#in the night court you just have to deal with the IRS or some shit which is arguably way worse

[bindinglove]

someone pointed out that tamlin doesn’t even make each individual person pay tithe either, it’s by region, so they send a representative who brings the share the region gathered together. this is even funnier in hindsight when you compare it to legit just having to pay taxes 😭

i remember literally peeing laughing when feyre was talking to rhys about the tithe and rhys was like god no we don’t have tithe how cruel, and feyre was like omg so you guys don’t tax people? and rhys was like no we definitely tax people

i literally cackled like c’mon man

[roxa-sos]

heaven's gate, part one - grief and her rich friends. (john b routledge)

john b routledge x reyna lance

tw; alcohol, teenage drinking, kissing + reference to it leading to sex towards the end

part one; reyna lance, born and raised in the outer banks, deals with grief in an unusual way.

a/n -- uh reyna is rich girl chaos. i love her too much.

×××

grief is weird when your family has money.

on one hand, you're probably looking at a big sum of money and access to a fund that whoever's dead left for you. that's a plus. on the other side, you just lost someone you were close to. but you can never be too close to anyone when you've got power over half of an island.

reyna lance. sixteen year old rich girl from figure eight. daughter of sean and tyra lance. she was only known for three major things - her dad's porsche, her messy breakups, and her alcohol problem.

problems were constant in the lance family. from tax evasion to fucking with stocks, it seemed like every other month it looked like sean lance was going to jail. he never did, though, which was quite the accomplishment, but expected with his kind of funds. everyone always thought that it would be jailtime that drew him away from the island. like always, though, he surprised the residents of the outer banks.

"reyna!" her mother called from the bottom of the staircase, banging on the railing to get her attention. her actions dragged the girl out of her room, in shorts, a tube top and some layer that resembled a kimono. "you can't hide from sean like this."

the girl groaned, throwing her head back before she leaned over the side of the staircase. she could technically hide from her dad for as long as she wanted, they had multiple properties, boats, cars, it would take a considerable amount of time for him to find her. nevertheless, she had to listen to her mom. it was hard saying no to that woman.

"you can't hide from sean like this," she echoed in a mocking tone, looking down at her mom.

tyra beckoned her down with her hand, crossing her arms. "your father told you an hour ago that we needed to talk as a family. that doesn't mean you hide away like a hermit, sweetie."

"okay, i'm here now. you want to talk?" reyna asked, taking her time as she climbed down the stairs to talk to her mother.

"your dad's in the kitchen. come on." with that statement, her mom turned her back on the girl and walked down the hall. this left reyna considering going back upstairs, but if her parents were so desperate to talk to her, she figured she may as well give them the time of day.

so, she followed her mother, trailing a few feet behind her after hurrying down the rest of the stairs.

upon entering the kitchen, she caught sight of a woman sitting at the kitchen table, her father leaning on the table next to her. "what is it now, dad, trouble with the IRS or some shit?" reyna asked, hardly looking at her dad while she grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

"can you take this seriously, please?" her mother hissed at her, causing reyna to do a double take. her mom was usually a fairly passive aggressive person. she didn't yell, she didn't take disciplinary action, she just got frustrated with people. and disappointed, her favorite phrase was that she "wasn't sad, just disappointed." so the new tone of voice got reyna's attention.

"yeah... yeah," the girl trailed off, closing the fridge, facing her parents from where she stood. "so what's going on?"

"baby," her father finally spoke up, taking a few steps towards her. "i'd love it if you could meet karissa." he gestured to the woman at the table. she was blonde, young, and she looked professional.

"alright, uh, hi, then?" reyna shrugged, providing nothing more than a wave for the blonde.

"she's my... girlfriend."

reyna's father's words caused her jaw to drop. literally. reyna never thought that she'd be in a situation that would physically cause her jaw to drop, but there she was, staring at her father's... mistress? from across the kitchen, completely dumbstruck.

"i told you to ease her into it," tyra spat, obviously angry with the man.

"you're growing up, you know? i think you deserve to know when your dad's gonna be out of your life," sean ignored reyna's mother, trying to get into his daughter's line of sight to keep her attention.

reyna's parents were always rocky. she didn't have a fantastic relationship with her dad, and she always joked about how she'd choose her mom's side in the divorce, but she didn't actually think that a divorce was ever going to happen, especially considering how tyra was more of a trophy wife than a working one. "what are you talking about?" reyna started interrogating the man in front of her, shaking her head as if she didn't understand it.

"your mother and i are splitting up. it's mutual-" he began, before being interrupted by his apparent ex-wife.

"it's over karissa," she interjected before letting reyna's father continue.

"mutual. we fell out of love. you've always said that you wanted to stick with your mom, so i figured that it was just easier to relinquish custody." he continued, explaining his thinking as if it was going to make any sense to his teenage daughter.

reyna stood there for a few moments, eyebrows furrowed as she stared at her dad. 

"i know it's not immediate, but we'll be in court for the next few weeks sorting things out. okay? it's for the best that you're sticking with tyra. you two are good." sean clapped his hands once he was done speaking, not expecting a response from reyna. "good. good, we've cleared the air. saying that, you both have my number, i'll be staying at the other place until i officially move out. that's alright?"

"yeah, dad, that's alright." maybe it was shock, or maybe she'd just accepted it, but reyna didn't seem to be phased by a divorce being dumped in her lap.

reyna tended to be... insensitive. was she an asshole? kind of, actually, but not nearly as much as a majority of the kooks. but did she understand healthy relationships? hardly, and that was all thanks to the people getting a divorce. so maybe it was acceptance after all, because she never really saw them working out. 

"is that it?" she asked, looking at the adults in the room. tyra looked a little shocked to see the girl so done with the conversation, but she nodded carefully.

"that's it, but-"

"alright, cool, uh, you guys can do whatever, i'll be back later." she nodded, quickly backing out of the kitchen. 

she had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she didn't understand at all. anger? she was pissed at her dad for being a whore when he was married and had a kid. sad? she was sad about... losing him? sure. there was something else there, though, and she couldn't figure it out.

and she wouldn't figure it out, at least, she didn't think she would. it was almost nine in the evening, and she was sure that there had to be at least one rager on the island on that fine friday night. it was the outer banks, there was a party somewhere every night, you just had to know where to look. usually reyna went to parties with friends. it was how you stayed safe, how you had a designated driver, and how you had fun. though, reyna wasn't looking for anything other than to get wasted and evict whatever feeling was overtaking her body.

so, instead of heading back to her room, she headed out to the garage. nothing like pulling up in your dad's porsche to wherever you were going. she got into the driver seat and pulled out her phone, and based on a few snapchat stories, it was easy to deduct that where she needed to go to get wasted was the boneyard, for a good old kegger.

it took her less than twenty minutes to get there, and she could've done it in ten if she hadn't pulled over to scream. screech at the top of her lungs, frustrated because she felt stuck. nevertheless, she got there, shoving the keys in her back pocket before finding her way to the crowd of people. a bonfire, a keg, and all different kinds of teens were scattered around the beach. with these different kinds of teens, she ultimately was able to spot one of her best friends.

"lance, never texted me back about the party, but you still showed up to it?" topper thornton referred to reyna by her last name as she greeted him with a disappointing shrug.

"you know i love leaving you on read," she joked, taking a cup of beer he offered to her. "is sarah around?" she asked about his girlfriend, not seeing the kook princess by his side.

"yeah, she's somewhere. you know, being sarah cameron." he rolled his eyes and sighed. reyna knew all about the girl just through topper himself, and not that reyna hated sarah... just that she was definitely topper's friend before she was hers. "did you steal your dad's car?" he asked, a hint of astonishment in his voice. 

reyna shrugged once more, a little smug smile on her face that time. "looking for new ways to piss him off." she admitted, gesturing to the vehicle. 

"well, when he kicks you out, i can probably sneak you into our guest bedroom." topper laughed, glancing down the beach. "you're kidding me, sarah's-" he began to explain before shouting her name once more and booking it down the beach. she was probably doing something dumb... being sarah cameron.

reyna clicked her tongue, swishing the beer around in the plastic cup she'd been given while nodding. "nice talk," she continued walking down the beach until she could spot some of the pogues, and took a drink to the fact that she had to see them. 

of course, she didn't get what she expected. she gagged on the alcohol, wincing at the taste. "holy fuck," she coughed, shaking her head.

"something wrong?" reyna heard a voice from beside her, and she could hardly bring herself out of her own disgust to look at the person it was coming from.

"yeah, this beer tastes like warm coors light, who serves warm coors light at a party?" she was half joking, but it was really bad. the guy standing next to her was hard to recognize from up close. he had somewhat long brown hair that was sticking out of the bottom of a baseball cap turned backwards. apparently he didn't have the time to button up his shirt all the way, so it sat open, two buttons holding it together towards his lower abdomen. of course, that made it hard for reyna to not stare at what was exposed. she brought her eyes to meet his, and saw a slight smile on his face as he looked down at her. 

"we do, i guess," he laughed, tilting his head to the side. he seemed surprised to hear her say something so... bold to him, but he brushed if off. "sorry for the shitty beer, then. i'm john b." he offered his hand for her to shake, and she took it out of habit. 

she recognized his name, and it was just her luck that he was one of those pogues. he had to be one of the most recognizable ones, now that she thought about it, but she'd never seen him face to face.

"reyna. reyna lance." she introduced herself in response, shaking his hand briefly before letting go. 

"oh, trust me, i know a lance when i see one," he nodded, letting her know that she didn't need to introduce herself.

"you do?" reyna asked, a little confused. she'd already managed to forget that the entire island knew her and her parents. even the kids from the cut, which they probably screwed over the most.

"yeah, i do," john b confirmed, taking the cup of beer from reyna's hand and downing it for her. "what i originally came over here to ask you is what you're doing alone at my party."

"we own parties now?" reyna laughed, raising an eyebrow at the boy. why was she alone? topper blew her off, of course, but she wasn't about to let john b in on her personal life. 

he rolled his eyes at her, his smile slightly growing. "whatever, i brought the beer, i own the party, you're just roaming around alone?" 

"just trying to get wasted, john b." reyna reassured him, patting his shoulder like they were old friends. it probably didn't help that he'd drank the rest of her beer, but she wasn't sure she could've finished the cup herself without throwing up.

"this, reyna, is what you should've said earlier." he immediately pointed out, motioning for her to wait a moment as he maneuvered through people to get to the keg. it didn't take him long to come back with another cup, earning a sour look from reyna. "don't look so bitchy, it's not warm coors light, just drink it." he handed her the cup, and resisting every muscle in her body that told her not to, she took a sip.

the drink burned the back of her throat, but that made her know it was strong.

"oh, wow," she coughed, blinking a few times. "wasting good alcohol on a kook?"

"looked like you needed it." john b said in response, arms crossed as he watched her take another sip. well, less of a sip, more of a chug. he had his own cup in his hand, hardly filled, but he matched her pace when he saw her continue to drink.

"shit, you're the best pogue i know," she breathed, half of the cup's contents having been consumed at that point.

"i better be," he responded briefly before returning to drinking, reyna following in pursuit. when he was done, he had to pinch the bridge of his nose and rub his eyes. "christ, our livers are shot."

"who gives a fuck about livers? as far as i'm concerned, i could die tomorrow night." reyna almost choked on her words by the time she was done with the cup, running her hand through her hair. 

"tomorrow night?" john b seemed a little surprised, but he went with it, "that doesn't give us a lot of time." 

"time to do what?" reyna shook her head, already feeling the alcohol taking its toll on her body.

he only shrugged, offering reyna the chance to answer that question herself.

"fuck it, then, i'm gonna go dance like i don't hate myself and then we'll see if i die." she shrugged, throwing her cup with as much force as possible towards the white trash bag that sat twenty feet away from them. it hardly made it in, but there were what looked like a hundred other cups scattered around the bag.

"have fun, then, i'm gonna go regret drinking this much," john b waved her away as reyna backed away from him and walked towards the music, leaving her to her own agenda.

it hardly took an hour for whatever had been in the plastic cup to really fuck reyna up. being wasted was an understatement by the time ten forty five rolled around. by then, people were dwindling. they'd run out of beer, so people had started to head home, or to other parties that were stocked.

reyna had to stick around, though, because the last thing she needed was to trash her dad's porsche, no matter how badly she wanted to do it. she said she was gonna die tomorrow night, not that night.

"still sticking around?" she heard that voice again, and turned once more to see john b right behind her.

"drunk driving is no joke, and i'm where you are, jb." reyna had already given him a nickname, acknowledging her unhealthy alcohol content.

john b laughed, looking reyna up and down. she was glistening with sweat from dancing and the heat, her hair was a mess, and when she smiled at him she had her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. he was just as wasted as she was, but he hid it a little better. "so, if i crash in the back of my van, you're there?"

reyna nodded, letting out a breath. she probably wouldn't have let herself get so lost if she wasn't trying to escape herself, but she didn't care about that anymore. honestly, as long as she could be anyone other than reyna lance for a little bit? life wasn't too bad, didn't matter if she was wasted or not.

and hanging with pogue boys didn't make her feel like a lance. "i'm there."

"good, because i can't leave you drunk and alone on this beach." he pointed out, moving his hand to her hip to keep her steady next to him. she was standing just fine, she was wasted, but not blackout drink. not embarrassingly drunk.

"i didn't expect you to be the kind of guy to leave drunk girls on the beach," reyna nodded as he walked her towards the van, which was a little further down the beach, away from her dad's car.

he could only laugh at her few comments, neither of them knowing why. even drunk, reyna didn't think she'd have a pogue laughing at her dumb jokes and comments. standing next to the van, her back to the door, he faced her, their eye contact overwhelmingly obvious to reyna.

his hands were still on her hips, and she gently rested her own hands on his shoulders in response. before she knew it, she'd pulled him towards her and crashed her lips onto his. he welcomed the kiss, pushing her up against the side of the van as she fumbled for the door handle to get it open. 

grief.

grief for whatever her life had been before? that was that feeling.

and grief made people do stupid things. 

taglist; @maebanks @dpaccione @outerbxrafe @jjbabyouterbanks @wtfstarkey

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: The Rebellion of Adrien Agreste, ch. 15

Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Luka Couffaine, Lila Rossi/karma, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/aneurism, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Plagg & Tikki

Characters: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Lila Rossi, Jagged Stone, Plagg, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine, Penny Rolling, Anarka Couffaine, Rose Lavillant, Juleka Couffaine, Kagami Tsurugi, Alya Césaire, Chloé Bourgeois, Wayhem, Nadja Chamack, Nathalie Sancoeur, Sabine Cheng, Tom Dupain, Tikki, Fang, Principal Damocles, Caline Bustier, Ms. Mendeleiev, original minor character, Alec Cataldi, Lila Rossi’s Mother, Sabrina Raincomprix, Roger Raincomprix, Mylène Haprèle, Le Gorille | Adrien Agreste’s Bodyguard, Nino Lahiffe, Nooroo

Tags: Lila Rossi salt, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Teenage Rebellion, Swearing, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Crack Treated Seriously, Lila Rossi’s Lies Are Exposed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Luka Couffaine Needs a Hug, Paparazzi, Parentification, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Gabriel Agreste Needs an Aneurism, Uncle Jagged Stone, we’re all queer here, the spirit of punk is sometimes just being allowed to be yourself, Kagami Finds Her Groove, punk rock fashion, Savage Kagami, Marinette protection squad, Good Parent Sabine Cheng, Good Parent Tom Dupain, Protective Kagami Tsurugi, Protective Luka Couffaine, Bisexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Pansexual Luka Couffaine, Sharing a Bed, Pet Names, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Instagram, Bullying, Social Media, Anxiety, Makeover, Hugs, will cure your acne, Face Punching, Bad Ass Juleka Couffaine, Rumors, Protective Juleka Couffaine, Protective Adrien Agreste, Lawyers, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Holding Hands, accountability, mental health, Jagged Stone’s well-paid pet shark, How to Make the Evening News, Sexy eyeliner for days, one fish two fish Lila is a screwed fish, How to have fun and piss Gabriel off, Fuckery, sweet litigious karma, Alya sugar, lawyer shark doo doo doo doo doo doo, Schadenfreude, Bad Ass Alya Césaire, Gaslighting, abuse denormalization, Jagged likes his lawyers like he likes his pets: toothy af, Blood in the Water, Everything you didn’t know you wanted and some things you did, Gabriel Agreste is shark bait, Denial, Consequences, Principal Damocles salt, caline bustier salt, the impotence of Gabriel Agreste, snarky Nooroo, lies and the lying liars who tell them, Lila’s brain is a narcissistic hellscape, Lila’s mind is built like an Escher piece, Alec Cataldi salt, Adrien Sugar, wholesome salt, Fu Salt, Kwami Shenanigans, Nooroo is a little shit

Summary: The Impotence of Gabriel Agreste

Notes: I’ve received some amazing fanart for Rebellion. @redcoloredpanda drew Luka and Adrien snuggling, and @momo-oh-nono drew Marinette’s rocker outfit! So now chapter 17 is writing itself in my head, yay! Thank you for inspiring me!

AO3 link

Chapters 1-2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14

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Gabriel Agreste watched, fingers steepled, as the scene outside the school unfolded. He had, of course, realized quite quickly attempting to counter Adrien’s claims would be a foolish move. True or not, he would look like the villain if he were to try, accused of homophobia and perhaps classism given the way this Luka boy dressed. He had cancelled the story that was to appear, and hopefully nothing would leak.

On the bright side, he had a patsy. Lila was a loose cannon, currently proving so to the entire world, and he could easily claim she had mischaracterized her relationship with his son. She was currently trying to do the same thing, taking advantage of the fact that Adrien had not yet arrived to the mob of reporters.

“He told me he loved me. He told me we would go public, and he used me and then dumped me,” the girl was telling a reporter tearfully.

Gabriel was rather displeased with the implications of that accusation, which could impact the brand.

Fortunately, the reporter was more interested in the limo that had pulled up and deposited… was that the young designer?

The girl nearly fell, but someone rushed forward to embrace her. When the camera focused…

Kagami Tsurugi.

Nathalie shifted beside him, and he could feel through the miraculous that she was as startled as he was.

He could only assume Adrien was also in the limousine; from the “leaked” text messages the previous night and implications on social media, Marinette Dupain-Cheng was an accomplice. But this meant the scion of his business partner, someone he thought would be a good influence on his son, was likely also involved. Her presence was unlikely a coincidence.

Perhaps this was information he could use, but he filed it away for later as none other than Jagged Stone exited the limo next.

Despite the video the night before of the “jam session,” it was unexpected to see the rock star accompanying his son to school.

The announcement came as a surprise, as he didn’t follow the music world terribly closely, and certainly not a ruffian like Stone. Gabriel had been unaware that Marinette had been so prolific, that she had designed anything beyond the bowler hat.

“Please prepare a dossier on Mlle. Dupain-Cheng,” he ordered Nathalie. She immediately began to tap away on her tablet. “And perhaps her parents as well. We should know who we are dealing with.”

Next to leave the limo was Adrien and his… boyfriend. Clearly, the Gorilla had not been able to intercept them as ordered. Though he’d seen the disaster that Adrien had made of his hair in the photos and video the previous night, it still shocked him.

He studied the body language of his son and Luka Couffaine, frowning. They appeared to be close, the other boy looking at him in such a way as to make the “boyfriend” claim believable. For the life of him, Gabriel couldn’t figure out how they could have met—though from the dossier Nathalie had prepared it seemed the boy’s younger sister was in Adrien’s class.

When Mlle. Tsurugi caught Lila’s wrist, he found himself letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. From the angle of the camera he had been uncertain who she intended to hit.

The teens played for the cameras masterfully, and Gabriel couldn’t help but be a little impressed. If this was staged, they had organized a believable PR opportunity on extremely short notice. If they weren’t working against his interests, he’d consider giving them internships at Gabriel.

Beside him, Nathalie let out an involuntary incredulous snort at Lila’s ridiculous accusation of pederasty.

Luka Couffaine gave a remarkably level response, and barely had Lila spoken again than the cameras jostled, moving around in a way that made it difficult to see what was happening, though it sounded like Lila let out a little shriek.

The camera’s focused on a young woman with purple in her dark hair as she yelled, “How dare you talk about my brother that way! You’re not worthy of the bottom of his shoes!”

Rather creative, as far as insults went.

Jagged Stone saw fit to introduce the girl as Luka Couffaine’s younger sister, who had been mentioned on the dossier Nathalie had prepared on the “boyfriend.” And identified their mother as a former bandmate of his.

Gabriel let out a disgusted sigh. Of all the riff-raff Adrien could consort with, he chose someone close to a disaster of a man like Jagged Stone. That certainly explained why the rocker was involved.

Lila’s desperate claims that Luka Couffaine was courting Marinette Dupain-Cheng, though interesting, were quickly refuted.

And then Kagami Tsurugi spoke, a complete falsehood as Gabriel had not been aware of this supposed boyfriend before Adrien took his Instagram account rogue the previous evening. He would have to find out if she was being misled or intentionally lying to damage his image.

He frowned at Mlle. Dupain-Cheng’s allegations of sexual impropriety toward Adrien by Lila, glancing toward Nathalie. “Have HR investigate that.”

The cameras jostled again as Lila childishly threw herself at the girl. When they focused, Lila was on the ground, a woman in a smart business skirt suit looking down at her with a bored look on her face.

Nathalie started typing notes on her tablet as the woman, apparently M. Stone’s lawyer, outlined a list of charges against Lila. Her fingers stopped at Lila’s accusation—which, while twisted, was technically not entirely a lie.

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. He had miscalculated, using this girl. She was far too much a loose cannon, clearly, out only for herself. He had known that, of course, but thought her controllable, someone who would not bite the hand that fed her.

“Have HR fire her immediately. Gabriel social media should put out a statement announcing that, stating an investigation will be made into the sexual assault claims.”

More drama unfolded on the TV, the situation interrupted by the inept principal of the school. Lila’s attempts at getting Mlle. Couffaine in trouble were cut off by the lawyer, who announced further charges based on the defamation and attempted assault against M. Couffaine.

He watched, stewing, as a touching goodbye took place between his son and the other boy, as they exchanged pet names, even.

Truly, if this was a performance, much had gone into it in under 24 hours. It left him uneasy.

The paparazzi continued filming as Mlle. Tsurugi left, as Jagged Stone tried to coax his ridiculous crocodile out of the limo, as Adrien and Luka flirted further, as Lila shrieked and tried to interrupt through what would have likely been violence if not for the snapping crocodile taking offense to her.

Her ire turned to Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, whose large father stepped in front of her as a shield, before she was scolded by the principal and ordered into the school.

Lila’s last attempt to turn matters in her favor, claiming Marinette was a bully, was laughed off by Jagged Stone.

The press swarmed them, calling out questions that were largely inane at best, though the one questioning the relationship between Mlle. Dupain-Cheng and Mlle. Tsurugi caught Gabriel’s attention.

“I think a call to Mme. Tsurugi shortly will be in our best interests, perhaps,” he murmured.

“I’ll add it to your schedule, sir.”

He was impressed when his son shut down the reporters, asserting his right as a minor not to be filmed. The boy had jumped to defend Mlle. Dupain-Cheng from a question regarding the “leaked” text messages, confirming he released them himself.

Ending his association with Lila Rossi was necessary, particularly if she was foolish enough to leave such damning evidence to be released.

The drama moved into the school, where the cameras would not follow, and Gabriel stood.

“You will watch through a butterfly?” Nathalie asked.

He only nodded in response as he moved past.

Gabriel didn’t transform until he was safely in his lair, ignoring the reproachful look from Nooroo. He quickly sent an Akuma out toward the school, letting it hover so he could get a better picture.

What he found was… boring. The group including Adrien and Mlle. Dupain-Cheng were seated outside the principal’s office, waiting on something. The girl herself was half-asleep against her mother.

Movement and anger caught his attention. A woman was stalking across the courtyard, then up the stairs. She marched right to Mme. Bustier’s room and started yelling… in Italian.

He guessed this was Lila Rossi’s mother.

The argument spilled into the open-air hallway, the rage from both of them potent Akuma possibilities—though he preferred not to use the younger Rossi any longer.

The Akuma was noticed, he realized, when shock and horror assailed him from all around. The Akuma dipped lower, drawn by the tumult, only to be captured.

Lila Rossi’s mind was a dungeon of grudges and entitlement, filthy and haughty. It always had been, but the sheer narcissism of her inflated self-import was cloying in a sickening way.

Before he could even begin to speak to her, though, pain assailed his senses, and he was abruptly aware that his connection had been severed. When he had his senses back, he realized his Akuma had been captured in a jar. He didn’t know what had led to that, but the emotions he felt were even more promising than the Rossis’.

The guilt and horror and anger of Alya Césaire was so potent he sent the Akuma beating against the glass to try to reach her, to no avail—it was only as strong as a simple butterfly. He couldn’t Akumatize her, no matter how powerful she would be. He couldn’t send out another Akuma, not with one already out, and Nathalie wasn’t strong enough for another try at Scarlet Hawkmoth, though this was the perfect occasion for it.

Before long, the Akuma was shut in darkness, and was thus useless.

He snarled in frustration, letting his transformation fall. Nooroo only regarded him silently.

Useless.

Only the mundane was left to him—a call to Mme. Tsurugi, after he’d calmed.

It would be hours, the Akuma long since purified by Ladybug, before he’d realize he could have recalled the power and sent out another.

No amount of railing at Nooroo would give him that opportunity back—and the kwami only murmured cheekily, “You didn’t ask” when Gabriel demanded to know why he hadn’t recommended it.

--

Marinette felt her phone buzz on her lap and snuck a peek at it.

Kagami: Are we dating now, too?

She could feel the heat rush to her face. A coughing fit overtook her. She only vaguely aware of what was going on around her, until a cup of water was pushed in her hand and she found herself in the hallway with Adrien.

He looked concerned, so she silently showed him her phone.

Another text had come in, as it turned out.

Kagami: M. Agreste called my mother. She wishes to know the answer to the question from that reporter.

To her surprise, he quirked a cheeky grin, his eyes lighting up. “Oh, you should.”

He was going to be the death of her.

[tara-the-quiet-bookworm-2016]

Dance For Me (Traci! Kara x Human! Connor) (Chapter Four)

Authors Note- And here we are with Chapter Four of DFM. This is where things get serious, as our boy Connor gets a call about a homicide at the Eden Club aaaand... nope I say anymore and I’ll spoil the entire chapter before you even think of reading it. But I will let you know of any triggers in the story. In this chapter it will feature death, blood, and swearing courtesy of one Gavin Reed. If none of this is your cup of tea then this is where we part ways but I’ll remember our time fondly.

But if you’re cool with that then onward to Chapter Four, I hope you enjoy.

Chapter Four: Investigations.

Connor hated mornings, he thought as he stifled a yawn as he walked into the breakroom in desperate need of coffee. And maybe one of Hank’s donuts the older man kept hidden, especially from a certain someone who could enjoyed making Hank and on occasion Connor’s life miserable on a near daily occurrence. 

“So, the asshole tells me that if I don’t stop what I’m doing and leave the dick I’m trying to arrest alone he’s going to call the cops.” Connor tensed as he stepped into the room, and heard an all too familiar voice. Great, just what he didn’t want to deal with today...or any day.

Glancing further into the room he saw Gavin Reed leaning against the table talking with Tina, who listened raptly to whatever story the other Detective was going on about. Shaking his head Connor ignored the other man as he made his way towards the coffee machine.  “So I look to the guy like I can’t believe him and I reach into my pocket for my badge, and I’m like I am an cop you asshole. And if you don’t stop messing with me I’m going to arrest you too. And do you think the asshole took a hint and fucked off?” Gavin continued, seeming oblivious to Connor’s presence as he continued to talk.

Tina only shook her head. Coffee untouched in her hands as she listened to him. And as Connor waited for his coffee to brew he watched the two. Resting his hip on the counter, arms crossed over his chest as he listened. Wondering why anyone ever listened to any of Gavin’s crap. Like the man in question was a god among his peers, when in reality Gavin was nothing more than a slimy, miserable, asshole with a badge. Connor could recall more than a few occasions when he or Hank would butt heads with the other Detective. And Gavin wasn’t someone to back down, or pull punches, Connor recalled more than once how Gavin had pointed out that Hank was nothing more than a worthless Detective who cared more about getting shit-faced than doing his job as a cop. 

However, Connor had jumped to Hank’s defense and basically put Gavin in his place, earning the ire of the other Detective, remembering grey eyes glaring up at him as Gavin took a few steps towards him, hands balled into fists, but thankfully Captain Fowler had stepped out of his office to break up the impending fight, but ever since then Connor could always feel Gavin’s eyes on him, or having him bump into him whenever he walked past. And Connor, never being one to rise up to any challenges from Gavin ignored it, after all, what was the point it wasn’t like Gavin ever tried anything outside of the precinct anyways. And Connor worked too hard to get where he was to ruin it because of the man before him.

And, if he was being honest. Gavin wanted to rise up the ranks anyway, so why would he ruin any chances messing with Connor? So aside from a few incidents Connor had heard through the grapevine Gavin was all talk. Shaking his head Connor poured himself a cup of coffee, and headed back to the office. Taking a seat at his desk he wondered what today would have for him. Seeing that Hank wasn’t there he could only assume the older man was back home sleeping off last nights bender. Connor couldn’t help but smile as he imagined it, the older man no doubt past out on his couch, his massive, slobbering hound Sumo cuddled up next to the man.

Shaking his head, he booted up his computer and set about going to work. Looking up only once as Gavin walked past his desk to his own, propping his feet up on his desk as he leaned back in his chair before going about his own work. The computer screen illuminating the other mans face, making the scar across the bridge of his nose stand out more, Connor wondered if he had received it in one of his many fights, the man could never shut his mouth when it mattered, hence he got into more than a few fights. Hell, Connor thought as he turned back to his own computer, typing away. It seemed the man just reveled in chaos. 

Shaking his head Connor pushed those thoughts from his head as he set about working. Muttering a hello to Hank as the man plopped down at his desk in front of him. However it wasn’t long before Captain Fowler poked his head out of his office.

“Stern, Reed, in my office.” He called out.

Blinking Connor quietly got up from his seat and followed Gavin into the office, what was going on? Why did the captain call him and Gavin? Hank was usually his partner on most cases. Casting Hank a question look, the older man only shrugged his shoulders as Connor closed the door behind him. 

“Why did you call us in here?” Gavin asked, arms crossed over his chest.

Connor stood there with his hands clasped behind his back as he stood next to Gavin, awaiting what Fowler had to say to the both of them. 

“I’m assigning you both on a case.” Fowler said, hands steepled in front of him, Connor couldn’t believe his ears. What?

“What?!” Gavin spat, sounding incredulous. “You got to be fucking joking, right?!” He asked, placing his hands on the top of Fowler’s desk, meeting the Captains eyes. Looking for any sign this was all a joke, a fucked up one but a joke none the less.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” Fowler asked, leaning back in his seat. “There has been a murder at the Eden Club, the third one in a handful of months, and I want the two of you to investigate together.

“But I’m Hank’s partner he and I-” Connor started to protest.

“Hank has a few court hearings to attend to, otherwise you and him would be on this case.” Fowler cut off. 

“I can’t work with this asshole-” Gavin started, jabbing his finger at Connor, who merely scowled at him.

“Shut up, shut up, just shut your damn mouths!” Fowler shouted, silence falling over the room as the two young Detective’s shut up, looking to him.

Fowler sighed, he, like many people in the precinct knew of Connor and Gavin’s mutual dislike for each other. Hell, you’d have to be blind, deaf, and stupid not to see it. But he had no other choice, they were the only ones available for the case. 

“Look I know you two don’t like each other but I need you to get the fuck over yourselves and work on this together. There is no other option.” He said, as they looked down at him.

Finally it was Connor who broke the silence. “I understand, Captain.” He said with a nod. Gavin reluctantly agreed, Fowler watched as the two of them filed out of the office, when-

“Reed.” He called out, stopping Gavin in his tracks, making him look over his shoulder at his Captain. “I want you to know if this case goes well I will consider you request for promotion.”

Gavin’s heart skipped a beat at that. A smile formed on his lips as he nodded, fine. He could play nice with Connor until this case was over, once it was over he could kiss the cheerful little fucker goodbye, and make his way up the ladder to Lieutenant. Yeah, he could suck it up and deal with Connor for a little bit. Watching Connor grabbed his jacket off of the back of his chair he grabbed his own and shrugged it on before following after him. 

Silence continued to fall over the duo as Gavin slipped into the passenger seat, buckling up as Connor pulled out of the parking lot. “So,” Gavin started, as he peered out the window as the various buildings as they flew by. “What do you think happened?”

“What do you mean?” Connor asked. “There was a homicide.”

“Well, no shit.” Gavin spat, glaring at the man beside him. “Of course there was a homicide. But like what do you think happened?”

“We’ll find out when we get there.” Connor said.

Gavin sighed, and slumped down in his seat, saying nothing as the neon purple lights of the club came into view. Several patrol cars were parked outside the club, red and blue lights cutting through the night as the two Detective’s stepped out of the car. Gavin noted the coroners van was also here, waiting to take the body away. 

Standing perched outside the entrance were two police androids who stepped aside, allowing them in as Gavin looked around, a look of disgust on his face as he looked at the advertisements. “Sexiest androids in town?” he spat. “Man this club must be for losers who can’t get with real humans, I mean what’s the appeal?” he asked, as he stopped in front of one of the tubes, eyes scanning the dark skinned female android staring back at him seductively. A shiver running down his spine as he moved on. “Like they would rather fuck some emotionless doll who can’t feel anything than to disappoint a human or something.”

“You do realize we’re here to do a job, right?” Connor asked, looking to Gavin. “Not to question why people would frequent places like this?”

Gavin rolled his eyes as he moved to join Connor at the door that was marked off with crime scene tape. Gavin noted the manager stood dutifully by the door as Officer Chris Miller spoke with him. Gavin would have to get Connor to interview him when they were done here. 

Stepping into the room there were greeted by chaos, a table lay knocked over the lamp that once sat on it lay shattered on the floor. The bed its self was relatively untouched, but that wasn’t what drew their attention. In middle of the room lay the body of a man in his thirties, eyes staring up at them, mouth hanging open in a silent scream. Bruises formed on the mans neck indicating that he had been strangled. 

Gavin couldn’t help but chuckle as he crouched down beside the body, looking it over. Before looking up at Connor, a cruel smile on his lips. “So, what do you think?” he asked, gesturing to the body between them. “Think he forgot his safe word, and the plastic asshole got carried away?”

Connor scowled at his partner, as he crouched down on the other side of the body. “I think it’s more than that.” Connor said, picking up the victim’s hand in his gloved one he pointed to the bruises on the mans wrist. “Looks to me like our victim here got a little violent with one of the androids, and maybe it fought back.”

“Fought back?” Gavin parroted, looking up at Connor. “You mean the fucking thing went deviant?”

Connor worried at his bottom lip, and nodded. 

Gavin scoffed. “Well, if that’s the case then it seems our newly deviated android flew the coop, wouldn’t you agree? Though between you and me I think those assholes at Cyberlife need to do a better job at making sure these plastic pricks stay obedient to humans. None of this deviating and attacking humans bullshit. Mine ever starts acting up like that I’m using it as target practice.” Walking out of the room Gavin looked to Connor, as the other man stood up. “I’m going to look around, you talk to the manager. Maybe dickhead has an idea of what kind of android we’re looking for.”

Connor scowled at Gavin as the other man disappeared. But never less he did have a good point, pulling his notebook out of his jacket pocket he moved to where the manager was standing. 

“Evening Detective.” Chris greeted as he looked up as Connor approached. 

“Officer Miller.” Connor said, before turning to the manager.

Well, wasn’t this all peachy. The manager thought as he looked to the kid standing before him. Of all the cops that roamed around this stinkin’ city it had to be the one cop who frequented the Eden Club. Let alone the one that used the very android who killed their victim, and a guy he genuinely liked if he was being honest.

“What can you tell me about the victim?” Connor asked, straight to the point he liked that about the kid. 

He shrugged his shoulders, what was there to tell? The dead guy was like every other guy that came in here. Quiet, kept to himself, hell, the only problem he seemed to have was his tendency to constantly break some of his androids. Some of them so damaged they were beyond repair. And it seemed the kids favorite was going to be next until she deviated. 

“Not much, quiet guy, kept to himself. I think the only problem I had was him busting up a few of my androids.” He told him, watching as the kid scrawled something down in a worn leather notepad. 

Worrying at his bottom lip he looked around the floor, looking for any sign of that douche bag cop he was with, seeing no signs of him he placed a hand on Connor’s arm, making him look up at him. “Kid, I gotta say you got lucky, the android that did him in? The one you liked, the little blonde, plain looking one.”

The one he was going to trash in a few weeks, but the kid didn’t need to hear that. After all, when he did the kid would no doubt find himself a new favorite. “Looks like you dodged a bullet, kid. You could have been her victim.”

Was he hearing this right? Pen hovered above paper as he let the mans words sink in. Kara, she couldn’t, could she? Opening his mouth a few times he looked back at the scene, at the chaos before him. Could she have done this? Kill a human being like this? But then he recalled the managers words to him as the man walked off. The customer that was with Kara had a habit of breaking androids whenever he came here, maybe... she deviated to defend herself, to keep herself from being busted up.

Yes, that made sense, Connor told himself, as he tucked his notepad into his coat pocket once more. His eyes scanning the room, it all playing out for him in his head, Kara, sweet Kara fighting for her life against the bastard now laying dead on the floor. Kara, with fear in her eyes as the man advanced on her, until she wrapped her hands around his throat and squeezed. But the question on his mind now was, where was she now?

Could she be hiding in one of the rooms terrified about what was to come? Gnawing at his bottom lip Connor scanned the rooms, finding them empty, when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning around he came face to face with Gavin.

“Did you find anything?” Connor asked, as the door slid shut behind him.

“Yeah, pretty sure the android slipped out through the Employee’s Only door and is hiding out in the back, c’mon.” He said, jerking his thumb towards the door.

“How can you be so sure?” Connor asked, following after Gavin.

Opening the door, Gavin pointed to a blue smudge on the wall. “Looks like our android is bleeding. Left us a trail marker.” 

Connor looked to the blood, before turning to follow Gavin. She was hurt, she was bleeding. Connor thought as he followed Gavin into a large storeroom. Several androids stared at the two with lifeless eyes as the milled around the room. This would be a perfect place to hide, Connor thought as he peered in every corner. Seeing no sign of her, his gun in his hand as he moved throughout the room.

“It ain’t here.” Gavin spat, his lip curled as he scanned the android before him, hoping at least one of them would leap out and attack him. He had spent too much time here already, and having these freaking androids stare at him was making his skin crawl. Sighing Gavin turned towards the large door across from him and Connor, it lead to the back alley, it was the only place they hadn’t checked. And as far as Gavin knew it lead to a dead end. 

Opening the door the two peered out, a frustrated growl escaping Gavin’s lips as he found nothing, their suspect had escaped, leaving no sign of where they went. Gavin muttered a curse as he stamped his foot on the ground, frustrated as their case, something he thought would be open and close, something he thought would be easy just became a hunt of a deviant. As for Connor, he couldn’t be more relieved, though... worrying at his bottom lip he knew that now that she was out there things would be far from simple for Kara. As he turned to follow Gavin back into the club he silently wished Kara good luck where ever she was as he disappeared into the club.

***

She didn’t know how long she had been running for, she knew that since she had left the comfort of the club she had hid in the darkened alleys, keeping out of sight of prying eyes. Pain stabbed into her side as she continued to walk. Her systems constantly giving her warnings about her damaged biocomponents as she leaned against a grimy brick wall. The thin blanket she had managed to scrounge up in one of the dumpsters draped over her body, obscuring her from view, hiding the fact that she was a rogue Eden Club android roaming the streets unaccompanied. 

And now she had nowhere to go. Thunder rumbled overhead, indicating the coming storm that would be on her in moments, that was exactly what Kara needed after the day she had, sure she couldn’t get sick but who wanted to wander around soaked? Not her, she needed to find a place to stay, but with her damaged parts and the fact that she was obviously in dire need of blue blood that was easier said than done.

Blinking a few times Kara slumped against the wall, all energy sapped from her body, chin resting on her chest as exhaustion caught up with her. What was she going to do now? Where was she going to go? Kara didn’t have the answers as the darkness slowly rose up to swallow her whole, the blonde android slumping sideways to rest against a pile of garbage as she did so. 

Little did she now that as she lay there, she was being watched...

[aspernamentum]

✨ INTERVIEW.

RULES: DON’T REBLOG, REPOST.

✨ TAGGED BY: i think it was @dvrkestparadise ✨ TAGGING: i accidentally posted this and tagged a bunch of people i’m not following if ur seeing this im sorry xoxoxox

✨ MEET THE MUSE.

► NAME: Bruce Cage.  ► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➭   Does my fleshlight count? ‘Cos if it does, no, no I’m happily fuckin’ married.  ► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➭  How the hell could I be happy? I got the FBI, the CIA, the IRS all riding my ass, I’m dealing with international fuckin’ criminals and I don’t even own a goddamn car, how the hell could I possibly be happy? ► ARE YOU ANGRY?  ➭  Stuck somewhere between angry and horny, yeah.  ► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➭   Nah, ma’  ran away before I was born. You’re probably wondering how that’s possible -- y’know, the post office, they’ll post anything with a stamp on it. 

✨ NINE FACTS!

► ‘BIRTH’ PLACE ➭  The greatest Goddamn country on Gods green Earth, the United States of America.  ► HAIR COLOR ➭  Brown. ► EYE COLOR ➭  Blue ► BIRTHDAY ➭  5th of January ► MOOD ➭ Scared -- real scared. A lil’ horny though. ► GENDER ➭  I’m a guy.  ► SUMMER OR WINTER ➭  Winter. More clients, busier season.  ► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ➭ Afternoon.

✨ EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE!

► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ➭  Love? I did love this hooker for a while but she blocked me on Facebook, Twitter, Tinder, NeoPets, Club Penguin when it was still around, PSN, xbox live, LinkedIn and she sealed up her mailbox so, yeah. * ► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➭  Hell yeah I do, fall in love like eighty times a day. ► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➭  *Yeah, I think it was mutual y’know.  ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ➭  I don’t think so.  ► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➭ No, dude, last week I got this coupon and it runs out like, in two days time, that’s how commited I am. ► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ➭ I got this like, this -- this is gon’na sound dumb but like, sometimes I put my pillow over a gas burner and cuddle it.  ► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER?➭  If I did they were pretty fuckin’ secret ‘bout it. ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➭ Every morning when I look in the goddamn mirror. 

✨ SIX CHOICES!

► LOVE OR LUST ➭ Love but... Shit I need to get laid.  ► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ➭ Lemonade. It’s a better mixer. ► CATS OR DOGS ➭  Dogs. I had a labrador but my neighbor called animal cruelty because she reckoned I was drilling holes in her bathroom wall to peep on her. Which was bullshit, OK? She can’t prove anything.  ► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ➭  Just any friend would be a step up.  ► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN➭  I’m not really good at either.  ► DAY OR NIGHT  ➭  Day, but not morning. 

✨ FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS!

► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ➭ I once got caught sneaking out of court. Guy was totally boned and I had shit to do.  ► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ➭  I’m a walking accident, of course I’ve fallen down the stairs. ► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ➭  Not really man, I just want to exist. ► WANTED TO DISAPPEAR ➭  Hell yeah. 

✨  FIVE PREFERENCES!

► SMILE OR EYES ➭  Smile. ► FAT OR SKINNY ➭  Any port in a storm, am I right?  ► SHORTER OR TALLER ➭ I’m a short-ass - I like being able to look people in the eye. ► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ➭ Sexy beats brains any day.  ► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ➭  Any sort of physical contact would do, lets be real. 

✨ FAMILY!

► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ➭ They think I’m a ‘failure’ and that I’m ‘wasting my life’, that I’m ‘ugly’ and ‘smell bad’ and that I’ll ‘never amount to anything’ and that they ‘should’ve had an abortion’, I mean, shit, they’re right, but they don’t have to... Text me every single day to remind me. Y’know, sometimes my brother send me like, videos of him fucking his wife, him and his wife are both saying shit like ‘you’ll never get this, you’ll never get this’ then like the camera’ll pan around his beautiful mansion. Shits fucked. I tried to visit him once and he chased me with an entire hunting posse through the woods for like, a bad amount of time. But y’know what they say, blood’s thicker than wine or whatever.  ► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ➭  I wish I was dead a lot, so yeah.  ► HAVE YOU EVER RAN AWAY FROM HOME ➭ Didn’t even realize it was an option until very late in the game. ► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ➭  Yeah, my dad sat me down and he said, ‘son, i’m sick of peeling your impregnated socks off the floor, so I’ve changed the locks and your brother’s going to beat you out on the lawn.’, I tried sneaking out the back but my dad chucked like, this venomous snake at me, so I played dead ‘cos, y’know, fuck me right? So my brother came ‘round the back and started wailing on me, but luckily I managed to slip away unscathed. OK, I was a little scathed, I had to swing by the hospital to pick up some anti-venom but apart from that it was a good experience, y’know, moved out, stretched my legs. 

✨ FRIENDS!

► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ➭ I suppose Molly counts as a friend but she once blew ketamine in my face and pushed me out a window. I don’t hold it against her though, I did squeaze her booby.  ► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ➭  Hell no. ► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ➭ Jack was pretty nice to me before he got shot -- always used to bring me these mystery meats, and he wasn’t as much of a psycho as everyone else. He was a good guy.   ► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ➭  Uh, I dun’no, I think Jimmy has like a profile on me for blackmail purposes. When I suggested he do that, I didn’t mean he do it for me, but hey, that’s the business. 

[tanyaodebra]

You 2.4: “The Good, the Bad, & the Hendy” – A Finished Basement

Before I begin this episode’s recap, I want to give a hat tip to my friend Trina who explained that love and forty are the lowest and highest scores in tennis, respectively. I will never know a sports reference and I’m kind of offended they would sneak one into my program. You was originally slated to be on Lifetime, so our touchstones should be solely comprised of femme shit for an audience of gaydies! But to my original point, Love and Forty’s parents must really be assholes, because naming your kids after tennis is an outrage. They might as well have named them Standard and Poor. Also, whenever anyone is like, “aw, it’s so sweet that your name is Love, your parents must be hippies,” she has to be like, “actually, it means zero in tennis, because my parents are rude yuppies.” Eventually we’ll meet these parents, probably in some sort of vile display of their blood money.

Let’s crack this shit open, starting with the fellatio interruptus. Love is about to pour herself a cup of Joe when Forty calls. Instead of simply chatting real quick then getting back to the best part of waking up, Love decides to multitask. NEVER WOULD I EVER perform a sexual act of any kind while talking on the phone to my brother. Gross. And due to the magic of twindom, Forty clearly knows she’s hooking up with Joe in that very moment even though she’s been keeping their relationship secret. Double your pleasure, double your gross. Post coitus, Love discovers Joe’s telescope, pointing out that her apartment can be seen from it. The big bad wolf simply states the truth; all the better to spy on her with. Seems like she should have pushed the issue, but maybe she’s into being surveilled. Later on, Love delivers her own no-no, albeit not nearly as frightening as Peeping Joe’s – she springs a surprise meal with her friends on him. Forty initiates a brunchus interruptus and flips his shit about Love’s secret boyfriend. Joe decides the only way to keep Love happy is to keep Forty happy, so he pretends to go whole hog on the ménage à twin. Luckily Forty is a simple soul, so he easily accepts Joe’s writing, brunch and beach offerings.

Our teen queen reigns supreme, having discovered the spyware on her phone. But Ellie missteps, though she doesn’t realize it; she blames Delilah instead of Creepy Joe. No problem – Joe keep tabs on Ellie via Henderson’s jacktop instead. With a little help from Will, Joe busts into Hendy’s apartment and locates his trophies, a cigar box filled with Polaroids hidden under a loose tile in the sex dungeon. Then he pulls a classic dude move, which is to believe he knows more about a woman’s profession than she does. He plants Hendy’s photos at Delilah’s doorstep, assuming it’s all she needs to expose Henderson’s pedophilia. Wrong. According to her fuck-buddy cop (Danny Vasquez), the photos have no context, especially since Delilah doesn’t want to out herself as one of Hendy’s survivors. In white-knighting a capable woman, he’s royally fucked up the whole operation. Joe’s sexism led him here. Had he trusted Delilah to do her job herself, perhaps Henderson would have faced the consequences his actions deserved. Instead Hendy got some bullshit vigilante punishment, which is a deeply unsatisfying ending for his victims.

I’m not ashamed to admit when I am wrong, and I was definitely wrong about Henderson’s fate. Creepy Joe does not have the self-awareness to understand how similar he is to Hendy – how he, too, stalks, grooms, drugs, abducts, and takes trophies. Joe believes that because he doesn’t rape, he is somehow better than Henderson. They are both total fucking scum, but one rapes and the other murders. One of these things is way worse than the other, and if you believe rape is worse, you might be a sexist monster. Henderson uses his celebrity to lure Ellie, the teen Joe is stalking, to his rape pad. Joe has already broken into Hendy’s house when Ellie arrives, so he’s able to witness Henderson’s slick technique to manipulate Ellie into practically forcing her way into his place whilst all but guaranteeing she’ll never tell anyone she was ever there. It’s painful to watch Ellie; I never listened to the older women in my life when I was her age even though they were right and I was wrong. She makes every classic mistake: hanging out alone, staying late, and accepting a beverage. She thinks they’re friends. She has never come into contact with such a good liar before. She hasn’t yet learned that no amount of cool, smarts, humor, or good taste will stop a predator. She doesn’t know how charming predators can be. Just like Joe, Hendy is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. A scotch for himself and a juice for the young lady makes Henderson seem like the perfect gentleman – until the GHB comes out. Joe creates a distraction so he can drug Hendy’s scotch, too. Once Ellie and Hendy are out for the count, Joe sets up shop in the sex basement. When Hendy comes to, he’s been blindfolded and tied to a chair. Wearing a Hendy mask, Joe attempts to force a confession from Henderson, but Henderson isn’t a dummy. He tells Joe about having been molested as a kid, and says he can tell Joe went through something similar. He tries again and again to draw parallels between the two of them, but Joe won’t have it. Henderson manages to knock over the chair and escape, but only briefly. As Henderson runs up the stairs, Joe grabs him and flings him back down the stairs, accidentally smashing his head against the cement wall. Hendy is dead.

The clean-up for this little mishap is very messy. A little blood drips out of Joe’s nose, but before he can clean it up, the robotic vacuum is taking a crack at the puddle under Hendy’s head, which mixes their blood together. Joe does his best to mitigate the mixing by mopping the edges to make a smaller blood-pool, and he dashes off with the plasma-soaked robo-vac as well as Hendy’s headphones. Is jay-walking a big deal in LA? As a New Yorker, I definitely wouldn’t have known this and neither did Joe, because he gets nabbed on the way to the dumpster with a trash bag full of evidence. Oh-oh. The cop is Delilah’s fuck-buddy. Joe gets a little reprieve when the cop looks no further than the top of the bag where Hendy’s limited-edition headphones rest. Joe, claiming everything was going to Goodwill anyway, offers them up to the officer, who accepts and cuts Joe loose. Hopefully those headphones will come in handy later.

Back in the secret room of Joe’s own earlier in the episode, Will negotiates his severance package. Will promises to flee to the Philippines, never to speak of any of this again. But how can Joe possibly believe him? Once again, Will attempts to prove his loyalty by assisting Joe – this time by disabling Hendy’s security system. He tries to get Joe to see that killing Henderson is an act of a deeply disturbed person, telling Joe that he’s confident he won’t kill Hendy, because he’s not a bad guy. He’s definitely smarter than I originally gave him credit for, because he plays on Joe’s need to be perceived as being and doing good. And after Joe kills Hendy, he’s pretty desperate to prove to himself and to Will that being a killer does not preclude him from being a good guy. Joe takes Will’s advice and does the one thing that will prove that he’s good – he releases Will. Is Will really going to be so content with freedom that he doesn’t turn Joe in? Sounds like Will has some pretty shady shit in his past, so it’s possible he doesn’t want this kind of heat. Maybe he’ll just slink out of the country in order to avoid the spotlight of a high-profile court case. But what name will he use now? How will he deal with the consequences of identity theft? Maybe Will won’t go gently into that good night after all. We’ll just have to wait and see.

This episode also has a series of dreams and flashbacks about Joe’s childhood. Looks like dad’s a beater and mom’s a cheater. After mom takes a four-hour “date” when she’s supposed to be grocery shopping, Joe winds up on the receiving end of dad’s ire. Mom rewards Joe for keeping her secret, and she promises Joe that one day she’ll kill his father. I’m relieved the audience won’t be able to simply heap all the blame on the mother, and I’m curious to see where this is going.

When I saw Ambyr Childers’ name in the top-of-show credits I knew we were in for a fun time, and luckily I had forgotten all about it by the end. Joe sends Forty to SXSW Pitch in order to extricate him from Love’s time and immediate vicinity. This move backfires when Love hops a plane in order to be Forty’s sober companion. While in Austin, Forty makes a romantic connection and insists that he and Love need to get a third plane ticket to bring this woman back to LA. Is this a ghost I see before me? No. It’s Candace. Or, rather, Amy. So, it looks like Candace is indeed alive and well and not just a figment of Joe’s imagination. I am not totally ruling out a collaboration between Love and Candace, but it’s looking more unlikely now that Forty’s in the crosshairs. I cannot wait to see what this bitch is up to. See You next time!

[r-herring]

TRFL Chapter 12 in GIFs

TRFL Chapter 12 AKA The 8th Level of Hell Chapter (Chapter 11 was the 9th level, obvs) Huh. Actually, the Much Fluffier Than Expected Chapter.

*Walks in late to the party* “Sorry, guys. I was held up at wo���”

Sooo…These Tumblr reactions sure are interesting, @adreamingsongbird. 

*Opens Chapter 12* Let’s see what’s cooking in the latest installment of Rimi’s Inferno TRFL. *Braces self*

~~Let us begin under the cut!~~

Notes: Warning for some violence and dark themes (related to blood magic) this chapter.

We’re off to a good start. My inner angst glutton will be well fed today.

Also, dark blood magic! Will I finally get my questions about Mysterious He/Him Pronouned Blood Mage™ answered?

We open in Hinomoto, where everyone is understandably pissed and possessing of various degrees of self-restraint.

^Above: The first scene of TRFL Chapter 12 reenacted with Timon in the role of Sister!Mari and Pumba in the role of Crown Princess!Mari. The inner struggle is real.

When Yuuri gets home, she’s gonna ruffle his hair and take him to go sit out on the beach for a while.  He’ll probably cry—darling little Yuuri has always cried so easily—but he’ll feel better, after a little while.  And there’s always a place for him here, in his home court.  He’ll just pick up where he left off almost a year ago.

Mari’s opinion, sans knowledge of 16000-ish words of character development for Yuuri.

 Something just doesn’t add up here.  Either Yuuri was wrong about Nikiforov loving him, or there’s more to this story.  Mari isn’t sure which of these things she’s more inclined to believe, but she thinks she’s leaning toward the former. 

Yuuri has always been a romantic; he might’ve just been seeing what he so desperately wanted to be true.

I just hope they believe Yuuri when he shows up back home asking for Minako’s help—assuming she knows more about philology than Yuuri. Or maybe her wife does? New character! Yay! Anyway, I just assumed they’d take him at his word that something is afoot in Ruthenia and the only barrier to a potential rescue op are the dangers associated with interfering in the business of a foreign court, but now I’m not so sure…

“I guess,” Mari says.  “I mean, if he needs saving, someone’s gotta do it.”

I get this is totally big sister protectiveness, but—so little faith in Yuuri’s ability to save himself (and others)! 

Yuri Plisetsky is, to put things lightly, going to go kick his cousin’s ass all the way to fucking Jupiter and back with a steel-toed boot.

 Everyone’s gunning for poor Viktor.

“I can’t tell you,” Viktor says immediately.  He sighs, raking a hand through his hair, but it runs into his crown, and he sighs again, weary, as he reaches up to adjust it back into place.

“You couldn’t tell Katsudon, either,” Yuri snorts.  “That’s ridiculous.  Who can you tell, then?”

“Nobody,” Viktor says. 

Viktor, finding sneaky ways around the block. To bad Yuri has no idea how literal Viktor’s statement is.

“He deserves far more than that,” Viktor agrees.  He looks like he’s going to launch into another stupid sappy monologue about how wonderful Katsudon is, like he used to all the time, except … he doesn’t. 

 Huh, Yuri realizes.  Guess he’s never gonna text me like that again.

As much as he wants to pretend that that’s a relief, it really just leaves him feeling cold inside.

Me too, Yuri. Me too.

Ever since his aunt’s death, the palace has felt like a prison, full of pressure and eyes everywhere.  Yuri hates being Crown Prince.

Lots of pressure. Lots of eyes. Lots of ears. Be careful, Yuri! I do wonder if Ivanovich will try and start the process of ‘winning’ Yuri over to their side (good luck with that) before he leaves to visit Otabek. So far, Yuri’s oblivious and, after Yuuri, he’s the one with the most pieces to the puzzle. I mean, the second Yuuri has a relatively calm moment around Viktor—if he gets one—he’s going to figure it out. But if he doesn’t get that moment, it’s on Yuri.

Also, I thought reading ‘King Nikiforov’ was weird. Reading Crown Prince Yuri is also weird. Their new titles are going to take some getting used to.

“You didn’t answer my questions or give me anything I came in here for,” Yuri points out, scowling at him again.  There’s no anger behind it this time, though.  This is just… what’s familiar.  Viktor is cold, and Yuri provides heat.  It’s their own endless cycle, going for years and years.  In some way, Yuri knows that Viktor is aware that his gestures of ire are actually communicating fondness.  Sort of.  Kind of.  In a way, mind you.

All in all, Viktor is just a constant in his life.  It’s jarring, seeing him like this again after how happy he looked just a few weeks ago, but at least this is a Viktor Yuri knows how to deal with.

“No,” Viktor hums softly, pen already scritch-scritching away at his papers again in a clear dismissal.  “I suppose I didn’t.”

Yuri closes the door much more quietly on his way out.

…And he’s leaving. Packing. The tea set isn’t coming home with him, though.  He’s leaving it for Viktor, as… as something to remember him by.  After everything, Yuuri just… he just really hopes Viktor doesn’t forget about him.

 Yuuri: “I’ll never forget ‘em. But he forgot me a long, long time ago.”

 Viktor:

You know it’s getting angsty when I pull out the Jurassic Bark references.

 He shakes his head to himself.  Something just feels… wrong. That entire conversation, that night, it felt wrong, too, and not just because of how desperately he didn’t want it to be happening. The heavy, nauseating terror of the badwrongbad feeling is still there, hanging oppressively through the palace, and it has only gotten stronger since the Queen’s death, if anything. 

Which makes Yuuri not only sad but also very, very suspicious. 

So close!!! You’ve almost got it, Yuuri! He just needs some Viktor contact with a relatively calm mind and it’ll click. I believe in our Katsudon!

Oh, to hell with this.  He’s leaving soon enough. He might as well just go try, one last time. Do you trust me? Viktor asked, that night, that awful night, and Yuuri’s answer, heartwrenching as it feels to admit, has not changed. I do.

YEEEESSS!!! This is also very sad. BUT ALSO YES!

I still love him, he thinks to himself, weary and sad.  And the pain Viktor has felt every time they’ve been together now, well… Yuuri is pretty sure Viktor still loves him, too.  The more he thinks about this, today now that he’s past the initial shock and panic and turmoil, the less comfortable he feels!  Something is so clearly, obviously wrong.  Viktor needs him.  Especially now with Georgi and Yuri leaving for a while—why the hell is Yuuri leaving, too?

That settles it, really.  He has to go talk to Viktor again.  Something has to be wrong.  He’s not just making this up to make himself feel better about being unwanted, about not being good enough after all.  That’s his anxiety talking, right?  Right.  Of course. 

He was trying his hardest to support Viktor, and he thought it was working, and sure, maybe he was neglecting himself in the process and that’s why he just broke down and didn’t think to ask more than “why?” that night, but… but they were good together, they were!  He’s sure of it.

Oh, Yuuri.

…unless that niggling little voice of doubt in the back of his mind is right, and there’s something even more wrong than he feared here, but he has to admit he doesn’t really want to entertain that possibility. 

ENTERTAIN THAT POSSIBILITY, YUURI! ENTERTAIN THE SHIT OUT OF THAT POSSIBILITY.

Yes.  Yes, okay.  That’s the plan.  Go to Viktor, have a calm talk, understand, leave.  And hope that next time, if there is a next time, will go better.  He might get married off to someone else entirely, if the alliance completely falls apart, as it well may.  He doesn’t know if… he doesn’t know if he could fall in love with someone else the way he loved—loves—Viktor, but he could certainly strive for a functional, working relationship.

One last talk with his Vitya.

Damn…

Alright.  One last talk with—

One last talk with King Nikiforov.

And I thought ‘King Nikiforov’ sounded strange before. It’s downright wrong coming from Yuuri.

“His Majesty isn’t available,” one of the guards says.  Yuuri sighs, idly wondering whether it’s just his paranoia or if the guards feel like the general Petersburg Palace off-putting vibe, and turns.

“Why not?” he asks, raising one eyebrow delicately.  Viktor is in his chambers, he can tell, and it seems like someone’s in there with him.  The fact that it’s someone with an emotional shield up makes him suspicious—Ivanovich is one of the only people in the court who does that.  His shield seemed lackluster a while ago, but it’s tightened again, and Yuuri can’t help but wonder why. 

Oh boy… here we go. Ivanovich uses an emotional shield confirmed! I’m going to guess that Ivanovich’s emotional shield is stronger now because he doesn’t have to use a translator spell to communicate with Viktor.

“I just want to talk to him.  I know I’m missing something here, and I want him to tell me what.”

Good luck with that, Yuuri. I think you’ll find him quite mum on the subject.

I have a feeling it’s Lord Ivanovich, he wants to say, but he can’t say that in front of Prince Altin without revealing that he’s an empath, and while Altin has Yuri’s vote of confidence, Yuuri is still leery of divulging that particular little tidbit unnecessarily. 

Bhahaha. Poor Otabek, the unwitting plot device. Will Yuuri get time to tell Yuri what he knows?

Oh, to hell with being a good prince.

Huh. I thought for sure the first time I finally broke and used a Frozen-related GIF it’d be for Viktor, you know, the ice prince. Guess not. 

“Like hell you are!” Viktor snarls, and there’s a thud, as if he just slammed a cup down onto his desk.  Yuuri flinches reflexively.  “You call what you did to—”

Confusion slams into Viktor like a freight train, or a tsunami, wiping everything clean from his mind and washing it into a turbulent sea.  He’s left grasping for driftwood, strains of thought swirling this way and that, and Yuuri, frozen outside the door with wide, wide eyes is left reeling. 

This—this happened to Viktor the night they broke up, but in his distress, he didn’t recognize it for what it was.  But now he sees it and feels it and knows it, and he cannot breathe.

A philological chokehold.  A stranglespell, as Minako-sensei called them. 

Oh my god.

“Prince Katsuki is going home,” Viktor hisses, his voice raw and angry and hurt, and Yuuri’s heart twinges painfully in his chest.  “He’s going home, and you won’t fucking touch him.”

“Such foul language, Your Majesty,” Ivanovich observes.  His voice hardens.  “I warned you not to try and get in my way, Viktor.  I told you that I was willing to work with you on certain things.  That you could keep your title and your palace, so long as we do what is best for Ruthenia.  You let your emotions cloud your judgment.  Think objectively, if you will, of what you just lost for us.  You and all your hardheaded spontaneous thinking… do you even realize what an opportunity we had?”

“An opportunity,” Viktor bites out.  “Accusing an innocent man of murder is not what I would call an opportunity, Alexei.”

An innocent…

Yuuri’s head starts to spin.  Or rather—it continues to spin, speeding up on the way.  Stranglespell.  Innocent.  Promised to protect me—oh god, oh god, oh god, Vitya, what have you done—

YEEEESSSS!!! OUR KATSUDON HAS SEEN THE LIGHT!!! CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH?!

“I think we have a surprise visitor,” he says, sounding dangerously displeased.

Okay, I don’t think Ivanovich’s hearing is good enough to pick up on heavy breathing through a wall. So how the heck did he know Yuuri was there? Is he a relatively unskilled empath (only picks up on very strong emotions, i.e., Yuuri’s panic at his discovery) in addition to a likely…Philologist? Did I spell that right? Veeeery suspicious indeed.

Ivanovich is a philologist.  Ivanovich put a stranglespell on Viktor.

Ahaha, literally 100-ish words later, I get my answer (and a reminder on the correct spelling)! It’s like you can read minds, Rimi.

^Me @ Rimi

Still waiting on Mysterious He/Him Pronouned Blood Mage™ though. It’s driving me nuts!!!

Logically, Yuuri knows that even though he hasn’t the faintest idea of how to cast, manipulate, or lift stranglespells on his own and that they are very complex and that he would need to do a lot of work and research to be able to help Viktor, his own mental blocks will keep him safe from having a stranglespell put on him. 

Logic is flimsy protection against anxiety, and he’s terrified anyway.

“Hmm… no, no.  I think I’m done here, anyway,” Ivanovich says, smiling thinly as he turns away.  It doesn’t reach his eyes.  “But thank you for your courtesy, Your Highness.  It suits you.  I wish you all the best for your trip back to Hinomoto tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri says, and he keeps his eyes on the man’s back until he’s gone.  The door closes with a loud thud behind him.

Assuming I’m onto something with the “Ivanovich’s empathetic shield is weaker when he’s around Yuuri b/c he has to use a universal translator spell and he’s not that skilled of an empath to use Yuuri’s technique” theory, then his shield should be weaker here BUT YUURI IS TOO PANICKED TO PICK UP ON IT DAMN IT ALL ASDFGHJKL.

Wait, wait. It just occurred to me in a complete facepalm moment—If Ivanovich can use a shield, he at least knows some empathic magic. Yuuri himself said his blocks are solid; he can’t get through them like Yuri’s. Granted, I don’t think he’s been calm enough around Ivanovich yet to try. So, Ivanovich could very easily know enough empathetic magic to sense Yuuri’s panic behind the door. Probably not with Yuuri’s level of refinement, but enough to be a danger. Enough to know that Yuuri knows. Shit. Hopefully he just thinks Yuuri is panicking over Viktor? But the timing of said panic is a bit too suspicious and Ivanovich is no idiot.

Finally, they are alone. Here comes the angst. Wait…

IS THIS… WHAT I THINK IT IS?!

Viktor’s arms fold around him, and it’s just like it always is.  His hugs are strong and comforting and warm, and he still feels like home.  Yuuri starts to cry harder as Viktor buries his face in his hair, holding him tightly.

“I’m going to miss you, too,” he whispers.  “I really… oh, Yuuri.  I’m so sorry.  I’m so sorry for all of this.”

“I d-don’t want to leave you,” Yuuri sobs.  “I don’t—I don’t want to.  I l-love you, Vitya, I’m so, I’m so sorry for pushing you away—”

^Yuuri, in summary. (I’m really feeling the 10GIFs tonight.)

 NO WAY…

“I love you so much,” Viktor whispers fiercely.  “I love you so, so much, Katsuki Yuuri.  Whatever happens tomorrow and every day after that, just—please, please never doubt that.”

“For what?” Yuuri asks, shaking his head.  He closes his eyes, laying his hand over Viktor’s, and just shakes his head again.  He’s been so unfair, stewing and wallowing in his own despair all day when he could have spent it with Viktor, knowing that if tomorrow morning must come at least they could’ve had today together.  His world has been shaken, rocked to its core, and he feels so horrible for all his cold looks and chilly words.  Vitya, Vitya, his poor Vitya, all alone, just trying to—to save an innocent. To save him. Again.

“For letting me say a proper goodbye,” Viktor answers, and Yuuri opens his eyes again to see that Viktor’s are closed.  He trembles in Yuuri’s arms, trying not to break down himself, and Yuuri sends him a burst of lovelovelove, desperately wanting to chase the sadness away.  Viktor opens his eyes again.  “For—for giving me another chance.  For not hating me for this.”

THIS IS…FLUFF?!  IT’S FLUFF!

I mean, it’s kinda angsty fluff and Viktor is still being a very stubborn, noble, and self-sacrificing idiot, but it’s fluff! Completely unexpected fluff and I am living.  

I am going to refrain from quoting this entire scene—even though I really want to—because this is getting ridiculously long. In summary: it’s all adorable and I’m glad our royal dorks were able to reconcile before they have to (temporarily) separate. Granted, this means that the primary source of angst is now going to come from an external source rather than miscommunication. Yay? I am going to refrain from ‘guessing’ what will happen here because I was given a tiny spoiler, so I already (in a very vague sense) know and that’d ruin the whole play-by-play comment style. I digress, moving on… We also get the following tidbits of info: 1) philological blocks do not catch implication, 2) Duchess Baranovskaya and Duke Feltsman were threatened and are being sent away too, and 3) Yuuri now knows for certain that the Queen’s death was foul play.  Whoo!

Why is he breaking up with Yuuri now?  He needs Yuuri, they can all see it!  Yuuri was so good for him!  The grief excuse doesn’t make sense.  Not to her, anyway.  She knows him better than that.  And that tidbit she overheard a while ago… about wanting to keep Viktor off the throne?  Obviously, it never came to fruition, but it still makes her uneasy.

And Mila is so close too. Nobody has all the puzzle pieces but they’re all getting so close and it’s so frustrating. Yuuri is closest, but he’s leaving tomorrow. Ugh. As much as I want to see Mila and Sara being adorable, please don’t leave Mila!!! Not yet!

“I know you’re my beautiful, selfless, amazing babe, but listen to me.  You need to rest.  And I’m not just saying this because I’m biased and I want you here.  I just think you need a break from court.  You need to get away for a while, and go back feeling refreshed.  You’ll probably be way better at supporting him if you do that!  Even if it’s just a few days!  He can survive without you for a week!  So please, please take care of yourself too, and if you won’t quite do that, then get over here so I can do it for you.  Okay?”

And Sara is right. They can’t support Viktor individually without neglecting themselves and burning out (I’m looking at you, Yuuri). Viktor needs his entire support network; too bad he’s a self-sacrificing idiot.

Yes, she feels really bad for Viktor, but she has to admit at least part of this mess is of his own making—breaking up with Yuuri right after becoming king?  Okay… sure, Your Majesty—and she does want some time off.

“Hey,” Mila says, smiling at her through her hair.  “Thank you for talking sense into me.”

My feelings are very mixed. You guys are adorable and deserve all the happiness in the world but don’t leave, Mila!!!

“Oh, well, you know me,” Sara says airily.  “I’m here for transparency and clarity, not cover-ups and conspiracies.”

Ha!

“Oh, right, of course,” Sara laughs that merry, tinkling laugh again.  “Take your time, sweetie, I’m definitely not in a rush to get rid of you.”

If I didn’t know you were such a MilaSara fan, I’d be worried. This entire scene is starting to sound kinda ominous, tbh. But Sara is Sara and Vespuccia gains nothing from getting rid of Yuuri or Viktor—especially Viktor, if they want that trade agreement. 

Phichit!!! Shadow-jumping sounds like a fun ability. Also, still low-key wondering about that dagger and its affect on Phichit. So many questions about shadow magic…

The exception is the medical building, which was designed to be run by a blood mage and sits at the heart of the compound.

Possibly a blood mage for hire? Maybe? I feel like I’m stretching here. Hell, I know I am stretching here because Rani, the resident blood mage, is female. BUT. I. WANT. TO. KNOW. DAMN. IT.

There is a faint light blinking in the room, though, and curious, he walks toward it.  It’s the notice board, he realizes.  There must be a new contract posted.

Uh oh… my Spidey senses are tingling.

Just as he suspected, there is indeed a new contract notification, up for grabs should any of the assassins want to take it.  It’s very new, actually, he realizes—the timestamp says it was only just processed a little over an hour ago.  He might be the first one of them to see it.

An hour? Shit. It’s gonna be Yuuri, isn’t it? I am 90-ish% sure now that Ivanovich has enough empathetic skill to pick up that Yuuri knows. He already survived one assassination attempt, but now he really is a dead man walking.

Wait.  On the note of seeing something—oh, whoops, haha.  He winces as he abruptly remembers he’s forgotten to text Yuuri back. 

Is that ominous music I hear? Whelp, that pretty much settles it.

He can’t just resign on a whim, although… after everything Yuuri and his family have done for him in the past, there aren’t a lot of things he wouldn’t do for Yuuri.

Yeah…

He skims it quickly—it’s political, apparently someone “knows too much” about someone else’s scheming.  Textbook assassination case.

Okay, so Ivanovich is definitely an empath—probably not that skilled, but definitely an empath.

Confirm, it reads.  Phichit Chulanont, do you accept the contract to assassinate Second Prince of Hinomoto Katsuki Yuuri?

Phichit’s hand shakes as he selects yes.

You gave us a lot of clues that it was coming, and you’d think that’d soften the blow, but damn. This passage had gravitas.

“No,” Viktor mumbles, hitting snooze.  He wraps his arms around Yuuri again, locking him firmly against his chest, and buries his face in his neck.  “Not yet.”

Same, Viktor. Same.

Viktor’s fingers brush his cheek, tender and soft, and then his hand is cradling Yuuri’s jaw as his thumb strokes his cheekbone with gentle wonder, as if he’s in awe that Yuuri is here, in his bed.

“I should be thankful,” he says, voice low and rough.  “You gave me one last night together.  But all my selfish heart can do is wish for one more day, too.”

He doesn’t say it’s my fault we don’t have one.  He doesn’t say it, but it’s written in his eyes as plain as the day that’s dawning, and a dull, painful ache settles deep within Yuuri’s chest.

THERE’S THE ANGST! I’d quote their entire conversation if I wasn’t currently sitting at 3805 words. In summary: I HAD A SAD. VIKTOR, LET YUURI—AND EVERYONE ELSE—HELP YOU, DAMN IT.

“My idiot,” Yuuri says instead, letting the ghost of a smile flicker across his lips. 

 His smile is beautiful. It’s also heartwrenchingly, achingly sad.

“Not anymore,” he whispers back.

 Ffff—

Viktor still smells like comfort and warmth and home.  Yuuri has been desperately trying not to think about how he’s going to miss pressing himself into Viktor until the lines between them melt away, about how he’s going to have to get used to sleeping alone again, or about how Viktor’s scent will slowly fade from every single article of Yuuri’s clothing that spent time in his closet.

Why is this paragraph so sad?! Out of everything this is so subtle!sad. It’s like being clocked with a hammer wrapped in a soft cloth.

“I’ll, um.  I’ll be back.  For breakfast,” he says, and without waiting for a response, he scrambles away from Viktor, barely retaining the presence of mind to leave through the passage through Yuri’s room, which is where the guards saw him enter and didn’t see him leave.

(Ivanovich saw him in Viktor’s rooms, he realizes.  But hopefully Ivanovich and the guards don’t exchange gossip.)

Oh, this won’t end well for Viktor. Not at all.

He’s going to go home and learn everything he can about philology.  And then he’s going to come back here and take this damn castle apart brick by brick if he has to.  And then he’s going to save Viktor Nikiforov and prove to him once and for all that he can, and should, rely on the people around him.  And then he’s going to kiss him senseless and figure out the rest from there.

(That’s what he’s telling himself to cope, anyway.)

Yuuri lets out a watery laugh and pulls the boy into a tight hug, nuzzling his face into his hair.  “I promise I will call you as soon as I get home tonight, Yura,” he says as Yuri goes from stiff as a board to clinging tighter than an octopus.

“You better!” he insists, pressing his face into Yuuri’s chest.  “You better!”

[And Yuri made sure to remind us of that knife. Hmmm.]

Viktor goodbye was sad, Mila goodbye was sad, Yuri goodbye was sad, and MAKKACHIN?! Really, you’re going there? I feel attacked.

Target:  Katsuki Yuuri, second prince of Hinomoto, former fiancé of King Nikiforov of Ruthenia.  Noted to be of a skittish disposition; tends to avoid very public places unless accompanied by one or more close companions.  Death should preferably not be able to be traced back to shadow magic.  Must be eliminated before rendezvousing with members of Hinomoto’s royal family or attendants thereof.  Travelling companions should also be eliminated, if possible, but Katsuki is the prime target.

Ivanovich really wants to ruin that alliance, doesn’t he? And Yuuri knows way too much.

He stays outside with her for a few more minutes, but time marches relentlessly onwards, and he really needs to get going—it’ll take him a few hours to shadow-phase his way to Hinomoto, and he… needs to be in good fighting condition when Yuuri arrives.

Who’s he going to be fighting when he fails to assassinate Yuuri? Or will they stage a death? So many questions. All I know is shits about to go down!

Also, Phichit is a saint and best friend ever.

“And… if we want to keep our jobs, we can’t refuse to uphold it,” Leki continues.  Pain flashes through his eyes, and Rani lets out a soft oh.

“I know,” Phichit says.  He lets out a soft sigh, raking a hand through his hair.  “I… I know.  I don’t blame you at all.  Family comes first.”

“I know,” he says.  “I know.  If we do have to fight each other, I don’t expect you to go down easy.  Either of you.  Just don’t expect me to, either.”

So other shadow guild members will come after Phichit. He’s got quite a tough battle ahead of him. Potentially against his friends, too. He’s sacrificing so much for Yuuri. Did I mention that Phichit is a saint? It can’t be said enough.

Back to Viktor and… Tchaikovsky mood music.

He’s going to finish reading through this damn page about possibilities of Vespuccian access to Ruthenian waterways…

I can’t imagine those are Ivanovich approved.

And god, does he love Yuuri too.  Even if they’ll never be together again.

“One day, my darling,” he murmurs to himself, “I hope you meet someone who adores you as I do.  You deserve all the love in the world.  I hope you can be happy.”

*Softly* Don’t.

Which means that Ivanovich must now know that there is a passage that lets out in Viktor’s rooms, if he didn’t before.

Explicitly stated twice. Yeah, that’s not a good sign.

Ivanovich knows that Yuuri knows, though, his thoughts whisper, and Viktor bites his lip to avoid hissing out a swear even though nobody is around to see.  He’s worried.  What if—what if Ivanovich tries to send someone after Yuuri again and this time Viktor isn’t there to save him?

Wait, how does Viktor know that Ivanovich knows that Yuuri knows? Or is he just assuming that Ivanovich assumed Yuuri overheard. (Wow, those are some awkward sentences. Sorry. It’s late.)

Why haven’t the guards closed the door behind Ivanovich?  Sure, nobody’s awake or around, but it’s odd.

Viktor has spent too much time around Yuuri. Trust your instincts, Viktor! At least he can summon his ice quickly?

“To let you know that I have conferred with my comrades, and we have agreed that your recent behavior makes you unfit to be our figurehead king,” Ivanovich says. 

Oh dear… this isn’t gonna end well for Viktor. How many times have I said that this chapter? I feel like a broken record. Viktor is clearly having a very, very bad day.

And he’s already on his guard.

Better late than never? Granted, Viktor knows that Ivanovich isn’t the type to launch a physical attack. He’s more the type for subterfuge and conspiracy, and Viktor was definitely on guard for that. But—the door is open, Viktor. It’s not just you and Ivanovich.

Ivanovich hesitates at the doorway, turning to look back over his shoulder, silhouetted against the light from the hallway.  “I… didn’t want it to come to this,” he says.  “You may not believe me, but I… I am sorry, Viktor.”

The door closes with a thud. 

A figure melts from the shadows.

Oh, Viktor thinks.  And then, Fuck.

Unfortunately for Viktor, it looks like Ivanovich and co. learned their lesson, stopped pinching pennies on bargain basement thugs, and hired a proper assassin.  

“I don’t really care,” the assassin says, raising the dagger again, and their voice has a good enough command of Ruthenian that he’s pretty sure they must be a native speaker, from the Ruthenian guild.  Interesting.  “They just need your blood, and lots of it.”

A native Ruthenian. Interesting indeed. Info. filed away for later. Also, what exactly are they going to do with Viktor’s blood if they’re planning on incapacitating him?

He intends to summon a huge, crashing wave of ice, blocks and icicles and spears like he did in the alleyway with Yuuri.  He intends for this to absolutely decimate his study and pin the assassin down, preventing them from moving, not one inch.  He intends to freeze everything solid.

Instead, a thin sheen of frost coats the carpet, a few icicles lurch into existence and melt almost immediately, soaking everything in cold water, and the swords fall from his hands as he stumbles to his knees, struck by a sudden wave of intense magical exhaustion, the kind that he shouldn’t be feeling at all, not yet.  He knows his limits, dammit, and this wasn’t it.  Panic punches him in the gut.  What’s happening to him?

“What,” he gasps hoarsely, vision swimming, “have you done to me?”

The assassin slowly walks toward him, dagger still held in a guard position.  “Highly concentrated elemental inhibitors in your bloodstream,” is the answer, though he can barely hear it for the roaring in his ears.

AND THERE IS THE DAMN ELEMENTAL MAGIC INHIBITOR. I was wondering when it’d make it’s appearance and result in Viktor having a Very Bad Day™. Looks like today is that day.

I feel like I should conclude somehow, but it is getting late and I am ready to get off this rollercoaster of feels and go to sleep. That being said, this chapter was... surprisingly fluffy? It had angst, sure, but compared to chapter 11 it was almost hopeful? Except for Viktor giving up on his own happiness and wishing Yuuri a happy future full of love with someone else. That broke me. That and the Viktor getting knocked out bit. Okay, so Viktor had a bad day, but it was still much better than Chapter 11! I wonder what Ivanovich and co. are planning on doing with his blood. If he won’t be a figurehead king anymore, what use is it? Also, I’m sure they will utilize their new knowledge of the passageway into Viktor’s study, but how? Can’t wait to find out!

^ Rimi, after unleashing this chapter on an unsuspecting fandom.

But really, it was much lighter than expected? Somehow? You know, I’m not gonna question it. I’ll just be thankful. Thank you, Rimi, for not completely ripping out our hearts this time. This chapter was like, taking a kidney or something? I have a spare. I will live. I’ll be in pain for a while, but I will live. 

[lonely-little-lovely]

The Stars We Sew-pt. 2

Okay so this is the actual first chapter of my Rhysand’s sister eccentric ToG and ACOTAR crossover that no one remembers because I haven’t posted about it for like two months lmao. Enjoy!

Chapter 1-

Present Day: 

Kosmina had forgotten their faces long ago, but it was during these nights, the ones where she was in the arms of a male or female per her Queen's command, that she tried to remember them. The slope of Rhys's eyes, so similar to her own. The exact shade of Mor's hair. Cassian's cutting grin that she always thought she saw a little bit of in Fenrys' smirk. They were not completely right anymore, but she tried to imagine that they wouldn't be disgusted with her if they knew what she'd done over the centuries. 

Currently, Crown Prince Galan's arms were the ones wrapped around her. She'd been Emissary between the humans that ruled Wendlyn and Queen Maeve for centuries, but about a year ago, her Queen had put in another request. "Galan," Maeve had said, "is not fond of my tactics, and that proves harrying, so you'll do well to distract him when needed. Bat your pretty lashes at him, Mina, and convince him that if his new lover can be trusted, so can I. I'd rather not have to kill him." New lover. Her fate decided for her, who she'd see in her bedroom decided, as it almost always was. New lover. And because she was blood sworn, she could not refuse. 

Mina was sure that the only reason her title was 'Spymaster' and not 'Maeve's official whore' was because the latter was too uncouth. 

Galan was one of the more pleasant ones, and if Mina still knew how to feel guilt, she probably would be overrun with it. He was a good man, sharp witted and strong, and he loved his people with a passion. By human standards, he was a legendary warrior. And it was because of that, because of his courage and heart, that she had made sure he hadn't fallen in love with her. She was not a daemati like her brother Rhysand had been-or was, she wasn't sure, didn't even know if he was still alive- but some of his gift must have passed over, because she could control emotions, could sense what a person was feeling as well. She couldn't control the person's actions, but plenty had been accomplished before with just an overwhelming feeling. Usually, she'd force them to fall in love with her, per Maeve's request, but she did not want to do so with Galan. She made sure he liked her and trusted her enough, but never the entire way. 

Because trusting one of Maeve's blood sworn was perhaps the worst mistake one could ever make. 

You're needed. The words were whispered along her conscious, a simple kiss of a request, but Mina still had to suppress a shudder as she slipped from Galan's grasp and out of the bed. For a moment, she caught a glance of herself in a floor length mirror. Muscled, naturally tanned skin flicked here and there with scars. Heavy breasts, a toned stomach... and the tattoos. She wasn't as covered in them as Rowan was, but she had them. Her eyes flicked to the one around her throat- the Night Court symbol, the same that had been tattooed on Rhys' knees, though to everyone else, they were simply mountains. Not a home. Not a sanctuary turned nightmare. She studied them for a few moments, but did not turn to look at the ones marked on her back. 

Rowan had done them himself, had not questioned it when she had told him to copy the symbols she'd sketched down, hadn't asked what they meant. They were names, of course, and his had made the list, even if he could not read Illyrian runes. Over the centuries, she'd sketched them to herself so she would not forget where she came from. 

On her back, in between two rigid scars where wings should be, were names in the language she refused to forget. 

Eolande

Rhysand

Cassian

Azriel

Morrigan 

Lorcan

Gavriel

Adrian

Vaughan

Rowan

Innis

Fenrys

Connall

Most men, and women, demanded to know what they were. For some, she said they were only designs. For those who did not know what ancient Fae looked like, she said that it was, in fact, ancient Fae. None knew Illyrian. None ever would. Galan would not get a straight answer if he asked, either, but he never had, though he liked to trace the markings with his fingers sometimes. She glanced back at him as she donned her clothing- trousers, a tunic that matches her violet eyes, the sticky cloth to cover her breasts. The remnants of her underwear were on the decorative rug, so she hoped whatever Maeve wanted from her wouldn't take long. 

Come. Galan was peaceful in sleep- she could sense emotions as well, and his were calm. In the morning, he'd wake, not surprised to see her gone, as if she had to sneak out of this castle. His parents and their court undoubtedly knew that they were lovers, but what would they do? Ban her, one of Maeve's blood sworn? How plucky. The thought sent ire through her for seemingly no reason, but then again, mention of Maeve tended to have that affect on her. Come. 

Kosmina winnowed. 

Lorcan, Gavriel, and Vaughan were present so far, and she sidled in between them, dropping to one knee until Maeve gave her permission to rise. Despite the fact that it was not even dawn yet, Maeve was still dressed in a floor length black dress that sparkled as she crossed her pale legs. Fenrys appeared from the direction of Maeve's chambers, dressed and trying so hard to suppress his agony and hatred that Mina knew what their Queen had been forcing him to do before she'd held this little sudden meeting. She did that sometimes; called upon them at inconvenient times to remind them who was in charge. 

Fenrys may have been a pain in the ass, but she hated when he looked like that, vulnerable and beaten, almost as much as she hated Maeve; the fact that she raped him constantly and had raped Connall before as well was one of the top reasons, among others. It was not because of the fluttery, funny feeling she sometimes got around Fenrys that she thought was dead; that would be awful and selfish. Fen and Con were people. And they had been sold in the exact way that Mina had. She casually slipped past Vaughan to position herself by Fenrys- a solid weight in the crashing sea of his pain. Underneath that all, she felt a flicker of gratitude from him. 

"My Mina," she crooned. To anyone else, the 'my' could be a term of endearment, but Maeve didn't do endearment. It was meant as a reminder of who owned her. "How is Galan? Keeping him busy?"

There was so much mocking in her tone, so much taunting, but Mina said easily, "Of course, Majesty."

A hum. "I have plans for that." She was not sure she wanted to know what those plans were. "If he survives the next few months, of course. When does he leave to blockade run?" 

Her tone suggested that they were simply chatting about the weather and not a man's life. "He leaves within the week, Your Majesty." 

"That's more convenient than you could ever know." No one dared ask what the hell she meant by that, and the door opened, Connall and Rowan entering at last. If she tried, Mina could think of a time when Rowan's eyes hadn't been so blank and dead, so long ago when Lyria was still breathing. He nodded to her, to the rest of them, and he and Con dropped to their knees. 

"Rise," commanded Maeve, and they did, Connall going to Fenrys' side, Rowan moving next to Lorcan. "I have some interesting news. It seems my dear niece Aelin Ashryver Galathynius has made her way to Wendlyn." Everyone's faces remained stoic, but there were different spikes in the emotions. Lorcan was only mildly interested, Rowan did not give a shit, and the rest varied from incredulous to excited as Maeve continued. "She's become Adarlan's Assassin, Celaena Sardothian." A snort. "I do not care what human life she's made for herself- I want the root of her power. It's been unchecked for years. I'll need someone to train her if she's going to reach her potential." 

Fenrys, the main manufacturer of the excitement, stepped forward. "I volunteer myself to supervise the Galathynius girl, Your Majesty." 

Maeve's mouth twisted into cruel amusement. "So you can rut her day and night? I don't think so, Fenrys. I want her to actually be taught." He paled with rage, muscles going taut-he was the only one of them who made any dislike of their Queen evident- and she turned to the rest of them. "No, I would much prefer Rowan to handle her. I've no doubt she's a brat- you'll deal with that well, won't you, Rowan?" 

Rowan most certainly would not deal well with any princess temper tantrums, but he'd get those nasty little habits out of her. "Of course, your Majesty," he said, and beside Mina, Fenrys deflated. And that was that. 

Satisfied, the Queen eyed the rest of them. "Lorcan, Kosmina will be accompanying you across the Cambrian Mountains to Rune for my little treasure hunt." It was not a little treasure hunt, and they all knew it- their Queen thought she'd finally located the ring of Athril in the Tombs of Rune. And since Mina's skills included not only emotional manipulation, but standard Night Court powers, she was quite good in the dark. "You leave at dawn." 

"Yes, your Majesty," they chorused before they were turning and exiting to prepare for the journey. At least she could winnow them directly there instead of them having to trek all the way across the Cambrian Mountains. She could stand being around Lorcan for long amounts of time and actually enjoyed his company, but two weeks through the mountains with him AND skinwalkers didn't sound like the best vacation. 

The doors closed behind them, and they glanced at each other only once before they were going in opposite directions to their rooms to prepare, as they had done hundreds of times before, and would continue to do until they faded into nothing.

[wetrumpfeed]

Afternoon MAGAthread: YOUR WEEKLY PRESIDENTIAL RECAP!

GOOD AFTERNOON DEPLORABLES!

Welcome to your weekly recap of all things dank and spicy from the past week! For those that missed any past recaps you can check those out here!

Sunday, April 7th:

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Looks like Bob Mueller’s team of 13 Trump Haters & Angry Democrats are illegally leaking information to the press while the Fake News Media make up their own stories with or without sources - sources no longer matter to our corrupt & dishonest Mainstream Media, they are a Joke!

Pleased to report that the American tourist and tour guide that were abducted in Uganda have been released. God bless them and their families!

(Retweeting VP Mike Pence) The last 2 years, under @RealDonaldTrump, have been 2 years of action – it’s been 2 years of results – & it’s been 2 years of promises made and promises kept! #MAGA

(Retweeting VP Mike Pence) .@RealDonaldTrump is doing his job to SECURE OUR BORDER! @CBP is doing their job. It’s time for Congress to do its job and CLOSE THE LOOPHOLES in our immigration laws & end the CRISIS on our southern border!

Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen will be leaving her position, and I would like to thank her for her service.... ... ....I am pleased to announce that Kevin McAleenan, the current U.S. Customs and Border Protection Commissioner, will become Acting Secretary for @DHSgov. I have confidence that Kevin will do a great job!

More apprehensions (captures) at the Southern Border than in many years. Border Patrol amazing! Country is FULL! System has been broken for many years. Democrats in Congress must agree to fix loopholes - No Open Borders (Crimes & Drugs). Will Close Southern Border If necessary... ... ....Mexico must apprehend all illegals and not let them make the long march up to the United States, or we will have no other choice than to Close the Border and/or institute Tariffs. Our Country is FULL!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

James Woods - Cherishing diverse body types is a good thing, but this is no more productive than making smoking look “cool.”

Woman loses job for calling Jewish Trump supporter a Nazi, at Commiefornia Starbucks

Obama shatters previous record, mentions himself 467 times in one speech in Berlin

Mexican with a Trump hat gets harassed by psycho liberal trans (?)

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Every. Fucking. Time. They play this card every fucking time, and they can't not play this card, even when the playing of it is mind-bogglingly stupid. It's their favorite and only argument.

Best Episode of Reliable Sources EVER

🐕 Biden's Cone Of Shame 🐕

US vs. them

Found this beautiful photo and wanted to share it with you guys. Toxic Masculinity in action

Monday, April 8th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

Proclamation on National Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day, 2019

President Donald J. Trump Announces Judicial Nominations

President Trump Visits the New Border Wall

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

“The reason the whole process seems so politicized is that Democrats made up this complete lie about Collusion ....and none of it happened.” Charles Hurt. The Russian Hoax never happened, it was a fraud on the American people!

“Jerry Nadler is not entitled to this information. He is doing this to get it to the Democrat 2020 nominee.” @KatiePavlich

(Retweeting Jim Jordan) Dem talk: -Abolish ICE -Borderless hemisphere -Walls are immoral -Illegals should vote -Raise taxes @POTUS action: -Regs reduced -Taxes cut -Econ growing -5 million new jobs -Justices Gorsuch AND Kavanaugh -Out of Iran deal -Embassy in Jerusalem -Hostages home from NK -New NAFTA

(Retweeting Jim Jordan) Dems want President’s tax returns for purely political purposes! Frightening, but shouldn’t surprise us—same folks used the IRS to target Americans for their political beliefs!

(Retweeting C-SPAN) Rep. @Jim_Jordan on President Trump's tax returns: "There's no law that says they have to be public." Watch full #Newsmakers interview tonight at 10pm ET on C-SPAN https://cs.pn

Uganda must find the kidnappers of the American Tourist and guide before people will feel safe in going there. Bring them to justice openly and quickly!

The Democrats will never be satisfied, no matter what they get, how much they get, or how many pages they get. It will never end, but that’s the way life goes!

Congratulations to the Baylor Lady Bears on their amazing win last night against Notre Dame to become the 2019 NCAA Women’s Basketball National Champions!

A 9th Circuit Judge just ruled that Mexico is too dangerous for migrants. So unfair to the U.S. OUT OF CONTROL!

(Retweeting Official Team Trump) BIGGER paychecks under President @realDonaldTrump! 💰

Congratulations to Virginia - Great game!

(Retweeting The White House) The newly constructed 30-foot wall in Calexico, CA, replaces a barrier made of surplus corrugated steel landing mats from the Vietnam War—and border officials tell President @realDonaldTrump it's making a crucial difference. 1600 Daily: http://45.wh.gov/5yKBD8

(Retweeting Ronna McDaniel) Our economy is on fire. Jobs are up, unemployment is at record lows, and wages are still rising. But Democrats would rather lie about @realDonaldTrump than acknowledge all of his economic successes.

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Moment of prayer with Military leaders at the White House

HEY NANCY, PUT UP OR SHUT UP.

Rep. Nunes refers 8 people to Justice Department for prosecution. Crimes include lying to Congress and lying to the FISA court about the warrant for Carter Page.

Trump designates Iran's Revolutionary Guard a 'foreign terrorist organization'

Fucked around and almost found out. A responsible gun owner in Chi-raq. Notice nobody cares until he can defend himself.

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

A big part of Twitter is garbage

This meme triggered a lot of communists yesterday.

Future is bright!

Friendly reminder: John Oliver violated the terms of his work visa when he joined the writers strike a few years ago. He is in this country ILLEGALLY!

4th wave feminism...?

Tuesday, April 9th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Trump Welcomes the President of the Arab Republic of Egypt

President Trump Participates in a Bilateral Meeting with the President of the Arab Republic of Egypt

Ivanka Trump on the New Doubled Child Tax Credit

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

The World Trade Organization finds that the European Union subsidies to Airbus has adversely impacted the United States, which will now put Tariffs on $11 Billion of EU products! The EU has taken advantage of the U.S. on trade for many years. It will soon stop!

Congressman Jerry Nadler fought me for years on a very large development I built on the West Side of Manhattan. He wanted a Rail Yard built underneath the development or even better, to stop the job. He didn’t get either & the development became VERY successful. Nevertheless,.... ... ....I got along very well with Jerry during the zoning and building process. Then I changed course (slightly), became President, and now I am dealing with Congressman Nadler again. Some things never end, but hopefully it will all go well for everyone. Only time will tell!

The Mainstream Media has never been more inaccurate or corrupt than it is today. It only seems to get worse. So much Fake News!

On National Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day, we honor the Americans captured and imprisoned by foreign powers while carrying out their duties to defend this great Nation...

“What’s completely unacceptable is for Congesswoman Omar to target Jews, in this case Stephen Miller.” Jeff Ballabon, B2 Strategic, CEO. @Varneyco

Video

“She (Congresswoman Omar) keeps on assaulting Jews...” Jeff Ballabon, B2 Strategic, CEO

Today, it was my great honor to welcome President @AlsisiOfficial of the Arab Republic of Egypt to the @WhiteHouse!

Check this out - TRUTH!

THANK YOU, WORKING HARD!

“The underlying issue remains the same without a single American being indicted for Collusion with Russia, & that is a stunning end considering we were led to believe (Fake News) that something much more dramatic would happen. Why did people fall for this?” @TuckerCarlson Molly H

The Democrats must end the loopholes on immigration. So easy to solve!

(Retweeting Tammy Bruce) Trump Job Approval Jumps to 53% - Seven Points Higher Than Obama

Everybody is now acknowledging that, right from the time I announced my run for President, I was 100% correct on the Border. Remember the heat I took? Democrats should now get rid of the loopholes. The Border is being fixed. Mexico will not let people through!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

After 8 years of being a Democrat, leaving the Left & Supporting Trump was the most empowering thing I've done! You guys are the most accepting community & I'm going for my carry permit soon, too! Thank you!

Pentagon has awarded nearly $1 billion in contracts to build President Trump’s border wall with the construction set to end in October 2020.

Barr reveals he is reviewing ‘conduct’ of FBI’s original Russia probe

WINNING: President Trump's Job Approval Jumps to 53% – Seven Points Higher Than Obama

PewDiePie just took a MAJOR shit on YouTube and Twitch by announcing an exclusive live-streaming contract with DLive (Blockchain) and is offering $50K for charity. It was only a matter of time. GG.

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Remember that time in history that 3rd graders knew the truth way before CNN?

MRW when liberals keep whining but who cares cause the country is doing great

GEOTUS we love you

Dissapointed as fukk.

GEOTUS Has Known About 0bama's Spygate for YEARS

Wednesday, April 10th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

One Nomination and One Withdrawal Sent to the Senate

Executive Order on Promoting Energy Infrastructure and Economic Growth

Order on the Issuance of Permits with Respect to Facilities and Land Transportation Crossings at the International Boundaries of the United States

President Trump Delivers a Statement Upon Departure

President Trump Delivers Remarks and Signs an Executive Order on Energy & Infrastructure

President Trump Delivers Remarks and Signs an Executive Order on Energy & Infrastructure

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Trump flags being waived at the Bibi @Netanyahu VICTORY celebration last night!

Spoke to Bibi @Netanyahu to congratulate him on a great and hard-fought win. The United States is with him and the People of Israel all the way!

So, it has now been determined, by 18 people that truly hate President Trump, that there was No Collusion with Russia. In fact, it was an illegal investigation that should never have been allowed to start. I fought back hard against this Phony & Treasonous Hoax!

Join me in Crosby, Texas as I deliver remarks and sign Executive Orders on Energy and Infrastructure!

THANK YOU Texas, I love you!

CONGRATULATIONS to @EricTrump and @LaraLeaTrump on the great news. So proud!

(Retweeting Homeland Security) Today, @CBP Commissioner Kevin McAleenan was sworn-in to lead DHS as the Acting Secretary. The ceremony took place at the new DHS Headquarters at St. Elizabeth’s.

I think what the Democrats are doing with the Border is TREASONOUS. Their Open Border mindset is putting our Country at risk. Will not let this happen!

Too bad that the European Union is being so tough on the United Kingdom and Brexit. The E.U. is likewise a brutal trading partner with the United States, which will change. Sometimes in life you have to let people breathe before it all comes back to bite you!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Barr: I think spying on a political campaign is a big deal

BREAKING: Former FBI Agent Peter Strzok could face ‘serious’ charges for his involvement and actions while at FBI | READ and SHARE

Barr Confirms Multiple Intel Agencies Implicated In Anti-Trump Spy Operation

Ilhan Omar Claims “Dangerous Incitement” By Dan Crenshaw For Directly Quoting Her

Sad to see an @ATT owned company pull such a great video made by an every day American in good fun. AT&T now owns @CNN and is positioning themselves as a weapon of the left.

VP Pence obliterates the Venezuelan socialist regime at the UN

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Red pill dropped in the wild 💊

KABOOOOOOM!!!!!1111

The older I get, the more I relate with Hank.

MRW liberals are losing their minds over three letters .... SPY

Thursday, April 11th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

Eight Nominations and One Withdrawal Sent to the Senate

President Trump Meets with the President of the Republic of Korea

President Trump Greets World War ll Veterans

President Trump and the First Lady Meet with the President and First Lady of South Korea

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Great News! #MAGA

"SPY GAMES: TIME FOR ANSWERS"

"Biggest scandal of our time - the coup that failed!" @MariaBartiromo

Beautiful afternoon in the Oval Office today with a few great American HEROES!

House Democrats want to negotiate a $2 TRILLION spending increase but can’t even pass their own plan. We can’t afford it anyway, and it’s not happening!

(Retweeting Arthur Schwartz) Wow. @tedlieu got a well deserved ass kicking. Shame on you Ted.

“And the Radical Dems reeling in disarray as the President continues to Win, Win and Win again! The Left is PRETENDING to be shocked by A.G. William Barr’s testimony before Congress in which he said SPYING did occur on the Trump 2016 Campaign.” @LouDobbs @FoxNews

(Retweeting The Daily Caller) Rod Rosenstein Defends Attorney General’s Handling Of Mueller Report

(Retweeting The Daily Caller) Every CNN Presidential Town Hall Finished Behind MSNBC And Fox News In Ratings

(Retweeting Chuck Woolery) President Trump continues to tally up wins for our country as Americans just saw the best income gains in over 50 years. Listen to today’s #BFT Minute to find out more. https://buff.ly/2KHGBQQ

JOBLESS CLAIMS AT 50 YEAR LOW!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Wikileaks Co-Founder Julian Assange Arrested In London

ROASTED 😁😁

But now it’s just bigotry. Foot in mouth syndrome.

He's 100% right. The dishonest and corrupt media would NEVER have told us the truth. The world needed the information we learned. Without it, we'd probably be living in their new world order by now.

Posted by the legendary, Imam Mohamad Tawhidi (@imamofpeace)

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

The mighty morphing Democrat rangers

New York Post 4/11 Cover Calls Out that Nasty Woman

Time traveler confirmed!

THROWBACK THURSDAY March 20, 2017 - Vox: "All of Trump’s wiretap claims have now officially been debunked by the FBI and NSA". OOPSIE

To Corey Booker. From Bill.

Friday, April 12th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Trump and the First Lady Meet with the President and First Lady of South Korea

President Trump Delivers Remarks on United States 5G Deployment

President Donald J. Trump Announces Appointments for the Executive Office of the President

President Donald J. Trump Announces Nominations of Individuals to Key Administration Posts

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

“I don’t need to know any more. We’re done, absolutely done, he (Mueller) tried the case. There’s NO COLLUSION.” @LindseyGrahamSC @foxandfriends No matter what we do or give to the Radical Left, it will never be enough!

President Obama’s top White House lawyer, Gregory B. Craig, was indicted yesterday on very serious charges. This is a really big story, but the Fake News New York Times didn’t even put it on page one, rather page 16. @washingtonpost not much better, “tiny” page one. Corrupt News!

“Democrats don’t like the results of the Mueller Report, so now they’re trying everything else.” @RepDougCollins They should stop wasting time and money and get back to real legislating, especially on the Border!

Even the Democrats now say that our Southern Border is a Crisis and a National Emergency. Hopefully, we will not be getting any more BAD (outrageous) court decisions!

Due to the fact that Democrats are unwilling to change our very dangerous immigration laws, we are indeed, as reported, giving strong considerations to placing Illegal Immigrants in Sanctuary Cities only.... ... ....The Radical Left always seems to have an Open Borders, Open Arms policy – so this should make them very happy!

WSJ's Strassel: Barr 'Right' to Say 'Spying' Occurred on Trump Campaign | Breitbart http://bit.ly/2VHDlKn via @BreitbartNews

WE WILL NEVER FORGET!

If the Radical Left Democrats all of a sudden don’t want the Illegal Migrants in their Sanctuary Cities (no more open arms), why should others be expected to take them into their communities? Go home and come into our Country legally and through a system of Merit!

Thank you Jeh, so well stated!

Finally, great news at the Border! https://twitter.com/axios/status/1116872379324612608 …

A Fake Story by Politico. Made up sources. Thank you Mount Vernon!

Another Fake Story on @NBCNews that I offered Pardons to Homeland Securiy personnel in case they broke the law regarding illegal immigration and sanctuary cities. Of course this is not true. Mainstream Media is corrupt and getting worse, if that is possible, every day!

In New York State, Democrats blocked a Bill expanding College Tuition for Gold Star families after approving aid for illegal immigrants. No wonder so many people are leaving N.Y. Very Sad!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

NY Dems block bill expanding college tuition for Gold Star families after approving $27M in tuition aid for illegal aliens

Avenatti Accused of Hiding $4M Settlement from ‘Mentally Ill Paraplegic’ Client, Faces Up to 335 Years in Prison

Networks Give One Minute to Obama Counsel Indictment, Gave Manafort’s 60 Percent of Airtime

OUT OUT OUT! The Latest: Court allows return of asylum seekers to Mexico.

Censorship is real

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

“Some people did something.”

I can’t wait to look back in history when I’m telling my grandchildren how Conservative Americans won the culture war with memes like this

With the 5 Liberal Forces Combined you get ...

HOW DARE HIM!!!!

Reeesistance Member Sets Self Ablaze Outside White House, circa 2019

Saturday, April 13th:

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

I agree with Kim Jong Un of North Korea that our personal relationship remains very good, perhaps the term excellent would be even more accurate, and that a third Summit would be good in that we fully understand where we each stand. North Korea has tremendous potential for....... ... ...extraordinary growth, economic success and riches under the leadership of Chairman Kim. I look forward to the day, which could be soon, when Nuclear Weapons and Sanctions can be removed, and then watching North Korea become one of the most successful nations of the World!

Why should Radical Left Democrats in Congress have a right to retry and examine the $35,000,000 (two years in the making) No Collusion Mueller Report, when the crime committed was by Crooked Hillary, the DNC and Dirty Cops? Attorney General Barr will make the decision!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

BUSTED: Mount Vernon Debunks Politico's Fake News Story About Trump's Visit To Washington's Estate

A white child was callously thrown to his potential death only a few days after Congress held a sham hearing on white nationalism and tried to blame it for "hate crimes." The real rise in anti-white crime and hatred will of course get no congressional hearing.

Man Asks Swedes if they would take Refugees into their own homes, get's Pelosi'd

FITTON: HUGE Update: President Trump Vindicated and Hillary Clinton Implicated. SpyGate CONFIRMED--& Smoking Gun Clinton Email Cover-Up Docs. PLUS Fed helping illegal aliens send billions to Mexico.

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

It really do be like this

Remember when President Trump used to recite 'The Snake'

Looking ahead, this is the favorite to win next years masters. Get your bets in now Pedes!

The Video Michael Avenatti AND The Liberal Media will want removed off the internet

Blink blink ... wat

MOTHA FUCKIN WEEEEEW LAD!!!! SO MUCH WINNING!

Without further ado, some tunes to get you jamming through all this winning:

Move On

Lose Yourself To Dance

Can I kick it

Gold

Who Do You Love

Sunflower

MAGA ON PATRIOTS!

submitted by /u/Ivaginaryfriend [link] [comments]

[robgrayofficial]

GOOD AFTERNOON DEPLORABLES!Welcome to your weekly recap of all things dank and spicy from the past week! For those that missed any past recaps you can check those out here!Sunday, April 7th:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Looks like Bob Mueller’s team of 13 Trump Haters & Angry Democrats are illegally leaking information to the press while the Fake News Media make up their own stories with or without sources - sources no longer matter to our corrupt & dishonest Mainstream Media, they are a Joke!Pleased to report that the American tourist and tour guide that were abducted in Uganda have been released. God bless them and their families!(Retweeting VP Mike Pence) The last 2 years, under @RealDonaldTrump, have been 2 years of action – it’s been 2 years of results – & it’s been 2 years of promises made and promises kept! #MAGA(Retweeting VP Mike Pence) .@RealDonaldTrump is doing his job to SECURE OUR BORDER! @CBP is doing their job. It’s time for Congress to do its job and CLOSE THE LOOPHOLES in our immigration laws & end the CRISIS on our southern border!Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen will be leaving her position, and I would like to thank her for her service.... ... ....I am pleased to announce that Kevin McAleenan, the current U.S. Customs and Border Protection Commissioner, will become Acting Secretary for @DHSgov. I have confidence that Kevin will do a great job!More apprehensions (captures) at the Southern Border than in many years. Border Patrol amazing! Country is FULL! System has been broken for many years. Democrats in Congress must agree to fix loopholes - No Open Borders (Crimes & Drugs). Will Close Southern Border If necessary... ... ....Mexico must apprehend all illegals and not let them make the long march up to the United States, or we will have no other choice than to Close the Border and/or institute Tariffs. Our Country is FULL!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:James Woods - Cherishing diverse body types is a good thing, but this is no more productive than making smoking look “cool.”Woman loses job for calling Jewish Trump supporter a Nazi, at Commiefornia StarbucksObama shatters previous record, mentions himself 467 times in one speech in BerlinMexican with a Trump hat gets harassed by psycho liberal trans (?)🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Every. Fucking. Time. They play this card every fucking time, and they can't not play this card, even when the playing of it is mind-bogglingly stupid. It's their favorite and only argument.Best Episode of Reliable Sources EVER🐕 Biden's Cone Of Shame 🐕US vs. themFound this beautiful photo and wanted to share it with you guys. Toxic Masculinity in actionMonday, April 8th:TODAY'S ACTION:Proclamation on National Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day, 2019President Donald J. Trump Announces Judicial NominationsPresident Trump Visits the New Border Wall🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:“The reason the whole process seems so politicized is that Democrats made up this complete lie about Collusion ....and none of it happened.” Charles Hurt. The Russian Hoax never happened, it was a fraud on the American people!“Jerry Nadler is not entitled to this information. He is doing this to get it to the Democrat 2020 nominee.” @KatiePavlich(Retweeting Jim Jordan) Dem talk: -Abolish ICE -Borderless hemisphere -Walls are immoral -Illegals should vote -Raise taxes @POTUS action: -Regs reduced -Taxes cut -Econ growing -5 million new jobs -Justices Gorsuch AND Kavanaugh -Out of Iran deal -Embassy in Jerusalem -Hostages home from NK -New NAFTA(Retweeting Jim Jordan) Dems want President’s tax returns for purely political purposes! Frightening, but shouldn’t surprise us—same folks used the IRS to target Americans for their political beliefs!(Retweeting C-SPAN) Rep. @Jim_Jordan on President Trump's tax returns: "There's no law that says they have to be public." Watch full #Newsmakers interview tonight at 10pm ET on C-SPAN http://bit.ly/2IlbE7g must find the kidnappers of the American Tourist and guide before people will feel safe in going there. Bring them to justice openly and quickly!The Democrats will never be satisfied, no matter what they get, how much they get, or how many pages they get. It will never end, but that’s the way life goes!Congratulations to the Baylor Lady Bears on their amazing win last night against Notre Dame to become the 2019 NCAA Women’s Basketball National Champions!A 9th Circuit Judge just ruled that Mexico is too dangerous for migrants. So unfair to the U.S. OUT OF CONTROL!(Retweeting Official Team Trump) BIGGER paychecks under President @realDonaldTrump! 💰Congratulations to Virginia - Great game!(Retweeting The White House) The newly constructed 30-foot wall in Calexico, CA, replaces a barrier made of surplus corrugated steel landing mats from the Vietnam War—and border officials tell President @realDonaldTrump it's making a crucial difference. 1600 Daily: http://bit.ly/2Jiqzk0 Ronna McDaniel) Our economy is on fire. Jobs are up, unemployment is at record lows, and wages are still rising. But Democrats would rather lie about @realDonaldTrump than acknowledge all of his economic successes.SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Moment of prayer with Military leaders at the White HouseHEY NANCY, PUT UP OR SHUT UP.Rep. Nunes refers 8 people to Justice Department for prosecution. Crimes include lying to Congress and lying to the FISA court about the warrant for Carter Page.Trump designates Iran's Revolutionary Guard a 'foreign terrorist organization'Fucked around and almost found out. A responsible gun owner in Chi-raq. Notice nobody cares until he can defend himself.🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:A big part of Twitter is garbageThis meme triggered a lot of communists yesterday.Future is bright!Friendly reminder: John Oliver violated the terms of his work visa when he joined the writers strike a few years ago. He is in this country ILLEGALLY!4th wave feminism...?Tuesday, April 9th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Welcomes the President of the Arab Republic of EgyptPresident Trump Participates in a Bilateral Meeting with the President of the Arab Republic of EgyptIvanka Trump on the New Doubled Child Tax Credit🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:The World Trade Organization finds that the European Union subsidies to Airbus has adversely impacted the United States, which will now put Tariffs on $11 Billion of EU products! The EU has taken advantage of the U.S. on trade for many years. It will soon stop!Congressman Jerry Nadler fought me for years on a very large development I built on the West Side of Manhattan. He wanted a Rail Yard built underneath the development or even better, to stop the job. He didn’t get either & the development became VERY successful. Nevertheless,.... ... ....I got along very well with Jerry during the zoning and building process. Then I changed course (slightly), became President, and now I am dealing with Congressman Nadler again. Some things never end, but hopefully it will all go well for everyone. Only time will tell!The Mainstream Media has never been more inaccurate or corrupt than it is today. It only seems to get worse. So much Fake News!On National Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day, we honor the Americans captured and imprisoned by foreign powers while carrying out their duties to defend this great Nation...“What’s completely unacceptable is for Congesswoman Omar to target Jews, in this case Stephen Miller.” Jeff Ballabon, B2 Strategic, CEO. @VarneycoVideo“She (Congresswoman Omar) keeps on assaulting Jews...” Jeff Ballabon, B2 Strategic, CEOToday, it was my great honor to welcome President @AlsisiOfficial of the Arab Republic of Egypt to the @WhiteHouse!Check this out - TRUTH!THANK YOU, WORKING HARD!“The underlying issue remains the same without a single American being indicted for Collusion with Russia, & that is a stunning end considering we were led to believe (Fake News) that something much more dramatic would happen. Why did people fall for this?” @TuckerCarlson Molly HThe Democrats must end the loopholes on immigration. So easy to solve!(Retweeting Tammy Bruce) Trump Job Approval Jumps to 53% - Seven Points Higher Than ObamaEverybody is now acknowledging that, right from the time I announced my run for President, I was 100% correct on the Border. Remember the heat I took? Democrats should now get rid of the loopholes. The Border is being fixed. Mexico will not let people through!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:After 8 years of being a Democrat, leaving the Left & Supporting Trump was the most empowering thing I've done! You guys are the most accepting community & I'm going for my carry permit soon, too! Thank you!Pentagon has awarded nearly $1 billion in contracts to build President Trump’s border wall with the construction set to end in October 2020.Barr reveals he is reviewing ‘conduct’ of FBI’s original Russia probeWINNING: President Trump's Job Approval Jumps to 53% – Seven Points Higher Than ObamaPewDiePie just took a MAJOR shit on YouTube and Twitch by announcing an exclusive live-streaming contract with DLive (Blockchain) and is offering $50K for charity. It was only a matter of time. GG.🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Remember that time in history that 3rd graders knew the truth way before CNN?MRW when liberals keep whining but who cares cause the country is doing greatGEOTUS we love youDissapointed as fukk.GEOTUS Has Known About 0bama's Spygate for YEARSWednesday, April 10th:TODAY'S ACTION:One Nomination and One Withdrawal Sent to the SenateExecutive Order on Promoting Energy Infrastructure and Economic GrowthOrder on the Issuance of Permits with Respect to Facilities and Land Transportation Crossings at the International Boundaries of the United StatesPresident Trump Delivers a Statement Upon DeparturePresident Trump Delivers Remarks and Signs an Executive Order on Energy & InfrastructurePresident Trump Delivers Remarks and Signs an Executive Order on Energy & Infrastructure🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Trump flags being waived at the Bibi @Netanyahu VICTORY celebration last night!Spoke to Bibi @Netanyahu to congratulate him on a great and hard-fought win. The United States is with him and the People of Israel all the way!So, it has now been determined, by 18 people that truly hate President Trump, that there was No Collusion with Russia. In fact, it was an illegal investigation that should never have been allowed to start. I fought back hard against this Phony & Treasonous Hoax!Join me in Crosby, Texas as I deliver remarks and sign Executive Orders on Energy and Infrastructure!THANK YOU Texas, I love you!CONGRATULATIONS to @EricTrump and @LaraLeaTrump on the great news. So proud!(Retweeting Homeland Security) Today, @CBP Commissioner Kevin McAleenan was sworn-in to lead DHS as the Acting Secretary. The ceremony took place at the new DHS Headquarters at St. Elizabeth’s.I think what the Democrats are doing with the Border is TREASONOUS. Their Open Border mindset is putting our Country at risk. Will not let this happen!Too bad that the European Union is being so tough on the United Kingdom and Brexit. The E.U. is likewise a brutal trading partner with the United States, which will change. Sometimes in life you have to let people breathe before it all comes back to bite you!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Barr: I think spying on a political campaign is a big dealBREAKING: Former FBI Agent Peter Strzok could face ‘serious’ charges for his involvement and actions while at FBI | READ and SHAREBarr Confirms Multiple Intel Agencies Implicated In Anti-Trump Spy OperationIlhan Omar Claims “Dangerous Incitement” By Dan Crenshaw For Directly Quoting HerSad to see an @ATT owned company pull such a great video made by an every day American in good fun. AT&T now owns @CNN and is positioning themselves as a weapon of the left.VP Pence obliterates the Venezuelan socialist regime at the UN🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Red pill dropped in the wild 💊KABOOOOOOM!!!!!1111The older I get, the more I relate with Hank.MRW liberals are losing their minds over three letters .... SPYThursday, April 11th:TODAY'S ACTION:Eight Nominations and One Withdrawal Sent to the SenatePresident Trump Meets with the President of the Republic of KoreaPresident Trump Greets World War ll VeteransPresident Trump and the First Lady Meet with the President and First Lady of South Korea🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Great News! #MAGA"SPY GAMES: TIME FOR ANSWERS""Biggest scandal of our time - the coup that failed!" @MariaBartiromoBeautiful afternoon in the Oval Office today with a few great American HEROES!House Democrats want to negotiate a $2 TRILLION spending increase but can’t even pass their own plan. We can’t afford it anyway, and it’s not happening!(Retweeting Arthur Schwartz) Wow. @tedlieu got a well deserved ass kicking. Shame on you Ted.“And the Radical Dems reeling in disarray as the President continues to Win, Win and Win again! The Left is PRETENDING to be shocked by A.G. William Barr’s testimony before Congress in which he said SPYING did occur on the Trump 2016 Campaign.” @LouDobbs @FoxNews(Retweeting The Daily Caller) Rod Rosenstein Defends Attorney General’s Handling Of Mueller Report(Retweeting The Daily Caller) Every CNN Presidential Town Hall Finished Behind MSNBC And Fox News In Ratings(Retweeting Chuck Woolery) President Trump continues to tally up wins for our country as Americans just saw the best income gains in over 50 years. Listen to today’s #BFT Minute to find out more. https://buff.ly/2KHGBQQJOBLESS CLAIMS AT 50 YEAR LOW!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Wikileaks Co-Founder Julian Assange Arrested In LondonROASTED 😁😁But now it’s just bigotry. Foot in mouth syndrome.He's 100% right. The dishonest and corrupt media would NEVER have told us the truth. The world needed the information we learned. Without it, we'd probably be living in their new world order by now.Posted by the legendary, Imam Mohamad Tawhidi (@imamofpeace)🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:The mighty morphing Democrat rangersNew York Post 4/11 Cover Calls Out that Nasty WomanTime traveler confirmed!THROWBACK THURSDAY March 20, 2017 - Vox: "All of Trump’s wiretap claims have now officially been debunked by the FBI and NSA". OOPSIETo Corey Booker. From Bill.Friday, April 12th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump and the First Lady Meet with the President and First Lady of South KoreaPresident Trump Delivers Remarks on United States 5G DeploymentPresident Donald J. Trump Announces Appointments for the Executive Office of the PresidentPresident Donald J. Trump Announces Nominations of Individuals to Key Administration Posts🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:“I don’t need to know any more. We’re done, absolutely done, he (Mueller) tried the case. There’s NO COLLUSION.” @LindseyGrahamSC @foxandfriends No matter what we do or give to the Radical Left, it will never be enough!President Obama’s top White House lawyer, Gregory B. Craig, was indicted yesterday on very serious charges. This is a really big story, but the Fake News New York Times didn’t even put it on page one, rather page 16. @washingtonpost not much better, “tiny” page one. Corrupt News!“Democrats don’t like the results of the Mueller Report, so now they’re trying everything else.” @RepDougCollins They should stop wasting time and money and get back to real legislating, especially on the Border!Even the Democrats now say that our Southern Border is a Crisis and a National Emergency. Hopefully, we will not be getting any more BAD (outrageous) court decisions!Due to the fact that Democrats are unwilling to change our very dangerous immigration laws, we are indeed, as reported, giving strong considerations to placing Illegal Immigrants in Sanctuary Cities only.... ... ....The Radical Left always seems to have an Open Borders, Open Arms policy – so this should make them very happy!WSJ's Strassel: Barr 'Right' to Say 'Spying' Occurred on Trump Campaign | Breitbart http://bit.ly/2VHDlKn via @BreitbartNewsWE WILL NEVER FORGET!If the Radical Left Democrats all of a sudden don’t want the Illegal Migrants in their Sanctuary Cities (no more open arms), why should others be expected to take them into their communities? Go home and come into our Country legally and through a system of Merit!Thank you Jeh, so well stated!Finally, great news at the Border! https://twitter.com/axios/status/1116872379324612608 …A Fake Story by Politico. Made up sources. Thank you Mount Vernon!Another Fake Story on @NBCNews that I offered Pardons to Homeland Securiy personnel in case they broke the law regarding illegal immigration and sanctuary cities. Of course this is not true. Mainstream Media is corrupt and getting worse, if that is possible, every day!In New York State, Democrats blocked a Bill expanding College Tuition for Gold Star families after approving aid for illegal immigrants. No wonder so many people are leaving N.Y. Very Sad!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:NY Dems block bill expanding college tuition for Gold Star families after approving $27M in tuition aid for illegal aliensAvenatti Accused of Hiding $4M Settlement from ‘Mentally Ill Paraplegic’ Client, Faces Up to 335 Years in PrisonNetworks Give One Minute to Obama Counsel Indictment, Gave Manafort’s 60 Percent of AirtimeOUT OUT OUT! The Latest: Court allows return of asylum seekers to Mexico.Censorship is real🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:“Some people did something.”I can’t wait to look back in history when I’m telling my grandchildren how Conservative Americans won the culture war with memes like thisWith the 5 Liberal Forces Combined you get ...HOW DARE HIM!!!!Reeesistance Member Sets Self Ablaze Outside White House, circa 2019Saturday, April 13th:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:I agree with Kim Jong Un of North Korea that our personal relationship remains very good, perhaps the term excellent would be even more accurate, and that a third Summit would be good in that we fully understand where we each stand. North Korea has tremendous potential for....... ... ...extraordinary growth, economic success and riches under the leadership of Chairman Kim. I look forward to the day, which could be soon, when Nuclear Weapons and Sanctions can be removed, and then watching North Korea become one of the most successful nations of the World!Why should Radical Left Democrats in Congress have a right to retry and examine the $35,000,000 (two years in the making) No Collusion Mueller Report, when the crime committed was by Crooked Hillary, the DNC and Dirty Cops? Attorney General Barr will make the decision!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:BUSTED: Mount Vernon Debunks Politico's Fake News Story About Trump's Visit To Washington's EstateA white child was callously thrown to his potential death only a few days after Congress held a sham hearing on white nationalism and tried to blame it for "hate crimes." The real rise in anti-white crime and hatred will of course get no congressional hearing.Man Asks Swedes if they would take Refugees into their own homes, get's Pelosi'dFITTON: HUGE Update: President Trump Vindicated and Hillary Clinton Implicated. SpyGate CONFIRMED--& Smoking Gun Clinton Email Cover-Up Docs. PLUS Fed helping illegal aliens send billions to Mexico.🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:It really do be like thisRemember when President Trump used to recite 'The Snake'Looking ahead, this is the favorite to win next years masters. Get your bets in now Pedes!The Video Michael Avenatti AND The Liberal Media will want removed off the internetBlink blink ... watMOTHA FUCKIN WEEEEEW LAD!!!! SO MUCH WINNING!Without further ado, some tunes to get you jamming through all this winning:Move OnLose Yourself To DanceCan I kick itGoldWho Do You LoveSunflowerMAGA ON PATRIOTS! #robgray

[flauntpage]

Your Wednesday Morning Roundup

The December 76ers can be summed up by one quote from The Waterboy:

With the 101-95 loss to the Sacramento Kings, the Sixers have lost seven of their last eight games, 2-9 since the calendar turned to December, and 4-11 since Thanksgiving.

For the second straight game, the Sixers did not have the services of Joel Embiid due to back soreness, but that in no means is a good excuse for this slump. They lost to the Chicago Bulls by two on Monday night, so this should’ve been a win, right? Nope.

Robert Covington led the Sixers with 17 points, while Ben Simmons was an assist short of another triple-double, recording 13 points and 12 rebounds to go with his nine dishes. Zach Randolph led all players with 27 points, with Buddy Hield not that far behind with 24.

The team begins a home-and-home Thursday night at the Wells Fargo Center with the Toronto Raptors. That will be the team’s last home game until the new year. Let’s hope we see more of Ben Simmons taking jumpers, because he might need to start carrying the team a little more.

The Roundup:

Remember Jahlil Okafor? The Sixers traded him and Nik Stauskas to the Nets for Trevor Booker nearly two weeks ago. He hasn’t played in five of the team’s six games since the trade, and he’s blaming the Sixers for not being in game shape. So much for that vegan diet of his.

But he’s now entered damage control mode. This from his Instagram story:

—

Pro Bowl rosters were announced last night, and the Eagles had six of their own named to the NFC team Four of them are first-time selections.

RG Brandon Brooks (1st Pro Bowl)

DT Fletcher Cox (3rd Pro Bowl)

TE Zach Ertz (1st Pro Bowl)

S Malcolm Jenkins (2nd Pro Bowl)

RT Lane Johnson (1st Pro Bowl)

QB Carson Wentz (1st Pro Bowl)

The Steelers led all teams with eight Pro Bowlers.

But one notable exception was center Jason Kelce, who was leading voting at the center position earlier this month. His teammates thought he was robbed of a selection:

Kelce got snubbed so bad I’m starting to wonder if the voters are all trash cans.

— Chris Long (@JOEL9ONE) December 20, 2017

Kelce was robbed though http://pic.twitter.com/VVCrl3glni

— Torrey Smith (@TorreySmithWR) December 20, 2017

Long also thought Brandon Graham should’ve been in:

BG never having been to a Pro Bowl is an example of why it’s kind of an arbitrary deal. Great football player.

— Chris Long (@JOEL9ONE) December 20, 2017

Kelce and Graham, along with Alshon Jeffery, Jalen Mills, Jake Elliott and Kamu Grugier-Hill are all Pro Bowl alternates.

As for the rest of the team, defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz hasn’t been happy with his performance of the defense, even though the team has continued their winning ways.

“One thing that has hurt us, particularly in this last game, were penalties and third down,” Schwartz said. “The first three series of the game, I think we started 0-for-6 on third downs. You talk about a good formula for giving up points, there’s one right there. When I say 0-for-6, that might not be the stat count because the penalties don’t count in those official stats, but they count on defense…

“When we’re playing our best, we don’t give teams a second chance. I’ve said that a few weeks in a row now. I’m getting a little bit tired of saying it, but we have to get back to that. We have to get back to playing clean football, not giving people stuff for free.

“There’s a lot of things the opponents do to us. They can run and pass and play-action and everything else. I think what’s more important in this is what we’re doing. When we play our best, we don’t give up touchdowns.”

Carson Wentz made his return to NovaCare Complex yesterday. But even though he won’t play for the rest of the year, he’ll still get involved with Nick Foles and Nate Sudfeld.

“Today he was back in the building, in the quarterback room, and just being himself,” Reich said. “That’s a tight-knit room. These rooms, our players are close. The three of those [QBs] are really close. So, first and foremost, take care of rehab. Second, support Nick [Foles] and Nate [Sudfeld].”

From covering Training Camp this summer, Reich is right. I spoke to Dane Evans, the team’s fourth string QB during the preseason, and he discussed the close-knit and competitiveness the QBs had, especially with ping pong. Evans and Foles, along with Matt McGloin, made sure Wentz didn’t have easy chances to win. It’s a fun group from what Evans told me.

—

Anthony SanFilippo recaps Monday’s 4-1 loss to the Los Angeles Kings, which ended their six-game winning streak.

Despite playing in every game this season, rookie defenseman Robert Hagg hasn’t recorded a goal. He’s not worried about that, and would rather worry about his team rather than himself.

“I’m not trying to build my game through stats,” Hagg said after practice Tuesday. “I’m just trying to help the team win. If my stats say I’m horse[bleep] out there, I don’t care, honestly.”

They don’t. What they say is he is already, in his rookie season, among the NHL’s most consistent hitters and reliable defenders. Hagg was credited with six hits in Monday’s 4-1 loss to Los Angeles, maintaining his status among the top five defenders in that category.

Impressive as those numbers are, the impressive aspect is what they accomplish. Armed with an active stick that can flick pucks clear of danger with a single hand attached, Hagg designs his hits to separate pucks rather than shoulders. He’s amassed just 12 penalty minutes. Radko Gudas, despite playing in 20 because of injuries and a 10-game suspension, has 57 penalty minutes.

“Hagger’s playing hard,” said Flyers coach Dave Hakstol. “You look at [Monday] night. We were off our game. We didn’t play a complete game. Individually, I thought he played hard. He did all of the things that we would like to see out of him. Throughout he was a consistent player, a heavy player throughout that entire game.”

The Flyers host the Detroit Red Wings tonight for Wednesday Night Rivalry at 8 PM on NBCSN. Don’t ask me how this is a rivalry game, because just mentioning the 1997 Stanley Cup Final is ridiculous. It’s the team’s last home game of the calendar year.

—

As Temple prepares for tomorrow’s Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl (what a name for a bowl), the school’s winningest senior class doesn’t want to end the season with a losing record. And head coach Geoff Collins has been setting the tone for the week.

Collins was named Temple’s head coach two weeks before last year’s bowl game, but he didn’t coach in it, opting to observe. Tight ends and special teams coach Ed Foley, who was named the interim head coach when Rhule departed, coached the team.

While the media hasn’t been able to view much of practice, word is that the players have been energetic, with Collins leading the way.

Collins says he and his staff haven’t shied away from mentioning the disappointing results of the last two bowl games. He feels that in practice, he feels the players seemed to have responded.

“I am pleased with how they prepared [and] handled their business on and off the field, so it has been a good week of preparation,” Collins said.

The team had some fun as well on the beach yesterday.

Selfies with Hooter!#InvadeTheBay http://pic.twitter.com/A3SAf5FODb

— Temple Football (@Temple_FB) December 19, 2017

Had a blast at the today! #BattleAtTheBeach #InvadeTheBay http://pic.twitter.com/ikDNXThNFh

— Temple Football (@Temple_FB) December 20, 2017

The kid crowd surfing in the first picture is long snapper Corey Lerch, one of my buds from high school. He’s the next Jon Dorenbos.

Today is the start of the new early signing period for high school football recruits.

—

In other sports news, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick has stripped Alex Guerrero, an associate of Tom Brady and his TB12 therapy center, of his special team privileges. Is there a growing rift between Brady and Belichick?

Oklahoma freshman Trae Young tied the NCAA record of 22 assists in last night’s win over Northwestern State. He was also the first player in two decades to register at least 20 points and 20 assists in the same game.

After their move to the Barclays Center, a basketball arena, proved to be really bad, the New York Islanders will move back to Long Island near Belmont Park.

North Carolina head coach Sylvia Hatchell and UConn head coach and Norristown native Geno Auriemma earned their 1,000th career victories in women’s college basketball.

Speaking of local in the college game, former Imhotep wide receiver and current Maryland Terrapin D.J. Moore is foregoing his senior season and will enter the 2018 NFL Draft.

Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is back on IR.

Lane Kiffin had a heck of a day. Hours after signing a new 10-year contract extension (!) with Florida Atlantic, his Owls destroyed Akron 50-3.

LANE WITH THE ONE-HANDED SNAG http://pic.twitter.com/Tqua5kjYd0

— SB Nation CFB (@SBNationCFB) December 20, 2017

We also found out he hates Gatorade baths and he can’t really dance.

Steph Curry’s ankle injury will force him to miss the Christmas Day NBA Finals rematch against the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Former 49er and current rugby player Jarryd Hayne has been accused of rape in a civil lawsuit.

Marlins Man is not happy with Derek Jeter and his moves with the Miami Marlins.

Charlie Villanueva got his housed robbed. And they took his toilet.

They stole my toilet…… I’m not making this shit up. Still waiting @DallasPD http://pic.twitter.com/Go9BP3itSB

— Charlie Villanueva (@CVBelieve) December 20, 2017

This Detroit Mercy commit broke a rim.

Literally shut down the gym. Games canceled. @Adrian4Nelson just broke the rim.. http://pic.twitter.com/GFuE6A0HkJ

— Ian (@ian_ash1) December 20, 2017

—

In the news, part of I-95 in Bucks County was shut down early this morning after a sign mishap involving a malfunctioning crane.

The Senate passed the new GOP tax plan and will go back to the House for another vote.

A top European court has ruled that Uber should be regulated as a taxi company.

Cardinal Bernard Law, the former Boston archbishop who resigned during the church’s sex abuse scandal, has died at 86.

Heather North, the longtime voice of Daphne during the Scooby Doo incarnations up until 2003, has died at 71.

If you’re tired of the same old Christmas songs, Chance the Rapper and Jeremih have dropped a deluxe holiday mixtape for you to listen and download.

McDonald’s is going to sell a McVegan burger in Europe.

Your Wednesday Morning Roundup published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[mementotori]

Path of the Grey: Chapter 7

Get ready for the worst character I have created (so far)

@mad-mod, @ineffablewitch

"Listen to the warning

The seer he said

Beware the storm that gathers here"

9:28 Dragon

Thackery laid upon a large branch of an oak. He swung one of his long legs down, a dandelion sticking out from his lips. He looked up into the red and orange leaves.

It was Autumn in the Frostbacks, and he knew the winters to be harsh and cruel. The Keeper called for the clan to finally start packing for the journey south. Thackery was tired, having just taken down the large tent over Ashalle's aravel, and making sure it was ready for the journey.

He hated the mountains.

But Melia was always there to keep him distracted.

Thackery ran his slender hands through his wild raven hair, taking in the scents of the trees before he ultimately had to be on the road for Creators know how long. He brought up his knitting needles once more, working on a scarf for Fenarel. He was proud of his work, knowing Ashalle was absolute rubbish at the craft.

Thackery stopped suddenly; there was a strange scent to the air.

Quickly he clamored down the trunk of the tree. He raced through the woods, kicking up leaves and dirt. He stopped when he heard a commotion. His ears twitched.

"Don't touch me!"

Thackery ran in the direction of the screams. He came upon a small clearing where he saw Merrill backed up against a tree, three bandits standing in front of her.

Thackery picked up a flat stone. He hurled it at the helm of one of the cutpurses. The man stumbled, crying out as he did.

The other two turned around, their eyes flashing. Thackery paused.

"Oh shit." He said.

The bandits ran for him. The one he had hit tackled Merrill to the ground. Thackery snarled, running for the men, pouncing upon the closest one like a panther on prey. He bit into his neck, drawing blood. The man screamed, falling down and holding onto his wound.

"Fucking knife ear!" The last one called, swinging his sword at Thackery, who nearly dodged the blow. Thackery stabbed him in the side with one of his knitting needles.

There was a flash of light. The man who was about to swing again froze in place just before bursting into pieces. Thackery shielded himself, slowly rising to his full height. He looked around for Merrill. She was being held by a man wearing robes in the style of Orlais. Thackery had seen this attire once on an elf at the Gathering.

Thackery now took out his dagger.

"Leave her be, shem!" He held it up.

The man now held her bridal style, he looked to Thackery.

"She is wounded," He said, his accent deep and rich, "It would be best to bring her to your Keeper."

Thackery looked at Merrill, the blood coming from her mouth and the bruises on her face. He lowered his weapon only slightly.

"Fine."

Thackery walked in front of the man, watching his every move. Although he did nothing, Thackery still felt uneasy about him.

Near the borders of the Dalish camp, Thackery could see a flash of white hair burst from the trees.

Melia was in her Father's hunting armor, her daggers out. Tamlen was not far behind, his shield at the ready.

Melia spotted the human man and rounded on her cousin, "Thackery, Dirthara-ma. Garas…" She stopped when she saw Merrill.

"Melia'nain," Thackery started, "Ir abelas…"

Melia grabbed Merrill away. She did not meet the eyes of the man she had taken Merrill from, but she knew that he was staring at her.

She moved away and ran for the camp.

"And she's gone." Thackery said.

Tamlen scoffed, "She's very angry with you."

"She can deal with it."

Tamlen looked at the man, "You can leave now, shem...and be quick about it. I'll allow a head start before my sword meets your backside…"

"I do not wish any of you harm...I was simply travelling…" the man began.

"Enough," Thackery started, "We do not wish to hear your stories. Our debt to you is that we have no killed you. Leave this place."

"As you wish." The man took a bow and then turned away, disappearing into the trees.

"I don't like him." Tamlen said.

Thackery unclenched his fists, realizing he had broken the skin with his nails.

"Neither do I."

Thackery sat outside of the Keeper's aravel, Ashalle fussing over the cuts he didn't even know he had gotten.

Melia was pacing in front of him.

"Fenedhis, Melia, she'll be okay." Thackery said.

"What was she even doing out there?" Melia said, "She knows she should not wander far from any of the hunters…"

"You know Merrill. She likes to get out and wander. Just because you're a hunter doesn't mean you're the only one that gets the right to leave." Thackery scoffed.

"I have proven myself," Melia shot back, "Time and time again. It does no good for anyone to leave without alerting someone...and you!" She pointed, "Why were you gone? Where were you?"

"Da len, leave your cousin be." Ashalle stopped Melia, "Were it not for him Merrill might not be here…"

Melia held back her anger, but Thackery could see her ears turn red.

The Keeper came out of her aravel nearly hours later. Night had fallen, and Melia had put on her scarf and some semblance of boot to keep the frost out. Thackery had been working on his knitting, setting it aside to hear the Keeper.

"Merrill is fine." Marethari said bluntly, "I am thankful to the Creators that it was not worse than it already was." She looked to Thackery, "I understand a shem helped you two?"

Thackery pursed his lips, "I would have been fine...but yes. He did."

"I also understand you and Tamlen drove him away?" The keeper raised her brow.

"But…"

"Regardless of your feelings, this man save my Second." The Keeper said.

"...Ir abelas." Thackery sighed, he looked to Melia, "I'm going to the aravel." He walked away.

The Keeper looked at Melia.

"Melia'nain," I must ask you to keep a watchful eye for this human. You saw him yes?"

"Briefly, Keeper."

"Good. I do not trust Tamlen, he would easily kill the man. But I wish to at least thank him before we leave."

"Ma nuvenin, Keeper." Melia said, "I will take the first patrol tonight, perhaps he may still be in these woods."

The Keeper smiled, "Ma serannas, da len."

Melia stepped quietly through the trees, her footsteps falling lightly on the lush grass. Her bright green eyes illuminated in the quiet darkness of the forest.

Her fingers brushed over the leather hilt over her daggers. The tips of her ears twitched when she heard a twig snap.

In one fluid motion she threw her dagger towards the sound, nearly missing the man by a centimeter. He took one look at the dagger and a broad smile grew across his face.

Melia reached for her second blade, watching the man pull the dagger from the trunk of the tree and hold it gently in his hands.

Melia took a quick sidestep when the man came closer to her.

"Watch yourself, shem." She warned, now firmly gripping her remaining blade.

"I wish you no harm, my lady." The man said, his accent thickly Orlesian.

He extended the end of her dagger out.

Warily, Melia took the hilt, guiding it back into its sheath.

"You are the shem from earlier," She said, "You saved Merrill and my cousin from the bandits."

"I did." The man said, straightening himself out, "They are well?"

"Yes," Melia said quickly, "Bruised, but fine."

The man smiled, "Good, good…" He looked at Melia, studying her face, "I saw you the day I brought your Merrill to the camp. I should like your name."

"Not before I have yours."

"Very well," He bowed, "I am Jean-Yves Girard, former court mage of Orlais, and now a wandering artist."

"A Mage?"

"Ah, yes." Jean held out his hands, there was a bright purple light that formed between the two. He clapped them together, and when they came apart once more a glowing butterfly started to flap its wings.

The sparkling butterfly them turned into ten, fluttering playfully around Melia. With a snap of his fingers, Jean made them disappear, leaving only a floating mist of purple shimmering light.

"Now you know who I am. Might I now have the pleasure of your name?" Jean asked.

Melia took her hands away from her weapons, relaxing her stance, "I am Melia'nain Mahariel, of the Sabrae clan."

"As I suspected then." Jean began, "A name just as beautiful as the woman who bears it."

Caught off guard, Melia felt the color rise in her cheeks, "I must get back to my clan."

"As you wish then," Jean said, "But, Lady Mahariel, I would very much like to see you again."

"We shall see." Melia almost sneered, trying to avoid his steely blue gaze.

She backed away slowly, watching Jean quietly disappear into the trees.