#in which case we'll have a longer chapter
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Decided no chapter this week. I’ve been working on it for days now and it’s just... not what it should be. I’ve basically been circling it like those clips of Miyazaki, only with a vape pen instead of a cigarette.
I can’t figure out what it is, and it’s gone through multiple rounds of editing as I tried to figure it out, but I’m just not happy with it. I’m not sure if I need to chuck it out and start fresh/rework it from the bottom up, or if it just doesn’t end in a satisfactory way, but I’m going to take another week to figure it out. .
#the red thread#half of me wants to bury the chapter in the backyard and start over#the other part of me says i can fix it#but i can't do that until i know what's *wrong* with it#something about it just doesn't flow right. it's not good enough to meet my standard for release#the good news is there's about 5k words and it'll likely get longer by next week#because i'm going to experiment and write forward a bit and see if it's the ending that's fucked#in which case we'll have a longer chapter
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Between royalty and vows
Pairings: Prince! Leon x Fem! Reader
Summary: A forced marriage, a fate set in stone, nothing could change that.
In the world of royalty, there were no choices, only obligations to fulfill. What you didn't expect was to become engaged to a renowned prince, ready to succeed the lineage.
Until that moment, you still had some hope that everything would work out, maybe it wasn't so bad. But it would be a shame if your future husband had a mistress.
Wouldn't it?
Wc:2.6k
Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt/ comfort, cheating, arranged marriage, eventual smut, one-sided love, affairs, (I'll put more once things start to progress).
Prologue | 1 |
An:It took me a little longer to post, sorry! I'm in my week of college exams, the finals are approaching. I'm studying a lot, feeling very tired. Thanks for the sweet messages! I didn't expect to receive so much support! I appreciate it!💕💕💕
Chapter 1: Sunset
As soon as the sun rose, Leon was already awake, it's not as if he'd managed to sleep through the night in any case, he was too anxious for that. That morning you would arrive at the castle, and consequently start living here. It was a big step, certainly, but it was more than necessary, especially as the wedding approached.
He himself couldn't believe that he was getting married in the next few days, it had all happened so quickly that he hadn't even had time to think about it properly. Just like that, his life was turned upside down, a pang in his heart every time he thought about it. Every time he thought that he was being forced to marry a stranger, someone he didn't have a shred of affection for.
All these thoughts disappeared once there was a knock on his door, causing him to push down his sheets and start getting ready for the day.
"Your Highness, your father wants to speak to you." The familiar voice of his butler, Ausdret.
Leon lets out a tired sigh, only muttering a small, "I'll be there."
He knows what his father wants to talk to him about, to reinforce his duty once again, to remind him about the dynasty.
There was no escape, and that was all that was on his mind as he got ready. He took longer than necessary, on purpose, just not to leave his bedroom now.
After he'd finally finished, he went to look in the mirror, just to make sure he was properly dressed and polished, after all it was supposed to be a big day. But his eyes stopped wandering over his face, and hovered on a lipstick mark on the collar of his shirt, enough to bring a small smile to his face, eyes sparkling with the memory of his beloved, his only one.
Knowing he would have to hide it, he took one last look before tucking the collar back into place. Making sure no one else could see.
As soon as he left his room, his butler was waiting for him outside, making several attempts at small talk, which Leon wasn't interested in, though. His mind was far away, as if he had never been here in the first place.
Once he arrived in his father's chamber, he was greeted with a big smile, which was not reciprocated by Leon. Only a small nod came from him.
"So everything's settled?" A small whisper, a question that Leon already knew the answer to.
His father proudly replied, "Yes, I've already arranged everything with Vladimir. You and she are getting married in the next few days." His father speaks, looking at the other man in the room, Duke Vladimir, his father's best friend.
However, Leon didn't seem at all excited about the situation, in fact, he seemed rather upset.
"This will be great, we'll finally be able to expand our business." This sentence came from Leon's father, who was more than happy with the pact.
It was a long-standing interest of the king, of course, who wouldn't want to expand their business with one of the richest royal families?
But on the other hand, Leon had other plans. Plans that were not accepted by his father.
"Cheer up, the girl is a beautiful princess, very kind from what I've seen. I'm sure you'll get on well." Vladimir says, trying to console Leon, but frankly, it only seems to have gotten worse.
"How long do we have to stay in this marriage?" Perhaps he was still hoping it would only be for a short time.
"Indefinitely. They will be the source of our success, especially the princess. We need to collaborate with them, just as they collaborate with us." The king says, somewhat obviously, that he won't be breaking the contract any time soon.
"If you'll excuse me, I'll talk to the other servants. We need to organize the wedding invitations." Vladimir says as he leaves, just after bowing to the two members of royalty in the room.
Silence followed, Leon too upset with his father to speak a single word, while the king was daydreaming.
An ambitious king who would slowly make his reign the most prosperous in history, he couldn't ask for more. This would make everything perfect for Leon to take the throne and make the nation of Italy even prouder.
"I don't know how far your greed will go." A plausible complaint coming from Leon, directly confronting his father.
"I only want what's best for you and, consequently, for my nation." They both knew where this conversation was going, but since they were both hard-headed, they would continue anyway.
"What's best for me? You've arranged a marriage with a stranger and you think that's what's best for me?" By now, Leon's voice had changed considerably.
King Leonardo didn't like arguing, least of all with his own son. However, he would never tolerate his disobedience, never.
"And what would be better for you? Marry a paltry lady? Honestly, you need to think bigger." And the king hit the nail on the head, because that's exactly what Leon was getting at.
Ashley did come from an affluent family, but she wasn't as rich as the British family. Which in this case was yours.
"Don't you dare talk about her like that." Leon was once again affronting his father, which would certainly have serious consequences.
"Listen, if you want to continue your affair with this so-called Ashley, go ahead, I won't stop you. Now don't expect me to let you ruin your own future, too."
The two of them looked at each other not very kindly, especially Leon.
It seemed like he was being generous. What's the point? Living a life on the sly with the woman he loved? It didn't seem fair. It wasn't fair.
"You still have a lot to learn, my son." The king spoke with a certain heavy heart, and at the same time a jaw-dropping arrogance.
But how could Leon calm down? He didn't even know the woman he was going to marry and, even worse, he couldn't commit to the person he loved, Ashley.
But what irritated him even more was the fact that he knew it was all his father's whim.
But even this marriage wouldn't stop the prince from having a relationship with this woman, even if it meant an extramarital affair. And Leon didn't care if that had consequences, not even for his future wife.
"All I ask is that you don't complicate things. I'm still being kind enough to allow you to have these affairs, whether with Ashley or any other woman." That would even sound gentle if he wasn't talking about extramarital affairs.
"... Alright, Father." Once again, Leon swallowed his pride and let it happen. But then again, it's not as if he could do anything against his father's wishes.
Leon stormed out of his father's chamber, strong, heavy footsteps echoing down the so far empty corridor, and he didn't even look back. His mind was in the purest of shambles, fists clenched and an expression that wasn't the friendliest.
As he walked quickly through the corridors, he couldn't help but notice the commotion outside, expensive carriages arriving in the castle courtyard, making room for butlers to work and remove whatever was inside.
He imagined it was the arrangements for the marriage, since it would take place in the next few weeks. So it wasn't anything that caught his attention for long.
However, as soon as he looked up from the mezzanine, he saw the familiar figure, it was you. Wearing a simple blue dress, delicate gloves that covered up to your forearms, and of course, he couldn't forget your soft features.
As soon as you saw him from the hall, you gave him a discreet smile, making him let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding. Even for a brief second, his expression softened, but that didn't make him any less upset by the whole situation.
Queen Sarah spoke to you politely, saying how grateful she was for the courteous company of the princess, who was in fact being awaited by the other residents of the castle, at least most of them.
In fact, the queen felt lonely, since apart from the governesses, she had no other female companion to talk to during the day.
Slowly, Leon descended the grand staircase, stepping onto the red carpet, his steps light and slow, as if he were analyzing what he would do next.
Your eyes met his, and you smiled gently, bowing to him as you should. And he reciprocated, of course.
"Princess." He said, giving a nod to his mother, who politely curtsied to you.
"I'll get your bedroom ready." She says, her voice sweet and calm, as she moves gracefully through the castle.
You felt a shiver run up your spine at the thought that you were about to share a room with him. Since you weren't married yet, you were just going to sleep next to each other, a door that could be opened to connect one room to the other, since couples who hadn't made a commitment weren't supposed to sleep together until they were married.
"You have a beautiful home, prince." You murmur, the sweet smile always on your lips.
He chuckles a little, offering you his arm to hold, "Let me introduce you to the castle itself."
You smile, taking his arm and letting him lead you, obviously he was only doing it out of politeness, but you'd love to spend a little more time with him.
When your covered fingers curled around his arm, you couldn't help but feel the muscles that flexed with every slight movement, without any effort. Just as you couldn't help but notice his eyes every time he looked at you and explained something, the way his voice echoed through the empty corridors.
You walked side by side, your footsteps echoing through the unoccupied hallways, giving off a calm and intimate atmosphere somehow. You noticed the paintings, the properly placed decorations.
Even the curtains matched the carpets, as much as you were used to this sort of thing, it was still breathtaking to see such a sophisticated place.
You felt that despite your enchantment with the prince, you could see his lack of enthusiasm for you, you could see that it sounded more like a duty than anything else.
What did you expect? That it would be a fairy tale? In this life you were leading, the heart didn't always follow the rules of fairy tales.
"Let me take you to the courtyard, it's a nice day." You notice the sigh at the end of the sentence, as well as the distance he kept.
Even with all his explanations, all the talk about royal life, homework, the explanations for every painting in the corridor, you didn't pay much attention. Your attention was focused completely on him, perhaps because you were hoping for a hint of feeling, whatever that was.
Too bad you wouldn't find it even if you looked hard enough.
As soon as you left the large building, you were presented with a landscape that looked more like a hand-painted picture.
The courtyard was perfect, full of roses and other types of flowers, a wooded area, the grass all at the same length, without a single flaw. Meticulously cut bushes, flowers that adorned the greenery and gave it extra life, it seemed magical.
The afternoon sun shone down on the whole place, bringing everything to life. The birds humming and bathing in the water fountain, nature stretching as far as the eye could see.
"I hope you are pleased, princess." Leon says, his calm, velvety voice immediately making you look at him.
"Certainly, it's very well appreciated." With a sweet, polite smile you answered him, approaching the fountain and sitting down on one of the edges.
And he repeated the gesture, sitting down next to you.
Just as you were about to engage him in conversation, a strong wind whipped against you, causing your hair to tangle, the softly combed strands to fall into your face, undoing a good few minutes' work in an instant.
Then you felt a warm, robust hand on your cheek, brushing the strands behind your ear.
A gesture that was intimate, no doubt about it, and that was able to make you blush slightly as soon as you felt his hand graze your cheek, but which he pulled away.
"Thank you." You say with a gentle, shy smile, tidying up a few more of the strands that were still getting messy.
Despite his smile, you could see the piercing blue gaze, without much emotion. His gaze, which seemed to be as cold as ice, was still so attractive.
"My pleasure, princess." The warm tone didn't change his placid expression, not even if he tried very hard.
As the two of you stood in silence, all you could hear was the gentle breeze and the birds singing, everything seemed so peaceful.
Except for the restlessness of your heart, which stubbornly pounded every time he looked at you. And you mentally plagued yourself every time this happened.
Why was he doing that? Out of courtesy? Politeness? Decorum? Or were you thinking too much? Creating too many expectations?
And so you remained, gazing at the horizon and watching the sun slowly set, watching the magic of nature while your minds were in a whirl.
Your hand on the edge of the fountain, as well as his, fingers almost grazing each other, and you were tempted to make a move.
However, it would have been inappropriate for a lady, to say the least. Especially knowing that the chances of him taking your hand away were high.
So you'd better make the most of what you had.
As the garden began to darken a little and the sunlight slowly faded, Leon stood and looked around, seeing that it was already getting dark.
You've spent the whole day walking around the castle, so time has passed too quickly. At least for you.
"We should go, dinner should be ready by now." He was the first to break the silence, once again offering his arm and his company to take you to the dining area.
And there you went again, walking slowly through the courtyard back into the castle.
However, halfway there Leon stopped, picking up a red rose that had fallen to the ground. As soon as he knelt down to pick it up, he turned to you and planted a soft kiss on the back of your hand, his warm lips brushing against your gloved hand. It sent shivers through your body.
"Red looks good on you." He murmurs, placing the flower in your hair, very gently so as not to mess it up.
You made a little chuckle, the blush clear on your cheeks. Was he doing it out of politeness? Or just to keep up appearances?
It would have been a beautiful, subtle, gentle and even romantic gesture. That's if you hadn't noticed the lipstick staining the collar of his shirt.
Oh oh, poor you.
#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x y/n#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy#leon x reader#leon x y/n#leon x you#leon resident evil#leon kennedy smut#resident evil 4 leon#resident evil leon#leon scott kennedy x you#leon scott kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy smut#leon smut#resident evil#re leon
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Building Houses and Burning Bridges Pt 11: Teasing and tit Jobs
Summary:
It seems, oddly enough, that Gregory House lives to annoy you. He takes 'arseholish boss' to the next level. Wake up in the morning, ready to have breakfast, and drive to the hospital where you both work? Nope, you're getting a text that says you're late to his impromptu 4:30 AM meeting where he's had the 'breakthrough of the century' on the team's latest case. Get your hair cut and walk into work, for once feeling confident? Nope, he's saying that he would have done a better job blinded, hands tied and going through Vicodin withdrawals. Finally, 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, prove him wrong and attempt to wipe the cockiness off his face? Nope, you're simply slow because you didn't get to your diagnosis quicker and weak-willed because you didn't fight him for it in the beginning. Everything House does infuriates you, and it seems everything you do infuriates him. No wonder you end up pinned to the wall of your apartment and groping him like your life depends on. And knowing House, it very may well.
Warnings: Adult language, mature themes, eventual smut, female protagonist, no reference of y/n
Rating: 18+ MDNI
Current Status: Ongoing
A/N: An update! Lol, this fic has been rotting in my google docs for too long. so i'm procrastinating my uni assignments due tomorrow, and i'm updating here. hope to get chapter 13 out by the end of may but we'll see how that goes lmao
Masterlist: Building Houses and Burning Bridges
Next Chapter: Pt 12
Word Count: 4.2k
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You’re off the medication, finally.
That’s what your rational brain should have thought when you woke up, and no longer saw the white pills on the bedside table. No more gulping them down, no more harsh cough or aches. You were better.
You’re not thinking that however.
You’re staring at House while he’s sleeping; which is odd, you can admit. Maybe creepy. You don’t admonish yourself, however. How could you? He’s entrancing. You wish you had some paper here, hell, even a napkin or tissue, so you could scrawl and sketch, to have something tangible to look at later.
You feel your heart twist at the notion. You might not wake up next to him again or ever; He might decide that just sex was horrible with you, and he never wants you in his bed again. Or he might have seen the way you looked at him last night, when you were rubbing his leg and easing his pain, and decided it was too much, too soon- decided that he was right at the start, and that there was no way you could ever stop your feelings for him from interfering with just sex .
Was he right? You knew that things had shifted in your heart after sleeping with him. Before, you could sidestep around the topic and push off any feelings as a simple whimsical thought, a school girl’s fantasy, and nothing more. Now, you want to kiss his lips and bite the apple of his cheek and suck his neck and tell him he’s yours and no one else's. Too much, too soon. You couldn’t do that, couldn’t tell him that- because House wasn’t yours. Sure, he seems intent on having more fun with you. But that was it. Just sex . He would never share the way you wanted him, he would never look at you with much else besides lust.
But you don’t have paper, or a napkin, or a tissue. So you lay there, and as you stare at him, in the back of your mind you think this will do. If I can’t have him the way I want him, this will do.
He looks at ease, for once. You know his leg is still bad and that even in his sleep, he’s probably scheming. But there’s no analysing gaze. He’s not staring down at some patient with mistrust and he’s not rolling his eyes at you and he’s not snapping at one of the ducklings. The notch in his brow isn’t so prominent and his mouth is open slightly as he breathes deeply. He’s relaxed, beside you. This will do.
His alarm goes off and you clench your eyes shut.
You hear him shift, fumbling to hit the clock and finally flicking the right button to silence it’s blaring noise. He lays back against the mattress and settles with a sigh. You listen to him breathe and the overwhelming stillness of the room.
“How long have you been awake and watching, newbie?”
You flick open one eye, and he has his arms tucked behind his head as he gazes up to the ceiling. “How’d you know?”
“I felt psychically attacked by you- or should I say ravaged?” He looks at you from the corner of his eye. “Also you snore when you’re sleeping.”
“I do not!”
He smiles at the ceiling. “Yes, you do. You sleep talk too.”
“No! You’re lying.” You swing out an arm, landing a light blow on his chest. He recoils from it with exaggeration and twists himself to face you.
“If it’s any consolation, you only say random things when you’re sleep talking. Like ‘House just like thaaaaa’.” He trails off into a high pitched moan.
You scoff, but bury your flaming face in your hands. You peek out, briefly. “Are you serious?”
He smirks. “Yep. You’re all over me, even in your sleep.” He reaches out a hand, brushing a strand of hair from your face. His hand rests on the side of your face, and his thumb smooths over your cheek. “But don’t worry. I’ll only tell Wilson.”
You laugh, but move swiftly and twist yourself to lean on your forearms and knees. House’s eyes flick between the dangling neckline of his shirt that you’re wearing, where your cleavage is showing, and your arse that you stick in the air.
“You’re not gonna tell Wilson anything.”
“Oh, yeah?” House cocks an eyebrow, flopping onto his back once more. He smirks at you. ���What makes you so certain I haven’t already told him everything?”
“Because you were the one who had to stop a blowjob so you wouldn’t be a one pump chump. You can’t act like you didn’t want it just as much as me.”
He tilts his head, and tuts. “Yeah, I can. Last I checked, you were the one screaming- the one who lost the bet.” His smile drips with an overly sweet honey. “You still need to pay up, by the way. I take cash or checks.”
You sit back and his cool eyes track your movements as you sit on your heels. “I want a rematch.”
“Not a chance. I won, fair and square.”
“You won because you didn’t let me suck you off like I wanted.” You say bluntly. “You won because you were able to hulk out and keep me under you.”
His eyes darken at your words, but his lips still tilt up. “I’m a cripple and you’re playing the “you overpowered me” card?”
“No, I’m playing the “you had to top otherwise you would have been a goner” card.”
“Still not happening.”
“Double or nothing.” You clench your jaw. “But this time, I’m in control and you can sit there, and look pretty.”
House bats his eyelashes. “You know I’m the best at that. But trust me, you could tie me up and you’d still be the first one begging.”
You smirk, shifting on your knees slightly. “You wanna bet? Yesterday was a fluke on my part- I’ve been cooped up in here for weeks. It was cabin-fever induced touch deprivation.”
He scoffs, sitting up and crossing his arms with a level of self-absorbed-assurance you couldn’t master. But there’s a glint in his eyes. He knows what you’re getting at, but he’s letting himself play right into your hand.
“Tie me up. You won’t win.” He moves, leaning up to whisper in your ear.
You laugh, placing your hand on his shoulder and shoving him back against the bedding. “Let me find your belt first and you won’t be so sure.”
You scooch past him and his hand snakes out, pinching your arse as you stand up from the bed. You shoot him a withering look and he just grins.
When you return, he cocks his head slightly. “I didn’t think you were serious about the belt. Gonna whip me too?”
You give him a pout dripping with fake sympathy. “Only if you beg.”
You scan the bed with a disapproving eye and he tracks your gaze to the solid headboard. “I can’t really tie you to that. So turn around.”
His eyes flick down you. “Just because we’ve committed the most unholy of sins together doesn’t mean you’re my boss now. Don’t go on a power trip.”
“Ohh, you’re so right, House.” His lips tilt up even though it’s obvious you’re mocking him. You lean forward, ghosting your lips against his in a smile. “Now be good for me, please, and turn over.”
You see him swallow, but he laughs you off and gives in, twisting around. You shuffle closer to him on the bed, and move his hands softly behind him. You loop the belt in on itself and place it around his wrists before tightening it. He hisses slightly when the edge digs into his skin, and you press your palm into his shoulder, spinning him back around.
He sits with his back up to the headboard, arms twisted behind himself. House glowers at you from beneath his brow. “I didn’t think you were serious .”
He stretches his legs out in front of him, and you see him already twitching in his boxers. You smirk. “You just don’t want to admit how much you like it.”
His jaw clenches.
“But,” you say, your voice dropping in tone. “If you don’t want this, at any point, tell me. No hard feelings.” You cross your fingers over your heart in a promise.
“I’ve known since I saw you that it would end with one of us tied up.” He tilts his head, raising his eyebrows up in an obvious fashion. “Next time, it’s your turn.”
Sitting beside his thigh, you pat it with mocking comfort. “Sure thing.”
He scowls at you but it’s quickly replaced by a sharp inhale when your hands reach out, pulling down his boxers. He’s half hard and you spit on your hands the same way you did last time. The action makes him tense. You reach out ghosting wet fingers across him and House hisses beside you. His attention is torn between your hands and your face. Eventually, you feel him decide to glare at you, and you look at him, a sweet saccharine smile in place.
“You doing alright, House?”
“Not exactly. Feels like you’re trying to tickle my dick.”
You laugh, and the mask of power slips for a moment when you tuck your chin to your chest in a giggle. You look back at him coyly, and his jaw ticks. “‘M sorry. I don’t have to touch you there.”
House opens his mouth to protest when your hand abandons him, but the words are lost when you siddle in close to him and let your fingers dance across his chest. You lean in closer, face next to his and your lips ghost across his cheek. He says nothing, no cocky retorts or snarky remarks to be heard. You kiss his cheek, and trail down to his jaw, your hand making smooth shapes across the plane of his chest, his shoulder, his neck. You tug his shirt up and it stays wrangled up, showing the smattering of hair leading down his lower belly. You plant kiss after kiss on everywhere you can reach, soft and gentle.
You find a spot on his neck and bite it softly before you continue across the smooth column of his throat, leaving wet kisses and marks wherever you can touch. Your other hand sneaks up behind him, entangling itself in his hair. You scratch against his scalp as you bite down on the junction between his neck and shoulder. He’s breathing heavily above you, and you finally abandon your own resistance, and lean closer, skating your lips across his. He leans into the kiss awkwardly, unable to support himself with his hands tied behind him, but he still pushes forward to you. You push him back, chasing after his lips and deepening the kiss. It’s intoxicating and feverish and your hand reaches down, this time firmly grasping his cock. He’s not half hard anymore, instead pulsing against your palm with heat. He gasps into your mouth and you smile against him.
You pull back, setting yourself beside him again.
You pump him with your hand firmly, and he groans, hips bucking softly into your hand. You pull back, and he shoots you a confused look.
You just smirk, staying silent. You pump him again, and pull back once more when he moves. He catches on quickly, hissing. “That is not fair.”
“Says who?” You tilt your head at him.
“Me.” He scoffs, indignantly.
“I don’t listen to crazy, tied up men.” You say, pouting sadly.
“Untie me then. I’ll prove I’m not crazy.”
“Nice try, House.”
You pump him again, and like the quick learner he is, he just grits his teeth and stays still.
“Good job, baby.” You say sweetly, pressing a kiss to his neck. You stroke him again, this time tightening your grip each time you reach his head. You kiss at his neck, pumping him up and down, loosely and then firm in your fist.
He swears beneath his breath softly. Not admitting defeat, but he’s getting there.
You spit down onto your palm, swiping your thumb over his head. You pump him again, and again, your other hand reaching down to softly cup and squeeze his balls.
He rolls his head back, leaning against the headboard with shut eyes. “Fuck, Newbie. The brothel teach you that trick?”
You hand tightens to the point of just-uncomfortable around his cock, and his eyes snap open as he groans. You snicker.
“I’ve had a lot of free time- you’ve got so many pornos in your apartment.”
His eyes snap to yours, and even though he knows that he doesn’t own one porno that could have taught you any of this, his eyes get glossy with the thought. “Yeah?”
You nod. “Yeah.” You pump him in your hand, faster, quickening the speed. “You’d be gone for so long and I got so bored.”
He can’t even respond to you, and you let out a breathy, just for show, moan, face scrunching as you keep talking in a breathy tone. You pump him, bouncing on your calves slightly with the movement. “Had to fuck myself in your bed while you were gone. Did it when you were in the lounge room, sleeping on the couch.”
He’s enraptured, mouth open slightly and blue eyes pinned to yours as you continue. “Wasn’t enough. Just kept thinking I should go and wake you up and beg you to help me.”
His throat bobs. “You should have.”
You lean closer, running your mouth along his jaw. He just tilts his head back, giving you better access. “I will be.”
You pump him faster, the sound of his cock fucking into your hand obscene and filling the room.
“Fuck.” He says, voice breathy. “I’m close.”
“Just gotta beg for, House. C’mon, you can use your words.” You mumble against his skin. “I’ll swallow it all.”
Maybe a small part thought that would break his resolve, but he shakes his head and you grin against him.
“No.”
You lean back, smirking at him. “Then you don’t get to cum.”
He glares at you, his nostrils flaring, but he says nothing, fine to be blue balled if it means you don’t win so quickly.
He expects you to stop your movement but you don’t. You keep pumping him, faster, harder, smiling softly at him.
“W-what are you doing?” He asks, voice shaky, his hips stuttering into your hand- you won’t punish him for that right now.
“Nothing.” You look at him innocently. “Just don’t cum.”
“Well, sweetheart.” He spits, still managing to sound like he has the power here. “I don’t have the willpower of a buddhist monk, if you keep jerking me off like this I’m going to cum.”
“I know.” You smile sweetly, pumping his cock up and down with your fist.
He glances to your face, confused at what you’re playing at. He won’t understand until it’s too late, and so his gaze rips back down to where your hand is wrapped around him.
“I’m-” He stutters. “Fuck, I’m going to-”
He can’t finish his sentence, as you keep jerking him at a brutal pace, his head lolling back. He groans, throbbing in your palm.
You wretch your hand back at the last second and watch with a grin as his dick falls against his stomach, his cum splattering against his bare stomach. His voice is wrecked as he calls out, swearing. His breath is heavy, shuddering up and down.
His dick is still hard and red, and his eyes fling open, glaring at you as you smile back at him.
“What the fuck did you just do , Newbie?”
You cross your finger over your heart. “A magician never tells her secrets.”
He opens his mouth to protest or cuss you out, but falls silent when you reach out and wrap your hand around his still hard cock once more.
“Fuck! Fuck that’s so- fuck.” He groans, shaking his head. He lets out a wrecked sound from the back of his throat as you smear his cock in his own cum, using it to stroke him up and down once more.
He’s oversensitive, but ruined. You look at him, jutting out your bottom lip. “You alright House? D’you want me to jerk you off again?”
He shakes his head and your movements instantly still, but then he nods. “No, yes. Fuck, that just feels so much more .”
Your hands resume their gentle movement as you grin wickedly. “That’s the point.”
You pause, moving to nudge his legs apart and you resettle, kneeling between them. He sighs, relieved when your hand falls from his cock, giving him some reprieve. Instead, you spread your own legs, hand tracing down your soft stomach circle at that spot between your legs. You’re so wet, and you use the slick to run messy circles over your clit. You moan, your other hand falling to his non-injured leg for support. Your fingers dig into the skin as the pressure builds up in your core. He says nothing, and your eyes flick up to his, moaning out his name as you start to shudder. When you make yourself unravel in front of him, he doesn't say anything, but his cock bobs, neglected weeping at the head.
You use your free hand to tug your shirt up, over your head. You spit into your messy palm, and reach up smearing both yourself and him against your breasts.
“C’mon. Untie me.”
Your eyes flick up to his, which are glued to your chest. “Beg.”
“No.”
“Then no.”
You shuffle backwards on the bed, and pat the mattress in front of you. “Move it, House.”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m a tied up cripple. Did you think that one through?”
You shoot him a look, and he sighs but shuffles closer until he finally lays flat against the mattress, head still propped up by the pile of pillows. You settle between his spread legs, placing a kiss to his thigh. “See? Wasn’t so hard, was it?”
He scowls. “I got rope burn from my own belt.”
“Aw, you poor thing.” You look up at him, doe-eyed. “I’ll make it better.”
Your hand dips down to the apex of your thighs and once more you smear your slick against your chest. You spit into your hand too, and massage your breasts, squeezing them.
You lean down, until you’re positioned perfectly over his cock. It bobs at your attention, and you look up, grinning at House. He still scowls at you, but there’s an excited glint in his eyes.
You nudge his cock between your breast, and move yourself, back and forward. You have to find a good rhythm first, but soon you’re guiding your slick breasts up and down his cock.
“Shit. Fuck, Newbie.” He gasps, and you bat your lashes up at him, quickening your speed. Soft, wet slapping fills the room and you moan quietly.
He groans, cock still overstimulated. You just let drool pool onto your breasts, squeezing them tighter as give him a tit job.
You hear him shuffle against the sheets and you look up once more, still guiding his cock in and out.
He looks like he could murder you, but sucks in a sharp breath. “Please, let me cum.”
You tsk. “You call that begging?”
He groans as you keep fucking him, his own weeping pre-cum making it messier.
“Please, Newbie.” He growls, voice drawing out into a groan. “Please, fuck, make me cum.”
“You lose.” You say softly.
He nods, desperate, cheeks flushed, stomach tensing. He’s close, wrecked after his ruined orgasm. He needs this.
You take pity on him, and still your movements. He whips his head up to look at you, aghast, but he curses when you quickly straddle him, nudging his cock closer to your centre, and sink down on him.
You sigh as he bottoms out, while he groans loudly. He’s big, but with how wet and ready you are, you take him easier this time. He stills nudges up against your cervix, and you feel so full when you sit fully down on him. You don’t have it in you to play him any further, and instead begin bouncing yourself on him. It’s not harsh, but his moans have a desperation in them that coil that feeling in your stomach once more.
“F-fuck.” He gasps, cursing when you angle him deeper. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”
“Or vicodin.” You say, teasing.
He shakes his head, face scrunched up in pleasure. “You. It’s going to be you.”
“Yeah?” You breathe shakily atop him.
“Yeah.” He moans. “You feel so fucking good. Fuck, you’re such a good girl for me.”
You lean down, pressing your chest to his, kissing his neck softly. “Mmhmm. Just for you, House.”
“Just for me.” He growls, beneath you. At this angle, his cock nudges against that spongey spot inside you. Not having to ask for permission or be the one to beg, you hold that angle, fucking yourself on him, making his cock hit that spot again and again.
He holds out well, but when you whine against his neck, and your orgasm rolls over you, clenching you against his cock, he lets out a loud groan. He bucks his hips into yours, and you sit back against him as he keeps cumming. He groans, and you feel his cock pulsing in you, throbbing against your walls.
When he finally stops, he lets out a heavy breath, his chest falling and rising rapidly.
“Fuck.” He says.
“Fuck.” You agree, chuckling.
You swing your legs off him, his cum dripping out of you. You don’t care about ruining his sheets, and instead help him sit up, untieing him.
Even with his spend dripping out of you, and your slick smeared against his crotch, when his arms are untied he wraps them around your waist and pulls you closer, drawing you into a deep kiss.
You smile against him. “Glad you’re not a sore loser.”
“‘M so glad you are.” He teases, lips tugging up.
#house md fanfiction#house md x reader#gregory house x reader#gregory house#house md#masterlist#house md masterlist#greg house x f!reader#gregory house fic#gregory house smut#dariaslookalike masterlist#dariaslookalike fic
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Hi! I love your gothan platonic batfam series, but every time I read it I can't help but wonder what Duke's reaction to all this would be. He's one of my fave batfam characters, do you have any plans to add him in later chapters?
Just curious, no pressure. Hopefully I didn't come off as pushy. (sorry if i did)
Have a good day! <3
Hello! And you didn't come off as pushy, no worries :]
I'll be honest and admit that I have thought of adding Duke to the series- but if I was going to do that in a more organic manner, and just generally in a way that makes sense- that would've been in Chapter 2 or 3. Though trust me I am still debating... and the only reason I'm hesitating is because I don't think I'd be able to capture his personality, or really just him as a person very well.
Granted, I do inherently view yandere versions of characters as OOC for... various reasons (some of which are obvious, especially when it comes to the Batfam and DC characters in general), but I do try to keep very close to the character (or my general understanding and interpretation of them for things like DC, who have multiple canons and such) and write them in a way that does still compliment or adhere to parts of their personality or overall mindset... if only generally. Like Bruce and his closeness to those around them yet the distance he so desperately tries to keep - not for himself, but rather those around him. His strive for justice and to do good to make up for a sin, a fault that isn't his to forgive or one he hardly had anything to do with and so on. How that makes him inherently protective if only at a distance and in silence. How he tries to keep himself away from others, if only to protect them, and yet finds himself surrounded anyway. Etcetera etcetera.
Case and point- I don't have a really good graps of Duke's general character and aren't confident enough to write him into the Not Series at the moment- and by the time I do, it may feel shoehorned in and just not as great as it could be (even if a line I wrote in Chapter 1 was meant to be him..). Though I am learning more about him! And if anyone would like to share what they know and their interpretations of his character they have and such while I still have asks open, I'd love to read and see them :]
In future series', oneshots, and just general things I plan to post and share on this blog, Duke will very much make an appearance and we'll reach 10 yanderes for the Batfam instead of just 9. (Some series' which will definitely be longer than the Not Series.)
On that note, I have thought of how Duke would feel (and some others earlier on have asked a bit as well), and from the little I know of him, this is how I think at the moment he would generally react/feel (though it may be inaccurate and such because of what I mentioned previously 😅):
I think he would start out as one of the many others that actually live in the manor or just so happened to be there at the time — and that being he feels guilt first (unlike the only person in that house who doesn't/didn't) and just... wouldn't know what to do. The time passed and everything the reader has done sort of leaves him stumped, and just stuck processing until everyone's rushing out and around to find you and before he knows it- he's following out with them to do the exact same thing.
I think he leaves before everyone else, and considering that he does daytime patrol, it isn't as odd to see him out and about anyway. Though the frantic-ness of his movements and actions are weird, and for once, more outwardly, Duke panics.
He feels bad, of course he does, and more similarly to Cass- he can only wish that he could do things with out. That he wants to be in the room when you got your awards or had been there through the hardships he knows you undoubtedly faced without even having to see the medkit like Bruce does in Chapter 2. So he goes out to look for you, but not so much for your safety and more so to just... apologize. To say every little thing he can in hopes to make things better, to lessen the damage.
And of course, just to see you.
More than anything Duke wants to make it up to you right away, but has half a mind to know he'll have to take things slow. He's still sensible to some degree, if not only partially of half-insane just like the rest of the fam (minus a certain blonde and red head who are only a sliver of the way there), he knows it'll take time, that you probably won't forgive him right away. But that's okay! He can live with that, he understands that, but he just needs to see you. Just once- if only to see who you are now and the person you've become. If only to say an apology that might fall too flat or feel too empty considering the little he knows about you.
Just once. No matter how awkward it is or how much he regrets it later. Just once.
Though, despite that he is divided on bringing you home. It would be nice, sure, but by the time that discussion comes up he isn't sure that's the best idea. Even less so with how those that do want you home seem to want to go about it, and just generally the kind of people they are. Impulsive. Strong. Threatening- they'll scare you and do more damage then help ease tensions, and he doesn't want that to happen. You don't deserve that- even if he barely knows you. Duke can feel it, you don't. Even then, they help people out, not hurt them, not like they did with you.
Duke wants to spend time with you, but he's willing to do that outside of the manor if it means making you more comfortable and warm up to him a little more. As long as he sees you he can't complain...
So when Dick messes up, he's upset. Like everyone else besides Cassandra he doesn't know what happened but knows that something absolutely went wrong. Dick usually wasn't so obvious about things like that either, but with how hurt and just... broken he looks, they could all tell. Duke could tell.
Granted, he's not upset enough to change his mind, and if anything it definitely makes him more adamant about not bringing you home yet, but he can’t find it in himself to be fully against the idea, even then.
The one thing he wants to do after that, if anything, is more determined to make things right.
If Dick of all people couldn't make it up to you, then hell, maybe Duke can.
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Hi, Linked Maze fans! It's me again!
Ohhhh boy we are cooking and I am excited. Let's do a late-night ramble with yours truly
When I tell you I looked at these panels for a reasonable amount of time I was lying and it was longer than that.
Now a link to the comic page can be found Here! Please go give it some love :D
For the important stuff!
Linked Maze belongs to @linked-maze and its wonderful creator @frulleboi. (You should follow them, they are wonderful) And as a heads up, Linked maze is for more mature audiences! :)
As usual, you know the drill, Grab some water, Grab some popcorn and prepare for me to ramble at you for however long it is!
Here we go!
Oh lordy it's the sun (you'll see why later.)
He sniffin. Sniff Sniff
Now, Everyone remembers the first rule of exploring. Dont run off! That includes you Wolfy!
Now I have a theory. Which I'll come back to in detail later. But just, Remember the shadow behind four for me. We'll get back to it.
Warrior is the group Dad at this point. also, I love this side shot of him thank you.
Also
Warrior. Speaking to Wolfie like he is a kid rather than a wolf.
WARRIOR KNOWS SOMETHING IS UP YOU CANT CHANGE MY MIND
I dont think It'll be Sky. I think it'll be a hero we haven't met yet!
We interupt this comic analysis for unhinged analysis :D
Ready? Me too, lets go
Because, that shadow?
this one?
I dont think it's wolfy, It can't be.
Wolfie's shadow has a definition to it. It has a shape.
You can see the outlines of his tail, which is what we would see if it were him.
Where this one is a blob. Closer to a person.
Ie Winds's shadow
the blob
In fact, if I had to give you a position for Wolfy right now. It's not there. Let me explain.
Shadowssssss
Remember the sun? (Me too, I miss it;-;)
The sun can tell us a bunch about time and stuff. But also where a person is (Because fun angles and maths that I know way too much about tbh)
Anyway
So Wolfy's shadow hits another wall
This wall looks flat so it can't be a corner. (Taking the grass as reference)
And his face isn't shadowed at all, So he himself isn't behind a wall. He's approaching one tho. So in this case I reckon Wolfie isn't visible at all to wind and Warriors at the point Four turns to them.
So who is this mysterious shadow?
It ain't angel. No way.
I reckon it is another Link group. And we are either going to meet the last of the Links we are yet to meet. Or we are pulling groups together.
You know what....
I think it's World or Spirit. And we are gonna see these guys interact before they meet the other larger group of heroes.
Though im leaning towards Spirit just because of the shadow's shape. (And the lack of Sheerow)
Let me know what you think because I'm not 100% sure and I'm interested in what you think.
Okay ramble over, but to be fair that's why your here right?
Oh windddddd
the poor boy
I feel so bad for him he didn't deserve this. He probably tried to open his eye cause he was excited. :(
:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
The boyyyyyyy
He's trying to be a strong hero in front of these other heroes again. This poor kid i feel so bad for him.
ALSO THE EARS :(
They have expressive ears and it kills me to see wind sad like this.
AHHHHHH
BIG BRO WARRIOR
I LOVE HIM
And his little ear lower of worry for the small I love him sm okay.
Excuse me?
bhdjlhsafdnsajkfndas;nfdas
You can't leave it like that
Where's wolfy
Wheres four?
Will the small boy ever not be in pain?
I have questions!
Ahh okay okay I loved this update it was very fun. Im excited to see what's coming up in the next chapter.
Thats all from me!
Have a great night all! :D
#linked maze#linkedmaze#linked maze analysis#zelda au#links meet au#loz au#lm twilight#lm four#lm warrior#lm wind#lm wolfy#comic analysis with major#ramble corner with major#suitable name for these#oh lord its 3am but i love this comic i had to#worth it#forever worth it#im going to bed lmao
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The Ghosts in IDOLiSH7 are a Literary Device, Mostly
(an essay by me)
People are always asking me, "Robin, what the fuck is up with those ghosts in IDOLiSH7? How come this otherwise completely non-supernatural universe randomly has these two ghosts that show up and then never get acknowledged again? Is it just canon that ghosts exist and only Riku and Momo can see them?" and I am always telling them that I have an analysis about this I just haven't written it yet. But that ends today, as do all of these very pressing concerns about the i7 Ghosts™, because here I am, finally writing the analysis. This essay will have two sections, the first on the training camp ghost from part 3/third beat, and the second on the Re:vale house ghost from Yuki's third chapter of Re:member. So, spoilers for all of part 3/third beat in both sections, Re:member in section 2, and there's one extremely minor spoiler for part 4 in section 1 but it's honestly so predictable I don't think it even counts. Also, I'll reiterate this once we get to it, but just a warning that section 2 will contain discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation, and a brief mention of self-harm, so please stop reading after section 1 if you don't want to see any of that! Another less important disclaimer about section 2 is that I am going to spend an entirely unecessary amount of time talking about Yuki. I am normal about Yuki. Okay. Without further ado, let's watch my spiral into ghost analogy insanity unfold!
Game translations: @seigyokus Re:member translations: @ takara_time (+ scans and editing by @ waitamomoment) Rabbit chat translations: @osakaso5
Section 1: The Training Camp Ghost
This first point applies to both ghosts, but I wanna start by noting that I think superstitions and beliefs like this are more common in Japan than a lot of other places, so yeah it is entirely possible that ghosts are just a canon and accepted thing in Idolish7's universe and this isn't really that strange of a detail for the series to include. However, I don't have any real background knowledge about if ghosts are normal in non-supernatural anime/etc. and I am not committing to that kind of research, so we'll have to leave the specifics of the ghost canonicity issue to someone else. But regardless of how canon they are, I think we've established well enough by now that the i7 writers don't put much of anything in the series without reason (re:vale band name you will always be famous. to me), and that definitely applies here as well - both of our ghosts are doing a LOT of potential symbolic work in their brief appearances, and that's what we'll be unpacking today, starting with the TCG.
The infamous TCG (training camp ghost) of Atami needs no introduction, but I'll give her one anyway. During the filming of the Friends Day special, upon following the shopping group home, she offers her services to Riku (inexplicably the only person capable of communicating with her) for the evening entertainment group's test of courage, terrorises several cast members throughout the day, and finally brings us Soma Saito's incredible cover of Dis One before probably being sent back to idol fan purgatory forever. Who is she? Where did she come from? I have several theories.
1.1: The TCG is the audience
While the 'ghosts are real in i7' possibility is there, I think it's also important to note in this case that the whole training camp is very explicitly being filmed for TV, and the biggest vibe I get from this episode of the anime is that the ghost is a part of the show, and we're seeing that show through the eyes of its in-universe audience. This happens pretty often in i7 (for example, when we see the groups talk to their fans during concerts), and generally the line between the real fans and the fictional ones can get pretty blurred (which deserves its own much longer analysis but I Am Not Writing All That), so everything with the in-universe audience here kind of naturally extends to us as the real audience. The TCG would probably be easy enough to manufacture with special effects as long as Riku and the driver guy were in on it, and it would make sense for the Friends Day producers to include it to keep things entertaining and be a stand-in for their viewers/fans of the idol groups - the ghost is specifically a female fan of male idols (Zero), and a lot of her interactions with the cast would qualify as self-insert material (e.g. Tenn singing for her and Riku looking directly into the camera to smile at her). And speaking of Tenn and Riku,
1.2 The TCG is Nanase twins angst
I think this connection is fairly obvious in their exchange here. You could make a case for the ghost representing either one of the twins. Like Riku, she's being pushed away by Tenn before she's ready to leave, told that it's necessary and for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds. Like Tenn, she's leaving despite Riku's protests and part of her not really wanting to go at first, because she believes it's for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds.
There's also the association with ghosts of being ignored/invisible, and Riku being the only person able to see or talk to her. Maybe it's because he's the only one who's able to reach her. Maybe he can see her because he understands her on some level - she was torn away from life like he was torn away from his brother, and she's now practically invisible to everyone else around her, like Riku probably feels to Tenn (and arguably the rest of his family in some ways). Maybe he wants her to feel seen, and he can make Tenn acknowledge her in the way he wants to be acknowledged by him. I might actually be going somewhere with this so bear with me for a second.
1.3: The TCG is monster Riku foreshadowing
So my first thought when I watched the Nanase twin angst portion of this episode was 'well obviously the ghost isn't real and Riku is just using it to talk to Tenn indirectly' because they are always having indirect conversations like this and it makes me insane, and I do still think that's the idea here, just not quite in the sense that Riku is making things up. Going back to the whole 'ghost is a stand-in for the audience' thing, and assuming that she's saying the things that Riku wants to say and Tenn is telling her the things he wants to tell Riku, then we could say that rather than Riku purposefully having the ghost speak for him, this is an extension of the monster effect. I guess in this scenario the TCG is a real ghost (and a figurative representation of the audience), and Riku is having the same effect on her that Iori says he has on everyone else. He unknowingly projects his desire to connect with his brother onto her, and she tries to help him. Really, the only times we see her after she follows the shopping group to their cabin are when she's helping Riku, with the test of courage and then with speaking to Tenn. This gets convoluted so I kinda doubt it's intentional? But it's fun to think about.
1.4: The TCG is the friends we made along the way
Riku spells this out a bit more explicitly in the game here, but the TCG represents the each of the groups in the series in a couple different ways. I guess one way you could interpret this is that the ghost is meant to be there to emphasise how extraordinary it is that they're all together, but I don't think that really holds up considering how often they end up working with each other throughout the series anyway. What's important here is the idea of the ghost itself, something that can be present and felt even when it isn't physically or actually there. Again, the ghost is the audience - a constant influence for better and for worse on these idols even when they aren't watching, even in their personal lives; and vice versa, the ghost is the idols being able to reach their fans without ever actually knowing them. More relevant to what Riku says, the ghost is the groups to each other - friends, mentors, rivals, pushing them forward even when they aren't standing side by side. You could even say the ghost is ZOOL, friends who aren't here right now but will be someday. Re:vale and Idolish7 as groups don't especially fit the ghost description, but they have their fair share of ghosts - Banri, Haruki, Tenn, Aya, Sougo's uncle. Zero. The list goes on, for Trigger and ZOOL as well, but I think the most important way the ghost analogy applies to this section of the story is with Trigger. Because during the imminent Arc Where Trigger Gets Cancelled™, despite leaving their agency and disappearing almost entirely from the public eye, they're still very much there to their fans and to their friends. So. I kinda forgot what I was saying but to sum it all up the ghost here represents everything that stays with you even when it's far away or after it's gone from your life. Mikanseinabokura and all that. And now that I mention it-
Section 2: The Re:vale House Ghost
Once again, a warning that this section has a brief mention of self-harm, as well as in-depth discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation (which I'm gonna be talking about pretty bluntly the entire time), so please don't proceed unless you're comfortable with all of that!
Like most things in Re:member, the RHG (Re:vale house ghost) makes me insane. Today I am going to attempt to form coherent thoughts about it and it is unlikely that I'll succeed, but try to bear with me. Though it isn't around for as long as the TCG, we have a little more info about the RHG - it's the ghost that haunts the shitty apartment Yuki and Momo live in together in their early days as Re:vale. Supposedly. All it actually does is slam the door of one kitchen cabinet and I don't think that this is definitive evidence of paranormal activity because most houses are just like that. It's all a little bit vague, but according to Re:vale, their house is definitely haunted by the ghost of someone who died in the kitchen, because when they move in there is a mysterious black stain on their kitchen floor. Momo introduces himself to the floor stain while Yuki stares at him in awe and blushes and shoujo filter flowers appear in his eyes. God I hate them. I think the RHG is just a figment of their collective imagination or maybe they're having one of those shared delusions or something. But that's really besides the point because this ghost exists for one very specific thematic purpose: the RHG is Yuki.
And on that note, let's go back and talk about Yuki for a few minutes (potentially hours) before we get to our actual analysis of the ghost scene. Mostly because I just wanna talk about him, but also because I do understand why some people think the 'Momo starts talking to ghosts' part of Re:member is kinda weird and random, and I think at least some of this is important to go over before we unpack it.
A consensus has already been established among Yuki scholars that our subject has autism (Kei et al. 2024). Today, I would like to propose an additional diagnosis: Yuki has depression.
2.1: "I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well."
So, Yuki pretty clearly gets depressed when Ban leaves him. He loses interest in everything he used to care about, gives up on his dreams, blames himself for Ban's injury and disappearance, he's constantly sad, tired and irritable, and he lashes out at Momo (and Kujou, though there are some other pretty strong reasons for that one) and presumably everyone else he knows (I doubt he had a particularly good relationship with anyone else in the first place, but still).
He's grieving here, and it would make sense for him to react this way because of that fact alone. But I really don't think that's all there is to it, because he exhibits these symptoms (among others) long before Ban leaves him. He can't get out of bed in the mornings, he rarely leaves the house if he can avoid it, he has days where he can't eat or sleep, he's underweight and always tired and generally known to lack energy and be slow (or 'lazy') and in some cases listless and despondent. Ban even says that he wouldn't put it past Yuki to start slitting his wrists. And it's subtle, but there's one more really big one that really never goes away for him, even after he finds Ban.
2.2: "I don't need anyone to love me."
I'll get straight to the point. Yuki hates himself. Maybe only a little bit, maybe only sometimes, but it's there. Especially when he struggles with composing - he even says it himself in part 1 of his birthday photobook rabbit chat, almost immediately after saying that it made him want to kill himself but we'll get back to that part.
But it's really everywhere on what seems to be a mostly subconscious level for him, if you know how to look, even from the very beginning:
On paper, this line is just his frustration with being judged by anything other than his music, because it's something he cares a lot about and puts a lot of work into and he wants that to be acknowledged. But I think that if you take it in conjunction with some of the other things he tends to say, there's a little bit more to it.
I dont need anyone to love me. Yuki's songs are worthy of love. Yuki is not. There is nothing valuable about Yuki other than his songs, he has nothing else that deserves any sort of praise, and without them, he's just a useless burden with nothing to offer. He doesn't need anyone to love him - he doesn't understand why anyone would. And Momo does, and he's a good person, and Yuki doesn't deserve that when there's nothing he can actually do for him. And when that starts to change and he starts getting better at showing kindness to others and being there for Momo, he doesn't see it as learning to better express his feelings, he sees is as learning to feel affection and be a good person, because he believes that he is inherently not. As far as he can tell, Yuki is just naturally a bad person and a bad partner who isn't kind and isn't capable of love or compassion, not unless he tries to be. He knows, because he's heard it god knows how many times - even Chiba Shizuo blatantly tells him that neither of them can become good people - and maybe things are different now, but on some basic level it'll always be who he is.
Ok breaking character for a second, imagine you show up to your acting side gig and on the first day Keanu Reeves comes up to you and gives you $300 cash and then later he indirectly tells you that you're a nasty lonely egotistical failure. Now imagine you're Yuki and you have no fucking clue who Keanu Reeves is. He also shows you pictures of his top secret illegitimate son after talking to you for like 10 minutes and you have to lie to him about being straight. I think this is objectively the funniest situation to be in ever. Chiba Shizuo and Yamato both probably have depression also, but I'm not gonna spend any time on it, because every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in Northern Queensland. I forgot what I was talking about. Anyway
2.3: Hey remember that one time Yuki just straight up tried to kill himself
Yeah, that one. As far as I know this is really never addressed or acknowledged again, so we're just gonna take the page-long gag from Re:member at face value and say that after Ban's disappearance, Yuki (almost) attempted suicide, and the only reason he didn't go through with it is because he couldn't find anywhere to hang the noose. And like, yeah you could say it's just because he thought Ban might have killed himself and he's always been the kind of hopeless romantic to be waxing poetic about how "I can't live without you," but at the same time, he had no apparent reason to believe this (even if Ban did have suicidal tendencies I doubt Yuki would've really known), and he was planning to go through with it (I know it's probably just for comedic effect but he left a will. He left a will. He's, like, 20, and surely not the kind of person who would just have something like that in order already). This is also emphatically not the last time or the only reason he thinks about it.
I told you we'd get back to the photobook chat! I think there's also a lot you can infer from all the times he says he'd probably be dead by now without Momo and he wouldn't be able to handle losing him, what with the whole "when you jump, you'd better take me with you" thing. But regardless, this really isn't just that one time that Yuki tried to kill himself. It's suicidal ideation, and it's something he consistently struggles with especially in the few months after Ban leaves him. It even comes up in how he sees the 'paranormal activity' his new apartment:
2.4: "It seemed as though someone had hung themselves there."
Yeah it's the ghost I'm finally gonna talk about the ghost. I'm done with my Yuki has depression rant we can talk about why the ghost is Yuki now. I guess it might be more accurate to say that the ghost is Yuki's depression/suicidal thoughts/Banri trauma/whatever, but either way I think it represents him and he might also be semi-consciously projecting onto it, and I'm gonna go through line-by-line and try to explain my interpretation.
I think if you want to there's definitely room to take the 'usual paranormal activity' super literally and say that Yuki was having outbursts and slamming doors at the time (which would also match up with him being startled by it). I think it's also important to note that this is happening around the time he mentions feeling suicidal and not being able to compose in the photobook chat, but the main thing here is that second line. Even though Momo is always so nice to him, he can't stop himself from getting mad and being difficult and depressed, and he can't return that kindness - he can't even be useful to him.
I've already mentioned how I think Yuki's conclusion about the stain here plays into his suicidal ideation, but let's look at it a little more thematically. It's the way that even though it's glossed over earlier in the manga, Yuki's suicide attempt and everything that accompanied it still follows him, and it hangs (lol) heavy in their house like a ghost. To Yuki, it's startling and eerie - it scares him, and he's expecting it to scare Momo once he sees that side of him too. And it probably does scare him a little, and he hesitates, but he doesn't scream. Again, there's room to interpret this more literally as Momo finding out about his attempt/ideation/depression, or just as him inevitably seeing how he gets on his worse days, but either way the outcome is the same. Momo is starting to know Yuki as a person instead of an idol, flaws and probable mental illness and all, and his first reaction isn't to shy away or start to hate him or want to leave. It's an introduction. He makes it clear that they'll both be staying here from now on, that he's willing to live with the 'darker' sides of Yuki, and to help him do the same. Another point on this that's up to interpretation (because let's be real they're probably never gonna deal with this stuff explicitly in canon), you could see the whole ghost thing as neither of them really being able/wanting to accept that Yuki's symptoms are actually a part of him (and this is veering completely into fanfic territory but now I'm just imagining both of them silently agreeing to blame the things Yuki does on bad days on the ghost) but we've had enough angst for one day.
Everything else lines up well enough with the ghost and Yuki, but it's really his reaction here that sells the whole thing for me. It's a simple gesture, but just by Momo greeting him, being by his side, waiting for him when he comes home, that constant reminder of all his darkest thoughts becomes just another mark on the floorboards. It's not gone, and it probably never will be. But at least now, he doesn't have to face it alone. And it doesn't look so scary anymore.
2.5: "Now I know joy, and the meaning of a smile."
I must confess that I lied to all of you earlier. I'm actually not done with my Yuki rant and also there's a good reason I've been ignoring all the parts of Re:member where he isn't being self-deprecating or trying to kill himself. The end of the ghost scene is only the beginning of the end of this analysis, and the end of this analysis is pretty much just me having a meltdown about Yuki. Also I'm running out of space for images so we're doing some of the quotes like this instead.
After losing Ban, I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well. I could only feel a sting as the wind passed through an empty, gaping hole in my chest. But I breathed as best as I could, and he tried to clear the dirt out of that hole, filling it with his earnest words instead.
Yuki still exhibits a lot of symptoms of depression all the way through the series, like the low energy and the trouble eating and sleeping, and [redacted part 5 spoilers] makes me think there's definitely some sort of connection between his writers' block and his depressive episodes. He still mentions feeling guilty towards Banri in second beat, the suicidal ideation doesn't really come up explicitly but he kinda hints at it on a few occassions, and he's very adament that he was a bad person and still isn't really a good one. But it's like. I don't really know how to put this, but I guess it's not his default state anymore like it was right after Ban left (and possibly before that, too). For the most part, he really does get better, and these things become less intense and fewer and farther between. He would probably say that it's all thanks to Momo, and it is, but he also very much does it of his own volition. Momo refuses so desperately to give up on him, and because of that he makes that choice to keep going by restarting Re:vale with him.
Yuki allows himself to let someone else in and start to love again - his partner, his music, his life. Even while he's thinking that he's just a burden to those around him, he doesn't resign himself to his fate like he might have done in the past. He's determined to become a better person, someone who can be a source of strength for Momo just like he was for him. And in the end, he does, but it's not just that. Now he knows joy. Now he can genuinely smile. And now,
I want to hear them scream my name. The voices that called out had annoyed me in the past. But now, I'll smile, together with Momo, who'll be by my side.
Going back to what I said about some of Yuki's subconscious self-hatred coming through in the way he wants people to look at his music and not at him, I. Cannot finish a sentence. Do NOT think about Yuki learning to love himself and see himself as worthy of love because Momo loved him just that much in a way that he could accept. BAD IDEA. Okay. So. It's Ban's advice and Momo's fan letter that get Yuki to accept that his fans do genuinely love his music in the first place, and I think it's here that it really starts to turn into him accepting the idea that they love other things about him too? Or that he really starts to want it and be happy about it instead of just accepting it? Whatever. I give up. I don't even like Re:vale anyway
That day, I would play the guitar I'd almost thrown at Kujou, because I now knew the power of a song that could not be silenced. I would dry my tears, open the door, and say, "I'm home."
#alabastxr.pdf#new tag just dropped#idolish7#orikasa yukito#yukito orikasa#not tagging the rest of them#i did not mean to write an entire yuki character analysis here. oops#writign this post killed me im gonna go think about mission now
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Win Or Lose - Chapter 3.
Pairing Travis Kelce x Reader
Words 1633
Warnings Angst, mentions of pregnancy and miscarriage.
This was a very detailed Anon request that I received and knew I had to give it a go! (I’ll not paste the whole request here as I usually do, as it was rather long but if you want to read it, it’s here. Be warned, it’s rather full of spoilers!)
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
"Ooh, I like this one!" You clicked on the beautiful white wooden crib, adorned with pale yellow sheets and blankets.
Travis leaned in closer to see the screen better, "That's dope, baby."
You raised an eyebrow, "Dope? You're describing this absolutely gorgeously crafted crib with smooth drop sides and form fitting mattress included as dope?"
Travis grinned and placed a hand on your small bump, "A dope-ass crib for a dope-ass baby."
You rolled your eyes and looked back to the screen, "Why can't we just go and look at these in the store? I think it would be better if saw all of this stuff in person."
"Baby, you know why. One click of a paparazzi camera and we're on the front page. I can just see it now." He lifted his hand in the air as he spoke, "Chiefs star tight end Travis Kelce and fine-ass wife spotted shopping for baby items. The whole world will know."
You continued to scroll, not looking at your husband, "Front page? You think that will be the breaking news story of the day?"
"You know what I mean, we need to wait a little longer. Just in case, you know?"
Resting your head onto the back of the couch, you looked towards Travis, "Yeah, I know. We're going to have to tell people soon, though." You rubbed your stomach, "I'm 14 weeks tomorrow."
Travis chewed his bottom lip, "How do you want to do it?"
"I mean, we could just post something on Instagram or something?"
You looked to your husband who was staring down at your bump, drawing circles with his finger, "Nah, I got a better idea. Why don't I say something at the press conference after the game on Sunday?"
You smiled, "You know what, that's not half bad! I like it!"
"I'll tell the guys and coach at practice today so that they have a heads up."
You stroked his cheek, "I love you so much, Mr Kelce."
"I love you to, Mrs Kelce."
You giggled, "It's been almost 3 years and I still get all giddy when I hear that."
He slid closer to you and kissed your lips gently, "That's what you are. My wife, my woman, my girl...Mrs Kelce." He took a deep breath, "And soon, we're going to have a little Kelce running around. And it's going to be so loved." He leaned his head down towards your bump, "You hear that little bean? You're so loved already."
You smiled, "That's another thing. We're going to have to start thinking about names."
"I like little bean!" Travis laughed.
You moved your laptop from your knee and turned to face Travis, "Okay, for a boy...Hunter?"
Travis nodded slowly, "Hunter? Hunter...I like it. Hunter Kelce."
"And if it's a girl...Sienna?"
"Sienna Kelce, that's gorgeous."
You jumped a little, "You like them?"
"I do, I really do. You mentioned the name Hunter once before and I liked it then, but Sienna is beautiful." Travis smiled.
"We'll be able to find out soon which it'll be."
Travis' eyes widened, "Really? Have you called the doctor?"
"Not yet, I was going to wait until after Sunday so that you'd be able to come with me."
Travis shook his head, "No, let's do it now, make the appointment. See if Dr Tomlin has any space tomorrow for us? I'm sure coach will let me dip out of practice early, for this especially."
"You sure?"
He kissed your forehead before laying a kiss on your bump, "Of course."
You watched as he rose from the couch, "Now, foot rub?"
______________________________________________________________
The doctors office smelled of disinfectant and the lights blinded your eyes. You blinked and noticed Travis pacing around the room.
"Will you stop? This is exactly like the bathroom when we took the test. You're making me nervous."
Travis jumped on the balls of his feet, attempting to shed some energy, "I can't help it baby. I'm just so excited."
The office door swung open and Dr Tomlin smiled at you both. He was middle-aged with greying hair, a rounded stomach and broad shoulders.
"Hello, both of you. Nice to see you." He smiled and checked his chart, "So, Mrs Kelce, you're at your second trimester now. How have you been doing?"
You shuffled on the bed, "Yeah, I've been okay, morning sickness hasn't been too bad which I'm pleased about."
Dr Tomlin nodded, "Excellent. Well, I have your results from the ultrasound. Would you like to know the gender of your baby."
You looked to Travis, who had his eyes locked on Dr Tomlin, his lips pursed together and head nodding quickly.
"Yes, please."
Dr Tomlin flipped over a page on his clipboard, "You're having a girl."
Your head whipped to face Travis who was frozen, breathing heavily.
"A girl?" His voice croaked.
"We're having a girl!" You shrieked, sitting up on the bed and opening your arms to Travis who immediately rushed over to you to embrace you.
"Congratulations, I'll leave you two alone." Dr Tomlin closed his clipboard and softly closed the door behind him.
You swung your legs around so they dangled off the edge of the bed. Staring up into Travis' eyes, you held onto his hands tightly. He dipped his head and pressed his lips to your small bump, lingering for a few seconds.
"Sienna Kelce, it's your Daddy here."
______________________________________________________________
Your eyes drifted open as the sound of keys jiggling in the lock rose you from your afternoon nap.
"Hey baby! Travis shouted from the front door.
Pulling the blanket up over your chest, you cleared your throat, "Hey!"
"So, coach is absolutely stoked for us, said he's going to get a gift basket sent to us from him and Tammy." Travis' excited voice grew louder as he made his way into the lounge, "And the guys went crazy when I told them. Honestly baby, you should have seen them, my back is killing me from all of the back slaps! Expect a lot of hugs on Sunday's game."
You giggled and stretched in your horizontal position, "That's amazing, baby."
He leaned down and kissed your forehead, "You had a good nap?"
You yawned loudly, "I did! I was just watching TV and the next thing I knew, I was asleep. You want some dinner?"
You started to lift yourself from the couch when Travis held his hand out, "No no, I got it. You keep resting. In two days, we're going to be announcing to everyone that we're bringing a little Kelce into the world, you're going to need your strength."
You shook your head and laid back down on the couch, "I'd better take advantage of all of this rest now while I can! Because in about 5 months, everything is going to change."
Travis placed his warm hands on your bump, moving his thumbs back and forth, "It's going to be so awesome."
You grinned and watched him disappear out of your vision. Craning your neck, you could just see him in the kitchen, examining the contents of the refrigerator. Your heart swelled as you watched his muscular arms grabbing items and setting them down on the counter top. You knew he was going to be a wonderful Father to your daughter; learning to braid her hair, playing with her dolls on the playroom floor, cheering for her at school sport's days and teaching her the rules of football. You imagined how she would look, wondering if she would get her Daddy's piercing eyes or his dark hair.
Suddenly, a short sharp pain shot to your lower stomach area. You gasped a breath and let out a groan, your hand darting to your bump. The pain repeated, but with a more intense sensation this time, causing you to roll over slightly and curve your back. You squeezed your eyes shut, holding your breath as you rode the pain out.
"You want some tea, baby? I got a nice lemon and ginger one at the store yesterday." Travis called out for the kitchen.
You tried to call his name, but the effort to form words was too much. Instead, your managed a guttural cry, causing Travis to rush to your side.
"Babe, what's wrong. Are you okay?" You heard Travis say through your darkened vision, "Look at me, baby, look at me."
You opened your tear-filled eyes to see Travis' concerned expression as he knelt down beside you, "Something hurts, it's really bad."
Travis' eyes glanced down to your bump under the blanket, "Come on, I'm taking you to the hospital." He kissed your forehead and stroked your hair, "It's going to be fine. Let's go, I'll get the keys."
You peeled the blanket back and hauled yourself up, stopping when Travis' face turned white, his eyes wide and his mouth agape.
"What?"
He swallowed hard and stared at the empty space on the couch where you once were. You turned your head to see a large area of the beige couch now marked with dark red. You grasped at your bump again, closing your eyes as you felt another stab of pain.
"No...no, please no." You croaked.
Travis' breathing became shaky as he held your face close to his, your foreheads connecting, "Baby, look at me. Come on, we need to go to the hospital. Please, let's get up." His shoulders began to tremble.
You blinked wildly as tears started to stream down your face, only halted by Travis' thumb running over your cheek. Using your hand, you pushed yourself up onto your feet and felt Travis' strong hands clinging onto you.
"I got you, baby. It's...it's going to be fine, say it."
You took a deep breath and tried to steady the quiver in your voice, "It's going to be fine."
______________________________________________________________
I found this chapter really hard to write. My heart goes out to anyone that has had to experience this and I cannot imagine what it must be like. I really hope I haven't offended or upset anyone with any incorrect details but I researched as much as I could so that this would be written in the most respectful way possible. If anyone wants to be on my Taglist for future writing so they don't miss another one, let me know!
Taglist @rd14 @dandelionwrites8 @keiva1000 @fantasywritersstuff @caelipartem @anacarangel @she-lives-in-her-dreams @kkrenae @kristencochefski1125 @countrygirl120983 @charmed2000 @nouis-bum @cixrosie @delicateearthquakellama @wordsaresimple-imnot @amylouwho9 @queenisa17 @talicat713 @luvvtrent @purecinnamonextract @savaneafricaine @caelipartem @beyxgrande @caitdaniels @ezgirl1108 @vir-tual @lightsoutstyles @macey234 @s294749w @kelcemesoftly @calirindo @livinginmyfantasies @bernelflo @secretmywritingfictionlawyer @killatravtramp
#travis kelce x reader#travis kelce imagine#kelce x reader#nfl imagine#original story#travis kelce fic#travis kelce#nfl fluff#travis kelce fluff#kelcemenow requests#travis kelce angst
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How to Build Resilience in Long Fanfic Writing
Sometimes, when a fanfic goes past 20 chapters, people who had been commenting, began to lose interest. Maybe you'll start doubting your skill or whether you "have what it takes" to be a writer, even if you're doing it for fun.
But maybe you see all those beautifully written but unfinished long fics and mourn that they'll never be finished (for the writer's valid reason or another). And you don't want that to happen to yours.
There is also an advantage to completing long fics: you develop the discipline to write original novels which can take far longer.
So if you're in for the long haul and you want to stay steady and true despite whatever popularity your fic may have, here's how to have the resilience to finish it to the end.
(Disclaimer: this is not a reason to stop commenting on fics)
#1 Whatever You Think You're Owed, Let It Go.
Accidentally quoting Elsa aside, I'm talking about comments. Comments validate and can make you learn new things about your fics through other people's eyes.
But when you see a high-to-low ratio between kudos and comments, you may feel like you are owed.
When you push yourself to complete three long chapters and publish them all in the same day and only get one response, it can feel like people are being mean.
The truth is, we'll never know why the people who loved our fics will not talk to you about them.
Maybe they forget there's a person behind the fic.
Maybe they're having a bad day and just want to shut down after reading something enjoyable.
But whatever the case is, it's beyond your control.
This post said it best (shoutout to @radioactive-earthshine) :
"Remember - hits/likes/kudos/comments are not reflective of the quality of your fic or your ability to write. Most people just don’t comment - even if they say they do, they don’t... Even if your fic brought tears to their eyes and it haunted them for weeks and they printed it out and sent it to their friends they just don’t comment. You just have to accept it.
I'm not saying you force yourself to let it go now. But someday, you will need to let it go, and control what you can which is you.
#2 Put Your Life First Before Your Readers
I have to say this because sometimes writers would have thoughts like "I haven't written for a long time; people must be wondering about it." Nope. Stop. Not worth it.
Creating is fun, but it is also exhausting. Add into the fact that most of us have 8-hour jobs or classes.
The reason you haven't written for a long time is that other aspects of your life deserve your time and energy, too. And after all that, you would be understandably tired.
So put your life first before your readers.
#3 Make Preparations to Replenish Your Soul
Long fanfic writing is energy and time-consuming. But you cannot depend on external validation to make up for it.
External validation in the form of comments can be good because we don't want to imagine it's all in our heads. But seeking it too much leads to what I've read in the book, "Ego is the Enemy":
"If outside validation is your only source of nourishment, you will hunger for the rest of your life."
So before posting a chapter, list down what you can do to replenish your soul after. Treating myself to a cafe one time helped. So is taking walks when the air is cool.
To stop anticipating responses too much, what works for me is to post on Wednesday. Wednesday is when people are less busy. At the same time, when the weekend comes, I don't obsess over it so much and can focus on other aspects of my life or replenish my energy for the next week.
In the commitment to complete a long fic, it's important to be honest with yourself. This is to be transparent with your needs and watch out for any signs of burnout, like feeling sad and tired. If you need to walk away from your fic for a while, then do it.
#3 This is Between You and Your Creation
Yes, fandom should be two-way street. Yes, fandom shouldn't treat fanfics and fan arts like commodity. And yes, there should be interaction and engagement. But before all that, there is this thing between you and your creation first and foremost.
Just as a story has to have a "why", remember why you thought you should write your long fic. Your reason may change over time, but when you remember your "why", you remember your true goal to keep going.
#4 Write like No One is Reading
This is a perk I adapted when I only get two responses if I'm lucky after updating a fic that has more than a hundred subscribers. If people barely react, then you're free to write whatever you please in your story as if you're dancing like no one is watching. Just have fun improving your skills.
This is similar to an inspiring section of the same post that I've found:
"10.) Write for yourself, not for others. Write the fic you know no one is going to read. Write the fic that sounds ridiculous. You will be so happy you put it out in the world and there will be people who will be glad it exists."
#5 Cherish the Rare Friends You Find Along the Way
Sometimes, we get lucky and get something better than a hundred people interacting with our fic -we find a friend we would make in the way of writing the long fic that we dared to write. And they're the ones who would cheer you on and cry and laugh with you about the shared stories. Cherish them.
(dedicated to @lightreader1)
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[chapter three] the secret history of anakin skywalker
common ground
pairing : assasin! reader x anakin skywalker
word count : 2.1k
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sypnosis
you have only known one truth about this war, the republic and the seperatists are two sides of the same coin. but now, your master count dooku has disposed of you after your consequent failures. his betrayal fueled your thirst for revenge. and in the cruel twist of fate, you have found yourself with an arrangement with the enemy. general anakin skywalker is willing to do what it takes for the republic to win, even if it meant dealing with you, his nemesis.
chapter summary
a clue tipped by the jedi council leads anakin skywalker back to your cell. now his anger has passed, he wants to clarify the terms of your new alliance.
on the way to nal hutta, anakin skywalker steers the conversation to his fascination over your beliefs— which legitimizes the doubts he's been having about the republic.
warnings : involves spoilers for star wars 'the clone wars' episodes 15-16. i also used some lines from 'tales of the jedi' episodes 3-4, so spoiler warning too?
notes : hi doves! i'm going to try to update every week on wednesdays pst 😄 a lot of talking for this chap but we'll be back to more action on the next one i promise !
likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated!
"Remind me again how the Jedi Council tracked Hardeen so quickly?" You asked.
The sniper had been identified. Rako Hardeen. You recalled the name as a bounty hunter Count Dooku had commissioned before.
"I don't know," Anakin Skywalker answers, too casually to have been a lie.
You sigh, realizing that you'll have to trust the Jedi Council's clue, despite your doubts.
Like Skywalker had promised, he appeared in your cell the moment he got a lead.
When he entered— you couldn't help but brace yourself, half-anticipating the voracious Jedi to come swing a lightsaber again. It's hard to shake the feeling entirely when only yesterday, he was so latched with a rage that almost killed you. Even Skywalker acknowledges your reaction. You caught him looking at your hands— as if he was checking if it trembled. Like he was expecting you to be scared.
But in the light, he no longer looked as... volatile. No trace of the unstable warrior, or the angered boy. You allowed yourself to breathe evenly.
You'd never forget what he was, what he's capable of. What he'd been trained to do—what he almost did.
But at this moment, he was... fine.
You tugged your hair back, tying it away from your face. If you were to head at Hardeen, who managed to kill a Jedi, you'd have to assume the role of your reputation, the assassin.
"Nal Hutta, that's where they say he is" Skywalker briefs you.
You nod in comprehension, tucking your hands in your pockets, feeling awkwardly empty without a weapon. You wished you had your satchel, everything you'd need would be neatly prepared in there.
You turn to face the jedi— giving him a long look, wondering whether it would be worth the effort to ask for your saber back.
It would be stupid to go to a fight with nothing.
"If you want to find a low life, you'll have to start at a saloon," You began as casually as you could. "Unfortunately, Nal Hutta isn't really fond of me." You said with a deliberate slowness, just in case he hadn't caught what you were hinting at.
Skywalker crosses his arm— you prayed to every God for a small mercy.
But then he spoke "Lucky for both of us, you're a master at escaping," with his lips curling to the side.
"Though I admire the attempt"
You let out a sigh. "You have to give me a chance to defend myself."
Skywalker's playful grin melts, and your heart thuds, your thoughts reduced to a list of words; dangerous, unstable, full of rage. There was no reasoning as to why the fear persists.
He looks down like he'd find the words on the ground.
"About that," He begins. You recognize the expression on his face as a semblance of shame, or regret, perhaps.
"I'm not going to hurt you." His eyes became intent on yours "So stop looking at me like that," He exhales.
His words made you flinch, you glance awkwardly behind him, unsure what to say.
Skywalker seems to see your reluctance and his jaw clenches. "I was wrong to accuse you, I don't know what came over me, it was like all that anger..." He drifts off.
Your eyes narrow at his hesitation. Maybe he's still not acknowledging the rage he displayed. Maybe he thinks denying it would not bring it to life.
"I overstepped, I won't do that to you again."
He moves towards you— determined to commit to this informal apology. His blue eyes continue to study you, waiting expectantly. You could almost feel his gaze on your skin.
"Alright," you answered.
You wondered if it had been the right thing to say. You could push away your anxieties, for now. Utilizing Anakin Skywalker would prove to be a larger advantage than trying to pursue your revenge alone. Besides, he's already doing this alone. Away from the Jedi Council and the Republic's righteousness.
You pondered on his moral code— you definitely have never seen any Jedi exhibit such greyness. But perhaps your old Master was right when he taught you that you can get any man to do anything— if you convince them it is moral.
You could almost laugh at the irony. You and him were the same— in that manner. Driven by the need for justice.
You for yourself, and he for his fallen Master.
Though the thought of being in the same room as him will always make you uneasy, you'll have to adapt.
Skywalker's gaze softens. "I realize we have to set some terms if we were to work together."
"I'm surprised you thought as much," You couldn't stop the retort from escaping your lips. "My freedom. I told you I want a full pardon"
Skywalker leans his back to the wall behind him.
"But since, apparently, I'm not in Jedi or Republic custody, that is no longer a possibility," You proceeded.
"Clever," He remarks "But not to worry, Wraith, I can take you out. Besides, to their eyes, you're still on the run."
You raised an eyebrow, not quite following what he had planned.
"If somehow, I had found you and theoretically killed you, they'd be off your tail." He says cajolingly.
"That's your brilliant plan?" Your voice raised in disbelief.
"Tentative." He defends, pursing his lips. "Of course, I could still choose to turn you in if things go south."
You sigh. A full pardon will grant you peace outside the war. A fake death is not secure. But then again, you can't just... try to appear as some twisted hero willing to aid the Jedi to atone for all you've committed. It doesn't equate...
"Right,"
"You don't trust me, that's the smartest thing you've done yet, seeing you rarely reason" You didn't back down from spiting.
"But, you'll have to trust my decisions, even when you don't trust me." You named your term.
You waited for him to react, but he only nodded.
"And Dooku. You'll leave him to me" You stated finally.
Anakin Skywalker studies you. You curse the Maker for enabling him to access the force, for allowing him to know the grief that was fuelling you.
Then the silence hung, too prolonged— too tense.
"Now will that be all or should I take a pen to write your long list of demands?" He says light heartedly.
Looking up, you forced a smile. "My weapon would be nice,"
Skywalker smirks "Absolutely not."
A ship waited for the both of you in the hangar.
You tugged on the robe Skywalker gave you to conceal your face. Skywalker did not bother to find one your size, you recognized from the color that it might have been one of his, so the robe hung past your knees and just above your ankles. You can't find the point to complain, as long as it does its job.
The hatch opens and you step inside, the Jedi following closely behind you. Skywalker sits down by the cockpit, starting up the engines. Soon, the ship exits Coruscant's atmosphere and jumps into hyperspace. You sat down to the seat next to him, Nal Hutta is in the outer rim territories, it would take some time.
You could feel Skywalker studying you. He didn't really take shame in staring.
You tried to brush it off, but when you can no longer stand it, you speak up "Something in your mind, Skywalker?"
His lips curl to the side, as if he was amused by how he was irking you. He leans his back against his chair, facing you.
"No, I was only wondering why exactly you aren't welcome in Nal Hutta,"
"It's a long story." You answer.
"It's a long flight, delight me"
You blink, an idea of wanting to jump in outer space instead of enduring his intense gaze crossing your mind. Not satiating his curiosity would just mean he'd keep finding other ways to annoy you.
"It's Huttese territory. Dooku thought assigning bounty hunters is below him, so he sent me to find them. Because the credits are high, they'll compete." That much you could say.
Skywalker tilts his head, "Then what, you didn't meet your end of the deal?"
"No," Your eyebrow raised at his presumption. "I needed to hire who's most competent and I had to filter out the... excess. Think they took it personally."
He huffs a laugh. "Right,"
The silence hung, Skywalker's gaze falls to the interwoven stars zooming past as the ship travels through space.
"It doesn't make sense that Count Dooku would want to kill Obi-Wan. I always thought he somehow had some reservation for Master Qui Gon's Padawan," He ponders.
"Why the sudden need to go so far?" His eyes were painted grief.
You pursed your lips, unsure whether it'll console him to know Dooku is just plain heartless. It felt like it would only add to his anguish.
"My master—" You pause.
"—old Master," You clarified. "does not like appearing weak after a loss, so he'd counter attack to fiend strength."
"So, he really has abandoned you then?" His eyes narrow in focus, registering what you said, perhaps thinking you were the 'loss' Dooku suffered.
"Umbara was a crucial supply route. Millions will go into famine. If he wants the Confederacy to believe in him still, he'd have to find a way to keep their faith." You answered, the images of the fallen city plaguing your mind.
"And his solution is to kill a Jedi?" Skywalker's voice was covered in spite. "I don't understand why you'd want to follow him."
You swallowed, "I fought for the Alliance. Not for Dooku,"
Skywalker shifts in his seat, eyes intent on you. He was so close you could make out the two new scars by the end of his chin. "And what, now you want to appear as some twisted hero by killing your master? Won't that just guarantee the Seperatists will fall?"
His words stung. Your shoulders tense and your fingers grip the insides of your robe.
"You're a soldier, I wish I had your simplistic view," You retorted. "Why do you think so many systems allied themselves with the Confederacy of Independent Systems?" You deflected.
Skywalker does not answer.
"These systems, most of them are not developed enough to have a government. So they do not have someone representing them in the Senate, and when they do, these Senators live lavishly in the Coruscant, corrupting their planets of its resources." You lead on.
"Besides, the Republic only caters for the systems who can afford to have a government. The very reason the movement was even born is because they hoped to reestablish a system that would care for all. That would serve the people of the Republic not the Senate and its senators."
Skywalker's jaw clenches. "Waging a war will not solve the problem."
"Yeah?" You challenged his view, "And I suppose we can trust the Senate to hear us above their own interests?"
Recognizing the subtle manifestation of his doubt, you pressed on "The corruption in the Senate fails the ideals of the Republic it represents, I'm sure you've taken notice" Your eyes dared him to contradict you, but he looks down.
"And the Alliance will find a way to have someone else lead, it'd be best to, Dooku's strategies are not really helping in communicating the reason for our resistance."
You lean back on your seat, taking a moment to breathe more slowly. You fought for the Alliance, it was something you once believed in.
Maybe, he really thought it was just plain black and white before.
"I still don't think leading with violence is the answer" He makes up his resolve.
You sigh. It would be hard to make a person who grew up sheltered with Jedi ideologies to understand.
It would be easier to accept that the 'Seperatists' Alliance is purely wrought out of wanting to usurp the current Republic, that it is inherently evil. The truth of it being a united movement of people hoping to find salvation from famine, slavery, and death is unsettling. You don't expect Anakin Skywalker to understand; the Maker granted him an excess of obliviousness you wished to have.
"This is a war." You answered plainly, not denying your side's faults.
"Yeah, no kidding."
The board lights up, indicating you were nearing Nal Hutta. Skywalker presses on the controls to take the ship out of hyperspace and soon after, you land on the planet.
Your mind went over Skywalker's hesitance. Perhaps, he wasn't so blind to completely dismiss the Senate's corruption. At least, his sense of justice isn't entirely based on the Republic.
You don't intend to enforce your beliefs to him, only to make him admit to the truth of the hypocrisy of the 'good side' he was fighting for.
And this exchange resonated that he is not entirely closed off to the idea of it.
He's not impersuadable. And for that, you'll go with him.
taglist : @etheriaaly @nyaaaaa008
let me know if you want to be added to the taglist and be notified when the next chap comes out 🫶
© to @cafekitsune for the borders!
#tshoas#anakin skywalker#star wars#sw#anakin x reader#anakin x you#star wars anakin#anakin#anakin fanfiction#anakin skywalker fanfiction#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin skywalker fic#anakin angst#sw anakin#anakin star wars#graciella's
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Trying to get out my full battery of Pristine Cut theories I think are at least pretty realistic (some mine, some not—I don't recall where the ones that aren't mine came from)
(Bold text is edits from shortly after the initial post)
—Fury, Den, and Apotheosis will get significant expansions (pretty sure this one has been implicitly stated by the devs if not explicitly so) —Prisoner, Damsel, and Spectre will all get a unique Chapter III to finish the symmetry of the game —All of the expanded Chapter IIIs will end up with both more options/resolutions and more fleshing out to some of the existing options (feels a given, but I'm trying to be comprehensive here)
FURY —Adversary->Fury will come with even more Voices (Smitten and possibly Cheated would be my guesses) —The "unwinding" sequence will be longer and have more variation/options than the single line we have now —Something surreal is going to happen to the Fury as she unwinds us (based on that one art shared by the devs)
DEN —Expanded "failure" sequences—at the very least choosing the option that wasn't in your plan will be as fleshed out as EotN's "failure" and at most you might get a chance to turn things around —A "freeze" option to bring the whole set forward from the Beast into the Den —This one's more hope than theory but it'd be nice if you got the option to spare the Den if you're on the "fight" path. It'd also be nice if there were more of a sequence to freeing the Den on the "flight" path, but of the two the former seems more likely.
APOTHEOSIS —I'm not sure what to say about this one aside from "your choices have tangible meaning now" —It'd be neat if the Tower chapter got a little more meat that led to multiple ways to reach Apotheosis and thus multiple Voices you could gain from that chapter, but it doesn't seem too likely
PRISONER —Complete the set with Beast and Adversary by having a Chapter III that can be reached with both Stubborn and Hunted, with different storylines depending on which Voice you get —The Prisoner gets to kill you (and how you approach this determines which Voice you get) —I kind of want to see this chapter get brought into the "the blade gives you more options" fold by allowing you the chance to refuse to take the blade, thus locking you onto either chaining yourself up or one variant of the new Chapter III —We're finally going to get a concrete justification for why the Prisoner, despite being one of the more cooperative Princesses, has the same font as the more inhuman/combative Princesses
DAMSEL —I think we're generally in agreement that the "up the stairs" image is probably for the new Chapter III —General consensus also seems to be that either we tell the Damsel to kill us or we insist on staying in the cabin with her forever —I personally favor the former theory since it would explain how we die (to move on to Chapter III) and it would add to the "taking the blade gives you more options" theme —We'll finally get another Chapter III that uses the font shared by the more gentle/human Princesses —Likely Voice candidates for the new chapter would be Contrarian or possibly Skeptic (Contra seems more likely, but I'm keeping an open mind)
SPECTRE —Possibility that the new Chapter III will only be accessible with the blade, though I can't imagine what it would be in that case —Notable that this is the only Chapter II called out by the devs... we might be seeing a significant expansion leading up to the new chapter, or even leading up to another Chapter II resolution —Perhaps there's a change in the sequence after you decide to refuse the Spectre's possession without slaying her or leaving the basement? —My best guess right now as to the lead-in would be that the new chapter stems from slaying yourself while possessed (unlikely since it's already a Chapter II resolution—would lead to gaining either Stubborn or Contrarian) (or Opportunist?) —I'm going back and forth about whether the new chapter might come from choosing to stay in the basement instead of leaving or trying to slay the Princess—I actually wrote and deleted it when initially posting—this would maybe result in Paranoid, Smitten, or Contrarian? —Most likely I think there'll be an entirely new section of the chapter that leads into the new Chapter III —To be honest the one thing I really hope is that somehow Broken shows up—this is the one pairing I really wanted to see since discovering you could mix and match the Voices in Chapter III —Maybe there'll be the possibility that you fail to escape the cabin while possessed? —Somewhere there will be an achievement called The Exorcist II (to go with The Exorcist and The Exorcist III)
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🌊TUNA-TOBER🌊 PROMPT CHALLENGE 2024 🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟��🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟
Hello friends! So last month I realized that one of the reasons I'm struggling to get my writing back up to my old speed is I am seriously out of practice since Dec/Jan when shit went down and I stopped writing for a while. After some thought, I decided I was gonna set up a little prompt challenge for myself, just a general, 'here's a prompt a day' thing for about a month. And I tossed this idea out onto my fave Daredevil discord server to see if anyone would want to join. And I'm happy to say there were takers, including some of my favorite writers in the fandom! So I've set up a delicious prompt challenge for all of us, and for anyone else who wants to take part.
For each day in October, there are three prompts: an 🌧️angst/whump prompt🌧️, a 🌻fluff prompt🌻, and a 🔥kink prompt🔥. Participants are free to choose which one of the prompts they want to write or make art of, or they can try to incorporate two, or even all three prompts into a single fic or art piece. They can write a short fic/make art every day, or just on whichever days they feel like (personally I'm going to shoot for one fic a day, but we'll see), or even incorporate those prompts into the chapters of longer fics. There are also four 'backup' prompt options for each category in case anyone hits a day or prompt where they aren't really feeling what's available on the chosen day. If any of these prompts inspire you, you can feel free to take on the Tuna-Tober challenge even if you're not in the server! This challenge is also not fandom-specific (although I have a feeling I'm mostly gonna write Charlie Cox characters, a surprise to precisely zero people, but again, we'll see).
Sometime this week, I'll be setting up a sideblog specifically for Tuna-Tober. That sideblog blog will reblog any Tuna-Tober fics/art or link to those fics that are posted on Ao3 so they'll all be easy to find. That blog will also have instructions for how to tag your Tuna-Tober fics and/or art pieces. If you'd like to be notified when that sideblog is up so you can follow it, let me know in the comments.
Without further ado: our Tuna-Tober prompts!
🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟
Day 1: Falling Asleep In A Hospital Room ⚜ Reading To Each Other ⚜ Somnophilia
Day 2: “Why? Why do you love me?” ⚜ Flower Crowns ⚜ Mutual Masturbation
Day 3: Broken ⚜ “I feel real when i’m with you.” ⚜ Role Reversal
Day 4: “This isn’t you.” ⚜ “Are you blushing?” ⚜ Sixty-Nine
Day 5: Self-Loathing ⚜ Watergun Fight ⚜ Begging
Day 6: "Shh, I've got you now. I'm here." ⚜ Love Bites ⚜ “Spread your legs for me.”
Day 7: Nightmare ⚜ Honest Apology ⚜ Nothing Underneath
Day 8: Shaking ⚜ “You can sleep here tonight.” ⚜ Overstimulation
Day 9: Anxiety ⚜ “You don’t need to do that.” “I want to.” ⚜ “Open your mouth.”
Day 10: "I'm not good enough." ⚜ A Hug That Lasts A Little Too Long ⚜ Strap-on/Pegging
Day 11: Tears ⚜ “I’d be lost without you.” ⚜ Breast Worship
Day 12: "I did it for you.” ⚜ “You remembered?” ⚜ Deep-Throating
Day 13: Loneliness ⚜ Playful Kiss ⚜ “Beg me for it.”
Day 14: "Please look at me." ⚜ Sleep Talking ⚜ Accidental Stimulation
Day 15: Hiding An Injury ⚜ “Are you jealous?” ⚜ Threesome
Day 16: Exhaustion ⚜ Accidental Kiss ⚜ Against A Window
Day 17: "I'm not leaving you." ⚜ Tickling ⚜ “Touch yourself for me.”
Day 18: Scars ⚜ Pillow Fort ⚜ “I’m so proud of you, you’re taking me so well.”
Day 19: Touch starved ⚜ “I’ll always be there for you.” ⚜ Gags
Day 20: "Who did this to you?" ⚜ There Was Only One Bed ⚜ “You were made for me, weren’t you?”
Day 21: Fainting/Collapsing ⚜ Flustered ⚜ “Was that an order?”
Day 22: "You haven't done anything wrong." ⚜ Breathless Kiss ⚜ Aphrodisiacs
Day 23: Father ⚜ “If you won’t take care of yourself, I will.” ⚜ Toys
Day 24: Drugged ⚜ Drunken Confession ⚜ “Shh, do you want them to hear us?”
Day 25: "What's Wrong?" ⚜ Playing With Their Hair ⚜ “Did I say you could do that?”
Day 26: "You're not fine." ⚜ “Shut up and kiss me.” ⚜ Under The Desk
Day 27: Near Death Experience ⚜ Overheard Confession ⚜ “Let me see what that pretty mouth can do.”
Day 28: Chronic Pain ⚜ Sharing An Umbrella ⚜ Hair Pulling
Day 29: "Talk to me, please." ⚜ Forehead Kiss ⚜ Restraints
Day 30: Healing ⚜ Road Trip ⚜ “Take it off. Slowly.”
Day 31: "Why wasn't I enough?" ⚜ Blanket Hog ⚜ Stockings/Thigh Highs
🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟
🌊Tuna-Tober🌊 Backup Prompts:
Bound/Chained ⚜ Moving In Together ⚜ Almost Getting Caught
"Take me instead." ⚜ “I’m in love with you, and that scares me.” ⚜ High Heels
Insomnia ⚜ Adopting A Pet ⚜ Scent Marking
"You're not alone." ⚜ Playing A Game Together ⚜ Ass Worship
🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟
#Tuna-Tober Prompt Challenge 2024#Tuna-Tober#Prompt List#Promptober#I am going to have FUN WITH THIS#and i think the other writers and artists will too!#i really do just need a prompt sprint to kinda get my brain back in gear and i've had luck with this in the past#fic#fanfic#also knowing me it'll mostly be charlie cox characters but we'll see who else pops up#spawned because i always struggle choosing between kinktober and flufftober and whumptober#like what if i want a chance to do all of those in one month#although now my hardest part of the challenge might be choosing which to do when i like ALL the prompts of the day#but they don't all work in a single drabble fic#WHO KNOWS. LET'S DO THIS. I AM READY FOR OCTOBER
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Initial thoughts on BSD 114
Boy, that leak pretty much gave the whole chapter away.
This chapter was rather disappointingly short, I must say. I'm not mad or anything, but I think this should've been labeled 113.5 TBH.
We did learn one valuable piece of information though: when Fyodor dies and resurrects, it does affect a different person.
Presumably, it swaps out Fyodor's death for the other person's death, but...*
Is the substitute the person who technically killed him? If so, who's supposed to die in the case of the helicopter crash?**
Obviously, it's not Dazai; he didn't cause the helicopter to crash, and he's still been alive and well for sometime after Fyodor's fake-out death, and, oh yeah...No Longer Human.
So does that mean the substitute for Fyodor's death is...Bram, for controlling the vampire that crashed the helicopter? Seems like that would be a bit of a waste of Bram's character, but maybe not, since the vampire epidemic story line is wrapping up.
Maybe this is Fyodor's revenge against Bram, for, you know, executing him in the past.
Then again, the substitute could be Ranpo, as horrifying as that thought is, since Ranpo negotiated for Bram's help. But we still need Ranpo for the plot, so probably not.
**ALTERNATIVELY, the substitute could be whoever touches his body/blood after his death. And there's only one person (other than Dazai, who can't be affected by Abilities) who touched the body after Fyodor's fake-out death: Nikolai.
Nikolai, who is coincidentally not present at Meursault anymore...
Now THAT would be some bitter irony for Nikolai, wouldn't it?
*As for the mechanism to make the swap, maybe Fyodor's soul/mind inhabits someone else's body and transforms them into his appearance, which is actually kinda horrifying, so I almost hope that's the case???
That would maybe mean, when his current body dies, it reverts to whoever it looked like before. Which is why it appears to be some rando in the helicopter.
If that IS true, does that mean a known character, the one technically responsible for Fyodor's death, is about to fucking morph into Fyodor? Because that would be freaky as fuck and also really throw a wrench into the whole conclusion of the airport fight. Imagine if Fyodor just pops the fuck up at the airport right as everybody thinks it's over...
(Possibly even better: Imagine Fyodor wearing Nikolai's clothes!!!)
I have a feeling we'll be jumping back to the airport next time (AT LAST). It makes narrative sense to jump back over there after Fyodor's revelation to see what the fallout of the twist is on everybody else.
Also, there's really nothing left for Chuuya and Dazai to do at Meursault, except leave. It wouldn't really make much sense is Fyodor reappeared at the prison.
Anyway...speculation is fun. I hope we get a longer chapter in May. I NEED ANSWERS.
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Femme Like You - Chapter 2
Chapter 1
Summary: You are the new tour manager for Arctic Monkeys during The Car era. You are practically the only girl in the team, also younger than the rest (27 y.o.), so your skills are immediately called into question. In particular, by the frontman who is not used to being led by a woman.
Word count: 10,2k
Warnings: swearing, emotional swing (is it even a warning?), kind of voyeurism (slight), age gap
A/N: Dear friends, hi!! I know, I know that I've promised you to update the fic every 3 weeks, and the disappeared for 1.5 months, but I spontaneously found a job, so there was very little time. But the chapter is much longer and with some interesting collaborations ;) I'll hope you enjoy them!
And write down what do you think if I make a description of not only the whole work, but also the chapter before each new part? Or is it better to keep the intrigue till the end?
In any case, I look forward to your feedback, it's soooo much important for me. I won't promise to return before the end of September, but I'll do my best not to delay. I already have an interesting plot for the next chapters, you should like it💔
*guys, English isn't my first language so if I have (and I know I have lol) any grammar/logic mistakes don't hesitate to tell me :)
The first week after meeting with the group flew by unnoticed. You dealt with the documentation, understanding how necessary it is, no matter how much you hated it, phoned the representatives of Ashton Gate stadium, made sure that everything was okay and confirmed the presence of the group and even tried to check the weather since the gig would be held outside. However, it turned out to be a little more difficult with the transport company. Apparently, James forgot to warn them about the temporary removal of his duties, so you had to spend time clarifying the situation and explaining who you are. It seemed that your hands-on approach was excessive, because you were trying to control everything in one time, but only due to the feeling of extra responsibility.
Steven, as promised, sent the contacts of the guys and important people from the technical crew, so now your phone had the names of Jamie Cook, Nick O'Malley, Matthew Helders and Alex "dickhead" Turner among others. 19 years old you would definitely envy yourself. So when you got a message while cooking pasta for dinner on Saturday night, you already knew it was from the drummer and not from an anonymous online scammer.
Matthew Helders: "good evening, Miss Y/S! I hope you aren't busy. We'll wait you on the soundcheck on Monday at 2 pm in Domino, need your advice :)"
You almost overcooked Carbonara bacon rereading the message. "Do they really need my advice?" you whispered, furrowing your brows "About what?". But the only answer was:
You: "Sure! Do I need to take some 12% cider?"
Matthew Helders: "you better not show up without a package lol"
Immediately followed by:
Matthew Helders: "just kidding! We are waiting only for you, but in the company of cider it will be even better)"
You chuckled, surprised at how quickly Matt went from formal Miss at the beginning of the conversation to smiles and lols at the end. To tell the truth, you still didn't fully understand how to behave with them. On the one hand, you are their manager and have a certain influence, as well as subordination. Steven and James don't have it, although they are "higher" in position, but they've been friends for half of a life, and you are a completely new person. On the other hand, in this area there is no place for strict formalities, especially since the guys don't look like those who would comply with them. After all they were big kids no matter how mature and pretentious they could look on stage, and you clearly felt it. Maybe your company will help them to relax even more, so there won't be any awkwardness and you will naturally find an edge where all of you will feel comfortable and which no one will cross.
With those thoughts, Carbonara and Rosé you spent your Saturday night watching your favorite series "La Piovra". You got used to such calm and quiet evenings. The era of parties until the morning has passed in the university years, and it’s not that you don’t go to clubs now, it’s just that the older you become the better you began to appreciate moments of silence. Not to be bored alone with yourself is the most valuable skill that you have acquired in your life. Having lived first with your parents for a long time, then getting married early at the age of 20 and having lived with your husband for 3 years, you were essentially not left alone with yourself. Having discovered over time that you feel absolutely nothing for the person whom you said "yes" to in the registry office, you were horrified and frightened to say at least. You thought that you get married once for a lifetime, but it turned out that happy endings exist only in fairy tales. That period of despondency, depression and eventual deepening into work gave its results. Major labels began to notice you, inviting you to musical projects with famous bands such as Maneskin. You worked with them for 1.5 years, leaving after their heyday at the Eurovision, realizing that you can’t give them more. That was your second decision to leave, but unlike the divorce, it didn't bring you much suffering. You understood that you and the group gave each other a lot, and although the parting was bitter, everyone understood that it was necessary. You still remained friends with the guys and periodically wrote off to meet. You planned to go to their concert, but couldn't find the time. And after your assignment to the Monkeys it became even more harder to shedule.
After the divorce you didn't have a serious relationship, instead you had a dream job, money, a car, a country house and even a corgi Grapes. You weren't afraid of the future, loved the time in seclusion and found inner peace by meditating on the production of cider, which was your unusual but very tasty hobby. Were you fully happy, though? Wouldn't you like to cross the threshold of the house and be met not by a dog's barking, but by a warm kiss on the forehead and a quiet "how was your day"? You probably wanted to, but it was hard to admit, especially considering that the fear of intimacy sat somewhere deep inside, not letting you forget the disappointment that you experienced when you removed the engagement ring from your finger. Although you remained friends who didn't hold evil against each other, the bitterness of your marriage was almost impossible to remove from the memories.
But for now, your head has been occupied by the sudden question of where to put Grapes for the duration of the tour...
Monday morning was sunny and peaceful, you woke up in a surprisingly good mood, put on your make-up, put on your favorite lime flared jeans, loaded a case of apple drink from the basemеnt into the car, patted Grapes and drove off to the studio. The road took about an hour, so during this time you managed to phone your father. You haven't talked much lately due to your workload, and now was almost the only time of the day when you were relatively free. You put the speaker phone mode, listening to the slightly hoarse voice of the man, without being distracted from the road.
"Hello my dear! How are you?"
"Hi daddy, I'm fine, going to work right now"
"My busy bee, James has already told me about your progress" you could hear him chuckle, coughing a little. You could only guess what Ford said to your father, because you spoke to him only once in these 2 weeks, when you recalled him after meeting with the group. And not that your story was very colorful. Therefore, the guys or Steven contacted him, and from this point of view, you couldn't imagine what they possibly come up with towards you.
"He assured me the boys liked you"
"Oh, really?" you said on the exhale, squeezing your hands on the steering wheel tightly.
"Yes, James is pleased with you. Well done, babe!" you melted under his words. It felt like you were a little girl again who drew a family picture that was hung on the refrigerator, even though mom and dad looked like monsters.
"Thank you daddy, I'm very happy to be with them actually"
"Of course, in such a company of men. Should I be jealous? 'Cause I looked through their photos on the Internet" dad said proudly, to which you burst out laughing, stopping at a traffic light.
"Dad, c'mon, no! They're too old for me" you laughed.
"10 years are not a big deal. Anyway, your choice. Just don't forget to eat please, I know how tough you work now. Otherwise you'll get drunk on your cider. God, how did you even manage to get into this alcohol sphere..." the man groaned in prostration. You rolled your eyes, but still smiled without answering. You got used to your father's fast flow of different thoughts.
"And don't roll your eyes, little naughty one! I care about you. So if they hurt you, you know who to call, right?"
"Oi, who will offend whom first" you retorted defiantly.
"Okay okay, I won't interrupt anymore. Kiss Grapes for me. I love you"
"And I love you very much, hello mom"
"I'll pass it on, bye!"
You turned off the call, fully focusing on the road. After talking with your parents, you always felt warm in your soul, so up to the studio you didn't leave a smile when you sang songs from the radio under your breath.
You arrived exactly at 2 o'clock, as agreed with Matt, but when you saw a few more cars in the parking lot in addition to the familiar Cadillac, you realized that the guys had been here for a long time. You must have looked a little ridiculous in a business suit and heels and a wooden box under your arm, but you didn't have other choice. Holding the car key in your mouth and trying to press the button at the same time, you clumsily closed the trunk with your leg. A purse was still dangling somewhere on your shoulder, and sunglasses had slipped from head to the bridge of your nose. "Must be an amazing picture to observe" you thought tiredly "Oh, if only Matt were here".
But before you had time to think about it, you heard a soft laugh behind you. You turned around sharply, noticing the frontman smoking alone near the entrance. You spat the key into the box, finally pressing the right button, and shouted
"And how long do you look?"
"I came exactly at the most interesting moment" man smiled, taking a puff.
You heavily crossed the entire parking lot, approaching him. Turner, having finished smoking a cigarette and throwing it into a nearby trash can, silently took the box from your hands.
"Hi, Y/N" he greeted you wheezing nicotine in the lungs.
"Hi," you frowened a little, but slowly added "Alex".
Calling him by his first name was... Unusual. A week ago the appeal to him was exclusively Mr. Turner, but today he was the first to break this line. "Well, apparently, we will both have problems with the boundaries of what is acceptable" bitterly flashed through your thoughts.
You both entered the building - Alex with a box in front, you behind holding the door. The way was silent. You wanted to say something to break this crystal quietness of his, but by the time you mustered up the courage, you stopped at the door 13A. The vocalist pushed it with his left shoulder, squeezing the alcohol forward, and you trotted along.
As soon as you and Alex entered the sound studio, you were immediately greeted with whistling and loud hooting.
"Look who's here, Miss Y/N"
"Hi, guys! I'm here with gifts as promised" you smiled broadly.
Alex at this time put the box on the table and immediately took one bottle for himself.
You noticed that there were Tyler and Tom in the studio as well, so you mentally praised yourself for taking bottles with a margin. You didn't know them personally yet, but was willing to change it. Turner introduced you to the men, and surprisingly you didn't hear his usual sneer in the voice.
"So, welcome Y/N Y/S, she's our manager for the summer before America starts and James gets back"
"Happy to finally meet you!" you were the first to extend your hand to Tyler, which he shook gently, smiling affably, and then to Tom. But he intercepted your hand, kissing your knuckles and making you laugh.
"Mutually, Miss" Rowley said enchanted.
"And she makes her own awesome cider, get one" Matt ordered businesslike, raising his voice from behind the drum kit.
"Yeah, there is enough for everyone, don't hesitate to take"
Evidently you arrived during the break, and before that they had already rehearsed a bit. You were wondering what kind of advice they need from you. The thought that they just needed cider you pushed back with a grin. But Alex, as if reading your thoughts, leisurely started speaking leaning on the table and holding a drink.
"Well, thanks for the cider, but that's not what we called you for. Since you're such a big fan of My Propeller, we discussed it here and decided that it's possible to put one on the set list for a couple of times. So listen to how it sounds, maybe have some ideas or whatevah" he was trying to sound casual, not attaching importance to his words for you.
"I'll do my best!" you almost jumped from such news.
Jamie chuckled audibly, running his fingers over the guitar. You sat down on the couch as Matt tapped the rhythm with his sticks and the melody began.
Seductive. The first association that came to your mind when you heard the intro of this song. It was your favorite from Humbug for sure and one of the band's all time favorites. Alex never told in any interview what was the secret of the lyrics, and probably that was the reason it attracted you even more. The guys played it selflessly, as if there hadn't been those decades that they hadn't performed it. You liked how they gave themselves to the process, even if it was just a rehearsal. They were in simple t-shirts and Matt was proudly wearing pineapple shorts, but you could swear, a real concert was unfolding right in front of you.
When Alex started singing you tried to hide the goosebumps as best as you could, but it hardly worked out well. His voice flowed melodically, not betraying a hint of wheezing or breaking, which could arise due to the age. He closed his eyes, tightly gripping the microphone stand, and moved his feet to the beat, slightly ridiculous, but at the same time gracefully. Throughout the song, you didn’t take your eyes off the group for a minute, sometimes singing along to the words, pulling the last syllable of
Coax me out my law
And have a spin of my propeller
When the song ended, you clapped and Nick even made a mock bow.
“I don’t know how objective my assessment will be, because apart from the words of delight I have nothing to add” you honestly admitted. It seemed to you that you heard Alex's quiet "As I said", but Matt was quick to interrupt him asking you "Actually, we have already decided to play it in Bristol, but the question is where to chip in. We'll definitely not start with this one, and the outro is already completed, so..."
You thought a little, trying to understand what motives My Propeller reminds you of, and then the penny dropped.
"Pretty Visitors!" you exclaimed louder than you should have because your words echoed through the silent studio.
"Smooth interlude from Pretty Visitors, yeah, not bad actually" Alex quickly developed your idea, turning to Matt, as if asking "Do you mind?", but the drummer only closed his eyes approvingly. It seemed that they didn't need any words at all, they could understand each other with guitar riffs and drum brakes. Their connection, it was amazing, honed to automatism for past 20 years. They were like scientists in a chemistry lab mixing potions together in an attempt to make a new elixir. It was magic to come true and watching this process was so intimate that you involuntarily felt the heat on your cheeks, as if you were engaged in voyeurism.
***
The hours in the studio flew by. Fortunately for you, the guys decided to surprise fans with the return of Mardy Bum which will be the opener. The exact setlist for Bristol was confirmed at the end of the rehearsal, bringing back Teddy Picker and The View From The Afternoon as well. So looking at the perfect 21 songs, you could only imagine what they would save for London. Originally you were going to visit their concert in your hometown, you bought tickets as soon as sales were announced, but after James's call you easily gave the ticket to a friend, saying that you had won a jackpot.
Tom and Tyler have already left and the five of you are left. You were sitting on a soft chair, moved from the corner of the room, and the guys opposite on the sofas. The boys had laid down their guitars and you were leding a peaceful conversation about life, since the studio rental time ended only in an hour. You told them about your career in the industry, Maneskin and the part time projects you've been working on lately, omitting the details of your divorce because you thought it was too early for them to immerse themselves in such personal aspects of your life.
"By the way, Vic is your big fan and Alex in particular" you giggled, remembering the way drunk Maneskin bassist told you that she would like to sleep with Turner. Those were the carefree times of your youth you warmly remembered.
"Really?" Matt raised his eyebrows as he sipped his seemingly endless bottle of cider "You still have their contacts, right?"
"Yeah, sure, we even text each other occasionally" you quipped.
"And you didn't say you were working with us?" Heldres was surprised.
"Actually, somehow it didn't seem possible" you lowered your gaze, "I mean what would it look like? "Hey guys, look who's here, I now manage the Monkeys btw?" - so what?"
You could tell by the Cheshire smile on Matt's bristly face that this was exactly how he thought.
"Oh no, Matthew, don't you-"
"Oh yes, darling, dial FaceTime, you'll show them our doll" the man neighed, turning to Alex, who had been sitting quietly on the couch until this moment, and fidgeted in place after the suggestion.
"For God's sake, Matt, what a kindergarten behavior" the vocalist howled irritably, rolling his eyes, "I don't even remember their names".
The idea of making fun of Turner a little for the morning case with the box and taking revenge seemed to you unexpectedly delightful. Your hand automatically sank into your pants pocket, deftly pulling it out into the light and finding the right WhatsApp chat.
"Don't worry, you just have to say hi to Vic, I'm sure you'll be fine" you sang sweetly, glancing slyly at Matt, who chuckled approvingly, glad that you supported his idea.
Alex only cursed at this and ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it. Either from nerves, or putting his hair in order before the call.
You moved from your seat to the couch between Alex and Matt, gesturing for Nick and Jamie to join. You put your hand in front of you so only your face was visible in the camera frame, waiting for one of the guys to take the call. It might have been a little ill-advised to call like this without warning on a workday evening, but anyway it was already too late, as the beeps trailed in a string of sounds. You hoped that they didn't have a concert today, in any other case, one of them would definitely pick up the phone from you. And by a happy coincidence, it was Vic who ended up on your screen.
"What the hell, Miss Boogie, are you really occasionally calling after all this time of silence?" despite Victoria de Angelis's accusatory words, she sounded playful. She was a little disheveled and with a bright blush on her face. People were walking randomly with the string interruptions in the background. Apparently, the guys were at the soundcheck at one of the venues, and Vic recently finished playing.
Four pairs of eyes openly stared at you with undisguised interest after hearing the nickname, demanding an answer, but you just mouthed "later".
"Awww, sweetheart, and I'm happy to hear you again too!" you said with an ironic smile.
"I have a lot of news for you, and I will definitely call you in private soon"
"Are you not alone? Who's with you?" the girl even moved closer to the camera in an attempt to see something.
"Well, I have a little surprise for you. Actually four surprises, but one of them you'll find really special" you said conspiratorially, looking around at the guys who were still out of the picture. Alex sat to your right, trying to portray the most distant look, as if everything that was happening was nothing more than baby talk for him.
"Darling, if you have a group orgy without me, then I will be offended and drop the call" the bassist said threateningly, wiping her forehead with a towel that was hung on her shoulder.
You just burst out laughing "Ok ok, I'm not languishing you anymore. I hope you're ready. Boys, say hi to Vics" and you finally moved the camera further so that Matt, Nick and Jamie, who were sitting to your left, got into the camera frame, Alex's appearance you saved for a dessert.
The musician's reaction exceeded all your expectations. At first she narrowed her eyes, bringing the phone even closer to face, and then she widened them with a loud squeal, jumping up from her seat.
"What the hell, Y/N! What the actual fuck, you're a shitty mutherfucker!!!" she covered her mouth with her hand, chaotically moving the phone in different directions. Apparently, other members of the group came running to her scream, as you heard the voice of Damiano asking what happened.
"What happened?" she repeated "The fucking Arctic Monkeys are sitting next to Y/N!" answering a question off-camera and stabilizing the phone. Now you could clearly see the vocalist leaning over her shoulder, Thomas to the side and Ethan slightly behind.
Finally, the men next to you decided to introduce themselves "Hey, guys, what's new?" Matt said smiling to the camera, Jamie and Nick just waved their hands in a friendly manner.
"Oh my God, what's going on" Vic, still dumbfounded, spoke with a face of complete amazement. Damiano, who quickly figured out the whole situation and realized that Vic was unlikely to be able to communicate normally now, carefully took the phone from her hands.
"Hi, Y/N, long time no see! Hi, boys, how fresh you are" the frontman winked. The words "for your age" were suggested mutely, but David left them behind the scenes. The men next to you just laughed quietly at this remark and saluted the Italian boy.
"Vic, that's not all yet, look who's next to me" wanting to finally finish off your friend, you moved the camera to the side, revealing Alex's presence, who was already sitting with a polite smile on his face, leaning on the sofa armrest.
"Hi, love" Turner murmured hoarsely, turning on his usual charisma. You were surprised how quickly he went from "fuck off everyone" to his stage persona. Indeed, a skill acquired over the years.
De Angelis, after looking at the camera for just a second, squealed even harder than the first time, which you even grimaced a little, because in a quiet studio it sounded deafening.
The camera was still held by Damiano, but the girl in the frame could be seen doubled over, holding back cries of happiness. Her guys just laughed out loud at this, knowing full well what a strong fan of Alex she was.
"Y/N, I'm going to fucking kill you, I'll strap your ass so you can't sit still for another week, what are you doing to me?" Vic didn't let go of expressions, which made the men next to you shamelessly laugh, even Turner smiled predatoryly.
"Holy shit, you're real" the girl muttered in one breath.
Her adoration entertained Alex. Celebrities fangirling celebrities wasn't an unknown story for Alex, so the way Vic behaved didn't annoy him, but brought a feeling of sincere pleasure from what was happening.
"It would be strange if I wasn't, mhm?" the man grunted, changing the position - now he rested elbows on his knees, bringing the face closer to your phone. You could smell his light apple scent from the cider you both drank and the cigarette halo that soaked into all of the frontman's clothes.
Damiano finally decided to take control over the situation by turning the camera completely on himself.
"So, Y/N, if you wanted to surprise Vic, then you succeeded 100%! But we are now at soundcheck, and we don't have much time, and she" nodding towards the bassist "still needs to be brought to her senses. We were extremely happy to hear from you, babe. Call us when you are free and tell us everything in detail. Miss you very much!"
"Guys, me too! Love ya, see you at Glasto!"
"Wait! Take a screenshot!" Vic's desperate exclamation came from Damiano's left side.
He made a focused face, looking for the right buttons, while you and the men simultaneously smiled at the camera.
"Send it to the chat" you asked, ending the call and blowing a virtual kiss. You obviously cut off Vic's "I love you" without being entirely sure it was addressed to you.
The studio immediately froze in deafening silence. You put your phone down on the coffee table, still smiling.
"That was a real buzz, they're cute" Matt said leaning back on the couch. The mood of the guys clearly improved by this little conversation. You were glad that you could somehow diversify their evening after a productive and exhausting day. Even Alex stopped keeping his always compressed lips and frowning eyebrows.
"So, Miss Boogie, right?" Jamie began slyly, reminding you of your infamous nickname.
An approving "ooooo" reverberated around the room, from which you hid behind your palms.
"Damn, I was hoping you'd forget" you muttered from your hiding place.
"C'mon, we're intrigued already" Nick reached out to you through Matt, gently taking your hands away from your face.
Jamie suddenly started chanting your name, encouraging you to reveal this terrible secret, and Matt whistled as if Sheffield FC had just scored a goal.
"God, okay, just shut up please" you gave up.
The four men took more comfortable positions in anticipation of your story.
"In fact, there is nothing special in this story, it's just stupid. When Maneskin was approved for Eurovision, we went to celebrate, how can we not. It was in Milan. We got very drunk in a bar and went for a walk around the city. It was about 3 in the morning, and to entertain ourselves we played Truth or Dare. The most banal thing that could be, but nothing better came to mind. And I chose Dare, 'cause everyone else only cowardly told their secrets. So Vic asked me to dance for a minute on the street to any song that a passerby would name. Well, since at such time you are unlikely to meet any adequate passerby, we only found a beggar in the square. I don’t know how old he was, but the first song that he remembered was Boogie Wonderland" at this point you made a dramatic pause, "so yes, I had to dance to this song at night in front of other poor people who came up to us. Since then they call me Miss Boogie. Everyone is satisfied now, having fun, huh?"
You intentionally crossed your arms in insult, surreptitiously watching the laughing band.
"I bet there's a video" Matt said cheekily.
"Yes, there is, but you'll never see it!" you retorted quickly, glaring at the drummer.
"Your hot cheeks make me want to see this video even more" Nick teased tapping Matt on the shoulder.
"You know what," Alex suddenly announced, "choose any song you want. We play it, and you show the video"
You could swear your jaw was somewhere on the floor.
"Woah, did you decide to go all-in?" Matt asked, also not expecting such a generous offer "Be careful, otherwise you will have to play a Taylor Swift song"
"Ouch, why do you think I like her?"
"Who doesn't like her?"
"Your truth" you nodded approvingly.
"I meant our song. We'll perform it at the concert" Turner interrupted your dialogue, looking at you testily from under his eyelashes.
There was a slight silence, which you broke with a heavy sigh.
"Wow, okay, this is getting interesting" you muttered, leaning back on the couch like Helders had done earlier. The three men to your left looked at each other in surprise, waiting for an answer, while you've been thinking, looking at the frontman.
"Certain Romance," you easily stated, "I want this one"
"Your wish is my command, Miss Boogie," he joked without any hint of smile, standing up "you guys remember how to play it, don't you?"
The guys looked at each other dumbfounded, unable to find words for such a drastic change in the behavior of the vocalist, but after a discordant series of affirmative nods, they received a condescending smile from him.
"Well, that's great, there's still time to rehearse. I propose Sheffield!" Alex said solemnly, thrusting his hands into the pockets.
"Al, ru ok?" Matt raised an eyebrow in disbelief.
"All right, man" Turner said artificially.
"This house is a circus indeed" swirled through your head. Alex's behavior was defiant. Emerging into conflict. Literally a minute ago everything was peace and quiet, and now he, like a proud peacock, was arranging a show for you at the level of a cheap soap opera.
"No, but seriously, let's even organize a lottery, since Y/N has such an influence on the setlist" Alex didn't let up.
"Come on, pipe down, you suggested it yourself" Nick intervened carefully, not wanting to stir up the smoldering coals of the conflict.
"And I think all of you are into this idea, aren't you?" Turner didn't raise his low, heavily accented baritone, but the underlying toxicity in his tone was evident, "oh, even better, let's ask our Italian friends for advice! Let's get their opinion and her video as well".
"Alexander, smoke?" you stood up decisively from the couch, grabbing your purse and phlegmatically glancing at the wooden cider box you'd probably have to leave in the studio. But you couldn’t leave the guys in such an atmosphere, so out of courtesy you promised to return again.
"Y/N, no problem, see you before Bristol! Send the screen to our group, 'cause I'm getting jealous for these Italians" Matt gave you an encouraging wink in the end, and you certainly promised to do it tonight.
"They'll kill each other"
"He doesn't stand a chance"
Jamie and Matt said at the same time as the door closed behind you.
Alex imposingly walked ahead, not hurrying anywhere. He politely said goodbye to the security guard, noting that the rental period had already come to an end. Almost bowing, he opened the door to the street for you, artificially gallantly holding it with his hand, still making a show from every gesture, which for some reason made you feel disgusted. You were counting on working with middle-aged men, accomplished musicians, but it feels like you are talking to teenagers.
Damp cold air from the river hit your red cheeks, which made you wrap yourself in a jacket more tightly. Alex took out a pack of Marlboro, offering you one, but nodding to himself, removed it, remembering your words a week ago practically at the same place.
"Well?" he said with a cigarette in his mouth, lighting the filter.
The sky was overcast with a milky haze of fog, which wasn't uncommon for these places, a weak wind was blowing, but not a single sound from the road was heard, which made you hear sparks from ignited tobacco hiss like champagne bubbles, falling on the asphalt.
Alex exhaled noisily, squinting at you with his eyes. His face was faintly lit by the flame of a cigarette, but even in such low light, it was noticeable that his gaze was completely blank. "Amazingly indifferent and deep eyes at the same time. It's impossible to tell anything from them" you thought. Or maybe he was like this only with unpleasant people to him, who you apparently were. You can’t even imagine the way these eyes changed on stage "Where are you real, Alexander?". But instead of asking this, you just threw your head back, tiredly closing your eyelids, showing with your whole appearance how absurd the situation is.
"Alex," there wasn't any visible point to call him Mr. Turner even though you were annoyed "I thought we made a deal, didn't we?"
"Really? When?" his voice sounded even more affected than in the studio, despite the fact that now the man spoke rather quietly and slowly. Or maybe even a whisper would be loud in this ringing silence.
"I just don't understand what the problem is" you continued, as if you didn't hear his words.
"I don't see it either, Miss Y/S"
You raised your eyebrows high as you asked a silent question, which made Alex smirk slightly. Taking a puff, he began to explain to you with the intonation of a parent teaching a child not to put his fingers in the socket.
"Listen, I won't hide it, you brought some chaos to our tour. This is different from your direct duties though - to solve all the problems on our way. But you're a stranger who stirred up our peace and foundation. I was initially against this idea, but James left me no choice. You are undoubtedly an educated young lady, and probably from a moral point of view, I sound like a scoundrel now-"
"You sound unprofessional, Alex. You only make me feel contempt, and I don't care about any moral side"
The frontman looked at you from under his brows, taking out a second cigarette in a row from the pack, waiting for a further reaction, but inside you was a frozen magma that didn't want to break out, muffled by self-esteem. For now.
His words contradicted his behavior. In the morning he carries your boxes and asks for a song advice, and in the evening he gives out this shit. If women's logic is ridiculed by society, then men do not have it at all.
“You know what, when James offered me this job, I was damn excited and proud that I would be working with a team like yours. I was on a cloud nine. But you, Alex, you're just a spoiled boy in the body of a 37-year-old man who hasn't overplayed his ambitions and thinks that his subtle nature is so fragile to understand that you need to hide behind the facade of an asshole so that normal people with good intentions don't crawl into your soul. You are cowardly and arrogant!"
You were breathing heavily, and the words "fool fool fool" stretched on repeat in a red line behind your eyes.
You didn't even understand how they escaped from your lips, absolutely thoughtlessly. You even instinctively wanted to raise a hand to cover your mouth, but pulled yourself back in time, deciding to play to the end. Show after show.
Alex hadn't raised a cigarette to his face during your tirade, so that the wick was almost dead in his fingers. You intensively looked at each other without stopping, and at some point it seemed to you that fear flashed in his pupils. Fear of the revealed truth. However, they were covered with a thick veil of indifference to what was happening in a second, and he finally took the last puff, throwing the butt right on the road.
"Miss Y/S, it seems that you have to go" the musician said unemotionally.
You took one last burning look at his features and, without saying a word, turned around towards your car. How ironic, a week ago you left each other in roughly the same sequence of activities - studio, cider, parking lot, but under completely different circumstances.
Slamming the door shut, you sharply revved, not bothering to warm up the engine, and drove out of the parking lot with a clang of tires. Burning tears of resentment gushed from your eyes, covering the already foggy road in front, but you didn't pay attention.
Your cooperation has just begun, and you have already swept on an emotional swing. Only in the morning you were driving in a car towards the sun and rejoicing at the warm words of your dad, and in the evening you return home, wiping the salty paths with the back of your hand from your face.
You were never embarrassed by tears, you cried out almost all of them during a divorce, but if they dripped from your eyes today, then there was a reason for that. Your parents taught you that after rain there is always a rainbow, after tears there is always peace of mind, you need to be able to live through any emotions in order to turn them into your power later.
***
You haven't seen the boys since that evening until today's early departure for Bristol. Of course, you communicated on all sorts of organizational issues during this time and there was no visible tension, especially since they didn't hear about your quarrel with Alex. You were more than sure that he would not tell his friends about that incident. This is what infringes on him, and therefore makes him weaker, which he couldn't allow.
All these days you have wondered what was the reason for such a sharp behavior, however you couldn't really delve into yourself. Why exactly you were crying - from resentment, overstrain or just an emotional outburst, it was also difficult to understand. Perhaps all together. Over the past month, from your first conversation with Ford to recent events, your life has changed 180 degrees, so it's no surprise that your psyche gave a little glitch.
You've comforted yourself with routines though — setting Grapes up with a friend until your next visit to London, inviting your parents over for dinner to tell you all the details, packing your suitcase for the tour, checking out all the technical stuff, and almost forgetting what kind of adventure you're packing for.
And now, without any idea of the nearest future, you were sitting in a black Mercedes Sprinter between Marcus and James Kerr, Ben was in the passenger seat in front, Steven was riding with the group in the bus. It was only 8 am, you were sleepy, only at the last moment you didn’t forget to remove eye patches before going out, you didn’t even put on makeup, so you sat in the wide sunglasses, even though the sun wasn't visible through the tinted windows of the car.
It seemed that everyone was relaxed, easily communicated with each other and knew exactly what each would do upon arrival at the venue. Unlike you. The schedule was pretty clear - check-in at the hotel, lunch, departure for the soundcheck and then free time for the management and the band, but very busy time for the technicians. Of all this, the most sensible thing was to drink plenty of wine at dinner and walk around the rest of the day in a relaxed state of mind, but those were only pitiful thoughts of creeping fear. Deep inside you were sure that everything would be fine, it couldn’t be otherwise, because even if you didn’t know how to do this or that task, the guys knew their duties, and they physically couldn’t play the concert badly.
"Hey, Y/N, you kinda took working with us too seriously" Marcus snapped you out of your thoughts with his mocking tone.
"I'm sorry, what?" you asked, turning to him.
He touched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and chuckled. It took you another couple of seconds to figure out what he meant, so he took advantage of your confusion to explain "you now going to wear glasses in the dark as well?"
The reference to Alex was read transparently, so you imperceptibly flinched and pointedly removed them, as if not wanting to be associated with him at all.
"No, no, I just didn't have time to do my make up" you honestly admitted, shrugging your shoulders ingenuously.
"Oh, I'm sorry, we-" the guy looked around at all the passengers, "we don't understand this here"
You laughed slightly, at the same time relaxing, and asked him a question that had been of interest to you for a long time.
"Why don't you have women in the team? I mean at all"
Instead of Marcus, Ben decided to answer from the front seat, apparently as the eldest among you.
“It didn’t happen on purpose, but later it became kind of unspoken rule. We are here like on the fishing, you know? We leave our wives, spend time within our male company, it’s like an alternative branch of your life, you do quality work here, you feel needed, while no one owe you nothing and you feel absolutely free in your actions, understanding thoroughly those who are around you"
"Are you aware that this is how a normal team should work, regardless of gender? It sounds somehow sexist. Am I really embarrassing you in actions?" you smiled slyly, anticipating the denouement.
"Actually, besides you, we have 3 other women in the team.." Marcus embarrassingly chipped in.
"Guys, don't bother yourself with excuses, I knew who I was messing with" you laughed, crossing your legs. Marcus looked at you dumbfounded, but said nothing, and James just chuckled softly at the window.
"Well, if you knew that, then you also should know about our tradition, right, guys?" Ben began in a conspiratorial tone, exchanging glances with the guys.
"Um, about what?" you arched an eyebrow in disbelief.
"The newbie is signed up for the after-party. Tonight is your first concert, and after that we go to the bar, the drinks are off you! We're equal here" Ben imperturbably continued to scan your reaction with a fox-eye, waiting for an answer. It's not that you're greedy or unable to pay, but to buy drinks for the whole team...
And as if ahead of your question, the man added "enough management and the band".
As if it changed the essence. But you couldn't refuse, so you mumbled something affirmative, getting a roar of male hoarse laughter in response, and starting to laugh at yourself. You appreciated in people, especially males, this ability - to make a woman laugh. In a time of constant change and stress, finding someone who will make you forget about it was very important.
The rest of the road was spent in the same good mood, and these conversations did help you to forget about your anxiety due to upcoming events. Upon arrival, all the management team and the band settled in the hotel. As James promise, you've been given a private suite overlooking the most beautiful park in the city center. But due to an unknown coincidence, you lived not on the same floor with the attendants, but through the door from the group.
Matt carried your things to your room and you agreed to meet for lunch in 20 minutes.
Since you were able to miraculously did a make up even in the car, thanks to the sensitive driving, now you decided to change into more presentable clothes in which you will be at the concert.
Without changing the habit of choosing clothes carefully and for a long time, you took off your hot sweatshirt, remaining in only sweatpants and starting to go through the whole suitcase in search of those things that would match your mood. You had a couple of looks planned, but today's unexpectedly warm weather changed your plans a little, so you confidently took out a black leather skirt and a white blouse.
A piece of matter fit all your forms perfectly, so you were satisfied with the choice, spinning in front of the mirror by the bed. The black bodice harmonized perfectly with the skirt, and the crazy idea of staying only in it, without putting on anything, flashed through your head like a bullet, but flew out just as quickly as soon as you heard the muffled thud of heels on the carpet outside the door and a muttered "Jamie?" at your door followed by a knock. You hysterically shouted "No!" exactly at the moment when the door opened without a click.
"Shit, Y/N!" Alex, not having time to properly enter your room, but having clearly noticed you in a compromising way, abruptly recoiled, remaining in the corridor, but not completely closing the door so that he could hear you, but not see.
"God! What a mess" you pleaded, rushing to the door. You stuck out only your head, meeting the eyes of the musician, who was discomposedly staring at you point-blank.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"Why are you naked?"
You asked at the same time, shouting over each other.
"This is my room! And I'm not naked!"
"Where's Jamie? I thought he was at 312" Turner asked, a little bewildered, clearly embarrassed.
"I have no idea where Jamie is. How did you even get in?" you were still half-dressed, hiding most of your body behind a wooden door.
"I knocked, but it turned out that it was not slammed at all"
"What the fuck? Maybe Matt didn't close when he left," you muttered more to yourself. You clearly saw the question “What did Matt do here?” that arose in Alex’s head, but which he never voiced. Clearly realizing that the dialogue could not be continued in this form, you abruptly switched the subject, trying to tear his eyes from your neck.
"I was changing for dinner anyway, so see you there" you sharply slammed the door in front of him, not wanting to go into details, and tiredly leaned your head against the wooden surface from the inside.
"Crazy" you heard quiet along with receding soft steps.
It was your only meaningful conversation with the singer, since that evening. You understood that it couldn’t go on like this for a long time, but at the moment you didn’t have any ideas how to fix the situation. So you just finally put on the look you chose, after checking that the door was locked, then decided to add a black headband, and being satisfied with your appearance, went downstairs.
After lunch, the whole team went to the stadium, where the technicians had already set up half of the equipment. The guys immediately went to the sound check, and you and Steven went to meet Ashton Gate management. It seemed like there was still plenty of time before the concert, and you thought you would have a few more chances to double-check everything, but in the turmoil that was going on behind the scenes, this turned out to be impossible.
To be honest, you were overwhelmed by what was happening. The soft music, people around, the sun rays moving towards the sunset - this whole scene that was unfolding before you as you unexpectedly stepped onto the empty stage a few minutes before the crowd was let into the stadium looked surreal and incredibly familiar, as if you had been here many times before. The noise and chaos behind you contrasted with the tranquility in front of your eyes. The empty space that was about to be filled with a crowd in just a few minutes brought both excitement and serenity. These were the moments that seemed unreal, but made life worth living.
***
The show was about to start, and you stood next to the dark staircase, where the guys from the dressing room were soon to come up. Leaning on the railing, you nervously twirled a lock of hair around your finger. You went through all the items on the checklist in your head, checking off each one mentally, but something still bothered you.
Alex.
Your unfinished conversations and evasive behavior were weighing on you. You felt guilty, knowing that as his manager, you had behaved tactlessly, driven by emotions. It ate at you from the inside. You decided that you would talk to him today, apologize and put this issue to rest once and for all.
Suddenly you noticed a flickering light from the security, which meant that the group is entering the stage, and you turned sharply, both wanting and fearing to see them. As always, looking luxurious, these four men made their way up to the platform, remaining unnoticed by the audience.
"Good luck, guys! I'm buzzing as hell honestly" you tried to sound confident, but your voice trembled on the last word.
"Miss Y/S, is it just me or are you worried about us?" Nick lightly touched your shoulder in a reassuring gesture.
"Well, it's my first time with you" realizing how ambiguous that sounded, you interrupted yourself with a laugh.
"Oh, you'll love it, babe" Matt mimicked a voice from a cheap adult movie, tossing a stick in the air. It seemed like he could find the right words in any situation, and in the future, you would highly appreciate this skill.
All this time, you were glancing at Alex out of the corner of your eye, trying to read his emotions, but he calmly adjusted the folds on his unchanging dark blue jacket and stretched his neck with turns left and right. Seeing that the guys had moved a little away from you, you looked at your watch, estimating that you had 5 minutes maximum, and whispered to yourself "now or never".
"Alex!" you called him out loudly, trying to outshout the crowd "I wanted to talk, I know it's not the most appropriate time, but-"
"Y/N, forgive me, okay," the man unexpectedly began, barely approaching you. For the first time, you saw genuine excitement in his eyes, here, in the darkness of the backstage area of a 30,000-seat stadium. For some reason, only now you clearly feel the difference in height between you two. He looked down at you patronizingly. Maybe it was because of his heels or the knot of nerves in your stomach that made you feel so small in your attempt to hide from his penetrating gaze.
"I've been a complete jerk and acted childish from the very beginning. You didn't do anything to deserve such treatment. I don't want our tension to affect the group and our work in any way, so I admit my guilt"
You stood in shock, slightly opening your mouth. You absolutely did not expect such a turn of events, so your entire improvised speech evaporated from your mind instantly. He suddenly smiled softly, raising an eyebrow, as if asking 'well, what now?' Still not believing what you heard, you nodded your head almost automatically.
"Y-yes, you were a jerk indeed. But I also didn't behave entirely correctly, my first impression wasn't great either," you sighed in frustration, recalling your memories, "I suggest we start over, huh? Hi, my name is Y/N, I'm your new tour manager, nice to meet you" and to confirm your words, you gracefully extended your hand to him.
"Nice to meet you too, I'm Alex Turner, sort of singing here," he shook your hand with an energetic movement. His palm was dry and steady, causing a pleasant warmth throughout your body, "just business then?"
"Just business indeed. And a little bit of music" you said, more relaxed, smiling with all 32 teeth, still holding onto his hand.
"Deal, Miss Y/S"
For a moment, the roar of fans faded away for you, and you only saw the outlines of his pupils in the semi-darkness and his fingers firmly holding yours. However, your fragile moment was promptly ruined by-
"Al, c'mon!" Jamie impatiently called, and your hand felt the gusts of wind instead of calloused skin of the frontman. You watched him walk away in his waddle manner, as he suddenly turned and shouted, winking "By the way, nice lace".
It took you a couple of seconds to understand what was said, and when the meaning of his words reached you, you exclaimed in indignation "You, motherfucker!" almost stomping your foot, but your cry was lost in the wild roar of the crowd, as the guys were already on stage.
It was a miraculous sight. Four men made people go into ecstasy just with their appearance - this is the phenomenon of the Beatles, and they were proof that rock and roll is alive. As long as they are alive. Every strum on the guitar strings, every touch of the lips to the microphone, every drumstick strike, every hair flip was special in their performance, they themselves were special.
You were fascinated, to say the least. When the performance came to the last song before the encore, Body Paint, one of your favorite songs from the album, that was definitely made to be played live, you were out of words. The whole song built you up to the climax, to the outro that every time was a pure jamming and improvisation. And you literally exploded in ecstasy when Alex started walking around the stage, unable to stand still from the knocking down energy. He closed his eyes in languor, biting his lips, screaming, throwing out his arms, and you couldn't take your eyes off. You weren't dancing or jumping, you were inseparably watching his every movement, arms folded across your chest. Your mouth was agape against your will, and your eyes eagerly punched a hole in the frontman. This is a unique performance, it's something that is hard to explain without feeling it for yourself. You were made up of his music, you literally felt these waves inside your veins, your brain wasn't able to comprehend what was happening, it was like a catharsis for all of you. And you definitely didn't want to be saved.
Suddenly Alex turned his head to your side, continuing to play some divine riff outlining the Van Gogh fields on the guitar strings. His hair was tousled, shirt unbuttoned, but his jacket fitted perfectly. He rested his eyes on your figure, smiling with one corner of his lips, and you looked at each other for good seven seconds which felt like eternity. You were sure that everything was clear in your eyes, and even if he stood next to you and heard you, you wouldn't be able to utter a word.
What you definitely didn't expect when your eye contact was broken and Alex walked to another side of the stage, that tears would involuntarily flow from your eyes. "What the hell..." you wondered aloud, quickly removing the salty tracks from your cheeks. In fact, you perfectly understood why you were crying. From a sense of greatness. The greatness of music, human synergy and the power of unity. It was too much for you, too strong emotions to bear. It was excellent, it was the taste of life, thanks to which you still were here. "God, if you exist, bless this band, they are saints" although it sounded ridiculous and naive, you seriously were ready to pray for the talent of these guys, for the ability to make other people feel alive. You were in your place, you did everything right, you were cruising the victory. Today he convinced you.
As soon as the last chords of "RU Mine?" were played and the bows to the fans were taken, the men disappeared from the deafening roar behind the dark curtains of backstage. Their hair stuck to their sweat faces, and a distinct masculine smell was coming from their shirts. The guys passed by you with exhausted smiles, unable to utter a word from fatigue, and disappeared into the darkness of the corridors.
You didn't know what to do right now. According to your understanding, your job didn't end with pre-concert organization, there were also post-concert tasks to be done. But you were so lost in emotions that you felt like you were drifting away from an anaphylactic shock.
Unexpectedly, Tyler came to you as he was the last one to come off the stage. He fraternally put a hand on your shoulder, tousling your hair with his heavy palm.
"Well, with the initiation into our hell, sweetheart. How're you?"
"Thrilled, and I want more!" you declared confidently, matching his quick pace that was pulling you further away from the frenzy of the crowd.
"Well, don't doubt that, it's just the beginning" he charmingly smiled, and you couldn't help but mirror his expression.
"Now we're going to celebrate, and you're coming with us" it sounded so authoritative that even if you wanted to object, you immediately closed your mouth, nodding in agreement. "Besides, seems like you need to unwind" you remembered.
You left the stadium only an hour later, apparently, it was a normal time for the guys to "recover". You'd made several jokes about one woman waiting for seven men and received offended and teasing looks in return. You got into the same Mercedes you arrived in that morning, and the driver took you to one of Bristol's typical English pubs that the guys loved so much.
You didn't understand their fondness for these quaint places where the sofa upholstery hadn't changed along with the owner. There were so many modern bars in the city, any of which the band could afford to rent entirely, but they paid tribute to traditions, obviously cherishing memories of their lively youth when they started playing their first concerts in similar places. Such a return to their roots after the thousands-capacity stadiums grounded them well. And the warm nostalgia, slipping across the Guinness glasses every time, was a corner of genuine joy for the guys, the only true luxury they possessed.
And overall, you didn't care where to spend money or on what. After all today's events, which felt like a whole month, you didn't mind anymore. In the morning, you looked at your apple orchard in the early mist of suburban London, then stood half-naked in a five-star hotel room in front of a world-renowned music star, and now, in the evening, you huddled next to him on an old leather couch under a red velvet chandelier, drinking a B-52.
Glasses, shots and colorful bottles flashed in front of your eyes like a kaleidoscope. Your head was spinning from the amount of alcohol, and your cheeks hurt from laughter.
"My dear mates, I propose a toast to Miss Y/S and her first concert with us! I don't know if she understands where she has ended up, but we'll make sure she has a great time with us, right, guys? To Y/N!" Matt solemnly proclaimed, rising from the table, and 8 hands, pouring drinks onto each other, reached towards the center of the table to clink glasses.
"Guys, thank you for this opportunity, thanks to James for his unplanned vacation, thanks to Steven and Marcus-" although the latter wasn't here, you decided to thank him as he had been providing you with all kinds of help during these weeks, "for their support and adaptation, and of course, to you Monkeys, for accepting me. I do like your crazy Monkey house" you joked, but it didn't negate the truth. Despite all the past disagreements with the lead singer, you felt that you were still doing everything right. And even if you hadn't gone on this adventure today, you would still feel grateful to fate for such an opportunity to be at the center of life.
"Glad to hear that," Jamie chuckled ironically, "as they say, welcome aboard"
And with these words, you all whistled, and Tom even shouted like a saloon girl from the Wild West. Your evening, or rather the night, continued until 3 am, fortunately there was no concert the next day, so you could at least sleep in a bit. You looked in horror at the amount you had drunk, trying to estimate how long it would take to recover the contents of your wallet. But you had consumed so much gin and tonic that the only thing that really worried you was how to walk straight for at least 2 meters to the bar to pay for it all.
"Drinks on me!" you declared with a mischievous smile to the group as you headed towards the bar counter.
"What, for everyone?" Matt playfully refined.
"Well, yeah," you didn't have the energy to realize his surprise, but he also didn't have the energy to argue with you, "that's no problem".
And thus, the following events spun in your head like a foggy whirlpool. Here you were finally breathing in the fresh air of the street, tilting your head towards the purple sky, then you were half-lying on someone's shoulder in the black minivan, and finally for no reason you were walking barefoot on a soft hotel carpet, but there were no shoes in your hands as well.
You didn't have any memories of walking into your room either. But in the moment, the feeling of soft snow-white hotel sheets flooded your body with long-awaited bliss. You instantly fell into the arms of Morpheus, only on the verge of consciousness noticing that someone took off the headband from your hair, which had been squeezing your head tightly, and silently closed the door.
You may be too drunk to remember each of your actions clearly, but you definitely wouldn't mistake the familiar scent of cigarettes in the room.
---------------------------------------------------
A/N: Oh, so much has happened in one chapter, and this is just the beginning of the tour... I decided to tell the background of Y/N for a better understanding of her actions. What do you think, maybe you want more of "Italian friends" in the work? Whose line do you want to read in more detail? Share your emotions, it is incredibly valuable to me that someone reads this work actually!
xo🤍
Taglist: @missbabyjay @rentskenobi @findmeincorneliastreet @indierockgirrl here it is!
*if you want to be removed or added to the taglist, feel free to ask me!
#alex turner#arctic monkeys#am7 tour#the car era#am7 era#alex turner fanfic#matt helders#the car#alex turner fic#alex turner imagine#alex turner x you#alex turner x y/n#alex turner x reader#alex turner fanfiction#femme like you fanfic#nick o malley#jamie cook#maneskin#vic de angelis#damiano david
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hey, what chapter do you think TBHK will end?
i mean, we already got to 100 chapters, do you think we'll make it to 200?
also what do you think could be the ending of the story?
hopefully Yashiro gets her life span back
It's a good question, the chapters can increase or decrease according to the fame and success of the manga, and since sales are good, it's likely that it will become a little longer.
There's still a lot that needs to be developed and explained, although the mysteries are almost all without the yorishiros, we still have the story of the twins, Yashiro, Mitsuba, the family of exorcists, the entity, Tsuchigomori (who seems to have a very important role here), there's also the possibility of more alternative realities emerging and of course, the development of the original story itself.
So, in addition to that, we still have the development of their relationships, we're following the problems, we need to find out how everything will develop over time in relation to many things.
We are still in the discovery phase, in this current arc, we will still see the new changes, how they will deal with it and try to reverse it, and then the story of Number 1, we may still see more about the twins' story directly or indirectly, but if you want to know, this year will probably only focus on this arc.
Considering that it is a monthly publication, then we have 12 chapters per year, it all depends on the size of the arc that will be developed. The arc of number 6 was long, we basically went 1 year without seeing Hanako.
So, even if we have a list of everything that will still happen, what determines the size of the arc is how it is developed.
While the arc of number 6 was very long, the arc of number 5 (Tsuchigomori) was very short, it was an arc of introduction of the character.
So my answer is that we cannot have a precise idea because it will depend on the development, however, I believe that there is still a lot ahead.
And about the ending, wow, I really have no idea! Aidairo is so unpredictable, literally anything can happen. But if we are to follow the anime's credits and what happened to the school when time advanced, the twins will probably "become one", with this entity and great destruction.
I talk a little about this here:
The possibilities:
Everyone dies
Nene sacrifices herself and saves the twins
Amane lets the illness he had as a child develop and Tsukasa wouldn't have sacrificed himself.
Amane accepts that Tsukasa sacrifices himself and lives his life.
Reincarnation (I don't know if it's possible in this universe, but I don't want to rule it out)
Hanako does something terrible, but manages to make Tsukasa and Nene stay with him in a controversial way.
Of all the situations, I believe in 6, because Amane is not the type to easily give up on the person he loves and is capable of doing something terrible to have the one he loves by his side.
For a neutral ending: They go back in time and completely destroy the entity, without the entity, nothing bad happens, but in this case, Nene and Amane will not be together, Amane will probably die of the disease and only Tsukasa will be left. (assuming he doesn't take his own life in the process, which could also happen.)
For a positive ending:
Let's imagine that Amane got sick because of the entity (it's a hypothesis) so, if they go back in time and destroy the entity, the twins will live normally, but in that case, Amane will be too old to have a romantic relationship with Nene, but at least he and his brother will be happy and Nene will live her life normally.
For an even more positive ending, everyone would die and be reincarnated, so they would live together normally.
Negative ending:
The entity inside Hanako breaks free, he loses control and destroys everything, Nene tries to stop Hanako, but since he is not under control, he kills her, Kou will have to exorcise Hanako, a promise he made at the beginning of the manga and I think that this is not here for nothing.
Kou will be the only one who does this, Tsukasa lost the seal to make Hanako weaker, and before Kou exorcises Hanako, Amane will realize that he destroyed everything he loves and had neither Nene nor Tsukasa, and he himself asks to be exorcised.
Probably, only Kou will be left among all of these.
I only gave a few endings, there are many other possibilities.
#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#hanako kun#aidairo#amane yugi#yugi twins#hanakokun#jshk spoilers
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Spellbound Secrets
chapter six: garden chat
synopsis: The House of Lamentation caught fire one night, and you were the only one they recovered from the wreckage. The brothers were in the house as well when you went to bed that night, but they were nowhere to be found. The pact marks are faded, and seem to be getting more and more indefinite by the day. You and Solomon get to investigating but oddly enough, nobody can seem to remember the missing brothers. It’s up to you, with the help of Solomon, to find your beloved demons, lest you never see them again.
navigation: playlist | prologue | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six (you are here!) | chapter seven (coming next saturday)
authors note: most of these a/s are just me apologizing now but sorry this chapter is shorter than usual. I thought about getting out the plot point in this chapter and just making it longer. but honestly it's just easier for me to do it this way. i might make the next chapter a little longer as an extra apology. classes have been eating up all my time, like i thought it would haha. huge thank you to my like, eight consistent readers of this fic <3 you're all the best
"You were there?" You didn't remember much yourself, but you assumed your memories weren't tampered with, like everyone else's had been.
"I was. Which raises the question: why would I forget that night? Nobody else seemed to remember the brothers. We were only concerned about getting you to safety. If I had already forgotten about the brothers, what was the point of forgetting that night too?" The gardens settled into an eerie absences of noise. The two of you couldn't look anywhere but at each other.
"What happened?" You finally spoke. He seemed to understand what you were referring to, and winced a little.
"Are you sure you want to know?" He asked.
"I need to know if we want to get to the bottom of this." You drew in a deep, shaky breath, preparing yourself for what he was about to tell you.
"You're right." He then began to describe what the night had been like from his perspective. The reasoning of why you were at the House of Lamentation matched that of what Diavolo had told you, even though now you both knew that that couldn't be the case. He remembered waking up to an unusually strained sounding Barbatos, who told him the news. He then woke up Simeon, who decided to stay behind with Luke, since neither of them wanted him to see that. The next thing he vividly remembered was rushing to the House of Lamentation and being mesmerized by the odd flames. He described them as a peachy color, and in the center, where it was the hottest, it was a pale pink. That alone told the both of you that it couldn't have been an ordinary fire.
"I don't get it. Why would you forget that?" You took in a deep breath and wracked your brain for any sort of explanation.
"That's exactly it. It makes no sense. That, along with a few other details makes me think something more nefarious is at play." Solomon's eyes narrowed.
"I know the brothers have their enemies, but I don't think any of them could even be capable of something like this. How powerful do you need to be to even get the Demon Lord himself to forget the existence his right hand man?" You thought aloud.
"I have a couple more proposals of where we can from here. We'll come back to that previous point later." You were glad he seemed to have a plan. You honestly wouldn't even know where to start without him.
"I'm listening." You put your coffee to the side. You were no longer interested in drinking it.
"Jumping off what you said, we should look into those who openly hated the brothers before everything happened. It might be interested to read about them now, considering they now no longer hate them."
"How would we find all of them? All we have is our own memories. They're not bad by any means, but there's no way we would both know about all of them."
"I actually have a list, back at my house in the human world. So, in case you were wondering, our trip is still on!" He smiled at you.
"I won't ask why you have that." You knew Solomon. With him, you always had to expect the unexpected. Keeping tabs on enemies wasn't unheard of, but it was only a little odd considering some of them likely had no clue who he was.
"We can also research that particular color of fire. It has to be connected to the nature of your injuries. The doctors had no explanation, so maybe we can find it ourself."
"Alright, we can do that. I don't mind doing more reading." You were actually quite excited at the thought of finding an answer. You didn't know if your burns would behave more like a normal burn, or if they'd remain just as they were for the rest of your life. If the latter was the case, answers would be more than welcome if you'd have to be stuck with them.
"To better help answer our questions, it would be best to go to the source."
"Go to the source?" Your heart sunk. You knew it had been briefly mentioned before, but you hadn't even begun to process what that might entail. You weren't sure if you could do it.
"I've probably said it before, but you don't need to come with me. I don't know how you're feeling, but I'd be an awful person if I made you." He said. He knew you too well.
"I'll think about it." You told him.
"Take your time. I don't need an answer right now. Don't feel obligated to say yes, either." He reached out across the table to take your hand. He stroked the back of your hand with his thumb. It felt so right to have your fingers interlocked with his.
"Thanks." You'd said that word lots of times over the past few days, but you meant it equally every single time.
"Don't mention it. I think that's everything I wanted to talk about. Do you have anything you want to add?" Solomon paused.
After thinking for a moment, you responded. "I know it's too early into our investigation to tell, but I hope where ever the brothers are, they're safe. I know things aren't looking great right now, but that won't stop me from hoping."
"They're strong. Where ever they are, we'll find them. When we put our minds to something, there's nothing that can stop us." Solomon sounded optimistic. You were glad it was him by your side. You knew you could depend on him, and would do so without hesitation. Even if it wasn't the case, things just seemed easier when he was by your side.
"I know I just said I'd think about it, but I want to go with you." You responded with a newfound confidence.
"Where'd this come from?" Solomon asked.
"You, of course."
tags list: @bagofmice
#spellbound secrets#obey me#obey me!#obey me x reader#obey me solomon#omswd#obey me shall we date#obey me! shall we date#obey me! shall we date?
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DRDT vs. The Scrum Debate
Greetings party people (<- DRDT fan community). By complete accident, I wound up writing some analysis addressing DRDT's Chapter 1 Scrum Debate and what it might mean for the future of Chapter 2. Although it can no longer be used in the exact context for which I originally wrote it, there were still some interesting things to note, so I thought I'd share.
So, here's the question I'll pose: whenever DRDT's Chapter 2 Scrum Debate eventually appears, can we deduce who the killer is by which side of the Scrum Debate they're on? (DRDT spoilers, obviously, as well as V3 spoilers.)
Let's start out with the facts of DRDT so far. I'll recap the Scrum Debate using this formatting: the person listed first is the one who speaks first, on the team opposite the protagonist. The person listed after the arrow (->) is the person who countered them from the protagonist's team. The team whose opinion is proven correct by the end of the Trial will have their names in green, while the incorrect team will be listed in red. The killer is bolded. The protagonist is underlined. The protagonist's side always wins, so I'm not additionally marking that in any special way. I'll list anyone who doesn't talk at the bottom, and cross their name out (name) if they're dead.
DRDT Chapter 1 Scrum Debate
Question: Is Teruko the culprit? (yes/no) J -> Nico David -> Whit Veronika -> Rose Levi -> Ace Hu -> Eden Arei -> Arturo Min -> Teruko No lines: Xander, Charles
In this case, Xander didn't speak in the Scrum Debate (because he's dead) and neither did Charles (because he was having a mental breakdown). As it stands so far in DRDT, the "pattern" is that the killer, Min, spoke and was on the team opposite from Teruko. She was countered by Teruko herself, even!
Therefore, you could say that "the killer will be someone who argues on the opposite side of the protagonist, and possibly even whoever is countered by Teruko. If your killer pick winds up on Teruko's team, it's bad news for you."
However, it's hard to find a pattern in only one example. Now, we'll see if those assumptions hold true when compared to the OG of Scrum Debates, the canonical Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony.
V3 Chapter 1 Scrum Debate
Question: Is Shuichi the culprit? (yes/no) Kiyo -> Gonta Miu -> Kaito Maki -> Kirumi Ryoma -> Kiibo Kokichi -> Kaede No lines: Rantaro, Angie, Tenko, Tsumugi, Himiko, Shuichi (^ Unlike what's been shown in DRDT so far, in V3, characters' death portraits are assigned to a side of the Scrum Debate. That is what these colors note for Rantaro right now, and other dead students below.)
V3 Chapter 2 Scrum Debate
Question: When was the body put in the piranha tank? (in the morning/at night) Tsumugi -> Angie Kiyo -> Himiko Miu -> Kaito Kokichi -> Shuichi Gonta -> Maki Kirumi -> Tenko No lines: Rantaro, Kaede, Ryoma, Kiibo
V3 Chapter 3 Scrum Debate
Question: [Should we] Vote for Korekiyo [now, or discuss it further]? (vote now/discuss further)* Himiko -> Kiibo Miu -> Shuichi Kaito -> Kiyo Gonta -> Kokichi Maki -> Kiyo Tsumugi -> Shuichi No lines: Rantaro, Kaede, Ryoma, Kirumi, Angie, Tenko (*Although the team that said vote for Kiyo now would have technically been correct, given that he did kill Tenko and Angie, it's generally good practice to discuss every piece of evidence in a Class Trial in case something strange comes up last minute. Thus, I will call the team that said they should discuss further correct. If you disagree with this verdict, just flip the colors in your mind.)
V3 Chapter 4 Scrum Debate
Question: Could Gonta have committed the crime? (no/yes) Kaito -> Shuichi Tsumugi -> Kokichi Maki -> Kiibo Kaito -> Shuichi Kaito -> Kokichi Himiko -> Kiibo Gonta -> Shuichi No lines: Rantaro, Kaede, Ryoma, Kirumi, Angie, Tenko, Kiyo, Miu
V3 Chapter 5 Scrum Debate
Question: Which one is dead? (Kokichi/Kaito) Kiibo -> Shuichi Himiko -> Maki Tsumugi -> Maki Kiibo -> Shuichi Himiko -> Maki Tsumugi -> Shuichi No lines: Rantaro, Kaede, Ryoma, Kirumi, Angie, Tenko, Kiyo, Miu, Gonta, Kokichi, Kaito
Oof, my man Ryoma cannot catch a break. And Miu is only correct once she's dead; that's pretty funny.
Now, let's answer some questions! As established by v3...
Does the blackened have to be on the opposite team from the protagonist? No, Kiyo argued on Shuichi's side in Ch3!
Does the blackened have to be countered by the protagonist in their Class Trial? No, Kirumi, Kiyo, and Kaito were never countered by Shuichi!
Is the blackened always on the incorrect side of the Scrum Debate? No, Kaede, Kiyo*, and Kaito answered correctly!
Does the blackened have to speak in the Class Trial? No, Kaito didn't say anything, as himself or as Kokichi!
(Granted, Kaito not speaking was a very special circumstances that will in all likelihood never apply to DRDT, much less in this Class Trial. And, of course, Kaede wasn't countered by the protagonist either, but given that she was the protagonist at the time, that would have been basically impossible.)
With these answers, I think we can confirm that, in general, you cannot determine who the killer of a given Trial is based on where they're placed in the Scrum Debate. As established by V3, they can talk on the side of the protagonist, talk against the protagonist, or not talk at all, and they can still be the killer. It makes sense that it would be this way, or else you could start calling the killer as early as the first episode of the Trial, depending on the Scrum Debate's placement.
However, that's not to say that you can never infer things from the evidence you're given. In a well written Class Trial (which DRDT has, in my opinion), a killer is always looking to support their end goals in subtle ways. In V3, all of the killers acted in the way that made the most sense to them based on the question asked: Kaede wanted to protect Shuichi and everyone else, Kirumi wanted others to think the truth of the murder was impossible, Kiyo wanted to extend the Trial to evade a guilty verdict, Gonta genuinely believed he was innocent, and Kaito didn't tip the scales by commenting on one side or another. Of course, that begs the question: what will DRDT's Scrum Debate be about?
Personally, I think it will be about whether Arei met with the killer at 7:30 PM or 7:30 AM, and will happen almost immediately once episodes resume. Thus, in that specific scenario, I find it likely that DRDT Chapter 2's killer will once again be on the team opposite Teruko. Presumably, the killer would want to argue that the time was 7:30 PM, because they likely left AM or PM off of the note intentionally because they had an alibi at night. If we assume that Teruko would side with Charles in saying that the time was 7:30 AM, playing into her feeling that something about David being the blackened is wrong, then that would put her on the (likely correct) AM team, opposite the killer.
An interesting side note about this theory for the Scrum Debate's subject is that it's really similar to V3's Chapter 2 Scrum Debate question. V3 Ch2 asked whether Ryoma's body was placed in the Gym in the morning or at night, and DRDT's may ask if Arei's body was put in the Playground in the morning or at night. Similarly, "is Shuichi the culprit" and "is Teruko the culprit" are almost identical questions, down to the person suspected being the innocent eventual protagonist who was only put into this precarious position by their trigger-happy bestie.
If this pattern holds up, we might expect DRDT's subsequent Scrum Debates to ask us whether we should make an impulsive or cautious decision, something about someone's personality as it pertains to the crime, and which of two people is dead/the culprit. Does that information get anyone theorizing? I certainly think it's interesting idea.
Well, whatever happens, I'm sure we'll have lots to talk about once Episode 12 does eventually dropped. Thanks for checking this out, and hopefully I can post more properly planned DRDT content soon.
#danganronpa despair time#drdt#drdt spoilers#v3 spoilers#just remembered that the canonical title of this event is debate scrum not scrum debate. i give up (/j)#i feel like everyone calls it a scrum debate though. right? i'm not just making that up???#maybe that's what the music track is called i don't remember#kinda want to look as sdra2's scrum debates too now but i'm lazy and the formatting is kind of a pain so maybe not#unless of course anyone other than me particularly wants to see it#my theories
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