#in the grand scheme of things its not an insane amount of money

[ot3]

[bridgespider]

The way this post makes my brain explode should be studied. It honestly seems so privileged to not have to know about how truly hazardous pregnancy is for anybody, at any age. Really, I wish I could live in a world where I could think like this, but I do not. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinions; I may disagree with yours but that's okay! That isn't what annoys me about this post. What does in fact annoy me is the blatant ignorance towards pregnancy as a whole, and how much everything can affect it.

Before I start, did you know that in 2017 alone The World Health Organization estimated that about 300,000 women died because of pregnancy-related causes? Did you know that amounts to 808 women a DAY who died because of it? Do you believe all those women were in their 40s or 50s?

Now I've read through your post, and I won't lie it isn't all complete garbage! I could skip over all of your incredibly insane rambles about the fact that there needed to be another adult who groomed Anakin to make it interesting. Or the fact that someone in her mid-twenties, deciding to have a relationship with her 'dead' husband's brother figure, (who btw has had no interest in her) would seem like, as you have stated "doesn't feel like a decision she's making so much as the circumstances acting upon her" which then treats her as if she's too immature, and I won't lie to me feels like it's almost slutshaming, there would still be so much that would piss me off about this.

Now let's start at the top, shall we?

"-like already in the original she shouldn't have kept the baby but the movie is christian and the audience too the vibe is "noo pregnancy is beautiful its luke and leia awww"." Yes, I agree there should be nervousness surrounding the pregnancy, you aren't wrong about this. What they are doing is treason, it will jeopardize their lives. What blows my mind is genuinely how hysterical this take is though. Did we watch the same franchise? The reason these two did not keep the baby is not because "the movie is Christian" The reason they kept the baby is because these two were married!!! They were in love!!! They wanted to have a family together but knew they couldn't!!! That's why this situation wasn't planned!!! Yes, they could have had an abortion, and that should always be a choice. If you actually understood their characters, you would understand why they didn't!!! They genuinely wanted their baby!!! These two never would have started a family because they knew how dangerous that was!! Once they actually were having one though, and they assumed the war was ending, this was a blessing for them! She didn't keep the baby because "it's luke and leia awww" She kept it because this was the next step, they had DREAMED of getting to have one day.

"-like young padmé is healthy and rich, she'll have the best medical care theres no reason to think her pregnancy will have complications" The only part about this sentence that has truth to it is that fact that Padme being rich may help her out. A big part of pregnancy-caused deaths is because of lack of healthcare and help. Since Padme has money and was a Queen, she would have support that could help her. Really, that's the only backbone to this entire part of your post. Padme being "young" and "healthy" does not matter. Yes, this gives her more likely odds of having a safer birth and pregnancy, but also means jack shit in the grand scheme of things. Did you know that 25 to 34 percent of women have traumatic births? May I repeat my question, do you believe all these women are in their 40s-50s? My own mother was about the same age as Padme was when she gave birth to the twins, and she was healthy when she gave birth to me. Her own birth was so traumatizing that neither she nor my father can remember big chunks of it because their brains physically locked it away.

You may not understand this, which is why I am almost 100 percent certain you are not a female, but every single pregnancy is incredibly dangerous. Every single body is different. Some people's bodies, they're completely healthy, it may seem so on the outside, but inside there are things that happen. Complications can so fucking easily happen it's terrifying. There are so many little things that can go wrong. Parts of yourself not fully developing. Hiccups in pushing. Parts of your baby get stuck inside of you, and it's slowly killing both of you. These things happen to everyone. They will continue to happen to everyone. It's terrifying. You could be 17, 23, 34, or 45 and all of these risks are the same. Did you know young pregnancies are as dangerous as older pregnancies? There are so many reasons for people to believe that complications could happen. Yes, she seemed healthy, and yes she was younger, but that DOES NOT MEAN COMPLICATIONS CAN'T HAPPEN!!!

"She died of grief while fully healthy which i think everyone can agree was fucking stupid." Now this is the age-old debate. What it seems everyone can't seem to handle in a franchise about space wizards. Yes, this situation may seem 'boring', people may have theories they prefer, that's okay! What I can't stand is you saying that everyone can agree with it being "fucking stupid."

A lot of people do not realize how dangerous stress can be to not only women but their babies when pregnant. Can you imagine how much stress she must have been under while being a politician during a literal all out galactic WAR? This is at the bare minimum something that could have been stressing her out for MONTHS before Anakin ever came back.

There are two ways you can look at Padme's death. She either died of a broken heart, or from the pure stress put on her. BOTH are just as understandable and logical.

If you go the stress route, this poor girl was stressing for MONTHS because of the War going on, the fact that her Husband, the father of her baby was out there fighting and may not come home is another contender for her stress levels being way worse than normal. Dude, the stress she went through alone could have easily pushed her into premature labor and caused so many dangerous complications.

If you go the broken heart route, there's even more understanding of why this could have happened. The first thing that happens on the night she dies, is she watches the Jedi Temple be burned to the ground from her apartment. She KNOWS this is happening, she watches it, and she's terrified that Anakin could be hurt.

Then, she has Obi-Wan come and tell her that Anakin killed all the younglings. The love of her life, the father to the almost fully conceived child in her stomach just slaughtered almost every single Jedi child. The love of her life, her other half just slaughtered every single child that was in the temple. Kids that looked up to him. Children that he may have gotten to meet in passing. She doesn't know he hesitated; she doesn't know that he almost let them go.

Then, she on her own, she thought, went to go find him. She had to witness firsthand how he's changed. How the person she loves is gone. Then, when he's angry at her, HE STRANGLES HER. He cuts off her airflow for at LEAST ten seconds, if not longer. Do you understand how dangerous cutting off airflow can be?? If you're cutting off her airflow then guess what, you're cutting off the BABIES' airflow. There are so many factories that could have played into her death. She hit her head on the ground. Her throat probably swelled up from being choked out. And then she was left there while Obi-Wan took care of Anakin.

Then, Padme had to go through labor almost alone. She had Obi-Wan there, but the father of her children were not there. This can really affect some women!!! Not having their support system there can really fuck with you!!! Obi-Wan just left his brother to die in his mind!! He is not doing alright, and he is not going to be able to help out much here.

This all could have very easily broken her heart!! Which is a genuine thing that happens!! Stress and grief can actually cause so much stress on your heart that you can actually break it!! No, it does not break in half. What happens, is small tears can happen to your heart, and it can kill you. It isn't a high percentage, I can admit that, but do you think with all the stress on her, the pure grief of losing her Husband, the physical things she's gone through, and the fact she is in ACTIVE LABOR could easily have a large factor of making her apart of that percentile? Because I sure do.

Now, this was the end of most of your incredibly ridiculous pregnancy takes, and ignorance. But you know, you just kept going. You just kept saying the most ridiculous and out-of-pocket things I've ever had to witness reading.

I'm going to speedrun this part hopefully, because I don't know if mentally, I can't handle these fucking takes anymore.

"Now they're making strange, emotionally driven and unexpected decisions instead of following the script-" Do you think committing treason by falling in love, getting married, and having a baby is on script? Do you think these were not strange, emotionally driven decisions? Do you think we as a watcher of a movie where this happened would not see it coming just because she's "Old"? I promise you, most people who have eyes can usually pick up on hints, I'm so sorry if you aren't able to do that. Though, it would make sense, since you don't have comprehension skills.

God, Jesus fucking Christ now we're here to this part. This part genuinely makes me wonder if you were fucking high when you wrote this.

Okay, let's start this crazy ass trainwreck I've had to read several times. "delicious wonderful scenario where obiwan and padmé have an affair after anakin joins the dark side" First, let me tell you how stupid this is. Yes, things can happen because of grief. It is not unheard of for people, especially a widowed wife and a husband's brother to hook up. These characters though would just genuinely never?? We now have concrete evidence with Ahsoka and The Mandalorian that YES, the Clone Wars is canon to live-action Star Wars. All those dudebros that don't believe that can finally let that debate go. Let's start with the fact that Obi-Wan has loved one person, and that was Satine, who IS canon. As well as Padme who truly loved Anakin with her entire being because she saw what good was in him. Neither of these would ever have an affair. That would butcher their ENTIRE characters.

"Giving in to emotion is what a romantic heroine is supposed to do. But older padmé sleeping with obiwan after losing her extremely young husband to the dark side while at most 5 days away from giving birth is like" I got to say the fact that you're saying they're having an affair when she's FIVE DAYS AWAY from giving birth is genuinely so fucking funny. Yes, people can have sex when pregnant. The fact that you're already basing this off of such a fucking crazy idea and then saying 'Yes!!! These two-grieving people!! One who is in her late 40s or early 50s who is also grooming another person is having sex while she is 5 days away from giving birth!! With her husband's brother/father figure! They're grieving, that's why this is happening!" Genuinely makes me want to rip my eyes out of my fucking skull. Like?? What does any of this have to do with anything? Is this you saying you wished this happened? That you wanted a grieving Obi-Wan and Padme to fuck? Because truly there is no other reason for this to be brought up. Literally, nobody asked.

Then you go on to talk about how it would be an actual decision as if all of her other choices were not 'actual' decisions. It's just so fucking ridiculous and honestly fucking stupid. "For the THIRD time, she acts out of feeling instead of reason and seals her fate." What? You needed a 'third times the charm' to completely butcher her character?

"its kind of a misogynistic character arc but i don't care" This genuinely made me laugh, thank you for at least truly getting a laugh out of me. Makes me feel like my time wasn't fully fucking wasted. I just find it so funny because you're saying it's misogynistic when your entire fucking take sounds misogynistic. It's just lowkey confirming what I bet a lot of people thought about this post.

I've already written so much and yet have barely scratched the surface of how you basically turned her into a groomer. You're saying that you wouldn't change much other than her age. Does that mean a 7-year-old meets a grown-ass adult and ends up marrying her? Do you understand how fucking gross that is?? Like I barely even touched on it, but you made such a vile scenario.

I just. dear lord, I'm so happy this is over. What a fucking journey of having to live through these horrendous thoughts you spit out onto this damned website. Normally I'm not this rude but normally I don't run into this level of stupidity. Maybe if you weren't so ignorant about pregnancy, I wouldn't have even cared to make this, but I had to at least correct the blatant stupidity in this post.

Had Padmé been 20-30 years older than anakin instead of 2-3 it wouldve fixed a significant portion of the franchise, including padmé's own chracterization

[melodyalanaroster]

Why Couldn’t I Go Back To Sleep?

God… Why couldn’t I just stay asleep…. It was disturbing… But surprisingly wonderful…. And it was definitely one of the nicest things my dreams have done to me in the past few years…. I have never thought of Castiel like that… Nor have I ever had the thought pass through my mind to ask Nathaniel for a threesome with him…. Or, a threesome at all, really…. Its not that I haven’t thought about it… Nath… Maybe Priya…. But I’ve always known they’d never agree to it… So, its always been preposterous to ask….

So, why the fuck did I dream about a threesome between Nathaniel, Castiel and me?!

I’ll admit… In the grand scheme of things, the amount of stress in my life is now at a major low…. But, its still insanely stressful…. My duties to the RDR as Azrael’s protege, training Nora to take my place when I leave the RDR, my duties to my mother as her “responsible daughter”, on top of the social duties I’ve taken on since actually attending class in my final year… And don’t get me started on my mission to re-win Nathaniel’s heart… That is a heart attack in and of itself… In short, the stress is no longer life and death… But its still causing me migraines… And, yet, I still agreed to coordinate with the owner of the Cozy Bear Cafe, Director, and Hyun to plan that damned Great Gatsby Gala…. No fucking wonder the rest of my team and the Executioners are worried that I’m gonna kill myself…

Interestingly enough, the Gala went rather smoothly…. Not as smoothly as the RDR Opening Ceremonies… But smoothly all the same… I swear, I may be good… But pulling a 20′s Gala out of my ass on such a low budget in a week would have been a lot harder if it weren’t for Nina helping us out… We raised the money needed for the Art Department, I met a bunch of interesting people, had fascinating interactions with my friends and fellow society members… Then there was Nathaniel….

How many times do I have to tell that beautiful idiot that I have a tattoo on my right shoulder blade that proves that I am qualified to handle dangerous situations?! I love him. I have never once faltered in loving him. Not when I moved to Toronto to care for my mother. Not when Azrael notified me of my growing list of enemies and I was forced to break up with him so that he doesn’t get tortured and murdered in an effort to get to me. And certainly not now. By now, he knows of my devotion. I’ve shown him that I keep the ring he gave me with me at all times. I’ve talked to him, Amber and Kim about it. Just about the entire Senior Staff of the RDR have talked to him about it… And yet he insists that he’s protecting me from the dangerous stuff he’s in by keeping me at arm’s length!

Yes, I’m friends with Castiel. This has been a fact since that fool and I bonded over Disney in High School. He’s played “Little Wonders” for me on his guitar, and I’ve sang “Noble Maiden Fair” for him. But we are just friends. He knows my loyalty lies with Nathaniel, and he’s aware of how fiercely loyal I am. AND THAT’S ANOTHER THING! Castiel is yet another person around here who thinks I should be protected! I can understand people’s desire to protect me… At least the people who knew me before I became what I am… But still! He tried to protect me from NATHANIEL!

Needless to say, I wanna kick both Nathaniel’s and Castiel’s asses right now… But, of course, with the people I love most, I’m a huge push over…. So, one of two things can happen when I next see Nathaniel… He’ll either do something cute and sweet and I’ll be putty in his hands… Or I’ll stay mad just long enough for him to properly realize that he dun goofed…

But that still doesn’t explain the threesome dream!

Fuck it felt good…. Both of them, devoted to me and my pleasure… Kissing, licking, sucking and rubbing me in all the right places… And god… Nathaniel looked like an Adonis… Hell, he is one… Always has been… Castiel refused to let me forget his presence, but what else could I do? I wanted Nathaniel inside me… Throbbing and pulsing until I couldn’t feel anything from the hips down… I need it. I fucking crave him…

Of course, just my fucking luck… Right as they start taking my panties off, I wake up…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is Alana's canon reaction to the saucy dream at the end of Episode 9 of UL.

Credit goes to:

loligirlmikufan

LiyahMarih

Unnieverso

ChiNoMiko

[worldwrestlingfanatic]

Classic Review: Royal Rumble 2006

This is definitely a "spur of the moment" idea for me to review. I have no idea what brought me to wanna watch and review this pay-per-view. As I'm watching the intro while typing this I dont remember any of the feuds or big matches going into this event so I've got an open mind going into the pay-per-view.

Kid Kash (C) vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London vs. Gregory Helms

This match feels so weird. A match name so complicated and long I didn't even bother including it in this review, its pretty much just a six man free for all with the first person to score a pinfall or submission winning the match. To me it kinda just feels like around this time the cruiserweight title picture didn't have much going on but WWE still wanted to include all these guys so they were just all put together last minute to make this match. A few quick notes, Jamie Noble looks a bit odd to me in any attire other than jean shorts and it's insane to me how Paul London wasn't better utilized. Hes easily my favorite in this match and arguably the most talented. That being said, Paul London did attempt a shooting star press off the top rope into the crowd of opponents and he kinda just missed everyone and landed face first on the outside of the ring. Another quick note, does anyone actually remember Kid Kash or anything he did in WWE? I knew of him before watching this but other than this match I can't name anything he did during his time with the WWE. Gregory Helms ended up winning by pinning Funaki. The cruiserweight championship, a smackdown exclusive title was won by a Raw superstar. Not only that but he kinda had the lowest amount of impact in this match. He hit a neck breaker on Paul London off the top rope but other than that he was kind of a nonfactor. Last quick note, on commentary they mentioned that Gregory Helms used to be the Hurricane. That's crazy to me, that's like if WWE referred to Stardust as Cody Rhodes. Weird way to start the show. Not boring, not overly exciting, just... weird.

Odd Rant: I dont typically speak on backstage segments in these reviews but watching Vince McMahon interact/touch on the "Divas" was pretty uncomfortable to witness, I feel the further I go back to do these reviews, the more common stuff like this is going to be and I'm not looking forward to it. But in this same segment we got to see a young Randy Orton and that's always great.

Mickie James vs. Ashley - Special Referee - Trish Stratus

Ah yes, the storyline of unrequited love between Mickie James and Trish Stratus. Not too sure what role Ashley plays in this storyline but I'm guessing it isn't because she was super over with the fans at the time considering the crowd was pretty silent as Ashley made her way to the ring. I was confused seeing Trish be the special referee of this match since at the time she was the womans champion. Just odd to see a champion at a ppv with her championship but not defending her title. Mickie James gets the win and immediately tries to celebrate with/hug Trish but was just met with Trish not wanting anything to do with her. Neither Mickie or Ashley were really.... the greatest wrestler at this point in their careers to say the least.

Odd Rant: its increasingly getting more uncomfortable to watch Vince interact with the "Divas". If we're going to keep cutting here between matches I'm pretty worried how far these segments will go

JBL vs. The Boogeyman

The man who ate worms for real for the sake of the character who gave me creeps as a kid taking on the corrupt wall street millionaire. Wrestling has certainly given me plenty to talk about over the years. I cant even imagine how people who faced the Boogeyman planned for these matches. "Oh you're going to spit a worm into my mouth at this point in the match, okay sounds good". The Boogeyman was more entertainer than wrestler. A guy that wasn't very diverse when it came to in ring talent and was very reliant on his gimmick to get him over. Boogeyman wins in a pretty uneventful match. His finishing move was a pump handle slam and just one was enough to put away JBL which is odd because I've seen this man bleed buckets in an I quit match against John Cena so I guess Boogeyman and his pump handle slam was just that damn strong.

Royal Rumble Match

Weird that the selling point for this pay-per-view takes place less than half way through the event but like I said, I don't know any of the matches going into this show so maybe they just have a big main event planned. As I'm watching I'm now a little more than half way and this certainly isn't a very star studded rumble match. Out of the 17 entrants so far the only notable superstars have been Triple H, Rey Mysterio, Big Show, Kane, Chris Benoit and Bobby Lashley. Not even surprising returning legends its just been some mid carders who aren't too great and jobbers like Simon Dean. RVD now comes in at number 20, hopefully this is a sign of things starting to pick up. Matt Hardy is now being dry humped by Viscera in the middle of the ring and before I could even finish typing that sentence Viscera eliminates Matt Hardy. I just felt that was a notable highlight to add. Now that I've seen all the entrants I feel like I can now fully discuss the match since I already know the winner. Rey Mysterio wins if you don't know. The lack of star power in this match caused really legitimate possible winners to be a bit of a short list. It's very disappointing that it took the death of Eddie Guerrero for WWE to give Rey Mysterio a title run. A pretty forgetful title run but a title run nonetheless. The match wasn't really much to talk about until we hit the final five. I do wanna add that I appreciate that this match was also treated as a Raw vs. Smackdown event. I mean, it was everyone for themselves but on commentary they frequently added who in the match currently was on which brand, which makes sense because Raw and Smackdown are competing against each other and whenever theres a match where superstars from both brands are present, on commentary at least, it should be treated as a competition. Just something I wish WWE would do more of today, I hated when Raw was just one big "supershow" I prefer the brand split, but that's a different topic for a different time. Overall the match did feel like a bit of a chore to get through but in the grand scheme of things I did appreciate the story they told of Rey Mysterio overcoming all odds with the deck stacked against him to make good on his promise that he dedicated a victory to his best friend, Eddie Guerrero.

Edge (C) vs. John Cena

John Cena came to the ring in what Joey Styles called a "Spaceship Catwalk" and I cant really think of a better name for whatever this was so I'll just go with that. Cena isn't even the champion and he got a wrestlemania style special entrance and Edge didn't. It was such an odd touch, could've went without it but at least it looked cool I guess. Edge was such an absolute heat magnet, he knew what to do and what to say at all times to make the crowds boo him it was a bit of disappointment to see Edge drop the title in this match. I understand that in the long run Cena winning was probably the smarter move but if their plan all along was to send Cena to wrestlemania as champion I wish they didn't tease us with an Edge title run. I mean, in 2006 everytime Edge won the title, he beat Cena to get it and everytime he lost it, it was to Cena. Edge had a nice title run as world heavyweight champion on smackdown years later but in relation to this event, that smackdown title reign felt like it was an eternity away. If nothing else this WWE title run turned Edge from a midcarder to a main event talent and he was deserving of it. All in all, I just wish Edge had a more lengthy run with the title instead of losing it in a month after being the first superstar to cash in money in the bank.

Kurt Angle (C) vs. Mark Henry

Listen, I get it, Mark Henry is a cool guy, but he isn't really an amazing athlete. Maybe its just me but I've never been able to get behind anything Mark Henry has been apart of, besides the hall of pain storyline but doesn't have for another few years. I don't know the story going into this match or the full smackdown roster at the time but I just feel like this match shouldn't have main evented. After seeing that this was the match they picked to go on last I wish they would have just saved the royal rumble to be the main event, they would've sent the crowd home happy with Rey Mysterio winning. I know we got a surprise Undertaker return at the end and that made people excited but looking back, Undertaker vs. Mark Henry at wrestlemania wasn't really all that great. Kurt Angle is fantastic but he cant carry everyone to a good match. Angle retains but other than that there just isn't too much to say about this match, it was slow paced and just didn't pack any real punch for me.

I cant really make a pros and cons list for this event, nothing was overwhelming entertaining and nothing was offensively bad. It was just a pretty "meh" event. Rey Mysterio won the royal rumble and Kurt Angle did an interview that made me laugh a little bit before his match and those are the highlights for me. The real lowlights I guess would be just how underwhelming this event was and how bland everything felt. Say what you want, I love womans wrestling today but watching the story progress between Mickie James and Trish Stratus was mildly entertaining too. I'm really reaching here.

2/5

[thesportssoundoff]

Trying To Figure Out The ESPN+ Debut Card

Joey

October 22nd, 2018

The UFC's debut on Fox is pretty well documented; a rushed on paper, disastrous in reality debut that probably set them up for this long up and down rollercoaster with way more downs than ups in the grand scheme of things. They moved a big money title fight off of a PPV in ONE California market to go to ANOTHER California market. They rolled with one fight, putting Bendo vs Clay Guida (a #1 contender fight) on basically a remote internet stream with the likes of Cub Swanson and Joey Beltran. The reality is that everything that could've gone wrong ultimately did go wrong for the UFC and some would say they never recovered.

On the other hand, the UFC's debut on FS1 was a total success. Despite being down to its third (fourth maybe?) option for a main event, the UFC's debut on FS1 featured just the right amount of big names, just the right amount of marquee fights and JUST the right amount of high profile performances to be a success on all metrics. It was a gate hit, a big hit with the ratings and helped launch careers for dudes who are still major marquee attractions today like Conor McGregor. In many ways, it revived the career of Chael Sonnen as well after getting finished two fights in a row. It took everything the UFC did WRONG for it's Fox debut and corrected it and granted, it also had the benefit of nearly two years worth of tinkering.

The UFC's debut on ESPN+ will probably not fall on either of those tiers. This is not going to get, I figure, the big UFC on Fox treatment.  Similarly, it's probably not going to get the level of attention and care that the FS1 launch show got. Remember the UFC's not trying to establish a presence on a new network with a major event nor is it trying to launch a start up sports channel. In my estimation, the UFC and ESPN+ is a marriage of convenience on an platform that probably will greatly benefit from UFC content----but doesn't exactly need it. The UFC is giving ESPN's subscription service up to 30 shows a year which is absurd if you think about it. The UFC is going to give ESPN+ 30 nights of content and when you work out the math of how many weekends there are in a year crosschecked by how many shows the UFC is providing PLUS 12 PPVs? It sure feels like this is about quantity and not quality.

That in turn sets me up to the UFC's debut on FX. At the time, the long play was the UFC moving to FS1 when that was ready to go which is why the UFC agreed to basically give away shows on what was then Fuel. The short play was to just try and drown viewers at home with content on FX. Remember that for the time the UFC was on FX, there wasn't much in the way of consistent programming. There were test shows on different days/nights/hours to see what would stick and what wouldn't stick; shows on Wednesday, back to backs on Friday and Saturday and at least flirtations with events on Sunday. FX was the content home of the UFC but the quality was hit or miss, sometimes even feeling like that was the case by design. In fact let's just take a quick peek at the UFC's debut on FX from January 20th, 2012:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UFC_on_FX:_Guillard_vs._Miller

Of the main card, only ONE fighter remains in the UFC; Jim Miller.

Four of the eight main card fighters were coming off a win in the UFC previously; Josh Neer, Mike Easton, Christian Morecraft and Duane Ludwig with just TWO of those guys

The ONLY fighter to fight for a title off of that show; Khabib Nurmagomedov in his UFC debut

Of the prelim slate; only two of the losers wound up fighting in the UFC again (Pat Schilling and Kamal Shalarus)

Not an impressive showing from the UFC. The UFC's first foray onto Fight Pass is equally disappointing although to their credit, the reason that card even wound up on Fight Pass was that Fox didn't want it and they had trouble shopping it around to other avenues to hold the event. That plus the incoming WWE Network led to UFC Fight Pass and a show that's...well:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UFC_Fight_Night:_Saffiedine_vs._Lim

It's not AS bad I suppose. Kyung Ho Kang, Max Holloway, Hyun Gyu Lim, Mairbek Taisumov and ever Strasser Kichi all had good runs. Even Macho Bang gave us the first ever acknowledged fixed fight in the past like 5-10 years!

The whole point of this insane history lesson is to try and pinpoint what the UFC's first card on ESPN+ will look like. We  have a brief glimpse into what it might look like for ESPN; PVZ vs Rachael Ostovich is officially a go go, rumors of Wonderboy vs Lawler continue to float around and Romero vs Costa is apparently in the works for the same event. With four fights scheduled for the main card, everything else after that is pretty much just eye wash. We can tell they're going to go all out and with rumors of TJ vs Cejudo happening in January at whatever PPV that might be plus Colby vs Woodley, we can kind of see what their PPV outlook might be as well. With shows in Brazil and Korea planned for February, it sure seems like the UFC has some international draws they're going to be using elsewhere right?

Given I'm the mock guy here, I figure I'd mock up what I would do if I was planning my first ESPN+ card! We have no date and no locale but that's not gonna stop me! One thing of note before we lead into this deal is that the head of the UFC's international stuff whose name absolutely escapes me said recently that ESPN+ cards will still have main card and prelim slates because they air internationally. If you've ever watched a Fight Pass card you know that the international set up for those best resembles what you'd get from old school UFC events (4 fight main card with an endless assortment of prelims).  

Ready when y'all are:

Main Event Middleweight Darren Till vs Anderson Silva

The immediate thought process is "I imagine the UFC promised ESPN+ a title fight of some kind!" but I'd imagine the title fights that fit the bill off the jump are booked up. We've got Cejudo vs Dillashaw in 2019, Rose is expected to be out a bit longer into 2019, Colby vs Woodley is going on PPV and so what remains is a quick turnaround at 125 lbs or an interim 185 lb title fight. Probably not happening either way. We KNOW Anderson Silva is coming back in January since he confirmed it recently. The UFC clearly has no problem rolling Anderson out onto Fight Pass since they twice were set to do so; once vs Bisping (which we got) and once vs Kelvin Gastelum (which got nixed). ESPN+ is bigger than Fight Pass by any conceivable metric imaginable so we're not out of the realm of possibility to think that he could fight on ESPN+. With Till likely back sooner than later and Anderson Silva confirming his own return date, why not? The general argument would be that nobody in the US knows who Till is and I get that but Anderson is still pretty popular no matter what metric you use (he was probably the rare "co-main that outdraws the main" when he helped Holly and GDR do 200K buys in Jan of last year) so why not? Darren Till is coming off his highest profile fight yet (in a loss but still) and if he's serious about 185 lbs then there's no more high profile fight than he vs Anderson Silva. It's a good way to get him back on the horse in a big way while giving ESPN+ a big high profile main event.

Co-Main Event Featherweight Cub Swanson vs Jeremy Stephens

Riding a three fight losing streak, I think we're officially into the "Now Cub Swanson gets really good again" territory. Similarly Jeremy Stephens saw all of his momentum come to a screeching halt vs Jose Aldo in a genuinely fun first round battle that saw both dudes get rocked.  Two top 10 FWs on the wrong side of 30 and coming off a loss? Sounds like a totally fair match up to me. This IS a rematch from 2014 when Swanson seemed to be crawling ever so closely to title shot contention and Stephens was coming off wins over Darren Elkins and Rony Jason. Both fighters might not have improved much since then but we at least can assume Swanson has declined JUST enough to put this fight into a more reasonable territory for both guys. Winner stays relevant and loser has to make the choice between sticking around and switching weight classes I guess.

Strawweight Mackenzie Dern vs JJ Aldrich

I'm still of the belief that there is an audience for Mackenzie Dern out there. It IS very concering that Mackenzie Dern went to the UFC Performance Institute in July or so to get cleared to resume her career at 115 lbs----and still hasn't emerged in any capacity yet. Dern is who she is; a natural athlete and tremendous fighter instinctually who has zero commitment to MMA. That doesn't matter since coasting as an elite athlete is what makes MMA what it is. JJ Aldrich is on a three fight winning streak, trains with Rose Namajunas and is one of those tough gritty grinder-y types who Dern should be able to run through if she cares.

Lightweight Jim Miller vs Nik Lentz

I'm not 100% sold that Miller's last performance is a sign that he's "back" or whatever the case may be. I like Jim Miller though and coming off a win, he's got relevance in this division again. The man with arguably the toughest resume in LW history vs Nik Lentz coming off a devastating destructive KO of Gray Maynard feels like a fun enough fight, especially considering both guys are coming off finishes. This is the sort of fight you go "That hasn't happened yet?" and then scratch your head.

Prelims

Lightweight Charles Oliveira vs David Teymur

If it's true that the UFC had the choice of an unbooked David Teymur vs bringing in a guy off a card and they chose the latter (James Vick) to face Justin Gaethje then I'm beginning to wonder if they're a touch confused as to what they have with Teymur. He came in hot as a tremendous kickbocking talent knocking dudes out but has slowed into a more methodical consistent paint by the numbers striker who utilizes fantastic footwork and range. That gets you wins (and Teymur has been fantastic vs guys like Drakkar Klose and Nik Lentz) but it can also cost you momentum in a 155 lb scene where finishes make you sparkle. Oliveira vs Teymur feels like a fun little striker vs grappler match up and both guys are on hot streaks. I would view this as similar to a mid card FS1 fight on a PPV card which makes it a perfectly fine "prelim headliner" (for international fans) for this card.

Welterweight Diego Sanchez vs Peter Sobotta

I'll take "Fights that probably should've happened in like 2011" for 500. Peter Sobotta's UFC second UFC run is the world's biggest most absurd smoke and mirrors run in history. The only win who remains in the UFC is Ben Saunders although who knows how much longer Killa B will be actively competing for. The losses were borderline non-competitive blowouts vs Kyle Noke and Leon Edwards where Sobotta was stopped pretty much at the horn. Sanchez just won so he's going to continue fighting so you might as well use him I guess. Feel like this is a SAFE fight for both dudes.

Heavyweight Stefan Struve vs Junior Albini

With the UFC apparently heading overseas in February, this fight might be better off elsewhere (Europe? Brazil?) but with Albini and Struve on losing skids and neither one looking too hot on the process, this feels like the perfect little "Okay so who wants to actually fight more?" type deal. Struve vs Arlovski would make sense to if you want to keep putting poor Andrei through such abuse.

Featherweight Gabriel Benitez vs Rick Glenn

The man known as "Moggly" has probably been, at least for my money, the most surprising talent out of TUF LAM Season 1.  The somewhat raw Benitez has faced the likes of Enrique Barzola, Andre Fili, Jason Knight and capable vets like Sam Sicilia and Clay Collard while somehow bringing back a winning record in the process. The logjam at 145 lbs suggests there's really no rush in ascending him but Benitez vs Rick Glenn sounds like a fair enough fight for both guys. Glenn is coming off a "win" vs Dennis Bermudez and is at the very least a capable competent mid tier featherweight who can outmuscle and outheart dudes. It's a pretty fair fight for Benitez all things considered.

Lightweight Desmond Green vs Clay Guida

Poor Des Green. Maybe this was always destined to be his lot in life/the UFC but thus far he's the guy they task with giving tough fights to tough guys overseas who wind up missing weight on him. Coming off a game effort vs an overweight Mairbek Taisumov, Green deserves an easy touch. The problem is there really isn't a such thing as one unless yer dusting off the remains of some old fogey and I'm not about to do that to anybody. Instead give me Green vs Clay Guida who is still pretty damn solid despite coming off a loss to Charles Oliveira in a fight he just blindly rushed into a guillotine for.

Women's Strawweight Livia Souza vs Angela Hill

Y'all cool with running this one back? The first fight was pretty good and I think Hill has officially solidified herself as a good strawweight who has some room to grow but is probably always going to linger in the lower half of the top 10/15. Souza is coming off a dominant easy win over Alex Chambers where she wasn't tested much/at all. This feels like a fair enough fight for both ladies and I'd imagine anybody who saw the first one won't get hurt with seeing a rematch.

Women's Bantamweight Lucie Pudilova vs Gina Mazany

It feels like the UFC has about 12 women's bantamweights on their roster tops. Mazany and Pudilova are both coming off losses (of different quality of course), tend to stay active and the winner will find a spot.

[ethan1220world-blog]

Audience Studies (3P18) Blog Post #1 - Ethan Limsana

During the introduction of our text, we learn many different ways to describe the concept of an audience and how a particular audience has and can function over time. A critical piece in learning about where we are now, is to examine how they began and evolved overtime based on popularity of politics and social needs. In order to relate to these teachings, I will apply them to my modern life with a form of entertainment that I access daily in many different ways and social settings depending on context: music. Whether it be walking through the supermarket with a pair of headphones on, or at a live concert surrounded by crowds of rowdy young adults, music demonstrates a multitude of ways an audience can be affected. I listen to music daily on my phone with the goal of finding melodies that are addicting, and artists that write lyrics that heighten my emotions either by making me feel excited when I’m energized, or depressed when I’m sad. Once I’ve found the right song, I can listen to it many times before I get bored, and look at other works the author has to offer through streaming platforms like Spotify and YouTube to choose what else I do and don’t like. This work that I’m doing to curate my music tastes are demonstrating an information based audience by simply listening to the artist and what they have to say about a given topic. It also demonstrates a meaning based view because by choosing I like and don’t like, the artist will see those tracks and adapt future works based on the reviews. Although, these messages would be much different face-to-face by exact knowledge given to one another, I am a part of the mass audience and communicate through my views, likes, and shares. This is my role in obtaining music for low cost, often free, for the large profit organizations that provide me music. Like any other job, I perform these roles when I am the audience member, and when I stop listening, I am no longer an audience member. Although I enjoy listening to 1980s music, my music taste has changed due to shifts in society and me as a demographic. As streaming services kept offering me to listen to rap music for being a young adult male, I eventually tried it, giving into Drake, Young Thug, Tupac, and more. Here, my shift in music taste was a result of the audience-as-outcome model because the media altered my taste. As mentioned before, I filter into the grand scheme of advertising and ratings as an individual on my phone, without a public space to listen or review the music, where most others are listening too. Since this experience is primarily alone, and I have no connection with other listeners, I am part of the audience-as-mass model. Not to say I have no power in this situation, I demonstrate audience-as-agent too by telling social media, and the entertainment providers what I think and ultimately making the final decisions of my interests on my own; in this case I happened to not enjoy older rap music, but enjoy modern rap music because it heightened my excitement. I chose to keep what I enjoyed because it fits me and my lifestyle, as an act of my free will. 

A small percentage of the time I spend with music is live because it costs more money, often requires travel, and isn’t nice for time management, but it's the most engaging and memorable musical experiences I’ve ever had because of the nature of crowds. As a practice dating back to ancient Greek and Roman audiences, concerts are the same in essence; hundreds or thousands of people leave their homes to gather in one specific location to listen to a select few. Here, it is entirely dependent on the people on stage to determine the energy of the crowd. At rap concerts, loud music is played, and messages of substance abuse, and violence are in the lyrics. The crowd responds to this content by showing up to the concert dressed in fashionable clothes, drinking, getting high, and most of all, being rowdy by pushing, shoving, crying, and sometimes even fighting. As feared by the end of the 19th century, live concerts often display the potentially destructive qualities of crowds. As an individual listening to music alone, the reality is relatively unchanged from regular society, but when a crowd gets together, it is a temporary change in that particular society as a collective because individual actions have less consequences associated with them and immediate emotions can freely be demonstrated by all. The positives of the crowd are also unchanged; they create a physical setting for me to go, and create a memorable experience for me to worship someone who was already in power, to reinstate my value in enjoying their music, and keep them in power. 

This power opens up new opportunities for record labels and artists to scheme new ways to alter our decision making process to make choices that continue their revenue flow and keep them in power for as long as possible. For example, Drake and his label OVO, use advertising and multimedia to keep us thinking about his music and persona even when we’re not listening. The money made from live events and music sales, goes into buying and selling merchandise, buying restaurants, maintaining an entertaining Instagram page, and utilizing television and film for documentary and selling the idea of his rich lifestyle. Although it is our own agency and free will to choose what we enjoy, these power moves are made to trigger appeal and to trick us into a cycle of worship.

It is the complete truth that modern rap music is a gold mine for those in power: it is repetitive, subject matter is relatively the same throughout different artists, and it is insanely popular among young viewers who make up most of the internet’s usage in North America. It can be tough for myself to take a moment to realize all that I see online is not real, but I’m one of millions, with many that don’t have the education to consider that. The effects perspective is a lens I can use to think about how I am affected by these powers in media that influence me now, and over time. In order to be informed, and understand why I’ll be advertised certain types of content in the future, is to study why my demographic reacts so positively to rap music. 

As part of mass society, I and others are listening to this music alone, with little to no exposure of the themes suggested aside from movies and tv shows. Mixed with being a young adult, male and naive, this ignorance to the rapper lifestyle is exactly what advertisers capitalize on to gain and keep my attention. We live in a progressive time where racial equality, specifically black, is at the forefront of all media concerns and therefore, our concerns. The issue is that I have no first hand idea what is different in their culture as opposed to mine. There are few popular media that demonstrates African American’s as regular people who do regular daily things; instead the popular discourse uses selective exposure to say they grew up on the street and have become rich and surpassed whites. When music videos and lyrics suggest their lifestyles include endless amounts of money, having sex with multiple women, and killing people they don’t like, there’s actually very little I can actually do to disprove that even though its highly unlikely. Early concerns with mass persuasion worry that even though I have the critical ability to deem what is true and what isn’t, my brain wants to imagine something before it experiences it. I’m only shown stereotypes, so that's all I have the capacity to imagine for the time being. The artists acts as a barrier between me and their affairs; they only let me imagine how rich their lifestyle is for their specific interest of me believing that listening to what they have to say will elevate my life in some way, or keep me racially diverse. 

I keep listening to these fake notions of black culture because, well, it's addicting for me. The Payne studies showed some important facts: intense violence and action scenes were more memorable for boys, the more exposure of similar themes created pronounced beliefs within children, and the interest in sexual themes became more engaging in children as they grew older. The themes I’m exposed to represent delinquencies that parents and teachers have taught me to stay away from, so they are exciting for me to see and fantasize about. It is an over-saturated market also, so I have more pronounced internal feelings about the content. Also, it is at a point in my life that I am more gullible to what is shown to me online. If these reasons weren’t enough to argue why I don’t stop listening, the presence of opinion leaders and emotional contagion make it increasingly difficult to leave the genre. Opinion leaders rise within my friend group, and reviewers I find online. Being so close to Toronto, most of my friends fall into the same demographic trap and see Toronto rappers as something to take pride in and constantly keep up with celebrities’ internal drama. Online reviewers, although they have more credibility, often promote the popular opinion in order to keep fans happy, sharing, and make their program more popular, and they might even be incentivised by outside sources to create and artificial opinion. Seemingly everywhere wants me to keep listening to this music, and when it consistently keeps my friends and I in an energized mood through emotional contagion, it at least feels like it's doing more good than bad in the moment.

As an audience member, mass media has treated me like an object whose attention can be persuaded, changed, and sold, but it's too early for me to see long term detrimental effects. I spend about 6-8 hours looking at screens everyday with heights of around 12-14 hours. Some of this is because of work, but more than half is for consuming entertainment and social media. It often gives me a fictionalized perspective of different topics which is why I’ve worked hard in the last two years to improve my lifestyle and create more unique experiences. Most of this leisure time is worse spent than when the media originally pulled me into addiction at the beginning of high-school. I was recommended to watch things I’ve already seen, or are so similar, it offers no unique ideas, so constantly being offered what I already like has put me in a rut. Also, I am weary of gaining emotions because of my viewing habits. Since most of my interests in entertainment are associated with delinquent themes, I recognize that when I’m out, I am not outgoing with strangers because I don’t trust them. Commonly in mob related movies, they give the feeling that you can’t trust anyone, and those feelings lie somewhere within me.

Public opinion is the most powerful information a company use to always have the upper-hand over the consumer when it comes to buying and selling. The information can be private or public depending on if it is beneficial to the company. It can be used to gain honest opinions about what the population thinks about a product, or a survey can be made specifically to trick the public into conforming to a certain ideal by use of question-wording-effects. The information can be used to alienate consumers into bandwagoning onto a perceived public opinion. The potential to mix and match these uses seems like a modern day superpower to me. To examine the ways public opinion is measured and used by large corporations for profit, I’ll relate to myself working in sales at Best Buy and Virgin Mobile to compare and contrast by looking at what I do to earn an individuals’ opinion on a much smaller scale. 

When working with a customer, I want to ensure my commission is made whether or not it is in the buyers’ best interests when they walk in. First, I want to find out why they’re in the store. I ask about what issues they have with a current device, and move further to find out important things about their lifestyle: if they have kids, are they in school, where they live, and what hobbies they have. At this stage, I am giving my customer a person-to-person interview where I establish rapport, and my most advantageous position as a salesperson to both learn about the client, and earn a degree of trust so I can be given true answers to my questions. Here, I avoid leading questions because the answers wouldn’t accurately depict the information I want to offer a product that is relevant. The tactics of my survey change depending on what part of the sale we’re at for my benefit. Once we find the right phone for the user, we talk about the price which is where response effects are wildly useful. If the first thing I say is the actual price per month, the customer would be unsatisfied with the number and feel entitled to bargain, or wait for another sale, or go to a different company entirely. Instead, I show the original price for the phone, and their mobile plan separately which is always high, then show them what I can save them by signing up with a new contract; the response is almost always positive. This is because the original price has nothing to contrast except for some kind of number they’ve had before, or seen in a flyer which isn’t obtainable for me. In the second example, I’ve given a realistic, yet unfavourable example for them to contrast instead to get rid of any pre-existing notions of price. Once the customer has decided to buy the service or product, they will be less likely to buy anything else because they either don’t have enough money, or are weary of me taking advantage of them. When defenses are high, question-wording-effects can be used to make the customer think they want more. The last thing I have to sell is extra insurance for your phone, which everyone is accustomed to say no to because of negative connotations of other insurances like car, or life. Once they tell me they don’t want insurance, I proceed with the process and move on to the next topic, but realistically, I’m using this time to include specific words and body language to make them feel unsafe about their new product. I will begin using words in our conversation that have to do with the length of their contract, the price of the phone, specific words like fragile, stuck, lost, regret. My body language also changes to be more loose and clumsy, and often I place my drink uncomfortably close to the new device. When I ask again later in the process, the customer feels they have made the decision for themselves, drop their defense and buy. 

Sometimes, other means of gathering opinion are beneficial as well. Although a personal interview offers me the most advantages, a telephone interview is a cheaper and time efficient way of gathering information. There is a possibility I could employ the same tactics into this interview, but that poses a couple problems. I cannot establish rapport as well, so if I ask too many personal questions, the customer will feel uncomfortable and hang up. I generally need to avoid leading questions, and keep the call strictly about the sale. This is a good way to earn information to use in the future, not the present. I can filter their answers to find out what may be a successful offer for the future. For use of large companies, this type of information could be used to find out where and when to sell things, but not as precise to find out what type of product to make. The final type of survey I look for is an email survey. These help me to gain a higher personal rating to gain recognition within my company, but as the text suggests, these are borderline useless way of gathering and asking for information. Just about all ways of surveying have some kind of flaw which skews the data gathered with varied impact, but email has to be the most negative impact. It requires the customer to actively do it during their leisure time, and it holds no benefit to themselves. Out of every ten customers I offer the online survey to, one may actually do it. This means they would have an outstanding reason to do it; either they really liked, or really hated the service. The numbers of completions are low, and the sources are not credible.

After information is acquired, the Government and large corporations use qualitative and quantitative data to use audiences in ways that far exceed the possibilities of an individual. They use this information to operationalize their audience; keep their viewing habits the same, and constantly sell their time to advertisers without suspicion. In order to find examples of political economy today, I will examine myself as an audience member of advertisements specifically through my phone on social media platforms and entertainment streaming services. Now that I can identify how advertisers obtain my personal habits and information, I can assume who is buying it based on what advertisements, or entertainment I’m offered. 

As a consumer, I actually pay for many of the streaming services I use which I know isn’t the norm for post-millenials. I pay monthly to access Netflix, Spotify, and YouTube, which means I don’t receive advertisements through these entertainment services, which is great for some of my leisure time, but I do not escape advertisements altogether. In fact, each of these streaming services, including the phone I bought, have a mandatory a lengthy multi-page terms of service agreement which states that they are services which I use while I pay for them, and during this time, they can gather as much information about my viewing habits as they want to improve their services. In exchange for signing this contract, I am given thousands of choices of the most popular movies, TV shows, and music of today with a service that knows what I want to watch even before I know what its about. In the meantime, however, all information of my demographic including how much I am paying for streaming is being sold to google, to then sell to advertisers in similar markets. I’m still not rid of the blindspot that advertisers use to steal my leisure time. Often while watching a show, I browse on my phone, and during that time I get ads for tv shows and movies on subscription services I have yet to pay for. The luxury of using Netflix services is paid for by me enduring ads for other similar subscription-based websites, which I am then working for free to review by looking at them and seeing whether or not they are worthwhile, just for it to be advertised again when there's a new incentive for me to consider again. This same operation happens to everyone who uses streaming services, as the audience is a commodity to be bought and sold by advertisers. 

I’m treated very well as a subscriber of these services; the servers send the program are reliable with few buffers, the websites don’t have malware or bugs that slow down the speed of my computer, and I even get special features such as the option for subtitles on any show, and even an automatic option to skip opening credits. The same can’t be said for those who can’t afford to pay monthly, or who are using ad blockers. For example, my girlfriend is the daughter of Asain immigrants and she watches Korean TV, but she doesn’t pay for streaming services, and there are no channels for her to watch them for free. She streams these shows from free servers she finds online. These are often filled with malware, regular ads, and pop-up ads that ruin the viewing experience as well as poor servers from outside of the country which buffer and crash often. I am labelled as a priority customer because my viewing consists of popular American TV and I pay for the service, meaning I will most likely respond well to the advertisements that are sent to me and have a higher chance of purchasing, so my leisure time is improved to keep me as a customer. My girlfriend is exactly what advertisers will ignore, she enjoys foreign shows and doesn’t pay for her streaming service, so her leisure time is not cared for or valued, so is less important. This is a slightly different take on what the text has to explains, but it is a similar issue. Racial formation is causing someone close to me to not enjoy their leisure time as much as me because of their background and taste. 

Adding market value to certain demographics does show signs of massive potential in new technologies though. Our viewership is measured on any platform we visit through server logs, and cookies. Even now with Google assistant and Google Home and smart home devices and surveillance systems, our voices are being monitored too. I had a conversation with my mother about what Halloween costume I am going to wear this year, and Google offered me advertisements for Halloween costumes the next day. This is the evolution of peoplemeters that tracked TV viewing habits, but on a much smarter and efficient scale that people meters couldn't achieve. Because of psychographics, we are not purely treated as a mass audience in this situation. I am not being offered to listen to Drake because Drake is popular with men my age, I am being offered curated advertisements that are relevant to me based on my demographics, psychology, and my actual web searches and needs described through conversation. This conclusion is very controversial because devices that listen to your voice at all times is creepy, but it is the peak of what target marketing strives to be in its most efficient form. When this form of information gathering and target marketing is perfected, it is hard to say whether our thoughts are truly our own because of the power of suggestion.

[xtralargealison]

(Content warnings: suicide, depression, self-harm, eating disorders, addictions, self-torture, cursing) 

Prose.

Why does everyone I come across automatically assume that I have a will to live? 

I don't, not even in the slightest, but I also have a very weird relationship with death. I'm not explicitly suicidal, at least not anymore, but at the same time, if I were diagnosed with an incurable disease tomorrow, I wouldn't really care that much. I suppose exhausted of life might be the best way to describe it, or maybe passively suicidal? It's this weird niche side of depression that not many people seem to be talking about. And I know that I do have stuff to live for. I know that the people I care about wouldn't have me in their lives, which honestly would probably bother them for a small fraction of time at most (most of the people I care about don't speak to me anymore, and those that do, do so with a very obvious reluctance) and then they would just go back to living their lives like before. I know that the girl who is essentially the only reason for any and all happiness I have experienced in the last 4 years would be distraught for a while, but then like most others would probably move on too. Ironically, my death would probably be the hardest on my mother. Realistically it would kill her, and not necessarily because of love (I've been painfully made aware of and accepted the fact that she really doesn't love me for a while now) but more likely because that would finally prove that she failed as a mother and as a support system, and as someone who I know struggles with some intense undiagnosed mental health issues, she just wouldn't be able to take it. The only wish I would have in that scenario is that I would still be around for long enough to show her all the shit she didn't know about me, and the other side of my life she has no idea exists. Otherwise, I haven't put much of value out into this world, and there isn't much of value I see myself creating in the future, so what's the point? This weird limbo-like attitude towards life and death is something I've been experiencing for most of my life now (with the obvious exception of when I fell headfirst into the depths of some serious suicidal shit) at varying levels and I think honestly it can account for a good chunk of my addictions and behaviour in my adult life. Why try and preserve yourself when it wouldn't really matter either way in the grand scheme of things? I'm not naive. I know that a lot of this complaining is very self-serving and to a lot of people it's a way to draw attention to themselves and get that validation that they've been craving, but to me it's not really that. I hate attention, at least focused attention, but at the same time, I have a weird need for validation that I think stems from some intense mommy-issues and lack of parental validation. To me, writing is very much a cathartic release of information and emotion that otherwise would continue to corrode my brain and eventually drive me completely insane. A lot of the stuff I write about is stuff that I've been obsessing over or holding in my mind for a very long time, and so a lot of it has already corroded its way through my brain. I post what I do because I simultaneously need to get rid of these thoughts and feelings however I can, and at the same time I crave the validation of someone, anyone, relating to what I write so that I know that at least one other person out there in the universe understands what I'm saying. Plus, posting what I do in a public space is almost like my way of tempting fate, seeing how open I can be and how honest while simultaneously sliding under the radar of the people in my life who would react negatively. I know that a lot of people create to get attention, and I think I do as well to a certain point, but while most people want that high follower count and fame and everything, I really couldn't give two shits if anyone ever reads anything I write, I just need to get it out there to prevent it from taking over my brain. Even this piece of whatever, my stream of consciousness rant about life and death with no real point or conclusion, I guarantee will be read by two people. I know these two people, and they tend to read everything I write (more so from an obligation to me and less out of a place of curiosity or enjoyment) and if they are the only two who end up reading this, or even if they decide not to for once, that is okay because this information is out in the world, in text form instead of burning another hole through my brain. I don't drink anymore because my girl doesn't like it when I drink too much. I don't smoke because I never started and I don't want to make more trouble for myself with my family than I have to. I don't do drugs because I don't have the money for it. What I do though is create useless art. I write shit that no one will ever read, I paint things that no one will ever care to see. I dye my hair and gain weight and wear shitty clothing and pierce holes in my skin. I don't indulge in the pleasure of causing myself physical pain anymore, but I instead choose to torture my mind with the useless art and failed forms of self-expression. I fuck up my image and reputation because I'm no longer allowed to fuck up my body and although it gives me nowhere near the same amount of pleasure, for now, it'll have to do. So, I ask again:

Why does everyone I come across automatically assume that I have a will to live?

-I torture my mind in place of my body and revel in the results.

[g5b3ysjw-blog]

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[gyrlversion]

We Tried The Celebrity Spin Class That Americans Are Obsessed With

Hey, I’m Josie and I love spinning. I go twice a week most weeks. I love it so much that when I heard that SoulCycle, the cult American spin studio, was coming to the UK, I dragged my colleagues along for the ride. Literally.

From a spin snob, to a complete gym newbie, these are our thoughts…

Ben:

Spin classes completed: 0.

As someone who has never been to a gym class in their life, I was a little nervous and a bit skeptical about trying a spin class.

Sam:

Spin classes completed: 1 or 2.

I’ve done spinning a couple of times, and while it’s tiring it doesn’t kill you afterwards, which is ideal.

Hanifah:

Spin classes completed: 10+

I used to regularly attend the gym and spin classes, but I’ve recently taken a bit of a break.

Remee:

Spin classes completed: 30+

I’ve been to a fair amount of spin classes, so I know the general deal (still can’t get on the bloody bike though).

Josie:

Spin classes completed: 70+

I’m a spin snob — I know what I like when it comes to a spin class.

Hanifah: I’ve heard soooo much about SoulCycle. I’d heard that Beyoncé apparently goes, so it’s obviously supreme. I was really really excited to go and do a workout fit for Queen B! I didn’t expect it to be anything like the other spin classes I’ve been to before.

Sam: I try to attend the gym at least three times a week, but I don’t often do classes as I fear human contact and like to keep my head down when exercising. I think I’ve heard of SoulCycle being mentioned before, but before going I didn’t have any opinion on it. I’d heard it was boujie, but I was still going to show up to class in my holey trainers.

Remee: I know SoulCycle is the OG spin class, and although I’ve been to some spin classes in New York, I’d never gone to SC. I know it’s a big hit among celebrities, so I was intrigued to see if it was any more special that the others I’d been to.

Josie: I feel like anyone who has gone spinning before has heard of SoulCycle. I’d heard people utter its name as if it was the holy grail of static bicycle riding. So when I heard a studio was opening in the UK, I knew I had to try it out. I usually go to a Psycle studio as I handily have one down the road from my house and I’d heard they were basically the same thing, so I didn’t feel nervous, more intrigued about where I would see the differences and whether my loyalty to Psycle would be shaken…

Ben: Like I said, I was a bit nervous and skeptical at first, but after a few minutes I was really into it. The music got me pumped and the low-lit room really added to the atmosphere as well as not making me feel self conscious. But I’m not going to lie, the inspirational quotes and mindfulness just aren’t really my thing. If you’re into that stuff it’s cool but it’s just not for me. The playlist was great — our instructor, Josh, had a good mix of bangers and high tempo songs in there which really got me into the mood.

Hanifah: The class was great, but if I’m honest, there wasn’t too much that was uniquely SoulCycle. That doesn’t mean I didn’t love it though – I was a big fan of the candle shrine – it gave it a calming vibe. I really liked the instructor, he was motivational without being obnoxious. I appreciated the fact that he encouraged everyone to go at their own pace, because I know that these classes can get competitive at times. I loved his music – he started off with Beyoncé’s “Countdown,” and when that began I knew I’d gone to the right class.

Sam: I thought Josh was good at reminding us we didn’t need to keep up, which I needed to hear as I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to (which tbf was partly true). The room was insanely warm, and I’m NGL, it would have more pleasant in a cooler environment. I could do without all the motivational speeches, but I liked the fake candles. Music was great – a real mix of pop and indie remixes. I didn’t see any real difference between SC or doing a cycle sesh at my gym though.

Remee: The class was really good! High energy, and the instructor was super friendly and motivating. I liked the candles too, I usually go to Psycle, and they could do with some candlelight! Music was a great mix, he definitely had something for everyone. I would say though, if you’ve never done spin before, it might be a bit hard to follow and there wasn’t any effort put in to get people on the right leg and on the right beat like spin classes normally do. Maybe this is because SoulCycle’s whole mantra is a “do it at your own pace” kind of thing, but come on, for 24 quid per class, you want to know you’re doing the workout right, right??

BuzzFeed

I whip my hair back and forth.

Josie: I love Psycle because I always come out feeling really positive and on a bit of a natural high. I’ve managed to narrow down the list of instructors to the ones that I like and I’ll always try to book classes with. I know that they will play the music I want and that I’ll come out feeling on top of the freaking world. SoulCycle gave me the same good vibes. The music was great with the soundtrack flitting between Ariana Grande, Beyoncé and Temper Trap, and the crowd was clearly feeling it. Josh was the right side of motivational without being overly cheesy. The seats of the bikes were also the comfiest spinning seats that I’ve sat on too which was a huge bonus. I did kind of miss the disco lights of Psycle, and while my colleagues all loved the candles schtick, I only found out after the class that they weren’t real flames so spent most of it imagining us all dying in a spin-related inferno which put a bit of a dampener on my mood.

Remee: This is probably the boujiest boutique gym I’ve ever been to. The space is pretty bright and clean and it definitely looks fancy. There was even facial oil on offer in the ladies changing rooms! And I never ever thought I could be impressed by a water machine, but oh my god, it was seven times filtered and it was DELICIOUS! WATER WAS DELICIOUS! The changing rooms however, were far too small. As someone who has been to spin before, I wasn’t nervous, but when loads of people started showing up the changing rooms got really hectic and started making me a bit anxious. Also, what’s the point of having three types of moisturiser if you can’t even get to it because there are 14 bare bums in the way? It was legitimately stressful being in there.

Ben: I really enjoyed the changing rooms, (I feel like the male ones must have been less busy). I literally used every product in there and they all smelt amazing. I left feeling refreshed and smelling great, which was a real feat considering how much I had been sweating during the class.

Hanifah: Going into the changing room, I noticed that it was very luxurious, but I didn’t really feel comfortable because it was so so packed! After the class I used all the products in the shower, and I felt the opulence. I would’ve loved to spend more time in there but I couldn’t get a seat, so I really just wanted to get out of there.

Sam: I was excited about all the stuff that you get given as part of signing up – towels, shoes, water. What can I say? I’m easy to please.

Josie: SoulCycle is premium. The white and yellow colour scheme feels super LA and sets you up for feeling like this is going to be a really positive experience. One negative about the whole thing was definitely the changing room situation. They were too small for the amount of people that were constantly milling in and out so while there are great facilities, you can barely reach any of them and feel like you’re taking up too much space most of the time. I would definitely recommend turning up in your gear so you don’t have to battle people before and after your class. Other than that the whole place is pretty swish. I mean, Le Labo shower gel?! Drunk Elephant moisturiser?! Dyson hairdryers?! How much money did they spend on this!

Ben: I’ve never sweated so much in my life but I feel strong AF! SoulCycle may have just converted me to spinning.

Sam: It was cute for a taste, but not for a swallow.

Remee: The class was energetic and fun, but the space is just far too small and crowded to enjoy the full experience. If it were bigger it would be great for a workout when you feel like you want to pamper yourself a bit too. You’re paying a premium to have a great workout BUT to have the best facilities, so if you don’t get to use them, it doesn’t feel worth the money.

Josie: I enjoyed the experience but I’m Psycle loyal for now.

Hanifah: Overall, I really liked it – I felt like I got a great workout and a mindful experience all rolled into one. I’d say it does live up to the hype – it’s pretty glam, I just wish it wasn’t so packed.

Services were provided by SoulCycle London to BuzzFeed free of charge, but we were under no obligation to be positive in our coverage. You can book a class at SoulCycle or find out more, here.

The post We Tried The Celebrity Spin Class That Americans Are Obsessed With appeared first on Gyrlversion.

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[schirdotblog]

The best games I played in 2018

That's what these lists really are, right? Just a list of the best things you played in a year.

I've been keeping track of what I've been playing, and it looks like I played somewhere in the vicinity of 215 games in 2018. I didn't finish most of the games I played, for obvious reasons, but I want to go over some of the better ones I played last year.

I think crowning any one game as being the best of the year is kind of dumb, and limiting it to just 10 means ignoring a lot of stuff that was equally good. I’m just going to talk about a bunch of games I liked in no particular order, and I hope that’s alright.

WHOLEHEARTED RECOMMENDATIONS

WEST OF LOATHING

Two years running now, West of Loathing remains one of the best games out there. It's the king of comedy in games. The jokes are masterfully crafted and there's more options to approach situations than just about anything else on the market that's even slightly worth checking out. I mean, they're so committed to the jokes that they're selling the game for $11.00 instead of $10.99 just because of a running gag (11 dollars? That's absurd. It's not even funny!).

I wish I had more to say about West of Loathing since it's the game I spent the second-most time on in 2018, but it's the sort of comedy where the jokes rely on the particulars of the phrasing and it sounds lame if you describe the jokes in any way other than the way they're told in the game. It's very experiential.

I'm looking forward to the West of Loathing DLC that should be coming out relatively soon. I think that Jick said that that's mostly finished on the most recent Podcast of Loathing.

Go play West of Loathing if you haven't already. It's quite possibly my favorite game of 2017 and 2018.

EVERBLUE 2

I really wish Everblue would get a remaster or a rerelease. It's so good. I mean, it's rough around the edges, but it's a really solid 'chill out and explore' sort of game. I think that the games press of today is a bit less stupid than the games press of 2002, and gamers today would have an easier time understanding what Everblue's trying to do.

Everblue 2 is a diving game where you hunt ruins for treasure, take pictures of fish, and help out villagers in a small town while competing against a big diving organization. If the game were made today by different people, there'd probably be a lot more cinematography and/or visual novel-esque cutaways. There's not, and a bit more art and making the characters bigger on screen probably would've helped sell the story bits and gotten people to feel more emotional than the relatively small characters and understated text boxes.

But, as it is, I think that lack of cinematography and overdramatization helps to give the game a really understated aesthetic. It's like the game's saying "look, just go diving and appreciate the ocean. Human drama's relatively small in the grand scheme of things, and what really matters is finding something you love and pursuing it aggressively." I mean, it feels a little bit off to navigate through the town. The town's done in a relatively static point-and-click sort of style. Moving a cursor around with an analogue stick feels a little bit off and makes me wish I was back in the diving section. And that's the point. The ocean is vast and huge and wonderful, in the game's eyes, and if you're playing as a diver then you'd want to just get back in the ocean ASAP. All the characters are small on the screen to help communicate how small and less-than-relevant all the drama is to the main character. Everyone else in the scene is going off about how "oh no, the evil corporation bribed one of the Amigos to get ahead of you in finding the treasure" but there's no cinematography to any of it so the feeling you get is just like "Yeah, but they suck at diving and I'm obviously going to get there before they do." You'll feel that way because it's a video game, but since the character's a preternaturally gifted diver, I'd believe that the character feels that way as well, even though they don't talk much.

Everblue 2 was surprisingly good, and I really enjoyed my time with it.

TETRIS EFFECT

Apparently there are people writing off Tetris Effect because it's Tetris. That's really weird to me because Tetris Effect is really good Tetris. I mean, I played a few different versions of Tetris in 2018 and Tetris Effect is by far the standout among them. If there's ever been a case for the value of sound engineers being closely involved with the design process, it's probably Tetris Effect. The subtle animation touches, the dynamic aleatoric music, the particle effects that are overblown but not in the mobile game way -- all of it mixes together to create one of the best versions of Tetris out there.

SEGA AGES: PHANTASY STAR

There's something about Phantasy Star that gets me. Maybe I'm just feeling nostalgic because Phantasy Star was one of the first RPGs I ever tried, but I feel like there's something that Phantasy Star 1 has that no other RPG I've ever played has ever quite captured. Maybe it's the sci-fi setting. Maybe it's the way that the game moves from top-down overworld movement into first-person dungeon-crawling. Maybe it's just that I really, really like the melody playing on the title screen. Maybe it's the fact that the game is fairly serious for an anime game, with the main character being a noble driven by revenge instead of a high school student being driven by the will of the plot.

Phantasy Star feels like a traditional sort of pulpy sci-fi adventure novel, and I think that's what really strikes me about it. RPGs don't really ever try to tell a straight-laced traditional sci-fi adventure, especially turn-based JRPGs. They didn't back then and still don't now. I mean, just trying to think of other RPGs that do the traditional sci-fi thing -- spaceships, interstellar travel, laser guns, robots -- off-hand, I can think of KOTOR, Mass Effect, Cosmic Star Heroine, Star Ocean, Ar Nosurge uh, maybe System Shock? A Blurred Line? Trials in Tainted Space? It's kind of slim pickings. And that's weird, isn't it? I mean, if we're trying to think of generic medieval fantasy titles, we can go and list off Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, Dragon's Dogma, Ni no Kuni, Kingdoms of Amalur, Baldur's Gate, Icewind Dale, Kingdom Come: Deliverance, Age of Decadence, Pillars of Eternity, The Witcher, and so on before needing to reach into the bottom of the barrel for RPG Maker games and porn. It's like everyone writing sci-fi just kind of went "spaceships are lame, let's go do Shadowrun instead", and that's a shame because there's so much room to explore when you have literally the whole universe to work off of.

Genre trappings aside, I think the way that Phantasy Star transitions between top-down and first-person is really interesting at a gameplay level. Top-down exploration, at least at the time, would've evoked lighthearted romps like Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest, while the first-person dungeon-crawling would've made people feel a bit uncomfortable, since it's so claustrophobic and disorienting, evoking memories of more hardcore games like Wizardry, where traps were commonplace and the difficulty was insane. The contrast between the lighthearted and the deathly serious still comes through, even as this particular rerelease has gone and added automatic mapping and an easy mode that rebalances the game to be more accessible to modern design sensibilities. I could go and be all snide about the easy mode, but the whinging about easy modes is tiresome and the dick-waving around hard modes and difficulty and authenticity in games is dumb. The easy mode cuts out a lot of the grindy bullshit and makes it so that you can finish the game in a reasonable amount of time. It might be a little bit against the original spirit of the design, but it makes the game more enjoyable, and that's an acceptable tradeoff.

I really wish that Phantasy Star were its own genre of games, with new people experimenting with the mechanics every couple of years. Like, when you remember that the only other games that are structured in the same way as Phantasy Star are the NES and SNES Megaten games, right down to being able to talk with the monsters and having a first-person view of the item shopkeeper, you can start to see the edges of one of the most fascinating genres that games never explored. Top-down overworld into first-person dungeon-crawler turn-based RPGs with conversation mechanics has so much room to explore, and it's just intrinsically really gritty and cool. I wish more people would explore it. ... Goddammit, I'm going to have to make it myself, aren't I? I guess I'll go bash my head against that later.

Anyway, Phantasy Star is really great, and honestly one-of-a-kind. The spark of creativity that led to the first Phantasy Star game shines bright, even as the series has fallen off the map.

OCCUPY WHITE WALLS

Occupy White Walls is one of the most distilled social games I've ever run across. The goal of the game is to build an art gallery. Put up a couple of walls, go buy some classical art from the art that's loaded into the game's database, place it on the walls, open your art gallery, and wait to buy more art. The only things to do while you're waiting to get more money to expand your gallery and get more art are fussing around with the art placement, talking to people in the chatroom, and visiting other people's galleries. The fact that there's not some monetization scheme to speed up the timers makes me think that the point of the game is honestly and sincerely to get more people to appreciate fine art. The people in the chatroom are pretty reasonable, as online chatrooms go. Everyone has their own style of organizing their galleries, and their own taste in art. That's interesting to see, and it's honestly just a nice little game.

The game's in Early Access, so this is all subject to change. The game might add microtransactions or ads in a later update, and if they do then just ignore everything I've said.

SLAP CITY

I've been a big fan of Ludosity for a good few years now, and a fan of their cofounder Daniel Remar for even longer. The guys at Ludosity have been improving at making games for a while, -- I think Ittle Dew was the turning point where their output started becoming pretty consistently good -- and Slap City is the point where people have finally started to take notice.

Slap City is a platform fighter in the mold of Super Smash Brothers. Where other games in the genre tried to focus on elements like 'big franchise characters' (Playstation All Stars) or 'the technical fighting of Melee' (Rivals of Aether, Icons: Combat Arena), Slap City focuses on the silly party aspect of Smash, and the part where characters who normally don't fight are given a bigger moveset to fight with everyone else. Slap City captures the essence of what makes platform fighters fun, adds its own twists, and has clearly seen a lot of success because of it. I'm very happy that Ludosity's finally getting the credit and acclaim that they've deserved for years.

VALKYRIA CHRONICLES 4

Valkyria Chronicles 4 is, at present, the best game in the Valkyria series. I was really hesitant to buy this one after the absolute disaster that was Valkyria Revolution, but was pleasantly surprised to find that not only was it not a dumpster fire, it was actually pretty good!

Valkyria Chronicles 4 doesn't do anything especially grand by the standards of the series, but it's refined a lot of the rougher parts of VC1 and goes through a lot of the same ideas. Essentially, it's just Valkyria Chronicles 1 again, but way more polished at the gameplay level and with different characters at a different place at a different point in time. Frankly, that's what the series needed, and I'm going to be really interested to see where they go with Valkyria Chronicles 5. VC4 establishes Valkyria Chronicles as an anthology series, has really started polishing the core mechanics, and the designers are getting better at crafting levels with these systems. If Valkyria Chronicles 5 continues along this path and the designers are given more creative leeway to explore war from a different part of the army, we'll have a genuine classic on our hands.

Valkyria Chronicles 4 wipes the slate clean for the series, but does so in the way that soft reboots ought to. That is, it panders to the existing fans by sticking to the core ideas that made the original good and polishing them. It establishes its own identity, and is worthwhile in its own right, and doesn't lean on the original for a cheap sell. It's a really good game, though they need to distill the experience a bit further for it to be a truly great game.

SUPER CLOUDBUILT

I don't have that much to say about Super Cloudbuilt, but it's still the best 3D platformer out there if you can get past the initial learning curve and avoid the Defiance levels like the plague. I think the designers have learned from some of the weaker parts of their design and I'm really looking forward to seeing what Coilworks does with Sky Tracers. Guys, please buy Sky Tracers when it's released. The guys at Coilworks are getting really good at making 3D platformers but nobody's buying their games. Please buy their games so that they can keep making the best 3D parkour-platformers out there.

GRADIENT ADDICTION I don't know what primordial creative ooze this game came out of, but it’s absolutely delightful. There's a sheer joy of creation underpinning this game that's really hard to dislike.

GLOGWILLETTE Everything I said about Gradient Addiction applies here.

VAMPIRE THE MASQUERADE: BLOODLINES Everyone was comparing Vampyr to Bloodlines and it's really difficult to see why they were doing that. I mean, yeah they're both vampire games but Bloodlines is really good and Vampyr is really bad.

Bloodlines is a game that's edgy in the sense that the word was used back around the time of its release. It's incisive. It's biting. It's cutting. They doubled down on the mid-2000s goth aesthetic, and it permeates this game. That's good, because the goth aesthetic absolutely rules.

Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines has a lot of charm to it. The writing's excellent and the gameplay feels pretty good. It's one of those classics that everyone's heard about, so I'll spare you any more words about it.

Ni no Kuni 2 The United States gets nuked and the President is transported to a fantasy world where a young king is about to get overthrown. He caps a few fantasy assassins with his pistol and decides to help the young king conquer the world.

Ni no Kuni 2 is absolutely delightful, go play it.

LESS WHOLEHEARTED RECOMMENDATIONS, BUT STILL REALLY NEAT

XENOBLADE 2: TORNA THE GOLDEN COUNTRY This is going to be the cult classic of the Xenoblade series, I can feel it in my bones. I didn't play much of Torna because I was burnt out on Xenoblade 2's systems after playing 110 hours of Xenoblade 2 and seeing the writing just getting stupider and stupider and the game not ending.

Torna the Golden Country is a prequel to Xenoblade 2. From what little of it I've seen in ten hours, it looks to be focused on all the most interesting characters of Xenoblade 2 at a more interesting point in the game's history. It's not really my thing right now, but I feel like I'm seeing a lot of the elements that people who are a bit more forgiving in their entertainment consumption than I am tend to really love. There's something here, but it's buried. The quality of writing seems much higher than in Xenoblade 2 and we've got a better protagonist than Rex in Laura and the character designs are much more grounded than the main game, and everyone's got clear motivations. These are the sorts of things you see in cult classics.

It's probably relevant to note that, while Torna the Golden Country is described as an expansion pack, it is standalone. You do not need to own Xenoblade 2 to play Torna the Golden Country. I bring this up because the marketing was really unclear on this.

I should really play more of this one.

CROSS CODE It's absolutely delightful, but I don't have much else to say about it. Starts dragging around the 14 hour mark.

YAKUZA (6, Kiwami, Kiwami 2) The Yakuza games are genuinely pretty great, but none of the ones that came out in 2018 really hit home for me. I'd recommend them to people in a heartbeat if they've never tried 'em before, but I don't have anything much to say about the ones that came out this year.

LABYRINTH OF REFRAIN: COVEN OF DUSK NIS put the cool bits of Hundred Knight's aesthetic into a game that doesn't suck ass.

MARY SKELTER: NIGHTMARES It's been like 8 months since I've played this and I don't remember much but I remember that the art style's neat and that it's one of Compile Heart's better dungeon crawlers. Need to get back around to this one.

GO VACATION An absolutely delightful family party game. The minigames are pretty decent and all the different vehicles makes traveling around the resorts reasonably interesting. I get strong MySims vibes off of this, and the MySims games were great.

There's something delightfully video-gamey about the way that you can initiate a cutscene with an NPC by pressing the A button while your car's hurtling towards them at 60 miles an hour.

B+, would recommend.

ALL OF THE KATAMARI GAMES We heart Katamari.

GAMES THAT EVERYONE ELSE REALLY LIKES THAT NEED TO BE ADDRESSED OUT OF OBLIGATION BECAUSE OF THEIR UBIQUITY

CELESTE Celeste is a neat little platformer that's kind of hollow and empty. It's technically competent and fun enough, but kinda bland. It's easy to recommend, but hard to find anything much to say about it. It's alright, but I don't really understand why it won the indie game lottery this year.

ASSASSIN'S CREED ODYSSEY god I just don't care about assassin's creed

RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2 I haven't liked any of the other Rockstar games I've played and see no reason to play this one. Looking forward to the games industry unionizing so that Rockstar and other major studios stop exploiting their employees.

INTO THE BREACH I'm not into roguelites and this one hasn't changed my mind.

HOLLOW KNIGHT Hollow Knight's got a really neat art style and feels pretty good to play, but the Metroid and Souls styles are getting extremely tiresome.

THE MISSING: J.J. MACFIELD AND THE ISLAND OF DREAMS Didn't quite grab me.

VAMPYR Sucks! har har i did a pun

THE MESSENGER I mean yeah it's a ninja platformer. Seems competent enough, plays fine, has decent melodies.

BLOODSTAINED: CURSE OF THE MOON It's neat, but didn't quite grab me.

GOD OF WAR (2018) I don't want to play God of War.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN I'm burned out on superheroes.

SUPER SMASH BROS ULTIMATE It's fine, and I like it more than Smash 4, but it's missing the creative excitement of Brawl and 64 and Melee.

MONSTER HUNTER WORLD I played it to the start of the high ranks and I still don't get it. It’s fine.

SOUTH PARK: THE FRACTURED BUT WHOLE It's competently made and probably worth a look, but kind of a step down from Stick of Truth.

SUBNAUTICA Really good, but I didn't see much reason to continue after I'd gotten the big submarine. Just kind of fell off of it.

RETURN OF THE OBRA DINN Haven't gotten around to it yet.

OCTOPATH TRAVELER it's a really bland jrpg that does nothing new and nothing exceptionally well. h’aanit sucks and her speech quirk drives me up the wall.

DRAGON QUEST XI it's a really bland jrpg that does nothing new and nothing exceptionally well. does not take any creative risks. dragon quest 5 remains the only really good dragon quest title.

POKEMON LET'S GO eh.

MARIO TENNIS ACES It's fine.

PATO BOX It's really neat. I should play more of it one of these days.

DELTARUNE CHAPTER 1 Toby Fox remains quite good at making video games.

BEAT SABER It's good.

SPLATOON 2 OCTOLING EXPANSION in the splatfest, the octolings had black shirts and the inklings had white shirts

the octolings are trapped and the only way out is to ride a train under the city. the octolings are on an underground railroad, as it were HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

FORTNITE haven’t played it.

[sizzlingcrusadebouquetfan-blog]

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Im a 17 year old male, on my intermediate license till march, I turn 18 next month. I got my first ticket of any kind this morning for going 65 on a 55 on a highway, she said since it was 10 or under, its not a moving violation and will not interfere with getting my unrestricted license. Ticket was $114 which I can easily pay, but i want to know if my insurance will raise or not, please answer if your knowledgeable on the topic.""

I am new to car insurance so this may sound simple.?

If I have fully comp insurance on my car , can any person with a current driving licence and, with my permission drive my car? Or must they have some form of personal car insurance to cover them or be a named driver, Thanks miguel""

17 year old and car insurance policy?

my mothers insurance company called her today asking if i had my license. when she responded no but i was thinking about getting it, they said if i did get it, she would have to immediately put me on her policy, even if i DON'T have a car. sounds like some bull to me but then again ive never done this before. to insure a 17 year old male with the car i would have would cost her 3 grand a year anyway which isn't gonna happen. she then asked if i could have my own policy in my name and was told yes and it would be completely in my name and i wouldn't have to sign on any ones policy. as far as i know, i cant sign a legal contract until im 18 because im still a minor in the eyes of the law. (her insurance company is allstate by the way) my questions are-- (1) do i have to be put on her policy as soon as i get my license even if i DON'T have a car? (2) can i have my own policy in my name being a minor (17) with no existing credit history?, and if so (3) can anyone recommend some of the cheaper insurance companies for teens, or is 3 k a year about the norm? 10 to the best answer. thanks.""

How much do you think it would cost a 16 year old on insurance for a 1993 Honda Accord?

How much do you think it would cost a 16 year old on insurance for a 1993 Honda Accord?

Will a 'C' Licence make my insurance cheaper....?

I currently hold a normal car licence (I'm 18) But I passed my Category C test today. For those of you who don't know what a category C vehicle is. I doubt you will know the answer to the question so please don't make up some rubbish... Will this make my car insurance cheaper considering I can drive a vehicle about 5 times the size? Also, I'm hoping to get my Artic licence next year, Will this make my insurance go down even further? I mean for my car, I already know my Lorry insurance is going to be INSANE. But I've got in the army as a Driver anyway so that doesn't really matter.....""

Car insurance under parents name in a different state?

I go to college in Washington and my parents live in Hawaii. I was wondering if i could buy a car here with the title in my name and have the insurance in their name since my insurance rates are sky high.

Do I need to have insurance to drive a car across country?

The car is registered in California under a family member's name. I'm 18 living in Pennsylvania. I want to be able to drive this car from California to Pennsylvania. So do I need to register for insurance before i start driving the vehicle across country?

""Any thoughts on the Acura TL vs. the 2007 Altima, insurance, cost, quality etc.?""

Any thoughts on the Acura TL vs. the 2007 Altima, insurance, cost, quality etc.?""

Is it true that red cars cost more to insure?

I live in Oregon if that makes a difference.

Car insurance for 4 months.?

I'm going to uni in 4 months but my mum is planning to buy a car. I'll be the main driver for the 4 months prior to uni and after that it will be my mum's car and I won't be driving it at all. How would I go about getting insurance for this situation?

How much is monthly insurance rates?

What are the things you pay insurance for and how much...

Where can i find a cheap mustang and a good deal on insurance?

im 18 and my insurance is cheap but i dont no how much it will go up if i get a mustang. i live in ohio and need a place near me so i dont have to go far

Best car for low insurance? UK?

I'm 20 year old girl, just started having driving lessons so this would be my first car. I got an estimate online for where I live it would be about 1000; Greater (West) London but I know; obviously it depends. It would be cheaper on a classic car but don;t want the risk of repairs and high maintenance that would come with older cars. However I do love the classics and would consider them if it decreases the insurance. I'm a student living at home. What cars would be best for low insurance? I love Volkswagen Beetles but want to look at other cars as well. What are some 'low risk' cars that won;t drive my insurance through the roof??? Thanks for all the help!!!""

How much does car insurance cost for 17 years old driver?

My parents have their policy from travelers and i tried getting quote online. What it showed for 2002 NISSAN MAXIMA that i have to pay 600 for month and for liability insurance 450 I think thats wrong information because my friend is 16 and pay 186 for 2 full coverage insurance and one liability. Any one had experience or know some information about 17 year old insurance rates please help me. THANK YOU.

Is Aviva a good car insurance what is a good car insurance company for a first driver ?

Aviva is the company that gave me a cheap car insurance quote. I would like to know if Aviva is actually a decent company to go with? I am a first time driver they gave me a quote for 501 per month.

affordable american insurance inc

affordable american insurance inc

What would be the cheapest way to get a car insurance?

What would be the cheapest way to get a car insurance?

How much does it cost to insure a ninja 250r bike?

im 19 and would like to know how much it would cost. thanks. and what i can do to lower it

Whats a good car with low insureance and good gas mileage!?

im looking for a car that had good gas mileage and low insureance. i was really looking into a jeep and trucks and some cars.. that looked sporty.. but i know sporty cars have high insureance.. im looking for somthing that will be a good first car..but im not sure...

Where can I get a good deal on my car insurance?

I passed my driving test about 4 days ago now and sooo badly want to get a car. I am looking at a ford fiesta 1.25 zetec which I have seen but have done some insurance quotes and its sooo expensive. Where and how can I find cheap car insurance. I am doing my pass plus next week and I am now 18. I have a mum and dad i could put on the insurance but they do not have any no claims as they drive a company car. So is there anyway I can get a good deal and where? HELP!!!!

What Multiline Insurance Company is the Best?

I need an insurance company that will do all line of insurance. Life, Auto, Home, Disability, Long Term Care and even Financial products. I heard COUNTRY insurance does that but I'm not sure.""

How many hours do you have to work in California to be eligible for health insurance?

I work 35 hours a week, and have no health insurance. Am I eligible? Should I question this?""

Car insurance rough estimate?

55 years old, recent drink driving conviction, Mazda sports car worth < 2K.""

What's the average insurance cost of a 17 year old just strating to drive?

1.) In a 1.0 engine car 2.) In a 1.5 engine car 2.) In a 2.0 engine car

It should be illegal for the amount car insurance comanies charge for young drivers!!?

Having my driving test next month and looking at buying a car soon, either a clio or corsa. I have just got some quotes for a clio and a corsa and all i can say is that its ...show more""

Do i need full insurance if I finance a car?

I have 2500 I want to put down on a car that cost 5000 Do I need full insurance? I live in NY

What will i have to pay for car insurance?

Im a new driver 16 years old and I am male. I live in pennsylvania in a small city of around 6,500 people and I would like to know how much i would probably estimated be paying a month for my car insurance. I Drive a 1998 Dodge Neon Highline. I dont know if anyone can help me but if you have some place were i can go and get a estimate on what i will probably be paying for car insurance it would be greatly appreciated.""

Applying for health insurance coverage - please help?

Do you have to have a valid social security number to apply for health insurance benefits with regence blue cross blue shield?

Do I use car insurance or health insurance in a car accident?

I had a car accident (three cars)last week, my car was the fist car ( third car hit second car's back and second car hit my car's back). Although the second car had serious damage and my car's bumper had minor damage, but we didn't call the police. I felt my neck, shoulder and back painful in the first day when I woke up. after 5 days, i don't feel any back pain, but i still feel painful from my neck and shoulder. Do I consider about hire a lawyer (minor car damage)? If I don't find a lawyer, how can I ask the driver to pay my med bills? Do I use my health insurance first then claim the driver's car insurance company? or pay by cash first? what kind of doctor I need to see? Thanks""

Car insurance?

I have a 94 camaro and I was wondering how much insurance would cost under my parents name. I'm 16 and a good driver, I don't know if that matters but I want to save some money""

Looking for an affordable reliable rehab center in TX.?

I have a family member who is in need of rehabilitation (pill addiction). La Hacienda is 26k for 35 days. Do you know of anything cheaper but reliable, or is that 'normal'? ...show more""

Insurance rates for 2003 F150?

Ok, so I'll start off by saying I'm 15, and when I do turn 16, I want to get an F150. My question is, what can I expect to be the insurance rates on a car like that? I've read from multiple websites that despite being a truck, it has decent rates because it's extremely safe and is reliable. Can anyone give some information or direct me to a website that would help me out?""

Insurance for new driver?

For a new male driver that just got their permit, which car would have cheaper insurance? 2013 Audi A6 3.0T or a 2000 Corvette convertible Most people's first responses are the Corvette, because it is a sports car. However, it has only slightly more power than the Audi, and is worth less than half of what the Audi is. Both cars are titled under the same persons name, if that makes a difference. Would the difference in value make the Corvette's insurance cheaper, or will it still be higher?""

Is it true that the older you get the more car insurance you pay?

My father lives in california and received his car insurance bill , he's 80 yr old. within the last year never received a ticket of any kind or was in an accident. and now he's paying more. Does that sound right?""

Insurance premium after an accident?

So I was in an accident last week. It was a minor fender bender and was my first accident in the 9 years of driving I've had. I got a ticket for careless driving from the cop and I only did a small dent in the other car's bumper. My car however took a decent amount of damage and is currently being fixed. They said it is going to cost $2050 to repair my car and $440 for the others persons but I just have to pay my $500 deductible. What I'm wondering is how much should I expect my insurance to go up from this? I currently pay around $900 a year and use progressive insurance.

Car insurance rates depends on Car Makes?

I have a really big issue on my hands, and that is finding a car that doesn't have a high insurance rate. What is the difference in insurance prices with different cars like BMW and Honda/ Toyota and Cadillac? Also, provide a source! plz! thnx!!""

I need a new credit card so I can pay my car insurance.?

Can I get a new credit card then pay my 400+ car insurance with it and then be able to pay it off gradually without having interest rates added to the bill? The cards say 0% interest for the first 9 months BUT they then say if you pay your credit card bill in full you don`t have interest on it. What does this mean if it already states you don`t have interest for the first 9 months anyway? It doesn`t make sense, none of it.""

Car insurance help in northern ireland!!!?

i am a 17 year old living in northern ireland and i am practicing for my driving license but i hav had quotes on cars and they are in the region of 2000 pounds which i cannot afford. my dad has 30 years no claims on his insurance but he will not let me on his insurance in case som1 claims against me and he loses his no claims bonus. can someone please help me because i really want to drive a car of my own that i can afford the insurance on???

Lowest priced liability insurance in Texas?

I need only the bare minimum required by law. Have had only one ticked in the last 5 years. Live in Anderson County. Geico is a joke.

How much would car insurance go up?

I'm currently driving a 1994 Honda accord and i'm paying $150/MO for car insurance. How much would my car insurance go up if I bought a used car...let's say a 2002 Audi Thanks!

How much will my mom's car insurance go up after I crashed her car?

I'm almost 19, got my license about 8 months ago now. I was in a drive-thru going only 10 KM an hour at most and accidentally rear ended a car after I panicked and accelerated. My mom's car definitely had the most damage done. All of the other people involved only had slight dents or scratches. I think the damage is around $3000. I know my mom has really good insurance and I'm pretty sure it's no-fault (and it happened on a private property). How likely is it that her insurance will go up? Oh and for the record my mom has NEVER had a ticket or been involved in an accident before. Stupid me.""

affordable american insurance inc

affordable american insurance inc

Insurance costs a fortune?

Anyone know of an insurance company that can give really cheap quotes for teenagers. UK Based

Is minimum coverage car insurance the same as an SR22?

In Tennessee, is minimum coverage car insurance the same as an SR22? I already have minimum coverage but am now required to get an SR22. Is this something that needs to be added on or will minimum coverage suffice? Thanks.""

Will third party car insurance compensate me if i don't have car insurance myself?

I do have car insurance that's for a start, but my insurance is threatening me that if i don't pay an extra premium to update my policy, they will cancel it. With that being said if the third party have already admitted liability will I still be compensated for my damage to my vehicle and injuries? The reason why they need to update my policy is because when I did the quote online I inputted the amount of cars in the household as 1 instead of 3 (my error) but upon going back to their website to retry the quote with 1 car vs 3 cars in the household, it turns out cheaper to have 3 cars instead of the one so i cant understand why I would need to pay more to get something cheaper. Now I don't want to pay 200 to update my policy for the remaining time on my policy which is roughly a month;s time, if they do cancel my policy will the third party insurance still compensate me? Thanks in advance""

Do I need an insurance license in California?

If I work for a licensed insurance agent in California by calling present clients to see if they need more or different insurance and ask questions to get a quote do I need to be licensed? The licensed agent will give all quotes.

My car insurance wants to void policy?

I have a ford fester 3 doors that is insured with more than. My dad has a stroke and was getting worse as my mum or dad cannot drive I got a Peugeot 206 with 5 doors so that it would be easier for my mum and dad to get in and out of the car when taking them shopping, I also use the car when my partner is using my ford fester. My son (NAME DRIVER) uses my Peugeot 206 to go to and from college this is 3 days a week. Out of 7 days a week my son uses my Peugeot 3 days to do to college they are the only days he uses it. I use it the rest of the week. My son had a crash on the 30/09/2010 on the way home from college. The crash was not his thought as the car had just pulled out on him when the other car should have stopped. The car that crashed into his span the car around and smashed into the side of him, where the car has impacted him side (DRIVERS SIDE) the seat belt locked so my son had to climb out on the seat belt and get out the passenger side as the drivers door was smashed him. We have a witness and CCTV of what happened. When we called the insurance company (MORE THAN) they asked what happened and my son told them. They then said they will be in touch. That night we had to go to hospital as he is really has back, neck and wrist pains. It has not been 27 days since the crash and since then we have found out that we have been investigated for fraud has they are saying we lied about the amount of car in our house hold. My partner has 1 work van, 1 car that is on a classic insurance, and then I have 2 cars. When taking out the new insurance policy for my Peugeot I only said I have 1 car and that was the ford fester which I did, however is I was doing a new policy for me in my name I didt know I had tell them about other cars that my partner has. Now they are saying the under writer have sent u a letter saying if you pat 550 we will add the other card onto the policy and also change the name over to your sons name and u can say he is the main user. HE ANY THE MAIN USER 3 DAYS A WEEK HE USES IT THEN I USE IT THE REST. So they are kinds of bribing me? I own the car and brought it with my money and on the car registration document it says my name So if I say ok I will pay u the 550 the car does not belong to my son Cox it dont say his name of it.""

""Can I add my wife's car to my insurance, rather then renew her own policy?""

My wife and I recently married, and it's time for her to renew her insurance. Her driving record isn't great, so her rates have been quite high. Being that we're married, can I just add her vehicle to my own policy to save money, or will she need to have the insurance in her own name??""

Which is the best childrens' insurance plans?

Please detail about both unit linked & regular insurance plans.

Gender inequality CAR INSURANCE!! why?

Seriously why do guys have to pay more for car insurance compared to women? It is unfair. If this was the other way round, all the females will be complaining and protesting. Now obviously women expect men to bend over backwards for there so called 'rights'. Right i now most of the women who use yahoo answer come back will be 'Men cause more accidents'. Well in fact men do not proportionately cause more accidents, men have more accidents, but men drive proportionately far more than women at a given time 79% of of all cars being driven are by males, 71% of all accidents are by males. Same goes with young males (17-22), they tend to be the first to want to embrace there rights when they turn 17 to be able to drive an automobile. You could clearly use your imagination and see that the stats are true. In a traditional nuclear family who drives mostly? obviously the husband (male). How would women feel like if they lost the right to equal pay.. because of statistics that they tend to take more days off due to things like maternity leave.""

What is the average time taken by an Insurance company to pay out on a car claim.?

I suppose it would depend on the nature of the damage to ones car and also who was at fault. However in my case, my car caught fire from what I believe may have been an electrical fault. It is now a total write off. I realise the insurance company has to carry out it's investigations but how long should this take and how soon would one expect to receive an offer. I made a claim 6 weeks ago and am still being fobbed off with the explanation that the investigations are on-going.""

Most affordable insurance company is?

Looking for cheap health insurance, I have never had health insurance before. What is the least amount of money a company will want from me to have full coverage of a surgery or hospital bill?""

Mandated Health Insurance is different from Mandated Auto Insurance how?

The Supreme Court will be deciding if the government can force us to buy health insurance from a private corporation. The government forces us to buy auto liability insurance from a private corporation. I am at a loss to see the difference.

Why are my auto insurance quotes so expensive?

I am an 18 year old male trying to get coverage on my 1994 toyota camry le 4 door. I just acquired my license today and I've never had an incident. I am also single and living ...show more

When getting your car inspected do they call your auto insurance company?

I was just wondering if in Pennsylvania when getting your car inspected do they call your insurance company to make sure you have insurance on the vehicle or do they just look at your insurance card.

Are you required to pay car insurance even if you're not driving?

I'm 17 about to turn 18, I have my level 2 license and live in michigan, I have insurance with AAA and they said I have to pay car insurance even if I'm not driving, I'm trying to save for a car and don't want to pay for something every month that I don't need. So if I'm not driving and don't own a car do I have to pay or is the insurance company just wanting my money?""

Appropriate and affordable health insurance for my autistic son?

Here is the situation: My son is seven and severely autistic. He lives with his mom (we are divorced). As part of our agreement, I take care of his health insurance and medical bills, co-pays and things related to his medical care. I pay for insurance for him thru my employer, around $280 a month, just for him. However, although it is pretty good for office visits, it is really bad for hospital. Because he is autistic, he has to be knocked out for some procedures that he wouldn't normally be knocked out for. Recently he incurred a $9000 bill, which the insurance company wont pay because he already maxed out his hospital indemnity for the year. I feel that the time has come to provide him with some sort of hospital indemnity, but I can't find any that I can actually afford. I don't make very much, I make enough to pay his regular health insurance and his child support, and the occasional doctor bill. But I don't make enough to pay the huge premiums that a regular hospital indemnity plan has. To add another wrinkle, I live in New York, he lives with his mom in Connecticut, she is the one who brings him to the doctor/hospital, I'm just the one who pays for it, which I am happy to do. But the problem is, that anything available with NY, only covers providers in NY. CT wont work with me because i do not live there. Am I screwed (as in I have to pay 900 per month in hospital insurance), or is there something I can do? By the way, I make about $36000 per year, not a lot for New York. I just want to provide the best care for my son, but I need something I can actually afford""

Question about Michigan auto insurance! URGENT!?

I have a son that has his drivers license and he doesn't have a car. He does NOT drive my car! Does he have to be on MY policy? If he's on my insurance it raises it 500 dollars for 6 months! HELP!

Is there any way to get my health insurance to cover the cost of a body lift?

6'1 , 25 y/o male, spent the majority of the past 4 years dropping from 430lbs to a current 198lbs. The weight loss has left me with large amounts of sagging skin on my inner thighs, pelvis, abdomen, chest and upper arms. All of these areas are covered in large amounts of stretch marks as well, which leads me to believe these areas will never recover without surgery. Now my chest and arms are not nearly as big of an issue as working out at the gym has started to fill these areas in with muscle, but no amount of situps are tightening the skin around my abdomen, and no amount of leg exercises are firming up my inner thighs. Cardio actually seeems to make the issue worse as I lose even more weight. I've also begun to notice that the more the skin sags around my torso, the more my lower back hurts. Also, chafing on my inner thighs and buttocks makes cardio pardon the pun, but a pain in the ***. I know insurance companies don't like to cover cosmetic surgeries but there has to be something that can be done.Any ideas?""

How to get cheap car insurance?

Hi guys, i really need your a good and effectivr advice about this, please if you know something that would help post it here! Im 20 year old, have a car Peugeot 206 1.1 litre - cheap market value (1000ish). I live in London. Since 17 years old im looking for insurance - unsuccessfully. The best quote i get is 4000ish. I have no criminal record, no accidents no claims - nothing! And im fed up with so many people driving at my age and I cant- i just dont understand why exactly mine is so bloody expensive! Ive tried every variation just to see what im missing - pass plus for example only helps to the extent of 100. Its just crazy - 3 years and i still cant drive - what the hell is wrong with this - home come everyone is showing off by how cheap insurance they have and i cant get anything? Whats the secret? Ive tried every combination - me as the main driver/named driver/owner/just user etc. cheapest is 4,000!! Whats wrong with me? Anybody knows whats the trick, how to solve this issue? Thanks!""

Should I be able to get disability?

Here is my story, I was working and slipped and fell on my side (I did file a accident report). At first I felt fine just a numbness in my side and thinking it would go away, but as the months went by the numbness went away to only be replaced by a pain. I took pain medications to ease it and it helped relieve the pain but now it hardly does anything, if anything at all. I am like 6'4 and before the accident I weighed around 230, now I am climbing to 320??? Oh, I am 25. Oh, and I have been fighting my insurance for 5 years. I cannot exercise to lose weight because the pain in my side prevents me to do daily activities for long or if any at all. I have grown severely depressed as in that I have gained all this weight and feel disgusted with the way I look like and try to avoid any human contact or be seen because I feel disgusting with the way I look. I hope I have said all I needed to do. I just feel I cannot function as a normal person in society anymore. And times if there is no hope for me, I feel as if maybe the best solution for me is to commit suicide because I just feel so much like a freak to the world now.""

""On an Annual basis, how much does health insurance cost in America?

I would like to know how much the average American citizen pays in Health Insurance per year please.

Benefits of health insurance?

How do individuals benefit from having health insurance? What are the sources from which an individual can obtain health insurance? Why do you think the government provides insurance to older and poorer Americans? What are your opinions of this practice? Why is health insurance likely to become a bigger and more complex issue in the future? Is health insurance a current events issue today? Why or Why Not?

""As a 21 year old unemployed college student, do I need to buy health insurance?""

I'm an unemployed senior in college and I don't have health insurance. I live with my mother, who is currently unemployed and uninsured. We're pretty much just getting by, ...show more""

Van insurance for youngsters?

I'm 17 and i do Motocross and because of this i need a van to transport my bike to and from tracks (i don't want to get a trailer) it will only be used on weekends, but i am getting ridiculous insurance quotes. where can i get good insurance for young drivers?""

How can I get a lower price for car insurance?

I'm 20 years old and I'm about to get my car this weekend (hopefully) as well as my license hopefully by the 3rd week in may. And what insurance companies would you recommend?

Can you trick car insurance companies?

Lets say I get a 4 door acura integra, the most basic LS kind. It should be pretty cheap on insurance. But if I do a GSR motor swap and mod it heavily(turbo etc..) Is the insurance company actually gonna be investigating into these things? I mean, for all I know I could just say I got it that way.. It's stil technically an integra sedan, a car made to get groceries.""

affordable american insurance inc

affordable american insurance inc

INSURANCE ON A 1986 MUSTANG GT?

I TRIED TO GET A QUOTE ON ALL STATE BUT the only years i have 2 choose from is 1995 - 2010 so can i get insurance with a regular company or do i need to get classic car insurance

How much auto insurance should I carry?

Is it true that depending on your net worth, you should get more or less auto insurance? I'm a college student so I only work part-time and only have a modest amount saved up. The value of my car is about $4000. Right now I have 50000/100000 for injury, 50000 property damage, and 50000/100000 for uninsured or under-insured motorists. I have no comprehensive or collision coverage. I can not afford those. But liability wise, am I good or would it be OK to buy less or should I buy more auto insurance? I am not on my mother's insurance policy because with her being in another state, and the car being garaged with me, it's not worth it and I'm not sure if it's possible""

HELP! Im 14 and looking for cheap car insurance!?!?

my Said That I Would Have To Pay For My Insurance Every month HELP ME With The Cheapest

Decent car that's cheap to buy and insure?

Hi so I'm looking at buying a car. Right now I only have around 3,000. I would rather just get a cheaper car now but if nots possible I can wait until I have 5,000. Okay so I know I'm not going to be buying a Ferrari for my budget but I'm looking for some ideas of cars that are inexpensive to buy, inexpensive to insure and one I won't get laughed at for driving. The oldest year I would go is a 1999.leave your ideas. Thanks""

Is this a reputable health insurance company?

Does esurance.com list reputable companies or do they list just any company? It looks like I have found a really good deal for student indemnity insurance from a company called Time. Does anyone know if this is a good company?

Is it illegal to drive a car thats not yours without insurance?

I need to know if it is legal to drive someone elses car even if i dont have car insurance but the owner of the car does i dont own a car but my half brother does and lets me use it the only problem is i don't have insurance is it still illegal for me to drive this car i do have a valid license this is in Ohio

Where can i find cheap car insurance on a honda civic type r?

im 23 and these will be my first car im driving...i will put my dad name as the main driver his 53..jus need 2find really cheap car insurance

Car insurance price after a year still high. Any suggestions?

Hiya, So basically I have been driving for a year as a named driver on my dads policy. In that time I haven't had one accident or claim, no speeding tickets and never ...show more""

I need afforable health insurance.?

I don't even know how to look for insurance but I need to find an affordable individual insurance policy in Nevada. I am a 22/female. However I am asthmatic (only mildly) and I take birth control for medical reasons (I am not sexually active). However I have never smoked, done drugs, and if I drink it will only be like one glass 1-3x a year, so hardly at all.""

Car insurance for a teen?

Hello, I am 16 years old looking for my first vehicle. I am wanting a diesel car so I can make it run on vegetable oil. However the car I am wanting is a volkswagon TDI. Which stands for turbocharged direct injection. And I know turbochargers affect your insurance greatly. So I look at different cars that can be ran off of veggie oil. And most of the are TDI. What do I do? Best answer gets 5 stars""

Single input multiple quote car insurance?

looking for multiple quotes on car insurance with single information input

Are dual sport bikes cheaper on insurance?

Well me being only 17 and only having a minumum wage job. I heard it was cheaper to own a bike. Don't get the wrong impression, I can afford a car and insurance. It's it cost too much money. I have less thsn 100$ every MONTH to myself. I should habe over 650. So anyways. I want to get a bike. Since i'll only be commuting. Social,work,school. Is it worth it. And if so what kind of bike shoukd I get. I'm 6.3 and big. Woukd a 250cc be a good start?""

Rear ended someone with the same insurance (AAA California). Deductible is waived. Who pays for damages?

If insurance pays for damages to their car, will my premium increase? The estimate of damages is larger than my deductible but since it is only cosmetic damages is it worth the risk ...show more""

""How do you get health insurance ONLY for kids, not adding on to parent's plan?""

I don't qualify for CHIP. My work insurance is great for singles, ok for married couples, terrible for families. We had insurance with Texas Children's Hospital for our kids and it was fantastic. Great coverage for low rates. So of course they are stopping offering the plan. I keep going to rate quote sites, but they demand I be on the plan. Can't you just insure your kids?""

Are SUVs more expensive to insure?

I know you can't tell me for sure whether or not one will be more expensive. But, generally speaking is a small SUV such as a Ford Escape more expensive to insure than say a midsized car like a Honda Accord.""

""Difference in insurance price between 2007 4DR Chevy Cobalt, and 2008 Pontiac G6 GT 4DR?""

I currently have a 2007 Cobalt LT 4DR 2.2. I'm fairly happy with the car but I want a car with a little bit more room, that's still a GM or Ford and has a little bit better get up and go. I love my low insurance rates with the cobalt how much do you think i'd go up with the g6?""

""Driving other cars, insurance policy for under 25?""

does anyone know of any insurance companies that offer DOC on their comprehensive insurance policy for an under 25? If not, how much roughly would a weeks insurance cost on another car?""

Why is insurance higher on sports cars?

I pay high insurance on my camero.But some of these non-sport cars seem to drive faster than me. But I do drive the speed limits.Do you think its fair I pay higher?

Car Insurance for a 17 year old!! ?

Is anyone else struggling to find at least a reasonable price for car insurance? The cheapest quotes i am getting is 4,900 on a 206!! Am I doing something wrong, i've checked multiple car insurance sites and can't find anything jus below 5 grand. How the hell do insurance companies think 17 year olds can afford this? It's daylight robbery?""

Insurance Increase for a newer car Regal to Focus?

I had a 1999 Buick Regal Supercharged and switched to a 2002 Ford Focus SE. This resulted in my insurance going from 750 to 1000$ for the year. Any ideas why this may be, as far as I see the Focus should be safer and have more features resulting in lower insurance. According to my insurance company apparently it was rated as being less safe. (no coverages were changed on the insurance just the price increased) Any ideas would be much appreciated.""

Acura RSX or Toyota Celica. only have 8 grand to spend

which will have cheaper insurance, is faster, can be modified more""

Alternatives to Auto Insurance?

I remember reading something a few years ago about rather then having regular auto insurance, you could have money in a bank account dedicated to be your insurance. Have any of you heard of this and if possible can you provide some sources?""

What is electronic insurance?

details about electronic insurance

Obama used to be critical of insurance companies. But his health care plan seems like it will benefit them.?

Obama used to be critical of the health insurance companies, but his health care plan seems like it was designed to benefit the insurance companies more than anyone else. Why is that?""

What should an 18-21 year old pay for motorcycle insurance? liability only?

if i were to get a motorcycle i would have to pay the insurance and i would like to know the cheapest but smartest way to do it.

affordable american insurance inc

affordable american insurance inc

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-best-insure-teenage-driver-keith-payne/"

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2sE49gH

Have you ever dreamed of getting insanely rich overnight? Well, of course you have. Everybody wishes he or she could wake up and never have to work another day, having everything one could ever want or need. That’s why the lottery and gambling are so popular and ‘get-rich schemes’ on the internet are endless. People fall for these scams in the hope that they might be the one to get lucky to find the gold to prove that the odds weren’t against them. What about searching for a hidden treasure? Wouldn’t this fulfill every childhood dream you had? You might be surprised to find out that there are still hidden treasures out there all over the world. Things that have never been found. There is gold hidden by pirates, old artifacts stolen, golden owls hidden away for fun, yellow Indian diamonds missing, crazy expensive necklaces with thousands of diamonds, and so much more, all waiting to be discovered.

#1 Forest Fenn’s Hidden Artifacts Forest Fenn was a rich collector who was diagnosed with kidney cancer in 1988. So, with only a year to live, he went to the Rocky Mountains and hid many treasures and old artifacts estimated to value about one to three million dollars. It’s like an old adventure film. He left instructions in the form of a riddle to help people find his treasures. “Begin it where warm waters halt And take it in the canyon down, Not far, but too far to walk. Put in below the home of Brown.” Seriously! How generalized and unspecific did he want his riddle to be? No wonder no one has ever been able to find it.

#2 The Golden Owl Have you ever tried to drive someone crazy? Well, this is the way to do it. A man went by the name Max Valentine and in 1993, he claimed he had hidden a treasure, a golden owl in the French Country Side. He said if anyone managed to find it, he would reward them that person a million dollars. People went crazy trying to find this. Some even burned a church down in pursuit of this golden owl. In an interview, Max Valentine stated that the owl was still in place as he had gone back to check on its location. He said people had gotten close with obvious signs of searching nearby. Unfortunately, Max Valentine is now dead and no one knows whether the owl is even still hidden. Imagine if this man just made up the whole story to draw attention to himself and give the impression to everyone in the world that he had enough money to play games with it. We can only guess.

#3 Thomas Beale’s $63 Million Thomas Beale was a miner who discovered about $63 million worth of gold with a few other men in 1816. They wanted to make sure their children and all their descendants got this money so they left it hidden. Thomas Beale wrote three codes describing where the treasure was, what the treasure was, and the names of the men and their family, so that they would know who the treasure belonged to. He gave this code in a box to a man named Robert Morris who was supposed to open the box after ten years. Thomas Beale was supposed to send a key for the codes if he wasn’t able to return, but he never did. Robert and a friend tried their best to translate the code, but the best they could do was understand what the treasure was. No one has found the treasure to this day.

#4 Pearls In The Salton Sea In 1612, a ship was sailed by Juan De Iturbe across the Pacific Ocean. Rumor has it that the ship sank in what is now known as the Salton Sea, in the Mojave Desert. They say there were loads of expensive black pearls on the ship. The pearls are believed to be worth millions of dollars. The men say they were tossed off the boat into Cahuilla and had to leave the ship and hike on foot all the way to safety. No one has ever claimed to find all these pearls, so people believe that they are still out there somewhere. This legend has grown in fame, so much so that they even made a movie about the treasure being found in 1870.

#5 Diamonds In London This treasure has a greater chance of being discovered since it was only lost in 2009. Graff Diamonds is an expensive jewelry store in London that was robbed in 2009. The two men who robbed the place had extensive disguises. They had gone to a makeup artist for four hours before the robbery, changing their faces and hair. They said to each other that even their own mother wouldn’t have been able to recognize them. They went into the Graff store pretending to buy jewelry and then held an employee at gunpoint forcing the store to give them 43 pieces of jewelry worth up to about $65 million. These jewels were never discovered even though both of the men were eventually caught by police. So there is $65 million worth of jewels and diamonds out there somewhere. Although, if you did find these stolen jewels, you would still have to return them, as each one is marked and chipped with the Graff code.

#6 Flor Do Mar Put on your scuba-diving gear and get ready for the underwater experience of your life. A nobleman, Afonso de Albuquerque, had a large Carrack filled with gifts for the King of Portugal. The boat had traveled around the Indian Ocean, but unfortunately sank in November, 1511. This was one of the biggest Carracks in existence for its time, weighing 400 tons. So when you hear that it was full of treasure, you know there had to be a lot. This treasure was taken from the Sultan of Malacca’s palace. The ship sunk during a storm leaving many men dead. It sunk in the Kingdom of Aru, Sumatra off Timia Point. Alfonso lost all of the treasure. The boat and its treasure are still to be discovered. Portugal, Indonesia, and Malaysia are all fighting over who actually owns the boat if it is found, so you might have a hard time keeping this treasure even if you discover it.

#7 Mosby’s $350,000 Colonel John Singleton Mosby (is that not the longest name you’ve ever heard?), also known as the Gray Ghost because of how quickly he disappeared, was a commander in the Civil War in Virginia, fighting in the Battle of Bull Run and the Peninsular Campaign. He had outstanding skills in disappearing and blending into things to avoid being caught. As a child, he was weak and frail and was often bullied. He always tried to fight back and would lose. He shot a kid that was attacking him, without killing him, and ended up in jail for a year. Perhaps this is what taught him to disappear and hide rather than attack face on. He took $350,000, but then almost got caught so he and his men buried the treasure. He sent men back later to collect the money, but they were all caught and killed. So John Mosby never ended up going back to collect his treasure.

#8 The Irish Crown Jewels People are still trying to work out how the Irish Crown Jewels went missing back in 1907. The cleaner who worked in the Dublin Castle discovered the safe wide open with the jewels gone, while the inner door had been secured with the library key still in the lock. The Jewels were said to be worth around £1,340,000 in 2015 and contain the “jeweled star and badge regalia of the Sovereign and Grand Master of the Order of St. Patrick.” The safe was moved in 1907, but the dimensions were wrong and so it couldn’t fit in the strong room, so they had to store it in the office of the King of Arms, Arthur Vicars. The keys were all held by the Vicars and staff. They were very relaxed about this. The Vicar got drunk once and awoke with all the precious jewels on him. This might not have been an outside job. Perhaps it was carried out by those who protected the jewels. People say these jewels have probably been broken to pieces and sold off or hidden away somewhere.

#9 The Florentine Diamond This mystery feels like the sort of thing you find in many novels. The Florentine Diamond is a beautiful yellow diamond with origins from India that was valued at $750,000 during World War One. The stone dates back to at least 1476. During the 1700’s, the jewels were placed in the Hapsburg Crown Jewels after Francis Stephan of Lorraine married Empress Maria Theresa, bringing the jewel to Vienna with him. During WWI, the Austrian Empire fell. Thus, Charles I took many jewels, including the Florentine diamond, into exile to Switzerland. This diamond was stolen by an unknown subject around 1918 and was taken to South America. With no clue of its whereabouts, some claim it may have been cut up and sold in America after it was stolen in 1918. If it wasn’t cut and resold, it would be an extremely impressive jewel to discover and would be worth a great amount today.

#10 Oak Island Mystery The Oak Island Mystery is a baffling one. While many critics believe there is no treasure on this island, there have been countless books written about this mystery and even a documentary that was aired in 2014 about finding the hidden treasure of the island. The Oak Island is located in Canada in Nova Scotia’s south shore. There are so many different theories as to what’s hidden in these islands, mostly ancient artifacts and numerous locations the supposed treasures could be. Mostly, treasure hunters like to look at a few specific locations—the “Money Pit, a formation of boulders called Nolan’s Cross, the beach at Smith’s Cove, and a triangle-shaped swamp.” They say that the Money Pit has already been excavated and nothing has ever been found, but people continue to go to these islands to search.

#11 Patiala Necklace This is a pretty amazing necklace. It contains 2,930 diamonds. Not only that, but it actually holds the world’s seventh largest diamond known as the “De Beers,” some rubies, and seven more diamonds with 18 to 73 carats. The necklace was made for Bhupinder Singh of Patiala in 1928 by the House of Cartier, and then later given to Maharaja, also of the state of Patiala. Somehow, in 1948, the necklace disappeared, but the famous De Beers diamond reappeared in 1982 by itself at Geneva auction being sold for $3.16 million. The rest of the necklace later surfaced in London, but was of course missing all of its large diamonds and rubies. Cartier decided to buy the necklace and remake it. It took them four years, and they only made a replica, probably realizing the danger of making such an outrageous necklace. They filled the missing jewels with cubic zirconia and made a fake De Beers diamond for the centerpiece.

#12 Alamo Treasure In Texas USA, the lost Alamo Treasure is hidden. The Mexican army fought 100 men from Texas and destroyed every single one of them in the battle of the Alamo in 1836. Reportedly, the Alamo had hidden treasure of gold in its grounds worth millions. The treasure was brought to help free the Texas people from Mexico. They hid the treasure in case another war arose and they needed supplies. The theory is that the treasure was hidden in the bottom of the well, though others believe there isn’t any treasure and that if there were, they wouldn’t have hidden it in a well during a war, as that would have dirtied their only access to clean drinking water in the instance of a siege. The Alamo was a fortress and also used as a Roman Catholic mission. The building was actually designed for educating the newly converted Christian American natives. The front street has already been excavated in search of the lost treasure. The building is now a museum.

#13 Poland’s Royal Casket Poland’s Royal Casket was made for royalty in 1800 and was said to contain seventy-three prized relics “including gold watches, chains, silver rosaries, ivory boxes and silver cutlery.” It went missing during the World War II after it was sent to Sieniawa in Southwest Poland. They tried to hide the treasure in Poland, but ended up losing it. Some people say that its whereabouts were given away in 1939 by a local named German Miller who told the invading Nazis where to find the hidden Royal Casket. To this day, none of the missing relics have been found. It’s possible that they are all scattered throughout Germany hidden in various places.

#14 Ivory Coast Jewels $6 Million The Ivory Coast Jewels were stolen only in 2011. The museum in the capital of Ivory Coast was robbed during the Abidjan battle. They believe this robbery had help from the inside as none of the windows or glass boxes were smashed and the doors weren’t even open. The museum hasn’t been able to recover a single thing. The museum has managed to mark most of the stolen things in the Interpol database, so that if anything surfaces, they will know that it’s stolen. They didn’t just steal things of monetary value, these artifacts contain Ivory Coast’s precious history, with some of them being from as early as the 17th century. “Among the stolen artifacts were 35 gold pendants dating from the 18th Century, 12 traditional necklaces from the 17th Century, six miniature gold boxes from the 18th Century, a 19th Century royal sabre, and an Akan king headdress, which could come from the Baoule or Anyi kingdoms.”

#15 Jean Lafitte Jean Lafitte was a pirate from France. He and his brother worked together during the 19th century to steal treasure off boats in the Gulf of Mexico. They were hardcore pirates. They had a warehouse set up where they would bring the treasure to sell it. Many people believe that Jean and his brother, Pierre Laffite, had so much treasure that they weren’t able to sell it all. Instead, they began to bury the treasure to keep it safe. Whether this part is true or just a legend is hard to really know. Rumor has it that the treasure was buried in Lake Borgne and still remains there. This is located near the coast of New Orleans. Jean died in 1823, right before pirates basically became extinct in the Gulf of Mexico. There are also many rumors and legends about his death. No one is really sure how it happened.

Source: TheRichest

[dac-bonj]

Lesotho Infinity And Beyond: 24 December 2016: Zimbabwe- Bulawayo

               From Francistown, I got on this bus to the Ramokgwebana/Plumtree border between Botswana and Zimbabwe. To get out of Botswana, it was slowish, but organized. The bus picked everyone up after we’d all stamped out and took us to the Zimbabwe side, and there it took insanely longer and was much more chaotic, with people butting in, crowding around the counters, etc. It costs $30 for an American to get a single-entry visa to Zim. I had the option to pay with USD, Rand, Pula, Pounds, or Euros.

                Let me elaborate on the money situation here, oh readers, because it is an interesting one indeed. Seriously- I went down the internet wormhole just reading so far into this. Here’s the Wikipedia link if you’re interested in reading more.

                The gist of the situation is that in the 1980s, Zimbabwe was doing pretty well economically. In the late 90s, though, Mugabe’s government instituted land reforms that put the land owned by white people into the hands of black people. This included a lot of farmland, which the white farmers had been growing lots of successful crops on. Once the whities were forced out and the new black “farmers” took over, it was soon evident that they didn’t have any experience with farming, and the country fell into a food shortage situation. The fact that banks were also failing didn’t help, and Zimbabwe turned from an exporter into an importer, effectively accruing lots of foreign debt. So how do you get out of debt? You need more money. What’s the easiest thing you can do to get more money in a bunk economy? Print it, of course. What could possibly go wrong? Answer: everything.

Printing vast quantities of money, as you probably learned in some economics class, causes inflation, as there is more money for the same amount of goods, so the money loses its value. The money becomes more and more worthless, so you have to print more and more bills of higher denominations to keep up. What results is a horrific vicious cycle of hyperinflation. It was so bad that at the end of 2008, the money was inflating at a rate of about 80 billion percent…per month! You’ve probably heard about Germans taking wheelbarrows of money to the store to buy a loaf of bread in the 1920s. Yep, same story here in Zim. The highest denomination that the government printed, right before the currency was abandoned in 2009, was 100 trillion dollars. Yep, that’s trillion with a capital T, which rhymes with P, which stands for pandemonium. But it wasn’t even really 100 trillion; the number value should have actually been 1025 times more than that, because of various droppings of zeroes in the process of successive printings. If you checked the price of, say, eggs at a shop in the morning, went home to get wads and wads of cash to pay for said eggs, and returned in the afternoon, whoops, the price skyrocketed and you don’t have even close to enough money anymore. Even before the Zim dollar was discontinued, the country informally, and then formally, switched to a multi-currency economy. Bartering was also very common. The USD was the currency of choice, as it was the strongest currency, but you could also use a whole host of other global currencies. I’ll go into the current currency situation a little more in the next post, but this just gives you a good idea about how chaotic things got, and how uncertain anything concerning money was/continues to be in this country.

                So yes, back to the journey at hand. But before I continue, loyal readers, my mom in the next room would like to add that she was in Zimbabwe in the 70s when it was still called Rhodesia. Wild. Anyway, overall, from border to border to freedom, it was three hours, mostly spent waiting in lines. I walked to the taxi rank on the Zim side and got the last spot (read, the taxi was full but I got squeezed in there anyway) on a minibus taxi to Bulawayo for $5, plus another $2 for my bag in the back trailer. Not wanting to use my dollars, I paid 80 Botswanan Pula instead, which they happily accepted.

After getting off the taxi in Bulawayo, I immediately went to the Pick and Pay grocery store where, guess what, I waited in more interminable lines for both the parcel counter to drop my bags and for the registers. I forgot that it was super close to Christmas, so that was probably why the store was so crowded. Then I wandered through the outdoor market to find my way back to the taxi rank. Everyone was very friendly directing me to the local taxi going to Burnside, the neighborhood my hostel was in. It was a short 50 cent ride. Here they only took USD. They laughed when I tried to pay with Pula again. But the cool thing about that ride is that I paid with a $10 bill, and in my change, among the super gross and floppy dollar bills I received (they never go out of circulation since they can’t afford to have less currency going around), I also got some new Zimbabwe Bond Notes, which are the government’s answer to the currency shortage. The thing about the Bond Notes is that they are only good within Zimbabwe, so they can’t be used to pay for foreign goods, so they’re pretty worthless in the grand scheme of things. They were only introduced a month before I got to Zimbabwe, and they're made in the form of coins and $2 notes (they have since started making $5 notes), tied to the USD.

I got out and walked to Burke’s Backpackers. It’s a beautiful and green property with the Burke family home, a pool, a pond, lots of trees, and some rooms and space for camping. That night, the family was having lots of people over to (badly) sing Christmas songs on the porch. Their out-of-tune voices lulled me to sleep as I lay in my tent that I set up next to the pool.

                The next day, the owners put me in touch with two other guests, a Swiss German and French Canadian who were traveling between semesters studying in Stellenosch, which is the wine country right outside of Cape Town. I recognized their car from several other places in Botswana, where we both had been staying, but somehow we had never talked to each other. I distinctly remembered them at Planet Baobab in Gweta, where they had quite a loud girl with them who never stopped singing and talking. She had since left the trip to go see family or something, and the two guys seemed relieved to have dropped her off a few days earlier.

                Making friends with people with cars is great. The three of us drove around Matopos National Park ($15 entry fee each person, $10 for the car). This park has lots of rock formations and balancing boulders, which feature on one side of each Zimbabwe Dollar note and the new Bond Notes (see picture above). We drove around the park, admiring the rocks, and did a little hiking including up to some cave paintings, then to the top of this small mountain. At one point, there was the option to pay $10 more to see Cecil Rhodes’s grave, but we enthusiastically declined. Why should we pay our respects (and our money) to a guy who took over and exploited Southern Africa for its diamonds and other natural resources? He is highly vilified by most people around here, so we passed.

Push!

Cave drawings

Hiking

 A view of the park

                The next afternoon, after paying for my camping spot at Burke's in both Pula and USD, I got all my stuff and walked to the road to wait for a taxi to pass by. Without even trying to flag down anyone, a guy just stopped for me and took me straight to the train station. On the way, he stopped at the Spar grocery store to see if his friend had cash for him. No cash today. This country is so strapped for cash and there isn’t any in most banks. And if there is, you can only take out $50 per day. This means that a lot of company owners effectively can’t take out enough money to pay their workers. One method of getting cash is at the grocery stores, because they seem to be the biggest source of it. You pay with a card, then get some cash back.

                So after the obligatory asking me to marry him and bring him to the US and me subsequently shutting down the conversation by truthfully saying that I literally did not have a sim card on which he could call me, the guy dropped me off at the train station. It’s so weird- even when I so vehemently shut down someone like that, they’re still super friendly, and he still said that it was nice to speak English with me and get to know what I was doing in this part of the world.

                In the next post, your hero takes an overnight train to Victoria Falls!

Another view of Matopos

The whole crew

On top of the rock mountain

Balancing rocks

More balancing rocks (middle)

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[darkot]

You know what’s something that I think about a lot? That if there was a zombie apocalypse, artists would be the first ones left behind.

You’ve got doctors who can treat wounds and keep you healthy. You’ve got police officers and hunters who can defend you and get you food. There are mechanics who can keep your vehicles running. Fishermen can bring fish to the table. Farmers can grow crops.

What the fuck is an artist going to be able to contribute in a zombie apocalypse?

The Walking Dead put it nicely. “Art isn’t about survival. It’s transcendence. Being more than animals. Rising above.” That really stuck with me. While you can interpret many things from that quote, one thing that I derived from it is that, art is only useful in a peaceful society. In this age we live in, art serves to educate and entertain. It gives us reprieve from the mundanity of daily, modern life. It paves the way for more profound thought--for societal change. But when there is a lack of society, what place is there for it? Who will value that skill, and the life of the person in possession of it, over somebody who knows how to scavenge, shoot, or heal? You could argue that an academic artist could act the part of an architect. They could oversee the construction of buildings to keep people safe. But even then, they would not be valued until the re-establishment of society began.

An artists’ vision today helps the blind see and the numb feel. They help shape a more civilized civilization, by lessening our ignorance, so that the world produces less bad people.

An artists’ vision in this hypothetical zombie world would help rebuild society. They could create plans for houses and cities to keep us safe, and keep the bad people (and zombies) out.

In both scenarios, artists help defend us from monsters. The difference being that one monster wants you to hate and hurt, while the other monster wants to eat your face.

It can be argued that artists are simultaneously the most valuable and most easily disposable members of society. The world needs them. But they are the first to be sacrificed.

...

So, that’s a little insight into the weird shit my introverted brain thinks of.

I have been thinking too much lately though, as I always do. As much as I try to work on getting out of my own head, I somehow only end up digging deeper and deeper into it.

Er.. I should probably clarify that all that zombie apocalypse stuff isn’t what I’ve been thinking so deeply on. I mean yes, I thought about it, but that’s not what is really on my mind primarily.

I just.. I’m having trouble moving forward. it’s frightening. I have no trouble admitting that I’m terrified of what’s to come, because the further I go ahead, the more responsibility I take.

I’ve spent all these years hurting and healing.. Now that I’m fully recovered, I’m at a loss as to how to proceed. I’m having trouble believing in myself, and that’s holding me back from becoming who I need to become.

I have a test coming up and.. I don’t know. I’m paralyzed with fear, for some reason. Subconsciously, I’m playing out how it’s going to go over and over, and.. I just can’t have faith in myself to do well. Which is weird, because I’ve only gotten graded at above 90% for all of my assignments in this course. I know the material, so I’m fairly certain that this is just about not wanting things to change as I move on from where I’m at now.

Ughh.. fell asleep halfway through writing this.

Anyways, Overwatch season 3 ended yesterday. I ended the season at 3070, with a season high of 3348. I completed my original goal of making it to diamond near the beginning of the season, where I started off in platinum. However, my goal shifted to getting to master when I saw the very real possibility of that happening. I made it more than halfway there--accumulating 348/500 of the points necessary to rank up. But alas, t’was not meant to be this season. I’m okay with that now, upon reflection, and once I realized that I met my original goal. However, along the way it was extremely frustrating. Just in the past week, I ran into a troll on my team who just kept throwing themselves off the map the entire game, a blatant aimbotter on the other team, and had internet issues that d/c’d me from two games. Between all of those things, I lost about 200 SR (I was already down to 3100-ish at this point. I started climbing again, but these were the last nails in the coffin marked “you are not getting master this season.”)

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this. Well, that may go without saying, since I do a lot of thinking about everything. But.. I don’t know. Overwatch is an amazing game. I love it to death. It is by far the best FPS that I have ever played. However, I can’t help but feel like I’m developing a useless skill here. More useless than art in a zombie apocalypse.

I had made a silent vow to myself that I was going to slow down on playing the game once I hit diamond, but I didn’t follow through with that. I really want to make it to master. I honestly believe that I play at a master level, when going back and analyzing my game play, and I’ve shown definite potential to climb to that rank in this season. 

As much as I enjoy playing this game, the grind is a real bitch. It’s got me thinking about what really matters, and as much as I’d like this achievement.. in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn’t do me any good. I told myself that I’d NEVER get into professional gaming (not that this is professional gaming, but it’s getting into that far more serious realm), because the time commitment is too large for the amount of earnings, and it is too repetitive of a thing for me to stay interested in it. I’d have to constantly sink hundreds upon hundreds of hours into a game “gittin’ gud” at it, in order to keep my skills sharp and better than my competition. If there is any game I’d be willing to do that for, it is Overwatch (or maybe Smash Bros.), because of its immense depth and variety of characters. But even with Overwatch, I would get bored of that so insanely quickly. I’ve played less than 100 hours this season, and I got burnt out at a point or two. 

To put things in perspective, who are the real “losers” in this situation? The pros, who get to play this game all day and be the best, but only make a moderate amount? Or the devs who don’t get to play their own game very much, and aren’t the best at it, but make infinitely more money? A pro can say to a dev that he’s better at the game than him, but the dev can say to the pro that he can’t hear him from the third floor of his mansion.

That’s more or less how I’m looking at things at this point. I could lifelessly devote all of my time to this game and become one of the best players of it. I could have that achievement of saying that I’m in the top 10,000 players in the Americas. But, my time would be much better spent honing a skill for my career. I could make a game of my own and be further off than if I made it to the top of the leaderboards in this game.

I’m still going to play it because of how much I enjoy it. But I don’t think I’ll continue to take it quite as seriously. I had started connecting part of my self worth onto wether I made it to master or not. I wanted to prove to myself that I could get there if I really tried. I have more important things to take care of, though. 

An artist that I follow made a post on here of them hitting master, and saying that they were glad that they could put down this, as they put it, “time vampire.” And it’s true. That would essentially be what I’d do if I made it there. I’d have gotten that achievement under my belt, and wouldn’t devote nearly as much of my time to the game after that. If I get to master next season playing semi-casually, then cool. If not, that’s fine too. I’ve already made it to the highest rank that I can get to, where I can’t fall out of it. I'll always be diamond, but I could lose my master title very easily. Just takes one bad game after making it there to lose it, and a few more to get you far enough away from it that you really have to fight for it again.

At the very least, master or not, I have absolutely ZERO intention of trying to reach grandmaster. Fuck. That. As much as I think I’d enjoy that level of play, where everyone is coordinated and knows what they’re doing, the grind to get there would literally drive me insane (plus, I don’t think my own gameplay is at a grandmaster level to be honest). If I ever go back on that and start making my way to GM, I want someone to take a screenshot of this, print it out, roll the paper up, and slap me in the face with it.

There’s more to talk about. I started playing Fire Emblem: Heroes the other day. Watched Stranger Things finally. The Dragons of Ashfall release comes out for AQ3D tomorrow. But, I don’t feel like typing all of that up right now. Maybe tomorrow.

I’m really not sure what to do right now, though. It’s 3:30am. I guess I’ll try going back to sleep, but since I woke up not too long ago, I don’t know if I’ll be able to?

OH GOD, WHAT IF I CAN NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!?

Guess we’ll find out, haha.