#in the meantime: the advice i gave like 2 days ago still stands. take care of each other
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crimeronan · 20 days ago
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hi all, i'm planning to take a short social media break. i wasn't going to announce it in case i give up within 48 hours (and because announcing a social media break is tacky anyway), but if i DO disappear for two-ish weeks as planned, i don't want people to worry. i'll be sparse but not totally unreachable on discord if you have me added there, but i'll be logged out of tumblr entirely. i need to make my life smaller for a little while, as opposed to absorbing the opinions/anger/fear/pain/etc of hundreds of strangers thru a single scrolling session.
if we are friends or friendly here then rest assured i do not dislike you or want to ignore you forever. we can still chat and chill. however right now life needs to be as small as my polycule, my siblings, and my mom. i don't have room for anything else. i will later.
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casspurrjoybell-27 · 1 year ago
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Claimed by the Beast - Chapter 22b
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*Warning Adult Content*
MINE - Part 2
"Five minutes."
"What?"
"We're waiting five more minutes and then we'll go in there together if the Doc hasn't already come out with some news," Josie says, softening her tone. "I got your back, okay? Always."
Knox nods and bites the inside of his jaw to keep from getting choked up.
It's been a long time since he's felt this... low.
This worthless.
This hopeless and utterly exhausted.
Like nothing will ever go right no matter how hard he pushes himself.
The last time he felt like this had been when his mother passed away and that was several years ago.
He'd felt whatever it is that was beyond numb, and the support that he desperately needed was nonexistent.
These days, he feels like he's barely holding on but he's grateful because he doesn't have to go through life's dips alone anymore.
His brothers are great but they're also the opposite of sensitive.
Their advice usually falls along the line of 'You'll get over it, bro. Drink a beer and stop stressing.'
By far, Josie is the best at providing comfort and encouragement.
Knox would always joke about how she should go back to school to become a therapist.
"Oof. Somebody just woke up," Josie giggles, reaching for Knox's hand.
She places it where hers had been on her stomach and his eyes light up when he feels a little kick.
"It still boggles my mind that there's a human being growing in there."
"You ready for them to come out?" Knox asks.
"I don't know. Some days I think I'm ready for motherhood, and some days... I... I feel like a hot mess who doesn't deserve to be anyone's mother," Josie confesses, tears welling up in her eyes. "Sorry. My hormones are all over the place right now."
Knox doesn't have a therapist hat that he can put on, so he's shit at giving advice.
He does the only thing he can think of and pulls Josie in for a brief hug, allowing her to have her moment.
They separate when the door to the bedroom opens and the doctor steps out with his supplies.
"How is he?" Knox blurts out.
"Stressed," Keith answers. "And mildly dehydrated but Mr. Robinson will live to see another day. I gave him my wife's card..."
"Great. You think he's going crazy," Knox mutters, growing uneasy. "This is bullshit."
"No, it's real life. My wife is a licensed psychologist who specializes in trauma, which he exhibits symptoms of," Keith clarifies, defensively. "She can help him. I told Mr. Robinson the first five sessions will be free. She's spoken with a few of you before, so of course everything will be kept off record. Whether Mr. Robinson reaches out or not is up to him but in the meantime, keep fluids in him and... uh, try to keep your 'club business' out of his sight."
Feeling unrightfully judged, Knox narrows his eyes and steps forward with clenched fists.
"Thanks for coming out on such short notice, Doc," Josie moves to stand in front of Knox while waving for Keith to hustle his ass down the hall. "Your money is waiting for you in the kitchen with Gavin. Safe travels back home. Goodbye."
"You all take care now," Keith nods, then speed walks down the hall without looking back.
"I know you're itching to get in there, so tell Everett I'll check on him later," Josie squeezes Knox's arm, pulling his attention back to her. "If you need anything, you know where to find me. And don't forget about what I said earlier..."
"Your sermon is saved, Red," Knox taps at his temple.
They share another hug before she turns around and leaves.
A good portion of the tension that'd been wrecking his body dissipates when he enters his bedroom and sees Everett sitting up going through one of his many shopping bags.
"Hey. You should be resting, not... doing whatever the hell you're doing."
"I've got to find it."
Everett ignores him and continues with his search.
He doesn't hear the door close or the lock switch.
He doesn't acknowledge Knox's presence when he sits on the bed, not until the bag gets snatched away from him.
"Hey. I was..."
"Not resting," Knox interjects, his voice soft but firm. "You should shower and get some sleep. It's been a long fucking day for the both of us."
Everett nods in agreement, breaking eye contact as he nervously fiddles with his hands on his lap.
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "For sneaking off like I did. Today wouldn't have... Everything that happened today is all on me. I almost got my friends killed. I almost got you killed," his voice cracks and his pretty brown eyes glisten with fresh tears.
He quickly wipes them away before they fall.
"I'm sorry for being such a pain in the ass. If you... If you want to send me back home, then I'd understand. I wouldn't hold it against you, I swear."
"Look at me, Everett."
"I am not sending you any fucking where. The thought has never crossed my mind," Knox places his index finger underneath Everett's chin, gently forcing his head up until their eyes meet.
"You're mine, do you hear me? Mine to protect. Mine to care for. Mine to..." the four letter word dies in Knox's throat.
He swallows hard before continuing.
"You're mine, kitten. I'm not letting you go."
'Not Yet.'
"Do you believe me?" Knox asks.
"Yes," Everett responds, reaching for Knox's hand.
He pulls it away from his face to kiss Knox's bruised knuckles.
"Are you in pain right now?"
"I..." Knox's heart swells with emotion at the tender gesture.
He shakes his head.
"I'm fine. How are you feeling?"
He can deal with a few bruised knuckles.
What he can't deal with is Everett's pale appearance and the absence of his smart mouth.
"Doc said you're stressed out, which I get but also dehydrated."
"Yeah, I'm a little lightheaded but other than that, I'm okay. I drank a bottle of water but I probably need to drink a few more before I go to sleep."
Knox nods in agreement.
"I was going to suggest the same thing."
"Also, I don't want to sleep in that other room anymore," Everett confesses. "Want to stay in here with you. Can I?"
Knox smirks.
"I planned to move your shit back in here after you went to sleep, so we're on the same page."
They share a laugh.
"Need you to be honest with me, kitten. Will you?"
Everett nods.
"What's on your mind?"
"I want to know what you and Finn argued about."
Everett doesn't hold anything back as he tells Knox about the argument he had with Finn.
Knox sits quietly and listens, his blank expression giving nothing away.
"I get it now. He was just looking out for you," Everett finishes. "Please don't be pissed at him whenever you see him again, okay? We've already apologized to each other through text. I'm over it."
"I'm not. He never should have let you out of his fucking sight," Knox grumbles.
"I almost knocked his head off with a hot frying pan. I would've let me leave if I were him," Everett laughs.
Knox grunts in response, softening a little.
"Can I have my bag back now? I was looking for something important before you rudely snatched it away."
"Looking for what?" Knox raises a brow, curious.
"I'm not telling you... yet," Everett grins, mischievously. "Now give me the damn bag."
Knox responds with a playful eye roll but does as he's told.
Everett resumes his search, soon letting out a high-pitched squeal when he finds the item that he had been looking for.
"Close your eyes," Everett orders. "Now."
Knox sighs.
"What the hell are you planning?"
"Just close your damn eyes, man."
Knox huffs and obeys, then Everett proceeds to rummage through his pants pockets.
When he finds Knox's keys, they jingle for several seconds and then Everett grabs Knox's left hand to give him the keys back.
Knox can't tell the difference in them until after Everett tells him to open his eyes.
"I saw it and immediately thought of you." Everett holds his breath as he watches Knox inspect the small keychain with a mixture of amusement and affection. "I-I know you're not really an accessories kind of guy, so you don't have to keep it on there if you don't..."
"I love it," Knox lightly traces his thumb along the tiny panda's head, unable to stop the blush from settling in his cheeks. "Can't even remember the last gift I received, so this is..."
A cute little panda with a beaming grin and one paw lifted in greeting.
A simple gift to some but a priceless gift to Knox.
"It means a lot. Thank you."
"You're welcome," Everett can't help but feel a sense of warmth spreading throughout his body.
He figured Knox might get a kick out of the silly keychain and laugh.
Nothing could've prepared Everett for this type of vulnerable reaction.
"There's one more thing I want to give you, though."
Knox finally looks up.
"What's that?"
"Me."
Everett places a hand on Knox's cheek, his heart pounding in his chest as he closes his eyes just before leaning in to press their lips together.
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thebadboyfanclub · 4 years ago
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Lady Of The House Pt. 2 (Henry x Reader)
Heyyyyyy, so I finally finished this part, please let me know if you want to see more of this. Enjoy!
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Part one
-
After the delicious breakfast Henry and (y/n) had he told her that they must attend a charity event that his brother was throwing. She always enjoyed those types of outings with him, she liked the attention and how Henry would proudly show her off and twirl her around the dancefloor, Henry always made her feel wanted and appreciated. However with that type of short notice, she was left running around her wardrobe room with Jennette and Angelina on her side, trying to pick an outfit, it wasn't like she didn't have any, but she always wanted to be perfect, the Cavill family had accepted her but not without difficulties, at the end of the day they all saw her as this little shiny toy Henry would dispose at some point.
"What about this? It still has the tag on it"
Angelina spoke lightly holding up the extravagant green gown Henry had bought her one day, she had mentioned her favorite designer so the next day Henry sent her 8 different gowns that he liked.
Angelina was new to the roaster, Jennette (y/n) quickly came to the realization that a few of the maids and butlers were giving out information about (y/n) to Henry's mom, she was a wonderful lady when (y/n) was around because she saw her as just a girlfriend and not the wife, so they swiftly got replaced. (Y/n) approached Angelina and let her fingers trace the fabric as she turned to look at Jennette.
"Isn't the slit a bit too much for a family event?"
"I think it's finally time for you to make this statement... miss Cavill"
(Y/n) giggled at the name, Jennette liked calling her that as a small joke and a reminder that she is now the lady of this house. (Y/n) was always a big personality but this life made her feel small and uncertain. She bit her lip before she started nodding to herself, Angelina smiled in triumph due to feeling accomplished with finding the dress for (y/n).
"Angelina help miss (y/n) put the dress on, I'll be downstairs if you need me"
"Yes miss jennette"
As (y/n) started to take off her robe to slip on the right dress, jennette walked out of the master bedroom and towards the entrance of the house, that's where Mister Henry was waiting for his lady. Jennette was curious about the reason he had asked to see her privately to talk about (y/n).
she wasn't worried about it though, Jennette had a good feeling about this since everyone could clearly see how madly in love he was with her, he had brought other women home in the past yet they were never introduced to the staff, they had remained anonymous visitors. She slowly walked down the marble stairs while Mister Henry was standing in front of a mirror, fixing his tie.
"You asked to see me sir?"
"Yes Jennette"
His tone of voice was light as a feather, kind and melodic as he finally rearranged himself and took his eyes off his reflection and turned to Jennette who was patiently waiting close to him.
"How's (y/n) been doing?"
"She is finally getting comfortable, Angelina has been helping with making her feel in charge"
Henry slowly nodded as a ghost of a smile on his lips. He remembered how scared she was in the beginning, how she would stutter while talking to the staff or some days she wouldn't even leave the bed until he came home. He could recognize how much she has flourished and rose to the occasion. He was so thankful when (y/n) started to smile while talking to him about Jennette, she needed an ally and now Angelina was another soldier
"I'm going to ask her to marry me"
Jennette gasped in a happy demeanor and started to clap fastly with her fingers while her palms remained together. Henry was aware how close the two of them had grown to become, Lady Jennette has been around his family since he was a young adult, when he first started getting involved in the "family business".
however all his brothers had kids and a wife, (y/n) was the only woman he could see a future with, just the thought of her with a big round belly made him feel all warm and fuzzy, he felt alive next to her and her presence never left his mind, he had a reason to keep living and working. As soon as he had laid eyes on her that night he stayed at the hotel she was working at he just had to have her, it was almost compelling
"Of course you can't tell her"
"I would never dream of such a thing sir"
Before Henry could speak he heard the door of his bedroom open, along with giggles that probably came from Angelina and (y/n). Both of them waited for her to turn the corner and appear.
(Y/n) felt his eyes on her as soon as she stepped at the top of the stairs. Jennette was smiling at the sight of her while Henry remained silent. Angelina helped her lift up her dress ever so slightly so she can take the steps down without a problem. You could hear her heels click on the well polished floor. Ever since she met him the look he gave her every time he saw her was addictive, she felt like the most beautiful woman in the world when he gave her this intense look that scanned her body.
"If the slit is too much I can go change"
"You look stunning my love"
He reassured her and walked to her. His hands immediately found hers and her raised one to his lips to place a gentle kiss on her knuckles while never breaking eye contact. She smiled back and instinctively she filled the space between them so she could hug him, his cologne made her feel safe knowing that he was there was the most comforting idea.
After a few moments she pulled away but their hands remained intertwined. Every single time they had to attend a family event he could sense her anxiety, at any other gala she was right at home but when it came to his family she looked like a kid going through school exams.
"Don't be nervous love"
"I'm not nervous"
She quickly shot back in defense. She could tell that he wasn't convinced, yet he chose to let it go, acknowledging the fact that pushing her more would only do more damage than good. Her hair was down and styled to perfection, her make up was done to bring out her beauty even more, she looked like a true goddess coming to bless the mortals.
"Don't wait for us jennette"
"Yes sir. Have a good night"
-
The car ride was spent by (y/n) looking out the window while her one hand traced her necklace and the other held Henry's, he chose to silently support her. He could comprehend how scary his family could be for an outsider, of course they were nice when she was around but (y/n) was no fool, she noticed the quick side eyes and the few whispers when she turned her back, she only bit her lip and smiled for Henry's sake, as well as the fact that if she wanted to be in this family she had to outsmart them, she was aware that they acted like that because she was the girlfriend, as soon as Henry would propose nobody would dare to say anything, she would officially be a Cavill. It was a shallow reason but she just wanted to be recognized for what she was, a woman that all she did was fall in love.
As the driver opened the door Henry got out first and then he helped (y/n) get out, before she got the chance he slightly kneeled in front of her to fix the end of her dress that touched the floor. His gentle grace of his fingers from her calf that went over her thigh brought goosebumps all over her body.
"I love this dress on you"
"I think you will have to wait until we get back home to show me how much you do"
Henry's reply was to lean down and press a kiss on her naked left shoulder before offering his arm for her to take as they walked in the Mansion as a couple.
(Y/n) felt the awfully familiar tightness in her chest as they entered, people were mingling, the smell of cigars lingered in the air as you could see the smoke in the air, even though the staff had done it's best to open windows and keep the air fresh.
"(Y/n)!"
She heard a woman call her name at a rather enthusiastic tone. As she turned she saw it was Henry's sister in law Chiara. She was dressed in a black dress that was a bit more modest than hers, yet it complimented her delicate figure in such a way that made her look like the glamorous Hollywood stars back in the day. The brunette woman opened her arms and offered (y/n) a warm hug. (Y/n) hugged back, feeling grateful that the host was one of the people in this family that she actually got along with. Chiara had married into the family years ago, she was rather tall and very intimidating, she vividly remembered the story of how Charlie traveled back and forth from the UK to Austria just to get a date with her.
"You look exquisite"
(Y/n) complimented her, Chiara smiled as she gave an up and down look with a smirk on her painted lips.
"Same goes for you dear, the hawk is going to have a heart attack… love it"
Chiara and (y/n) had bonded over how tightly Henry's mother held the strings, Chiara was the first to pull (y/n) aside and warn her that she is like that with anyone however she is all bark and no bite. Many nights have been spent over the phone with Chiara giving advice to (y/n). They were so different yet they found comfort in one another.
"How are you Chiara?"
Henry joined in, he didn't care that Chiara forgot to greet him, quite the opposite he was pleased (y/n) was getting the attention she deserved. Chiara looked at him and in the meantime Charlie started to approach her from behind, (y/n) had to admit that even though she met Chiara while she was married she still felt like Chiara was a single woman, Charlie traveled a lot which Chiara had stated multiple times that it was the reason she was still married to him, she needed her space and craved time alone. So as one can assume that she wasn't really eager to have a baby either.
"I'm well, I'm surprised you guys made it. I thought you had to be in Scotland"
"(Y/n) is not fond of Scotland"
He simply responded. To be fair she thought it was a beautiful country but it was springtime and she wanted to go somewhere with a bit more sun. A waitress approached the two couples and offered champagne, Henry reached for two glasses and offered (y/n) one, Chiara and Charlie were already holding a glass.
"Here you go love"
"Thank you"
"Cheers, to another successful season"
Henry raised his glass while the others followed. As they clinked their glasses and all the group took a sip, the taste of the bubbly drink soothed (y/n)'s nerves, her shoulders started to relax and the tightness on her chest was little to none.
"Where's mom and dad?"
"Oh last time I saw them they were talking to our brother"
"We should go say hello"
"Alright, it was nice seeing you"
(Y/n) said before Chiara leaned in a bit to whisper in her ear "you got this doll".
(Y/n) giggled at her and Chiara just stepped back and gave her a playful wink. Henry's hand found the small of her back before gently guiding her away from the couple, the last glimpse she got off the couple was Chiara turning to say something to her husband as she flipped her long wavy hair back.
(Y/n)'s heart stomped so loud she started feeling the pressure on her ears, out of instinct she clenched her jaw and tried to mask her nervousness. Henry spotted his parents and walked to them, knowing well that (y/n) is already done with the situation and depending on how this goes they might have to leave immediately.
"Henry and (y/n), is so good to see you"
Henry's father, Colin, was the first to greet them with a kind smile on his face. Colin had always been nothing but kind to (y/n), which was surprising to her since she had stereotypically thought that the father would be the hardest one to crack. Colin hugged his son and then proceeded to take (y/n)'s hand and give a kiss on her hand.
"It's good to see you young lady"
"Thank you"
"How are you dear?"
His mother Marianne said before going in for a very forced hug, yet she was grateful they still had a civil type of communication especially around others.
"I'm well, how are you?"
"You've lost weight, I was hoping you would have gained some, oh you would look so cute with a little baby bump"
(Y/n) let out a nervous giggle, not knowing how to answer. They weren't even married, let alone have a baby, she wanted to have kids but she was still young and wanted to enjoy having henry for herself a little longer.
Henry's hand went from the small of her waist to wrapping around her as a way to bring her closer to him. He had heard this over and over again, the only difference was that to him they questioned if she was worthy to bring an heir to the family.
"Not yet mother, I still enjoy seeing her in these tight clothes"
"Henry we are still your parents. He is right Marianne, let them have some fun"
"I'm sure (y/n) can have fun but Henry you are not getting any younger"
(Y/n) was at the edge of just disassociate as her gaze started to focus on a vase behind Marianne. In any other case if this woman was a random stranger she would have popped off and started to insult her. The squeeze she received from Henry's hand pulled her out of her trace. She bit her lip as she tried to find the right thing to say, she wanted kids but the subject of babies was something they hadn't even discussed other than the cheeky comments during sex. The squeeze she received from Henry's hand was enought to bring her out of her trance and now the tightness on her chest was replaced by a fire of anger.
"You know last time you questioned my credibility as a potential wife, so this new situation of wanting me to get pregnant is at least a step"
"Honey I don't know what you are talking about"
"You do, we all do"
She hit back before downing the rest of her drink. Henry smiled in triumph, he was taken back by her boldness on one hand, on the other she held her own and showed the spark he loved to see.
"I think it's time for us to leave. I love you both"
Henry hugged both of his parents and his dad gave (y/n) another kiss on the hand, when she turned to Marianne (y/n) smiled and took her in for a big hug, making Marianne let out a small "oh".
"Water under the bridge… dear"
(Y/n) said at a lower tone before she pulled away and took her spot again next to Henry.
"Have a good night"
Henry said before taking (y/n) away from them. Henry's hand slowly slid from her waist to her bum, he didn't do anything he just let it rest on it. (Y/n) was smart enough to understand that this small change of movement meant that not only was he not mad she responded, he was turned on by her.
"You never seize to amaze me love. I'll call the chauffeur but we got 15 minutes before he arrives"
"Plenty of time to see what decor they have in the bathroom"
Taglist
@the-british-koala @little-smurf @twhstuckylover @angywritesstuff @angelcavill66
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thedeaditeslayer · 6 years ago
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Bruce Campbell Talks Life After Ash And Much More In An Interview.
Bruce Campbell, that’s a name every horror fan knows. The writer/actor/director/producer has been involved in so many iconic films and series. One of the jewels in his crown is The Evil Dead franchise in which he plays the unforgettable character Ashley “Ash” Williams.
His “Ash vs Evil Dead” series premiered back in 2015 on Starz, giving us three seasons of Ash, along with his deadite fighting sidekicks Kelly (Dana DeLorenzo) and Pablo (Ray Santiago) as well as the sometimes evil Ruby (Lucy Lawless).
Fans were heartbroken to learn earlier this year that “Ash vs Evil Dead” wouldn’t return for a fourth season. Soon Bruce announced that Ash had been permanently retired, leaving fans to wonder what was next for the one of a kind, suave, badass.
When I had the opportunity to talk with Bruce I jumped at the chance (and with excitement) to find out what is next for our favorite leading man and ask a few questions that I’ve always wanted to know the answer to.
Horror Fuel: “Among other things, Ash is known for his one-liners, what is your favorite?
Bruce Campbell: “I don’t have one, I leave that up to the pundits. I kind of like one from Evil Dead 2, there’s a demon going ‘I’ll swallow your soul’, and goes ‘swallow this’ and he blows it up with a shotgun. That one I made up, I’m happy with that one. Ash is full of them. Ash vs Evil Dead gave us three new years worth of one-liners. I can’t remember half of them.”
Horror Fuel: “That is a great scene. I really enjoyed Ash vs Evil Dead. Is it true that they used a dead chicken for some of the sound effects in Evil Dead?”
Bruce Campbell: “It was a dead, raw, store-bought chicken. They needed like a fleshy sound. It wasn’t a live chicken that we killed. It left a smelly residual in the studio after a while because it was there for a couple of days. It got a little gnarly. That’s why I wrote a book about it to dispell any myths. In my first Chin Book, I wrote all about the Evil Dead and dispelled any rumors.
Horror Fuel: “Not long after the series ended you announced that you were retiring Ash, How do you feel about that decision now?”
Bruce Campbell: “I retired him so why would I feel bad about it? I feel great about it. It was time. No more dicking around. I don’t want to tease fans anymore. They’ve been teased and tormented for a long time. They wanted more Evil Dead, we gave them thirty episodes, fifteen more hours of the character. Basically, you know what it’s all I got. There is no more I can give the character physically, or mentally, or spiritually. I left it all on the table. The last season almost killed me, to tell the truth. These are difficult shows and movies to make. I’m sixty now. I’m like hey, let’s stop doing this before it gets embarrassing. Ash is supposed to have some physical skills and I’m already declining. Let’s get out before the wheelchair.”
Horror Fuel: “I respect that, I really do. Ash has always been a very physical character. He’s constantly fighting something. I respect that you retired him while he’s still on top.”
Bruce Campbell: “With actors, there is an expiration date. Their eyes go. You can’t hear anymore because of explosions. They’ve got random injuries. There is a perception I think that actors are carried around on a pillow.
Just look at Brandon Frazer, in an interview not long ago they were like ‘What happened to you?’ He was like, ‘What do you mean what happened to me? I got the shit beat out of me making these dumb action movies for years.’ He’s not a little guy, so when he bashed into stuff, that shit’s gonna leave a mark.
That was one of the motivations for retiring Ash. I think that we wrapped it up. We took care of the character. We brought him back fully fleshed him out, used our new skills when presenting that character to the world. Boom, now I can say I’m done. And I’m fully done.”
Horror Fuel: “I understand. He was such a physical character. He was never a character to just show up and just talk, there was always a fight.”
Bruce Campbell: “I would long for those days. In three years of Ash vs Evil Dead, there were probably two scenes where Ash just talked. Normally, when he talked boom, a demon would pop up. So, I’m longing for that type of gig, where I can sit in a room talking.”
Horror Fuel: “Besides Ash, what has been your favorite role to date?”
Bruce Campbell: “I have about a handful, Brisco, Autolycus in Hercules and Xena was fun, Bubba Ho-Tep was fun, a couple of random things. I’ve done some fun ones.”
Horror Fuel: “You’ve been great in so many roles. I loved you as Elvis in Bubba Ho-Tep. You do a mean Elvis impression. I know a lot of fans wonder if we’ll ever see a sequel to Bubba Ho-Tep.”
Bruce Campbell: “No. I’ve already told Don Coscarelli and Joe Lansdale no. I’m out. I’m done with that character too. I thought that the movie was very special. I didn’t care for subsequent scripts. I just pulled out of it. Just let that one be, it’s a little gem of a movie.”
Horror Fuel: “Sometimes sequels can be a bad thing.”
Bruce Campbell: “Sequels can ruin movies sometimes. All you remember is the shitty sequel.”
Horror Fuel: “Can you tell us anything about your role as Gary in the upcoming series Lodge 49?”
Bruce Campbell: “It’s a great part. I was finishing a book tour last year – it started in August and I did thirty-five cities, for my third book. At the end of a book tour you’re throwing up blood, you don’t know what your name is. I was going down to Florida for my last book signing in Tampa. Paul Giamatti contacts me and says ‘Dude you’ve got to play this part. I haven’t been talking to anybody else, I’m not auditioning anybody. You have to do it.” I wasn’t prepared to do anything except sleep for a week. I read the script and it was three episodes for this show Lodge 49. I was like ‘Oh shit. He’s right, I have to do this. So against my better judgment, I went back up to Atlanta. Hopefully, it came out nice. I don’t think my episodes come out until next year.”
Horror Fuel: “We’ll be watching.”
Bruce Campbell: “It’s such a great part.”
Horror Fuel: “Sam Raimi is working on a project with short films. Will you be involved?”
Bruce Campbell: “I don’t know. Sam and I had a fun little excursion recently, but I don’t know. I don’t have any plans to do that but never say never. Sam’s my homie. It’s always fun to be in his stuff.”
Horror Fuel: “You mentioned your books a few minutes ago, any chance we will get another one?”
Bruce Campbell: “I’m working on a new deal with my publisher right now. I’m going to tour and hopefully do twenty cities in 2020 for the new book.”
Horror Fuel: “By any chance can you reveal the title?”
Bruce Campbell: “I can, but I won’t. Things like that can change, then people go ‘[changes voice] What happened to that book Flight of the Pheonix?” No, now it’s named Death Wish 3000. Sometimes titles change.”
Horror Fuel: ” Oh, okay. [laughter] I can’t wait to check it out.”
Bruce Campbell: “It’s part of the new chapter in my life. The new non-Ash chapter of my life, more homegrown material, I want to write new stuff. Over the years I’ve developed a lot of stuff. A dozen different projects, books, movies, TV shows. The other day my wife was like ‘If we don’t start doing this now when are we going to do it? You’re sixty, you’re old.’ That’s the thought behind that.
As far as writing, it’s the most gratifying work I’ve ever done, more than movies. You make a million dollar movie there is a lot of opinions and ideas. Make a really expensive movie there are even more people with opinions, and ideas, and demands. The creative process gets horribly worn down. In the book world, I’ve got one guy, my editor, who reads stuff and gives me feedback. That’s it, one guy. I like that world. The last book I put out, good or bad, it’s a bestseller. We got to number eight. It’s the book I wanted to put out about ninety-eight percent. You make a movie, you’re lucky to get thirty percent of the shit that you like before somebody gets it. A lot of the time in a movie, if you’re a director, you turn it over to the producer and you never see it again. They could cut it into a musical if they want to. People talk about how creative movies are, they’re okay, but being creatively satisfying, nah. They are not that creatively satisfying because they go through so many processes of approval because they cost so much money. It’s much more of a pure artistic experience with writing, I’ll tell you that.”
Horror Fuel: “What type of writing will you be doing? Will there be more books like your previous ones?”
Bruce Campbell: “There will be everything, fiction, nonfiction. It’s fun to mix it up. Then there are movies, I’ve got a couple of scripts, some for TV shows too. Act three has begun.
Horror Fuel: “I can’t wait to see your third act. If they are anything like your first two they’ll be epic. Are you working on any other roles right now?”
Bruce Campbell: “There’s plenty of stuff. Right now I’m working on Tangled, the Disney cartoon. They are doing a TV show. I’m playing the king.”
Horror Fuel: “Hail to the King, baby.”
Bruce Campbell: “It’s fun to do voice stuff. There’s an Evil Dead video game coming too. There will be more of that. There are things that are there and that will happen, but aren’t worth talking about yet.
In the meantime, I’m doing my game show Last Fan Standing. We’ve got about half a dozen events coming up, everywhere from Berkeley, California to Denver. I’m doing this game show for geeks, Last Fan Standing. I’m in the game show phase of my career now [laughter]. It’s keeping me busy and I’m still doing conventions as well.”
Horror Fuel: That sounds fun. What’s your next stop and where can fans find your convention schedule?”
Bruce Campbell: “Horror Hound, but I have a website. Anybody can always go there.”
Horror Fuel: “If you could go back and give your younger self some advice, what would it be?”
Bruce Campbell: “I don’t take advice and I try not to give advice because it’s so meaningless. Even if I did tell my younger self I think I still would have done my own damn thing anyway.  The film business is so topsy-turvy. It’s a strange world. There’s no advice that really holds any water. The best advice I would tell any actor is that no one is going to do anything for you.
Thank god for Twitter. Thank god for Facebook. That’s your way of saying hey to the world. Think you got talent? Make a video and put it on YouTube, start your own YouTube channel. There’s really no excuse for people to not get their stuff seen. Back in my day, before social media, how the hell would they know who you are? If it wasn’t in newspapers or magazines no one would see it when I started. Now you can go into your backyard and make a dumb movie and put it on YouTube or Twitter. It’s easier now for people to sell their wares. But you know what, at the end of the day, show me a lazy person and I’ll show you someone who is going to fail. It’s that simple. If you’re a lazy actor don’t come crying to me. There are always ways that you can get out there. You want to act? Call your local community theater and find out when they are doing Little Abner and go audition. How hard is that? It’s not that big of a deal.
On social media, there are certain topics that you just don’t touch. These days you can lose half your fans with just one Tweet. These days you can lose your whole career with just one Tweet. You have to be careful man. Don’t be drunk Tweeting or Ambien Tweeting. There’s your advice, beware of social media.”
Horror Fuel: “That makes a lot of sense. We’ve seen a lot of people in the news lately who have gotten in trouble over Tweets. ”
While you’re waiting for Bruce Campbell’s next film, series or book, be sure to check out the long list of his past work, including his books which are best described as “groovy”.
Follow Bruce on Facebook and Twitter. Stay up to date on all of his projects and to learn more about “Last Fan Standing” please visit his official website, where you can also find the schedule of his upcoming appearances and so much more. Meet the legend himself at the Fandemic Comic-Con running September 14th through the 16th in Houston, Texas (get your tickets HERE).
Don’t miss Bruce in “Lodge 49” premiering on AMC on August 6, 2018.
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activekidney73-blog · 6 years ago
Text
Earl Grey Gluten-Free Bundt Cake with Blood Orange Icing
This gluten-free bundt cake recipe is infused with earl grey tea and topped with bright pink blood orange icing. The perfect floral citrus cake for a Spring brunch or garden party! The cake gets malty black tea notes with floral bergamot and a bright pop of blood orange.
The real truth behind this earl grey gluten-free bundt cake is that I made two batches of earl grey baked cake donuts before deciding I’d rather just have cake. So that’s what this earl grey bundt cake is: a giant baked cake donut. Except little sweeter with more of the soft fluffy inside crumb. In other words, more of the good stuff. Unlike donuts, bundt cakes serve a crowd too, making it the perfect floral tea cake for Spring brunch or garden party. 
And if you forget the cake knife, you should just invite my mom. I found a knife in her purse the other day. A cheap butter knife that didn’t match her kitchen collection. 
When I pulled it out, she told me it wasn’t hers (sure, mom). BUT THEN she told me how my 3-year-old found the knife the day before in my mom’s car cup holder while she was installing Zoella’s car seat. (Um, that’s not a better explanation, mom.)
It gets better. While out to lunch a few weeks ago, she grabbed a napkin and silverware from the front counter. When she got to the table, she couldn’t find her knife. So she got another. The first knife had apparently slipped out of her hand and landed in her purse, where she discovered it while paying at the grocery store a few days later. (So you’re saying you have a stolen knife in your purse that you wield at grocery store clerks, mom?). 
So the knife has just been going back and forth between her car and her purse until she can return it to the restaurant. (Update from my mom: it’s still in her purse even though she’s been back to the restaurant several times…don’t bring her anywhere).
In the meantime, someone invite her to a party with cake so she can pull out her knife like a true hero. 
How to infuse an earl grey cake with tea
There are two ways to infuse a cake with tea: steep earl grey tea in the dairy or fat, or mix ground up tea leaves into the batter. The grinding approach is much like baking with matcha, but with black tea leaves.
I’m using the ground up tea method for this earl grey cake. When I tried steeping the tea in milk, the flavor just didn’t carry through when baked. It was too subtle, and when topped with icing, hidden. A nod to earl grey, at best.
Earl grey is a tea blend infused with the oil of the rind of a bergamot orange. In an earl grey cake recipe, I want to taste malty black tea. I want the bright floral bergamot notes to come through. So wipe out your coffee grinder and grind some earl grey tea leaves with me.
Tips for making a gluten-free bundt cake
Even though��Alanna and I have baked and styled plenty of bundt cakes for The New York Times, I’ve always been terrified of baking a gluten-free bundt cake. What if it stuck in the pan and all that work was for not? Sure, I could eat the ruined bundt straight out of the pan with a fork or turn it into a trifle. Still, the thought of that happening gave me anxiety. Nope. No thanks.
When I finally decided it was time to dust off my bundt pans and try a gluten-free bundt cake, I turned to Alanna. She has the most beautiful blueberry lemon verbena bundt in her cookbook Alternative Baker. And she recently adapted the ratios from my chocolate cake recipe into a captivating ganache-topped gluten-free chocolate bundt cake. I wanted that kind of success and needed advice on making sure my cake didn’t stick in the pan. Here’s what she suggested:
Butter the crap out of your bundt pan. 
You heard her. Do it. You want the soft butter that is still thick and creamy like the consistency of mayonnaise. Use a pastry brush to get into all the corners of your bundt pan. Don’t skimp on the butter – you want to see it on the bundt pan. Then dust the whole pan in a layer of oat flour, tapping the pan around to coat. 
Buttering the pan does two things. It ensures your cake will easily release from the pan. It also creates a golden brown shell on the outside of the cake that holds in the moisture so your bundt won’t dry out. 
Gluten-Free Cake Recipe
Since a bundt pan is so deep, your gluten-free cake recipe needs to account for a longer baking time. Without the proper flour ratios and fat, the outside of the cake can over bake before the center is done. Here’s what you need:
The Flour
This gluten-free cake batter has a higher ratio of oat flour and sweet rice flour than my basic gluten-free vanilla cake recipe. These two flours work together to keep the crumb moist and tender without getting gummy. I’ve added a bit of xanthan gum to the cake, which helps with texture, but if you need to leave it out, the cake will still be delicious, just moderately more dense!
The Fat
I’ve swapped in creme fraiche or sour cream in place of milk. The higher fat content adds moisture and loads of flavor to the cake. I always use creme fraiche because I love the rich tangy depth it adds to the cake, but you can use sour cream in a pinch. 
The Bake
As a butter-based cake, the other key to baking a perfectly moist gluten-free bundt is perfecting the bake time. Left in too long, butter cakes tend to dry out quicker. Your cake is done when it springs back when pressed in the middle. A toothpick should come out dry or with a few moist crumbs. Trust when it’s done.
This is important: the cake should still seem moist in the center, but is done when your finger print no long leaves an indent when pressed. The bundt will continue to cook a bit once it comes out of the oven. 
How to make blood orange icing for a bundt cake?
Adding a shell of icing will also work to trap in moisture to make sure your cake doesn’t dry out. A properly cooked and iced bundt can sit out on the counter with a thin piece of plastic wrap for a day or two without drying out, save for the very very thin layer of any exposed cut slices. 
The hot pink blood orange icing transforms the cake into a piece of art. If your icing is too thin, it won’t stick on the cake and gravity will prevail with pools of icing inside and all over the plate. You want the icing just thin enough that it will slowly pour in thick streams. Thicker than you’d expect.
When you pick up your whisk you want a drizzle of icing to stay on the surface of the bowl for about 10 seconds before it starts to melt back into the icing. You can also test by pouring a small spoonful right on top of the bundt and let it sit for a minute to see how it drizzles. If your icing is too thin, add more powdered sugar. If it’s too thick, add just a drop more blood orange juice until you get the ideal consistency.
The color of the blood orange glaze depends on the color of your blood oranges. If yours are a little more orange and light pink than burgundy, your glaze will turn out more pale pink, but equally as delicious! We’re at the tail end of blood orange season right now, so when you can’t find them at the market, fresh orange juice will work too! 
Can I make this gluten-free cake recipe as a vanilla bundt cake?
Absolutely! Just leave out the earl grey and add an extra teaspoon of vanilla extract. You can even sub in milk and 1/4 teaspoon vanilla paste for a vanilla icing. 
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Yield: 1 10-cup bundt cake
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 50 minutes
Total Time: 1 hour 5 minutes
This gluten-free bundt cake recipe is infused with earl grey tea and topped with bright pink blood orange glaze. The perfect floral citrus cake for a Spring brunch or garden party! The cake gets malty black tea notes with floral bergamot and a bright pop of blood orange. 
Ingredients
Earl Grey Gluten-Free Bundt Cake
1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature, plus 2 tablespoons more tablespoons for the pan
1 cup + 2 tablespoons (190g) sweet rice flour or glutinous rice flour
1 cup + 1 tablespoon (142g) gluten-free oat flour, plus 2 tablespoons more for the pan
¾ cup (108g) millet flour
2 teaspoons ground earl grey tea (*see note)
½ teaspoon xanthan gum (**see note)
1 tablespoon baking powder
¾ teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup + 1 tablespoon (220g) cane sugar
¼ cup (58g) light brown sugar
4 large eggs, room temperature
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup crème fraiche or sour cream
Blood Orange Icing
2 cups powdered sugar
2-3 tablespoons freshly squeezed blood orange juice (***see note)
½ teaspoon honey (optional but will help the icing glisten when it dries)
Instructions
Preheat the oven to 350°F. Soften 2 tablespoons of butter so it is the consistency of thick mayonnaise then use a pastry brush to brush a thick layer of butter on the inside of a 10-cup bundt pan with butter, taking care to get butter in all the nooks and crannies. Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of oat flour into the pan and rotate and tap the pan to dust the entire inside with flour. Tap the pan upside down to remove excess flour.
In a medium bowl, sift together the sweet rice flour, oat flour, millet flour, ground, earl grey, xanthan gum, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Set aside.
In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment or a bowl with a hand mixer, cream together the butter and sugar over medium speed until light and fluffy, about 3-5 minutes.
With the mixer on low-speed, add the vanilla extract then the eggs, one at a time, mixing after each one until just combined.
Keeping the speed on low, slowly add the dry ingredients in two batches, adding the creme fraiche in between, mixing until just combined.
Pour the batter into the prepared baking 10 cup bundt pan and use a rubber spatula to spread it into an even layer. The batter will be very thick so you will need to spread it out to smooth the top. Give the pan a few taps on the counter to loosen any air bubbles.
Bake for 45-50 minutes until the cake springs back when pressed in the middle and a toothpick comes out dry or with a few moist crumbs. The cake should still seem moist in the center, but is done when your finger print no long stays when pressed.
Remove from oven and let cool for 10 minutes in the pan. Cover the top of the pan with a cake plate and, holding onto both, invert it to remove it from the pan. If needed, tap the plate on the counter a few times to release the bundt from the pan. Let cool while you prepare the glaze.
Sift the powdered sugar into a medium bowl. Add 2 tablespoons blood orange juice and 1/2 teaspoon honey. Whisk to combine. Add 1/4 teaspoon blood orange juice at a time as needed until your glaze is smooth, but still very thick. When you pick up your whisk you want a drizzle of icing to stay on the surface of the bowl for about 10 seconds before it starts to melt back into the icing. If your icing is too thin, add more powdered sugar. If it's too thick, add more blood orange juice until you get the ideal consistency.
Once the cake has cooled to the touch, Pour the glaze over the bundt cake. Serve warm or room temperature. The cake can sit out unsliced for a day, but once sliced, keep any leftovers in an airtight container on the counter for up to three days.
Notes
*To grind earl grey tea, start with loose leaf or tea bags and grind it in a clean coffee grinder. For 2 teaspoons, you'll need about 3 tea bags worth of tea or 1-2 tablespoons loose leaf. Since you're consuming the actual tea leaves, I recommend using an organic earl grey tea.
**You can leave out the xanthan gum if needed, but the result is a slightly more dense cake.
***If you can't find blood oranges, fresh orange juice will work too! Or sub in milk with a 1/4 teaspoon vanilla bean paste. 
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Source: https://www.snixykitchen.com/earl-grey-gluten-free-bundt-cake-blood-orange-icing/
0 notes
djsamaha-blog · 7 years ago
Text
6 Things My Heroes Taught Me About Overcoming Hard Times
“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” ~Christopher Reeve
It all happened so suddenly that it felt just like a flash flood. One minute the road was clear and drivable, and the next it was a raging river. Before I knew what happened, my life went from being only slightly a mess to being a complete mess, my car teetering on the edge of the water, ready to go for a swim at any minute.
I had left a job I liked and found a job I thought I would love, but didn’t end up loving at all.
I had hurt a good friend who was extremely important to me, and is now out of my life for the most part.
I felt like a financial mess from constantly playing catch up and living paycheck to paycheck, and I was going to have to move out of an apartment and town I really loved.
It’s funny how when even just one thing is going great, all the other things that aren’t going so hot are manageable. But if nothing is okay, then everything seems insurmountable and completely overwhelming.
Faced with more doom and gloom than I could stand, I wanted to melt into my bed and never get back up. And honestly, for a few days I did.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone about what was going on. I didn’t want to admit defeat or ask for help. Even my very best friends only knew bits and pieces of what was going on inside my head. And honestly, the one person I would have bared my soul to, the person who I always ran to with stuff like this, was no longer speaking to me.
So now what? I realized that if I didn’t want to talk to the people who inspired me most, I could still apply what I had learned from them. They had taught me so much over the years through their advice, and their example, that through them, I found my way.
1. You can cry for five minutes and then you have to put your big girl pants on and deal with it.
One of my best friends, and someone whose strength I really admire, taught me that life isn’t going to wait for you to have a pity party; it’s going to go on without you.
She always says to her kids and friends, “Where does crying get you? Nowhere.” So, while it’s okay to cry a little and allow yourself some much-needed time to wallow, eventually that has to end.
Spend a weekend in bed with some feel-good movies and junk food, journal your feelings, take a long hot bath, cry and scream into your pillow, and indulge in some self-care and pampering. But don’t get stuck there. It is so easy to get stuck there.
Give yourself a cut off time to pull it together and start to figure out how you are going to get through this bump in the road. Becoming a blubbering mess isn’t an option, as tempting as it is.
2. Laughter is the best medicine.
You have to have a sense of humor about your situation. Laughter can bring down blood pressure and relieve stress. You’d be doing yourself and your health a favor to find some humor each day in the ridiculousness that you are going through. There’s even something called laughter yoga, which in and of itself is funny, but honestly, they are on to something. Have you ever felt bad after a good laugh?
If you’re so miserable you can’t think of anything funny, don’t go it alone. Hang out with a friend who can usually make you laugh, or call someone who does the same. I usually call my mom because she inspired this advice, and every time we talk about the crazy stuff going on in our lives, we always end up laughing about it.
3. What you did before won’t work now if you want a different outcome.
These next three pearls of wisdom, about taking action and setting goals, come from a mentor and dear friend who’s advised me over the years.
You have cried, you have laughed, and now it’s time to think about how you got here.
True, some situations are completely unavoidable, and life can deal us some horrible blows we could not have anticipated. However, if you contributed to your current situation, even in the smallest way, you have to reflect on what got you there.
That shouldn’t take long—it should be glaringly obvious where you went wrong—but the key here is to actually change that behavior. That’s the hard part, and honestly, something that has to be continuously worked on.
I eventually realized that I needed to change my impulsive decision making after it caused me to lose a relationship that was very dear to me, among other things. Consciously making the decision to work on it daily, and seeing the change that choice has made in my life gave me back a sense of pride, and makes the sting of that mistake more bearable.
However, it’s easy to do this while in the midst of dealing with the fallout of a miscalculation or mistake. You think, man I’ll never do that again, what was I thinking? I’m going to change! But then when all is right with the world and these troubles are a distant memory, you can slip back into old habits.
Unless you make a commitment to stay aware and work daily to change, and stay changed for the better, you will find yourself back here again, and again, and again.
4. A plan is only good if it is actionable, and you take action.
As you start to feel better, you will want to come up with a plan. It’s amazing how empowering it is to tackle the problem head on and figure out what outcome you want and what you need to do to get there. But is it realistic? Is it something that will make your current situation and your future better?
Here’s a tip: It shouldn’t be the first plan you think of. Usually that one is the easiest, “the quick solve,” and it won’t get you where you want to be in the long run. You have to think long and hard about what you really want, how you feasibly can get there, and if it is doable at this time with the resources you have.
Make sure your working toward what you want every day, and tweaking as you go if it starts to look like you aren’t making any headway. Checking in with yourself and staying grounded will help you stick to the plan and see success.
Usually when I make a plan I think a lot about what I want, not necessarily what I need. I decided to keep my head out of the clouds this time, and made a more realistic plan then I usually would have.
I had to accept some unwelcome changes (moving, new financial situation, loss), but knew those things were necessary to be successful this time around. In the process I found a new career I love, and am on my way to overcoming months of remorse over past situations.
5. Suck it up and do what you have to do to get where you want to be.
A few years ago, the good friend and mentor I mentioned earlier suggested that, to catch up on bills and get out from behind my current financial situation, I should give up my car. That way I would save money by not having a monthly car or insurance payment. After a few months of saving and catching up I could buy a used car outright. She suggested taking the bus and getting rides from friends when needed in the meantime.
Aghast, I told her there was no way I could do that.
“Why not? Because it would be too hard?” she had pointedly asked.
I just told her I wasn’t willing to give up my car, and instead, decided on a quick solve that fixed the problem for the moment, but not in the long run. I never got to exactly where I wanted to be financially.
Now looking back, I see the wisdom in what she was suggesting. Sometimes we need to make a sacrifice and do something unpleasant to get to a better future.
Nothing worthwhile comes by walking an easy, breezy path, and it shouldn’t. I thought about this a lot when recently deciding to move somewhere much cheaper so I could save money and catch up. Sure, it wasn’t what I wanted to do, but it was necessary to get on the right track.
It can be really hard to decide to bite the bullet and do something difficult that you really don’t want to do, but once your through it on the other side you will be glad, and proud, that you did.
6. Keep believing that the best is yet to come.
It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how wrong things have gone, there’s always potential for a better tomorrow. It’s not going to stay this way forever; it can’t. Don’t get so bogged down in the misery of today that you forget to get excited for the future, and what you’re doing to make it a good one.
A close friend and soul sister of mine had a bumper sticker that read: Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen. She helps remind me that you have to keep the hope inside you alive, because nothing is so far gone that it cant be fixed, or grow into something new and better. In the meantime, life is passing you by.
Find some good in your day and appreciate it in between all the wallowing, planning, and doing. You don’t want to miss out on months of your life because something bad happened and now that has become your entire focus.
It could even be something as small as a walk with your dog, or the smell of fresh air blowing in through your window. Every day has something to enjoy, even for a moment, before we get back to going hard after our goals.
About Kristin Rupert
Kristin Rupert is Virginia native who found her way to Massachusetts and stayed. She is a graduate of the school of life, and an expert mistake maker. Writing about what she has lived and learned gives her the opportunity to help and inspire others who find themselves in similar situations. Follow her on Instagram here.
See a typo, an inaccuracy, or something offensive? Please contact us so we can fix it!
http://www.successwize.com/6-things-my-heroes-taught-me-about-overcoming-hard-times/
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sarahburness · 7 years ago
Text
6 Things My Heroes Taught Me About Overcoming Hard Times
“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” ~Christopher Reeve
It all happened so suddenly that it felt just like a flash flood. One minute the road was clear and drivable, and the next it was a raging river. Before I knew what happened, my life went from being only slightly a mess to being a complete mess, my car teetering on the edge of the water, ready to go for a swim at any minute.
I had left a job I liked and found a job I thought I would love, but didn’t end up loving at all.
I had hurt a good friend who was extremely important to me, and is now out of my life for the most part.
I felt like a financial mess from constantly playing catch up and living paycheck to paycheck, and I was going to have to move out of an apartment and town I really loved.
It’s funny how when even just one thing is going great, all the other things that aren’t going so hot are manageable. But if nothing is okay, then everything seems insurmountable and completely overwhelming.
Faced with more doom and gloom then I could stand, I wanted to melt into my bed and never get back up. And honestly, for a few days I did.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone about what was going on. I didn’t want to admit defeat or ask for help. Even my very best friends only knew bits and pieces of what was going on inside my head. And honestly, the one person I would have bared my soul to, the person who I always ran to with stuff like this, was no longer speaking to me.
So now what? I realized that if I didn’t want to talk to the people who inspired me most, I could still apply what I had learned from them. They had taught me so much over the years through their advice, and their example, that through them, I found my way.
1. You can cry for five minutes and then you have to put your big girl pants on and deal with it.
One of my best friends, and someone whose strength I really admire, taught me that life isn’t going to wait for you to have a pity party; it’s going to go on without you.
She always says to her kids and friends, “Where does crying get you? Nowhere.” So, while it’s okay to cry a little and allow yourself some much-needed time to wallow, eventually that has to end.
Spend a weekend in bed with some feel-good movies and junk food, journal your feelings, take a long hot bath, cry and scream into your pillow, and indulge in some self-care and pampering. But don’t get stuck there. It is so easy to get stuck there.
Give yourself a cut off time to pull it together and start to figure out how you are going to get through this bump in the road. Becoming a blubbering mess isn’t an option, as tempting as it is.
2. Laughter is the best medicine.
You have to have a sense of humor about your situation. Laughter can bring down blood pressure and relieve stress. You’d be doing yourself and your health a favor to find some humor each day in the ridiculousness that you are going through. There’s even something called laughter yoga, which in and of itself is funny, but honestly, they are on to something. Have you ever felt bad after a good laugh?
If you’re so miserable you can’t think of anything funny, don’t go it alone. Hang out with a friend who can usually make you laugh, or call someone who does the same. I usually call my mom because she inspired this advice, and every time we talk about the crazy stuff going on in our lives, we always end up laughing about it.
3. What you did before won’t work now if you want a different outcome.
These next three pearls of wisdom, about taking action and setting goals, come from a mentor and dear friend who’s advised me over the years.
You have cried, you have laughed, and now it’s time to think about how you got here.
True, some situations are completely unavoidable, and life can deal us some horrible blows we could not have anticipated. However, if you contributed to your current situation, even in the smallest way, you have to reflect on what got you there.
That shouldn’t take long—it should be glaringly obvious where you went wrong—but the key here is to actually change that behavior. That’s the hard part, and honestly, something that has to be continuously worked on.
I eventually realized that I needed to change my impulsive decision making after it caused me to lose a relationship that was very dear to me, among other things. Consciously making the decision to work on it daily, and seeing the change that choice has made in my life gave me back a sense of pride, and makes the sting of that mistake more bearable.
However, it’s easy to do this while in the midst of dealing with the fallout of a miscalculation or mistake. You think, man I’ll never do that again, what was I thinking? I’m going to change! But then when all is right with the world and these troubles are a distant memory, you can slip back into old habits.
Unless you make a commitment to stay aware and work daily to change, and stay changed for the better, you will find yourself back here again, and again, and again.
4. A plan is only good if it is actionable, and you take action.
As you start to feel better, you will want to come up with a plan. It’s amazing how empowering it is to tackle the problem head on and figure out what outcome you want and what you need to do to get there. But is it realistic? Is it something that will make your current situation and your future better?
Here’s a tip: It shouldn’t be the first plan you think of. Usually that one is the easiest, “the quick solve,” and it won’t get you where you want to be in the long run. You have to think long and hard about what you really want, how you feasibly can get there, and if it is doable at this time with the resources you have.
Make sure your working toward what you want every day, and tweaking as you go if it starts to look like you aren’t making any headway. Checking in with yourself and staying grounded will help you stick to the plan and see success.
Usually when I make a plan I think a lot about what I want, not necessarily what I need. I decided to keep my head out of the clouds this time, and made a more realistic plan then I usually would have.
I had to accept some unwelcome changes (moving, new financial situation, loss), but knew those things were necessary to be successful this time around. In the process I found a new career I love, and am on my way to overcoming months of remorse over past situations.
5. Suck it up and do what you have to do to get where you want to be.
A few years ago, the good friend and mentor I mentioned earlier suggested that, to catch up on bills and get out from behind my current financial situation, I should give up my car. That way I would save money by not having a monthly car or insurance payment. After a few months of saving and catching up I could buy a used car outright. She suggested taking the bus and getting rides from friends when needed in the meantime.
Aghast, I told her there was no way I could do that.
“Why not? Because it would be too hard?” she had pointedly asked.
I just told her I wasn’t willing to give up my car, and instead, decided on a quick solve that fixed the problem for the moment, but not in the long run. I never got to exactly where I wanted to be financially.
Now looking back, I see the wisdom in what she was suggesting. Sometimes we need to make a sacrifice and do something unpleasant to get to a better future.
Nothing worthwhile comes by walking an easy, breezy path, and it shouldn’t. I thought about this a lot when recently deciding to move somewhere much cheaper so I could save money and catch up. Sure, it wasn’t what I wanted to do, but it was necessary to get on the right track.
It can be really hard to decide to bite the bullet and do something difficult that you really don’t want to do, but once your through it on the other side you will be glad, and proud, that you did.
6. Keep believing that the best is yet to come.
It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how wrong things have gone, there’s always potential for a better tomorrow. It’s not going to stay this way forever; it can’t. Don’t get so bogged down in the misery of today that you forget to get excited for the future, and what you’re doing to make it a good one.
A close friend and soul sister of mine had a bumper sticker that read: Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen. She helps remind me that you have to keep the hope inside you alive, because nothing is so far gone that it cant be fixed, or grow into something new and better. In the meantime, life is passing you by.
Find some good in your day and appreciate it in between all the wallowing, planning, and doing. You don’t want to miss out on months of your life because something bad happened and now that has become your entire focus.
It could even be something as small as a walk with your dog, or the smell of fresh air blowing in through your window. Every day has something to enjoy, even for a moment, before we get back to going hard after our goals.
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from Tiny Buddha https://tinybuddha.com/blog/6-things-my-heroes-taught-me-about-overcoming-hard-times/
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