#in this case none of the examples worked but they gave me the push i needed to find something i like so mission accomplished

[shiawasekai]

I was trying to figure out how I wanted to word a translation and......

Weblio??? Where the hell are you getting your sentence examples??

[that-ari-blogger]

The Cycle Continues (Protocol)

Protocol is an episode about the underling. The person victimised by abuse, and the point at which they break. Its an episode about loyalty and where that goes right and where it goes wrong.

The episode has a few scenes that are rich with storytelling and analytical potential, and those scenes are some of the best in the series.

It’s also an exploration of characters who haven’t had the spotlight before. Light Hope gets some backstory and character development that explores the concept of the robot in this context, and Kyle, Lonnie, and Rogelio get their priorities sorted.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

This episode is a box episode. The characters are trapped with each other and have to work out their differences. Adora is trapped with Light Hope. The Horde Mook Trio is stuck with each other.

This is usually the lowest budget of a live action series. The team has one or two locations to work with, and not many actors, so they put them together. But an animated series doesn't need to do this, because the budget for one location is the same as the budget for multiple locations, so it's a choice.

I want to stress that box episodes are some of my favourite episodes of television out there. Boom from the new series of Doctor Who is a box episode in which the eponym can't even move for the most part of the series.

Box episodes are limited, which leads to either amazing stories, or forgettable ones. There is no in between.

Protocol, by artificially making use of this format, gets all of the benefits of the characters being trapped together, with none of the limitations, which means its potential is really quite high.

This is Adora's poker face. This is it. She doesn't have another one. I wonder why people keep telling her she's an awful liar.

You would think that the title of Protocol has multiple meanings here, but it's actually exactly the same for all the characters. They are in a chain of command, and they are making a decision as to what to do. Do they follow the protocol, or do they do their own thing?

Starting with the Horde Mook Trio, the protocol is that one of them needs to go outside and fix the vehicle. The protocol says to prioritize the mission over themselves. The protocol does not care about them.

The Hord Mook Trio are in constant conflict with each other and with the protocol itself. Except, I don’t think that the two are separate, I think one causes the other.

She-Ra is a series about the cycle of abuse. That’s why the seasons are structured in such a repetitive fashion, and why the characters are the way they are. Even the villainous ones.

Catra is the obvious example, as a victim who lashes out in an attempt to feel powerful and therefore safe. But others fit this as well. Lonnie is mean to Kyle, for example, he is the butt of all the jokes and while I wouldn’t consider it abuse, the extent to which Lonnie takes out her anger on Kyle isn't the healthiest or most proportional.

Which leads to the protocol. Because what is a protocol but a set of instructions? An order given, a facet of the will of someone more powerful. In this case, the protocol is the hand of the Horde itself, and Catra who has become the face of it.

But I’ve talked too much about Catra in this post. More on her next season. For now, back the Horde Mook Trio.

I like to call this the Azula metaphor. Hair coming down over a character's face, especially when its asymmetrical, is a sign of diminishing sanity. It's a character action to put it back in place and regain composure. Hair as symbolism, Azula metaphor.

"I don't care. I gave you an order. Pick someone, send them outside, and fix it."

The trio exists in a setting that does not value their lives, and they react to it in different ways. Lonnie feels bottled up aggression that she can’t turn on her superiors, so she pushes it down on someone she perceives to be weaker than herself; Rogelio… well I don’t know much about him, I don’t speak lizard; and Kyle does something else. Kyle decides that if nobody will find his life meaningful, then he will, and he offers that mercy to his companions. It takes this episode for them to see it.

The trio are soldiers, they perceive the world in a might makes right system, and characters who are physically weak don’t mesh with that. But there are other forms of strength.

It takes strength to look at what you have been taught about the value of your own life, and to say “no”.

"Catra doesn't care about us. Adora left us. Everything they taught us in the Horde about loyalty is meaningless. Its everyone for themselves."

Loyalty is a fun concept, right? As a storytelling vehicle, there is so much you can do with it. Because it’s a completely amoral thing. Loyalty in this case is twofold and at odds with itself. Loyalty to one another or loyalty to the system.

The loyalty to each other is actively discouraged. They must send one person out to their probable death in order to further the goals of the Horde.

Alternatively, one of them can sacrifice themselves for the others, which is what Kyle does, and it’s the breaking point for Lonnie and Rogelio. Kyle cares about them more than the Horde does, and he nearly gets killed by the protocol.

Kyle hears Lonnie give a speech about how loyalty is meaningless, and selfishness is how to survive, and immediately proves her wrong. He acts selflessly to get them out, but he also makes them immediately try to protect him, against their better judgement.

Light Hope is a similar example of this. Because she’s a robot, she has programming. She has no personality other than that which was given to her. She is pure purpose.

This episode reveals that to be a lie. I’ve commented on Morla Gorrondona’s voice acting in the role before, mostly in how she manages to convey emotion through stoicism. But here we get a different take on the character, one more expressive and happier.

It reframes the previous performance a bit though, making the modern Light Hope seem repressed in comparison. The true version of herself was someone whom Adora could have befriended. Hold on to that thought for a moment.

This version of Light Hope claims to have no personality. That part of her "hasn't loaded yet", but in reality, she displays the richest sense of individuality she has had yet this series. She's fun, she's tricksy, she's oblivious. In other words, the "personality that hasn't loaded" is the personality that is acceptable. Also, this is a rare example of a story leaning into the neurodivergence coding to humanise its robot character. Maybe there's something about repression in that too.

The fact that Light Hope is a robot implies that she was made by someone, that being the First Ones, and we don’t really learn much about them except from what she tells us, and how she acts.

The Protocol made her forget her memories of Mara. Light Hope’s purpose could not exist with her own happiness. Light Hope was brought into this world by people who told her that her own life was not worth anything more than they decreed. In short, Light Hope too is a victim of abuse.

You may say “wait, Light Hope is a robot, she has a purpose. It's not denial of personhood if she never had it.” To this strawman, I answer the following: This episode shows Light Hope displaying autonomy and free thinking when disconnected from her programming. It shows seeking joy and learning new things. It shows Light Hope falling in love.

It shows emotions, reveling in learning a new thing, obvious sadness upon realising she's messed up, wonder at the sight of She-Ra.

It also shows her going against her code. She wants to help, she is kind. She finds the memory and goes looking for it to try and help. She's less perfect on a knowledge basis, but this version of the character makes up for it in effort. This character seems to want to help Adora rather than follow her instructions to the letter.

This episode shows Light Hope as a person, and then shows us her programming taking that away.

As a side note here, I keep describing what Shadow Weaver did to Catra and Adora as programming. She taught them specific responses to stimuli so she could control them. In the context of an autonomous person, that control is villainous. If we consider Light Hope to be an autonomous person as well, you will notice that this is exactly what the first ones did to her.

The scene at the end of Light Hope forgetting is her perpetuating her own misery. The only person who can hold up the protocol now is her, and yet she continues because it is all she has ever known.

You could say that this episode as a whole is a commentary on a system that prioritises stoicism and views emotion and attachment as a weakness and how that leads to abusive relationships. You could say that.

You could also say that this is an example of the self sabotaging nature of evil. By which I mean the villainy here, the abuse and the destruction of the memories to be more efficient and not get attached, not only harms the person perpetuating it, but it also hinders the goal.

Hey look. History repeating itself. Cyclical storytelling. It's almost as if I'm on to something with my analysis.

The happy version of Light Hope is one Adora can get attached to, someone she could befriend and trust. Just like Mara did. The end goal of this all was to earn Adora’s trust and make her into an obedient weapon, so that would have succeeded, right?

Except, that version of Light Hope would have got attached to Adora in return, just like it did with Mara, and judging by the present day. That didn’t end well.

Final Thoughts

Here is my hot take. This episode is one of the best episodes in the series… with the volume off.

This episode has some incredible visual sequences, and the storytelling is done so well through the animation alone. Adora is so well animated, Light Hope’s slight smile conveys her change of character so incredibly well.

But the dialogue is painfully redundant and that actively takes me out of the scene. With one exception, that being the scene with the flowers, almost every line in this episode feels like wasted space. The moment where the Horde Mook Trio try to save Kyle is undercut severely by the fact that they stop to tell you that Catra wants the armour kept safe.

Case and point, Rogelio’s speech is emotional and resonant, and nobody but Kyle and Lonnie can understand it. The emotion isn’t in the words but the reactions.

A lot of this comes from the fact that I don’t find any of the dialogue humour in this episode funny. Light Hope sideways is funny, Light Hope being silly about a bird is funny. You don’t have to point it out.

This episode goes out of its way to explain the plot beats and explain the jokes, and it doesn’t need to in order to get the point across.

If you want to prove my point, put on some music and watch the episode on silent. I recommend the soundtrack from Shadow Of The Collosus, but anything will do. It's amazing just the extent to which the entirety of the plot and humour can be done visually, and that the dialogue is really not necessary for either and, in my opinion, detracts from what was otherwise a genuinely brilliant episode of television.

Next week, I’ll be looking at the episode Princess Scorpia, and addressing a change in my own read of the character. So, stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[vino---delectable]

Our unintelligent squint (Ep 1, part 1/?)

Summary: the beginning of the pilot case, Zack chickens out speaking about the new intern.

Character pairings: Zack x reader, Booth x Brennan, Angela x Hodgins

Word count: 4.6k

Warnings: none

A/N: yay!! I told you I'd get to it! Btw, none of the sayings that don't have anything to do with y/n, or anything that goes to the case obviously don't belong to me.... I just find them necessary for my fic! If you haven't read my prologue, there is going to be a link at the bottom of the chapter. Enjoy!

[No one's pov]

It was late in the night. Zack and Dr. Brennan were still outside at the crime scene, Brennan looking over the remains, and Zack was shooting pictures. They felt in their hair a warm moist breeze blowing from the pond.

Dr. Brennan started speaking in her usual direct tone, "Remains are wrapped in four milled, flat poly-construction sheeting."

"PVC coated chicken wire," Zack added.

Brennan lifts the tarp, "weighted," She looks over the muddy remains, "That's why the body didn't surface during decomposition. The skeleton is complete but the skull is in fragments."

Booth rushes in to ask, "what can you tell me?"

"Not much," Brennan says, a little disappointed, "She was a young woman, probably between-," she takes a small breath, thinking over her best factual guess,"18 and 22, approximately 5'3, race unknown, delicate features."

"That's all?" Booth said, being sarcastic.

Brennan did a shrugging gesture with her hand. "Tennis player," she said.

"How do you get a pretty tennis player out of that yuck?" Booth sounded a little irritated.

"Epiphyses fusion gives age, pelvic bone shape gives sex…" Zack stated factually.

Brennan took over and said, looking over the spot on the body's shoulder, "Bursitis in the shoulder… Somebody this young, must be an athletic injury."

"when did she die?" Booth said wanting more facts. Also wanting to skip past her reasoning.

"Eeehhh," was the quick response.

"Eeehhh," was the even quicker, mocking response, "what does that even mean," he says in a frustrated manner.

Zack responds defensively toward Booth while simultaneously snapping another photo, "it means wait until our bug and slime guy takes a look," the light shines everywhere for a brief second, secretly flashing Booth in the eye.

"No clothing." Dr. Brennan notices.

"well you know, in my line of work, No clothes usually means a sex crime." Says Booth, acting like he knows the situation

And Dr. Brennan gives more insight, "In my line of work, it could also mean the victim favored natural fibers."

Zack speaks to Booth to demonstrate, making it an unknowing comeback, and walking around trying to get more angles, "your suit, for example, will outlast your bones by decades." Booth clearly couldn't tell, because he doesn't know this "squint," that Zack secretly had something on his mind. Brennan noticed, she's noticed it all that day… She just didn't know how to respond to it, so she focused on her work more intently, pretending not to notice.

"collect silt," Brennan orders to Zack, pushing herself up to her feet, "Three meters radius, to a depth of ten cm."

This time, right after taking another shot of the body, he looks at her anxiously and quickly. Before she gives Booth permission for the forensics team, she has to pause herself mid way, as he approaches closely to her.

"Mr. Addy, is there something that you need to say, because there's work to be done?" Brennan was startlingly frustrated, she clearly wanted things done quick and a hurry.

Zack gets in a whispering position, "you know about the new intern you wanted working beside me?"

"Yes, and I hired one. Miss y/n y/l/n. She starts tomorrow morning. I only did it because she was the only one you full heartedly recommended last year."

"Mm." Zack tried to hold in being squeamish, "I did. But are you completely sure of her qualifications for thi-"

"Are you saying you made a mistake in saying that she was the best interview you had? Because I gave you the assignment of hiring another intern with hopes that you would be the one to find one that matches all the qualifications yourself, it was also to test your true reasoning, and good decision making, for those are the type of people fit to work at the Jeffersonian. If you were being lazy, or unsure, means I was wrong, and you weren't really ready. Is this what you're trying to tell me?" Well, she's not one to beat around the bush.

Zack thought, swallowed the lump in his throat, and replied rather standoffishly, "No, Dr. Brennan. I have no doubt in Ms. y/l/n's intelligence, expertise, capabilities and ambitions. I just hope I was right , and didn't look over her resume or personal background too soon."

"Well, that's rather unlike you Mr. Addy. You need to adjust your self confidence to match your work." She turns and informs Booth that the forensic team can take the Plastic and chicken wire.

"Yes Dr. Brennan." Zack sighs, mainly to himself. Now that he pushed himself into it. He had to fix this. This means he must do his best to see y/n first thing , before anyone else gets the chance to. He has to, before it is made known what he hired into the Jeffersonian…

.

.

.

(Click for prologue)

[friendlystarfruit]

Are you able to infodump about being vegan now? It's okay if you can't.

hmm I will try I cant promise it will be super short , I have been vegan for 7 years now, I had already stopped eating a lot of animals because I was raised with animals as pets and it felt wrong , then I watched one of Gary Yudofsky's speeches and that gave me a lot to think about.

I did a bit of activism too , visited dairy farms for my anti dairy booklet that I illustrated and wrote, I also did work with DXE but I did not like their method of activism I preferred Aninmal Save but they really tough work emotionally.

Diet wise It just started to become natural , when I was unhealthy I was still vegan and when I was healthy I was still vegan just wholefood based, it got to the point I just never thought about it like you avoid foods you have an allergy too xD.

I began to read about aninmal rights theory down the line, this is where my position became much more grounded , like I already had the empathy not to want to cause sentient beings to suffer and I did not want to be the cause of ending a sentient beings life if I could avoid it but I had not thought of some of the irrational and contractionary basis we held when it came to aninmal.

The philosophiser Tom Regan had an impact on my views as well as he makes the case for animals being "A subject Of a life", they are not just plants or bacteria but beings with psychological centres , if I kick a tree or a dog it is clear which is a subject and which is a thing.

the Welsh philosophiser Mark Rowlands, his chapter "Arguing for One’s Species" in his book "Animal Rights Moral Theory and Practice"also give me a lot to think about where he gives an example of arguing with aliens vastly more intellgent than us not to farm us humans it is similar to the argument of marginal cases/species overlap. He also explores John Rawls Veil Of Ignorance with animals in mind.

So basically I have gotten to the point I see what we do to animals as one of the greatest atrocities of the modern world , we do unspeakable cruelty to animals in the billions a year and in the trillion for sea animals and we do so despite there being other options and in awful conditions. We are able to exploit animals because they are at our mercy, they are less intellgent and able to communicate or stand up for themselves and they are another species but if I had the mind of the cow I would still be able to enjoy life , feel pain and have a will to live, even if we can not live in a perfect world, we cant stop animals from harming each other especially to survive , we as moral agents can do better.

None of us our perfect though I totally get that , veganism is an important social movement for pushing for change for animals because it is about doing what you can to avoid exploiting animals the difference with other hardships under capitalism is while reforming the tea industry will allow consenting adults to work for money , reforming the aninmal food industry will always be involve exploitation and mass murder =(

Honestly I think if we get lab meat on the go our future ancestors will be like wtf when looking through history books, until then I hope more people make changes before that.

[paranoid-poppies]

Hey

This post will be ***Temporarily*** be pinned, replacing my about me post.

so my (now ex) boyfriend broke up with me OVER TEXT on the 2nd of August, claiming he has poor mental health (been known buddy) and that it would be good for the both of us to not be together because he "can't be the best boyfriend" to me in his current state and that I deserve better. Will be accepting any opinions in reblogs or comments on that whole thing. However! I came on here to share the letter I'm writing him before I officially stop putting in my now usual amount of effort into keeping any kind of relationship alive. Be warned, it's quite the tome.

Here ya go:

You’ve evidently come to the conclusion that you’re “ready”, however you interpreted the word. Or maybe you just opened this because you felt like it. Or it’s been a long time since I gave this to you. Maybe you were feeling nostalgic, as you’ve received more personal letters from me than really any modern person normally does. Or we’re together and I pressure you to; or you do so of your own will. Perhaps some other, unlisted reason. Maybe you never open this; and I’m writing all these words for only the universe to see. At the end of the day, speculation only goes so far, and none of it really matters because I’m going to say the things I want to say anyway. The stuff I never said out loud, because I knew - and you told me - that you weren’t ready. And eventually I realized you might never be ready.

I’m not going to try to be poetic or anything, so I’m sorry if you enjoyed that aspect of my past letters. This is just going to be me. I’m going to say thoughts and feelings and facts and everything of that sort because this may very well be my only and last opportunity.

I’d like to start with some apologies, you deserve them.

I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t talk to me. Even if you won’t admit it, it’s true.

I’m sorry I couldn't be there for you those 3 years. The 3 years before me that you told me you’ve felt empty through and ever since; like there was a void somewhere inside of you that I couldn’t fill as much as you wanted or needed me to.

I’m sorry you feel you have to do this alone. I know you won’t seek professional help, you’re prideful and strong and stubborn. Even when it hurts you.

I’m sorry that you feel the need to put on a mask of happiness. That destroys a person. I know how it is. I did it for two years. I’m still working on it to this day, especially now.

I hope you accept them. If not for yourself, then for me. Or at the very least for the sake of remembering and learning from us.

To start with the main body of this letter, I’d like to preface with a recognition that maybe you think this is overstepping some boundaries. In that case, I’m sorry. Truly. But, I can’t say nothing. It’s not in my nature to let words as important as these sit dormant forever, bubbling over into the nights of the future as tears. I want this to give me some closure, and maybe you’ll get some too.

I’m not perfect at communicating by any means. I try my best, and it’s either enough, or it isn’t. And I know you’re not perfect at communicating either. You have trouble expressing a lot of things and mustering up the courage to talk about them, and I have trouble saying the important stuff out loud. This letter, for example, which by the way, I’m sorry isn’t handwritten. It’s just much easier to organize thoughts here and make changes. Case in point.

Anyway, I think that’s part of the reason you decided that breaking up was the answer. You had been sitting on that text - or at least idea of a breakup - for some time. It was obvious. I’m not dumb. But I also don’t know a lot of things. Maybe I would’ve drafted that same message in your position. Still, I maintain that I don’t believe pushing someone away - who has continuously expressed want and interest in helping your mental health - was the solution. But I’m not you and I don’t control you. We were and still are equals, both human, and that means a breakup is a breakup, an end is an end, no matter how much I hate it. As much as I wish we had talked more before coming to an end, I understand that to you it might have been something inevitable (I’ll touch more on “inevitable” later). Perhaps that is part of the reason, however small, you were so firm on your decision. I’ll never entirely know or understand what brought you to your conclusion. I can only speculate about what I did or didn’t do, what I could’ve done to change this future because it currently doesn’t contain quite enough of you.

The - probably obvious - truth is, I miss you terribly, and I promise I’ll only use a bit of this letter to wallow in my longing. You were the light, as horribly cliché as that sounds. Merely thinking of your smile can bring me to the verge of tears. I catch a glimpse of faceless hair that only resembles yours, my heart stutters and suddenly I’m clasping my hands together, begging any Gods that will listen. Heads turn in this temple as my knees bleed onto the stone, words leaving my mouth faster than the blood can find its path through the crevices. Not one worshiper listens or understands. Those familiar rich brown curls turn a corner and I’m lost again, standing among people who might never know anything like what we had.

As guilty as I feel, I know time will move steadily forward, and all this passion may or may not fade. But for the time being, I have learned from this pain; it takes a lot of energy to understand that things are often more beautiful when you know you can’t have them.

I can’t count on my hands the number of times I have lamented to a close friend just how much I miss being able to watch you. How desperately I want to be able to just look at you freely and trace the lines of your face with my gaze again. I keep the moments I treasure and miss most to myself though. Like the thought of dragging my finger down the bridge of your nose as we lay together quietly. I dream of brushing my thumbs over your cheeks and pulling you towards me for one last kiss goodnight through the car window again.

I wish I had made you stay in that car longer. Begged you to sit with me for even just five more minutes. I wish I had mustered the patience I know I am capable of, instead of demanding a change I know is difficult. Maybe if those moments had moved slower, I could have saved us.

We are (were?) teens. I recognize, maybe don’t fully understand, that you might not have wanted something as serious, committed, adult, as I did. My parents raised me intentionally or unintentionally to believe that romance is reserved for adults. I didn’t plan or even think of having a boyfriend in high school, perhaps not even in college. But then there was you.

At first I just wanted to be friends with you. To share memories and talk and play games. That’s it. At some point that changed. I don’t know when; I don’t know exactly why. I just know one day I woke up and wished you were there too; Peaceful and warm, morning breath and all. I wanted to do with you what spring does with the new blossoms.

You couldn’t know this of course. What if you didn’t like me like that? What if it made you hate me? And if by some miracle, you liked me of all people back, what would happen then? I didn’t know anything. I couldn’t, and I still can’t, wrap my head around the fact that someone, much less you, would ever want to kiss me or hold my hand or even be associated with me. It still takes my breath away thinking of the first time you kissed me. However small and quick and inconsequential it was, I would have been happy with that being my last first kiss. I won’t be in history books, but if I am, I hope they say you were the first one to love me. As long as they get that right, I don’t care what else they say.

I do know I was mean sometimes, and I hope you know it was only playfully, in an affectionate kind of way. I could talk to you for hours and never get tired of your voice, your laugh. And I could never get tired of seeing you smile. I don’t think I could ever get tired of you, not at all, and I believe that still holds true. Around you, at times, I was also sad and overwhelmed and everything in between and all the better feelings. And you were there for me. You stayed with me; helping and hugging me all while standing in the shadow of your own emotion. You’re strong like that, in an irresponsible and dangerous way, but strong nonetheless. In my past I probably would have admired your walls, your defenses. But I’ve forced myself to acknowledge, and try to understand, that nothing good comes from shoving clutter under the bed and calling your bedroom clean.

Putting aside the aforementioned first kiss, you could’ve just wanted a fling. I don’t know. I likely never will. And I’m sorry if I was crazy or overbearing. We are (were?) just teenagers. The movies say that high school sweethearts don’t last. But I foolishly thought otherwise. I threw myself into our relationship carelessly, letting my guard down because I finally felt secure in some capacity. Not only about myself, but about my potential future. I recognize maybe I feel, and therefore love, a bit too deeply for our age, and perhaps that scared you away. We are (were?) (Are you getting sick of that uncertainty yet?) teenagers and I accept the fact that we have differences in how we experience life and more specifically, love.

You’ll get through this without me. You’re not completely alone, and you know that even if you won’t admit it. Every day, you’re pushing me further away, and even though every bone in my body wants to follow you and grab your arm and pull you back towards me… I don’t. I resist the best I can. I’ll stay right here. Right where you know I’ll be. Working on my patience and hoping that at some point I might see your smile again instead of your back. What I’m trying to say is that I’ll be here for you. Because I know you want to change. And I know that you are capable of becoming who you want to be. Someday maybe you’ll feel brave or you’ll (unnecessarily, because you were and always will be good to me) deem yourself good enough and you’ll be able to summon even more of that strength and courage to reach out. Don’t be afraid. You taught me that some fear is unwarranted.

You said you need help, and as much as I want you to seek it, I know you probably won’t. You’ll let your emotions fester until something like this happens again, and then maybe you’ll learn that recognizing and letting some thoughts and feelings out, even if it’s just a small amount, helps. Cry. Scream. Destroy something. Those are better than nothing. You said that you need help and I believe you do, I just don’t believe you’ll act on that, and a part of me wants to hate you for it. I won’t let that part of me infect the memories of you though, I can’t do that to myself. So you can break that promise - if you want to call it that - and I’ll hold my hands over the ears of my heart so that it doesn’t hate you.

I need you to know that I am grateful for your time in my life, however brief that may be. It was invaluable, and I know I’ll spend the rest of my time on Earth seeking something that even rivals what we had. You have taught me incredible things about myself, life, love, and the world. These uncertain days will pass, you and I could become nothing or something. I have no way of knowing. I do know that your chapter of my life will always be dogeared, as it will most certainly be my favorite for a long time.

However far into the future we have moved between the time I gave this to you and now, when you are reading it, - perhaps we have grown apart, or perhaps we couldn’t possibly be closer - I want you to know that I have, and always will, wait for you. What we had might be forever unmatched. It’s not often you stumble upon someone you have so much in common with. So like I said, I’ll wait for you. Even if you just want to be friends again. The kind that FaceTime in silence just to know they’re not alone. Or the kind that do everything together. Or the kind that share fears and trauma and everything that makes life wonderful. Or the kind that get together once every few months just to laugh. Call me, because I’ll wait for you. I still care for you at this moment, and I probably will forever to some extent. To be clear, this isn’t me telling you to do anything. It’s me saying that if you want to, I won’t stop you. My pets and friends will hear me cry on my bedroom floor, but they won’t hear me ask you to come back. It’s not fair at all for me to ask that of you.

I'll start to wrap it up here. For now, this is the most closure I believe I will get; An envelope containing barely a cup from a sea of thoughts and emotion. I think there are beautiful things waiting for you. You just have to be looking for them. And amid the beautiful parts of your future, if you find an old picture of us, and clear away the dust, I hope you miss me at least a little. Maybe that’s selfish, but it’s human. Perhaps we would’ve worked out in another universe.

As I write this letter - which has consumed several days - I’ve slowly but surely begun to accept the fact that you might never greet me again, or text me asking to FaceTime, or smile my way briefly in passing. In this new reality, I find the only direction to move is forward, and I can’t do that until I accept this fate. I hope that acceptance will come soon because the pain of not knowing you is unbearable. All of this will fade slowly and ache like a wound. As macabre as this metaphor is, I hope you leave a scar because its story would be the loveliest of them all.

Every choice is the right one, remember that. All of them will lead you to the future you’re meant to have, the people you’re meant to love, the lessons you’re meant to learn, and the ways you’re meant to change. To be loved, is to be changed after all. I hope that void gets filled by something or someone. I hope you smile a lot, and find the people and things and love that make life worth living. Above all, I hope you’re happy wherever all that may be.

My last act of love will be letting you go.

That's it! Names were excluded obviously. Let me know if there's any changes, major or minor, to be made. Any and all feedback accepted. Please don't invalidate or disregard my emotions and feelings simply because I'm a teenager. I know what being in love is like. The fact that we are both under 18 doesn't mean that we are incapable of feeling deeply, just as I state in the letter. Every day I wake up and miss him and I can't imagine us being with anyone else and I wonder if I'll feel this way for the rest of my life. I think that's about as in love as in love can be, and us being under 18 doesn't render that meaningless.

I am still unsure if this will be given to him. I have been advised by irl best friend to not do it but she also acknowledged that ultimately it is my choice so I’d like to get some more opinions if people are up to it. Hopefully a consensus is reached soon? Or is that too much to ask?

[ehud1564]

This is the result of my "From Nand to Tatris" test:

0.0/-10.0 (code = 'q1_correct') Q1: Your answer is correct, well done!

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q1_total') Q1: Your total for this question is 10.00/10

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q2_two_corrects') Q2: You chose two correct answers, well done!

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q2_total') Q2: Your total for this question is 8/8

0.0/-12.0 (code = 'q3_correct') Q3: Your answer is correct, well done!

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q3_total') Q3: Your total for this question is 12.00/12

-0.34/-1.0 (code = 'q4_efficiency') Q4: Your code is not efficient. You used 29 rows.

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q4_total') Q4: Your total for this question is 11.66/12

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q5_all_correct_choices') Q5: You answer is correct. Good job!

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q5_total') Q5: Your total for this question is 8.00/8

-5.0/-5.0 (code = 'q6_compilation') Q6: Your code did not compile. Your code is invalid and gave the following error: ERROR: In Question.jack (line 11): In subroutine search: Expected )

-1.25/-2.5 (code = 'q6_correctness') Q6: Your code failed the following tests: test1, test2, test3, test4, test5. For example, you failed the following test: Expected: | RAM[20000] | RAM[20001] | RAM[20002] | RAM[20010] | | 5 | 7 | 9 | 0 | Got: Your code is invalid and gave the following error: ERROR: In Question.jack (line 11): In subroutine search: Expected )

-2.0/-2.0 (code = 'q6_efficiency') Q6: Your code is not efficient.

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q6_total') Q6: Your total for this question is 3.75/12

-8.0/-8.0 (code = 'q7_no_corrects') Q7: No correct answers.

4.0/-4.0 (code = 'q7_correct_middle') Q7: Your answers are incorrect. However, we have decided to give you a partial grade. +4

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q7_total') Q7: Your total for this question is 4.00/8

-1.0/-1.0 (code = 'q8_push_constant_0') Q8: You did not push constant 0 to note void return value.

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q8_total') Q8: Your total for this question is 11.00/12

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q9_two_correct_answers') Q9: You answer is correct. Good job!

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q9_total') Q9: Your total for this question is 10.00/10

0.0/-8.0 (code = 'q10_grade') Q10: You chose choice 2. +8

0.0/0.0 (code = 'q10_total') Q10: Your total for this question is 8.00/8

In case you didn't want to add this up, I got 86.4 something. It is rounded up, so I got 87 on this test. Which is not bad.

I have a bunch of complaints.

First of all, the fucking condescension of "Your answers are incorrect. However, we have decided to give you a partial grade. +4". You fucking Bitch. That question was not fucking fair. Clearly you agree that memorizing mnemonics isn't reasonable. Because in the cheat sheet you gave us the mnemonic for C instructions!!!! Not a signle of the tests from last year asked about this obscure mnemonic, and I couldn't have possibly memorize it! How the fuck did you expect me to remember that! Shame on you fuckers.

Secondly. In Q6 they say multiple time my code did not compile. I promise you I tested that my code compiled before I submitted the test. I took my answer out of my exam notebook right now, and tried to compile it. And it fucking compiles! I can now see that I forgot two pairs of brackets, and without them, the code just dose not work. But you already took off points for that for none of the tests working out!!! What the fuck!

Thirdly. They took of a point on question 8 because I didn't push 0 at the end of the program. I used a trick I saw the school solutions used on previous test solutions: I declared the function uses one local variable. This pushes 0 at the start, so that when function returns, the last value on the stack is zero. So it returns 0. I agree, it's a stupid fucking trick, but I only used it because the school solution 0.

To summarize, none of this was fair, and I'm going to commit murder.

[vaudreuil]

Blog entry 1

1

When They See Us is a true story following five falsely accused black and Latino teenagers who were victims of our country's corrupt politics, which ultimately allowed this absurd accusation to develop and damage the lives of all five boys and their families. “The Central Park Five” is the title the public gave these innocent boys who were convicted of the rape and attempted murder of a young woman jogging in the park while the boys (and many others) were also there. When arrested, all five boys were coerced by law enforcement to give false statements blaming each other for the rape that none of them witnessed. This case was argued in front of the jury by the New York district attorney, who was very aware of the lack of evidence and illegal actions that occurred to get confessions. Nonetheless, all five boys were sent to juvenile detention or prison and were forced to endure extreme suffering for crimes they did not commit.  

This short series does an excellent job of pointing out one of our focused topics throughout the semester; awareness of what “white” means. We see this through the inhumane treatment of the boys by law enforcement, who seemed to genuinely believe that they did nothing wrong. This concept throughout the show allows viewers to check themselves, maybe asking, “how would I have acted in that situation” or “would I have agreed with this”. Being white is a privilege as we have learned in this course. The color of your skin naturally dictates people's opinions of you in addition to the privileges you are freely given. This concept is demonstrated by the law enforcement official's ability to believe innocent boys were guilty simply because of their skin color. Officials had preexisting biases and judgements that made it extremely easy for them to place blame on someone who fit their imagined description. 

2

Throughout When They See Us, several different racial and ethnic identities are portrayed, allowing viewers to look into the intersectionality that works against the Central Park Five and other characters. Specific examples from the series the demonstrate intersectionality include race, gender, sexual orientation, occupation and disability. Race is the first and most outstanding example. Countless times during the four episodes we see racism at work, whether it is structural, interpersonal, institutional or internalized. In week seven, we learned about stereotyping in pop culture and the post-civil rights African American stereotypes, which include the pimp, drug addict and convict (African Americans and U.S. visual culture, slide 47). It is my understanding, that law enforcement and all who found the five guilty, were doing so based on their understanding of racial and ethnic stereotypes, not their understanding of the case and evidence. The series also touches on the cultural diversity within the prison system. One of the children is adopted by the Muslim group and is taught about his religion. Later this group is compared to the general juvey population.  

3

When They See Us does an excellent job at pushing viewers to question the actions taken in the situation, and point out the acts of racism, elitism and white privilege. During ART 150, students are encouraged to reflect on personal experiences to identify forces working for or against them. While watching this show, all I could think of as a viewer was that I wish some of the characters could reflect on themselves and what factors are influencing their opportunities and beliefs. During some scenes, the white characters reminded me of the “Couple in a Cage” performance we reviewed in week 7. Based on the extreme assumptions white law enforcement characters were making, led me to imagine them looking at the five boys as the couple in a cage. The white characters observing the children from a perspective of power and authority and believing that the children did outrageous acts just because of who they are visually.  

Johnston, Tamara (2023). Week 7 African Americans and U.S. Visual Culture. [lecture ppt] ART 150. 

Taylor, Dianna (1998). A Savage Performance, Couple in a Cage. New York University and Massachusetts Institute of Technology.  

DuVernay, Ava, et al. When They See Us. Netflix, 2019. 

[iwadori]

hello! I love your works so much! Can I request an angst to comfort scenario for #21 on your prompt list?

“It’s my fault for trusting you”

Feel free to use whichever character(s) you like!!

When the haikyu boys neglect you for another girl PT 3

Part One Part Two Part Three Part four Part Five

Word Count: 2.7K

Genre: angst,fluff

masterlist

Akaashi

You and Akaashi were beautiful people

Probably the most attractive pair of young adults that anyone can find

You were both top tier models in the industry

You always had a little rivalry between you but you always promised each other to never let it affect your ‘relationship’

“Beautiful darling, your beautiful” praised your photographer as you finished your shoot giving you air kisses on your cheeks. You thanked him and the rest of the staff and entered your dressing room sighing.

“Rough day?” Asked a voice, startling you a bit. You looked up to see your boyfriend, Akaashi Keiji sitting in the corner of your dressing room on a love seat.  

“Gosh Keiji you scared me” clutching your chest dramatically “But yes, the day has been tiring Fabio has really been overworking me lately” you complained. Akaashi walks towards you and gave you a peck on the cheek “Aww poor baby” he cooed mockingly, “but don’t worry ‘bout it Y/N your sucess will be all be worth it eventually” he says making you smile.

“and besides, you’ve got a shoot with me soon anyways” he winks, making you chuckle. You finished removing your make-up as Akaashi tells you about his shoot today and Bokuto’s (your fellow model friend) antics.  

You and Akaashi first laid eyes on eachother when you were both up and coming models, you both are under the same company. At first, both of your agents decided to make you spend time with each other to push the narrative of you being a couple anyways. However, since you and Akaashi had great natural chemistry it made your relationship great and made for a great photo too.  

As much as the public loved your relationship and the saucy photos you tend to make together, they also thrived of the slight rivalry you guys had together or the times when you guys bother shot with other people (since it was easy for a fan to make a new ship off of two people literally standing next to each other.)

You spent the next day having what you and Akaashi called a ‘rest day,’ you both specifically clear your schedules for every 2nd and 4th saturday of each month to not do any work-related for the day and just bask in each other’s companies (as you were both busy and barely got enough time to see one another.)

You watched multiple movies, made your own homemade cookies and dinner, had pillow fights, built forts. You both were having so much fun, until you both got a call...Just then, the vibe changed you went from your free-spirited fun selfs back into work mode.

Your agent told you that two brands *Insert big fashion designer brand here* and *Insert another big fashion designer brand here* were having some form of standoff. To be honest, you didn’t really care about the context of the shoot(s) in this case, as your agents call ruined your day. They wanted you and Tsukishima Kei, to do some competing shoots and promotional videos for their brand against the other designer.

After getting all your information from your agent, you go back into the living and see Akaashi sitting down thinking deeply about something. “What was your call about?” you inquire sitting down next to him.

“Oh just some silly designer brand competition thing.” he mindlessly replies, still thinking deeply.

“Yeah same. So what’s got you thinking all deeply then?” you ask

“My fellow model is going to be Kiyoko Shimuzu” he sighed, making you blink repeatedly before immediately saying “You can’t do the shoot”

Kiyoko Shimuzu was japans beauty. Everybody loved her, she’s been a model since she was a child everyone wanting a grasp on her looks. The guys wanted her, the girls wanted to be here. Kiyoko Shimuzu was a force to be reckon with.

The real problem at hand wasn’t her stunning looks, popularity and fame. It was her connection with Akaashi. Before Akaashi went big and met you, he was Kiyoko’s boyfriend (well ex-boyfriend now) and they broke up because of long-distance or something like that.

However, to you, Kiyoko’s feelings for your boyfriend have never went away. Whenever you guys bumped into each other at red carpet events or runway shows, she always seemed to linger a bit too long around your boyfriend, which definitely wasn’t to your liking.

Akaashi lifted up his head from inside his palms and looked at you as if you had grown another head. “What do you mean, ‘I can’t do the shoot’” he asked in disbelief

“I mean, you can’t do the shoot” you reiterated not understanding why he didn’t understand.  

Akaashi sighs before putting his face back in his hands to think, “Well I know you got to the shoot aswell Y/N who’s yours with.”

“Tsukki” You said nonchalantly say as if it was nothing, making Akaashi look at you again as if you were fully crazy before he had a chance to speak you cut him off saying “Don’t even start Akaashi.”

You and Tsukishima Kei, have best friends since you were kids. You weren’t romantic in any way shape or form, well at least you weren’t. Akaashi always claimed that that Tsukishima was in love with you, that you and Tsukishima were the perfect example of every ‘childhood friends-lovers trope’ ever, which to you wasn’t true. Everything between you and Tsukishima was and still is completely platonic which you can’t say the same for Akaashi and Kiyoko.

“You’re not doing the shoot” he says firmly as if he was your father.  

“Oh so you can do your shoot with your literally EX GIRLFRIEND, but I can’t do mine with my best friend... yeah make sense” you say standing up, astounded.

“Y/N chill, If you’re so adamant about me not doing it with Shi- Kiyoko, then I wont” he says pulling your arm down making you land on him “and you better not do it with ‘Tsukki’” he mocked.

“Okay so none of us are doing the shoots?” you ask looking up at him  

“Yup” he says  

“Pinky promise,” you joked sticking out your pinky in his face.

“Pinky promise” he agreed hooking his finger around yours.

For the next month it seemed you were booked busy, you barely got to see your boyfriend as his agent had him running around all of Japan and even had him booked in some places in Europe for this month. Of course, you missed him, but you understand how busy it can be doing your line of work. You’ve been quite busy too, doing the usual shoots and runways.

Although he was busy, Akaashi basically went radio silent on you. You still expected him to reply to some of your messages or at least call once or twice when he had the chance, since he must have 10 minutes of break time and that's the bare minimum.

It’s been two weeks since you last saw Akaashi (and that was on your saturday rest day) and you were expecting him to come over today so you could have another. Since of course, Saturday ‘rest days’ were basically a tradition for you and Akaashi before you even started dating.

You had no text from Akaashi explaining his lateness/absense, so you just figured he wasn’t coming putting a damper on your day. You spent the day lounging around and shoving your face with your favourite snacks and food.

You get a text from Tsukishima which read:

Tsukishima: 1 Image Attached  

Tsukishima: Looks whose boyfriend stumbled on set...

You didn’t respond as you were shocked at the sight you saw, the image was a picture of Akaashi and Kiyoko on set doing shots for the *insert the other rich designer brand* the shoot that you both agreed you wouldn’t do, which was also a LINGERE brand.  

You felt betrayed, you both agreed to not do the shoot and it’s not like you did do yours. You made sure to turn it down the day you made your agreement. And he skipped on your traditional saturday ‘rest day’ without even giving you any word of him not planning on arriving.

You didn’t know what to do, do you confront him about it? Or do you wait for him to approach you? Since he would plan on telling you about this right? You eventually messaged Tsukishima a ‘thanks’ and you decided how you were going to handle the situation. Pop up on Akaashi and Kiyoko at the photoshoot.

You knew where it was at, since you had the address already from when your agent first offered you the idea. You drove to the place in a breakneck speed, strutting in there like a woman on a mission (which you technically were.) You decided to wait in Akaashi’s dressing room, not wanting to cause a scene at the shoot which would be bad for yours, Akaashi’s and Kiyoko’s image and would be a waste of the time of the staff and photographer there.

Akaashi finally finished the shoot and entered his room with a sigh not realising that you were sitting in the corner of his room. “Did you have a rough time?” you ask mockingly making him jump and his eyes widen as you were the last person he expected to be there. “Why so shocked, you weren’t expecting me?” you still keep the same mocking tone in your speech.

“Y/N I-” He started  

“Y/N what?” You interrupted “Y/N I’m sorry for basically ghosting you for a month? I'm sorry for doing a shoot with someone who I know is still in love with me? I’m sorry for lying to you? I’m sorry for skipping out on our rest day with no explanation on where I am?” you stare at him as he stares back speechless.

“Oh, am I missing something?” you continue “Oh yes ‘Y/n I’m sorry for doing the shoot that we both agreed that we weren’t doing’” you sit down and wait for him to reply.

Akaashi puts his head down in shame, not really knowing what to say. Because of his silence, you roll your eyes and get up fed up with his lack of explanation. Before you fully leave Akaashi blocks your way with slight tears in his eyes “I had no other choice Y/N, I had to do all those shoots and travel other places with Kiyoko because sh-”

“Wait, that’s where you were?” you shout “Gallivanting around the country with HER!” you extend your arm pointing outside the door before you turn trying to leave again.

“N-No No Y/N you’ve got to listen to me” he said putting your hands on my shoulder “She has something, on me and I-I couldn’t I can’t get out of it. It’s deeper than just a simple shoot.” You were confused but you were so upset you just didn’t want to hear it so instead of listening to your boyfriend you decided to say “you’re so full of shit Akaashi” making him gasp at your coldness and the use of his last name. “ but hey I guess thats my fault for trusting you”

You finally left the room and went to go get a breather for a second with tears sparking in your eyes. You leaned against the wall and whispered “fuck” frustrated with the whole situation. Making you jump, Tsukishima said “you should go talk to him you know.”  

“What do you know Tsukki” he cringed at the nickname

“I know more than you Y/N, just go talk to him.” he said making you squint your eyes at him wondering what information he held.

When you walked back to Akaashi’s dressing room practicing an apology in your head. But you paused your arrival hearing Akaashi talking to the one and only, Kiyoko Shimuzu in his room.

“Let’s face it Akaashi, now that I’ve got this sex tape of us, I basically own you.” she said to him making your eyes widen.  

You decided the smartest thing to do was to pull out your phone and record as much as the conversation as you possibly could. Because you could already tell Akaashi was in a bind.

“The next thing I want you to do is...” she continued acting as if she was thinking “break it with Y/N!”

“No certainly not Kiyoko, you’re going too far.” he said making you smile internally that he still defended your relationship. “Me and Y/N are definitely NOT breaking up.”

“Akaashi are you forgetting that I have something over you.” she pulls out her phone and she plays a video, which you can only assume is the sex tape. You can hear a bunch of moans and groans which made your stomache ache.

Tired of hearing this, you burst into the room and say “What the fuck are you doing Kiyoko”  

“Oh Y/N how lovely for you to join us...” she said with a smile, “I was just discussing with your ‘boyfriend’ plans for our next shoots.”

“I always knew you were a bitch.” you say shocking your head at her.

“What do you mean Y/N?” she says with a fake smile, not knowing that you were listening in on your conversation “Actually Akaashi was telling me something he had to tell you... isn’t that right Akaashi.” you both looked over at him and he was scared and speechless.

“Oh you mean how you’ve been blackmailing him for the past two weeks...” you accuse  

“You have no proof of that.” She taunted  

“Oh do I..” you rebuttal then pressing play on the recording you just took watching as both Kiyoko and Akaashi look shocked. Kiyoko scurries out the room knowing she’s been caught leaving you with a triumphant smile.

You sit down, gesturing Akaashi to sit next to you. “Akaashi, I’m so sorry for not listening to you earlier I felt so betrayed thinking that you went agaisnt out agreement, but I guess I was just being a self-obsessed bitch” you say with you now looking down in shame.

“Y/N” he says with you still not meeting his eye “Y/N look at me” he lifted your chin up so you met his eye “It’s fine, It’s completely fine you didn’t know of course you didn’t know, how would you know of sex tape I unknowingly did back when I was 16!” he exclaims “Its fine, we’re good” he pulls you into a hug and kisses you on the forehead.

After you both calm down, Akaashi explains how Kiyoko started to blackmail him and how the agency loved the idea of them two being together (not the blackmailing) as it created a jealousy storyline between you and her and how every time they met she kept proposing ridiculous demands.

“Also, how did you know I ended doing the shoot?” he asks

“Oh a little bird told me” you tease  

“You mean a 6ft2 bird with blonde hair and a shit personality.” he retorts making you laugh  

“Heyy don’t be so mean, if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t of came to save the day.”

“True, I’d give him that.”

Eventually, you and Akaashi go to your agency and present all your evidence and claims that Kiyoko was blackmailing Akaashi. Although they were upset, that Akaashi did partake in a sex tape they knew that they’d be an even bigger scandal if you presented your news that Japans sweetheart Kiyoko Shimuzu was blackmailing Akaashi Keiji. So the agency thought it was in everyones best interest if they got Kiyoko to sign an NDA saying that she will never bring forth or share the Sex Tape to anyone and she’ll agree to be dropped from the agency.

Your life was great now, with Kiyoko off your back and Akaashi being back to his usual self you couldn’t wish for anything more. You ended up doing the shoot persuading the design brand person (whatever the name for it is) to agree to let you do the shoot together instead of with other people. Both brands let you, because who wouldn’t want Akaashi Keiji and L/N Y/N to do a shoot together?

AUTHORS NOTE: this is the longest work ive written for a single character and i am TIRED lol..I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed my other works so I hope you enjoy this one.. to be honest I think with my works I start off strong and end shitly :// However I wanted to do something different today by making them models instead of students so I hope you like it. Now im off to read some fanfic so you guys have a good day!! <3 

[griffintail]

Could you do some dream team (separately) who’s friends with a male streamer reader, and they just think their really good friends, but after reader comes out on stream they go “uh oh, UH OH” and it’s some good old fashion pining.

Fair warning, I’m straight as a pole and not very educated about coming out or that kind of stuff in general. If I got something wrong, educate me please. I hope you enjoy it past that.

One of the boys

Pairings: Dream, Sapnap, Georgenotfound x M! Reader

Warnings: Light swearing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream

        Dream thought he knew everything about his friends. Especially with his pretty good friend, (Y/N). (Y/N) knew pretty much everything about him and he thought he knew everything in turn about him.

        Turned out, that wasn’t the case.

        (Y/N), the poor guy had been a pretty small streamer when he started to talk to Dream. Dream helped him out so much and was so nice to him, it was hard for the guy to develop a crush on the guy. He hoped to god he wasn’t super obvious about it but when the guy who you got a crush on has about nineteen million people watching him, there’s going to be at least one of them that picks up on it.

        Dream thought it was another shipping thing originally, just like with George. (Y/N) knew different of course.

        The audience just knew and found all the moments (Y/N) knew he had.

        When Dream would laugh, (Y/N) would often give a wistful smile. If someone would donate and ask if (Y/N) had seen his face, (Y/N) would brag he had but of course, go beet red thinking about it. He was also quick to join Dream’s side in any sort of disagreement.

        There…there were a lot of compilations.

        After a while, (Y/N) felt like his audience needed someone to look to with some of the stories they shared. So, he felt like it was time to finally come out.

        Dream was shocked to find out the information, to say the least. How had he completely missed this huge fact?! The faceless man was slightly concerned when he saw (Y/N) was streaming with “Serious Talk” as his stream title and tuned into the stream, finding out at (Y/N) talked to his audience about it. He sat there for a few moments as (Y/N) cheered some people on for coming out themselves.

        A few things started to make sense to Dream as he thought about it.

        “Oh.” He muttered. “OH!”

        Yeah, all of the push-away moments when (Y/N) had gotten awkward or quickly changed the subject away from different things involving Dream made so much sense now. So, when he ended his stream, Dream gave him a call.

        “Hey, what’s Dream?” (Y/N) answered, Dream able to hear him shutting down his setup.

        “I saw your stream.” Dream told him simply.

        (Y/N) paused from standing up in his chair. “Yeah?”

        “Yeah.”

        It was silent for a moment.

        “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” (Y/N) said.

        “It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

        “Really?”

        “Yeah, you want to talk about it over some Pizza hut?” Dream grinned.

        “What?” (Y/N) asked confused. “Do you have screw loose man?”

        “No, I’m buying you a plane ticket and we’re actually going to meet at a Pizza Hut because I’m not going on a Minecraft date.”

        And that’s how Dream wheezed for three minutes on the phone as (Y/N) sat there, brain having short-circuited off.

        They’d be fine.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

George

        George could kind of tell, about (Y/N), for a little while and would sometimes use this fact to fuck with him. He would do his usual stupid, flirtatious banter with him but that messed with (Y/N) more than he realized.

        (Y/N) felt like he was going to go nuts every time George would give his cute flirtatious comments. Chat knew too, and that just made (Y/N) feel like he was going to go even more nuts.

        Yet, when George did the same with Dream, (Y/N) felt jealous. If they were playing a game together and George and Dream were doing their usual fan service flirts, (Y/N) would sometimes be close by as Dream would somehow trip into lava or fall of a bridge. He didn’t know how it happened and snitches get stitches chat.

        After a while of this, (Y/N) started to gain a bit of confidence and threw it back and the shipping wars that followed after (Y/N) got confident was insane. Of course, while George’s were mostly joking, none of (Y/N)’s was.

        He eventually decided to come out after a while of his chat just piecing it together on their own and George wasn’t super surprised, mostly surprised that he had gotten it correct.

        Life went on as normal for a while but George started to see how differently his good friend acted around him. He thought it was just him being friendly but now, now it made more sense.

        “Hey (Y/N),” George said, coming up to him in-game as they were playing Minecraft on stream, big shocker.

        “Yo.” (Y/N) looked from his chat.

        George dropped him a cornflower and (Y/N) frowned.

        “What’s this for?” He asked.

        “Be my Minecraft boyfriend?”

        (Y/N).exe has stopped working.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sapnap

        Man wouldn’t know unless someone threw a brick at him with the truth scribbled on it. (Y/N) allowed himself to be obvious knowing this fact himself.

        (Y/N) chat constantly called him a simp because of it but he didn’t give two shits and just let them have their fun. They didn’t know yet anyway.

        He would constantly “jokingly” flirt with Sapnap, covering it to say that they needed to rival Dream’s and George’s relationship just in case Sapnap got the hint. He would actually blush though when Sapnap would play along and tried to play it off with chat. It didn’t help either when they were both a rather chaotic duo together and people called (Y/N) Sapnap’s flint to his steel.

        It was a bit heartbreaking to (Y/N) though that all the comments were one-sided and Sapnap didn’t know that he was actually being more serious than he had in his life. (Y/N) let it be though and he stuck to the “jokes” and reading some fanfiction; he got bored alright?

        Finally, though, (Y/N) wanted to lead by example when a few of his donators talked about being scared to come out. It was one of the few times (Y/N) was deadly serious with his chat, usually wanting to keep things light. The internet took it from there and Sapnap was more than shocked to find out about his friend from Twitter of all things.

 ...

         Sapnap @ sapnap

        @(Username) you got something to tell me?

        (Username) @ (Username) replying to @ sapnap

        I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious man.

 ...

        Sapnap stared at his phone for a minute and thought about it. Holy hell, it had been.

 ...

        Sapnap @ sapnap replying to @ (Username) and @ sapnap

        Well then are you going to stop beating around the bush and ask me out?

 ...

        (Y/N) replied with the clip of Dream falling out of his chair because he did that same.

[spunky-89]

All Power (Kol Mikaelson x Female Reader)

A/N: Woo a new fic! Cause updating or finishing old WIPs is apparently not as cool. Also, this fic is a bit of a crossover from Teen Wolf, not anything like major, just some references and such.

Word Count: 1.8 k

Warnings: None that I can think of

The air was tense in the courtyard as Kol stood protectively in front of his lover, facing off against his pain-in-the-ass hybrid brother. Elijah stood between the two trying to keep them from tearing each other apart. Freya was off to the side holding herself, feeling guilty for starting this disagreement.

“You come anywhere near her Nik and I swear it will be the last thing you do.” Kol threatened.

“I don’t like liars, especially not in the house where my daughter sleeps,” Klaus growled.

“You really think I wouldn’t make sure that my girlfriend had no ill intent towards my niece? Do you think that low of me brother?”

“Enough, both of you,” Elijah spoke, turning slightly to look at his youngest brother and his lover. “Now, would you care to share what this ruckus is all about?”

“I don’t know, ask Nik.” Kol spat, rage in his eyes.

“You stand there and make me the bad guy when it is your pet human that is lying and has been her whole time with us.” Klaus proclaimed.

“And how do you know this Niklaus?” Elijah inquired.

“Because I sensed it,” Freya spoke up, moving closer to the brewing storm.

“Sensed what Freya?” Kol snapped, becoming more and more fed up with the current situation.

“Something… off,” She tried, struggling to find the words.

“You need to do better than that sister, or else this is a waste of time because you have no grounds to accuse my girlfriend of anything.”

“Enough.” The woman came out from her position behind Kol and came to stand next to him. “Please just stop, all of you.” She requested.

“Darling?” Kol gave her a questioning look and she gave a heavy sigh.

“She isn’t wrong, I’m not human,” She started, avoiding eye contact and staring at the ground. “Well, not entirely human I should say.” She then looked to Klaus, “I’m honestly surprised you didn’t sense it. I mean typically wolves have a sense for this sort of thing.” She remarked.

“Get to the point, my patients is waning fast,” Klaus warned. As he did so, Kol took a threatening step forward, only to be stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Okay, calm down. The short version is I’m a werewolf.” The woman stated plainly.

“You can’t be, you’ve never turned on a full moon,” Kol stated, looking to his girlfriend in confusion.

“That’s because I’m a different breed and I’ve learned to control it.” She then gave a bashful smile at him and said, “I also happen to have an amazing anchor that keeps me grounded.”

“That’s it,” Klaus growled and sped at the supposed werewolf and pinned her to the wall, his eyes glowing golden. “Who are you?”

She saw Kol move to intervene but she shot him a look to let her handle this. She smirked as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, opening them to reveal her eyes were glowing a vibrant purple, wolfish features taking over her face slightly. And before Klaus could make a comment or move, she dug her claws deep into his side and rake them upwards, causing him to release her in shock. She used that moment to roundhouse kick him away from her.

“Who am I? Well, I’m someone you really don’t want to piss off.” She huffed, fixing her clothes.

Kol was looking at her wide-eyed, never having seen her like that before. He watched in fascination as her face shifted back to the one he loved so much, though the claws on her hands didn’t disappear.

While Kol was focused on her, she was focused on Klaus. She knew she just poked the sleeping bear, or well in this case wolf. She acted casual, but she was ready for a full-fledged brawl. She heard him let out a chuckle, and her heart went icy cold. She knew that kind of chuckle. It was the kind that told her she’d just pissed him off and he was amused by her attempt to hurt him.

“That was a neat trick, love,” He said as he stood back up to his regular height. “But you’ll have to do a lot better than that if you want to hurt me.” He growled as his eyes flared and he started to rush towards the woman. Before he could even get close Kol threw him to the other side of the courtyard.

“I told you Nik, not a hair.” He seethed, standing protectively in front of his girlfriend, who was now minorly terrified and clutched onto the back of his jacket.

“Maybe I should just go,” She murmured to Kol.

“Nonsense, you are still welcome here,” Elijah promised.

Klaus had gotten up and was getting ready to argue when Elijah cut him off.

“Why don’t we give the lady the benefit of the doubt. As it stands, if she had wanted to harm any of us she’s had ample opportunities to do so and has not. We shall hear her out before we jump to any more conclusions.” He stated, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Everyone was slow to move, but eventually, all were gathered in the seating area.

“What do you want to know?” The woman asked, practically perched in Kol’s lap.

“First off, how is there another breed of werewolf?” Elijah asked.

“Well, there’s actually a few. I’m from the French line of werewolves, whereas your brother is of the North American breed. As far as I know, the only other breed is English wolves. But there are many different shifters out there from many cultures. Kitsune, for example, come from Japan.” She explained as best as she could.

“How is it we’ve never heard of any other wolves or shifters before?” Freya asked.

“That I am unsure of, but I’ve met loads of different shifters and other creatures. Where I come from, it’s practically a beacon for supernaturals.”

“And you can control your shifts?” Kol piped up.

“Well for the most part. The way French wolves and shifters work is that you can shift at any time, not just on the full moon. But the full moon makes us more susceptible to turning. But for older wolves, it becomes easier to control your shifts. Whereas baby wolves tend to be much more at risk of turning uncontrollably.”

She then spent the next hour or so explaining the differences between the different wolf breeds and other supernatural creatures, although she never really explained what she was. It was actually Kol that brought up the question.

“Me? Well, I’m kinda a special case. I’m a werewolf, but well, an extremely rare one. It’s why I didn’t tell you who or what I was.” She explained, clearly nervous to reveal who she was. But with one squeeze of the hand from Kol, she sighed and started speaking, “I am the twin sister of Scott McCall, the True Alpha. I am his opposite in most cases which makes us an elite team that is nearly unbeatable. So I am what is called a Compliment Alpha. Part alpha, part beta, all power. It’s why my eyes are purple. It combines the red of an alpha’s eyes and the blue of a beta’s.” She explained, once again flashing her eyes.

“Does that satisfy you Nik? Or does she have to go through her life story before you trust her?” Kol asked, seemingly done with his girlfriend being interrogated.

“I swear to you I am no threat to your family. I didn’t even know of your existence until Kol revealed who and what he was. Vampires are kinda new territory for me. This is not some evil plot to harm you or any Mikaelson. You all have become my new pack, and you don’t hurt your own pack.” She swore.

“I shall allow you to stay, but be warned little wolf, I see even the slightest hint of your inevitable betrayal and I will end you and your brother.” Klaus threatened, but instead of being scared she just gave him a smile.

“I would expect nothing less.” She teased as she stood from the couch. “But just so you know, my old pack and I are hard to kill. Trust me, many have tried, yet here I am.”

Kol stood as well and took her hand as they left for her apartment on the other end of town. He pulled her close by her shoulder and kissed her head as they walked out of the compound.

-----------

When they finally made it back to her apartment, he could see her noticeably relax.

“I have to say, darling, I’ve never seen you kick ass before but I would love to see it again,” Kol murmured as he wrapped his arms around her waist and laid kisses on her neck. She giggled and tried to push him away.

“Stooop,” She whined as she tried to wiggle out of his grip.

Kol, unfortunately, refused to let her go and held her tighter as he relished in her laughter. Moments like this were his favorite because there was just joy in the air. All troubles forgotten and burdens lifted to make room for the contentment he felt when he was with her.

The two settled down on the couch and just sat cuddled up in silence for a while. Kol was the first to break it after about half an hour.

“Would you have ever told me?” He asked, looking down at his lover who suddenly seemed very interested in the couch.

She sighed and sat up. She hated this. She knew he would eventually ask this. And she dreaded it because she didn’t have a good answer. But she knew she had to give him something.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” She started, “My identity and my secret is the reason why I ran here in the first place. The danger became too great for my brother and me to stay together. We had to separate, at least for a little while. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” She paused as she recalled the day she had to say goodbye to her mother and brother. The physical pain she felt when she got on the plane without him. “I was scared.” she admitted, “I trust you, and I wanted to tell you so many times, but…”

“But what darling? Cm’on darling, I just want to know.”

“If my identity was found out, I would have had to leave again. Which would mean leaving you. And I couldn’t- I can’t lose you too. It would break me. Shatter me to a point that I would become volatile and dangerous to those who came across me. Because my heart’s been broken a few too many times for me to be able to come back from that.” She said quietly, not realizing that tears had begun to stream down her face.

Kol pulled her back into his arms and just held her.

“I swear to you my love, no one will keep me from you. Not even my brother.” He vowed.

[hanoella]

A Matter of Time (1/2)

Pairing: Bucky x healer!Reader

Word Count: Just under 3k

Summary: Healing others took a lot out of you. It was only a matter of time until it was going to be too much on your body.

Warnings: Hardcore angst, blood, grave injury, explicit description of injury, medical life support, needles? still not good at this stuff.

A/N: Another @wkemeup writing challenge prompt! Thanks so much everyone for all the love and support on my first fic!

Prompt: Believing they’re about to die, Character A confesses their feelings for Character B before they pass out.

---

           It was only a matter of time.

          Healing always took so much out of you. One day, it was going to be too much for your body to handle. You hadn’t explicitly told anyone that it drains you. Only the observant picked up on it. It’s the reason why Natasha never asked for your help with minor things. It’s also why Bucky plain refused your help nowadays. He was hyper aware of everything around him and that included you. He always saw the light sheen of sweat forming on your brow, the way you became slightly breathless, and the increase in your pulse. When there was a major injury, he was very well aware of the tell-tale signs of exhaustion.

          The very first time that he let you work on his shoulder, he had asked what it was like out of curiosity.

          “Well… it’s kind of like projecting the pain onto myself. I’ve always been very in tune with my body. So ever since this,” you pause to gesture with your hands. “I can usually tell what the problem is. For example, I can tell that this specific muscle is bothering you,” you say as you gently put pressure on the specific aching tendon in his arm. Bucky winced before feeling the warmth reach deep into his muscles. He let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Turning slightly so that you could partly see his face, he thanked you. For a reason he couldn’t understand, a big smile slowly developed on your face.

          “What?” He asked.

          “Nothing, I’m just glad you finally let me work on it. I can see now that you’ve been… suffering. I’m just happy you’re feeling better.”

          Bucky felt his face flush slightly and turned back to face forward. Amused, you started humming lightly as you continued your work.

           Not that he would admit it but since then, there may have been… other reasons why he is always paying close attention to you. You reminded him of Steve. Somebody who was truly selfless. The one to make the sacrifice play. You may be less on the forefront of the battles but the work and the sacrifices you make for the world were just as big. Bucky found that he admired you for that. It stirred up feelings in his chest that he chose to ignore. It also made him nervous.

           Every time you were needed, he was assigned as your bodyguard. You could handle yourself better than the average civilian, but you wouldn’t consider yourself a fighter. Considering that he preferred to stay out of the spotlight, as well as the fact that his relationship with the public was still rocky, it ended up being the ideal position for him. At first, he was nervous because he was protecting something incredibly important. More so than any jewel or riches that existed. You were someone that could practically bring someone back from the dead. If he couldn’t protect you, he was practically sentencing anyone who would need your help in the future, to death. Certainly, a weighty responsibility that would make anyone nervous.

           It grew to be more than that though. Each time he protected you from a threat, no matter how small, your appreciation made it worth it. Your gratitude, which manifested itself into words, notes, and small gifts, sustained him. He had a hidden drawer filled with smiley faces on post it notes and cute little Tupperware containers that had held homemade sweet treats.

          But his favorite reward was not anything he could bring back to his apartment. It was your touch. The small brushes against his arm grew into touches and squeezes. In turn, it grew into grasping his hand while thanking him and once, a quick hug before you jumped back and apologized. He blushed lightly and looked away, letting you know that it was okay, he didn’t mind. Actually, Bucky would’ve preferred for that moment to have lasted forever. Because when you pulled away, he was suddenly aware of how starved he felt without your touch. That one action had been the gateway to a life filled with longing. He would chase that feeling forever; He could not bear the thought of being without you. That’s what made him nervous. He felt like he couldn’t think clearly anymore around you. He was going to make a mistake.

          It was only a matter of time.

---

          Waiting in the Quinjet with Bucky, you listened for updates on the mission. This time, they had gotten intel about a subbranch of Hydra dedicated to chemical warfare. Fearing another threat like anthrax, you set out to stop it. Everyone was in the building and you were on standby in case any pathogens got loose. Wanda could contain it, and you could eradicate it by healing all of the infected, and then they could disinfect the area. Hopefully, though, it was just a precaution.

           The atmosphere was calm, the lights off since the night sky was clear in the mountains. Moonlight filtering in through the front windshield, you were taking Bucky through the latest playlist you had curated for him when Nat radioed in.

           “We’ve almost got the lab secured. No injuries.”

           “Word.” You radioed back casually as Bucky looked at you confused.

           You were about to explain the response and pull up urban dictionary when Steve radioed back as well.

           “We had a group escape, some guards protecting the head researcher. They’re headed towards the jet. He blocked off the tunnel he used to escape so they’ll get to you before we can reach him.”

           “Copy that.” Bucky radioed back as he got up.

           When you got up to follow him, he gave you a look.

           “Hey, don’t look at me like that! I’m not completely useless. Besides, I think I could take on a lab lackey.”

          “I don’t want you to get caught up in the rest of it.” He responded seriously.

          Looking at him and realizing it wasn’t up for debate, your expression sobered up.

          “Okay. Just be careful, please.”

          He nodded as he heard voices approaching. He headed down the ramp and met them outside of the jet. You peaked out of the opening of the ramp as he took them out one by one. When all five were on the ground, you came out and checked to make sure he was okay.

          “Wow, impressive.” You commented, nudging one of the guys with your foot.

          “Wait,” you said, eyebrows scrunching together. “None of these guys are in a lab coat.”

           Just as he was about to respond, he glanced to the side and quickly pushed you out of the way. The lab coat tackled him where you had just been standing. They went rolling towards the edge of the cliff and you shouted his name.

           “Bucky!”

           He kicked the researcher away from him while still on the ground. As the man started rolling off of the cliff, he grabbed Bucky’s leg. Bucky started scrambling to find a grip as the scientist slid off the cliff, trying to take Bucky with him. You ran over to the edge, grabbing Bucky’s arm to support him as he tried to kick the guard off of his leg.

           “With you out of the picture, the path forward will be successful. Hail Hydra.” He shouted as he grabbed a knife from his pocket and stabbed it into Bucky’s thigh.

           Bucky grunted loudly as the scientist took the knife out and stabbed it back in. You strained to hold him up as he struggled to kick him off, blood streaming down his leg. With one more heavy kick, the man lost his grip and fell down the mountain. At the same time, the force of the kick had loosened the ground under you. There was a crack and you locked eyes with Bucky in panic.

          You cried out as you used all of your strength to bring him back up over the cliff. It started falling away as soon as Bucky had found his footing and he lunged towards the jet while grabbing you. He held you with one arm and kept you from hitting the ground as the other forearm took the impact and held you both up. Looking incredulously at the strength of his arm and then turning your head back to look at him, he gently set you down. You were both breathing heavily as you lifted your head to see the platform you were just standing on was now gone.

           You laid your head back down and closed your eyes in relief. Bucky took the opportunity to take you in. Your hair formed a halo around your face perfectly as it was spread out on the grass and the moon’s light made you look like your skin was glowing. You looked ethereal. Before you got the chance to see him gazing at you, he flopped over onto his back next to you, catching his breath. You looked over at him, the stars now reflected in your eyes, and started laughing lightly. He didn’t know what you were laughing at, but it made him start laughing. As it subsided, you sat up and faced him.

           “Can I please heal those?” You asked, gesturing towards his leg. You had never worked on his thighs and you wanted to make sure he was comfortable.

           He paused, partly out of shyness and partly not wanting to tire you out. Your gaze lingered on the wounds and he saw how much it worried you. He nodded and you leaned over to take a look. As you moved the blood-soaked fabric out of the way, he winced. The wounds were deep and bleeding still. You focused your hands overtop the injury and concentrated. The soft white glow enveloped your hands and his leg. He watched as the bleeding started slowing. After a few moments, the wound started closing and the pain started easing. Bucky tried to get up as soon as it became bearable, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him. Though your breath was slightly strained, the determination in your eyes stopped him and he slowly laid back down. Soon enough, he couldn’t even tell that anything had happened. Once it was completely healed, you then flopped down next to him.

          You both settled, watching the clouds pass in front of the moon and stars. After you caught your breath, you spoke:

           “Bucky Barnes, I owe you my life. Several times over. Thank you.”

           “I think you’re the one who just saved my life, doll.” He said, amused.

           “Ooh, doll. Somebody’s finally warming up to me.” You said, laughter in your tone as you stood up. “Do you call every damsel in distress you save a doll?”

          The answer to that question was “no” but before he could respond, you held your hand out to him. Bucky sat up and accepted it, standing all the way up. As he let go of your hand, you wrapped your arms around his midsection, cheek resting against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Bucky swallowed and then slowly brought his arms around you, his chin resting on the top of your head. Content.

          Unexpectedly, he stiffened. Something was wrong.

          “Bucky?” You called his name hesitantly as you stepped out from his grasp.

          You peered at his face and saw his pupils so blown out that you could barely see the blue anymore.

          “Bucky!?” You shouted as he fell to the ground.

          He couldn’t control anything except for his eyes as muscles all over his body started twitching. You knelt down and panicked, laying your hands against his chest, searching for an explanation. You hovered your hands over his heart and felt it so tight and strained it was barely pumping. You felt as if you were choking, and you weren’t even feeling the full effect.

          Cardiac arrest. How is this possible?

          You racked your brain for explanations. You instantly thought of the researcher. You traced a strange substance you felt through his veins until you found where it originated- from the knife wound.

           Poison.

           At this point, it had reached his heart. What little it was pumping was spreading the poison. It’s completely taken over his blood. You locked eyes with Bucky and saw the pain and panic in his eyes, his clenched jaw, and the tendons in his neck, outlined clearly by the strain. He was suffering.

          No. Much worse.

          He was dying.

          You had to save him.

          You interlocked one hand over top of the other and started doing compressions on his chest. What was normally a soft white light was now blinding. You could see the outline of his heart, and with each pump, the white light travelled an inch down his veins. Slowly, with each thrust, the white light made it further and further out from his heart.

          “What happened!?” Steve shouted. You hadn’t even heard the team come back.

          “We saw the light and came back as fast as we could!” Sam said.

          You shrugged Steve’s hand off your shoulder as you continued compressions.

          “Poison.” You panted.

          Thump.

          “He’s-”

          Thump.

          “Dying.”

          Thump.

          You hadn’t realized you were crying. Tears now spilled freely onto Bucky’s jacket.

          Steve stayed kneeling next to you as the rest of the team stood back, watching in amazement as the light made its way through Bucky’s body.

          Bucky locked eyes with him. He placed a hand on Buck’s head and wiped the sweat off of his brow.

          “You’re gonna be okay, Buck. You’ll pull through.” He said with a small reassuring smile.

          It wasn’t himself he was worried about. He’d never seen you exert yourself this much. He was in so much pain but dying would be better than seeing you go through this.

          You shouted with each thrust, trying to keep yourself from tiring out and stopping. The white light had made its way back around to the heart and Bucky’s entire body started relaxing. You felt relief as he stopped seizing and his eyes started closing. As you wiped the sweat off of your face, you realized your nose was bleeding. Just as you were about to sit back, you froze.

          There’s no heartbeat. You desperately connected yourself back to his body and felt that his organs were shutting down. You started compressions again, this time more vigorously. You were going to have to filter his organs for multiple rounds to reach every part, every cell affected by the poison. You wailed, crying harder as you felt his ribs crack from the force and then heal, only to be cracked again. You were starting to get lightheaded, and your muscles were burning. You could not keep it up for much longer. Desperate to get him back, you call to Steve beside you.

          “Steve. There’s. Adrenaline. In. Jet.” You gasped between each push.

          Steve was so distraught between seeing the both of you that he didn’t move right away. Natasha instinctively ran to the jet and brought it back, digging through it until she found the syringe and uncapped the needle.

          Natasha knew she didn’t need to confirm whether you really wanted to do this.

          “Injecting now.”

          She thrust the needle into your thigh and clicked the top, releasing the spring and shooting the needle into the muscle.

          You wailed again in anguish, fighting through the pain until you felt it hit your heart. The light had turned into a pillar, a beacon in the sky. Your hair once again in a halo, floating around you. The team had to shield their eyes and brace themselves against the force that hit them. You put newfound strength into each push until you could feel that every single drop of poison was filtered out of his body. Finally, Bucky opened his eyes.

          You stopped pushing on his chest.

          “Bucky?” you asked hoarsely.

          He was still coming to but was well enough to sit up. He clutched at his chest and found no pain. He then looked at his hand.

          “How did you-?”

          You fell over.

          Bucky scrambled over to you and pulled you into his arms. You coughed against his chest, bloodying his shirt. He looked at you and then at Steve, mouth agape. Steve could only look sadly back.

          He cradled you and brushed the hair out of your face, blood from your nose and mouth smearing before being covered by the new blood steadily streaming out.

          “I’m sorry,” You said softly, the sleepy look on your face deceivingly masking the gravitas of the situation.

          “Don’t apologize.” He said quietly, pausing to keep the tears from showing. It proved to be pointless as his voice cracked, asking:

          “Why would you do this? You should’ve just let me die.”

          You closed your eyes.

          “Because I love you, Buck. Always have.” You slurred tiredly.

          You whimpered and then stilled.

          Bucky cried while rocking you in his arms.

 ---

Part II

          You opened your eyes to a black room. No, not a room. There were no walls. You glanced down at your hands. You could still see them so it wasn’t dark, just… black.

          “Well, hello.”

          You spun around and saw the source of the voice.

          A serene, beautiful woman who had long dark hair and dressed in a green tunic addressed you.

          “What has brought you here, young one?”

Read Part II Here

[bananaofswifts]

By Paul Tingen

From sketches to final mixes, engineer Jonathan Low spent 2020 overseeing Taylor Swift’s hit lockdown albums folklore and evermore.

“I think the theme of a lot of my work nowadays, and especially with these two records, is that everything is getting mixed all the time. I always try to get the songs to sound as finalised as they can be. Obviously that’s hard when you’re not sure yet what all the elements will be. Tracks morph all the time, and yet everything is always moving forwards towards completion in some way. Everything should sound fun and inspiring to listen to all the time.”

Speaking is Jonathan Low, and the two records he refers to are, of course, Taylor Swift’s 2020 albums folklore and evermore, both of which reached number one in the UK and the US. Swift’s main producer and co‑writer on the two albums was the National’s Aaron Dessner, also interviewed in this issue. Low is the engineer, mixer and general right‑hand man at Long Pond Studios in upstate New York, where he and Dessner spent most of 2020 working on folklore and evermore, with Swift in Los Angeles for much of the time.

“In the beginning it did not feel real,” recalls Low. “There was this brand‑new collaboration, and it was amazing how quickly Aaron made these instrumental sketches and Taylor wrote lyrics and melodies to them, which she initially sent to us as iPhone voice memos. During our nightly family dinners in lockdown, Aaron would regularly pull up his phone and say, ‘Listen to this!’ and there would be another voice memo from Taylor with this beautiful song that she had written over a sketch of Aaron’s in a matter of hours. The rate at which it was happening was mind‑blowing. There was constant elevation, inspiration and just wanting to continue the momentum.

“We put her voice memos straight into Pro Tools. They had tons of character, because of the weird phone compression and cutting midrange quality you just would not get when you put someone in front of a pristine recording chain. Plus there was all this bleed. It’s interesting how that dictates the attitude of the vocal and of the song. Even though none of the original voice memos ended up on the albums, they often gave us unexpected hints. These voice memos were such on‑a‑whim things, they were really telling. Taylor had certain phrasings and inflections that we often returned to later on. They became our reference points.”

Sketching Sessions

“The instrumental sketches Aaron makes come into being in different ways,” elaborates Low. “Sometimes they are more fleshed‑out ideas, sometimes they are less formed. But normally Aaron will set himself up in the studio, surrounded by instruments and synths, and he’ll construct a track. Once he feels it makes some kind of sense I’ll come in and take a listen and then we together develop what’s there.

“I don’t call his sketches demos, because while many instruments are added and replaced later on, most of the original parts end up in the final version of the song. We try to get the sketches to a place where they are already very engaging as instrumental tracks. Aaron and I are always obsessively listening, because we constantly want to hear things that feel inspiring and musical, not just a bed of music in the background. It takes longer to create, but in this case also gave Taylor more to latch onto, both emotionally and in terms of musical inspiration. Hearing melodies woven in the music triggered new melodies.”

Not long after Dessner and Low sent each sketch to Swift, they would receive her voice memos in return, and they’d load them into the Pro Tools session of the sketch in question. Dessner and Low then continued to develop the songs, in close collaboration with Swift. “Taylor’s voice memos often came with suggestions for how to edit the sketches: maybe throw in a bridge somewhere, shorten a section, change the chords or arrangement somewhere, and so on. Aaron would have similar ideas, and he then developed the arrangements, often with his brother Bryce, adding or replacing instruments. This happened fast, and became very interactive between us and Taylor, even though we were working remotely. When we added instruments, we were reacting to the way my rough mixes felt at the very beginning. Of course, it was also dictated by how Taylor wrote and sang to the tracks.”

Dessner supplied sketches for nine and produced 10 of folklore’s 16 songs, playing many different types of guitars, keyboards and synths as well as percusion and programmed drums. Instruments that were added later include live strings, drums, trombone, accordion, clarinet, harpsichord and more, with his brother Bryce doing many of the orchestrations. Most overdubs by other musicians were done remotely as well. Throughout, Low was keeping an overview of everything that was going on and mixing the material, so it was as presentable and inspiring as possible.

Mixing folklore

Although Dessner has called folklore an “anti‑pop album”, the world’s number‑one pop mixer Serban Ghenea was drafted in to mix seven tracks, while Low did the remainder.

“It was exciting to have Serban involved,” explains Low, “because he did things I’d never do or be able to do. The way the vocal sits always at the forefront, along with the clarity he gets in his mixes, is remarkable. A great example of this is on the song ‘epiphany’. There is so much beautiful space and the vocal feels effortlessly placed. It was really interesting to hear where he took things, because we were so close to the entire process in every way. Hearing a totally new perspective was eye‑opening and refreshing.

“Throughout the entire process we were trying to maintain the original feel. Sometimes this was hard, because that initial rawness would get lost in large arrangements and additional layering. With revisions of folklore in particular we sometimes were losing the emotional weight from earlier more casual mixes. Because I was always mixing, there was also always the danger of over‑mixing.

“We were trying to get the best of each mix version, and sometimes that meant stepping backwards, and grabbing a piano chain from an earlier mix, or going three versions back to before we added orchestration. There were definitely moments of thinking, ‘Is this going to compete sonically? Is this loud enough?’ We knew we loved the way the songs sounded as we were building them, so we stuck with what we knew. There were times where I tried to keep pushing a mix forward but it didn’t improve the song — ‘cardigan’ is an example of a song where we ended up choosing a very early mix.”

Onward & Upward

folklore was finished and released in July 2020. In a normal world everyone might have gone on to do other things, but without the option of touring, they simply continued writing songs, with Low holding the fort. In September, many of the musicians who played on the album gathered at Long Pond for the shooting of a making‑of documentary, folklore: the long pond studio sessions, which is streamed on Disney+.

The temporary presence of Swift at Long Pond changed the working methods somewhat, as she could work with Dessner in the room, and Low was able record her vocals. After Swift left again, sessions continued until December, when evermore was released, with Dessner producing or co‑producing all tracks, apart from ‘gold rush’ which was co‑written and co‑produced by Swift and Antonoff. Low recorded many of Swift’s vocals for evermore, and mixed the entire album. The lead single ‘willow’ became the biggest hit from the album, reaching number one in the US and number three in the UK.

“Before Taylor came to Long Pond,” remembers Low, “she had always recorded her vocals for folklore remotely in Los Angeles or Nashville. When I recorded, I used a modern Telefunken U47, which is our go‑to vocal mic — we record all the National stuff with that — going straight into the Siemens desk, and then into a Lisson Grove AR‑1 tube compressor, and via a Burl A‑D converter into Pro Tools. Taylor creates and lays down her vocal arrangements very quickly, and it sounds like a finished record in very few takes.”

Devils In The Detail

In his mixes, Low wanted listeners to share his own initial response to these vocal performances. “The element that draws me in is always Taylor’s vocals. The first time I received files with her properly recorded but premixed vocals I was just floored. They sounded great, even with minimal EQ and compression. They were not the way I’m used to hearing her voice in her pop songs, with the vocal soaring and sitting at the very front edge of the soundscape. In these raw performances, I heard so much more intimacy and interaction with the music. It was wonderful to hear her voice with tons of detail and nuances in place: her phrasing, her tonality, her pitch, all very deliberate. We wanted to maintain that. It’s more emotional, and it sounds so much more personal to me. Then there was the music...”

The arrangements on evermore are even more ‘chamber pop’ than on folklore, with instruments like glockenspiel, crotales, flute, French horn, celeste and harmonium in evidence. “As listeners of the National may know, Aaron’s and Bryce’s arrangements can be quite dense. They love lush orchestration, all sorts of percusion, synths and other electronic sounds. The challenge was trying to get them to speak, without getting in the way of the vocals. I want a casual listener to be drawn in by the vocal, but sense that something special is happening in the music as well. At the same time, someone who really is digging in can fully immerse themselves and take in all the beauty deeper in the details of the sound and arrangement. Finding the balance between presenting all the musical elements that were happening in the arrangement and this really beautiful, upfront, real‑sounding vocal was the ticket.

“A particular challenge is that a lot of the detail that Aaron gravitates towards happens in the low mids, which is a very warm part of our hearing spectrum that can quickly become too muddy or too woolly. A lot of the tonal and musical information lives in the low mids, and then the vocal sits more in the midrange and high mids. There’s not too much in the higher frequency range, except the top of the guitars, and some elements like a shaker and the higher buzzy parts of the synths. Maintaining clarity and separation in those often complex arrangements was a major challenge.”

[backtothefanfiction]

WHAT BENNY DOESN’T KNOW| Chapter One

A TRIPLE FRONTIER STORY

Summary: After your mission starts going tits up and you find yourself being held at gun point, your groups big secret is about to come to light.

Warnings: Mature 18+ ONLY!! Guns, Violence, Hostage Situation, Shooting, Murder, Sexual References, Some Angst.  (This Chapter is purely set up but there will be plenty of Smut in future instalments, not to mention drama galore, especially where Frankie is involved.)

Word Count - 3429

A/N- Hi all, I hope you enjoy my little self indulgent piece I’ve been working on. This is a female reader insert so I do use she/her pronouns, I hope this doesn’t bother anyone or make them feel uncomfortable, I just always vision myself as my insert character and I just end up writing with my own pronouns. Although I have re-read this a couple times, I did write this and proof read in the early hours of the morning so there may still be mistakes, if you find any I’m sorry. Also I cannot wait for you all to see where I’m taking this and the drama that is gonna go down. Will Benny find out everything in the end? Let’s find out.

CHAPTER ONE | WHAT BENNY DOESN’T KNOW

Your feet danced silently across the sun spot covered floor boards as you made your way down the upstairs hallway of the house. You stayed close to the walls, your gun held tightly to your vest, finger always close to the trigger. You sensed a figure move across the hall behind you. You looked back over your shoulder as the brim of a cap stuck out from the corner of a door frame. You and Frankie locked eyes and he gave you a silent nod to let you know he had your back. You took your next tentative step forward towards the last room at the end of the hall. Creeeek.

You froze, your foot half in the air as you waited to see if your target had noticed. You heard a slight click from behind you as Frankie adjusted his gun ready just in case. You slowly moved your foot, placing it down on the floorboard next to the one that just creaked, so you had a better stance. The room at the end of the hall remained silent. You looked back to Frankie and he gave you a reassuring nod once again.

“We're all clear down here and we found the money.” Pope's voice came through the coms. “Fish? Magpie? How's it going up there.” There was a noise on the stairs causing both yourself and Frankie's head's to whip around to see Will. Frankie held up a fist to him. Will gave a silent nod as he readjusted his hand on his gun.

Frankie's response was hushed. “Give us a sec.”

You took your last few steps down the hall to position yourself across from the slightly open door. Frankie swiftly moved down the hall, stopping with his back against the wall, the barrel of his gun, ghosting the door frame. He signalled his hand indicating for you to take focus on the left side of the room, he'd take the right. You gave a nod to show you understood taking a quick look down the hall to check Will had your six. When you looked back to Frankie he was taking a slow calming breath, focusing himself. He gave one final nod and you both stormed through the door.

Just like every other room you'd checked, it was clear. You both relaxed, calling it out as Will came into the doorway. “There's nothing up here Pope.” you said into your com.

“What do you mean there's nothing up there?” Santiago Garcia's voice was frustrated as it came through the com.

“What you don't trust me? There's nothing fucking up here.” You said again as Frankie and Will did a double check of the other rooms.

“I'm coming up there.” You rolled your eyes. You and Santi had both gone into similar lines of work post service and you couldn't be mad at him for not trusting your judgement, you would probably do the same had the roles been reversed.

“Jesus Fucking Chr-” you started to mutter to yourself but a sound behind you caught you off guard. Shit.

“Put down your gun.” came a voice behind you. Of course this house had a secret fucking room you missed. You made a loud example of dropping your gun on the floor, alerting your team mates to the threat in the room with you.

Frankie stormed back into the room first, gun aimed at the ready. You sneered as the barrel of a gun was jammed into your back and your wrist was grabbed, your arm being forced behind you. “Fish what's going-” Will's voice fell as he too came back into the room, Frankie holding a hand up to him in caution.

“How many of you are there?” the man behind you spoke, his accent thick.

“We've got two more guys downstairs.” Frankie's voice came back calm.

“Iron head what's going on?” Pope's voice came booming down the hallway. Will held a hand up to him.

“All of you in here where I can see you.” The man said. You grunted as he twisted your arm again, leading you backwards so he was in a better vantage spot in the room. Frankie never lowered his gun as he stepped around the room to maintain his shot at the man behind you.

Will and Santiago slowly stepped into the room, both their weapons aimed ready. Santiago, not wanting to risk reaching for his com instead yelled out. “HEY BENNY, COME UP HERE!”

Everyone was silent as the sound of heavy footsteps made their way upstairs and down the hall. “What's everyone doing up here-” his question was cut off as he quickly surveyed the situation in the room. He quickly berated himself for leaving his gun downstairs but calmly checked himself, spotting your gun on the floor and forming a plan in his head about how he'd acquire it.

“All of you put your weapons down.” The man's heavy accent cut through the silence. When none of the men before him moved he raised the gun in his hand to rest against the side of your head. “I said, put your weapons down or I'll shoot her.” None of the men moved.

“Boy's it's alright, you can put your guns down. He's not gonna shoot me.” You said, your voice too light hearted for this situation.

“Yes I will.” the man bit back pushing the gun harder against your head.

You calmly turned your head to look at him. “No you won't, and you know how I know that?” You raised your eyebrows at him. “Because you need me to get out of here. You know the moment you do any actual harm to me, these men won't hesitate making your body drop, right where you stand. You're goal here, is to get yourself out alive, so you need me alive. So in conclusion, no, you're not going to shoot me.” You roll your eyes turning your attention back to your boys. “Boy's it's fine. I'm fine, just drop your weapons.”

Benny gave a quick glance to his right, at his brothers. Both Santiago and Will reluctantly followed your instruction, making a show of calmly lowering their weapons and placing them on the floor. The only one of them who didn't move was Frankie. You locked eyes with him. You saw all his emotions and care for you in his eyes, his determination to keep you safe as he fought with every fibre of his being to not lower his weapon, to just shoot this guy right where he stood. You're eye's pleaded with him softly. “Fish, it's okay.” It took a moment, but he too followed suit, slowly lowering his weapon.

“What's gonna happen is we are going to slowly head for the door.” The man pointing the gun at you said calmly. “You're friends are gonna stay right where they are.”

“Okay.” you said back calmly. This wasn't your first hostage negotiation but then again, you'd never been the hostage before.

“Okay.” he reiterated as he pulled your arm and slowly edged you towards the door. You watched the boys closely. You could see in Santi's eyes he was desperate to say something. You kept your glance on him a moment longer and his mouth began to open, your voice came out first.

“Do you remember that time in Italy?” you addressed him calmly as your feet still moved backwards towards the door.

“Yeah...” Santiago said tentatively, the man behind you jostling your arm as he began to step into the doorway.

You felt the man lower the gun from your head to your back, pushing it against your left side, a caution to be quiet which you ignored. “With that guy at that club.” You continued, your eyes locked with Santiago trying to get him to understand. “And you tried to impress me when you shot him, but I just got mad...” You too were now stood in the doorway. You stopped. “well.” None of the men had ever seen you move that fast. You reached your arm to the gun poking at your side, taking it from the man's hand. Before he'd even realised you'd taken it your whole body swivelled around as you twisted the gun around in your hands, raising it and shooting him point blank in his forehead. His body hit the ground with a thud. Your eyes didn't leave the man as you fully took a moment to take him in as you lowered the weapon in your hands.

There was a giddy squeal and the sound of Benny bouncing around excitedly behind you. You turned around stepping forward to hand the gun off to Santiago, finishing the statement you were making before. “Consider us even.” you said, raising your eyebrows to him.

“Oh my god! Did you see that?” Benny continued to bounce around the room. Will and Frankie only just taking a sigh of relief as you moved back towards the body now lying in the doorway. Benny finally came to a stop. “Is anyone else slightly turned on right now?” his filter not stopping the question, quickly permeating the room with it. There was silence from the other three men as you bent down to rummage through the dead sicario’s pockets. The radio silence to Benny's question was deafening to you. You slowly sheepishly turned your head towards the other three men who were still yet to say anything. You're head turn hadn't been slow enough though and you caught the look that Santiago, Frankie and Will quickly shared, before looking at any opposing point of the room they could.

“Well I guess I know what you boys don't talk about when you're out with Benny.” your statement cut through the thick silence. You took a quick look at Benny just long enough to see his face fall. You stifled a small snigger as you turned back to the body in front of you.

“What?” Benny's voice rang out. “What is it you don't talk about when you're with me? What did I miss?” the youngest man searched his brother's faces for answers. They continued to remain silent.

You pulled yourself away from the body, blowing straight past Benny to Santiago. “Does Will know about Italy?” Santiago remains silent but a quick look over to Will and how he's looking at you tells you everything you need to know. “So he does know about Italy.” you say coyly, your gaze turning back to Santiago.

Benny is beginning to get antsy, moving about the room. “What happened in Italy?” Nobody answers Benny and you continue your playful interrogation.

“How much does he know?”

“All of it.” Santiago responds. You look to Fish then back at Santi.

“Even...?” You can see Will's eyes fixed uncomfortably to a spot on the floor out of the corner of your own. Frankie beside him started to relax, his own legs becoming fidgety as he began to rock on the balls of his feet, the conversation making him uncomfortable.

“All of it.” Santiago says again. You suddenly notice Frankie become tense once more. It takes a moment for your brain to process why, but then it's fitting it together. The creaky floorboard in the hallway. You reached out for the gun in Santiago's hand quickly whipping around just in time. BANG. Another body hits the floor in the doorway.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Benny practically squeals again. You turn your head back to Santiago, he has that look in his eyes. The same look he gave you that night in Italy. A warmth suddenly hits between your legs and you have to take a deep breath and centre yourself.

“I thought you said downstairs was all clear.” You say handing the gun over to him again.

“It was.” Santiago's voice was low as he tried to retake control of this situation, but the two of you both knew it was long gone. It had been gone the moment you mentioned Italy.

You took a step back, Benny still hopping about giddily. “Seriously did nobody tell him.” Your eyes roamed over to Frankie's. They locked for a fraction of a second before he purposely turned his gaze away from you. He still slightly resented you for the whole Italy incident. Your eyes finally fell on Will who was now silently looking at you, well aware you were the one fully in command from here on out. 'Wow' you silently mouthed.

“What the fuck am I missing out on?” Benny butted in again, his voice whining like a child.

“We'll tell you when your older.” his older brother finally said, not taking his eyes off you for a second.

---------

Your fingers were swollen red and sore as you carried yet another heavy bag of cash to the van. You quickly dropped it onto the large pile Frankie was loading into the back of the van parked outside the front of the house with a thud. You took a moment to regain your strength ready to go back for the last few bags, watching as the veins in Frankie's muscles strained as he lifted multiple bags at a time, swinging them into the van. You watched as he stopped a moment, realising you were still stood there, a hesitant look on his face, like he wanted to say something but didn't know if now was the right time to say it. You watched as the emotion inside him quickly built from whatever inner conflict he was having. He practically threw the next bag into the van.

You took a tentative step towards the pile of bags, picking one up and lifting it into the back of the van. “Don't do that again.” you heard the man beside you growl.

“Do what? All I did was put a bag in the van-” “Don't gamble with your life like that.” Frankie snapped at you.

“He wasn't going to shoot me.” you tried to keep your voice calm as you reached for another bag, but the slight irritation in how Frankie was treating you was clearly niggling at you.

“You didn't know that.” He said stopping everything he was doing to stare at you.

“Yes I did.” you snapped as you threw the bag in your hand, into the back of the van. You felt him grab your arm, pulling you round to face him. His hand remaining firmly around your wrist. You felt like your skin was burning under his touch.

“No. You took a gamble and began running your fucking mouth off, you were practically taunting him the whole fucking time-”

“He had the safety on.” You spat back at him, cutting off his rant. He looked at you half in shock, half in curiosity.

“What?”

“He had the safety on the whole time.” you said your voice softening trying to make him understand, but the look on his face was slow to change, almost like he still didn't believe you. You snatched your hand out of his grasp. “But thanks for caring.” You laced the statement with a slight venom, almost challenging him. He looked at you longingly then. So much of your relationship with one another going unsaid and sitting heavy between the two of you.

“You know I always fucking cared-” “No.” your voice was commanding.

“What?” he said slightly hurt and confused.

“Frankie, we're not doing this now.”

“Doing what?” Santiago's voice cut between the two of you as he made his way out of the house, a couple of the money bags in his hands.

“Nothing man, nothing.” Frankie said as he took a step back from you. He lifted his hat from his head, using the back of his hand to smooth the hair beneath it, attempting to look anywhere but at you as you went back to loading the bags into the van.

“Benny's just packing up the last two bags.” Will said as he came out to the van. He didn't add the bags in his hands to the pile, instead putting them straight into the back of the vehicle, pushing you out the way so he could get through.

You took a step back to survey the three men before you, as Will and Frankie began working together to haul the last of the bags into the van. “So you guys really telling me Benny knows nothing at all, and I'm not just talking about Italy.” The three men turned to look at you. This was the first time ever you'd been alone with the three of them together since all this started and you were dying for some answers.

“It never came up.” Santi sheepishly answered, shrugging it off.

“But the three of you have talked about this shit?” you questioned, quickly becoming bolder.

“Why, you been feeling your ears getting a little bit hot chica?” Santiago began teasing you.

“No.” you fired back a little too quickly shooting him a death look at the same time. You were surprised though when, instead of Santi coming back with another quip to continue teasing you, it was Will's voice that filled the silence.

“You know I'm beginning to think she get's off on the idea of us talking about her and debating over who did her better.” He said with a low chuckle. You shoot daggers at Will for the low blow but it only makes him smile.

“Well William, if you truly do know everything, then you know it's no competition and you already know who I think the best was.” you are quick to rebuttal, your voice taunting.

“The best at what?” Benny's voice questioned as he brought the last bags out to the van, throwing them in the back.

“Fucking me.” you say shooting him a wink and a cheeky grin. Your voice is so nonchalant when you say it, he knows you're saying it to taunt him. It sounds like such an exaggeration, like the farthest thing from the truth, a lie just to wind him up. He scoffs irritated as you raise your eyebrows at him and make your way towards the front of the van, away from his view. But what he doesn't know, that his brothers do, was that it was completely true. You had just taunted him with the truth and gotten away with it and damn were they impressed.

Santi practically chokes as he tries to hide his laughter, sputtering and coughing from how blatant you were. Will gave a small snicker before looking to his brother with sympathy, patting him on the shoulder. Frankie closed the doors to the back of the van, practically skipping around the side of the vehicle after you. You look back to him and he shoots you a look as if you say 'you're playing with fire' as he reaches out to open the door for you.

You give him a sickly sweet smile in return. He rolls his eyes at you as he leans against the door, waiting for you to hop into the van first and slide past the steering wheel, into the middle. You climb onto the seat but pause, looking directly at Frankie. He truly turns his head to look at you now, the serious look on your face when you address him. “You know it was always you right?” you asked him.

With everything that had happened between you, he genuinely hadn't known, but he could tell by your face you weren't talking just about the sex anymore. He wanted to push you further but the passenger door opened on the other side of the van as Santiago climbed in. When Frankie looked back to you, you had already turned away.

He took the drivers seat beside you, slamming the door shut a little bit too hard. He fumbled with the keys in the ignition. 'Why had you had to drop this on him now?' he thought to himself.

“Fish you okay man?” Santiago's voice rang out in the silence. Frankie's head snapped towards his best friend but his eyes somehow ended up landing on you. He took a moment to steady himself, his fingers going into autopilot as they once more placed the keys into the ignition, turning it over. The van roared to life.

The three of you watched as the Miller brothers took off in a separate car in front of you. “Alright man let's go.” Santi said slapping the dashboard and Frankie put his foot down on the accelerator, following the car in front back into the cover of the trees around them.

Let me know if you want to be added onto the tag list for this fic. I also won’t be adding names just from likes again like I did with the announcement post so if you want to be notified you have to put it in writing for me.

@icanbeyourjedi @theshiningharmony @darnitdraco @kesskirata @wyn-dixie @rosiefridayrogersunday @actual-spawn-of-satan @clydesducktape @asta-lily @honey-hi @heythere-mel @heidi-toevs @wigofokoye @choricenter @goodgriefitsawildworld @lostgirlheather @d0uwannkn0w @justdrawings101 @nicotinebirds @bisexualolympus @babyratt19 @cookiecat22​ @itspdameronthings

[teawaffles]

Louis and the Aquaria: Chapter 5 / End

Now, we return to the scene at the beginning of the story.

A little regretfully, Fred left for his work as the “Crime Consultant’s” point of contact, and Louis was alone in the hall once again.

However, the situation was completely different from before. He was no longer watching helplessly as the fish grew weaker — instead, he’d found a ray of hope for its recovery.

Standing before the aquarium, Louis was now gambling on both the medicine’s efficacy and the fish’s own willpower.

“Please, help him……”

Fervently, he prayed for the angelfish’s recovery.

And as the so-called king of the aquarium swam about its tank, the image of his brother surfaced in his mind.

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Five days after that, the time had finally come for the tropical fish to be transported to Stapleton’s residence.

It was early in the morning, and the sky was perfectly clear. Several horse-drawn carts lay parked on the street outside their mansion. For ease of transport, the fish had been transferred to suitably-sized bottles; and as the members of the Moriarty household carried the bottles, tanks and other aquarium equipment onto the carts, Louis stood at the mansion entrance, quietly watching over the scene.

Although he’d nearly collapsed after those consecutive days of exertion, by the time the fish were set to be moved out, Louis had been able to recover his full strength. That haggard complexion of his was now restored to its healthy glow, and behind those spectacle lenses, his eyes shone with the sparkle of success.

At first, Louis had wanted to move the items onto the carts all by himself, saying that the entire enterprise down to the fishes’ transport was his responsibility. However, knowing he had contributed the most this time around, the rest of the Moriarty household insisted that he not work any longer. As a result, though dissatisfied, Louis had hence been relegated to a spectating role.

Occasionally, as they moved past him while carrying the fish in their bottles, the glint in Louis’s eyes would tremble ever so slightly. And when that happened, he would pretend to adjust his spectacles in order to hide the tremors in his heart.

“Feeling emotional, Louis?”

Seeing his younger brother readjust his perfectly-positioned spectacles for the fifth time, William walked up beside him.

Embarrassed, Louis gave a small cough, then straightened his back.

“I would never——”

He stopped. Then, looking at the carts, his voice grew soft.

“No, you’re right. I didn’t want to acknowledge it — but for once, I’m feeling rather sentimental.”

Hearing Louis reveal his true feelings, William gave him a fond look.

Before the two men, the bottles containing the pufferfish and guppies were being loaded onto the carts. Ever since the tiny fish had been given names, Louis’s tropical fish-keeping endeavour had taken a strange turn.

Recalling the reason that a spanner had been thrown in the works of this enterprise, Louis turned solemn, and dipped his head.

“Nii-san. I am truly sorry for what happened before. I went overboard, and ended up causing everyone unnecessary worry. I was immature, and I shall reflect gravely on that.”

Not only did he grow fanatical over the angelfish named after his brother, he even made the aquarium layout needlessly extravagant, and recreated a South American habitat through and through. To top it off, in caring for the sick fish, he had nearly destroyed his own health. Looking back on it all with a cool eye, he had really been quite reckless.

As Louis reflected on his actions in earnest, right then, Moran and Fred walked past bearing pots of tropical plants: the by-products of his over-enthusiasm. They would now become a surprise gift for Stapleton.

Without taking his gaze off the trees, Louis burned those symbols of his inadequacy firmly into his eyes.

Watching his brother ruminate on the subject so gravely, after a beat of silence, William spoke.

“You may be right. If the situation had persisted, and you’d collapsed, the care of the other fish may’ve been impacted. Although you took care not to let that happen, I do wish you had taken the worst-case scenario into account and talked with me more.”

“…………”

Louis knew that. But still, to have his faults pointed out by someone he respected — those words had pierced through his chest.

Naturally, the sense of achievement that’d grown within Louis now began to wilt; though his face once bore a proud expression, he now favoured looking down instead.

“But you know, that’s just one part of the story.”

“Eh?”

Out of the blue, William had added that in a gentle voice, and Louis was startled.

He couldn’t decipher the meaning behind that remark. Then, William narrated his own thoughts.

“Louis, you went overboard for a single fish, so much so you neglected your own body — I don’t think you should’ve done that, since there were in fact two other angelfish which could act as substitutes. But in a way, to go so far in order to ensure that not even a single life is wasted: that could be seen as an expression of your sincerity.”

Sincerity.

Louis knew he’d been driven by an impulse akin to selfishness. But strangely, he did not resist as that word seeped into his heart.

“Certainly, I had said that it’s possible to replace the fish if they die. But I think it’s wrong to take that at face value, and put one’s faith in how there’ll be replacements, or second chances.”

William moved on to talk about the attitude Louis had taken towards his work.

“Such naive thinking can undermine one’s focus on the task at hand. For example, if you were to think ‘There’s two more of them, anyway’, and approach the enterprise with that optimistic mindset, it wouldn’t be a surprise if all the fish ended up dying right away. In other words, Louis: from that point of view, I would say your earnestness towards that one fish was exceptionally appropriate.”

“……Nii-san.”

William’s tone had contained no more emotion than what his words conveyed, and in no way had he defended Louis’s actions. He was simply assessing them from an objective standpoint.

And that, was precisely why Louis was glad.

He’d thought his actions were nothing more than a mistake born from his own foolishness. But William had shown him that they could in fact be seen as the complete opposite. Taken another way, his persistence towards that one fish was proof of his ardour for his work — that, was what his older brother was telling him.

For now, William fell silent. And right then, the two brothers caught sight of Moran carrying an aquarium tank toward the carts. He hadn’t faltered at all since the start: with his physical strength, it seemed no load was too heavy for him to bear.

It looked like there were only a few things left to move; Fred, who’d also been hard at work loading the items, now put in a last burst of energy. Incidentally, Albert had already moved his share of the items onto the carts earlier, and left for his work at the universal trading company.

Taking his gaze off Moran, Louis now stared at the empty tanks lined up on the carts.

Then, the sight of the three angelfish swimming in close formation sprang to mind.

“…………”

In truth, before their departure from the mansion, he had wanted to return ‘William’ to the tank with the other two angelfish. He’d thought it would be nice to see them swimming harmoniously together once more.

But that wish had not been fulfilled. For Louis, who was in charge of this endeavour, it was truly a pity.

Then, following behind Moran, Fred stepped out the doorway of the mansion. In his arms was a bottle that held a certain fish.

Louis stood before the entrance. Fred studied his expression, and asked him a question.

“This’s the last one…… Is it really alright to load it up?”

“……Yes, please do.”

His reply bore a faint sense of loneliness. Hearing that, Fred nodded solemnly, and proceeded towards the carts.

For one last time, Louis looked at the bottle Fred was holding.

Swimming within it, was the angelfish that’d been ill up to a few days ago.

Earlier, as Fred spoke to him, Louis had noticed it swimming languidly yet powerfully through the water. The rays of the morning sun, just risen, gleamed off its silver scales — their lustre was simply beautiful.

In other words—— the angelfish had thoroughly regained its former elegance.

The day after he used the treatment William provided, the fish had gradually recovered, and fully regained its strength just the day before. However, as Louis was hesitant to stop the treatment immediately after it had recuperated, he had no choice but to abandon the thought of letting it rejoin its former tank mates. Instead, it spent its remaining days in the mansion confined to the small aquarium.

At the very least, he’d wanted to see the “three brothers” together once more.

However, as Fred loaded the bottle onto the cart, Louis quietly closed his eyes, and put that thought away.

——They are but three fish; they’re not the same as us, by any means.

That cold line was directed at himself.

After caring for them so wholeheartedly, he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t grown fond of them in the slightest.

Moreover, if he had asked his brother seriously, it might have been possible to leave just the three angelfish behind in the mansion. In any case, there were many other varieties of tropical fish: they didn’t necessarily have to part with those three.

However, Louis did not do that.

As Fred had brought up, the one who’d asserted that the fish were nothing more than tools — was none other than himself.

He had no intention of retracting his words now. Furthermore, he was afraid that when the next mission came around, he might just let his emotions get the better of him, and end up causing irreversible damage.

When all was said and done, those stunning tropical fish were simply tools — a means to an end.

There were some things that could only be obtained by pushing aside sentimentality, disciplining oneself, and devoting one’s heart to their work, just as he had done.

And he was sure that his brother understood those feelings of his.

Even as he felt a pang of regret, Louis banished those thoughts, and met his brother’s gaze beside him.

William smiled back. “Well then, we’ve had a rather long chat, if I do say so myself,” he said. “But all that was just waffle. There’s only one thing I want to tell you, Louis.”

He knew what Louis truly wanted to hear right now. Then, he spoke in a warm and gentle voice — not as the leader of a criminal organisation that lurked in the darkness, but as an older brother.

“You didn’t let a single life go to waste: you did a great job, Louis.”

“……Yes!”

Louis replied with vigour. Then, dropping his guard, he nearly broke into a grin — and tried to suppress it in a panic. But he barely managed to stop himself from cracking a smile; emotion welled up from the depths of his heart, and his eyes misted over: it seemed that such sentiment could not be suppressed, even by a cool-headed man like himself. Through a mist of tears, he could vaguely make out the figure of his brother standing before him.

To become his brother’s strength. To fulfil his brother’s wishes. And, if possible, even if it was only for a little bit: to receive his brother’s praise.

Right after receiving that task from William, he had inadvertently obtained what he’d desired — and Louis was trembling with emotion.

William adjusted his tie. “Well then, it seems everything has been loaded up,” he murmured. “I think it’s time for me to get ready to leave as well.”

Then, he softly placed a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder.

“Leave the rest to me, Louis. I’ll make sure your work wasn’t in vain.”

“I know, nii-san.”

Without a shadow of a doubt, Louis was certain of it. ——That his brother, would never let his own efforts go to waste.

Hearing that, William smiled; then, his expression immediately reverted to that of the “Crime Consultant”, and he went back into the mansion.

After seeing his brother off, Louis glanced at the carts full of glass tanks, and murmured to himself.

“……It’ll be time to make breakfast soon.”

Once he’d ascertained that the transport preparations were complete, the memories of his arduous days spent with the fish then morphed into a record of observations. In his mind, his thoughts switched back to their usual subjects: those of managing the mansion and their estate.

However, deep in his heart, that gorgeous silver light remained as an unfading memory.

Louis had taken on the challenge of maintaining aquaria, and completed his mission since. Surrounding him was a refined atmosphere, and the air of a man who’d finally brought an enterprise to fruition.

T/N: omg I have so many thoughts about this one — much longer than the usual one-liner at the end of each story — so they’re in a separate section below if you’re interested :3

Translator’s thoughts (haha)

Louis’s growth

I think this story in particular is the previously-untold link in Louis’s character development! As seen in the Baskervilles arc and the start of this story, Louis initially had this worldview that he needed to be a cold-blooded machine to fulfil William’s wishes. To him, everything else was unnecessary if they did not serve his brother’s goals.

But in the course of caring for the angelfish, Louis was forced to confront the fact that he was actually fond of the angelfish — even though this contradicted his existing worldview, since emotion is unnecessary in rearing mere tools. And upon reflecting on how he handled the whole debacle, he finally realised that although the way in which he acted on that affection was not entirely right — showering the fish with too much love, which might’ve led to its falling ill, and sacrificing his own health and potentially the entire endeavour to save just one fish — the very presence of that affection was not a bad thing; and as William affirmed, he should continue to value every single life.

So I think this was the turning point from which Louis started to let go of that obsession toward his brother, and act on his own emotions and wishes: what he thinks is right, as opposed to merely what William wants. And this culminated in him seeking Sherlock’s help to save his brother, even as William himself did not want to be saved.

So in short, I really think this story is a key point in Louis’s character development, connecting the Louis of the Baskervilles arc with the Louis we see in the Final Problem arc — a missing link in the narrative, if you will!

Some random thoughts:

I’d think that sometime after the events of this story, Louis would properly apologise to Fred over what happened in the Baskerville mission

William told Louis he was right to not let even a single life go to waste — I think those words would’ve echoed in Louis’s mind when he sought Sherlock’s help together with Fred

Parallels to the Final Problem arc

Furthermore, some aspects of this story do parallel what happened in the Final Problem arc:

‘William’ being the one to fall ill

Louis trying very hard to save him

Louis praying for someone to help his brother

Help coming from a friend, rather than Louis himself

‘William’ remaining separate from the other two angelfish for a time

I wonder if it’s intentional, in the same vein as that past illustration by Hikaru-sensei where William covered his left eye with a rose… It could be possible: this book was published alongside the Phantom arc (Volume 7), so it’s conceivable that the Final Problem arc had already been planned out by that point.

Wow this has been a long one — thank you for reading this far! And onward to the next story ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ

[wakatvshi]

hey there! i love your angsty armin fic!!! how about something fluffy this time? 😘 can i request a scenario where armin asked his fem!s/o to cut his hair, hence his cute coconut hairdo 🥥✨ tysm! ❤️

Okay so I read this as taking the coconut haircut away... so I am sorry about that but! Here’s some Armin hair cutting fluff for you! I really hope you like this!

warnings: none this is just pure fluff

wordcount: 954

“You know I’ve never actually cut anyone's hair before right?” You questioned staring at the scissors in your hand and back to Armin, “I don’t want to mess up your hair.” His hair was getting pretty long and he said it was getting in the way but if you messed up you’d never forgive yourself. You’d never say he looked ugly but if you messed up there was really only one option left and that was to go buzz cut. Connie could pull if off. Armin? No.

“I trust you.” he was smiling at you and you felt your heart beat a little faster. Your relationship was kind of new, you hadn’t even gotten to the saying ‘I love you’ stage. Even if you felt it you’d keep it in until he said it first. “I’ve seen you cut your own hair and you do fine. Why would you mess up mine?” 

It was still different but if he said he trusted you, then how could you tell him no? Pushing down on his shoulders you huffed making him actually sit down. “Okay but if I mess up you know you only have yourself to blame.” You could see him smile as he settled down to let you cut his hair. “Okay. Here goes nothing just… stay still.” 

Armin was quiet as you cut his hair, he’d told you he wanted it short, he’d given you a few examples and told you whichever you thought you could do easiest would be fine for him. You could tell which had been his favorite so hopefully you could do that for him. You were focusing on cutting his hair, carefully, making sure you didn’t pull too hard or cut too much somewhere. Hopefully you could do it and it wouldn’t end up bad. You’d feel bad because you knew even if he said it was okay Connie and Sasha would let you know what they thought about it. 

You hummed  as you kept cutting his hair, he was quiet as you were doing it. Occasionally he’d make a comment about something random, the sound of his voice was calming to you. He was good at talking without actually distracting you too much. There was always different tones to his voice but every time he spoke it made you want to listen. When he was talking about something important with conviction or like right now where he was just peacefully talking to you. 

The amount of times you’d fallen asleep listening to Armin tell you stories while you both laid there, facing each other in the middle of the night. If you guys weren’t on missions and separated by barracks you did have a harder time falling asleep sometimes. After so long on missions together you’d kind of gotten used to having him near you like that. There were sometimes when you missed the chaos for that reason. But the negatives by far outweighed that. 

“You okay?” You hadn’t noticed your hands stilled in his hair until he spoke, “Did you finish?” He looked over his shoulder at you and you felt your face heat up. “Y/N?”

“Sorry, almost I just got distracted a little.” But you were actually almost done, “Face me, I’ll finish it.” You moved back and he turned around to show you his face. Biting the inside of your lip you did your best to not laugh. His hair was short in the back but the long bangs were still covering his face. “I’m sorry.” You covered your face, “I don’t mean to laugh.”

Armin’s face was red as he ran his hand through his hair, “Yeah I can feel the hair in the front.” You felt guilty about laughing but he was smiling too, “Is it that funny looking?” He pushed the hair out of his face and gave you a smile. 

You hesitated for a second, holding the scissors in front of his face, “You uh… you should probably let me cut it before Sasha and Connie see. If that tells you anything.” When he gave a slight grimace you nodded, “Yeah so… stay still.” 

When you finally decided you were finished cutting his hair you pulled back a little, looking over your work. You were surprised that it did look good, you’d been so sure you would mess it up. It wasn’t the case though, he looked good. The short hair fit him more than you thought it would. Hopefully more than he thought it would because he wasn’t sure it would look good either. He’d been hesitant about wanting it that short but he decided it would look more professional. 

Standing up you held your hands out to him, “Come on, let’s go find the mirror.” You were actually proud of your work and hoped he would like it too.

Armin looked up at you with his eyebrows raised, “It’s done?” When you nodded he took your hand and stood up, your fingers intertwined as you lead him towards a mirror. “Do you think it looks good?” There was some hesitance in his voice, you could understand that because it was a whole new look for him, you’d be freaking out much more than he was. 

“I think it looks great.” You smiled when you both stood in front of the mirror, looking himself over. His hands moving through his hair. Giving him a few minutes to look at himself you looked from the mirror and back to him. “Well?” 

“I love it.” He looked at you, “I told you that you’d do a great job.” When his hands fell from his hair he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into a tight hug. “Thank you.”

[voxvulpina]

I always wonder whether HY actually made a good money. I have seen photos of a very small section of its merch. Like very small and still full. Then, the news about it was very limited in some anime sites, like no one actually make articles of it unless they have too (example of it's crowned as one of the most boring anime, articles about how it happened then how it ended, articles on sequels which turn off fans. There were some, but not hyped or many of them). Even Fumination and Viz mag only made an article of it after it ended where they confirmed Rin as Mom.

None of my fanatic anime fans actually aware of it. Once I saw them opened a streaming site with YH on the screen, they just thought it was another childish boring anime and just immediately skipped it. They didn't even have any clue it was an Inuyasha sequel.

The viewership ratings also never reached significant number. The highest is no 4 but it's because SNK wasn't aired. Usually on 9th but then fell off the top 10 since eps 15 to the last episode.

Did it make any profit at all? Even many shippers (at least who I know) didn't show off their SessRin merch/magz. Most of them just kept on harassing people and the most weirdest act was drawing SessRin and twins her bedroom wall. Only the translators actually bought magz and showed it off like a treasure. The rating on streaming sites are high but the total number of people who gave it reviews are very low compared to other animes. The only time it trended on social media in Japan was eps 15 and only for a small moment about them making a joke about PEDOMARU then it's gone. The final eps didn't make any wave at all. Like it just went and gone so quick.

Am I just imagining something or Sunrise didn't prepare for all its downfall? Did they really expect it to be as popular as Inuyasha? Is that why they keep releasing bullshits like guidebook about how parents met and fell in love despite we have hundreds of anime episode and manga chapters about them already? Not to mention movies?

What I am sure of is that Sunrise was overconfident and thought that Sesshomaru's popularity could rivaled Inuyasha. He's not. His character development is just too weak compared to Inuyasha. There is a reason why many popular main characters on anime have similar behaviour (Inuyasha, Ichigo, Naruto, Kagami, Luffy) they could carry a show with layers of personality. There is a reason why cold, ice block characters become just side character (Sesshomaru, Itachi, Byakuya, Sasuke).

This makes me wonder how well Season 2 will do with only SessRin shippers as the viewers. In addition of many more interesting animes come out too.

Gawd, I hope Season 2 flops like a dying fish (I'm sure I don't need to say this, but for the love of all things holy, folks, if you're going to watch the new episodes, do it in a way that won't give Shitrise views or cash 💀).

I think the studio started out fairly confidently - people were excited at the prospect of an Inuyasha sequel and the Yashahimes were marketed as the three MCs, attracting droves of InuKags. It still boggles my mind how Sunrise managed to squander all that enthusiasm and all those viewers. Yashahime is so bad they had to disable comments on their YouTube channel, because of the awful reception the trailer for Season 2 was getting. Comments were disabled on their Instagram too a couple of months ago (I haven't checked if they're back on or not). I'm sure Yashahime's not making them any money - in fact, it's probably losing them OG fans, some of whom are so sickened by HNY, they're stepping away from the original show as well.

It's not only Sesshomaru's popularity that can't rival Inuyasha's - putting the pedopairing aside for a moment, one of Yashahime's big issues is that Sesshomaru's daughters, like their dad, aren't cut out to be MCs. Setsuna is too reserved and quiet. Towa, that is, delinquent Towa from the first few eps, is too selfish and cold-hearted. She only cares about Setsuna and isn't above being manipulative, which is interesting in a side character, but doesn't make for an MC everyone can get behind. They tried to fix this in later episodes, but ended up making Towa a whiny Mary Sue with shit for brains and no personality at all. She's proof that, in most cases, pushing side characters into the limelight ruins them. To force them into the MC mold, you have to twist their personalities to make them as appealing as possible...and chances are it won't work rotfl