#in their homes like a monster' but if we want to stay within canon.

[tovaicas]

re: my previous hw-era estinien griping, I really honestly do think that one of his bigger issues is the fact that halfway through the expac he loses his main character motivation, and it's another facet of my 'the aery is the worst dungeon from a plot perspective' propaganda.

like halfway through heavensward you kill nidhogg. like you kill his body for real. the fact that nidhogg (if not the wyrms / dravanians in general) are able to cling onto life even without their bodies is at least subtly hinted with midgardsormr, but it's very much framed (as a bait-and-switch or not) like 'alright this is dealt with'. estinien's only motivation in hw is killing nidhogg so his arc crashes to a halt and trips over itself as the story has to find reasons for him to still be here, and unfortunately bc he's so flatly written he basically has none. his lack of reaction to the dsw revelations means he kind of just...hangs around until it's time for his plot-mandated possession scene.

maybe it would've been better had nidhogg lived; have estinien take the eye he borrowed from hraesvelgr, but nidhogg reclaims his original, takes the horde, and flies off. now you can't keep hraesvelgr's eye without pissing him off and having two of the first brood potentially descend on ishgard, you have no fucking clue where nidhogg went and now ishgard is in direct danger, and estinien is left having both failed and lost the one thing he needed to kill the wyrm.

everything else could still play out the same; nidhogg reclaims his other eye at azys lla, estinien - either still shaken by his previous failure, enraged by nidhogg's reappearance and desperate to finish the job this time, or both - has a real moment of weakness and fails to keep nidhogg from overtaking him, and nidhogg like normal reclaims his second eye.

I don't think this is his only issue - estinien's hw writing requires a lot of tlc to get him to be an actually active character - but I do think it's a major symptom.

[mikanotes]

lost in translation ft. eunhyuk x gn!reader 4.4k words

genre: angst comfort, ‘enemies’ to possibly lovers warnings: deaths, injuries, blood, mentions of kissing and also suicide (?), smoking, cursing, canon divergence idr half of s1, guns, slightly suggestive at the end author’s note: this was requested! i kinda strayed off the original request sorry TT it got a bit angstier than it should’ve but oh well! have this i missed him

summary: The development of your feelings for Lee Eunhyuk in the middle of an apocalypse, and struggles of leadership.

Green Home Apartment is not a place you would ever allow to crumble.

From the very first hours of the outbreak, people saw a leading figure in you. A seemingly natural instinct to guide people and keep them as safe as possible. Someone strict, just firm enough to keep panicking residents in line and gentle enough to reassure other equally terrified people.

The perfect leader, really. It wasn’t exactly the role you would have wanted had you imagined yourself in this situation prior, but you felt you didn’t really have a say in the matter. You were just a college student, and within a few hours, at least ten people in your apartment building had voiced out their agreement on you being the perfect captain for a broken and sinking ship.

So when this guy with a blue flannel gave off the same impression as you apparently did— enough to convince people he would be a good leader, too— you were mildly relieved. Part of you felt like it was a good thing someone else would take the reins for this whole thing. It was too much pressure for you. But another part didn’t feel at ease. After all, you didn’t know this guy. People trusted him for a reason— He did seem mature, headstrong, and determined. Good with instructions and quick-witted. But you didn’t know if that would be enough to let the people here, or you, at least, survive this.

If you were to survive this in a group, you would need to have some kind of authority when it came to making decisions. Surviving alone was fine, but being stuck with so many people meant certain chaos, attempts at democracy leading to stupid decisions, and your life being stacked between at least twenty others with barely a word to say when they would all eventually be led to sure death. You’d damn near experienced it already, and that was more than enough for you.

So you didn’t step away when Lee Eunhyuk, as you eventually learned his name to be, took the place of a leader. And thankfully, it seemed the residents hadn’t expected you to. So weeks ago, you and Eunhyuk were appointed as leaders of Green Home during the monster apocalypse.

“Going there would be suicide.”

“So you suggest we stay here and wait to die? Do you genuinely think the people in the next room over will be fine with that?”

Leaders who get along perfectly.

“I suggest you use your head a little. There’s resources in much more accessible spaces than this. The store at the side, for example?”

“I’m not sending anyone there.” Eunhyuk states blankly, in his usual emotionless fashion. You narrow your eyes and bite back a scoff.

“Right, I almost forgot it’s about sending out people with you. You’re a coward, you know that?” you say, and he glances at you from the side.

“And you’re just as selfish.” he says, turning to face you properly, “Let’s not pretend you’re any better than I am because you act courageous. You’re terrified.”

“And you’re mistaken. Why don’t you go out there and get to the storage room yourself?”

Eunhyuk’s tongue presses into his cheek and his fingers tightens into a fist. He presses his hand to the table and tilts his head a little, nodding slightly. “We both know without a leading figure this group is done for.” he says, tone much calmer than you’d anticipated. The restraint he has over his anger only serves as fuel to your own. You bite the flesh of your lip.

“Am I not a leading figure?”

“You are, but are you a good one?” he asks. There. There it is, the hint of anger. That cutting edge to his tone. It’s nearly imperceptible but it makes you want to bring out all of it.

“Do you believe I’m not?”

You step closer. He looks down to your feet then back up to meet your gaze. “You’re dodging the question.”

“It’s a weird question to ask.”

You’re close enough to punch him, now, if need be. You won’t. But it’s a good thing to note.

“I don’t think it is, all things considered.”

“Uh,” a meek voice comes from behind you. You turn towards the door to see a man from the group stand with a bottle in hand, moving around uncomfortably, “The others are arguing about rations… You should come.”

You take this as the perfect opportunity to clear your head and not to let your irritation get the better of you. You hum absentmindedly and walk past him to get to the store where you expect everyone to be, leaving the man and a scowling Eunhyuk behind.

“Is- Is something wr—”

“Everything’s fine.”

Everything is wrong.

It’s been less than a day since your argument with Eunhyuk when a new problem enters your life. A guy that looks about your age, that you remember walking past when he moved in, who fell from nine floors high in the stairway. He’s lying on the floor with blood all over and around him. Everyone is scrambling to take a look and Seo Yikyung has to be the one to hold them back, because you and Eunhyuk are too busy checking the supposedly dead man’s pulse for the third time.

“He’s breathing.” you sigh, pulling away your trembling hand from his face again. This is insanity.

“It’s impossible…”

“Get a grip.” you shove Eunhyuk’s shoulder, “Impossible isn’t in our vocabulary right now. Weird as this may be, we can’t just leave him here, so start thinking or I’ll make the decisions.”

He’s shaken out of his thoughts, alright, but now he seems another kind of confused that you can’t bring yourself to try deciphering. He calls your name but you don’t respond.

You don’t exactly look down, but you start to kneel to reach towards the body on the floor. You need to carry him somewhere else, where no one will see how bad it is. There’s kids here and the adults aren’t reliable. You can’t let this cause more trouble.

Your gaze is looking anywhere else but at the corpse— Person. Alive. You almost grab him when Eunhyuk stops you with a hand on your shoulder, effectively causing you to flinch.

“It’s fine. I’ll do it.”

He hoists the limp body up on his back with some effort and holds him tightly so he doesn’t fall. “Tell them to go elsewhere. It’ll only cause issues for them to see more than needed.” he tells you, nodding towards the hallway. The blood that gets on his clothes and the state of the one he carries unsettles you a little, but you nod and hurry outside.

“Go to the daycare.” you say, voice hoarse. Everyone’s chattering does nothing to help you calm down. You’re not sure if they didn’t hear you or if they simply don’t care. “I said go! Right now!” you exclaim, much louder. 

The talking silences and everyone reluctantly heads to that place, though clearly still trying to get a glimpse of the situation. You breathe out sharply and stare down at the floor. Your reflection meets you halfway on the tiles, showing you just how little control you currently have on the emotions you usually hide so well. You’ve seen people get killed too many times since this all started but this is was one too many. 

You can’t even tell if the stranger’s fall was accidental, if it was suicide, if… You can’t think.

Eunhyuk passes by you and you barely notice. Or rather, you force yourself not to notice.

So much blood.

The sun sets and rises again. Tension does as well.

“We can’t keep on using him.” you say upon stepping into the security office. Eunhyuk is leaning against the desk, eyes trained on the several CCTV screens when you come in, and he seems like he’s about to leave the moment you start talking. You close the door and he gives up. He seems to know there’s no point in trying to leave, now.

“Who?”

“Don’t play dumb. We both know you’re not.”

“High compliments coming from you.”

You sigh and step further into the room. “I’m not in the mood to argue, Lee Eunhyuk. Cha Hyunsu, he… He doesn’t deserve to be treated this way. You know it, too.”

Eunhyuk is silent. You see his thumb tapping against the desk rhythmically, like he’s thinking hard about something.

“Lee Eunhyuk.”

“I heard you.”

“Then say something!” you scream.

Eunhyuk turns to look at you. You take a breath. It’s unlike you to let your anger turn to yelling but you feel hopeless. Cha Hyunsu is just a boy your age trapped in circumstances he never asked for, and forced to do the worst part of the work around Green House. Eunhyuk never wanted to send anyone upstairs, yet he decided to send Hyunsu there. Because he’s a monster? Because he survived a several floors high fall? Because he was doomed to live in-between two kinds of evil, neither of which truly accepts him?

It just feels like it hits you harder today that this world will continue to be this cruel. And you two are not making it any better.

“This is the best way.” Eunhyuk says, unfazed. “The group needs to survive. You said it yourself. Cha Hyunsu’s the best bet we have at getting this result.”

“We saw him die, Eunhyuk.”

“He’s alive. You know that.”

“This is unfair.”

“The world is unfair.”

You look elsewhere, annoyed. Eunhyuk calls your name in the same tone he always does. “Your sympathy is useless.”

“What kind of leaders are we if rid of any compassion?”

“… The kind needed to survive.” he says quietly, gaze cast downwards. “Jisu asked for band-aids. Could you bring them to her for me?”

Anything’s a good enough distraction from whatever spiral you feel yourself falling into.

“Sure.”

Days pass. Your anger subsides.

“But didn’t you say it was okay to go there?”

“No, I didn’t.” Eunhyuk crosses his arms, “Who told you that?”

A name is mentioned in reply.

You sneeze.

“Aye, did you catch a cold?” Eunyu scoffs, laughing smoke at the face you seem to be making. “That’s bad. Catching a cold during an apocalypse? Seriously.”

You and the girl are sitting on the fire escape stairs, on the floor closest to the main hall. She has a habit of disappearing to go smoke, or whatever else she does, and you don’t want her getting killed. She didn’t seem to mind you coming to check up on her the first time, and now you have a habit of disappearing to hang out with her.

“I’m fine.” you click your tongue, “Anyways, you shouldn’t be smoking out there. If your brother was here he’d be pissed.”

“Who cares? Let’s not act like he ever shows it.”

You roll your eyes a little and chuckle. “Sure.” you hum, “Still. What’s the point in smoking? During an apocalypse, too? That’s bad.”

She flips you off and you return the gesture, earning a laugh in return. You don’t talk to many people in this place. Your age differs from nearly everyone. Eunyu’s a bit younger, so you’re mostly watching over her. Then there’s Hyunsu, but there’s a nearly visible wall between him and everyone. You can’t blame him for putting distance between you two especially. As far as he’s concerned, you’re also responsible for the errand-running he’s been told to do.

There’s Yikyung, but you’ve struggled to get close since you told her to shove off when she had Eunhyuk pinned to a wall. You’re not sure why you did that, even now. She’d be better company than him, maybe. And you understand her reasons.

Then there’s Eunhyuk.

“Serious talk, listen up.” Eunhyu huffs, “What relationship do you entertain with my brother?” she mimics a serious sounding voice that’s so unlike her. It makes you scoff in amusement.

“He’s a…” You trail off. What is he? A friend? An acquaintance? Whatever could be considered a coworker, at the moment? A fellow leader? “Uh, a person.”

Eunyu gives you this look that is so clearly judgemental that you consider jumping off the railing promptly.

“Yeah, no shit. Good to know he’s not turning.” she scoffs, “I know you hate him. Spit it out.”

“I don’t recall ever feeling that way.” you lie with an obviously fake smile. Eunyu threatens to throw her lighter at you. “He’s fine, alright? We just work together, I guess.”

“He likes you.”

“Hm?”

“He doesn’t hate you, I mean. You’re not stupid, so you noticed, right?” she says before bringing the cigarette to her lips again. You’re confused and it must show because she sighs in annoyance. “Clearly, I’d say the real leader is you out of you two. Aren’t most decisions yours?”

“They’re ours. Mostly his. Trust me, my opinion isn’t as valued as you might believe.”

Her expression suddenly sours and she curses under her breath. “And I think you’re wrong. Anyways, I’ll leave you with the jerk.” she coughs, pushing herself off of the stairs, “Bye.”

You hum curiously as you watch her leave before turning around. Lee Eunhyuk. Of course.

The first thing he does is shove your shoulder.

“What the hell?” you scoff, scrambling up to your feet before you can lose your balance. It’s such an unexpected move from him that you can’t help the words that slip past your lips. “What’s your deal?”

“Returning the gesture. What’s yours?”

“Huh?”

“The gate to the store alley. I said it should stay closed.” he says, “So why are three people on their way back from there telling me I allowed it?”

“Because I allowed it.” you say casually. “It had medicine, water, and some canned foods. Besides, we needed fresh air.”

He stays silent for at least half a minute before he steps closer to you. Close enough for your hands to touch if your arms were to move an inch. “It’s not safe. I said so enough, didn’t I?”

“Have you ever cared about safety?”

“I have—”

“About the people’s, about the half-monsters’s, about yours?”

Your name sounds tense when he says it.

“About mine?”

“Do you ever stop talking?” he grits his teeth. His eye twitches. You wouldn’t have noticed it had you been further away. No, you… you would have. You know his every feature and emotions too well by now. You would realize the most unnoticeable of changes from him. Any of them.

He’s angry.

There.

“Does that piss you off? That I talk so much?” you say, “Is it a problem because you never do? Does hearing someone so much get on your nerves? Should I leave the leading you? Are your decisions supreme? Am I too talkative? Is that it? Is that it?”

He kisses— He almost kisses you. He stops short of pressing his lips against yours, short of holding your collar and bringing it up to meet his chest, short of everything you only now realized would’ve been so good to have.

For fuck’s sake. “You’re holding back.”

“There’s no point in causing unnecessary fights.”

“You’re a coward.”

“You—”

You tilt your head, like you want him to finish his sentence. You do. He’s realized this much.

He takes a breath to calm down and steps back, much to your dismay.

“I know why you used to be so self-centered.”

“That’s…” you trail off, before laughing in disbelief. “What?”

“You almost got killed at the alley to the store, the one you just allowed to be opened. First day of the apocalypse. I remember it. You looked terrified. Then you put your survival above anyone else’s.” he says, “And yet now, you keep on trying to go. That’s something I don’t understand.”

You swallow, images of that monster nearly killing you with its claws, and dragging away a bloodied, dismembered corpse when it failed to find you. The feeling of someone pulling you back into the shadow so you wouldn’t get noticed, and the chaos that ensued in the main hall so quickly that you never got to see who it was.

… Wait?

“That was you.”

“It doesn’t matter who it was. You changed.” he cuts off any questions you might have, “You used to be selfish. People falsely believed you were a good leader just because you seemed strong. But you didn’t care about anyone’s lives except yours.”

“… So what? What changed?” you ask quietly, “Did you fall for it, too? Because I’m still the same, as far as I’m concerned.”

“You don’t get it.”

“I do—“

“The you I first talked to in the security room would’ve never went out of their way to make sure some high-schooler is doing fine. They wouldn’t have been this upset over a random half-monster running errands. You would have been unbothered. And that store you seem so obsessed with would’ve been emptied of the basics before anyone could get them. But it was full, wasn’t it? The store was untouched.”

You’re not sure what to say. Where is he going with this?

“Fine.” you settle with that. “Let’s say that, somehow, you’re right. Then should we talk about you? That you changed, too?”

“This isn’t about me.”

“You never talk this much. Why are you so obsessed with this?”

“… I just wanted you to know.” he says, but it sounds like he’s withholding another response. “It didn’t feel right for me not to tell you I knew about what happened after all this time. Also I need you to come back now. People are gonna crowd the store too much for it to be left without any rules.”

You look away. Decide. Look back at him. “Fine.”

Lives come and go. The obvious is ignored.

A lot of guns were pointed at a lot of people’s heads today. You’re unsure why the image of Eunhyuk stuck to the floor with a gun pointed to his forehead is stuck in your mind so much. It keeps rewinding— Reminding you that you were both helpless there, that you got lucky he even survived it all.

There’s so much blood everywhere.

Someone says your full name, with a tone much too casual to match what seemed to be politeness and with such ease that it can only be one person. He grabs your arms and tries to catch your gaze. “Are you okay?”

“Are you crazy?” you whisper, looking at him. He looks like a mess. “You almost got killed, Eunhyuk.”

“So did you. Don’t downplay it.” he argues. You expect his grip to loosen now that he’s seen you’re alright enough to talk but it only seems to tighten, “We have a few minutes to get it together before we have to go back to the usual. So be honest for once.”

Being honest…

You look at him, and your eyes are burning. “Fuck, Eunhyuk, I don’t know why I’m this scared.” you cough out, hands tensing at your sides.

He carries something gentler in his gaze, something you’re unfamiliar with. His hand drops to your wrist and he squeezes it. “Breathe.” he says, and you try, but it’s like you’re struggling to get the air in and out of your lungs. It’s burning, too. Why?… You’re panicking. That’s why. Your breaths come out short and that uneasiness who loves to get in the way of your thoughts is back. You can’t do anything, right now— you wouldn’t be able to get anyone to survive, let alone yourself.

Eunhyuk’s hand grabs your hastily and he brings it to his chest. “Slow down. Just breathe. That’s all that matters, right now.”

“Are you breathing?”

“I am. I need both of us to be. So listen to me.”

“Yeah.”

And just like a doctor would, he guides you to something calmer. Your gazes are locked the whole time. He insisted. Don’t look anywhere else, he said, just me. He helps you remember how to breathe again, helps you remember how to think, and helps you remember you have a lot to do immediately.

“We need to go.” you say, back to the closest thing to normal you could manage. “Hyunsu’s gone. Did anyone get shot? You should—”

“You should go grab the medkits. The ones in the nursery. Bring them here. I’ll take care of it.”

You don’t argue. “Okay.

Ah!” — But you nearly lose your footing. You hear Eunhyuk breathe out something that almost sounds like a laugh and turn around to glare.

“You’ll be lightheaded for a bit. Be careful.”

“Oh, yeah, okay.” you scoff. You hear Eunyu yell something along the lines of ‘It’ll be fine, so stop looking and get to work—‘ but you’re too far away to catch all of it.

The skies darken before the light comes back again. Things are eerily quiet.

When leadership becomes worthless, it’s hard to keep a proper sense of identity. Everyone has seen you and Eunhyuk as their leaders for a long while now. But since Jung Uimyeong’s arrival and the clear impact he’s had on the group’s dearest Cha Hyunsu, the atmosphere has suffered a drastic change. It feels tense for everyone but the newfound duo. It’s suffocating.

But instincts remain the same. Survival is key, and that means gathering information is, as well. You need to get what Uimyeong’s plan is before it escalates, but you know he would have no interest in talking to you.

So Hyunsu, it is.

“You don’t trust me.”

“But I do! I’ve always trusted you, Hyunsu.”

The latter keeps on walking and you have to jog to catch up. This is ridiculous, how could he allow a stranger to change him so much? Did he convince him the people here were the real enemy? You wouldn’t be surprised. Still…

“Just stop and have an actual conversation with me.” you scoff.

He does just that, stops in his tracks, and you nearly run into him. He turns around slowly to look at you. Hyunsu’s expression is usually devoid of emotion but now it’s just cold. “I don’t want to talk to you. Everything you say’s a lie. You don’t trust anyone here. I’ll say good luck to the people who still think you’re a good leader.”

“Isn’t that too much?” Eunhyuk. “Especially since you know it’s not true. Or were you influenced by that guy so easily?”

Hyunsu glances at him, then back at you, before directing his glare to Eunhyuk again. “Find someone else to run your errands. I’m tired of it.”

“That’s not—”

“Leave him be.” Eunhyuk says as Hyunsu walks away. You sigh and rub your temples. This isn’t good. “There’s no point in trying to reason with him now.”

“So what, we don’t do anything? Leave things as they are?”

“We do.”

You sigh and turn around to let your head drop on his shoulder. Eunhyuk brings his hand to the back of your head and leaves it there. You’re not sure how or why this change happened between the two of you after the shootout, but neither of you mention it. It might be for the best.

“I’m tired.” you mumble.

“You should get some rest.” he says quietly, “There isn’t much to take care of, right now. You should be able to sleep for a bit.”

“How long is a bit?”

“Until I wake you, approximately.”

“… Fine by me.”

The sun sets—

“Wake up.”

“Hmm…?” you force yourself to open your eyes and look up. God, the world’s blurry. “What?”

“Switch. I need to rest for a bit.”

You nod lazily and sit up on the bed, making space for him to sit. He settles at your side and turns to look at you. “Look here.” he says (demands) with a hand on your jaw. You turn and feel like he’s scrutinizing your face. “Any injuries?”

“Not anything new, no.” you say, “You?”

“The same.” he sighs, dropping his hand. It’s your turn to touch his face. You hold the side of it in your hand and let your thumb graze the skin under his eye. His glasses are good to hide his eyes, you think. But you’re always close enough to see them. After the shooting, you remember something, despite the state you were in.

“You cried.” you say. He hums inquisitively at that. “When those guys barged in and stuff. When you came back after going with them, you looked like you’d been crying.”

“Not really. I was just upset.”

“Because?”

“Is there not enough reasons to be upset in this place?” he deadpans, and scoffs silently when you give him a look. “I couldn’t save Ms. An. I watched her get shot.”

You have half a mind to hold back from squeezing his head to death. “And you didn’t think it worth mentioning? That’s bad, Eunhyuk.”

“I’ve… Seen worse.”

“That’s stupid.”

“You’re stupid.”

You look at him with wide eyes. “Take it back.”

“Or else?” he asks. Oh. Oh. He’s teasing you. What the hell? This is new. Your hand drops to grab his collar. You get deja-vu. Something similar happened before. He looks down at your hand then back up at you.

“You really want to find out, do you?”

There’s something in the air. Something you would’ve usually described as tension, but it almost feels comfortable. You know Eunhyuk well yet you can’t tell what’ll happen next. You could guess, though. Each word and touch means more now than it used to.

(Maybe they always meant something, maybe you just chose to ignore it.) 

He stares at you for a few seconds then tilts his head to the side, expression unreadable. “I do.”

Your fingers tighten around his collar and he smiles. His hand comes up to wrap around your wrist, slowly pulling it away from him. “Hey…?”

“But I don’t think I’ll find out about anything. You’re a liar, after all. And a coward, just like me.” he says, all whilst gently pushing you to lay on the mattress. He does it so naturally it takes you a moment to realize. He hovers over you with your wrist still in hand. “Is that fine with you?”

“You insulting me or you pinning me down?”

“You decide.” he sighs, pressing your wrist down gently next to your head, “Would I be wrong to assume you don’t really mind either of those?”

You decide to shut him up instead. He takes it well.

“You taste a bit bloody.”

“Deal with it.”

[kaihuntrr]

part thirty/closing remarks: author's closing notes

Ending notes to the fic before it returns on the 27th of November!

Hello! Kai, speaking here, post-birthday time (though I have a lot of commitments to do for the upcoming days, haha)! Technically it’s still the 18th in some other parts of the world, so it’s still technically my birthday, so I’m happy to say that Act I is well and truly over. This has been SUCH a while ride and I’m excited to embark on the next one. Now that I’m talking about it, I’d like to be a little mushy about my feelings on it since I’ve been having so much fun writing it. 

Truely, The Sea Prince was just meant to be a personal project of mine that I thought I could just scatter bits and pieces of over on tumblr to see if people actually wanted to get interested in it. I didn’t expect gaining friends and having a bunch of people really get invested with what I have! Still, I’m happy to have gotten a strong audience, and I hope the next act is welcomed with open arms. 

With some tentative planning, Act II is due to set sail on November 27th! 

This is so my co-writer and I can build up a bulk of edits and backlogs for the fic to keep that consistent, every-other-week schedule! It also just so happens that a new life series is around the corner, so perhaps it’ll help stoke some future things for acts III to V? We shall definitely see! 

Anyway, that’s enough rambling from me. Before I go, I want to give out a short excerpt of the prologue for Act II, just so you all have something to chew on before the upcoming Life Series! <3 Take care everyone, and I’ll see you on the 27th, should everything go according to plan! (If not, best to check out tumblr, but I’ll do my best to keep on schedule <3)

———

Another day, another perfect time to set sail.

Another chance to strike at the beasts that terrorized the people.

Grian stood proudly at the bow, facing the large iron gate in the distance. He saw the large shadow cast by the stone walls, its darkness providing a sense of safety to the town’s citizens with  a glint of the canons that adorned the top. It was a ready defense from any invading monsters, though they never dared to swim close to the islands. Maybe those monsters had some intelligence after all if they knew to stay away from the kingdom. They were protected by the king, the navy, and the hunters, each one ensuring humanity could live and thrive within the walls. It was good. It was perfect. 

It was home. 

It was going to be another exciting day. The crew planned to sail off into the sea, to find some beasts to kill, and to return to the love and warmth of the people and recover. Prepare, leave, kill, return, rest, then repeat. The simple, monotonous life of a hunter was easier said than done. A lot of hunters risked their lives every day to keep the people safe and sound. It was one of the most noble deeds a person could do in their life- it was even more noble to be acknowledged by the king himself. 

One day, this crew was going to earn the king’s approval. They had already slain small packs of those disgusting monsters, an impressive feat compared to the one or two beasts other crews their age had taken down. It was only a matter of time before the king addressed him, his brothers, and their crew. Then, they’d be hunters for the king– better than all the rest! It was going to be one of the best days of their lives, he just knew it. 

After all, he was the cunning Grian Solidarity. He was the youngest of his family and had the biggest hunger to prove himself on the wild seas. He and his brothers had made this crew not too long ago, and with how much money they’d been raking in, they just had to be the best out of all the people their age! The amount of people who had looked down on them for just being green, overeager upcomers wasn’t surprising, but Grian could bet those people were eating their own insults now. They just had to be!

Grian rested his hands on the railing, breathing in the fresh air, and hummed in delight. The ship was prepared to set sail and the others would likely return before the gates were scheduled to open. He’d done his part- checking on the weapons and restocking the ship with ammo was pretty easy when he was with Mumbo and Scar- so he had the luxury of sitting back, relaxing while waiting for the others to get on board–

“Grian?” He jumped at the sound of his name. He turned around to see Joel looking around, worried. “Have you seen Jimmy? I haven’t seen him anywhere.” Grian frowned, suddenly concerned.

Jimmy had been acting weird lately. Not only had he gotten that flower tattoo out of nowhere, but he’d been acting a lot more aloof on their hunting trips too. He’d been acting like that for a couple of months at least. He had been pretty scared of the ocean before, when they were younger, but a little exposure therapy didn’t hurt and he’d been fine. It also wasn’t the first time that he had wandered around like this- but he usually came back well before the ship would set sail.

Grian hummed, trying to recall if he had seen his brother in the past few… hours, probably. He ran through where he’d last seen the other members of their crew. He’d seen Cleo hanging around with Mumbo, Scar and Bdubs were doing something together, and Lizzie was out in the port talking to Martyn before he was due to set off with the Kestrels. Grian remembered catching Joel glancing at Lizzie a dozen times earlier, silently wishing she could join them on their hunts. “...No, I haven’t,” he finally said, putting a hand on his chin. “Any idea where he’d be?”

“No, that’s why I was asking you in the first place…,” Joel grumbled. “He’s probably in the harbor somewhere, let’s go look for him.”

“But I just got comfortable…,” Grian jokingly complained. One sour look from Joel made him roll his eyes and relent. Jimmy knew this town like the back of his hand, just like the rest of them. He wasn’t lost, Grian was sure of it. “Fine. But Tim’s probably just wandering around again. You know how he is.” He shrugged. Joel made a small frown and sighed, but followed Grian as the two descended from the ship and into the hustle and bustle of the port town behind them.

To be continued in Act II: Bait.

[pinkpinkmermayyy]

so this is something I talked about on my old acc but I’m bringing it up here now

ghostflower tangled au!!!

heads up for a really long post lol

@adorefavv @ace-and-sleepdeprived @chessbox @darksidescorner @daydreaming-en-pointe @hoe-bie @i-put-the-wit-in-dimwit @skullghoulz @sp1derw1re @spiderkittens @spidey-bie @thecrowandtherose @the-cat-and-the-birdie @thisismisogynoir @punkeropercyjackson @l0starl @t1r4misuu @zainnbug @urmadiik @tatumis-a @ohara-n-brown

___

so there’s two ways I think this could go:

#1: In Brooklyn of universe-1610, Miles is still a baby, being taken care of and loved by his parents. One night, when Rio tucks him into the crib and leaves the room, Miguel O’Hara, the Spider-Man of universe-928, carefully opens the locked window open and steps inside, making sure to stay silent. He walks over to the crib where Miles is sleeping soundly, unaware of the crime that the man is about to commit. Miguel knows it’s horrible, kidnapping a child for them to never see their true family again, but it’s necessary for the security of the multiverse, no matter how much it hurts. He tries his best not to compare him to his past child, Gabriella, as he slowly picks up the sleeping baby and cradles him gently. However, Miles wakes up as soon as Miguel touches him, and starts crying at the unfamiliar face. Miguel hears Rio and Jeff walking up to the room and quickly dashes towards the open window, only hearing her gasp loudly as he faces the room one last time, eyes glowing a vibrant red as his claws carries the fragile child in his hands. And just before the two horrified parents can do anything, he vanishes.

Jeff and Rio search everywhere, with an ongoing case to search for Miles happening more than a year, but it’s no use. Miguel took Miles to his universe and locked him in a secluded tower within the spider society, raising him as his own from then on. Miguel truly believes that Miles is an anomaly, and that the only way to stop him from getting bitten is by removing him from his home entirely, and he reveals some of that to Miles. But he also lies to him about the world, telling him that’s it’s a dangerous wasteland filled with horrible monsters that have killed most civilization off, and that the only people remaining besides them are selfish and cruel, wicked people that would not hesitate to torture a “fragile” child like Miles. This makes Miles absolutely terrified of the outside world, making him reluctant to leave and even easier for Miguel to handle.

But Miles is secretly still curious about the world. He’s read about it in his limited selection of books, and along with his interest in drawing and arts in general, he wants to at least get a glimpse of the world, hoping that there might still be some beauty in the “wasteland.” Of course Miguel refuses, and his hopes are low, until his 15th birthday. Every year on his birthday, LYLA, the extroverted and sneaky ai assistant of Miguel, would show Miles the lanterns that unbeknownst to him, happen right in his universe by his parents as a way to mourn him. This strengthens his yearning to go outside, without Miguel even knowing it.

Then we have Gwen, a new recruit in the spider society, is exploring the building of the society and finds the secluded tower within a separate part of the building, and gets promptly knocked out with a frying pan by Miles. When she wakes up, the whole conversation between Eugene and Rapunzel in the original film happens between Miles and Gwen, with him being convinced to go outside with her. The whole story plays out like Tangled, except instead of dying, Miguel escapes and retreats to another part of his universe, plotting a way to still “preserve the canon.”

___

Now here’s the second one:

This is much closer to Tangled, with the Morales family being royalty and living in a kingdom very similar to Corona. Rio is pregnant but also extremely ill, and Jeff orders all of the guards (including Aaron, who is the Captain of the Guard here) to search for a possible cure, one of which being the elusive magic golden flower from Tangled. Doctor Olivia “Liv” Octavius used this flower to not only stay young for thousands of years to continue other scientific research of hers, but she also studies the flower for other ways it can benefit herself.

One day, the guard finally find the flower and take it to the castle, feeding it in a soup to Rio. A little after that, she gave birth to Miles, who inherited the same healing powers from the flower through his hair, which was now blonde. Everything seemed happy for the family, until Olivia broke in at night and decided to kidnap the child for her own gain. She keeps Miles in a tower just like in Tangled and uses his powers for her experiments and to stay alive, while acting as his mother. The whole story plays out the same, with Gwen being Eugene and Kingpin and The Spot/Johnathon Ohn being the Stabbington Brothers.

[homescreakingshutters]

A breakdown of the "lost" transcript

I posted the transcript of the so called "lost transcript" from the new welcome home update. I now share with you the ramblings I spewed out regarding this haunting tale.

I'm considering making a youtube video about this. Share your thoughts if this sounds interesting to you.

The actual transcript is separated from my thoughts by bullet points. I'm coming back to flesh these out at a later date, promise 😊.

The Breakdown

Have you ever wondered why it is that we stay indoors every night? 

The show ends at the end of the day

It is because this town is rumored to have visitors at night. 

Who makes up these rumors? The directors? The writers? Is it an underlying story to scare irl kids?

Something deep within the forest, far beyond the hills and mountains. 

Obviously beyond the reaches of the mind of a child watching the show, and therefore the characters within.

No one knows what it wants or where it’s going, just that it is persistent. Just that it arrives here. So many stories have risen about their origins, but I know what they’re searching for.

Suddenly meta, is this thing another neighbor?

(auditory glitches, “searching for,searching for, searching for, searching for, searching for”)

It is looking for neighbors who have stayed up past the daytime to gobble them up whole. 

Children’s bedtime story (monster under the bed vibes)

That is why so few live here. 

Obviously the ocs we have are not canon, but perhaps the neighborhood was much larger before, and the cast of characters we have now are the only neighbors that knew to stay out of things that didn’t concern them.

It moves through the streets at night, but it doesn’t break into homes. 

This thing is extremely patient

However, on rare instances, it will find itself with an appetite left unsatisfied by it’s aimless wandering. Even the occasional unfortunate insect that has crossed it’s path is not enough. 

It’s docile to a point

Those who live through the night say that it isn’t quiet about it either. They always say you can hear when it gets closer to you. 

Okay, definitely giving off scary children’s “Moral Of The Story” tale. A warning?

Do you know what sound it makes? 

Again, very meta. The story is no longer to everyone, IT’S FOR YOU!

I hear it every night. You can hear it too, if you listen. Especially if you wait next to your window. 

Sally hears it every night? How scary, she must be so brave- wait, instructions for how to hear the beast? THE BEAST? THE DEVIL? WALLY AND RELIGIOUS SYMBOLISM?? SALLY REPRESENTING LUCIFER, GOD’S RIGHT HAND MAN UNTIL “THE BRIGHTEST STAR FELL FROM THE SKY??? Sally certainly wants to be on Wally’s good side.

Holy Shit™, S ALLY and W ALLY?? 

I’m actually an idiot. The above line had me reeling when I first heard it.

First, there’s a rustling from the bushes. Then, a scratching on the pavement, and the walls, as it crawls up. 

This is absolutely not an average felt covered, puppeteered, soft marionette. This is a visceral, cruel, and cunning creature. The idea that a fleshy, hungry, and evil creation is in the same area of a colorful, bright, and happy show is horrifying, just as the dark spiral behind Home was horrendous when first discovered.

Finally, if you're quiet, you can hear it’s guttural sound.

Again. 

Shitting my pants.

Much like Eddie’s reactions to Julie, Frank, and Sally’s stories

[wevelocityteampresents-blog]

Pokémon Pocket Monsters BW Volume 1 - Chapter 12

After stopping Team Plasma from another one of their vicious plots. a Tirtouga invites Red and the others to his home in the Abyssal Ruins.

After tackling the Nimbasa City gym, the next obvious destination would be... ...Undella Town. For some reason, Anakubo decided to let Red, Pikachu, and Clefairy take a break in an area far off from their travel route. If you didn't know, Undella Town is on the other side of the country.

I guess the real reason Anakubo picked Undella Town over Driftveil City is because of the Abyssal Ruins.

Instead of being an expansive ruin with various ancient writing on the walls and floor, it's depicted in the manga as an underwater palace. I guess the main inspiration for this version of the ruins would be Atlantis. A more ideal look for one of your main settings if you don't plan on having your characters scour the sea looking for ancient treasure.

Moving onto the characters, Team Plasma returns yet again. This time making it clearer that they aren't as supportive of Pokémon as they claim. Even though they don't stay that long during the adventure, this chapter does a good job at showing Team Plasma's true colors. After seeing them talk about their purpose in "I Want To Talk To Pokémon!", kidnapping Pikachu in "Detective Clefairy's Solo Explanation!", and bullying Tirtouga in this chapter, we've finally seen Team Plasma's true selves unfold in real-time.

As for Tirtouga, he's a bit different from other prehistoric Pokémon. Instead of being resurrected from a fossil or having been discovered sleeping beneath the earth for centuries, Tirtouga uses the ruins as his home and has lived there for the past one hundred million years. He seems like a kind old tortoise who treats nice people well.

But if Tirtouga's been living there since it was constructed, then does that mean he's been around actual human beings once in his life? And if he's been living underwater for this many years, then does the same thing apply to other members of his species? That's a question that probably won't be answered.

This chapter wasn't that bad. We got to see Team Plasma as the true villains they are, a unique twist was made on a mysterious area from the video games, and most of the jokes are pretty funny. A nice ending to an otherwise excellent beginning of the Black and White saga of the Pokémon Pocket Monsters manga!

This concludes Pokémon Pocket Monsters BW. (For now at least...)

After all the series I've read through, the Black and White saga proves to be my absolute favorite. Certain story elements and plotlines are made clearer to readers who've never read any of the previous volumes, and the way newer characters and Pokémon were adapted into the Pokémon Pocket Monsters canon was done very well (most of the time, anyway...) and it's enjoyable to see them pair up with Red and Clefairy. On top of that, I've found myself appreciating the writing and dialogue between characters with the action scenes also being entertaining for how bizarre they get and the strategies Clefairy uses to win. Red also improves a bit as a Trainer and manages to defeat a multitude of Gym Leaders and Team Plasma members within a single volume. I'd say this is honestly the best Pokémon Pocket Monsters saga Anakubo has ever made.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end. We may have seen this manga's iconic beginnings, its obscure present, and its apparent non-stop rise in quality. But pretty soon we'll reach the point where Pokémon Pocket Monsters began to lose its charm. The XY saga is upon us...

TRANSLATOR'S NOTES

In the third and fourth pages, Clefairy dresses up as Urashima Taro.

Urashima Taro is a character from a Japanese folktale of the same name. One of his most memorable moments is helping a bullied sea turtle who took him to an underwater palace as thanks. This is reflected in the chapter as Tirtouga invites Red, Clefairy, and Pikachu to his home in the Abyssal Ruins to show his gratitude to them.

On page 4, Clefairy tries to bargain with the Team Plasma grunts by sharing some kimi-dango with them.

As Red states in the same panel, Clefairy's referencing another Japanese folktale. This time it's Momotaro, the boy who was born from a peach. He also carries kimi-dango which has varying effects on the people he feeds it to. With the ones Clefairy carries around, they just set Team Plasma's mouths on fire.

Ouch...

[case-of-traxits]

How about Vincent (maybe Tseng too if that last one didn't kill you haha) for the new ask meme :D

For the Opinion Meme || Still accepting!

OOH THE PRETTIEST BOYS

Whew. Sorry this one took so long. I uh... I went hard. This got so long. It's behind a cut.

Vincent Valentine, Turk Flavor (And then Vincent, post-Chaos) (And then Tseng)

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual, but with a slight preference for women.

Gender Headcanon: Cis male.

A ship I have with said character: Vincent/Veld so much, thanks. I'm a sucker for partnerships in the Turks though, so this cannot possibly surprise anyone.

That said, I also absolutely love Vincent/Lucrecia. I have... so many feels about them.

The ship of my soul would probably be Veld/Vincent/Lucrecia, with Vincent as the hinge there. So good.

A BROTP I have with said character: Vincent/Veld. I mean, you don't really have too many options for back then, but I'm also super fond of several of @ladykf-writes's OCs as broships with him.

Honestly, I just shamelessly steal her OCs constantly. They're all deliciously written and they do so much to flesh out the world in those leaner eras.

A NOTP I have with said character: I have not personally seen anything I would consider a NOTP/squick for me with Turk!Vincent.

A random headcanon: Vincent's mother is a priestess at one of the Temples to Leviathan in Wutai. Grimoire met her while researching planetary flows, and while he drifted to and from Wutai during their relationship, he did eventually marry her. She chose to stay in Wutai though, offering him a home whenever he came back.

Vincent stayed with her for a lot of his childhood, but when he was about 10, Grimoire fetched him to start traveling the world. Vincent's not sure he's ever really forgiven Grimoire for removing him from the place he felt like 'home.'

General Opinion over said character: I love my precious cinnamon roll, okay. He's so wonderful. An absolute idiot sometimes. But wonderful.

BONUS! A song I associate with the character:

The child without a name grew up to be the hand To watch you, to shield you or kill on demand The choice he'd made he could not comprehend His blood a grim secret they had to command He's torn between his honor and the true love of his life He prayed for both but was denied So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind? So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise? Will all our sins be justified? The curse of his powers tormented his life Obeying the crown was a sinister price His soul was tortured by love and by pain He surely would flee but the oath made him stay

-- Hand of Sorrow, by Within Temptation. (You can thank @ladykf-writes for that one too.)

Vincent Valentine, post-Chaos

Sexuality Headcanon: I don't know that post-Chaos Vincent really has the emotional energy to actually spend on being attracted to anyone anymore. That said, I think he's probably far more likely to develop a sexual attraction after he's developed a romantic/emotional one, so I'll just stick him in the demisexual box.

Gender Headcanon: Vincent barely sees himself as human anymore, but if pressed, he'd say male still, I think. (Let's be real, he'd say he was a monster first.)

A ship I have with said character: Ohhhh boy. Okay, so...

Vincent/Lucrecia. I do, I still love it. Post-OG, I think Lucrecia is too broken to actually do much, but I still love his pining for her. (And her pining for him too. Mutual pining idiots.)

Vincent/Veld. Some delicious old man yaoi at this point. And Veld has some trauma of his own to contend with, and they've both had horrible things happen to their bodies without their consent and just... It's still so good.

Vincent/Tseng. I can hear the record scratches now, but listen. I always HC Vincent as half-Wutaian, and Tseng as a former Leviathan priest, and I just. I want them to talk post-canon. I want those moments of just exchanging looks and getting it in a way that most people don't.

Vincent/Reeve. I do really like this. It can be a bit squicky, given the age difference (and that my Reeve sees Veld as a father figure), but honestly, they're so good together. Dirge was a delicious snack that I thoroughly enjoyed.

A BROTP I have with said character: Vincent+Tifa and Vincent+Yuffie are absolute favorite broships of mine for Vincent. And Vincent+Reeve.

A NOTP I have with said character: Vincent/Yuffie is really my only hard no.

A random headcanon: Vincent's fixation on Lucrecia isn't just his own love for her, it's how Chaos manifests his interest in someone that he sees as being basically his first follower since the Cetra "died off."

Lucrecia is the first mortal to be as thoroughly fixated on him as she is, and she's spent years now, crystalized in the tainted mako where Chaos is from. She feels like home to him and Vincent both, even if they're not good at quantifying it.

Vincent also really likes Marlene and Denzel both.

General Opinion over said character: I really do like Vincent. I was always a little meh on him in just the OG, but I was sold on him in Dirge. I think I was only meh on him because he was so damn popular originally. I was in my not like other girls phase at the time, after all. XD

BONUS! A song I associate with the character:

And I'd sing a song that'd be just ours But I sang 'em all to another heart And I wanna cry, I wanna learn to love But all my tears have been used up On another love, another love All my tears have been used up On another love, another love All my tears have been used up On another love, another love All my tears have been used up, up

-- Another Love, by Tom Odell

Tseng of the Turks

Sexuality Headcanon: Technically bisexual, but much like Reeve, functionally gay. His is for cultural reasons more than anything though.

(Surprise! Incoming HC)

In Wutai, same sex relations are strongly encouraged up until marriage to prevent out-of-wedlock babies. So for Tseng, as an unmarried man, he would absolutely expect and be expected to sate any urges with another man. Since moving to Midgar, he has managed to wrap his head around the realization that it doesn't necessarily work that way anymore, but he still feels horribly transgressive whenever he sleeps with a woman.

Gender Headcanon: Cis male, but he has absolutely zero give-a-fucks if someone were to misgender him. He's firmly of the opinion that Midgardians wouldn't have any clue what masculinity looks like if it bit them on the ass.

Now, getting misgendered in Wutaian when he isn't actively trying to pass for some reason? That would earn a side-eye, but more because Tseng cannot imagine it happening without it expressly being done as an insult.

A ship I have with said character: I love basically everyone with Tseng, okay. Like. So good.

Tseng/Reeve is so soft and so sweet sometimes, and they're still holding secrets and just... I love it.

Tseng/Rufus is an amazing complicated dynamic, with Tseng being his trainer/teacher and Rufus being the one to actually demand/control the romantic part of their relationship.

Tseng/Sephiroth is full of these meaningful silences (if there was ever a pair who can communicate entirely in unspoken glances, it's these two), and it's so deliciously tragic.

Tseng/Reno is also super complicated (I talk about it in my Reno answers for this meme).

Tseng/Vincent was talked about up there in post-Chaos Vincent section.

Tseng/Tifa is a wonderful favorite of mine too. I just... It's all great.

A BROTP I have with said character: Tseng and Reeve. I cannot not have them be close. If I'm not shipping them, they're absolute best friends.

A NOTP I have with said character: I wouldn't say it's a NOTP exactly, but I am not super fond of Tseng/Elena. It used to be a favorite ship of mine, but the older I get, the less I care for it, so... Yeah.

A random headcanon: Oh man. Okay, so let's just... I'll discount everything I gave you guys in the 50 Random Questions post. Let's see...

Tseng can play the Erhu and the Guzheng well enough to play for the Wutaian Imperial Court. He can also draft letters in Wutaian calligraphy. He loves poetry and likes to pick up Wutaian poetry/short story collections from vendors in Little Wutai.

Speaking of, how about that one? Sector Eight is "The Turk sector" because Tseng moved there as soon as he could get his own housing in Midgar thanks to the high population of Wutaian ex-pats there. He ended up forcibly removing several infantry patrols from Eight pretty early on, all of whom had attempted to menace or attack him without realizing he was a Turk.

After that, he realized that Shinra would still need some kind of influence in the sector, so when Veld put him in charge of assigning schedules, he made sure to add patrols of Sector Eight to the standard Turk duties.

(Hilariously, I've always had Eight as the "Turk Sector," even well before CC established it as canon.)

General Opinion over said character: I love Tseng so much. He's an ass, much like Rufus, but I adore him all the same.

BONUS! A song I associate with the character:

We're going to hell, we're going to hell We're going to hell, we're going to hell my friends So what's that something sinister inside We act so civilized Devils in tuxedos Our sordid hearts are far too hard to hide What's that 'neath the floorboards? Boom boom Boom boom Boom boom We're going to hell, we're going to hell We're going to hell, we're going to hell

-- We're Going to Hell, by Cursive

[fallen-in-dreams]

CHAPTER SEVEN on AO3.

Chapters on Tumblr: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.

Pairing: Gaara/Sakura.

Summary: Her descent into madness came after her friends were all dead and before she was sold off like livestock. To him. He knew a thing or two about madness. And there was peace to be found in the violence of that madness. Even if only for a time. Canon divergence AU.

Rated: Mature.

Chapter word count: 6,917.

Status: Ongoing.

Reminder: the tags/warnings are important.

Warnings: dark themes. Arranged marriage (not what you think). Eventual smut (level and degree of that warning being necessary is subjective). Death. Suicide talk. Self-harm. PTSD – expect some well-known symptoms and some not well-known ones. Please don’t read if you’re triggered by psychological &/or emotional-related trauma and effects.

Enjoy. ^_^

Tumblr version:

… Chapter Seven: Fire and Smoke. ...

.:.

In the spring we made a boat Out of feathers, out of bones We set fire to our homes Walking barefoot in the snow

-- Your Bones, by Of Monsters and Men

.:.

Sometimes, being the leader of a village was both a position of power and weakness. It meant he had the power to protect his people. But he was also a target of political machinations. A pawn, when one looked closer. But a pawn to who? The council? His duty to the village? Inter-village relations and political leverage?

His resolution to stay romantically single hadn’t even survived that one.

Gaara rubbed his temples gently, staring unseeing at the reports in front of him as his mind whirred, ignoring the polite cough of the other person in the room.

For the first handful of years as Kazekage he was not nearly as proactive as he had now become. He never used to do much in the way of conversing during council meetings or standing up for himself when the old men slipped back into the bad habit of presuming the worst of him. He’d figured they just needed time. And he needed to become a cog in the system before he could understand how it worked enough to tilt it on its head. There was a pre-existing system in place. A traditional way of doing things. He was young and naïve; a fifteen-year-old taking office, no matter how powerful, did nothing to influence old men who deemed themselves wiser.

So instead of trying to change their minds on day one, he listened. And he learned.

He inevitably came to the conclusion that it wasn’t a surprise when his plan to play the game did not work. All that happened was the council spoke over him. They spoke past him. They tried to take a number of matters that weren’t under their direct jurisdiction into their own hands. Even the members that had stopped seeing him as the beast he carried within. So, if he wanted to be heard, Gaara waited out their tangents first. Or he raised his voice, which was a thing he was not comfortable with, and they knew it.

He’d memorised the law, inside and out. He knew everything that was expected of him. But it took for the literal invasion of Suna, and his own coming back from the dead, for Gaara to finally put his foot down. Because there was still so much that he didn’t know. Unspoken rules. Unsaid expectations. Lessons that only time and experience could teach him. That, and a strange old man who held more wisdom and influence than the entire council combined.

Ebizō-san.

Chiyo’s brother came out of retirement and rendered all Gaara’s attempts to bring the council in line inert. Now the council leader, who only answered to the Kazekage, Ebizō was his shield when Gaara stood up and wanted to talk. Ebizō was stronger than even Baki, that way. Though he still grated on Gaara’s nerves sometimes, his presence was appreciated.

He picked up the report on the top of the stack in front of him and glared at it. Gaara was learning to hate himself again. It was an old, bad habit. But this was more than his typical feeling of guilt at letting things get so bad in the council. His loyalty was first and foremost to his village, and it oftentimes meant making difficult decisions, but he couldn’t think of the last time he’d made an important decision that he hadn’t later regretted. While Baki brought him reports on missions and sly messages from Ebizō kept him up-to-date on official matters that the rest of the council would not approve of him knowing, all Gaara could think about was her.

His Anbu had been correct.

Though he couldn’t bring himself to cast any doubt on Sakura’s person, the evidence was that she had a violent and saddistic streak previously unknown to him or the council. Even the most disagreeable council member did not trust Danzo, and by association, Sakura bore that same level of suspicion. She was so much more damaged than he thought, but the Anbu’s line of reasoning was just how dangerous she was. And he was right. She’d killed that would-be assassin with vigour. With delight. Much the way Shukaku once did.

“It could be a diversion,” the Anbu had wisely added when Gaara stood up for Sakura after that night.

Of course. It would likely have all been Danzo’s plan. Pretend Sakura was a victim, have the Root member be the red herring. Then she gets in under Gaara’s defence and kills him, opening Suna up to invasion or worse. The council were not aware of any details beyond knowing some foreign shinobi had broken in. But surely, they would echo the Anbu’s sentiment if they did know. And maybe order to have Sakura taken out of the picture.

No.

The evidence did not show a causation between the Root member’s actions and Sakura herself, let alone one between the would-be assassin and her. There was only correlation – if you squinted and were biased against the Leaf. His own bias would not allow him to jump on this information, or so the council were saying. Gaara preferred to think of it as more that he was the only one trying to look at this objectively.

Perhaps this was one of those times where Gaara’s naivety was working against him, but he didn’t agree.

And perhaps my loyalty to the trustworthiness of Naruto’s special people is something Danzo is counting on.

There were so many possibilities. And so many concerns to appease. The Wind Daimyo was on him about this as well, arguing that all Konoha ninja were a threat to them. Gaara wasn’t sure what the man was expecting of him, really.

What would I do, if I could go back in time and choose not to become Kazekage in the first place?

“That’s the be all of it, Gaara,” Baki said, bringing the redhead back to his current problem. The man stood to attention, three feet from Gaara’s desk, looking like he was about to implode. Which for him, was just mild consternation on anyone else’s face.

Gaara just nodded, placing the report back down and resting his chin on his hands. This was not going to end well if he didn’t find a way to corral the rebellious members of the council. A minute passed in which he mused on this, while Baki grew impatient, like he had somewhere else to be.

“Will that be all, Lord Kazekage?”

Is that all?

Was he truly doing everything he could? A vivid image of Sakura appeared before him, much like she’d done once, stubbornly standing between him and his intent to kill Sasuke Uchiha. Like Yashamaru. Like the only person who’d ever cared (faked or not) about Gaara’s well-being up until then. He frowned. What was it that Yashamaru always said about medicine?

“What if you were sick?” The words were out of his mouth before he had time to question them.

“Sick?”

Gaara nodded. He might as well get another opinion. Thoughts began to form in his mind.

“I’d go to the medical core.”

Gaara almost laughed out loud at how stupid that made his question sound. It wasn’t what he meant. “I mean… in the mind.”

Baki’s only visible eyebrow rose as his face furrowed in confusion.

“If you weren’t well and needed medicine… for the mind.”

His subordinate scoffed, then schooled his features quickly when Gaara frowned at him. “My apologies. I’ve just never heard it phrased it that way. You’re talking about someone who’s mentally ill?”

“No. Yes.” The redhead sighed. “Maybe. I’m not a medic.” He wasn’t in any position to diagnose her.

“Of course.” Baki looked uncomfortable now. But the gears in his head were clearly turning.

Gaara did not underestimate Baki’s intelligence. He could see him trying to figure out who his Kazekage was referring to. A moment later, his eyes widened as though in understanding.

“There are therapists,” Baki said slowly, instead. “They’re trained to deal with people who have had trauma, no matter how small. You sit and talk about your feelings,” he added, when Gaara looked confused. “But it’s a civilian thing.”

Gaara was surprised. “There are no … therapists, for ninja?”

He should already know the answer to that, as the leader of his village. But he suddenly felt like a first year genin learning something the rest of the shinobi world took for granted. There was so much he’d never been told, being the Shukaku host. Yet so much that was obvious at the same time. Stabbed in one or more vulnerable spots? Go to the medical core. Knocked out by a genjutsu for a short period? Shake it off and forget about it. Tortured or traumatised in the line of duty? Take a day off in the local onsen. Revitalise yourself and pretend it doesn’t matter. It could be worse, right?

Gaara himself had never sat down with a professional to talk out his feelings on how he used to kill people for merely looking at him wrong: it was just something he came to terms with on his own. Something he had to deal with internally. He hadn’t thought this loneliness was unusual. Or some kind of problem. It was just a fact of life, the idea that he could’ve healed another way had never occurred to him, and nobody had been in a hurry to correct this worldview.

This therapy idea opened a world of possibilities for the future, but he needed a solution now.

For her.

“If you don’t mind me asking, who is this about?”

Gaara just gave him a blank look. Baki obediently backed off, but the curiosity was definitely burning inside of him. He was a good soldier. Gaara had never had an occasion to doubt his professionalism. He just had some obvious tells for people who knew him well enough.

“They’re…” Gaara started, wondering how to describe Sakura without giving her away. “…having trouble.”

That was an understatement.

“I presume this hypothetical person is not yourself?”

Gaara nodded.

He remembered the look in her eyes after she’d killed that assassin. The crazed expression that used to look back at him in the mirror years ago. It was unnerving to be on the outside looking in. Not knowing what to do with her was eating at him. More than he could have predicted. And that itself was worrying, but he would worry about it later.

The two men stared at one another until an idea came to Gaara. If he could not magically make a shinobi therapist appear, then perhaps he could alleviate someone of Sakura’s repressed violent urges. He knew from experience how well that could go.

“Baki.”

“Yes, Lord Kazekage?”

“My family’s training grounds…”

Baki quirked his visible eye at Gaara but said nothing, waiting for the younger man to continue.

“Do we have any weapons to spare for them?”

Baki frowned. “I don’t think so, no. Uh, no,” he added hastily, when Gaara raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ll check and let you know. Will that be all?”

He definitely has somewhere else to be.

Gaara decided to stop torturing him. “You’re dismissed.” He noted the relief on the visible side of his former sensei’s face before the man bowed deeply and left him alone. Gaara trusted his former sensei to not repeat this conversation to anyone. Especially to the other council members. They would not approve of what he was about to do.

Giving Sakura permission to use his family’s old training field would be a way of allowing her to vent some of the obvious, pent-up frustration and keep her out of the council’s line of sight. But a training ground with no weapons was about as useful as an empty billiard room with no balls. She could do some katas or moves with the kunai she took from the invader, even without any available sparring partners. It was a start, at least.

The alternative was to let her continue to wallow and waste away. He frowned. Gaara wasn’t sure how to go about procuring a therapist for Sakura, let alone how to convince her to see one. But this was the first step. Perhaps hours of physical activity would wear her down enough to be open to the suggestion.

And maybe once everything was over, this therapy idea could be good for all of his ninja. There was no downside to that, that he could see. It didn’t help him right now, but it was a thought for later.

One step at a time.

.:.

The week ended. A few days after Sakura tore the kunai from the would-be assassin, she had an unlikely visitor to her mental solitude. He’d never gone out of his way to see her before. Twenty-one days on from her initial arrival and not once had Sakura seen Kankuro outside of prearranged moments, like their nightly dinners. Whatever he did all day, she didn’t know, but she guessed it had something to do with village security or in-village missions as he hadn’t left the village at all. To her knowledge. So, what he was doing, knocking on her bedroom door this early in the morning, on a day when Gaara had arranged for her to be free of the wedding planning?

The sun had barely risen and, as far as she could tell, there was no uptick of suspicious activity in the village (or with her Root shadow) that could cause this change to their daily (or weekly) schedule. And maybe she was overthinking it, but it worried her. Sakura didn’t want to be a part of whatever security concerns he might bring to her. Was it about the Root shadow? Had they discovered the chakra trails for her ink creatures? Was she about to be questioned alongside that monkey?

Gaara would send a familiar face to interrogate me before resorting to an Anbu, right?

Standing in her doorway, he was dressed up in his usual long top and trousers, purple face paint across his cheeks and chin, highlighting his eyes, and dark hood in place with its trademark cat-like ears. He’d always given her the impression of a Kabuki stagehand outside of battle, not a puppeteer.

Sakura frowned at Kankuro as he greeted her with a nervous smile, suddenly remembering a short conversation she’d had with him after saving his life all those years ago. She’d jokingly told him he should audition for the Kabuki theatre instead of wasting his puppets, quote, “if they’re going to break this easily”. His puppets (their names escaped her) had just been dismantled by Sasori and she herself had been a part of taking the rogue ninja down for good. She couldn’t remember his response, but the conversation had started with him playfully bemoaning that she’d not only saved his life but also avenged him. It was her strongest memory with the middle child of the Kazekage clan.

Memories of happier times. Sometimes she hated them. She didn’t remember conversing with Gaara back then at all.

Kankuro smiled widely at her now. “Hey, Saks.”

She cringed at the nickname.

“Uh,” he rubbed the back of his head nervously. “Okay. Sorry about the surprise visit. I kind of have something to show you. Gaara’s orders,” he added, at her confusion. “It’s all good, I promise. It’s also outside the mansion.”

Sakura stiffened as Kankuro held his arm in a sweeping motion to indicate that she follow him. She hesitated, eyes widening and fists clenching. This wasn’t a trick, right?

“Nobody else will be there, I promise.”

She took a deep breath, ignoring the fact that he’d clearly figured out how anxious his sudden appearance had made her and followed him into the hallway. He took her down the stairs and instead of heading for the front door, moved through the hall that connected the foyer to the office and kitchen, making a beeline for the other end of the mansion. There was a wider hallway here, with several closed doors, which opened into a spacious room at the back of the house that Sakura could only imagine was once upon a time meant to host guests in a dinner party or something like that. The Kazekage mansion never failed to impress her with its opulence.

Sakura felt stupid, not knowing these rooms were here despite having been here long enough to explore this area freely. She remembered a quick tour when Kankuro had shown her through here on her first day in Suna three weeks ago, but the details were hazy. She’d been running on fumes and was kind of out of it at the time, so hadn’t mentally retained anything he’d said or showed her as they’d moved quickly through the hallways. That was too much to ask.

Now, Sakura glanced at the closed doors of the hallway suspiciously, not slowing down as she continued to follow Kankuro. He led her out the back door outside, behind the mansion. She felt a rush of shame again. In her planning to exit this village she should’ve taken the mansion’s layout into consideration. What if she was here when the opportunity to leave came? She’d need a back door, to avoid drawing attention to her escape.

And for all she knew, there were other exits she hadn’t considered, not including windows or smashing through the thinner parts of the walls.

Sakura was under the impression that the barrier jutsu around the mansion, while it encircled the home and did not stop her from coming and going, created an external blind spot at the rear of the building. She remembered it being mentioned one night, during dinner, but whether by Gaara or Kankuro, she couldn’t recall.

Kankuro stopped in front of her suddenly and turned to face her. She realised suddenly why she was here.

The training grounds were larger than she expected but still smaller than she was used to. A private, protected area would be. Kankuro gave her a few minutes to really take in the sight of everything, watching her silently. There were two sections: one was clearly meant to house weapons, sparring gear, and the likes, but it was empty of the former. The other section had training dummies and targets used in kunai training; all dented and well-worn but still very usable.

She smiled, excitement bubbling up inside of her. Both sections had steep rooves modelled after a more traditional dojo design than she’d have expected to see in the hidden sand. Sunagakure structures used predominantly clay and stucco building materials, but this training ground had a mixture of wood, steel for supports, and grass bamboo.

In a way, it reminded her of Konoha.

She swallowed heavily and turned away from Kankuro as she pushed down that emotion.

Sakura hadn’t been allowed to use the training grounds in Konoha since Danzo took over. She’d been far too busy anyway, off seducing, killing, almost getting killed, having every facet of who she was ripped away from her. Who needed to train when you spent your time hunting, fighting, or running for your life? She got enough exercise then, and plenty of opportunity to use and refine her skills on whatever unfortunate chump had a bullseye on their face and her name on their assassination mission scroll.

And sex doesn’t burn as many calories as people think.

It was no substitute for ninja training, anyway. Sakura glanced at Kankuro in the corner of her eye.

Why did he bring me here?

Was it because she had a kunai now? Were they wary of her? Better to keep your enemies close to you, right? Maybe it was innocent, and someone had decided she deserved the right to train. But there were no weapons here and she could only do so much with one kunai. Especially since more in-depth training would destroy these grounds, easily.

“The area is more delicate than typical ninja training grounds,” Kankuro was saying, as though he’d read her mind. “This isn’t really meant to be destroyed by waves of sand or your enhanced chakra technique.”

Sakura turned back to him, lifting an eyebrow.

“I know,” he said. “It’s more like an exercise ground for the basics. But it’s outside the council’s view and well…” He looked incredibly nervous. “You’re free to use it whenever you want.”

Sakura didn’t know how to process this. A training ground. For her? “Thank-you,” slipped past her lips without much thought.

He just waved away her gratitude. “This was Gaara’s idea, and he and Baki are both busy right now, so that’s why you’re stuck with me showing you around.” He was sheepish.

Gaara? That made her feel better, to be honest. She hugged herself to hide the trembling of her hands. The corners of her mouth twitched, and she didn’t fight the smile that slowly spread over her face. Remembering her last real conversation with Kankuro, years ago, made her want to poke fun at him again.

“Everyone else is busy, huh? You have nothing better to do?”

“Hey,” he said, a hand on his heart in mock hurt. “I have missions too. I’ll have you know I am invaluable in village security and paperwork. Gaara really relies on me and—”

“Right,” she said, drawing out the syllable in a cheeky tone.

Kankuro cleared his throat. “Anyway. This place is limited because of its size, and because all the weapons were confiscated by the council because of the shortage. Weapons are kind of a hot commodity right now.” Because of the Cold War, went unsaid. “But Gaara wanted you to have a way to vent your violent frustration. Not my words,” he said, waving his hands in surrender as she growled at him. “I would never say that… uh. Sorry.”

She sighed. He wasn’t wrong. Sakura let him carry on. Maybe it was guilt or a new bout of nerves, but he was rambling.

“I know it limits how you can train but that’s how it goes under the radar of the council. For the most part. They know it exists of course, but have no control over what happens here. Other than taking the weapons.” He let out an insufferable sigh. “And that Root person,” Kankuro added after a five second pause, sneering uncharacteristically. “He’ll never see or hear anything that goes on in here either, I promise.”

It sounded too good to be true, but Sakura was grateful. She really was. It wasn’t a hospital or a training ground where she could really let loose but it was unmonitored and easily accessible, via the back exit of the Kazekage mansion. She wouldn’t have to leave the property, and be followed by the shadow, to make her way here. And nobody would question where she was going when she did.

Kankuro was still talking. “Uh, yeah. So it’s at least something else to pass the time, right? You can use it for katas or accuracy training. And maybe someone will have time to spar hand-to-hand with you.”

“And you?”

“Me?”

“Do you have time to spar?”

“Right now?” He looked afraid. “Uh, probably not.”

“Chicken,” she said softly and Kankuro scoffed.

“Hey!”

Sakura forced out a laugh. This was an awkward conversation. She’d been having those kinds a lot lately.

“So, uh,” Kankuro pressed a finger to his lips, “mum’s the word.”

Sakura fingered one of the empty weapon racks. “So, this was Gaara’s idea?”

She felt her face flush, like she was a school girl asking after her teenage crush.

“Yeah he’s worried about you. Uh, we all are,” he added quickly as she spun to frown at him. “Of course we are.” He chuckled nervously. “With Danzo being an arsehole and that Root… well, we’re old friends at this point, you and us, right?”

What does he really have to be so nervous about anyway?

She was the one stuck in a foreign village with little to do but twiddle her thumbs and think up conspiracies of everyone trying to kill her.

“Yeah,” she agreed slowly.

Silence. Sakura cleared her throat and tried to think of other things to say, but other than probing Kankuro about his brother, she had nothing. She wanted to know how and why Gaara thought of this, and if he was so worried, why didn’t he come out and just talk to her about it. Her body flushed in an odd kind of excitement that he’d been thinking about her at all. She felt awkward standing next to Kankuro while daydreaming scenarios in which Gaara would join her here for lunch and help her work on her katas.

Weirdo.

She just had to admit her attraction to him, even if only to herself. It would save her a lot of trouble if she could just accept it and then organise it into its proper context. Put it in a box and file it away. No need to be embarrassed about a non-issue. It wasn’t like either of them were going to do anything about it anyway. She was safe. Safe to daydream. Safe to imagine. Safe to wish. Well, maybe that last one wasn’t so safe. No need to get her heart involved.

“Just keep it confined to this area,” Kankuro continued, breaking her thoughts. “And ssshhh about it.”

She nodded. He stood awkwardly for a moment, shuffling his feet, before giving a jaunty wave and verbal “see ya, have fun” before turning to leave.

“Kankuro?”

“Hm?”

She couldn’t look at him as he watched her closely. “Tell Gaara… thank-you.”

.:.

Clammy. Moist. Unwanted hands on her skin. A sick twist of her stomach jolted her out of an empty dream. Sakura couldn’t feel her body as the haze passed. She blinked heavily at the shifting shadows on her ceiling. She squinted. There was nothing. Her body refused to move. Silence pervaded her every sense until she couldn’t stand it any longer. The window curtains ruffled nearby, casting more shadows; her peripherals made them appear as forms of people she once knew, but she knew better. They would never come to see her now. They couldn’t. They were dead.

Why can’t I move?

Something moved languidly toward her. She couldn’t look directly at it. Morphing from the shadows, breaking away from the murk. Sakura’s heart raced even as the rest of her body lay frozen. A pressure on her chest; she could barely breathe. It was a shadow. Just a shadow. Her empty dream was leaking into reality. Or some coalesced body with a human-like form and serpentine movement. It slithered over to her, slowly, deliberately. Her body tingled with panic, and she could feel herself screaming, the breath leaving her body. But there was no sound.

Its movement was deliberate but not angry. As a lover. A friend. A slow burn nightmare. She screamed in her mind. She swore at the shadow, trying to push past invisible binds fucking move before it could reach her.

Suddenly, it reared up, spitting in anger. It didn’t like her now.

Sakura’s vision blurred even as her eyes widened. The shadow morphed once more, this time taking the shape of a kunai above her head, ready to strike. She had one final thought of this is going to kill me before the darkness lunged at her.

Sakura cried out again. Her voice filled the room. At the last second, a stronger tingling sensation spread over her body, and she launched herself to the side. There was no ripping sound of steel tearing into cotton. Coughing, she grasped at her neck, struggling to control her breathing. It was like something was trying to slither up her throat, or crawl; lodged in her oesophagus. Croaking and gasping, Sakura pulled herself along the floor, away from the bed. Her eyes darted everywhere, looking for the shadow that had almost killed her. She wanted to grab it, to pummel the fucking thing. But in her panic, she barely felt her chakra flaring. Nothing came at her in the moonlit room. Nothing flew toward her, eager to finish the job. The bed loomed above her, ominously. There was no way she was going to check over there. Sakura loosened the hold she had on her throat and the pressure of her fear released its grip on her throat. She could breathe again.

Was I dreaming?

No, it had been real. But perhaps more of an illusion.

I am so fucked up.

And she was tired of crying over her own broken mind. No tears came this time, but a painful reminder of her weakness had manifested in a hallucinogenic nightmare. She understood that now, taking a moment to rationalise it and see it for what it truly was.

An illusion.

Her brain and body were fucking with her. There had been no sound of her assailant hitting the bed as it missed her. Nothing followed her as she tore herself from the bed. No smell of blood or death or the fire that raged in her veins. Not even a flicker of chakra in the area. She closed her eyes and focused on trying to sense every person in the mansion, but as usual, it was just her, Gaara, and Kankuro sleeping.

Sleeping. She snorted.

Sakura took a deep breath, ignoring the perspiration on her skin as it trickled down her skin, stinging her. So that meant the rest of her tension was baseless. She took another breath, let it out slowly and pursed her lips.

Here goes nothing.

She crawled toward the bed, stilted breathing and pounding heart. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. Tentatively, she pulled herself up to look over the bed. Her imagination of a shadowy figure jumping out at her died at the sight before her.

Nothing.

Nothing. It had taken her foggy, addled brain a few seconds to catch up. It hadn’t been real. Just an illusion. She’d realised that but looking at the empty space on her bed made it real.

Is this because I’m crazy?

“They’re all dead.”

Sakura spun away and fell back to the floor, resting her head against the firm mattress and cursing herself for the fright. She glared at nothing for a moment before finally standing up shakily and pressing her back against the wall, next to the window and looked out over the silent room. At the emptiness.

Gods, she hated herself so much in that moment. She’d endured the torture and dehumanisation of working for Danzou. Survived six months of suicide missions. Assassination missions that were precarious from the get-go. Seduction missions that could’ve as easily ended with her bloodied, raped corpse. And all for what? So, she could end up as a ragged mess? A weak version of her former self? An embarrassment to kunoichi everywhere.

Her mirage appeared through the window, like it was a proper ghost and not just a twisted fragment of her imagination. It hovered in front of her, and she stared back at it. What was she supposed to say? They’d been through this dance so many times. She ignored it. She studied it. Sometimes she responded to it. But it always acted and looked the same.

“What do you want from me?”

It grinned. The cracked teeth and bubbles of blood popping as it worked its mouth as though it was unfamiliar with the movement. Its voice sounded mocking and mechanical at the same time. “What do you want from me?”

Like a record of a voice line. Or a parrot just repeating what she’d said.

Sakura reached out without thinking, her arm shaking slightly as she met thin air, running her finger down where the fake version of herself was supposed to be. There was nothing there. But she could still hear and see it. She could suddenly smell the rotted flesh as though it was a dead teammate standing in front of her, asking her why she was too weak to save them. She screwed up her nose. Was it because she’d tried to touch it?

“You’ll get them all killed,” the mirage said, cocking its head to the side. “You always do.”

“I know.”

If the mirage’s smile got any wider, it would rip its face apart. “And you want to.”

Sakura pulled her hand back. “No.”

It giggled. Her voice sounded alien on its lips. It spat blood with one last giggle, then said nothing more, just watching her. She didn’t know what else to say. Eventually, it must have gotten bored, choosing to turn away with a deep sigh.

It occurred to Sakura that she could get to the bottom of things – namely the cracks in her mind – by conversing with this thing more. Maybe. It was probably a stupid thing to do, to entertain the delusion, given the stench from her current attempt still lingered in the air. But she had been ignoring it for so long and nothing changed.

I need it to change.

“You…” Sakura swallowed heavily as the mirage turned its head unnaturally toward her. “What are you?”

Laughter filled the room. It actually sounded sane, for a few seconds.

“What are you?” It mocked.

“You’re not real,” Sakura insisted.

“I am not fake,” it said. It moved toward her, this time using its legs, taking deliberate steps. “I am truth.”

What did that even mean?

“We are truth. You are the one that’s false.”

“I’m–”

“I was there before,” it said, breathing its foul breath in her face, blowing her bangs with every syllable. “When the electric pokers got too hot. When the pointy instruments pierced your skin, your enemy’s skin.” Itgrinned wide. “When the unwelcomed touch became too much, and you cried for it to stop. When the blood of what you’d done to yourself gave you night terrors. When the pain of their very touch tore through you mercilessly. When their wandering fingers turned into knives.”

“No.”

“You saw me.”

Sakura shook her head.

“Yes. But you didn’t notice until the forest. When you were about to die in a tree stump. That’s how fucking crazy you were. Even before Danzo.”

She licked her lips, swallowing heavily, trying to calm down. This wasn’t supposed to be a list of babbling nonsense she didn’t understand. This was supposed to be answers to her questions. She wanted to know what this thing was, besides clearly being a product of her fucked up mind. There had to be some rhyme or reason behind why her mind conjured something so horrible. The memory of a long-lost entity in her mind did not explain this. This was something else. It had to be.

“How do I get rid of you?” she asked, hating how meek her voice sounded.

Hilarious. Ask a figment how a figment can become nothing. That was obviously going to work. She scoffed at herself.

It threw its head back to laugh. No, cackle. Sakura was not capable of the noise that erupted from its broken mouth. The sound was followed by a loud crash in the distance. Almost like an explosion. Reality settled in on her and she remembered where she was.

Suna.

A foreign village.

Screams.

Screams?

What the fuck? Sakura almost toppled over in shock. There was a loud commotion outside. Further than the edge of the barrier jutsu.

“They’re all dead.”

She ignored the mirage now, moving quickly to the bed, and ducked her head under, feeling around for her lifeline. She grasped it by the handle and withdrew the kunai sharply, not caring if she tore the underside of the bed. It had been used to try to kill her but now it was hers. Now it was for protection.

Maybe under the bed is a bad place to hide it, though.

It didn’t matter. Something was going on now and she would be damned if she was going to be helpless and unarmed when it reached her. If it reached her. She scrambled over to the window, kunai gripped fiercely in her hand. Conveniently, the same window the mirage had drifted through before this conversation began. Her eyes widened at the sight that awaited her through the glass panel.

Suna was on fire.

Gripping the window frame in her free hand, Sakura could see the damage from her high position. It had clearly happened so fast and violently that nobody had been ready for it. That wasn’t the sound of ninja clashing. It was the sound of people fleeing. Smoke rose from multiple points in the village, fire raging unnaturally fast. Too fast. Sakura closed her eyes for a moment, trying to blot out the pitiful sounds that tore through the night. But if people were screaming, they were alive. That was something.

“They’re not all dead,” Sakura told her mirage as it floated by.

“They will be,” it said, “just like you.” It gave one last maniacal grin before disappearing into the wall.

She didn’t want to unpack that. It had been a mistake to interact with it like it had any kind of answers.

Sakura turned her attention back to the chaos outside. It seemed so convenient. The timing. The damage. The direction all the nearby ninja were running towards. She wondered if this was connected to that would-be assassin, but that could just be her ego talking.

Sakura had momentarily forgotten that there was a Cold War going on between the nations. Most of them at least. Probably all. There was no way to tell since hidden villages were notorious for keeping everything so close to the vest. She remembered an attack on Konoha where the bombed building had been so broken that it had to be completely rebuilt from scratch. Officially, it had been an explosive jutsu, but Sakura had heard Danzo talk about an attempted assassination and some captured spy. She never doubted that the spy never saw the light of day again.

She had been out of the village at the time, as she mostly always was. Then there was the time she was fifteen feet from what was later officially explained away by a gargantuan summons that appeared and then magically disappeared in a matter of seconds. Like anyone had actually believed that one.

Even the civilians were aware of how much bullshit Danzo pumped into his propaganda machine. But the alternative was to flee the village and risk being found out to be a former Konoha citizen. There were rumours of non-ninja bandits that Danzo had let get out of hand that specifically targeted civilians.

No doubt the same fear and sense of self-preservation had taken over the other villages as well. The spread of such malignant behaviour among humans was easy. Throw a maniac into a position of power and things always got out of control, apparently. But as much as she wanted to blame Danzo for the entire thing, she knew this was just human nature. War. Power. Control.

The previous wars using the tailed beasts was proof of that.

I’m getting ahead of myself.

Sakura rested her shoulder against the window frame and gripped her arm painfully; the pins and needles from her nightmare were finally beginning to fade, but the imprint from the aftermath was still soft against her skin. But at least it wasn’t burning.

Movement in the Kazekage mansion. Familiar chakra flared like an alarm. Sakura held the kunai to her breast protectively, keeping her back to the door, and ignored the knocking a moment later. Hugging herself against the unexpected chill Sakura also ignored the familiar voice that called to her. They opened the door, and she imagined the surprise on their face that she was standing at the window instead of lying, oblivious and fast asleep, in her bed.

“Sakura?”

She ignored him.

Go away.

After a few moments they seemed to realise she wanted nothing to do with their intrusion and left.

It was so surreal. The air thickened with smoke, wafting into her room. It should bother her, but it didn’t. This, she knew how to deal with. Death, destruction, and chaos. It would have terrified her younger self to hear these thoughts, but Sakura was over caring about that. It almost made her smile.

There was something so comforting in this chaos.

Very quickly, she was the only person inside the Kazekage mansion. She could sense Gaara and Kankuro leave the mansion but didn’t bother to try tracking them. It didn’t matter. They were heading out to stem the destruction. To save lives. And she probably should’ve gone with them, shown that she was still the medic who cared about human lives. That she was worth the care they’d bestowed upon her. But she had no energy for that. No concern. Maybe it was the paralysing way she’d woken up or the exhaustion of directly interrogating her mirage, but she was just done. Emotionally and physically.

It never ends.

The walls of her prison did not close in on her when she noticed the Root shadow nearby. Her grip on the kunai tightened further, but he was not looking at her this time. Like her, he was just watching. They were both watching. Two strangers, outsiders, the same but oh so different.

Both of them just silently and apathetically watching Suna burn.

.:.

[hrokkall]

I was more meaning the regions outside them but within their walls, so gluttony and greed's placement work, gluttony could be a very weird form of the rot, a sort of turbo cancer. Would gabriel be an iterator here?

Got it! In that case, I'd imagine the layers/regions would be as follows:

PRELUDE/THE MOUTH OF HELL: Inside the iterators themselves. VI's inside is most reminiscent of the Prelude (with a LOT of environmental hazards with comparatively few enemies… not a lot of creatures WANT to venture through VI even if it's the shortest path forward). Late-game area, unlike Ultrakill’s prelude

LIMBO: A "safe zone" similar to the Outskirts. Has a few paintings related to the Ancients, though only Minos can sort of read them. Most common creatures are snails, noodleflies, and lanternflies, though there’s also a small pack of scavengers who wield explosive spears (they're not outwardly hostile though… they just set shit on fire). The most dangerous creature there is a large black lizard, though it stays underground most of the time.

LUST: A moderately dangerous region where nearly every creature within exhibits some form of bioluminescence. Some of the terrain is made up of fully-intact buildings, presumably the city that used to rest atop VI (prior to the ancients' evacuation). Requires a lot of climbing to get through; certain areas are high enough to see over the wall. Formerly much safer, but has since been overrun by centipedes (similar to the canon parasites + they have the electricity present in Lust). Home of Minos.

GLUTTONY: Large swaths of worm grass that consume near-anything they touch, with the only escape being clambering over the large skeletons they leave behind. Rotten and festering, certainly but not the Rot as neither VI nor VII have experimented with it. Rain Deer used to roam here, but they’ve all seemingly disappeared, leaving only bridges of their antlers behind. Coincidentally also contains a lot of fruit if you can platform over to it properly.

GREED: A barren wasteland left untouched by the harsh storms of Rain World, though equally dangerous electrical storms are hot enough to turn the sands to glass. The only solace against the blazing sun is in the caverns below, where treasures and hordes of yellow lizards alike can be found. Venturing above ground is an option, though—if not properly camouflaged—swooping vultures will find slugcats to be an easy target. Though not particularly useful in their home region, many grappling worms can be found and brought to other regions for easy traversal around their terrain. Home of Sisyphus.

WRATH: The most similar region to its canon counterpart, a watery expanse that can either be tediously platformed over or swam through (provided the slugcat is either amphibious or has enough bubble weed). Swimming presents plenty of hazards: leeches, salamanders, and a particularly fearsome albino leviathan. Climbing over is equally harrowing, as plenty of the platforms have become overrun with blue worm grass and bits of monster kelp looking for an easy meal. There is, however, one more option of traversal: if the slugcat’s reputation with scavengers is positive enough, the Ferryman will bring them across the region for only a small fee (or for free at a large reputation cost), effectively making Wrath skippable.

HERESY: Just put everything in here. You've got miros birds. You've got red lizards. You've got equal parts poles and pole plants. Just a goddamn nightmare to traverse through. If it's red and it's menacing, it's here. Located fairly close to VI, though taking shelter within its can is ill-advised.

VIOLENCE: This layer has barely been teased so I can't say a whole ton about it, but based on the mannequins alone I'd assume it would be majority ambush-hazards. White lizards, dropwigs, the likes. Probably littered with weapons but it's clear their wielders haven't passed through in a long time.

FRAUD and TREACHERY are in the same boat. We have no information on them and I'm not about to make something up. Use your imagination :]

As for Gabriel… that's a whole other post.

[askfallenroyalty]

"After a few months of post-pacifist, Chara feels they "have to true reset" after something bad happens to Flowey"

Ruh-roh; if it's not too spoilery, what happens to Flowey that causes Chara to feel the need to True Reset?

//probably won't be explored for AGES. cause the kids have so much on their plate they're not going to reminisce on why they got on this quest to SAVE Asriel.

And because the True Reset wasn't a year (cause really, that was too extreme in my writing) Frisk isn't like, THAT upset over losing that timeframe. I mean, don't get me wrong, it still sucks, but they were struggling with life post pacifist which is something I regret not committing to. (Frisk implies this way back in Chapter 1)

Frisk likes the adventure underground because its predictable. It's easier than the scary unknown, and Frisk missed their ghost buddy. (another change where because it was so long, Frisk forgot Chara which. I feel is a bit too mean/sad as a story beat. the two saved monsters together. they literally shared a SOUL! of course Frisk cares about Chara and wouldn't forget them!)

anyway i'm going to spoil this plot point. ignore this if you just want to read it in comic.

like in Chapter 4, 5 monsters go missing. (Sans and Papyrus aren't included so it's 5) Frisk is staying with Toriel and is ambassador. There's a lot of tension from that responsibility where they feel torn to just be Toriel's child and being responsible for the peace. Tensions become high but Asgore brushes it off, more humans start to visit monsterkind's home base area. Monsters start exploring the world, more and more monsters go missing and more conflicts build up. Frisk is Scared. The underground is predictable and safe once you know what happens. This is scary, and Frisk has to deal with humanity up front.

Meanwhile, Flowey is the caretaker of the Ruins, mainly gardening and overseeing Chara's grave. When humans start to see Mt.Ebott as a tourist spot, Flowey's home is invaded and defiled. This gets bad enough that a bunch of humans picnic at Chara's grave and get upset when Flowey tells them to scram.

This leads to the humans stomping on the grave (not that anyone knows that it's a grave, but I think on some level Flowey sees it as it. Canon Flowey only pieces that together in NM). Flowey freaks out, gets hit when trying to stop them. Chara's life force is within the flowers + their worry over Flowey causes a True Reset.

This time, while Frisk is upset at being ripped from their life, they understand Chara's dilemma more. Their worries as ambassador and their wish to escape makes this a bit of a relief. (in my thought process that this hard period would of been passed and Frisk would of been happy, but they didn't get the chance to cause of the True Reset)

Also, I want to show Chara and Frisk's bond is greater and more mutual in this version, so Frisk also missed their ghost pal. Cause Chara went through all of that with them. They understand Frisk more than anyone else. They literally shared a SOUL together. Of course Frisk wants their friend back, and right now they're upset. Of course Frisk would see their job as peace keeper and savior incomplete.

in the first writing of AFR I never explained why Chara wanted to True Reset. I was saving to reveal Flowey and Chara had a fight, or that Flowey was growing more depressed and it'd be foreshadowing for Asriel's present day depression but I already felt bad over how the backstory was handled and didn't wanna add more onto it.

Now, when Asriel is king Frisk can reflect on what the original timeline was like, and how stressful it was and Chara can be like "yeah and humans coming in only caused problems for us too. we couldn't protect ourselves." which shows the stakes of what could happen if Asriel doesn't handle things "correctly" this time. Which obvs builds up to the border closing, which while, yeeeessss monsters were unsafe and public understanding of them was limited and humans can suck, is STILL VERY BAD.

hoping this all works better to show character motivations and makes things feel more organic and less angsty x-x like the whole point was they were trying to help Flowey, the focus should be on the kindness of that. And yes, its important to respect Frisk's life too, but I feel it can be in character if pushed in this scenario to want to use the SAVE power alongside Chara. Which is why they can remember true resets, cause they're still a team

[lioa7]

Oh? :D why ARE they here? gimme the explanation *takes out notebook* I'm Listening =] (AND AGGGGHHH I LOVE SERAPHIM! Their story is so interesting and I honestly wanted to see what they were gonna do after they were in the coding area with Gaster)

OH YEAHHHHH

HELL YEAHHHH

EAAAAAbhdhjkdjbk/vdsjbk/cascbjkbjkdv s/

BE aware CUZ THIS might… MIGHT… be a little long…

You asked 4 this, so I’m free of charge. And I tend to lose track of theeee uhhh… words when there is a lot of text…. so I’m going to TRY to keep it understandable... :D

Ok so FIRST!

(these are in no order, just how uh I’m writing about them) THE OG (UNDERTALE) [kinda also no]

SO I’m not going to go on about how great the game that Toby fox made is, because we all know it is! And I feel a bit nervous to try and explain what we all already know, plus I’m not too good with words or meanings… and I’m not sure I’d be able to write just how much I love this silly game.

Uhh… BUT BUT!!!

But I also LOVE LOVE!!!! The stuff people do with the “after” game. What I mean by that is those silly comics or artwork of life on the surface, like I feel like it can be taken to so many places!!! Like character studies or just a mundane routine that they adopt when they move.

AS ASSSS!!!! Like what do the characters think of the new change of scenery? What jobs do they get? DO they struggle with the change? Are people rude to them? Do they still carry a burden??? DO THEY GET PAST THEIR TRAUMA???? Or does it become worse? Do they ever get a happy ending? Are we seeing their journey to getting used to all of it? WHAT THE ABSOLUTE MOTHER FUCKING FUCK IS FLOWEY GOING TO DO?????? SO MANY POSSIBILITIEEES!!!!!  One that I loved a few years back was Growth Spurt by potoo brigham (on Tumblr), where we follow Asriel trough what can be best described as an awkward phase. (tho I haven’t read it in a while)

Or other can be Unexpected guests by undertalethingems (on Tumblr), that APPART FROM THE MAIN STORYLINE BEING THAT THE GASTER BLASTERS NOW GOT A FULL BLOWN BODY it also explores some of the topics I put at the beginning… (mind you, I haven’t read it in a long time so I’m sorry)  (I realized I’m kinda bad at keeping up with comics I like… L)

And I also talked about the art, in general Undertale fanart is just SO beautiful to look at, and that (unsurprisingly) also happens when people draw the monster in the surface, like I dunno… Toriel and Frisk taking a train home when the sun is setting and that stuff…

In general, I just love the ideas it can bring to the table, and how artists can like grab a piece of cannon (or fanon I dunno) and mold it to a story they want to tell with character that they love.

OK NEXT 

The edge (Underfell) 

Kinda short (doesn’t mean I don’t like it, it’s just more simple!)

I loved Underfell when I first came into contact with the fandom, it became my fave au of ALL time (probably because it was… well…edgy lol), and I loved pretty much everything it had to do with the au, if you had a thumbnail on Youtube with Underfell little me would have clicked that mf within the millisecond.

But of course, it was all mostly fanon, as I don’t really think in the 2016 or 2017 canon was too popular?

AT least not on Youtube… 

little story.

I had a phase going on when I was… I dunno, 15? 16 maybe? That I thought everything Undertale related was cringe (As you can see that was just a phase), and I was repelled by it, not sure why but it was what it was.

But many months after (I don’t really remember the specifics) I came back to the fandom, because the 4 u page just kept showing me Undertale and I decided to watch a few videos for the sake of nostalgia… then few months later I created my personal tumblr to see sOME of the art… then I followed a few people… then twitter… and before I knew it I had already jumped into the UNDERTALE bandwagon again.

But one of the AUs that made me stay for sure was Underfell (shocking I know), because I had found Fella/Vic’s (twitter and tumblr) posts and drawings, and I loved all of it. The canon is just so fun to find out about, I love to just scroll down and just read the comics or the pictures.

I really love the characters, just the little differences with the OG cast makes them super COOL.

VERY COOL!!!

I really love sans! He’s actually very very ummm…. He’s unflusterable.

Like, how many pf you knew that Fell sans does own a spike collar, but it’s FOR the pet rock, and how when papyrus found it assumes it was sans’ and was confused but ready to support sans in whatever weird shit he was into.

Like I LOVE THAT… Or or or how papyrus HATES Asgore with all his might, but stands him BECUASE of Undyne.

I gained a full appreciation for canon stuff since then. (fanon is ok!)

Plus, the fact that the au even exist is because someone asked Vic to draw “evil Toriel” just makes it better.

(PLUS PLUS have you seen the designs????? oR THE ALT OUTFITS!! THE ART!!??! They are AH! Just… just… cheff’s kiss) THIRDah

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK (Horrortale + a little story)

Funny thing, I’m not a fan of any type of horror, ironic yeah? 

But surprisingly enough, I enjoy Horrortale enough that I can just go about it with ALMOST no problems. The art is beautifully horrifying in the best ways, Sour Apple studious’ art style does everything right at the time of conveying just how horrifying Aliza’s journey is, like I remember that one animation they posted like a few years back where It’s just an animated screenshot of one of the pages from the comic. BUT MAN did I get scared. In general I think Horrortale conveys everything so well, from the sheer horror that the general story and topics bring, or maybe even the corruption of our favorite characters.

Like we have The Queen Undyne, she went from the hero of the story to a dictator who got corrupted because of gigantic amounts of pressure. Like the KING died, the Queen is nowhere to be seen, the human massacred a lot of monsters (the same human that Undyne considered a friend even), and all hope that the 6 human souls brought is gone, and to make matter worse the CORE has stopped working.

It’s a terrifying experience to go through, I don’t think I would have been able to handle that trauma. And the worst thing is, that Undyne being able to live through that trauma is what made her the person that she became in the present Horrortale. 

Like you would NEVER see Undyne threaten to kill someone for a candy, of course it’s limited food down in the underground, but the Undertale Undyne would have done her best to help others.

Or Papyrus, who is pretty much the only monster who still holds a semblance of a moral, but that doesn’t mean he’s naïve in the context of Horrortale. Papyrus was tricked (in a way) to eat humans, for bad and good intentions. And that messes someone up, because I don’t think he doesn’t know. 

And It’s not just that, every character that we see is just twisted in horrible ways that the situation has pushed them trough.

Horrortale takes a few years after Undertale, Aliza comes like 7 years after (8 now?) the player came and left everything to rot, and consider that monsters have been feeding of the little flesh that they can get, even the snow has become uneatable. Children are dying, magic is just not what it used to be (for fucks sake Grillby is the BEST fucking example of the undergrounds’ situation).

Now you might wonder that even after all that, why do I like Horrortale so much?… When I was a little lad (if I wanted berries and cream, mummy made me do the little lad dance), I was a FNAF fan, and one day I was watching “FNAF FUNNY AND CUTE” video (I distinctly remember one where the animatronics where in a sort of band that was playing a silly tune and the other was that the animatronics jumping into a box, and the foxy one couldn’t get through the box because it was metal) and I was enjoying myself.

Then in a moment of distraction Youtube auto played into another video, not FNAF tho, Undertale. And I DISTICTLY remember it (my memory is very weird, I don’t remember almost nothing but THAT I almost have a photographic memory of), it was a fan made video of the AU Horrortale. It was a fan’s interpretation of what could have happened to sans’ head, how did the situation play. And I believe it was before Sour apple studios released the “past arc” and we knew how exactly did Undyne break sans’ head.

I have researched a bit and it seems it’s called “Horrortale the law” I don’t remember the exact video, but I’m pretty sure it was a dub in my language… I think it was like 7 years ago?

Shortly after, I got into the fandom.

In any case, I was left pretty confused, as I didn’t know who the characters where or anything, but it’s left a bit mark on me. And that’s why my appreciation to Horrortale will always remain strong… even if I can’t really stand horror stories…

Next

Angst, angst for everyone (Gztale) [the point where I can’t put my feelings into words]

Gztale, ah yes, little me’s roman empire. I kid you not, I CONSTANTLY thought of Gztale, I was OBSESSED with it. And sometimes I still do.

Gztale, tarts with our favorite non-cannon buddy, GASTAH. With our favorite non- cannon theory, DADSTAH.  He takes some Determination from the already fallen human souls (I believe they were two at the beginning) and make some pills. And like ANY GOOD SCIENTIST he tests them on his kin. He’s like “take these son, they’ll make you STRONK, like vitamin… but with human essence in them… BUT THAT JUST MEANS IT’LL BE STRONGER!!!

NO DON’T CRY!!!  TO SHOW YOU THEY WORK!!!

I YOUR FATHER, A GROWN ASS MAN, WILL FIGHT YOU (my who knows how old son… maybe 12?) TO SHOW YOU THEY REALLY WORK AND THAT I’M NOT BEING ABUSIVE!!!!”

Fatherly love y’know?

The comic mAINLY focuses on Sans going through, y’know… the usual stuff you feel after your dad experimented on you and physically abused you to see if his experiment worked.

PLUS!!! (I don’t think I saw this anywhere, so take it with a pinch of salt) I believe Gaster also gave pap some of those pills too? AND PAPYRUS WENT TROUGH AN ACCIDENT AND EVERYTHING JUST…. BWAAAAAA!!!!!!!

AND EVERYTHING went TO THE DEEPEST SHIT.

CUZ PAP’S IS ALREADY COOL AS FUCK, GIVE HIM DT!! AND HE’S COOLER!!!

And If you ARE FAMILIAR with Gztale, or at least saw some pics, you know that Papyrus is…kind of an antagonistic force!!!  WHYYY?? People ask in the back. WELL You go and find the comic NOW, It’s very VERY COOL. 

Ok so now, I will admit, I never got to finish the comic for reasons I forgot, but I’m sure one could have been that the guy who was dubbing the chapters stopped for who know what and the second could be because my brain was SRTUGGLING to grasp the plot accordingly.

But of course, I re-read the entire thing just now to do this because my 12 to 13-year-old self’s’ mind is not the best example of a sharp memory, and I tell you I would have loved it SO MUCH.

LIKE… SO MUCH!!! In any case I always loved the…. uhm… essence? I couldn’t really say, just every time I see Gztale I just… :D, y’know?

And I really REALLY wish I could explain why, like I did with the others, but it’s such a raw emotion that I can’t possibly put it into words… Or maybe better? I dunno.

In any case, the creator golzybladedee (tiktok, twitter and Instagram) deleted the comic because they created Gztale in a not to happy time of their life and it brought them distress… BUT NOW if you go to twitter you’ll see that golzyblade has handed over the “ownership” of the AU to Nixensibrat (twitter), so we MIGHT see some uhhh Gztale in the future… 

YEA!!!

YEHI!!!! WOOO

YIPEEE

KILLER QUEEN!!! (killer! Sans)  So this one’s a little obvious, cuz we all love Killer sans. HE’S SUCH a VERSITILE CHARACTER, like I’ve seen comics back to back, where in one killer is a little shit who’s going to do the thing he was SPECIFICALLY told NOT to do, and the other is JUST PAIN, PAIN COATED IN LAYERS OF PAIN.

And I love him for it.  Like, he has so much potential in every spectrum!!!! I personally enjoy when people make him sympathetic. Like yes, he kills people, but not necessarily because he wants to kill people. Does he have a bloodthirst? Yes. Is he interested in giving into the bloodthirst? Not necessarily! like, Killer sans usually kills because Nightmare orders him to do so, if Nightmare hadn’t found him killer would probably stay in his AU rotting away. PLUS, if Dream had been the one to find Killer first, Killer would be as loyal to him as he is with Nightmare!

Killer is so out of it, that the moment a gooey version of him appeared and was like “Be my servant, the pay will be torture” he was like “sir I will now be by your side for no reason at all”. Witch also gives him a bit of (forgot the word I was thinking of, it’s like… SAD). Like ALL OF HIM could be better, HE COULD HAVE A BETTER OUTCOME!!! LIKE HE COULD HAVE ALREADY CAME BACK TO HIS AU????

Like it’s crazy to think about what happened to him, if it weren’t for Nightmare he would probably be in a better state now, probably not being in stage 0 (just sans) But like, better mentally at least. Like Core could have taken him to the OT, and he would have a better time there than alone rotting somewhere in an empty space, where his only company are the usual hallucinations and the NOT so usual people. also, his AU is still there, like it’s a sans-less AU, because once le left the world was left without its greatest source of DT, so naturally the next biggest DT person would have been Flowey. I believe that SOMEHERE in rahafwabas (tumblr) there is something explaining that.  And that Flowey reset the world and that everything’s normal again, except Papyrus is looking for his missing brother.

In general Killer (with everything, including stages and all) IS SUPER INTRESTING. Like I could stay here writing how much I love each stage and all BUT… But…

I’m struggliN as it is with 11 faves. 

…

…

Ok maybe a bit… In any case we all know the second stage, the “I’m sponsored by target” stage, it’s the most common, mainly because Nightmare keeps him in that stage as it is the most manageable while also being the most servant.

Like we’ve seen Nightmare change Killer from stage 1 (the target in heart form) to stage two, BeCAUSE that is the one he likes the most. Even then, stage two isn’t entirely serviceable (is that the word??? Like uh… he takes orders?), sometimes we can see that stage 2 has a little white pupil, that is a sign of “the sans we know”. Stage 1 Is (as I said) the target in shape of a heart (Dunno how to explain better),that is the most chill stage, like is ALMOST sans, but it’s also the more prone to hallucinating stuff. Stage 3 is KILLER GO APE SHIT (which is still great potential for angst, like Killer doesn’t remember when he goes ape shit, and even then, he is pretty tired after that and immediately goes back to two. And he can only tell he went ape shit because of the surroundings, it’s like he wakes up, sees mess and is like “aw shit”) Stage 4 we’ve never seen, but it’s probably APE SHIT multiplied by (imagine funny number). And I love them for that… BEFORE I pass onto the next(s) one(s)… A little smth smth… that liquid is his eye melting. Like you know the amalgamates right? Kinda like that.

NEZT

I messed up my painting (Error! Sans………… and Ink! Sans) [we talk a little about ships… JUST… a wee bit] Ok I’m putting these together… it will make sense in a bit… OK SO WHO ELSE SEARCHED FOR INK OR ERROR SANS AND GOT ERRORINK??? OR… LITTERALY ANY AU AND GOT (you guessed it) ERRORINK???? Well, it MIGHT not be a universal experience, but it was for me I suppose. SO for the longest time, I just assumed Error and Ink were just… Errorink (wow I deserve a noble price for that AWESOME WRITING).

In any case… Uh I never really cared for that ship, I mean people can do pretty cool stuff. But still, it was JUST there. But if you remember from the Underfell thingy, I found my appreciation for cannon stories. And this WORKS SO WELL WITH THESE TWO ESPECIFICALLY!!! Like I FUCKING WATCHED A 3 HOUR LONG  VIDEO ON GENO’S AND ERROR’S uhm.. lives? Deaths? UHHH JUST PASTS???!!! And I love it so much, you should check it out… If… if you know spaniSH. 

Español y esas cosas, con la ñ y todo eso.

[Todo detras de Error Sans y Geno Sans (+teoria) by Mat002] Now we complicate ourselves a bit

we now talk about Error: Error sans, much like Killer, Is SUCH a complex character. And he’s kinda doing it my accident??? As CrayonQueen (twitter and Tumblr) has said, Error is a mess, he’s a big man baby! As his name suggests he’s an error (wow), and everyone who has had an error on their computer will know that those fuckers are everything but easy. AAAND that’s what you need to understand Error, he’s unpredictable. In any given situation he’ll act completely different depending on… who knows what??? People usually portray him as this grumpy old man, which it’s not bad! But he’s more of a Grumpy baby, who is mad because you peeled his banana and HE WANTED IT WITH THE SKIN!!!  AND IT WAS THE LAST FUCKING BANANA!!!!

SO NOW HIS DAY IS RUINED!!!! AND YOU DID THIS BECAUSE YOU HATE HIMMMM!!!! AAAAAGHAHGSCAHJCDGJVVDJVDB<VDOIP!!!!!!!!! Y’know?

And I love him for that. Like he’s a cutesy guy sometimes, and sometimes he’s an ass. …manbaby.

Plus, the whole Geno backstory just makes Error’s more (AGAIN THE WORD I FORGOR!!!! But it’s kinda like miserable??? Like LIKE um YOU GET ME???). Because CQ told us that Aftertale had 3 possible endings, Miserable, Bittersweet, Good. We can assume that the one we got in Aftertale was the happy one… 

So that makes Error the miserable one, the worst ending.

And you know it’s just sad… Error is just the result of someone’s worst ending.

DW tho! Some Geno out there still got their happy ending!

And of course we also have Fatal! Error who IS A WHOLE ‘NOTHER THING!!!!

You from the future messed with a you from the past and made an even worse you, kind of scenario.

Now INK:

Ink is a little straight forward, but also no.

Like Ink is all about Creating, but not necessarily in parallel to Error, while also sorta yes. Ink’s backstory goes like this.

He’s from an AU that was never finished, the creator gave up on it. The only one who got any semblance of emotions was (ironically) Ink sans, but of course, he couldn’t bear to be alone. So he erased himself, it provided a HUGE problem for him, as he was emotionless, he had nothing to live for. But the creations, the creators, all of that was what gave him meaning.  And this rings incredibly close to me…

I have it since I was probably 14 or so.

I have an AU… not the silly post-it sans OC with a cool bro OC. I have an AU that was based of of a LOT of stuff in you might see in this long ass post, it started as a sans solo AU (because of course it was), and It evolved with me as I also grew up.

I’ve been working on and off of it for years.

And you might not see it honestly, because I feel so wrong about it, like the story is just bits and pieces I saw in bed just before sleeping. I barely tied those together.  And the designs are… WELL… designing clothes is pretty hard.

And I almost gave up on it…

But I really want to continue, I want to y’know…? And um… Ink’s story kind of put that into perspective for me… …

ANYWAYS!  UM…  it got gloomy… IN ANY CASE! Ink’s story hits very close to home for me, as I explained a few moments before.  But also, I just feel it makes sense for a character like him, I mean… He LIVES for the creations, and not only because he “protects them” and more like… All we (as creators) do is what keeps him alive. Like Ink’s immortal right? Well kinda, he’s almost immortal. The moment the creations stop the paints that give him a perspective into life will also vanish. He might not die entirely, but he’ll just be an empty shell, alone in a white space. So It kinda rings hard for me that he’s literally feeding from our stuff, he’s here because of u and me. And well… APART from that he’s also just an interesting character. Ink is a shell that he himself fills with temporary feelings, this kinda makes him a bit dense in some situations and might act a little out of place. BUT he doesn’t mean wrong!!! I have seen a lot of like “evil” ink, and I feel that the idea can be interesting, but also, I think that a lot of people read “NEUTRAL ink” and assume that must mean he’s just a little mean? 

Maybe unintentionally so, usually it’s portrayed as a thing that’s out of his control but that he’s also not bothered by it and does nothing to change. And I don’t really think he would act like that? Ink is a little forgetful, but he does write stuff to try and remember! Ink struggles to understand situations, but he is trying (I think)!

He likes to play pranks but I don’t think he intends them to be mean! And he’s just a cool character… Plus he’s as much of a fan of AU’s as we are. (in a way, kinda)

And all that good stuff.

And I feel like comyet (tumblr) really did make a memorable silly.

… thanks for making him… 

…

UMMM NEXT IS  AAAAA mirror (Anx! sans) [be aware… this gets a BIT personal]

So this one’s not too much like the others, I mean… I dunno… you get me.

SO this one might be shorter, cuz it goes into me a bit?

Ok…

So in 2022 (I THINK), I was ready for life! Until I wasn’t. so… y’know I went to get help!

I have severe social anxiety.

Yeih.

And it’s stopped me from doing a lot of stuff…

And it wasn’t too peppy. Until I found THIS GUY!!!! I was scrolling through Tumblr and I found hheisa’s account here, and would you look at that… they have a Sans (my personal favorite thing [kinda] since I was a child) with what I have! (kinda, almost!) So he helped me a lot! In a way, this might be cheesy, but I felt pretty alone but… then he’s there and I felt that maybe I wasn’t. and you know, that’s about it.

Hheisa hasn’t posted much of him, but I still love whenever he pops out in my FYP.

Um that’s it.

OH and because of a comic I found out that sucking on ice is pretty good for uh, not good times.

Hheisa I hope you never see this, cuz it’s embarrassing as FUCK.  But thank you… your silly helped me get through some stuff.

…. AND NOW 

A BIT OF A PROBLEM (bitty au) [self-indulgence] So if you’ve been a long time in the fandom you’ve probably seen at least ONE SOMETHING with bitties!!! It is very self-indulgent too, but it doesn’t need to be. Like m pretty sure some of you know Poetax right?

They have a string of comics about UT, UF and US sans’ and papyrus’ with their respective bitties, and as weird as it is to have a miniature version of yourself on your shoulder, they make it work yaknow??? Fucken-Crybaby left the Au for reasons I’m unaware of, but left it open for people to still use the bitties.

ok so! In any case! Bitty bones AU (or I don’t know the official name) is an AU where your favorite characters are miniature versions of themselves!

And these fuckers are tiny! Like stupid tiny. Like you do a “call me” sign and try to make it as big as you can, and that’s about as big as bitties get. this one!

But of course this isn’t a rule, you can make bitties as smol or as big as you want.

And you can adopt them!

With such an interesting prompt the AU got very popular, because you could: Give your favorite AU a mini version of whoever you wanted, you could be self-indulgent and draw yourself (or an OC) with a bitty! It was very cool! Y’know??? It was your tiny silly! There are uh, like BASE bitties, like for example a Sansy bitty is always hungry, seepy, is funny, and lazy. Or like a Fell who is like an angry cat. He will fucking destroy your stuff, is going to bite, is prone to fighting other bitties and stuff!

And there’s also Papyrus bitties and Grilbitties (love that name)!

And there was even a chart of how some bitties reacted to others! But you were allowed to make your own! Let’s say you had an OC of who knows what, and if you wanted to make it a bitty to just play with the idea, you can! Like if you wanted a Toriel bitty  you could make yours! And that’s about it! I hold this AU very dearly, is very cute and even if bitties aren’t as popular as they once were, I still think they are neat.

And the stuff you could do with them! You can just do a homey story with bitties, just hanging out. Very cute story where you (or whoever you want) adopts a bitty and you now have to learn to live together with antics and all that good stuff! Or you can try and make all the stuff of: HOW MORALLY OK IS IT TO HAVE THAT THING??? ARE THEY OK BEING SMOL? HOW ARE THEY MADEE????

And if you are into bitties like I am you’ve probably seen some of these!

Even some mixed I believe?

Ok uhhh next!!!

OH HELL YES!!! I LOVE TOUCANS!!! (Seraphim! Sans)  (GOF FUCKING DAMNIT WE’RE ALMOST AMOST DONE!!!)

Ok so Seraphim sans comes from this cool comic known as “the thought”.

It comes from sans’ thought. “What if one day, the human doesn’t reset? What is one day we just cease to exist?”  So he acts, he attacks the human when they leave the ruins.

He takes the human’s soul, and takes it to Asgore. So they’re going to break the barrier to just have an ending.  But Asgore, doesn’t really want to, he wants to wait, as he has killed so many humans… KIDS for that matter. And he’s afraid, humans were always stronger than monsters, and there are millions of more humans then monsters. But sans is like “Dude, I didn’t just break a promise to just sit around” so he makes a not so thought out decision. He’s going to do it himself.

And of course he turns into… TOUCAN.

And shenanigans happen…

I highly recommend looking for the comic made by tratserenoyreve (on tumblr).  Or look for the comic dub by Starbot Dubs (yes, they are the ones from CPAU too).

I ABSOLUTELY love HOW the author brings this story. Like come ONNNNN!!!!!

Ok so, one of my favorite things is how the characters are portrayed! Like the human souls, they are faceless here, nameless, but they still have that little bit of personality and I love that even when they are literally faceless, they aren’t completely gone! And even so, the story has a bit of a bittersweet ending. BUT FIRST WE TALK ABOUT THE STORY! So after sans does the stupid, everyone’s just… confused and hurt on what to do? The human souls are permanently attached to sans, who didn’t really stop to think about the AFTER. And they want to extract the souls from him. But now here comes the interesting part, they are all there, like Sans can communicate with ALL 8 kids, and he’s not necessarily sure of how to feel? He’d just expected to have unlimited power and that’s it, but the human souls are here to stay. So, papyrus has to take sans home, the King, Undyne, Papyrus and the former Queen decide to keep the broken barrier a secret. Until they can safely get the human souls back, of course. So that means that they’ll have to wait until Alphys has messed with the DT extractor as it wasn’t BUILT for 7 human souls. The days go by, and Alphys has finished it.

Sans gets into the lab and kinda opens up about what he knows to Alphys, why he acted so rushed? Why of everything. And it seems it’s a good start to a new beginning, but things aren’t to well. The DT extractor begins to hurt Sans’ soul, and the kids are freaking out, so Integrity tries to help by teleporting. That of course leads to them getting lost in between the files, the space between. And they find the code to the game, and get exited! That means they can mess with it and make everyone live; they can make Frisk… well Frisk! Instead of a shell we use to play. But they encounter… (drum roll)  OUR FAVORITE SILLY!!!  GASTER!!!!! And of course, he tell them that this is bigger than they could ever imagine, and the fact that they stopped “it’s” game could mean the erasure of the world.

(As in, imagine you are playing Undertale, sans kills you JUST before the ruins and your game is a permanent GAME OVER)

SO shit goes down.

I’m not going to explain the WHOLE thing cuz you HAVE TO read it!

And then Sans and the kids are left with a choice, Reset or continue. Reset means everything goes back to the loop, continuing means the possible end to their world. And It ends in a tie 4 to 4. And it’s all left to Frisk to decide.

They choose both, they ask if they can copy the game and hide it somewhere where the OG copy is the one that’ll continue in the endless loop, the one that is hiding is just them continuing to live.

AND I AAAAARGGGGGGGG!!!jvdhkbjvdsbhdvsj’vds

I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!

I re-watched the comic dub to refresh my memory a bit, and to understand the parts that I didn’t when I was younger (because English bad).

And I cannot express HOW much I loved all of it! It’s a great story with great moments.

And I REALLY REALLY recommend it!

Just love the use of how they manage to at least save ONE COPY of themselves. Like somewhere there’s the other copy going through the loop again and again and again.

And I just can’t begin to explain the feeling that that gives me! Love it with all my heart. Now  WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK!!!! THIS IS EVEN WORSE?!?!?! (Underworld) 

Simple enough.  Not fan of horror, but I found underworld’s designs and fell INLOVE with them.  Not much to say, just that it has the potential of a hundred suns and that is it. LIKE LOOK IT UP AND YOU’LL SEE??? 

Personal favorite is Undyne and Toriel.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok so here’s the kicker, I said they were 11, right?

But I’ve put Error and Ink together… so they count as one, right?  Because I forgot one.  (I actually forgor two but let me have my moment)  SURPRISE (YOU GUESS BEFORE I SAY THE NAME!)  So I’m pretty sure this AU isn’t known as much, as the others.

Like I’m sure there ARE people who like it.

But it’s died down a HOLE lot, the fandom grew and from the AU’s that have managed to survive it, I feel this one’s been left behind. I mean there’s still fanart, but like it’s not popping up like others. The aesthetics are MY ABSOLUTE favorite, because there’s not too much of a change in story.  I mean there IS, and it’s pretty cool. But what sells me is the aesthetics, just the whole vibe!!! And I’m sure that if you like dark fairy vibes, you’ll like this one.

Ya ready???

YA READYYYY?????? I don’t think you are ready!!!!

AAAAAHHHHHH

It’s Masktale.

Did you guess it?

(end of my thing)  …

…

…

…

And there’s also Quantumtale because they are cute kids with stupidly strong powers, and Gaster is a cute guy and I love it.

But I haven't researched a ton of the last two sorry.

but im tired sO

(We’re officially done.)

and uh thanks for asking :,)

[msfbgraves]

Daniel would love to have the normal option of divorce, yes. He's been trying to get Terry to leave him, something that Amanda picked up on within a few days.

Let’s say Daniel was allowed that normal option. Would he be truly happy and relieved for the rest of his life that he’ll never be hurt by this monster again, and he can freely move on to find a true love who will treat him right? Or, after some time passes, would he regret the choice he made in those difficult days and miss Terry, and love him and want him still? Of course, the pups would be sad divided like this between their parents, and Terry would never get over Daniel ever even if he accepted the divorce.

It's not so much whether he loves Terry, still, Nonnie, but whether he can bear living with his own rapist. That's an inhuman thing to ask of anyone. No one should have to do that! No one! No one should have to marry lest their siblings get killed, and no one should have to face the choice to either stay married to your rapist or deprive your five very young children of their father. It's an insanely fraught, inhuman situation to be in. Of course he wants to be away from his rapist while leaving his children with access to their father. It's a normal thing to want! However much you love someone, some things should be allowed to be violations you don't come back from in a relationship. Point blank. We know from canon that Daniel can move on with his life, to an extent. Maybe he'd have to compartmentalise, but he'd keep going. Repressing like a pro, acting out in other ways. But he'd forge on, that's the difference between them. Would his love for Terry burn inside of him? Yes! But this is a dealbreaker or would be - it's the tragedy of Daniel's life that he is a kindhearted, unambitious, straightforward boy who is constantly put into insane situations. He's always like: "I'm just some guy, why am I fighting a death match? Other people aren't fighting death matches?" Or here: "Why was I sold to a mob boss? My classmates live with a deputy mayor in Conneticut somewhere and get much too into bake sales for the local private school. I'd like that! I'd rule a bake sale! I want to argue about better access to farmers' markets, and here I am keeping my knife skills up to scratch. I mean I enjoy that, but I shouldn't have to! I'm just some guy!" Indeed, no bake sales for caro Daniele, or at least not ones that couldn't potentially end in a shootout or an attempt to murder his Alpha. There's a reason he does all the cooking at home, per Dio! And it's not only because he's the only one on his block that can make gnocchi! It's ridiculous, it's extreme and he doesn't want it, these extreme choices. It would be such a blessed relief to be normally divorced over his mate cheating on him, but no, everything is life or death for him. Like, he knows far more about car bombs than he thinks could possibly be healthy. He'd love to clinically sever ties in court and maybe get a little too drunk thinking about his ex, but no, it's always murder or impossible choices for him. Che palle!!!!

[sofiadragon]

Man, being centrist on the Civil War is fun. All the stuff you point out from the rabid pro-Stark end is well put, but can we stop saying Stark imprisoned Wanda in the beginning of the movie? It's not actually in the movie. It's only arguably in cut content, with a comment about her Visa in jeopardy, which tracks for immigration enforcement around the greater NYC area. I live here, I know the flavor of this corrupt mess... but that isn't in the movie either.

There is plenty in the movie that is a mess, like your other good points, but not that one.

Even Vision says it is a request for safety. Her safety? The safety of some protester at the gates who asks rude questions and makes her very upset? He doesn't specify, but I doubt he is worried that she'll attack someone unprovoked. He might be worried she would be justifiably provoked. I know you want it to be that she's being kept at home for the public's safety, but Natasha has the right end of it - keep a hand on the wheel, make amendments, don't break laws while the situation is still in a place where advocating for yourself and going through an investigation and trial is viable. BLM like the Black Panthers before them riot because they are well past the point that they can work within the system. Even a completely innocent person gets questioned if they accidentally become involved in a death. Cap acts like we passed this point the second Ross shows him the draft, but... have we really?

The movie kneecaps this stance by having Stark say he wants amendments, so even he thinks the current draft needs work and the pro-Accords side is still open to talk. Amendments can be made at the upcoming summit, we just need a good speech explaining why and what kind of oversight the Avengers should have now that SHIELD imploded. Reach a compromise between no consequences for anything and guilty until proven innocent. There is a patch of middle ground big enough to fit an entire country inside. Ross isn't willing to budge, fair enough, but whoever else Tony is talking with is. Even if all the stuff in the wiki is what is in the current draft, it isn't passed yet. It is not law. That's what is supposedly going to happen at the summit that gets bombed later in the movie. The dialog around that is a messy chopped up re-edited voiceover- added- in- post mess, with Cap's reactions out of character for the situation and Stark's eatablished hatred of Ross oddly absent.

Stark bulldozed the man's favorite diner out of hatred. They are not buddies.

Vision reacted to Clint so strongly because he is setting off bombs and attacking Vision from the moment he arrives. He doesn't act that way because he is a jailer, he is defending Wanda from the highly confusing situation of a friend attacking thier home. She was being asked nicely to stay in the compound. I don't know who told Clint she was a prisoner, but the civil rights violations in the Accords only exist on the wiki [sadly, because they should be in the movie. They over-corrected when they edited it out completely to avoid making Stark into a fascist monster.] According to the movie itself she was free to go, there is just an investigation going on so maybe she is supposed to stay in the country.

Nobody explains this in the movie at all, not with any substance, so both pro and anti Tony people have an equal amount of evidence to explain why she was asked to stay at home.

But no matter why, even when asked directly Vision is clear that she is not being forced to stay. It is only a request, and he is hostile to Clint because Clint knocked on the door with C4. Once again characters are acting oddly because these scenes where clearly filmed with a more extreme draft of the script that got edited later, but this is what we got as canon.

Which... rule of law is nice, isn't it? We shouldn't just take people at their word if they are standing over a dead body. We don't let soldiers and cops do whatever they want without discipline [at least on paper we don't.] The USA has a police culture and training issue that is killing people. Sure, but no oversight at all, being 100% above the law with no investigation after the fact when things go wrong, is Cap's silly stance in this film. The movie just... does not do the comic book storyline any kind of justice. Tony wants all enhanced people to be treated as criminals by default and lose all civil rights, Cap wants to be a law unto himself.

And fair enough: Cap wouldn't abuse that power. [Insert bald eagle cry and an overlay of the American flag.] He's got that moral compass locked in. Steve Rogers is an inherently good man. Should he have told Stark what Arnim Zola showed him and Nat about the Stark's deaths being a Hydra hit and not a car accident? Yeah, even if he didn't know it was Bucky he knew it was Hydra, but even that was motivated by not wanting to hurt Tony by presenting him with an opened ended and [if the killer wasn't Bucky and Zemo didn't produce magical 1980's birdwatching cam footage of the hit] probably unsolvable mystery. In any other case Tony would never know if the killer was still out there, and Tony absolutely did not need that kind of stress on top of his existing PTSD. The only case where Cap made the wrong choice is if it was a Winter Soldier hit, and it was, but he didn’t know that for sure.

We can argue over if any lesser evidence than watching the magic video would make Steve "sure enough" to tell Tony that the most precious person in Steve's world killed Howard and Maria Stark, but I don't think it would be productive. Cap made the wrong choice for good reasons, proving that even he would benefit from having some accountability to the public. Even he is a powerful person with an agenda, which is exactly who he says shouldn't have unilateral control over the Avengers.

The same can not be said for all [most?] of the Avengers, and this is meant to apply to people like Jessica Jones who don't have him as a direct leader calling the shots, should she ever cross an international border. It is supposed to be a framework for all enhanced people, because the law needs to account for their existence the same way it had to change when people started doing superhuman things like traveling at 65mph speeds on roads or when our culture was changed by carrying distracting little computers with video cameras everywhere. Like it needs to with deep fakes and AI ripping off artists.

Just what is it that causes people (both in and out of universe) to blame heroes for the actions of the villains? (E.g. Wanda getting blamed for the deaths Rumlow caused in Lagos when he decided he wouldn't let Captain America take him alive; Quill being blamed for the Snap because he lashed out when he realized his girlfriend had just been murdered by the overpowered grapefruit in front of him; the blame Stephen gets for Titan, etc.)

Victim blaming. That's all it is, I honestly can't see it being anything else.

We saw a bit of this with the Accords when Ross had the audacity to blame the team for the NYC invasion, the helicarriers, Sokovia, the deaths in Lagos... it's far easier to blame the heroes than admit that 1) Shield was using the cube to make weapons and the Council almost blew up NYC, 2) Hydra had infiltrated Shield and part of the government and way too many Shield agents and officials agreed with Hydra's morals enough to let them in, 3) Stark and Banner being idiots, 4) an ex-Hydra agent who was walking free despite his crimes blowing up a building.

Out of those 4, in 3 either Shield or the government or both are directly to blame.... but the discussion is steered towards the heroes instead. There's no way that's a coincidence.

If we blame the heroes the status quo is not challenged. They come up with that godawful line of "The hero let the villain do x" and so the conversation is about their actions instead of why the villain did what they did or what brought them there, etc.

But it always depends on who the villain is. You never see anyone blame the Avengers for the NYC invasion, that's always on Loki - some people even refuse to acknowledge the Mind Stone's influence on him. When it's Wanda doing something she shouldn't be doing, the context of her actions doesn't matter, she's no more than an evil witch. What Stephen did in Titan wasn't questioned until Waldron came up and now a lot of people call him selfish and he has to defend himself in his own freaking movie while Thanos' involvement is either watered down or his role in the NYC invasion is completely wiped out as we see the Snap turned into a joke.

Some villains have narrative protection... and some heroes are strictly scrutinized to the point of having their actions interpreted as crimes enough to justify and absolve the villains completely. If it was only in fandom... but it reached canon too and I hate it.

[crazyunsexycool]

Reader Fakes A Betrayal To Bucky And Steve For a HYDRA Infiltration Mission But it backfires and she is captured. She is turned into a winter soldier and very angsty!!

Hi Darling,

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Word count: 5.5K

Warnings: canon level violence, abuse/torture toward reader, physical fights, sad stucky, mentions of dead characters, angst

A/N: I'm not gonna lie this took forever to write buuuuttttt I like how it turned out. I hope it's angsty enough!!

Everyone had agreed to the plan, and there was no time like the present to see it through. Bucky and Steve were running in front of you through the hallway of an office building used by Hydra, they were hiding in plain sight. As you get to the room at the end of the hallway you find your objective. Steve enters first shield up, while Bucky follows close behind. One of the higher ups in Hydra’s chain of command stood before you along with two men meant to protect him. 

“Well if it isn’t Captain America and his little pet, the Winter Soldier.” He says from the other side of the room. “Have you decided to come back home, soldat?” 

“No, I came to end you.” Bucky lifts his gun up. Two shots ring out. 

All three men look at you with a mixture of shock and confusion as they watch Steve and Bucky fall to the ground.

“Hail Hydra.” you say from the door before leading them to a helicopter on the roof, escaping with them. 

~~~~~~~~

Bucky felt that the space in between himself and Steve wasn’t empty. With eyes still closed he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you in wanting to stay just like that for a few more minutes. Bucky starts placing kisses along your shoulder and up your neck. You let out a frustrated groan as you turn your head.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Bucky’s voice still laced with sleep. 

“No.” You hide your face under the covers trying to get more sleep. Your actions cause Bucky to chuckle behind you. 

“Yes. Come on, we have a meeting in an hour.” 

“Fine, but I’m gonna be grumpy the whole time. Why do we have to have a meeting at 7:30 in the morning?” 

“You gotta ask our Stevie that. I would much rather stay in bed with both of you.” 

You turn around and look up at him, mischievous glint in your eyes. Before he can say anything, he’s laying on his back and you’re straddling him. “Is that so?” You lower yourself so that your chest is pressed into his as you capture his lips in a heated kiss. His hands move from your hips to your back to keep you in place. But just as fast as you kiss him you snap back up. Now you aren’t looking at him with love but with anger.

“Why did you let me go? You know what they’re doing to me. It should have been you.” 

Bucky’s eyes snap open as he sits up. Searching their room for you. He’s covered in sweat and his breathing is quick and shallow. You were in his arms, it felt so real but every time he woke up the truth hit him hard. The guilt has been eating away at him. He should have been the one to infiltrate hydra, they would have been more than happy to have him back and you would be safe at home.

 But you insisted, logically speaking it made sense. You weren’t known to the world as part of the Avengers and hydra had spies everywhere so with Tony’s abilities they were able to make it look like you were one of them. Deep down Bucky and Steve both knew you volunteered for this mission to protect Bucky. To keep him as far away from hydra as possible, but now this kind of torture was far worse than anything those monsters could ever do to him. Because he didn’t know where you were or if you were ok. You had been gone for 3 months, feeding them any information you could find and installing a program within their computers to give Tony more access. Then at the 6 month mark you went radio silent. So the team went looking for you in the last location you had given them. It had been eerily quiet, abandoned. In the main room on the top floor of the  building their worst fears had come true. On the only desk in the office was your Avengers uniform neatly folded and stained with blood. Along with a note.

Thank you Soldat.

Steve could only stare at it, his chest tightening with fear as to what was being done to you if you weren’t already dead. Bucky completely lost it, he was furious and scared for you. He wouldn’t listen to anyone trying to calm him down and It took the combined efforts of Sam, Nat and Thor to subdue him and even then they had to sedate him. By then Steve had snapped out of it but he didn’t say a word, their girl was lost and Bucky was hurting because of it. No one was to blame but him and Steve would do everything in his power to bring you back. 

But that was then, you’ve been gone almost two years now. Things between Bucky and Steve have been strained. Each of them blaming themselves and pushing their bodies to the limit trying to find anything that will let them know where you are or if you’re even alive. Each day that passes and they have nothing feels like hydra is taunting them. They lost, again. But this time the stakes were higher because it was you and because they were supposed to have a future with you in it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pain didn’t last as long anymore but there was still an ache in your shoulders due to hanging from the ceiling as the guards inflicted as much pain as possible. Punishment for fighting back, but you’ll always fight back. You don’t know when or how but you had been caught and before you were able to send the message that you were ready for extraction you had been dragged and placed in a cell. It was completely dark and you had to feel your way around, by doing so you found a mattress on the floor and a barely there sheet. They kept the cell cold and you in just a shirt and your underwear. You were lucky if they cared to feed you once a day. 

Later on you would find out that you had been kept in that cell for 2 months. When you were dragged out you were weak and on the verge of death. This was just the beginning of what they had planned for you. The only thing that kept you hanging on was the knowledge that Bucky and Steve would move heaven and earth to find you and bring you back home. So with every fiber of your being you fought to stay alive, to be able to see them again and most importantly to let them know that this was not their fault. You knew them better than they thought and you knew they would blame themselves, but you volunteered. Really you put your foot down and wouldn’t allow anyone else, especially Bucky to be anywhere near these people. The truth was that you would do anything to keep either of them safe and this was one of those times. So you let the monsters at hydra do what they needed to and fought back when they were pushing too far and it was working until it wasn’t anymore. 

They had put you in the chair, the one Bucky talked about, and your memories were starting to get fuzzy. First you couldn’t remember how you ended up in this horrible place, followed by forgetting about the avengers. It got to the point where you couldn’t even remember your own name. You were the shell of the person you used to be, they made sure of that. But the one thing you couldn’t forget was the ocean blue and electric blue eyes that were so captivating. They were always there looking back at you, keeping you from going under completely and forgetting that there were two people out there that meant something to you. They broke you down until you became the weapon they needed, then they let you out to do their bidding. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve rested his head on Bucky’s chest while Bucky tried to soothe him.It never got easier to know you had been lost to them. Steve blamed himself for it. He seemed to think he was doomed to lose those he loved. First it had been Bucky and now you. Today was a particularly difficult day for Steve and he wasn’t sure why. He just woke up with the need to see and feel you close to him. To hold you in his arms as you sat in his lap and read. Or have you play with his hair as you watched something on tv. Steve just missed you, he did all the time they both did. But he didn’t allow himself to feel it thinking he didn’t deserve to even love you since it was his plan to infiltrate hydra. Between missing you and the nightmares they both shared, guilt had been clawing at Steve since they had found your uniform.

Bucky ran his hand up and down Steve’s back as the blond cried silently for you. They found themselves like this constantly trying to silence the ache of missing you with each other and when that didn’t work the arguments would happen. Then Steve and Bucky would realize you would hate that they were fighting because of your choice. It was a cycle for a while but it has now been five years since they last saw you. They would never give up but they had no leads.

Until they did.

One of Nat’s contacts came through with information on a new assassin. The description was vague but it was enough for them to think it was you. So the mission to bring you home began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a long shot but they used one of the higher ups in hydra and hoped that they would send you to either get him back or kill him. And it worked. Bucky and Steve tried to prepare themselves for what condition they might find you in. They knew hydra would have programmed you like they did with Bucky, they just weren’t really prepared to face you.

The hydra agent they had taken was dead on the floor, one shot to the head from a sniper rifle. They got your location on a rooftop far enough from them for you to make an escape. Thanks to Tony, Sam and Vision they kept track of your movements. The plan was to have Steve and Bucky face you and hopefully bring you in but somehow you managed to cause damage to Tony’s suit, taking him out of the fight. It was easy to get the rest of them off of your back. You didn’t understand why they wouldn’t fight back but you didn’t question it. 

You didn’t know they didn’t want to hurt you. With the team only being on the defensive you managed to get away from them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stood at the end of the hallway. The lights flickered above you, revealing the damage already done in the gunfight. Bucky stood at the other end, finally getting a good look at you. The same stoic expression on your face that he used to have. Eyes completely void of emotions with only one thing running through your mind, complete the mission. Your suit had a similar style as his, it was eerie.

You ran towards him, as he stood his ground. You kicked and punched but all he did was block your attack. Never once did he try to hit you and he had plenty of opportunities. It went on like this for a few minutes until he managed to grab both of your wrists, twisting you so that your back was pressed to his chest.

“Sunshine, it's me. It’s Bucky.” He says as he tries to fight back tears. “I know you’re in there. Come back to us please.” 

The name is familiar and it catches you off guard for just a moment. You break free of his hold and begin your attack on him again until he lays unconscious on the floor. You start making your way down and out of the building. The mission was to keep them busy as the other escaped and you had done your part. Before you can get to the door a shield bounces off the doorway and cuts you off. Turning to find it had returned to its owner.

“Y/N you don’t have to go.” Laying his shield down as a show of trust. “You know me, you know us. We’re your friends.” 

“I don’t have friends.” You say in a monotone voice. 

“We can help you remember.” 

“There is nothing to remember.” You say as you take out a gun from its holster aiming it at Steve. Then everything goes black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You bring a hand up to shield your eyes from the bright lights that hang above you, illuminating the incredibly white room. But this wasn’t the cell you were kept in. Yours wasn’t as bright or as clean and you didn’t even have a bed. A groan escapes your lips as you sit up. Voices reach your ears as you try to figure out where you are and how you will escape. You scan the cell and it’s bigger than you thought but what gets your attention was the two men on the other side of the glass panes, who looked at you with pained expressions and guilt. So you slowly got up and made your way to them, standing so close that if the glass wasn’t there you could feel their breath on your skin.

“Y/N?” The blond in front of you asked. Your eyes shifting from him to the brunet by his side. Their eyes are what kept your attention, red and puffy as if they had been crying but most importantly the ocean and electric blue that you remember so vividly stared back at you. It was scary, in the small moments that you had between missions or being sat at the chair you always remembered those eyes. 

“Who is Y/N?” 

“Do you remember anything?”

You didn’t answer because you couldn’t. Who were you? Were you this Y/N person they mentioned? 

“Does it matter who I am? I only complete missions.” you say, looking at them one more time before turning and sitting back on the edge of the bed. 

“Come on, we have a meeting.” You hear the blond say.

“No, I’ll stay.” The brunet says as he pulls up a chair from the corner of the room and sits in front of you. 

He spends a few hours just sitting there, giving you silent company as you await for something to happen. Maybe your handler will send someone for you but you doubt it. The man in front of you, Bucky you remember him saying, stands removing the leather jacket and gloves he had on. You catch a glimpse of the black and gold arm.

“You’re the Winter Soldier.” You say very matter of fact. That gets a reaction from him. He gets tense before turning to look at you, a mixture of concern and anger at the mention of that name.

“What do you know about the Winter Soldier?”  

“Enough.” 

He’s unnerved by your uninterested tone. His heart aches as he looks at the shell of the woman he loves sit in front of him with no memory of everything you’ve shared. The door leading to the hallway slides open and Steve appears again. He places a hand gently on Bucky’s shoulder.

“Come on Buck, you need to get some rest.” 

“No, I'd rather stay.”

“You should go.” You tell them. 

Your voice was soft, worried. As if the real you were trying to get out. It was hope for them even if it was just a sliver, they would hold on to whatever they could if it meant getting you back. Both men look at you before looking at each other. 

“Ok, I’ll go but we’ll be back in the morning to check on you.” 

You give one single nod before both men disappear for the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Days passed and still nothing. There was no real change in your behavior. Even with Bucky after some time of being away from hydra and their controls there was a hint of him underneath everything. He could recall certain memories even after 70 years of being the winter soldier. With you it was a different story. They weren’t sure why you couldn’t remember a single thing. The issue was they needed to run some labs to see what was going on but you would refuse. Any medical personnel that came close to you would be met with a fight. 

Currently you are staring down another nurse through the glass wall of your cell. But she isn’t who walks in, Steve does. He can take the hits if needed but he hopes you’ll let him close enough. His eyes are laser focused on you as he gets closer to the bed and sits down next to you. 

“Darl-” Steve stops, reminding himself that you’re unaware of your relationship. “Y/N, we need to run some tests. Will you let the nurse take some blood?”

“Why does it matter what I want?” 

“Because you’re free to choose. We just want to help you.”

“If I’m free to choose I would like to leave.” You get up with the intention of heading towards the door. Steve stands in front of you with a worried expression on his face, it makes your chest tighten at the possibility of hurting him in any way that wasn’t physical. 

“Please let us help you, I- we just want to make sure you’re ok.”

Steve wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch you. To hold your hand in his, to leave you breathless after a kiss he so desperately wanted to give to you. But he couldn’t not like this, not when you were still under Hydra’s hold. He learned that lesson the hard way when it happened with Bucky. His attention went back to you when you noticed you playing with the edge of the sweatshirt you were wearing. You weren’t fighting the medical staff because of the brainwashing, you were doing it because you were afraid of needles. Steve wondered how he could have forgotten that, it was one of the first things he learned about you. This was just another reminder of what he failed at.

“I promise I’ll stay with you and if it’s too much we can take a break or stop completely.” 

You consider his words, still unsure of why they’re being so kind to you. All of the people that you had fought against and even hurt would visit you constantly. They would all leave with a sadden or defeated expression. It made you question how you knew them. Looking back at the man in front of you, you nod. The least you could do was try in order to pay back for their kindness. Steve instructs you to sit at the small table that was in the cell as he lets the nurse come in. 

Steve stands beside you as the nurse pulls out the equipment she’ll need. She eyes you warily before ripping open a small alcohol pad and wiping the inside of your elbow. You tense at the sensation and start moving back in the chair you were sitting on as you see the needle in the nurse’s hand. 

“Hey it’s ok, keep your eyes on me.” Steve said as he crouched down, offering you a small smile. A pang of familiarity hit you, he had done this before. You just can’t remember why he cares so much. At the pinching of the needle your hand grabs his and Steve lets you squeeze as hard as you can and soon enough it’s over. The nurse excuses herself letting Steve know that she’ll give Bruce the samples. While their interaction ends Steve notices your hand hasn’t left his, and when he looks up your eyes are looking down at them. He can almost hear the gears turning in your head as you try to figure out why this is comforting, how you know him and why his touch feels so familiar. 

An alarm goes off in the building and Steve is gone in a flash. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some time passed before either Steve or Bucky came by to see you. It was late in the evening when they both walked in. Looking tired and slightly beaten up. You however were not in total control of your body. About two dozen of hydra’s men had breached the tower trying to get you out. One of them was successful in getting close enough to give you instructions. But he didn’t finish the list having been stopped by a man named Loki. 

“You should check on Lady Y/N. I caught this waste of space saying something to her.” 

When both men enter the room they find you sitting at the edge of the bed. Your eyes are vacant of any sort of emotion. They ask Friday to replay the surveillance video from the moment he appears and the hydra agent begins to give you instructions but Loki cuts him off before he can do any real damage. 

“Fuck.”

“We lost her again.” 

“We’ll get her back, Buck.”

“Will we? Whatever they did to her is different than what they did to me. Look at her Steve.” Bucky walks out frustrated, the guilt consuming him completely.

Steve stands there for a moment and walks out as well. When he does he finds Nat making her way over to him from the elevators. 

“Hey, Bruce found something in her blood sample. He wants to see you both, I already told Barnes.” 

“Thanks Nat.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was an endless cycle of sitting, waiting and watching. Both men visited still, one a little less than the other. Slowly the memories of the last few days began to resurface and you could recognize them. 

On this day their visits were short, they apologized for not being able to stay longer. That had been early in the morning and no one had come by. Unfortunately you had gotten used to the visits and you’re not sure why but it worried you when none of them came by to see you. Has hydra been successful this time? You stood and walked toward the cell door and did the one thing you had seen the others do.

“Friday, open the cell door.” 

Sure enough the door popped open and you pushed it wider so that you could walk out. At the entry to the holding cell hallway you stopped and popped your head out to make sure there was no one coming. Once you were satisfied it was empty you moved. Unsure of where you were going you just walked around until you found the elevator bank and you pressed the down button. Although you were ready to leave this place you were unsure of where to go, you knew hydra wasn’t an option. You’re taken aback when the doors to the elevator opens and a small girl is standing there looking up at you.

“Auntie Y/N!” She barrels toward your legs, wrapping her arms around them and pressing her cheek into your thigh. She looks up at you with wide brown eyes and a sweet smile. “Daddy said they found you but wouldn’t let me see you. Do you want to play princess tea party?” 

“What?” 

“It’s our favorite game. You’re the best at it because you have manners. Come on.” You grabs your hand and you allow her to pull you into the elevator and press a button to a higher floor. “We can play at your apartment.” Her excited energy has her shifting from foot to foot as she continues to look up at you. “Daddy said you’re sick and that you might not remember me is that true?” 

You look down at her and your chest tightens a little. There’s a protectiveness that surges through the longer you look at her. Somehow you know if you lie she’ll figure it out.

“Yes. For example I can’t remember your name, or where I live.” 

“Well I’m Morgan Stark and you live in an apartment here.”

Stark. There was a flicker of recognition from the last few days. He had come to visit you when everyone else was sleeping. He really liked to hear himself talk, but it was the nights that he was quiet that were unsettling. He would look at you with sadness in his eyes and you weren’t sure why. 

When the elevator doors open Morgan grabs your hand and leads you down towards a dark wood door. She instructs Friday to open it and the door unlocks. Her tiny hands twist the doorknob and she pushes it in, like she’s done it hundreds of times before. Cautiously you step inside, unsure if this is a trap or not. But you find yourself faced with an apartment. It’s been lived in and you wonder if you share it with someone. 

“Come on. I wanna help you remember.” Morgan grabs your hand and leads you to the living room and then pats the couch for you to sit down. 

Once you do as she asks you notice the small frames sitting on the coffee table and shelves. Pictures of you with the team, Steve and Bucky, the three of you. It only serves to confuse you more. 

“Here, I like this one the most because you look like a princess.” Morgan gets up on the couch after handing you a photo album and sits on your lap as you open it to the first page.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Have any of you heard from Nat yet?” 

“I did,” Clint answered. “Said she met with her sister last night and is on her way back. Should be here in like 30 minutes.” 

“Good, one step closer to getting your girl back. Bruce, make sure you take a sample of the antidote so we can recreate it and a sample of Y/N’s blood after.”

“Sure thing Tony.”

“How are you two holding up?” Tony turned to the super soldier duo.

“I’m not even sure anymore. Sure the antidote will remove the need to listen to hydra commands but that doesn’t mean she’ll remember us.”

“But this at least means we can take her out of the cell. Reintroduce her into the building, the team and that might help her remember.” 

“I’m not so sure about that.” Bucky mumbled, he was losing the last bit of hope he had. 

“Come on Barnes, if anything you can just make her fall in love with you all over again.”

Bucky glares at Clint as the door opens. Pepper stands in the doorway and surveys the area before frowning.

“Where’s Morgan?” 

“I thought she was with you?” Tony stands and heads towards his wife.

“No, she wanted to see you. I told her I would bring her down in a minute but she didn’t want to wait. You know she’s in her ‘I can do everything alone’ phase. But you really haven’t seen her?” Pepper asks worriedly. 

“Only one place I can think of she would try to find. Friday, show us Y/N’s cell.” Tony tells the A.I. Everyone looks at the screen with slight horror, your cell is empty. “Where the fuck is she? How did she get out?”

Pepper gasps as her hand flies over her mouth. 

Steve is the first to move. “Friday, show us the footage before the cell door was opened.”

They see you stand from the bed and walk toward the door and they hear you ask Friday to open the door. Tony curses under his breath. 

“You didn’t remove her from Friday’s authorization list?” 

“I didn’t think she would try to use it.”

“Tony, where is Morgan?” 

Tony has Friday follow your movements and they see when Morgan runs towards you before pulling you into the elevator. They’re all out of the meeting room and headed towards the apartment floors. Once they’re at Steve and Bucky’s apartment Tony starts to rush in only to be pulled back by Steve. The blonde puts a finger over his mouth commanding them to be silent. Him and Bucky stand closer to the door and listen to what the others can’t hear. 

“We can go in, Morgan is safe.” Bucky tells them. 

Bucky opens the door wide enough for them to walk in. Steve leads the way followed by Tony, Bruce, Clint and Bucky at the end. The sight before them claws at Steve and Bucky’s hearts. There were many pictures lying around you both and the tv was going with videos that you had recorded yourself from team get togethers, birthday parties and holidays. The laughter coming from the videos and Morgan is infectious but it only produces a sad smile on your face. The internal struggle is evident, you’re trying to remember but can’t. At the sound of movement both you and Morgan turn around, your arms wrapping around the young girl protectively before you realize it’s the same people in your videos. 

“Daddy look, I'm helping auntie Y/N remember!” Morgan squeals in delight as she runs towards her father’s open arms. 

“I see that munchkin but mama is looking for you, we should go find her.” Tony says after looking her over to make sure there are no injuries. “Let’s give them some privacy.” he mumbles to Clint and Bruce, leaving you alone with Bucky and Steve.

From your place on the couch you look up at them, unsure of what is going to happen next. Will they punish you because you left the cell? Steve sits down next to you, grabbing the remote and muting the tv. Bucky moves further into the living room, he grabs the album sitting on the coffee table and sits down. He opens the album and thumbs through the pages. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You whispered. 

“We didn’t know how much or little you remembered. We didn’t want to confuse you more.” 

“But we’re married.” You look up at Bucky and then Steve wide-eyed. “Why was I with them?” 

Steve, having been the one to approve the mission, speaks up and explains everything. His guilt is clear in every word and when it’s too difficult for him to speak Bucky fills the gaps. Once they’re done they ask if you have any questions. 

“So I did it to protect you? Because I love you?” 

Blue eyes full of guilt snap to yours. Was it really that simple? It seemed like there was a chance that you weren’t completely gone. Bucky reached into his shirt and pulled out his dog tags, a simple band with a beautiful diamond hung from it. He undid it and pulled the ring out and presented it to you. Followed by Steve doing the same with a simple band. 

“They’re your engagement and wedding rings.” They each presented you with the ring they held on to. Bucky slipped the engagement ring on first and then Steve put the wedding ring on. You held your hand and stared at it, the sight of the rings on your finger. The memory fought to break free but you only got glimpses. Steve stumbles over his words, Bucky’s hand slightly shaking as he holds it up the first time. Smiles, kisses and lingering touches. They look at each other as they watch you fight to recall any memory.  

“Why can’t I remember?” 

“Hydra probably suppressed your memories.” Bucky offered. 

“Did they do that to you?” 

He nodded. A knock at the door interrupts the conversation and Nat walks in. She holds in her hand some sort of tube with red liquid inside. She looks at you with a sympathetic smile. 

“This should counteract the agent they injected you with. If a hydra agent were to find you they won’t be able to control you anymore.” She pulled out something that looked like a spray can and added the tube to it. Nat pressed the nozzle in your direction and you inhaled it before shaking your head when you felt dizzy. 

A weight had been lifted from your shoulders in a sense but dread pooled at the pit of your stomach. A fog had been lifted and you could remember all the things you’d done, all the people.

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked.

“I can’t remember anything.” 

“I’m sorry Y/N, this won’t help with your memories only with the control hydra had.” Nat said before excusing herself.

“What happens now? Do I have to go back to that cell?”

“No, not at all.” Steve answers. 

“But where will I go?”

“You can stay here if you want. This is your home too.”

“And if I never remember?”

“Then we’ll make new memories.”

Permanent tag list:@kunaikunari @rebekahdawkins @cjand10 @nalny5 @oliviafc15 @sturchling @angywritesstuff @seitmai @writing-for-marvel @goldylions @darkhairedmenrule @little--baby--bear @almosttoopizza @littleseasiren

[onmyyan]

Wingless

A/N: Not edited* sorry this took so long I kept rewriting it and I settled on this version I hope you enjoy!! It was a super fun request 🖤 I tried to stay true to the request but if there’s anything you dislike I can take another crack at it!! @pinkgoldweebgirl

Request: “Hey! I’m new in this request thing but can you make a fic where yandere batman falls for reader, but here’s the twist. The reader was a hashira (random demon slayer🤠) on her past life and still have those slayer skill-sates (even a katana!) so naturally she’s very very fast and also say really smart, now my request is a fic where batman tries to capture her! Sorry if it’s too weird and random, but I hope you will find this request entertaining.”

T/W: canon typical violence, Yandere themes, Gun violence(no one is shot but someone is threatened) blood

You’d never given much thought to your past lives, much too busy with the current one and the problems it offered, it only took being relentlessly persuaded by a man you had no hope of escaping for the thought to truly cross your mind. To tell this story right we have to go back a week, specifically back to the day you’d been unfortunate enough to get caught in the middle of a drug deal.

See every Gothamite knew the risks of traveling the grim city. If you were out in public there was a very real chance you wouldn’t make it home, and as dramatic as it sounded it was an easily accepted truth. You don’t ever really think about those kinds of things until you have to.

All you wanted was a bag of skittles and a little fresh air, the project you’d been working on all day had left your joints locked up and you feeling stuffy. Like most artists you pulled inspiration from within, specifically the vivid nightmares that had long since plagued you. Vicious man eating monsters with the most hauntingly beautiful abilities would haunt your nights, but they made great art pieces so you figured the bags under your eyes were a decent trade in for every commission you got, your boss had been riding you about your latest piece, saying the gory snapshot of an ancient battle wouldn’t sell.

The short walk to the small bodega across the street from your dingy apartment complex was a welcome reprieve from the stress of it all, it was a trip you’d made a thousand times, so you really weren’t expecting to stumble into such a shitshow.

The second you realized what you’d walked in on you spun around hoping to walk away without the two men noticing, the cold barrel of a gun was pressing flush against your neck put a stop to those plans.

From the frantic conversation you could pick up through your ever growing haze of fear, the gunman was paranoid, not willing to risk the deal going south, while the man he was selling to didn’t want your blood on his hands.

As horrifying as the situation was, you felt calm, eerily calm in fact. You’d never been so close to death, and yet your body knew what to do. As if muscle memory, you began to take deep, steadying breaths, despite the very real risk to your life, at ease you remained. It felt like you were waiting for something, a moment, what would happen in that moment you had no idea, you simply knew it was coming, and when it did you’d be ready. At the peak of their argument, the gunman pointed his weapon at the other man, his unoccupied hand held you against him by your throat.

With a surprising amount of grace you spun yourself out of his harsh grip, twisted the arm touching you out of socket and switched positions, now you had the gunman on his knees, kneeling in a cloudy puddle. It was like you were watching yourself move from a third person perspective, his armed hand was held by your own in an iron grip, pressing the deadly thing into the skin of his cheek, just as he’d done to yours. He tripped over his words, just as shocked as you were by the turn of events, the broken apologies fell on deaf ears, as your mind buzzed within your skull, attempting to process what had just taken place, and you were not the only one, the infamous guard of Gotham himself had witnessed the whole ordeal, he had watched, seconds away from intervening when you moved, now he’d seen people move fast, faster even, but there was something about how you moved, the practiced ease in which you flipped the scenario to your favor, that had his full attention. It reminded him of a bird- no a butterfly shooting off from a flower, with an unexpected, ever delicate, speed.

He made himself known, his ever imposing form blended seamlessly with the shadows, his hands raised high in an attempt to ease your shaking form. The second man tried to run at the sight of him, but a batarang to the back laid him out, leaving the remaining three of you in a tense stare down.

“I’m sorry for running late. I’m glad you’re okay, and I know you’re frightened but I’m here now, so I need you to give me the gun.”

Your trembling body seemed out of place considering it’s current position, in fact you seemed more terrified than the man crying out below you, now begging the Batman to save him, Bruce could laugh at the irony, instead he inched closer, moving ever so slowly until he was close enough to see the sheen of unshed tears in those pretty (e/c) eyes of yours. If he wasn’t on the job he’d be laying on the Wayne charm as thick as he could, but no, he had to meet you as The Bat.

So he gently pried the weapon from your smaller hands, and despite knowing better, in that moment all he wanted was to truly feel them, with no gloves in the way. He was once more pulled from his mind as the still kneeling man began to grovel. “Please man- I wasn’t gonna hurt her. She was about to shoot-“ Bruce gave a well placed kick to the side of the scumbag’s abdomen, sending him flying into the side of the stores garbage bin, right where he belonged in Bruce’s opinion. The man was out cold, and probably needed a hospital, but the only thing The Bat cared about right then was sweet little you, shaking like a baby deer, those big beautiful eyes of yours stared ahead, no doubt in shock from the situation.

With a practiced ease, the dark knight gently ushered you out of the dark alleyway. His large hand stayed planted in the small of your back, his towering figure made you feel safe on the short walk back home. He didn’t say much, beside asking for the occasional direction, he escorted you like a guard dog would, had you been less out of it, you would have questioned his actions of letting himself in, making sure you were secure in your bed before he silently left through your bedroom window, the long stare he’d given you went unnoticed in your dazed state, a stare that, had you caught, would have chilled you to the bone.

For you that was the end of it, sure you stopped going out at night but you were trying to move on for the most part. For Bruce it was the beginning of the end. He went home that night completely out of it, his thoughts raged like an angry sea, consuming him with wave after wave with thoughts of you. It took him mere minutes to find every bit of information the world had to offer. (Y/n) (L/n). You were a good citizen, payed your taxes on time, the occasional speeding ticket, nothing major stood out to him, which in an of itself pushed him further off the edge.

A good, honest person like yourself shouldn’t live in such a crime riddled area, but where could you go to truly be away from it all? He knew you’d never move out of that shithole on your own, as much as he enjoyed what art of yours he could find, with what your jackal of a boss payed you, moving somewhere safer wasn’t in the cards. Key word being wasn’t, because Bruce came to a few conclusions in his investigation.

1. You were one of the few people in Gotham that hadn’t been tainted by it’s filthy hands, but who knew how long that last? Well he did, and he didn’t like your odds.

2. You weren’t helpless. Not completely. He was witness to the power you had, however brief it was, and he just knew he was the one who’d bring out your full potential.

3. Based on the deep dive into your browser history, he knew exactly what you’d be looking for in a partner. Someone strong, who could care for you in ways you didn’t even know you wanted, someone who could truly provide while you created whatever you dreamt up in that sweet little mind of yours. He could do that, and more, easily.

He settled himself with these thoughts as plan after plan flashed through his mind. He wasn’t delusional, he knew you’d run if he came in too strong, so he settled on the slow and steady route. Well, slow by his standards anyway.

First he pushed Wayne Enterprises to buy the company you worked under, with a few well placed signatures he had your apartment complex as well, and that was just day one. By the end of the week he’d woven himself into every aspect of your life. You had yet to notice all his hard work but he wasn’t upset with you. No, he knew you’d have shown your appreciation if you were in on it all.

Meanwhile you’d been having even more intense dreams, the flashes became moments, and those moments played out like a movie, it all felt so real, the blood on your face, the weight of the blade in your hand, the woman that kept showing up in these dreams made more appearances than ever. Her dark eyes held such care for you, it often made you feel this haunting melancholy, like you were looking at a some long lost friend. You were in the studio today, your boss had sent a confusing email earlier that had something to do with new company policies requiring more in-house work, hence your slightly uncomfortable self now painting in the otherwise empty building. The pale woman was adorned in a beautiful, white, insect patterned haori. The outline was mostly done, you were so focused on getting her eyes right you completely missed the entrance of your new corporate overlord.

“Late night Ms.(L/n)? It shows how much you care about your work, how much passion you have for it.” The deep voice spoke yanking your from your thoughts, you jumped in place, dragging a long line of purple across her face. A quick burst of emotions flew through you from fear to anger, completely bypassing the confusion at his sudden appearance.

“It’s gonna be even later now- sneaking up on someone is a real dick move.” You rubbed a paint covered thumb against your temple, now turning to meet the jerk, only for your face to fall.

Because of course you just said that to Bruce fuckin’ Wayne. He quickly dismissed the horror on your face by giving you his most sincere look. “I’m so incredibly sorry. I’ve been a fan of your work for a while now- when I read your name on the employee roster I couldn’t help myself.” His velvet like voice paired with that criminally fine face had you thinking some inappropriate work place thoughts, and he was a fan?! With a cough you pulled your mind from the gutter to take his outstretched hand, quickly pulling away when you realized how dirty your own were, at least you tried to pull away, but his larger, warmer hands held firm, he never broke eye contact as he spoke. “I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive such a bumbling fool. I got a little too excited earlier.” Heat crawled up your neck, mind running a mile a minute as you processed all he threw at you. He brought your paint dried hands to his lips to press a searing kiss to the back of them.

“It’s all good aha! Paint can always come off! That’s what my gram used to tell me when I drew on the walls-I don’t know why I just told you that uh- sorry I’m (Y/n)- well you knew that but- Hi. Good to meet you Mr. Wayne. Officially that is.” His smirk seemed to deepen, his eyes drank you in, a dangerous glint had you take half a step back, but in a second it was gone, as if it never happened. He was setting off alarm after alarm in your mind, but he also had this inexplicable magnetism to him, so strong it kept you from making some halfhearted excuse to book it to your car. Before you could come up with a non rude way to ask why he was here so late he answered, as if reading your mind.

“I’m glad I caught you here on my way out. I was just thinking my foyer needed a new piece, something raw, real, maybe a little dark. Would you be interested in coming by to see the space? You’d be compensated for the visit, even if you decide not to do it. No pressure.” He spoke smoothly, like a true businessman, he took small steps around both you and the messy art space, like a shark circling its prey.

You swallowed thickly, mind racing at the opportunity, you knew this could make or break your career, and as he’d very publicly bought this company you knew he couldn’t do anything to you that wouldn’t be noticed. His eyes looked so dark under the studio lights, the blue almost invisible with how blown his irises were. “Of course I’ll try to make it but my butler Alfred will probably be the one with you while you’re working.” He said once more reading your body language, the assurance of another person made your shoulders drop, he bit back a grin, knowing he had you in the palm of his hand.

The man before you had made you feel a lot of things, in the short time he’d been in your presence, but the good outweighed the bad and feeling the pressure to respond then and there you gave a breathless “Yes.”

And the deal was done. Only you had no idea this would be a one way trip.

[autisticgayngel]

Canonverse Castiel-centric/pining/loving Cas fics

some of these are Dean's POV and a lot are alternating POV, but all of them really delve into Cas's emotions and his love for Dean. All canonverse and all happy endings. Categorised by post-confession, pre-s15 curtain fic and other canon-era. Descending word count within each category. If anyone has any recs for things I should add lmk!

Post-Confession Fics

things happen (they do, they do, and they do) by sobsicles 28k rating E

Everyone has recced this, and for good reason, it's stunning. Cas gets back from the empty and Dean sort of lets him down gently and is very worried about breaking his heart. Despite this Cas is finally able to express to Dean how much he loves him and takes full advantage of this. He's earnest and sweet and so intense about it, but also incredibly hurt about the lack of reciprocation, though he tries to hide it. He does get the love he deserves in the end and it's so good!

closer (isn't close enough) by fleeceframe 18k rating E

Again, Dean's POV, but very much focused on how much Cas loves him. Has the gorgeous Cas line: “When you are hungry, you eat. When you are tired, you rest. When you are dirty, you bathe. But what are you supposed to do with love?”

My unintended by DeanaWinchester, Jeanne_de_Valois 10k rating E

Really good Cas POV, he’s obsessive and insecure but also deeply loving.

my heart a compass by lagaudiere 10k rating T

The empty torments Cas with visions of Dean and of the family he longs to have with Dean. Dean saves him.

I said show me something by ilovehowyouletmefall 7k rating E

Sparked by the debate about whether or not Dean thinks Cas can feel. Cas is hurt by Dean saying he thought he couldn't feel and vulcan mind melds to show him exactly how he feels about him. It's a really interesting exploration of both of their feelings and fears.

Gift by thisisapaige 2k rating G

Very sweet little fic of them trying to work things out once Cas returns from the empty.

Pre-s15 Curtain Fics

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden 95k rating E

Dean tries to retire with his family but finds himself alone as Sam and Jack take a road trip and Cas goes hunting in order to prove he's still useful as a human and to avoid thinking about his feelings for Dean. Really agonising and harrowing at the start as they both feel so rejected and miserable. Cas gets into situations where monsters use his feelings for Dean to attack him. Eventually, they're able to tentatively work out their feelings and settle down together and it's very sweet.

Morning Glory by edgarallanrose 26k rating E

Dean and Cas retire together. Cas becomes a beekeeper and Dean starts to use the honey he makes to bake goods, which they sell at the farmer's market. Cas is very much in love with Dean but it takes Dean a bit longer to work things out.

Other Canon-era

A Winter's Tale by NorthernSparrow 64k rating T

This one hurts a lot, so fair warning for that. Cas falls ill while human and homeless and is hospitalised. Dean finds the journal Cas kept as he struggled to survive in this time. Pre-Destiel but Cas does write a lot about his feelings for Dean. Sam and Dean shower Cas with love and kindess as he recovers. Also a destiel epilogue that is very sweet and fluffy.

In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things (Salr323) 57k rating E

Cas confesses his love to Dean post s11 finale but the timing is terrible and Dean is very repressed about it all and breaks Cas's heart. Cas gets an Italian man of letters boyfriend in an attempt to get over it and Dean is insanely jealous (which Cas is oblivious to) but they all have to work together to try to save Sam from the BMOL. Dean eventually gets his shit together and treats Cas the way Cas has learnt to understand he deserves.

That Black Dog Ache by SaltyWords (agent4hire22) 28k rating E

This is very much Dean's POV but I'm putting it here anyway because it has a really intense love confession from Cas, which I'll include an excerpt of that drives me insane:

'“I listen to your music, and I close my eyes. I try to imagine I’m in the Impala, hunting with you. And, sometimes,” his throat jumped, “I lay on your bed. I think about what it would be like if I got to have a place on it beside you... If you ever let me get close enough.”'

Kelp!I Need Somebody by andimeantittosting (Saylee) 27k rating E

A really sweet fic in which Sam, Dean and Cas go to investigate a case on Jesse and Cesar's ranch. Switching POV with really good mutual pining as they tentatively begin to realise the other feels the same.

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous 26k rating E

Set early s4, Cas has to possess Dean temporarily. While doing this, he has to work to hide his feelings from Dean. Cas is already obsessed with Dean and in love with him but is embarrassed by it and struggles to keep Dean from seeing all of this, especially when Dean wants to have sex with someone while Cas is possessing him.

Après by imogenbynight 24k rating E

Set after the angels fall in s8. Cas falls to earth in Paris and realises he's in love with Dean. Dean comes to get him and they find love together in Paris.

desiderium, lost by atlasian 20k rating T

Castiel confesses his love for Dean and Dean tells him to move on. Cas tries, fairly unsuccessfully, before Dean gets it together.

No Other Worthy Quest by MajorEnglishEsquire 15k rating E

Cas just loves Dean very much.

'“For fuck's sake,” his skin is heating. Cas can feel it. “Stop saying lovey-dovey shit.”

“I know,” Cas rolls his eyes. “It’s so mortifying for you when I want to tell you I love you. I’m using all my self-restraint, I promise not to embarrass you.”'

The Arrow by jscribbles 12k rating T

Valentine's day and Cas has been hit by a Cupid's arrow and is literally sick with love for Dean.

and all this devotion by dothraki_shieldmaiden 10k rating M

Dean gets hurt on a hunt and Cas takes care of him in a cabin. Very sweet, delightful Cas POV of him being very much in love.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits 10k rating E

Cas struggles to work out why Dean deems some things meaningful and some things worthless, and where he fits into this apparent dichotomy. Really gorgeous and agonising Cas POV that deals with their constant issue of Dean just wanting Cas to stay and Cas wanting Dean to want him to stay but they're both too afraid to express it.

Breathe by turningthepages 9k rating G

Dean and Cas platonically sleep together to help with Dean's sleep. Cas both likes the situation and longs for it to mean more.

First Date by aeli_kindara 9k rating T

Dean asks Cas on a date and they're both trying very hard to make it all work. The sequel is stunning too.

'Dean says, “We should do that. Go on a date.”

Something in Castiel’s chest fuzzes, like static on a TV, and stops.'

weights on my ankles by dothraki_shieldmaiden 9k rating M

After 15x3 The Rupture, Cas goes back to Rexford. While there, he thinks about how Dean hurt him all those years ago and how he hurt him more recently. Partly a 9x6 Heaven Can Wait fanfic-gap fic.

Let it Linger by OmniscientOranges 8k rating M

Cas starts sleeping with men out of jealousy when watching Dean pick up women at bars. The way the fic describes how in love he is and how hopeless he feels about it is both agonising and very sweet.

He Thought He Was Reckless by MajorEnglishEsquire 8k rating M

Cas plays up injuries so that Dean will coddle him. Self-woobification from the Angel of the Lord and it's so sweet!

Something to Protect by Sass_Master 6k rating G

Cas tries to work out how to make Dean feel less unsafe so that he no longer has to jolt awake. Sweet, tentative intimacy and Cas enjoying it so much.

lonely hearts. by outpastthemoat 5k rating G

Deals with Cas accompanying Sam and Dean on hunts and feeling incredibly lonely and longing to be with Dean. He finds solace in romance novels.

Some People Would Call This Romantic by almaasi 5k rating G

Human Cas goes to the beach and finds it rather overwhelming. Taking a romantic walk with Dean along the beach is also overwhelming.

The Tea is Decaf by mnwood 4k rating T

Really sweet! Cas and Eileen talk and gossip about Sam and Dean in the bunker at night over tea.

A Place to Rest by Inessencedivided 3k rating G

Dean and Cas talk through things after the Stuck in the Middle with You love confession. Cas cries some more.

White Noise by domesticadventures 2k rating G

Cas struggles with feelings of worthlessness in the aftermath of Lucifer's possession.

Receipts by surlybobbies 1k rating G

Cas writes little notes about how much he loves Dean on receipts from meals they share together. Dean finds them.