”

For whatever reason, Y Nhi’s heart clenches at that. Picturing herself and Vinny in wedding attire on the altar sickens her, but putting a faceless someone in her place makes her feel worse. But it’s not like she likes him. She’s sworn to herself that she’d become a cat lady in her old age - her army has already begun with a fluffy black kitten. It’s not looking too good for her future; Toothless likes Vinny more than her. She’s already failed as a parent.

Belatedly, Y Nhi realizes she’s supposed to be engaging in a conversation, not thinking about Vinny and their co-parenting of a cat. If it can be called that.

“Don’t hold your breath. The wedding is a long way off,” she says tightly. Like. Never. Never is a long, long way off.

“I wouldn’t be too sure.”

This time, Y Nhi lets the comment slide. She paints while singing under her breath, as she always does. A long time ago, she had no qualms about belting it out, but time has weathered away her volume, reducing it to only this. No one’s noticed the change or found it strange.

The conversation turns to something - anything - else. Degrees, internships, other boys who don’t dress in all black and aren’t named Vincent Truong. Y Nhi listens, but doesn’t contribute.

By the time the call goes out for a lunch break, Y Nhi is finishing three tasks at once. One of the other girls brings her a burger, slathered with ketchup and mayo and tomatoes. Y Nhi thanks her and continues wrapping one of the white pillars in cardboard paper to simulate a palm tree.

Not long after, someone nudges her. Eyes flickering upward, she’s met with the bored eyes of her very best friend. “Bite.”

She doesn’t, not yet.

Vinny wiggles the burger he’s holding in front of her mouth. “Only half a slice of cheese. No tomatoes. Freshest patty of the batch. Eat.”

She still doesn’t take the bait, even though he’s tailored this burger to her weirdly specific tastes.

Vinny sighs. “Jude. No one’s watching you. I promise all they can see is my back.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” It’s true she had a complex about eating in public for a while, for reasons she’s never told anyone including him. “Just not hungry.”

“Not very Gucci of you to lie in the house of God.”

“Not very Gucci of you to breathe.”

“Jude! The fuck, man.” But he’s grinning. Not the half-assed grin he gives everyone else, but an honest, mirthful grin reserved for Toothless and Y Nhi only (usually Toothless. Damn cat).“Just eat this, okay? I’ll eat the other one.” His whole demeanor softens as he picks up the burger she had ignored - the one that is surely cold by now.

She is hungry. After all, the reason they were late is because Vinny had to coax her to every step of getting ready this morning. He even applied her eyeliner with the even strokes of a practiced hand - so practiced that even Y Nhi admits it looks like her own work. If she had a choice, she would waste away in bed for the day, but Vinny has never been much of a fan of that plan.

According to her own plan, Y Nhi had been wasting away since before yesterday’s dinner. Famished might be a better word to describe her present state.

But today is one of those days that she feels guilty cementing the married couple narrative any more than it needs to be. They’re not getting any younger, Vinny and Y Nhi, and just because she’s sworn off marriage doesn’t mean he has. How’s he supposed to get a nice girlfriend if she keeps hanging around?

Objectively, it’s a stupid reason to risk passing out in a church of all places, but something about him just makes her stupid. Always has.

The longer she ignores his peace offering, the twitcher he gets. He finishes his own burger in ten massive bites. When Y Nhi still doesn’t eat hers, he eats that whole thing too. “We’re leaving early. Say an hour? Think about what you want to eat.”

With that, he’s gone. Y Nhi is not hyper aware of his presence as it moves through the open space. She does not miss having him next to her. Not even a little.

Y Nhi writes, appetite??? in her journal when she gets home. It’s the third time something of this nature has appeared on its list which isn’t titled - but if it was it would be something like “Things About Vinny T. that Don’t Make Sense.”

Even after inhaling two burgers, he took her out for pho and Thai tea, and he ate so slow that his noodles expanded in the broth. Still, he finished a medium bowl with relative ease, and Y Nhi was content after she’d finished a small.

How does someone who eats like that look like that? It has to be some sort of stupid freaky metabolism. Genetic polymorphism, she thinks, then adds that she might be incorrectly using the term she’d heard in class about two semesters ago.

She writes freeloading on the list. It’s not technically true, but he spends enough time at her place to make it feel like it. Right this minute, he’s setting up the living room to sleep in, awaiting her delivery of the overnight bag he always leaves stocked in her apartment for emergencies.

That goes on the list too. Definition of ‘emergency.’

According to recent months, an alarming amount of things fit under this category of Vinny’s mind. It might be nearing time to stage an intervention, but who’s Y Nhi to tell him to relax when she’s the one bordering on anxiety attacks all the time? Only god knows how many times he’s clutched her shaking hands until they stopped.

Y Nhi closes the journal. Snaps the band over the cover. Shoves it under her pillow. Vinny wouldn’t dare read it to begin with, but for some reason, she doesn’t even want him to know of its existence.

Quickly divesting herself of the impeccable outfit she’d worn for the day, she slips easily into one of Vinny’s large, large shirts and the shorts she affectionately calls game day shorts. Ever since high school, she’s worn them for events that require equal amounts of comfort and courage - or just for comfort, to be honest.

“Hey, loser,” she greets Vinny, emerging from her room. He’s got her guitar in hand, and is humming some tune that she recognizes but can’t place. “Your stuff is on my bed. Have you seen Toothless?”

He nods, and keeps playing. It’s in experience, being stared at with such intense eyes while trying not to stare at the other party’s stupid pretty hands playing her guitar. Fuck him, honestly, she thinks angrily.

Leaving him there, she pours each of them a glass of water in the kitchen. A shadow looms on top of the fridge, and she jumps. “Toothless, baby. Please stop napping on the fridge.”

Toothless is not napping. He stands up, shakes his tiny body and hops to the counter, then to the floor, twining around Y Nhi’s feet before scuttling off.

Vinny is singing now. It’s a new song, she supposes, and it sounds like a love song.

Slowly, Y Nhi moves around the kitchen, making as little noise as possible while doing absolutely nothing. She just wants to listen to Vinny and his new love song without him watching her reaction.

Once she gets past the lyrics about gentle touches and midnight escapades, she realizes something. Re-entering the living room, she deposits his water on the table. “Is that my melody? Why would you steal it?”

The guitar is placed awkwardly on the floor, the neck of it leaning on the couch. “Oh, is that where it’s from? Thought it was familiar,” he says with mild disinterest. “Well, I wasn’t that attached to it anyway.”

“Are you saying it sucks?” Y Nhi settles on the floor on the other side of the table, pulling her knees into her chest. Glancing through her lashes, Y Nhi watches Vinny’s expressions.

“I’m saying I’m not taking your work, you brat.” Then he hesitates. “I mean. Can I, just for one person?”

“What the fuck.”

Vinny twitches, finally. “I… Wrote the song for someone… So I’d like to sing it for her, just once.”

Something vile rises in her throat, and she wishes Toothless would notice her distress. Hugging the cat might make her feel a little better about the fact that Vinny’s written a song about a girl using her melody - and it’s not about herself and for some odd reason, that bothers her.

“Can- Can I hear it?” Y Nhi asks in a tiny voice. It’s easier than No, you cannot take my song to sing to some other girl who will take you away from me.

“Haven’t you been hearing it?”

“Vincent.” Because that’s easier than You colossal idiot, what shit are you pulling after two years?

“Jude-”

She stands suddenly, fleeing to her room. Shutting the door, locking it, she tries to breathe. Of all people, Vinny should be the last person to push her to this reaction. She doesn’t know what to think.

Vinny knows.

Vinny knows where her hard limits are. Technically, he hasn’t passed them. But he’s pretty damn close.

Y Nhi slips into the shower, leaving it on the hottest setting to boil the emotions out.

For the next two days, Y Nhi doesn’t emerge from her room. Her phone dies, and she lets it. Her body self-destructs in hunger and dehydration from crying, and she lets it. She stays in bed for most of it. Whether Vinny continues to sleep on the other side of the wall for those nights, she doesn’t know. Nor care.

It’s punishment for believing she might be ready to give love another chance.

The third day, a letter slips under her door.

She almost flushes it down the toilet without reading it. Everything is in position to do so, paper fluttering in unsteady hands above the toilet bowl. But she wants to know. What can Vinny possibly say for himself?

Jude. I wrote the song for you. I didn’t mean to steal your tune - honest to god, I didn’t. But when I found out, I thought it was fitting that we’d worked on it together. (“Together”)

Jude, the song is up to your interpretation, but it’s yours. I wrote it from my core, and it’s yours. Charge your fucking phone and check the lyrics I sent you.

Take a shower, and call me when you’re ready. You have a few days’ worth of takeout in the fridge. Please take care of your health; I know you’re not right now. I mean it in the best way.

It cuts off there. Unceremonious and blunt, and so very him. She hates it very much.

Y Nhi charges her phone while she showers. Working quickly because she’s so unsteady on her feet, she does the bare minimum before stumbling into the kitchen for food.

While she nibbles on the stir fried noodles he left, she pens her own note.

Vinny,

I will not read the lyrics. I don’t want to know, and you don’t have to pretend it’s about me.

Your joke took two years to reach completion. Congratulations. I hope I was amusing and that my downfall wall be the stunning conclusion you wanted.

She tapes it on her front door so he’ll see it the next time he comes over. Soon, probably.

Momentarily, she wonders if she’s being rash. Is it so impossible to think that he could find romantic attraction to her?

Then she remembers. Y Nhi is not built to be loved, if her history is anything to go by. Even if she’s wrong, even if Vinny loves her for real, she will resist. Losing him this way is better than the alternative: watching him dissolve to some monstrosity while loving her.

Nothing changes after that. Apart from Vinny’s absence from her apartment, they interact in exactly the same way.

Vinny says something borderline rude.

Y Nhi retorts with something blatantly rude.

They laugh about it and move along.

There are no gentle touches to avoid because Vinny rarely touched her to begin with - despite the way he slings his arm around everyone else, he wasn’t like that with her. No arm around her shoulder, no hugs, not even extended contact with her hair.

Y Nhi pretends not to notice when he goes through a full dinner with an arm draped over the back of his friend Justin’s chair. He leans on it, adding the tiniest space between himself and Y Nhi. He still passes her the condiments and spices she likes before she asks for them. He takes her home at the end of it.

This should be enough. Up until now, it always had been. These tiny acts were his long distance hugs. It had always been enough, but now it isn’t, and Y Nhi doesn’t know what to do.

Isn’t this what you wanted? For him to get a life away from you?

“How’s that girl?” She asks on the way home, just because the silence is killing her and perhaps because she’s a masochist. “The one you wrote the song for?”

Vinny looks at her for a brief moment, something like grief in his eyes. It’s a confusing expression. “She hasn’t really talked to me since.”

Y Nhi tries not to sit straighter at this revelation. “Oh, really? Hm. That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

Something about the word is profoundly heartbroken. She can almost feel the emotions hurtling off him in waves, but he doesn’t lash out at her. All it does is enclose each passenger of the car in a separate bubble. This is the closest they’ve been in a long time, but Y Nhi has never felt so isolated.

Her throat constricts, and her hands start to shake. “Do you… Know why?”

Vinny thinks for a moment, tapping his fingers on the wheel. “I think she doesn’t believe me. But I don’t really think it’s me, I think she thinks that love is meant for everyone except herself. She’s pretty bent on self-destruction now, as far as I can tell - No, don’t say anything yet.”

Every girl Vinny’s talked to in the last week pops up in her mind. Which of them seems most self-destructive? If she can’t keep herself by his side, he should at least have someone who can care for him. She could talk to them, probably, if she knew who it was.

“I… She thinks this is sudden, but I’ve been in love with her since I was fifteen. Or something. Like it kind of just happened over time, and I thought she knew.”

Fifteen means Vinny’s been futilely in love with someone else while she fell for the guy who ended up cheating on her.

They were happy in high school. It was college that broke them. Distance. The communications became less frequent in an inverse relationship to Y Nhi’s alcohol intake. Her grades suffered, and she convinced herself that she was too stupid for higher education. On his birthday, she drove for hours to his dorm to surprise him, only to find him making out with another girl. Sober.

Not that any level of inebriation could excuse him, but perhaps it would’ve hurt a little less.

Vinny isn’t done. “I fucking cut fruit for her every time we hung out. I did her dishes sometimes. I don’t know, I- I thought I did everything right. My mom thought I was doing everything right.”

“You tell your mom about your love life?”

Y Nhi doesn’t. Her parents don’t care enough to know anything about it beyond that she let go of a future doctor and that she’ll never find another because she’s past her prime. That’s what it feels like, anyway.

She’s literally twenty four. She has time.

“Not really. But they’ve met.” Vinny parks the car in front of her apartment, but he makes no move to get out or to let Y Nhi get out. “Jude, listen to me.”

“I’m listening,” she says. Training her eyes on her kitchen window, she thinks about the dishes she hasn’t done yet, the fruit she hasn’t cut yet, and how she hates thinking about it because it reminds her Vinny is fading.

Human adaptability is a remarkable thing. One more week, and this new normalcy will cement itself.

“The girl I love is you. Okay? I’ve walked around the topic for years, and I understand if you’re still not ready for it. But I know you’re getting the wrong idea in that head of yours. It’s you, and it’s always been you, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it if you let me. I’ll also bow out forever if that’s what you need from me. But I need you to talk to me. I-”

Holy shit, is he about to cry? With wild eyes, she glances at him. If she’s made him cry, he’ll return the favor five-fold. No, she backtracks. That’s not Vinny. That’s the behavior of her second ex, the one that reduced her to a stiff puppet of a girl.

“Come back to me,” he says in a small, strangled voice. “I don’t even care if you break me in the process, but please come back to me. You can do whatever you want, as long as you do it by my side.”

For the longest moment, they say nothing. Then Y Nhi opens the car door. “Can you cut my strawberries for me? They taste better when you cut them.”

Vinny washes her dishes and her strawberries and quarters the already small fruit for her. He deposits the snacks in front of her and watches her eat - slowly, since they’ve just come back from dinner, after all.

“So it’s me?”

“Always has been.”

“And you never said anything.”

“I did. You ignored it on purpose.”

“No, I’m just a stupid hoe.”

“You’re not stupid. Or a hoe.”

“You’re always calling me stupid.”

“Not like that, stupid.”

“You’re going to have to undo a lot of damage if we date.”

“I know. I’ve been working on it already, didn’t you notice?”

“Yeah, but it’s gonna get worse if we date.”

“Have you considered therapy?”

“Vinny, I’ll be a pariah.”

“A happy one, maybe.” Hesitantly, he reaches for one of her hands. Halfway, he flips the palm up and waits for her to complete the gesture on her own. “You don’t have to decide right away. It’s just a thought.”

She puts her hand in his a little too eagerly, then pulls back a little too harshly. It feels like touching the flame of a candle.

A defeated look momentarily crosses Vinny’s eyes, but Y Nhi barely has the time to look at it before she steels her nerves and takes hold of his hand again. The coldness of his rings grounds her somehow. “We need a list,” Y Nhi says, “of things. First, you’re going to Google touch starvation.”

Her best friend jerks in a little victorious motion, jamming his knee unceremoniously on the table leg as he does. “Fuck, that hurt.”

“What was that about?”

“I wasn’t sure if you were actually touch starved or if you didn’t like men touching you.”

“And you didn’t ask?” Y Nhi is incredulous.

“How am I supposed to ask? ‘Jude, when I touch you, does it remind you of your sleazy ex boyfriends?’ You’d say no. Like a liar. Or so I thought.” He pauses. “Anyway, this means I can hug you now, right? 24/7.”

“If you ease into it.”

“And you’ll stop wearing those gigantic shirts that literally drown you.”

“...No. What?”

“Okay, never mind, nothing. What else? What other boundaries do we have?”

Of all questions she’s been asked today, this one is probably the most confusing. Her previous relationships are no help; she hasn’t exactly had the best exposure to “healthy relationships.” She’s aware that the bare minimum counts as decadence for her, so the question has her a little frozen.

After watching her face flicker through whatever emotions it’s displaying, Vinny rubs a thumb over her knuckles. “How about this: I have a specific thing I want your help with, and when things come up, we can talk about it.”

Y Nhi nods, though they both know she won’t talk about shit. But perhaps watching Vinny sort out whatever issue he needs sorted will give her inspiration on how to approach this. “Can we-?” She starts and stops abruptly.

Vinny blinks, then feeds her a strawberry slice. “Go ahead.” It’s a tactful move. Putting food in her mouth means she has to chew, meaning she has a few more seconds to gather herself and her thoughts, or at the very least, the desire to continue speaking.

“Can we not label this?” She finishes. “Whatever is between us.”

To her surprise, Vinny nods and acts like she hasn’t asked the bitchiest question of the night. “Sure.” You can do whatever you want, he’d said, as long as you do it by my side.

“And… Get rid of Jude.”

“What?”

“Jude. You remember why I picked that name?”

“Because of some fictional fairy queen that had the same name? You thought she was a conniving boss ass bitch and-”

“Shut up. Saint Jude. Patron saint of?”

Technically speaking, he hasn’t been wrong about the fairy queen bit. Unlike the suckers who fell for Cardan Greenbriar, Y Nhi’s wimpy ass was all in for Jude Duarte, mortal queen of the fae. And it was easier to admit that than to admit the truth that was dawning on Vinny’s face in 3… 2...

“Hopeless causes,” Vinny answers easily. Then his expression sobers. “Oh.”

Y Nhi nods. “But the me with you isn’t a hopeless cause. I don’t want her to be, anyway.”

There’s a lot that goes unsaid, but she’s certain Vinny hears it. Logically, she can’t keep relying on whatever instinct says, He’ll understand because he’s Vinny, but up to this point, it should work out okay.

Gently, he says, “Y Nhi,” reacquainting himself with the syllables of her given name. “Y Nhi.”

“Yes, Vinny?” She says just as gently.

He lowers his voice to a husky whisper, “You’ve never been a hopeless cause. You were a cause for hope.”

Vinny’s request is this: that Y Nhi teach him to be soft again.

The request makes her question if she and Vinny exist in the same dimension because who the hell convinced him he wasn’t soft? Hardened, prickly souls don’t master winged eyeliner for the sake of their loved ones. They don’t volunteer extra hours at Vacation Bible School while working graveyard shifts at the hospital. Don’t do the dishes because as much as they hate them, their roommate hates them more.

Vinny is soft, and Y Nhi is out for blood. “I need names, Vincent. And addresses if you have them.”

“My ex,” he says.

An awkward sound emerges from Y Nhi’s throat.

He raises an eyebrow at her. “What? I dated around. Didn’t think I should be hung up on you, but nothing ever went as planned. Anyway, my one ex did a really good job making me become someone I wasn’t. I didn’t like the person she made me, but it was kind of too late to turn around.”

Again, Y Nhi is confused. The narrative is promising, though, so she lets him continue in hopes that it’ll clear something up.

“If you don’t know me, how would you describe me?”

“Vinny.” She doesn’t have an answer, she just doesn’t want to say it. It’s not all good, and they just came back from an awkward fight. Was it a fight?

They’ve slipped back into their normal existence so easily. Nothing has changed, but at the same time, everything has.

“Just- The rings and the black and the tattoos. You’d think I drove a motorcycle or something, right?”

“You drive a Lexus. It’s the same in terms of your fuck boy vibes.”

“Y Nhi!”

“BMW would’ve sealed the deal. How many Hennessys do you drink a night, again?”

A pout settles on his face. She likes this version of him. “I see you get my point. I look like a baddie.”

“Yeah. Bad at life.”

“I swear to god.”

“Don’t do that, that’s a sin. Don’t use the lord’s name in vain and all.”

“Anyway. You of all people know I am soft, actually. She didn’t like that. And so I gained a second personality and-”

It’s rude, the way Y Nhi interrupts, but Vinny doesn’t seem to mind at all. “So if you’re always soft, what’s left for me to help you with?”

“You’ll see,” he says. “Actually. No, I’m going to tell you. I get embarrassed about my relationships. So if it ever looks like I’m pushing you away… I’m just really fucking embarrassed, at least for this first stage. Do what you will with that.”

- bonus/epilogue -

They return home for Y Nhi’s mom’s birthday. They’ve always rode home together, since they are neighbors no matter where they are. No one finds it odd that they hold hands more than before, that Y Nhi is still averse to touching everyone but him.

They appear at social events hanging on each other’s arms. Commentary about their status as a “married couple” breeze over their heads, but they never confirm nor deny anything. In public, they remain aloof to each other. They show tenderness in only the smallest of gestures.

In private, they are as they ever were. Vinny still does her eyeliner on her bad days, but now she cuddles him on the couch on his bad days. Between the two of them, there are a lot of bad days, days when they almost threw in the towel.

But they didn’t. Instead, they’ve introduced all manner of pet names (Vinny’s favorites to use are love, darling, and lately, em. Y Nhi’s favorites are Vinny and anh). They write songs to each other, for each other, with each other. Every morning, they make the choice to keep loving each other the way they have since they were fifteen - and while they joke that they wasted so much time, it was a necessary time for them to spend apart to learn how to exist together and how to choose each other even when it’s the harder choice than letting go.

Even I get lonely too

It’s not hard

Every question’s got an answer

And mine is you

Where you go then I will follow

All my life

You’re the name that I will whisper to the night

#musclememory.wip #it turned out differently than planned #but I hope you enjoy it!

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