#in this case it’s £40 and my sanity

[e-von-dahl]

Ok the curiosity is getting to me, I need to know what the fuck is going on with the onlyfans account, my soul craves context and my money stash is way too easily accessible for someone with my terrible impulse control

[thatbanjobusiness]

The trend of modern, flimsy record storage needs to die in a hole. It only proves that vinyl is a fad, for display and clout rather than practicality.

Extra points for the stackable, collapsible, cloth boxes that are "for vinyl." Because that's not record damage waiting to happen.

And like. It's one thing if there are good alternatives easily available on the market. But 95% of what I see is an accident waiting to happen in some form or fashion. The remaining 5% is expensive as twice butt and stores a paltry sum.

I'm going to become a box maker out of spite. I am. Going to be. A box maker. The best box maker in the damn world. Out of S P I T E.

[mrkusbastard]

Me/my selfsona as a dst character!!!

Sorry for my English...

I tried to draw in the style of the original, but it didn't work out very well lol

I thought about what kind of character he could be, with what mechanics... And this is what I got!!

By creating a piece of paper, he will be able to draw on it, thereby restoring his sanity. The drawings can then be used for a bonfire, or you can leave them for later...

Destroying objects (for example with a hammer) also raises the mind, but acts less effectively

When he loses his mind, he may involuntarily hit/break objects in an attempt to calm himself down

It tolerates cold more easily, freezing a little slower than others. But in the heat he quickly feels unwell

When the mind drops to 40% and below, he has the opportunity to create a "Special drawing". A drawing of a strange black monster that looks like a nightmare but is not. The monster in the drawing will come to life and attack the closest threat to Warren. It bites hard, but does not have much health, from which, in the case of an attack by several opponents, it will soon disappear. It is better to use it to make a successful escape, because the nearest enemies will redirect their attention to it. Creating one such monster takes 15 units of reason at once, so you should be careful that the brains do not dry up. If the monster survives, there will be no danger nearby, it will just wander around until its sanity is restored to 60%. Which is a bit problematic, because his presence nearby also negatively affects the mind

When something hit his, he makes a spring-like sound lmao

My suffering from the fact that every time my chests are broken by some assholes😭😭😭 (DAMN THE BEARGER)

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Miss you being around BP! I’m trying to make sense of some of what’s coming out but it’s really hard to find an objective source because I don’t trust HYBE, MHJ, or the Korean Government, definitely do NOT trust Pannchoa or KPOP stans including ARMYs, Tokki’s or SM stans to be objective and truthful either. I really don’t care about most of it but I don’t like seeing all of these HYBE groups getting discredited like this. It’s all just being used for fanwars right now. I think HYBE deserves to be dragged but I don’t know why SM stans are feeling high and mighty when I think everything HYBE is being exposed for they have definitely done (tried to drag other groups in the media, inflating album numbers, dungeoning groups). I’d like to understand what HYBE is being accused of and if they actually did take part in screwing over RIIZE or fake all their album numbers or whatever people are saying and what’s just kpop stans being kpop stans. It’s hard to find anyone objective on this. I don’t want to defend HYBE because I think they’re pretty dirty, but I also know that kpop stans will run with any little spec of anything to try and discredit “rival” groups. I'm starting to really wish the BTS members would leave that company though.

*

Ask 2:

The mess that is hybe rn💀 would love to hear your thoughts on the report leaks and mhj’s recent interview

Also, hope you’re doing well!

*

Ask 3:

BPP I wish you were here to explain these HYBE documents 🥲 ARMYs are ignoring it and only people who already hate BTS and HYBE are talking about it, either that or solos. Hope you're doing well out there!

*

Ask 4:

I know you're tired of my NJZ MHJ HYBE asks bpp but I'm going crazy! I can't find anywhere on social media that is neutral about this situation. Your blog is the only place where I see another point of view so pls comment. Pls answer.

***

These are all asks from 1 month ago and earlier and I believe I've already answered similar questions in more recent asks.

I'm posting this because I'm currently trying to clean out my inbox to bring some sanity to my Tumblr so it's easy for me to start posting regularly again. However a lot (something like 40 to 50%) of the asks I've gotten in the last few months are related to NewJeans/NJZ, Min Heejin, and HYBE's strategy with them.

My question for y'all is, are people still actually interested in this topic? Is it alright with y'all if I just ignore asks about it going forward? Or would you like me to continue commenting on it?

Personally, I find the whole business with NewJeans already pre-determined because power and influence is what wins out in this industry 9 times out of 10, no matter the facts of the matter. And on the off chance NewJeans' case is the 1 time exception, their situation is already quite tragic and depressing. HYBE and HYBE fandoms will not leave these girls alone until there's a truly, immutably tragic outcome. Until there's a permanent loss of at least one soul's light. That's the only future I see in this situation because I've seen this all happen before, and I'm not sure I want to be a part of it. I'm not sure I want to continue commenting on it.

Rubbernecking when you see a gruesome car crash is normal, but for a lot of people, what's happening with NewJeans is like spectators watching damnatio ad bestias in a colosseum, complete with jeers, chants, and cheers.

This isn't a situation I want to receive asks on, or continue commenting on if I can help it. But if a significant portion of my readers want more discussions on it, then... sure.

[darkfairiefey]

MK1 Tarkat Infection AU Profiles: Week 7

Kitana Aexina Edenia

———————���—

Health: 100%

Sanity: 54%

Stress: 76%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“Please Mileena, don’t give up on me…”

Side notes: searching for a cure alongside Li Mei and Rain

Mileena Umesatra Edenia

—————————

Health: 36%

Sanity: 37%

Stress: 95%

Status: Alive

Infection: Stage 2

Injured: No

Aggression: 67%

—————————

“We’re in this together, right Tanya?”

Side notes: condition getting worse, near transitioning to stage 3

Tanya Orizana

—————————

Health: 23%

Sanity: 32%

Stress: 83%

Status: Alive

Infection: Stage 2

Injured: No

Aggression: 46%

—————————

“I’m sorry Mileena…”

Side notes: has not yet received a cure, resolve is waning

Countess Jade von Adbella

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 76%

Stress: 58%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“I swear to Argus! I could not have been responsible for this!”

Side notes: regrets leaving the empire during Mileena’s attack, currently staying with Kitana

Syzoth AKA Reptile

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 92%

Stress: 33%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“This should be useful”

Side notes: currently in Zaterra, looking for survival resources in case of disaster

Sakaala AKA Khameleon

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 40%

Stress: 87%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“Oh Lady Delia… Please hear my cries…”

Side notes: praying to Delia for a cure, watching over Tanya

Li Mei

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 100%

Stress: 18%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“Hmm… maybe Rain’s water magic could be useful”

Side notes: Let Rain out of prison, believes he may the key to a cure

Ermac

—————————

Health: ???

Sanity: ???

Stress: ???

Status: Missing

Infection: ???

Injured: ???

—————————

Side notes: still roaming through Outworld, current location unknown

Shang Tsung

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 86%

Stress: 22%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“Do we really have to create another serum for Tarkat?”

Side notes: found by Li Mei, attempting to gather resources for a cure (because Li Mei said so)

Quan-Chi Triwik

—————————

Health: ???

Sanity: ???

Stress: ???

Status: Missing

Infection: ???

Injured: ???

—————————

Side notes: trying to be found by the constabulary

General Karkata Shao

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 76%

Stress: 76%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“By Argus…”

Side notes: ran after Goro and Reiko after they went missing, found Goro infected

Goro

—————————

Health: 48%

Sanity: 20%

Stress: 95%

Status: Alive

Infection: Stage 2

Injured: Yes

Aggression: 60%

—————————

“Goro not well”

Side notes: got lost searching for Reiko, found infected by Shao

Reiko Rekunars

—————————

Health: ???

Sanity: 12%

Stress: ???

Status: Alive

Infection: Stage 2

Injured: Yes

Aggression: 90%

—————————

“Reiko’s blood reigns!”

Side notes: powered by infected Tarkat blood by Havik, slowing the infection and giving him super strength

Skarlet Magrora

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 100%

Stress: 18%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“What is my true purpose?”

Side notes: currently attempting to heal others with blood magic, bumped into Havik along the way

Zeffeero “Rain” Yesvaris

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 84%

Stress: 35%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“There must be a way”

Side notes: let out of prison by Li Mei, searching for a cure

Baraka Klaldran

—————————

Health: ???

Sanity: 0%

Status: Dying

Infection: Stage 4

Aggression: 100%

—————————

“RAAARRRGH!”

Side notes: no longer in control of himself, close to dying

Raiden Ikeda

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 65%

Stress: 85%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“No… My friends… It can’t be…”

Side notes: witnessed Madam Bo get eaten by his Tarkat infected friends

Fujin Ikeda

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 54%

Stress: 85%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“Raiden?! What’s happening?!”

Side notes: witnessed Fengjian pile up with infected individuals

Madam Bo

—————————

Health: N/A

Sanity: N/A

Stress: N/A

Status: Deceased

Infection: N/A

Injured: N/A

—————————

“What on Earthrealm…”

Side notes: eaten by Raiden’s Tarkat infected friends

Kung Lao

—————————

Sanity: 7%

Status: Alive

Infection: Stage 3

Aggression: 93%

—————————

“YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO US”

Side notes: teleported back to Earthrealm by Liu Kang, got infected after fighting off Tarkatans

Johnny Cage

—————————

Sanity: 8%

Status: Alive

Infection: Stage 3

Aggression: 91%

—————————

“LIU KANG WHY DID YOU ABANDON US”

Side notes: teleported back to Earthrealm by Liu Kang, got infected after fighting off Tarkatans

Kenshi Takahashi

—————————

Sanity: 9%

Status: Alive

Infection: Stage 3

Aggression: 89%

—————————

“YOU HAVE FAILED US LIU KANG”

Side notes: teleported back to Earthrealm by Liu Kang, got infected after fighting off Tarkatans

Suchin Saenghaew

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 64%

Stress: 83%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“You’re telling that this happened to Kenshi?!”

Side notes: found out about Kenshi’s infection through the OIA, desperate to find him

Sonya Blade

—————————

Health: 69%

Sanity: 100%

Stress: 57%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“Reporting catastrophic activity in Fengjian, China”

Side notes: came alongside Jax to investigate the incidents in Fengjian

Jackson “Jax”Briggs

—————————

Health: 19%

Sanity: 23%

Stress: 92%

Status: Alive

Infection: ???

Injured: Yes

—————————

“What in the FUCK was that?”

Side notes: arms got ripped off by Tarkat infected Earthrealmers, still recovering alongside Sonya

Grey Cloud AKA Nightwolf

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 67%

Stress: 71%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“There’s got to be a cure somewhere…”

Side notes: the college aged son of the Matoka tribe leader, eager to research the Tarkat affliction

Hanzo Hasashi (Codename: Spectre)

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 50%

Stress: 65%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“The Kuai Liang I remember NEVER behaves like this!”

Side notes: shocked by Kuai Liang’s behaviour, attempting to gather survivors

Kuai Liang (Codename: Scorpion)

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 56%

Stress: 73%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“Everyone here is ignorant and foolish”

Side notes: turned hostile towards his close allies out of the blue, refuses to collaborate, especially with the Lin Kuei

Harumi Shirai

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 82%

Stress: 70%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“Please Kuai Liang, this isn’t necessary!”

Side notes: worried about Kuai’s new mannerisms and behaviour, trying to get through to him

Tomas Vrbada (Codename: Smoke)

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 30%

Stress: 76%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!”

Side notes: disgusted and heartbroken from Kuai’s behaviour, enenra still haunting him

Felix Kaweeson (Codename: Cyrax)

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 60%

Stress: 71%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“I thought we were over this, Kuai…”

Side notes: Feels guilty for Kuai’s aggressive behaviour, increasingly worried for Tomas’s well being

Takeda Takahashi

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 79%

Stress: 58%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“I CAME OUT FROM ROCK BOTTOM, AND THIS IS WHAT I GET?!”

Side notes: angered by Kuai’s actions, depressed over Fox

Forrest “Fox” Kaweeson (Codename: Forrest Fox)

—————————

Sanity: 0%

Status: Alive

Infection: Stage 3

Aggression: 100%

—————————

“Blood… I crave blood…”

Side notes: cut of his face to satisfy his hunger

Bi-Han (Noob Saibot)

—————————

Health: 71%

Sanity: 64%

Stress: 33%

Status: Alive

Infection: Immune

Injured: Yes

—————————

“It’s about time that I intervene”

Side notes: saved Sareena from an infected Earthrealmer, now resides in the Lin Kuei temple

Li-Hong Jing (Codename: Sektor)

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 93%

Stress: 33%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: Yes

—————————

“Thankfully, I brought power armour”

Side notes: fighting of the infected alongside his father

Longwei Jing (Codename: Oniro)

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 100%

Stress: 33%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“It’s been a while, son”

Side notes: coming out of retirement to fight the infected head on after he heard the news about Fengjian

Ayaka Yuki (Codename: Sub-Zero)

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 78%

Stress: 51%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“The Lin Kuei cannot function without you father”

Side notes: Bi-Han and Sareena’s adoptive daughter, looking after Sareena and Bi-Han after their return

Mizu Nanami (Codename: Hydro)

—————————

Health: 48%

Sanity: 76%

Stress: 73%

Status: Alive

Infection: Stage 2

Injured: No

Aggression: 65%

—————————

“S-Stay away from me!”

Side notes: confined herself in a room after she started experiencing cravings for flesh

Sareena

—————————

Health: 73%

Sanity: 65%

Stress: 57%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: Yes

—————————

“Bi-Han! I missed you!”

Side notes: was attacked by an infected Earthrealmer before Bi-Han saved her

Kia

—————————

Health: ???

Sanity: ???

Stress: ???

Status: Missing

Infection: ???

Injured: ???

—————————

Side notes: currently missing from action, location unknown

Jataaka

—————————

Health: ???

Sanity: ???

Stress: ???

Status: Missing

Infection: ???

Injured: ???

—————————

Side notes: currently missing from action, location unknown

Ashrah

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 81%

Stress: 52%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“I MUST search for survivors”

Side notes: fighting off infected Earthrealmers in the Wu Shi Academy, guarding the entrance

Nitara

—————————

Health: ???

Sanity: ???

Stress: ???

Status: Missing

Infection: ???

Injured: ???

—————————

Side notes: attempted to kollect blood from Outworlders, current location unknown

Dairou Oridan AKA Havik

—————————

Health: ???

Sanity: 13%

Stress: 72%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: ???

—————————

“Chaos never dies…”

Side notes: bumped into Reiko, used blood magic to power him up

Hotaru Nerinorin

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 91%

Stress: 55%

Status: Alive

Infection: No

Injured: No

—————————

“Where are you, traitor?!”

Side notes: still pursuing Havik, has not him yet

Geras

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 100%

Stress: 27%

Status: Alive

Infection: Immune

Injured: No

—————————

“You are not alone Liu Kang, I promise”

Side notes: the first to witness the transformations of the search team

Liu Kang

—————————

Health: 100%

Sanity: 100%

Stress: 43%

Status: Alive

Infection: Immune

Injured: No

—————————

“Kung Lao, Johnny, Kenshi… Forgive me…”

Side notes: the second to witness the transformations of his search team, feels too guilty to kill them

[dbcjr3]

It’s deer hunting season again! I’m not a hunter, but I’m a nature lover, and it can teach us a lot about spiritual things. In fact, a deer can teach us how much even the toughest man needs the Lord.

Psalm 42:1

As the deer pants for streams of water,

so my soul pants for you, my God.

Why is the deer panting? There’s only three reasons why deer pants:

He’s chasing after a female deer, a doe.

He’s fighting another stag over a doe.

He’s running for his life because of some danger, like a hunter or a mountain lion.

it’s the running for your life situation this psalmist is talking about. When you’re desperately needing God your soul “pants” for Him, whether you realize it or not. It’s like you have been running for your life and are heaving for your next breath. You’re excruciatingly thirsty - and the heaving breaths don’t help things.

The presence of God is like a “ stream of water”. A stream is running water, that’s pure, not stagnant. At that point we would probably drink stagnant water. In fact, in the past, we have drank stagnant water. We’ll get to that in a minute. But running water is pure water, which truly quenches our thirst.

The stagnant water? We have served other gods, chasing after love, excitement, acceptance, fulfillment, feeling good. All idols before God, maybe drugs, alcohol, sex, relationships, activities, even food. We’ve tried to comfort ourselves in many ways.

But what we need is the pure water.

David was a man among men facing Goliath as a mere boy yet he realized this. Real men know what they need to stay strong whether in the gym or at the stream.

In this case, the stream is our Lord. What we thirst for, what we are panting for, is the pure water, Jesus Christ!

In fact, the next verse says,

“My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?”

Jesus told the woman at the well that He was the living water and one who drinks from that living water will never thirst again. (John 4:14)

Verse 11 goes onto say:

“Why, my soul, are you downcast?

Why so disturbed within me?”

Are you feeling down, depressed, disturbed inside? Take a listen to the rest of the verse:

“Put your hope in God,”

for I will yet praise him,”

Even if you are down and disturbed he says praise Him. Why? Because David knows that the Lord is, as he puts:

“my Savior and my God.”

Jesus is our Savior. that Hebrew word for savior actually means deliverer. He not only delivers us from sin, he delivers us from the effects of sin.

I know this personally, friends. The Lord delivered me from a time when I was down, disturbed, and hopelessly addicted in many ways. We could compare my situation with yours, but that would be a waste of time. I would rather point you to the living water that quenches your thirsting soul.

My friends, that state of being down and depressed, addicted, was 40 years ago. Since then I have pastored and reached a place of leadership in addiction and mental health treatment in our state. How?

I started by panting at the Stream to reach some peace and sanity. Then I started panting at the Stream about problems in my family, then my work.

Then there was a major consolidation in the healthcare field that went on for years where mergers and acquisitions put me out on the street again and again because of layoffs - and I was the sole support of my family.

You better believe I did some painting at the Stream. Each time I got an even better job paying more because the Lord showed me at the Stream strategies that were new and more effective, and empowered me to do them.

And there’s nothing too small to come panting to the Stream about. The Lord just loves that you come and that you come panting.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTY4bLnFh/

[its-moopoint]

We saw who were the people at the funeral. No question about T holding his son than C holding him with T next to her. We saw C and her younger brother sitting together in the same row with their mom and sisters. No son in law with them. All of them were in the second row. But, OL shippers have crossed the line of decency and sanity a long time ago to still be shocked by the lies they tell their followers. They are psychotic.

Anonymous asked:

I have some questions about the funeral pics. I haven't seen the footage myself but Ive heard that Tony was there holding the baby. Was he there with the baby? If so, wouldn't the baby want to reach for his real parents ?

odessa-2

Please refer to my previous recent post of Kevin v Sam pics. Tony was not holding a baby. In fact I do not think he was present at all. He was subsequently photoshopped into that train wreck of a photoshop 'funeral pap shot'. Kevin was the black masked bandit holding a baby. They cleverly played some musical chairs in the church in an attempt to bamboozle. It only worked on some.

They had to quickly come up with a game plan for Mr Balfe's sudden and unexpected demise and the panicked foray resulted in the ultimate revelation of the truth. We got the proof we were all finally looking for under very unfortunate and tragic circumstances.

As for the baby and to who he belonged to. I feel that it's irrelevant at this point. Sam was clearly in attendance not only merely attending his 'costar's' father's funeral, but sitting right next to her, embracing her and and comforting her mother. Whether the baby was theirs and being held by uncle Kev, or whether it was a nephew of Cait's doesn't matter.

If you watched the stream carefully, it was evident that SC did turn around to face the baby and look at him. It was also clear that Sam was very familiar with another little boy who went up to the alter. So familiar in fact that when he turned his head sideways to show us his big ol forehead (purposely imo), we saw that he was authoritatively directing the young lad and instructing him what to do. That raised my antennae. Sam even stood up. We see you Captain .

It was such an explosion of truth and such a threat to their almost 10 year whopper of a lie some serious damage control was pencilled in. Hence why they dragged out McGoul for the 40 day memorial service and vanished Sammy boy.

balfeheughanmm

i really don't like having t’s face on my blog. if you scroll down you will see that i am telling the truth. lately this has been happening because of the issues we have been talking about here, but never before. my blog is about sc.

sometimes, to talk about a truth (or a lie), we need photos to better explain the narrative. THIS IS THE POST! this explains so much, guys. as i said before, Sam Holand Heughan was there so comfortably. so we see that no lie lasts forever. we all already know the truth. some still don't want to see.

and about the paternity of these children? for god’s sake! i can't believe a narrative in which she is actually married to t and has a real child with him and cheats on him with s. that's crazy. INSANE.

the only truth i believe is: s is the father of one or more children. they are a couple. a family. and the truth about this family came out at a funeral. so sad. actually everything about this is so sad and has become increasingly sad for me. i think that's why people leave the fandom. i start to understand them. and YES, they know that we know. when will they stop?

mariaae

Reblog for the truth!

jclovely

Death has a sting, in this case TRUTH was revealed. Hope SC will stop lying. It causes destruction and more destruction. We do not wish it to them, that is why we warn them. STOP TRUTH SETS YOU FREE.

citrinesun

There was much discussion at the time about the blond child C is holding. I’m not saying that’s not her child, but this pic of the child on the right does look suspiciously similar. The baby on the right is William, Prince of Wales at at the same age, more or less.

auburncurlslass

Wigs that can be purchased off the internet. Sam was wearing a wig to hide the fact that he had recently gotten hair implants. The shortness of his hair is evidence that plugs were removed and inserted into the frontal crown of his skull. To have this procedure done, the person's hair must be nearly buzzed to the scalp. Sam wore the wig to disguise his recent procedure. The number receipt is the shape of Sam's large forehead. There's no doubt it is Sam Heughan next to Caitriona. As for those Las Vegas photos...it's called AI and/or latergrams. Remember, he's an actor...all the tools of the trade are at his disposal.

Anonymous

Was t at the funeral ?

odessa-2

Not from what I could see.

2truthsandalie5

Agree!

I read blah blah blah rubbish blah blah blah. And it all sumps up in one thought: if they are able to manipulate and lie about stuff we are all are seeing happen live imagine the fanfic they've written over the years and share as canon that never took place.

[kidflashimpulse]

honestly in terms of the treadmill i assumed that it was wrecked beyond repair (it's not like they can get MORE 31st century tech to replace certain parts) and that when Baby showed up at the north pole they just brought it with them so they could dispose of it themselves later because Bart was like "there is NO WAY we're leaving this here". like let's be real. Bart's original time machine was never even brought up again after Bloodlines. for my sanity i'm assuming this is a similar case lol

i guess i associate seeing wreckage as something visibly being beyond repair (like the legions sphere) so when the cosmic treadmill was in essence spat out by bioship (lol) even though it glitched i didn’t think it looked bad as it was in one piece. But I think ur point is reasonable and good to consider to pace my expectations (and like u mentioned sanity 🥲)

the biggest reason i was thinking it’s something to consider for hypothetical (oh this hurts 😂) future plots is because of what it is, i.e the cosmic treadmill, something that’s quite a major thing to speedster lore, like what the fortress of solitude or phantom zone is to superman lore or what the utility belt as equipment etc is it to batman, lasso of truth, bracelets to wonder woman etc

basically something so iconic to the related lore that it’s crazy (painful 💀) for me to perceive it as a one time thing.

also, the thing that separates it from something like the time sphere or his original time machine being irreparable is that it’s something bart built in the present, not his original timeline of 40 years in the future of an alien post apocalyptic earth (assuming that the time/alien element gave him more sophisticated components to work with despite it being the apocalypse) nor something that is built from a thousand years in the future. he built it in the now (with the assumed help of current day tech (total side note, i assumed that the stolen zeta core he stole from the Watchtower inventory was for building the treadmill/a spare component)), knows exactly what’s going on with it and can work with tech of the present for it. His OG time machine was explicitly built as a one time thing, because as sophisticated as its base technology might be, it was also a little scrappy in design, assuming that he really worked with what was available to his immediate surrounding (like scraps of metal), so it was only natural it would essentially be “fried” by something like time travel.

for the treadmill it seemed to be built as something pretty durable for its intended long term use like space travel.

i’d just assume that the components of the 31st century especially from something like the time sphere that he managed to salvage from are a little more durable than his OG machine (the parts that he managed to save from being intentionally damaged by Lor). Combining that with it being built in the present, it really didn’t cross my mind that it was something beyond repair or even remotely properly damaged in the first place.

when he was the first to leave the Arctic i felt like it was such an emergency (fighting the zods) that he didn’t really think twice about anything. then the rest of the heroes were split between Dick and Mganns team (with LOSH) also hurrying, and those who were tending to the wounded. I didn’t really think about this part any further tbh but I’d assume that the medical team portion would collect it or something. But just the image of bioship spitting it out it’s like she wouldn’t want it anywhere near her 😭 lmfao. So team LOSH and co maybe managed to “quickly” take it with them (also considering LOSH knowing what it is) but the urgency of the situation just had me thinking initially it was abandoned at the pole at the time 😭

also something that is only the result of me entirely overthinking things is the way the treadmill was designed in YJ. The fact that it’s compatible with bioship/baby makes me think that if YJ wants to do serious time traveling throughout the season in the future, rather than in S2/4 where it’s more of a plot device than a used tool (atleast for the heroes, Lor was the one who used it the most in S4), i can imagine the treadmill being somehow used for it. Like originally it was built for space travel, but this is time traveler bart we r talking about here lol i don’t think it would be impossible for it to be redesigned for its original comic purpose. Also more importantly, it allows big teams of people to travel with it, rather than just bart running on it.

So yeah, this is all the mess of thoughts that makes it appeal to me as an ideal checkhovs gun for future seasons, but honestly with all things YJ who genuinely knows at this point 😭

Anyway, thanks for sharing i love reading about ppls thoughts on these things <3

[ganryuart]

🎊On the 9th of Febuary is my 1st affiliate annevasary on twitch! 🥳🎉

We're celebrating by playing a randomized Nuzlocke of Pokémon Ruby. We gonna embark on the adventure at 12pm GMT+1 and will be exploring Hoenn for 8 hours. As seen above, there are ways for you to help me out or cause some mischief. 😇😈

I'm looking forward to playing with you! ᓬ(•ᴗ•)ᕒ

Ganryu’s Lotl-Locke Pokémon Ruby Randomized Nuzlocke

Viewer participation Use item in battle one time

Potion 190 bits

Super potion 440 bits

Hyper potion 750 bits

Max potion 1500 bits

Full restore 1800 bits

Antidote 60 bits

Paralyze Heal 130 bits

Awakening 150 bits

Burn Heal 150 bits

Ice Heal 150 bits

Full heal 390 bits

1 Sub = Reroll the most recent encounter. The streamer has to add the new Pokémon to the team and can’t remove it. (once per area)

3 Subs = Switch any team member with an alive Pokémon in the PSS. The streamer can’t remove it.

5 Subs = Revive or kill one Pokémon.

30 Subs = !Divine intervention! Overwrite a Game Over

Nuzlocke Rules

Only catch the first wild Pokémon in each area. Gift Pokémon count as caught in the area you got them. You can verify by looking at the Pokémon's Summary page to see where they were "Met" in order to confirm whether it's a new location or not.

Any Pokémon that faints is considered dead and must be put in the Pokémon Storage System (PPS). If you run out of living Pokémon, you've failed the challenge and must restart the game. A black out/white out is considered to be "game over", even if there are live Pokémon left in the Pokémon Storage System.

The streamer must nickname all of their Pokémon after chat participants.

The streamer may not voluntarily reset and reload the game to undo progress.

No items in battle, except Pokéballs and held items. Items outside of battle are allowed.

The streamer may trade Pokémon with in-game trainers.

The battle style must be changed to "set" in the options menu.

The Day Care may not be used.

The streamer may not flee from battle.

The Exp. Share may not be used.

Randomizer Settings

Change impossible evolutions

Make evolutions easier. Mid stage latest at Lvl30; Final stage latest at Lvl40

Starter Pokémon: completely random (random held item; ban bad items)

Static Pokémon: completely random

In-Game Trades randomize both requested & given Pokémon

Update move data to Gen.5

ban game-breaking moves

Pokémon movesets: completely random (reorder damaging moves; force 40% of good damaging moves)

Trainer Pokémon: completely random (Rival carries starter through game; No early Wonder Guard; force fully evolved at Lvl40; percentage Lvl modifier +25%)

Wild Pokémon: completely random (randomize held item; ban bad items)

THs&HMs completely random (TM/ Levelup move sanity; force 40% good damaging moves; TM/HM compatibility completely random)

Field items: completely random; ban bad items

Misc. tweaks: Running shoes indoors; Lower case Pokémon names; randomize catching tutorial

[lilysundragon]

Hope this is helpful in case anyone is planning to get an SCR in the future but here's a comparison of the difference between my 17% bonus during Hot Limit

And my 75% bonus during Ariadne

It's about 29k dia saved which means the bonus isn't life or death if you have enough dias. My advice would be to save up as many scout tickets as possible and use those on the scout banner rather than the dia you plan to use on the event.

The one thing that the bonus scout does do, however, is make the grind a little faster. I had VIP II active for Hot Limit and cleared the event in 40 hours. I spent significantly less time on Ariadne and did not have VIP II active. It's a matter of conveniency.

So tldr: If you aren't going to scout for any kind of bonus, have about 90k dia ready. If you are scouting for bonus, keep in mind that you shouldn't dip into any dia you'll need for the event card.

If you are going for SCRs, this game isn't worth your health or sanity! Make sure to take breaks and stay hydrated if you're going to go all in for your fave. Good luck to everyone!

[oldweedsmokingbf]

update on my situation since i made a donation post weeks ago: ive been too sad to even think about this aspect of my life more than i have to bc its been affecting me a lot mentally so i havent touched on it publicly for my own sanity lol but i did have that apnt on halloween and they saw some arthritis in the lumbar? thoratic? spine region but im still in a ridiculous amount of pain (numbness, pinching, sharp pain, tension migraines, ect) so to do an mri i have to go to more physical therapy as a formality for my insurance company (since bum fuck workers comp wont cover my spine) so ill be doing physical therapy 4 days a week now and i have a $20 copay for 2/4 appointments each week now so that's $40 a week i need to dish out as well as an $100+ orthopedic bill that i thought worker's comp is supposed to pay for... but my case manager hasnt messaged me back in at least a month so. fun! i have some money set aside that was donated to me for copays but that might cover two weeks at most. im trying to expand my art so i can get commissions but even that feels like im screaming at a brick wall since im not the most talented artist out there and people would rather use ai than have someone draw art for them. love america love capitalism love feeling at my wits end

[msbarrows]

Jun 20 - today has mostly been a very long and annoying comedy of errors. Long enough I'm sticking in a read-more for dashboard sanity.

(After mentioning more bathroom cleaning - back around to the toilet - and that supper was fettuccine with meat sauce and a salad. Also I've been doing the prep work to make baked beans tomorrow - soaking the beans and then boiling them with diced salt pork.)

tl;dr - me being a nearly complete fail at laptop maintenance under the cut. At least I remembered to use a static strap this time (hard to forget after frying my motherboard that one time).

My laptop has let me know a couple of times recently that my system drive may be on its way to becoming an ex-drive, so a couple days ago I ordered a new SSD 2.5" drive and some USB flash drives, as when I double-checked if my recovery key was fine it proved to have become non-functional in the several years since I bought it and my gaming laptop and originally set it up. So those arrived today, shortly after I'd finished running my backup batches (good timing there).

I go to make a new recovery key... only to discover I ordered the wrong size of flash drives, so grats me on now having three 8gb drives I have no need for. *Sighs at past self for misremembering the size of USB key needed when ordering*.

Swapped out the new SSD into an external SATA enclosure I already had (the 1TB HDD the laptop originally came with usually resides in it as a backup drive), went to clone the drive. Don't have the software I've used in the past, NP, I'll just go download it from the web... oh. They've enshittified the free home version. You can no longer clone a drive without popping for the subscription version. Which even at a "no, no really - buy from us! We'll give you this great limited time deal of 40% off!" would have been $35CAN for three months of use. WTF. Quickly check some reviews... none of the reviewers has clued in yet about the enshittification, and every other 'free' cloning tool I quickly go and check is also the no-cloning-allowed (or only of non-System drives) free trial of an it's-now-subscription-only tool.

Like hell am I paying $35 to clone my drive. This is one of the reasons I've had a "My Downloads" folder on every machine I've had for decades now, in which I keep the downloaded installer files of everything (neatly sorted into named subfolders). Dig around in some backups for my previous machines, turn up an older pre-enshittification version of the program, install it, clone the drive no problem. Though that takes a long time, during which I did a bunch of crocheting, then made and ate supper.

Eventually comes the fun of opening up the case (6 long screws, 4 short ones), removing the battery (4 medium screws), unfastening the disk drive (4 very short screws and a teeny tiny flat connector on the end of a 1" or so long flat ribbon cable). The ribbon connects to a larger connector the drive itself is plugged into, which can really only be taken off easily when the little ribbon is detached from the motherboard. So, swap the big connector to the new drive and put it in place, connect the ribbon, redo allllll the screws. Boot up. Get a complaint about a CMOS change but it otherwise boots up fine.

Takes me a bit of use before I notice my drive D: has gone missing. And the disk management utility is not listing the sizes of drives I'm expecting; among other things it's showing both a drive C: and a drive I: (the drive letter I used while cloning) and... OMFG, I suddenly remember. The 2.5" SSD is the D: drive, my C: drive is one of those oversized chip-looking PCIe drives (this is the first computer I've had that has those, so I completely brainfarted on which drive format was which drive). *Headdesk gently*

Order the correct drive type, plus an external enclosure for that drive type (since I don't have one in that form yet), plus bigger flash drives (three pack of 64gb ones was on sale for less than the 32gb). Shut down computer, reopen everything up, swap back in my 'missing' 2tb SSD 2.5" drive, close everything up again (so many tiny screws, blargh).

Boot up. Drive D is... still missing. I GOT DISTRACTED MENTALLY CURSING OVER ALL THE TINY SCREWS AND DIDN'T RECONNECT THE LITTLE RIBBON!!! *Headdesk repeatedly*

Remove the 10 screws for the case again and connect the tiny ribbon and then replace the 10 screws again. Boot up again.

Everything is back to working normally.

At least until the new PCIe SSD arrives and I have to open everything up to swap that in after cloning to it. Which will involve less screws, and in more easily accessible locations (three of the four for the 2.5" bay are in PITA spots to try and screw or unscrew - the cover for where the PCIe things are only has two and they both face upwards). Also, it wasn't much more to order a 1TB PCIe thingy than the next smallest size (500gb) that was currently in stock, so yeah, my C: drive is going to roughly quadruple in size. Yay for that at least; I never object to more storage space.

What am I going to do with the extra 2.5" drive? I ordered another SATA 2.5" enclosure (those are dirt cheap) that I can throw it into, it can be another small backup drive (it's only 250GB) or I can use it as bonus storage space for my Steam deck when that's docked. I might do the same with the PCIe card I'll be swapping out of the laptop; it still works, I'll have that new PCIe enclosure with nothing else in it, and if/when it fails at some point down the road, at worst there's a handful of games I might need to redownload/transfer before playing them on the deck. Whoop-de-fricking-do.

It's now just past midnight and I'm going to game a bit to wind down and then crochet a bit to wind down even further before attempting to sleep. Because my brain is currently three ferrets chasing each other on a large hamster wheel.

[solardick]

I see. Card letter Rr temperance would fallow card letter Xx-rus. Except that in this case card Cc claims captivating.

Take card Xx-rus. The cherub and the toil. Trees are bare. Whats left on the top is out of reach. Everythign else is dead or picked clean. The peaks speak of christmas. And a place of warmth. The cherub. Gardian of the gate to the gardennof eden. In this case. The tops. To be reserved. For cheer and holi. Prob’em issue is here with the person toiling, encumbered. There’s no reservation. All consumption. In this case, as a c’ash, speaks for the cherub to say. “Uh, no.”

But i foond somethign fun too.

Card letter Фф, for at the moment,- ehich originally gave letter F to the emperor. And yes that works.- but here in this case card letter Bb, is being used for the jcuzen set. As images a man behind a table. Card letter Cc as the virgin priestess. With the old letters BcD on it. And card letter Ww the moon card, to all be tied up with card letter Дд, russian Dd.

A curios for the symbols Фф compared the Bb. Purely symbolically speaking of the form.

Im pulling the moon card out completly. Fuck that card. The only thing boiling up to the surface for me is my pecker.

But, guess this feeling is here to stay to remind me hiw they wasted over 25 years of my life. Neglected my childhood to shit and then raped me. Somy entire existance from birth on is nothing but bs by ither people fucken around with my existance. I dont want to be alive anymor w

Sorry i selflessly helped out a member of the opposite sex yesterday. I deserve to feel like i just got fucked up the ass all night.

Im juts going to

Start trashing awomen and fagskets from now on. Like it matters on my karma.

Ive been being treated as trash simce i was born. 40 years later nothings changed. Well it dorsnt seem to have anything yo do with ciggareetes. Might ascwell keep smoking. Ive barely snoked at all in four days. And its wirse now than it has for the last couple weeks. Oh its a mars venus aspects again. Lets give him another dose of dick in ass desease. Instant suicidal idealization. Motovation to boot.

Y’all traininf me like a fuxken dog.

Yay. Another biolent putburst. Rape me sone mote. Its bever been that intense in the morning.

Honna lise my shit one day and go on a killing spree.

I got a few neighbours that need to go. My ebyire family needs to go. The history tracher from highachool neesa to go. And along with have the people ive ever met withholding personall information about me from me with sly cicksuckers smiles. They all need to die too.

Its ok myqyeer side doesnt have any moral barriors. Thats whyni killed it when i was 14. That blond from the billards…. List fgoes on.

But i want to take my sweet time with my father and two ilder brothers. My mother can watch and lise ger sanity. And then ill tell how much i love her.

Hurry up nato get russia to throw a preliminary warning missile to the states. It’ll get shot down but the message would have been made.

Im sick of being alive anyway. All there is in the world is fucken harm to my person. Everywhere ive ever beensince my first memeory. The only

Consistency ive evwr had.

Well, nit so much, they’re doing a miraculous job at ruining my entire existence, my will’s been broken for over 25 years. And all they do is make such it never mends.

This dick and ass desease theyve given me. Is just going to keep me in a self-destructive spiral away from nirvana. Which is just a infantile glowing golden light.

And there s nothing i can do about it. Just dwell on 40 years of sick memories. And people

Laughing at me.

Look at this crap.

The only way this chart makes any sense is the natural system. Or (whole -1=aries) what a load of crap. I dont want this. Send it back.

Keep the fire burning for a long lost hope.

No family, no fun, no growth. Juno and vesta. Before ine walks into pluto. And saturn cutting the bud of any solar acheivement. Wanting peace, calm and goid things. Held back into the shadows of scorpio and orhers peoples bs. Mars goes to the moon for somwthing substantial yet, destructive and intoxicating. Pluto pluing into neptune as the midheaven. Creating his reputation for him.

Jupiter is a sham and doesnt makevany sense other than a large group of people making the decisions. In opposition to nessus. And the poison seeping in from his desperation and misery and reactions from all the chaos and harm to his person. From all the stress.

Any harm done by him. Is emmidiatly fallowed by care and concern. Which is mostly fue to other peoples interference. Even if its disrupting their peace. “ i didn’t want to intrude…” i dont mean to offend” or. I wasn’t aware. Because its slways hardship. They can play nice. But they just quip in that saturn at the end.

Pholus opposition vesta. Hahah. They’ll make you lose the flame everytime. And then things get dark. Anddsly smiles come out from perversion grooves of mildread.

It says. There is no help.

And yet at the end of any connection. A flame is lit. A good deed is made. Before being forced in by external forces by obsessive personalities. It’s the same light he tries to share withanother. Holding their hand watching them die. And moving on. But it is not his power. And the forced changes are never pleasant and nothing good comes out from them. He can still look back at that one “last” lit flame and know that he is still himself.

If thats the power of the hermit. I know him better than anybody.

Seeing how his family is leo/cancer dominant. They run the monopoly as being the source of toxicity. The nessis chariclo whathave you. Stelium on 14 leo. Conjuncts the pluto of his pstents. The mother is uranus in sag. She being a sag. Always home. Always absent beyond her erratic tendencies of violent outbursts. Off away in another faraway land inside her head. Yet gifting him an appreciation for beautiful things. Father is cancer and leo. Alwaysl absent. Never present. Erratic and violent himself. As he was never home. Always off in some far land somewhere fucken his hookers. So they’re both uranus.

Both distant relatives that you dont know very well but, you do know they exist.

….. juno, the asteroid of anothe rof jupiter consorts, signifier of marriage, commitment and pregnancy, conjunct the descendent. Point of paterneships and marriages. In the personal experimece in which it is found to history as his father holding the torch of marriage to a dead relationship. Seeing to his life’s work goes to the support of his memory. Though shat over every other part of it. Same one i carry seems to be. But to personal experience. Theres not much to trust. Cant count on the line up of women set and pressed to dis-stress any positive attachment to. But they all seem to be women in the whole spectrum of age fertility. In the last few years. A woman, with a child, a baby, or a soon to be. The older ones are better. Carry the torch through the rough. See to the necessities.

But, needs or way over there, compassion, temperance as she really is. The virgin priestess. As all new mothers are. All the choas and roughhousing the spyche lead to needs of peace and calm and absence of family and harm not harmony. It was all scorpio shit. The sex becomes flaccid theres too much negative energy being stung out of there that there can be no loving attendance.

They can gift wrap it in rainbows and corrupt the core by letting the victim invite dracula in his home. Kind of hard to be one with nature.

Y is counted as a consonant but plays its part as a vowel. In -ony, as in one, ona, oni, onu, ono, its really only one, with an e, thats starts with a w-y sound. As one may get from Yne. Pronounce Y with ne. If you get when. Then. Thats acceptable too. May call the final judgement card harm and harmony. Man and woman. The eerie part of it is. It has a time. Resolute, it intimidates.

But, all torches aside. Im not going to survive.

And that is him. All bundled together in aries. Everything else outthere. Isnt him.

He’s not going to be alive no more, he’s gonna be dead

Sing with me. Bring some holi into this bs. 🎶he’s not going to be alive no mo-re. He is going to be dead. 🎶

Hurry up ww3 so people can leave me the fuck alone.

🎶dick in ass desease. He‘s gonna be dead.🎶

He‘s not gonna be alive no more. He’s gonna be dead. He’s not gonna be alive anymore. He’s gonna be dead. 🎶 why is he at work? He has nothing to fo but walk around and sing.

All he wants to donis sooth his ass. But its a futile endeavor because its chronic. And he’ll end up doing nothing else but fiddling with his ass every day. Multiple times a day. Not a life worth living

Just a while longer. Ans he can be dead. He’s not surviving this life. He was never foing to. It was alreasy before he was born. He’s a dead man.

All he can do is game. And even that is hoghly conditionign and manipilative of the psyche but its the only thing he can do to forget about suicide.

[boogiewoogieweeb]

14 & 40 & 57 & 58 for the ask game (but only if you fare well enough! pick your favorite two, otherwise 😊)

hello, skip my love! 💖💖💖 i am always more than happy to answer any and all of your questions, whether i fare well enough or not!

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

i've already answered this one in a previous ask, but it's definitely the ned little shirt. my sanity won't allow for anything else until i have his dearly beloved face covering my heaving bosom.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

i'm uniquely awkward in that while i absolutely adore physical affection, i struggle to both give and receive it unless i'm either very comfortable or very familiar with the person (barring close family ofc, of which i have vanishingly few). that being said, the last person i kissed was one of my best friends, and i kissed him simply because i love him and was very happy to see him.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

i used to, when i was younger. i grew up with a family of self-declared "spiritual sensitives", so there was always a pervasive belief in the paranormal and supernatural for me growing up. i've definitely outgrown the notion since, and the only ghosts i believe in nowadays are the ones of our own making: those mistakes and regrets that we carry with us throughout life, and which haunt us past, present, and future. and yet despite my empirical disbelief, i'm still very much in love with the *idea* of ghosts: that people can continue to exist long after life has taken them from us; that even in death, we reach out towards what we once were and yearn for a return to what we can never again be. there's an unsubtle but timeless romanticism to ghosts and their stories that is at once so viscerally painful, yet also so achingly human in its desire for connection beyond the boundaries of this plane of existence. also, nothing perks me up like a good horror or tragic ghost story, lmao.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

all the damn time. i've always had a particularly strong sense of deja-vu throughout my life; and while i know that science tells us that deja-vu is likely just our brains recognizing previously identified cognitive patterns and filling in the blanks with an auto-complete response; i'll admit to being a bit superstitious when it comes to the feeling of having been here or done that before. in some cases, listening to that little voice inside my head that said, "uh oh, we've already experienced this, better tread lightly now," has been an unexpected blessing. and heeding its advice might even actually have saved my life once, on one memorable if particularly harrowing occasion. honestly, if ever i believed in any kind of wacky, pseudo-science-y bullshit, it'd be that deja-vu is the infrequent temporal bleeding over of happenings in parallel universes into our own. i won't ever be able to prove it, but the vibe just feels right.

and that, darling, is that! i hope you enjoyed reading through my answers (i don't doubt you'll have something to say about some them, and i'm looking forward to hearing all about it if you do 😘😘😘)

[joboozle]

If the Shoe Fits.

I am tired. I am that kind of tired you feel in your bones, in the pit of your chest. I am tired of pretending like I am okay, that I dont cry myself to sleep every day or night. I am tired of pretending that most of my friends didn't abandoned me when I had post partum, that the rest of them didn't abandon me after, too. I'm tired of acting like I'm not lonely, faking a smile for everyone around me that I can. That regular customers I see once a week are the only ones who have noticed anything was wrong. I'm tired of people who only want someone to vent to but when I need someone, suddenly disappear. Fucking exhausted by everyone who cuts me off when I'm talking, drained by their problems. Annoyed by those who only think me me me while everyone else around them suffers quietly. I'm fucking irritated that I spend 40 hours a week taking care of drunk assholes then coming home to clean, do laundry, do a lot of things just to get no sleep and be treated like I don't do anything. I am absolutely exasperated by those who don't understand how hard this is, that I can't just take on a new job that isn't as lenient as the one I have. I need a job that will understand when I can't come or that I'll be late because I've been in the ER all afternoon because my spouse has health issues. I'm tired of pretending like I don't know certain people won't come over because I don't live somewhere nice. I'm over acting like I haven't noticed those who ditched me in the middle of a crisis, those who haven't checked in, those who just send back one word replies. I need someone to talk to, someone to care. If one more person tells me, "You're so strong," I'm going to lose the last of my god damn sanity. I don't want to be anyones charity case, I know everyone thinks, "Oh she's been through so much." I'm done with the pity. I'm done being the walking door mat for everyone else. I listen to everyone elses problems, help out those that I can. I tried, fuck did I try, to be likeable. But I will never fit it anywhere, no matter the face I put on. There's so much I don't tell anyone anymore because i know they don't care unless there's something in it for them. I don't get hey how are you? hey how was your day? i appreciate you, i love you. It's all so fucking hollow, How am I? I'm fucking terrible, every day I wake up thinking I WISH I DIDN'T I'm tired of hearing all the things I did wrong, how much of a bitch I am, closed off I am. How do you think I got this way? Oh, I know I"m not completely innocent. But it's funny what happens when you stop being the one to check in, to start the conversations. They either don't talk to you, or don't even recognize it and continue asking for things, asking you to pick up their slack, dumping their bullshit on you. I see people for what they are but I still try to find the good in them. But it doesn't matter. Because if you stand up for yourself, then oh my god, you're just so terrible. I'm over it all and I'm over everyone. Use use use, take take take. And unfortunately, there's nothing left of me anymore. So I'll sit here, crying, letting the loneliness carve through me, and keep trying to pretend that nothing is wrong, because that's all anyone wants. Whatever I can give them, whatever I can do for them, because no one actually cares about anyone else but themselves.

(And trust me, I realize the irony of that while I complain about how no one gives a fuck about me.)

So when I die, don't have a funeral. Don't have a memorial. Don't even think of me.

[cxncrie-a]

@playr1ne / @hamactiia asked: MEME; 🥺🍽️🪢🧚🏻‍♂️

WHY ARE WE NOT INTERACTING YET? || Accepting

🥺 [ pleading ]﹕ I am very shy in general.​​​​​​​ 🍽️ [ plate ]﹕ You seem to have a lot of interactions on your plate already, and I don’t want to stress you out further. 🪢 [ knot ]﹕ It takes me a while to work up the courage for approaching a new mutual out of character. 🧚🏻‍♂️ [ fairy ]﹕ I keep meaning to approach you out of character, but I forgot … oops :/

honestly same @ all but the plate one. You seem rad but I'm just { sad balloon noises } bc I'm either nervous, anxious, or I just go " yeah I'll reach out !  " { forgets bc I'm scatterbrained } LJFDGDFGJ  probably doesn't help that I don't know who to throw at you and have that terrible habit of holding Nimue out like el wiwi { I swear I have other muses, honest! }

but uhhh, I have like .. over 40 threads tbh, they're scattered everywhere among people, do I encourage more? absolutely. worst case is I'm gonna put things in queue for my own sanity but I don't drop threads easily + I ALWAYS welcome more at any time. if you wanna send me a thing or grip one of my muses feel free to go ham I literally do not mind at all. i could have 100 of them in general and i'd still say give me more { ngl i probably do have almost that many scattered among my poor mutuals oo p }

anyway grip me whenever you feel comfy, and with whoever you wanna grip me w/ bc I'll take all the muses :)