#in this scene he’s mad that bae isn’t around to sing

[mymitochondriaforpresident]

what am i looking for in a male character? i’m personally partial to little freaks who have suffered more than jesus so write that down

[pinkpetalwaterimagine]

A Christmas nightmare

A/N : Hi everyone ! here a new imagine. (english isn’t my first language, feel free to point out mistakes ❤️❤️) anyway enjoy Bonne lecture 🌈❤️

word count : 2.3K 

Summary : Charlie’s mom hates YN, she blames you of Charlie being away (angst) 

Christmas, what a beautiful time of the year. Everything about Christmas was so beautiful and it just radiates happiness from everywhere. The Christmas lights hanging around the trees outside, the thousands lights illuminating the streets. It was so enjoyable, you loved being cooped up in your apartment in a big sweatshirt most of the time belonging to your boyfriend, reading with a hot cocoa cup. 

Even if all of this was beautiful and everything, you had to focus on your work. You loved Christmas but you knew that if you wanted to enjoy your vacations you had to finish everything. Needless to say you were a little bit stressed but you could always count on Charlie to cheer you up. He was always trying his best to put a smile on your face. He would bring you cup of coffee or whatever beverages you fancied. When he wasn’t around he would sent you some goofy pictures of what he was doing. You loved all of his cute intentions he was always the one to take in your feelings and you were trying to do the same for him. Your relationship with Charlie was all about giving and being happy the two of you. 

After being with him for more than three years it was natural that you will be going celebrating Christmas with his family and you just couldn’t wait. You had met his family a couple of times because the two of you were so far away from them but you still knew them a little bit. This Christmas was going to be perfect, or so you thought. 

« Come on babe ! We need to go if you want to be in time at your parent’s house. » you yelled towards the stairs leading to your room where Charlie was getting ready. You were wanting for him to be done and oh boy does he take some time to get ready. You were loading the trunk of your car with your luggages when Charlie finally showed up. 

« I know, I know, I was a bit long in the shower. But I love you. » he said, obviously trying to coax you. 

« Get in the car pretty boy » you said laughing, and you swear you saw his cheeks turn into a crimson color. You pinched his cheeks before going behind the wheel and driving for another three hours. 

The ride was filled with laughter and singing. The two of you had always been comfortable around the other. Even at the beginning of your relationship you knew that you could trust Charlie with your life. It was a feeling you had never felt before, a feeling of complete trust, you knew that you could tell him everything and he would still be there for you. He had this soft glimpse in his eyes that makes you want to tell him your secrets and just cuddle him. And he knew that he had this power over you and sometimes he used it against you and you could never resist. This boy, this man is everything you had dreamed for. The man that you could brought home to your parents without feeling stressed because you knew that they would like him. Who could not ? He was almost perfect. He still had his quirks but still he was yours and you weren’t ready to let him go. 

Even if you had already met a part of his family you still wanted this dinner to go smoothly. You knew that Charlie’s family was everything to him. He loved them so much and was ready to drop everything if they needed him. He was the pride of his family, going off to LA, and Landing a big contract with Netflix and still being such a sweet and humble man. It was one of the many reasons that made you fall more in love with him.  

Four hours later, after being stuck in traffic jam you finally reached your destination : the family home of the Gillespie. He smiled at you, a wide and happy smile that you not so often saw. He was happy to be home. 

You had just the time to stop the car and the man child next to you was already out, running towards the door of his childhood home. It was warming your heart seeing him that way. You knew he missed being home. 

You chuckled and took the key out of the ignition before taking the suitcase you brought, containing the numerous gifts and clothes you needed for the weekend. 

You finally reached the threshold, almost falling several times due to the ice on the road. Charlie was already engulfed in his mother’s arms, laughing and talking. 

You had already met his siblings several times. More than you had met his parents and they really liked you and always included you in the family gatherings and everything. They all huge you asking how you were and everyone was making small talk in the hallway. You finally have access to Mrs Gillespie and went in for a hug like you always did with her. You felt her tense around you and you asked yourself why. Had you done something wrong in the three minutes you’ve been here ? Only Charlie’s mother was acting weird towards you. Everyone seemed cool and nice like they always had been. You decided to let it slide and move from the hallway to the dining table. 

The Gillespie household was never a calm one, every time you visited it was filled with laughter and talking. Overall, it was always a fun experience, the fire was cracking inside the chimney and everyone had tinted cheeks due to the heat and had a cup of tea or any hot beverage. You always enjoyed coming in here. 

« Before we begin our Christmas dinner I have a little something for everyone ! » Charlie’s mother said with a wide smile. She passed around her children and gifted them cute Christmas sweaters. She even gave one to the girlfriends of Charlie’s brothers. You were the only left out, everyone put their sweaters on and you seemed to stuck out so much. You felt like you weren’t a part of the family, which granted you weren’t legally but after three years of dating Charlie you thought that they considered you a part of their family. Apparently you were wrong. What hurt the most was that no-one noticed that you didn’t receive a sweatshirt. You felt excluded of their gathering, and even Charlie didn’t noticed that you were a bit taken aback. « Those sweatshirts are just amazing ! Don’t you agree babe ? » He asked you and you thought that he had nerve telling you this. However you didn’t let this show in your demeanor : « you are beautiful bae, as always » you answered quietly with a forced smile. 

Even the girlfriends that they had never met until now had one ! During dinner you couldn’t get this thought out of your mind. You were quiet during dinner, talking when asked to but never really engaging. Charlie was speaking enough for the both of you. 

When everyone was done, you got up, helping clearing out the table and loading the dishwasher. As you were doing back and forth from the dining room and the kitchen you overheard a conversation between Charlie’s mother and himself. 

« You can tell me when you want to come ! It’s been such a long time since we saw you ! I’m sure that it is because of your girlfriend ! She doesn’t want you to come here and see us ?! This is it ?! » she asked sounding angry. 

You couldn’t believe she thought like this, you never forbade anything to Charlie or anyone for that matter. You waited for Charlie’s answer, you knew he would defend you and speak the truth. 

« Mom, that’s not true, I’m just busy. » he said calmly but she went back at it again « Like I would believe this ». He said nothing and you felt your heart broke a little more. You never thought that this Christmas would turn that way. You waited for a minute before entering the kitchen with the dirty plates. It was only you and Charlie’s mother. You felt uneasy standing next to her knowing her true feelings about you. 

« Listen Y/N, I know that my son says that he is busy but I know you are the one preventing him from coming home. I think that you are with him just for his fame and money and I won’t have that under my roof or nowhere ! » she was saying all of this calmly and quietly and you didn’t know how to answer to that. You didn’t realized she was feeling that way and perceived you like that. 

« But, it’s not me ! The both of us are working hard and I’m not with him for his money ! Do you realize what you are saying ?! » you were growing mad and you won’t let this woman walk over you. The times being bullied by anyone were done. « You are just a gold digger and I know it’s a dark and complicated world out there but please let my son out of your life. » she was playing the sympathy card but that wasn’t going to cut it with you. 

« You are crazy ! There’s no other explanation » you said a bit louder. 

« What? » the voice came from behind you and before even turning around you knew it came from Charlie. You sighed before facing whatever was awaiting for you. 

« I can’t believe you would say such a thing to my mother. She welcomed you with open arms in our house and now you are insulting her ? » he said angrily. You had never saw him like that, he was always this free spirited man that was always the cool one. But seeing him so angry almost repulsed by you was the worst. You had been together for three years and you felt your relationship crumbled under your fingertips because of three words. 

« Charlie please, let me explain » he cut you mid-sentence « I don’t care, I think you should go. » you were frozen in place. He asked you to leave, in the middle of the night, during almost a snowstorm without anywhere to go. 

« That’s why you never see your family. Goodbye. » he was so cold and his words were like ice swords going through your heart. Tears began falling on your cheeks. Being this humiliated you decided to not cause a bigger scene you quickly took your coat and suitcase running towards the door. As you passed the dining room you heard the laughter of the family around the Christmas tree. Once in the safety of your car you thought about the catastrophe that just happened. You could never forget those cold eyes from either of them. His mother had a small smile but Charlie’s face was stern, his eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes oh so loving before were replacing by something you never saw, towards you or anyone. Hatred, disgust. You couldn’t believe that was the last memory you will have with him, This messy breakup. It was obviously a break up. You knew that he wouldn’t come crawling back to you, he wasn’t the type and after what he said you could never look at him again. 

Driving always had this therapeutic virtue of emptying your head. You were concentrating on the road and that was all on your mind. After two hours of driving in circle with snow covering the road, you stopped in a hotel. You couldn’t stand the look of pity from the steward and from everyone. You climbed to your room before crying and bawling your eyes out into the pillow. You don’t think that the two of you will be able to get through this. After excessive crying you finally fall asleep of pure exhaustion. 

Packing your bags was hard. You were at Charlie’s apartment. It was for the two of you but you decided it was better to leave before he came back. You weren’t ready to confront him, see him, talk to him. The memories kept coming at you like hurtful punches. The several picture of you hanging around the place, being happy, smiling and laughing. Your eyes were waterfalls. You decided to keep only one thing from him, it was a picture of the two of you on your first date. You had your head on his shoulders smiling, looking towards the camera while Charlie was looking at you with the biggest smile he could have. 

Your closet was always filled to the brim, and as you were clearing out your part one of Charlie fancy jacket fell on the ground. You put it back on the rack but you noticed something fell with the jacket. It was a black velvety small box. It couldn’t be a lot of things and your mind jumped to conclusion. Did he wanted to marry you ? Had he purchased the ring ? You opened the box and saw the most gorgeous ring, it was simple just a small diamond but you didn’t like thing too big or shiny. You couldn’t breathe. He was planning on marrying you ! You never talked much about this but of course you would have said yes. Leaving this place knowing that he was ready for a life commitment was the worst. You questioned your relationship on every aspect. What went wrong ? One morning he was ready to marry you and in just three hours he was ready to throw you out of his home. 

Your car was filled with suitcases and your belongings. It was also filled with sadness and misery. You left a note and the key as well as the black box you found, on the counter in the kitchen : « I guess we weren’t that good for each other. I was willing to give you an explanation but you didn’t care. I guess it means it’s the end for us. I was hoping that we wouldn’t end, ever. And apparently you wished for the same thing before all of this. Goodbye, Y/N ». You signed with your own name and not some silly nickname he always gave you. You didn’t make a small heart like you used to do. Nothing you would do would be like before. 

Your car was leaving the complex the both of you used to live in when on the other side of the road you recognized Owen’s car. Charlie was on the passenger seat. You tried to not look at them as if you didn’t saw them they wouldn’t saw you. This gate could not open any slower ! Finally you were able to drive down the road. 

« Wasn’t it Y/N in the car ? » Owen asked. 

[choicesatnight]

Devoted Fiend

Title: Devoted Fiend

Pairing: James Ashton x Vivian (MC)

Rating: Angst n stuff..?

Word count:  2,048 words

My disclaimer:  This character is owned by PB, I just enjoy some elaboration. I really love James Ashton and I love Choices fanfics, especially nasty ass stuff but there isn’t much featuring my original bae, James Ashton from The Freshman series

So, I decided to put my amateur ass talent to work and write with James being the *star of the story*

A/N:  * is a separator due to scene change, use of Daddy, Italics are James thoughts

Four months later, Vivian is the only suspect in Reyna’s murder although they cannot link the poison to Vivian as the autopsy revealed Reyna’s cause of death as extreme amounts of black mamba venom. They did find an empty vial in Vivian’s purse which is the sole reason she is a suspect. Out on bail, thanks to James, she gave birth to a healthy boy who currently resides with his father.

After putting Logan down to sleep, James sits down to dial Comfort.

“Hey hun"

“Hey C, where are you?”

“Almost at your place”

“Good. Logan misses you.”

“Oh, does he? Logan's got some explaining to do"

“Uh oh.”

“I'm here.” She hangs up the phone and opens the door.

Comfort walks in wearing her usual type of outfit. An oversized top, formfitting jeans, and heels. The top is so long it hides the part of her bottom half that James likes to see the most.

“You look nice" he kisses her lips.

After the kiss, “I'm going to see Logan. Sit down, hun. I'll be right back.”

Seconds later she returns from the nursery and sits on the couch beside James.

 “He's sleeping.”

“Hopefully for a while. He’s quite the night owl.”

“That’s the complete opposite of you.”

James' eyes scrunch in confusion, why does she think I’m not a night person at all? I can hang late at night. Shouldn’t she know this by now?

“I guess. But it’s exactly like his mother.”

Comfort rolls her eyes,

“Why are you talking about murderers?”

“You know I believe in her innocence. Regardless, she’s still Logan’s mom.”

“She's a murderer which brings me to my next point. James. You paid for her LEGAL TEAM!?” raising her voice in absolute disapproval of what he’s done.

“Yes. She's Logan's mom”

“Babe. She's a damn MUR👏🏼DER👏🏼ER"

James smiles, “You called me babe.”

Like Vivian used to.

Her mouth flat and eyes full of anger

“Listen, if she gets free you will be responsible for a murderer on the loose. She's obsessed with you so I'm next and when I wind up dead it's on you. Know that.”

“Comfort, I'm sorry we disagree about her role in Reyna's murder but she's Logan's mother and I’m always going to look after the mother of my child.”

“Okay honey remember you said that when I'm dead and you ultimately end up back with her because you're soft for her.”

“Soft for her? Comfort, we were together for nine years. She's the mother of my son. I have a right, no – a VALID REASON to stay in her life and excuse me for being polite and using the money I have for things” He takes a breath before he continues, “and PEOPLE that are important to me! I’m only looking out for her.” His tone is elevated, he’s standing and looking at her with furrowed brows as he speaks. How dare she speak so ill of Vivian!

She stands up and gets in his face,

“Really James? Do you think raising your voice is gonna back me down off of the fact that you’re taking care of a murderer? I don’t care how long you were together, she’s a killer and this is not cool. You need to have a seat, get the hell outta my face and go tell her to stay in her damn place!”

Feeling even more frustrated, he sits down without a word. Comfort remains standing.

“Exactly. Sit down. Don’t try to argue with me about that damn murderer. I got this argument.”

Did she just tell me what to do?

Nothing. James says nothing.

“You act like you're still together. The only difference is that you're having sex with me and I have a key to your apartment.”

“Are you saying you think this is only about sex?”

“I hope not.”

 “I’ll talk to her, okay?” He has no intention of talking to her about this situation. She’s innocent and not even Comfort can convince him otherwise.

“That’s all I’m asking, at least. Man up.” James thoughts linger to Vivian. She would never talk to him this way, nor would she be so demanding.

“Okay, well…”

“Um, yeah, I’ll call you later, okay?” Comfort attempts to kiss James though he bends as if he’s looking for something and she leaves.

What Comfort doesn’t know is that James also paid her bail, so by her definition he’s already let a murderer loose.

**

Vivian sits at home alone. Thinking of the situation she's gotten herself in when her phone rings "Sweet Love" and steals her attention. Upon grabbing the phone, she sees its lit with notification. Today is...or would have been, her 10th anniversary with James. Imagining how amazing the day and night would have been if they were together and if she were not facing a murder conviction leads her to dial James. 

"Hey James"

"Hey" she can hear the tiniest cry near the phone. 

"Awww is that Logan?"

"Of course, it is. I'm feeding him."

"Can I come by? Do you have company already?" He knows she's asking about Comfort. She always avoids saying her name. Is Comfort equivalent to Voldemort to Vivian? 

"Only Logan and I are home. Come by." 

"I miss my baby. See you soon" she hangs up the phone and heads to James apartment.  

Once there, she kisses James on the cheek and sets her purse and keys on the table. Removing her coat reveals the low cut, form-fitting shirt she is wearing. He gets lost remembering the way she'd call him Daddy when he'd bite her nipples simply by staring at her top and maybe a little from the warm familiarity of her perfume. But he is pulled from his memories when Vivian repeats "I'm gonna go see Logan.” Until he responds “Okay.”

She walks to the nursery and rocks baby Logan in her arms while singing. "ABCDEF is for Frugal which your father is not. And hey! Father. F is for father GH is for Hoe. The kind of partner you shouldn't commit to IJ..." James walks in "Those ABC's don't sound appropriate for an infant." He smiles, only to show that he is not chastising her. "He'll know his letters and some adult lessons by the time he's three. He'll be a scholar and know how to avoid getting hurt. He'll be better than his mom. He'll be like his dad." 

James walks behind her wrapping her in his embrace, hands rested on her stomach 

"You're a wonderful woman." She softly places Logan in his crib

"I wasn't good enough for you."

He releases her from his embrace only to make her face him,

"Vivian, are you kidding me? You're the love of my life. You don't seem to understand the change I had to go through after realizing that you were not committed to me. It broke my entire person. But I emerged."

"And started dating her. I pushed you to her and that’s who you share your happiness with.”

“It’s not happy” Fuck! I shouldn’t have said that. Vivian doesn’t need to hear about this…

“What’s wrong, James? Why aren’t you happy?”

“Okay,” he visually relaxes after deciding its okay to share this with Vivian.

“We argued and she talked down to me. Spoke to me like I were an idiot. You know how intensely I feel for words. She changed the way I see her plus I’m still mad.”

She steps closer to James “So now she's talking you crazy. Treating you like less of a man. Babe. You don’t deserve that.”

James is hardly able to resist Vivian, she's like kryptonite to him, but with the strength he has he says “Give me a second, gotta take advantage of this time while you're here with Logan" he laughs heading toward the bathroom.

Vivian can't help but notice James phone left on the baby`s changing table.

“My trusting lover never fails me" she laughs at the ZERO methods of protection on his phone and looks for her name “Vivian (Logan's mother)” to change it to “Soul Mate (Logan's Mother).” She's proud of her son, there’s no reason to change that. Next, she looks for Comfort. And finds her under “My everything (Comfort ❤).” Thank goodness for his parenthesis or she wouldn't ever find her. She changes her name to “Temporary Bitch (Comfort)” and puts his phone down. Just in time as he is walking back to her.

Now in the living room, James returns to Vivian

“Thanks for allowing me that quick shower. I felt pretty grimy. Logan doesn't deserve a grimy dad" he laughs

She joins in the laughter.  “You're definitely the type for Dad jokes.” 

“Oh, I'm a comedian. Comfort has extracted parts of me I didn't know existed.”

“Did she do that when she was screaming at you what to do?”

James is silent. Vivian knows exactly how to finish James, how to make herself irresistible to him.

“Hey, come here” she grabs his hand, pulling him into the bedroom and sitting on the bed. She gets on her knees behind him, massaging his shoulders.

“Close your eyes. Just relax to my touch…Daddy”

James is ready to relax but the flame ignites when she calls him Daddy. He turns his head around to look at her and they begin to kiss as attempts to pull her unto his lap. The movements are a little tricky, but she ends up on his lap as they continue kissing.  He pulls away long enough to say,

“I need you, Viv" before returning immediately to kissing her, deepening the kiss unknowing where to let his hands roam. For once, he just wants to kiss her until they share breaths, but she pulls away

“I missed you so much"

“I missed you too, Viv. I didn’t know how much.”

“Will you come to court with me tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course.” He kisses her. “I'll be there every day. I testify on Tuesday.” He kisses her again.

“I love you so much"

Vivian smiles, laying her head on James' shoulder. She’s getting everything she wanted in spite of Comfort still being alive.

“I love you too, James"

“Stay here. I’ll be with you tomorrow anyway.” His fingers combing through her hair as she sits on his lap.

“What about your place holder?”

He laughs when she refers to Comfort as “place holder"

“Who cares. She predicted this would happen anyway.”

“She predicted us getting back together?” she laughs

“Yup. She said I`m soft for you…but I'm definitely not soft right now"

She laughs even harder, “Freaky as ever! I missed that.”

They kiss. “It feels like home being back with you. It will be us forever, baby. You, me and Logan."

 “Yup."

**

DAY 1

THE PEOPLE VS. BLACK MAMBA

Both sides have presented their argument and Vivian stands with James and her attorney

“Sounds like the prosecution has no real evidence against you. They only called upon the testaments of forensic professionals. We're going to win.” The lawyer looks at James, “Who is this? Who are you? Vivian, are you entering a new witness?”

Vivian giggles and grabs hold of James' hand, “No. Michael. He paid for you to defend me"

Michael straightens his stance and offers his hand to shake “Mr. Ashton! Michael Board. It's nice to meet you, sir"

James laughs briefly while shaking his hand, “You're thinking of my dad. You can call me James.”

“Jay, Jim, Jimmy" he points finger guns toward James with expecting eyes.

“James.” James' voice is unmoving in tone, indicating tedium.

Vivian moves closer to James, still holding his hand “You can tell him anything. He's should be included in all of it.” James raises their intertwined hands to kiss hers.

“Are you married to James? Vivian, this will be amazing for your image.”

“Well, n-" James cuts of Vivian before she can finish answering

“Yes. I’m her husband.” He stares in her eyes as he speaks

“Perfect! The jury will not convict our brand-new mother and wife when she’s got no evidence tying her to this murder. Mrs. Ashton, consider this case won!” Michael is trying his best not to break out his “We're winning” dance moves when Vivian and James are still locked holding hands and staring into one another's eyes.

Teeny Tiny Tag List

@zigortega4life

@littlecrookedheart

[lil-miss-methodical]

China: For those of you who haven't noticed - I'm a black female, and this adds influence as to why I love China even more on Disney. Because growing up I noticed that when it comes to Disney, each generation really only gets that one black girl for big Disney productions. When I was growing up that girl was Raven Symone. I haven’t seen many follow after her - in fact I can count on one hand and none of them have yet to be the focal in a film franchise. A lot of people think this generation's is China McClain but the truth is Disney ain't really shown her the respect and shine she deserves. They actually were more courting the bae, Zendaya. This is until she decided to finally throw in the towel and leave it behind.

I was viewing something from Disney the other day and I just felt so frustrated. It was one of their normal productions - girl's finds herself down the proverbial musical hole of adventure and love and I sat there wondering at the lack of balance when it comes to diversity. I'm not saying that Disney hasn't produced features with young black girls at the core...I'm saying they're few and far between and that's still disheartening because they cannot claim lack of talent or reach. China has been under their umbrella for years - she's everything Disney claims to always want - a triple threat - acting, singing, and a dancer. She's animated, and talented, and she already presents herself the role model everyone pretends a Disney star has to be. They can't claim to have no story for her because for one let's be honest - shes that type of actress that Disney should be excited to write for and for two...Uma is presented in a way that she's just picking for a spin off.

The fact that she doesn't have her own film franchise at this point is just jaw dropping and upsetting all at the same time. The window for minorities is still only opened with the slight. And this has just been speaking on black girls in Disney...we always marvel at the fact that there's only one black Disney princess...but the number is about the same for other races that aren't white. I can't turn on my local Disney channel and find many Asian/Latina/ Indian/etc girls leading the musical journey to self discovery and love either.

And don't get me wrong - on one hand I would even argue that someone of that production saw the potential in both China and Uma and lowkey wanted that spinoff. I say that because there was heavy set up in the writing of the character and her story that demanded more. There was also these side elements like the undercurrent between Uma and Harry leading him to be her possible interest. And while fans like to disrespect these factors by - ignoring them and pretending like there was a display between Harry and anybody but Uma...it is in fact there and intentional. When we get to the end there's this set up of openness and presentation of continuity - audience can easily believe with it all that Uma would be getting her shine in her own story in that moment. So yes, I do believe someone behind the scenes had this concept of a spin off but the small sneak peek of the next film seems to have closed the window even more. Maybe they saw fandom response - read - lack of love/respect for Uma and in some ways China herself. And that's another frustration all of its own.

China did her job - she didn't only perform - she brought down the house, set it on fire then rebuilt from the ashes. So when I say Uma deserves better...I also mean the actress herself. People sit in their homes and sing along to her anthem Whats My Name and they don't see how it speaks on both the character and the young woman behind her brilliance.  

Uma: As I've already said, Uma means more to me than a fictional character I like. She stands for more than that. I could list a million reasons why Uma deserves her story to be told...but the truth is, only one reason matters - She has a story that can carry itself and people are interested in that story. That's it, that simple.

Uma is an interesting character. The moment she enters the scene she steals the show. There's an electricity to her...she's consumed with all the disrespect and deprecation she's experience during her short life, she's driven by a ball of bitterness at being left behind and tossed aside. Externally her actions are wrong but her emotions and her displeasure are stemmed from a very real place that in itself is valid. There are these moments that present whats underneath all that hardness and bluff that she fights to hide - the side of her that sings her anthem about people knowing her name but she doesn't forget the main message - US. You left us here and we're going to show you that leaving us here is the worst decision. She speaks not of leaving hers behind, she is in fact the reason the sea3 exist it's her keeps that image in front of them as she stands between the two. That moment on the deck when Mal throws the VKs in her face and she turns towards Harry with her eyeroll and that 'show ha who my bestie is' chin tap she gives Harry - this isn't as haters describe - to get at Mal, so much as to say, you're not the only one with friends honey and mine are willing to fight for me this time around - I know loyalty and mine are bad too. Uma is a murical character. Mal says something mean and Uma giggles, Mal tells her her bite ain't nothing - she shows her teeth. Mal taunts her with her lack of being able to be a VK, Uma shows whose on her team. She refuses to let Mal have anything over her head on the small table because the girl already has so much power over her. However, as bad as she wants to screw over Mal she does not choose to throw over a beloved friend to do so...that had been done to her and she knows how it feels.

It's this duality that makes one want to fight for her, cheer her on, want her to overcome. It's always difficult to watch those who were hurt want to hurt. But that's sometimes reality, it's a cycle. I hate the way the franchise treats Uma though. As though Mal has no place in her battle. As though Mal is the hero that was just chosen. That's not true at all and Mal has yet to take in the lesson herself, for any chance she gets she feeds that little monster inside Uma that tells her she's not good enough, that she's worthless, unimportant. How do you have a franchise about bad being a gray area and we as humans being salvageable but then feeding into fandoms disgusting habits by claiming Mal is better than Uma.

She's driven mad by anything related to Mal because of Mals constant reminder to her worth. It's easy from what you see or read to assume that Uma's relationship with her mother ain't stable. Seems like Ursula borders on depressed and her only real interaction with her daughter stems from having her and her crew work in her shop. She (Ursula) had failed and been banished and as far as she could see her daughter wasn't even capable enough to rule the prison they'd all been banished to much less total domination.  There is a def lack of interaction here unlike with the VKs and their mother's. This makes Uma's interest in lasting bonds not a stretch because thats the kind of thing she hasn't experienced - the VKs were probably like the golden standard - they had the power, and the familial bond. But joining with them is an absolute no go cause Mal hates her guts. We in turn get the sea3. I prefer this to be honest. Because reality is - sometimes there's these groups you think have everything you want and you wanna be apart of it but they ain't nothing but poison for you. I had that experience in high school so that concept is relatable. I don't want the franchise to end with Uma joining the VKs. The ones that surround her now - at her low point  and still tell her she matters - are the ones she should remain with. Heck I don't even want Uma future to be represented like the VKs. People are so interested in getting out...instead of fixing what's there. I think someone like Uma who can relate to all the bad sides of that life and what comes with it, she would be a great asset to the kids who like her had negativity and self doubt built into them. Taking them out of the zone isn't enough. Some of these kids have the belief that the life they have is all they're worth.

Uma's dream isn't actually to take over the world. It's to prove to people that she's somebody worth something and I for one think that's a hella message.

Ships: Let me start off by admitting that I don't take those who ship Ben and Uma seriously. It seems people think they're cute cause he said some nice things when his life was in danger...romance that does not make. Ben reminds me that some people pay you in lip service, but when the time for action is needed they're missing. That's not to say that Ben doesn't honestly want to do right by Uma and those left behind after seeing how that can affect them, and I'm here for a distant type of friendship out of them...that's about it cause I'm honestly just not a fan of Ben. He's 50 shades of boring. I can't even conceive the notion of him and Uma because the thought of him being a match for Harry is laughable at best. Plus I don't like the concept of male presence and voice of reason making a female come to her senses that comes with Ben. I like the concept of female self discovery coming from within...not because of some random guy that never actually put any effort in placating her life.

I refuse to even give the Mal and Uma ship any shine these days because I realize the bull it is and how disrespectful it is to China and Uma as a character. All these headcanons that makes Mal the center of everyone's love and Uma the one with left overs and adding another level to how she got left behind isn't really entertaining to me. To pretend that Uma is just a scorned lover instead of a girl that was bullied and reeling for someone to see her worth is something I'm not willing to do either.

I'm all in for Harry and Uma and it's more than that amazing chemistry Thomas and China has and the fact that they're both stunners who look good together in these forms. No it's because he's the best friend she deserves. He's the family that's not made of blood but bonds and choice. He accepts all of her - he in no way try's to demean her, he doesn't tell her how amazing she is, he tells other people yes but he shows her. This is because he understands where that need comes from. He can empathize with her need for captainship, for control, for power. And he doesn't mind giving into those needs because it does him no foul. Anything she needs is his first priority. Her enemies are his enemies. Anyone steps out of line with her he pushes them back in often before she even notices there's an issue. To be frank there’s a need for others to see her worth and Harry does. There are times he literally feeds into it - The scene at the shop where she turns towards him and says with all that desperation in her voice, ‘what’s my name’ he doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t balk. Instead he looks her directly in the eye, leans so she’s over him (towering helps one feel power), pulls off his hat (a sign of seriousness and respect), and says in a deep guttural voice - ‘Uma’. He understands her and intentionally maneuvers to help her in overt and subtle ways. The reason I love this though is because it's not used in a messy way. Thats t’s not used as a solution to her problem. It shows his love for her, yes. Its important, yes. It keeps her moving and pushing but its not a solution to her problem because in truth it's not other people that need to see her worth...it's her that needs to see and believe it. But with Harry, she can have love and self discovery- without one erasing the other and I'm here for that.

I also just really love their dynamic. I find it fascinating that people have this so called problem with their dynamic - the fact that she leads and he follows. Why is it when a woman has the control in the relationship or dynamic she is then therefore manipulative and in essences bad. Why is it a male is seen as weaker if he follows a female instead of falling into the assumption of having to lead. Why is the male not seen as strong for going against the processes of society, for choosing the role that makes him happy, for not resisting her power - her claim- her needs. Understand that Harry chooses to follow Uma. She has cast no spell on him, she’s not bending his arm. No one can control Harry, most people can’t even talk to him, he does what he wants consequences be damn - until it comes to Uma.

She’s the captain and yet there's no subtle resentment no harshness. I think this is because she doesn't forget to let him have his moment, have his shine. Normally a captain has a sense of greedy - I, I, I - and while Uma uses her I words, she stills lets his soak up the shine with her. They’re gonna take over together - not one overshadowing the other. In the shine of her anthem Uma is the focal yes, but like she doesn't forget to shine on the us concept of we all got left behind - there is this intentional positioning of Harry. This is intentional because while its the sea3 - only the two of them needs that kind of presence. Gil is not consumed in that way. But with Harry, he’s either always at her helm opening up the image to her or beside her. There's only one moment his not and it's with her at his helm. She's perched on her thrown and he has the stage (one that until that moment only she has been able to present on) and he's preforming and she has the best seat in the house, front row center. It's the imagery that really sets up what their dynamic is. They can say how attached they are but it's not until you see just how joined at the hip they in fact are that you believe it. It's the little things that prove their understanding of one another. People like to pretend it's about her manipulating him and it's really not. They're friends and they have similarities that bond them - they both have these needs to be 'legends' that in some way stem from their parent. This is why they both in some way allow the other to be in the forefront getting that shine.

In a few ways I feel like we’ve only scraped the surface of their dynamic. Theres this scene in the film where they’re at the shop and he’s giving her this look and its this intense moment because they’re faced to face and its almost like a challenge. This is way different from their normal dynamic where he usually gives into her. This time however, he chooses to tower over her, lean into her space. Theres something sensual in the air, as though he’s daring her. You def get the feeling of in this moment they’re both aware of whats between them and he’s silently telling her to step up but she’s the resistant one and in the end has to look away - doing something she normally does not like to do, back down from a challenge. I lived in this moment, because it was such a small scene but held so much power to undercurrents of their relationship and their characters. I would love to see this side of them explored more.

One thing I fear about for their relationship though is not just her resistance and fear, but also who Harry is. Like Uma, what he does is deeply tied to his past and identity. Out of all the characters, he’s the one who most likes the world of the bad. He doesn’t have a personal vendetta against Mal but he does find her new found goodness to be boring and a betrayal to what they all stand for. He hates been not for the silly reason Dove created, but simply because Ben stands for goodness. The more Ben talks the more he dislikes him (I can relate). If you watch Harry you notice he actually watches Uma a lot. There is a big part of him that loves the bloodthirsty malevolent side of her. There are times he gazes upon her with this look of worry like she will give in to the good that others are speaking of. Every time she does something to oppose that he grins, like a real life I’m happy presentation. So I wonder if Uma does have her redemption moment how does that effect Harry. Honestly I can’t imagine Uma not having that dual side of herself. Just like I can’t picture Harry walking around Auradon in preppy clothes and singing at prom. So I am interested to see how that could all play out and how and where they can find their place in a way that really works for them.

Huma is just that good stuff. It doesn't have to be over said...their actions put them in that position.

Things I want but most likely won't get from Disney: *A Uma forefront focal film...really the sea 3 could really have their own show if we're honest *Mal to face how her actions affects others...and an apology would be nice *Huma...huma...did I say Huma! Not that fake surface interaction but that deep soul kinda thing. They have it and many want to see it put to work. *If Uma has to have a slow song - let it be something Todrick Hall's Painting in the Rain. It opens with -

Sticks and stones Hurt harder when you know their thrown From no farther than your own sweet home And you fall flat on the welcome mat You won't be welcomed at (walk that line) There's no when you gotta choose a side There's no gray there's only black and white And it just ain't right If we fight then it's just like Painting in the rain

I think a song with this kind of vibe would be perfect because it speaks on her own personal struggles while also speaking on the general message of not just fighting, but fighting for the right side. Of course it can't be this song - Todrick's speaking more on the lack of equality in the matters of race and sexuality and how we’re slowing progression. But this same vibe, this same tone of story telling would be great for Uma and China really has range with her voice that they could use for a number like this. Given the times we're in, given Uma's message - it could be a powerful number.

I've been having this daydream of Harry and Uma doing this big dance number on the ship with the pirate crew. It's loud and big - with a lot of bang in the beat because pirates are rowdy and always hit the counts. But it's also salsa-ish and sexy with the theme of love - because come on it's Huma. This number just won't leave my head y'all - and it got worse the other day because  Todrick released Forbidden and he has a song called Forever and it is everything I imagined for this number! Every time I hear it I can see the scene even clearer. Uma's hair isn't in braids it's long and loose down her back in curls like China had it during rehearsals. As they dance Harry watches her with those magnetic eyes of his. When that second half beat drops in some of the pirate members take the floor with Gil as the lead for a sick stomp number that has the floorboards jumping and dust dancing into the air. This moment isn't about them being angry, it's just them having a moment. It's Harry getting Uma to let go for one second and just let loose and have fun. I think it's important to show the downtime side of them not just the side that is consumed with getting their due. 

*More freaking Gil! Who is he, what makes him tick? And yes I'm here for him being gay.

*More Harry backstory

Honestly I don't think they are gonna give me anything I want in this next production. That little snippet was enough to make me feel that way. The productions handle of promoting has led me to believe that. If I'm being frank they'll probably ruin Uma in the next one. I try to hold onto hope but Disney ain't got a good track record. They never know when to let go, they continue to beat the dead horse so to speak by trying to force the same character we've already moved on from onto us. But that's the American entertainment way...even when there is an audience begging for something that's missing...

But don't get it twisted - As a character Uma has it all. And as a fan, I'm always ready to watch another Queen conquer.

[wheredidtheyallcomefrom]

The Future of the Trainees (Part 2)

These are just some opinions about the trainees whose position evaluation stages were already aired, their skills and their chances of passing the elimination/making it into the final group. 

If It Was You

Kim Yongguk (Rank 34 -> Rank 35)

Chances – Well, it seems like Mnet doesn’t mind Yongguk going up in ranks because they really focused on him this episode. This is sort of nice because I think it’s always hard for the shier and more introverted people on reality shows to let their personality shine through. They don’t make friends as easily so there’s probably not much footage of them conversing with other trainees and they’re not really the type to ham it out in front of the camera alone. Especially, in Yongguk’s case because he probably didn’t think he’d need to make friends right away since he had his labelmate. And he actually does talk about this in his interviews which is really sweet because he didn’t need to mention him considering that he was out of the competition so very early on. I think Mnet couldn’t predict the ranks that some trainees would get and from their editing in this episode it’s pretty obvious whom they don’t mind being popular and whom they want to go down in ranking. And from their editing of Yongguk I would say that they’re quite partial towards the idea of him going up. I mean they provide sad music over his interviews, they show him practicing for ‘Nayana’ to highlight his progress (I think he’s always been good, it was just probably harder for him when Kim Sihyun left and he didn’t know that he was going to be quite popular), they show the trainers and trainees fall in love with voice. It’s one of the nicest editing anyone’s received on this show – it not only shows that he’s a nice kid but also points out his strengths. Considering all this and the fact that he is very good-looking, there’s a good chance of him receiving a higher rank next time. Yongguk will definitely get into the Top 35 (he’s already in it) and I personally would bet on him getting into the Top 22. However, I don’t think he has much of a chance of getting into the final group just because there are around 20 trainees already fighting for these 11 spots.

Skills – I already knew that Yongguk was a good vocalist and I was surprised that everyone else on the show was so shocked. He was good and stable during his evaluation stage, he was good and stable during the ‘Boy in Luv’ stage which garnered so much attention – how did his (and Gunmin’s skills) fly under the radar? Yongguk did the high note in the latter performance to boot. I guess his vocals do shine through more in a soulful ballad where he is also able to project emotions into his singing. Yongguk’s also a pretty clean dancer although I do think he lacked energy in both of his performances which isn’t terrible or striking. (By the way, Kim Sihhyun is also a good vocalist, I hope that Yongguk gains anough fans for their label to debut them after the program.)

 Joo Jinwoo (Rank 45 -> Rank 42)

Chances – It was nice of Mnet to give attention to Yongguk, it absolutely sucks that they barely gave any to Jinwoo. His rank is pretty consistent but it’s also quite below the cut-off line for the next elimination so that’s not a good sign, especially now that he didn’t really get any screentime in the sixth episode. If he didn’t have the ‘L’ sticker on his shirt, I wouldn’t have even realized that he was the leader – I would’ve assumed it was Yehyun. It’s also Jinwoo’s second time being the leader so I am sure that it was very much deserved, it’s a shame we didn’t get to see it. He is a great vocalist who actually got a chance to showcase that in this evaluation (unlike other less fortunate souls) but the only thing we get to see in practice is Seonglee beating him out of the center position. I think that Seonglee is a better vocalist but I also think that Seonglee is the best vocalist on the show and Jinwoo, while worse, is still better than many. You get to hear that in the performance but I don’t trust netizens to pick up on that without Mnet pointing it out. I have seen that Koreans commented about him under the video of the performance, although they mainly pointed out his looks. It’s nice to see that even the lower ranking trainees are getting attention – it makes me believe that even if you don’t get into the final group and even if the show is terribly biased and extremely stressful for the contestants, it might be beneficial for them in the end. It also helps that Jinwoo is from MMO and, considering Daniel’s and Jisung’s popularity, the label will probably (or at least should) debut a boy group after all this. This is a comforting thought because I really don’t think he will pass the next elimination.

Skills – As I said – he’s a good vocalist. That’s actually what I have written down about him after his introduction video. His voice might not be as explosive as some other ones on this show but I don’t particularly care about that. Jinwoo’s dancing is good for a trainee who wasn’t looking at the position of a dancer in the group.

 Kim Seonglee (Rank 46 -> Rank 51)

Chances – I am not too optimistic about his prospects on the show. Which is a shame because I do think he is the best vocalist this season (completely subjective). His ‘Call Me Baby’ performance had the same effect on me that Yeonjung’s ‘Into the New World’ performance had on me last season. But because a lot of focus was given to Moonbok and Hyunwoo, not many people really noticed him. And this time around a lot of focus was given to Yongguk. We saw that he got the center position and… That’s it. I will give it to Mnet – they did show everyone’s reactions to his last note but it’s just not enough. It’s really frustrating because any time that the camera focuses more than 5 seconds on him, you can see that he is really funny. He waves to imaginary fans during the ‘Nayana’ practice, he hilariously beats his opponent during arm-wrestling, he shows a very honest reaction to the vocal trainer being  more excited to work with the B-ranked kids. People keep saying that the group should have talented members and should have members who are good at variety. Seonglee is both!!! But we just don’t see enough of him for many people to fall for him. I am also going to assume that he doesn’t have his looks going for him (I am terrible at predicting who Koreans are going to find attractive) although I think he is a total bae. And again it’s nice to see that people did comment about him and pointed out that while Yongguk did great he wasn’t the only one. However, he’s probably not gonna pass this elimination and I have no idea what C2K is so I am pretty glum about his debut later on as well.

Skills – I’ve kinda already mentioned his singing twice, but I’m gonna praise it a third time because Mnet’s not doing a good job of it. Seonglee is simply phenomenal. I also would like to point out that he is probably the only one out of the top-tier vocalists this season who actually was A-ranked. And that is because he’s also a good enough dancer. Too bad we’ll probably lose him so early on.

 Kim Yehyun (Rank 40 -> Rank 55)

Chances – Yehyun’s story on this show had actually restored my faith in netizens at some point. Because while you are right to get mad at Mnet for evil-editing and being biased towards certain trainees when it comes to screentime, you also can’t deny that people have eyes and brains of their own. I personally try to pay attention to as many trainees as possible even if they have very little screentime and when I see some kind of drama I don’t let Mnet put ideas in my head – I make my own observations and come to my own conclusions. And the fact that so many people fall so easily for Mnet’s games just confuses me. But with Yehyun I was really proud of netizens. He didn’t get any screentime and Koreans still saw that he helped a lot of trainees in the F rank with dancing (despite not being the best dancer at all), saw that he actually moved up to the C-rank, saw that he was a skilled, hard-working and nice kid. And he went up 59 ranks from the second episode to the third which I though was very deserving (although I am a bit biased because I also really do like his looks – I’m starting to see that Koreans and I have really different tastes). In the last episode he got quite bit of focus in his group, second only to Yongguk. I don’t know Korean but it seems like he studied Musical Theory and basically took control of the rearrangement of the song. I did honestly think he was the leader. You can also tell that he is a really nice kid from the scenes of him talking to Yongguk, he is quick to praise all of the members, quick to reassure, and he always seems so sweet and earnest. I really cannot complain about his screentime this episode. But Mnet did focus more on Yongguk and I don’t know if viewers can focus on two trainees from the same stage who are not in the Top 22. And considering that he also fell since the fifth episode, I feel like he’s probably not massing the next elimination. I am pretty pessimistic about his chances of debuting as well, because I have not heard of Widmay prior to the show.

Skills – I love the tone of his voice even when he is talking. I thought he really lacked in dancing when I watched his rank evaluation but it seems like he is better than I anticipated. He did help the other F-trainees and he did go up to C after the re-evaluation. In ‘Be Mine’ he looked decent but he was also dancing on a hurt foot so it’s hard to judge.

PS. I don’t really care for ballads or ballad performances but even I have to admit that they did beautifully. I understand the comments saying that they are ost-ready.