#in the meantime I've been writing and plotting out all the ideas I want to work on next <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[spaceratprodigy]

Will You Change The Station? 🎙📻 📡

I really was gonna make a new drawing for them but for the time being I'm just gonna keep progressively fucking up this one image bc it makes me laugh ✏

Hiram leaned away, grunting at the interruption emanating from his terminal that was letting him know he had an incoming call.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were expecting someone to.." Faith gestured her hand towards the source of the sound instead of finishing her sentence.

Hiram stood up and began making his way across the room, taking his time as he was in no rush. His eyes became unwelcoming at the thought of having to answer the person on the line.

"No. It's not business related, if that's what you're inferring. But," he sucked his teeth "I was expecting this call sooner or later. Considering you're here, after all."

"What does that-"

"Really?" Hiram jabbed, before she could finish her sentence. The man stopping in place to turn and face her now. He softened his tone, immediately regretting how harshly he may have came off a moment ago.

"Did you honestly think your vicar in shining vestments was going to sit idly by while you ran away to my doorstep yet again?"

"How are you so certain it's him and not anyone else from my crew?" Faith said, her eye contact starting to waver.

Hiram noticed.

"While it is true you're not where you're supposed to be, according to them. I do know for certain, however, that when it comes to you, he'd be first in line to wring my neck–" Hiram sipped from the glass he still held in his hand.

"Even before Nyoka, who is very upset with me right now. She was vehemently against my wanting to see you again."

Faith was no longer looking at Hiram.

"Why would Max even care that I'm here?" Her words finally slipped out, hanging on her tongue longer than she would have liked.

"He made it very clear to me that all I was to him was a pawn in his stupid fucking revenge scheme," she didn't want Hiram to see her eyes starting to betray her "and that everything I felt was one sided.." her voice turned soft, the words barely finding their way out.

Hiram returned, sitting down on the edge of Faith's seat. "My dear, you and I both know that was his biggest lie yet."

"I just.. I don't understand why he would say all of that to me.. especially after.." countless memories of Max filled her thoughts. Every smile, every laugh, every touch they shared "after becoming so close.."

"Faith, that man wouldn't have shown you such an intimate side of himself if he hadn't meant it."

She let out a sigh, wanting to rest her head on Hiram's shoulder, but not allowing herself to share that kind of familiarity with him right now.

Hiram had stiffened when Faith drifted a little closer towards him, feeling a pang in his chest when he could see she was fighting her instincts. His skin grew hot as he tried to fidget with his collar without being noticed.

She did.

Faith felt a yearning deep inside of her. A hollow loneliness she wanted to fill. Wanting to be held, wanting her hair to be played with, craving any kind of comfort.

Her leg began to bounce, fingers tapping at her own glass anxiously trying to distract herself.

She knew Hiram would indulge her, she knew he planted a seed in her heart that couldn't be removed anymore. What she knew most of all, was that he wasn't the person she really wanted right now.

The closeness was stirring the pair up. Finally, Hiram cleared his throat. Trying to find himself again after getting lost in his mind full of what-if's.

"I.." he was trying to pick up where they left off "I don't know what was going through his head, but I think pushing you away was the last thing he actually wanted."

Hiram's eyes rested on Faith. As much as he couldn't stand Max, he cared very deeply about his new friend.

"He had plenty of opportunities before you reached Fallbrook to be honest with you about his intentions. I can only assume he panicked in the heat of the moment when it all finally blew up in his face and he realized the weight of the consequences."

Faith let out a brief, bitter laugh. "He said he couldn't risk me not bringing him there if I knew what he was really planning."

Hiram took another swig from his glass.

"See, that right there is the problem" he stood up now, the air feeling colder than it was on the shared seat "what an infuriating thing for someone to get blinded by. Throwing a tantrum over an old book he can't even read and OSI bullshit."

Hiram lingered next to Faith a little longer, not wanting to disturb their time together.

"I do mean it, I think once it was too late he finally had a moment of clarity and understood how ridiculous he was behaving."

Faith finally locked eyes with him, wanting to speak but struggling to find the words she really wanted.

There was a heavy silence between them, only being broken by the sound of the persisting terminal.

Hiram could tell what she was thinking just by looking at her.

"I don't know why that was his reaction. After seeing how much he had just hurt you, it's hard to imagine he wasn't ashamed with himself and the distance being the only way he could think to keep from hurting you any further."

They both knew it was the distance that had absolutely shattered her. Hiram sighed, knowing what it would mean in the long run to suggest what he was about to say.

"Faith, the two of you need to actually face each other and talk about it. Whether or not you want to keep trying to avoid it, you both mean a lot to one another. Between this talk and my terminal over there that won't shut the hell up, it's obvious neither of you really want to be apart."

Faith felt a shred of guilt in her heart hearing it come from Hiram's voice. She cared very deeply for him, she truly did. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him, but he was right.

She would always want Max more.

Hiram finally continued his path to answer the call that had been waiting for him, hoping he could hide the pain that was trying to creep it's way onto his face.

"He probably agreed you deserve better" he tacked on, not speaking directly to her but being loud enough she knew he wanted it to be heard.

Faith was looking at her hands now, eyes glued to her own still-full glass. She swirled the liquid, contemplating Hiram's hypothesis of the situation. She wondered if Max really was afraid that he'd just keep hurting her by being around, knowing she'd never be the one to want him to leave.

She sat her glass on the nearest table, never taking a single sip.

[mynameismad]

What have I been up to?????

Hey all! I'm sure you're all cycling rapidly through the stages of grief like I am, but I thought I'd just check in and let everyone know what's going on with me and when they can expect more comics!

GOOD NEWS: I got a concept art job! I've been working freelance for a client for about two months now and things are going great! Honestly working on short assignments with weekly deadlines has been an amazing break from the slow, constant march of longform comics. I am surprising myself every day and haven't been this excited to learn and grow as an artist in a very long time. Moving forward, I would like to find a full time job in games and stay there, rather than continuing to hustle full-time in comics. I've paused my Patreon for the foreseeable future.

THAT BEING SAID: I will always be making comics!!!!!! I love them a lot, they've been good to me, and I have all these ideas in my head that NEED to be let out. I want to start making them in my own time, rather than as my main source of income. We'll see how long it takes to find true stability in concept (maybe never, lol) but in the meantime I will keep drawing my silly little guys and posting them online for everyone to see. I have to! I have to keep going and making the art I want to see in the world! We have to keep going!!!!

SAKANA: hoping to get back to the fish boys sooner rather than later. I've been stuck on whether to end the latest chapter right away or get a few more pages in there. We're moving into a HEAVY part of the plot, which will be trickier to write, so I've been procrastinating lol. Please don't take my extended absence as proof that I'm walking away from the story: I've just been busy with a new job and I don't know exactly how to get to the next chapter yet!! (also, jsyk, the Webtoon mirror is something I was doing for fun! not a priority!!)

RR: I actually have a few different projects started for RR! Chapter 2 is like 9 pages in, but then I paused and started work on a 20ish page minicomic, which is like 7 pages in. I'm going to finish the mini first and hopefully upload it to itch.io. For Chapter 2, I created this really elaborate environment in an effort to force myself to learn Blender, but then I got a job....so I have no time to learn Blender lol. Still trying to figure out whether to simplify or push forward.

OTHER: yeah...I am a comic artist at heart so obviously I have a million things I want to do. But SAKANA and RR are the highest priority right now!

UPCOMING: I am pursuing other freelance work for shorter, more manageable projects! If you need somebody to redline all your thumbnails, critique the first draft of your synopsis, or make a 20-40 page comic, please keep me in mind!

In closing: I'm locking my twitter accounts tonight and moving away from the platform for now. I'll be here, Instagram (@/mad_rupert), and BlueSky (@/madrupert). Thanks for sticking with me, let's hold onto and support each other in the coming weeks, months, and years! Let's keep going!!!!! I love you all so much!!!

[pneumaticshift]

Hello! I’m loving your best laid plans on ao3! The way you write the two is such a fun dynamic and they both com across as such meshed out people in your writing with very different dispositions. I was wondering if you had anymore stories of them in mind now that you’re wrapping that one up? I’d love to read more fics where Hal gets to be competent or shown as a badass. I love all the fics I read of them but sometimes Bruce should get swept off his feet and experience butterflies too! (Obviously only if you want to)

I’d also love anything where Bruce is the one suffering from mortification or being caught at a bad time 😏. Take him down a notch or two hehe <3

Oh god, thank you so much!! I'm really pleased people are liking my silly little stories as much as I love writing them. I really put a lot of effort into characterisation, so comments like this mean the world to me 💚🦇

After I've finished with Best Laid Plans, I'm probably gonna churn out some oneshots I've got planned until I've got some time off work to bash out another multichaptered fic. There's a Hal-centric idea I'm working on that's less humour and more plot, but I haven't completely committed to it yet.

In the meantime, I live to serve. Have some Bruce having a terrible time:

———

This wasn’t happening. 

It simply wasn’t. 

If Bruce refused to acknowledge it, that meant it didn’t exist. 

The problem with having gear built to withstand bullets, fire, acid, and the occasional metahuman temper tantrum was that it was durable by design. Which was great when he was throwing himself into the thick of Gotham’s nights. Less great when that same marvel of engineering decided to betray him. 

Because right now, on this cold, dank, miserable Gotham night, Bruce hung. Perfectly still. Suspended several feet above the alley floor with his cape stretched taut, snapped on what was, after a begrudging, sideways glance, some kind of industrial vent. Heavy-duty. The kind meant to withstand decades of corrosion, poor maintenance, and, apparently, vigilantes with no contingency for his own ability to be a dumbass, rare as it was. 

His legs dangled. His arms were crossed over his chest. He was, for all intents and purposes, a goddamn ornament. 

Fine. This was fine. Not at all embarrassing. It was fine.

Somewhere in the distance, a siren wailed. A dog barked. Gotham carried on, utterly indifferent to the fact that her Dark Knight was currently caught like a very large, very stupid bat in a very unexpected trap.

It was a temporary state, after all. A statistical anomaly in his otherwise flawless execution of being Batman, if you will. In moments, he knew he’d rectify this situation with the quiet efficiency he was known for. He would put it in the back of his mind, no harm, no foul, and most importantly, no witnesses. 

Unless, of course, he counted Hal Jordan, who was standing right there. But that was another element of the situation that was being ignored. 

There was a silence at first, which Bruce appreciated. It gave him a small, dwindling hope that maybe Hal would be mature about this. Maybe Hal would see it, process it, and then solemnly file it away under Things We Do Not Speak Of. Bruce himself had an extensive pile of things he did ot speak of in polite company. He could only hope it was the same for Hal. 

It wasn’t. Of course. Because Hal, for all of his heroics, was ultimately the worst person Bruce knew. 

It started with a sound. It was a sharp, strangled noise, choked off at the last second. It could have even been mistaken for a cough had Bruce not been intimately familiar with Hal’s very specific brand of barely contained, unrepentant amusement. It was the sound of a man witnessing the single greatest moment of his life and actively working not to combust from the sheer joy of it.

Bruce valiantly remained neutral. He kept his eyes fixed forward. He was a statue. A grim, shadowy gargoyle hanging over the city. A silent warden of justice. Slightly swaying in the wind like an unmoored scarecrow, but otherwise unmoving.

Then Hal sucked in another breath, shoulders shaking. His entire body trembled in that telltale, barely restrained convulsion of someone attempting to hold in laughter for the most optimal moment.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Don’t,” Bruce said. HIs voice was flat, emotionless. He was a void of authority that could terrify criminals, gods, and the majority of the Justice League. He was in control of the situation. 

Hal lost the battle. A full-bodied, ugly, gasping wheeze of a laugh exploded from him as he doubled over mid-air. His hands were on his knees, his shoulders were shaking. Bruce would have been more interested in seeing him laugh like this if he hadn’t been the reason for it. 

“Oh my god— oh my god—” he spluttered, stumbling back as if the sheer force of the situation had weakened him. “Spooky. Spooky— Are you…? Are you seriously—” He had to stop speaking to brace himself on a fire escape lest the weight of his laughter sent him plummeting to the cobblestone below. Bruce could only dream. “Are you seriously pretending this isn’t happening?”

It wasn’t happening. That was the official position. End of story. 

Bruce continued to stare straight ahead.

Hal took in a grounding breath. “Okay. Okay,” he said, nodding and composing himself. He straightened his back. “I’m good. I’m done.”

He wasn’t done.

The moment he looked at Bruce again — well, the moment he looked at Batman again, trapped and dangling, reduced to scenery, he lost his tenuous grip on his self-control. Hal was the type to wheeze-laugh. Full on clutching his stomach, cackling with his whole body kind of laugh. A probably-crying-behind-the-domino kind of laugh. The kind that was beginning to sound almost medically concerning.

“So, Batman—” Hal tried, biting his lower lip to stop himself from laughing again. “How’s it hanging?”

Bruce wasn’t a godly man, but he found himself praying. Not for salvation, nor for a miracle. He just wanted something quick and swift to smite him down. Or, failing that, for Hal to be struck down where he floated. Maybe the both of them, just to make sure this…incident never saw the light of day.

But, as was often the case, divine intervention refused to answer Gotham’s calls. Typical. He continued to say nothing. Because engaging with Hal would acknowledge his presence as a witness to an event that wasn’t happening, and he was certainly not doing that. 

Briefly, he began to calculate if he could somehow swing free without garrotting himself on the cape and land on Hal hard enough to expunge the whole thing from memory. It would require precise torque of his core muscles, a bit of tactical folding, and he might have to sacrifice his windpipe. Worth it. All for the cause.

Finally, Hal managed to compose himself enough not to laugh every time he so much as glanced at Bruce’s suspended body. “Okay, I’m really done this time,” he said, even though the grin stretched on his face suggested otherwise. “How did this even happen?”

It didn’t happen. Bruce was just surveying the city at an unexpected altitude. Hal didn’t know what he was talking about. 

What Bruce said was, “Jumped.”

“This is the best day of my life.”

“You can leave now.”

Hal snorted. “Like hell,” he said. He floated closer, hands on his hips, scrutinising the problem with a smirk that could only be described as punchable. “Damn, you’re really stuck in there. That’s what you get for not making the cape detachable.”

Alfred had told him the cape would need to be detachable. Bruce had agreed, but then proceeded to sacrifice practicality for The Aesthetic because at heart he was a theatre kid that had been too traumatised to join the arts programme at school. The cape looked cooler when it was a fixed feature. 

As he dangled in the alley way with a goddamn witness to his suffering, Bruce was seriously beginning to recalibrate that decision. 

Bruce inhaled slowly. Exhaled even slower.

Someday, he would look back on this moment and—

No.

No, he would never look back on this moment. Because it would be buried so deeply beneath layers of repression and strategic denial that he, with all his training and unparalleled mental fortitude, would convince himself it never happened.

“Do you even know what you look like right now?” Hal continued, because apparently he wanted to be a permanent fixture on Batman’s shitlist. “Take a look.”

A construct diorama of the scene unfolded in a burst of green light as Hal reconstructed something that definitely wasn’t happening right now. It was a caricature, of course. The tiny construct Batman’s arms were crossed over his chest in what Bruce could only assume was Hal’s attempt at capturing his quiet dignity — except it was entirely undermined by the dangling legs, the exaggerated sway, and the way the goddamn cape stretched taut, hoisting him up like a piñata.

Bruce stared at it.

He was going to set the cape on fire. He was going to salt the earth where the cape had once been. He wasn’t Batman anymore. He was Man-Man now.

“It’s kinda sexy,” Hal continued, nodding to himself. “You know, I’ve always wanted to sweep you off your feet. Figures you’d do the job for me.”

Bruce exhaled slowly and focussed on something, anything, other than the unholy combination of wicked glee and smug arrogance radiating off Hal. The sudden swooping sensation in his stomach was purely situational. Disorientation. A natural response to being held hostage by his own goddamn cape. Definitely not related to the way Hal was looking at him.

“You are not flirting with me right now.”

“Oh, I definitely am.”

There it was again. More of that disorientating, entirely unwelcome swoop beneath his skin. He had begun associating that feeling with Hal a lot recently. It was irritating. It was inconvenient. It was ongoing. He still was not going to acknowledge it. Just like he wasn’t acknowledging this situation. 

“You know, now that you can’t run away,” Hal said, voice edging into dangerous territory “I figure it’s a good time to shoot my shot.”

“It’s a terrible time for you to shoot your shot.”

“I’m not known for my excellent time management skills.” He poked Bruce in the ribs, just to see him sway. If he came any closer, Bruce was going to bite him. “And it’s not like you’ve never thought about it. I’ll tell you what. If you agree to grab a drink with me some time, I’ll get you down.”

“Hal.”

“Think about it. I cut you down, super heroic, super sexy. You fall into my big strong arms. I’ll even carry you all romantic-like over Gotham, if you want. We can get real Bodyguard about it.”

“Hal.”

“Or I could totally leave you dangling and just grab you something fruity with a straw. We can get cosy right here, ‘cause I’m not gonna complain about the view. Your choice.”

“Hal.”

Hal snickered to himself. “Relax, I’m kidding. Mosly. I still kind of want to go out with you, but I can leave that until after you’ve had some time to nurse your disintegrated pride.” He flew a little closer, enough so that he was face to face with Bruce. “Just one more thing before I help you, though.”

Bruce glared at him.

“Say please.”

And goddamn, Bruce did not need that in his life right now. Not those words coming out of Hal’s mouth with Hal’s voice and Hal’s face. He stomped down the butterflies that dared to step foot in his stomach. He set fire to their wings, torched the little bastards where they fluttered and sprinkled their ashes on what was left of his wounded pride. 

“You have three seconds to—”

“Yeah, yeah. God, you’re no fun,” Hal relented. He raised his ring hand, but not before adding, "You know, if you ever wanna reenact this, but, y'know, in a more private setting, I’m totally open to suggestions.”

Bruce closed his eyes in exasperation. He was going to make it look like a goddamn accident. 

[holybodega]

hello yes I hear there is rwby dgrp Au 👀 /np

yes ! i like the idea with my brain, and i've decided to try my hand at making some stuff for it!!!!

here is the most recent color concepts for ruby's design :3

i will gush below more if you and anyone else are truly curious !!!!!!

so currently, (and hehe no spoilers for if i do make anything more for this) here is the list of students! sorgy if some faves were left out, it was very hard to narrow down to such a small list ;w;

i have started planning the trials, but obviously those are even bigger spoilers hehe, so i won't share those just yet !! but in the meantime, i can go over the setup and what the ultimates mean >>:3

-

setup: so instead of hope's peak, it's beacon .... do not worry why those who are not beacon students are here, i'm sure that'll be a point of interest once the story starts ,, hehe :3

i am still in the earliest stages of this, but i do like the idea that the students are still there to train as huntsman, it's just instead of having semblances, they are ultimates. ultimates are straaaange because sometimes it's like the characters have powers unimaginable to man and then there's ultimate clairvoyant where he's just...... a guy being a dude.... so

i think the school itself will be a hodgepodge of rwby and danganronpa sensibilities. it will borrow from both and primarily follow the danganronpa rules once the killing game starts, but i like to think i'll include a good amount of beacon's influence.

faunus: at this time, i'm unsure if i want to change anything about faunus? i feel like it's not very danganronpa to have catgirls be real, but i very much intend for white fang to exist still. i think it can work? (although much love and peace, we all know how poor the writing has been for faunus racism)

aura: as far as other rwby factors, obviously aura has to go in the state its in. can't really have an interesting killing game if each character has to spar to death. well you could, but then you'd just have hit youtube series rwby again. i think if it is used, it's more like the mastermind gives everyone aura trackers or something? idk

weapons: i'm super on the fence about their inclusions, i may make it a part of the plot, may not. it may be one of the bigger changes i make from the beginning. they will not be featured in the killing game itself because y'know. that would just. negate a loooot.

grimm: will be plot relevant, but i doubt they'll be super there

timeline: imagine how every danganronpa game starts up, first day of hope's peak (or what have you). all students have a clean slate on their memories in some form or fashion, and this AU will be no different to that set up. if it ain't broke, don't fix it! the idea is, this is set from the point of "ruby's first day at beacon." it's not going to play out any bit the same as the show because......... well....... spoilers for danganronpa but...... that's not their real first day at hope's peak dawg.

POV: as for the main character, it's gotta be ruby duh!! - ultimates: some of these are semblance based, some of these are character based. i was more so trying to catch a vibe with the ultimates rather than them being one-to-one.

Ultimate Accelerator

this is ruby's ultimate. as per stated above, this is going to be setup as "ruby's first day at beacon." as we all know, ruby is let into beacon early for her expertise in fighting. academic acceleration is a term for letting students into higher education at a younger age than typical, hence accelerator. also. ruby faste. zoom. but either it's this or ultimate excellence. i like both, i think ruby would hate being called "ultimate excellence." either way, she would want to keep it all under wraps.

Ultimate Socialite

this is weiss's ultimate. i think this one is self explanatory, but of course, weiss do be a nepo baby. especially since these are going to be based primarily on the characteristics of s1 specifically, she was truly trying for that socialite attitude.

Ultimate Escape Artist

so this is where we start to take some liberties. this is blake's ultimate. i think this one will be one of those OP ultimates that you scratch your head a little at and go, "yep, i guess that make sense." my idea is that blake will play off as your kyoko type. she's not particular one for investigation, but she's an escape artist, so she sure can get the hell out of any tricky situation.

Ultimate Gunslinger

another one i'm taking some stretches with, but i think it fits. this is yang's ultimate. i am on the fence big time on the weaponry, but i do want to take the leap to make yang a cowboy. fuck it. we ball.

Ultimate Lucky Student

this is jaune's ultimate. he's definitely a lucky student. :)

Ultimate Electrician

this is nora's ultimate. another easy one, she is big electricity!

Ultimate ???

this is pyrrha's ultimate. ???

Ultimate Serenity

this is ren's ultimate. this one is a bit of a doozy, but imagine angie yonaga's gag where she holds the other students in her arms as if she's jesus and they are the lamb? yeah like that probably.

Ultimate War Machine

this is penny's ultimate. she was built to be war machine. robo of mass destruction, what can you say?

Ultimate Leader

this is adam's ultimate. shout out to running your own terror org, king. congrats on that. not as good as kokichi, but he'll do!

Ultimate Farmhand

this is oscar's ultimate. he was trapped as a farmhand and he couldn't be clarmhand, he wanted to leave this place and get himself back in space.... school... in the school system. for normal farm boy reasonsssss.

Ultimate Spy

this is ilia's ultimate. she sneake.

Ultimate Martial Artist

this is sun's ultimate. this one is a bit of a loophole all around. technically everyone in this AU is still supposed to be trained martial artist, but i think sun is deserving of the ultimate because of his semblance. unfortunately on top that, there's not actually a lot of terms to pick from when you're looking into kung fu mastery, so i had to reuse ultimate martial artist. i could've called him the ultimate sifu or shifu, but i don't feel very attached to the idea that sun would be patient or responsible enough for a title like that, especially early show sun lmao. i was thinking of going with ultimate black belt, but it just felt uninspired. it could be funny to go with sifu in the future just because of how unserious he is lololol

Ultimate Designer

this is coco's ultimate. coco is but a humble designer with her $400 coach bag

Ultimate Copycat

this is velvet's ultimate. another one that is just like "bruh there's no way." i think it's neat to translate velvet's semblance into an ultimate this way. her photography memory is separate from her ultimate abilities nonetheless. her ultimate abilities stem from her physically being able to replicate actions that she sees.

-

well that's all i have for now, but if i get enough together, i'll maybe start a sideblog or an insta for it hehe

[macabr3-barbi3]

Dream a Little Dream (of Me)- Chapter 5

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Even more fun new abilities, like making Alastor have a real conversation!

I'm sorry, I know it's been forever- I have a terrible habit of getting caught up at chapter 5 on all of my fics for some reason 🤣 the new banner was created by my beloved @fraugwinska who is this fic's #1 hype woman (ily 💕)

I've hit a point in this story where I think I'm going to start implementing a few more plot elements- I love writing the smut but I have some fun ideas for actual story; they can only do so much before something else is needed to keep it going, so going forward there will be a bit less of a focus on the sexual aspects of the reader's relationship with Alastor and more on some emotional parts and world-building. I hope that's not too disappointing, and that you all will stick along for the ride with us <3

For weeks following your fleeing of his bedroom, Alastor is in an absolutely foul mood.

The night after your argument, your silent lounging on your bed- in your own bedroom once again, sleep deprived and irritated, unwilling again to interact with anyone else’s dreams- is disturbed by a shuddering of the hotel and loud, clattering thumps coming from down the hall. You stumble bleary-eyed into the hallway with everyone else, Charlie identifying the disturbance as coming from Alastor’s room and knocking gently on the door.

When he opens it he looks distraught, eyes wide, smile strained, his hair looking like he’s been running his hands through it constantly, tugging at it. “What is it,” he asks the Princess, and to Charlie’s credit she doesn’t shrink back from him when she asks if he’s okay, tells him that he’s disturbing everyone’s sleep.

He locks eyes with you where you stand a few feet away, still hovering halfway into your own room. “Perfectly fine,” he tells Charlie, but his eyes don’t leave your face. “Merely a… nightmare, I suppose. More of a disappointing dream than anything else, really.”

You duck back into your room with a slam of the door, chest heaving with your anger and frustration and not listening to whatever else he had to say to Charlie. What right did he have to say that you were a disappointment? You didn’t even know what he wanted from you, let alone what you had done wrong- what, not wanting to kill people? You were no saint, having ended up in Hell in the first place, but you had morals still, lines you wouldn’t cross. Regardless of anything that had happened between you thus far, any yearning or feelings that might have resulted from it, you wouldn’t change who you were as a person for him. You came to the hotel seeking redemption, for fuck’s sake- how could he think that he could ask that of you?

You start booking other hotel rooms with the money you’re earning as the Resident Events Coordinator- honestly, Charlie probably pays you way too much, but it's helping you in the meantime so you aren’t going to complain- and you’ll camp out for a few days at a time and practice your abilities in the dreams of others. It’s fun for a while, to innocently mess with people by creating clones and turning things upside down. You find that once you’ve been inside someone’s dreams you can almost tune into their thoughts like a radio broadcast now- a little concentration and you get fleeting snippets of consciousness from them; grocery lists, work tasks, gossip. It’s nothing like it had been with Alastor, like you were deep-diving into his brain, seeing his memories through his eyes. He might have been right about your connection to him being what allowed such a thinking to happen, since you showed no signs of being able to do such a thing with anyone else.

Charlie notices how often you’re away from the Hotel, because she’s doing everything in her power to keep you there aside from having Vaggie physically restrain you. She keeps proposing new activities for you to coordinate, from a night at the club to an outing at LuLu World, and most recently she had you planning a trip to her father’s mansion for some fancy dinner and tour- Lucifer himself wouldn’t be interacting with them beyond the actual meal, he was just opening the space to them so they could all see where Charlie had grown up, another lesson in ‘empathy’ that Charlie hoped would help them make progress.

So you spent the evening making sure that everyone was corralled into the correct locations and not slipping off where they shouldn’t be. Angel had already tried to convince Husk to raid the wine cellar with him, Niffty was lamenting that she wasn’t allowed into the King’s personal quarters to clean, and Charlie was growing more and more frustrated that rooms she wanted to show the group had been filled with rubber ducks. Alastor keeps his distance from you, occasionally fading into the shadows to go do his own thing- you hope Charlie and Lucifer don’t hold it against you that you have no ability to control that man. 

Dinner calms everyone down, wine and delicious food putting everyone in a better mood while Lucifer dazzled them with magic and stories about Charlie as a child. You laugh along with everyone but you can feel Alastor’s eyes on you the entire meal, and when you finally steal a glance at him he’s looking away.

Typical.

You help Vaggie herd everyone into their rooms- their own rooms, to Angel’s disappointment at not being able to share with Husk- and leave Alastor to Charlie so she can berate him about not making an effort to get along with her dad, snippy barbs flying across the table at each other between stories. You tell the girls that you’ll stay up a bit later to make sure no one does any ill-advised exploring in the night, and bid them a goodnight as you head off to clean up from dinner. Lucifer seemed to have used his magic to take care of most of the food mess, but he’s nowhere to be seen when you return to the dining room so you take your time in stacking plates and organizing the dishes so that whatever staff he might have has an easier time of taking care of it all.

Just after midnight finds you seated on the couch in Lucifer’s library, your eyes surprisingly not bleary with a need for sleep despite not having truly rested in days. Everyone else is asleep- you focus your powers for a moment and can’t pinpoint anything coming from the others, other than an unpleasant staticky noise that comes from Alastor’s room. The fireplace crackles pleasantly a few feet away from you, the comforting smell of old books surrounding you and making things feel… calmer than they have as of late, with Alastor stomping around the hotel like some angry beast and refusing to interact with you at all. He was always making this expression towards you, like he wants to say something, or wants you to say something, and it was wearing away at your resolve.

You didn’t want to have this distance between you. Even beyond the more intimate moments that you had shared, Alastor had always been good company; he was helping you learn more about your powers, even if it was only to sate his curiosity; outside of his bedroom he was friendly and fun, and would probably rather die again than admit that he enjoyed the company of the others as well. Throughout of the course of this… thing between you, something had changed on your side. You think about the night he tore his stitches, the words you had whispered before realizing he had passed out above you.

“I would be yours. Forever. For as long as you want.”

The words still sit uncomfortably true in your ribcage, make the rift between the two of you feel even wider. Maybe it would be easier if he knew- if you could take his avoidance of you as an answer. You wanted to find him, try to have a proper conversation about boundaries when it came to your power- have a proper conversation about your feelings, and-

A throat clears in the doorway of the library, and when you turn Alastor himself stands in the doorway. “I hope I’m not intruding,” he says stiffly without stepping into the room, and you wave a hand at him to indicate that he can join you. He stands at the other end of the room still, closer to the fire, and won’t meet your eyes. “I heard you telling Charlotte that you would keep an eye on everyone tonight- but I know you haven’t slept. I’m happy to take up the watch if you would like me to place a temporary pocket dimension in your room, or transport you back to the hotel for the night.”

You want to drop it- ignore the fight that still hovers frustratingly between the two of you when Alastor is offering an out. His way of apologizing, perhaps, but your thoughts from earlier are still there. You needed to actually talk about it, or the pair of you would just keep coming back to the same issue.

“It depends. Does accepting your offer mean that we wouldn’t be talking about how you casually mentioned having me kill people for you? Because in that case, no thank you.” You watch the fire instead of him, how the flames twist and dance with one another as he stiffens at your words.

“I… regret how that evening transpired,” he says at last, ignoring your sigh as he comes closer to the couch. “I’ve thought on the matter and I recognize how such a request-”

“A request that you made seem like a command,” you remind him, “with that shit you pulled with the leash.”

He takes a deep breath, the flames flickering green behind him as he tried to keep his composure. “Yes, I can see now how that would have upset you. Regardless- I recognize how such a request was inappropriate, even if we did have a tentative agreement in regards to my limits with your powers. I understand that it is a boundary for you, and I will do my best not to test that again.”

You finally turn to look at him, and he looks… properly abashed. But there was no way he would have come up with that on his own, not with the glee that had been evident in his features when he brought up the idea. “Did Charlie help you with that?” You ask, and he scowls- which is less scary than he probably hopes it is, and is more a confirmation than anything else.

“I may have sought her expertise in handling interpersonal conflict,” he says, his stiff posture finally loosening up as he joins you on the couch. “Apologies do not come easily to me- not sincere ones, anyway. I don’t-” He clenches his fist and turns away from you, dark shadows crawling across the floor in arcs away from him. “I don’t know how to have something in my grasp without possessing it entirely. We have a deal but it’s not one that grants me the liberties that I would prefer in regards to your powers and your actions.” 

You take a deep breath and scoot closer to him. “I appreciate you being honest with me,” you offer, and he grimaces like the idea is distasteful. “Listen, I’m sure you think having feelings makes you weaker or something but really, it’s important to talk about these things. And to apologize… which I accept. But if we want to keep, you know, experimenting with my powers and whatever else, I think we need to have specific guidelines of what we expect of each other that isn’t crossing any boundaries for either of us. What, exactly, do you want?”

Alastor seems to struggle with himself for a moment, clenching his hands and refusing to meet your eyes. “I… I’m not quite sure what I want,” he says, like the words of ignorance pain him. “I’ve despised having to keep my distance from you since our disagreement. To see you laughing with the others and turning away from me with that look on your face was unpleasant to say the least. I don’t want that space between us again- if you’re amenable to the idea I think I would like to have you back in my bedroom, once I have repaired the bayou dimension.”

“You want to be closer then- physically.” You hop cushions, sitting right beside him and placing a hand on his knee. “That’s fine, we can do that- you’ll have to tell me what happened to the bayou sometime, though.” He nods stiffly, hesitating a moment before he places his hand over yours on his knee. “Anything else?”

“In regards to your powers, I would still like to experiment if you will allow me.” Alastor lifts your hand from his knee and presses a soft kiss to the back of it. “I understand that hurting others is a limit you will not cross-”

“I won’t hurt you either, if that was your idea of trying to get around that.”

He frowns. “Too clever for your own good- I suppose that is part of the reason that I tolerate you. Very well- I will not ask you to cause physical harm to anybody, period. I also still would like to ask that I am the only one who knows of your abilities for the time being.”

“Done. I do have a condition of my own.” You turn to face him fully, and pull his hand to your heart. “I don’t want this to be a proper deal- no soul binding or anything like that. I would want the rope from our wager removed.” He stiffens at that, but he doesn’t jerk away from you like you expected so you continue. “We have to be able to trust each other if we want any sort of relationship to work, whether it be for experimentation or something more. We should be able to follow each other’s requests and boundaries without needing it sealed with a chain- that doesn’t give us any room to adapt or change as my powers grow and situations shift.”  

His jaw clenches, and he doesn’t look at you for a long moment, instead keeping his eyes trained on the flames before he finally nods- you bite your lip to keep from grinning or doing something stupid, like shouting in excitement. “I hope you realize what you are asking of me,” he says finally. “I don’t generally keep people close to me that I cannot control or own in some way or another. It keeps me detached from needing people, or caring about their approval. But I do believe I want those things from you, which is why I am agreeing to these terms. Please understand that this is… new territory for me.”

You lace your fingers through his. “It is for me, too. But that’s where the trust comes in- I have to trust that you’ll respect my boundaries without the compulsion of a deal, and you trust that I’m here with you because I want to be- whether you just want to continue experimenting with my powers or… anything else.”

Alastor’s red eyes glance at you from his peripheral. “Anything else, you say? I take it to mean that you also wish for things to return as they were between us in an intimate manner?” Your face flushes but you nod, and to your relief he smiles softly and reaches across the scant distance between you to touch your shoulder. “I would like that as well,” he says, and cups your cheek in one hand, leaning in so your foreheads rest against one another. His breath ghosts across your lips, and you realize with startling clarity that this would be the first time you’ve kissed him outside of dreams; the first one in reality, a milestone to mark the resolvement of your disagreement. You embrace it, leaning in and letting your lips meet, a gentle pressure before your mouth opens with a gasp when he trails his free hand up your thigh to caress the skin under your shorts with his thumb. “So soft,” he murmurs into the kiss, almost absently, and then he’s pulling you to him, maneuvering so you sit sideways in his lap. He lets his fingers creep a bit further under the hem of your shorts. “May I?”

“Please,” you whine, and he grants you mercy by snapping your clothing out of existence so he can make unhindered contact with your skin. His fingers move slowly, tracing through the wetness along the folds of your entrance before he parts them and slips a digit inside. The short weeks that have passed since the last time you were with him feel like a lifetime, but he still knows the intricacies of your body like a well loved instrument; a second finger follows, and pressure against the spot inside you that makes you see stars. “Fuck, Alastor…”

He steals the rest of your words with his mouth, his tongue snaking in to tangle with yours, drinking down the sounds you make like ambrosia. Another finger, and you twist in Alastor’s hold to grind yourself down against them, to angle your hips to guide him more effectively where you want him to go. “Someone is eager, hm?” He pulls back to whisper in your ear, hand finally leaving your face to come around your back, pulling you as close as he can to his body while still working his fingers inside you. His thumb comes into play, brushing with perfect pressure on your clit, dipping into the wetness that coats his fingers so the slide of it is slick and perfect. Tension builds inside you, muscles shaking as you ride Alastor’s hand towards a sloppy orgasm. He brings his mouth to your chest, sharp teeth nipping at the sensitive skin there before sucking gently, still making eye contact when you glance down at him through the haze of pleasure that threatens to overwhelm you. “Go on, darling,” he says softly, laving his tongue over the marks he’s sucked into your skin, fingers thrusting more insistently as everything in you coils tighter than a spring. “Cum for me, go on-”

You cry out his name as it takes you over, the electric flash of ecstasy that consumes you from the pit of your stomach to the tips of your fingers as Alastor works you through it. You can feel your heartbeat in your eyes from the force of it, a soft throbbing that you know Alastor is experiencing where his digits are still inside the grip of your internal walls. Everything is tingly and fuzzy afterward, as your pulse returns to normal and your breathing slows, aware now of the soft kisses that Alastor is pressing into your collarbone.

He removed his fingers from you, bringing them up to his mouth to drag his tongue up and down the length of them while you blush. And despite the pleasure he’s already given you, you want more- you grind your hips down to convey the sentiment, the mess of your orgasm still evident and soaking through the front of his trousers where you can feel the hard ridge of his cock. He hisses at the friction, twisting a hand up into your hair while the other grips your hip and pulls you down harder. “You tempt me, my dear,” he says, “but someone is coming.”

“I don’t hear anything,” you mutter, continuing to rock your hips in little circles. Even with how sensitive you are, the pressure against your clit feels damningly good, too good to stop or heed his warning. “And if someone comes in, I’ll handle it.”

Alastor laughs out loud. “Oh, you’ll handle it, will you? By all means then, have at it.” He gestures vaguely towards his pelvis, unaware of the trick that you’ve been holding up your sleeve in your recent solo experimentations. You would never get a better opportunity to surprise him, you think, as you rip the belt from his pants and help him shimmy them off, his thick erection beading with fluid at the tip when it’s freed.

You lean back against the couch cushions, pulling him down with you and using a gentle hand to guide him to your entrance. You let out a soft whimper as he pushes into you, breath punching out of you with a gasp when he sinks to the hilt in one swift thrust. You tangle a hand into his hair, gripping the base of one of his antlers and grinning when his hips jerk against you at the action. His eyes are half-lidded and soft as he stares down at you, seeming to have to focus on slowing down when he pulls out and slowly presses back in. “You’re so lovely,” he whispers, and your pulse leaps into your throat when he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead.

Your mind is flooded with images when he makes contact, emotions that ride through your veins along with the physical pleasure you’re feeling- evidently he’s been watching you the last few weeks, following you when you left the hotel to make sure you weren’t in any danger, sending his shadow to watch you sleep. You can feel the bitterness in your pulse as he watches you interact with the others, only to turn away when you notice him. The vague sadness that night that he had destroyed his room, his bayou, because how could he remain there when there were traces of you everywhere? 

You break the connection with a gasp, using your grip on his antler to pull him back to your mouth as he continues to fuck into you at a steady pace. He groans into your mouth, his fingers digging into your skin hard enough to leave bruises, marks that you can come back to when the need was to great, more tangible proof that this was real, that he wanted you outside your abilities. “Alastor, please,” you beg, letting the fingers not currently brushing the base of his horns to trail down his spine, tracing the vertebrae beneath your touch as he shivers. He shifts his legs, brings himself closer to you, the angle changing and pushing the tip of his cock exactly where you need it. 

The door to the library creaks open, and you both freeze.

“Hello?” There’s a hint of pain as Lucifer’s voice echoes in the room, where Alastor has tightened his grip enough to break skin with his claws. His other hand untangles itself from your hair to press against your mouth, silencing your heavy breathing. “Who’s in here?”

The couch you were seated on was high-backed- he wouldn’t be able to see you from the door, but if he entered the room, came around the front, you would be fucked in a far less pleasurable way than you currently were. Alastor’s nostrils flare above you as he hears the soft clacking of the King’s boots as he takes a couple steps in, apparently not able to help himself from bucking his hips forward, his teeth bared in a snarl when he feels your muffled groan against his palm.

More light blooms in the room from the wall sconces- you had been sitting in here with just the fire, and the glare of more lighting makes you squint your eyes, Alastor silhouetted beautifully above you. “I know someone is in here,” Lucifer demands, and you take a deep breath against Alastor’s hand and snap your fingers. “You were all told to-”

“Why, good evening, your Majesty!” 

You almost wish you had manifested in Hell like the CEO of that tech company, with some sort of electronics built into your head so you could record the look on Alastor’s face at hearing his own voice respond to Lucifer. Your eyebrows are creased, trying to focus on the figment you’ve conjured to keep the King’s attention away from the couch. 

“Oh, it’s just you,” Lucifer says, and you can hear the hint of disdain in his voice- you wonder, not for the first time, what the issue was between these two- some conflict that had started before you were at the Hotel that no one felt necessary to fill you in on. “I thought you were told to keep to your own quarters past eleven.”

You make the thing twirl it’s cane, snapping it back to the ground and inspecting it’s fingernails. “Yes, well, I had some business to attend to. And might I add, sire, you are also out past your imposed bedtime.” 

Maybe it was something about using your powers to sass the king of Hell with some false puppet, but Alastor seemed to react well to it- his eyes dark, teeth bared, he plants a foot on the floor to brace himself so the couch doesn’t shift and thrusts into you hard, his hand pressing harder against your mouth when you whine at the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls. There’s wonder in his expression, something akin to adoration; this was what he wanted from you, you realized, displays of power, shows of your abilities that he could see and benefit from, that showed that he could trust you. 

Lucifer scoffs across the room. “This is my house, if you’ve forgotten,” he retorts. “I can go where I please. And I heard you talking to someone!” Rapid footsteps, like he’s coming further into the room, and even as it makes Alastor buck his hips wildly against you, you don’t think he really wants to be caught in such a compromising situation.

You make the figure step forward- if you really concentrate you can almost see through its eyes, a vague image behind your eyelids of Lucifer standing before it with his arms crossed where you’ve blocked him, his gaze frustrated. “I was talking to myself,” you make it say. “I must have intelligent conversation on occasion, you know, and with everyone else in bed and only you left awake, I had to make do.”

Alastor grins above you, pleased with the tone and the words of this replica you’ve created of him; refusing to use his likeness to submit or offer pleasantries to get him out of the room; you were doubling down like Alastor himself would. You can hear the inaccuracies- you’re sure Alastor can, too- but Lucifer appears none the wiser as Alastor begins to fuck you in earnest, the couch thankfully staying still and not squeaking or moving as he holds his hand over your mouth harder and leans down to nibble at your collar.

“Of all the disrespectful-”

“Careful now, your Majesty,” it says, and you make shadows appear to crawl across the floor towards him, tendrils approaching the couch as well. When Alastor notices them he groans into your skin, and through the copy’s eyes you see Lucifer snap his head in the direction of the sound. “You wouldn’t want Charlie to catch us in a disagreement, would you?” And thank whatever beings heard prayers down here, Lucifer deflates- you had made a gamble with that, assuming that Charlie had spoken with her father about getting along with her hotelier, but knowing the princess the way that you did you figured there was no way that she would allow them to be at each other’s throats like they were. You let the false shadows sink back, and have your illusion give him a cheeky little wave. “There’s a good King. Now, may I get back to my business?” With the last word, Alastor stills, waiting for a confirmation or denial, possibly preparing to phase the two of you out of the room if Lucifer came further into the room-

“Do whatever you want,” Lucifer grumbles, “Charlie and that little coordinator need to keep a closer fucking eye on you, but I can’t be bothered.”

“I’ll be sure to mention that to our event planner,” you make it say, and Alastor makes another soft noise into your throat against where your pulse beats steadily, replicated in the rhythmic clenching of your walls around his still hard length. The interruption doesn’t seem to have doused your arousal, nor Alastor’s- the possibility of being caught like this makes your blood boil in the most pleasant way, Alastor’s cock still filling you perfectly even as he’s stopped actually fucking you for the time being. “I’ll bid you a good night, sire; I still have matters that need tending to, free of distractions.” You see Lucifer cast a middle finger back at the image of Alastor as it speaks, and then mercifully he’s storming out, a swirling golden portal opening for him to step through and then closing with a loud crack.

In time with the noise of the portal slamming closed, Alastor pulls his hips back and snaps them forward again- his hand is removed from your mouth with your gasp, and he moves it to your hip to pull you more forcefully into his thrusts. “You,” he growls against your jawline, “are perfect.” He kisses you, licking into your mouth and stealing the air from your lungs as it’s punched from you with every rock of his pelvis. “The audacity to pull such a stunt- the control you maintained over the illusion was breathtaking, I don’t- fuck,” he concludes eloquently, fingers coming between your bodies to rub at your clit again as he races towards completion. It reignites the fire in your abdomen, heat flashing through your body like a strike of lightning that burns across your skin, making you cling to him tighter. He looks down at you with dark, unfathomable eyes while he fucks you, his pace growing uneven and broken as he approaches his end. “Please, darling,” he whispers against your lips, “cum for me, I need-”

The plea is what breaks you, every muscle in your body tensing and releasing as the orgasm slams into you like a car into a brick wall- messy, sudden, destructive. You don’t leave your own mind this time, your consciousness firmly rooted in reality as you watch Alastor lose his composure, his eyes fluttering closed with a gasp of your name while he spills into the slick heat of your cunt, his hips still rocking as if he means to fuck his release as far into you as he can. You shiver with the aftershocks, Alastor still maintaining a gentle swiping across your clit, and you can feel the way your walls twitch around the length of his cock while he stays buried in you to the hilt.

“No mind traveling today, I see,” he asks quietly, another kiss pressed softly to your forehead, and while no mental images come forth you can feel what he’s feeling now; the lingering ache of pleasure, the pride he still feels at your show of your new ability, an overall sense of happiness that you wouldn’t expect to be able to bring Alastor. He had put aside his discomfort to have an honest, responsible conversation with you to fix what you had both thought might be irreparably broken, and you were thankful.

You hum against his throat. “I’m content where I am,” you tell him, and the vibration of his laughter on your lips is perfection.

From the previous tags list: @aconstructofamind @littlebluefishtail @spottypug @bishiglomper @ivebeenthearchersstuff @minamilinaqueen

if any of you would like to be removed for any reason, please let me know! <3

[dystopicjumpsuit]

Hiatus announcement.

Hi friends. I've got some stuff I need to focus on in my personal life right now, and I'm not able to balance that with keeping up with Tumblr and Discord. I'll be taking a hiatus starting immediately. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but hopefully it won't be too long. If you have submitted a request for a fic, design, or artwork, please know I'll do my absolute best to fill it when I'm back, but for now, I need to be present in my real life.

I love you all, and I'll miss you, and I can't wait to come back! I'll put a few more details below the cut in case you're interested. CW for medical issues.

My partner has been unwell recently, and this week, we discovered that they have a blood clot in their leg. Further testing revealed they have a serious heart condition. Unfortunately, they also have a preexisting vascular condition that makes blood thinners risky, but their PCP went ahead and prescribed a three-month course of medication for the clot since it's an immediate issue. We are waiting to hear if insurance will cover the meds; apparently this prescription gets rejected by insurers frequently due to the cost. (Thinking about the fact that some analyst in a cubicle could decide that my partner's life is worth less than a three-month course of medication is making me feel absolutely sick.)

They have more appointments scheduled with a cardiologist and a vascular surgeon, so for now, we're just kind of stuck in limbo. Their PCP gave us a long list of, "If x happens, go to the emergency room immediately. If y happens, go to the emergency room immediately. If z happens - you guessed it - go to the emergency room immediately."

At this point, I'm still trying to come to terms with it. My partner just turned 44. We have an active lifestyle; we eat healthfully; we don't drink to excess. We just got fucked over by genetic risk factors.

The scariest part is that we wouldn't have found out about any of this if they hadn't gone to the doctor for a completely unrelated issue. I'm trying not to think about it too hard, or my imagination starts to send me into a spiral.

Please allow me to get sappy for a moment:

If you've read much of my work, you probably know my partner better than you might think, as they inspire a lot of my characterization, either directly or indirectly. If you enjoyed the way I wrote Waxer in "The Sixth Language" or Jesse in "In Which Jesse Gets What He Deserves," then you have a good idea of their personality. They are extraordinarily kind and patient, funny and sweet. They have been here for me consistently for twenty years, first as my friend, and later as my everything. They've held me when I cried, and they've made me laugh every single day since I met them. They know me better than anyone in the world, and I trust them with my soul.

They are the only person IRL who even knows that I write fanfiction, and they have read every single fic I've ever written. They've served as my guinea pig when I needed to work through the physical mechanics of a scene, and they've listened to me ramble for hours on end about plotting and characterization. They've supported and encouraged me in this and so many other areas, and now it's my turn to support them through this.

If you've read this far, I just want to say thank you for all the love, support, encouragement, and kindness you've given me over the past year. This fandom community has truly changed my life, and I am more grateful than words can communicate. I hope to see you all again very soon, hopefully with good news. But in the meantime, please know that I love you all.

May the Force be with you. 🩵

[maaskuline]

HIII SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN VERY ACTIVE LATELY ;w; i know i don't need to apologize but i just really wish i could be here more often, i've been missing being able to rp my goofy greaser boy this week!!

little vent under the cut just to update on what's goin on fjaoiceocjwkgj

my step-dad is in the hospital rn, and there's a very real chance he might pass away eventually. i'm very conflicted about it bc we never had a very good relationship at all. but he's also the primary carer for my mom who is disabled, so i've been a little extra busy with helping her out while he's been in the hospital — along with starting a new job and general financial trouble all around

SO. needless to say it's been a bit rough this week 😅 so don't be too surprised if activity here is spotty. i still have the rest of the asks from the last rp meme i reblogged in my inbox and i rlly wanna respond to those but my anxiety has just been through the roof, which makes it even harder for me to like. articulate thoughts and talk to people. ;w; so if you sent me anything and i haven't responded yet please just bare with me atm

i really wanna do something fun when i'm properly able to pick the activity back up!! but i'm still brainstorming on that rn so who knows

IN THE MEANTIME THOUGH...... if anyone wants to plot anything perchance, feel free to hmu 👉👈 i'm probably gonna have to ask that you already have some kind of idea of what to plot though bc, brain has been blank writing wise lately and words are harder to articulate for me rn but. if you're willing to deal with that then ur free to dm me if you'd like!!

also my discord if anyone would like to add me there!! (preferably let me know who you are if you add me so i don't think ur a total stranger lol)

[writingquestionsanswered]

Trouble Making Stories Work

Anonymous asked: I keep getting stuck on ideas. I can pick out one base idea to work with but can't get further than that. I could get an idea for a external conflict, but no ideas for the characters or stakes. It doesn't matter if I get an idea for a conflict first, a character, a world, or a "what if" scenario, it all just stops after that. Do I just not have enough creativity? I've been wondering if storytelling is for me at all... I have read your Creative Well stuff multiple times. I do have one, but it doesn't always have what I need. And it takes time for things to get added. If I'm working on a story and get stuck, I need ideas as soon as possible. I can't really use my time watching movies and going on walks and hope for some ideas when I need them when I'm finally at my computer trying to write. It's not often I'm able to get myself to do it.

(Ask has been edited for length...)

If you make sure your creative well is full, and stays full, and you still struggle with ideas in the moment, the problem is that you don't have a solid enough understanding of how stories work. The ideas don't go anywhere because you don't know what to do with them. You don't have a solid enough grasp on internal conflict, external conflict, motivation, goals, internal wound, plot points, story structure, character development, and world building to know where to take each idea. It's a little bit like loving cars but trying to design one without knowing anything about car construction.

I really wish I could just say "do this" or "do that" and it would magically solve the problem, but there's no quick solution. You'll have to spend some time learning about your craft before you can bring these ideas into full stories. The more books you read or listen to, the more you'll understand how stories work. You can also read writing books and articles, and watch writing videos.

While you're doing that, you can continue to work on your current stories. Pushing your brain to come up with solutions is actually helpful, and the more you fill your brain with craft knowledge, the easier those solutions will come. Here are some posts that will help in the meantime:

Fleshing Out Plot Ideas Turning a Barrage of Ideas into a Plot How to Turn Ideas into a Story Finding a Story in Characters and Setting Finding a Plot to Go with Characters/Setting Can Come Up with a Back Story but No Plot Want to Write but Can’t Come Up with a Plot Guide: How to Turn Ideas into a Story Guide: Starting a New (Long Fiction) StoryGuide: Filling in the Story Between Known Events Guide: How to Outline a Plot Basic Story Structure Beginning a New Story How to Move a Story Forward Plot Driven vs Character Driven Stories Understanding Goals and Conflict

Happy writing!

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[once-in-a-blue-moon-rising]

I've been thinking recently that the reason that a decent chunk of Squid Game character analysis doesn't hit quite right for me* is because people don't necessarily look at the characters through the lens of the show's larger metaphors, which for a show like this, I think is essential.

Let me give you an example.

Recently I've seen a little bit of pushback against the idea of Gi-hun becoming the Frontman, or becoming part of the games in some other position of power.

And let me be clear, I really do understand where people are coming from on this, given that Gi-hun is essentially the human representation of the goodness in humanity and/or the struggle against an unjust system. I also don't actually think that this is the way that HDH will end the show - Squid Game is dark, and grim, but there is an underlying optimism that this type of ending would seemingly (more on this later) crush.

However, I personally think that people who object to the possibility of it happening on the grounds that it would be OOC, or a wild unprecedented plot twist, are maybe not exploring the metaphors of the show deeply enough and/or just looking at Gi-hun as a character independent of his environment.**

The show shows us pretty clearly that the ideal outcome - the outcome that Gi-hun openly wants, too - is for the games to be stopped, and for people to stop being exploited. We all agree on this.

But we've also been shown - so far - that hasty, violent decisions are not necessarily productive in achieving that aim. This, I think, as many things in the show do, mirrors real life, and is a whole other debate which I do not have time for in this post, but is essentially this: I can go out tomorrow, and I can firebomb an institution that I disagree with. It sends a message. It may inspire others. But it may also land me in jail, or get me killed, and in either case, I will no longer be useful in the fight against that institution, and it will (probably) survive my attack. It may even use my attack to prove its own moral superiority (already In-ho is trying to do this with the 'did you enjoy playing the hero?' line).

But, maybe, if I was able to go into politics, into the system itself, I could take some smaller steps, which, over time, could improve things. Could take down this system which I want to dismantle. Of course, I would also be part of the upholding of the system in the meantime, and I might have to compromise on some things in order to move forward with others, but perhaps what I did achieve would be longer lasting. Perhaps I could ensure that I continued actively fighting for change, instead of being rendered useless.

Now, I don't pretend to know which is the best way forward, either in real life or in the show, and it doesn't really matter in this analysis, anyway. Both methods have flaws, and both are limited because they exist within a system which does not want to be destroyed.

But, to me, the second option - the political option - is legitimate, regardless of whether it's your preferred method of defiance. And that's what a Frontman Gi-hun would be. He would still symbolise that defiance and that hope, but he would be working towards his goal in a very different way. He would be working from inside the system, with the express goal of dismantling it from within. If anyone could achieve it, he could.

As I say - I don't think Gi-hun becoming the Frontman is what's going to happen in canon for a number of reasons. It's a 'slow and steady wins the race'-type method of defiance, which isn't super exciting, and which also might be hard to really bring home with only six episodes to go. It isn't super in line with Gi-hun being a canonical gambling addict, and for those viewers who don't enjoy writing hundreds of words of analysis, it might seem to give a more pessismistic message than HDH wants.

However, I also don't think it's an outlandish, jarring theory, and I think to say it is, is to ignore the fact that there are many ways to defy an oppressive system, and that to remain morally pure - to accept no part in said system - might not always be the best way to fight it.

*obviously this objectively doesn't matter, I do realise that other people's fandom content is not for me specifically!

** if it's just personal taste then this post is 100% not about that

[doyou000me]

Writing Tag Game

I got tagged by @dropthedemiurge to brag and ponder about my stories, so here we go! Thank you, Lex!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? -> 16!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? -> 112,660 words~!

3. What fandoms do you write for? -> I've posted fanfics for 빈센조/Vincenzo, Kinnporsche, The Sign, My Personal Weatherman, Playboyy and Only Friends - and have fic ideas for several other fandoms that haven't gotten written (may I refer you to the WIP tag game I've answered?)

Since dropping the fandom that was, for many years, my one main fandom, I've actively worked to branch out and write for a variety of fandoms instead! Since I mainly watch K-dramas and Thai BL series, that's were most of the fanfic ideas come from!

My current focus is my original story The Author (also on Ao3), so I haven't written any fanfics for a little while.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? -> 1) Held [The Sign] 2)The Look [My Personal Weatherman] 3) Quiet Things [The Sign] 4) Gatto Sazio (The Man That Luca Knows) [Vincenzo] 5)Not Nant [Playboyy]

5. Do you respond to comments? -> Yes! I love getting comments and want my readers to know it, so I do my best to answer even tho I don't answer immediately! I do know a comment here or there slips through and goes unanswered, but I do make it my goal to try to answer all of them in due time!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? -> I don't generally write angsty endings, so I'll have to pick a fic that I don't even have on Ao3 anymore. It was a not very healthy summer romance that got ripped apart at the end.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? -> Oooh, now that's a difficult question... Probably Held or Quiet Things; Held because it's a bit longer and so I could take the characters (and readers) through more angsty bits before we got the pay off of a happy end, and Quiet Things because it's just such a short, sweet, domestic little oneshot that's good feelings throughout.

8. Do you get hate on fics? -> No, not at all! I've been lucky to get some of the most wonderful readers!

9. Do you write smut? -> I do! Most of my writing is E-rated and very smutty.

10. Do you write crossovers? -> Yeeees.... kinda.... as in, I have been on and off writing a crossover fic with Vincenzo and Kinnporsche, but I don't have any published crossovers (yet).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? -> Not that I know of?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? -> Yes, a few, but none of them are on Ao3 anymore.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? -> No. I've talked with people about doing it a few times, but then inspiration decides to wander in another direction and life happens and nothing has come of it - yet!

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? -> Lucien Villamonte is my oldest story (original) that has been living in my head for almost 15 years now. I've lost count of how many times I've started writing on it, and in the meantime the story has just grown bigger and bigger. It is now this massive piece of worldbuilding and lore and intrigue, and the story stretches over decades. I love the world, and the story, and the main character Lucien, but I don't know if I'll ever actually be able to write his story and share it with the world.

15. What are your writing strengths? -> I really enjoy plotting, planning and outlining stories, so I've gotten pretty good at it! I've also been working on creating engaging writing that sucks the reader in and evoking the feelings I want the reader to experience, so those are some things I've gotten better at but want to work on further!

16. What are your writing weaknesses? -> Action scenes! First figuring out what happens and how, and then conveying that in a clear manner that doesn't stop the momentum - I find action scenes to be some of the most difficult scenes to write!

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? -> Oh, yes! I have done it, and I have read stories that do it really well, and I think it can be an incredible way to enrich a story and round out a character! That doesn't mean it's easy; there are many ways of approaching it, and I'd love to explore it further in future writing!

18. First fandom you wrote for? -> I thiiiiink the first fanfic I ever wrote was for Bleach? Or rather, I wrote a thing and then I just switched out the names of the characters to those of Bleach characters - it was Ichigo, Grimmjow and..... Renji, maybe? I don't rememeber, it's a long time ago.

19. Favourite fic you’ve written? -> Unfortunately, it's among those that I've since taken down, but among the ones that I have up on Ao3... I'm very fond of the "Luca Knows" series of oneshots I've written for Vincenzo, and of course the original story The Author that I'm currently writing is very special to me.

Now! To tagging! I'm passing this one on to @7nessasaryevils, @welcometothelairofthebitchking, @overthinkthis and @miusmusings! Hope you have fun with it!

[baxterstockmanisthecenterfold]

any current story WIPs?

I've honestly been a little secretive about it lately. But I have had a Stockman story in development for a long while now. Since about mid to late 2019 actually. It's a little dumb. But It was a while after i had watched "Into the spiderverse" & I loved the movie so much that it was an actual butterfly effect in terms of what it would later lead me to write & create a ton of stories & characters that I have hidden for now but I do genuinely want to share with the world some day, that'll hopefully be well received.

In the meantime tho, It also inspired me to do my own multiverse story (which I'm aware is as of now a very overdone storyplot at this point), that I did start working on in 2019 & 20. But after I left the TMNT fandom & dropped all my TMNT related things I stopped working on it too & it was pretty much left dormant for the next 4 years. Earlier this year tho when I did get back into the Stock side of TMNT, I did consider revisiting the idea & after a while I decided to finally get to writing it again & I'm already 4 chapters in. Tho like I said tho. It is a little dumb & overdone now. But just for my own personal accomplishment I want to finish it.

These old pictures I made aren't entirely far off. My current story premise is pretty much The Stockmanverse.

It's not a bad for bar copy of Spiderverse, but like I said it did inspire it.

The plot is, it's been a year since Owari & the Foot clan disbanded & Baxter had no other choice but to go back to his old miserable life & his old miserable job. But not for long as he wants to make a superior comeback so the world can finally recognize & remember his genius. Later in the night while looking for parts to start his plan of action he accidentally discovers a hidden underground facility full of refuge Triceratons all being led by Mozar who survived the Ulixes’power cores & Fugutoid's dark matter explosion but barely, as there's barely any Triceratons left. So they're building a machine that opens up a portal to the multiverse to get more Triceratons from all over the multiverse to rebuild their army & species & then take over the multiple galaxies. Baxter gets himself discovered & small hijinx ensues, and one of his MOUSERS gets caught in the mix of the machine. Baxter's barely able to escape but now he's constantly looking over his shoulder because of this new secret he learned, if things couldn't get bad enough, he finds out there's a new batch of MOUSERS running around. Only he didn't make them. Could a copycat be related to last night's discovery?

And that's pretty much the gist of it. I don't know when I'll be finished with it but I do know I plan to finish it & even share it if anybody's interested.

[spicyicetea]

So… I used to play Obey me a while back, but I finally decided to get back into it. You can thank Beel, I've always loved him. I decided that I'll open up my questions to any and all obey me related content but I also have a few ideas of my own I kinda want to write anyways.  I don't remember the plot of the original game that well. I know I could just go back and go through the chapters again, but I want to experience the game properly again so am currently waiting for the damn account deletion to be done so I can replay (Finally get to do it on the 19th). In the meantime,I've decided to start playing Nightbringer, I'm currently on Lesson 12, I don't remember what level though. I'm enjoying myself, Beel has been my focus since day one but seeing Diavolo in his demon form constantly… damn… ANYWAY!

Because I don't know the story as well as I generally know the characters, I have to make significant changes to the MC in my writing as I don't know all the vague lore you get about them every now and then. However, I've decided just blanking them out is too boring. A few complaints I've seen about x reader/xMCs is that they tend to be written with little to no significant personality, which makes sense to project upon but can become bland. I try to give my MCs different personalities and decide that I'll just do the same thing here. But, like more. I have one or two draft ideas but I'm still caught between them. I know I want to have the MC be an established character rather than a husk, it makes sense to have them be so blank for a game but it can sometimes make it hard to relate to such a blank slate in writing. (For me at least). Out of the drafts I've decided to go with, my first idea, which is to keep the Human MC but not have them be from the human world in the game. I was originally considering making the MC be from the real world, but to further differentiate the game MC to the way I want to write them, they're going to be from a world that is a bit more magical. It won't be blatantly in your face in the way of being overpowered or as strong as Solomon, but the MC isn't a pushover and doesn't like being disrespected. I suppose I should introduce our MC before posting the little preview to gauge interest. 

MEET MC:

Currently she is being represented by my persona, but there is 0 description of her appearance in the actual writing, well other than basic fem descriptors, tiddie and thicc thighs because I am a whore. Now you can kinda already see some vague lore with all the hands. As I mentioned before, this MC comes from a world with magic, including angels, demons and more. The five mentioned briefly in the drawing refers to some characters that help establish her backstory and why she is in the Devildom in the first place, they won't play key roles in the story itself, unless people are interested in who they are.

Obey me! x reader (slight Yandere/possessive behaviour)

Warnings: All writing on my page is either full Yandere or somewhat Yandere, with possessive tendencies. Many may include mentions of violence, swearing and sexual imagery. MDNI. Demons trying to stake their claim over you already.

Prologue kinda

The tip of my foot tapped against the tiles as I continued to whisk the frosting in the bowl, cradled in my arms. Swaying side to side to the tune I hummed under my breath, a soft tail curling around my ankle grounding me again. I look to my side with a smile, crouching down and running my free hand through the soft cats fur.

“Hiya Jiji, are you alright?” I cooed, my cat rolling onto her back.

I close my eyes in a smile as my fingers go to scratch between her ears, but instead brush against the cold floor. With a pout I open my eyes, only to stare at an unfamiliar floor. The air feels stagnant and keeps catching in my throat, randomly appearing somewhere else armed with only a whisk and a bowl of frosting would do that to someone though. At the sound of a loud “Ahem” I slowly rose from my hunched of position.

“Who are you?” A stern voice called from behind me, clearly not happy to have a visitor.

Biting my lip nervously I turned on my heels to face them only to be met with a hoard, oh wait group is the appropriate word. Scanning over their horns and defensive posture, they must be demons… but I had never seen any demons like them back home. Speaking of home, I don’t recognise this place at all from hell when I’d visit to do business. My eyes darted to the bracelet on my wrist, the charms dangling there and not responding as I pressed on them.

“Damn it…” I muttered under my breath.

“I’ll ask again, who are you?” The voice asked again far more forcefully.

I dropped my arm back to my sides as I looked up at the demons. Upon a second glance, it was clear that three of them weren’t demons but angels, well one seems to be human but a shady one at that. Despite the suffocating anxiety settling in, I bit my lip and debated my options. Dying in a foreign hell didn’t seem too nice right about now.

‘Remember Y/N, when meeting anyone, no matter their status, act polite and formal. It has the lowest likelihood of backfiring.’ A voice echoed in my mind.

As much as I hated it when… he decided to implant thoughts in my memory, they were often useful. Heeding the voice’s advice I promptly bowed, straightening my posture as a rose again.

“My name is Y/N, I’m a human.”

“Y/N? Human? How intriguing, how is a human like you here?” The man beside the first laughed, placing a hand on the stern one’s shoulder as he spoke.

As if sharing the same thought, the all turned to the white haired human before he chuckled awkwardly and shook his head.

“Don’t look at me, this isn’t my doing, I don’t know anyone named Y/N.”

I just stood silently, watching as they devolved into bickering, the red-head who had addressed me before standing aside with another man, entertained my their squabbles. That was until I received a firm poke to my shoulder. I jolt at the sudden contact, smacking them on the cheek with the whisk still in my hand.

“Oh, can I?” The ginger asked, motioning to the bowl tucked under my arm.

I raised a bow and just held the whisk up at his face, him leaning forward and licking the frosting off, starting blankly at me before changing to a content smile and licked the rest of the frosting off of it.

“Mmm, sweet, did you make this?”

“Huh? Well, yes?”

He nodded, grabbing my shoulders and turning to face the group, his yelling grabbing their attention.

“Lucifer! We’re keeping her!”

“What?! No we’re not!”

“I think it’s an amazing idea, Lucifer! She can move into the spare room in the House of Lamentation!”

“Diavolo… yes sir.” Lucifer sighed.

—————————-

And that’s how I ended up here, sat on a bed that was apparently now mine while a demon cooed and painted my nails.

“Ah, you look so adorable Y/N-chan,” Asmodeus sang, admiring my now dry nails.

It had only been a day since I had been… given refuge in this house, and it was already exhausting. The brothers seemed to not trust me, yet clung to me whenever I went into shared living spaces. I’ve been jumped on, bit and two of the brothers even started yelling at each other when their “Y/N schedule” overlapped. It wasn’t all bad though. The brothers weren’t the only ones present at the time and the others seemed to stick around.

As Asmodeus dragged me by my arm out of the room into the library, I gulped as all eyes drew to us, their hungry stares sending shivers up my spine. As my eyes met a pair of friendly gold ones, a grin spread on Diavolo’s face, ushering me over.

“Ah, Y/N, are both of you done with your pampering? Come sit with us!” Diavolo grinned, patting his thigh.

I walk over to sit between him and Barbatos, standing waiting for an opportunity to sit down. Both of them looked at each other with a smirk, Diavolo leaning back and patting his thigh again.

“Come, what has you hesitating?” He grinned.

“Wait, you want me to… sit on-“

Diavolo leant forwards, intertwining our fingers as he pulled me towards himself, using his other hand to spin me around and sit me on his thigh. I tense up, hands shooting to sit in my lap. His hands stay on my hips, rubbing up and down my sides as he casually continued to speak to brothers.

“Lucifer, have you thought about our previous discussion?”

“Yes, my brothers and I would be more than able to monitor her at RAD.”

“Wait what?” I ask, turning back to look at Diavolo.

He just chuckled and leant forwards, his chin resting on my shoulder.

“Well, you must be here for some reason even if you’re unaware, so we’ve decided to let you stay. To help you integrate into the Devildom we’re enrolling you in RAD, the Royal Academy of Diavolo. Lucifer and his brothers will look after you during your stay, so if any problems come up, please do tell them. I don’t mind if you come visit Barbatos and I though, I can always make time for… special guests.”

His horns rubbed against the back of my neck as his grip tightened when the other brothers come into the library. Yeah… this is going to be a stressful stay.

Yay finally managed to copy past this without my tumblr having a stroke. I hope you people like this, I’m down horrendous for these men and really want an excuse to write for these characters. The relationships will build quickly and each new update will focus on a character primarily, perhaps with nsfw? Idk depends on how well you all take this. There are some characters I think would make sense to get close to first in this so I’ll make it up to y’all. As much as I want Diavolo sadly I don’t think, going down the harem route, that he’d be the first one you offically started dating, he’d probably be either after or just before Lucifer to be honest.

[braindeathaoe]

🌧️Groundhog Day🌨️ (02/02/25)

"Off to see the groundhog?"

Hey all!

It's been a good few days since my last update.

Brain Death's timeline has undergone some refinement; so have some characters. Naturally, I've barely made a dent in my goals.

Even still, I can't see a time where I'll have any clue what I'm doing.

~It's a lifestyle.~

ADHD meds have given me some trouble—namely my heart. BPM was too high for a while, so I'm deciding to not be dumb and be more conscious about getting enough exercise and eating healthy.

Hopefully the soreness will go away soon. I'm trying my hardest to pace myself and ease into things, lest I relapse and stop altogether.

Among other benefits, slowing down and focusing on myself more than the game has given me the opportunity to recharge. Some days I'll feel so excited and want to jump into ChoiceScript, but I can't yet.

~Where's all the progress?~

For a long time, I was admittedly not very focused on fleshing out plot or lore. I was instead trying to fully immerse myself into one of the settings so that I could decide which choices to present.

Dialogue/interactions with characters were left on the backburner.

I had a few key points decided, and a general idea of how things should be, but that was it. Now, though... I have some answers.

✨ To-Do List ✨

(✅ is complete, ❌ is not.)

Decide what triggers the time-loop of an Oracle ✅

Give MC a canon personality/name ✅ (name = optional; personality is impacted by your choices.)

Create a timeline of major events relevant to current build ✅

Write scenarios treading the line between hope and despair ✅

Find a good spot to end Demo v0.2 ✅

Set near-unrealistic standards ✅

Wonder how it'll end ✅

Humanize characters by giving them flaws and quirks ✅

Worry that it won't be enough to please you ✅

Decide the placement and flow of Act I Chapters ❌

Finish timeline in its entirety ❌

Come up with enough suitable events for v0.2 ❌

Write another character to fill a void in Chapter Two ❌

Finish writing and coding current build ❌

Release the fuckin thing— ❌

As you can see, I'm mostly right where I started, game-wise. Can't beat myself up over it though! The longer I spend meditating on this, the more ideas flow into me. I want to make something beautiful.

Thanks for hanging around in the meantime.

💧Please, hydrate.💧

[lostaroace]

🎉

Congratulations on your writing progress! That has to be a great feeling!

Anything you want to tell us about your book? What genre is it? ☺️

Thank you!! I'm overwhelmed with joy. This story has been in my mind since 2017 and I never got to fully develop it until now. First draft it's done and, although it needs work and polishing, it's already more than I could dream of.

The genre of my book is Achillean Noir Novel/Thriller meaning that we have a gay couple for our romantic turn of events plus some criminal investigation tying up the plot. We also have two separate lines of investigation, one in the present of the book in 2017 and a secondary one in 2005.

I must say this started out as a romcom, turned dark, and puff crime novel. It was very challenging not only because I've been writing in my third language but I've also pick one of the most intricate genres to write. A genre I had no idea I could write even in Spanish!!

The result is coming out nicer than I thought. My first plan was to write the book and then self publish it on Amazon but now I'm feeling confident enough to send it to agents first and try my luck. Self punishing is always a great way to put my work out there, therefore I want to reach for the most uncertain path and reach to agents. Once it gets denied, I will use Amazon. In the meantime, I'll be drawing the cover art and some other art for the book after I've done all the revisions (I expect like 7 or 8 drafts before it's completely finished).

Thank you so much for asking!!

[yuseirra]

I'm drawing a comic~ for the meantime...this manga honestly made me so frustrated and pissed earlier, I just ranted on and I found it so funny to read. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, here's how I feel about it rn!!

oh, this is such a perfect time to take a break from it though, i constantly feel so nervous about creating something for it because things escalate fast and I need to make good sense of it and reflect it into my works EVERY week. I am nuts for staying accurate to the source material (it may not seem like it but I'm really a perfectionist and I wish to do a good job getting the characters right) This work has a knack for making me feel extremely tense. It's been that way for the past three months I've hopped in, it's nice and enjoyable to have something to be invested on but sometimes it gets too much.. people are growing insane and pointing knives at each other, our protagonist stabbed himself and fell into the waters. The fact that I think it was an utterly foolish decision for him to have been that way does not help. I do not support what he's done. It does make a pretty impressive scene considering it's a manga and the art looks good, I think they planned that scene to be there from the beginning too but Sigh

I think he directed his anger to the wrong guy. I am not convinced that was the right choice he's made so I hate the look of it. Way to feel this way about the main character huh,

I can't draw.. when things make me this nervous, what else is going to unfold? I feel like I can see the big picture for the whole thing, but there is no way I can predict all the little details and what if things get super ugly, even uglier than how it is now?? I can't possibly work with that, it's just so hard!; Mengo-san Aka-san, what did I do to deserve this?? I came in because I thought I understood what this is!!! I have a good idea of how things are going to go!!! Why do you have to make everything SO MESSY?? It's frustrating. I AM collecting the physical volumes you know? I WANT TO TILL THE END?? please don't make me regret it, You seriously AREN'T going to make the one guy Ai confessed her love to a total freak. You know that and I know it too. It's just out there and set in stone, goodness. This isn't funny. This is so pointless. It wears me out ugghhh it's not about the ship I mean, it's about the message!!! the plot!!!!!! I really don't like how this manga makes things way more complex than what it actually is. It doesn't have to be that way.

Heheh. I ranted again- the stuff below's what I wrote earlier. Honorable mention to chatgpt for helping me translate it.. this is just. I just want things to get resolved. It's getting so dumb.

***

Kamiki is drowning and getting dragged away, Aqua stabs himself, then floats on the water with a melancholy expression on his face… and then there's a break for two weeks or so, right? Ugh, seriously.

But honestly, even in this weirdly ended situation, I’m actually glad there’s a break. If there wasn’t, I wouldn’t be able to write things like this. I get too nervous to write because I really hate making mistakes. I genuinely don’t like it. Normally, I wouldn’t enjoy talking about uncertain situations like this…

But what can I do when I see things?;;; If I didn’t understand anything at all, I wouldn’t be able to write something like this, and if I didn’t have enough time, I wouldn’t have time to think about it, so I wouldn’t be able to write then either. But now that I do understand, it’s just… so frustrating, suffocating, nerve-wracking, and I feel all fidgety because of it.

Honestly, this manga should just release one chapter and then take a break. Release one chapter and then take a break. It would be nice to have about a week to think about it with a clear mind. It’s so exhausting, really. I feel like I know where this is all headed in the end, but the creators have been dragging things out so slowly. Even with the Aqukana storyline, I got so tired with how they handled it that I took a break from reading it last year…

The story hands you the key. It even clearly shows you the door that the key can open. But then it puts up dozens of other doors next to it, meaningless ones. Even after giving you all the answers, it tries to confuse you. But you can see right through it. And while doing that, it points to each door saying, 'Isn't this door pretty~~~ How about that one?' constantly taunting you along. All while it's them that's given you the key already in the first place.

It’s really frustrating… I’m so tired. If I couldn’t see anything, I’d just watch while grumbling or be like, 'Oh…' and keep my distance without overthinking it. But it’s suffocating and frustrating not knowing why they’re doing such pointless things, and it makes me anxious too…

Well… I could just take a break, but… I really like Ai. And when I look at the man she loved, I feel like he could actually be a really good character too, so I watch carefully… There’s a lot to dig into. It would be nice to shift the focus onto the other characters, too, but…

Seriously, nothing’s been properly resolved, has it? They’ve been dragging it out for ages. The characters keep doing crazy things. You can’t end a story like this. It’s just… they're not writing well, but they’re doing it on purpose. This manga is like that; the creators enjoy twisting things, and I should just enjoy that too, but I don't think I do. I just want to use the key and go through the door; I’m not interested in looking at the various door knobs. I wish they’d just stop now. I feel like I know what’s going on. That’s why I’m here to draw fan art. I get so up and down every week, but if the outcome isn’t what I’m thinking, I have no idea what it could be, and I don’t think it would make for a good story at all. I’m not saying it has to go the way I want for it to be a good story! It’s just… if it doesn’t, it feels like the message will completely collapse. It’s not about the couple… Even if the characters die, as long as the story is good, that’s fine, but the framework has to hold up!

About Kamiki's state,

his trauma and the dire-ness of his mentality is probably even more serious than Aqua’s, right? And I actually got that right too.

They said they only felt alive when they were with Ai. That means, in essence, they’re as good as dead now. But if they still want to keep living in that state, it means there was something they believed they had to do.

That’s likely related to the wishes mentioned in Mephisto and Fatal.

‘I want to see you. I want your life to return.’ (Mephisto)

‘I want to get closer to you. I want to receive your love again.’ (Fatal)

'For that, I can do anything. I can even offer my life. I can sacrifice anything. What more do I need to use?' <(Common themes in both songs)

In short, it’s all about 'I want to see you.'"

The "you" here refers to Ai.

That’s what it is.

Well… when you think about it, what Kamiki is doing now is essentially that. His underlying wish was that, but the way he’s going about it has become completely twisted. I don’t think he developed this kind of logic on his own. He’s been influenced or possessed by something. Because he was never someone who could hurt others.

This character didn't harm Ai… I truly believe he wouldn't have hurt her. Everything he’s doing now, in his own way, is probably for Ai. It’s just that he’s gone mad.

And thus, you can infer he's in such a serious condition, yet it hasn’t been highlighted at all.

They made his past so tragic and horrifying (I try to thoroughly analyze the character's psychological state; as I mentioned before, I try to sync up with their emotions…), and yet, with this character, there are parts I just can’t dive into because it’s too overwhelming. It’s plainly obvious. He’s not in his right mind right now. He’s too depressed and tormented to be alive.

Think about it, he’s been through extremely serious things since he was at least ten years old, maybe even younger… Just thinking about it makes me… I once considered exploring this, incorporating to my works, but I simply couldn’t. I really couldn’t… it’s too horrifying!

If the author had written him in a way where he turned into a serial killer because he developed a hatred for women or something like that, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive it. Even though I haven’t experienced such things, I feel I know enough of it to say that would be too shallow, convenient, and disrespectful. That’s really not how you handle such material. It’s beyond lazy—it's irresponsible. But I didn’t think it would go that way.

Whether this character ends up being revealed as the ultimate villain or not, if they’ve created a character like this and don’t address it properly, it’s not respectful to the character. It’s too much…

But I believe that the creators have a certain affection for what they’ve created, so I trust they’ll handle it. I just… want to see it handled properly. I think the delay is because they couldn’t fully express it while the anime was airing. They keep taking breaks and adjusting their pace; part of it might be due to the creators’ conditions, but I think they might have deliberately delayed introducing new content to match the anime’s schedule.

Honestly, I got into this because I knew. I realized, "Ah, this is what this character is going through."

He really liked Ai. It was set up in a way that he had no other choice but to become that way.

Other characters have their own core identity, right? Even if you strip away all their relationships with other characters, they have something of their own.

But when you look at this character, from the planning stage, everything was set to align with Ai, and without Ai, the character itself wouldn’t exist…;; He just collapses. Like in the lyrics, "I can’t live without Ai." The only consolation is that Ai truly did love him back… It’s like, the creators made this character specifically as a match for Ai, you know?

When you create a character like that, it’s only right to handle it in a way that makes that visible.

About his relationship with Ai… it’s not like I just think they look good together or something… It’s more like, when you look at the story and the way the characters are built, it’s obvious that they were made that way!!!

But even in the current situation and how ugly it is, there's one reason I think Ai made a good choice in picking him as her husband. She picked a extremely handsome guy and passed down superior looks to their kids haha. When you look at him, it doesn't make it seem like Ai is way out of his league in terms of looks, does it? She met someone who matched her well and dated him, that’s how it feels. I’m pretty sure they’re really gods, you know? They’re like the god of entertainment and the god of light. Their story is just too similar… they resemble each other so much… If you look at mythology, Ame-no-Uzume’s husband just fell for her at first sight, got swept along, married her, and they even shared a shrine, living happily together… Ame-no-Uzume just barged into his domain, made herself at home, and they got together right away. That god really married well. He ruled over not just one or two domains, but was a supreme indigenous deity and was considered just and noble… It’s like, “Oh, I like this one,” and she picked him like that. And judging by the drawings, Ame-no-Uzume was really beautiful… She was incredibly cute… I was so happy looking at that mythology. They bless the couple’s fate and marriage because they’re satisfied and happy with each other. People even make masks of the two gods and wear them together during festivals.

Look, if I’m a romance writer and I want to write something related to the entertainment industry, and I borrow mythology, and I know this couple's mythology? And then I write a story like this? Well… from my perspective, Kamiki is a mad god who went crazy after losing his wife. He genuinely loved Ai. Look at his expression in chapter 162. It’s the same as in chapter 153. He loved her that much, and on top of that, she was his savior, his lover, and even the mother of his child, raising them risking everything she's got. He believes she died because of his mistake—so what would he do? He might have thought about following her in death but couldn’t, so he thought, "If I do something, maybe Ai will come back." And when that didn’t work, he just ended up desperately wanting to see Ai again… I think that’s what drove him mad. I don’t think he’s in his right mind. He’s totally lost it. I mean, who could stay sane after losing someone like that for over a decade?

It’s not like the readers should have to guess why he’s fallen apart like this, right? It’s time for the story to show us. I’m really struggling with this—making deductions, writing, drawing—and every time a new chapter is released, people come to me, feeling sad or offering comfort. Seriously, I’m fine! isn’t it? Aren’t the creators romance writers? How could they not cover this? It’s not just about the couple��this is such rich material, and not using it would be a waste, don’t you think? And it doesn’t make sense… Why would they write it so that Ai loved someone truly strange? It’s not like that. Ugh, seriously.

As I always say, it’s not my work, so I could be completely wrong.

Still… it just feels like such a waste. Not using this? Not doing this?

I think all the clues are there… They’re doing this on purpose. Just wait and see. I’m not called the Prophet-type for nothing (INFJ)? When it comes to things like this, my intuition isn’t that bad. There are a lot of things I’ve figured out as soon as I saw them.

What’s frustrating about this manga is that if the plot progression itself is confusing, that’s fine as a mystery element.

But here, they give you all the answers, then pretend they haven’t, dragging things out while playing dumb. That really makes me go, “What are they doing?” It’s like they show all the answers and then, without reason, go off on a tangent. It’s like entering the destination into a navigation system, knowing where you’re supposed to go, but steering the car in the opposite direction for three hours.

Then, they turn around like nothing happened and head towards the destination. It’s pointless. If you don’t know the destination from the start, there’s a thrill as you go. But this just looks like foolishness. It’s like, eventually, it’ll come to this conclusion, but the story gives you the answer upfront and then insists, "Actually, no~" and lies about it. I don’t think it’s a very good method. It’s tiring…

Maybe it works in a volume format, but reading it as it’s released makes you wonder, "What’s even going on here?"

Haha, I came into this with confidence. At this point, there’s quite a bit that’s built up.

When I think about it, I’ve gotten all the critical parts right. Look at the expressions Kamiki makes when he looks at Ai. Does he look like someone who would order Ryosuke to kill Ai just because she rejected him?

This guy just can’t come to his senses after Ai’s death. He’s been doing everything he could just to see Ai again.

And if you’re still confused, the answer is always in Ai’s video message.

Would Ai, of all people, say she wanted to live forever with someone who ordered her death? That’s not how you write that story. The answer was already there, so I don’t know what this manga is doing.

That's why I'm not worried about Aqua right now! I'm mad! LOL. Hey, your dad definitely loved your mom more than anyone else in the entire world. He loved her more than his own life. Well, maybe you put Ruby first… But seriously, is he really so crazy that he tried to kill Ruby just to save Ai?!

But if that's the case, then it means he's not in his right mind, so he needs an exorcism…;;

How could Aqua not understand what kind of person his dad is, even after playing him as his role? Why can't he get a sense of it? Why didn't he listen, and instead tried to drown him in the ocean? Why did he do that? Is he really that evil? Am I missing something? Why are you like this? I can’t sympathize with it—was that really the only way? It doesn’t look that way to me. This is like a parade of fools, seriously. Did I completely miss the mark? Am I really wrong? Did I get everything wrong, and did I fail to see it properly? Then why does Ai’s video message say what it does?

Aqua, please get a grip. And Kamiki is out of his mind. He needs to go to a hospital. Seriously. What is all this?

That's all.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Hi there! I was wondering if you have any advice/opinions on the importance of originality vs. the finer mechanics of a story (plot, character motivations, etc). I've always been insecure about having unoriginal ideas, but the few times I've had an idea that feels genuinely unique, every other important element of the work feels lacking. The characters are passive and unmotivated, the plot is full of holes, etc. Currently, I have an idea which I'm not confident in the originality of, but the character has clear motivations and the plot, while tropey and not the most original, has a clear direction and no immediately obvious holes. So I'm a bit torn up over whether it is better to bend over backwards to try to make the unique ideas work or to go with the one that is less original, but comes easily to me and ticks all the other important boxes. Ultimately, I'm writing it for me, but if I ever did decide to publish, I worry the premise alone wouldn't catch the attention of potential publishers or readers. Any input you might have would be much appreciated!

Here's what I'm going to recommend: Throw out ideas of originality and marketability for now. They're both holding you back from making the real decision you need to make. Sit down and ask yourself some questions:

Which story concept has more appeal (to you)? Does thinking about working on it make you feel excited, or fill you with dread? Wanting to work on the story is the most important factor here. Trying to force something because you think you must do it won't work.

Which story concept is easier for you to write? You already have the answer to that, but I want you to think about why. What about your more conventional story makes it easier to make characters for and plot? Is it because that's where you feel more comfortable at? Is it because that's the kind of story you most like to read?

Which story concept do you see yourself finishing (and editing)? Carrying the story through to the end is the biggest factor here. If writing the story is a slog from beginning to end, you're probably not going to end up with a finished book that you like.

Now obviously, I am leaning toward one way - the story that comes more easily for you. I'm doing that for a couple of reasons, but mainly a finished story with interesting characters and a cohesive plot is going to be a much easier sell than a unique story with no appealing characters and a plot that's confusing. Most readers are sold on good character arcs and fun plots, not the uniqueness of the premise. If uniqueness is all you have, there's little appeal to the reader.

This does not mean you should toss out those unique and appealing story ideas! You want to write them, and they will not go away, but you're not going to suddenly wake up and become the next China Mieville or Jeff VanderMeer overnight. Getting those unique story ideas to work means giving them time to become something you can write while in the meantime still writing and working on stories that you know you can write.

Put those little plot mushrooms in a dark place and let them grow while you continue to develop the skills you need to bring them to life. Review them from time to time, but if they aren't ready and other stories are, don't force them. One day you will find the key you need to pull them together in a way in a story you're ready and excited to write, but in the meantime, give yourself permission to become.

Uniqueness doesn't sell books; good stories do.